Behind the Bastards - We Read Marjorie Taylor Green's Book

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

Sophie reads Marjorie Taylor Green's book to Jamie and Robert.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Call zone media. Oh, welcome back to Behind the Bastards, a podcast where we are recording a bonus kind of, an emergency episode, not for now, but for whenever we have an emergency, and to come in as our pinch hitter and really just get some shit recorded, just some absolute garbage.

Jamie Loftus, how are you doing? Thank you, thank you. Yes, when you think I need some absolute garbage on wax today, who do you call? Yeah, that's right. Who do you like, who's definitely around who can slop some shit onto the? We're being sloppy today.

I'm about to go out deer hunting, which should be obvious by my clothing. You're in a different kind of camo, Jamie. Yeah, I'm probably gonna go to a bar and eat a hot dog after this. So this is the camo of that. You are also planning to shoot something, but yeah. I've never, I know you know this,

but I've never shot anything. Okay, that's fair. That's fair I mean, yeah, cuz it was an axe in Grand Rapids, right? It was okay. Can I tell you something about Grand Rapids really quick? Well two things first I forgot finally getting the confession folks. This is a big day Innocent I went on a podcast recently and like the topic, Grand Rapids kept coming up and I literally, but they like, I was almost certain. I was like, they wouldn't know. If I made a weird comment about Grand Rapids,

they would just be confused. But there was a pit in my stomach. Like I should say something. I have to say, I have to make a comment. I should say I'm innocent. No, the real thing was I was in Pittsburgh over the summer Because Pittsburgh rocks. Do you like Pittsburgh? I I've never been actually I think you'd love it. It's really I've heard only good things It rocks and I was talking to the hot dog king of

Pittsburgh and that seems like a town where there's competition for the title. Yes, I mean, he's like a generational hot dog king. And he's like the Mr. Rogers of Pittsburgh. I would say Pittsburgh and Detroit would be like the hot dog cities that would be most impressed if someone was the king of. Like if somebody's like, I'm the hot dog king of Portland.

I'm like, well, who gives a fuck? Well, there is one though. There's one in every town. But yeah, no, Pittsburgh, it's this guy named Rick Seebeck who rocks. He makes like these really, really cool PBS documentaries. So he was on stage with me. We were doing a talk back.

He's like easily, I think, 40 years older than me maybe. And he, in conversation, dropped in Grand Rapids. And I was like, that's weird. I think 40 years older than me maybe and he in Conversation dropped in Grand Rapids and I was like, that's weird. I kept talking and then he was like Do you have anything you want to tell me about Grand Rapids? Because he listens to the show Robert! Oh God! Our massive and unprecedented penetration of every demographic has finally come back to bite us in the ass. You got the hot dog king.

You got the hot dog king of Pittsburgh. You're un-fucking-stoppable. Yeah, and then he tried to corner me into confessing into murder in front of a crowd full of people who allegedly liked me. A lot of people just care about justice, Jamie. A lot of people just care about justice. No, they want to see a woman hung out to dry. I did innocent This has been a good bit. I was gonna open us with a bit about pedophiles, but this is a lot more fun

I mean yeah, we can but you know we could always go back to back But it's been kind of a pedophile dense year for. I didn't mean to, but we've really wound up hitting them a lot. From Audio Up, the creators of Stephen King's Strawberry Spring comes The Unborn, a shocking true story. My babies, please, my babies. One woman, two lives, and a secret she would kill

to protect. She went crazy. She shot and killed all her farm animals., slaughtered them in front of the kids, tried to burn their house down. Listen to The Unborn on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes,

entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Join iHeart Media Chairman and CEO Bob Pittman for a special episode of the hit podcast, Math and, Stories from the Frontiers of Marketing, as he interviews the iconic and prolific Martha Stewart in front of a live audience in celebration of her 100th book. Did you ever think you were going to wind up writing 100 books? Yeah. You did? Yeah, it's just a minor goal.

Listen to Math & Magic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Chelsea Handler here. This week on the Dear Chelsea podcast, Riley Keough discusses the memoir she co-wrote with her mother, Lisa Marie Presley. But it's also such a gift to be able to sit here and say as an adult woman, I had such a good mother. Yes.

That is a gift. I know. You know, she certainly was not like a, I don't know what a perfect mother is. Well, she wasn't a traditional mother. She wasn't a traditional mother. I am so grateful to have had her as a mother. To have that kind of love. Find Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul.

And I'm Jordan, or Joho. And we are the Black Fat Film Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Ooh chat, this year we have had some of our favorite people on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angela Carrasso and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Film Podcast on the iHeart Radio app, have a podcast or whatever you get your podcast girl. and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Fam podcast on the iHeartRadio app, other podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts, girl. Ooh, I know that's right. Speaking of people who aren't pedophiles in a way I can prove, today we're going to be reading Marjorie Taylor Greene's book. Oh my God. There is an entire section about pedophiles in this book, FYI. I knew it would be relevant.

It always somehow is. It always somehow is. Wait, so Sophie, you have a signed copy of this book? She sure does. Why don't you tell them that story, Sophie? How did you get a signed fucking copy of Marjorie Taylor Greene's book? I will say, just to say, I don't know listeners,

if you don't listen to our other podcasts at KidAvener, you don't know that Robert Garrison and I went to the RNC and it was weird. Not for work, just as fans, right? Just for the vibes. Just for the vibes. And on a day where I was trying to get us acting Right just just for the vibes. Yeah for the vibes and On a day where I was trying to get us access to things

After I had just been invited to by the Heritage Foundation people to their Social hour party that I got Robert into which was fun Garrison and I Walked down a little bit to where Marjorie Taylor green Was doing a book signing for her new book MTG Yes, Jamie. It's called MTG Okay, so she's trying to what is what is she is she trying to do an RBG thing? Is she trying to rebrand as a rapper?

Like what's going on? I don't know. I mean, the cover of the book, I'm gonna turn my camera, I am off camera today, YouTube watchers, cause I had a bad time at the allergist, but I'm gonna turn my camera on for Jamie and Robert so you can see this cover of,

oh, I don't have my camera on. Yeah, absolutely. Hold on. Oh my God. Wow. Oh my God. Great lighting too. Wow. Really good lighting, Sophie. Yeah, the overhead lighting that I have up, I'm really adding to it.

That makes it look ethereal. Like it's a pillar that landed in the middle of a bunch of apes in like 150,000 BC. Yeah. And they're gonna start beating each other to death in order to get access to its wisdom. Just to say, Malcolm, you can put this part up where it's covering my face.

Also, is the lady in silhouette on the front supposed to be Marjorie Taylor Greene? Because that does not look like Marjorie Taylor Greene. That's a body double. That is not quite a double, but yeah. Anyways, I tried to get her to answer a question about education and her people took away my phone as I was doing it.

answer a question about education and her people took away my phone as I was doing it. But I got this signed copy of this book, which I thought, you know, I know a place where we could read that. Sure. Yeah, I'm trying to think of like what the most cursed signed copy I have against my will. I think that I have like a signed copy of a book

that's like one of the doctors that allegedly killed Anne Nicole Smith. For some reason I have his book and it's signed. That's a choice. How did I end up with Anne Nicole Smith? Yeah. At this point in the RNC, I was like, you know what? Fuck it.

I'm gonna get this book. I know. Just like getting all the pamphlets for the Heritage Foundation, it's like we can do stuff with that. If people need to know what these people are saying because they are poisoning our world. Yes. We can do hard things.

I can say that just by looking at the cover, I can tell that you have never opened that book. Just to... I've opened it once to show a couple of our friends how cursed her signature is. Ooh, what do we got? We got... Yeah, I'll once again whip out the old camera covering my face. Any heart punctuation? No, it's just like you can't even... Yeah, I'll once again whip out the little camera covering my face. Any heart punctuation? No, it's just like you can't even.

Oh my God, she made it out to you? Yeah. So cute. Of course, she's a classy lady. Oh my God, why wouldn't you think she would make it out to her? Jesus. That's true. That's true, reach for the stars. And it wasn't even worth it,

because she gave me a really shit answer on education where she was like, oh school school choice, uh Defund the Department of Education. Oh, I haven't had original thought a day in my life Replace incorrect history books with her book. Yeah. Yeah, I think we should replace some of the history books with Yeah, yeah, I think we should replace some of the history books with Specifically we should go for like Edward Gibbons rise and fall of yes decline and fall of the Roman Empire Just throw Marjorie Taylor Greene's book in for like volume three of that shit

Work it all out Asking the and then her people taking away my phone is quite funny. Anyways, this is a very cursed book. The back of it, instead of having people who actually like her giving reviews, she decides what I'm guessing is her most notable enemies, where it's just the first review is, isn't she amazing? Joe Biden in all caps. This woman should be on a watch list, not in Congress. Hillary Clinton. She must be expelled. AOC. MTG is a cause for trauma and fear among members of Congress.

Nancy Pelosi. Just keeps it. And then for some reason she goes, the last one is Whoopi Goldberg. I'm like, I didn't know that Whoopi Goldberg was up in that clout level. But I guess I guess she kind of operates as like like an elected politician would. I don't remember electing Whoopi Goldberg, but I'm fine with it. This woman gets to come and talk about talking over taking over the country and she's not behind bars. How does that work? Whoopi Goldberg. Wow, that's such an approach to like, pull quotes too.

It's very Megalopolis of her to do. Yeah, yeah, it's a real, that guy with the wine move. I forgot what's his name's name for a second there. And it's still forgotten. What the fuck, I was just listening to a review of that movie. What is it?

It's Jamie. Francis Ford Coppola. Give me a fuck, Coppola. God damn it, yes, of course. I'm sorry, I did wanna watch you squirm. The uncle to every living male actor today, apparently. It's Jamie. Francis Farquhufa. Give me a fuck Coppola. Francis Farquhufa. God damn it, yes of course. I'm sorry, I did wanna watch every living male actor today apparently. Normally I'd start at the beginning of a book.

Unbelievable. But I just wanna, one other interesting to note is I've never seen this before, but her end notes, instead of it being like normal bibliography style end notes where it's like tells you the name of a thing, it's just like, and this is a print copy book, it's just like hyperlinks to articles. Yeah, like she's reading a high school essay or something.

It's like they're show notes essentially. Yeah. It's just links to things. But it's- I wonder, do we- Like they're clickable, but it's, like, but it's not like, Robert, do you think she wrote it? Oh my God, that's so many links. They never do.

It's, my guess is- There's like 10 pages of that. Just based on the way things tend to work, she probably submitted an outline or she may have, my guess is she dictated an outline in a conversation with somebody the publisher sent That person may have been a ghostwriter or may have handed that off to a ghostwriter And then she got to approve probably again verbally like she may have just had someone read it to her because she's She's famous enough that they may have just had someone read it to her and occasionally she would suggest changes

Or maybe she didn't read it at all and just approved it. That's my operating theory with the Melania book. I don't think anyone in the whole family knows what it says. I think you probably, it's probably a rare one of these where the author puts in more than about eight hours of actual work. Robert, while I get to the beginning here,

I would like you to look up the publisher, which is WinningPublishing.com. Tell me if you guys- Oh, now that sounds like a real publisher. Ooh. Give me any information. That sounds like it's not just a Peter Thiel cut out. Anyways, the book starts with a

inscription from President Donald J. Trump. Cause of course it does. Well, I mean, keep it in the family. So it's owned by Donald, Donald, Donald Jr. It's owned by Donald Trump Jr. And someone named Sergio, Sergio Gore, which is what I would name the- That sounds like an Italian horror movie director.

I would name a bad guy that in like one of the early Marvel movies. Yeah, Sebastian Stan as, so no. I'm looking, he has 14, less than 15,000 publishers. No. Oh, that is not a Sergio. Look at that man's face. Wait, let's see. Jesus Christ.

I found his Twitter and I'm sorry. He's, I'll pop my screen on here. Oh my God. Look at this. You need, you need. Look at this dude. You gotta have a chin to be Sergio. You need to have a jaw line. I'm sorry. You need to have a jaw line to be Sergio Gore. Share your screen really fast. I'd like to see what you're looking at. Yeah, you gotta have a chin to be Sergio.

I'm sorry. Share your screen really fast. I'd like to see what you're looking at. Look, we're not in the body shaming here thing, but like some names are just clearly the wrong name for a person, and this is one of them. This is just not, this is not a proper Sergio. I'm sorry.

Look at this, look at that. You tell me that's a Sergio Absolutely. That's that's a guy who was born and raised in Germany had to leave in late 1945 for some reason moved to Argentina and started calling himself Sergio That's the kind of Sergio that is I was He is clearly committed to the conservative school of Twitter pictures for men. The yeah, the sunglasses out the window at an unfloat like the Gen X selfie. It's just a fucking disaster. You know what he's well cast for?

If you were doing a movie about like hidden like Nazis, vampires living underground, like hidden, like Nazis, vampires living underground. You could like, this is a guy who you could show that picture and then show a picture of the same guy in like an SS uniform in 1943. And that would be like the big moment where like, oh my God, it's the same guy. He's identical. You realize they've been vampires the whole time.

That's how this man looks. That's Sergio Gore. He's got his AirPods in. He sure does. Wow. Take them out for the picture, bro. What are you doing? What is wrong with you?

Anyways, Marjorie Taylor Greene has been one of the most fierce warriors. Okay, sorry. Oh no. No, I was just looking at his posts. Leave it up, leave it up. I'm just looking at his posts. You read it, I'll scroll through these posts.

You doom scroll, I'll read. Marjorie Taylor- this is a quote from former president Donald J. Trump, which she does not include the former part in her book. Marjorie Taylor Greene has been one of the most fierce warriors in Congress for America first in all it stands for. Despite the onslaught of attacks from the Marxist Democrats and the fascists in the media Marjorie refuses to back down and never stops fighting. She stands with the All caps people not the politicians. That's good on all caps Her America first credentials are forged in steel and with fighters like her we will make America great again. Jesus Christ I just got really distracted by that America great again. Jesus Christ.

I just got really distracted by the Trump thing. I'm actually extremely angry by this because they've taken a quote from Galaxy Quest, which I would say is one of the chief accomplishments of our civilization is that movie. And of course he co-opted it. And of course he co-opted it. I'm livid.

God, never give up, never surrender. I don't know how to move on for that, but anyways, let's get to it. No, no, no, let's just go right on, because we've looked into Sergio Gore, that's good to know. Yeah, you're- I think we have an understanding of who he is as a man. Thank you, Sergio, for making this possible.

So I'm in the table of contents. Yes, choosing to believe the song, Hey Sergio, by Streetlight Man, well, it was originally Thomas Kalnocki with Catch 22, but you get, it's been with a bunch of bands, but I'm choosing to believe it's about him. It's a poll, that song gets more relevant every year, Jamie. It's a good song.

It's a perfect song. It's just a wild poll. It's the apex of ska as an art form. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. There's 17 chapters. I'd like each of you to guess the closest you can

to chapter titles. You know what I think we're going to do first, Sophie, is we're going to pull to ads real quick and then we'll come back and do that. Fair enough. In the quiet town of Avella, Pennsylvania, Jared and Christy Akron seemed to have it all. A whirlwind romance, a new home and twins on the way. What no one knew was that Christie was hiding a secret.

So shocking, it would tear their world apart. 911 response, what's your emergency? My babies, please, my babies! One woman, two lives, and the truth more terrifying than anyone could imagine. They had her as one of the suspects, but they could never prove it. You're going to go to jail if you don't come with us right now.

Throughout this whole thing I kept telling myself nobody's that crazy crazy crazy. Uncover the chilling mystery that will leave you questioning everything. A story of the lengths we go to protect our darkest secrets. She went crazy, shot and killed all her farm animals, slaughtered them in front of the kids, tried to burn their house down. Audio Web presents the Unborn on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those

runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real, inspiring stories from the people you know, follow, and admire, join me every week for Post Run High.

It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Martha Stewart has been a household name for over four decades and still isn't done. Join iHeart Media Chairman and CEO Bob Pittman

for a special episode of the hit podcast, Math & Magic, Stories from the Frontiers of Marketing, as he interviews this icon in front of a live audience to celebrate her 100th book, Martha, the Cookbook, 100 Favorite Recipes, with lessons and stories from my kitchen. Did you ever think you were going to wind up writing 100 books? Yeah. You did? Yeah, it's just a minor goal. Stories from my kitchen. This intimate and wide-ranging conversation between friends covers the pivotal decisions in Martha's career, the philosophy that has guided her, and the source of so much of her

creative inspiration. They actually looked at the July issue that I had prototyped, and they said, this is fabulous. What would you do next July? And I said prototyped, and they said, this is fabulous. What would you do next July? And I said, well, living is a limitless subject matter. Listen to math and magic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Chelsea Handler here. This week on the Dear Chelsea podcast,

Riley Keough discusses the memoir she co-wrote with her mother, Lisa Marie Presley. But it's also such a gift to be able to sit here and say as an adult woman, I had such a good mother. Yes. That is a gift. I know. You know, she certainly was not like a,

I don't know what a perfect mother is. Well, she wasn't a traditional mother. She wasn't a traditional mother. I am so grateful to have had her as a mother. To have that kind of love. It felt like when you were on the plane ride coming home, texting with your dad about whether or not she was alive still, there was almost an acceptance

from you that that was the way it was gonna be instead of sometimes we resist and fight the reality that we're in. I think a lot of my lifetime has been acceptance. There's been a lot of things where I've just had to, like there's nothing to do other than surrender to what's happening. I just kept feeling like in the moment, like the only way out is through. I just felt like I had to feel it all and had to be present through it.

Find Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul. And I'm Jordan or Joe Ho. And we are the Black Fat Film Podcast. Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul. And I'm Jordan or Joe Ho. And we are the BlackFatFilm Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Oh, chat, this year we have had some of our favorite people on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angela Carrasso and more.

Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Fam podcast on the iHeartRadio app, have a podcast or whatever you get your podcast girl. Ooh, I know that's right. We're back, Sophie. Let's go through those chapters. No, I want you to take a guess. What's one of the, there's 17 things. of them's got to be about trans people, right? I mean probably

But there's not a direct title. Oh I'm gonna guess it's protect child's innocence protects protect child's innocence. Yeah, that's probably the trans one There's gonna gotta be one on the border protect us from... I stop white genocide. I don't know what the fuck she'd title that. I trif AOC in the lunchroom and I do it again. That would be called no green deal. There we go. Okay. No green deal. There you go. Yeah. Anyways, the first section is called blue jeans and big dreams My state yeah, wow blue jeans and big dream. Okay, which kind of Lana Del Rey coded I know a lot of a lot of the right is these days a lot of like the lady, right?

Yeah, including Lana Lana Del Rey was always pretty problematic. Jamie. That was what made her music fun You don't gotta tell me so a fan of hers threw something at my head. Anyways, let's get started here. It starts with call me, no, everyone has their favorite pair of blue jeans. We have our- I'm on board with her so far. I don't own a single pair of blue jeans.

You haven't worn hard pants in like, fuck if I know. That's not true. I got hard pants made with my suit that I wore. That is true. That is true. A couple of days. I wore that a couple of days at the DNC and the Air and Sea. Sorry, could someone define hard pants for me for just really quick?

Anything that needs a belt to stay up. Yeah. Oh, okay. Hard pants. I just hope you know that you two are the only people that have ever said that. We've had a lot of conversations about this because it's actually one of Robert's like, I- I wear exclusively pajamas.

Yeah. He's like- Yeah, I'm wearing pajamas right now. You know how I always say I work hard so my dog has a better life? Robert works hard so he doesn't have to wear hard pants. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. There was a decision I made when some guy shot at me one time where I was like, I almost died in uncomfortable pants. I'm never doing that again. Anyways, everyone has their favorite pair of boots. I'm not gonna get through most of this book, but I'm with her so far.

We have our preferred brands and go-to styles. You can wear them to school, a date night, a game, a party, a dance, or to go to work, whether you're changing the oil under a lifted truck on the job site or going to the office. I hate this shit. You've never changed your own oil, Marjorie. Don't even lie.

She's really painting a picture of her as like a Julia Roberts character. It's such a 20 years ago populism, where it's like, I'll wear my blue jeans to a fancy dinner. You know, because fancy dinner, you know? Because fancy dinner's the steakhouse in my town. You can even wear them to church. Man, the richest people in the world dress like shit now.

It's fine. Some of us slide. Nobody's a dick about this anymore. Some of us slide them on while standing up, bouncing from one foot to the other. Others wiggle into them, lying on the bed, sucking in to zip up the zipper and button the waist.

This is the first paragraph. I don't know why we're talking about this for so long. That is the first paragraph. You're not selling me on jeans, to be honest. Neither of those ways sound comfortable. But listen. What's easy to put on is a fucking pair of pajama pants. Robert, seems like these pants are a little too hard.

Mine are made out of wool. Blue jeans are a staple for all Americans at all times That's a no Okay Especially because I don't know It's that's not the number one kind of pant that I see on like a job site It's certainly not the number one kind of pant like if you're you know working out in a farm There's some places where blue jeans is the right thing to wear but like it sucks

ass if it's super wet to be wearing blue jeans while doing agricultural work they're not great for it. Does she have anything to say about like the cut? Yeah of course. Oh good it keeps going I was hoping that this section would continue to go. And no matter who you are that favorite pair of jeans fits just right and feels so good Once you have them on you are unstoppable. That's what it feels like to be an American Used to feel like Darling, you know what makes you feel unstoppable is taking your friends adderall

You know what makes you feel unstoppable is taking your friend's Adderall along with a cocktail of the finest pills the gas station provides truckers and then getting in a car and driving for 37 and a half hours. That makes you feel like a god. By like the 24 hour point, if you just keep taking the pills, man, you see through time,

you realize that it's just an illusion that like road trips, distance, all of this is fake. And you can literally just pick a point in space and time and pull yourself through it. That's how I do road trips. I'm telling you about blue jeans, because decades ago, when big corporations took their manufacturing overseas,

those iconic blue jeans we wear began arriving from nearly every country but America. With their cheaper labor. What a smooth transition. Yeah, whose fault is that, Marjorie? What a smooth transition. God, she's already taking out. The people who own blue jeans factories and offshore them,

who do they send their money to? Which political party? With their cheaper labor. I can't get over the fact that she said they look comfortable and she just described how hard they were to put on Yeah, i'm stuck there. They suck but that's what it feels like to be an american It fucking sucks with their cheaper labor costs india mexico china and others could make them for so much less This meant corporations selling american labels discovered they could make more money buying denim manufactured overseas.

This is boring. She's just talking about manufacturing. She's talking about jeans a lot. I think this is, I mean, the good news is nobody who likes her reads is going to read. Like this book is not, and none of these are generally made to be read. Right, they're made to be on a table.

Yeah, and you sell it and you get like part of how like you get bribed as a politician like her is you come out with your book that this vanity press then gets a bunch of different right wing organizations and think tanks to buy a shitload of copies of. And you know, no one needs to read it for it to get on the bestseller list and you to make money. Right. Like that's it's part of like how these people get paid. Pick a number between 2 and 17

14 11 Well, I'm just I'll start with 14 and then we'll go back to 11. I was just having you pick chapter numbers Oh, I should have guessed that oh But 13 is so funny. Okay, we'll come back to that. We won't know. 14 is impeachment now. Wow. Impeachment is a tool the founding fathers gave us to remove someone in government. This is like Wikipedia about... The beginning is, yeah, chat GPT about impeachment.

Mm-hmm. She's talking about how she tried, she wants to impeach Joe Biden. Biden is aiding and abetting the Mexican criminal cartel drug runners. Imagine the uproar if 300 people died daily in plane crashes. We'd ground every airplane in America until we solved the problem. Along our southern border, the crisis is allowed to continue because of the left's liberal ideology. Did she say 300,000 people are dying every day?

300. Oh, 300. Okay. Okay. Well, I mean, here's the thing, Marjorie. The reason why 300 people don't die every day in plane crashes is because the airline industry is incredibly heavily regulated and has been regulated for decades with this kind of obsessive focus on stopping people from dying and crashes.

And if the illegal drug supply was instead a legal and regulated drug supply with extremely high standards for what could get through and high standards for who and when it was sold and all this kind of stuff, then probably a lot less people would die. For one thing, if you're buying your drugs from a government store that has strict rules

about like what and how they can sell, you know you're not getting fucking any fentanyl in your shit, right? There's a bunch of ways to fix this. Especially the blue ones. Look at the sickening results of people hooked on fentanyl-laced drugs in addition to the deaths. The drug addicts hooked on these potent animals look like zombies.

I see them whenever I go to New York, Washington, DC, Los Angeles, or any other Democrat-run city. Thousands a day suffer the consequences of legal drugs that flow over the border. Still, the media typically doesn't say a word because they share Biden's political views. They're so boring. I can't, I'm still, I can't, I'm just like, she keeps getting me stuck early in the, in the chapter where I just am like, why did she compare the airlines to pharmaceuticals? Is there a Sully of drug dealers? Could we find him?

And the fact that there's only people who do drugs in democratic cities. Just simply not true. No, I mean, part of it's like the wind shit got where, right? One of the reasons why we're having such an issue with fentanyl right now in Oregon is that fentanyl like got here later than it got to a lot of the rest of the country. And like the fucking actual way in which the opiate epidemic spread had an impact on like

how and when fentanyl hit different places. Like these are, I mean, the idea that like the epidemic of deaths due to the illegal use of opioids is a liberal city phenomenon is for one thing kind of cutting all of Appalachia out of it, which like, boy, that's supposed to be something JD Vance knows something about, but I love that he's blaming his mom's drug addiction on fucking fentanyl

being trafficked in when it's like, your mom was stealing pills. Like, as a nurse, right? Like, she wasn't getting them from someone who smuggled them across the border. So true. Anyway. Back to chapter 11, which is titled,

Right versus Wrong. Right versus Wrong. Right vs. Wrong. For the first time in a long time with Donald J. Trump, we had a man running for office that stood for what we believed in, who spoke like a regular person, questionable, and who championed America first policies, policies that the Republican Party

had not stood for in years. This is the kind of leadership we need if we're going to fight the climate alarmists trying to use fear as a way of making money and taking over our country. She's incredible at bringing an issue into an intro paragraph without it making any sense. It really does feel like it's just a randomized, she's got just two wheels that she spins and she's like, okay, jeans, Mexico, airlines, fentanyl. Like it's just completely mad libs.

Let me task you. This section's called a leg or a handout in the same right versus wrong chapter. Let me task you, task you, not ask you. Which option does more for America? Government handouts are putting money back into our economy to fuel growth, produce more tax revenue and employ more, especially economically vulnerable people.

Hard choice, right? I don't know, I'd take a handout. God, okay. Right about now, I feel like I should be given a handout for having to read this book. Yeah, I mean, you were handed the book, this book Yeah, I mean you were handed the book. So yeah And and as I was handed the book my phone was taken out of my hand still very on chill Yeah, that is on chill. You should have just started hitting

Yeah, you know I wanted us to get into that Heritage Foundation party So I was like trying to knock it because the booth was right across and so Yeah, because all they saw was a woman, a white woman with blonde hair and pigtails. And they were like, you're one of us. And then let me bring as many people as I could to their curse party, which is. Wow, it's what it's weaponizing for good every night since the RNC. I've I've drank my kratom in a Heritage Foundation Cup, of which I have six.

Six. Oh, I stole a lot. I've drank my kratom in a Heritage Foundation cup, of which I have six. Six? Uh-huh, oh, I stole a lot. Oh my God. Here as a couple too. Like, I took a lot of those fucking things. Oh, when you were at my house, I didn't show you my R&C hall. I stole a lot of things.

No, yeah, why wasn't that just like out? I don't know why that wasn't just out and maybe even in the window. People might mistake her meaning. Yeah No, no, I I would have loved to seen that out I would have felt very safe. Okay looking at the MTG Goodreads page right now and it's it's brutal. It's brutal. I mean, yeah Good reads not a fan of hers For sure, are there any are there any nice reviews? Goodreads, not a fan of hers, for sure.

Are there any nice reviews? There are five. I can read some five star reviews. Yeah, read one and I'll respond doing my Marjorie Taylor Greene imitation that I got good at after the RNC. Okay. Here we go. MTG is one of the few America first patriots in Congress.

If we had more Republicans like MTG, we could finally rid this country of these disgusting communists currently destroying it. If you are easily triggered, this book probably isn't for you. You should probably curl up in a safe space and read Liz Cheney's garbage book. But if you want to read about what a real patriot is doing and what you can do to help take back this country, then pick this book up and learn something. Eric. Man, look, okay. I just want to say to Eric. I just want to say to Eric, thank you.

Thank you, Eric. Thank you. Obviously, I'm not going to read Liz Cheney's book. I didn't even know she had a goddamn book but but Marjorie Marjorie I gotta say it sounds kind of desperate that you're like comparing yourself to her to pump your book up like Shoot I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but like be more ambitious You know like shoot a little bit higher than fucking Liz Cheney Okay in these in the chapter Carter titled the mouthpiece of the Democrat Party

there's a subsection called bright spots and It's good one. I don't want to make it seem like everyone in the media is terrible Well Fox News overall hasn't been a positive experience for me for the most part I've enjoyed going on Tucker Carlson who had me on Fox Nation and Tucker Carlson tonight Well Fox has not wanted to do much with me, which I've never understood, Tucker and a few others have cared enough to get their information on me straight. Unfortunately, even though Tucker Carlson was number one, not just on Fox News, but out of everyone, Fox News fired him.

We all know Tucker will be back probably by the time this book is out." Wow. What a weird, what a weird, she's just like, like hey by the way, I want to fuck Tucker Carlson Like he's an ally he's an ally you could you could find a more desperate way to write a book But you would have to work hard and you know who also works hard Sophie Jamie Sponsors, I just want to say sponsors Every day to fuck Tucker Carlson. That's their only goal.

Yeah. So help them out, you know? Wow. How hard can it be? Help everybody out. Oh yeah, really. And to our sponsors, thank you. I worked real hard.

That's what Tucker's gonna be saying. Oh God. Tucker's gonna be saying. Oh God. In the quiet town of Avella, Pennsylvania, Jared and Christy Akron seemed to have it all. A whirlwind romance, a new home and twins on the way. What no one knew was that Christy was hiding a secret so shocking it would tear their world apart.

911 response, what's your emergency? My babies, please, my babies! One woman, two lives, and the truth more terrifying than anyone could imagine. They had her as one of the suspects, but they could never prove it. You're going to go to jail, if you don't come with us right now. Throughout this whole thing, I kept telling myself,

nobody's that crazy, crazy. Uncover the chilling mystery that will leave you questioning everything. A story of the lengths we go Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the

thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real inspiring stories from the people you know, follow, and admire, join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's light-hearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Martha Stewart has been a household name for over four decades and still isn't done. Join iHeart

media chairman and CEO Bob Pittman for a special episode of the hit podcast, Math and Magic, Stories from the Frontiers of Marketing, as he interviews this icon in front of a live audience to celebrate her 100th book, Martha, the Cookbook, 100 Favorite Recipes with lessons and stories from my kitchen. Did you ever think you were gonna wind up writing 100 books? Yeah.

You did? Yeah, it's just a minor goal. This intimate and wide-ranging conversation between friends covers the pivotal decisions in Martha's career, the philosophy that has guided her, and the source of so much of her creative inspiration. They actually looked at the July issue that I had prototyped and they said, this is fabulous. What would you do next July?

And I said, well, living is a limitless subject matter. Listen to Math and Magic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Chelsea Handler here. This week on the Dear Chelsea podcast, Riley Keough discusses the memoir she co-wrote with her mother, Lisa Marie Presley. But it's also such a gift to be able to sit here and say as an adult woman, I had such a good mother.

Yes. That is a gift. I know. She certainly was not like a, I don't know what a perfect mother is. Well, she wasn't a good mother. Yes. That is a gift. I know. You know, she certainly was not like a, I don't know what a perfect mother is. Well, she wasn't a traditional mother. She wasn't a traditional mother. I am so grateful to have had her as a mother. To have that kind of love.

It felt like when you were on the plane ride coming home, texting with your dad about whether or not she was alive still, there was almost an acceptance from you that that was the way it was going to be, instead of sometimes, you know, we resist that was the way it was gonna be. Instead of sometimes we resist and fight the reality that we're in. I think a lot of my lifetime has been acceptance.

There's been a lot of things where I've just had to, like there's nothing to do other than surrender to what's happening. I just kept feeling like in the moment, like the only way out is through. I just felt like I had to feel it all and had to be present through it. Find Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul. And I'm Jordan, or Joe Ho. And we are the BlackFatFilm Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Ooh, chat, A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Ooh, chat, this year we have had some of our favorite people

on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angelica Ross, and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Film Podcast on the iHeart Radio app. Have a podcast or whatever you get your podcast, girl. Ooh, I know that's right I feel like Tucker Carlson comes scabs. Yeah

Dry scabs we've talked about this drives dry scabs like a deck of cards They make the sound Jamie if you've ever if you've ever ever put a couple of coins in a plastic cup and then shaken them around, that's the sound that his cum scabs, because they're hard and they're heavy, there's a lot of copper in them. I was thinking nickels. I was thinking like heavily metallics. Yeah, it would hurt if one of his cum scabs hit your head. It could really- Yeah, especially if he was doing it at like the top of the empire state building,

those could hit people on the ground with terminal velocity, yeah. Yeah, that would be brutal. I mean, look- This is good. The subreddit's been clamoring for cum scabs talk since Cody and I last talked about the cum of different elected leaders.

That's why I'm here. Thank you, Jamie. I have a one star good review of this book, which is just misleading title, absolutely no mention of Magic the Gathering, which is true. That's not bad. That's not bad.

That's good. That's good. I think I know why Whoopi Goldberg was on the back. I found it. Oh, they've hated her for a while. The women on the view, of course, attacked me in their typical nasty fashion, almost weakly. I find it funny that people come up to me

and say that most hateful things are usually white women, maybe 10 years older than I am, typically still wearing a mask and sometimes towing a neatly dressed husband behind them. and sometimes towing a neatly dressed husband behind them. Now, why are you bringing a neatly dressed husband into this? I don't know. You're like, she's like, unlike my husband, who looks like shit all the time to make a point.

She goes, they call me horrible names and I'll always ask them, you watch the view, right? Sure enough, they pretty much all do. Well, we all have to go to the dentist at some point so at some point you're gonna end up watching the view she takes she makes it a boy I feel like she's like doing PR for herself here where she's like please have me on your show she's like podcasts and radio shows have been better I've been on real America's voice Charlie Kirk Alex Jones Donald Trump jr Oann newsmax and others, but I would appear on more new shows as well and maybe one day I will oh

My god, she's pitching herself to be on podcasts in the book in the book Wow Wow again That's desperate. I thought things were going better for her than that because like- No, no, Robert, let's co-write a book and get on Armchair Expert. I swear to God. No. If I ever, if I write another book, Jamie, the only thing in the afterward is going to be, please do not invite me on a podcast.

I think at some point you're just like, absolutely not. No, I wanna co-publish a pamphlet and be like Dax Listen, you've been podcast it All right, she has an entire chapter about called January 6 Great She's mostly just talking about like her being a lot. Okay. It's not interesting The house chamber was incomplete and utter disarray. At one point, the crowd had begun banging on the door, loudly trying to

push the door open. Finally, the military and police showed up decked out in full equipment and armed with rifles. Boy, were we glad to see them. We're very grateful to have helped to get to a safe location. Is she not so okay. Okay. She's like, oh, she literally downplays what happened. And then it's like,

by the way, and then we were saved. Everything's fine. Right. She glazes over everything and she's like, okay, what can I do? Compliment the cops. That's like, that's her one. Yeah. That's her, her one. I later learned that the speaker of the house at the time, Nancy Pelosi had failed to secure the Capitol by not bringing in the National Guard in the weeks leading up to January 6th, 2021. Even worse, she had her daughter, a filmmaker, there to capture the day's events. What a great coincidence they just happened to be filming a documentary. Like that's that's like not what happened, but OK. Yeah. Yeah. Sure enough, only a few people bridged the Capitol

while most walked in through open doors, making one of the biggest mistakes of their lives. She calls it a mistake. Yeah, but because they got in trouble, not because they were doing the wrong thing, they probably shook her hand. Oh. How long is that chapter?

I was like that, how like, this, this. I'm surprised if any of them are more than about 500 words, right? No, the chapters are really short. The chapters are really short. Okay. The longest chapter is about the no green new deal and about COVID bullshit.

Okay. She ends this chapter saying, "'This will not happen if I can prevent it. The events of January 6th have been mischaracterized by the Democrats and their mouthpiece in the media. A circus made of the proceedings and these people cruelly treated. It must stop. It will stop. For we won't rest until these people get equal justice under the law. They will not be forgotten. I will never forget.

She just changed her stance by the end of this chapter. She was like, oh, it was a terrible day. But then we were saved from these people. Yes, but help these people, these good people. Like what? I don't think she read her own book. Yeah. To be fair. Maybe they just had two options of like,

choose this or this, and they just left both in. Her section about COVID is really long and I frankly don't care. Well, I'm kind of curious, is it real or is it made by China? I'm guessing it's made by China. Honestly, I'm mainly interested in what like misplaced metaphor she opens the chapter with.

Oh yeah, let me see. COVID is like a box of chocolates. I understand the immense heartbreak and devastation of the COVID pandemic on multiple levels. No one escaped the pandemic without a few scars. Most people lost loved ones and friends or know someone who did. Many who died were older adults with underlying conditions or people with risk factors like obesity, but a few were younger, healthy people. She's like, sorry you guys died,

but you were obese or old. And if you- Or young. And if you were- You can't be old or young. Yeah, like, oh, it's gross. I mean, luckily no one has ever read this book. It's so, this chapter is so long for no reason. Yeah, I mean there's a reason for it, but I'm sure it's because the ghost writer is personally angry about it.

I've always wanted to ghost write a book. I think it would be fun. It's like ghost writing a book. She's talking about Fauci here. I follow Dr. Fauci's advice. I follow Dr. Fauci's advice. I follow Dr. Fauci's advice. He gave privately in his personal email, not his public, hypocritical advice. I didn't wear a mask.

None of my kids wear masks. Oh, I always forget she's procreated. Yeah, unfortunately. Most people I know didn't wear a mask unless it was forced in public or to fly in an airplane We knew masks didn't work were filthy forced you to breathe in your carbon dioxide and Decrease the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream many of us felt wearing a mask was like wearing a muzzle She has so many things sort sort

Sourced as in the section to check you just sourcing that people don't like to have things on their faces. Yeah, I just want to check. I just want to check in. Pictures from Mad Max. I'm checking her end notes to see which hyperlinks she's referring to here, one of which is Newsweek with an article titled Foushee Fauci says masks not really effective And the next one is from the healthy American orgs less masks don't work I'm sure the healthy American org is a very unhinged website

Yeah Yeah, it's the bleep title Sophie that title, Sophie? TheHealthyAmerican.org slash who gives a shit. I'm checking to see if it can give me any advice on what kind of bleach I need to be drinking, though. Yeah. Yeah, like I was always curious, can you just suck on one of the pens, or will that not be entirely effective? Yeah, I don't know.

So Jamie, I was raised by a mix of hippies and libertarians, so I've just been 50-50 in bleach and apple cider vinegar. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, if one doesn't work. I'm on the healthyamerican.com and it's just says this domain. It's.org. Yeah,.org.

I tried.org, but it is not working for me. I'm on hugedomains.com. This domain is for sale for $ one hundred not straight up not loading. I think healthy American dot org. So I'm looking masks dash don't dash work. Mask slash don't. Slash work. No, no, no, no. Apostrophe. Oh, OK. No, no. It tries to take me to a landing page. That is nothing I

Would imagine how many do you think yeah now? I'm on fucking go daddy there Don't do that don't be on go daddy so many of these Check the way back machine Yeah, pulling out all the stops the Internet archives down right now because it got attacked by, I think it's Russians pretending to be pro-Palestine activists. But it's hard to say why. Well, cause the justification of the guy

and the claiming to be the hacker in his like telegram was like, well, America owns this. It's like America, no, not, not like a way that implicates the military industrial complex in the internet archive. That is not an accurate statement. Yeah, that's really fucked my month up. I think it's just a-

I think it's- Just a fake website? No, no, no, the internet archive's real, but yeah, I cannot find this thing on the internet archive, on the Wayback Machine, so I don't know what the fuck's going on with this. I would be really curious if because I was really surprised when I was writing my book how like if you want your book fact-checked you have to pay someone out of your own money to do it like they're not going to do it. Fact-checking does not exist.

I'm sorry I pause I just found out Liam Payne from One Direction just died. What? He fell down in a ho- from a third floor of a hotel in Buenos Aires? What? This has got- we've really derailed from what's happening. Let's just bring today to a close. Yeah, we have to go figure out what happened. There's a problem going on where I am too. Liam Payne. Don't read this book. Don't buy this book. Obviously it's bad.

So this book sucked. I don't think it's... We'll be revisiting this one. But you all got 45 minutes or so of entertainment. And what more can you really hope for? Is there more to life? Not as far as we here, whose jobs are reliant upon being able to entertain you

in a 45 minute podcast. And per the end of this book, Marjorie Taylor Green makes clear yet again that she cannot be trusted. Liz Cheney. Oh, yeah. Really, really attacking the core demo of people who think Liz Cheney is a writer. I don't know. I don't know why she keeps doing this. I was unaware that lissa had written a book this is really just yeah this is how the the last 45 minutes is how i learned any of these books ever existed yeah i i very few things have been worse for like the written word than the idea that like every single politician in public life has to have a book and they're increasingly like coalescing

with like the grindset influencer business management sort of like guru books. Like there are whole people who read because they have to like performatively like a book every week or something, but every book they read is either like the 45 minute body or fucking Marjorie Taylor Green's book or Peter Thiel's management advice or some shit.

How do I get the 45 minute body? Well, you take the four hour body, Jamie, and you just fucking compact that shit, right? You get a really good editor. You cut that word count down by 75% and you're good to go. Take out all the genes metaphors and you're down to a 45 minute Good lord, well it sounds worse than a youtubers memoir and that's really saying something Mm-hmm. Yep

Speaking of worse than a youtubers memoir Your book is a not it's good. Oh you have a book. That was a bad way to plug it, but you I'm neither. I'm not a youtuber and it's not a memoir. It's about Hot dogs, it's called raw dog. It is out in hardcover now. It'll be out in paperback next year And listen to 16th minute on Cool Zone Media for crying out loud. Sophie and Robert and I have been working on it for the last six months, year, time, a flat circle, where we talk to the internet's main characters of the day and see how they're doing.

It varies. Yay. All right. It's got very! All right. This got very dark very fast. Behind the Bastards is a production of Cool Zone Media. For more from Cool Zone Media, visit our website, CoolZoneMedia.com, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Behind the Bastards is now available on YouTube.

New episodes every Wednesday and Friday. Subscribe to our channel, youtube.com slash at Behind the Bastards. From audio up, the creators of Stephen King's Strawberry Spring comes The Unborn, a shocking true story. My babies please, my babies. One woman, two lives and a secret she would kill to protect. She went crazy, shot and killed all her farm animals.

Slaughtered them in front of the kids, tried to burn their house down. Listen to The Unborn on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more.

After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Join iHeartMedia chairman and CEO, Bob Bob Pitman for a special episode of the hit podcast, Math & Magic Stories from the Frontiers of Marketing, as he interviews the iconic and prolific Martha Stewart in front of a live audience in celebration of her 100th book. Did you ever think you were gonna wind up writing a hundred books? Yeah. You did? Yeah, it's just a minor goal. Listen to Math and Magic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Chelsea Handler here. This week on the Dear Chelsea podcast, Riley Keough discusses the memoir she co-wrote with her mother, Lisa Marie Presley. But it's also such a gift to be able to sit here and say, as an adult woman, I had such a good mother. Yes. That is a gift. I know. You know, she certainly was not like a I don't know what a perfect mother is. Well, she wasn't a traditional mother.

She wasn't a traditional mother. I am so grateful to have had her as a mother. To have that kind of love. Fine. Dear Chelsea, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul. And I'm Jordan or Joe Ho. And we are the BlackFatFilm Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated.

Ooh, chat. This year we have had some of our favorite people on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angelica Ross and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Fam podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast girl. Oh, I know that's right.