Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Ep134: Baby Momitor W/ Rosebud Baker

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

As always , Thanks for listening!  Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s ROSEBUD BAKER - THE MOTHER LODE : https://www.netflix.com/title/81711233 Podcast Merch Here ! : https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast Support the show and get up to 65% off with the Chubbies Spring Break Sale. Head to https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/fiendclub Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ See Jordan Live! : https://punchup.live/jordanjensen WATCH JORDAN’S SPECIAL HERE : https://youtu.be/MoBkkw66NWY?si=ffcJnn9HuluWrW4l @jordanjensenlolstop Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! : https://punchup.live/ianfidance IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 Follow Rosebud Baker Here : https://www.instagram.com/rosebudbaker/ https://www.rosebudbaker.com ROSEBUD BAKER - THE MOTHER LODE : https://www.netflix.com/title/81711233 Rosebud Baker: Whiskey Fists - Full Special : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMCm1V6Z1s4 Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/

Ianfightance.com, Helium Portland, Oregon, February 21st, 22nd, Skyline Comedy Club the next weekend, Fayetteville, Arkansas at the Arts Theater, I forget the name, March 6th, March 7th and 8th, Raleigh Improv, and then Vegas Wise Guys. I'm going all over, Ianfightance.com for all my dates. Come see me on the road. Punchup.live slash Jordan Jensen for all her dates. She's everywhere as well. Come and see us live. It's a good time. Hardstyle with us in the meet and greet and enjoy the show. It's a fun one. Bye bye. Telling jokes and having smokes, riding bikes all through the night it's a wild ride when you're being Ian

coffee ice no matter what now you know he likes it in the butt it's a wild ride when you're being Ian being Ian life is shit but you're being Ian, being Ian Life is shit but you're positive Let's find out what it's like to live a life Being Ian, being Ian With Jordan The most raw I saw you with Baby is when you schlepped the baby all the way up to the top of this venue to do comedy jam.

Oh my god. And then you go like this, you get to the top, put the stroller down and you're like, what am I doing? We have to go. And then you just schlepper all the way back down into an Uber and you're like, what am I thinking? That was fucking insane of me. It was goddamn comedy jam. She was fucking four months old. I was like, the band was warming up. I had like headphones on her. And I remember like three flights of stairs. It probably was less, but I remember it feeling like that.

It was so far. It was so far. Dude, there was so many times after I had her where I was like, everything's gonna be the same. Everything's cool. And then I'd get to where I thought I wanted to be. And I'm like, I need to accept that my life is different. Yeah, yeah, totally.

I have a picture of us at an open mic from years ago with you holding a baby on stage that was like your, I think you were- Not mine. No, it was, there was a dime machine. No, there was, you were, I think, nannying and you brought the kid and you held the kid on stage. No fucking way. I'll find it.

I brought a child to it. How are you going to find it? Uh huh. I have I have over 100,000 pictures on my phone. How was I not fired? I love memories. Let's hear blow the pod. Blow the thing.

Holding the baby on stage. I've seen that one. I remember that because I started crying when I saw it. Wait, do you see this? I was like, why the fuck would you do that? I was so upset. Yeah. I was like, why the fuck would you ever bring her in the.

Yeah. Ever since Coyote chewed the end of it it has gotten much harder I can do it smells good well come back to another episode of being Ian with Jordan not touching I didn't even remember no touch we are so excited for our guest. Long time friend. Wonderful pal. Rosebud Baker. Ian's looking for a photo of Rosebud. Yes, I'm looking for a photo of Rosebud at an open mic. She's probably holding a dog. Baby dog. No. I can't believe I did that. I have no recollection of doing this.

Wait till you see this. No, this isn't it. This is a picture of my ska band from high school. That's not it. Okay, yeah, so apparently Ian is accusing me of bringing a child that I was nannying for to an open mic. I have no recollection of this. Where you at?

Oh my God, I can't believe I did that. Ian's not a liar. Let me see. Oh wow. That's not a liar. Oh wow. That's not even an open mic. That is the show that I produced. Oh my god, that's right. And the picture for the show was

baby pictures. It was a little baby show. And then now you're holding a baby. Look at your face. I had a baby show. Babies got backyard. Oh my God. I can't believe I did that. I should have been fired.

That's amazing. Did you get any for rich people? That is so funny. That's crazy. That is crazy. What's even more insane is that I don't remember a single moment of that. Like I do. I have something wrong with me.

I remember everything. You were you drinking then? No, no. you're sober. You moved to the city sober. Yeah. Yeah. How much time did you move to the city sober? I I but I started comedy sober. Oh, okay. I always think it's so city made me get sober basically. Wait, how old were you? Wait, wait, you moved here and you weren't sober and you got sober in the city. Yeah. I always think of, of you and I don't want to out them, but a couple other people that we know in sobriety that are like hardcore meetings, book, fuck smoking weed.

And I always think that that's like the coolest way to go about it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I did. I did the program. I did. And I always think that that's like the coolest way to go about it. The coolest way today? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did the program. I did. I do all of it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that saved me during the pandemic. Program therapy, all that shit. Sometimes my therapy conflicts with my step work. You ever find that? Why? Because your therapist is like, go back to your ex. It's fine.

Sometimes, sometimes, yeah. Sometimes my therapist will say stuff that really conflicts with just like the premise of the disease of alcoholism, where I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna meditate my way out of alcoholism, it's not gonna happen. But I always go, you know, I go to him for help, but like I would consider like the program my medicine. Are you Alan? I also do Alan on. Yeah. No, Alan. Alan. Oh, Alan. No, I don't see the comedy therapist. Yeah. No. Do you?

Okay. Yeah. All right. I was in a, I was in dire straits. Listen, if it works, it works. I called him. I was there's, do you know how crazy hard it is to find a therapist right now? It's actually insane. My friend is trying to find one and it's harder to find that than Adderall. Yeah, it's crazy because you can do like you can do and cheap eggs. Okay. Hate that I started laughing at that before I even listened. It's kind of my thing. Is that what you think about what I said? Well, you got so excited to say it. I was like, yeah.

Cheap eggs. Eggs are expensive. It was a joke about the economy. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Is this the first you're hearing about this? About Ian's bad humor? Oh, no, I know the egg thing.

I thought he said, and she begs. He said, and cheap eggs. Well, she begs the question, where have you been? Listen, just sit a little further away. It's upsetting. It's a little upsetting. Just sit a little further away. Yeah, thanks so much.

Take your phone over there so you have all your things. Nobody wants that. Oh God. I got new jeans. They're bad. No holes. Why are they so light? What? Look how light they are. They're a light wash. The lightest wash you could find. They're bad. No holes. Why are they so light? What? Look how light they are. They're

a light wash. They're cool. Spring wash. It's you don't think they're cool? You know, I was wearing a similar wash on my way over here and I said, these are too light. Yeah. Okay. Well guess what? You two talk. Now go change. Okay. Thank you. Dress it up a little. Oh, my God. What happened? You just ran into Ethan. I really like that kind of gave me a little something, some juice. Telling a man to go change. Yeah, I feel good about that. Yeah. Yeah. It's the only benefit of this podcast. I turned on. Yeah, it's nice. He likes it, too.

You can really just tell him to do anything and he'll do it. It's crazy, actually. Pretty much anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Except for be him to do anything and he'll do it. It's crazy actually. Pretty much anything. Yeah. Yeah. Except for be a straight man. He won't do that. No. No, he can't.

Well, it's boring. What were we talking about before he left? Before he came in here with his disgusting jeans on. Andy holding the baby on stage. No, we were talking about, you were asking about the- The therapist? No, the, talking about, um, you were asking about the, the, no, the choice. Oh, the fucking,

Oh, the multiverse choice. Thank you so much for getting that because I was not helpful. The multiverse choice of Rosebud choosing baby versus choosing not baby. Yes. And I do it every day. And then I was saying that I think it's, I think it's actually really a very interesting choice for women to not have a kid. Because I think that's the harder choice to make in a way. Like, societally speaking, I think either way you're kind of fucked because like... My fear is that all the statistics that are being sent to me by my mother actually, because she doesn't want me to have kids that says Being being a woman you're happier if you don't have kids like those I'm getting so many of those sent to me

Yeah, like women are 95% happier. You don't have children I'm like, I think what that is is when they ask like say they go up to you Yeah, and then they go up to a woman who didn't choose kids. You're gonna be like, I'm doing good. I'm doing fine Yeah, they're gonna be like I'm the best I've ever been I don't have kids and I'm like they have to justify more so I think excuse the data But I think first of all, I don't think it's I don't think it skews the data I think that we're less likely to believe a woman is happy if they if they don't have kids because society

pressures you into it so hard I Agree, and I also think these are good. Those are pretty good. Yeah. I think they're too short and small and tiny. Looks like Jason Ellis gave those to you. Yeah. We're not a different pair. Yeah. Get a different pair, would

you? Thank you so much. God, disgusting. I don't know, though. I don't think that they know the I don't think I think that the, I don't think, I think that there's a relativity of happiness where they're as happy as they have got. It's like what you were saying where you're like, I'm as happy as I got doing this thing. But then you leveled up. I don't think you can compare something.

Well, it's like, I was curious about, I was so curious about having a kid that I couldn't shake it. And so that was like, at the end of the day, that was like what made me go, I'm so curious about this experience. I don't want to miss out on it. And I also like really had enough, I had enough times where I was like, maybe, no, maybe, no. With Schmarshmarshrens?

Yeah, yeah, with Schmarshmarshrens and also the free ones. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, all right, by the time I got pregnant, I was like, okay, let's fucking do this. I'm ready to do this, you know. That's good. Yeah.

I've never had a smoshmoshren, so I'm worried that I- Oh, you haven't? And I've tried. I mean, not tried, but you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah. I've been, for all intents and purposes, getting loads of cum bloated. Unsafe, yeah.

Yeah. Let me just put it this way. People have been jerking off into my vagina. Riddled with disease, no babies. No babies. It's crazy. Yeah. So I should get my...

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Did you have to do anything? What do you mean? Like testing and shit for IVF? Or did you just... I didn't do any testing for IVF because I had been pregnant enough times

where it was like, clearly I can get pregnant. Yeah. But the question is, yeah. Yeah. Really bad. Why are they so skinny? Bad. I have to get them skinny because I wear them for a long time and then they stretch and wear out. Not if you get them already big and they don't stretch. They just fit good. It's probably why they're ripping seeing the first- Not if you get them already big, then they don't stretch, they just fit good. It's probably why they're ripping too. Yeah, not if you get them regular size. I like these.

I wanna see you come down here in like a Kendrick Lamar, like flared jean. These are good. You don't like these? Let me see, stand up. It's a better wash. It's the best wash yet, quite tight. They're the same as yours.

I'm a woman. And yours. Also a woman. Yeah. And I'm a woman on the inside. So these are great. All right. Well, I can't argue with that.

Huh? I like my jeans. Oh yeah, get a pair of dickies. I like my jeans. Tight, short. That's it. You see that? And you don't like these? They're too tight. No touching. Jeans shopping. You and me. You just went jean shopping. I'll go again.

What do you know tomorrow? I buy the same jeans. I buy 501s over and over. These are 502s. Where are 502s? 502s and 512s. Those are the ones I wear. Me and Sagala went. I got him to get a hat. You know that hat he's wearing now? Helped him get it. Is it a fitted? No.

Oh, okay, good. I'm a fan of... Ethan? Look at Ethan's pants. see how they're baggy? I don't like the baggy. I like what I like and I'm not gonna change for anyone unless you would think I should. That's great, you're becoming an old man. Yeah, I would have loved those when I was 13.

I am my final form of Bernie Sanders in a lawn chair. I'm really enjoying all of our friends getting old. Yeah. I'm really enjoying it. Me our friends getting old. Yeah. I'm really enjoying it. Like watching us like look around and be like, I don't like this. Yeah. Any new comic. And we're like, no, no. What are the words you say? I'm not used to it and I'm not comfortable. Yeah. Think about that. It add more weight. Yeah. Friends will go to orgies. I'm like, what do you do with your, what do you take your coat off? And there's lockers. You get water. There are lockers. Yeah.

You put everything in a locker and you hold the key around your wrist. So you're just naked and flip flops. They have like threesomes and stuff. They like meet up for dates and threesomes. And I'm like, you have a coat room. You, you, you, you make it work. Do you go like on your market set, everybody get naked, go, or do you like take each other's towels off? I feel like it's probably like a more one person leads it. You know, it's like there's a leader that helps. It's like if you go to the fucking the baths, the Turkish baths or something,

it's like there's a certain amount of organization, but it's also just like, it's like visiting the Y. Yeah. Yeah. You check in. Yeah. Take your coat off. You get get down to business. Yeah. But I've had friends who are in a couple, they meet up with a person to fuck that person. Yeah.

And then I'm like, but you meet up with one person to fuck one person, so it's probably the same. Yeah, it's the same thing. They're all comfortable with the idea. You hang out, you're all comfortable, you know, or if you go to a sex club. I also don't meet up with one person to fuck at all.

I wear people down until finally they have to sleep at my house. Or she makes her opener wait in the car and play Sudoku while she goes up and fucks her other opener. He wasn't my other opener. He was a... Wait, this is a real story. Yeah. Holy shit. Oh, he did a guest set. My bad. When you go to a sex club, you have like a locker, you put your stuff in, you wait in line, you make friends in the line, you go into a sex club, you have like a locker, you put your stuff in, you wait in line, you make friends in the line, you go into a shower stall, and you and a guy you met named Tyler blow each other, and then guys keep opening the door,

and then you go, stop it! I've heard. Have you been to a sex party? My friend said you have to wear shoes. That was how I was like, I'll never do this. I'm not gonna be taking you. You wanna walk around. You went to one?

Really? Yeah. Wow. What was it like? I wasn't a huge fan. I didn't like the carpet. Carpet? Yeah, I was like, I don't like that there's carpet.

Carpet? Yeah. Cummy, cummy carpet? Yeah. With lube and stuff. Listen, it was dark. I didn't like, I wasn't't looking at it for too long, but I was like, this can't be,

I feel like we found the wrong place. We don't know this world. We found something online and we went there and I was like, this can't be it. Was it in New York? It was in New York. A girl tried to get me to go to a sex club with her in San Antonio and I was like, yeah, let's go.

And then I thought about it and I was like, I'm not San Antonio. Yeah. I know. I don't want to be naked wearing a cowboy hat. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't listened to someone talk about their abuela. Yeah saw the roughest thing the other night. One of the hosts was talking in a Mexican accent and then a comet got up and started dogging him and was like, how can you? It's like just because he has a mustache doesn't mean he can talk like that. And then it was the hardest bomb I've ever seen in my life. And it was, I know who the host was.

Yeah, yeah. It was just one of those classic you go up there and you try and be do the virtue signal thing. And it just who was the virtue signal? I can't say I'll say I'll say don't do that on the pot. It's just a comment. I'll never say. OK, you'll tell us. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Cool. But I've never had that happen where you go up and say something about the host and then the whole world,

the whole universe of comedy humiliates you and teaches you never to do that again? That would happen when I would MC, I'd build up great will with the crowd and then like the first com could go up and shit on me for like a joke about like, this guy looks like, and the crowd would be like, but we like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But never in a sense of like, I've seen it happen a lot. Admonishing the comic for their act. I've never seen that. Although Amanda sales did that to Adrian Appaloochee at the stand. I waited afterwards. I was like, that was really fucked up. What you did. Did that told Adrian what just shot on Adrian's act? Which is wild because, on Adrian's act, which is wild because I mean, you could not find somebody without more of a less funny. Like, Oh, I thought you were talking about Adrian. Adrian's amazing. There's nothing you could say about Adrian. Other than that, you know, you're offended, but it's

like, if you're a comic and you don't have jokes, how the fuck are you shitting on Adrian? I feel like a weird protection of Adrian because so many people get her wrong because they'll hear a thing and they won't digest it. So they'll hear it and shut it off and be like, oh, like this woman outside the cell was like, I didn't like that one. She's racist. And I go, no, she's not racist. You're wrong. You're completely wrong. And she's funny. There was a whole room of people laughing.

You're not all right with yourself. People love, I mean, especially at the cellar audiences will love to just be like, that one, that one was bad for this way. This one was- I think any audience, they come up and they'll go like, that's my favorite part about featuring is like, you go feature for somebody and then the audience comes up

and they go like, it should have, you should have been the headliner. And you're like, I know. And then they fuck, and then you do like 20 minutes of work a night. And then you just go like to a really nice hotel room that you can't afford. The nicest hotel room dinners bought for you.

They think you're the best. And you're like, yeah, I just chose my best 20 minutes. They're working on new material. Best job in comedy. It's the best job in comedy. Attelle always told me is like, you were going to do well no matter what. So if you're not going new and then I'm not bringing you on the road,

if you're not trying to build your act through this, then I'm not bringing it. And I was like, whoa. And he would always force me to like work, which was great. And then in the green room, we would joke and I'd say something, you'd be like, try it. And I would. And then he'd go on stage and I could hear him and he'd do a joke and it would crush and go, it's called new material Ian, try it. What the fuck?

Dude, I told you the other day, I called him after the Super Bowl and he picks up and he goes, from the Super Bowl to the Super Boar, what do you want? How about when you're walking, or has this ever happened to you guys, you're walking from like one location in the village to the next,

and you hear people be like, yeah, I didn't really like that third guy, and you're the third guy. And you're like. And you're just like, oh my God. I know that's happened to me, but I can't remember. I feel like, you know, when something like that happens to you,

you think like, I'm never gonna forget this, this fucking asshole, you know, but then it just fucking goes out of your... There's so many fucking traumatic nights in comedy that I feel like... I know. How many did we have at like 206 Lounge? Remember that? Oh my God, dude. How many nights? Yeah, just the amount of nights that I sat sitting on top of that trash can outside of the fucking lantern. Yeah. With weird Greg Fox, Craig Fox. Remember that guy?

Oh yeah. I don't remember Craig Fox. I remember that name, but I don't remember him. What is he looking for? He ran the lantern and you'd have to like hug him in order to do his part. Remember? Yeah, and he had B.O.

I don't remember. He wasn't running the lantern then when I was doing it. Yeah, he was like in the third iteration from when we came in. Okay, okay. Yeah, because the guy that the one that we came up with was like He was like a meth head that I would see at meetings and we would be paying to do time this is like when we were doing open mics and It was like the laughing Buddha thing. Yeah, and he was a fucking like, he was just using comics money to like go relapse and shoot crystal meth.

Oh my God. And I'd be sitting in meetings going like, I fucking paid for you to do that. God damn it. Yeah. You know what I mean? He was like a straight up criminal. Oh yeah. Dude, there, there was that whole world of bringer. There was like a straight up criminal. Oh yeah, dude, there was that whole world of bringer.

There was like a bringer mafia for a while. We shouldn't say his name actually, right? No, no, no. We didn't say his name, did we? Did we? I feel like we did. I said Craig Fox. No, but okay, we didn't say the guy, the laughing Buddha guy.

No, no, no, no. I think I said his first name. I think you did too, I feel like you did. I did. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. You did, I'll cut it. Everybody, spring is coming and it's time to show off those thighs, guys.

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these shirts are built to kick back or turn up. For a limited time only during the Chubby Spring Break sale. All shorts and swimwear is 35% off with select styles up to 65% off. Can you believe it? Now that's how you do Spring Break, my babies. So head over to chubbyshorts.com and take advantage while you can. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubbies. Click the link on the show description to get the discounts and feel good. Yeah, bye. Okay, cool, cool. I remember seeing lots of relapses,

like somebody come in one week and be like, I'm clean, and then the next week they're like blacked out at the creek. Yeah. Oh, I did that at fucking the Grizzly Pear. And I got people to get me shots. And I was like, and I go, is it funny? I fucking relapse last week. And I like did the shot and I threw it on the ground. And some girl goes, that's not funny. Oh, no. You just look at her. You go, you're right.

You just, you look at her, you go, you're right. You're right, I'm sorry. Silence, that's not funny. Just after breaking a glass, I was like, what? You're like, oh, I thought that was gonna be really punk. I know. It's so nice when it happens now. Like when you just see somebody lose their shit at the cellar or something too drunk,

and you're like, yeah, that's right, let's get a little taste of this again. But it used to happen so much, it used to be like somebody would wander in on acid and just be like chewing on the side of a chair. You'd be like doing it open mic, being like, ah, he's barfing, he's throwing up. You know, it rarely happens.

Dude, the amount of fucking insanity that like, I feel like that's why I cried when Andy brought Minnow to like a show that wasn't even like a show at the, you know, it wasn't like a, it was like a bar show. And I remember- You wanted to like shield her from it? Yeah, I was just like, keep her the fuck out of there. I don't want her on stage with you.

You look insane, you know? Like that's crazy. He only looked insane because she was dwarfing him and it looked like she was doing stand up. Yeah, I was also like, we have money. What are you doing? You don't have to be doing that. Yeah, I was also like, we have money. What are you doing? You don't have to be doing that. Yeah, I know.

That's... That kid is so cute. You picking Andy's side when he's not even here. You're a good friend. You're a good friend. Have you guys been having a easy time trading baby for- Trading? Yeah, trading off the baby for work and stuff.

Yeah, like for a beaver pelt, you trade the baby. I think it's not easy because it's like, you don't, it's so easy to be married to another comic. It's really tough to have a baby with another comic. Cause you're like, you're so used to like solo sport shit. Like even as a married couple, it was like, we spent half of our marriage in like a long distance marriage. You know, it's like he'd be on the road, then I'd be on the road. And it was like, we did whatever the fuck we wanted.

But I feel like you kind of had practice because you used to bring Alabama everywhere. And so that's kind of like having like a baby in a sense. You know? But it wasn't like I had to check with someone else before I did it. That's the part that fucked me up. So I was like, oh, I can't leave the house without like texting him or like letting him know

or asking if we can, if he can watch her so that I can leave the house. Like it was, that was like a massive change. Shift, yeah. Well, I was talking to Andy the other night and he told me, cause you guys have those, what? I was like, uh oh. So you did a thing.

And he told me, kill me, kill me. I wanted to bring this up. No! No, but like having access to the baby at all times through a camera or like the thing that has it like whining and everything. Like what? Huh? What's what thing?

The baby mom. Yeah, the baby mom. The baby mom. The baby mom. That would be a really good company. That's a good idea. The baby mom or the name of like a softball team. Why? I'm going about what you're saying.

Baby mom. OK, the baby mom. Baby mom is a good. It's a good sponsor for a softball team. It's just a Jamaican lady in the room goes. Miserable, but the baby don't look happy now. Is your nanny is your nanny? Filipina. Young, old?

Not a worry for Andy to stray. Not old, but not young. I always wonder what my nanny would be. I always imagine a very old woman for some reason. I don't know why. I don't know about that cause I'm gonna schlep my mom. I thought about that and I was like,

what if something happens? Yeah, she's old. And like, then we're then we're taking care of an old woman. But don't you want the old motherly, like maternal, like Mrs. Doubtfire type of, you know, like a cross dresser raising your children? Who's like 70. Yeah, I would like that. Like like a a nurturing

for a person. No, I want I want a nanny that like I would hang out with like a nurturing person. No, I want I want a nanny that like I would hang out with, you know what I mean? She's coming on the road with us. Like, yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Are you guys doing a tour together? No. So we don't like tour together because it's like it gets weird because he he's a headliner and I'm a headliner. So it's like then it feels like same with us.

Yeah. Yeah. It's different because they love each other. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Well. Fair. Yeah. You know, we're married, so we love each other-ish.

We also fucking hate each other because we have a kid together. I know. How do you balance the like. Did it change? Yeah, did it change? Yeah, it did. It didn't with a baby didn't rejuvenate the love.

I didn't make the inside of your body be like, I love this thing. Of course, there's moments where I'm like, oh, that's so fucking cute. Oh, he's so good with her and leading moments. But there's also fleeting. Every moment is fleeting. OK, like I look at him and I'm like, you're a fucking moron. You know, like the way he holds her, I'm just like, I'm like, how the fuck do you think that's okay?

You know? And they're like, so it's just like, it constantly goes between the two. Where I'll be like, why would you ever think that, like he texted me, hey, she's crying, should I go in there? And I was like, are you fucking retarded was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, Yeah. Yeah, totally. That like annoys me. So that he can justify not going in with your lack of response. And then I feel like he's going to get he's going to hear this

and be so defensive. So I just I do need to say that I guess I love him. No, he is an incredible fucking dad. Like I when I look at like my friends with kids and I, I'm like, holy fucking shit that I look out. Like I do not have a leg to stand on in terms of like complaining. He's such a caring, compassionate, kind. He really is.

Wonderful man. Yeah, he really is. Like I- And it fucked his shit up though when he had the kid with all his, he got super existential. Oh, he got crazy. I don't wanna talk to him about it, yeah. Yeah, he was like, I mean, he still has his moments where he says something that's like,

time isn't linear. And I'm like, everything's fine. He's really is like, he was doing shit like that. And I was, I was experiencing the biggest hormone drop of my life. I was like, can you shut up please? I'm like, I'm already scared. I've got a fucking dinner plate sized hole in my stomach. And you're going in like, is she still breathing? I'm like, oh my God.

Fucking shit. Well, he told me he was in a green room and he had one of those mometers and was like looking at the baby and it turned over and he was going to everyone. Is this all right? Do you think she's dead? That's what I'm saying.

I'm like, this is not fair, which is kind of, it's also unfair to me because he kind of got me back. Cause for the first like 15 weeks of my pregnancy, I'd be in the middle of like a workout or like doing the dishes and I'd be like, it's dead. my pregnancy, I'd be in the middle of like a workout or like doing the dishes and I'd be like, it's dead. He'd be like, why, why would you do that? It was just like, I would just, I would like have a moment where I didn't feel

pregnant and I'd be like, it's dead. I had no faith. I had no faith that it was gonna make it. That she was gonna make it. I should say she. She is a human being. It's dead. It's dead.

Finally, he had to be like, I'm also involved in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so what doing the dishes. We lost her. Were you like trying to move her a lot to like feel? I just just shaking your belly. Hello. Anything before you're like 20 weeks and I and I was like, I'm like, yeah, my tits are

huge and I'm tired all the time. But like, oh yeah, if I had a moment where I felt like I was energized or normal, I'd be like, it's dead. You know what I mean? Like I booked a whole tour thinking like, there's no way it's going to make it. Well, you shot your special pregnant and then not pregnant. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. I shot it. Well, I shot an hour pregnant and then I waited a year, a year after I had the baby and then I shot another hour. And if you had already sold it to Netflix, you're gonna wait, or? I sold it to them before I shot the second half. Right, oh, okay.

You shot the first half. Pregnant. And then you were like, look, here's the first half, and they were like, okay, cool. No, no, no, no. So I, to be fully honest, I was like, I wanna shoot a special, but again, I booked the tour being like, I don't think it's gonna last, you know what I mean?

The pregnancy? The pregnancy. So I was like, let's book the tour. And then by the end of the tour, at the beginning of the tour, I was like, I want to shoot an hour at the end of this, but I also don't know if this is gonna be a full hour. And I don't have full faith in it. I was talking to Ryan Hamilton and he was like,

dude, you should just do, just shoot part of it now and then shoot part of it later. And I was like, holy fuck, yeah. So I just, I mean, I have to give credit where it's due. Like he fucking, I wouldn't have come up with this without him. He was like, and he came up with it essentially. But like, I was like, let me do this.

I'll shoot half of it. And then when I when Netflix reached out to ask if I could do that seven minute thing, I kind of was like, I need this material for my hour. And they were like, OK, we'll buy your hour when I explained the concept. Yeah. So that was like how it was done. And then I just wrote a new seven minutes for Netflix and like kept that. What is it called? The mother load. The mother load.

Yeah. Mother load. That's great. Thank you. And then when is it out? It's out February 18th. It's coming. This episode will be out by then. Hell, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Do you love it? Are you happy with it? Who shot it? I'm happy with it. You know what I mean? I love it now.

So like I'll enjoy loving it right now because I will probably hate it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like eventually, like everything I've ever done, I've ended up hating later. So like I really love it now. I'm really proud of it. Hopefully that doesn't change, but, um, Jason Katz shot it. Um, I directed that was the, by the way, the most fun I've ever had was directing, telling people what to do. It was so fucking fun. What did you do? Yeah. What do you mean you directed?

So I directed like all of the intro and like everything like the shots I like I would get in front of the camera. I'd be like, I don't want to I don't want anything going further out I was like when we do like I was in the edit being like nothing if we're doing a fucking You know when you're cutting these jokes like keep it wide on the premise, punch in on the punch lines, shit like that. Like it wasn't, you know, it's not fucking, I'm not fucking doing good fellas, but I was like, you know, it was fun to direct

because I hadn't had that level of control over something before. And it was cool. I was like, I had more fun doing like, okay, so you're gonna follow me this way. Like I need you to punch in, I need you to get this out. Like all of that was, and then like shooting the two pictures a year apart in the same booth,

like with Minnow on my lap in one and then pregnant on the other, like all of that shit was really- It's such an interesting concept. Fun to do, yeah. The pregnant, not pregnant, you know? I almost dropped it to be honest. Why?

Cause I was like, when I shot the second hour, I was like, I'm so proud of this that I hate the first. I don't even want the first involved. Yeah. And I was like, I don't want to just like stick to a concept because I had it. Right. I want it to be the best like thing, the editor, she sent me, the first pass was a cut of both of them together and a cut of just the second hour.

And it was such a good cut of the two together that I was like, I think I'm gonna go with, this is more interesting to watch. You know? Yeah. Did you wear the same outfit? I wore all black for both. Yeah. And it was at VU. It was at VU. Oh, yeah. Did you wear the same outfit? I wore all black for both, you know.

And it was at VU? It was at VU. And then the first, is the first half about being pregnant and then the second is about giving birth or is it just all material, that yours? It's all material that like is about, it's about like not wanting kids, getting pregnant by accident,

having a miscarriage, doing IVF, getting pregnant naturally after IVF. Then pregnancy. Oh, I didn't know you did IVF. Wow, I didn't know you got pregnant naturally. Yeah. Yeah. So IVF didn't take?

No, we got six embryos out of IVF. Right. You did the whole thing? Yeah. Isn't it a nightmare to do that? Not compared to pregnancy. To take the eggs and stuff? No, that's solved.

There's like fentanyl involved. It was fantastic. Wow. Great. Yeah. Pretty good. How was the birth? I chose.

C-section? Yeah, I chose a C-section. I was like, I'm not. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah, it was just like, I want to do that. Yeah. It felt like I was reading on like Reddit when I was like,. Yeah, I was just like, I want to do that. Yeah.

It felt like I was reading on like Reddit when I was like, you know, I didn't know that I had to come up with my own birth plan and I like read through Reddit and somebody was like, C-sections are the easy way out. And I was like, yes, please. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I just went with that.

It's the easy way out unless my sister did a C-section, but the baby started, the baby was like, I'm leaving. I am getting out of here and started coming out of her vagina. And the doctor was like, I'm going to split you in the middle. And she was like, but the baby's almost out. And then they had to cut her open and basically like. Oh, what the fuck? She would have just shot out the vagina because she was like cruising.

What they didn't have that doctor. Did she labor before the C-section? Like did she? I guess she went into labor, went to the hospital and they were like, this baby is on its way out. And they were like, well, we don't have that doctor. We have the C-section doctor

and you have to stick to the plan. And she was like, just pull it out of my vagina. And they were like, sorry. That's crazy. Yeah, no, mine was like a scheduled C-section. I wasn't like, I didn't go into labor or anything. I was like, I mine was like a scheduled c-section. I wasn't like I didn't go into labor or anything I was like, I'm not it just Just opened me up delivered

Fantastic awesome. So we did it and then you're like paralyzed for three days. It was great You didn't you did IVF. It didn't take and then we did take so like what do you mean? You got pregnant naturally. So by accident it, I did IVF. We got the embryos, right? Which is just like, IVF is the process of getting either freezing your eggs or your embryos. Right. Right. Now once you have to come in embryos have to be implanted after you get the embryos and they come through the fallopian tubes. How do they take the eggs out? They take a needle They put it through your two eggs are expensive and they suck them out Yeah, they're about 20 inflation. We're like inflammation

Okay, so they stuck they they stick the how big are the eggs for crying out loud what do you mean? Are they tiny they have shells? How big could they possibly be, Jordan? Are they microscopic? Could I see one? Are they the size of this? I don't know. I never even asked, to be honest.

But it comes out in a fluid? I need to know. I would imagine they're really tiny. And they take them? They take them out of your ovaries, right? I think they take, but they put it needle. Via the fallopian tubes. I think, I don't know. I'm not a fucking doctor. Okay. Did this, did the needle go into the vagina or through the belly,

through the belly, it goes through your vagina, through the vaginal wall, whatever that is. And then into your ovaries. And then they suck them out through your ovaries and then they freeze them. So in like, in like little vials. Like cubes. Little cubes. Yeah, if you want little like heart shaped cubes, you could do that.

Yeah. But I was like, so I just thought, okay, we have our embryos and we can implant them when we're ready to have a kid. But two months later, I got pregnant naturally. By him coming in you. Yeah. While I had covid. And I was like, yeah.

So I was just like, oh, you'll have a good six six. Yeah. My parents got conceived while they were sick. Yeah, we can tell. I was conceived over a breakup. It reads, oh, we can tell. Oh, for real? That's sexy. That's sexy.

And then they stayed together, which was a mistake. So if you don't do it naturally, does he cum on the eggs? Don't be a fucking moron. Dude, one of my moms tried to do it and they did do cum. She had to sit upside down with her legs up and put the cum in. The turkey baster?

Yeah. With a friend's semen. Yeah, I mean, that's one way to do it. It's crazy. It's crazy how it's so just bizarre, like food, food calvary. You can freeze them and then put it back in. I know, it really, to me, it was kind of crazy to be like,

oh, I could like plan this out perfectly so that I could take Like a year off of like my career or whatever and then once we got pregnant. I was like well. Oh, okay Well, let's see so wait my question is I'm still having a hard time you took the eggs Did I just get pregnant again? That was amazing. That was cool. That was like a lunar eclipse. That was great. That was awesome. You'll never see that again. We got the clip! That was great. Yeah. So they pumped your eggs out of your body. So you take the six eggs out and then you, Andy will artificially inseminate them later, right? No, those are embryos now.

So they took Andy's sperm, they took the eggs, they took Andy's sperm, they combined them together, right? We got six embryos out of that process. So while I'm getting this surgery, Andy's in the next room jerking off, right? Just having a great time. Was it the same session? Yeah. Wow.

Did you guys talk to each other over like intercoms? No, I would have fucking lost my mind with him. Do you want me to come down? How is it in there? You having fun? I'm over here getting a fucking needle through my vagina. While you were getting needled, he was getting, he was just fucking just to someone else, which really fucking pisses me off.

You know what I mean? They should have a glory hole situation. So you can just like jerk them like that. Yeah. You know, it's really more work. That's the process of being a man and a woman is you are getting impaled with a weapon. The whole thing was, I was like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. Yeah. You know, it's really a lot more work. That's the process of being a man and a woman is you are getting impaled with a weapon. No, I the whole thing was I was like, how is this the most political experience of my

life? It's crazy. I'm like, this is fucked up. I was so mad. Everything's good. Yeah, they're like they're walking him into his little jerk off throne and I'm just fucking I'm on a table. He looks at a different woman's photo. Yes. Not OK. I was like, but I did get fentanyl and he didn't. So I kind of I came out of it.

I was like, you know what? It women went in the end. Yeah, it did even out. But so then they got these embryos, they put them in the freezer. Yes. They're like, when you're ready, we can implant these and you can have a baby. And it's your it's yours and Andy's baby. But they didn't implant them and you just fucked regular. And so you could have just not done the

IVF and you still would have gotten pregnant is what my question is. Yeah. Cause I'd been pregnant twice before that, but both of them were miscarriages. Which I also talk, yeah, I guess so. But I was like, I figured, you know, like, let's just wait until we're like fully ready. Cause you know, two miscarriages, you're like, do I even fucking want to do this again? So then, and I, and I read that if you do IVF, you're way less likely to have a miscarriage.

So like the chances are like very slim. Right, right, right. Cause you know, they like test the embryos for like all kinds of shit. They make sure that like they're healthy embryos. That must be such a mind fuck and a complete like shattering of reality in your realm to go through that,

but then to continue again in the blind faith, like good God. That's why I was like, that's why I'd be doing the dishes and I'd be like, it's dead. Because I was just like, So scary. That's like what I was used to.

I cried so hard at the post that you made about the miscarriage. Really? Yeah. I cried so hard. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was really, really well written. It was crazy. I was like, what is going on? And I was just crying. It was a fucked up cause it was like, I'd be walking around the world and I was just like, after a while I felt like, okay,

nobody knows that this happened. And I'd be like, trying to do jokes about it and shit. And I was like, all of it just felt really fucking weird. I felt so different before and after that experience that I was like, I have to talk about this, you know? So like this whole special is like the process of like five years of shit that we'd gone through. And I was like, I just want it felt like by the time I went on tour, I was like, I don't know if

this is the full store. I really want to get to the end of this and see what the full thing is. You know? And so we made the whole special and now it feels like I narrowed it down. It's so funny how like you can take five years of material and you just like at the end of the day, that five years, you get one hour out of that, you know, where you're like, this is ready to be seen. I've told you this before, but I think you're such a tough cookie. I've, I've admired like your approach to talking about your sister's death on stage. That like inspired me to work on and write jokes about my dad dying, which was something I could never do or push through to the acceptance of the crowd to understand that I was comfortable

with it because I feel like the crowd would always pick up on like, this is still raw for him and I couldn't get through it. And then seeing you plow through that, like I'm telling you, like you, it really inspired me to like talk about these things, push through, don't give up and find the funny in it without backing down. And so I really admire that and thank you for that. Yeah. And you wouldn't crack. I remember being like, Oh my God, this is getting too dark. They're feeling it too dark. And you would just hold solid and be like, I don't give a fuck. And then they would break.

Because you know what I mean? Whereas I would go dark and I'm like, is that weird? Is that bad? I didn't mean it. My dad's alive still, I swear to God. It's crazy. I've been on stage going, my life, not yours. I've been saying that so much.

Cause they go, oh, and I go, it's my life, not yours. It's crazy. To me, it's like, that was the thing that I kind of I think for comics, it's harder to like, because it's not like we're having a difficult time with it. It's like we're having a difficult time with the fact that they're having a difficult time. Yeah, of course. Like, so I was like. Well, also if you, if the crowd likes you, have your like this shiny thing to them and then seeing that the shiny thing could hurt

upsets them in this like tribalistic way. So then they feel bad. Like they're laughing at you when you're just trying to deepen the experience with them. I'm gonna counterpoint that. Okay, go for it. I don't think an audience is looking at any of the three of us and going, what a shiny thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As you pack more jaw on your lip. I'm vaping. We're burping together. Yeah, I'm like,

I feel like they know we come with a couple scars and shit, you know? But I do, I get what you're saying. I do get what you're saying, yeah. Do you remember when you and I roasted each other? Isn't that crazy that that existed for a period of time? Yeah. Dude, remember I read you those roast jokes in the car

on the way to Ferri? For Erica's Ferri? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh shit. Dude, he just called her a horse the entire time and then the last thing he said, he pulled out a carrot and started eating it. Or, and offered it to her. Which is so funny. That's fucking crazy. I had the most fun like that year where it was like

roast battle just like took over New York. I did 16 roast battles. Dude, you were like the queen of that. I fucking loved it. And I was like, it was a fun experience to like work on the jokes and like figure things out and everything. And I remember you and I met and it turned into like a therapy session. It was like, wow, this is really fun. Every time you do it, you know what it kind of reminded me of? It felt like Survivor because you would go and you would meet the person that you're roasting and you would share like the most intimate details of your life with each other. And then you'd go home and be like,

what a fucking asshole. And you just fucking poison on the page. I mean, it's so funny that that existed because they were like so brutal and like we're just saying the worst things and everyone loved it. By the end it was such a fucked up, because you could almost make fun of the premise of every roast battle joke. It would be like Ian's dad died and his mom fucking hates him. You know, like whatever.

You'd be like, you just make up, yeah, you just say something fucking horrific. And then whatever the joke was, was like whatever. Yeah, yeah, totally. But it was like whatever. Yeah. Yeah, totally But it was like to me. I think by the end of it I just started hearing the premises and being like oh my fucking god. Also at the end of it. It's like I get it Yeah, I have sex with men. Mine was always every time I was roasted was she's a lesbian. She's a lesbian Yeah, yeah, he's gay. He's gay. It's like all right. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not gay

Yeah, he's gay. He's gay. It's like, all right. I'm not. I'm not gay. It did. It felt like, like, it just got old. I'm glad it existed when it did, because again, it was, it was like a good writing process to go through. And I feel like we all like did it together. But and then I feel like it went to a weird thing where like, you know, not to be, you know, judgmental, but we were all in like kind of the same class of it, I guess, and then underneath it started to be like- It hit the lower class, which got rough. Yeah, and then it was just like, ugh.

It was a bunch of they, thems doing it. And then they were being like, they, them is the joke. Yeah, like no jokes. Yeah. I remember being asked to like judge them in like a lesser venue. I remember, like there was like a shittier venue that it moved towards and people were still doing it. And this was like two years after the, I was like, you guys got to give it up.

Yeah. It was a weird fad though. It was crazy. It kind of was. They still do it in LA. I judge it at the store a couple months ago. Yeah. Isn't that a bit grim?

Isn't that one kind of grim? Oh yeah. Yeah. I saw one in the creek in the cave. I was watching what the kids do it. And one of them said, your face, it looks like your face is left-handed. And I was like, that's the best. This is-

Do you remember who said that? That's hilarious. The kid was, the kid who said about his face was so fucking weird. And when the, it was like this, it was this big fat guy who was so funny and he just goes, you look like your face is left-handed. And I was like, that's so good.

I really liked that. But yeah, New York, it was not like that. It was not like bizarre, ulti. It was like, you're a fat piece of shit and your parents are dead. Yeah, it was like that. Every woman, it was just like fat, ugly, giant pussy. And you're like, yeah, it is.

OK, all right. Yeah. I feel like it was like a really good way to when we were doing it. It was like a good way to get in front of comics that you really respected to show them that you could write jokes. You know, that was like to me, it was like a good vehicle for that. And also, it kinda taught me, I was like, if I just did this with my own fuckin' act, you know what I mean?

With the same level of work that I was putting into the roast battles, then I'm like, I'll have a new 30 minutes that's like, good. Well, it makes you see, if I take this topic, a person, and I have to write. Five punch lines. Yeah, it's like I can Well, it makes you see like if I take this topic, a person and I have to write five punchlines. Yeah. It's like I can do that with whatever, with whatever the topic is. And any writing packets that you were submitting. Yeah. Yeah. How is SNL speaking of writing packets?

It's good. I mean, I I'm at Update this year, which is which is good, which is good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Casey, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, you're on KC, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's awesome. She's awesome. I fucking love KC. Yeah, she's the best.

It's like a really good job in the sense of like, when you, it's harder for me to focus on my own standup than it was when I was a sketch writer, you know? Which kind of sucks, but it's, at the same time, when I do get a chunk of time off, like my brain is already in like joke mode. So like what I do is I just keep a list of premises in my phone and then when I get time off, I just write.

You know? Is it all day? It's all day. Yeah, it's like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, we write from whatever time we get in until the end of the day. And you have like three to four pages or three to five pages of jokes of like headlines that you have to write jokes on. So way easier than regular and not had sketch update than sketch.

Yeah, for me. Yeah. Yeah. I would imagine for New Yorkers, it would be way easier to do. It's easier, I think, if you're a stand up. Yeah. Is the sketch room just full of like, here's the thing that I fuckin- People and suspenders and twirly hats. No, I mean, like sketch, I have a fucking brand new, like respect for sketch writers, because I would go in there and be like, I have a great idea for a sketch and I would pitch them one joke. And they'd be like, great. So then, so where does it go from there? And I'd be like, eh, what? Like I didn't, I just didn't,

I thought that the joke would carry through nine fucking pages. And it's like, no, babe, like this has to be a game. And I was like, it took me, I still don't, like I can write a sketch now well, but I can't write a sketch I feel like in SNL's voice. Like, so it's such a specific. Did it help influence your standup though, from like A to C-ing things?

For sure, because I was, when I got that job, I remember going in there and being like, all of my fucking standup is so dark. And I got in there and it was so silly and funny and just like, just a silly good time that I was like, oh yeah, this is, you can just be fucking silly. It doesn't have to make a point. It doesn't, you don't have to like expose something.

Yeah, you know, like. Do you think that's why you like your new hour more? Because you had that experience of getting into this thing and then that. Yes. Yeah. 100 percent. That's awesome. 100. A new hour. Wait, pregnant hour. You are still SNL, right? Yeah. Yeah. But just in terms of the new special, I like it more because it feels like

there was that influence of like. I was just in a room with a bunch of like silly, fun sketch writers every day, you know? And they're thinking, and when I hang out with kids that are like the comics that are like 20s, those kids, they think in cartoons. Yeah. Like they'll say things and I'll be like,

yeah, I don't like him that much. And they'll be like, cut to you're wearing his shirt. He's also wearing his shirt at the same time. And I'm like, how are you seeing that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just being around them makes me think like that. So I, yeah, every time I hang out with any of the young comics, I'm like, dude, you guys are just seeing funny images.

All day. What did Keegan say? It's mean culture. Who's the, who's the comic? It's not even that, it's actually even older than that. It's like fucking Looney Tunes. Like I watch Bugs Bunny now and I'm like, that's the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life.

Re-watching Looney Tunes is the best. It's so good. Yeah. Yeah, Keegan Tindalani on Kid said a comic was on stage who was doing like a Andrew Dice Clay, I forget his name, but he's like Andrew Dice Clay. And he was like, that guy looks like he flicks things. And I was like, what?

And then he just did an act out where he went with like a cigarette. J. And he was like, that guy looks like he flicks things. And I was like, what? And then he just didn't act out what he went with. And I was like, yes, he does look like he flicks things. Oh my God. They're really good with that. But yeah, sketch, all sketch people I respect so much. I can never think in sketches. It's really hard for me to think in sketch. Like I have to, it's just,

I think if you do something for long enough, you can kind of train your brain, but like it was really hard for me to like get from joke mode into sketch mode. Cause I was like, you almost have to relax that muscle to flex the other one. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You know?

Right. Did it, were you just bringing in jokes and then other sketch people would help you? Or was it? No, so like after like the first six months there, I was like, okay, so I can't just have a joke. I have to think of like, a joke is like a funny idea

or like a misdirect or something like that. But like a sketch is like a funny thing that could happen to someone. Yeah. You know, like it's like a little play or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like I was like, I can't, I gotta think about shit that happens in my own life

and why it felt so awkward or why it felt so bad and like find that funny thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. But I can't imagine the pressure of that, especially like you're on like hollowed ground among like- Dude, it's like you are walking through the halls and you're like seeing your heroes and

they're all just going like, you don't belong here. You know what I mean? And you're just like, no. Not to mention it is the hardest room to pitch in I've ever fucking experienced in my life. Oh, I couldn't imagine. Dude. I just imagined it being like. No, it is like you could say something that you think that is like the funniest thing you've ever heard or somebody else could say something that's the funniest thing you've ever heard. And no one laughs.

They all just go like, yeah, that'll work. You know, like it's. Who is it? Is it all the writers? It's all the writers. So like on the sketch side, you write all the sketches on Tuesday. They get picked by Wednesday.

You do the table read Wednesday. Thursday is rewrites. Friday is blocking. So on Thursday you go in and we go through all the sketches that got picked and we just pitch. We just pitch jokes on each of the sketches. So we read it page by page and you just sort of.

Is it scary because yours didn't get chosen from. Or it's like restructuring or whatever, you know. Like when you pitch, when everybody sends in on, what was it, Monday? On Tuesday. On Tuesday, everybody sends it in. Then Wednesday, who's the one, who decides these are the ones we're going with?

Lorne. And then is it scary on Wednesday when are they revealing it in front of everybody that yours didn't get chosen? Oh, actually, I don't know if Lorne is the one that, scary on Wednesday when are they revealing it in front of everybody that you're in pictures? I don't know if Lorne is the one that, no, it's like the producers and head writers are the ones that sort of like, yeah, get like, pick the sketches to go in front of Lorne. So sorry. And so you're like, and then when they are reading through them, are you in front of

everybody and that everybody knows that yours didn't get picked or did get picked? So nobody knows what you submitted that didn't get picked except for the people that could employ you the next year. Yeah, yeah. So you know and they know and it's tough to hide it cause you walk around and you're like, Yeah. You know what I mean?

But you do sit at the table and at the table read where like the cast is all going around and and you hear all the sketches out loud and then from those sketches that are those Get whittled down to 12 sketches. So there's like 36 sketches sometimes that get read and then that gets down to 12 Sketches and then when they're reading them are people like yes if it's theirs Or is it like, don't do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, it's a fine line, because it's like, if you're laughing really loud at your own sketch, everybody's like, shut the fuck up. You know what I mean? Like, it's a little bit of that. Is anyone pitching the same sketch every week to try to get through? No, I mean, that does happen for like a few weeks in a row.

Like if there's a sketch that somebody's having a hard time, like not like getting it on and they're not. Yeah, I mean, we've all I don't think there's anybody at SNL that has not had a week where they're like, yeah, I really tried to get that through. I gave that a solid three resubmits before they were like, you got to stop doing this. Oh, interesting. OK, so you can just push that through. Like I gave that a solid three resubmits before they were like, you gotta stop doing this. You know? Oh, interesting.

Okay, so you can just push it through. So we don't wanna pitch blind Uber driver again? No? Okay. No, and the worst part is like, you could try to make a joke like that and they're like, no. Oh my God.

Like it's like, you can't make a joke about your own failure. Cause it's like you can't you can't make a joke about your own failure because it's like, I don't know. I'm like, maybe they want you to be afraid or so. I don't know. I can't get behind the psychology of that. I don't really know. But like, but you all are a team. It is very cohesive. Well, it is like the team of people versus the producers and stuff like you guys are like the Marxist. It's a team in the same way that like my family is a team where it's like, yeah, we're all on the same team but we're also against each other.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. You know what I mean? We're all competing and we all remember your last failure. And you know what I mean? Like it's a little bit of that. Yes. So you're like, I don't want to give these people anything to, I don't want them to see my weakness,

but they all will. And it's unavoidable. And it's just, you gotta fucking eat shit. And you gotta like take your lumps. So that must have been such a relief to get to update then. It was, yeah, I was like, I basically was like, I would really love to move to update because I feel like I would be better off over there.

And also it's like a set two voices to write in. Yeah, and it's like, I know Che and I know Jost and I feel like my brain works better in joke mode. I felt like I was more useful on the sketch side as like around the table pitching or like pitching jokes for individual sketches. Like that just felt more like my speed and just like the way that I work. So yeah. How many people are on update? It's a much smaller team. It's like, one, two, three, four, five of us and then a head writer and then a producer. So you're just update is its own writing. So I, so you're just sitting writing up like headline jokes

all day long. Yeah. Yeah. Looking at news. Yeah. Looking at news. How do you not want to put a gun to your head? It's not, you know, it kind of like- Do you like detach yourself from the news? You sort of train yourself to be a sociopath. Right. Like the way that I've like, like I read the news now and I just don't have any feelings about it.

I'm just like, huh, interesting. Yeah. There's a bit. You know? And if I do read a headline that's like, that makes me panic, I turn around and I'll be like, hey, this isn't actually something I should worry about. Right. Like we'll just sort of talk each other down and be like, no, it's like this happens in this. Like, it's very funny that you have you who who's dissociative from the news with married to most neurotic. Yes. Scared of things happening. Oh, for sure.

For sure. It's really like, I mean, you should have seen us. That's a sketch. Go back in time. It really does feel like two completely different perspectives on. Yeah. Yeah. Where I'm just kind of like, it'll be fine. You know what I mean? People have been saying the world's gonna end since the fucking beginning of the world. So everything's gonna be fine. I know, when people, I always,

my friends who are non comics, they'll be like, I'm so worried about this and this, and I'm like, what are you worried about? And they'll be like, well Trump said this, and I'm like, there's a bit there, there's a bit there, and they're like, how are you not worried about this? And I'm like, I'm just gonna talk, I'm just gonna have to be. It's like, even if I am, what the fuck am I going to do about it? You know,

it's like, that's how I feel about like the conspiracy theory people. I'm like, okay, so if that's true, what the fuck is your plan? Yeah. They never, a conspiracy theorist hates a follow-up plan. They really don't want to. They hate answering then what? Yeah. They really hate to see that question coming. They really do. Yeah. So I, yeah, it's just kind of like whatever, you know?

But I do feel like chat GPT at the end of the day. I'm just kind of like, you know. Oh, is that going to fuck everybody up? No. Do people ever use it? Yeah. I've used it for fun just to see like, like I'll write a punchline and then I'll look on chat GPT to see what they come up with. And I'm like, I've used it for fun just to see like, I'll write a punchline and then I'll look on chat GPT

to see what they come up with. And I'm like, I think we're good. Oh really? It's bad? It's real bad. Wow. I haven't tried that yet. I haven't asked it to debate me on the Middle Eastern conflict though.

And it did a pretty good job. Oh yeah? Yeah, debating it's very good at doing. Yeah, we're all like, what about this? But you do have to like set it's time. You have to be like, I need you to argue at an eighth grade level though, please. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Don't go too far. Dude, I swear he sighed at me the other day. Like I was doing a puzzle and I was like asking about like Jerusalem or something. And I was like, can you say that again? He was like, repeated it. And I was like, can you say it again? And I swear he was like, yeah.

It's the, and I was like, oh my God. You made him tired? Yeah, I think I tired out. Yeah. And then it said I had used up all my time. And I was like, I don't even think that's a thing. Really? Yeah. Oh my God. You're wasting water. Yeah. You're like, wait, this isn't a Senate hearing. I also didn't know that using chat to be D was so ecologically. It's really bad for the environment. It's so bad for the environment. It's like, and it scares me because young kids are using it like Google.

They're like not even going to use it. I'm using it like Google. I have no idea. The amount of servers and energy and like water it takes to make this thing work so it could talk to you like a five-year-old, it's insane. It's crazy. That's so, I just found this out. It's so horrifically bad for the environment.

Yeah, like just take, just stop recycling. You know what I mean? If you're going gonna use chat GPT The middle man and put a straw on the turtles on Basically what we gotta do It cools down the computers and stuff. Yeah, cuz the servers and the power uses where are the computers? Well, he built he built one of the places in Memphis. It's a big, it's like a big facility. It's like the size of like, like an airport. It's huge.

Yeah. And it's supposed to take up a lot of energy. Yeah. It's like you're using it right now. Yeah. Chagy BD, where are your computers? Are you really using it? No, no, no. I think I just got here. Oh, we should wrap up. I wish I burnt it. I know I thought we could have done it. Mother load is a special, but what else do you want people to get eyes on? I got a tour coming up. You should check out tickets for that or Rosebud Baker dot com and follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Rosebud Baker.

Yeah. Oh, they're load. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road.

I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. I've been on the road. you should check out tickets for that or rosebudbaker.com and follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Rosebud Baker. Yeah. Awesome. Motherload, February 18th. It's out now.

On Netflix. It's out now. Watch it, share it. All that shit. Oh, God damn it. Love it. Jordan, tell the people. Punchup.live slash Jordan Jensen.

Oh shit, I gotta get on that. That's correct. Know if you do. Hold on the fence about it. E and finance dot com for all my dates. All my punch up stuff is on their mailing list. I am going all over. I'm on the road till June, July.

E and finance dot com for all tickets. Patreon dot com slash B and E and pod. Appleton, July, ianfightdance.com for all tickets, patreon.com slash B and E and pod, Appleton, Wisconsin, Fayetteville, Arkansas, Cary, North Carolina, Raleigh Improv, ianfightdance.com. Come see me on the road. Love you. Bye. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what you say anymore.