Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Episode 044 : The Wolf & Dead Tiger W/ Greg Stone and The Wolf

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian

Being Ian And life is. When you're being Ian, being Ian. Life is shit, but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live a life. Being Ian, being Ian. With Jordan. With Jordan.

Do you guys have catchphrases on this thing? We're going to make some. Oh, good. Higher. Yeah! Shana Tova! Wow, four o'clock exactly. Another episode of B&E with Jordan.

Thank you for tuning in. I am so excited, but a little depressed because we tried to play Korn blind. But now you're going to do it with your mouse. Go, you do tuning in. I am so excited, but a little depressed because we tried to play Korn blind. But now you're going to do it with your mouse. Go. You do the guitar. When's the song coming? Are you ready?

Yeah. This was a life-changing album. Yes. It was a life-changing album. Yes. And you're a life-changing man because you make everyone's lives better when you enter them. Greg Stone.

Thanks for having me. I want to say Ian. Come on. We have good times. Just watched you in the Sh shoe shiners oh yeah so good what's your amazing i was laughing and laughing with joe list oh yeah yeah we just did a sketch i play the same character every time oh i gotta watch some crazy it's a good funny what was the thing that you did there was one moment where i was losing my mind a lot of good stuff hit the

editing floor i will say my brother the wolf joe floor, I will say. My brother, the wolf, Joe, sorry. I don't know. I just love my brother. Yes, Joe Wolf! He's the only one that calls me Joe. I got a wolf. Joey. I have one.

Many wolves. Everybody calls you the wolf? He calls me the wolf. My nephews call me the wolf. Oh, who calls you Joe? Just my brother calls me Joe. My sister calls me Joe. Everyone else calls me Joey or the wolf,

but Joey's fine. Joey Wolf. Joey. Joey Southside. Why do they call you the wolf? Do you want the story on the wolf? We need the story on the wolf. We had an album and we had a song called The Wolf and we were in

Vienna. The kid was interviewing me. He was like going on and on. He's like, you know, in hardcore and it's not really about the rock star thing and this, that, the other stuff do you get a lot of stuff for uh writing a song about yourself and naming a song after yourself and the accent was heavy so i was like i'm sorry buddy i don't know what the fuck you're talking about and he goes the wolf when you wrote the song the wolf and i was like because i looked at my guitar player buzz and he's like i'm not calling you the wolf i go it's been done because that's the rule it has to happen organically you can't give yourself the name

and it was like so as a joke we did it but then i would go home and as a joke i'd say the wolf because i thought it was funny and then people be like i'm not calling you the wolf and then i got offended why the fuck aren't you gonna call me the fucking wolf i'm the goddamn wolf yeah i said if you say i'm not the wolf you get two more weeks of the wolf. And people just didn't get it. Now I've been saddled with that bullshit for a long fucking time. That's amazing. Can I tell you from a brother's perspective?

Yes. That he was Joe my whole life. And then Joey. But, you know, whatever. And then one day we come home for Christmas. And my sister's family, he goes, I'm like, hey. He's like, they're like, hey, Wolfie. They've already just gone full in. Usually when someone shows up and they're like, yeah, I'm the wolf now. You go like, they're like, hey, Wolfie. They start. They've already just gone full in.

Usually when someone shows up and they're like, yeah, I'm the wolf. Now you go, fuck you. You ain't the fucking wolf. You're Joe. But they just took it. And now we're like, all right, here's the fucking wolf. And he just became the one. I had to just it was overnight.

I'm like, well, now my brother is just an animal. Okay. Wow. I kept trying to push names for myself. I'm like, what? I'm the tiger. I'm the dead tiger. Go.

Doesn't go. Dead tiger? Yeah, dead tiger. Why dead tiger? Because they're heavy. Because they're heavy and they're colorful. But they're still heavy and colorful alive. That's a good point.

That's why it didn't take, I think. Dead tiger? That's why. I mean, I just made that up. Your new name is Alive Tiger Stone. Oh, Alive Tiger. Well, you were a sauce for a while. What's your last name?

Coraluzzo. Coraluzzo. That's what it is. Yeah. Which means heart of the lion. You're a lion. He's the wolf and you're the lion. It doesn't mean heart of the lion.

I made that up. It doesn't? My dad told us that once. He told us a lot of shit. Dad said Coraluzzo means heart of the lion. And then some Italian was like, no, it means dead tiger. Oh, really? Really?

Oh, God damn it. I'm juicing. I'm jacking. I'm jacking off. My last name, Cosentini, one of my last names, means little cheese. Really? Yeah. No way.

I nailed it. That's so cute. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little cheese because you guys like to keep it brief. And I always have cheese in my mouth. Green. Sorry, when it comes to cheese buns, I'm a bit of a monster. You have good times. Patreon.com

slash B&E and Pod. Join and give us some cheddar. Oh my God, there's no holes in that pod because it ain't Swiss cheese. Look, it's been a lot. I'll leave it for a while. I can't.

Shit. What's going on? You're not supposed to. It's actually fucking impressive. Rattling them goes off. No, I was rattling them off. They were coming out of my head. Sorry, I'm a bit crazy. I'm a bit of a Gorgonzola brain.

All right, see? Fed up. Fed up. You're fed up. I'm fed up with it. Sorry, sorry i almost got there you just said a cheese at me and then thought of the pun you went fed up panicked and thought of the pun hey i'll never apologize you know why because i'm an american all right listen let's talk to these guys my craft. Quit boring him off. I said shredded. I said shredded. Is this a taser?

Yeah. We all tase ourselves. This podcast is fun, but she keeps borsing you around. Oh! Borsing? Let's all come up with nicknames. Wolf, dead tiger, boar's head.

We have a good time. Yeah. Now, Joey, tase yourself, please. Okay. Is that real? Okay. Can I tase myself? No, don't.

Put it away from the microphone. We'll do it. We'll do it. You kill my brother on the podcast? Ow! Fuck you, whore! And I'll do it. Yeah, you do it and I'll do it.

Okay. One of you is going and I'll do it. Okay. One of you is going to hit the microphone and everything is going to sizzle. Brothers in hardcore! Oh! Really? Oh, it went up my nuts. Now I got to do it.

It's fun. I do it on the fact that it's good. How do you push the... Ow! You liar! That hurt so bad. That tiger tells lies. Kill the tiger. I'll do it again on my face

Oh my god that was crazy Oh no That's how they killed Max Shrek Do it Do they kill Shrek that way I'm scared Good job Oh now I love it

Everybody loves it who does it Vecchione Vecchione did it a bunch Oh, now I love it. It makes you feel good. Everybody loves it who does it. Vecchione. Vecchione did it a bunch. Fucking Vecchione did it. I start sizzling. Yeah, yeah, do it, Wolf. Wolf.

I have fear. I'm a coward. I'm a coward. Yeah. Can I do you? I just did. Remember that time? No, you don't.

You don't. That's a big brother shit right there. That was like, I realized what I was sitting next to. This is the guy who put me in a fucking hamper and kicked me. He was, want to play Star Wars? Get in the camera.

Put me in a hamper and kick the hamper down the stairs. He loved that shit. That's R2-D2. I mean, R2-D2. I used to play that too in the hamper. Listen,

first of all, he tells the story wrong. What you do is you empty the dirty clothes at the bottom of the stairs so you get, it doesn't just land. It was do is you empty the dirty clothes at the bottom of the stairs so you get... It was three socks! It was three socks! Three socks down!

Three socks down! Give me the bat. I need to defend myself. I always have to use the bat. I need to defend myself. You don't know what you've given him. I'm coming back now. I'm going to die. This is the end of me. I'm coming back now. Yes. Oh, God. It always comes down to the back. I'm going to die.

This is the end of me. I have a son now. I have a son who took your name. I will raise them. Don't worry. I'll make sure. I'll raise them as my own. My eyes are going to pop out of my head. What?

Your son's name is Joe? Secretly. What? What? No, that's not true. His name is Calvin. Calvin. Why'd you say he took your name?

Calvin Henry. He sounds like a Southern. He sounds like an old. This is my son.. His name is Calvin. Calvin. Calvin Henry. He sounds like a southern... He sounds like an old... This is my son. You son of a bitch. Did you name him after Calvin? Yeah, right? Like representative from Mississippi. I am Calvin Henry. I believe we need to get rid of segregation.

The senator from South Carolina. Calvin Henry. Harold Henry. And then you know what? Our sister's son is Lincoln James. They sound like

black heavyweight boxers. Calvin Henry and Lincoln James. I would watch that fight. They sound like people on coins. This should not have happened. This is bringing me much fun. Put it down at least for five minutes. Let me at least get to plugging my Patreon.

I heard of the heavy hand of Calvin Henry. His hand hit like the thunder coming from the sky. He sounds like he invented the cotton gin. Now, officer, I do not abide, but I do imbibe

Mr. Calvin Henry. None of what you just said makes sense. I don't abide by the law, but I imbibe in alcohol. I don't imbibe by the law, but I imbibe in alcohol. Isn't it called imbibe? You're just rhyming things. Imbibe. Imbibe.

Yeah. Can I see it? Small vocabulary because of tiny brain. Because of tiny brain and it's mostly neck. I said, I said, I told Pete. I told Pete I can't work today. I had a dream that I got plastic surgery and to get a new face. We wish.

Patreon.com slash Pete. That was mean. Did you vomit on him? Here, taste him. Oh, yeah. Let's taste him. He just spit on me. Like a cobra.

You're the cobra. Or the Dilophosaurus. The cobra. Or Dilophosaurus. Oh, yeah. I spit everywhere. Wow. You're the cobra and I'm the Ike Turner.

Hey. Shock him, Jordan. Shock him, Jay. We don't hit girls. Double J. Shock him, Double J. That was solid. Get him, Cobra.

She spit on me and you got what you got. Liz, Liz. Imbibe that bitch. Get the wire. All you got to do is get the wire. Get him from the top. No, no, because that'll start a fire. That'll start a fire.

Yeah, this wood panel will go up like tinder. A spark, even if we were higher. We are just dancing in the dark. And I can't start a fire. Take the taser away from her. She's mentally ill. Don't give it back to him, please. Thank you.

No, do not. Why did you give it back to him? Do you know how hard it is to improvise under fear of incendiary-ness? What? You just are naming it off the wall. I just read it off the wall. If you, Jase,

will you make me blind? Porn? Don't do that. This is some kind of Operation Ivy. I need to get out of here. Anyway. You're going to,

I'm going to run the light. Put it back for continuity. Incendiary does mean fire or something, I think. What? It does mean to catch fire.

Yes. Yeah. Incinerate. I have or something, I think. What? It does mean to catch fire. Yes. Yeah. Incinerate. I have the potential to incend. How are they paired? There is spit on the couch and now it's on my hand. Listen, this kind of couch in this color needs to have a certain level of saliva in it at all times. It's true. Among other things. Saliva. Good band.

Click, click, boom. Boom. I had that on a music video with Sum 41's Fat Lip and Flavor of the Week. Three videos watching them over and over. Did you guys have the box? Huh? Music videos you control?

We got the box right here. We call that a stinky inky. I one time put them on the glass. It's called the little cheese, bitch. Sir Mix-a-lot. Put them on the glass. I ordered it 16 times in a row. Wait, what do you mean put it on the glass? Put them on the glass. It's called a little cheese, bitch. Sir Mix-a-Lot. Put them on the glass. I ordered it 16 times in a row. I wish I hadn't said that. Wait, what do you mean

put it on the glass? Put them on the glass. It's a Sir Mix-a-Lot video which was the sexiest video I've ever seen. I ordered it six times in a row as a child. You don't remember

put them on the glass? Really? About pressing your tits against glass? It's just Sir Mix-a-Lot shoving tits on the glass. This was the 90s when music was at its peak.

I used to jerk off to the thong song by Sisqó. Got two, brother. Do you remember this girl who said, I like the way you ride it? Remember that girl? I like the way you work it? No, ride it.

This is not the music I thought we were going to get into. And she was fucking grind. It was crazy. I don't remember that one. Well, you weren't into that. What was her name? Sienna? Sierra?

Sierra. Oh, I also used to download Akineli, put it in your mouth on Kazaa, and then just jerk off to the lyrics. Wow. Yeah, I definitely jerked off to some lyrics. What was it? It was like, put it in your mouth,

you motherfucking mouth. And I was like, oh yeah. Mine was Immortal Technique where he rapes his mom. I am a gentleman. Wait, what? What? Remember Immortal Technique? Yeah, of course. He's like, I fucking raped a bitch and then I took off the mask and it was my mommy or

whatever. Whoa, that's a fun twist. We played with a mortal technique. Crazy twist. You what? We played with a mortal technique at Montclair State. That's crazy. Look how he's holding the mic versus how he's holding the mic.

Hardcore kid. Dick sucker. Come here. I like to put it in my mouth. I like to suck the electricity out of this thing. And I hold the mic like this. Dick sucker. Oh, boy.

We have fun. How was that? You were in a hardcore band playing with Immortal Technique. It was a college show's work. They get a huge budget of money every year. How was that? You were in a hardcore band playing with Immortal Technique. How did that happen? It was a college, like, you know how college shows work? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They get a huge budget of money every year. It's on a terrible amount. And then someone, they put on shows for the kids. So, like, we were, I mean, we were the most popular we were as a hardcore band,

but not, like, popular to this. But someone at the radio station was, we like Immortal Technique and we like the banner. Let's pay them both the same amount of money. And five people will be there. They gave us 10 grand to play like Immortal Technique and we like the banner. Let's pay them both the same amount of money. And five people will be there. They gave us ten grand to play with Immortal Technique. Amazing. And then we sold merch. Amazing.

Nice. Yeah, I was like, okay. Yes. And I was like, you know this is too much money. And they're like, yeah, man, they just give it to us. Oh, that's unreal. I've never done a college gig. Have you? Yeah, but never the good ones. Always the ones like, we're giving you $50 and you're in the cafeteria. Hey, it's noon and everyone's playing the ones like, we're giving you $50 and you're in the cafeteria.

It's noon and everyone's playing Xbox. I'm going to make you stop because I'm going to force you to laugh and then it's me on the table. I really want to perform at a jail. Oh yeah, like Johnny Cash. Dave Hill used to do those jail shows. Oh, and Jeffrey Joseph at Rikers.

John Jeffrey, Jim McG'Connor, Joseph. Someone just did too. Was it? Not Nate Borghese. That doesn't make sense. Sing Sing? Someone just performed in a prison. Who the fuck was it? Ah, it doesn't matter. Jeff Ross? Yes, it was Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross did a roast in prison and then later it indicted a man

because in the roasting they figured out he murdered a guy that he wasn't charged for. No way. Now that's the only crowd work clips I want to see. How did that happen? I want to see that documentary. What happened? It happened exactly as I said it.

He was like, you're a murderer, and the guy was like, times two, shit. Yeah, pretty much. How many guys have you murdered? One. That's crazy. I think it was like, what are you in for? And he's like, petty theft. He's like, that's it's it he goes I murdered a guy And then like that

Larry with a knife I got bullied by Jeff Shane Gillis when I was sober was like drink a beer And I was like man absolutely If you get bullied I'll get it I would be that guy in prison Who's like I also why fucking rape somebody Okay

I got a big old hug. I don't know why. I'm just going to go back. I saw Finch and Fat Joe at 11 a.m. at Montclair State for $11. There were seven people there. I remember that. Finch, the band Finch. What is Uber?

That record is fucking perfect. Goldfinger was also there. I love that fucking record. That album was awesome. They are getting back together and playing that record from the back. Really? It's the 20-year anniversary. Are we going?

So I hear I don't listen to that kind of music. I don't know. Mike Feeney was telling me. And half the time when he talks, I go. I'm playing with somebody else. Feeney. I don't know. Feeney.

Feeney. I don't like this bit. I do like doing this in the basement. You react so funnily. I don't like this bit. I do like doing this in the basement. You react so funnily. I don't like electricity. How am I supposed to stop when he reacts like that? Do not. This is bringing me back.

I know. You know what I said? When you guys, sorry, I'm sorry to scream. When you guys said, I said, I'd love to have my brother on the podcast. Sure, that'll be fun. You know. As long as, you know, what's the worst that's going to happen? He's going to bully me like it's third grade again?

It immediately happened. Back to the hamper. This basement looks like our basement as a child. These are our toys, and he's got a taser again. I can't accept hugs from my sister because she used to be here. He used to be here. Except a hug from this sister. Am I allowed to ask Ethan a question?

No. Ethan, is there a hamper available hypothetically for no reason? I don't have a hamper now. He knows where his bread is buttered. Do you guys mind if I smoke a cigarette? Not at all. You're going to leave? No, he has a kid. Oh, right.

The kid will smell your cigarette. It's going to make him a better kid. I do have asthma and I am allergic to cats, so right now I may die by the end of the podcast. It's going to make him a better kid. I do have asthma and I am allergic to cats, so right now I may die by the end of the podcast. It'll be fun. And this guy's got electric. You know what I heard clears that up. Oh, God! That

scared me! Of course. And I'm over here. I cannot imagine how you feel. Can I say this? I don't want to be a shock podcast, but can I electrocute you in the butt? No, you just wait for it. You don't say it. It might be really great.

But then you might have to do that. Only if you let the wolf electrocute you. Listen, I'll push aside Ian. I think he dropped something. I think it's $100. No, Joey, I know what you're trying to do. And listen, it's not going to work. Okay.

So. I know. Yeah, I got you. Can you show me that Stay Puft marketing? In the butt If you I will let you shock me If you let him shock you It might be a holiday pleasure It has to be consensual shocking unless they're related

And if we Shock each other Game over But I don't like it None of us like it Jake wouldn't do it unless I shocked him. Who's Jake? Oh, I love Jake.

What if you shock me and I hold on to her to see if she gets shocked while I get shocked? What if I don't get all shocked and I let one of you lick me? What if you shock me too and I'll be licking your mouth? Spit in my mouth? That's cheating. Jeremiah's spitting in her mouth. She's spitting mine. Yeah, but then I'll jerk off That's cheating. I took a huge... That's not cheating. Jeremiah's spitting in her mouth. She's spitting in mine.

Yeah, but then I'll jerk off to it later, and that feels weird. Either of you, any of you. You think it's good, but it's not good. No, it's... You think it's hot, and then you just really... And then you chew live in your mouth.

Yeah. I vomited immediately. I won't do that. Isn't it fucking weird that when someone spits in your mouth, you can feel the different spit? Yes. You'd think that maybe it would just be spit.

No, because I'm disassociated so much I really have no feeling at the time. Have you ever had it done sexually? Uh-huh. By a man or a woman? Woman. Nice. If a guy spit in my mouth, I'd knock him the fuck out. Yeah, that's a different... Even if he was inside me. Really? Fuck gays. That's just out of bounds. Get out of here, Devrin.

Devrin. Best difference. I knew. I'm sure you have Have you sucked a penis? Have you sucked on a penis before? Quite often I was just wondering Within the last calendar week

Not to completion though Oh really? So you're still straight then technically I was thinking is it gay if I don't make them cum? You can't make them cum. I'll tell you what, it's only gay if you get a boner while sucking the dick. What if you get it before because you're just so excited about it?

No, you have to be getting the boner from the act of sucking the dick. He's getting a boner from thinking about it right now. Then you're a little bit gay. I'm not getting a boner. Don't touch my cock. You're safe here. Nothing is gay. Everything is pleasure.

That's what I believe. I'm a man of a thousand pleasures. You just murdered them both. How am I wrong? They stopped making noise. Tell me what I'm wrong. That's why I wanted to electrocute my butt. I wanted to electrocute your butt to know if I could electrocute my own butt.

But then I'm afraid I've got to do that every time now. I've got to buy a taser and have my wife do it. Why is it so funny? Everything is pleasure. Everything is pleasure. Everything is pleasure. Gregstone.com for tour dates.

Patreon. Oh my God. Siblings on the pod is a great idea It's the best Who else do we know that is siblings? Everyone has brothers and sisters I'm an only child I have a sister who beats me

She still doesn't Get over it But not in a fun way She does a bad beating You're okay You know what she does if she has to get something out of this drawer? She'll just check you. Excuse me?

Have you considered buying one of these? I should. I really should. You using that is making me sweat. I feel so right with this in my hand. It felt like I haven't actually had a hand until just now. Like Captain Hook, but with electrocution. This is how I'm supposed to be living.

I agree. I feel the same way. We made dreams come true, though. That's how I'm supposed to be living. I agree. I feel the same way. We made dreams come true, though. That's how I feel with my Switchblade. I love Switchblade. Once I got a Switchblade, I was like, oh, I'm a nice person. Yeah, yeah. You get them.

You just have them on. You go, oh. Yeah, totally. I'm a stabby guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a stabby guy. I'm a whip person. I want to get a whip.

Whipsters. A whip on a train. Oh, juice. Yeah. With a cat of nine tails. Yeah. Well, no. And then we wear leather like a cat and balls in our mouth. Leather like a cat. nine tails? Yeah. Well, no. And then we wear leather like a cat.

And there are balls in our mouth. We wear leather like a cat. Nine tails is a Pokemon. Like Catwoman. No. Cat of nine tails is a whip. It's like a leathery flail. Yes.

But imagine on a train. They made a Pokemon called Nine Tails. And someone comes on with a gun. They're like, this train is mine. Then you go, not so fast. Yes. And say, ex-Marine, stand down. Right.

Semper Fi, I got this. I wasn't wrong. Somebody whips out a taser and you're like. Yeah. and say, ex-Marine, stand down. Semper Fi, I got this. That guy wasn't wrong. Somebody whips out a taser and you're like... Yeah, yeah. The guy pulls a taser and the whip's out the window. I was walking home the other night, 3 a.m., there's a homeless guy taking a huge bat, smashing it in his scaffolding, going,

and I was like, where's an ex-Marine when you need him? Dude, there's so many crazy people lately. There was a woman today in my neighborhood going, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, walking by me. And I was like. Well, that's what Attell said on stage last night. He goes, Summer's here. The smells are out.

And he goes, and the smell is stabbing. Dude, that's true. Summer is, people get loco. There was a guy jerking off on the train yesterday. He looks at me and he goes, this isn't even to you. And I was like, well, you couldn't even. He's a good person. Did he say that?

He looked at me and he's like, it's not even to you. It's to someone else. You're not good looking enough. No. And your comedy isn't very good. You're medium at best. You're special in that I have a 1200. I'm sorry.

I was in a mood. You know, when I see a guy, people make out on the TV, I can't look. But if a guy's jerking off on the train, I was born with no eyelids. You've got to. I'm in a mood. You know, when I see a guy, people make out on the TV, I can't look. But if a guy's drinking on the train, I was born with no eyelids. I'm scared. What are you, an animal? I can't look away. Of course. And they tug at it like nobody's.

Do you give notes? You should give notes. Yeah, yeah. Why are they making it? If you're out in public, you got to commit. Yeah. You got to really. You don't want anyone to see your little cock.

You're going to make it a big cock. So they're just tugging at it. I hate it when they're tugging at it like that.. So they're just tugging him. I hate it when they're tugging it like that. Yeah, they're really tugging. And sometimes they'll get like it's puffy whip. Sorry. My contacts almost came out. You should do like when you see him jerking off, you got to be like hot leather, swimwear.

What? These are the things that get me hot. Bacon on a sizzling plate. Try to get them going more. Get them to come quick. It'll be done. But then they'll clear ease. Gay pride.

What? It doesn't shoot that far. You got to stand them down. You sit directly across. You make eye contact. You take out your joint. I've stopped guys from jerking off before. Yeah, me too.

Because I've threatened to sit on it. Oh, that'll get him. I've gone like this. Cut it out! Cut it out! But you have a risk there. You have a 1% risk of that going real wrong. Well, I've gone, hey, dude, take it somewhere else. And nine times out of ten, they've gone,

alright. And then they get up. Dude, guys with their dicks out are always, they're like dogs who shit on something. Like, if you're like, no, they're like, I'm okay. Yeah. Sometimes they take their balls out and they, like, pull the balls out and their dicks out and you're like, don't Like if you're like, no, they're like, well, okay. Yeah. Sometimes they take their balls out and they like pull the balls out and their dicks out and you're like, don't.

And they're like, you know, don't. And they're like, okay. Let me just fold this back up. Because they're never doing it to me. They're always doing it

to a near woman, like a different woman who looks like a woman and they're doing it and then I look at her and I'm like, hey, come with me, come with me,

just to get them away because they're always slowly inching. I did that. Yeah, yeah. And then they see me and I'm like, this was my whole life growing up is I'd walk by a dude with my hot friends

and I would feel them about to like stare at their butt and I would whip around and go, fuck you. And they'd be like, holy cow. It was the best. It was the best. I like when they're jerking off, you just go, you're so bad. You're so bad.

Thanks, Ethan. I got a guy to stop playing His bluetooth speaker loud Because there was a homeless guy sleeping Don't do that because Someone did that on the train And they got beat the fuck up and stomped out by five people Someone else got stabbed recently In the train because an old man goes

Can you please not play your music And these two adults stabbed him. So I'm telling you, do not confront people. Can I tell you how I did it, though? Because you'll like it. Let me tell you. Big black guy laying down on three benches. Big guy. Fat or huge?

Huge, not fat. And he's going like this. He's laying down. Is he more of a Greg or a Joe? Oh, what are we doing? You're the big guy. He's the fat guy. he more of a Greg or a Joe? Oh, what are we doing? Joe. You're the big guy. He's the fat guy. Thank you. And then this guy is a small Dominican man playing music.

And I go, hey, man, could you turn that off? And I turn and he goes, this isn't you don't. He goes, this isn't your house. And I go, no, but it's his. And he turns and looks at the black guy and the black guy goes, like, I'm trying to sleep. Like the guy was trying to sleep and he was like, and then this guy got off the train. So I knew that if anything turned, black guy who's trying to sleep. Like, a guy was trying to sleep, and he was like, and then this guy got off the train. So I knew that if anything turned, black guy who's trying to sleep would help me out.

That is a lot of confidence. Yeah, that is not really in reality. I was like, you want to sleep? And he was like, I want to sleep. I didn't know there was eye contact. I had another guy with me, too. What if he was like, let me just, and then. To be honest, I'm trying to get into a fight.

I got into a fight at a grocery store the other day. Don't stop. You're going to get hurt. The people in this town are unhinged. How long have you been into hardcore? A small woman. How long have I been into hardcore? Is it recent?

Like a year? About a year. All right. So this level of violence that you're getting into, this is first year hardcore stuff. Really? The first year you get into hardcore, you want to fight all the time. Yeah, I want to fight all the time. She's lying.

She's been into hardcore more than a year. What are you fucking talking about? Like, into it, into it. When did we go see Turnstile? A year ago. But we saw American Nightmare before that. Oh, yeah. And you're not talking about hardcore way before.

Those aren't the violent bands. Are you? If you're new into it. No, I, yeah, remember, I was really into punk. And then you were like, see Turnstile. And I was like, oh, shit. I really like this. And then I was like, oh, now I see this isn't even hardcore. And then I got really into punk and then you were like C-turn style and I was like, oh shit. I really like this. And then I was like, oh, now I see this isn't even hardcore.

And then I got really into hardcore and I opened the floodgates on all my buddies who've been pushing hardcore. What are you getting into? Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's my favorite? Tell me your favorite hardcore bands. My favorite hardcore bands right now, Tsunami. Are we going to go around the table?

Tsunami's really fucking good. Yeah. Incendiary. Yeah. What else do I listen to the most? I'm looking down the plate. I listen to Angel Dust a lot. Trapped Under Ice a lot. These are tough hardcore bands. These are ones that make you chug, chug, chug.

Madball, Trapped Under Ice, A Gang Called Speed. Fucking End It. Yes. They're so fucking good. So good. So good. Dude, End It? Madball trapped under ice A gang called Speed Fucking ended Yes So good Dude ended When they fucking hit And then that's a perfect time to stage dive

Into a somersault And like I was saying The best thing about fucking ended Is their fucking vocal Their vocalist has that I love a unique voice. So much of this shit sounds the fucking same. My buddy is friends with them and said

that he digs the pod. We got to get them on. They're from fucking Baltimore. Man from Baltimore can be pretty ignorant. What's more iconic steps? The minor threat steps in DC or the trapped under ice steps in Baltimore? Minor threat. That's fair. Let's be real. Okay. And I love trapped under. Let's be real. Okay.

And I love Trapped Under. Let's be real. They're fantastic. I haven't listened to End It. You must. I've sent you End It. New Wave. Oh, Ceremony I love, obviously. New Age Slavery.

Play Lifer. No, no, no. New Age Slavery. New Age Slavery. Oh, no, don't play. No, I'm not. I'm just saving. No, Mama's getting upset.

Add to queue. Sorry. Sorry, Ethan. But, yeah, Turnstile was like the soft opening for me. They're a good gateway hardcore band. Totally. The new album is a good gateway.

I always liked when I was a kid, Rammstein. Is that hardcore? What is that? No, that's like new metal. Yeah, what is that? Rammstein is new metal. Yeah, Rammstein is a new metal band. Ignite, Bane.

That's how you and I bonded when we met each other in the green room at Levity Live. We bonded over Ignite, Bane, Snapcase. Also, I'm as straight as a line that I stick out my nose. Yeah, I'm as straight as a lion said I stood on my nose. Project X. Yeah, man. I was straight edge

for a very, very long time. I was straight edge too. Were you? What happened? Life. Wait. You're straight edge. Well, I also broke edge too. Well, you're sober. Do you get to claim straight edge when you're sober? No, I don't because I fucking rip cigs. I have way more

respect for people that are fucking sober after being a complete degenerate than people that are straight. I've never had it drop. Well No, I don't because I fucking rip cigs. I have way more respect for people that are fucking sober after being a complete degenerate than people that are straight. I've never had a drop. Well, then I don't care. If you were like strung out and now you're clean, then sing a fucking song. And that's why they call you the wolf. Listen, I respect everybody

to do your thing, but I'm just saying. I agree. You know, I was on heroin for fucking 10 years and now I'm clean.. I agree. You know? Yeah. I was on heroin for fucking 10 years and now I'm clean. What's a straight edge band that has been straight edge since the... Earth Crisis. Earth Crisis. I do like Earth Crisis. They're still straight edge and still vegan as fuck.

Animal Liberation now. In the middle of their thing, they're like... In the middle of their thing, they'll like, I'm going to kill yourself. And then they'll be like, we're donating all the proceeds to Little Briar Patch, Lamby Lamb Farm, Farm, Farm. Anyway,

please buy our shirts. It goes to Little Chickie Chickie Baby Don't Dice. Have you heard the song Firestorm? Yes. It is the most, It is too straight edge. That song is literally one hit of meth away from just being a white power march.

That song just sounds so racist. But it's not. What about Save the Day? I love Save the Day. What about A Day to Remember? Did you know that Save the Day's albums tell a story? No, I didn't know that.

Put your face away. I'm sorry I'm leaving. I can't slow down. Oh, I can't slow down. I'm through being cool. I'm sorry I'm leaving. So stay what you are. Whoa.

What a firefly. Did you make that up or is that a real thing? It's a real thing. Say it all. The album's in order. Tell a story. Just like Brand New, The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me is a concept album about a horrible car crash. Oh, yes.

I can't slow down. I'm through being cool. I'm sorry I'm leaving. It doesn't really tell a story, though. It's just a bunch of words. So stay what you are. Hey, man, look. I can't slow down. That riff is so good. I can sorry I'm leaving. It doesn't really tell a story, though. Hey, man, look, I can't slow down.

I don't know. I can't slow down. And because of that, I'm sorry I'm leaving. Right. So my dad caught me masturbating. I can't slow down because I'm through being cool and I'm sorry I'm leaving. So you know what?

Stay what you are. It should rhyme. If someone said that to me at a party, I'd be like, good point, Cobra. Thank you so much. What is this? You know, like it's not a real sentence. All right.

It's like a haiku or some shit. You know what's crazy? Have you ever really read the lyrics? Come on. Have you ever really read the lyrics from those first two Saves the Day records? They're a little fucking twisted. Oh, dude.

Oh, yeah. Like some of them are a little bit creepy. Take a rusty saw. Yeah, I want a drag. Cut a a little fucking twisted. Oh, yeah. A little bit creepy. Take a rusty saw. Yeah. I want a piece of my thigh. Oh, dude, dude, what's that one song? I sell my clothes, I'm off to heaven. It's like,

it's like, and if you want me to, I'll take a knife to my own brown eyes. It's like, what girl is worth that? But you know what's good? It's like, what girl is worth that? But you know what's good? It's like you look at him, not now, he's like an adult now, but at the

time you would look at him and he'd be there and he's like, you'd like, this guy means it. Little guy. That's the thing is you get older and now that I'm married, I'm like, yeah man, you're just being a bitch. Like, you're gonna meet someone, you'll settle a little bit, you'll learn to love them, you have a happy life, everything's medium, get the fuck over it true everything's medium i heard that he wrote

those songs but it was like mouthpiece it was mouthpiece with the kid from saves the day singing which was just like a full heart which a really good heart come come at me bro i just want to take it and go you want it but i'm a young skywalker you will die and sizzle you these lyrics are i mean this is suicidal. At the time, I thought they were fantastic. Now I'm like... I played this for a girl, and she was like,

I don't like these lyrics. There's a beautiful sky tonight when if you were by my side, then we could share it, but you're gone. So come at me with your moon and burn me in the stars because nothing matters anymore.

I just want a record. This is one of my favorite bands. Justin has what you got that I don't have. His brown eyes. Oh, yeah. I know blue. Listen to how much he's willing to change for a piece of pussy. I know blue eyes get boring, but I'll wear dark glasses all the time.

And hey, if you want me to, I'll take a knife to my own brown eyes. You're unwell. Love yourself and find someone that loves you. She's not worth it. Dude, remember when Saves the Day did the video with the Muppets and then fucking, who did Half Pipe? Weezer just did a real Muppet video? I heard some inside shit on that.

I heard that Saves the Day was actually on tour with Weezer or something and Chris was like, I'm going to try to do a video with the fucking Muppets and I heard Weezer snake the idea. Oh, really? That's why Saves the Day got it. I believe that. I don't know if it's true. Cannot confirm. Speaking of Weezer, can I say this? Can I say one thing? Also, I love Weezer.

You say a lot. Now, this is a conundrum. How do we get the phone? Which hardcore band sings this? There you go, baby. Here I am. Oh, well, you left me here so I could sit and cry. Well, golly gee, what have you done to me?

Well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Buddy Holly. If you ever want to sit there. The real hardcore guy. She sent me this last night. She's like, this is on rips, and it's Buddy Holly. It you ever want to. The real hardcore guy. She sent me this last night. She's like, this is on rips and it's Buddy Holly. It's so good. I'm just going to play two seconds of it.

You're not going to because of monetization. We're going to get demonetized. We're going to get demonetized. If you want to talk about a band. Buddy Holly is the OG. You look at them and you go, what the fuck is wrong with you? I know this band that has a hat. Give me the hat.

Give me the fucking hat, you fucking dumbass. What? No. Back. It's good. It's image of you, you fucking dumbass. What? No, back! It's good. It's image of you changing. Guess what this stands for. I will, interestingly, walk

its door down. I will, dog. It's not I wish I was dancing. I'll tell you that much. I wish I was dead. Yes. And what do you do when your brother has a clothing line called I wish I were dead? It was from the song. I wish I were dead? What is the song I wish I was dead. Yes. And what do you do when your brother has a clothing line called I wish I were dead? It was from the song. You're I wish I were dead?

What was the song I wish I were dead? I wrote that. He wishes he was dead. Wait, do you have an Instagram with I wish you were dead? Yeah, it's a clothing company. Wait, I wish I was dead. Why do I have that? Because that's what you tell yourself all the time.

I wrote the song, a kid's lighting. I made the hat. They wanted more shit. Yeah. And I like to take money from people for items. Every time an album, every time a banner album comes out, I have to read the lyrics and go, is this a cry

for help? Do I need to call him? Do I need to speak with him? Because this one is definitely called Six Feet Deep. Not deep enough. Those lyrics are crazy. What? Not only are you going to die, but You do it over there, so you don't do it out here. Are there any songs that are like, I've always known my brother was gay.

My brother could only do bringershows and his medium talent. Stop spending money on eggs. She figures you have a kid now. Your wife doesn't even love you. She just settled. That one was weird And then people mosh And I'm like why are you moshing

They're calling it a breakdown because he's having one You've had that loaded for a long time right That was pretty good You guys should do a show together We'll keep trying to talk about it This is the only issue Hi everybody Today's episode is sponsored by Honey The easy way to save when shopping Talk about it. Oh, pause. Let me pause you. This is the only issue. Wait, say pause again. Pause. Hi, everybody. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey,

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Do it. You're only hurting yourself by not. See you later. Say pause again. Pause. Pause. Fast forward. Wait, what did you do?

Rewind. And unpause. We did a podcast together for a while that I was like, really, it was about comic books. But one of my biggest fans. Tell the name. C cerebros right we did it uh one of my biggest fans who's always one of the sweetest guys messages me and he goes hey man i i love this and you guys are so great but i gotta be honest i can't tell who's talking ever turns out we sound exactly like in your clothes oops ever. Turns out we sound exactly alike. Oops. When we get going. That's the gay one.

Quit tasing my boy. When I heard him for two seconds outside your special, I was like, brother. We have a lot of mannerisms, so it's hard to decipher. I love it. I could do a robot voice. I'll do Bernie Mac the whole time. Yeah. I said, Joe, what's going on?

I met your other friend. I met your other friend. I was like, hey. Oh, I'm Greg's brother. He looked at me and went, oh, absolutely. My son cries when he shows up. My son starts crying because he doesn't understand what's happening. He sees me and goes, I don't know. You look like if we smushed Greg's face just a little bit.

No. And put really fucked up. You look like if we smushed Greg's face just a little bit. No. And put a beard on. He just. When I posted a picture of us together on my band's Instagram, the kid goes, he looks like a nice version of you. Yes. Okay. It's an angel and devil on your shoulders.

That's so fun. Yeah. The way you're holding the mics is enough. I'm going to take a picture. Freeze. Go back up. Pause. Oh my God.

Yep. Now, you said something that i really resonate with you go i talk about over here so i don't do it over here right that is something that exists in music and comedy where we make these like dark jokes these like evil things and everything because it's not real but people seem to be losing that idea that we can talk about certain things and you're not attached to it. Which is funny because I think in a lot of

rap music, it's getting to the point where they're literally, it's no longer a fantasy. They're literally talking about the horrible things they've done. It happens, for sure. Listen, when you're writing something, you're trying to take one feeling that happens in a fraction of a second

or something and then write a whole fucking thing about it. It's not like, you know what I mean? If that was just your whole fucking life, you're not going to stop being sad and go play a gig. Every joke I write is, let me go there here so I don't go there in reality. Let's talk about rape, pedophilia, racism. I write is let me go there here so I don't go there in reality.

Like, let's talk about rape, pedophilia, racism. I want to talk about it because then I get comfortable about it. And then we can address it. Like, you make fun of rape. Then you can talk about it. You can talk about it. And then when you talk about it, you can then get comfortable with it. And this is the thing I always say, though, right?

Some people, they can't. And I go, that's not for you. Then it means it's for other people. But don't take away other people's. That's how I deal this is how i dealt with 9-11 you don't deal with that way that's okay yeah but this isn't for you this is for other people let the other people do this i just found out about the whole um dude crazy both towers i know that's nuts listen cobra if you're not looking up over there you're not gonna know that i know i know it's crazy.

And now I passed it the other day and I was like, where'd they go? Where'd my boys go? Just like a gap. Here are my boys. No, I just found out about the whole Judy Gold writing a book about like, yes, I can say this or whatever. And Shane Gillis. Yeah. I just found out about that whole beef.

I know nothing. Tell me. I know nothing. There's a beef with Judy Gold and Shane Gillis. Beef. Isn't that insane? They like squash it But fucking

Judy wrote a book called Yes I Can Say This And it was coming out a little after the Shane thing happened And she like chastised Shane Went after Shane Because of what he did I love Judy too and I love Shane But it was fucked up what she did

And I was doing like radio On Nikki's show And I love Shane, but it was fucked up what she did. And I was doing like radio. But she was saying what you said was racism, not funny. On Nikki's show. And I said my piece and it wasn't welcome. Wasn't she kind of being like. And I wasn't on her side. Wasn't she kind of being like what you were saying wasn't pushing boundaries. It was just like dropping racial.

Yeah, but her whole thing is I should be able to say whatever I want in the name of comedy. I love Judy. I love Judy. I love Shane. I think it was a bit of a push of like, maybe this will get some book sales. I don't get what you mean. Ever imagine those two feuding? I mean, it's crazy. So she's saying she can say what she wants, but then went after Shane.

It seems hypocritical. She ding, ding. No, no, no, no, no. I'm asking. We're not taking a case again. She basically was like, she wrote a book that was like, David Tell said to her one night, do you think it's bad if I say this? And she was like if dave's saying this where we've gone too far she wrote a book basically being like you can say what you want push boundaries that's what

comedians are supposed to do politicians have become oh no that's their one-man show now but she basically was like um you should be able to say whatever then gillis got kicked off of snl and then judy was like And then Judy was like, Oh, CNN was like, Hey, you're all for saying whatever you write a piece on this. And Judy goes,

I think that if you want to work for SNL, no, you're not going to be able to do it. You can be a comedian. You can do whatever you want, but if you want to work for SNL, no, you can't say racial slurs.

Okay. So they're both, I get that. And both make sense. You can't work for Disney. I still never heard. I like, I still haven't heard exactly what he said. Do you know what I mean? Some people say that he

basically was like, New York City was the voice talking, being like, we're going to put all those beep over in the beep area. He was doing a fucking character in context it no longer exists. But somebody else said it wasn't a character. And whoever said that's a fucking fag. So, hey, my mom's

a fag. Sorry. It's all a mo fag. Oh, hey, my mom's a fag. Sorry. Is she? No. It's all a moot point. Unconfirmed. Yeah.

She's a number one. Really? We have suspicions. Do we? You do. Is she? What am I doing? Let me know. Hold on real quick.

If Joe's here, I can't talk about my mom. If mom came out right now and said, guess what? Turns out I'm a lesbian. You're shocked? No. Right? Exactly. What does she look like?

You guys? Oh, my God. She looks like me. Oh, my God. If I was an old woman. You're shocked? No. Right? What does she look like? Not at all. Oh, my God. She looks like me. Oh, my God. If I was an old woman. Yeah. That's what. George?

She's been sleeping on the couch for 30 years. Oh, my God. What? What? George is her husband? You never thought about this? No. I thought this was an unspoken thing that mom's a huge dyke.

Does she have friends? Is George a woman? Oh, we love her. George is my stepdad. No offense, Cobra. I love my mom. This can't get out. What?

Well, she doesn't listen to podcasts. Yeah. Oh, my. Because my stepdad mom. This can't get out. What? Well, she doesn't listen to podcasts. Yeah. Oh, my. Because my stepdad is. She's too busy scissoring. My stepdad shows like no emotion. They show no emotion. He is a.

Can I go one further? She clearly hired him to be like. Not hired him. It's how I feel about when she got married to him. She was like, my kids need a man in the house. They need someone to fix the house. Get us not broke. I think I'm the one to ask on this.

How short is her hair? Oh. Short. What's her. It's never been longer than this. Does she wear shirts that look like bandanas? Shut up. This is my territory. Yes, please. What is her shirt, shoes choice? Let me think. Picture

a lesbian. That's all. She's a nurse. Is her car the same as Greg's? What'd you say? Subaru. It's not a Subaru. No, no. But she's a pre, she would be pre-Subaru-aged What'd you say? Subaru. It's not a Subaru. No, no. That's not a Subaru. She's a pre... She would be pre-Subaru aged. I don't want to talk... What's her first name?

Gail. Right? You're really just putting this together? Can I go one further? Greg, can I go one further? Now listen, boys. We got something to share with y'all. They'll be fucking Gails. My mom's name right i mean listen i love her either way no i love her of course and look and maybe she's not but there if it came out i wouldn't

be i just go far say if it really came out i would not be surprised if it came out we're going yep listen can i tell you one thing about my mother was a fucking nurse in an er her whole life i've seen her make grown male doctors cry yes i have seen her strip a man down in a me included also our fucking stepfather i have seen her destroy men like just go like reach up to them and scream at them but you see like a force ghost come out and just reach into their fucking soul and go you want this fuck you like she's like she has these straight she has a strong woman her Who would name her Dale? Oh yeah, she didn't name herself, so I don't know. Dale Earnhardt? No, this is

a pre-Earnhardt. Yeah, of course it's pre-Earnhardt. She's 50. She's older than 50. Yeah. How big of a tag, you lady from Jersey? Why is her name Dale? Is it short for something? No, Dale. I don't think that's right. Dale is like an old mom name. There are lots of old moms named Dale.

Are you serious? I used to think Chip and Dale. I thought't think that's right. Dale is like an old mom name. There are lots of old moms named Dale. Back then, Roy Rogers. I used to think Chip and Dale. I used to think Chip and Dale. I thought it was a guy and a girl my whole life. I thought Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers was a boy and a girl. Can I name my kid Dale after your mom? I love that name. Our mom is awesome. By all means, I'm sure she's crazy.

Hold on. You said that you wouldn't be surprised, and you were about to go, I'll go one further. Right. And we interrupted. What's the one further? Look at me. You're going to tell me George isn't gay. No, no, no, no.

Let me argue this. Let me argue this. George is not gay. He's not straight. He's not anything. Asexual. Maybe. That's what I would have said about you.

But then I met your wife and she's hot. You thought I was gay? Really? No, I thought you were, you know. What? Asexual. Asexual? Why?

Asexual beast. I'm like one of the sexualest, most sexual men alive. He literally is a masturbation anniversary towards a viper. I'm like the most affectionate. You do like a sexual ritual every year with different masturbation chambers. He has a huge crush on you.

I'll never say her name out loud. He has a hot lady who had a crush on me? You gotta tell me who. I'll never tell you. Can you tell me and not him? Say it to me never do that. Can you tell me and not myself? Say it to me. Cobra, can you tell me and not him?

I would love to hold that over him. I'll shock myself in the butt if you tell me. Really? Yeah. Let him shock you in the butt and I'll tell you. No, I'll do it.

No, I'll do it. He'll be nice. He'll never give it back if you give it to him. He'll do one. I've seen how he's been. I'll give it back, but I'll shock myself in the butt.

I'm not going to betray your trust. You say it. I'll do it. Let me say it. Can I just say what's going to happen? He'm not going to betray your trust. You say it. I'll do it. Let me say it. Can I just say what's going to happen? He's not going to give it back. He's going to shock me. There's going to be a wrestling match on that table. We will get you a new table, I promise. Okay. Now, young Skywalker, you

will die. I ain't shocking shit. I didn't shock you. I will. It's scary, though, right? I never wanted to know who the woman was. I only wanted power! I'm showing off. I'm trying to be a good brother on camera.

I should have stuck with the dickhead. Yeah. You will die. Oh, the glove has shifted hands. Do you still have your podcast? Yes, it's called Infinity Gregstoned, where we get high and play with action figures. And we're currently at about 20.

Oh, do you smoke weed? 20. No, but not all the time. Can I just see it for a second? Just sometimes. You can't smoke weed anymore. Why? Because it's not good for you.

You can't do Adderall and smoke weed. You're running from yourself. We love Adderall. I don't do Adderall. I take Adderall so that I could think. And I don't take it when I smoke weed. And I smoke weed once or twice a week as just a little bit of a fun thing for myself. And I don't smoke weed on every podcast because I don't want to be a weed guy.

Don't be a weed guy. No, Stone is my last name. But you just said we get high on the podcast and we do things. That was a quick pitch. I would throw, as soon as I saw that, I would stop being Ian and pause the button. Don't say that. Don't say what? I'm way worse than him.

I'm like Adderall. I get Red Bull cases on my Amazon. This guy's got problems. Red Bull with Adderall. You know what I did today? I drank the cold brew. The concentrate without the water. I'm livid with power. Do you know how I make my coffee?

I take a tin of chock full of nuts and then I take a fucking without the water. I'm sorry. It's so good. Oh, it's so good. I'm livid with power. Do you know how I make my coffee? Tell me. I take a tin, I take a tin of choc full of nuts and then I take a fucking I bet you do, Chris. a brick of fucking of pistella. You mix them together

and then you just make the coffee like that. Like cold brew. Cold brew, hot brew, who gives a fuck? Let me jump in here. Yeah. He also does his bagels

with butter and cream cheese. I don't do that anymore. Who's gonna die? It's called swirl. It's called swirl. It's fucking delicious. I know about swirl butter and cream cheese I don't do that anymore It's called swirl I know about swirl too No you don't you never fucked a black guy How you doing folks No that's called redacted remember

Somebody ask you this just answer this for me My dick was redacted last night Business decision cause I stopped doing Friday night Greg Which was an old pod I was doing I loved it We had two of those problems because there was issues with the, we were on a label. We had to get off. And so then we did Greg Stoned just to be quick. But I think I go back.

Do I go back? Yes. Friday Night Greg is great. Okay. I love that name. I've never heard of this stupid stoned thing. Friday Night Greg. Yeah.

Because it's only about three weeks old. But Friday Night Greg, we're back. Friday Night Greg is great. And also Night Cream, my favorite thing. Night Cream. So funny and so great. No, because then I have to have Harumi on every episode. And I love him, but he's hard to wrangle.

Because he's doing so much stuff. Friday Night Greg. Friday Night Greg's back. Get a better studio. Friday Night Greg. Where? What studio? Who?

I have no money. I have no nothing. Here. Come over every Friday night. Let's hang out. That would be so much fun. Friday night, Greg and Ian. Be in Friday.

Be in Friday night, Greg, with Jordan. Be in Fridays. With Cobra. I'm so committed to Cobra. She's Cobra. You're Wolf. You're Dead Tiger. I was Greg with a goat for a very long time because I would eat cans. What's my name? You're what?

Can I just please have a promise? No, because you are... I promise. I promise on all of my nephews. I promise. If you can take it. I don't make you take it. I don't want to wrestle you on a podcast. What if we submit to give it to Eben?

Ethan. Eben. Ethan, come get the weapon. E-bones. Eben. Eben. Eben. There are so many other...

Do you get this closer? Ebon. Ebon Trump. What does he look like? Do not give it to him, please. Thank you, sir. It'll be so much easier to take it from Ethan. I know.

Sorry, buddy. Don't take it personal. Ethan, give it to me. Yes, sir. Yes, my love. Oh, my God. He has power. Shock the equipment.

Burn it to the ground. You know what I think? Do you guys have some kind of sponsorship with them? Kind of, yeah. This is what you do. You pour this into a cup, and then both of you put your finger in that cup and then I tase the cup. Yes, yes. It's science. It's educational.

We should do a BDSM podcast. You would die for sure. Leather boys. Why would I die? Because your heart's wrapped in meat. Yeah, let's get leathery. It's like a buffer, I think, probably. Yeah, it's a clotted artery.

I put stars behind us so people don't realize that the studio sucks so bad. I just bought a star thing. It didn't make it look any better. What studio are you in? It's too close to your face. It's so close. And I'm not very good to look at.

No, it's just dark. It looks good, though. The neon is cool. Show me. Who's the woman? I like to fantasize. Who's the woman? Well, you got to get tased in the asshole to find out, pal.

Who's the woman? Oh. Ethan. No, I don't want to get tased in the ass to find out pal Who's the woman? Ethan No I don't want to get tased in the ass because I have a very sensitive butthole Ethan If you get tased on the hole We'll tell you Are our listeners going to be annoyed at the noise?

Here's the thing if we build this then it has to happen And I don't want to do it I knew that was going to happen Your nickname is Three Socks Asshole man Three Socks. Asshole, man. El Tigre. Three Socks, both feet and your dance lines.

Oh, what is El Muerto Tigre? The dead tiger. That's better. That's way better than the dead tiger. El Muerto Tigre. What is my name? I'm trying to come up with a name. I am Medpool.

You have shit on your dick. Shit dick. You're shit dick. I am not shit dick because I haven't gotten shit on my dick your name is your name is cunt woman if you're an animal Mr. Whiskers

you saw it come from a real place didn't you Mr. Whiskers I am Mr. Whiskers. And you are Muerto Tigre. And you are the wolf. I am Cobra. And you are Mr. Whiskers.

What is Ethan? Oh, can I show you your handshake? This is what you do. Oh, we already have a handshake. Oh! It's the Cobra. What about this one? Go for a thing. Ice cream. Oh, that's fun. What about this one? The military one? The snail. Oh, that's fun. I'm from the American or I'm from the American

I taught you that one! No, you didn't! Yes, I did! I taught you at the Christmas party and you said I love it! I did! I taught it to her! I taught it to her! She pulled this off yesterday as if it was her own. I taught her it! You thought it was my own? Cobra

snake did. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bullshit artist. He didn't teach me that. I taught you. No, I learned it in high school. I taught you and you even said and you even said and you even said and you even said you all hurt my arm.

I remember specifically. I never would say that. I'm a beast. Look, this is the other one everybody knows. Hi, I'm from the American Heart Association. That's fun. That's a great one. I'm a beast. Look, this is the other one everybody knows. Watch this. Hi, I'm from the American Heart Association. That's fun. That's a great one. But that's probably who you see that from. Somebody in high school. Okay, all right.

Are you going to propose to me? You're the closest I've ever gotten. What I'm here for. What is the hee-kee-kee? I'm proposing to you. Oh, you go. Go show my hand. You go.

Have you ever done the twirl? Wait, wait. I messed it up. No, no, no. Oh, that's what you were doing yes you were tickling him he was tickling joe list on the phone don't get liquid death on your you go that's my favorite anyway moving right along i'm gonna look at ethan real quick that's what he was doing to joe list he was being a shoeshine guy but he was tickling list it was so funny and the

best part was me i went don't forget the penis. And it was the funniest thing I've ever done in my life and it's somewhere on the editing floor. I'm furious with Salamander. Salamander. I love Sally. Salicus. I love him too, but he's got to get that edited. He's got to get that in there. This one's going to get wet.

We got to go. All right, let's wrap this thing up. Where's microphone broke? Oh, yeah. Wow. Don't sizzle me. Don't sizzle me, bro. We never heard your top five hardcore bands. My top five hardcore bands? Fuck.

Oh, yeah. It's pretty easy. Do you have any napkins? The banner, the banner, the banner, the banner, the banner. The banner, the banner, the banner, the banner, the banner. The banner, the banner, the banner, the banner. It's Survivor's Cup. Oh, right. Yes. Warzone.

Yes. Haybreed. Oh, yes. Jamie Jostice said he'd do the podcast. E-Town Concrete. Yes. They're my top five too. Oh, my God.

I love them. I don't know them. What is it? E-Town Concrete. Y'all got time for silly. Because y'all can't feel me. I'm going to make a milli much quicker than y'all can ever figure. I actually did a t-shirt for Crown of Thorns.

Really? Yeah. They have a great t-shirt. What is it? Hard times. What did you say that band was? E-Town Concrete. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Dude. Yes. Oh, my God. E-Town Concrete. A father's marathon. I got punched in the back of the head at Haybreed and E-Town Concrete at Electric Factory in 2002. When I came to, I

fucking grabbed the mic when he was singing a father's marathon. I sang it with another guy and I felt like the song was made for me. If you ever get the chance, see E-Town Concrete in New Jersey when they play Starland. When they play So Many Nights, if you want to see a bunch of shaved,

gene-deficient gorillas scream, cry, word for word, that is two socks. Dude, gene-deficient gorillas is amazing. Yeah, like it's just like everyone loses. That's a good band name. That's their soft song. And people lose their shit, including me. I was crying during Angel Dust when he said,

take me by the hand and let me go, that song. I was weeping. Truck songs? Remember from One of the Ashes? So many nights. Short stories with tragic endings, where they had that beautiful woman sing that thing like her at that show. Yeah. Do you remember? Oh my god. Nick Cave brought up the woman who

sings with him sometimes. I forget who it was, but she passed away on the screen. She died? Yeah, who was that? I don't remember. We talked about it before the 90s? No, we talked about Nick Cave. We just jumped around a lot. Remember Poison the Wild Nerdy?

Can I want to hear a fun, awesome thing? Do your rights, pal. Wait, here's my question. So we, I was friends with our buddies down in Florida. We played one show in New Jersey that was sprung on us where My Chemical Romance is for a show, actually, which is fucking wild. Our buddies were like, we're playing our last

show in Florida. You want to come? We're like, yeah. It's with Poison the Well. We're like, oh. We flew down there and Ryan from Poison the Well picked us up from the airport and we were all just staring at him like... When Opposite of the Seven came out, I fucking loved that. Dude, I brought that song

and printed it out to play it for my poetry class and was like, no, no, you gotta listen to the lyrics. This is hard. And it's all like... That's... He's getting too excited. Here, let's just weld that out. Did you see Frank? Was it my taping? I did. No big deal. Say hi to Frank. From Mike Kim. He's a hom excited. Did you see Frank was at my taping? I did.

He said hi to Frank. He's a homie. No way. Really? We should all go to a show together. When's the banner playing again? Soon. Where?

All over. I'm not friends with E-Town. I'm doing a t-shirt for E-Town. Ask him. I spoke to him a few times. He's a busy guy. I'm not friends with E-Town but I'm doing a t-shirt for E-Town to get Ant money on the show ask him he's chill I've worked with him a few times he seems like a he's a busy guy dude I would love

dude E-Town concrete I mean I don't know him like that I have a question what's the difference between LA hardcore and New York hardcore nothing Mexicans the amount of Mexicans

that's the only difference LA hardcore is fucking sick yeah it is sick actually you know what I will say this the amount of Mexicans in your hardcore band is directly parallel. Yeah, it is sick. Actually, you know what? I will say this. The amount of Mexicans in your hardcore band is directly parallel to how good it is.

Okay, so there isn't any more rappy or chuggy or anything. All that stuff kind of stays in the same. It's all... Like, there is no real... I just always find myself liking East Coast Hardcore. I like West Coast Punk and East Coast Hardcore. Oh, there's so many good bands in Cali right now Seattle has

so many fucking good bands We need to make a playlist to go with this podcast episode I think Yeah, it's fun Isn't Tsunami from the Why don't we all pick 10 songs that we like and put them on a playlist

for Patreon.com Does it have to be that hardcore? No, absolutely not. 10 songs. Just don't go crazy. My chemical romance style in there could be in there. No, no, no, no. For me, it's like I'm really into indie rap. So I would get into...

You can't show us out. Crap. See, let me... One day, you come with me. I take you on an adventure and you'd be like, out. Crap. See, let me, one day. One day. One day. You come with me, I think you're on an adventure, and you'd be like, whoa, this shit is really good. I will open you up.

Playlist. I can give you a list. I can give you a list of really great songs, man. He likes really good hardcore, though. I like really good, don't patronize me. Yes, I love good hardcore, but I like really good rap. That was a nice thing he said. I say one nice thing about it because he's like putting me back in as if the music I also like is not that good. I assume you didn't like good hardcore

when you said you liked crap. And it's not crap rap. Oh, sorry. I got some good stuff. I got some good stuff, man. The only good rap song is... They broke up. They're breaking up.

They're doing a world tour and releasing one last album and then they're breaking up. Sum 41. They're breaking up. They're doing a world tour and releasing one last album and then they're breaking up. Sum 41. They're still together? Since 96. I feel like they broke up and got back together. In the words of Daniel Simonson, LP is a gourd. I fucked up the thing.

Dude, I love imagining Daniel Simonson just being a BDSM master. You're going to get hit again. Do you like that discock? Yeah, I mean, yeah,

you know, I love, you know, I love a lot of music. Where'd you get that sock? Two socks, bro, I always got one in my pocket.

Three socks, I got two on my feet, one on the floor. Three socks. It was found on the floor to clean up this mess. Okay, but what songs

do you put on the playlist? What? Which songs do you put on the playlist? What? Which songs do you put on the playlist? Do you like Jesus Peace? Oh, my God. Because Jesus Peace is dudes from Turnstile, right? Did I imagine that wrong? Bro, I actually don't know them well enough to know their lineage.

If Jesus Peace plays something in Turnstile, I might be completely fucking wrong. Wait, or is Trapped Under Ice Angel Dust? I know Trapped Under Ice Angel Dust and Turnstile is very incestuous, but I'm not familiar with all the members of Jesus Peace. Isn't Trapped Under Ice, Angel Dust and Turnstile is like very incestuous but I'm not familiar with all the members of Jesus Peace and so is Turnstile so is Angel Dust, so is End It oh I thought Turnstile was from Philly

no okay never mind I love Blacklist we used to play with them all the time can we skip Ad on this sorry Blacklist is still one of my favorite We used to play with them all the time. Can we skip ad on this? Skip ad? Sorry. No, just kidding. Sorry.

Blacklist is still one of my favorite fucking albums. Me too. I fucking love them so much. Dude, when people grow, people go is one of my favorite albums. What is it? Heavier Than Heaven? Is that the one? Longer Than God.

That's, first of all, that's one of the fucking, that whole album is fucking perfect. Yeah. Tell me the album. We need to make a playlist. This is what I want to say. All these kids, they love this like fucking like soft fucking hardcore shit now. Like who? Like, I'm not going to say it.

No, I need to know for reference. It's the lame. But you have bands that are good that do that shit. Like, and still are good. Tell us the good ones. Blacklisted is one of those fucking bands that do the soft shit, but it's still hard and it's fucking killer. I don't understand why Blacklisted

is not today still one of the most popular fucking hardcore bands. Everything they do is fucking killer. And it's so good. And there's no bullshit. Do you know what I mean? They're doing okay. 17,000? Blacklisted, they broke up in 2018. I still love that fucking band.

Every time I hear those songs, I'm like, I want to throw a fucking barstool at somebody. Do you have kids? So much. Dude, I remember listening to and the beat goes on on my Dell laptop in like 2004 or whatever like pumping myself up to go to class

because I hated my life. Do you know who... I bet you like... Do you like Modern Life is War? Of course. A fair amount, but I never got into them enough to name like a song.

What? What is it? I know. Modern Life is War? I know. They were one of our... They were one of my favorite fucking bands. We went on tour with them

and it was just like... They were one of those bands that made our band better because I was like really my dick is small i need to fucking be like that yeah those fucking records that's how i was seeing crown of thorns are so fucking good and like the way they write songs don't make any sense to me doesn't make and i would never because they're songs they just go and they build and they build and they build and they build and fuck you the song song's over. And you're like, what? But it's so fucking good. And Jeff is just

screaming. It isn't like this? No, like usually it's like, fast part, mosh part, two-step part, fast part again, blast beat, we're done. They're just like, and it just goes and goes and goes. And Jeff's fucking lyrics are fucking batshit fucking crazy. Modern life of war? Modern life is war.

We played with them so many fucking times. I just got into X-Weapon X. Modern. That's so sick you played with Blacklisted, dude. We played with them way back. He also played with every band that's gotten famous. The banner has opened.

Listen, if you want your hardcore band to get famous, play with us. You're like Skank and Pickle. I wish we were Skank and Pickle. No doubt, open for them. Blink-182. Fucking crazy. Remember every weekend?

See, this isn't really hardcore, but we'd go to Skater's World, and it was Big Wig every week. Big Wig from New Jersey. Big Wig. Black Wagon. Oh, my God. Black Wagon. OCG, one cool guy.

That's kind of where I... I loved hardcore, but I lived more over there. Did you guys know SGR? They were a ska band from Jersey. Actually, I think I'm picturing the sticker. I think I do know who they are. You remember Day 19? Oh my god, Day 19! Yeah, they were from Bloomfield. They were from a block away. No shit. Bloomfield Ave is a great

Catch-22 song. Wait, really? Bloomfield Ave? Is that from the Bloomfield Ave Cafe? Is that about the Bloomfield Ave Cafe? I used to help manage that place. I remember Catch-22. Catch-22 was like the first. I remember Catch-22. They were the first ska band I ever saw live. Are they from Jersey?

They're from Jersey. The Escape Engine? Wait, what's his name? Fucking. I'm making a playlist while you guys talk about all this. Remember the Escape Engine? Yes. Didn't you love them?

Was that a girl? We were always buddies with Dom, but they were good. They were cool. Catch-22 had Jamie Joss just sing vocals on a track, and he's listed as Jamie Haybreed. That's how I would have done it. Anyone remember the band? Dillinger Escape?

Dillinger Escape. I just saw a video from Converge playing in like 2004. He's talking about Escape Engine. We'll do it after the show. It's helping. I'm just making a list as you all talk. When they play saddest day and it's like This is what they want to hear more than me being silent

When I tell you the atrocious The atrocious Mindless inhumane acts I have committed while Converge has been playing I am ashamed of myself They used to come to like fucking Chrome And I'm like oh oh, guess what? Yeah.

Chrome was, I don't want to talk about Chrome. Chrome was a fucking shit show. It was a Mad Max movie. He threatened to kill an entire audience for me once. I threatened to murder an entire room full of fucking people. Because somebody tried to like pick a fight with him or something. And I don't know what was happening. Someone just said, someone hit your brother.

And I was like. He just said, he said so some some i was standing with his girlfriend some guy pushes his girlfriend i fucking pushed him all of a sudden behind me some big dude grabbed my throat i'm getting pulled whatever no big deal turns out the guy who pulled me was the security guard because the guy i pushed was in a fucking gang so it was like some shit right so then it was like he kind of like pulled me aside. All I hear on the mic is, if anyone touches my brother, I'll stab every last motherfucker in this place and threaten

300 people. The problem is, in New Fackin' Jersey, we all know each other. So it was a fucking friend of mine who immediately fucking felt bad. We all figured out, like, oh, we're all just... In Chrome, we would sit there and just do awful fucking things. But the security guards were all friends with us.

So there was no law or God. What'd you do? Terrible things. We threw chairs and they'd just go, what do we do? Nothing. Can I tell them about the time you broke your wrist? That's great. Come on, hear this story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bleep that one line. When he said story, just bleep that one line if you could. I'm self-snitching right now. Look how excited he got. High school. People look at me and I don't want to whatever, but people are always like, oh, you've never been in a fight. But turns out

we used to, anyway, moving right along. You've been in a fight? Yeah. We used to fight all the time. Oh, dude. We were from a shitty neighborhood. Not well. So here's the thing, right? So this kid, fight all the time. Oh, dude. We were in a shitty day. Not well. Not well. So here's the thing, right? So this kid just tells, just talking some shit about my brother

saying that like he's trying to fuck his girlfriend. But I was like, I'm not trying to fuck your fucking girlfriend. Now this Joe at the time is six foot. He was at his massiveness. I've been this size since I was sixth grade. This guy's five foot four. He goes, come meet me at the high school. We're going to fight. And my brother Joe goes, come on, Greg, we're going to go fight some kids at the high school we're gonna fight and my brother go joe goes you come on greg we're gonna go fight some kids at the high school right and the kid is like

don't bring anyone he's like just just grabs me so i grabbed my ply i like this bike pliers where those bike pliers i put them in my pocket like let's go fuck we show up there it's like 10 dudes uh me and it's me and my brother and they're all like talking shit and then my brother just looks at me goes are we gonna fucking fight or are we gonna fuck it i don't know whatever and it's me and my brother and they're all like talking shit. And then my brother just looks at me and goes, are we in a fucking fight? Are we going to fuck it? I don't know. Whatever. And it gets. Oh, no, no. He said something to him and the kid goes, fuck you. And then my brother just in front of nine

people blast this dude in the fucking face. The dudes who are also pretending to be my brother's friend, they run in on him. I grabbed there was I grabbed two guys in a fucking headlock bit through this. I'm biting through this dude's fucking arm. As my brother is destroying this child in a car pulls in. They're honking the horn.

My brother. I just look over and I see my brother on top of this dude with like this. As he's going to land it, someone pulled the dude's legs. My brother punches the concrete. Oh, shit. Breaks his wrist. We go to electric circuit. So thank God it would have killed him. He would have been dead.

This was a guy who drove by. This guy drove by and saw the fight. He drove up on the fucking curb because it must have looked like I was trying to kill this kid. Ran out because he pulled the guy and looked and goes, what are you doing? You're twice. You have two stories mixed up here.

He's yelling at me, barking at me. And I'm like, dude, I don't want to fight you. You're small. Yeah, yes. I feel bad, blah, blah, blah. He's like, well, we're fighting. And he goes, you going to bring anybody, you pussy? And I'm like, that means he's got people with him.

Yes, totally. So I go outside, and who's sitting on my front steps? It's Greg, our boy Tom Walsh, who's like this. Eric Nieves, who was 14 years old. He knows him. With a full fucking mustache. Imagine, you know what?

Imagine Danny Trejo might look like at like 20 years old. Yeah. This was Eric at 15. Mexican? No. Puerto Rican.

Everyone's Puerto Rican. We only had Puerto Ricans. This was Puerto Rican. We only had Puerto Rican. Well, Dominican. It was Puerto Rican. He was definitely Puerto Rican. He has a baby.

Whatever. And our buddy, Tom Bono, who was definitely Puerto Rican. He has a baby. Oh, I'm good. Whatever. And our buddy, Tom Bono, who was like a karate master. Tom Bono was there. Was he? Yes. So we fucking get there. Walked three miles.

Four miles. Yeah, we walked there. We are doing first and last names. He's. Oh, yeah, that's great. It's all good. Yeah, those are all fun. I go, stand here behind a building just in case he actually didn't bring anyone.

I walk around. He's got five people with him and some kid who was my friend that's when i got real fucking mad so i'm standing there and i'm just like like i'm stupid so i'm like okay well i'll fight all of you for getting like i have terrifying people with me yeah so they all like all right we're coming out and i'm going back like just barking, just barking at me. And I'm like, bro, like, now I'm, like, looking at him. He's so small. And I'm like, dude, like, no. And he was like, fuck you. And Greg goes, fuck this. And just tackled him.

I'm like, fuck. Cool. You forgot about that? Greg, I had a temper. Greg didn't really know how to fight yet, but he would. How old were you? He was all in there. I mean, I knew how to fight. I was hurt you. How old were you? He was all in there. I mean, I knew how to fight.

I was fighting you. How old were you? Constantly. This was high school. He's all in there. You said fuck this and tackled him. That's so cute. I'm fighting this guy.

They're running in. It was fucking great. It was great. Like, everybody's going. It was fun. That's the best. That's amazing. And then the guy came in and he was like, which is good.

We saved that guy's life. You killed him. Yes. Yeah. Yes. We get home to my mom, the nurse. He dragged his feet out? That's life. You killed him. Yes. Yeah. Yes. We get home to my mom, the nurse. That's amazing.

We got home to my mom, the nurse. She goes, I think I go to the hospital. My mom goes, who did you punch? Do we need to call the, like,

do we need to call the police? Do we need to save somebody? And he was like, oh, Phil or something. Yeah. I don't remember what. And he had to get a cast.

Yeah. She looks at me and goes, that's a boxer's fracture. Yeah. That's what you get when you punch somebody wrong. And she knows because I've been in some bare knuckle fights. Hell yeah, Dale, because Dale's been in a few fucking fights

with a few hogs over his head. She knew as soon as we walked, we walked in the house like this and she was like, what did you do? Yeah. I think I hurt my hand. She's like, no, stupid. That's the best. Have you been imagining their mom with the same mustache as both of them having? I 100% have this whole time. I also feel like, I feel weird

with the whole mom thing, but you know, she's the best. I love mom. She's the best. The best. A fucking hard ass. I have lesbian moms. No shame, dude. To this day, I'm terrified of fucking women because of my mother. Right. Still to this day. Dude, broke woman, raising three kids, a block out of Newark, New Jersey.

Fucking, you know, just like running three, worked their way up to running three emergency rooms. But you guys protected each other which is so sweet. He said nobody touched my brother. You said fuck this and attacked the guy. That's adorable. And now look at you tasing each other. I beat the shit out of that one kid. Who? That guy?

Yeah. I hate that guy. He got his ass beat, didn't he? Right. I got a... So this is the day in my life. This was the day like, I don the day like i don't even like talking about this you know that guy how did we get into this story yeah i don't want to say his name you don't have to say his name we'll call no no but like i was a child i was in sixth grade i was a little i was a child you know and this is the day that i became a like i realized the world isn't just so you know when he was that age, he wasn't like this. He was skinny. And how much older than him are you?

79, 81. So like three years? Yeah. He wasn't not, he was not, he was very little for a while. Asthma, whatever. Yeah, like it was not. I started rollerblading. He wasn't the badass dead tiger we see in the chorus today. Coke bottle glasses? What? Coke bottle glasses? No, pedophile glasses. Nice.

Because they were my stepdad's glasses. These? Yeah, but like more pedophily. Nice. Yeah, they had children's come on the side. Jeffrey Dahmer glasses. Because they were my stepdad's glasses. These? Yeah, but like more pedophily. Nice. Yeah, they had children's come on the side. Jeffrey Dahmer glasses. Sorry. Welcome. So what happened?

This story isn't even funny. I was a sixth grade kid playing with toys, having a good time. My friend and I are riding bikes. This guy walks, gets over. They take my friend's bike. But they were friends. It was like a friend of ours. Yeah.

And he says, hey, to this dude, he goes, take him off his bike. So the kid comes up to me and he goes, hey, you got beef? And I had never heard this before. I don't even know if that even exists anymore. You got beef? And I went, I got beef. I got beef on the floor. I got beef at home. I didn't know. What are you talking about beef? What are you talking about beef? I had no idea.

Oh my God, just a tiny Italian boy. Oh, we all got beef. I got pasta. I got whatever. Well, that's the other white meat. You thought you were saying the thing Oh my God, just a tiny Italian boy. Oh, we all got beans. We all got beans. We all got beans. We all got beans. We all got beans. Well, that's the other white bean. We all got beans. We all got beans. Also, I was in sixth grade.

You thought you were saying the thing you wanted to hear? Yeah. I got Coca-Cola. This kid was in like 11th grade. Like this kid was like an adult almost. He was much older and bigger at the time. He fucking, I don't even see it coming, punches me with a ring with spikes in the eye. Oh my God.

I got. You could have lost an eye. Six. I come home, I'm bleeding. I had to get stitches in my eye. And I was like, I had. You could have lost an eye. Six. I come home. I'm bleeding. I had to get stitches in my eye. And I was like, I had never been in like a real, like I'd never known about real violence before. Yeah.

I went home and then I walk home and I'm like, somebody punched me. And then Joe just goes out the door. And then we never saw that kid again. I don't know. I come in the house and my mom rushes. She rushes straight. And I was like, why are you walking fast? She goes, do you know someone named?

What? No. Edit the name. Edit that out. Eben. Eben. So I'm like, and I was like, and I knew him and didn't like him. And I was like, what happened?

And I look over and I was going, okay. I just turned around. My mom was like, no, no. Stop. Stop. I was like, no, no. Yeah. What. I was like, no, no, no. What'd you do to him? Statue of limitations.

What, did you kill this guy? I beat the shit out of him. I beat him every day in high school. I will say this. I don't really like fighting a lot. Here's the thing. I don't like fighting people smaller than me. I'll usually only fight people bigger than me.

I have not won a lot of fights. Like I get my ass beat a lot because I'm like, fuck you. Now everyone knows jujitsu and two. It's all bullshit now. Now you can't do anything. They'll break your arm and shit. That's why I like, it's just what it is. This was the most thorough ass beating I have

ever. And it was just like, it was like in my head head I was like this is clean he beat up your brother I don't know he left him there his buddy like picked him up and like carried him like I went up to him and go listen man he was talking

oh that's a bet like Ray Liotta and Goodfellas what do you want fuck it boom boom he was doing one of these. I wasn't even like, I'm stretching the story. I was an innocent child who was like, what? I didn't know. It was like a thing and he snuck, he sucker punched me because I didn't know

we were fighting. It was like saying, I was a little kid. Yeah, I didn't know. And you know what? I bet that kid never did it again because he learned a fucking lesson. I think that kid is like his parents were just raping him. Oh, shit. All right. Sorry. Well, okay. I thought you had a child at five.

What do you have at five? Oh, yeah. It's like 515. Oh, yeah. Well, let me make sure my wife can get a child up. Is there a phone? I have to pee. Yeah, we're good. Well, let's get what do you want to plug? We got a big thing to plug. Just happened the other night. Crushed. You did. Oh, I thought you did a thing

you did so good it's not out yet so I have a special coming out on YouTube it's coming out soon and I have a podcast Friday Night Greg and Infinity Greg Stoned but look we're going to be going back to Friday Night Greg so just subscribe so we can go back to Friday Night Greg are you calling the special

no because it's too long but I love you you're the only person who gave me a good name for the special. Have you found one? I did. And it's the thing I was originally going to go with, but I'm not 100% sure yet. So I'm going to watch it and then whatever. Every three. Yours is on deck.

I loved it. It's just like the more I look at it, I'm like, and you know what it is, too. So I have a joke where I go, I've been waiting for this my whole life. And that's what you said. The title should be. And it's like, I loved it. But also part of me feels is a little arrogant, like like the other side is like, that's what you said the title should be and it's like i loved it but also part of me feels is a little arrogant like like the other side is like that's a youtube special i've been waiting now how long is this how long is this special is it going to be shorter than that

anecdote or um no it's way longer you want to taste them i thought we had like a really you want to get them you want to get them uh i think it should be called that. I've been waiting for this my whole life. I do like that and that's still on deck. I think it should be Friday Night Greg. It should be. Nobody presents Greg Stone. That's good too. Everything Greg touches is the funniest thing ever.

Truly I think Night Cream, you're a fucking genius. Your act is so funny and the special I cannot wait to watch it, plug it, have people see it. You're a fucking genius. Your act is so funny. And the special, I cannot wait to watch it, plug it, have people see it. You're the fucking best. Can I come back? Yes!

And I have to come back. Yes! Yeah, that'd be fun. Absolutely. And you were one of the first New York comics to ever invite me to their house to hang out. And I really appreciate that. You were the first seller comic to ever...

You were the first seller comic that I didn't know to make me feel welcome. Do you remember that? Yes, I wasn't sure if you remember that. You told everybody that, or you didn't tell everybody, you told my roommate that you thought I didn't like, that I overwhelmed you. Which you did, but in a nice way. You were like, I think I scared Jordan. Oh yes, I thought I did. Because you were like,

it's really good here, you're going to be good, you're going to be a good and I was like, yes. Well, because when you get there, you're very nervous. And I just like to let comics know. It helps so much. It's like, it's really good here. You're going to be good. You're going to be a good... And I was like, yes, I am. Well, because when you get there, you're very nervous. And I just like to let comics know. It helps so much. It's like, if you need a place to stay, you come talk to me. You come sit with me. I'll be your safe zone. It was so nice. That's so weird because Greg, when I got into the

cellar, he tapped on the sign that said, cellar comics only and then gave me the finger. I don't understand. Yeah, we weren't even in the cellar. We were at Ben's Pizza and I was like, sorry. Greg makes that sign with him. No. You're the best. You are the best. Thank you. I love you guys.

Wolf, thank you so much for doing this. We're going to see your band and then we'll say you're the best. I do artwork for hardcore bands and other bands. JSS1 on Instagram. JSS.one on Instagram. I will draw a picture for your hardcore band. And the banner.

We're ranking a new record if anybody cares. The banner. He also drew the my first album was the Amazing Greg Stone. You drew the art. Oh, the Spider-Man thing. Yeah. Can I tell you real quick that story about that? Yes. So Greg, he drew me and I was like come on man, that's too fat. And he looked at me like

so then he made it skinnier and then everyone was like, I mean that's too skinny Greg. And I was like, come on, man, that's too fat. And he looked at me like, so then he made it skinnier. And then everyone was like, I mean, that's too skinny, Greg. Like, he was like completely right. And I was like, he drew it right. And then I was like, it's supposed to be a little embellished. But then everyone was like, I mean, you gotta put some pounds on this. This isn't Greg, right? And I'm like, yeah,

I guess he was right. When does this come out? I have something coming out. I'm not ready to plug yet, but I have a podcast called Be Any Name With Jordan that I do with my buddy Ian Fidance. Bad name, good podcast. I'm going to be in Connecticut uh pretty soon and then i'm going

to be uh levity i'm gonna do something in uh oh comedy works in colorado may 27 20 29 and uh i forget all my dates jordanjensencomedy.com please go you know what we got coming up to july 21st live show new york city the cutting room room floor. It's going to be fucking great. We're excited. And IanFidance.com for all my dates. Comedy on State coming up. A bunch of other stuff. I'm going to be in Canada. I'm going to be in Rochester. I'm going to be in fucking here.

I'm going to be there. And I'm going to see you everywhere. Thank you for watching. We love you. Everybody say goodbye. Bye. Bye.