Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Ep122: Cat's Out The Bag W/ Tom Cassidy, Alex Pavone, & Cousin Sheri

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

As always , Thanks for listening! Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here ! : https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast Support the show and get cell service for just 15 bucks a month. Head to https://www.mintmobile.com/SKA  Support the show and get your 1st month of BlueChew for free. Use code SKA at https://www.bluechew.com Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ See Jordan Live! : https://punchup.live/jordanjensen WATCH JORDAN’S SPECIAL HERE : https://youtu.be/MoBkkw66NWY?si=ffcJnn9HuluWrW4l @jordanjensenlolstop  Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! : https://punchup.live/ianfidance IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 Follow Tom Cassidy Here : https://www.instagram.com/cassidycomedy/ Tom Cassidy: Life After Funny | Full Special : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y83_4ma7FiQ&t=989s   @TomCassidy  Follow Alex Pavone Here : https://www.instagram.com/mralexpavone/ Cat Daddy & The Pizza Squirrel : https://www.instagram.com/catdaddyandthepizzasquirrel/  @CatDaddyandthePizzaSquirrel  Follow Cousin Sheri Here : https://www.instagram.com/sheribaby11/   @Bradaintfunny  Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/ 

Hey everybody, we're doing a live podcast, December 30th, Rhode Island, Providence, Comedy Connection and the next night, December 31st, shows with me and a special guest. You know who it is. Can't really promote it because she's got gigs in that area. So we just got to do this kind of song and dance. But two shows, new year's Eve. It's my birthday, December 31st. Come hang, come celebrate the new years with us.

It's going to be a blast. Punchup.live slash Ian Fy dance for tickets and also Denver comedy works, December 5th through 7th, December 8th, Hollywood improv. The next weekend I'm going to be in Baltimore and January to April I'm on the road every weekend so come out every set's different the meet and greets are a fucking blast. We're having fun come see what it's all about and go see Jordan punch up dot live slash Jordan Jensen she's blowing she's the best we love her go see her live and thanks for digging the show we really appreciate you you guys. Enjoy the episode. Bye bye. ["Wild Ride"] no matter what now you know he likes it in the butt so wild ride when you're being Ian

being Ian life is shit but you're positive let's find out what it's like to live a life being Ian being Ian with Jordan Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Ian Oh, there's little Glenn with Aunt Sherry. So you saved his life, huh? He was about to hang himself. Talk about that on the pod yet. No, this happened two days ago. It was terrifying. Yeah. Are we recording? Oh, yeah. OK, because I was like, all right.

Well, don't leave me. OK, leave me. OK, leave me. Welcome back to another episode of B&E with Jordan. Jordan is on the road. We miss our queen, but we have our wonderful princess here. Sherry, cousin Sherry in the house. How you doing? What's up, cousin Ian? Yeah, I just I love all your fans. Oh, yeah, they're real nice, huh? Yeah, I love them so much.

They always acknowledge me, too. So we're coming out to shows to really appreciate it. We sold out Pittsburgh improv and got a bunch coming up punch up dot live slash Ian finance for all my dates. Denver comedy works. Yes, yes, yes. Hollywood improv. We're doing a live podcast Rhode Island December 30th and the next time me and a special jest are doing stand up for New Year's Eve. Yeah. And maybe Glenn will be there. And we have two two wonderful guests today. Also shout out Highland Throwbacks, Cleveland gave me this hat grouch. Oh, I love it. Taz. This Metallica shirt. Fuck yeah. Really great throwbacks and vintage. Check them out. Nice.

We got two guests on the show today and I couldn't be happier. Hey, good to be here. I also have patreon.com slash beauty and bod for all. I'm sorry. Right when you cut to me, your cat's asshole went in my face. I know. That's how you know he's my son. Did you train him to do that? Face down, ass up.

I trained him. It's sore! Easy! Glen! Dude, he got me putting the nipple. Glen! He loves that red light. He loves it.

He loves that. It's nice to be on Cat Jackass. Christ, those are shit. We got a new one. Do not fucking stunt me't like pain. There's a difference. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They have balls be careful He's gonna cut my jugular eyes, it's sharp He doesn't like cats, this guy doesn't like cats No I love cats, but they're sharp

I don't like pain, there's a difference Oh, oh mama Glenn, don't put it anywhere near my jugular Bro, he's gonna slice me up Are you gay? No, I'm straight as hell Yeah No, cause like, you're a whole bunch

I'm a gay, I don't know. No, no, I'm flexible. My Gator is bad. I'm sorry. Oh, no. You get that on camera. OK. Glenn, is she OK?

That was awesome. Yeah, he's tough. Oh, Jesus Christ. OK. I know. OK. This has to end. OK.

Just wait to draw blood. Is that what it was? I was covering my throat. I didn't need. I need a neck guard for this podcast. For Christ's sake. It's like nice place. This has to end. You just wait it to draw blood? Is that what it was? I was covering my throat. I need a neck guard for this podcast for Christ's sake. You guys do things a little different around here, huh? Jesus Christ.

Welcome to the Delaware Dead, bitch! Holy shit. Nail's all cracked out looking for the fucking lasers. Look at Len. She's breathing all heavy. Aw, but she's okay. He'll be fine. It's a he, she's breathing all heavy. Oh, but she's OK. He'll be fine. It's a hey, son of a bitch. I keep forgetting he is pretty, though, isn't he? Yeah. Oh, gorgeous cat.

Gorgeous cat. Sharp. He's getting so big. I remember he was so good. His shots yet. I know. Yeah, he's all vaccinated and everything, you know. Yeah, he's getting a little big because you keep feeding them wet food every single day. I came home and I was like, I think he's fat. Yeah. Yeah. You've been taking care of them for two weeks and I feed them.

I feed them each two packets a day, like two soft. What? No. What's the what? So I give them one when I come in. What's this for? Little things to dry. And then you give them two packs of wet No wonder my little guys looking hefty Nice and bralic, you know, all right

Let me tell you Glenn and Sherry's reign of terror Back to being bulimic and anorexic like your father. Come babysit me. I'm ready to rock. Having fun. Well our guests today are

Good to be here. The wonderful the best, one of my oldest friends Alex Pavone. This guy put on a left blinker. He went right, baby. Ah, Cat Daddy Cassidy. Good to be here. It's been a while.

Episode three, I believe. Yeah, that's right. But we're back, baby. What episode's this, buddy? 2015, I believe. Cassidy was one of the first guests when we were taping upstairs before we had the studio. Were there cats then? Were cats attacking you off the top? There was one of the first guests when we were taping upstairs. Before we had the studio.

Were there cats then? Were cats attacking you off the top? There was one cat, but he was hiding. 24 girlfriends ago. Oh, burn. Burn the lasers. Oh, stop, stop. Stop doing this.

You're gonna blind me. Are you the cat daddy? You had it right in my fucking eyeball. I will kick your fucking head. I will kick your fucking head. I will kick your fucking head. I will kick your fucking cat. I will. Well then don't do it. Murder you.

Don't kick the cat. Don't kick the cat. Please. For the love of God. Yeah, don't kick the cat. He already scratched me. Are you really cat daddy, Tom Cat Daddy? That's awesome.

Yeah, he's a cat daddy and he don't like cats. Me and Alex have a podcast called Cat Daddy and the Pizza Squirrel. It's a sports radio call in podcast. Oh, I love that. I love that name. Every Tuesday night at 8 p.m. live on YouTube. Nice. Yeah, check it out guys.

It's a podcast called Cat Daddy and the Pizza Squirrel. It's a sports radio call in podcast. Oh, I love that. I sports radio call in that every day at 8 p.m. live on YouTube. Nice. Yeah, check it out, guys. It's very fun. You guys crack the animal for the office. We really do. And two pecks of. Well, you know, I know that he's off it. I gave him yesterday and right now he's exactly his own withdrawal from. Bro, he is off it. I gave it to him yesterday and right now he's feeding it. Exactly, he's on withdrawal from...

Bro, he is absolutely on one. Holy shit, dude. Bro, can I have one? I just, you know, every once in a while I need a smoke. Go for it. If you don't mind. Sorry. Thank you. I love the way you do that, bro. Thank you, buddy. Jesus Christ, dude. It's a fucking party. Now that mom's not home!

Hahaha! Holy shit, dude. Oh, Gorg. Now that mom's not home Holy shit, dude, oh No, oh, sorry We've been on our ass right down here Yeah, there's there's one. Oh my sorry about that. It's a fucking It's all good. Oh Sherry I got you a gift for watching Glenn.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I thought the gift was me on the podcast. Thank you. No. Which I wasn't expecting, but I appreciate it. Thank you. I love the promotion. That's so funny. Oh, shit. So I got you two things ready. And I asked you today just to check but yes, this is from One of my all-time favorite bands and they sent me one of these and I would like to give it to you

It's directly from the band. It's an MXP X hoodie MXP X shout out MXP X I love them. I love them and plays them in my car whenever we're in the car all the time and They're awesome. Yes. It's my Spotify, too. And there's there's what's that? What are they like? Like old school punk, like 90s, though. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And there have been a lot of attacks going on in the city. Yeah. There was a serial killer out in New York yesterday or the day before. Are you about to come out?

Stabbed a construction worker and they haven't found him yet. Oh no. Bill. Sounds like my kind of guy. Jesus Christ. But the guy stabbed a construction worker on the West Side, went to the East Side, killed a fisherman and then killed another woman. I was mentally ill. We got to protect ourselves. The police for like 45 minutes. Nobody caught

him. It was crazy. And you're out late at night. You need to protect yourself. So I got some mace in Cleveland to give to you. And it's in a pink case. Oh, I love that. I ordered mace. I have four bottles of it and they couldn't give me in a pink case because they were out of it. Well, there you go. I got a pink case. I love you. Nothing says dyke and pink mace. Yeah.

Let me eat your pussy. Yeah. And Ethan, I got you one. I got Jordan one and I got Dave a stun gun since it happened in this neighborhood. Oh, that's great. Oh, shit. How long was this sale? But I have to have someone ship them because you're only allowed to bring one mace and one, uh, stun gun and a checked luggage.

And I've had some issues. Central booking Ian over here. My boy got central booking experience now. How long did this last for? This killing spree Ian. All day, right? It happened at eight 30 in the morning and they caught him later in the day. Yeah. I just went up to a construction worker, stabbed him in the stomach.

Crazy guy. He was a construction worker. They're bad ass. He was walking across mid across the town. Yesterday, covered in blood, holding two knives and nobody did anything. Yeah. Yeah. So yesterday, New Yorkers mind their business. Crazy, right? We mind our business. Yeah. Yeah. This was yesterday. New Yorkers mind their business, bro. Crazy, right? We mind our business, yeah.

Yeah. That ain't my problem. Right? Right? You murder him. And then there was another stabbing in the Bronx. So gun violence is down. That's every day.

Gun violence is down, but stabbing's hard. As our friends would say, true to roof. I'm still just in all of the first 10 minutes of this podcast. You're fine. Get out, or else it gets the poison. No, no, no, no, no, no. Do it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't think he saw it. You literally from the money maker. He's looking at Ethan. He is looking at you.

You're fine. Yeah. You're going to be fine. Wait a minute. We're not talking about the cat now. You just pointed a fucking laser at my eyeball. Okay. Sorry, look.

Is that real? Is that real? What the fuck do you want? Yeah, but that doesn't count for you. All right, I get it now. It does not feel good. No. Oh, no. I love you. count for you. All right, I get it. It does not feel good. No.

Oh, no. I love him. I saved his life the other day. I think he's just going to start throwing the cat at us. This is insane, bro. He likes to get on your shoulder. He climbs up my leg and then goes on my shoulder. Yeah, I love it.

He's like a parakeet. Oh, my god. Ian, what other weapons have you tried to transport on an airplane? Well, as many people know, I got arrested in Newark Airport a couple of years ago with brass knuckles. Forgot them. Sure. Yep. And that. All right, dude.

And then recently, like two months ago, I got called by the Switchblade on a subway. On a subway? Well, at 73rd Street, they just saw the class. Oh, come here. What's in your pocket? I'm sorry. Oh, my knife. And they were writing me a ticket and I started to mouth off and the woman was like, oh, okay.

You're going to jail. You're arrested. And she when she put the handcuffs on me, I was like, wait, come on. She goes, stop resisting. And they all threw me against the wall. And I was like, we'll be all march for me. Moe, why would you mouth off? You have a switchblade in your pocket.

I do the same shit. Yeah, because I let my save shit because fuck that. We got adrenaline going. Fuck you. Don't touch me. So you can fucking go more charges. Fuck you. Don't touch me. It's like a fucking game. More charges. You're making me late to work. Our mentality is completely different. It's like you're late to work. Piss you when the real criminals go down to Wall Street.

You know, something that's old. You protested on a protest. Game stop. Game stop. Why don't you go down to Washington and arrest us suits? That's hilarious. Yeah. It's like a trip to the spa for you, the prison. How long were you in there for? Me and the fellas.

22 hours. Do you get a phone call? Is that like real? Yeah. You get three and my phone calls were to the seller to tell them I was missing my 1130. Can I get that 110? Who was the third one to? I didn't have anyone else to call.

Only my work and the cats can't pick up a phone. Is that the only number you know? They let me look at my phone. I looked up Gina the manager because I thought she was on Sundays. And then I called Val and she I called Val. She didn't pick up. And I called Gina and she picked up and relayed the message of Val. And I was like, why don't you keep this one close to the chest for a bit? Just tell her I had an emergency and I can't make it. Makes you look cooler.

I guess. But you know, it was a ST sent you a cake with a saw in it This guy's Shawshank in for the 1130 dude your cats playing with some sort of like Like nail or something. I hear it. Well, don't tell on them. Stop them. Is that okay? I don't know I mean how this behavior. No, it's um, it's a pin. It's a pin. Give me the pin I I I I don't want to grab the cap of the neck. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a lot of fat I'm not a fucking wrangler here. I'm not a podcast joe dirt jack Jesus christ don't throw don't throw the cat in my head jo Joe Exotic. Isn't he a famous animal person?

Hannah Barbera. Hannah Barbera. That's right, Hannah Barbera. Jack Hanna, I'm fucking off. There we go. I love you too. Look at him. See, this is how a man acts.

Ow. Those claws do get into you. Maybe I should bring him upstairs. Probably. You think? Yeah. He's just, you know what? I haven't been home, so he's excited.

I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm get into you. Yeah. Maybe I should bring him upstairs. Probably. You think? Yeah. He's just, you know what? I haven't been home, so he's excited. He loves you. You know? He does love you. How long have you had the little guy?

Oh my God. Since, uh, since the end of October. Okay. Coming up on a month. Nice. It's acclimated very well. I took so much time introducing him and Samson. I'm sure. How do they get along? It really takes a lot. So good. They get along really good. Yeah. Dude,

Samson lays on my chest and like will lay in my neck and then Glenn comes up and lays on my belly and puts his head on Samson. It's like everything I've wanted. How old is Samson? Samson is five. Okay. So Samson has been around a while. So, you know, it's very nice that I know. I don't want that guy to be alone when I'm gone because I'm going every weekend and I get home and he's just crying and like, you know, so I got Glenn for him and the whole thing was if he doesn't get along with Glenn, then I'll just foster Glenn and then try to get another cat. And it took like three or four days of like integration and then dude, they are like cleaning each other. They play. It's like so fun. Yeah. Are you, are you babysitting?

I I've watched the cast for the past two weeks and I'll keep watching them. I love them so much. I come in. Yeah. And having you come over has been like the biggest fucking help. It was also a literal lifesaver. Yeah, literally. Yeah, I did say I did save Glenn's life the other day. Yeah, she sent me a video of the cat. I'll send it to you, dude. Oh my God. The cat's got string wrapped around his neck on one of those perches. She took a video of it before she saved the cat.

We're in a surveillance. He wasn't dead yet. They're fucking sick. I wanted to show him. Contents. What do you do? From heroin addict to hero. Yeah, he had a string wrapped around his neck. One of those things that they play with and it was on the cat perch up high

and he was up high. So if he would have dove and tried to get out of it, he would have just been hanging. I would have come home to a dead cat. But I heard him crying from the hallway. Oh, my God. From the home like something is wrong. Are you sure you didn't actually tap on your YouTube special? Oh, no. From the home like something is wrong. Are you sure you didn't accidentally tap on your YouTube special? For the fucking first 15 minutes it's over

Just cut the thread he did that to me too. This is hands-down the best podcast I've ever done in my life I'm so happy You really are a magician. I love you Thank you. Thank you Tommy. Thank you love you. Thank you. What you Thank you man, whoo, holy now Tommy you're gonna be a father He's keeping that close to the chest. This is going to be edited out. I was going to say, look at the different parenting styles. You'll be such a better dad than me. This is a good thing for you to see.

My bad. It's okay. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Very excited. I knew this was going to happen. I want I wanted to just do it. It's funny. Oh, yeah, man. Well, I told him in the West Village and then he just started telling everybody

who was so happy. Yeah. We're telling homeless people homeless to congratulate you, make you feel special. You know, we know where you know. Yeah, unless you know special. Your wiener works, Tom. Your wiener works. Yeah, let you know. It is nice to know. I do say that.

Your dick works. I know. Thank you. Good for you, yes. Yes, sure. Yeah, and I was like, Tom's gonna be your dad. He's like, shut the fuck up. I was telling you in confidence.

Sorry, my bad, my bad. I can't keep secrets. I'm good at secrets. Okay. But you just gotta look me in the eye and go, my bad, my bad. I can't keep secrets. I'm good at secrets. Okay. You just gotta look me in the eye and go, don't fucking tell anyone. I would never tell you a secret. I don't think I've ever told you a secret

in our 12 year friendship. I don't think at any point was I like, this is the guy I wanna confide in. I'm the same way, I feel you bro, it's all good. Oh goodness gracious. Man oh man. I've confided in you. Sure. And one time I confided in him and then he used it in a rose battle against me. Oh that's fucked up. You used it against him?

You gotta do that though. I talked about it with my psychiatrist. I don't even remember what it was. Earlier at doctor, Ian said, I was like, what the fuck? You weren't supposed to let people know that. I thought that's the whole point of a roast battle. You tell people your secrets and then they jump on you. No, you tell people what you want. You say, here's off limits this, that, but Tom won.

He wore a shirt with me in bed with one of my friends. As a joke. And on the back of the shirt was you in the with one of my friends As a joke And on the back of the shirt was you in the shower with him I don't remember that Well he does Wow And I do Oh there's another guy

I remember that I thought it was the same guy No different guy Is this on YouTube as friends? Can I get this gross? No I don't think so No way

This is before they started posting You also kept thinking. I think there was like maybe one thing I went over the top with, but it was within everything else. So it didn't seem like that. But I remember one thing was like, you thought I was going to make a joke about your dad and I didn't. And then your last joke was like, well, my dad's dead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But your shelter's a whore. I didn't even mention your dad being dead. My hackles were up. My hackles were up. My sister's not a whore. You were just waiting for me to tell a joke about your dad, and I never did, so you're like, I gotta tell it.

Yeah. Oh, dude. It's good stuff. Yeah. Yes. You beat you. We had a lot of good Yeah. He beat me when he took that shirt off and had a picture of me in bed with another guy. It was lights out. It was over. It was over. I won the second round because I ranted the entire minute about what a piece of shit

he was for telling my secrets. So this was the distance and then you had the bomb the bomb. This was before you were like kind of out. Yeah. A certain extent. Yeah. And this and then you outed him and you told about his psychiatrist. Yeah. What a good friend we have here. Daddy Cat. If you lose that roast though. That's a testament to your shittiness. Stop!

I'm putting that in my eye. I win the war. You won the battle 100% stop doing that you're starting to get me a headache Hit this I and then you activated this one just now stop it. I want it to be Promo codes Oh, Jesus Christ. So I see in spots. Yeah, he's all. He's a do it. The real cat. No. Hey, is there a bad market news?

Oh, shit. I hang myself. Oh, my goodness. While Sherry records. Sherry's. You can check this out. Five more seconds. Five more seconds. What is he doing over there?

Sherry's just feeding you wet food. Eat it. Eat it. Five more seconds, five more seconds. What is he doing over there? Sure he's just feeding you wet food. Eat it, eat it. Eat it, eat it. Love me, love me. Oh my goodness. Yep, yep. So what else is going on? Are you married as well?

I am married, yeah, yeah. How long have you been married? April, April 27th, yeah. No way. Congrats. Oh that's wonderful. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you, congratulations. Lucky girl.

Oh that's, I love love so much. Don't tell me when you're having a baby. No, buddy. I'll tell everybody on TV later. Yeah, it was a good time. We had a good time. That's awesome. I've been married 10 years, so hang in there.

I will. I'm going to hang in there for sure. Thank you so much. Alge-meter. Through a friend. So in real life, not on the internet? No, no, no. Real life. Oh, hell yeah. Big swinging dick you are. Nice. You're a good husband. I hear you talk to her sometimes. You're real sweet.

Not everybody's like that though. No. Give us an her sometimes. You're real sweet. Oh, yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, not everybody's like that, though. No. You're a sweet guy. Give us an example. Be her, Tom, and you be you. Yeah. Or no, you be her and Tom, you be how he talks. She's... Bring, bring. He's me. I'm her?

Yeah, yeah. I'm my wife. Yes. And then he's you, so he will tell us how you speak to her. Okay. So I come home from work because that's what I do. Yeah. On the phone, on the phone. Someone has to. I'm at work, yeah, making the money. And you're playing Madden and you're down 21-0. Oh, I'm with you. I call you, hey, hey, hey Pavi, how are you?

Hi, sweet darling. I'm getting halal with Tom. Would you like me to get anything for you? Oh, that's so sweet of you. You're so fucking handsome and stunning. That's not how she talks. Yeah, she you. You're so fucking handsome and stunning Yeah, she does you don't hear what's going on at the other end. She actually like She compliments me a lot. She really loves my mind

She goes she goes get away from that disgusting Pig who's scared of cats and come home and rub my feet scene? Sweet I am sweet like yeah, I could do more though. I could do more I could tell you sweet I could like contribute more to the finances. Oh, yeah She does what she she's killing what you do. She works in comedy. We can't get into this. Oh, okay Oh, I had no idea. Yeah, it's all good. It's all good. Well, there's anybody who's a vault. I didn't know you were married to Michelle Boteau. That's hilarious. His wife is Samantha Bee. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. She's, she's the best, bro. Sorry. So you- I was gonna say he's married to Michelle Wolf. He is most deaf. Oh! What?

Why are you apologizing? So tell us what it's like being in a marriage with Dulce. Wow. Oh my God. Oh, that's good though. Dulce used to live with us for like- Really? Yeah, dude.

Oh yeah, cause you lived with Scopo. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, I lived with Scopo and Mike. And when Mike left, Dulce lived with us for a little bit. That's right, I remember that. She was cool, she was a cool woman. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I live a scope on Mike and when Mike laughs don't say lives with us for a little bit That's right. I remember she was good. She was cool. She was a cool. Yeah, we all I remember we all went up for a road gig and I think we left in the middle of night or so. I just remember like you would sculpt just like yeah Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. That was years ago. That was so for sure. Yeah

So what else is going on Yeah. Nice. So what else is going on? Have you seen any good movies lately? You really like to paint things with a broad stroke. I can't wait to use this May section. You're slowly turning into the legendary Wynn. Oh my God.

Okay, okay. Moving on. Okay. Is that a Philly like magician comic? He's a prop comic. He's very funny. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy.

He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy.

He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He was a very funny guy. He. Okay. Moving on. Okay. Is that um, is that a philly like magician comic? He's a prop comic He was supposed to be the next carrot top He's carrot top got his ax from the wind really. He's still alive. Yep He is still okay, dude. Very funny. I love the width literally legendary. He was like friends bill hicks like he was incredible everybody him. And then it just... Faded. Well, Kare Tom blew up and then... I guess so, yeah.

Damn, man. That sucks. But dude, he would crush at the Laugh House as a prop comic, as like an old white prop comic. Laugh House is like a black room? He would host the open mic night. Yeah, that's where me and Tom starred in Black Rooms in Philly. That makes sense. Oh, that's awesome. Not Black Ro started in black rooms in Philly. Oh, that makes sense. Black rooms, black room.

And it was a life. Not all the black. Sure. So did I. But where we started with the. Yeah. But yeah, that must be fucked up, though. Starting comedy in a black room in Philly. It's actually awesome. Yeah. It was so cool.

I would imagine. But when you when it goes bad. Oh, it was great. It was so cool. Yeah, I would imagine. But when you when it goes bad. Oh, yeah. Look at this dumbass white guy going to stage right now. It's also literally right when we started too. Yeah, it's not like we were. Yeah, I remember Danny Ozark, Karen, was DJing and she, after one of my sets I did so bad, she took me to Wawa and was like, what the fuck is the matter with you? You're not being the guy that we hired to MC.

You're being some other guy. You're not black. Don't act like it. Be yourself. Be who you are. And I was like, oh my God, thank you. And then the next show I did all right. Cause I think I went up there and was like, what's up y'all?

Of course. I can't see you acting like a weird. Oh shit. And Danny saw himself in you because Danny turned into a woman many years later. What's up? Yeah, of course. I can't see you acting like a weirdo. And Danny saw himself in you because Danny turned into a woman many years later. Oh, damn. He was also not being himself. True.

Beautiful. Love Danny Ozark. Love Karen. We helped each other. Oh, Danny and Karen are the same. Same. Yeah. Okay.

I kind of did a reverse there. Yeah. Kind of like an inception. I don't know any of these people. Me and you are confused. I don't know any of these people I guess when you talk about someone's a trans you always say she don't use the dead name But they were they were yeah, then they were Danny They were first so but but I'm saying in this story they were Danny. They were Danny Was a boy

Yeah. And in the context, he was a boy. In the context of this story, Danny was so kind and so wonderful. We should have stuck with Danny was a boy. The song type of thing. I don't brush his neck and get that. I mean, I was doing that. I don't know why I was doing that. Oh, yeah. I was in love with that. I was doing my station. Ooh. Yeah. You're feeling college?

Cousin. Come on now. Not my blood. You guys are really cousins? I'm so confused. No, no. You know when like your parents are best friends and then you know you're cousins?

We're Italian cousins, like the Sopranos. Everyone on the Sopranos says they're cousins. We're like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, cool, cool. My dad and his dad were best friends. Oh, OK, cool, cool. What's up, everybody?

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So this is good for us. Bye bye. Oh man. But anyway, sorry, go back to what you were saying. No, they were a wonderful person and very helpful. Did you have sex with them because they were trans? No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, he was the best.

What's the hardest you bomb in the black? I love when people like tell me stories about bombing in black rooms. I bomb, kill me dude. So bad at a fish fry. I remember your first hosting week at the Laugh House. Cotton was the opener, Rest His Soul. And Damien Rosair was the headliner, Rest His Soul. He's dead too.

He was in a wheelchair. He was in a wheelchair. And the first show. You're hosting. Yeah, the first show, me and Cotton had to lift him on the stage when his theme, his song was when I roll out, you know, I roll out cause there's a wheelchair. I see you rolling. And when that was his closing.

Okay. Sure. I'm not even joking. He would, he would bring someone on stage. I mean, he crushed it. And give them a lap dance from his wheelchair. It was like, dude,. He's a man. Yeah. And he when me and Cotton are lifting him on

stage and his songs playing, he goes, if you drop me, motherfucker, I'll kill you. And then kind of yell at me because he's like, you're not hosting good. I got to re host because you're not good enough. Chris, you got to re host. you're not good And then the waitress at the bald head stole my chicken wings and I sat in Miss Mona's chair and brother

That's Miss Mona's chair. I go. Why don't think she's gonna use it and he goes excuse me. It was like nothing brother Yes, you. Oh, yeah Yeah work better you can eat them next time And then mr. Rye goes, you know all you know, you know the comments gunning for you cuz they think you only got this Cuz you're white and I was like, yeah, but didn't you say you needed a white? Yeah, but prove them wrong this because you're white. I was like, yeah, but didn't you say you needed a white? He goes, yeah, but prove him wrong. Figure it out, white boy. Figure it out. What the fuck's a fish fry?

A fish fry is exactly what it says it is. Yeah, what do you think it is? Fish fry. What is that? They fry fish. It's like a cookout indoors. What do you think? I don't know what it is, bro. I'm from Canada. Fried fish, baby. Fried fish.

Sometimes we don't have open mics at the fish fryer. Bluefish. Red snapper. They love that red snapper. I know what fish is. Hold on, hold on. Tom's got one in the chamber. Come on. I was going to say something about Cotton used to yell at me. Cotton used to yell at me on the phone. And I would put my phone down and I would go do something. And then I would pick it back up and he'd still be yelling

Put it down come back like five minutes later He played the best fucking prank on me one time we did a black room in the Bronx And he was bringing me up to open and we were running late and he goes I gotta go inside you Park the car and come in. I go, all right. And when he went in, he told everyone it was all black room. Everyone was black. I was the only white person. And he said, when, when my buddy walks in, everybody stopped and turned and stared at him. So I walk in and this whole room full of black people is like, and just scared of me. I went, I'm the police.

I broke the room. It was amazing. I'm undercover. Amazing. It was amazing. He's on stage, just everybody looks at me. It's so funny. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I miss him. His name was Cotton and he was black? Chris Cotton. Correct. Yeah.

Chris Cotton. All right Yeah. Chris Cotton. All right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think you look- That's good dude, fuck off. Why'd you start looking around like that? I'm not racist.

See, you didn't get what she deserved though. That was good. I thought it was funny. What do you want to look like? I don't know. I'm just like the whole time, like Cotton, black, okay. Yeah. I thought there was another laser in here

Something I don't even think that was racist that was just a funny question But it's also funny to say something racist and then just look around like that. That's the way I wasn't racist at all You were like, what was this middle name picker? There's this black room in, there's this AdLabs. There's this black, like black room, it's Sunday nights. And the last Sunday I ever, in Toronto, it's called the- Is it called Chocolate Sundays?

No, Noobie's Shell. Noobie's Shell. Dude, that's what every black show on Sundays at clubs is like Chocolate Sundays. So this- And it's somehow spelled wrong. With an E, it's an S-U-N-D-A-E. I mean, the last house was spelled L-A-F-F.

Oh, yeah. Well, this guy, this guy bombed at this club three years ago. OK, he came back. He was like from out of town. He came back. He's walking to the stage. They remember him.

So one guy goes, oh, hell no, he's not even on the stage. They start booing him. Okay? Oh my God. Bro, it's like a 17 second boo. I've never seen this before. They boo him and they all run out of breath and the whole audience, you heard him go,

inhale as an audience and boo him again and he just walked out. He goes, I took the bus here and they went boo. Oh, dude. And inhale from an audience is one of the greatest things to see live. Because you're like, holy fuck, they hate this man. How'd you do? I was watching. No, I was not. I was not going on that. One of the best things to ever happen to the Laugh House was Tom

get a feature weekend and he got booked for a feature weekend in like April. And I got to be booked for a feature weekend in like April. No, I got to be booked for a feature weekend in I believe the third week of July. Oh, and the club shut down in March. No, June shut down in like the second week of July. Oh, OK. Right before you're supposed to. Right before. All right. I like how you edited the story. I butchered it.

No, you like you were like Tom bombs so bad. Oh, no, no, no. He didn't bomb so bad. It was just like I was a host. Well, black people are always late. So what? OK, is that right? Look around.

Look around. They're a little late. I mean, I grew up in black foster care, so I a little late. I mean, I grew up in Black Foster care, so I can say that. Let me drink my wine. They closed a week before my feature date. They closed a week before his feature date. Did you ever get a feature date there? Never.

I'll tell you. It was a good place to start though, man. Happy. I'm good right now. Thank you though. Yeah, me too. That was great. Those Thursday night open mics were fucking wild. It's a shame that there's not like a black comedy club in Philadelphia anymore. I know. You know? Yeah. Well, cause I remember Helium was like, oh, if you do our open mic, we're not booking you there for like another nine months.

And then you had to like ask permission to hang out there as a comic. They used to be like really cold shoulder to new comics. Is that helium? Helium and Philly. But they've revamped. They're fucking great. They're amazing. When you do helium, it's yeah, you know, funny enough, bitch. Punchline is kind of the black room in Philly now.

A little more so. But the Laugh House was like black. Black. It was a black comedy club. Yeah. Punchline just has a lot of black people there. Yeah. It's different. No, it's totally different. The Laugh House was like a stop, like a big stop on the Chitlin circuit.

Like that was that was like huge. The funniest joke. One of the funniest jokes I've ever heard was a black man. I can't remember which one it was, but he was talking about fat girls, vaginas. Oh, I know about them. And he said if fat girls... That don't need a look around. Well... Look down the barrel of that thing, honey.

He just said fat girls' vaginas were like unstepped on snow. Oh, what? It's funny, but it's like a poem. They are, if you think about it, it's nice and cushy. And then when you step on it, it's a crunch. Crunch? Crunch? A little bit. A little bit of a crunch tool. It's probably not as used as well. Right. Right. Nice and tight. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a poem. Tastes a lot better than dirty snow. Yellow snow. Yeah. Leave. Yeah. It's like a taste taste a lot better than dirty snow. Leave the Chinese out of this.

Look around. Dude, I'll never forget. I asked Cassie, Oh, my God, you're going to feature the land house. That's amazing. I know some fucking guy named like J.J. The Gloveman. I don't know some fucking guy named like J.J. the Gloveman. Oh, J. I'll never forget Michael Blackson came in and he had African dancers on that tiny stage for him to like do his like

walk up thing. One comedian got mad at me because the one comedian was named Nate the Landlord and I mixed them up with Keith from up the block. I'm sorry. That's the same one. That's so funny. That's Roger. There he goes.

But yeah man. The look baby. I remember Sean Clay was super funny but he was a cab driver and like. So I remember. use a cab driver. And like, so I remember as much. Large kilabrew got mad at me because I did like crowd work and was like, you gonna be up there just asking people where they from. You can tell joke. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Are these people? Are these guys still on this? I've been doing this for

four months. I don't know anything. Lawrence Killebrew is. Is he at? Yeah. It's where we met Reggie. Reggie Conquest? Yeah. It's where we met Monroe and Derek and Foley and Kev. Foley. Conrad. Kevin didn't start at the left house, but yeah.

I thought he did. No. But yeah. I want to do more Philly shows. I'm from Delaware. I want to do more Philly shows. I'm from Delaware. Yeah. I want to talk that shit. Mm. Delaware. It was always like that's where I did the fish fry. Like Delaware had like fucking weird rooms. Did your pizza party show for a while?

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, I had I had a show at a place called Extreme Pizza. It was pretty good until the fire alarm went off for 45 minutes. During your set? I don't think it was for like a lot of the show. I think a fire alarm went off for some reason. I was getting fucking beeped the whole time. Do you remember that?

Y'all been doing some shit, man. Pizza, extreme pizza? Extreme pizza. Yeah, and they didn't turn the sound off. It was pumping into the street and like downtown Wilmington. So people would be like, here and be like, what the fuck are they saying? They paid in pepperoni. Yeah. The fish fry bombed out was off Market Street on the other side of the bridge,

like towards the industrial area. Sound 13. Yeah. You know, 13. Yeah. You ever do one of the, okay open mics were one thing, but doing the mics that were also music in Philly. Oh yeah. There was the one that was like, it was like a seafood restaurant on South Street. It was down further. Like whatever, I think the Laugh House was like 22nd. No, Laugh House was second in set. Sorry, I'm mixing it up. So that was second and that was like 13th. And it was down. Was it one of those Paul Goodman rooms? Remember those? No, no, no, it wasn't. No, it was like a black restaurant that

had music and you could do comedy on it. So you'd have to- People would be like, like they would sing or were people playing guitar. What was it? Probably rapping and then you'd have to tell jokes. Which is the word. It's so hard to follow music. No, yeah, it's impossible. Especially when you're me tell jokes. Which is the word. It's so hard to follow music. No, yeah, it's impossible. Especially when you're bad at comedy. Oh, yeah. When music is pretty good too. And then you're bad. Tommy Too Smooth took a liking to me.

And. Oh, no. Tommy Too Smooth. Shout out Tommy Too Smooth. And he was like filming a special, so he asked me to MC it. And I was like, oh, my God. So I gave like a rah rah speech beforehand, like this guy. When I first started, nobody gave a fuck. And then, like, I just looked out and people were like.

And I stuttered and someone goes, just bring him up. Oh, yeah, it was bad. It was bad. And the Laugh House made you do a blowjob shot for Bachelorette parties. Do you remember that? No. You never had to do that? No, just you looking forward to it. Looking forward. Yeah, it was back in the sound room. No, brother, his son. Yeah, brother, his son.

He turned the lights. He got mad at me for the mizmona mishap. And now you would have to bring the bachelorette on stage and she would drink a shot with whipped cream and she'd have to blow it and suck it back. And that was like. That's not fun to me. It was I mean, yeah, but it would rile everyone up. And then I had to go back and be like, well, settle, settle.

Right. Right. Children. Did you ever do now this one is crazy. Remember the cable? I guess it was Xfinity. I don't know if it was Xfinity back then Comcast or whatever. They did the filming. Did you ever do any of the film? No, I did it twice.

Dude, what? So, yeah, it was like I remember the basic cable. Basically, they're not. It was like cable remember these basic cable basically. They're not. It was like cable in Philly. So it would come on. So it was like a really big opportunity for like a one year comedian. Yeah, it was like that in the WMGK like one line contest. But this was on television. Yeah.

You could just look at it on like late at night. It was like on demand. It was like on demand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was on demand and Comcast. So the first time I did it, like for me, I did really good because I was like, you know, early, but I like used like my best five minutes. It went great.

Then they asked me to do it like probably like a few months later. And I didn't have a new five or six minutes. Same shit. Right before I went up, they did a thing where they got the crowd reaction shots. So they were like, OK, everybody cheer. And they did that. And then for some reason, they're like, all right, everybody, boo. No. And then they were like, all right, everybody.

And that's foresight. Horrifying. They're like, they're next. And they're like, all right, everybody, Tom Cassidy. That was like, what the foreshadowing. Aida Dick. No, they didn't let me have Comcast after that. I was like, what the f**k? Foreshadowing food. Ate a dick. They didn't let me have Comcast after that. I never watched another Philly game. Where was the show?

Netflix DVDs. Where was the show? At the Laugh House. Oh, it was at the Laugh House. They had the funny faces of Philly Festival. Or like, it was like the new faces of Philly, whatever and I was on there and I was the only white comic and two of my friends came to support me and they sat in the front row and pretty smiles went up. And the first thing he said, and dude, this, my friends are like, he didn't have front

teeth and his clothes was he drank applesauce or straw? And so he goes up and to my friend who's like the sweetest like I'm just here to support He goes what up this bitch don't even know what a front lays weave Tootie Tony no that was Tommy Two Smoo. This was pretty smiles. S-M-I-L-E-Z. No teeth. One time pretty smiles I thought was very funny. Pretty smiles is fucking hilarious. He still does comedy too. One time I had him on a show in West Chester University because I had a show in West Chester University. I was like, all right, man, do 15.

He did 45. I was lighting him for half an hour. That's awesome. I love that. That's great. Thanks for doing your part. Good stuff. Dude, they were crushed, man.

That Laugh House was so hard because you had to follow some of the funniest fucking people. And that's where Kevin Hart started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So after shows... That's what they would always say to you. Kevin Hart started. Well, yeah. Well, dude...

I know, of course. After shows, I would be in the lobby and people would be like, excuse me, excuse me. And I'd be like, oh my God, they're going to ask for a picture. And they'd be like, can you take a picture of us standing next to the display? It was a cardboard player. It was a cardboard player, or like a display of his DVDs. And I'd be like, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Humble. Like I'd bomb and I'd go get a cheesesteak and people would kill me. It wasn't all, but also, we would also, we would also kill in those rooms too.

And it was so cool to like do good in a black room. There's no better feeling. There's no better feeling. It is fun to do good in a black room. Especially when it's like a young comic to like demolish in a black room. That was the best. I mean, that gave me a ton of boost of confidence to try and like go other places and like, you know, no, for real, dude. Yeah, but the stories are crushing aren't as funny as the bomb stories. That's a thing.

Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, no, but it was the best. And I'll never... Oh, is he all right? Yeah, have you never... Okay now? ...podcasted before, Tom? Are they your equipment sucks? He's all shaky. Doing different. I'm holding a fucking mits. The kid is it OK now? Tom, relax.

Have a cigarette and chill out. It's like one of my dildos. Oh, my God. What are you a lesbian from the Victorian era? I've nitted myself a fuck stick. That probably is how they did it too. Oh man, that's fucking insane.

I wish I was part of this Philly scene now. Just watching the fucking cat daddy go up there and just get full applause breaks. Why? Okay. Too much? Too much daddy? much, Daddy. I'm sorry. I said we did good every now and then.

No, it was the best. No. Oh, OK, you guys got to get out of here. No, what time is it? We're at 45. It's getting close to seven. Oh, you guys got to roll. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, oh, we got to change the game. Well, yeah. Which is it? And we get to get the fuck out of anything else you guys want to reminisce about. We don't have to reminisce. Let's look to the future. OK. What are you excited about? Your child? Sure.

You're going to be a good dad. I can tell you're going to be a great dad. You're going to be a good dad, I can tell. You're going to be a great dad. You're going to be a great dad. I'm so excited for you. Can I, can I do the circumcision? No. Whatever the question is, no. Can I, can I be an uncle? Yes.

Little baby, here's a cat for you. Here's some candy, cigarettes. I'll give you some mace, little boy. It's blue. Here, let me put the laser right in his eye. for you. Here's some candy cigarettes. I'll give you some mace little boy. It's blue. Here let me put the laser right in his eye. Stop

Dom, it'll make him stronger. Exactly, make him a real man. Are you having a boy? How'd you go blind? Uh, yes. Oh hell, you made a boy. Yeah. Yeah, you're a real man. Made a boy. Did boy figure out a name yet You're gonna say the name but you figure it out. I got a couple things got a couple in the in the

You want to give it to me? I don't think it's right. Not yet. Not yet Can we do a pool like a name pool one? I'll give you one. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Give us one. Give us one Wait, give us a full name. Yes, it's the full name Yes, can't you give us like an like five and then we could decide which one we think it is No, what the fuck is that? What is the fun in this? Because we don't even have five. Okay, three. What the fuck give us a couple options. What i'm giving you is good The full name full name this isn't going to be it though. You're not going to give us Is this an option or is this an option in the sky? This is an option, but it's not going to be it

bernard malcolm cassidy aka bernie mack That that's good. Wow, you should not do that I mean I can tell the way you were looking around that you were gonna say something racist That's a joke right? Dude is that for real Bernard Malcolm? Bernie's a cool name Bernie's a sick name Bernie Cassidy?

Sick burn? That's a sick name Bernie Cassidy yeah That sounds like a fucking sick jazz player from the 30s Bernie Cassidy? Yeah That's cool So yeah I mean you wouldn't you don't it's not people. Cassidy is a cool ass name because anything sounds cool in front of him. Right. Yeah. Bernie Mac Cassidy is pretty sick though. Honestly, I'm not saying that just so you name your kid Bernie Mac Cassidy. Oh dude, that's like a rap name. Mac Cassidy is

pretty dope. It is. You see you have options. Mac Miller, but not Mac Miller. My wife likes Mac Miller a lot. There you go. This is perfect. Bernie Mac Cassidy is good. So we're saying it right now. You are naming him Bernie Mac Cassidy. This is it. This is the name they're telling me. Bernie Mac Cassidy. I like it. I like it. One more option. Give us one more option just so we can compare contrast. Another name we were thinking is Francis. No. You go Bernie Mac Cassidy. That's going to be a girl name. Why Francis? I was going to name it, if gonna be a girl name. Call him Frank. Why Francis? I was gonna name if it was a girl,

I was gonna name it Francis after my grandmother. But Francis also works as a boy too. And yeah, I like Fran. I like Fran. Fran is cool. I like Fran is cool. I like Fran is so cute. That's a cool name.

Fran is cute as hell. Yeah, I like that. Francis is nice. Everything sounds good in front of Cassidy. Cassidy is a great last name. It is. What if you name the kid Cassidy? Cassidy, Cassidy, Cassidy. Cassidy, Cassidy. I floated that. Call them Cece. Cece. I floated it, but no.

No way. That's too ridiculous. You can't name a kid Cassidy. Cassidy, Cassidy, Cassidy. That's nuts, dude. So nice we named them twice. Yeah. Don't, don't, don't, don't. That will not do that. Don't. I don't like any of this. You can't do this. You can't do this to the kid. All right. What do you guys want everyone to put their eyes on out there in TV land? Me and Alex have a podcast called cat daddy and the pizza squirrel. We go live every Tuesday night at eight on YouTube. And then there's a debris coming out of that. I think hit him again. See what happens.

See, and then it is available on YouTube and wherever you listen to podcasts that night. And Cassidy is the mastermind behind the non-music music video. I feel like we should delete that and repost it now that you got a little more heat. You know what I'm saying? It's got like 7,000 views. If we repost that bad boy through the roof, baby, what do you think? Yeah, I think we should do another. What is it? I'm confused on that. Yeah, what is it? What is it? Tell them, Tom. What's you think? Yeah, I think we should do another. What is it? What is the I'm confused on that. Yeah, what is it? What is it?

Tell them, Tom. What's the non music video? The concept I created four years ago, it's just we shoot music videos, but it's not music, it's stand up. So you just shoot it like a music video, but it's just stand up. So he shot a

shot by shot remake of a NOS music video with his joke. You never saw it. I did one of my. I did one of my jokes as a punk rock concert. I was like a punk rock singer at a concert and at the end I stage dived, you know, I saw. So it's like, yeah, it's like a minute long joke or whatever shot as a music video and you're lip-syncing to your joke. Yes. Oh hell yeah. Yeah. That's cool as shit man. Yeah. Yeah, really cool. Love you, Sherry. Good to see you.

That's a good concept. Repost it. Okay. Get some new wires in here. You know man. I had a great time. I'm so happy you guys came. I had a blast as well. What do you want people to put their eyes on now? Okay, that eating the pizza squirrel love every Tuesday eight o'clock What's eight o'clock and what's a podcast about tell us give us a little blur calling podcast?

Typically anybody can call in you gamble. I do no way draft Kings better. Yeah Yeah Cool. Do you guys have regulars that call in? Yes. That's so cool. Yeah, we got some people you've called in. I have. Yeah, that was really fun. Talked about the X Games when you got when you snuck in. I do. Really? Yeah.

I'm what football? Well, everything basketball, football, boxing. I just bought or not box. I just did the Jake Paul Tyson. Who'd you bet on? No, I took Jake Paul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Why? Because that's I look like him. Good answer.

That's the best reason to gamble on anybody. I've never heard that before. I mean, I am the lesbian Jake fucking Paul. What's up? So wait, do you also beat up old black men? I have in the past. Tom, Tom, Jerry, shut the fuck up. Do you bet on the NBA, though? No, I do. I just I bet, you know, on each play in each past. Tom, Tom, Jerry shut the fuck up. Do you bet on the NBA though? No I do, I bet on each play and each quarter. You bet on each play?

Well each quarter, how they have the semi- I know, I understand. That's unbelievable. He's a degenerate gambler, he knows everything. No you are because your fucking ears perked up the second we mentioned gambling. I just like your strategy of betting on people that should look like her. What do you guys take on the Jake Paul Tysons thing? You think that was rigged? No, I don't think it was rigged.

There was too much pain in Tyson's eyes and stuff toward the end of it. I think he was on mushrooms, Mike Tyson. What? He does a lot of mushrooms. He does a lot of mushrooms. Something was wrong with him. Did you see his butt ass naked? There's nothing wrong with him. He's a 58 year old man who... Yeah, but dude his left is so powerful. It was fucking popped him a couple times It's like what why didn't he fucking pop? I think he loves those gloves were actually bigger than regulation were 14 ounces instead of 10. No, they were 14 I thought they were 16. Okay, they said 16. Yeah, fuck you I'm a boxer. I'm one day when I want to spar Jordan, but we'll talk about another. Whoa.

I want to see that. She needs more training. She does. You box. I used to spar a lot. Used to. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. Jordan's getting really good. She is. And she's taller and bigger. So I got a bum shoulder. We used to wrestle and fight when we were kids. I got a bum shoulder.

We both would fuck each other up. She'd beat that. I got a bum shoulder. I got a bum shoulder. I got a bum shoulder. I got a bum shoulder So I got a bum shoulder. We used to we used to wrestle and fight when we were kids. I got a bum. We both would fuck each other up. She beat the fuck out of you. No, I don't think so. You're scrapping. Yeah. Yeah. I'm tough. You fucking piece of shit. Fuck you. Yeah. You know, you're both little angry people. I'd like to see you two go at it. I'll fucking go at it with you right now.

I think you have a bum shoulder. You want to I'll still fucking Let's go Yeah, I know you both have injuries. I think it'd be pretty even injured on you Can't like wall. I had just like my pretty even. What's it injured on you? My, I got a bad back. I can't like wall. I had sciatica. Just like mine. You don't help my sciatica ride in a bicycle. It does. It actually does.

It fucking set me right. Because we have to leave. That was not nice. You are a nice guy. And now we bonded from gambling. Sherri, what do you want the people to put their eyes on? Pimp Daddy podcast. Me and my boy have a podcast called Pimp Daddy podcast. That's right. Punch up dot live slash Jordan Jensen for all her dates. Check out our Jordan Jensen and punch up dot live slash Ian Fidance for all my dates.

Denver is going to be sick. L.A. Hollywood improv. Baltimore, Rhode Island. Then I'm on the road all through January, February, March. So check out those dates, grab tickets, patreon.com slash B and E and pod and my special wild happy and free right here on the YouTube. Check it out. We love you. See you next week. Bye. Bye guys.