Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian Ep. 6 w Brian Six and Ryan Shaner

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Ian and his pals Brian Six and Ryan Shaner from the Y.F.I. Podcast get into some real business when they joke about Shaner's childhood drawings, reduced lunch, and Michael Bolton's softball prowess. For another episode with Shaner and Six, please sign up for our Patreon, www.patreon.com/beinianpod Dont miss the hilarious Y.F.I. Podcast with Six and Shaner available wherever you download pods. Follow them at: Ian Fidance- @ianimal69 on Twitter Brian Six- @brian6ix on Twitter Ryan Shaner- @_Shaner_Comedy_ on Twitter  

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt Hey, Ian here. Just want to let you know he means giving it, not getting it.

Okay, thanks. Back to the song. It's a wild ride when you're being Ian, being Ian. Life is shit, but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live a lie. Being Ian, being Ian being Ian his ex-wife Christine is a friend of mine and she was in San Diego with us And I message her all the time because I'm a creep. I do.

We talk every now and then because I think she's beautiful. And every time I see her, I'm like, holy shit, Red Cole, you beautiful bitch. I'm not kidding. I'm dead serious. Christine Cole? This is going to sound wild. She and I became friends on Instagram. Friends.

Friends. We became friends. Are we recording? You know, for a guy who isn't Jewish. Yeah, you're pretty annoying. Yeah, you're pretty annoying. Yeah, you're doing it. Woo! Six is on the board.

That's wild, though, because he was, he started this, and I was like, all right, whatever, and you start seeing it pop up at random concerts, and then it just blew the fuck off. Bro, it's the best and what's funny shout out Liquid Death we appreciate ya these are fantastic I like it

because it feels like booze because I don't drink booze I would say that it doesn't feel like booze because it's just water not the drink dumbass the holding you could do that

with anything. You could do that with a fucking can of birch beer, dude. But it's different. This is a tall boy. This looks like a shitty beer. Get an Arizona iced tea, you fucking... My name's not Trayvon, okay? What do you want from me? Yeah. Sorry, Ian.

God damn. You Jewish muppet. What are you, Ian. God damn, you Jewish Muppet. What are you, a Cassidy open mic insult in 2011? Oh, man. Ian. Ian. Ian. Ian.

What should we call it? Dude, liquid death is the best. I love it. I love it. It does. Okay, you're sober. Do you feel that you need something in your hand when you're walking around? I'll say this.

Since I stopped drinking, I've been smoking more than anything in my entire life. Yeah. It's the dumbest thing in the world. Really? With your family history. I know. It is the problem. Wait, what is the family history?

His father had cancer like 16 times. Yeah, three times actually. Really? Yeah. Which is weird as fuck. The trifecta. Which is weird as fuck because everyone's like, oh, my God, your dad beat cancer. I was like, I don't think he beat it at all.

I think it just gave up. My mom's name wasn't cancer. No, he had cancer at the back of that beef and beer. No, he nailed cancer the other day. Nailed cancer, dude. My dad made cancer out of another kid. Turns out he came in cancer. Yo, did you hear Tommy dumped in cancer?

Dude. Yo, he rawed all cancer. Yo, he did it. And that's how he got it.. Yeah, he did it. And that's how he got it. That's how you get it. You fucking didn't put a rubber on when you fucked cancer, dude. You're going to get cancer, dude. Also, I just noticed, I'm like Garth and Wayne's.

I'm like, people just do stuff for money, man. I just don't get it. Oh, wait, why? Because I'm like Nike, like brand new Nike. Remember he's wearing all the Reeboks? Oh, I thought you were Garth because you were effeminate. We couldn't tell if you were gay or not. Well, that too. he's wearing all the Reeboks. Oh, I thought you were regards because you were a feminine. We couldn't tell if you were gay or not. Well, that too.

He's androgynous as fuck. People just do stuff for money. What happens in the doozy's den? This is what this is called. This is called the Delaware doozy's den. I like it. Yeah? What happens in the doozy's den stays in the doozy's den.

Until you fucking record that. It's a sleepover and your parents are at home. Until you upload it. Let's go. All of your sleeping bags have holes in them. You big fruit. You're like, get in. I use sleeping bags like Jewish people

fuck through a hole in a sheet. Yeah, dude. If you put it up right, it looks like Rainbow Brights Pinocchio. You just put it through there. You're like Shalom. Dude, Shalom brand condoms would be hilarious. Shaloms.

When you and Rivka get it in. Instead of the Trojan man, it's just the guy blowing the horn. The commercial's a Jewish man blowing the horn and then negotiating price of the condoms. Like, I don't want to pay $3.99. Whoa. Whoa. I didn't know this CVS had Fort Knox written on the front of it. I'm not paying that for the price of the condom.

Jews, assemble. And then they all come around. It's like a robotic rabbi from fucking Power Rangers. Yeah, dude. We need negotiation power now. With our powers combined, we create a large Ford Windstar. The pterodactyl swooshes in just as a huge nose with his helmet. It's like, whoa.

It's got garlic. Who did this? Who made this? This is racist as hell. No, it's not. It is. Because we're having fun, and it's all with love. We love all the communities that we're surrounded by.

Every one of them. All of them. Is this heavy Jewish over here in Brooklyn? Where you at? Yeah. Yeah? Well, down the street down there is a very Hasidic area. Okay.

And then over here is, like, Puerto Rican families. And then right up the block is, like, the projects. And then up north towards the water is, like, where it's, like, the bougie, like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, all the- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they just lie know, like, Expensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they just lie. Like, I live in a very diverse neighborhood,

but they never come down this way. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I know those people. They suck. Yeah. Yeah, Grand Street is a line of demarcation when, so, like, back in the 90s, this used to all be, like,

rubble and packs of dogs, like, insanity. What are you laughing at? What are you laughing at? What are you laughing at? That's my signal. Packs of dogs. Snake Plissken was mayor. It was a wild

time. Look it up. Were there packs of dogs in Williamsburg? I'll call my landlord right now. Did Lord Humongous run the corner store? Who's Lord Humongous? What?

Oh, that's right. You just watched Pulp Fiction. You just watched Pulp Fiction and I cannot believe it. I can't believe you just saw that now. Not only did I love Pulp Fiction, but I am going to get a tattoo of a tombstone that says Zed's dead on it. What do you think of that?

I think it's super good. Lord Cryon, or what the hell name did you just say? Lord Cryon? What was the guy's name? Humongous. Lord Humongous. Just walk away. What's that from?

That's from fucking Mad Max. Have you not seen Mad Max? No. Original Mad Max? I've seen Fury Road because I love women in cinema. Yeah. What? That was the game. Charlize Theron.

I love women in cinema. I went Fury Road. Jesus Christ. Yes. By Fury Road. Jesus Christ. Yes. By Curie Road. More like it, dude. Hey, man, that's not cool. Yo.

Yeah. They've got that. Shainer. Sorry. Shainer, come on. Come on, man. Sorry, guys. You're going to disrespect me in the Delaware Den? That also sounds like a game.

I invite you down here to be one of these basement buddies. No, dude. Disrespect me in the Delaware Den sounds like a kid. I invite you down here to be one of these basement buddies. Disrespect me in the Delaware Den. Sounds like your Facebook fucking event. Like, disrespect me down here. In the Delaware Den, please. There's just a Facebook event. There's just a sling covered in pine cones and dirt.

Disrespect. This used to be my outside swing, but now I get fucked on in my Delaware den. Oh, don't mind those monkey balls. Kick them away. Yeah, kick them away. Get away. You've got an exercise trampoline with a dildo on the bottom of it.

Let's play popcorn. Somebody fuck my ass. Who's next? What? What the fuck are you talking about? Let's play popcorn You never play popcorn? No, I don't know popcorn

I don't know popcorn reading Wait, what's popcorn reading? It's the same thing as bump Do you ever do bump? What's bump? I did bumps. What are you reading? Oh, yeah. Here we go.

You're reading Mice and Men. It's like, hey, Dan Lenny, pet the dog. Bump. God, can I read? Can I read again? You're punching yourself in the face. What's popcorn? Popcorn is where you sit on a trampoline and everyone jumps around you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and then you do. I didn't know there was a name for that. Yeah, okay, I know that one. Dangerous. Yeah, but if you had a dildo on the bottom of it, then that's how that goes. But wait, on the bottom? Like, if you had it underneath the trampoline

and you hit the bottom, and then you, like, you know, you get your ass poked by a dildo coming out of it. Yeah, but you got a layer of vinyl over it. Yeah, but if you go down, you never bottomed out on a trampoline? Did you have dildos under your ass? I never... The bottom of his trampoline looks like one of those level of Mortal Kombat with the rocks.

Jacket. Ice. It's just a skull with a 12-incher coming out of the eye socket. That's a gay-tality, dude. Finish me. Finish him. He's like, all right. Gay-tality.

I don't know how there was never a mom where it's like, finish on her. It's just like a guy. Come over here on my face. Do you think Scorpion, do you think Sub-Zero comes ice. He's got everything. He touches his ice.

His cum has got to be ice cold. Speaking of cum and ice, the best WID joke of all time was him taking ice cubes out of a cup and go, Look, I'm an Eskimo taking a piss. Okay? And then he tosses ice cubes. I love the WIDchamacallit No yes Of course Sub-Zero comes ice

He's gotta come ice He beat everything is ice With him Somebody saw I remember when I was a kid Somebody drew a comic And I thought it was like Too high brow

For being in elementary school You got mad No it was It was Scorpion Oh this needs more skulls coming out with blood and teeth. No, it was Scorpion at a doctor. It was Scorpion at a doctor and he was talking. This needs more arms coming and grabbing a head going.

Jesus Christ. Mystery of monster life. Shainer's drawings. Oh, dude, I can't even imagine young Shainer drawings. Mystery of Monster That's the name of the show Mystery of Monster Life Dude

Yeah I can't imagine your doodle book As a child They were fucking weird They were weird And I remember at one point To bring back the Power Rangers thing I remember when I was a kid on the playground, you had to play. If kids were playing around, you had to join in with their stupid game,

and Power Rangers was super popular. They would never let you play with their reindeer games? They were just like, do you want to play Power Rangers? I was like, no, because Power Rangers is stupid. They're like, well, we're playing. I'm like, can we play Jurassic Park or something? Can we do something cool? They're like, no, we've got to play Power Rangers is stupid. They're like, ah, well, we're playing, I'm like, can we play like Jurassic Park or something? Can we do something cool?

They're like, no, we gotta play Power Rangers. Hold on, hold on. What, what, what,

what? You can play Power Rangers because you can be a Power Ranger. Yeah. How are you gonna play Jurassic Park? We usually made the fat kid be the T-Rex.

Oh, this wasn't with figurines. No, you just run around on the playground. Cosplaying as children in recess. It's LARPing, dude. How do you LARP as Jurassic Park?

You have a fat kid and you run away from him. What were you? I was probably... This is the guy with the amber cane. You were Newman. Like, will somebody please spin my face? Newman.

Like, will somebody please spin my face? Dilophosaurus is all over the fucking place. But I remember I said, all right, I'll play Power Rangers, but I want to be a bad guy, and I just want to, like, I'll just be the bad guy that you guys fight. I'm like, oh, cool, because nobody ever wants to be the fucking bad guy. So I decided, like, all right, well, I want to be a bad guy but like my monster is that like i'm a fucking artist and whatever i draw happens to the power rangers and they're like all right drew this big rock crushing all of them with blood everywhere it took like 10 minutes i was

just like drew i'm like this is gonna be awesome and i fucking did it and this kid named fucking i think his name was like Andrew Ventura got super pissed off. He was just like oh my god and he showed the fucking lady who was out the fuck out on the playground and I got in trouble and I go to the fucking principal. Principal? You should go to the doctor's

office. What is this? I want to be the bad guy. First instance, there's trouble at home. Yeah. That's my character's name there's trouble at home. Second, that's my character's name, trouble at home.

Look out, it's trouble at home. He's just wearing dirty clothes and his hair's clumped. Oh no, here he comes. His superhero markings are where the dad put the cigarette out on him. Count the fucking rings, dude. Holy shit.

His superpowers. The ability to have his parents not care if he showers for five days. With the amazing ability to tell them that D is acceptable at home. Oh, he's doing his. Oh, he's charging up. He's eating cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner Oh, you're that kid, weren't you? No, no, no

There was a couple reduced lunches, kid Reduced lunches? Reduced lunches It's like where you didn't have to pay for them at all Oh, yeah You just get them reduced Oh Those kids were getting cool ass lunches

Yeah, dude They were getting free pizza and fucking See? See? Even from a young age We learned it's better to be poor in this country than to work. Because you get shit from the government. Right? Is that what you learned?

Is that what you learned? Yeah. I figured that... I mean, I learned, if anything, not to come to school smelling like vinegar. That's what I learned. What? That's what I learned. When these kids came to school reeking, I'm, if anything, not to come to school smelling like vinegar. That's what I learned. What? That's what I learned. When these kids came to school reeking, I'm like, you know what?

I hope they're reeking vinegar. That's like their bad hygiene. Yeah, that's bad hygiene. Yeah. It's bad hygiene. So wait. Hold on. Reduce lunch.

Reduce lunch. So wait. Regulars would- Regs. We call them regs here. Regs. That's what she called the kids. Regs. All right, now.. That's what you call the kids. Regs.

Alright, now, we're going to break out the tables into two groups. We got the regulars and the reduceds. Yeah, reduced. You got regs and deuced. You got regs and deuced. I remember I'd be like, damn, man. Those are like two characters hanging out in the Delaware Den.

One side, dude. They're coming at you, dude. They will, dude. The rags and the deuce. Don't you party with those deuce. Stay away. I swear to God, I will not have my sister dating. My daughter won't date no rags.

I'm dating. Won't date a stinky ass deuce. Stay the fuck away from Maria. Maria's dating a deuce, dude. So wait, wait, wait. Maria's day reduced. So wait, wait, wait. Okay, so reduced lunch. Reduced lunch. Okay, so you're a regular, and you go and you pay for a regular lunch.

And then reduced lunch, you just get it for free. So they get the same thing you get, but for free. For free, yeah. Oh, I thought reduced lunch was they got better food than you got. No, no, no. To, like, make them feel better about being reduced. No, I think they got an extra slice of pizza, you poor piece of shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This will never replace not having a father, but we're certainly going to help try. Yeah, with shitty pizza. Did your uncle fuck you? You get more pepperoni. Here's a nutty buddy. Get out of here.

Here's an extra Choco Taco. He gets reduced lunches. Why? His uncle fucked him. He's like, oh. Is his family poor? No, they're doing all right. No, they're doing pretty good.

They just fucking. His uncle just wore his little ass like a snowshoe. Jesus Christ. He pink socked him. Jesus. You don't know what a pink sock is? It's where it prolapses. Type it up. It's gross. Type it up.

Don't look at it. You're not on a personal search. First of all, get off. What is this search engine you use? Pink socked. No, no, no. We have a second picture. Oh, my God.

That's a reduced if I've ever seen one. No, no, no. Now, Jordy. What? Ew. Oh, my God. Wow. Jordy, Jordy, you got to take the child search thing off so that we can see the real deal.

Okay? You have parental controls. He does. My God. Oh my God. You're yeah. Don't look. I'm telling you. You're going to being.com.

Bing will show you everything. That's actually the slogan for being says before he fucking rips you. He's going to show you everything. There is an urban dictionary. I'm telling you. Pink socks, women. It's telling you. Pink socks, women. It's never good. Pink socks, women.

That was all the other. That was. Yes. Turn that safe search off. I agree. I agree. Pink. Whoa.

Why does it say adult massage? Wait a minute. What is happening here? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's what you're searching. It said adult massage. Wait a minute. What is happening here? Wait a minute. I saw your search engine. It said adult massage. I don't know what a pink sock is, but I know where to find a handjob for $20.

Adult massage. I was like, what? Adult massage. Oh, man. Yeah, right. Put pink socks ass or something. Pink socks. What?

Yo, Bing sucks, dude. Oh, ass or something. Pink socks. What? Yo, Bing sucks, dude. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Pink socks ass. Oh, there it is. There it is. Is that a banana? There it is.

That looks more like a, what do they call it? A rose. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that chick is hot. What? Andy Pink? Yeah.

No, the Tumbex. What? See, I don't like that. That's not good for anyone. I didn, that chick is hot. What? Andy Pink? Yeah. No, the Tumbex. What? See, I don't like that. That's not good for anyone. I didn't say it was good. At no point in time, I was like, you guys are going to have yourself a fine look seat. At no point in time. Let's go back to the adult massage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are you getting the adult massages at? Let's go look at some adult massages. Down in this Delaware dungeon. Yeah. An adult massage. Saigon Mass massage and spa. What is happening, Jordy?

Jordy. Yeah, of course. You don't know. Yeah, whatever, dude. Wow. Try and cover it up. Oh, my God. On this page.

Exhibition. Oh, no, no, no. That's because of the search. I'm just saying, if you click one of those, you're going to have. Jordy's been down in my basement like, I'll look over some footage. And he's just looking up Saigon horror massage. How much time we got in between? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, I'm working down in the basement. Don't come down here. This is my special office. Don't come in here. I have a great guest for you today. Ling Ling. She's amazing. Let me tell you.

You have mucho tension lower. She'll get... Mucho tension lower. That's funny. She doesn't matter. She's bilingual. No, that's just her name. Yeah, mucho tension.

What is she, a lucha libre wrestler? bilingual. That's just her name. Yeah, Mucho Tension. Where does she at? Lucha Libre Wrestler? She's like Rey Mysterio. You ended it Mucho Tension Lower. I've got Mucho Tension Lower, dude. I've got

Mucho Tension, dude. We're at L Lower. Oh, man. I can't wait to get a massage and be like, excuse me. I'm sorry. I have mucho tension. Lower. Just trying to look over the price guide.

Like, where's the lower mucho? Where's the lower part? I have mucho tension. Have you gotten Rub and Tux? I've never gotten one. Yeah, right. I haven't. I haven't.

I've been to one with my buddy on his bachelor party. And you didn't get one. Well, we had to leave because fucking this one dude's girl was blowing him up, and we were like, we got to get the fuck out of here. It was actually not far. Well, it was Chinatown, obviously, in Philly. In Philly. Vine Street.

Yeah. Race Street, Vine. It's Vine Street where all the doors that don't have any numbers on them or anything, bing, bam, boom. Knock, knock. Suck my cock. Yep. That's also on the menu as well.

Yeah. It's way next to Mucho Lower. Mucho Tension. I went one time, me and my buddy, we were partying in Westchester and we got in the car. We're all fucked up on mushrooms and fucking coke classic and fucking drink drink so we're fucking driving up and it's his birthday and i'm like dude come on i'll get you one let's go he was like no i don't want to and that's what i was like i'll get you one come on because i really wanted one that's always how it happens i've never got like you know what i need right

now a hand job so we get there and there are two gals one of them is just so criminally disgusting i mean she is mucho oh mucho ugly she had a lot of mucho lower fat in her jowls and uh the other one was really hot and i was like all right man it's your birthday take the hot one one. He's like, yeah, thanks. And then the- I bet that was the worst hand job he's ever gotten. No, he ended up getting molluscum contagiosum from her. What the hell is that? Yeah, that's the worst hand job he's ever gotten.

What is that? No, it was a pussy job. Oh. Molluscum contagiosum. Jordy, pop it up. It's a skin condition. It's like an STI, kind of, but it's very transferable by touch. So if you have some here and I touch it and then touch here, it moves.

So that's like monkey pox. Yeah, I was going to say that's like monkey pox. Way less molluscum. Molluscum. Chad molluscum. M-O-L-L-U-S-K-U-M Molluscum There it is

Contagiosum Why is there a baby on the fucking Because it's not just an STI It's a skin condition Oh look at that's a dick That's totally a bird right there God damn it And he didn't know what it was

He thought that they were like ingrown hairs, so he tried to shave them off and they went everywhere. And you know what? God saved me that day. Because you got the fat one. To give him the hot one and I took the fat one. Now when you got the fat one, did you get a nice... She's like, I just got AIDS.

Yeah. What did you get? I didn't get this stupid bump bullshit. It was weird when you go in there and she had a bib with a picture of your ass on it. She was going to eat. It was like she had a fucking salad fork. Oh fuck no.

You got that fast. How did you get that? She's got a bib with a pink sock on it. Get ready. You ready to get sock-em-bopped, dude? Well, when we left Westchester, I didn't know that we were going to get two of them, so I only had enough for, like, the bare bones minimum

and not enough for, like, a large tip. Oh, you got an economy? I got the economy deal from Ava's Rent-A-Prizes, and she very much, when we left, was like, next time you pay more money And I was like fair enough Sorry Sorry

There's nothing worse than just seeing a guy Getting a reduced lunch handjob At the fucking At the rock and roll He gets him reduced He's got a reduced Lunch handjob That's what it is His dad was never there Get some reduced. He's got a reduced lunch handjob.

That's what it is. His dad was never there. He had a reduced lunch handjob. Let him go. Give him the reduced one. Reduced lunch. There's a picture of your ass on a bib. All right. Dude, you're giving me a weird show of tension.

I play that when something real fun happens. What is it? It's a record. Yeah. What? This is contraption. It's the king of ska, Desmond Decker. Oh, my God.

The king of ska. It was also me. Yeah. Dude, you love ska, dude. Yeah, you're a huge ska. It was also me. Yeah, dude. You love ska, dude. Yeah, you're a huge ska. You had the king up there, dude. Elvis. Oh, he's the best. Did you see the movie? Now. Okay. I haven't seen it yet either.

I heard it was not great, but I heard one of the major gripes that someone had about it is that they put new music in it. What? When they redid Gatsby. Yeah, they put like. It's like Jay-Z's playing in it for some reason. Apparently there's a scene in the new Elvis where they're playing mumble rap during like a montage.

Which is insane. What? Which is fucking crazy. This is literally about a singer. It's like, why wouldn't you just play this? I'm dead serious. What? That was one of the main gripes was that like they just took you out of it.

It's like playing like metal during Walk the Line. Yeah, no. Like what is the point of it. It's like playing metal during Walk the Line. Yeah, no. What is the point of this? That's exactly what it is. They were trying to modernize it to a point of appealing to a younger crowd. Why? He's Elvis. They're stupid.

He's dead. It's dumb. He's old as shit. It's like, he's dead. Stop playing mumble rap. If you're going to play rumble Rap, it's Rumble Rap. Rumble Rap, dude. Rumble Rap is also a game we played.

No, that's what they say when you went into that fucking wishy-washy. Like, you want Rumble Rap on? Will you get your reduced lunch handjob with Rumble Rap? What is it? Damn, dude. Yeah, they play Yats and Awads. They play like Doja Cat. What? Yeah. I didn't even know it was that dude. Yeah, they play Yats and Awads. They play like Doja Cat. What?

Yeah. I didn't even know it was that bad. Why were they essential to Elvis? The movie? Yeah, why were they essential? They're not. Doja Cat is in Elvis? Yeah.

Come on. I thought it was just like the song during the trailer or something. No, dude. It makes less sense than anything. Doja Cat? Meow. More like me know. Yeah.

It's what? Oh, it's samples. That's even worse. It's sick. Where's this volume at? This is bad. Do I turn the volume on, Mike? Turn it off, dude.

Dogecat, Vegas. volume at? This is bad. Do I turn the volume on my turn it off on the TV? Doja Cat Vegas. This is in the Elvis movie. Oh, this is no good. This is awful. Look at all those likes. That's nuts. Oh, no!

They say you're not naming but that's Doja Cat. It is poetic and all out because he stole from black people and now they're stealing from him. I mean, yeah, that's what goes around and comes around. It's payback time. Wow. You ain't nothing but

how we like. That's what the second one's called. Elvis. It's payback time. Starring Morris Chestnut. It's like, what? What the? Did you see it?

He'll just Elvis play. What is that? I mean, they should have had Elvis played by a black guy. That would have been fucking awesome. Just let the wheels off. Oh, dude. Cheat me, Fox. No, no.

Fuck that Don Cheadle, if anything. Put the cheese in there. Wait, wait, wait. Don Cheadle or Don Cheadle in white Elvis face? Yeah. That would have been great. Well, I don't know why they don't do that more often either. That would be for white face.

White face? White face. Dude, black. Okay. I'm fine with black actors taking over white roles if they're in white face like white chicks.

That would be... If Cheeto played Elvis, like he played his one part, what was it? Which we called the Vegas movie. Ocean's Eleven. The third one, and he plays Randy Rhodes. You ever see that part? I never saw that part. Oh my god. I never saw Ocean's Eleven. Yeah, but the third one, and he plays Randy Rhoads. You ever see that part where he walks in? I never saw that part.

Oh, my God, dude. I never saw Ocean's 13. Look, that part's so fucking funny. He plays Randy Rhoads? It's like a fucking knockoff of Evil Knievel, and he's coming into bitch, but he's doing it just like...

But he doesn't play Randy Rhoads, the guitarist from Ozzy. Not throughout the whole movie, no. Wait, he plays Randy Rhoads, the guitarist from Ozzy? Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, there's another guy named Randy Rhoads. But guitarist from Ozzy? Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, there's another guy named Randy Rhoads. He's doing it just

to, like, fucking fuck with Pacino, but the part's fucking hilarious, and he comes in dressed like Evel Knievel. Don Cheadle. Don Cheadle. Randy Rhoads? I don't know if that's a name. Just put Don Cheadle, like, Ocean's 13. Oh, is this going to show up on the

podcast? Yeah, there it is. You can put this stuff on the green screen. Wait a minute. That'd be cool. Badger, my mummy. But he's not. He's just a. Yes, a dollar.

Whoa. Here he comes, dude. That's who should have played Elvis. This is great. He's already there I would never be opposed to any Black actor being in whiteface Ever I love it.

All right. Okay. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, he was already kind of happy. I've never seen an Oceans movie. Really? Yeah.

Man. What? I've never seen all the movies that you guys love. That's wild. But I've seen that a million times. We know you've seen Ghostbusters a bunch of times. What did you think of the new one? I just saw that one like a couple months ago.

I loved it. You loved Afterlife? I cried. Were you so emotional at the end? So emotional in the beginning, the middle, the end. Oh my god. When she's in the basement, the little light shows her that she meant something to him the whole time. Oh god. When Egon shows up the end, oh, God.

In the beginning when he passes, oh, God. I would love that Egon shows up and just calls everyone stupid for fucking trying to take all the Ghostbusters for as long as it is. You really don't like it? No, no, no. I just think if Spangler showed up and he's like, you know, you guys should have stopped while we fucking, you know, no one appreciated

us from the beginning when we tried to kill that marshmallow man and then got sued five years later by every county in New York. That was. No one appreciates us. That was the premise. Yeah, I know. So that's. So you want Egon to come back to life to just repeat what he said in Ghostbusters 2?

Yeah. Yeah. And he's still pissed off. If he would have been a malevolent ghost, that would have been a bad ghost. But why would you make a beloved character malevolent? Because that's the twist, Ian. The twist is that you got trouble at home. That's why.

What he got to be a bad ghost is superhero powers. That's why you get reduced lunches. I have a ghost uncle. Ian should have played. Dude, you should have asked the producers of that movie. Here's the one part you're missing in this remake. And it's the gum kid. The suck off ghost?

No, it's the gum kid. Who's the gum kid? They're cooking in the beginning where he's like star. He's like, I'm sorry. Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like. I didn't know I was going to get electric shocks.

You can keep the five bucks. You can keep the five bucks, pal. I'm out of here. I love that kid. That guy did rule. That guy's great. And it sets up the fact that Peter Venkman is basically a rapist. He's trying to fuck everyone up.

He's scientist Pepe Le Pew in that whole movie. That'd be funny if she was like, I see a wavy line. It's just a picture of his dick. Like, maybe. It's his vein. It's his vein. He's like, maybe. It's a picture of his dick.

You're no fluke. I'll tell you that much. You're no fluke. You know, Jennifer, a lot of people are going to be jealous. You're going to scare a lot of people. People, you're going to be bad with resentment your whole life. It's just so many cocks. It's a crudely drawn picture of her blowing at me.

It's just a stick figure. A figure eight? Actually. Actually. Well. It's him behind her dog. He's all, it says, lick, lick. And he's like, ah.

It's just a stick figure shooting Paper ball sack shit All over the place Like ah fuck It's like how many times Did you do that Bankman It's like look I'm just trying to connect With the kids here Dude

That's wild though You've seen Ghostbusters A million times Yes But you've never You just saw Pulp Fiction Yes So wait did you

Have you seen Reservoir Dogs No Was that the first Tarantino movie You've ever seen I've seen Tarantino before. Django? I've seen, no.

From Dusk to Dawn. There you go. That's Robert Rodriguez. That's not Tarantino. He's in it. Tarantino's in it. He didn't direct that, though. Oh, I saw Desperado.

That's Robert Rodriguez. That's also Robert Rodriguez. Just anything. That's always going to be. You have no idea what you're talking about. I've only seen Robert Rodriguez. You're just like, Quinn Tarantino there. What's another Tarantino movie I've seen?

Jackie Brown. Jackie Brown. No. Kill Bill. Some of it. Kill Bill too. Nope. Planet Terror.

Oh. Oh, Planet Terror. That was Robert Rodriguez. The way you said it was Planet Terror. You were trying to say Planetarium, but you quit halfway through. Did you see Death Proof? No. That's Robert Rodriguez.

No, Planet Terror is Robert Rodriguez. Death Proof is Quentin Tarantino. Hateful Eight? Nope. So you have seen... The Glorious Bastards. There you go. That wasn't...

Oh, that was... No, that was Tarantino. Was that Tarantino? Yeah. Okay. Eli Rawls is in it. Eli Rawls is in it. And fell asleep.

Oh, so you didn't see it. No. Did you ever see Major League Two? Yes. Okay. I'm sorry, Jared. Eli Rawls is in it. I saw the beginning. Eli Rawls is in it. And fell asleep. Oh, so you didn't see it. No. Did you ever see Major League Two? Yes. Yes. I love Major League. It's just a good movie. I love Major League Two.

It's just a good movie. Oh, yeah. It's just a good movie. Yeah. I love it. I hated it. I've seen Rob Schneider in The Animal. There you go.

I've seen Deuce Bigelow 1 and 2. What's your favorite obscure Rob Schneider movie? I've seen every Happy Madison film. What's your favorite obscure? I've seen Adam Sandlerelow 1 and 2. What's your favorite obscure Rob Schneider movie? I've seen every Happy Madison film. I've seen Adam Sandler and the Cobbler twice. Why are you opening a new pack when we already have a pack? Well, you're right. You didn't see All of Inglorious? No.

You don't know the Bear Jew then? I know the Bear Jew. The Bear Jew was supposed to be Adam Sandler. And he passed on it to do grown-ups. Really? I swear to God. He wrote that part for Sandler. I was like, dude, he would have ruled.

Sandler is the Bear Jew? I swear to God. He was supposed to be the Bear Jew. Yeah, I was going to say. He's like, that's not very nice, Nazi. You're going to get it, Adolf. I think it would have been better to cast Rob Schneider. I stole his SS suit from Frank.

What we're going to do is we're going to go to Hitler's house and say, pull on fires. That was the worst Sandler and Breler I've ever heard in my life. He called that Jew poop. Sandler a Nazi would have been better. Sandler as a Nazi would have been the best. Holy shit,

he called the Jew poop. Some say Zyklon B is better. Oh. And he's like, get out of that concentration camp, Penguin. Oh, I see what's going on. That's extermination of a whole entire race, brother. I dare you to wipe them out. That's Velcro.

I thought it was just ripping fabric. I thought it was crunchy. I was like, what is happening down here? I was like, what is on the other side of this pillow? That's fucking Jordy's fucking cum socks. Dude, this one time, my buddy Paul, Hello, dude. That's for Delaware State. Fucking Jordy's fucking cum socks. I'm on the massage. Dude, this one time, my buddy Paul, I went over his house, and he had one of his cum rags on the floor.

Dude, that is so crazy. Did you have a cat rag, or did you do paper towels? No, no, no. I just mouth. What? Commercial break. Liquid death. Yeah, that's what they call your cum i was giving myself a little bit of liquid

it's carbonated i don't know what's that sparkling sparkling i got something wrong was it a noticeable one though oh. Dude, it was standing up. Ew. It was like a parking cone? It was in a triangle. I was like, what is that? He's like, oh, that's my cat rag. He was in Paris. Cat rag? Were you talking to him in an auto body shop? Dude, it was fucking crazy.

The craziest part is his mom did his laundry and washed the cat rags. Ew. Oh, come on. That's a crazy relationship to have with your Ew. That's a crazy relationship to have with your parents. That's a disgusting relationship to have. That's so nuts. That's gross. I don't condone that here on B and Ian. No cat tracks

allowed. No cat tracks allowed in the Delaware den. No. I was going to say, get that on a nice wooden panel with Latin. No cat tracks allowed. No cat tracks allowed. Oh put it on my green screen. No catchphrase allowed. Oh, dude, you know what would be sick?

To get a neon thing that says, like, the Delaware doozy den. There you go. Right? What? Yes, it would be very, very great. Because when you're down in the Delaware den, you're one of Ian's basement buddies. Now, let's share a blanket, turn the lights off, and see where our hands go. Now let's see who's got the weakest throat down here.

Now let's have a dick measuring contest with our throats. When you're down here in the dungeon with Ian, I want to find out who's the best kisser. It's not a dungeon. It's a dungeon. It's not a dungeon. This is a cool place to hang out. That's exactly what someone with a dungeon would say. That's exactly what they would say. This is a rape shack. This is a cool place to hang out. That's exactly what someone with a dungeon would say. That's exactly what they would say.

This isn't a rape shack. This is pretty neat. This is, tell me this isn't cool. I like it. It's great. I like it. I like it too. I like the wood panel.

I didn't say that it's bad. I said this is definitely somewhere where you take. You called it a dungeon. I'm just saying this is definitely. I didn't like it. I know. You're very mad and that's OK.

Why did you use the whole that's the reduced wall. I know. What are you going to put in there, dude? Fuck that. Well, look, man, you know what? Look, it's not about that anyway. She was sober for a little while.

What's that like? Oh, my God. Tell us about it. It's dumb, dude. What is? Sobriety. Oh, yeah. No, it's not sober for a little while. What's that like? Oh, my God. Tell us about it. It's dumb, dude. What is? Sobriety. Oh, yeah. No, it's not.

It's great. Yeah? What's your favorite part about sobriety, Ian? That every day's a gift that you get to unwrap. That's why they call it the present. Oh, my God. I love drinking. Does anybody have any beer here?

Ian's going to make me relapse right now, dude. I will drink a fucking fifth right now to forget that came out of your mouth. Well, save it for the Patreon, buddy. I die. That's a good patch. You get a death on a patch. Dude, if you get a death on a Patreon, that is your top tier. Look at that.

That's how you get it. Sign up, Patreon pals. Patreon.com slash beanie in pod to see if Shainer dies. To see if he gets a Bud Dwyer with Budweiser. And none of us will be none the Budweiser. That sounds like something my dad would say. Right as he gets pulled over for his seventh DUI, he's like, I was not the Budweiser. That didn't get me out of it.

I'm sorry. I've been saving that for a while. Same slits, different day. What are you, my old granddad? Get out of my face. I'm sorry. Yeah, these kids are due back. These kids are due back. These kids are due back.

And her mom's mad at me. That's funny that, do you know that Ann Hesch died the same way he got his second DUI in one week? Yeah, it's kind of crazy. She drove him to a house.

Your dad drove him to a house? No, I did. No, he did. You did. I did. The old Billy Joel. That was my second DUI. You know when Billy Joel drove into that house in Long Island, he blamed it on 9-11?

Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. He was like, I've just been so depressed since 9-11. I was thinking about 9-11 and I lost track of where I was. What a true patriot. I think you should have used it.

I should have. The old 9-11 defense. Sorry. It really hit Spring City, Pennsylvania. I think you should have used I should have The old 9-11 defense Sorry In 2019 It really hits Spring City It really hits Spring City, Pennsylvania We're getting crushed out here Let me tell you Building 7 stuck with me, okay

You know, we could have been Shawshank Or where was it? Shwanksville? Shwanksville Shawshank What the fuck? Get busy living or get busy. I just found out that was Morgan Freeman's son in the picture.

They arrested picture of him when they show the file. When he got arrested. I thought you meant the guy who jumped out of the building. No, no. Falling man. Yeah. I thought it was Morgan Freeman. Yeah, dude.

He sucked. I was like, whoa. Oh, dude, we should get a neon sign of Falling Man, and then the lights are falling. Oh, my God. And then underneath it is like Olympic guys with 10, 9. Oh, that thing that says sploosh right where his body is. Dude, I remember all the memes that came with that picture.

The funniest one I saw ever was. Hulk Hogan? No, they photoshopped in these old-timey firemen holding the thing at the bottom. Oh, yeah, dude. With the falling makeup. Oh, that's hilarious. You're like, you're going to get him. Oh, I love that.

I love the, look up 9-11 meme Hulk Hogan. It's the best. Oh, wait. Oh, what are you scared? 9-11 meme Hulk Hogan. Dude, his search is going to be crazy. Asian massage. 9-11 meme.

Saigon eye contact or whatever it is. Saigon eye contact. Saigon eye contact. That's the name of the episode Oh dude I went down Yeah yeah yeah Go to the one all the way to the left

I went downtown For a little Saigon eye contact Up left I see it He's kicking the building Yeah Oh he's got a chair He's got a chair

Dude Look at his face In the bottom Dude I remember There was one also There was a gif And this was like I want to say Back when back when GIFs were brand fucking new.

You got to pop that on the green screen. It was Will Smith from Fresh Prince dancing, but dancing as the towers come down. Like he's crushing it all the way down. Dude, that one's the best there. It just says, I did 9-11. I think there's a lot of wrestling. Blaming 9-11 on Hulk Hogan is the best thing in the world. That's the best conspiracy.

Let's get Alex Jones on the line. That's fantastic. Just finding out Hulk Hogan was an inside man on 9-11. That would be the best. There it is. Yeah. Damn. So you drove a car into a house.

I did. I went to it. See, Billy Joel, my mind wasn't right. I wasn't focused. I went to a deep, deep depression after 9-11. Damn, dude. A mental. I was kind of in a mental.

Yeah. Yeah. How fucked up was he when he did? I mean, obviously he was shit face, but did they ever get a count on it? They get numbers. They let him. He said, I can't believe I got another accident. He was just out to get pizza.

Yeah. Yeah. And he got caught in a 9-11 thing. It was what? That's what he calls drunk driving. He's like, oh, you fucking bitch. I'm going to go get a slice. He's wasted.

I'm wrapped up like a deuce. Another roller in the night. I'm fucked up. Billy, we got to be honest. You're acting less like a piano man and acting like a piano boy. Oh, man. Where was that at? Was that in Long Island?

I mean, this certainly isn't a scene from an Italian restaurant, I'll tell you that much. Man. I bet he said he's like, it must have been a stranger. Must have been a stranger. Were you in a rush to go meet an uptown girl. That's it. Or are you getting drunk at Zanzibar? I'm telling you, these Catholic girls start much too late.

I'm sorry I was driving around. Sorry, I'm tired. I've been up driving all night from here on down. Damn, E-News quipped, great piano player, lousy motorist. Damn, E-News for the win, dude. Got him. Oh, my God. Lousy motorist. Damn. E-news for the wind. Got him. Lousy motorist. Damn.

E-news. Dude, Jesus. Oh, my God. Third car in two years. Damn. Billy Joel, man. That was his face going in. He's like, not allowed.

Yo, I saw him at Citizens Bank Park 2014. He comes out and... Drives off the station. Drives right into the wake. Third DUI. Drives right into the dugout. It's a row home. He took Jason Wirt out.

He comes out, weighs the sarcasm, just really thinking about 9-11. Has he ever showed up? Wait, wait, finish this story. Finish this story, though. No, I thought it was great. He comes out and he goes, hey, everybody, I haven't really given you much to sing to in the past 25 years, so I'm just going to play the hits. And then he just went into a fucking song.

Doesn't he have just the hits? What's a new Billy Joel song? He hasn't written a new song. Exactly. So instead of being like, here's a new one and everyone being like, eh, he's like, I'm just going to do piano, man. No one would give a fuck.

If I saw Billy Joel, he's like, I got a new thing. I'm like, no, you don't. You know why he does Madison Square Garden so much, so many times? Why?

Because he owes so much money to his bandmates because he fucked them out of all their money. No shit. He owes so much money that he has to keep playing Madison Square Garden

to make money. Damn, dude. He's in debt to his band. What are they going to do? Break his knees? Imagine Billy Joel's backup band coming from like so. Fuck you. I'm not paying you shit, dickhead.

That would be the worst, dude. Getting your ass beat by a saxophone player? Fuck that. You got a curly mullet and a denim shirt with the sleeves cut off. That's like getting your ass kicked by the bassist of Earth, Wind, and Fire. That's like Clarence Clements coming for the ball.

Just getting your ass beat by a smiley guy? Fuck that, dude. That would suck. Man. That's suck. Man. That's like Clarence Clement just whooping the boss's ass. I think, you know what would be great to find out? Because we're never going to know. Like, if you found out Kenny G was, like, a really terrible, like, abusive drunk rapist. Yeah, something really terrible.

That would be fucking awesome. Kenny G, Doc, was intense, dude. Did you watch it? No. You were one of the original investors in Starbucks? Kenny G? I swear to God, dude. Shut up.

He doesn't give a fuck. He laughs at it. He goes, I know what people think. I laugh my way to the fucking bank. Dude, Kenny G. He's like, I'm stacking the Gs, dude. That dude is fucking paid. Damn, dude.

Kenny G. Yeah. Ken G, dude. That's who I call him at home. Kenneth G. Yeah. Ken G, dude. That's who I call him at home. Kenneth G? Kenny. He's a Kenny on the stage. Ken in the sheets.

I just missed that riff. Can we repeat? I was talking about Kenny G being at home. He's nuts. Dude, you know he wrecks ass, too. He's like on Kenny G's spot. Yeah, dude. He comes home and beats the shit out of people.

Right back in it. Shoves a clarinet in your pussy and just blows hard. Wait, what does he play? He plays clarinet? Right in the pussy. Or he plays the jazz? It's jazz. It's clarinet.

It's clarinet, right? I think it's clarinet. I'm pretty sure it's clarinet. Yeah. All right. I mean. I never knew what he played. He plays a fucking dumb trumpet or something like that.

You know who was cool? Michael Bolton. And what was great about him? Hell of a softball player. What are you laughing at? Hell of a softball player, too. What are you laughing at? What's so funny about that? Bolt would fuck you up.

Yeah. He wouldn't go with the Bolt? He wouldn't fucking kill you. Huh? He wouldn't go with the Bolt? Michael Bolton. He was. I'm not just talking about a guy from Office. He used to have a softball instructional video. you up. Yeah, you want to go with the Bolt? Huh? You want to go with the Bolt? Michael Bolt. He was. I'm not just talking about the guy from Office Space. He used to have a softball instructional video.

Nah. Michael Bolt, dude. Look it up. I swear to God. Michael Bolton was the man and I'll take him over Kenny fucking G stands for getting anything because of him and the Lonely Island.

Remember that song? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They redid. Or they did one with him. Once he goes, he goes, here comes a good part. And then he sings about the Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, dude, look at him. Damn, dude, he looks like he's about to sell heroin to children. Yeah, he's the man.

Look at him. He's like, fuck you, dude. I'm the bull. Dude, this is great. What is this ad? I don't like this. VR bullshit. VR bullshit.

Oh, is fucking Tommy and Chris here? Slow pitch. Whoa. Michael Bolton's playing slow pitch? Yeah, he's a big softball guy. Really? Yeah. We should be softball guys.

What? Look at this. Look at this. Oh, wait. Go on. Jerry, don't mess with me, Melly. The kid died. Johnny, the kid died.

The Ripper. Richie, the Ripper Vaughn. Yeah, they have to. I hope they all have nicknames. New Ball. New Ball Higgins. What up, y'all? It's New Ball Higgins.

New Ball Higgins. Dirk Blaster Andro. Dirk Blaster. And pitching Gary Big Stick Whitefield Damn Playing center Tim No Relation Bolton

Done free agent playing Go to hell They trade him The Sarge Shock Whoa Who's this guy? Diamond, who else is here? Mark, I lost my kids in a custody battle.

Rocket Ron Pernell. I like Rocket. Flip him again. Dude, that guy rules. Wow. That's what he's talking about. He looks like Harry Schreier. Schreier.

Schreier. Killer Kim Turner. That's because she had an abortion. Scatstition, are you autistic, bitch? Get out of here. Flip not, flip him again, Mize. That's not original. Michael the Bomber Bolton.

Damn, dude. Wow. The Unabomber Bolton, dude. Oh, my God. Ozzie Smith. Wait, what? Big name for Ozzie. Jeff Bagwell.

What? It's like a fucking rocking jock. They're going to get rocked by these dudes. Bip Roberts. Yeah, dude. Old Bip, flip him. Royce Clayton. He's a beast. Jeff Fasero.

Yeah, these are all fucking... What the fuck? Bobby Bonds. That's Barry's fucking retarded brother. No, it's his father, you moron. Brett Saberhagen. I don't know. It's his retarded brother. It's his father, you moron. Brett Saberhagen. Brett Saberhagen. I don't know. I don't know. It's his retarded brother.

It's his father. Hey, Murray. Yeah. He wants to party all the time. Ken Griffey Jr. What? Dude, I hope. I didn't know this existed.

Great Jeffries, dude. What? Whoa. And they just play each other? Yeah, dude, they do. Guys. Mike Piazza. This makes me, we should join a softball. Oh! What?

What if we had a podcast softball league? Damn, dude, that's, you'd play with fire. That would be awesome. Frank Thomas. Wouldn't that be fun? The Big Hurt, dude. The Big Hurt. We could play across the street at the field by my house.

Bobby Bonilla, still getting paid by the Mets That's the best deal ever Rod Beck I think he should be on the other team Rod the wife beater back That guy looks how sick sounds Oh look Barry Bonds The retarded brother

Dude oh my god Softball league What position would you play I don't know Barry Bonds. Yes. The retarded brother. Dude. Oh, my God. Softball league. What position would you play? I don't know. Shortstop. Always shortstop. Shortstop. Shortstop.

You'd play shortstop. Yeah, I would. I always play shortstop. I'll be left field. You'll be fucking second left field because they have four outfielders in softball. Why do they have four? Because they're lazy as shit, dude. What are you talking about?

I'd like to play third base. All right. What's that? Third base. Finger. Come on. Stay on top of it, dude. What a Bobby Barnes remark to that.

Come on. I know it's called the basement, but we're not about the base. What? Why do you flip him again? Flip him again. That dude's dumb nickname. What would your softball nickname be? Ryan smash a child with a rock in the face shainer.

Ian drowned in the tub finance. Coming out. What would your nickname be? I don't know. Brian congenital birth defect six. Up to the play right now, he's got a head the size of a fucking fish tank over here. Gonna swing away yet again. Two on, two out.

Ryan elephantitis of the nutsack shaner. Ryan, Lord, take me now, shaner. Ryan, three months to live. They call him terminal velocity, not only because that's how fast the ball goes, but he's only got three months. Very bad leukemia, this guy. Ryan, leukemia.

Ryan Shaner. They call him killer chemo out on the fucking... Killer chemes. Out on the mound. Killer Keems. Killer Keem coming out there. That would be a sick name. We could say his bat is radioactive, like the chemo coursing through his body.

And coming to the field, MRI 6. MRI 6. Wait, did they actually show them playing? Yeah, it's probably not good. Dude, I don't know. I don't know. I hope Bolton takes one to the fucking head. He's never hurt anybody.

It just would be funny. Oh, this is just a montage. They are just ripping them. Piazza going to fucking lay the door. I would have played sports so bad right now. Oh, nice air dip shit. Oh, my God. Yeah, their base is in active position, though, Ian.

Oh, God. Gravy with the bomb. Gravy gone. God damn it. Dude, all right. He's a hitting coach for USA this year. Oh, look, Jordy. It's one of your Saigon wars.

Sorry, I slipped into this. I got massage bids. All right, let's call it. Let's call it. Coming to the pitch here, Jordan, the Saigon whore. Jordy, I've lost everything in a custody battle. Jordy, I was told I care more about hookers than I do my own flesh and blood. Coming up to bat.

Jordy, pack your shit and leave. Coming up. A dole massage. A dole massage. A dole massage. Saigon icon. The Saigon icon. That's it.

All right, that's a job. That's a job. Fuck me. Plug plugs. Okay, plug whatever you want. I don't care. God damn it. You can check us out on the YFI podcast,

at YFI podcast on Twitter and on YouTube. You can see me on Instagram at ShaderCobbity, S-H-A-N-E-R-C-O-B-B-E-D-Y. And on... Go ahead. That's it. You've kind of ruined the plus. When's this coming out, Ian?

Yeah, when is this coming out? Oh, God. I said we have it coming out this week. Oh, God, he said. Next week. Next week. Next week. Yeah.

I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. We just adjusted the schedule for you six. We're bad at folks. Why not? This should come out next week. It should come out. It should come out tomorrow.

Thank you. Why isn't it coming out tomorrow? Why is it? Are you going to run? Is this guy too busy getting his dick rocked off by a fucking Asian hooker? Yeah. He's too busy getting his dick rocked off by a fucking Asian hooker. Yeah. He's too busy getting drowned in oils. Dude, he looked at his scheduling.

I almost had this out. Sorry, the hard drive got ruined. There was more oils in it. Sorry, sorry. I have to come in a fucking chick's face. I can't get it out. This Wednesday, September 22nd to the 24th. Oh, man, I want to be there.

City comedy, Austin, Texas, with the great David Tell. I'm doing a secret show Tuesday in Austin that's going to be fucking wild. Austin, Massachusetts. I am with Shane at Phoenix Stand-Up Live, and then I'm headlining Stand-Up Live October 2nd. Nice. And then I'm doing Bray Improv, San Jose Improv, Philly Punchline, IanFightDance.com, iAnimal69, Patreon.com, slash Beanie and Pod.

I love you. I thank you. You guys are the fucking best. Thank you for coming up. Let's go eat some sandwiches. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good.