Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Episode 070 : Red Light Behavior W/ Steve-O

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian

Being Ian And life is shit but you're positive let's find out what it's like to live a life being in being in with jordan Oh, that's a good one. That was the best one. Oh, I scared the rats. Oh, shit. Oh, today's a big day. We have very special guests on rats.

Yes. A couple of rats. Guinevere and Richard 2. Richard 2. Welcome to Be an Ian with Jordan. This is the biggest podcast ever Because we have new rats And we have our idol, the legend Steve O I've been trying to put the emphasis on O

Because I think it's funny Steve O There's no wrong way to say it Steve O shit how good are those donuts Pretty good man I feel like that's a record For squeezing the most fat and calories into one deep fried donut yes yes are you a calorie watcher are you like a diet guy i mean i'm either on

the good side or the bad side of my diet yeah and and then right now i'm on the bad side and as i said before we started recording i i just feel like I'm scratching and clawing for a new rock bottom, which will inspire me to reach out to my friends who are in 12-step food programs and say, okay, I need help. And I go back to taking photos of everything that I eat and sending it to them. And it's super annoying for all my friends.

How fat have you gotten? I'm like what you call skinny fat. But, you know, it's. No, that's regular. Some gals really like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have one kind of and they like to rub it like a.

People tell you that so you don't kill yourself with it. Because you're weeping. You're weeping under their breasts you're like do you see i joined a gym and it's the best three days a week i go to workout classes i ride a bike everywhere and the what was that you did what was the act out there okay bicycle everywhere and the impetus of that was it someone said i'm shaped like an egg roll so i was like i gotta get rid of my egg roll there's a lot of shrimp in here egg roll doesn't sound too bad yeah yeah that just means you're barrel chested somebody said you're shaped like a barrel to me i am barrel chested yeah because i can pack a fucking wallop i mean it's cliche to say shaped like a pear that's also really like the grinch yeah the

pear yeah i haven't gotten the pear. That's why I'm hitting the bike. And I jam out to Gorilla Biscuits. Yeah, dude. And Mad Blanc on the bicycle, trapped under ice. Last night on the way home from the cellar, riding the bike, I got trapped under ice. 2007 demo.

Ripping and running. Screaming to the song Evelyn. Reality unfolds. And these two dudes with long hair come up and they're like yeah! And we all started to two-step and kind of mosh on our bikes while we were going down to Lanty. It was the best. Nice. Because he has the biggest

external speaker. He has a speaker that It's like a ghetto glass. Yeah, I would shoot him if I had a gun, I would kill him immediately. Because you gotta be loud so people know you're coming. You don't have to be loud in here though. Oh yeah, you're right. And I'm excited. You had had so much coffee and they go they go have a beer with us and i go i'm eight years sober all right but i didn't know that i could have just said no thanks bro yeah it's epic i had something later today and um it's canceled nice i'm free and clear for

the evening yeah i. I was thinking maybe getting down on some sober stuff. Dude, I'm fucking down. Like going to AA? Wow. You're not allowed to say that.

That's like one of the main things. I mean, it's not a big deal. I don't, I'm not too precious about it. But yeah, get down on some sober stuff.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If you're in AA, you're not allowed to say I'm going too precious about it. Get down with some sober stuff. Wait, wait, wait. If you're in AA, you're not allowed to say I'm going to AA? It's not that you're not allowed to say it. It's one of the traditions.

Is what? All of the traditions are based on the principle of anonymity. So you're supposed to be anonymous even for yourself. It's mostly especially for yourself. Okay, wait. So if I...

Yeah, don't feel bad or anything. I don't mind. Also, I think more people need to be open that there is a place to go. Can I just clarify? So if I'm an alcoholic and I'm like, I'm going to go to a meeting. Yes. Everybody around me would go, shh, like that? Or you're allowed to say, what is...

I mean, no, it's not, it's more of a personal preference thing. Um, every comic I know is like, I'm about to go to an AA meeting because I'm on the verge of jumping off a building. You know what I mean? Right.

But at the same time, there is a tradition where you were supposed to, uh, maintain anonymity and the level of press radio and film, because initially when a was started the idea was if you are a public figure and you talk about this and then you relapse people will go see it doesn't work see you shouldn't go that's actually you know you hear people say that a lot um am i grossly misinformed uh, if you look at the literature,

it says that, um, they were concerned. They only went by their first names. They remained anonymous because they knew that alcoholism was so prevalent that it was such just a massive problem that if they put their full names out there, they would be deluged with requests to help. And they were all professional people. They're like, we just can't, we're not going to, we can't, we can't help everybody. So we got to stay under the radar so that, so that we can actually function in our lives, which is the primary concern. When people say that it's more of a question of, um, of, uh, you know, oh, people are going to think Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't work if a high-profile person waves the flag and then relapses.

But I don't subscribe to that because I think it's much like a gym situation. You know, like if you've got somebody who loses a bunch of weight, they get in great shape. They say, you know what? I went to 24 hour fitness. Look at me. I'm in this great shape.

And then all of a sudden they become a fat slob again. And they're shaped like an egg roll. Yeah. Like a pair. Yeah. Then nobody's going to think 24 fitness doesn't work. They're just going to think, Oh,

well this guy stopped putting in the work. This're just going to think, Oh, well, this guy stopped putting in the work. This guy stopped going to 24 hour fitness. So I don't think that's the concern. What I think the concern is is that when people wave the flag and say, you know, that they're somehow trying to leverage Alcoholics Anonymous, their sobriety as like leverage it for power, property and prestige kind of, you know, they're using it as like a chip to, and once you start doing that,

you effectively tangle the wires, you know, your motivation off kilter. And that's why of of sober people, the highest rates of relapse are for people who actually work in recovery. People who are drug counselors. I worked in a sober living house and I relapsed and got fired. Yeah. Because there's so much pressure on you to be the hero.

It's not necessarily that. It's, I think, more that you go on a gig Or run for two weeks in the Midwest And you get drunk in an airport Because your sponsor didn't pick up Because you annoyed him a lot It's more that you're tangling up the wires

You know that you're Professionalizing it So you're like What are you in it for You're making money off of it It calls the motivation into question. And, uh, and I don't know. So I just, I try to keep it kind of separate and, and at the level of media, I, I just,

you know, I'd kind of leave it over there. Yeah. But I also don't shy away from it either. I'm about to join SLA. There you go. I gave her my book, it over there. Yeah. But I also don't shy away from it either. I'm about to join SLA. There you go. I gave her my book, the SLA book. Okay. This is how this podcast works.

I say something and then Ian tells a brief story about his life. No, here's the podcast. I'm going to go to SLA because I'm going to throw a break up again. And the break up. That's way more interesting than you being like, I know hardcore people and and I sometimes smoke in here, but I can't. But guess what? I'm a really cool guy, Steve-O. I'm really cool. And I think that you really like me if you could see me in my natural habitat. I identify as a sex addict, too. Do you? He's a sex addict. I'm a love addict.

There you go. Yeah. I wish I was. That'd be great. I'm sorry. It's probably you probably suffer the line gets pretty blurry it is yeah but that's what i don't i'm reading this sla book and it's like they're talking about love addicts they're talking about sex addicts and they seem like such different people like one is just like i'm gonna go get any pussy i can and the other one is like i'm gonna have a long relationship with somebody that i cling on to forever and i'm just now reading like how those two things are the same. And it's just all validation. I mean, exactly. It's validation. Guys are trying to crush as much beef as possible to

make up for their shortcomings. And it's just so counterintuitive to think that you're, you're being this promiscuous because you want to, you know, increase your value. But what you're doing to try to increase your value is bringing about the opposite results. Yeah, totally. It's the circles and the,

the values and what brings you towards them and away from them. Bottom line behaviors, top line behaviors. And I've been having some bottom lines lately. Yeah. Emphasis on bottom. Only for Emma. Because he's doing gay shit.

Okay. All right. Yes. Steve gets up and leaves. He's like, okay, cool. No, I'm not sure. I'm interested in that. Like, when I got sober in 2008.

Hell yes. And reasonably shortly after that, a couple years after that, I went off and started touring stand-up comedy clubs. And from the beginning, recognizing that I am, Steve-O is known for the jackass stuff. And a lot of people kind of looked sideways at Steve-O known for the jackass stuff. And that, you know, a lot of people kind of looked sideways at Steve-O doing standup comedy and comedy club. Um, it, it was important to me to, uh,

and kind of a grassroots promotional effort, like at the end of every single show and every single comedy club, I said, I'm not going anywhere until I take a photo with every single show and every single comedy club i said i'm not going anywhere until i take a photo with every single one of you guys that wants one and i would turn every comedy club into a full-on meet and greet and and stick around take every photo because i felt confident that everybody i wanted to send everybody home with a photo that they could post on their social media to tell all of their friends that they were pleasantly surprised that Steve-O's show was better than they expected. And I think that that was effective because I kept going around the circuit for 11 years without ever stopping and ultimately graduated to theaters.

And that was great. But I bring this to you because it was kind of a dual purpose operation with the meet and greets. It was grassroots promotion, but it was also a glorified audition to identify who I would act out sexually with. Yes. That's what Ian does every show.

No, that's not what I do. Quit throwing me under the bus. You got a broken pussy. I do. I have a lump inside my vagina. We're quite worried about it. Yeah, and she wanted me to feel it. But then you got excited about it.

So I said no. I said, let's go see a movie. I said, there's... And I said, as your friend, I'll do it. And then once I said, I'll get gloves, she goes, never mind, forget it. I said, there's a lump inside my vagina that I'm really freaking out about. He said, do you want me to feel it? And then once I said, I'll get gloves, she goes, never mind. Forget it. There's a lump inside my vagina that I'm really freaking out about. He said, do you want me to feel it? And I said, yes,

would you? And then he's like, then he's starting to get excited about it. So I drop it. I come down here playing with the rats and he walks down. He goes, all right, let's do it. I'll do it. Well, I told her I'm going to wash my hands before I smoke a cigarette. I'll be a martyr and I'll feel your vagina. No. Sorry, I stepped behind you and said, let's go.

And then Ethan goes, that's not a good idea. And Ian goes, shut up, Ethan. And that's, and then Ethan goes, I stepped behind you and said, let's go. And then Ethan goes, that's not a good idea. And Ian goes, shut up, Ethan. And that's when I was like, no, we're not doing this.

What are you going to say? You're going to get a lump on your vagina. If you could feel my lump on my vagina, you'll pop a little chub, freak me out. Don't give yourself that much. You would dude. It's right in the opening.

It was medical and sterile. And I kept saying, are you sure? This is how much of a sex addict he is. Even just a finger is enough for him. She's playing a game. I said, as a friend, if you want. And you go, please, please.

And I go, hey, if you want. And then the second I said, let me get a glove. I'm ready. I was excited. You know, to help a friend. Ex. There you go. Yeah, so I was just. To help a friend. X. There you go.

I was just on a tear. Yeah. It felt like a bad look. Really? Are you married now? You have a ring? It's an engagement ring. Nice. Congratulations.

married now you have a ring i have a it's an engagement ring nice congratulations i think it's it's uh absurd and disrespectful that our society thinks only a woman should indicate that she's taken yeah that's a very good point you should get a big diamond on that yeah i mean what like what like oh we we get engaged now now you since we're engaged should indicate that you're off the market. But I'm just going to go ahead and business as usual. I'm going to get my fill before the wedding when my ball and chain is attached. People think I'm engaged or married because of mine, but I'm just half gay.

Nobody thinks that ever. Nobody looks at you and goes, I think he's engaged. I think somebody loves him every day. This fucking bitch. I think somebody's at home waiting for him. One more and I'm going to kill your rat. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll kill your cat. No, don't. Joke's off. See, I was 35 when I started touring comedy clubs. And when I got to 38, I was like, it started to occur to me that as I approached 40, that just trying to hook up with as many chicks as possible was not the path to being happy. No. Can I ask you something?

Is there ever, because I've been thinking about this a lot. What if you just hooked up with so many that you got it out of your system and then you were ready? That's like throwing so many logs on the fire that it just goes out. Okay. Okay. Okay. Nice.

Just way too many. Yeah. And fondling the logs. This will start it up. Surely this will. I keep getting splinters on my hands with these logs. You also don't smoke enough crack to get it out of your system. Right.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. of your system. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So how did you meet your current fiance at a show? I recognized that I had a lot of work to do to preemptively become the man who she deserves. That's awesome. Knowing that I had never met the love of my life. That was my mantra. I said, I'm going to do the work.

Oh, so you put that out in the universe. Yeah, initially. Initially, I said, you know what? Like, you know, I'm going to be 40. I had this joke, and it's kind of mean, but I said, you know, I'm about to be 40. You know, like, do I really want to be 50 years old, like physically falling apart, trying to hump everything that moves. I don't want, I don't want to turn into Pauly Shore. Yeah.

Yeah. That's so good. And, um, and so I'd swore off, uh, hooking up with chicks on no more pussy. I'm not fooling around. Did you do like a 90, 90 hardcore? I could not stop. Yeah.

Yeah. My first comedy special was, uh, all of my, my, uh, most colorful groupie sex stories. And,

and it, it went into me trying to stop and I couldn't like, uh, I remember like, and it was all just true stories there. There was a point when I swore off pussy and, and there I was minding my own business at the titty bar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This, this, this, uh,

little cute dancer with huge boobs came running over and stuck her ass in my face. And she literally had my autograph tattooed on her butt cheek. No way. Yeah. How do you not fuck her? Exactly. How are we going to turn down a piece of ass with your name on it? Quick, chirpy Steve-O in my head.

Yeah. It was just a comedy of errors, and I ended up getting into therapy, and then my therapist said, you need to go to sex addict rehab, and I did that. How long was that? It was an outpatient program that lasted two weeks.

Okay, so you would come and go at night. You could stay at home. Yeah, it was an outpatient program that lasted two weeks. Okay, so you would come and go at night. You could stay at home. Yeah, yeah. It was an outpatient. IOP, intensive outpatient. Oh, I've been there. Where they basically just stop you from doing it, or you go to workshops all day?

No, you go and work. Yeah, and you do like workbooks and stuff during the day. Childhood trauma, all this kind of work. books and stuff during the day yeah childhood trauma all this kind of work and and they recommended that um that you they recommended a period of celibacy like 30 to 90 days was the suggestion and the idea was that by being completely celibate meaning that elvis does not leave the building even if i'm on my own. I love Elvis. His penis name's Elvis too. I love Elvis. That it rewires your brain somehow.

Question. Yeah. Did you also abstain from PNM, porn and masturbation? Well, celibacy means like 100%. I did that and it was so, it was, dude, I've told you, I had a box of tissues that I went through a week of just crying and feeling everything of like, cause I wanted to like get in DMS and like flirt and dah, dah,

dah. And I would only go to men's meetings. I stayed away. And it was like the hardest fucking thing I've ever done. Yeah. I had porn. Uh, what would be in my inner circle? Meaning red light behavior, like, like behavior, which constitutes a relapse.

Yeah. What, what, do love addicts also have to abstain or do they? I mean, here's the thing, and I'm not sure about SLAA, but I think that it operates with, um, the same circle plan, which is effectively a circle plan is, uh, how each addict defines their own sobriety like with with alcohol and drugs it's very simple black and white you just don't do it you just you don't have it you're better off without it easy but with food and sex you need it you you can't like just cut it out of your life you you just are sexual and you have to eat. So with these programs, it's more about taking a new approach to it, a new and healthier approach to sex.

And so for that reason, you define your own sobriety in SAA. You start with, you make lists. There's red light behavior. This is the inner circle, which is like the bullseye. Inside the inner circle, like this is the most destructive behavior. You gotta stop that. And to do it constitutes a relapse.

And for some people, inner circle red light behavior would be porn you know for other sex addicts like porn's not a big deal you know um like for me it was like i would i'd go to like the banana massage parlor you know like that's that's that's that's no go you gotta that was my Sunday night Yeah But I okayed it in my brain Because I said I'll jerk myself off Oh wow

Yeah What a waste of money Well she was Tracing fingers and touching stuff But I was like I got it from here Wow So in my mental gymnastics

I was like This is alright It's not as bad That's just a criminal waste of money. Yeah, dude. I know. It was a bad idea. I regret it deeply.

Right. He's really bad with money. He bought a Delta One ticket for like $4,000 or something and is still paying it off. I am paying it off because I did the installment plan on my Amex card. I went so crazy after the sex addict rehab like i basically stuntified it and uh i went for more than a year entire year of 2014 i did not blow a load i actually went for a total period of exactly 431 days without ever blowing a load what was your first load like everybody

asked this question it was it was very underwhelming yeah really yeah it was i remember it being like quick quite watery not particularly um large that's good you didn't get a reward right and it didn't even feel that good that was the other is ass kicker, but I took a photo of my tummy and I texted that photo to my men's therapy group as well as the therapist who's a woman. And everybody was just utterly, I would say shocked, but they were just deeply disappointed in me. Yeah. Yeah.

Why? Because the load was so bad? You just took a photo of a load on your stomach and texted it to our female therapist. Yeah. You stupid asshole. Because you wanted to be accountable? You wanted her to have track of him? Or did you want to be like,

see what you guys can build up to? You could have just done the classic Steve-O like this and click send it. Yeah. But as I sit here today, I have six years of sobriety in the sex program wow and what does that what does that mean that means that i've not uh been in the inner circle like as i've defined my sexual sobriety which is really pretty basic just no sexual contact outside of my relationship relationship that's awesome now i have it that congrats by the way

that's like if i dm you and i'm like hey what's up i'm not even gonna see it you're not gonna see it i got i got a guy in my dms like uh who will alert me i got i got it yeah i don't i don't i don't look at dms i try not to even look at comments if i'm honest like i don't i don't look at DMs. That's great. I try not to even look at comments, if I'm honest. Like, I don't want to see comments. They hurt my feelings. When you did the 431 days. Just a year and three months. Yes. Did you miss your daddy?

Sorry, I'm just trying to predict what you're about to say. Did you have childhood memories come up in an overwhelming amount where whenever you would come that was you reminded of your father go ahead sorry i'm glad i didn't check your pussy lump out um when when you know yeah when i um when you uh i you, when you did this, were you talking to women? Were you flirting? Because these are all my slippery slopes of looking at porn or flirting. It's what?

Yellow light behavior. The middle circle. There's the inner circle, which is the red light. Then there's the middle circle, which is kind of the in-between band. the red light then there's the middle circle which is kind of the the in-between band that's yellow light behavior which means it does not constitute a relapse but we want to recognize that it's dangerous behavior which we got to be very careful around well how do you get rid of the shame of doing that behavior and having that shame not lead to red light yeah i i'll tell you what I did. I came out of sex addict rehab, my two week outpatient program, and I had like comedy club dates on my calendar. And I'm like, well, dude, like I'm a dead duck.

I'm like, if I think I'm going to maintain my sexual sobriety and go out on the road, like it's not going to happen. I reached out for somebody to come on tour with me and serve as a sober companion, so to speak. Dude, I have my buddies who open for me share hotel rooms with

me. That's cheap. Go do laundry. I am cheap. But also, go do laundry because I got the waitress coming over and I shouldn't do it. I can't stop. Oh my God. You did fuck that waitress.

And then you stripped her here. He has a problem. How do we fix it? Get the taser. Like I started out with, uh, like, uh, an actual sober companion guy who was like for the weekend, like I paid this guy like 1500 bucks. I was losing my mind. It drove from LA to San Francisco for the shows.

And like the guy's like showing me his acting like, Oh no. Like, like while I'm driving, what a fucking punisher. Jamming his phone in my face. I could see his acting real. And I'm just like,

and I'm paying this guy 1500 bucks. Like, ah, and so that dump them out of the car. Now they're kind of a false alarm and then i reached out to this third guy and i said hey man i've got uh you know like i still had my sobriety intact and i reached out to this guy um his name's scott i said hey man like you know can you come with me to tennessee and just help me like not act out and bless his heart this guy scott he said

yeah man totally dude it's just like with the flights i'm just kind of tight on cash you know like like dude i got you oh he was thinking like i don't know if i can afford it but i'll be there oh what a sweet that's awesome what a bro right yeah so we went um so i think it was chattanooga some comedy club there we went out there i'm like i'm like i got i got you and i said furthermore um normally what i do at the comedy clubs is i get an employee of the club to sell my t-shirts and my books and i give them like uh you know a bucket say i have two like two bucks right it's 20 bucks for what what i sell and i led two bucks so right? It's 20 bucks for what, what I sell. And I led two bucks. So 10%,

I let the, so you do that. Like, you know, that, that way you can, that way you can actually come home with some cash. Yeah.

And then two at, at when I'm doing my meet and greet after the show, like I'm right next to the merge table. There's my buddy. Yeah. Yeah. He's a professional. Yes.

Yes. Anybody hands me and slips me a phone number i hand it to him he tosses it like we shared a hotel room yeah and it was so rad because at the time i the first fucking weekend scott says dude you don't have a credit card swiper like you only have t-shirts and books no hats no and like this dude built my fucking merchandising empire that's all yeah where we went on to turn every fucking comedy club into a bonafide fucking flea market that's awesome oh that's great steve-o sunglasses steve-o pens steve-o socks yeah i mean more fucking merch than you could even believe and uh just keep now like steve-o hot sauce the posters dvds like it's ridiculous and um scott went on to become

my my business partner oh yeah that's amazing yeah he built my merchandising empire with me he's heavily featured on all three of my comedy specials is he a comic or just a buddy? he's not a comic no he's so cool if anything I gotta get better friends

I need that with food I just want to hire a tiny little Chinese man who doesn't speak English so he can't talk to me to just hit me every time I eat something that I don't need. You know, that's exactly where I am. Just a little one of those drumsticks that don't make sound. I can do that. It is not food for me. Oh, I can't.

The only one I can do. Scott fills in my gaps. Like I'm very creative. I'm not administrative. And he's just exactly the opposite. That's the best. God, I want to find a fiance that has a handler to make sure he never has sex that rules

follow him around rip all the numbers out of his hand and sleep in bed with him snuggle him but don't snuggle him too well that's 100% it and I I'm struck by how not cool it is in our society to identify as a sex addict. Right.

Like we've come very far with alcoholics. And like if you're an alcoholic, you know, I'm sober. Like that's even kind of cool these days. You know, like there's no problem there. But it's very stigmatized to identify as a sex addict. you know like there's no problem there but it's very stigmatized to identify as a sex addict and i submit that i would much rather be the guy who identifies as a sex addict and and like candidly works really hard and cares very much to maintain my integrity to do the right thing to tell the truth and to as opposed to not identify as a sex I can just be a scumbag yeah yes agree especially if you're the stand-up thing I mean

the stand-up I have so many friends who just bang out whoever and I'm like you have no idea what kind of crazy girl in two days is going to be butthurt. Do you have your fucking CDL? Because you were driving this fucking bus over me over and over. Oh, I just looked at you. But it's my other friends too. Well, you know, and it's like in comedy, these girls, they're so chuckle fucks are usually women who have like some sort of personality

disorder. Chuckle fucks. That's like the skateboarding equivalent of a pro hoe. Dude, pro hoes are hot, though. They're what? They're hot. Chuckle fucks are not hot. They're like fag hags.

They're like, they have like a hard fat to them. I don't know. Hard fats are hot. I mean, I think that, I don't think you can make that kind of a general statement. That's what I'm saying. Fuck you. Pro hoes, I feel like they usually skateboard, which means they're kind of like punky and

hot. See, she wants to be a pro-ho. There's skate betties and then there's pro-ho's. What's a skate betty? A skate betty's a girl who skates. Oh, okay. That's what I'm thinking of. Pro-ho. What's pro-ho? Pro-ho is just a girl who wants to hook up with a professional skateboarder. Like a professional skateboarder

groupie. Okay, okay. Like they'll go to the competitions. Like a professional skateboarder groupie. Yeah. Okay, okay. Like they'll go to the competitions. Like a chuckle fuck, I presume, is a comedy club groupie. Yeah. But I stay away from chuckle fucks. Were you there when they were trying to chuckle fuck us on?

When they were chuckle fucking, they go, I've seen you five times and I really look good in a hotel bed. I'm like, have a good night. I'm busy because I want to stay away from that. Yeah. You brought a woman off the street the other night who was a stripper

with a little dog. That was not the other night. That was a couple months ago and I did not hook up with her and I said, I'm trying to do a thing right now where I don't have sex with anyone. I hope you respect that.

I said that to her. And you said, you did say that to her and then I said what you said. You brought in, somebody rejected you. So you grab a stripper off the sidewalk with a little dog who was the cutest dog I've ever seen. Then you go to the bathroom and I go, hey, he's trying really hard not to have sex right now.

And she goes, I'm not going to fuck him. And then you go. That's not true. You have a selective fantasy brain. If I heard you correctly, you explained, you defined your boundaries. Yes. After I did. In a very healthy way. You defined your boundaries with the stripper as you brought her into your hotel room.

I'm not supposed to be doing this. You don't usually do this. It's the same thing. It's the same thing we do at the Donut Tour. Like, you are bad. Yeah. Hey, everybody. It's the same thing we do at the Donut Tour. Like, you are bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, everybody. It's Ian here.

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Living in America. Right. It's good fun, man. And I did, I really, really believe in the Harvard happiness study like any what is that what is that uh they've done long-term studies on happiness and what contributes to quality of life and longevity and and being in a solid healthy relationship staying married having a good marriage is like the pinnacle of really

for quality of life yeah and for me i i above all else i i identify as an attention whore like at my core i got to be the center of attention you know i'll do anything for attention and that makes it paper cut the sides of your mouth I think about it all the time and that makes it very problematic for me to be confronting middle age and ultimately becoming old

because in our society being old is it's a fucking party foul to be old especially to be old. Yeah. And there's especially, and to be an old single dude that you go to a family function and people are like,

uncle Steve doesn't have a wife. And you're like, uh, yeah, but I've been trying to reclaim the word bachelor. Doesn't it? Doesn't it make you feel better that all your friends are every time I get worried.

Cause I'm like, I'm a woman, I'm 32. I'm about to be put out to pasture. you're so young thank you so much but i always think about it as i'm like oh my friends are aging like the same like everybody all of your jackass buddies are also the same understood understood but the thing about uh old people is that they serve as a reminder of our mortality and for the most part in our society nobody wants to think about their mortality it's like la la la la blinders on don't want and i don't want to think about how i'm going to be dead and so to see an old person it makes people uncomfortable

and they just want that old person just out of their sight line. Well, which is shuttle them off to a nursing home, get them out of my fucking face. But I don't want to look at old people. They're a burden. They don't think like me, I,

which is why I think it's so gross that so many people are getting Botox so young and everybody wants to elongate life and they're so afraid of looking old. And I think being meanwhile, you date women who have only exclusive. Sorry. OK, go ahead. You date the hottest. This is what we always say. Go ahead. Yeah. And and what do I say at the end of the day? What I want is I want to be old with someone that I love and I want to lay in bed holding hands like otters do. And I deeply desire desire that but my sex stuff gets in the

way of that and and i yearn for that and i think that being in love and in a committed relationship is one of the greatest things because it is a drug that you're getting and it's it's what we deeply desire i feel like in our dna yeah i I mean, I could not agree more. And for me to be old and like nobody wants to look at the old guy, but I want to be the center of attention. It's just like a gnarly catch-22 like shitty situation that like scares me a lot. And so it motivated me more and more to find a way to be in a healthy relationship and a life partner who will care about me when it all goes away. But I think there's an importance of embracing the age and everything that comes with it, which is why I love having my lawn chair out front. Because I've always I've we've talked about it it before about like, what would your perfect day be? And I always had this idea of like getting up in the morning, getting my coffee, sitting up front, reading a paper and I've never done it. So that's like one of my top

line behaviors. Like my days are better when I sit in my chair, I'm saying hello, I'm smoking my cigarette, you know? And, and I love embracing my age because with age comes wisdom. And I think people, what are you laughing at? I just think it's funny. I just think that it's funny that you're embracing your age because it is, you do live like a child and you date 22 year olds. It is just ironic. Ethan, help me, please. It's slightly ironic.

I'm just saying. But I've told you, you're jealous because you're never going to be that young again, you old hag. What do you think of that? I just think it's funny. It's just saying. But I've told you over and over. You're jealous because you're never going to be that young again, you old egg. What do you think of that? I just think it's funny. It's just like. But I'm telling you the truth of what I desire and what I'm trying to go towards. We get in so many fights about plastic surgery. And I'm always like, I hate plastic surgery.

And you're always like, you're just an old bitch. And then you date these women. Because you say I date the other. Steve-O is here and he has a special. And I'm excited for it. I had a conversation on my podcast with Kevin Smith, the director. He's great. And I was explaining to him about how I'm just so self-conscious about getting older and so like scared of being old and

everything that I just articulated to you guys. And he just fucking pushed back. Kevin Smith said, no, dude, I, I, I, I gotta push back. He says, he says, I, I, I think there's a bunch of people who are like properly old and managed to stay super edgy and super cool. Like Civ. He said George Carlin right there on the wall. George Carlin. He said, I second picture you, Steve-O, being like a George Carlin, you know, like an edgy, cool, like old dude. And I really I grabbed onto that.

I grabbed onto that. And I want to onto that. I grabbed onto that. And I want to thank Kevin Smith for saying that. It's still, like, I'm still gripped by fear. There's not a huge amount of, like, there's no role models for old people. Especially I will say, as a woman, there are

so few with women. I mean, there's, like, you can think of Judy Dench. I can think of, like, you can think of, you can, I can think of like, but even with like standup comics who are older ladies, they still have a glamor. Like there's a little bit of like a glamor. And then it's like this,

like, you know, they're still trying to hold onto some youth. I can think of Patty Smith. It was Joan Rivers. And then Joan Rivers was effectively dethroned by Kathy Griffin. Right. But Joan Rivers still held on to the hot thing. I mean, like

if you're aging like a... Yeah, yeah. She had lots of surgery. Yeah, but that's a problem. Joan Rivers was like the plastic surgery equivalent of Michael Jackson. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Well, what about Phyllis Diller? I just mean somebody

who goes with it and stays punk. I think the only one I have is like... Patti Smith. Patti Smith. And probably the woman who was in Three Billboards.

What's her name? Ooh. You know what I'm talking about? Not a ringing endorsement. Yeah, exactly. Wait, who's three? Or Tilda Swinson, too. The one who was in

Three Billboards. You know who it is. The Fargo lady? Yeah, the Fargo lady. Yeah, she's badass you know who it is Frances she's awesome and my mother I'm not mad at her but there's not very many and it also is like

pretty great is it Frances Steven I gotta acknowledge that I feel for women. I mean, it's so much like... It's way worse. I'm crying about it. It's not okay for me to get old.

I'm steve-o. It's like, hello, asshole. Like, women have it way harder. Well, I think also, too, it's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy because I was talking to a friend of mine who's, you know, very, you know, for lack of a better term famous

and very in the public thing and she constantly emma yeah no well yeah but no um like getting surgeries and botox and everything i'm like you have a chance to to break that stereotype and break that chain and that idea that like women have to look and she's like no because i'm afraid if i do i'll lose a bunch of stuff. And so it's like you, you have a chance to show. I know. I know. I'm doing it.

I just don't like hearing you proselytize about it while you're banging out these Botox. But you are an idiot because I'm on your team. I'm just saying I don't want to be doing that. I'm trying to not do that. I'm just saying hard. And you need to acknowledge that. I feel like with men, there are people that you can look to and be like, that's a really cool, edgy old guy.

Where with women, it inevitably comes this. Every horror movie, the bad character is an old bitch. That's all it is. It's always an old lady, an old witch. Barbarian. Barbarian. It's always that. I can think of a bunch of horror movies where the villain is not an old woman.

So many, though. Like, if it's a scary haunting thing, it's The Conjuring, Barbarian, Witch. What was the one I just saw? I mean, the Mount Rushmore of horror villains is Jason, Michael Myers. Freddy Krueger. Young men. They're not men. Well, there aren't the young scare.

They're so old and gross. They have to wear masks. Okay. Well, this is true, but as a woman, I'm representing women here. No,

but you're great. Like, like you were, if I were to say the Mount Rushmore of female horror movie villains, I got every witch in female horror movie villains. Like every witch in every Disney movie ever made. All right. But Disney gives such a false perception because also there's princesses.

What? So it makes their old man. Disney's fucked up. Yeah. I read my brief time as a student at the University of Miami, I wrote this paper about just how fucked up Disney was. Yeah. Like the little mermaid. She's not even allowed to talk.

Yeah. She has to give up the beef without saying a word. And then they have this acute song. She don't got a lot to say. I mean, dude, that's so messed up. She has to choose between walking or speaking. She only gets one. She can't have both.

Beauty and the Beast, it's like this girl's trapped unless she is in love with an ugly, disgusting beast man. Sleeping Beauty is asleep. Sleeping Beauty is fucking asleep. That's sexual. She's sleeping. She's asleep. She just accepts a million men around her

at all times who bombard her home. Cinderella, if your fucking foot fits in this shoe. That's like one of the more like mellow ones. Aladdin, I will not like you until you're a fucking prince, you little riffraff street rat.

Aladdin has so many. The rapey stuff with Jafar, it's my favorite thing to jerk off to, but it is not good for society. Did you see the Barbie movie? I didn't, but I heard that every dude I know who saw it, I heard them say it's actually really good. Yes, me too.

Every guy I know loved it. I hated it. I'm down to watch it. I watched it. It's not a priority. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hated it so much because it was the whole moral of the story was telling people that Barbie is this icon or this like idealized icon that we'll never achieve. And then they go and showing you that is Margot Robbie, who looks like a Barbie.

And we're all like, oh, God, she does exist. And she has to do that for marketing. They're not going to have a fucking burn victim. They could sell Margot Robbie, maybe get to a reasonable weight because we're trying to tell people that they can be a reasonable weight. No, I agree. reasonable weight because we're trying to tell people that they can be a reasonable weight. No, I agree. So you're not criticizing the Barbie movie in the same way as the far right.

What are they saying? They were saying that. Oh, fat isn't beautiful and stuff. No, that it was just man bashing. No, I hated it because it was offensive because I grew up a very fat girl playing with little skinny Barbies. And what I told myself is this could never be a person, not in a million years. And then I watched that movie and she was being like, that's not a real person. I'm like, you're Margot Robbie. You are a Barbie and you're the one proselytizing that women should be all shapes and sizes. Fuck yourself. That's how I felt. There you go. May I say, though, and, you know, we joke around and you've been joking at me the whole time and not being serious, but I'd like to be serious for a second.

No, you are fucking dope. You're cool. You're hot. You know, all these like flaws that you're like, well, I'm old and this and that,

like you have a chance. I don't think I'm old. I'm just going to get old. Well, you are old. And I think a lot of people look to you to go oh shit that's cool if i'm just authentically myself and i think that's more important than trying to fit this role of what people want of like well i must be young forever it's like i i would be so down with someone with like wrinkles

and gray hairs if they were like no this is who i am fuck it i don't care so much easier said than done so much easier said than done. So much easier said than done. You never fuck them. You're doing it. What do you mean? I never fuck you. Yes. Yeah, it's so much easier said than done.

And you can find a moment where you really do believe that and then it'll just leave you. Yeah. Yeah, when you see a sweet pair of 24-year-old titties. Yeah, I mean, it's tough. Tits are so nice.

It's tough. I know. Is your fiance much younger than you? tit is. Yeah, I mean it's tough. It's tough. Is your fiance much younger than you? 13 years. Yeah. Fuck you. I'm saying fuck you. How old are you? 38.

I'm 49. My girl is 36. Cool. And when did you meet her? Shortly before she turned 30. We've been together for 7 years. That's 36. Cool. And when did you meet her? Shortly before she turned 30. We've been together for seven years. That's great. That's all.

Is she super hot with Botox and lip fillers? She's attractive. Okay. Yeah. Oh, you have to say she's super hot, actually. Yeah, you're right. She's super hot. What's he going to do?

What's he going to answer you? But is she super hot? How does she feel about aging? She's a lot better about it than I am. Really? Because she has the, she probably has less of the thing that we all three have, which is like the showman.

We have to stand up and present ourselves and be like, love me. And then somebody younger slips in and they're like, now I'm the cool tomboy chick. And you're like, no, wait, but I'm still cool, right? Yeah. Yeah. My girl's epic. That's why the new Jackass movie made me cry

because it was all of you guys. I was crying. It was all of you guys doing your thing. And then you were bringing in this new group. Yeah. And it was this, it was so moving. And then the way that it was like, I don't, it was very. That's how I felt about the new Ghostbusters.

It was so, you guys did that so well. The way that you guys all would trash each other's bodies and then take care of each other emotionally afterwards was so awesome. And then you had these newbies coming in to like learn that, that that was like the culture was to like, yeah, you're going to run your friend into the ground, but then you're going to be like, okay

buddy, quick check in, you know. It was awesome. Yeah. It'd be cool if you checked in. Fuck you. My girl, her name is Lux that's an awesome name where is she from? her real name is Courtney her real name is Courtney

she doesn't like that she goes by Lux oh cool she works in production as a production designer art director. She works in the art department. She did the production design

for this new special I'm promoting. Oh, no shit. And the new special is, overall, a love story about our relationship. No way. Yeah, it's called Steve-O's Bucket List. Yeah. And, you know, it's my third comedy special the first of them

was uh it was just what happened on the stage the second special was what happened on the stage and in post-production i edited in footage of the stories i was telling so it was like multimedia in that the stand-up was illustrated by interstitial footage edited in and then for the third hour i was like man i want to bring the multimedia component on the road and i want to stop telling old stories so create new material create new footage i was like man i'm gonna do the most fucked up shit ever and and the bucket list was these ideas that had been i'd been sitting on they were never supposed to happen they were so fucked up and and i was like i'm gonna do it like the perfect example of them of the of like how ridiculous it was was skydiving we went skydiving i i always

said for like 20 years i was like if i ever go skydiving. We want skydiving. I always said for like 20 years, I was like, if I ever go skydiving, I'm going to be completely naked. And furiously jacking off with another man strapped to my back. And I'll time it so that when I fall out of the airplane, I'm simultaneously ejaculating all over the place. What? I called this idea skyjacking. And like I said, never thought I was going to do it. Did you do it?

Yeah. Is it on? Yeah, that's... What do you mean you did it? How did it not flap and hurt? How did it not go soft as soon as you were jumped off the plane? Well, because I jacked myself

to the point of no return. And then I gave the sign and I'm like, get the fuck out of the plane. And on the way out of the plane is when I was blasting. So wait, did you take a helper? I had a breakfast

of four Cialis pills. Hell yeah. Were you watching porn on the plane? This was my exception. It's been years since I watched porn. Why didn't you bring Lux who just... That's not a bad idea.

She wasn't... I didn't even think of that. She wouldn't have wanted to do that on camera. Ian was hard on our plane just because he had a guy strapped to him. He didn't need anything at all. He was sexually harassing this poor man. No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. He was like an army veteran

and you were like, where do I put my hands? I was excited because he was so angry. As soon as he heard your gay voice come out, he was like, I hate this. I hate everything about this. I was like, so how long you been doing it? And he was like, sit back into my lap and you were like, oh, don't mind if I do.

Don't have to tell me twice. I really like skydiving except for the slow recovery. I like dropping. But then when you pull the shoe and you're just stuck in a bad hang with somebody, that's what I didn't like. You know what I mean? I liked that part. Because I had the guy who you took on your first trip doing merch or doing AA stuff. That's who I had on the way down.

Like, I used to be an actor. I used to work. And I was like, get me down. I'm going to unstrap. I'm going to unstrap. It was crazy. That's really funny. Um, so yeah, everything on my bucket list was super, super messed up. Like I had a, I had a medical professional steal general anesthesia drugs from the hospital and administer them to me through an IV while I was riding a bicycle around. That's pretty funny. That's awesome. Crazy. Do you know what an epidural is? Yeah. Four inch needle in your spine. Yeah. They inject a drug into your spinal cavity for childbirth. Well, it's just, it's just a pair. They'll do that for an amputation of your leg or something like you won't

feel shit. And, um, so the guy stole the drugs, injected them into my spine, pulls out the needle and it's, I fucking take off running to see how far I'm going to make it. And your legs turned into jello.

Yeah. How far did you, how'd you not bust your teeth out? Um, it's good. It's a good question. I just collapsed like a baby giraffe being born. Did you wear a helmet?

I did. But that was mostly so that the GoPro and the helmet would have... Oh my God. Yeah, it's high level stuff, man. Everything on the bucket list is super high level. I did it all. I incorporated it all into a uh fucking power hour and after each bit i pay off the bit with the footage of the forbidden stunt

happening and the the order of the bucket list it goes in descending order of lux's approval and support oh that's awesome that's a really good idea and it ends with the one that she was like don't do this it's like how my relationship like a like really began the first item on the list i attribute to being the moment that i discovered that lux was the one everybody else was running for their lives, barfing. Lux didn't fucking budge. She just moved in to get a better shot. Wow. Yeah. And I'm like,

that's the one. That's awesome. And then the second one, it's like so and then I asked her to marry me. So like that begs the question, like are we going to have kids or not? Fuck no. That's then the next bit. What was your stunt for that one?

The vasectomy Olympics. Oh my God. Yeah. What is that? We need to watch this right now. I heard a joke when I was a kid. The joke was, what's the definition of macho? Uh-huh.

It's a man who jogs home from his own vasectomy. Huh. I heard it when I was 12. I didn't even know what a vasectomy was. But I was like, fucking A, man. I want to be macho. I'm going to do that. Except I'm going to do way more than jog.

So I'm fucking galloping on a horse bareback. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no. How big did they swell? It wasn't how big they swole. It was just how, like, identical to a plum they looked. Really? Like, the whole bag was like yeah you could put it side by side like you know like a plum and my balls and it's like my friend jammed his dick

into a girl's taint on accident like he was fucking for behind and just jammed it and he comes in we used to live together and he was like can you look at this and he pulls his balls out and he was like, can you look at this? And he pulls his balls out and it was truly, I was like, I thought he was holding a plum. Like it was a deep purple. His dick was fine though. The balls really take the brunt of everything. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah, didn't that hurt flying out of a plane

with your sack flapping around? I don't remember any of that really hurting. Really? Yeah, he must've been hard because doesn't your balls go up when you're hard, right? Or when you're cold? No, no, no, not when you're hard, right? Or when you're cold. No, no, no. Not when you're hard. That's more when you're cold. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I mean, dude, I consider

skyjacking to be the crown jewel of my entire career. That's incredible. And I'll tell you, because it was so challenging to get the company that was down to have this happen under their banner. Yeah. To get the guy who was cool with being strapped to my back.

Like, to get the coverage from a production perspective. Yeah. Logistically, to pull off the thing. And figure out where the cum goes. Right. It goes into that dude's face. I'm pretty sure. It was just so challenging.

And given that my career at this point is all of my careers melded into one, like, you know, jackass meat stand up like like at the highest level. Yeah. Like the layers of skyjacking. There's so many layers. It's such like a fucking epic saga. saga and i believe that it's testimony to how far i've come developing the craft of storytelling and stand-up for me to tell a theater with more than a thousand people in it tell you what guys i'm going to show you a video of me jacking off to completion to completion in the sky you're gonna watch me blow a load and like you know like that and they're all like yeah right but like that's the thing is if you just said okay now we're gonna

watch this people would be fucking really weirded out yeah but to tell the story right in a way that makes it permit not only permissibleissible for a thousand people to watch but to watch with joy and like I really strongly believe I say this after the thing that like I'm might be the only guy in the world who could

like get away with that I don't even think Knoxville could get away with that I think they'd be like this should be Steve-O this is gross with you doing this nothing against Knoxville that get away with that. I think they'd be like, this should be Steve-O. This is gross with you doing this. Yeah, and like I think, nothing against Knoxville. That's just not,

that's not his lane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so it's just like, I really fucking raised the bar for crazy. And I'm torn between being ashamed and really fucking proud

that the vignettes in this special literally caused people to fucking pass out cold. Really? Yeah. As soon as I started the tour, it became evident that the vasectomy video was causing some people to fucking pass out in the audience. And when? The worst part about it. I fainted from jackass when I was younger. I don't remember hearing anybody faint. I'm a fainter. out in the audience. And when? The worst part about it I fainted from jackass when I was younger.

I fainted so many times. I don't remember hearing anybody faint. From, I'm a fainter. I faint really easily. Then, yeah, you should set up a camera when you watch my special.

Oh, that's the thing. When does it come out? When does this come out? Ethan, the 24th. Oh, there you go. It's already out.

Oh, November 14th. Dude, let's watch the special of a watch party watching the special. And June 9th, November 14th. Dude, let's watch the special. We'll have a watch party watching the special. And dude, yeah, I love it. Yeah.

I love it. Hell yeah. And I'll faint. It'll be funny to watch. I made one woman faint. Let's practice right now. I made one woman faint with my stand up and it made me feel great. Five people passed out at the table. There was two shows which were combined into one. Did you know that was, did you anticipate that?

So you had medical staff? Yeah, we always had medical staff at every fucking show on the tour. I mean, maybe not, but like medical ambulances showed up. Because what would happen, and it was pretty tragic, is that the guy who's going to pass out, and it's mostly guys. Yeah. The guy's going to pass out, like finds himself feeling kind of queasy he thinks oh man i don't feel right fuck i need to get fresh air so then he gets him out of his seat

he's walking around to get fucking fresh air and is standing while he passes out so he fucking falls down and hits his head you know like he's in the bathroom makes it to the bathroom falls out hits his head that's what i do i always wobble to the bathroom and then faint in there. That's every time I've done that. Yeah. I'm walking. And right before I go, I got to have a seat. And then my body just.

Not a big deal if they just fucking stay in their seat. Right. But it's the injuries that happen when they're walking around and they pass out while they're standing. That is actually bad. We got like we had we had broken noses and stitches and like wow so how do you do how do you keep performing while there's people just fainting in the crowd there are on the special itself there are three pass out breaks and and i gotta i gotta get the train back on the tracks

are we good make sure the medical attention they do that at hardcore shows it's streamlined it's streamlined but I say like hey are we good I don't want to be a Travis Scott fuck face let's make sure

you're good And then Okay we good Now let's get this back on track Were there pass out cams? Dude Did you get the people passing out? That's why it cost so much extra Was because I told the production company

I want to have more coverage on the audience Than there's ever been Yeah And as Of them just going green and just turning As it happened I could not have planted a fucking guy to pass out. Like I,

I, I guarantee you, I will be accused of having planted somebody. And I promise you, I did not. This guy was in the second row, two seats from the central second seat in his buddies on the aisle, the center aisle. Second seat in. His buddy's on the aisle, the center aisle. And like right on camera

he's in the second fucking row and he's like, oh you can see him. He's like hey buddy, I gotta get out of here. The guy's not even able to get up from the aisle seat. And the dude just slumps over him lands on his face on the center aisle and slides

across it on his face. The dude had this carpet burn on his face on the center aisle and slides across it on his face the dude had this carpet burn on his face jesus christ oh he biffed it yeah dude he slides across the center aisle on his face and i'm like whoa this one might actually take a sec and uh and and you know there's there's like the the big post when when you enter the theater. It's, you know, like by entering this premises, you agree to be featured in this production. But because the guy like passed out like that, like now he's going to be like a centerpiece. Right. Yeah. Like we weren't relying on that.

It's called a cable cast. We weren't relying on that release. They approached the guy. Hey, can we get you to sign off to be in the special? The guy's embarrassed. He doesn't want any fucking part in that. So in the special, you can't see the gnarly carpet burn on his face. He was a big guy?

He must have been a big guy. No, he wasn't a big guy. He just went in forward. He looked like a marionette that got its strings cut. I mean, we should bust it out and show you. Like when we wrap it up, I'll show it to you. Yeah, the special is unbelievable. Do you ever faint?

Have you fainted? I don't know that I've ever fainted. I've been hit in the head or hit my head so hard. Yeah, passing out is different than fainting. I've been knocked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you haven't seen something and been like, no way. I've never fainted from seeing something.

And it's very few. You know, a vasectomy is not like a gory or graphic procedure. It's not invasive at all, yeah. It's minimally invasive. I thought it was underwhelming. And it was just a good thing I did all the funny stuff after to make it like. Yeah, but how did that, that didn't make you pass out from the pain? I can't imagine the amount of pain.

You galloped on a horse after a vasectomy. I'm hurting thinking of you. Dude, then we had a fucking, we dressed up like a piñata, hung me upside down, and we had kids whacking me in the balls with a stick. Oh, because no kids allowed. Yeah, that's awesome. Oh, hell yeah.

That's great. And you, okay. I mean, everything in this special is fucking over the top. Like, if you like Jackass, you will fucking love this special. Dude, that's like the smartest fucking thing. How long ago was it when you shot all this? Oh, I worked on the show for more than five years. Oh, my God.

I started working on it in 2018. Don't you think if you're doing that in your 40s, you're pretty much okay before you get old? I mean, I think you got another 30 years before. You know what I mean? You should be studied. If you ride a horse with a vasectomy, that gives you 30 years before you're an old guy.

Maybe. But the first joke I say, guys, I'm in a messed up situation. I'm Steve-O in my 40s. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, it's like It gets a laugh

I just wonder like Is the same joke I'm Steve-O in my 50s And that's not funny anymore You see I don't know It is it's still good Steve-O in his 60s is good Steve-O in any era is great

I can't wait for nursing home Steve-O. I just, I use you guys as a way to calm myself down when I get worried about aging, is I'm like, all of those punks are now older than me. So you guys, you know what I mean? Like, you're paving the road for punks to get old, and that's how I literally calm myself down. Yeah, look at the Rolling Stones.

Yeah. Yeah. For the crying out loud, the Rolling Stones. And Aerosmith. I'm a little bit taking umbrage with you lumping in Siv with old people. Siv is older than you.

Yeah, older than me, but by what, like maybe 10 years? Is he 10 years older? Yeah, but I think what she was saying was like, you can be that old and still be the coolest dude in the world. But you can't think of like an old, old guy who's cool. He's still fucking kicking and singing

every fucking weekend, tattooing every day. He's a fucking man. I can't wait to get a tattoo from him at Lotus. My mom is 64 and she's still working construction. She's building like a house once a week. My mom is 64 and she's still working construction. She's building like a house once a week. My mom is 70 and she does not leave the house. Wow.

Well, guys, that's. Yeah. Now, I want to say this, too, that Jack has never would have let me do these fucking things i did for the bucket list oh really well because you can't wait why you can't have people stealing drugs from hospitals right oh yeah so like like the wait but why can't they but you can't uh they just like it would never work for paramount pictures to be like hey i got this this asshole doctor in disguise is going to inject drugs into my spinal cavity and paralyze me. Like I do like parody law.

Nah, it didn't work that way. And we were filming the, that fourth Jackass movie when I filmed this and I was like, yo, I got this guy and he's got these drugs and he's going to fucking shoot him up into my spinal cavity. I'm going to take off running and like, tell me that's not awesome.

Yeah. You know, and, and, and they, the powers that be of Jack, as they said, like, Hey, that's great. But we, we can't do that. Like we cannot. Were any of the other guys jealous of all your ideas? No, I wouldn't say that, but like, I want to do that. Well, we found out that poopies when he got bit by a shark and he

was very like the one thing I remember him saying about it was he was like steve-o was so much help with it because I think you were like well I yeah we hung out with poopies that was wild uh depends on which poopies you got yeah well he brought a dog and a go-kart. We're like, what are you doing? So you got the bad poopies. We had diarrhea. Yeah, I did. Shark Week is Discovery Channel. Initially, there was a question whether or not they were even going to show the shark attack. They had done Shark Week for 30 years.

It seemed so illegal. It seemed crazy that they were doing it. They never had a shark attack for 30 years it seems so illegal it seemed crazy that they were doing it they never had a shark attack for 30 years of shark week and then we come along and we pull it off in like 30 minutes because you had them jump a shark tank right right initially they were like we can't show that like we're just gonna get shut down like We can't even show that. And I got very, very animated, very involved. I said, look, the only thing that will make what has happened with this shark attack okay is if Poopies gets the glory. For you to bury that footage and not let it see the light of day would be the only tragedy in this. Yeah.

That's the only bad thing that could possibly happen. You know, let him get the glory. Let this be the notch in his belt. And thank God Discovery Channel did go ahead and put it out. But I knew that they were going to put out a sanitized, pussified. Muted version. Yeah. knew that they were going to put out a sanitized muted version yeah you know and so i took it upon myself to locate the footage the raw footage like uh hell yeah i look that's what he said yeah i got i got the raw footage like very illegally yes like uh from people who weren't supposed to have it right people the dark web

like well nobody will ever know who it was that had it who gave it to me but i got the raw footage and and and i was like okay poopies we're gonna tell your story properly we're not gonna sanitize it we're not we're gonna tell it like we'll show're going to tell it. And I went like on this whirlwind tour of the Los Angeles area to the Jackass director, Jeff Tremaine, to Johnny Knoxville, to Chris Pontius, to everybody who was there. And I personally interviewed each person and gave all the footage of the attack, all of the interview footage to poopies. And imagine getting attacked by a shark and you don't even get the footage.

I mean, that's so crazy. What an asshole. And he's making art. That is your guys' art. That is art for us. And good on you for fucking sticking your neck out. That rules. I felt really good about doing it.

And I want to give heaps of credit to Jack Satariano, who put together this incredible video. He interviewed poopies for poopies, like for his kind of interview to narrate the story. And in, in telling the story the way it actually happens, poopies got so emotional and it's just like crying,

telling the story. Yeah. And, uh, God damn, it's the most like wonderful, touching, like moving, like just the way that it's the,

it's the only like really good video on poopies channel. Yeah. I know. I've looked through a lot of them and I'm like, there's more like this one. Sorry. It's the only one. Yeah.

And it's got like, uh, well over a million views And it's his story And nothing against Discovery Channel I get what they do And I appreciate that they were not Angry Or active

They're going to make more episodes of Alaskan Bush people They can't show some real shit Yeah no but they were cool And I came clean to them. I was like, hey, look, you know, like I orchestrated this telling of the story. And I think they were like, oh, yeah, I would like to put the link in the description or something. Like, wow. OK.

I mean, Discovery was very cool. That's cool. Yeah. When we met him, he had his hand all wrapped up and we asked him about it. And he talked about it. He got emotional then. But I remember him getting particularly like he was like, if wasn't for steve-o it would just be for nothing so that's cool yeah that's cool man and um uh prubis is now um engaged and 10 months sober

no way oh my god yeah because when we saw him he was about to marry a girl in Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, she's on fire for it. You know, like she gives, he gives a fuck about that. That was, dude, I've never, I've honestly, I don't think ever felt so good than when I was living in a halfway house, reading the big book in the back of a car, going to and from detoxes. Yeah. Life was so simple back then. Yeah.

Just don't do this one thing. Yeah, life was so simple back then yeah just don't do this one thing yeah life was so simple yeah and and that's saying something because i got sober in 2008 where like the financial crisis wiped out like more than half of what little i had saved yeah and i'm like oh dude and i burned down all my bridges and and like i didn't know that i had any earnings potential left and now i'm taking care of myself so I'm like probably only halfway through my life yeah I was like I got nothing I have no

way of feeding myself and I'm probably going to be alive for another 30 right yeah I saved myself to have nothing yeah yeah I started comedy living in a halfway house and I swear to God I was like you know what I've always wanted to do this I'm going to go to an open mic if it doesn't work out I know

where Home Depot is I can get a chair and a rope there's a sturdy banister downstairs things will be fine you know let me ask you this like because it had a lot to do with me getting into stand up was that all of a sudden going to a bar

or a nightclub is not on the table anymore. But going to a comedy club, there's every like legitimate reason to be there. Ian can do most things. Ian gets so hyper off of attention that you can bring him to a club and he will have a good time.

It's actually insane. Oh, like a nightclub. You don't have a reason to be in a nightclub. No, no, no, no. But at the strip club, you were the king of the strip club. Everybody was blacked out. There was a reason. I think strip club, inner circle.

Yeah. Inner circle. Yeah, you fucked one of the strippers. I know. But he was having a great time. It was fun. And he didn't touch any alcohol. So that's good.

We're working on it. We'll get to Steve-O level. You know what's funny? You got sober in 2008. I went to my first meeting in 2008, and I thought AA was so anonymous, I told everyone my name was Tom. I thought you didn't even give real names.

Yeah, no, you identified by your first name. Yeah, no, I'm aware now. After they were like, hey, Tom, and you were like, yeah. No, Tom. I mean, it's a good They were like, Hey Tom. And you were like, yeah, Tom. Yeah. I mean, it's a good deal.

15 years. That's amazing. Straight the whole time. Yeah. That's fucking beautiful. My chemical sobriety is 15 years. My sex sobriety, six years.

And, um, like it turns out life's not that fucking complicated. Yeah. Your sex sobriety is one day. We're starting today. Steve-O. I jerked off earlier. Half day. I tried to touch your vagina an hour ago. Is that true?

Yeah. Sobriety date is the first day that you didn't act out. Well, tomorrow's the first day of the rest of my life. Yeah. But anyways, man, what a treat. Thank you guys. Yeah. Thanks for coming. tomorrow's the first day of the rest of my life but anyways what a treat thank you guys you're the fucking best man we teared up we were watching a movie

when we got the emails asking if we wanted to have it literally we were doing a movie watch of Beetlejuice and I got the email and I go oh my god and we both cried and hugged each other this is like the coolest fucking thing. Will you tase me with that taser? Right there. Just give me a little

shock. Yep, the purple thing. Pull it out of the wall. Just so that I can say, here, I'll turn it on for you and I won't do it to you. Don't go crazy or anything. Just tap me with it. You know what? Go a little crazy with her. You know what? Go a little crazy with her. Oh, yeah.

I don't like it. Okay, I'll do Ian now. No, no. You've been emotionally tasing me the whole show. All right, thank you, everybody. You're the fucking best. Tell them where they can watch it. Stevo.com.

And you know what? Jackass wouldn't let me do it. I fucking did it anyway. Yeah, let's go. Netflix, HBO, any of those fucking, they wouldn't show it to you. Yeah. I'm going to show it to you anyway. Right fucking now.

Stevo.com. It is in the fucking form. No compromise. Yes. And like Madball, you DMS demonstrated your style. Like Gorilla Biscuits, you held your ground. Yeah. And you can see me hold my ground. You put yourself

in harm's way. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Oh my God. And you've stayed away from doing Angel Dust. Yeah. That's fucking right, man. It's the craziest shit ever. Go to steveo.com, enjoy it. If you're a queasy person, then set up a camera in case you pass out.

Post that footage. We're going to watch it. We're going to do a movie watch of your special. It's going to be the best. Sunday, December 3rd, I'm filming my first special, The Kiting Room, New York City City IanFightance.com for tickets Two shows 7 and 9.30 we're halfway sold out It would be the best thing in the world if we packed

That fucker out it's gonna be a blast Big Jay did a special there yeah Yeah yeah yeah She did too She's a half hour special It's great check it out Half hour special It's also very me demonstrating my style.

I say a lot of fucked up things. You should watch it. I love it. It's a little out of control. It's great. It's great. It's great. Yeah.

All right. Let's go check out that lump. She's lump. She's lump. She's lump. It's in her jine. Da, da, da, da, da. All right.

Cut it off. All right. We love you. Bye.