Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Ep135: The Comic's Way W/ Wesley Schultz (The Lumineers) & Tyson Barrie

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

As always , Thanks for watching! Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 The Lumineers Automatic - Out Now: https://thelumineers.komi.io/ WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here ! : https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast Support the show and try BlueChew for free, just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://www.bluechew.com Get 15% off your Autoblow order with the code SKA15 at https://www.autoblow.com  Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ See Jordan Live! : https://punchup.live/jordanjensen WATCH JORDAN’S SPECIAL HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s @jordanjensenlolstop Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! : https://punchup.live/ianfidance IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 Follow Wesley Schultz Here : https://www.instagram.com/wesleyschultz/ https://www.instagram.com/thelumineers/ The Lumineers Automatic - Out Now: https://thelumineers.komi.io/ Follow Tyson Barrie Here : https://www.instagram.com/tysonbarrie4/ Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/ 

Hey everybody, come and see me on the road. Philly, Charlotte, North Carolina, Spokane, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, San Diego, Rhode Island, Jersey, Omaha. I'm going all over Arizona, Kansas City, Las Vegas, e-in-fight-ance.com. You don't want to miss it. Punchup.live slash Jordan Jensen for all her dates. Join the mailing list. Get on there. Come out, see us live. It's a good time. I'll see you in the pit. By that I mean the crowd of the show. We're having smokes, riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride when you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what

Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride when you're being Ian, being Ian Life is shit but you're positive Let's find out what it's like to live a life Being Ian, being Ian With Jordan Meow Um, okay, you want me shofar? Yes, shofar

Oh Yeah Um, okay. You want me to show far? Yes. Show far. Oh, yeah. Welcome back to another episode of being Ian with Jordan. I am so excited for today's episode. We have two wonderful guests. I got intimidated so I just handed Tyson the auto blow. I walked in and went like this. I walked in and went, we have big. And he was like, nice. I walked downstairs and Jordan's like, we're just hanging out. He's like, okay. Professional hockey player of the Calgary Flames, Tyson Barry, thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. I'm a late edition. I know. So thank you for letting me join. Yeah. Very polite. Thank you.

Oh, we have to tell you about the microphones, you guys. Oh yeah. You got to hold them to your face. They have to be pretty close. Yeah. And that soft whisper you hear is the, the one, the only, the fantastic, the legendary Wesley Schultz of the Lumineers. And more importantly, the singer of our theme song. I did that. When you say Lumineers, I get it stuck in my head so bad. The, the Hey Ho one. And I just like have, and I was like, walked in

and I was like, just don't sing it anymore. Cause I was in the Uber thing. I was like, just stop. It's actually Ho Hey, it's fine. Ho Hey. Oh ho ho! Ho Hey, idiot. Why is it Ho Hey if it's in the song?

The dumbest song name. Don't worry about it. It's not like it's not actually important. I just like correcting people because that means they're, you know, not super fans. Yeah, I could tell. Yeah. No, I'm a super no, I'm no, I was at the year. I was at the year. Stayed at the year. That year has been a saving grace to me.

These guys stayed at the year. Such a nice place to go. What do you get when that happens? I think it's funny that we'd be like out at the Yurt and people would be like, you stayed at the Lumineers Yurt? I'd be like, yeah, he has Manuka honey too. We're like the same. He also likes Manuka honey.

Did you leave me gloves, skeleton gloves? Yes, I did. Yeah. You guys both left me gifts. No, I left them and I left a note. I left you some toys. I left you some dinosaur toys. Yeah.

The people gave us that she no longer wanted. What? Huh? You didn't give me toys. You gave him toys that you didn't want anymore. No, no. We bought a bunch of them. Remember we do have the dinosaur pack and we left the best ones for him as a gift.

Oh yeah, that's right. You regifted. I'm regifted yeah. I'll take it my kids loved it. How old are your kids? 7 and about to turn 4. 7 and 4 boy girl? Boy girl.

Which one's better? Which gender would you recommend? They won't see this for a while. We did IVF. My daughter was ranked number 1. They ranked them as embryos. Oh really? But my wife had a tough

relationship with her mother. So she didn't want to have a daughter. So the song Gloria is about, you know, she's want to start with a boy. Yeah. And so we had the fourth ranked embryo, which was a boy. And that's so, how do you not hold that against them? Three girls were ahead of him for, are you going to, are you going to tell them that? Like when you tell a kid finally that they're adopted, you know, like at a certain age, you're like, hey, just to let you know you were fourth. Yeah. I think when there's a huge argument, it will somehow seep out.

Yeah. Like, did you know? Wait, why didn't you snag two and three? They were girls. And so it was like the first three were all the top ranked were girls. And my my wife was like, I don't know if I could be a girl. I might hate her like a little China influence. Interesting. So then am I here? No.

So then everybody's doing stuff out. And it's nothing. What did you just say? Because you got rid of the girls. You got the boy was like little influence from China. They do that in China. Yeah. Yeah. Was it worth it? No. Oh, because I'm slowing the uptake because they were boys and they're worth more to my society. In China.

Continue. Anyways. He gets anxious when we have special people on and he has to throw bits out the whole time. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Absolutely blew that one. Tyson.

What the hell? Oh my God. He'll chirp you all night. He'll chirp you all night. Let's reset here. Yeah. Yeah. How do you, can I have a question?

How do you sleep at night? Do you sleep at night? How do you, how are you so tough to fight someone with all their clothes and helmets on? That always amazes me when hockey players fight. How are you so tough to fight? Yeah. Yeah.

I have like one career fight. So like, I'm not that tough. Really? Yeah. Is that guy small? I feel like I saw this. No, he was like similar height to me and he and he fucking hit me once in the jaw and my jaw hurt for like six months.

And I'm like, Oh, that's not for me. So I'm like more of like a offensive guy, you know? So you didn't lose a tooth in a fight. No, no, no, no. Just up against this. It was a stick in the face. Yeah. How do you play without so masks?

That's so scary. No, no, no. And some guys have none. The first time I, there's four boys left. Just four guys left with no shield. Girls have mine. That's so scary. No. And some guys have none. The first time I... Oh, you're a boy. There's four players left? There's four guys left with no other shield. Girls have shields. Yes.

Correct. Beautiful. The first time I met Tyson and we hung out, he was at a brunch. We were... We had pizza or something and he was chewing kind of funny. And I was like, everything all right? And he's like, yeah, I'm pretty good. I just took a puck to the cheek and I got a fractured cheekbone, but I'm good.

Yeah. And you're just eating your jaw and the pizza. And they made him have a lower visor. Yeah. I looked like an asshole. I had this like big bubble on that came down here. They were making fun of him for wearing more. Yeah.

For like protecting your face. Yeah. You're a pussy. You're a pussy. I'm like, oh. It's a wild sport. Were they saying it to you? Like on the.

Oh yeah. I was in playoffs too. So it's like intense. So like, yeah. Were they saying it to you? Oh, yeah. I was playoff too, so it's like intense. So like everyone's just kind of saying anything. Wow. I come from a hockey family and my niece just started playing and we're very proud. She's tiny. She's six years old.

She has all the gear on and she's way taller. I'm just starting to get my son into it too. So it's a great sport. I played roller hockey. Yeah. Anyway, so. I did too. To be honest, I did too. So it's a great sport. I played roller hockey. Yeah. Anyway, so I did too. To be honest, I did too. I cross checked a kid once. Tyson like me. Like me please. I love you man. Wes, we have the guitar here and we were hoping you could play the theme song into the show or. How would he have that memorized?

Yeah, I don't know the words. You can sing it if you. Well, luckily, I have them here. We can try. I mean, I tried tuning it roughly. I tried to get Jordan to write new lyrics and she came up with. I hate Ian. I wish you wouldn't touch me all the time. You got to clean the studio.

It would be nice for help. Help. Oh, no, does it am not work? Oh, I think it was working earlier. Yeah, I heard. Is that nice? This is tough to watch. It was just working. It was just working.

I got it during the pandemic and I would play Green Day while I'd walk around my apartment alone. Dude, the New Yorker came to interview me about like comedy during the pandemic. They're like, we just want to see you on a normal day. And I literally was blowing the Shavar like a trumpet and playing songs. I was like, I want to die. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're, we're out of luck. It's okay. Yeah, I know. Man. There goes that segment. I know. I think that was God. Really. He struck it down. Yeah. I guess the theme song stays. Well, did you know he called me for like an edit and I was like on a plane

because he said he was gay. He said, I don't like how you say I like it in the butt. What did you say? What was the problem? It was, you know, he likes he's a top Yeah top and it says he likes it in the butt and the girl I was dating at the time really got on me It was like do you want everyone to think you get fucked in the ass? Recorded it like I was hopping on a flight and you were like, dude, I actually need it right now And I just like I did it because I was hopping on a flight and you were literally like, Oh dude, I actually need it right now. And I just like, I did it because I, I was getting it from both ends. Yeah. And so, uh, I like, I recorded and I think I did what you asked me to do. And then I'm like on the plane and you said that I'm like, I think it's going to be

okay. So we did a scratch track where it was like, uh, actually Amy's giving, not getting it. And then I was like, no, that's gay. Or like, Jesse likes it in the butt. And I was like, you know what? There was a time. Yeah. Really?

I mean, I've been a few. Yeah. I mean, if, if my wife was here, she would, she would love to have this conversation. I think we've had it. Yeah. Where I said she really wants to peg me. Right. Really? It's confirmed. Yeah. we've had it. Yeah. Where I said she really wants to peg me. Right. Really?

It's confirmed. Yeah. She talks about it often. She brought it up immediately when I was at your house. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know. I think she just wants to fuck someone else. I know. Not you? Well, that's sad. That came out wrong.

Yeah. Wait, wait. Can you put a paper bag on your head and can we paint it with... Can we do it? Can we do a scratch? He means fucking me. Not someone else. Can you print it out and put your head and can we paint it with a? Can we do a scratch? He means fucking me, not someone else. Can you print out a picture of Tyson's face and put it on a bag? She definitely wants it to be you. I think it's a power thing.

Yeah, she wants to hear it. I want a peg also. Yeah. Really? Yeah. My cousin pegged this like really strong jacked black cop and he was like. Sounded like it was going different directions.

He was like alpha and he was like, I want you to peg me. And she's like, all right. And he pegged, she pegged him and he was like, oh yeah, harder. And she broke up with him. So this is part of my fear. I had this like procedure done where like this guy stuck a needle. It's a long story, but basically he was like, anytime you feel pain, I need you to like signal, you know, right.

And I didn't know what was going to come out of me. And like he's shoving this needle into like down my back, just trying to fix something that was like always flaring up. And I'm like, and I started making this really strange, like high pitched noise, like deliverance vibes. And I was like Brent like my wife seems brandy I was like she will literally leave me if this side of me is exposed. I know that's my voice modulator You need a voice modulator. Yeah, like what is the right? What would be even the sexiest response? I don't know You're doing a good job brother

I think the sexiest thing probably would be like I hate this that would be the hottest like well Then that they, the last guy to fuck me in the ass was like, do you like it? And I was like, no, I don't stop. And that wasn't sexy to him. Yeah. Just saying, I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for you. That's his drag name. Anyway. Are you going to let her peg? Me? No, really me. No, so I want to stay married. Yeah, I've never like I've always I've always been very satisfied with Regular sex so I don't like my like climbing the walls trying to find new ways to do this Yeah, well, I would do it. I'm afraid that they would use it against me, you know, like we're at dinner Call me Brandy. But I'm worried that we would like be at dinner later and she'd be like, can you get this,

them to send this back? It's not cooked enough. I'd be like, no, just leave it alone. She's like, leave it alone? You weren't saying that the other night when you were out, I hate her. And I'm like, stop it. Oh, you lose your dominance.

Girlfriend that doesn't exist? I think you lose your dominance immediately in relationships though. What? Well, you know. What the fuck are you talking about? Him in particular? Yeah, him in particular, yeah.

How? Why? Because, you know, they fall asleep, you put their outfits on, they wake up, they go, why are you wearing my skirt? You go, because I'm beautiful! Yeah, then I go, I just wanted to see. Oh, don't fuck me.

I wanted to get in your shoes to know what it's like to be a woman. I think maybe it's cause last night I came to and we were both sitting on your couch needle point stitching and you were like, I just can't do it right. I think that's why. We started needle stitching, needle point stitching.

You're an odd guy, huh? I don't really know you that well, I just meet you, but I'm just kind of taking this all in here. What do you mean? That's been used for sure. He has never used it, which I if I had been, I would have fucked it the second. It makes too much noise. It does go. Yeah, it goes.

But still, just to try it. That sounds like a Vietnam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like. Do you take notes for these guys. No, that's the theme song lyrics. Yeah. Yeah, I am a bit of an odd duck, but that's all right. You're a manly

man. You're a manly guy. Yeah, he's taking it all in. I've had small doses. Yeah, you've had doses of it. It doesn't come out. I didn't know. I had no idea what I signed up for. He's like, hey, do you want to come on a podcast with me tomorrow? I'm like, sure. Yeah, I don't care. It's like, it's fine. They didn't choose to be fine with

this. This is good. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure it's going to go well. Now you've had me in larger than small doses. I love you, man. Yeah, I love you. Well, the first time I met Ian, he was playing, I think it was a Greenwich Village comedy club. We couldn't get into the all the good ones. That was like the one that they were handing out flyers like I guess we got to go to this one. There were people with us from South Africa and they want to see comedy in New York and I remember the first few comics some of them were really good. One of them got really mad at the audience for not being there. Like there was just five of us and I was like we're the one of the fucking five.

Yeah, getting mad at negative space. Yeah, yeah. Because there was not more people. Yeah, and it was just like, fuck off, you know? And Ian comes out, out of the gates, like ninja kicks in the air and it's just like, what's up everybody? And it was so inspired and I was like, this guy rules.

And a lot of what we, like we had played so many house shows that, you know, we begged people to come out to, that I was like really related to like being optimistic, almost like a crazy person in the face of like a really hard situation. You went out there and performed like it was MSG. Oh yeah, like it was a packed house. I mean, I do that all the time. It was amazing. Yeah Yeah, we like we get the creek where it's literally two people and you're like, what's up? What are your names? And then they say two names you're like and that's all of them Yeah, but Wes has been like there through a lot of it you always come and see me when I'm like and it's really fucking

Cool, man. Yeah, I think you're hilarious and I just hey I just love comedy I mean these guys went to comedy last night I would have gone but they were they were going real late where'd you go the comedy sellers I was there last night where you was I was here no you were here yeah I took off yeah you went you usually take off on Tuesdays I take off Tuesday I'm there tonight though are you Are you? You guys could come tonight. What time? All night. You just play every is it seven thirty nine thirty eleven thirty or something? I'm there like nine nine nine thirty. I'll hop over to that show. Then I'll do the ten o'clock show or something like that. Yeah. I absolutely love comedy. I would love to see that.

I just can't believe how often you guys like, you know, keep things sharp. Like I feel like it's amazing when I talk to a comedian how how many nights a week they work It's mental illness. It's crazy But it's like amazing it's now our downtime is needle stitch making but the only way to really workshop It isn't you have to have people that's part of the deal. So it's it's a very yeah Whereas like you also get a new joke and then you're in on crack like if like right now I have new jokes and I'm just like, I gotta go. Oh, it's like a high. Yeah, yeah.

If you have a new, it's like, it's like a, yeah, it's like getting attacked too. It's like, you know when you're in a video game and you like hit the like booster and you're like, ah, you have like this speed and everything for like the next 30 seconds. It's like that. And you have to keep getting it. Boy howdy though, when you have to do eight sets and you have no new jokes, kill, oh my God. That was the Super 30 seconds. It's like that. And you have to keep going. Howdy though, when you have to do eight sets and you have no new jokes kill. Oh my God. That was the Super Bowl Sunday. I was just saying the same jokes over and over. If you don't have new jokes, you try and like just riff on the room and make jokes or, but like there'll be nights

where I'm so tired that I'm like, I have to phone this in five times because I have no sleep and you just get up there and say the jokes. And even when they're laughing, you're kind of like, fuck you. Oh, you like, oh, I level with them. And I'm like, I I don't even want to be here right now. This is insane. I am so tired and I have to entertain you pigs with this fucking slob. Sometimes you get really, really, really piggy. Really, really. Yeah. It's like me. Yeah, that would have been me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But I love how you're like, you know, the work you guys put in here in the lumineers. Well, he can make anything very poetic Yeah, but I I think there's a different hustle and I I would equate it to like open mics like the way that Like when a band begins you get to play open mics and no one's it's a great way to like see if an idea Actually makes sense in the outside world And then you find out like, oh, that part of the song, it just doesn't work. But like when I was by myself, it sounded brilliant. Right.

There's such a long, boring part of this. Oh yeah. You know, so that was great. And then as time moves on, if you go to open mic and someone's heard of your band, it doesn't work the same. Whereas comics, and I think that makes for more ground. You say you're full of crazy people. Comics are some of the nicest people I've met.

And I've heard this said about, you know, actors as well. Actors have to face each other. You know, Brad Pitt has to be in a taxi cab with a random actor for like four hours to do a scene. So I think there's more humility and in music, you could be at a festival and stay in your little trailer and you could be in your hotel room before a show. So it creates like a little bit of psychosis the other way where you're not, you, you're not as like forced to be social. Cause you guys have a green room that is shared often, like not every time,

but I mean often. So there's more camaraderie. And I've always like, I've always felt like that kept the comedians that I've met super grounded. I feel like when I go into your guys's green room, it's like a hellscape. I go into my musician friends and it's like nine different dudes who aren't in the band. There's no snackies. There's only beer. When you go into our green room, it's like, there's a really, there's hummus, there's candy.

There's a really scared host that's like, how long have you been doing comedy? And you're like, and he's like, I'm sorry. And there's your feature, like your guys's green rooms. I get, I was in Caroline Rose. You know, Caroline Rose? Well, I was in her green room recently and I was like, how are you like handling about

to be going on when there's like people just all fucked up in here? I mean, that's pretty amazing for I don't like anybody around. You don't let anybody around. Okay. I don't. I wasn't always like that too. The hardcore boys. It's like we can't even get in.

Yeah. There's so many Henry Rollins get in the van and early on and that is a very good depiction of like early touring. I think if you if you can afford the space and you can get your own like Green Room but that's a bigger venue meaning some people don't want that that's like either that's represents selling out or that whatever that is I mean in my own band I could say when we got our own green room, Stealth is our piano player. He wears no shoes. You know, he's incredible. Yeah, yeah, of course. He's one of those back flips. I'm playing the piano. It's crazy.

He's one of the most gifted performers I've ever been around. He's a maniac. I mean, you can attest as well. The first time I met him, he was like, what's your dreams and what was the last nightmare you had? I was like, what are you? You're not gonna get Stealth? He's the? He's the best. Like as someone who just kind of comes to shows and hangs out, he's like the most welcoming guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's such a fun hang. He's like, hey, you want to do some shots? He's the greatest. I'm like, fuck yeah. All right, let's do it.

Yeah. He like, yeah, there's so many stories that come to mind, but basically he hated that we got separate green rooms. You know, like he loves being around people. That's how I am. And I struggle. Like I feel like I get drained if I'm around people too much So the early touring was really hard because you never closed a door Where someone wasn't in a room with you like it was just psycho? Yeah, yeah, just don't have any of your own time so it works for me, but not everybody's so wired differently and you're in a It in your world. There's not like necessarily a team. So you're not like, you know and you're in a in your world there's not like necessarily a team

so you're not like you know you're solo acts you're all like lone wolves like yeah running around it's just a while yeah for me the road gets really really lonely we tour very differently too i bring a best friend on the road that's great we sleep we work out ian meets up with like 1100 people during the day does nine activities and they get i'm like, dude, most of the day is spent resting for me. Yeah, I can't. I like to stay busy. Me too. I have to be running around or I'll rot before a game though. No, not like no, not before a game. Actually, that's a huge lie. I'll take like a three hour nap afternoon and like, well, I get the nap in, but my day is like early jam packed and then I got to like rest and recharge. But otherwise I'll just like rot my bed.

And I hate that dog has changed my life. I got a dog and bring her on the road. It's the best service animal. She's like, I bring my, I bring the things I need. I bring my best friend who opens for me. I bring my dog. We go outside. We go for a walk.

We do. I bring my best friend who's not a comic sometimes. And we'll have like a guy's weekend. Like he's coming to Portland and we're gonna rent like a Lamborghini. We did that in Seattle. Dude, we got it up to 187 and then we went to Kurt Cobain's house. It was awesome. And shout out Justin. 187 is so fast.

Dude, I was squeal. I was like, ah, my little feet were kicking. Was he driving? Yeah, he was driving. Oh yeah, it was crazy. But I'll bring him sometimes, but I don't really bring people, but I have people in the city that I like meet up with. Like I have like a network of like friends and musicians. He does also. Girls.

I mean, you're fed by it. You and stuff would tear up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, my question is how, cause the thing with us, I feel like you do open mics and you have this like dream, but we're kind of like, when we started, I was just like,

well, I guess I'm going to keep doing this. And one day it'll work out. And then like, there's so many no's and so many, like you're just beaten over the head with terrible like failures and everything. And then you keep doing it and like your delusion becomes reality. Like in, in a sport, I feel like you're like pretty much, you know, from an early age, like, okay, you have talent.

People are atta boying you and like giving you like all this stuff. And so you stick with it and you start to see these things. But then with you guys, like, how do you like start playing to like 10 people in bars in New York and then one day become the biggest and not like break up and have info? Like how does that happen? Yeah. I think my, I would say the best thing that happened to me was like delayed success. I was 30 when we got signed basically. So you spend so much time coping with like the idea that you're not that good. Oh so you did the comics way? No, no. Yeah, yeah. Like so maybe I can relate but I think that makes you a little more resolute in like

why you're there. Like why? We know so many people that quit and then started a family and now they're like, oh, I'm, you know, I work in an office now. It's also my musician friends, like during COVID or anytime they toured and it wasn't as good, the money. Like I never, it was easy to just have a job and do standup or make standup work. But musicians, you guys, the load in, the fucking equipment, we're just like,

oh, I knew it. I held my friend's band the other night and I was like, I took two guitars and I was like, I need a cigarette. How do you do this? Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I remember there was a time when we finally had a little bit of extra money to buy a 15 passenger van

and we had gotten robbed previous to that, right before that. That's like a rite of passage for bands. Yeah, you also get robbed. Why do you get robbed so much? You guys always get that. That's like a rite of passage for bands. You guys always get robbed. So Mannequin Pussy got all their shit robbed like the night before their show? We were in, well when we got robbed it was in LA in literally middle of the day.

It was like 3 or 4 p.m. and we were out in this park. We had a mandolin and we were like recording a takeaway show where they do a live take. Nothing's sadder than having your mandolin stolen. Luckily, well sadly that was the only thing we had left. You know, like, who wants that? We got this! We had like two songs with the mandolin. And we built everything up from the mandolin forward.

And, uh, yeah, that was just like, but I don't know, there's a lot, there's a lot of places I go with this. One of them was like, we, when we got robbed, it brought us closer. And when we succeeded, it divided the group a lot of places I go with this. One of them was like, when we got robbed, it brought us closer. And when we succeeded, it divided the group a lot. Whoa. So you would never think that, right?

But think about comedy. When you're all in, like, just working together, and you're all in open micers, and then someone gets in a theater, there are some people in the group that are like, fuck that guy. So there's an element of that even within a group where someone you want people to come. It's more like the guy gets into the theater and then people go, he molested me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he molested me.

I like step right on that. I'm sorry. But yeah, wait, what? That happens with so many comics. Yeah, totally. That happens constantly where it's just a lie or are they molesting? I depends. Hey, believe women, believe women, believe women, but it's always right on time. As soon as the success happens, there's always a girl who's like, we had sex and I didn't want to later. It happens a lot. That was a lot. Not to me. Thank God. Happens a lot. That was a lot. Not to me.

Thank God. I'm a woman. It's a confusing. I get people going. The only reason she's doing well is because she's a woman. Yeah. That's a big thing that happened. I mean, some people choose to live in reality and some people don't.

But that's fine. Go. Hey, everybody, I'm at L.A. X Airport and I'm here to say it's time to get sucked by the auto blow. That's right. I'm in public and I have to get the ads in so I'm doing it while I'm headed to Portland, Oregon for Helium Comedy Club.

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why am I sitting like this? You go crazy enough, you go crazy enough that you, there's more humility and I think you can last longer if you know that your shit stinks. And you're not like, I think if you're there's more humility and I think you can last longer if you know that your shit stinks And you're not like I think if you're signed when you're 16, and it just takes off It's kind of like being a child star. Yeah, you're stuck in that little stunted even though. That's a great break for a singer It's I'm glad that that happened later for me if it happened at all, but it's like a weird It's a very trep to me. There's a lot of treachery involved. Like there's a lot of weird, like I'm, my wife spotted me when we were dating, like our first two months rent

and she was kind of like my sugar mama at the time. So there's like a trust there. Well, there's one way to pay her back with your butthole. You know what? You're, you're selling me on it. And Tyson's moving further away. She deserves that. Yeah. Come to my side, Tyson! Brandi's the best. Yeah, she really is. Dude, I went to a party at your guy's house on like way up Upper West Side one time. Yeah. And it was so funny. We had so much fun and I was leaving and Brandy introduced me to some friends and

she was like, oh my God, this is Ian. He's such a funny comic. His act is it's a little dirty. And we're like, ha ha ha ha. And I was like, all right, see you guys later. And as I was walking away, she goes, no, really, it's really dirty. You heard her say that. Don't remember. I heard her say it. Remember we had to do at Pioneer Works like, it was like a charity event. Oh yeah, I opened for you guys.

And you were like talking about glory holes and like. It's kind of where I was at the time. It was really funny to me. You guys loved it. And I'm like looking out at the crowd and there's just kind of horror on half people's faces. And I was like, this is kind of amazing. I'm for anybody but I'm not for everybody.

You knew what it was when you signed the paper. What's crazy is the first time I opened for Ian way long ago, we went to this weird place in Philly and he won me over cause he got on stage cause there were these like beautiful Edison bulbs and everything was like red and there was like, like rustic and he just goes, what are we at a f**king Lumineers concert? And I died laughing and I was like, that is so good.

Yeah, the first time we met at that same show, there was a guy who was working the door and then somebody else had said like early on, I was like, my hair was down. He's like, what's that fucking skinny Thor or whatever? They were like, yeah, they were like, it was funny. It was awesome. And then this kid goes up and he gets his like shorter time. It's like five minutes or something because he's working the door and he goes, yeah, you look like the guy from the Lumineers and like my table starts laughing.

And then he goes, wait, are you? And then it just wiped his hard drive, he couldn't remember any of his jokes. Oh, he was like the biggest fan of yours. So afterwards- That happened the other night with that guy from the TV where he was like, I'm a big fan, he was talking to me, he was like, I'm a huge fan, I was like,

you look like that guy from TV and he goes, oh, that guy, I'm not him and I was like, are you him? And he's like, I'm a big fan. He was talking to me, he was like, I'm a huge fan. I was like, you look like that guy from TV. And he goes, oh, that guy, I'm not him. And I was like, are you him? And he's like, I'm him. It's a weird thing. But I actually felt so bad for the guy that I found him out. I like saw him and I was just like, it's all good. He came to the green room and was like, dude, the Lumineers are here.

The lead singer of the Lumineers are here. And everyone's like, oh my God. And I remember I went on stage and I was like, are you really the singer from the Lumineers? You were like, yeah. I was like, I was in a sc I remember I went on stage. I was like, are you really the singer from the Lumineers? You're like, yeah, I was like I was in a scab in in high school. I get it Same spot, but it was just a funny way to meet. Yeah I know I get that way more than you are the guy from no one knows what we look like Oh, yeah, shit. That's the best. It's there's a there's an anonymity to it.

Yeah, I would say like our people know our songs. They don't know anything about us. That's the best way to be. It's nice to navigate the world. Yeah. And also, you're so on it. You get paid and no one will know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, well, I guess you could say you're hard to pay.

That's a good one. Tyson. Yeah, you got Tyson. OK, I'll give you that. Woo! Back on the board! Can people recognize you? They can't recognize me. One for five. Easy.

In Canada, they gotta recognize you. Yeah, you get recognized a lot? Yeah, like in certain spots. No one can, though, for sure. Like hometown kind of thing. The city you play in. But it is always the same. It's like a religion there, though.

It's a different level of fame. Well, what was it like growing up for you, like playing? My mom said, I said, do you I said, do you know Tyson Barry? And she goes hockey player dad's dad owns Tampa Bay Lightning. Tell him, sorry, I'm not available. Wow. Shout out to that's awesome. He making the he be making the pod here. Unfortunately, does no longer on the team, but she knows everything.

Yeah, you're famous to her. She doesn't give a fuck about any of us. Yes. So watch this. I wish you guys would shut the fuck up. Yeah. And I see them. Let them talk. What was it like growing up, like playing hockey and seeing the kind of growth of you? Was there ever a time when you were like, I got to quit? No, I was never like like I wasn't like the 16 year old superstar like he was referring to. I was kind of like, I always had just like had it on such a pedestal. I didn't think I'd ever make it.

Like I put the NHL like it was just, it was unattainable for me. Like it felt that way until like, you know, I went to junior hockey and I was, I was pretty good. And I was like, oh, some of my friends that were older were getting drafted and then they went and played. And I was like, fuck, maybe I can do this. And then like my first game I remember it was like I played the Chicago Blackhawks. They had like they were winning all those cups. I was so nervous and I'd just taken the ice for the first time. It was like mind-blowing. I couldn't believe I was there. I shook. I was like, you know, they're like, oh, yeah, like get your first shift in and you'll be fine. I was like not fine the entire game. Yeah. Yeah

What was it? What is it you go to you you started in junior high? Yeah, so no, so it's called junior hockey. It's like You go out of like a farm league or something. No, it's The mic to your face. Yeah, sorry. That's alright. I'm just He smacks out his other two to your face. Yeah, sorry. That's all right. I'm just smacks out his other tooth. Get them both replaced. He told me so. Yeah, I mean, it's soon. Uh, junior hockey is like 16 to 20. Oh, okay. You can either go to college or you can play junior and I played junior. And then from there you get drafted to like an NHL team. And then you just, I went and played in the minors for like a year, which is like their farm team. Yeah. So there's like, there's a bunch

of different routes you can take, but you were scared when you did the first game, like, I was, I was like, like performance anxiety, like scared that you were going to be like imposter syndrome. No, I wouldn't say imposter syndrome. It was just not scared that I was going to get hit. No, I was just scared that I was going to like blow it. Like I finally getting my chance and I was going to suck. And then they're like, all right go back down and like That's like getting passed and I'm pissed. I would I would wonder if it's like if you did your first roast with like all these insane comics and you're like Fuck. Yeah I feel like everybody was the best player in their state on that ice like that's like crazy concept

yeah, you know, you're good against your peers, but even your peers are good, but then there's a whole other league. And you're like, I don't know how I stack up against these guys. You grew up watching them and you're like, you want to play against Sidney Crosby. I'm like, I'm not that good. I know that. So I'm like, you just... How'd you overcome that? Just, you just play. My second game, I was a little less nervous. Third game, I played a good one, like, you know, third or fourth game, I actually played well and I was like, okay, it's not that bad. Do you ever like, was there ever a moment where you, like a Sydney or somebody that's

famous that you grew up like kind of idolizing and then you, you thought like for a moment I can hang with them and then they just smoked you? Yeah. You know what? That Ovechkin, Alex Ovechkin, he's like, I think he's like, I don't know, maybe 15 goals away from passing Wayne Gretzky all time goals, which is insane. I didn't think anyone would ever do it, but I played him the first time and I was like, this was like a little while into the season and he's like, he's just

a six foot four, like 200, he's just a Russian mule. And like, I was like, oh yeah, he's just like, you know, I played a bunch of, like a lot of good players and then like, it was different. I was like, oh, this guy's fucking different. He came in, ran me over, like took the puck and get like two goals that game. And I was like, like too fast. Like it was all, he was so, he was so fast and so big. And like, I just like ran into him and I just went, I was like, well, that's a little different. I don't know what that thing is, but he's still going like, I don't know. He's been in the league 20 years now, but what's it like seeing yourself in a video game? It's like every kid's dream. Yeah, it's fun. I grew up playing like the

NHL game. So yeah, when I first like, when I first made the NHL and I made the roster, I'm sure his dad played pro hockey, so I wonder if that also helped that in any way to visualize it, if he did it, maybe you could do it, or is it not? He was always like, he knew what it took, like the hard work to get there, so he always pushed me a little bit harder than probably the other kids. Did it fuck you up?

It fucked my sister up, because my mom was so good, and my mom would be in the stands, be like, oh God, don't do it! No, he was like, he's a psycho, but like, he was really good with that. I like Tiger Woods' dad. No, he was like, he's a psycho, but like, he was really good with that. I like Tiger Woods, his dad. No, he was like, really? My mom. Well, my grandfather was the coach at Cornell.

So he would scream at my mom. And then my sister played D1 and my mom would be in the stands being like, and I was a fat mall goth. I played for one year. I played for one year and I literally just would eat the concession stand stuff and be like, what? And I would they would be like, Jordan, quit sliding on your belly. And I'd be like, this is how I'm going to get the puck though. That was not, I was not athletic. They wanted me to do sports forever.

They made me do swim team. I wore a t-shirt, got in. You were the funny one on the bench. Like, yeah, making everybody laugh. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah. I wonder like, do you ever, do you play yourself as yourself in the game?

I did. Yeah, for sure. When I first made the NHL and I was like, I thought I was probably going to be in the next fucking game. And then I was, and it was awesome. And I'm like, you know, throw it on PlayStation. Like Madden where they score your skills and you're like, fuck. Yeah. And I wasn't like scored very highly like early, but then I got better. And I had some good years and I think I'm like scored low again. you're like, fuck. Yeah. And I wasn't like scored very highly, like early, but then I got better and I had some good years and I think I'm like scored low again.

It's like I've been like this. When I met Tyson, he was like you were on the precipice and then became the all time highest defensive scorer in Avs history. What was that? That will be broken by Kale. I'm sure it's been broken.

Yeah. Yeah. I held that for like a little while, like a couple of years. But I mean, it was like crazy. Like, and he's the nicest person. So I was like, this doesn't line up. Like, that's awesome. Someone's just so arrogant. And you're like, dude, I used to work at a sober living house on the Upper West Side. And there was a guy who was, yeah, sorry, Dick. And I did get fired for drinking. But anyway, this guy played junior hockey and he lost everything because he got addicted to computer duster. So, you know, what do you do with that? Snort or something?

I was also addicted to computer duster, but I beat it. Oh, really? Is that a quick thing? Oh, dude, you've never done Hippie crack. Nope. You've never done Duster. No. We see Coke and Dusty. I've never done Duster either. Yeah. Oh, geez. Oh, dude. It is the most hallucinogenic thing you will ever see. You will believe you are. Yeah. Do you mellow out on Coke? Or do you get more you people? Yeah. No. Coke, you got worse. Made my jaw go to the other side of the street and just be like,

put on Leonard Skidard. Oh, I always had to put on Skidard. I feel like you would have meditated. Yeah, when I do Coke, I mellow out. I got addicted to bowling because I would do Coke and be like, it's time for us to get Elaine. No. You would get amped up.

Oh yeah. And then Adderall, I just wouldn't sleep. Yeah. So I can drink. Adderall, I get sleepy because I have such bad ADHD. I would get sleepy on Coke. My wife has really bad ADHD. It's really bad.

And it's like now she's started taking meds and it's been helpful, but there's some rage. Is that? Oh, dude, that's why I quit the Adderall. Oh, the Vivance? The Adderall. Vivance is bad. No, this was- I need you to talk to her. I was the Adderall. Vyvanse is bad. No, this was...

I need you to talk to her. I was on Adderall and what would happen was... No, she's doing great. Brandi, if you watch this, you're not that mad. It's at night. It's when it wears off. That's when it gets fucked up. I'm going to badger off your life. Yeah, you have the rage. You have to time it so that you take a little... Turn the light on and I'll peg you.

Oh, God. Oh, you. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's really this is going. Assume the position. I would take you during the day and then go to. I would go to I would go to fucking work at the comedy cellar and have to go on stage and I would get on stage and just be like, and another day.

You want Adderall is terrible. That guy's fat and he'd be like, I'm sorry. And I'd be like, I'm sorry. It would be like, yeah, it's just so mean. Oh, yeah. It would be like the meanest thing. I would be like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm and he'd be like, I'm sorry. And I'd be like, I'm sorry. It would be like, it would be like, it would be like, it would be like the meanest concoction of things happening that she, she would be on Adderall on her period and she'd be like evil. And then I'd be like, what is happening? And then a week later she'd be like, I was on Adderall. Sorry. And I'm like, Oh, thank God. There was like a reason. I can't take it. The rage is too much. No, I took it upstate when I was redoing my house and it. I'm like, oh, thank God there was like a reason. I can't take it. The rage is too much. No, it's bad. I took it upstate when I was redoing my house

and it was the best time I've ever had because I was alone just painting and doing modeling work. That was the best. But then at night I would get home, my mom would be like, how are you? And I'd be like, don't look at me. It was fucked up. It's crazy.

You can't do it. You can do it where you take a little bit. It's a strong drug. Yeah. I use it to write lyrics sometimes. It's a good thing we give it to every child ever. It's a slippery like I feel like I'm just not I don't have that part of me that I can literally just take it

sometimes and put it down. Yeah. But it's kind of like cigarettes. I smoked and then I just stopped and it's like, yes. Yeah. But my dad smoked his whole life. So it's like it's not it's not really predictable what it's going to do once you start taking it. But it is way powerful how many people for how many people are just regularly on it. Well, I don't think enough people are strong enough to do duster. I think dude, you will think you are outside having a barbecue with your friends, but in reality you're in your childhood bag going, does, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Who is that guy? One time I cleared out a PC Richard. That guy? Yeah. I don't even know if he's real.

I don't know if he's real either. Can you come just put your face on camera so we know that this guy is- There's like the most beautiful Hawaiian beach man. What's the guy he looks like? Jason Momoa. Yeah, Jason. He's just sitting over there in a fucking laundry.

I know, he looked like Danny Trejo and Jason Momoa made a child. That's why we bring him around. He gives us instant credibility. Where did you get that skin? I don't know, but you're some sort of Arizona shaman and I need what you have. Unbelievable.

Look at you. Oh my God. The Middle Eastern Jew, the God and devil are raging inside you. Oh my God. Okay, cool. Nice to meet you. Could you make yourself useful and get us some duster?

Bro, it's the last time I did it. I missed parent teacher conferences at the school I was teaching at because on the way home, I cleared out a PC Richards and I went home and did a bunch and I cleared out like you took their stock. I bought it all. It's like this, dude. It's like this dude it's like just my excuse to get you in front. Yeah put your face on here Mimosa. God look at this man.

Look at him what a handsome Dan. Who is that guy? Yeah what's his deal? He looks famous as hell. He used to sell people. Yeah he's like super mysterious kind of lives in the Cayman Islands. Really? Of course.

You have women. Wow. You don't have a birthday. You just popped up one day. He grew. He has roots. Yeah. Yeah. When I met you, you had sunglasses on and I was like, as if you couldn't look cooler.

And then it was wild. I was like, who is this Adonis? All three of you have fantastic hair. Yeah. I am. I'm shocked that I'm getting put into this. Yeah, that's a nice really? Yeah. Your hairline's incredible. You think so?

Yes. You're getting me easy, Tyson. My God. Have you ever, do you know anything about? I'm giving you a compliment. You don't have to tear me down. He goes, compare to yours. They chirp hard like.

Oh, yeah. I know. I'll check you. I cross checked in sixth grade. You have slippers. Calm down. Everyone take off your shoes. This is not what I expected. How did you guys meet?

We met probably eight years ago now, maybe. Yeah, I was playing hockey in Colorado. Oh, yeah. He was living there and he actually was playing. We had a mutual friend who put us in a group chat before we'd met and then he was playing opening for Tom Petty in Vancouver. So I texted, I was like, Hey, we're going to be at the show. I'd love to say what's up.

And then he went on, opened, then he texted me, he's like, where are you sitting? And I, we had great seats, like eight rows in, and he just came and watched the Tom Petty set with, we drank wine. That's awesome. Found out we lived like five minutes from each other and then our wives got along great. And we just started hanging out, drinking wine and having some good life chats. Got back into hockey.

Yeah. I was like, this rules. Yeah. It's such a great sport. And you've been with your wife forever? Forever. Forever. I've been with my wife since like 2010.

So. Wow. And before anything took off? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm for sure. Yeah, I was a busboy. Was she scrambling? If I was married to a man whose career took off, I'd be scrambling. I'd be like, don't no DMS, no phone.

You know, that's the weird part. She's like the coolest not jealous. Yeah, she did say one time you're on like you're playing one of those, I don't know if it's Alan or something. And oh, yeah, one of like they had like an actress on who was like, there was like a future A-list actor that I guess was checking me out. And I was like, I didn't notice it because I'm just like an innocent. I didn't know people cheated on each other.

How do you maintain that? Innocence? Innocence. You have to have it in you at some point. I think I'm, I think I'm, Brandi thinks I'm like maybe on the spectrum slightly. Really? So I'm like an artist and an artist. Maybe. We don't know. But I genuinely feel naive, not willfully. It's like I I feel very hopeful. I feel very like but I also, you know, like we've both lost our dads. Yeah. That's an element of life that like creeps into the music.

And there's like, so I have this gallows humor about a lot of things. And then I really am, I feel like a pretty good hearted person. Of course. But not trying, you know, like, it's more just like, I literally don't understand why you would, I would rather break up with someone than, you know, like things like that. So in, in, in music, my wife always said like, well, I think this is pretty idealistic, but she was like, I think people get jealous

because they have a reason to get jealous. Like, you know, someone gives you a vibe and maybe she just sensed I was like, not all fucking around. But also like, she really supported me and like, I don't know, that was really easy to pay that back and be like, let's support, you know, it's a very strange gauntlet to run to once things start taking off and then it kind of reaches an equilibrium. But on that way up, there's there's new friends, there's there's weird like things coming into orbit. I remember we were at the Grammys and I was the most uncomfortable person in that city like in LA they were

They were some reason alarms going off. They were like Offering these are sunglasses and if you put these on and we take a photo they're yours and I was like But like that like you don't on and we take a photo, they're yours. And I was like, what? Fuck that. Like, you don't own, like, we go to photo, they want to do press photos. It'd be like, here's a rack of clothes. I'm like, I brought my clothes. Why would I take clothes?

There was like this desire to like hold onto myself. Cause if somebody was always trying to like change so they could make you someone new and you just, I was 30 so I was like a little more like no. But I think if I was 19 I'd be like, dress me. I don't know, I'll take the glasses. So I think that played into also like having a relationship. Like if I was 19 I probably would have blown it.

So part of it is like hope for failure enough to teach you something. Cause it is like, I find it to be strange. Like I'm not trying to be overly negative about it but I find it to be like what's strange any version of like people coming up to you nervous or right I think that's kind of silly I think musicians were the musicians comedians like hey like court jesters or something or actors or players you know like you had all these like when you think about medieval times or something or actors or players. You know, like you had all these like,

when you think about medieval times or something like, you'd roll around city to city and all you did was basically sing for your supper or make people laugh. And that like, your reward was like a place to stay and food. And now it's become like, it's turned on such a dime where it's like a celebrity thing. And I think that's the furthest thing

for what music is supposed to do. I wouldn't say that was a dime. That was like a couple hundred years. Yeah. I just mean like it's changed so dramatic. Well, yeah. If we're talking medieval times, you know. Yeah. You're right. It's not like overnight, but I just mean like whatever it held for people and culture, like it was supposed to be like kind of bringing people together. And now it's created like a weird celebrity thing around it and I think that's kind of silly because most of us aren't that interesting we just like writing music like there's nothing like yeah you need to know about me it's that crazy maybe pegging like aspirations by my wife I think that likes really turned on a dime I guess in the 70s and 80s with like the grandiosity of everything and like this

culture of like, you know, like you, I can imagine like you, the, the artist you are and the art you create doesn't really lend itself to insane crazy times of like Motley Crue or whatever, you know, like I can't imagine like it's, it doesn't really bring about people that are like throwing themselves at you and everything. And I feel like your fans can appreciate more of like the music of it rather than like the cult of personality that it kind of lead lends itself to. Yeah, 100 percent. I think and some people are built for that. Like David Bowie is just a fascinating example of that. Elvis, like some people are like the right man for that time.

And the right performer. Whatever it is. I just mean like, it doesn't have to be that way though. Like I listen to like Nick Drake. I don't know anything about him. He's one of my favorite artists. He's kind of mysterious. You know his mom, Molly Drake? Have you ever listened to her? No. His mom's music really is crazy good. Mom and Drake?

Her name's Molly Drake and it's haunting and beautiful. But I think there's probably room for it all. Like just like in comics, there's probably comedians that you feel like their jokes aren't as funny, but people like them. So it kind of works. Totally. And then there's people who are super like joke centric and you know what I mean? Like I was trying to, there's some comedians, comedians, there's musicians, musicians, there's like these different gradations or like levels to it but I do think that I guess what I'm saying is I

think it's a little bit silly that we do that because it's kind of like another way for the record label to market a band. It's not about the music at that point. And I just always love music. So I was like, why do you care about whatever they're wearing? Like I just, I want to hear what they have to say on the record, but teach their own. I know like there's a lot of people like I brought up David Bowie because I thought he was one of the most interesting performers, how he looked. He represented like this sort of punk attitude towards everything that was important. Like you can't separate the two. So he got to hang with Iggy Pop and John Lennon. It's crazy. What the the best of both worlds.

And he was bisexual. When I told my uncle, my uncle Clyde Sherry's dad that I was bisexual, he goes, that's all right. So was David Bowie. I was like, oh cool. I thought you were going to hate me. Even. Yeah. I wish that the David Bowie, like I wish that it was still, I was talking about this on stage where I was like, I wish it was still like considered. Oh, it's 750 considered punk to dress androgynously

and doesn't immediately make somebody like a. Like Harry Styles did it. So now it's like jump the shark. Yeah. Now it's like. Kurt Cobain did it and nobody assigned a make somebody like a. Like Harry Styles did it. So now it's like jump the shark. Yeah. Now it's like. Kirk O'Bain did it. And nobody assigned a certain thing to him. You know, it's like, I like that subversion of the expectation of what something is without attaching yourself to a certain thing.

Hockey is like the most boring. Guys are like, you wear a suit to the rink. Any sort of like individuality is kind of like frowned upon. Really? Yeah. It's like. I like that. You're just men. Yeah, but it's kind of painful. It's like, yeah, you get like if someone goes out of their way to be like a little bit bigger than the game or something, they get like immediately shit on.

Really? Yeah. Which is makes it tough to market guys because everyone's the same. Right. So I think like if you wore a shiny chain. Oh, yeah, you'd hear about it. Probably really like a chain over your tires. What if you wore a shiny chain. Oh, yeah, you'd hear about it. Really? Like a train over your tires. What if you dress like that guy? I think that's why I hang out with him because he's to live through it. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. So you just want to be a good guy, wife, head down, head down. Yeah. Like baseball, but even more. So when did the robotics come into sports of answering postgame questions with like, I feel like everybody's so media trained now and it's just the same boring answers to everything. When did that happen? Did you have to go through that media training? Yeah. And they're like, don't do a podcast in the basement. Yeah. No, I think like if I was younger, I probably would have not done this, but I am

who I am now and I've been around a while. So it's fine. But yeah, like things like this are like pretty, you know, they wouldn't, the team would be like, Hey, don't stay away from that. Right. You know? Wow. Yeah.

It's interesting. Even like, so we're being forced to be, they're like, be more, get more, do more, get more followers, be bae. And they're just like, you head down and get your teeth knocked out. I played on a team, the biggest podcast in hockey is called spit and chicklets. And they do, they're a little offside. That's awesome. They're like real.

It's nasty as a man. They talk shit. And I was on a team and one of the young guys was like so fired up to do it. If you get on spit and chicklets, it's kind of like, OK, I made it. And the team told him no. And I was like, huh? It was insane. Their team said no?

The team, the GM was like, no, you can't do it. Like, we just don't want that attention on you right now. Like, why? Huh? I was insane. Their team said no? The team, the GM was like, no, you can't do it. We just don't want that attention on you right now. Why? So do you think if someone broke through and showed that that... I think you're the one who could do it. ... could recover? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Put on a dress. There's guys who are starting to. It's coming through a little bit. Play in a dress. Or if you retire. I feel like if you retire, you can... Yeah, totally. Once you retire, they kind of have to... Isn't there a whole podcast, or is that spit and spitting? There's some podcasts dedicated to like the stories of the missing curfew. Yeah, that one's called and they just tell

ridiculous stories. What about a gay hockey player? Are there any of those? I imagine there is. I don't know. There are secrets. Yeah, it's like it's really. Yeah, there's what about like a hockey player? There's a guy, his name's his last name is Pro Cop, but he he came out and he's playing in the minors and I know him. He's a great guy. So he was like kudos to him. He's kind of like the first active professional hockey player. It's like world war two times for you guys. It is. Yeah. But it's, there's some great organizations

that are pushing it. Keeping it a secret makes it more fun. I'm sure. I mean, obviously it's just statistics. I'm sure there's a few. So right. It is cool. Yeah. Is there a major men's sport where there's openly gay play like NBA, NFL, MLB? I can't think of. No, it's like, it's, you know, they're in the leagues. For sure. Yeah. It's kind of bizarre.

Probably a lot of basketball players. Why? At NFL players. No. Yeah. Hockey. No. Is for sure the gay sport. No, hockey's not the gay sport. No. Yeah? Hockey.

No. Hockey's not the gay sport. Oh, okay. I thought you were making fun of my new best friend. I'm getting it back for the hairline. For me? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, he's hanging on by a thread over there. It's always his hair. What the hell, man? Your next cut's your last cut. What is this, spitting chicklets? They have to go. Yeah, you guys have got to go. Boys?

What do you want people to get eyes on? You guys have a new outlet? What is this, spitting chicken? They have to go. Yeah, you guys gotta go. Boys? What do you want people to get eyes on? You guys have a new album coming out. Yeah, we just announced a tour too today. I don't know when this comes out, but we're going to the album is called Automatic, the

World Tour, Automatic World Tour, playing city field here in New York. Let's go. We're doing like in Denver, doing mile high, which is really exciting. And Chicago, we're doing soldier field. So like those are the big ones. I'm just highlighting those, but it's going to be like, it's good crazy tour. So that's great albums insane to open every show. Yeah.

Get ready for my brand of in your face, bald comedy. Punch up dot live slash in finance. Jordan Jensen, Patreon.com. All our dates. Come and see us live. It's a good time. Patreon.com slash B and E and pod. We love you and we'll see you next time. Thank you guys. That was great. Yeah. Thank you for having me. Bye. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what you say anymore.