Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Ep138: One Of Those W/ Robert Kelly and Paul Virzi

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

As always , Thanks for watching! Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here ! : https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast - Get 15% off your Autoblow order with the code SKA15 at https://www.autoblow.com Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ See Jordan Live! : https://punchup.live/jordanjensen WATCH JORDAN’S SPECIAL HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s @jordanjensenlolstop Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! : https://punchup.live/ianfidance IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 Follow Robert Kelly : https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ https://punchup.live/robertkelly/tickets https://robertkellylive.com Follow Paul Virzi : https://www.instagram.com/paulvirzi/ Paul Virzi: Reasonable Man | Full Comedy Special : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz9wjGimAoo https://www.paulvirzi.com Bone To Pick Podcast : https://www.instagram.com/bonetopickcast/ https://linktr.ee/bonetopickcast https://www.patreon.com/bonetopickcast   @bonetopickcast  Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/ 

Hey everybody, come and see me on the road. Ian Fy Dance.com for all my dates and all the fantastic Fy Dance in time. That's right. I am coming to Kansas City, Funny Bone, March 28th, 29th, April 4th and 5th, Salt Lake City, Wise Guys, Austin Moon Tower Comedy Festival, April 16th to 19th, Stand Up Live, Huntsville, Alabama, April 25th, 26. And then in May, I'm going to stand up live Phoenix, Arizona comedy on Carlson, Rochester, Philadelphia, all over baby. Let's go come fight dance with me. Ian fight dance.com for all the dates, punchup.live slash Jordan Jensen for all hers. Come out, say what's up. Give us a hug, have a smoke, hear a joke. We'll see you there. Enjoy the show. Coffee, ice, no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt

So why ride when you're being Ian, being Ian Life is shit but you're positive Let's find out what it's like to live a life Being Ian, being Ian. With Jordan. Are you all right? Is she all right? It's called basement nightmares. Where I go to basements that are fucking nightmares.

Shut up. This fucking cat piss infested place. Listen to me dude, You get too many animals. Is she all right? What's wrong? No, why would I have drugs on the ground? Where's my chocolate? No, I had a chocolate bar. I had a chocolate bar. Maybe a night quill fell somewhere. I said a chocolate, you had a chocolate bar. Where's the chocolate bar? Where is it? I don't know. She's not shaking though. Is she?

She's tired. Is that your dog? You're so funny. No. You worried about having chocolate? No, your dog dining from the chocolate? She probably just got stimulated. She's good. Yeah, she's probably tired from, I mean, she's, my mom's up there, the cat's running around. No. What's that? What that there? That's part of the decoration. Put a crack. Yeah. Design wise.

Want to make it look nice. Want to make it look like it, like fits with the old aesthetic. It does, man. You know? Is that Elton John? Bobby, what do you take? No, it's Warren's Yvonne. Do you know Warren's Yvonne?

Are you out of touch? It's not out of touch. You don't know Warren's Yvonne? You're too in touch. No. You're too hip. Did you guys start the podcast? What? Look at his socks. He doesn't have them. Dude. You don't know Warren's Yvonne? You're too in touch. No. You're too hip. Did you guys start the pocket? What? Look at his socks. He doesn't have them. Dude, you're not wearing socks. No, I'm wearing socks. What a smelly. Oh you got socks. You got girl socks on.

You don't know Warren's Yvonne? Dude, Warren's Yvonne is one of the greatest artists, musicians of all time. Yeah, you know the song Werewolves of London? Yeah. That's what he's known for, but he's, he's so much more than that song. Not, not, I mean, that song, that's a pop song. He's like a, he's like a musician's musician. Like he was, he was like responsible for so many people's careers and he wrote with David Bowie and like his story is super interesting. No, he sounds interesting, but don't shame me because I don't know who Warren Zvon is. Well, but you're old. You should know who Warren Zvon is. You're older. And I don't shame me for knowing about music.

Why don't I go upstairs and why don't I get your lovely mom and we'll talk about old. Say? Me and your mom, me and your mom, probably are the same age and we'll fucking hang out. So when you call me old, then you call her old. Do you know Boss Gags? Yeah, I know fucking Boss Go. What's that do? Boss Gags!

Was unsure where you were gonna go with that mom comment? The show has not started. No, you thought, dude, you oughta get my- Grabbed my fucking breast. Do you think I would ever, your mother is probably one of the fucking top 10 moms I've met. Yeah. Aw.

And I know that like this. Thank you. Versus mom, fucking. ten moms I've met. Yeah, and I know that thank you Fucking you never met Where's you were like this the Italian a version goes I love how I love how we're arguing Jordan's like, is my dog dead? And Verzi keeps going, do we start recording? I literally was like, I don't know what the fuck. Your mom is fucking awesome. Can you, but Bob, you did something.

You did some, first of all, can you, your hand is on me. Number one. I like that. You do? Yeah. Fuck, dude. Like, no, here's the deal. You can't, what you did, you did a shitty thing today.

You did a shitty thing just now. What'd I do? You know what you did. No, you did. Oh, I know exactly what he's gonna say. This motherfucker knows. This is how you're gonna turn, here's what you do. No, no.

Here's what you turn into, because you guys, both of you don't have class. That's it. And he's just mad. I wanna say something. Will defend Verzy. No, no, no, of course you will because you don't fucking like me. I want to say something. Will defend Verzi. No, no, no. Of course you will, because you don't fucking like me. I like you a lot.

If she'd defend me, if she was here right now, if she cared about this podcast, she would defend me. I don't know what's going on. You're interrupting my point. You don't even know what I'm going to say. I know you fucking... Here's the deal. I don't know I'm not coming to a podcast studio. I don't know I'm coming to somebody's apartment and I'm there and, you know, he where to be I park I walk in and then all of a sudden I walk you walk in with a loaf Of fucking but gift make sure you look like an asshole fucking amazing gift pursuit though bread

Because he said it's in my apartment. Wait, what are they saying about? Can I just say something? Let me just say it to him You said my apartment the studios in my it says it in the text, to both of us, so don't say it was people dedicate their apartments to podcast videos. And when I, when I, did you think he had enough money to have a fucking studio and a fucking apartment? I do. I've built-

This is a studio and an apartment. Yeah, I'm talking separate buildings. You have combined- There's separate entrances. Buddy, just let it go, okay? I'm gonna show up with a fucking fucking charcuterie board next time. I didn't know you were doing that. But when I go to somebody's place for the first time,

we do an impression of what it sounds like. I bring I tell you, I tell you, there's a house you walk in. No, not you walk in. Guy walk in. OK, me. My mother is a guy. You know, you know! You bring food! You know I need that to survive! I don't know!

And you don't bring the thing I need to survive! Food! I bring bread and you bring a mother! Shut up! Here's another thing! First of all, your mother is a guy. First of all! Oh my God! Jesus Christ! I brought bread. I brought a little gift. Are you yelling so my mother can hear upstairs?

Yes! Mama! Why are you so loud? Oh mama! Who sang that song? Queen. Freddie Mercury. We should get that.

Thank you. Because you fucking look like the lead singer. I know. And you act like him too. More- Listen. Because he was bisexual and he loved cats. That's right.

Anyway, go ahead. That was a compliment. I'll turn anything positive- It was a compliment. That was a compliment anything Cats was not an it's not a nag. I have two upstairs. No, no, no, didn't you see the fucking cat? No, no, no, I smell the cat piss. You're on your period. You can't smell cat piss buddy First of all, you can you walk by an open litter box? Yeah, it's yeah, and so you're gonna smell it clean the cat piss you get guests I mother's upstairs did clean your mother's upstairs have some cats the cat the cat the cat piss. You get guests. Your mother's upstairs. Did clean. Your mother's upstairs. Have some respect for your mother. The cat. The cat. The cat. Goes to the bathroom in the litter box. Are you singing? So there's going to be a little bit of a thing by the box, but do you smell it down here? No. Now I'm lost. And you can't. What are you talking about? You can't come to somebody's

house and start insulting them. Exactly. Well, at least I do it to him. You're going to go on the ride home. I fucking do it to fucking cat piss. You smell that shit? I did it to his face. Do me a favor. Do me a favor. The cat piss I do think has to stop. It's only in the area where the litter box is. Go to anyone's place that has a litter box. It's going to have a little aura of cat smell in a place where they go to the bathroom. And I defy you to go look right now.

They are clean boxes. Oh, I definitely smelled it. Okay. Yeah, but I didn't say anything. They're clean boxes. I just think maybe it could be in the guest bedroom instead of right and where everybody has to walk. Yeah, but they, but they can't come in and out the door, slam shut when it opens up.

You know what I mean? I'd have to get a cat door down in this metal door. I'm just saying calmly, Ian, when I was coming here, I said, let me stop and get a little bread or some little pastries or something for everybody because it's your house. We're coming to the house, I don't know who's gonna be here. That was very nice.

I bring a gift. Your mother's here, met her, and I'm like, you know what? Yeah, you have it, sweetie. She loved it. Yeah, and she's one of the, I would say, I'd bring it down Your mother's here. I'm like, you know what? Yeah. You, you have it. She loved it. Yeah. And she's one of the, I would say I bring it down top six moms. That's very nice. Is this my one? Is this my one? That's your one. It's like two. What? What? Whoa. Oh my God. What? You heard me. I went to the bakery to get some for everybody. I get why people say that we're married. This is how we act.

Yeah. Isn't it nice? Can I say something real quick? You've become beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Not you.

You've always been pretty. Listen, when I met you, Jordan, when I met you, not so much, but now, holy shit, you look great. Thank you so much. Thank you. I really do. You came into your own kid. I tell you what I did. I'll tell you.

I went to other people and I said, please help me. And they said, no problem. Did you go to Judy Gold? I went to, I went to Judy Gold. You got to go. Yeah, she's got to get taller. She's what do you want? She's my clitoris fluffer, actually.

She fluffs up my clit. Yeah, she talks and she does her act into it. She goes, get up, get up, fluff yourself up. You're embarrassing us. You're embarrassing us. And then it's a psycho and it's not a psycho. He's a psycho. Oh, you're a watch guy.

Why do you guys say it like that? That's so annoying. You have a nice watch too. I love your watch. Oh, thanks. Casio, yeah. Yeah. Japanese watch.

I like all watches, you fucking loser. You know what's funny? So there's an Instagram account called watches of Joe Rogan and everyone that's done Rogan. They, they freeze frame a picture of their watches and then make a post. And it's like X this guest $35,000 watch this guest $10,000. And I have an all mine. It says Ian firedance Casio 2395. I have the cheapest watch of anyone that's ever been on Joe Rogan. Casio Japan watch, Japanese Seiko and Casio from Japan. Amazing timing on the watches. Really good watches. What is the timing? Timing. They keep good time.

That's right. Some watches that are expensive don't keep good time. What do you mean they keep good time? This one says, what does this time say Seiko no, oh eight 813 No, that keeps terrible time because that says 830. No, that says 821 to know cuz that's that's the 15. That's the 20 So that's it. Oh, yeah, you're right. No, that's that's it's the 15, that's the 20. So that's it. Oh yeah, you're right. No, that's, that's, that's it's four 15. Yeah. The guy around the corner. Oh, by the way, I was on Paul's side about you bringing food and whatever and him being

like, why didn't I was in an apartment? Whenever I do a podcast for the first time, I bring treats. Something, right? You bring something. Even if it's at a studio. So now that you said you were on his side, now you got to say the rest of it. Finish the sentence. You're on my side. Can I say something? You're on my side. You're on my mom body side. Can I say something? You say. It's a free world. With all due respect, I'm in your place, so that means a lot. Yes. I don't fucking disrespect anybody in their place. I can't do that. Yes.

Okay. You came on our podcast. You didn't bring shit. Whoa, you're right. It wasn't in a house. What? No, he said anyway. It was a live episode. Live episode. Even more, even more recent. Not in a studio.

Not in a live episode. I agree with him. Not a live episode. He just, he just fucking admitted it. It was a lot, a live episode's different than like a studio. You're a rat when you get around people. You're a rat. You're fucking rat of me. Are you with the bread? Soon as I came here, you back the bread for the fete.

Could you come in hand and pop me some people and shit I'm standing like an asshole. By the way, welcome back to another episode of Be A Deer with Jordan. Welcome back to another episode of D&E with Jordan. Welcome back. What was that? That's a horn. That's a horn.

So so far it starts the show. Okay. Paul Verzi and Bobby Kelly. Great New Year comics. Honored to have you here. Bone to Pick podcast. You know what dude podcast.. Bone to pick podcast. You know what, dude, podcast. The Verzi effect podcast.

We just had to promote bone to pick. That's it. You guys have your own podcast called Bone to Pick. Yeah, you don't. What? And you got and you guys do bicker the whole time. We might need a new picker. No. Oh, you guys are fucking close, huh? Yeah. You guys can do that.

He'll save it and eat it later. I've gotten stuff off of you before. I know, but not you never put our fingers each other's noses. That's really nice. So as well as I get it, I would tell you I wouldn't get it. So anyway, yeah. What do you do on bone to pick? Pick bones. Tell us about bone to pick.

I don't like your interview skills. Yeah, this is a setup here. I got bone to pick with YouTube right now. Tell us about it. I don't like your CNN morning TV vibes. You're putting it on me. Live here with Bobby Kelly and Bob Bursey. Bob Bursey. To talk about their podcast, Bone to Pick. You're not a helicopter asshole. Please send it to me. Send it to me in the field. We're going to send it over to Jordan. Reporter extraordinaire from WBIWJ

Jordan Jensen. Jordan, what's going on down there? Why do you have Only one of you can have the finger in the ear. That's great. Thanks Jim. The delay! Because it takes a long time. It's great. Thanks, Jim. The delay. Because it takes a long time.

The delay was fucking great. Let's do that for real. Ready? I'm here with Click and Clack, the Car Talk brothers. I like your new shoes. Thank you. This is so gay. Thanks. What are those shoes?

So tell us. Are those hipster like, what are you doing? A bow. What are you doing? Why is she doing that? She's presenting. I don't want to, I don't want that in my face. She's peacocking. I don't want that in my face.

Come on, Bobby. Jancy, come on, get out. Why don't you pick a bone with this thing? What do you say, buddy? Jancy, get out. You're a professional. Hey, hey, hey, you brought Brett to the podcast. Let me offer her to you. It's very generous to you. Take a spin. And when I say generous, I mean, generous.

I met your mother. Yeah, we a friend. We're doing a podcast. Yes. Where we do a bone podcast. What is that? Oh, I hate that guy. That Jiminy Glick. Of course you do. Oh, my. I mean, we do.

We do need a new producer, though. If there's one. Why? What happened to Big Man Mike? Don't know. Really? Well, let's just say we might be in the market. What about this? We don't know. Ethan, he didn't want to deal with two uncles no one wanted?

Ethan. Ethan, you want to get some bread every episode? You like, you like Bajuko? Late breaking news? We don't know yet. We're not, we're kidding. But there's... Yeah, well, nah, nah, nah.

Is it the one guy who has a kid? No. No, we're the guys with the kids. Yeah, but he he's a good dude. Oh, he's there. We're joking. He's a good dude. And well, yeah, we'll see. Now, what is this pattern? This podcast? Is that a fucking code?

You just do something to him. You just show me to show you this. What? I wasn't going to show it to you later. To later. But you usually do it at the end. Oh, God. What the fuck, dude? Oh, my God. That's just dude. Hold on a second. How do I get mine going? What the fuck? They did. No, they did mini scare.

They did mini scare. Mini scare is my favorite. There's big scare which is Ian which is this and then there's mini scare which is what you guys did. Oh my god Bobby touch her and I will fucking get stabbed to prove a point. Go ahead. What do you have? What do I have? Is that legal? I think we all killed each other. Fuck, dude. And Paul's are like, we recorded. Did this stay start?

I mean, what happened? Paul has bred with your mother. That's fucking nuts. I love how Ian went, if you touch her, I'll kill her. Like I stabbed my friend Jordan. You fucking idiot. I think if he defends my life enough, I'll kill her like I'd stabbed my friend Jordan you fucking idiot If he defends my life enough, I'll kiss him

Why do you guys keep Why do you keep going on the ground? Well, she was looking at the dog. I'm looking for our fleshlight Is that how you close the show? Yeah. Oh You're right, how do we the show? Yeah. We have to auction this off. Oh, you're right. How do we do that? You get the names? Oh, we'll do it later. Have you used that? I knew this was gonna be fucking crazy.

You both have ADHD. You both all over the fucking place. You guys just had a fight that was incoherent to anybody. Yeah, you guys were like, let me tell you something. No, I'll tell you something. No, let me tell you something. I open the door, I close the door. Here's the thing about you.

And you know you don't even know my mother. You guys just can't ever tell you on the news! You held your thing up! Both of you don't do this! One person does this! The person on the street does it! Not the person in the studio! My earpiece had a bad battery! You don't do that! You change the battery during the break!

She's on the street, she does this! One person does this! We are a cable cable access show. She was delayed. She was delayed. I'm sorry. Yeah, she was delayed in the field. She goes like this. Listen, he has the earpiece.

This stuff doesn't. He's in a soundproof fucking studio. No, or no. Where did you? That was pretty good. That was pretty good. You know what? Fucking spooky. studio. No, or no. Where did you? That was pretty good. That was pretty good. You know what?

Fucking spoons will calm any situation down. Oh yeah. Spoon lady. What? Dude, you don't know Spoon lady. Who's that? Who's spoon lady? On Instagram. She's kind of hot. She's used to travel. Young Ethan, pull her up. She used to travel on trains. She was a hobo. But she learned to use phones. But she's got no teeth. Train? You're fucking half the class Seattle. This fucking guy's a squirrel. I had a friend like that. When I was five I got raped.

He raped me, but it was a mutual rape. Jesus Christ. You suck. You know what? You're one of those. By the way, that's our merchandise for our podcast. You're wearing your own merch. Come on, baby. Doesn't it need a question mark?

Huh? No. Aren't you being like, you're one of those? No, no, you're just one of those. It's a statement. You're fucking one of those. You're one of those. He's one of those.

With their conscious choice to go racial. Right? It's not racial. Wow. You're trying to bury us, huh? I's not racial. Wow. You're trying to bury us. I see what you're doing. You fucking dirty hipster. That's why you live in this neighborhood. What did you get that? That just makes you that's a J too. You put that in your mouth backwards. Okay.

Come on. Let me light this up. Why can't I light it up? Go for it. No. Ian. All jokes aside, are we recording? I'll start sneezing. There's no windows.

Gross. Would it be funny if... Dude, if we didn't record, he's like, no, I'm kidding. We're going to record now. That'd be funny if we... We're going to start now. No. This whole thing was bullshit.

No. I'll walk out. What? I'll keep you here. If she leaves, I leave. Yeah. What is this alliance? I don't know. Let me check out the dog.

Oh! Yeah, the dog's looking pretty good. I mean, it's just nuts. Why are you doing that? Stop looking at my friend's ass. I'm not looking at her. She's presenting it. You said it was my gift.

You gave it to me. Yeah, and you didn't take it, so now I offer it to Paul. I'm taking it. Dive in there, buddy. You could. Come on. Some of that alidahnya. It's full of poop right now.

You really had to fucking ruin everything. You really had to ruin it. There's a lot of poop in my butt. You need to get in there. It's full of dookie. I'm going to hold you down. I got full of shit in my poop. Yeah. Dude, I love for something to slip in there.

The poop can slide right out. Oh, wow. Do you need help? I got full of shit in my poop. Yeah. I'd love for someone to slip in there. The poop can slide right out. Do you need help? No, no, no, no. You guys are my shooting fans. You're not a morning pooper? What? I got a big pooping problem.

Me too. You have IBS? Yeah, we have IBS. We are reversed. We have an IBS constipation I right? She's a little bit constipated I'm a little bit diarrhea all the time. Oh, okay. Well freaking frack with the shitting situation here Yeah, yeah, I take one sip of coffee one bite of something and I poop every can you do like metamucil or something for that? Or no, I take a probiotic that's helping. Okay, then it's still gives me a belly ache

I shit like a rope, you know, Bobby taught me how to travel. You taught me how to travel. You said you take the earliest flight, you have coffee, you get to the hotel, you nap, you shower, you grow the fuck up. That's what you said. And it's true. It's true. And we met in the Delta lounge. Remember? Yeah. You met Coyote. Because we're fucking lounge buddies. You and I. We're lounge buddies. You and I were plane buddies. We rode on the same plane back from. Thank God we were both in first class. Cause that would have sucked if one of us wasn't. Let me tell you something.

Where were we coming from? I don't know. Some were weird. Some gig. I don't know. It was weird. Some gig. You were somewhere.

I was somewhere. We were talking shit on passengers through text message. Right. That's my favorite thing. I feel like I invented it, but I've seen other comics do it now. Me and Judy Gold. Text messaging? No, me and Judy Gold, we were going to Montreal one time,

as people, they were having like a delay, so people were coming on very slow. So every person, take a picture of them, send a little description, and then they'd send the description back. We kept doing it with everybody. Oh, that's fun. This guy's raped, squirrels, you know what I mean? Like weird shit. This guy's, you know, this lady, this lady has

an eating problem, but she got it together, but she's losing it again. Stupid shit like that. But we had it. The worst time is have you been on a plane when you're, when somebody's in first class and you're not, you're like, ah, just go. And then somebody, you like suck my dick and they got to see you. Oh, who's that kid? I buy first class every time you don't care. Really? You have to. Yeah, I have to. I got it. I've done it. I can't go back. I go with the upgrade. What you poop on a plane delta people poop on planes. Yeah. Have you, I can't be near the poop plane people. Yeah. Delta sky. Did it one time in my little miles diamond medallion. I get upgraded to first class all the time. Yeah. Delta sky. Did it one time in my little miles diamond medallion. I get upgraded first class all the time. Yeah. Diamond medallion too. Here's the problem. My wife's a nickel chaser. She goes, you'll just get upgraded. Easy.

Nickel chaser. I know she's one of those. She won't let me get first class all the time. Looking for a new producer. I get it. Cause I bring coyote every time I need room. That's why we're here. I'd rather just lose money. You know? And I live in a tiny little apartment. I ain't got nothing. Except for first class. Now, this podcast you do, Bobby. How do you pick your bones?

I've never wanted to throw Mike in somebody's teeth more in my life than right now. You know what that- Where do you get your bones from? I can't. I can't do it, Ian. It's funny. I can't. I took a train here.

I feel dirty already. Have you ever gotten hustled by the boss? I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I've never gotten a job. I can't do it. Ian. It's funny.

I can't. I took a train here. I feel dirty already. Have you ever gotten hustled by the bones guy outside the cellar? The guy who has the loose bones. That guy. Oh, the cigarettes. No, he goes with it.

Lose bones. He gets a big tall white guy, his buddy to knock into you or to bump into you so that you move and you go towards the little black guy and then he drops all these bones and he goes, you made me drop my food. And then you look closely and it's like licked clean bones. It's funny. No, I want to though. Yeah. You have a guy. There's one in India, the poop guy. So one guy comes up, slicks poop on your shoe.

The other guy walks up and goes, hey, man, you get shit on your shoe. And he goes, there's a guy over there that cleans shit off shoes. And then the guys over there just cleans shit off shoes. What a business! It's on the internet. Yeah, but be great. What is it in India that's like so believable? It's so gross.

But everybody's like, oh no, thank you so much. Not knowing that his friend is the one who flicked the shit on the shoe. We should do that. That's India's version of sneaker heads. I'm driving down the street. I'm driving down the street and this woman, I see her just taking something and throwing it at the car I'm driving down the street. I'm driving down the street and this woman, I see her just taking something and throwing it at the car I'm in.

And I was like, smile at her. And then I keep driving and then I see her like mutter something and flick something at my car. And I was like, hey, what did you say? And she was like, nothing. And I was like, what did you say? And she goes, oh, well you almost hit me at that stop sign. So I was thinking you were gonna hit me again.

And I go, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. And then she got so overwhelmed by me apologizing that she just took, it must've been like a sunflower seed and just went inflicted at my face. It was crazy. It was like, she was so committed to it. Oh, not odd. You just went, can I say what happened yesterday? As if you were like, and then this, and then I punched her in the fucking.

Yeah. Like somebody just flick you in the face. I thought it was a great story. Thanks. I thought it was compelling. It didn't go where I thought it was going to go. And it was cute at the end. It wasn't so aggressive.

I felt bad. You know what else happened? I was outside the cellar and a guy said, you're Jordan Jensen. And then he said, lesbian. How crazy is that? I liked it. Really? I did like it.

So then you got my message. She had sunflower seeds. You never apologize in New York. I was like, I'm so sorry. Really? I did like it. So then you got my message. She had sunflower seeds. You never apologize in New York. I was like, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hit you. It's a nice sweet story.

And then she just went, she just looked at another sun test. What did you do? I went, Oh, and then I kept driving. I was in a good mood. You were driving? Yeah. What car? Did you get that car?

No, I didn't break it up. Whose car were you driving? Oh, the first time I met you, the first time I saw you, Jordan, I thought thought you were you were sitting at a table at the cellar and I thought you were Rachel. So I go hey, Rachel, yeah, because like I'm like cool with Rachel and we talk when we see each other and you were me you were sitting. No, I didn't know you and you were sitting there and I go oh hey and you just go like hey and I was like what the fuck is wrong with Rachel? You're on my podcast showed up fucking late and I was like this what the fuck is wrong with Rachel? First time I met her, you were on my podcast, showed up fucking late. And I was like, this fucking, who's this chick?

You and I go, what the fuck you late for? She goes, yeah, I was banging a dude, sorry. And you sat down. Really? And I was like, gotta respect her. Gotta respect that. Oh, I thought that was Jack. Yeah, you were fucking, you were like, I was banging, sorry. That dude, you really had to take a crank to get his dick out of you.

This guy had a hog. Yeah, a little hog, yeah. Is this your boyfriend? Your ex boyfriend? XX. Okay. Yeah. Still friends. Okay.

Big ol' hog. Shout out, Jack. Shout out, hog. That was fun. Who was I on with? Was I with Ian? I thought we were over. You were like, that was fun.

Bye, guys. I thought you were getting us out of here. So, Bonapick is a... Is that a Brace? Is that a Kabbalah bracelet? What, this one? Yeah. He's got six of them. So Bonapick is a- It's pretty fun and quick. Is that a Brace- We need a producer.

Is that a Kabbalah bracelet? What, this one? Yeah. He's got six of them. Yeah, well here's the reason why- Hi everybody. I'm back on the mic to tell you about, yep, you guessed it, auto blow. Why waste time on Pornhub when you could get a blow job that syncs up to videos on your VR headset. I mean, this is a question that man has been asking since the dawn of time.

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you. It doesn't have to be single play. You can have a friend come over and nibble each other's nuts with it. Try it out. It's actually a pretty funny conversation icebreaker. Like, can you believe they make this thing? What if we tried it? I say try that. And if you want to try it, you should head to autoblow.com and use the code SKA 15 to get 15% off your purchase. That's autoblow.com code SKA 15, SKA 15 for 15% off. Check it out. What happened? Oh, my watch isn't telling efficient time. Now it's an Omega Speedmaster. The moon watch. This tells exact time. I see. Oh, you gotta have the exact time. You can't be a second. You can't be on the

moon and be fucked. How much was that watch? Don't tell me. I want to know how much. 8000. Was it $30,000? How much was it? Sp spent it $30,000. He probably spent $70,000. $40,000. Why are you going up stupid? Because I thought maybe you were tricking me. No, no, no. We're here live with Bobby Kelly. He is about to tell us exactly how much the watch costs. Jordan, throw it to him in the field. Thank you so much, Jim. Hi. How much does your watch cost? Well, this watch retails for $9,000. I was close with eight.

I'm pretty good at that. Guess how much this one was. That watch right there is probably $1,500. $250. Why do you do this, people?1,200. $250. No, $500. $500. Why do you do this people? Oh wow.

This was $25. Does it tell good time? It tells better time than theirs. Down in the village, right? At the Seiko place? I ordered this off them. Oh you did? Why?

Seiko's a grind. Because I bought one for my manager in the mail version. Grand Seiko is, you know how much Grand Seiko is? It's like 10,000 dollars. Jose Grand Seiko. You're buying your manager shit like that? Why does it say Sunday though? It's not Sunday. You gotta fix it. Can I fix it? Hey, hey, you know how much the watch I want to get is the next one? Oh God. Let me guess. 37k. Hold on. 40,000 dollars. $40,000. You can't do more than $40,000.

$50,000. Shut up. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000.

$50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000.

$50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. $50,000. Why would you ever do that? That is so gross. Here's the thing. I chimed in with it. Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door? No. It's much better to take these kinds of things. Here's the thing. Seriously.

With a sense of poison rationality. Here's the thing. Wait, it's like, okay, so you buy. Close those fingers. Buy a watch. You buy a watch. Buy a watch. Close them.

Buy a watch. For $10,000. Uh-huh. That watch goes up to $16,000. Sell it, now you get $16,000. So you got a piece of real estate on your wrist. What the fuck is happening? 100%. It's a, it's an investment that you can enjoy. A Rolex, a watch that actually goes up in value is something you buy something like a car. It's not going to

depreciate at all. You ain't going to enjoy that when someone rib it off your wrist. I saw him rip something. I will fuck it. They ain't taking it. This is my kids heirlooms. Oh my god You almost hit her. Stop being so protective. She could beat you up. That's not true I'm more afraid of her than crazy beats big in a fight. I'm a more you're not crazy. I'm not big No, you're too sensitive. He's not crazy. He's not sensitive. She's Thank you, sweetheart What's that what were you about to say I was about I think you might be able to take them No, you need to say? He's like, all right. What's that? What were you about to say? I was about to say, I think you might be able to take him. No, you need to say that she's not big.

Yeah. Because nobody took that big. No, tall. Nobody. You're not big. No, you're not big like big, you're tall. Oh, they're big? No, you're taller.

Don't, Coyote's scared of that. What do you mean? She's taller than you. I am taller. And if she got a hold of you, she's got more leverage. And I'm crazy. I'm big and crazy. Did you just fart? No, I made a noise. I heard it.

I went, oh. No, that was your asshole. No, it wasn't. Ian. I promise. Ian, don't fart. It was not a fart. Here's a question. Here's a question I have.

Why did you just touch me? Here's a question I have for you too. I need to know this question. Between the two of you, who truly is, because it's hard to tell, who's crazier? What's your definition of crazy? I guess a combination of mental illness. Let's do that game. Put a finger down. Can I say something? Bob, why are you holding a microphone like it's a drink?

Here's the thing. You're mentally ill, but you're trying to fix it. You're mentally ill and you're living in it. That's such a not true assessment. Why'd she say yeah? Why'd you say so many words to say not true? Because I'm flabbergasted at this accusation. Are you in therapy?

Yes. So he's trying, he's in therapy. Aaron, I'm coming up on 10 years sober. You're not sober. Yes I am. I had therapy today. You're not sober. What are you talking about?

You're LA sober. No I'm not. Are you fucking stupid? You smoke fucking crack, man. Shut the fuck up. Everybody knows what you do, math head. But it helps me. I have to do my math problems and solutions.

Ten years sober and therapy. He's trying, dude. Thank you. He's trying. I'm in therapy. Thank you. Sober? Yeah.

How long in therapy? A year. Why would you say hoof? Three years with one guy. Three years I've been with Alan. You've not been with Alan for three years. You started therapy after we started the podcast. I've been with Alan. You've not been with Alan for three years. You started therapy after we started the podcast I've been with Alan for three years. Are you I'm with Alan

No, because I think it's foolish if everyone sees the same there hundred percent It's a dumbass shit. That's my bone to pick. Yeah, I like that. No, seriously. Is that your bone? Tell us that's a bone. Hey everybody, welcome to Bone to Pick. I'm Robert Kelly. I'm Paul Verzi. And this is a bone. This is a segment of Bone to Pick podcast. Okay, no improv space.

Well, we're on their fucking show. We can't do that. Yeah, don't do that segment. Own it. They own it. This is their show. When they did the thing with the thing, they owned it. And then she did the pause and they waited and they owned it.

It was awesome. Okay, and this is a Bone to Pick podcast. Fuck, man. Try it again. Ready? Hold on. Hey everybody. Guys welcome back to WBIWJ, Ian and Jordan, 104.5 AccuWeather News.

We are here to, don't you dare do what you're gonna do them to me. What? Don't do that to me. We are here with the bone to pick podcast. Jordan I like you, that will ruin our relationship forever. I was going to do it to them. You got so scared.

I did, I did, I did. Okay, I won't do it. I'll show you crazy. Why, what's wrong with you? She's not gonna shock you. You'd never hit him with that. No, no, I'm very against it. I'm very against the taser being put on other people.

We've only had it happen once. No, you might've tased somebody. Tom Segura tased. Oh, Tom Segura. Ethan. Who's Tom Segura? Shut up. What happened to Ethan?

Ethan, did it hurt? Ethan wanted it. Why don't you two tase each other as a means of getting over your differences? We're men, we don't do that. We don't play stupid games like that. I don't like this gendered language. It doesn't have to do with being a man.

That's Basement Brooklyn games. Oh, and where are we? We're in the basement of Brooklyn. You fuck a bitch. We're from Westchester. Wait, weren't we going to just do weren't we going to just do a bone? I'm Robert Kelly.

I'm Paul Verzi. And this is a Bone to Pick podcast. Basement Edition in Brooklyn, in Brooklyn with Ian and Jordan. And what's your bone? And what do you got? That everybody goes to the same thing. Everybody goes to the same therapist.

Oh, oh, did all the comics go to the same therapist? Why do you hate that? Because I feel like one person shouldn't be privy to so many people's personal lives that are intertwined, the Venn diagram between all these people is this one therapist and I find that to be odd and a little alarming and it kind of shows that he, I think whether you want to admit it or not, I think he gets off on being this like New York City comic oracle. I fucking agree. And I, what's he going going to do start like a festival for all the people he's going to do a comedy festival for everybody.

You guys are projecting. Alan, I think I think the comics get off on it because it's this little club that they're part of. Dr. Allen's Comedy Festival. Tickets on sale. I agree with you. Yeah. It's weird to do that with everybody in the same business. I think the comics like it because they feel like it's like a secret club that they have. Yeah. That's just my opinion. It's not a secret club. I'll tell you what happens. What happens is you do Bobby's podcast, Bobby picks up the phone and goes, hey, Alan, I love you, man. You talk to Sam Morrell. Sam Morrell goes, I'm feeling a lot better about things. You start realizing Ronan's getting less neurotic

and able to hold a long-term relationship. You go, what's going on? How are my friends getting better? And then they all simultaneously go Alan. So you call that a psycho. Sam is never happy. Ron is fucking nuts. You're crazy. I went from not having a family my whole life being a fucking piece of shit. I have a beautiful son, a beautiful wife.

I have a beautiful home. I have a great life. I have dinners that I've always wanted to have as kids. One of my kids bed at night holding me holds me back. I never had that I created an amazing life sober 39 years Loving family loving wife and I have everything I've ever dreamed of and it's directly result from going to Alan The last 10 years and working on my shit sounds like you're in a cult Because you're mentally ill that Sounds like you're in a cult. Because you're mentally ill. That sounds like you're in a cult.

You're like, I got to give all grace to Alan. Yeah, like, where's your Alan's the one I said? I know you see it in here. You only hear what you want. You're crazy. I said 38 years sober, sober today for 30 years. So I run the steps. I go to meetings.

Yes, but you only have these meetings. So do I when I see you because I go to the 10 AM 12th street. You're doing math, dude. Open any book here. I bet this math in the book. Open the book. Alan gets, Alan gets, Alan gets 10%. Yeah. See, there you go. This perks. Dude, it's post-message. There's no meth in there anymore! Coyote. Put that butt away. You give Alan credit for all that and nothing like- Oh, also, fuck you. Whoa, dude.

You stink. Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Ah! Ah! Ah! God. Don't fuck with me, dude. I'm serious. You're the guy. I feel so much better. Don't put him near the mic. Why do you guys keep? Don't do it dude. Oh my god. How cool did he get? Holy shit. Stop dude. See it's fun. That felt so good. Holy shit that's wild. That's good dude. That's wild. My dick is popping right now. Somebody touch my dick. Get that little ghost tucker over here. Nah, I want him and you. I want two mustaches on my cock right now.

Woo! All right, what now? Jordan, don't give a bone. Okay, what, the bone? Yeah, what's your bone? That's the clip! My bone is, here's your bone? That's the clip! My- My bone is-

Here's my issue with Alan's- with going to Alan. You're gonna go to a new bone. Here's my issue. When you leave the office- Is that what it sounds like when you have sex? When you leave the office, do you hug or handshake or just walk out? Hug? What? You hug every time.

I get up, I hug him, and I give him a good hug. I love you, Manny. That is a violation. You should not be hugging your therapist. Because you were molested. I was, but also that has nothing to do with the fact that you shouldn't hug and say you love your therapist. Hugging your therapist is fine. I find that to be a violation. That's fucking nuts.

I had a therapist that hugged me afterwards and I told another therapist and they're like that is highly highly unprofessional. Hug him. No. I ask him if I can have a hug. Yeah he's the best. And he should say no. Yeah because you're a fucking mental patient. No. Try saying no to this. Look at me. Have a hug. No. What? Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Do it because you're sharing. Look at her. You're sharing. You're sharing your share. I have a hug. You're sharing with a voice child. You're sharing trauma and treating someone as if they're the father you've never had. And then you're giving them a hug.

Yeah. And that is a violation. If I have to pay my father to be around, I'll do it. He's dead. You still want the hug? No. Oh cares? If I have to pay my father to be around, I'll do it. He's dead. Do you still want the hug? No. Oh, fuck, I'm fucked up. I'll take the hug if you're ready. We're gonna love a hug.

Look at the way he moves. Can I have a hug? Can I have a hug? Eee, eee, eee. What do you want? Do you want to get molested? That's the weirdest thing ever, dude. Can I get a hug?

Oh, hug that cock with my mouth. What are you saying? Oh, what the fuck? What the fuck? That's why you're sick and you need Alan, piece of shit. Weirdest thing ever dude That cock was my mouth Oh what the fuck That's why you're sick and you need Alan Piece of shit Dude Ian

I was on your side until that shit I was like dude Ian's fucking trying to get Shit together man You don't want to be fixed What the fuck just happened What the fucking wrong Everything was fine What are we happened? Everything was fine. Oh Paul, what are we doing?

I was on his side. I'm like this guy doesn't want Alan and he's got his shit together and he's sober for ten years and he's going to therapy and then he just And meetings and sponsor and I'm doing the fucking deal And then you saw a little boy act out and got fucking horny. Jesus Christ.

We're in a basement. He said that he wanted both mustaches on his cock. And we're like, oh good one. And then he goes, oh! And then he turns back and... God damn it! Don't stop! No!

Isn't this fun down here? It really is. Your homophobia took you out of character. Real to you. Dude, the homophobia just put you back. Mom, save me some bread! Oh my god. Where do we go?

What the fuck? What was you eating? Oh my god! It was like a Teletubby taking off his outfit. But he didn't smoke a cigarette. It was like a Teletubby taking off his outfit, but he just woke up secret. It was crazy. Is that a beaver? Yes. Wow. Where'd you get all this shit, man? Like just call it from, this was from you?

Well, all that stuff is like fan art over there. And then these are records from my bunch of favorite bands, Missing Link angel dust, man, ball operation, IV, a fan made us this. This is me and Jordan. My agent gave me this. It's a sign, Henry Rollins, shepherd fairy, don't you think Henry Rollins has lost a little of his edge? No. What are you talking about? You don't know anything about it. Can I finish before you attack? Go ahead. anything about it. Why would you fucking finish? Can I finish before you attack? Go ahead. Go ahead. Why would you do that? I'm just saying he, he's back me up. He just showed you, he just showed you an autograph thing and you insulted it while he was telling you. I'm not insulting it. I'm good. Tell me one second. Hang on one second. Uh, Paul, Paul, real quick. Am I in the field?

You're in the field. Yeah. Yeah. Make sure that you, uh, you, uh, back me up on this one. Okay. No, cause you're welcome back to improvising with Bobby. I'm saying this, I'm saying this, I'm saying this. Uh huh.

He, he, this fucking guy, but now when you see him, he's how about this? I'll take back what I said. He's a little more. Well, he's lightened up a little bit. He's not as aggressive and fuck you. He's a little more he's looking back. I've seen a couple of interviews where you're looking back, man. Well, I used to be like this, but I'm not really like that anymore.

Oh, so you mean he's like, I don't think it's bad. Thank you. I don't think it's bad. Yeah. I'm just saying, don't you think? Oh, you mean he's like, I don't think it's bad. Thank you. I don't think it's bad. I'm just saying, don't you think, Oh, you mean he's evolved and grown? Henry Rollins has grown up a little bit fine, right? No, I'm not saying he's bad or good. I'm just saying you did used to be like, what the fuck are you looking at? Yeah. You know what I mean? Now do that at a certain age. You had that stink to it when you said it. Yeah. And now you're walking it back. There was a little stink and I'm walking it back. You know what? This America, God bless America. You're doing the, can I ask you guys something? What do you think about this? I mean, I think it's a cultural appropriation. He shouldn't wear that. He's not Indian. You

fucking pussy. You're not Indian and you shouldn't wear that. And I think that Indians would be, what are you doing to fucking carry their memory on? I don't wear Indian stuff. Thank you. So what do you do to, to appreciate the culture? I appreciate them. And I go to visit the reservoir twice a year. The reservoir where they keep all the Indian water. Don't call me dumb bitch. I'm still a man. I'm still a man. This basement doesn't give you powers. Oh God, your movement I thought was coming from him.

That Taze did something to you man. I like Taze Bobby. Taze Bobby is fucking nuts. I like Taze Bobby. I do like Taze Bobby. Is your dog okay? Yeah, is your dog all right? I'm really, all jokes aside. Is your dog all right? I'm really all jokes aside.

Is this dog all right? Dude, she's under there because we're fucking tased at each other. Screaming, screaming. She's sleeping like a machine. Did not hurt as bad as I thought. It was actually that was so funny. Yeah. I don't know. It was the palm of my hand that didn't has no nerve in it or something.

No. Should we all tase ourselves? I would like you to do it first in the palm of your hand. If I tase myself, may I redeem the hug? Yes. But. No, I don't want skin on skin, Bobby. Oh, the plane, the plane. You get really fucked up from that.

No, can you let go to the hospital and show with that or no? No, I mean, with the meds, with the drugs he's doing. Yes, but I'm not on your mother. I know it's not bad. It's not crazy. It's not crack either! Oxycodone! Oh my God. I really like Italian guy being serious.

Wait a second, could somebody get hurt? I'm also Greek. I'm starting to sweat. My mother's 100% Greek. Really? Yeah, I'm Greek. Tzatziki. Oh God! Did you get it? Just do it, let me do it, let me do it. Let me do it. Ian, let me do it. No, do you know,

dude, I just felt my, I could not bring it to my arm was like, you're going to love it. Do all seriousness. All seriously. You can't get a heart attack or anything from this. All seriously, you can't get a heart attack or anything from this fucking thing, right? No, I'm serious. What? Ian, you gotta love it, dude. Ian, Ian, Ian. Stop it. Ian, Ian, Ian.

You're gonna fucking love it, dude. Come on. Fuck, dude. Do it! Fucking man up, your mom's upstairs. You can do it. Do it! Yo, Ethan, Ethan, what are the ramifications of this I what it what I

Need to know what this is I mean Is anything gonna happen Do it do for all the people that need you to do it do it for the people Do for the people that are scared to do it. What's wrong? Yeah Buddy man up be the man you're supposed to be You're gonna do it do for the Indians do for the Indians I'm going, Ian. Ian. Ian. Ian. Ian. Feel me, I'm sweating. Oh, you're going to do it.

Do it for the Indians. Do it for the Indians. Do it for the Indians. Out of respect to the natives and being on... Easy. What? Being on indigenous land, I want to make Atlantis acknowledgement. Is that really what that is?

Yes. Because you really, like, you a fuck like on that level? Don't hold the microphone there. No. I like Native American culture. But I'm asking sincere questions from Guido. Sincere questions. No, but like you like Indians like that?

You like have crushes on them and stuff? No, like, dude, you like those fucking walters? No, I'm saying like that's what inspired that? That's what inspired the tattoo? You learned them and you were gonna have a heart attack all the way. I mean you fucking drew that up for him? Come on, do it. Do it. Just put it on.

Put it on first and then push. Put it on first and then push. On and then push. Now. You just gotta back off cause I don't like being told what to do. Don't do it. God, it really got me. Do it. I fucking did it.

I mean, fucking did it. Oh, my God. Do it. Do it. Do it. You do. I'm an asshole. What? No, no, no. She's not.

I'm busy. Oh, don't do it, Paul. Oh, do Paul. Do it. Be part of the team. It feels good, Paul. It's not that bad at all. Really? Oh, don't do it be part of the team it feels good Paul, it's not that bad at all really Paul's gonna do it I'm not what does that mean? I'm fucking tougher than you give me the thing Which button the red one don't do you're not that type of guy Paul is it gonna do I did a sweatpants No, no, you're so bad. They're fine

You're not that type of guy I don't recognize you. I'm gonna get that. Stop! Stop! Whoever's next! I'm not doing it! Whoever's next! Alright, let's go. What else do we have to talk about? What's going on? Would you do it?

What's happening? You know what? It got me worse than the shock was. It was a burn. Cause it was like. Oh my God. Didn't it feel good though? Didn't it just get you zipped?

It does. It does. It does zip you. My head feels different. I feel like I had a headache right now, but in a weird good way. Like I'm popped up now. He goes, Ian, ah.

Ian, ah. Oh dude. Oh my God. in a weird good way like I'm popped up now. Oh, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so funny. Oh, man. That one's too big for me. I'll do the little one. But those big ones. The little ones broken. It doesn't charge. Now, is your mom staying here? She's leaving tomorrow. She stays with you here. This is the first time she's ever stayed in my apartment.

That's awesome. Where is she from? Delaware. Delaware. Nice. So she drove up the other day. Dewey Beach near Dewey Beach or no? Nah, Dewey Beach is like two hours away. But we used to go to Dewey. What are you laughing at? Because Dewey Beach. Nobody gives a shit. I like Dewey Beach. I'm still laughing about Bobby losing his goddamn mind. I'm laughing about Paul being like, oh, stop. For real. Could somebody get injured or hurt in this moment? I like this. Do we beach? And we do it. No, I was didn't know if like you could get somebody could really get fucked up. You know, I think you do it for a while.

I'm really proud of you. I didn't think you would do it. Yeah, I'm proud of you. I was not going to do it by saying you're not. And you did it. I'm probably too. you, I didn't think you would do it. Yeah, thank you, really cool. I'm proud of you, see? I got him to do it by saying you're not and you did it. I'm proud of you too. You're a bone to pick, baby. I wasn't gonna let everyone. I'm not gonna let everyone lose, but a good way. Okay, I'll take it.

You're one of those. What is one of those? In a good way. It better be. Can I, Emmy? You know, honey, you've always been one of those. What's a one of those? One of those, it's either one of those, like gosh, she's one of those, good one. Or It's either one of those, like gosh she's one of those.

Good one. Or fucking he's one of those. Like that lady, like that, she's one of those. Stay away from her. Yeah. Like, oh he's one of us. No. No, that's another thing.

No, it's like somebody does something and they always do the wrong thing and you're like, yeah he's one of those. He's never gonna get it. Or you do the right thing, you're one of those. Yeah, and if you do the right thing, you're one of us. But it's mainly, you want, we don't do one of those. She's never gonna or you do the right thing in one of those. Yeah And if you do the right thing, you're mainly You want to we don't do one of us You should do one of us Okay

Welcome to one of us. I love this. She just says, okay. I have a spot Yeah, that is what I'm thinking. I have a spot at nine. You know, it's weird. It's nine o'clock I can't see jordan man. Like she's a tough one to read? It's 9 o'clock. I can't see Jordan, she's a tough one to read. Why? She's not tough to read. I can read people. What do you want to read? I'm Sicilian, I can read it.

Try to read. One of my eyes goes. Oh, I'm blind. Let me read Braille. Let me. Why would you do that to her face? Why would you touch anybody with your hands? I thought it'd be funny.

You've touched your balls 59 times today. Don't hit him. Oh my God. It's too much with the hand on the head. I've done this 59 times today. Don't hit him. Oh my God. No, Jordan is a cut. You can't tell. Like sweet, really sweet, but I can't tell if it goes like, like I punched a wall the other day. So there's anger. Why?

I mean, actually I went like this, but I was in a movie so I couldn't. So then I went like this and I hit the wall and you guys got in the, but I was in a movie, so I couldn't, so then I went like this, and I hit the wall and. What do you mean? You guys got in a fight with a movie? You were in a movie? I was not a movie, a photo shoot. You were in a photo shoot with somebody in the business?

Yeah. And you punched the wall? And so was it your photo shoot or with somebody? It was just my photo shoot, but I couldn't hit the, I couldn't fuck up my hand for it. Were you mad because of the person? Or you're mad because of the pictures? I was in a fight on the phone with somebody.

With a guy? And you punched a wall. Well, I always punch the wall, but I couldn't punch the wall because I didn't want my thing to blow up like it always does. And then if I was holding the, I didn't want to punch the wall because of the guy you're so I went like that. This is a guy you're dating. I always punch walls with everybody. I punch walls all the time. Oh, so you get like, I punch the walls Don't say that about my friend You know the girls that will just be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then they'll just go, haaah, and scream, buddy, right? That's a little thing. I love how we're talking and they're talking. Do little things get you angry, or is it a big thing? I will protect that boy.

I'll be on the phone with him. You are not taking my boy. He's our producer. He knows he's not. And my young lover. He is ours. He's my slave. And he's not leaving.

Buddy. Don't you dare say that about my little boy. He's gonna be hanging with us. He could do both. I mean, we literally just had multiple conversations, full-'s going to be hanging with us. He can do both. I mean, we literally just had multiple conversations, full fledged at the same time. Well first to the inside of my mind. Let's wrap up.

I got taste. Everyone's got spots. Why don't we tell the people at home where they could check you guys out. What's going on? Do it. Pauly V. Well obviously, bone to pick with Bobby Kelly. We might need a producer. Go to Mike.

We have Mike. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I mean, you know, we might. If you're out there and you're a nerd and you don't do stand up guys for my dates, go to Paul Verzi.com next week. I'm at the Pittsburgh improv and hilarities in Cleveland. We get love. We love that club. Next week. the week after that is Tempe and then the 28th, 29th San Diego. And on my way home on March 30th, I'll be doing Denver downtown. Check out my special reasonable man on YouTube. And that's it, Bobby. What do you got? All they want you to do is this.

Go to bone to pick. And listen to our podcast, go to patron dot com slash bone to pick cast, become a Patreon member. Just go check it out. It's me and him every week. And we do bones, things that piss us off. And then the best part, we do mostly fan bones.

Send them in and we do your video bones, photo bones. We read your letter, but whatever. It's the fucking the best, the fan bones. It's basically like Jordan said, she's on the phone. Sometimes the airline, she freaks out. She throws the phone. If you go to bone to pick, you give it to us and we, we help people who just have to do that. You get, you write us and you go, these motherfuckers, I don't know. Right. When something happens, I know the fucking bone that lady's face. And they did. And should we ask about interns? Should we ask about

we know we need interns. We need interns too. Yeah. Where do you shoot out of? Well right now? We have a studio we have we shoot out of how do you know that? So if people want to intern they know where to go. Oh just go to bone to pick G at gmail Was it it's a bone to pick at gmail.com and by the way, we don't go there Go to Paul's website. No, you know what we got us. I got a shout out Go to Paul's website. You know what? We got to shout out Ian because Ian- We're closing the same way we went in.

You come in the front door. Ian was one of the first, he was the first guest on our first live in New York City at the City Vineyard. And dude, it's out right now. It's doing great and it killed, dude. Oh, thanks, bro. Thank you for coming on, Ian. You fucking knocked it out of the park.

It was great. We were a little nervous. We hope people get it. You fucking, you jumped right in. You fucking knocked it out of the park. It was great. We were a little nervous. I got we hope people get it. You fucking you jumped right in. You got it was a blast. Thank you guys. And thanks for having us on in your basement and meeting your mom and Coyote. What's her name?

So you guys. Yeah, yeah. It's really fun. I got tased. Jordan, I tased myself. What would you like the people to check out? Punch up dot live slash Jordan Jensen. The Europe trip has been officially

moved to October. No. Yes. And when does this come out? Two weeks. What happened? I fuck with you with the book. Next week. Next week. That means that you guys are going to see me in Baltimore and Newark is sold out. But Baltimore, I think there's still some tickets for the 21st. Love you. Sorry. Wonderful. Ianfiedance.com for all my dates, tickets, and I will be at the Kansas City Funny Bone at the end of March. And then I'll be in Wiseguy, Salt Lake City, and Austin, Texas for Moon Tower. A bunch of stuff coming up, even finance.com.

Uh, make sure you get tickets to Philly. Let's fucking pack that out, sell that out and, uh, patreon.com slash beanie and pod. And we will see you next time. We love you. Bye. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what you say anymore.