Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Episode 040: Couch Wars W/ Rick Glassman & Jeremiah Watkins

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian

Being Ian Life is. When you're being Ian, being Ian. Life is shit, but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live a life. Being Ian, being Ian. With Jordan.

Who wants you? I just have to trust that this Welcome to another episode of Pianian with Jordan Hi Jordan I love you I don't love you Welcome to another episode of P&E with Jordan. Hi, Jordan. I love you. I don't love you.

Opposite day. That means we're not happy to have our guests. We have an East Coast couch and a West Coast couch. East Coast, West Coast. You guys could really do an improv over us right now. Let's see if we can do it. Go ahead. Well, let's introduce our guests first. Zip.

Zap. Let's get going. can do it. Well, let's introduce our guest first. Zip. Zap. Let's get going. Is this my camera? Yeah, the one that's not facing us. Rick Glassman. It's good to be black. I love the East Coast. Yeah.

Do you want me to get you more things? Yeah, if you could take off some of those extra patches on your jacket. This is two days in a row I've seen you with a full length clothing of the same color. I realize now what I'm wearing is exactly what I'm describing. No, it's not. No, you're wearing pajamas that you can wear outside. And I am on an outfit.

You look like you stole that from a Vietnam vet. Did I come here to get my balls busted, or did I come here to watch this guy spitting this guy's mouth? Hey, spitting this guy's mouth. All right, let's go to it. Spitting this guy's mouth. No, it's good to be back, man.

Oh, God. Oh, somebody wants seconds. I just don't understand why. It was like you magic bulleted it before you spit it. I don't know if you know how this works. That's another episode for another week. And he was leaving.

By the way, you're welcome to stay the whole time. I'm just saying, but this is a different transition. Maybe move over a little bit. Give him some room. They're going to have to reset and reestablish what that was, and I is a different transition. Maybe move over a little bit. Give him some room. They're going to have to reset and reestablish what that was. I think we get it. But I'm here to promote my

special daddy. Yes. Available now on YouTube. Just go to www.youtube.com and search in Jeremiah Daddy comedy special. Yes. One of the first ones to come up. Yeah.

It's just waiting for the day. Actually, that's exactly what you need to do. Jeremiah. Listen, my suggestion is and I've watched it. I'm going to admit it. This is make me sound like a fucking loser, but I've watched it probably eight times and loved it. What I suggest you do is go watch.

If you want to turn it off, you won't. Turn it off, but at least go. Give it a chance. Give it a little thumbs up. Leave a comment. Jeremiah has a little tiny fucking cock. This is how friends treat each other. And you'll have a good time. We support each other. Rick and I have known each other for years. The only thing I believe in is more than friends supporting friends. Never mind. This isn't going to sound stupid.

No, Rick, please say it. Say it at the same time. I don't want to make a joke out of it. No, no. This is serious quarter. The only thing I like more is women supporting women. And that's what we do on this couch. That's a friend couch. This is a man support women couch.

Well, women support women. I think women are so fucking important. Women are so fucking important. They're not important. They are. Says the one bitch with four mouths. Wow.

You said mouse. You know it's tough. With four mouths? Alright. So what's the theme of this? Ghostbusters and fucking wasted time? This is my favorite thing. You try doing it with me. Okay.

I am the in-fight dance. I'm a cool guy. Here, do it with me. Ready? Hey, everybody. I'm Jordan Jensen, well-known bull dyke. Do you know she's straight?

I thought you were going to say bull dog. I didn't take a 50-minute Uber Black for this. Jeremiah becomes a deaf person. You can't say that. You can't say that. He's like, I did not today. That was like a bad impression of Clinton. Not having sexual relations with that woman.

Now there's too many jokes. It's already hard enough to get my face. You can't look at each other with loving eyes every time you do a punchline. We don't. You turned him into a rhino What is that noise Do you like hip hop

Or beatbox And rocksteady We'll be right back We're back Teenage Ninja Turtles Did you call him a eunuch Did you say eunuch

Teenage eunuch He doesn't love it I do I don't think he does Believe me If I didn't You say eunuch? Teenage eunuch. Hey, bitch. I'm loving this bit. He doesn't love it. I do. I don't think he does. Believe me. If I didn't, you would know. I can do it.

Okay. Okay. So, I did Rick Glassman's podcast yesterday. And he taught me about boundaries. What was ironic was when you showed me outside Are these isolated tracks? We apologize for the mixing.

Are you mixing? Are you mixing? You know what's interesting? The talent. know you and i the talent doesn't appreciate how complicated you're making this oh what's that mr edit put in raindrops i was saying that hey john mar Marco my slave My person that I owned

Go back to the beginning of the episode We're going to start it from scratch Now This was fun I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I leave. I am sorry. I should have actually won my podcast. That was my mistake. So good at improv. Nice to meet you guys. He's over here. No. No. No. Get back.

Oh, fuck. I have to. I don't want to. That's too much. Are you going? Are you leaving, Jeremiah? No. Sit down.

Both of you sit down. You giant birds. Please. sit down. You giant birds. Sit down. You big birds. Take your damn perch. I'm going to come to the East Coast to do Wayne's World. Thank you.

No thank you. Don't scare my cat. It is true. He makes this guy edit way too much half the podcast was me being worried for his editor um i don't want them to leave no because they're gonna come in they're not gonna stay we just scared them off they're they're good because that'll be the funniest thing is if they don't come back We just scared them off. Because that'll be the funniest thing is if they don't come back. They have to not come back.

We just have to keep going. I think they're going to share an Uber. I think they're going to split an Uber to where they go, which is probably Manhattan because they make more money. Far away from here. I knew he wasn't going to stay when he saw the bathroom rugs. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it when he walked in and saw the rugs.

When he walked in and you were going, and he's a known germaphobe. And he goes, where do you guys sick? And I go, no, no. He just spit in everyone's mouth. And then you handed him a mug of water. I gave him a mug of water and he said no. Should I go see if he's here?

Yes, yes, yes. Please bring them back. Ethan, can you bring them back? Will you go up and see? I think I hear a giant man. Is there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he did.

Yeah. No, no, no. You left it on the couch. It's over here. No, no, it's over here. No, you need to get your balls busted. No, no, it's the East Coast. Come back. That's what we do on the East Coast. Come back.

We're ball... Everywhere's the cellar table. He's still... Jeremiah. No, come back. Come back. Come back. We're just here for nice stuff.

Edit. Edit. Edit, I'm coming back. Come back. We're just here for nice stuff. Edit. Edit. Edit. I'm coming back. Edit class. I'm coming back. Go get him. Tom will be nice.

Tom will be nice. He doesn't like that. It's fist bumps only. He doesn't like hand shakes? No. I hugged him. He doesn't like that. It's fist bumps only. He doesn't like handshakes? No. I hugged him. He doesn't like it. Do you think he really is offended?

He doesn't. No, no, no. It's a bit. Go, go, go. Get him. Tell him. I have money. Go get my money. I have money. Give him my knife back. Give him. I have money. Go get my money. I have money. Give him my knife back.

Give him a dollar. Yeah. Ethan. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. While that fucking queers on here. Oh, yeah. He's not going to come back if he sees you smoking.

No. I'm going to get one in. Oh, dude, that was amazing. I am sweating. Oh, my God. What? I don't think he liked that either. What did he do?

Because it cost me over $100 to get here. Where is he? Where is he? It needs to be more than that. Where is he? Maybe you he? Where is he? Maybe you need to go upstairs and make amends. All right. I'll hold down the fort.

Should we edit? Don't follow me, James. Yeah, James, not everything's content. Now watch me do the Dougie. Oh, my God. That's so fucking funny. Jesus Christ.

We really have fun. We really do. You know, most podcasts are about this or that. And this one's about... I don't even know what it's about. All I know is that my cigarette manure is missing cigarettes. All I know is that we got to scrounge around to buy that guy an Uber. Don't worry. We've got money in the account.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Patreon.com slash B&E and pod. Please. We need to get Glassman and Uber. Which we will. What? Is he? which we will what is he if you get him an uber black to his

show tonight he'll stay okay where's his show Connecticut back in LA tell him I'll give him 10,000 sky miles. I will buy him the Uber Black.

Okay. Because I'm still repenting for my sins of last night. Oh, stop. Why don't we use... We have the new debit card for the podcast. You can use that. Oh, what's that? Look at this. Okay, tell him to come down. Oh,

dude, that's amazing. Hey, tell him to come down. Oh, dude. That's amazing. Hey, tell him to come down. We'll get him an Uber Black. It's going to be an Uber White. I told him that we would. I told him we'd get him an Uber Black. Him and Jeremiah are just hanging out.

Is he upset? I don't think so. This is a fun bit. Until it's not. I think it's a bit. I don't know. Oh, oh shit this is a text from him this is not a bit oh fuck

oh shit well when it comes back down we just have to be really nice I don't know if the cigarette will help. Yeah, yeah, we got to cut the smoke. Cut the smokes. All right, Jordan, I just held down the fort. You have to put it out.

You hold down the fort, okay? I'll be back with Glassman. How did you hold down the fort? I'm going to lure him down here with money. Hey, come here, Jew. He didn't like the dollar one. Maybe if I clean up a little. The soy sauce.

Oh, God. I can never tell when people are doing bits. This is why I don't live in L.A. I don't understand how anybody... Put the Misfits sticker and soy sauce together. Put everything black with black. Just segregate the table. Okay. Okay. Okay. Put the the new ports stack them up yeah okay

he's a very important man okay oh oh good good good good we cleaned that up for you. Okay. We really apologize for making fun of how you abuse your editor, and we won't do that anymore. Oh, it wasn't specific. It was just the whole thing. The whole thing was just you guys were making fun of me and calling me a, I don't even want to say, I assume you guys edited it out, but the. Jew.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was talking to Jeremiah, not you, when I said that. But we're going to restart the pod. I'm sorry for the bird comments. We're New York guys. This is what New York guys do. Yeah, we bust balls.

We ate a lot of meat before coming down here. I got the guys to spit in my mouth. Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of B&E In with Jordan. We are so happy to have our esteemed guests here today. Jeremiah Watkins. Are you really making this the new beginning? A new hope, is it? A new, yeah, a new horizon, actually.

This is a new horizon. I was telling Jeremiah, Jeremiah? Yeah. Jeremiah upstairs that on my way over here, I was feeling pretty low energy, not in a negative way, but just in like I figured oh here would be a podcast where it doesn't have to be so bit heavy and then I got

so excited I saw Jeremiah and I remember you from You Did My Podcast and it's fun to have women around and I got excited optically it's funny because we wear glasses It's fun to have women around. And I got excited. It's funny.

Especially the nicest thing you can have ever said to me. So, and maybe Jeremiah and I were being a little sensitive. What do you think? Thinking back and reflecting a little bit. Right? Those are the same thing. I'm sorry. Thank you.

I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. They're rubbing off on you. He's got a case of the New Yorks. Yeah. When I was reminiscing about earlier and I was contemplating about before. Kind of the same thing. It could have come off a little bit like that.

We were the ones that were a little sensitive to their situation. So what do you mean? So you could have just said yes. What do you mean situation? You know, a weird looking guy and a weird looking chick. And a jean jacket. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying I'm into this East Coast bullying thing.

And here's another thing, you fucking piece of shit. I watched your special eight times because I needed something to come to. Yeah, hey, why don't you call me a ham war? Yeah, I'll call you one. You're a ham war. Oh, call me your hair more. I think you should call me a ham-war. I didn't get it, but I don't get any of your comedy.

But people seem to like it enough. You're laughing. Sounds like you're sick. Do you guys laugh like this all the time? Because it feels like I'm doing well, but I know I'm not doing it. No, you're doing great. It feels like, oh, here's a basement where I want to tape my special at. Yeah. But it's not.

I didn't earn it. It's a basement full of laughs. And Jeremiah, please return my comb. I don't know if I should return it, actually. Sounds like you're getting a little East Coast now. Get on over here. Get on over to the East Coast couch. How you doing, Jeremiah?

Oh, better than you, you bitch. Good job, good job, good job, good job. Cellar, cellar, cellar table. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Can I call a time out? What? Can I call a time out? So the game, we all know, is when you're on this couch, you're New York.

Yeah. And then you play in New York. And it seems like you're so unfamiliar with how cigarettes work that while you becoming a New York guy, do you know how cigarettes work? Yeah. Let me see you smoke one. Oh, God. I'm sorry.

This got so scared. You're back. You're back over to sensitive boy. Or should I say sensitive fucking buddy. Oh, I'm going to switch it up. Okay, go over there.

Now you're just Brooklyn instead of Jersey. Girl. Boo. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Excuse me. Boo! Oh, I'm Ian. Can I suck your dick?

I'm not gay. It's just what I like. I don't know how you guys do that. I got to be on the nice couch. Psych, you fucking ugly fucking bitch. Can I take this? Yeah. Sorry about that, bud.

You move over. Wait, so you're telling me stand up on the spot? Stand up on the spot is not material that you just do? Hey, man, your voice sounds so weird. Why don't you smoke another cigarette or something? Yeah. Go ahead. Here's a suggestion.

Get over it. Dude, I think you bomb almost every time. Maybe if we had headphones. Your timing isn't even bad. Every time I talk, I bomb. That's because I'm on the L.A. couch. Yeah, I don't know. It's just there's something about you that is likable,

but it still doesn't work. I like the improv couch. All right, move over. I got a girlfriend. You got to go back to that couch then. No, no, I'm just setting my boundaries. Oh, okay, all right. Boundaries are good. Have you ever sucked a guy with a dur to go back to that couch then. Have you ever... No, no, I'm just setting my boundaries. Oh, okay, right. Boundaries are good.

Have you ever sucked a guy with a durag's dick before? I have. I'm a girl and you seem like a cool guy. I really think this thing would work for you. I really, really do. Oh, my thing? What makes you think that the comb betwixt his pinky and his palm ever so gently? The energy of it. The energy of it. Do more. Do one of your jokes.

Your actual jokes in this energy. In this like kind of New York energy? Yeah. Well, the one you were doing. I don't know what that was. What do you mean? The more I'm on this couch, the more longer I'm turning New York over. Yeah, that one. Let me hear an actual joke. Okay, yeah. I have a handicap

during sex. Yeah, I can't 69. Ends up in the butthole every single time. You know what I mean? Wow, it's actually kind of better that way. What do you think about recording two specials? One, what about recording Daddy again, but this character? And this one could be called like Padre.

I'm sorry, man. It just doesn't work. I'll be L.A., Jordan. I would need to have a butt. There we Jordan. I would need to have a butt. There we go. I would need to have a big ass. If you moved to L.A., would you have a bigger ass? Yeah.

Keep doing what you're doing. Please, for God, move to L.A. Yeah, what do we got to do to ship around there? Hey, wait, no, come back. I don't need three of them. We're supposed to. Let's ship that bitch out. Can we all go on that couch for a second?

Hey, if I get up, I think you could all fit. What? Because your ass is so small. But I don't really know. It's really small. I don't care about a girl's butt. You know what I care about? What do you care about?

Thoughts. Yeah, I care about thoughts. Pussy. Everybody. It's good. It really is. You're doing really well. You're nailing it. That after a punchline?

Yeah. Trump arrested. Fuck you. It sucks what's going on in the world right now. I don't know if you guys ever talk serious stuff, and I don't have to now. Time. It's time. It just sucks what's happening right now.

That Trump's going to jail? Well, it's just the whole thing, how divided our fucking country is. Yeah. Like, we're all just living in this echo chamber. Big butts and no butts. You can make a joke out of it. Sorry.

It's fine. Yeah. I don't think it's... Don't do that to him. Don't do that to him. Well, you scared of the little lightning? How do I be more like? No. No. Wow. Don't do that to him. Well, you scared of the little lightning? No. Wow.

Look at him go. Look at him go. Give him the switchblade knife. Yeah. Protect yourself. Protect your family. I don't like this. Wow.

You look at that. Hey, sit on that couch. Keep it in. I want to be on the mean couch again. You go on the nice couch. No, I want to have my own couch. I want to have my own couch. It's nice.

I can feel it. All right. All right. All right. Your body's texting his publicist now. With his balls. I always said I wanted to publicist now. Oh, Jesus. With his balls. I always said I wanted to have a nice Down syndrome baby.

Oh, my God. Just to my very own self. I like it when your tongue sticks out like that, baby girl. It's nice. Well, I've got to give this to my ball sack. That's what I do to her. I take the back of her neck, and I make her tongue stick out like that, and I rub it against my ball sack.

She likes it. I like it. That's what makes a good relationship. This looks like two twins separated at the chromosome. Can I try one? Everything I say is bombing. Because you're on the LA couch. Do what you were just doing.

I want to say my observation. I take it by the scruff of the neck and I say, baby. It seems like she's a ventriloquist but doesn't know how to move the puppet's mouth. Yeah, because that guy's a dummy. Well, you want to sit on his couch? What are you trying to do?

Thank you. Who's busting balls? There's plastic in my jacket. What? Thank you. Rick. Who's busting balls? There's plastic in my jacket. Is that a push-up, bro? What you doing? It's a magic trick. I've got to get over here quick. Can you move over?

All right. So. That was a callback to what you did earlier. I have a different vibe than you. So. That was a callback to what you did earlier. I have a different vibe than you. Let's pretend this is your podcast and we're guests. Okay. All right. So happy to be here.

Welcome to Take Your Shoe Off. Um. Take your shoe off. Um. I think it was Ian on your podcast and you made him take his shoes off. I asked him to. You did? Yeah, I don't make people do things. You didn't take your shoes off?

No, they came off in that sterile environment they had to or else I would have soiled the place. Got me. Sorry. Burned me. Well me well burn me and my lady you know what's funny when i got into that uber oh you should listen she's gonna tell us something that's funny i got into the uber all women do you said you said you said uh jordan you need to set boundaries and he walked into oncoming traffic and stopped the traffic and i got into the uber because you were waiting like for cars to go by and we were at a crosswalk and we had just had a whole podcast about how i'm bad with boundaries so i take it out of families at airports and then i got into

the uber and the uber driver said to me he goes he goes hey can you get rid of that coffee and i said no really and he said he said what and i said i'm not gonna spill it and it's not very full and i'm not gonna get rid of it and he said he said okay and then he drove away and they said put your seat belt on and i said no and then i realized halfway through the drive that you had called the uber and that you were gonna get the bad rating also also that's not you setting boundaries you that's you not respecting his rude oh that's not and then boundaries. That's you not respecting his. He's rude. That's not me. And then I said,

hey, mister, I'm really sorry. And I put the seatbelt on and I finished the coffee and I said, coffee's done. So I corrected it. Why didn't you also say, by the way, my friend got me this Uber

and I hope you could at least consider that when rating him. I think I assumed that when he said Rick and I said no, but I'm here. So.

He was like no you're definitely Rick it did feel right when he said Rick but New York Jeremiah do you want to chime in I think my Uber is almost here this is not it does work

maybe try and switch into an Italian wife. It's like your body's from Bay Ridge, but your hand's from Chelsea. We all get that. Yeah, it's like you went to Kentucky University to play football, but you don't have enough ring on the ice to goaltend. That's a funny joke, and I get it. I don't get it either.

No, there's not. It's like you're sitting in a Kia, but you're really a Mustang. That makes sense, kind of. Yeah. What's going on? Yeah, it's like a vegetarian only eats eggs. Vegetarians eat eggs? Not only.

Don't call yourself a vegetarian. Just say, I only eat eggs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like a Klondike. Ooh, careful.

Just say lesbian. Just say lesbian with a big red nose. You said Klondike? Klondike! No, but we could say that, right? Yeah.

As a, as a Kl dyke. I feel like if you two jumped into each other, you would make one hell of a... One clown dyke. And if you had an open, you know, like a lot of alcohol, you could be a clown dyke bar.

Well, that goes back to what he was saying. A clown dyke bar. Perfect. Perfect. Full circle. Which I feel like is a redundant term. Because if it's not a full circle, it's not a circle. It's just a big smiley.

Yeah. I'm not going to commiserate with your ally. He looked at me like you were next to him. Have you ever thought about selling some of those forehead veins for merch?

We'll be right back. We've lost Jeremiah. He's lost in the bit Oh yeah Hey It turns out that Apparently that New York Jeremiah Doesn't know the difference

Between Brooklyn And the Flatiron building Peeing himself I like it more over there Is it me? I don't like feeling like crap All the time Oh welcome to New York I don't like feeling like crap all the time.

Welcome to New York. I'm catching it. Look at them supporting each other. Yeah. Begs. What's the difference? Is there really a difference between New York comics? Two gay men and two... Sorry.

Oh, my God. You should get something for that is there really a significant difference between LA and New York comics and if so could you explain? Yes you guys are hyper performative you have no fear of act outs and everything is a bit of a bit and has a flourish on the

end of it whereas New York comics are we are speaking rapidly you just described Ian's bit yeah and you're and I mean this in the worst way a fucking energy slop you're just literally getting spit in your mouth and i want to switch couches i got a little butt touch my fucking clit and we're over here being too broad i told you the woman with four moms four broads and even you. One who's broad, the woman with four moms, four broads.

And even her tattoos she thinks is broad. Come back to it. See, I could be edgy as long as I'm sitting on the end. You could be edgy, but I'd rather you be Rick. Well, this was fun, man. Seriously.

Why don't you describe the difference between New York and... I don't really know. I know that I feel different when I'm like podcasting with New York people than L.A. people. But could you pull up the poison another way? There's the difference. What's the difference? But I also don't know how much is it because they're in New York or is it because I know the L.A. people and I've known them for years. So it's just a different vibe.

Like I saw Jeremiah down here in this studio. This is a studio, yes. And it's like, oh, I know this guy. I know this energy. Is it because he's from LA? Is it because he's in New York? No, it's because I've known him for a while. Yeah. I would say New York comedy a little bit more a little less sarcastic. There's not as

much sarcasm. Is there more irony? We don't have the time for sarcasm. Yeah. What do you mean? Because it's so fast-paced? I fucked a pigeon. That's the joke. It's not a bad bit. I fucked the shit out of a pigeon. That's it.

And the special and the joke. And the closer credits. Here, I'll be in LA. I'll be an LA girl comic. That's a thing. Oh, that's a thing. That's a thing. Yes, yes, yes.

Very good. I think you're also referring to a lot of alt comedy in L.A. Yeah. I think that's what you put in that box. This is a lot of female comedy. Hello. That's how female comedy starts to me. No, that's Mrs. Doubtfire.

Hello. Hello. Hi. That's how female comics sound to me. No, that's Mrs. Doubtfire. Hello. Hello. Gloria Duffer. Nice to see you, dear. I like seeing you win. Oh, I can't do the boys. I used to be one. You're like, yeah,

LA comic show. Well, you're here and it's rubbing off and it's fun. Or more performative. And now you're doing Mrs. Doubtfire act-outs. All of us want to be performative, but we don't have sunlight, so it gets pulled out of us. I'm performative.

I'm. I said I'm performative. I like to perform. What, you've never sucked a dick before? I have seen you tell the audience three times in the last month that you will kill yourself on stage. It's not a performance. It's not a performance.

Isn't suicide the greatest facade of all? Oh my God. He looks like a wrestler from the 60s. Hey, Stacks Calhoun here. Whoa, save some for the rest of us. What are you doing over there? There's New York J over there. Come on.

J-Dub's in the city. Good God. Does that cow supply his own milk? That cigarette is a dollar. What are you doing with that handheld? Just sometimes you use it? Oh, that's just pics. There's no video? It's just two cameras down here? Oh, it's pictures.

Yeah, he got a video of the spit going right now. Yeah. That's a spit couch. Pardon. Here comes the comments of people complaining about me talking about production. But why not have a third one that has like all of us together? We did. But then we lost it. We had another man who was here.

But you can just put it on the sticks. Just have a third tripod. No, we need to buy it. We need the camera. Because the camera was someone. So the problem is you need another camera. We need more money. Well, check this out.

You guys have a Patreon? Yes. Just head on over to patreon.com slash. B and Ian pod. Look at the power he thinks he has. And why don't you do us a favor and sign up for a little bit and why don't you commit

to the fact that, listen, what do you need? 800 bucks? No. 6,000. Why do you have to get such great cameras?

Because we have great... All of this and what you guys are doing, you need those nice cameras? You're on the LA couch. Be nice. I am. I'm trying to be... Hey, LA. Sorry nice. I am. I'm trying to be.

Hey, L.A. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm trying to give you ideas that are actionable. Yeah. Like, just get an $800 camera. And you know what you could do? You could put a little red dot on the, I'm sorry, Native American, on the end of it. Oh, my God.

That's how we do it in New York. We fought it while people are talking about ideas ideas Did you get kicked in the head? Why are you talking that way? That's how we knew it all Hello everybody Today's episode is brought to you by Discipline We're all tired of that artwork At the fucking bigoted piece of shit Republican Hobby Lobby

With cliche sayings and a black and white sketch of the Eiffel Tower. Go fuck yourself. It's time to live, laugh, love your way into some better home decor. Displates are high quality metal prints that come in millions of cool designs like this. Hello, metal. Whoops. They're easy to hang and swap out anytime With this magnet that comes with every disc plate you purchase We had it, but we lost it That's why you gotta order it And make sure you don't lose it

They're easy to hang and swap out anytime With this magnet, I already read that We have a disc plate here And we use it We brought it on the road. Matter of fact, this is so cool. No, I'm not even lying. Whoa. Master of production. You get your own signature from the master of production. Can you believe it? We bring this on the road show so people know what we're about and that's cigarettes and fucking women. Uh, yeah, but you can order any type of disc plate you want With some cool stuff

Star Wars, Rick and Morty, Peaky Blinders Resident Evil Village, which is a weird thing you'd hang in your house Because it would scare you Click the link in my description to see some of my favorite disc plates And to get my special discount What's that discount? Get one or two disc plates at 27% Yeah, these percentages Get one or two Displates at 27. Yeah, these percentages.

Get one or two Displates at 27% off or 34% off when you buy three or more. The discounts will be automatically applied to your card. Use code SKA when you visit Displate.com to get the discount. Use code SKA when you visit Displate.com to get the discount. That's Displate.com code SKA. Click the link in our show notes. Give to yourself or someone you love unique art with Displate. What are some things you guys love? Mention them in the comments. Maybe, uh, ooh, what if you got like a dollar bill that's the Dis display? That'd be cool. You could say it's the money house. I don't know.

I'm really tired. I just got back off the road and just buy the fucking display. Use our promo code. Give us fucking money. Jesus fucking Christ. Get your 24, 37 and a half percent plus pie off discount when you use code sc Displate dot com. Goodbye.

The first time I think I ever, it may have been the second, but I think it was the first time I ever farted into a microphone was on your first, the first stand up on the spot I did for you in the improv lab, the old lab. Can we not talk about that show anymore? And I farted into the microphone and I couldn't stop laughing. Because you actually did it. Didn't you? Yeah. I don't know if you did. I don't have headphones on. No, no, no. I did it. Because you yeah did you i don't know if you didn't i don't have headphones no no i did it i know because yeah you did it on stage but when you

but it's when it's on stage and there's speakers it's really powerful amplify i did come on come on i fought it right on here he didn't he didn't throw his fart yeah because he's a girl. Come on, I got a pussy. Really jarring when you jump off. Well, you never wipe front to back, you bitch. Sorry, Rick. What? I think you're reading great.

You're supposed to wipe front to back. So you never wipe back to front It doesn't matter Of course I'm right My middle name is Gregory You've been Rick Wright Never gonna give you up

Never gonna What me? Here come the comments. Jeremiah should have left 20 minutes ago. Are comments now thoughts? I don't know. He did a thing. I'm sweating.

I'm sweating so much. Tell me what you're feeling right now. I'm sweating a lot. Take your shirt off. From you saying Oh What? It's a joke that already happened

Would you be offended if I comb my pubes right now? Oh, you have serious pubes Only if you do it front to back. I can snap and cut to them. Would you be offended? I wouldn't like you to not. Oh. Is that the L.A. in you talking?

Hey, wait. We did something. Wait, do you have L.A. in you? Nobody's about to. Hello. Come on. Come on. That's what they do in L okay come on dude dude you know

who's jeremiah broad i like how your insult is saying you broad even even your insults are broad i'm gonna tap dance at it you're're going to have to watch me. What, did you study abroad? I think it's that you're doing it right after. Wait, hold on. Move over for a minute. I want to try something. Move over for a second. A little more.

Thank you. Please, my back hurts. Are you Jewish? Shut up. please are you jewish i don't know you were jewish how's your elbow are you not jewish tell your face jeremiah jeremiah jay dog he's not gonna go back your is going to be upset with us. Why did you get the comb? I gave it to him an hour ago. Why?

I don't know. Okay. So, Rick, you have a special coming out called Critical Folly. I don't want to talk about my special right now, but I will want to come back on here when I'm ready to talk about it. Yeah. Wait, it's called Critical Folly? I thought that was here yeah it is we are not talking about yeah um she's committing to a bit that we did last my special is called critical

folly and she's pretending that's the name of hers so jesus oh wow oh the rest of my la just Where'd it go? Blowjob? Do people listen to this only? Because it won't make sense. They don't listen to it. They only watch. That's why you have cameras good enough to film Inception? Good to be back. I'm glad Jordan is the only wet one.

I'm glad Jordan is the only wet one in here I'm not wet I'm on Prozac I'm a dune buggy I'm dripping in sweat I'm a dune buggy you're being really funny it's a good promo for Sandy available now on youtube just go to

youtube.com search jeremiah um you both laugh like a car that won't start tobacco and the dead father sorry about your dad i am i'm not i need one full breath okay and we're back did somebody a fan make this of you that's me that's the end just changing my joke i had a good laugh Of you? That's me. That's Ian. Just changing my joke.

I had a good laugh and you changed it. Oh my God. You taking off more clothes? Jesus Christ. I might need to take some clothes off. I thought he was gone. What's your name again? Jordan.

Jordan. Jordan. How old is he? If you had to guess. He's not here. Give it a shot. If you had to guess He's not here Give it a shot If you had to guess 27 34

Between 27 and 33 Huh Wow I knew it I didn't Obviously He's really got the slap hog Looked to him

I never knew Hot More like Lenny From Of Mice and Men We know who Lenny was Oh sorry could have been lenny marcus it couldn't great uh exhibit of new york comedy incredible screaming about his wife yeah how she she how he wants to kill her with a gun i have a joke i have a joke that's that's that's i'll go that is uh do you want to hear it? Yes, please.

No. What were you going to say? I was going to say, the floor is yours. Thank you. You're welcome. Where I go, take my wife, for example. She is phenomenal. The little play on Lenny Bruce's Take My Wife, Please Take Her.

Was that Lenny Bruce? Oh, yes. Lenny Bruce, a man who never survived in contemporary comedy. Well, you say that, but he didn't live in it. He also didn't survive back then. He got arrested all the time. Magic Johnson couldn't play in today's game, but it was a different game back then. I'm just saying if there was a Lenny Bruce now, he would be taken down. No.

What? What are you talking about? Yeah. Because the only people that could hear you is everyone else. Oh, yeah. I said it was Louis. What it was Louis? And Jeremiah.

People who are pushing boundaries so hard that we have to be deplatformed and pushed onto Pilgrim. What's the platform called? Pumpers? I don't know, but I think we're going to be sick. What's the YouTube? Jeremiah, what boundaries are you pushing? What are you talking about?

What's the YouTube thing where we're going to get taken off of and have to go on? Rumble. Rumble comics. You heard of it? That should be the name of your special. Jordan Jensen. Rumble comic.

I just said rumble comic. That's making me think of Bumblebee Tuna, Bumblebee Tuna. Your balls are showing. What's that? Ace Ventura 2. Bumblebee, Bumblebee Tuna. Are you bad? I mean Ace Ventura.

Fuck you. Ace Ventura, yes. Suck these. When nature calls your mom. It was really sweet to hear in my ear, Ace Ventura 2. Is that what I normally sound like? Are they live or are you going over? He does it in edit.

You're going to do it later? I feel like I was on the LA show. Make sure you get all my fun little looks. What is that, a 92 Buick? It seems like a flat iron building. We need tricks. Push in? We need tricks.

They have a lot of tricks. I see it. What? And back. We'll be right back, folks. There? No, that wasn't a in. We need tricks. They have a lot of tricks. I see it. What? And back. We'll be right back, folks. There. No, that wasn't a trick. That was a.

That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a.

That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a.

That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a.

That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a.

That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a.

That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was I was doing it too. Yeah. It's because she went, uh-uh-uh.

I said, that's not a trick. That's a twitch. Right. Anyway. And you needed to get that out quick. Here's a joke that doesn't end with a punchline. We'll be right back, folks. There.

What? What? What? Jeremiah, if a New York comic was to talk about his wife, what would they say? What wife? What happened to your wife? Yeah, come on.

I think what my buddy Jeremiah meant was, I can't do voices. I think what he meant was, which wife? Yeah. They can't know about each other. Yeah. I meant the ones that cast spells.

Yeah. Hold up. Hogwarts. Man, I would love to be able to do voices. I meant the ones that cast spells Yeah Hogwarts Man I would love to be able to do voices I can't do it Hey I'm from New York what are you doing man Whoa that's so bad You sound like a Russian No fucking around You wanna hear something

Whoa full retard we went in there I apologize Hey that's my son. Does she tell that story on, are you retelling the that's my son story on the airport? Is that why you said that? No. Oh, what?

But that's funny. No, it's because I want a Down syndrome child. When I have a child, I would like them to have Down syndrome. Well, I think, I don't know. More about boundaries, Rick? I don't know you that well, but I do feel like I'd be a nurturing No, I just think that whatever

child you might have genetically it's going to have a lot of obstacles And physically because I'm going to build a cage and an obstacle course that's going to have to go through every day of his damn life. Thank you so much.

That is why I want to have children. I just want to push on their head every day and see if they stay short. Make sure you heal yourself before you're going to bring somebody into this world. Too late. Pregnant. It's yours. We'll be right back, folks. I didn't fuck her.

Yeah, I did. You guaranteed you were start a baby. Cut to him spitting in my mouth. And we're back. I have not said one funny thing on this podcast. It's not true. Yeah, because you're on the L.A. couch. Yeah, you're right.

That's how it feels. That's how they make you feel. You've been funny. You're right. I've been really funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've been really funny. Yeah, no. Hey, hey. Do you mind? No're right. I think I've been really funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've been really funny. Yeah, no, hey, hey, do you remember? No, yeah, I think you've been really funny.

Ian, look at me. You have been funny. What is that? What is that right there? Seriously, Ian, I think you're so funny. Oh, is that a it's like death coming out of us who's the funniest person um that you know thanks i would say the funniest person that i've ever met that you know that you're friends with that you have texted walter mitty white not a comic he's a stand-up bass player how could and

he's funnier than any other comedian that you know true i know you should get into comedy he should i've told him day after day but he's but he's too neurotic to get into it. Oh, really? Which is why he's so funny. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, a guy who walked in heard me vomiting and just immediately walked out. And refused water because it wasn't sealed off?

First of all, you're making the same point as me because I'm saying I am neurotic, so that's not a good excuse. Second of all, it's not that a water that wasn't sealed off. I am an erotic, so that's not a good excuse. Second of all, it's not that a water that wasn't sealed off. I walked into Chernobyl and you gave me a mug that looks like it held pens 10 minutes ago with some water and your hand was shaking. And you want me to drink from this trough? Yes. No.

Drink it from the cup. You handed me. You might as well have given me this. He did drink that earlier. Jeremiah was going to drink it. Oh, sorry. this. He did drink that earlier. Jeremiah was going to drink it. I didn't know you were going to drink it. I wouldn't have made that joke. It was in a different episode.

Don't worry about it. It was a different time. What's going on with that water over there that's sealed off? It's not sealed. It's open. The topo? You want a topo? What is that? Is that a bottle of bubbly water? Yeah. Mineral water? Yeah.

Yeah. Would you mind? A gay guy farted and we bubbled up little bubbles in there. A gay guy farted. Wait, thank you. If you're going to open it, will you not?

Will you let me do it? Yeah, could I get one too, please? I have a trick. Thank you. There's a trick. I know how to do it. Can I get one too please i have a trick you could um thank you there's a trick i know how to do i break your table yeah you asshole it's a trick i know how to break a table i know no no no no more no more trick No more trick. No more trick, Rick. I won't.

No, no, I'm not going to drink that if you touch it. I don't even want to drink it while I'm next to you. Hey, is this a twist off? Hey, Dutz, get your mouth on this thing over here. Here, use this. Use this. I'm not white. I'm not white. You're not white?

Like a white smoker guy? Where are you going? What the fuck is the matter with you? Sometimes when women laugh, they pee themselves. Let me... Will you throw me a proper bottle opener? It's attached to the fridge. That's a soy sauce. Do you want me to open it with this? proper bottle opener? It's attached to the fridge. Oh, here you go.

That's a soy sauce. Do you want me to open it with this? I can do it. No. Do his. Let me see how to do it, then I'll try. You're hiding everything. And it seems so hard. Oh! See? That was the messiest open.

Oh, really? Okay. Jesus, Rick! There you go. I kind of spilled some. This place is why I grew up to be so like the way I am, because I there are some people. Yes. What are you doing? what are you looking at this guy what's the matter with you i don't always drink bubbly water but when i do it's all right

i don't always drink bubbly water but when i do ian does a fucking terrible job opening it with his hands and spills all over his pants. It's called Topo Chico, but when he drinks it, it's called Bottom Chico. It's called Topo Chico, you bitch. I do stand up. I honestly think you're really funny. It's just that you're having an off night. Bottom Chico's funny. He's just Topo.

You're trying too hard because the LA guys are here. I want to impress our viewers. Go back to New York, ouch. They come up with puns before they come up with anything else. I'm a pun guy. Are you punning up? No, no, no. You're a scary guy.

You're spitting. And I also, like, no jokes. I don't like it. Why don't you go be on the New York couch for a little bit? Yeah. Get your vibe back. Yeah, come on, man. Come on over here.

We can call this episode how Ian got his vibe back. Okay. Come on. We can call this episode how Ian got his vibe back. Okay. All right. What's the story behind this? It's a ghost versus proton pack. I know what it is. What's the story behind it? Would you mind handing me my coffee, Rick? Thanks. Ian? Ready?

I hate this thing so much. I hate this thing you put Jeremiah into that I hate this thing so much don't do anything that fucks with me too much because I'll get competitive and hit you let's ask our guests how they feel about our foam cutouts I hate it that's cool

oh my god Jeremiah Jeremiah let me tase him earlier He don't do that stuff around me He got tased You wanna get tased? I don't want him opening my bottle of water We didn't even acknowledge that That you got tased

You're the second guest only to get tased. Yeah, and then the bitch will do it again. No, if you shit on my mic. The way you get the thousand mile stare. It's jarring. The veins in your forehead lead down to your eyes that lose irises and just become black holes. Too many words. It was wordy.

I mean, you were laughing through it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. How expensive was that Uber to get to that punchline? I felt it. I felt it. I felt the dirty words.

You were wearing your jacket at the couch. The funniest part was your veins that traveled from the top of your head down to the bridge of your nose while you were i feel like i'm living on the edge i don't like this of the couch and i'm happy there i don't

like this also i'm really worried about jeremiah ultima Altima? Ian does impressions. All of cars that won't start. All you gotta do is fart into a microphone or say something kind of funny. Me and Ian have a laughing problem and you guys are abusing it. Why are you sitting differently since I farted?

You know what? I feel like people should come on this podcast before going on podcast runs to up their confidence. Did you shit? What is that? Bumblebee car? Bumblebee car? That really smells.

I couldn't think of a fucking car. That is olfactorily speaking. No, you thought it was rapidly, actually, but it didn't make any sense. It came out really quick, naturally. Wow. Ian, he hasn't relaxed back into the couch. I think he might have just been.

That one sounded like a hard. His weight has not gone back down. Okay. No, he won't like that. Oh, okay. I thought it was a taser. I love cats. Me too.

Who doesn't like pussy? Nice. I hate cats. You know, just that you have such a strong point of view about something that there's so many different versions of, just goes to show how special you are. I love cats. Look. Just got that today.

Oh, nice. Oh, you got it filled in. Oh, that looks great, dude. That's hot. Oh! That's payback. Oh, you got me good, motherfucker.

Respect. Was it tase or burn? It was burn, but... Did you burn Jeremiah one place? Oh, no. Come on, do it. Just do it. Get it out of the way.

Just get it. Just one quick one. Yeah, just do it. Oh. I'm sorry. I'll do it to me. Oh, Rick, you're up. Honestly, I would not like it. I wouldn't do it to you. Is there a window? Oh, Rick, you're us. Honestly, I would not like it.

I wouldn't do it to you. Is there a window? No, it's a ghost. Are you mad at me? No. Oh, okay. No, I'm having a really good time. Okay.

I'd love to do this once every other year. Oh, you're a bit... Catty. See, I can pawn it off. No, it doesn't. I get it, because you're a fan of Ghostbusters, and Harold Ramis directed Caddyshack. And I was in A Futile and Stupid Gesture playing Harold Ramis.

See? That's the joke, right? It's layered, yes. Yeah, New York has a lot of layered jokes. I'm literally an award-winning dramatic actor. Yeah. What are you? Yeah. Flip that, send send it to me I'll use it in something I have an idea Did you just open a vault?

Or did you lock it? I got worms Now he's on the New York couch I got worms in my fucking ace That's good Oh shit Which we like to just call Ian and Jordan do America. Hey, you know what?

Part two. Can I have the taser? To myself. That one got me really good. I don't want you to do that. I'm not going to do that to you. Do you think I would do that to you? I'm going to do it to myself to show you that it's painless so that you can do it to yourself.

Because I think while I need boundaries, you need to branch out. Before you do it, you I'm gonna do it to myself to show you that it's painless so that you can do it to yourself because I think while I need boundaries you need to branch out before you do it may I offer something yeah I think you're already so hard on yourself that you're validating these things by continuing to do it for entertainment I think you should not do that yeah shut up enjoy yourself and enjoy what's going on without feeling the need to introduce pain I think you're scared to do it so you don't want to do it to myself so that I put pressure on you to do it. I'm not going to feel any pressure. No pressure if I do it to myself? Rick's not doing it. You don't know Rick.

Of course I'm not doing it, and I don't want you to do it. I like that you care about me. Yeah. And I want you to care about you. I also want you to help me get my star rating back up. Oh, yeah. How do I do that? By letting me get you tons of Ubers and just being super sweet.

Oh, I thought you meant on IMDb. Can do, buddy. Can do. Or should I say... Ian, I thought you were over on the New York couch. That's crazy. There's nothing like just four friends in a basement. Right?

Jeremiah, come back podcasting oh that one's gonna be bad news for all of us please please I didn't I didn't I stopped it because it was gonna be a bad I think I'm getting a headache I think that means we gotta wrap it up I think we might have to wrap it up

we might have to wrap it up I was just gonna make a condom joke You really were like a Trojan Oh Okay Thank you so much for watching Being Ian with Jordan Are you a jazz musician?

How long have we done? Jordan Are you a jazz musician? How long have we done? Yeah, that's great. We can do more. Let's do a little more. Then you're going to have to trim some of the stuff that Jeremiah set out. Hit him, New York J. Hey. Oh, no.

He's entitled to his opinion. If I didn't have to pee I wouldn't come on alright let's wrap it up Rick what do you got to talk why'd you go to the bathroom Jordan has a perfectly good mouth right there I'm right here

I'm not in the bathroom Oh god where did she get here? Do you want to interview me? I thought you were using the toilet I saw the toilet in there Do you guys want to interview me about I don't know how much you know my comedy But there's a lot of craft to what I do

And it's really unique What here we go what's in like a rick glassman set what goes into it what's a recipe for a good rick glassman night out what do you mean what do you ask a little dash of this a little dash of that what makes a if you were a drink what would would make a Rick Glassman? This isn't BuzzFeed. I just took your words. Maybe this is Beep.

Boop. Oh, boy. My wife was so ashamed of me. Watching me from the green room. And I realized she told me not to behave the way I am. And when I see her, I'm going to try and not make it seem

like such an obvious energy change, but go back to a better energy. Okay, so here's how that goes. Beep, boop, bop, bop, bop. This is really fun. You guys really made me want to fart and laugh a little. But I also think that like it is interesting

like the the difference between new york and los angeles what you guys are saying yeah and that is what um oh what were you gonna say no it's okay no no you you should tell them tell them what you think honey what you think honey why would she you think. Honey, why would she? I'm not. I'm your wife. Oh, you don't get the game, do you? Oh, is he your wife?

Yeah. She does not know what improv is. Well, that's New York for you. No, but really. Hold on. Hold on. I think she might have to improve her improv. Dude, that's.

Where was that at the beginning that's not acceptable for you to reward that behavior rickless well i didn't know what it extended to but it had to extend somewhere what's the what's like the the biggest Yeah, like whatever the highest viewed episode is. What guest was it? Unacceptable question. All right. What else can I ask you? How would you like to control your guests moving forward?

Oh, you already figured it out. What else could I ask? How about we ask the questions? Will Jeremiah ever snap out of this? Ask a question. Sure, I'd love to. But who's the biggest number?

Rick Asman. Nice. See, that was good. New York. Have you met any people that you've had on the podcast? Jeremiah? No, no, no, no, no. Whatever you got in the chamber, do not release it. I know you got the gun loaded, but unload

the bullets. Put the safety on. Take the clip out and put the gun back in the safe. I see you prepping for it. I know something's cooking. Ian is very observational. Jeremiah goes like this.

No, I noticed something. I noticed a little shift in your posture. I could tell you were going to do something. He goes, I'm going to fart. I have a third sense for this kind of stuff. He starts mounting Ian. Hey, wait a second. Jeremiah's pants are down.

He's got poop coming out. It seems like he might be doing something dirty. Jeremiah. Oh, no. Closing thoughts? J-Dog. I'm J-Dog. I appreciate Rick having me on his podcast today.

And I'll see you back in L.A. Yeah. Good. Good, good good good good don't don't i never so rich have you added a well first. What? She just missed out. I can't even begin to think in those words. You have some obsession with bees. You said bee car.

Yeah, but you're talking about bee gin. I didn't say anything. What is that? Just like a little gin with a little honey? What are you doing with your face? What are you doing? What's going on? B's sit up straight we're ending the podcast rick you guys are not going to do any more podcasts thanks for having us

you guys aren't gonna do any more podcasts because of how this went? How often do you have four people on here? We're not doing podcasts. Not often enough. I have a show at 930. Oh, God. Where? The Ned Hotel. Yeah, no, I'm just saying, like, I'm staying in Jersey.

Yes, congrats. Thank you. So I could go back to Jersey and then go back to Manhattan, which I'll be passing. Or if I leave in a little bit, yeah, I could still. I was going to say, we could do some extended bonus content for Patreon to help you get your cameras. Oh. But I don't want to do that. Is that just Ian's breath?

All right. Yeah. Let's do bonus Patreon content. No, no, no, no. Rapid fire questions. This has to be out there. This has to be out there. I'm coming all the way over here.

I want everyone to be able to see it. Just go to the Patreon. Look at some of the other stuff. You're a sweetie. But everything here. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't care what everyone says about you. You're all right in my book.

Wait a minute. Other people say things about me? Dad? Jesus Christ. How long have you been doing comedy? 50 years? Stopped 49 ago jeremiah is coming back he's coming back that's my boy ricky g over there all right that's the episode thank you guys for for coming. What do you got? You want to plug anything?

When does this come out? Three months? Truly. I was calling you three months. And Jeremiah, you got anything? What the fuck? I don't know, but it seems racist. Oh, he's about to do Trump. Yep. Do you have an impression of Trump riding a zebra for the second time?

Wow, there's a lot of black on this. I would appreciate it if there was less black Not Bill Cosby, Trump. I blew out my voice earlier, spitting in a whore's mouth. It was me. I was laughing too hard, and I spit,

I came from the bowels of the depths of my body. Okay. That was a good body, and okay. Okay. Man. That was great. Jeremiah, have you ever thought about starting your own Saturday Night Live? Yeah.

What would you call it? You just put on YouTube Premiere every Saturday night. Just do a live show. Just do impressions. Let people come out and do impressions. And literally call it Saturday Night Live. If they have a problem with it, great do a live show. Just do impressions. Let people come on and do impressions. And literally call it Saturday Night Live. If they have a problem with it, great press. Great buzz.

Right? Why aren't you doing that? Why aren't you doing Saturday Night Live? No Saturday Night Live with Jeremiah Watkins. Saturday Night Live. Every Saturday night, you go opposite on the East Coast feed. So it's not too late because you have a family. On the East Coast feed.

When they're doing it, you could watch SNL, the dated one, or you could watch the new, cool Saturday Night Live that's on YouTube. Saturday Night Live. Uh-huh. What do you think? He threw up at the bottom.

You could do monologues? Oh, you hear about this? Yeah. What's up here? I'm going to look up some news and I'm going to do a monologue. I'm really good at monologues. Jeremiah, are you good at impressions? You just killed Trump. Besides that? You got more? Yeah. Who else can you do? Well, you'll find out

in the Patreon episode that's starting right now. No, no, no. You can't do that. Oh, okay. Alright. I'm going to look up some news and I'm going to do some monologues. I was supposed to leave 40 minutes ago for a show Oh yeah the show started 41 minutes ago What show Good night everybody

See you buddy Love ya Bye Jeremiah Love you buddy Thank you Wow This has been a good workout I'm sweating

Let's hear it Seth Rollins kisses young fan at ringside After WWE Raw Seth Rollins has played the role of a baby face And a heel of a WWE television I'll put my babies all over his face, you know what I mean? Love it. Let's do another one. I bet they're gonna do it raw.

Lynch yourself. Wow, Lynch. Lynch is a harsh word to say. I mean, I guess if, unless you're talking about Jane. Yeah. Jane Lynch. Austin? She's great. Jane Austin. about Jane. Yeah. Jane Austen. She's great.

Jane Austen. No, Jane Lynch. Oh, sorry. I do like Jane Austen. Pride and Prejudice is probably my favorite both book and film. It's a great book and a great film. It's so good. Do you really like them?

And Sex and the City. But you're not down with burgers, so I'm not down with you. Do you watch Sex and the City? Of course. No. Did you just fall from something? Are you doing a Tom Segura impression? I'm sitting. What's the matter with you? A bad Italian impression.

What's the matter with you? I'm sitting over here. Alright. Could you make the background noise a little louder? Thanks guys. This was good. When does this come out? I don't know.

Your episode comes out. Will that be able to pick it up? Do we have a room mic? What are we doing here? Is anybody listening? Do horses wear shoes? The camera's not even on. Are the cameras on? Yeah, you see how you notice things if you notice it for the first time

and the next time you see it, you see it again. So you can see something else. What do you guys think? That's great. Who is one of your bigger numbered episodes? Glick. Glass. Glass.

Glick. Glass. You guys don't want to even say it. Is there something weird about you? Who do you want to know? I just want to know. Who do you want it to be be you want to know if this is a good podcast it is growing every day i'm just curious for people who are watching if there's like a big one then they could hear like oh i didn't know they had such and such on the podcast that might get them to watch another episode now i'm just trying to be like okay yeah we don't need that. Thank you. You have two cameras.

Well, we had three, but we'll get another when you join Patreon.com. Someone who drives Uber, right? Driving his car, loses a tire. Somebody comes over and offers to help. They go, we don't need it. You have three tires. Well, we used to have four. But you don't right now. You're right. You guys are fucking failing.

No, we're not failing Yeah I take umbrage with that I resonate I don't know what that means Yeah you wouldn't you ignorant swine What's ignorant is not being able to ask questions And an unwillingness to learn I think our best

Was like 250,000 No what does umbrage mean Umbrage is A combo of Umbrella and bridge was like 250,000. No, what does Umbridge mean? Umbridge is a combo of umbrella and bridge. I thought you were stalling before you told me where to cross to get into the city. What?

Bridge? Oh. I think that was too many words like you scolded me for earlier. I'm pretty sure it might have been too many words. Did you think it was funny? Did you think it was too many words like you scolded me for earlier. I'm pretty sure it might have been different. Did you think it was funny? Did you think it was funny? Ian, we're not friends.

Did you think it was funny? I didn't. I did. Man, East Coast comics are so much more down to earth. We are. That's the Take Your Shoes Off podcast. You can follow me on Instagram at Rick Glassman.

We had Ian on once. You can miss that one. This girl was on. I don't know. I'm sure it's fine. I was funny. And thank you for having me. Make sure to check out Jeremiah Watkins' special Daddy. Just go to YouTube.com. Search Daddy Jeremiah. No one knows how to spell Jeremiah. We always look it up whenever we type it. So just type out Jeremiah Watkins special Daddy just go to youtube.com search Daddy Jeremiah no one knows how to spell Jeremiah we always look it up whenever we type it

so just type in Daddy Watkins W-A-T-K-I-N-S comedy special and again that's the Take Your Shoes Off podcast thank you both so much for having me I'm sorry you guys only have two cameras it sucks it sucks but you're getting some stills

see you next time. Bye-bye. For all the times you stood by me. For all the truths that you'd never see. For all the wrongs that you didn't live. For all the wrongs that you made right. You gave me the reason we make it through. And I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had I've had

I've had I've had I've had I've had to the party like my name is Ellie I'm hanging out drinking in the back of an El Camino bye bye fuck thanks for having me guys that was real fun

sorry about all the jokes Handle it.