Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Episode 097: No Arf Arfs W/ Bryan Garris (Knocked Loose)

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

As always , Thanks for watching! Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s STREAM YOU WON'T GO BEFORE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO : https://purenoiserecs.lnk.to/knockedloosemusic Head to https://www.tryfum.com/SKA and use the code SKA for a free gift with your order of a Journey Pack. PODCAST MERCH HERE ! : https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ See Jordan Live! : https://punchup.live/jordanjensen WATCH JORDAN’S SPECIAL HERE : https://youtu.be/MoBkkw66NWY?si=ffcJnn9HuluWrW4l WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s WATCH RIP HERE - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tub6tSNi2Ho&t=2s Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! : https://punchup.live/ianfidance IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 Follow Bryan Garris Here : https://www.instagram.com/heathen_gang/ Knocked Loose : https://www.instagram.com/knockedloosehc/ https://linktr.ee/knockedloose STREAM YOU WON'T GO BEFORE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO : https://purenoiserecs.lnk.to/knockedloosemusic Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree: https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/  

Hi, everybody out there in TV land. It's your old pal Ian and Jordan here. June 6 to 9 Sunnyvale, California rooster tee feathers, June 14 to 15, Eugene, Oregon, Olsen run comedy club. And then July 18 to 20, it's Rochester, New York comedy on Carlson, July 25 28th. I'm doing Naples, Florida. Off the hook. Punch up dot live slash Ian. By dance. Come on out. It's the best patron dot com slash being Ian. But Jordan, where are you going to be?

Where can they find you? Take your time. I'm going to be I'll be in Des Moines, Iowa, Manchester, Connecticut, Addison Improv. Love that club in Dallas brand improv in California. Timonium Mugubis, Fort Collins, Comedy4 shout out my favorite club, Hilarities, Cleveland, Ohio. Second, it's on the top three.

I can't ever choose between them. Oh, and September 1st, we're doing a live being a with Jordan at Hilarities San Francisco Comedy Club. That's Cobbs. Why does it say that? Oh, I got you. Austin, Texas, Columbus, Ohio, Petersburg, Ohio, Dayton, Ohio. Wow. And Ohio. A lot. Uh, just get a skanky skanky fast. Batavia, Nashville, Charlotte, go to punch up live slash the Skanky Skanky Fest, Batavia, Nashville, Charlotte. Go to PunchUp Live slash Jordan Jensen, PunchUp.live slash Jordan Jensen, and find tickets there.

Also, see you there. What were you gonna say? New episode of RIP Jordan Jensen drops on Monday. Every other Monday. It's with me and Laura Peek every other Monday. Laura Peek's the best. This one's about OCD.

Enjoy the show. Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian, being Ian, life is shit but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live a life being Ian, being Ian. With Jordan.

Meow. What? Oh, oh, hey. Whoa. Whoa, you can do it. Are she blows? Yes! Welcome back to another episode of B&E with Jordan. I am feeling okay. I rode my bike today. I was feeling some type of way, but riding the bike helps. Leave Richard alone! She needs to chill on eating Richard. She's new Richard. She's She needs to chill on on eating. Richard, she's new.

Richard, she's the new little guy. Oh, yeah. When I see something crazy. Yes. Speaking of crazy, this is crazy. I'm just associating from the reality that is I love you. I am so excited.

We are so excited for our guest today. This fucking rules. The one, the only Brian Gares from Knock Loose. Hello. Thanks for having me. Yeah. I'm excited. Yeah. It finally worked. I know. I have so many questions. We've been trying to get them on for a while and the schedules have never worked. And now they're playing Brooklyn Steel tonight and we're going to go. Yeah. I playing Brooklyn Steel tonight. And we're gonna go. I have so many questions. I think last time I was here, you were out of town. So we could work.

We got pizza though. We did. Yeah, we rode the train, got some pizza. How old are you? I'm 30. You're 30. Yeah. How do you-

Hit him with the questions. Oh, thank God. Okay. What do you- Pick it up. Let's go. Question it up. How do you possibly survive your voice? How is your throat okay?

I was gonna ask. So, this used to be such a boring answer, but recently it became a really cool answer. I... When I started, I was just, like, doing it, and I was hoping for the best. There was, like, no technique. It was just, like, I've always lived by the rule that's like, it doesn't matter if you suck at vocals

as long as you sound convincing. Right. Like there's a ton, tons of bands that are- As long as you're mad. Yeah, there's tons of bands that are like great bands and their vocalists like aren't that good, but they're fucking awesome because they sound believable. But I was just like doing it.

And then we've been a band for. Eleven years now, so like touring and we've been touring almost the entire time, so. I've always seen comments and stuff like he's going to blow his voice, he's going to. And I've always had that fear, like, I hope I'm doing it the right way. I mean, it's lasting this long. So last year we were in Europe for a month and I blew my voice out. Yeah. And like we played a Reading and Leeds festival, which is like the Coachella of the UK.

Like we were the black sheep. It felt like we had something to prove and my voice was like worse than it's ever been. I couldn't even talk. I'm like, what's up? What is but your voice is already insane for those of you don't know, particularly And my voice was like worse than it's ever been. I couldn't even talk. I'm like, what's up? But your voice is already insane. For those of you who don't know, particularly, you have the most, the voice that sounds, I would say of all hardcore bands,

the one that you listen to and you're like, that cannot be comfortable to do. Like it's crazy. It's never hurt. It's just, yeah, it just feels like if I was yelling at somebody, like that's what would happen. And then over the years, when I yell at somebody, my voice hurts. Now when I yell at people, my voice raises a bunch of octaves. And then I never say like the thing I want to say in my, like I, someone blocked my way and on the subway and I was trying to get off and they wouldn't move and instead of being like yo get the fuck out of the way

I said, you're not the only one in this world You're saying exactly And you wish you were a different person Yeah, but I mean that happens with me too like me too. Like my singing voice is like so much higher than my talking voice, but it just, that's just what happens. I don't know. Did that just come out? I didn't think you would have a low voice. Yeah. A lot of people-

I thought you were going to have a higher voice when I met you. A lot of people don't expect my talking voice to be so low, but that's just like what happens when I yell. Like it just raises. So when I blew my voice out in Europe, I went to an ENT because I was like scared that I was like ruining myself forever. And what's an ENT? Ear, nose, and throat. Yeah. And I live in LA. So I went based off of a recommendation. I went to this guy in Beverly Hills and I go in. It's like a normal office. Oh, no. But it was it like, let me

listen to your throat through your spirit. It wasn't like weirdo shit, but it was like they were like the office is normal. They gave me a covid test when I got in. Then they were like, all right, we're going to take you to his office and sit down. I sit in his office and it's covered every pop star you could imagine on the wall.

Like Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Chris Stapleton, Rihanna. Like he is like apparently like the ENT. Well, so I'm sitting there like, what have I gotten myself into? And then this like guy walks in and from the door he goes, who the fuck sent you? And I was like, oh, he's a hob guy. Yeah. I like told him who recommended me. And he went, you have covid, you can leave. Whoa. I was like, oh, that's why my voice is gone.

Holy shit. That cost five grand, by the way. No, it did not. I swear to God. Holy shit. So then five grand. Yeah. So wait, it cost five grand. For a covid test. That you're still paying off.

I you know what? I'm going to. Oh, OK. I'm going to go there for five grand and just sit in the office and hope I meet Meg Thee Stallion. Dude, he had like, um, he had so many different plaques from the dude that created Family Guy. Seth MacFarland. Seth MacFarland, yeah. And like, magazine covers of him and Seth MacFarland. Yeah. And like magazine covers of him and Seth MacFarland. Oh, cause Seth is all voice. Yeah. Where he's sitting in the doctor chair and Seth MacFarland is like dressed up like the doctor. It's like they're like apparently really close and they've

been working together. So this guy's like a huge deal, I guess. And I went back a week later when I was done with COVID. What's the matter with you? Stop, man. She keeps, she is just, I think it's political now. It's a statement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, so wait, hold on. Was he a dick because you had COVID? No, I think he's just like a funny guy. Oh, funny guy?

Yeah, like I went back, I went back a week later, he was like, come back when you don't have COVID anymore. Right. And we did an actual like scope. They put a camera down my throat and what's that like? It sucked. It sucked so bad because like not only do you it's like this and I know about that all the way to me too. I have to like not for a while, not for a while. I hate that I'm your Republican father.

No, no. My houseboy. It was just in college. Cowering. It was a phase. Sorry. Oh, you're busy. But they I had he had to put the camera down my

throat and then I had to like gag noise I had to go like I know about that too You guys love that shit and I feel so stupid doing it cuz I'm like, oh I called a girl faker once I was like I did this is the Oscars were last month vibration or some shit what No, you neither. I thought guys like the vibration of somebody making noise. Wow. No, we like making it sound like we're like larger than life. You know, like, whoa, she's the whole can handle me.

You know, it's not a vibration. No, I'm not talking about that. I know you guys like that, but I just felt like. No, I don't, because then it makes me fear for your health. You know, you are gay. Heard heard. Do you need a throat loss? But my friend knows an E.N.T.

She's putting clips to hold her hair back for. I got it. I'm French braiding her hair while she's blowing me. I'm trying a joke right now about how gay sex is the straightest thing you could do. Thank you. That's good. Right. You haven't heard that. I have.

What is it? No, it's like that's like an alpha move. And all you women have been jib jabbering about how we need to fuck the patriarchy. And I'm the only one who's fucking doing it. Oh, that's good. That's talking.

I'm making a limp out of my apartment. Mine is like it's crazy that gay men fuck people's asses. Like, that's good. That's great. Talking, I'm making a limp out of my apartment. Mine is like it's crazy that gay men fuck people's asses. Like that's a crazy idea. Like it's crazy that Mateo puts his dick in a man's butt. It seems like something he'd be like, oh, my God, absolutely not. Whereas gay, we're straight guys. It seems like they'd be like, the girls in town, give me your asshole. You know, give it.

Give me your poop. I don't care about poop. Whereas gay guys, it seems crazy. They would be OK with it. But where else are they going to go? Or else they could know. I'm't care about poop. Whereas gay guys, it seems crazy. They would be okay with it. But where else are they gonna go? Where else are they gonna, no, I'm just saying metaphorically, you're- But you wear the same socks? No, I always wear minor dicks, sporting goods.

DSG socks, the best socks in the biz. Last for years. You looking for good socks? Yeah, DSG, buy them because I think every time we go to dicks, they say, we don't sell those anymore. And I think it's only in some places, but if we buy more, they gotta make more. speaking to Dix. What is this dear you have about gay men? like if I like like it

Like it's crazy to imagine a gay guy being willing to put his dick into a man's asshole Where else are they gonna go? I know that that's what they do We think they're gonna stop there and be like, well, I guess they have to do it. But they like it. You know, you don't live in a world where you think people can like anything other than missionary. No, that's not true. I think it's crazy that gay men even go near anybody's asshole. They seem like somebody who would have. Oh, because they're like clean.

And it seems like a straight guy thing to be like, dude, what about if we just go in the boat? You know what I mean? Like, what if we just let me just I can stick it in your pooper. But I know so many straight guys are like, ew, that's where the dookie comes from. You fucking retard. It's a joke. Jesus Christ. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Holy mother of God. Sorry, sorry. Something wrong with you. But I know a lot of gay guys who have butt sex. Yeah, sorry! Something wrong with you.

But I know a lot of gay guys who have butt sex. Yeah! That's what being gay is! Idiot! God! Love it! Ten minutes in. Crazy! Okay. Anyway, back to you, Brian. Sorry.

Forgot you're here. So now how do you save your voice? Well after we did the scope, he was like, your voice is fine. He complimented it a lot, actually. He said he's like working with an opera singer and he was like her voice is like way more fucked than yours. He was like so whatever you're doing keep doing. Your vocal cords like looked fine? I guess yeah. I have pictures of it. It's crazy. Yeah. I took pictures of the screen

because it looked like something out of Alien. Oh yeah yeah they're like weird and they go like. Yeah so like my it's it's weird because I haven't ever cared until like the last two years about like what I'm doing. But there's this tick tock guy. It's like Extreme Vocal Institute. And he got big on tick tock from impersonating other singers. And he walks you through how to do it. And he sounds exactly like whoever he does.

Has he walks you through how to do it. And he sounds exactly like whoever he does. Has he done you? And he did me, and someone sent it to me. And he like, walks through all the like, he's like, it's from up here, it's not from down here. He was like, it's nasally. And like, he said everything that I'm doing, but I had never thought about what I'm doing. Did that fuck you up?

Oh, but it's true. When you heard it? Yeah, so I like hit him up, and I was just like, Hey, like you should teach me how to do what I do, do what I do as if I don't know how. Right. And we like met up and like, I guess he gave me like a lesson and um, because I was like, it's been 10 years, like I should probably know how to do what I'm doing. And like like so that I can do it a bit more comfortably. But so what are you doing? You're screaming from your head.

Yeah. How do you scream from your head? Your head voice. So it's like, yeah, it's the same thing where when you yell and your voice raises in octaves, it's because it's coming from up here rather than like here or here. And and I don't know the science behind it. All I know is this guy, like if you've heard Knocked Loose, our guitar player does low screaming. Yeah.

And he was like, you scream from your head voice and that's what it sounds like. And he did me perfect. Whoa. And he was like, your guitar player screams from his stomach. And that's why he sounds like and he sounded just like Isaac and I was like you are special. That is crazy. So when he said I scream from my head and he went huh you understood what that meant? Well I know what a head they say head voice I've heard. Yeah I've never heard that what is that? It's just like yeah but what is a head voice? I'm saying what's in my head right now. Right now you're going from your chest.

And you go you can go from your stomach, which is lower, and you can head, which is which is what he does higher. Yeah. Like when you yelled and you said, you're not the only one on this world or whatever you said in the subway, it was like you're pulling from up here. Wait, let me try to do it from down here. You're not. Yes, my dog is like, knock blues. That's crazy. You guys are huge.

Thank you. What the fuck is going on? I don't know. You're not supposed to get huge. You know what I mean? That's crazy. Yeah, we definitely were. Yeah, you are because you're talented and you deserve it. Yeah, but you're freaks. You're not supposed to get huge. You know what I mean? That's crazy. We definitely were. Yeah, you are, because you're talented and you deserve it. Yeah, but you're freaks. But I get it. I get it. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Style is like there's pop.

Yeah. Behind that. You guys are nuts. And when and I was listening to you guys and then somebody was like, oh, you were like, they're huge. And I was like, there's no way they're like they're they're in. It's like that's like if you have to be into hardcore. Yeah, yeah. Like you would think to get a mass

appeal sounding like that is like, why? What is that? I really don't know why I don't. I think it might be like I think it might be like there's the turnstile pop and then I think it goes there's all of the different levels of hardcore and then you get to like a super extreme.

And it's like those two are able to meet each other for some. Yeah, I think and I think a lot of it is like guitar music is cool right now. Like, yeah, MGK wants to be a rock star. Like so like people are trying to dig to find like actual rock, I guess.

So it's just like people are like, investing into the culture. Yeah. And it's so much crowd participation that I think that like, if you don't like heavy music, you can watch our live set and be like, Whoa, this is crazy. I feel like that's what happened at Coachella. It was like all these people that, because all the bullshit EDM and everything they listen to does have a vibe of like, oh, here comes a breakdown. And then to actually hear legit good breakdowns and music that

makes you want to like truly crush your skulls through a wall. A little bit of Molly. I don't I like it. I like it. And I can't. How do you how well I'm a sober guy. How am I supposed to be in a warehouse? Listen to fucking it's all about all of that. It's all it's the same exact thing. It's literally a breakdown. Yeah. Like if you listen like there is no are. Yeah, there's no there's no every single knocked loose song ends with a breakdown. And that's just like a drop. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's like it's it's all about like building tension. You haven't been to a good one. You have to go to like a good like I went to one in Montreal that was like, I mean, the dopamine is just being pumped in you because they're just bringing it up and dropping it in a way that's like, yeah. And the you know, you just can't go to a if you go to a shitty one, it's shitty. You know what I just realized? I look at EDM the same way people look at hardcore like, wait,

so you go there and you just throw your body around, you punch people. And I'm like, wait, you go to this and you just, what do you mean you dance the whole time? And then I'm in a show. But the shows they put on is like insane. It's just some like 19 year old nerd that's had a laptop his whole life. And he's like, I want 300 foot robot shooting lasers at the people that are watching me. And they're just like, sure. Yeah, it's awesome. Really?

Yeah. And it's weird. There's a lot of EDM artists that like really love Knocked Lose. And so like we've gotten to meet a lot of them and it's like super crazy. Like the difference in our world's like they're just like taking private jets and they're playing like one show a month and. Oh really? Yeah and like then we're just like in a bus for 40 days in a row. What's with that? Yeah why is that?

Because they're tech boys? I don't know I think just like. Are they're cost low because it's just a laptop and autism or like what? Is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like,

is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like, It's more about like just like festivals and like giant like electronic events

So they're just like all I have to fly is like me in a USB drive So like all my friends are gonna take the private jet Although it must suck to just know that a hundred percent of your audience is so fucked up Like sometimes the seller would imagine knowing that and being able to like fuck with it. Yeah Yeah, like when you're writing stuff, you're like, this is crazy. And you're like, hold on, if I was on drugs, this would kill me. Yeah. Do you think people are on drugs at yours? Probably. Yeah. We did a rap tour last year. There's probably drugs there. Rap tour. Yeah.

We toured with Suicide Boys. We were like the only band on the whole tour, except Code Orange was on. Some of it we overlapped for a week. Oh, that's kind of cool. Two bands. Yeah. Well, I haven't seen that. Like again, back to the Coachella thing of like these people that would never naturally find this like A to B to C to find this type of music and then feeling this tribal instinct to just dance and just be into it. this tribal instinct to just dance and just be into it. I thought that that was really cool, to break that barrier and have all these people

all come together that normally wouldn't lose their minds, all lose their mind. And then to hear that you're doing that on the road with rappers and everything, it's like, that's great. Because it just goes back to that musical thing that just makes you, that's why I love hardcore and punk rock, it just goes back to that like musical thing that just makes your that's like why I love Hardcore and punk rock. It just makes me want to like yeah move and thrash around definitely. It's um, coachella was Crazy because we had no idea what to expect and we fully thought that like it might be bad and we wouldn't have been surprised

you know, like To us the victory was like the flyer. Like we're like, we're here. Like our name is here. And like, we were like, if the show might not be great, but like we're doing it. And for it to be as like crazy as it was, it really did feel, I'm usually bad about like in the moment, realizing the importance of a moment. I usually like look back on it.

I'm like a very nostalgic person, but like at Coachella I was like, this feels like a statement is being made. Really? It was huge? Yeah, yeah. Cause like, first of all, we pulled up and there was no barricade and our like stage manager walked over

and he was wearing like a Los Crudos shirt. And he was just like, excited to have you guys like. Whoa. Oh man. They didn't have a barricade. No barricade. That's awesome. crudo shirt and he was just like excited to have you guys like whoa man okay no barricade that's awesome and we were in a tent and during the show they had to cap the tent like we were at capacity like it was like and before our set we're like stretching and warming up the tin is empty and like our manager kept like poking out and he's like no it it's still empty. Whoa, and we're all just like It's fine. Like it's whatever like I'm gonna go watch Ethel Cain and that's all I care

Yeah, oh my god Then like five minutes before the set he like pokes out and he comes out and he's like it's full. Whoa Oh my god, dude, that's the best feeling. How many people? I don't know what the cap of the tent was, but like it was huge. It's a, it was very big. I have a video. That's all I have. I'll show you the video, but. What's that?

There's like 6,000 people. Or am I crazy? Maybe I would say between 5 and 10 thousand. five and 10,000. Jesus. Yeah, yeah. It was nuts. Like truly, I didn't expect it. Is that the most you ever played for? No, the most we've ever played for is Des Moines, Iowa, Knotfest, Slipknot, returning home, 30,000 people. Holy moly. We played at like 3 PM, so it wasn't full yet.

You could see the line, actually, while we were playing. But I guarantee we played to 15,000. Wow. Amazing. Either that or some, oh no, I'm literally lying. Suicide Boys, day two, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 20,000 people. Oh my god.

Yeah. And that's just a show. That wasn't even a fest. That was like, we met them day one and we were like, congratulations on your tour. It's so huge. Thank you for having us. We were in Omaha, Nebraska, 10,000 people. And they were like, nah, today sucked.

Wait until tomorrow. There's 20,000 tickets sold. And we were like, holy shit. What? That's all of Albuquerque how'd you yeah it is how did you meet up with those guys they're fans of the band oh yeah and like that's awesome so we got the offer and i listened to rap probably more than i listened to hardcore music so i was like yep i'm all for it. Like I'm ready. And then being there, realizing that like, when you, the more that you do, I'm trying

to figure out how to word this, the bigger that we get and the more stages were put on, the more you realize that hardcore kids are behind everything. Like you pull up to Coachella and our stage manager is a hardcore guy. We do Suicide Boys and like their sound guy, their monitor guy, their tour, all. behind everything. Yeah. You pull up to Coachella and our stage manager is a hardcore guy. We do Suicide Boys and like their sound guy, their monitor guy, their tour, all hardcore dudes. I think it's the work ethic. Oh, like hardcore is so like DIY.

Yeah. Same with just like, you know, any of the bands I've opened for, it's like all the crew is wearing a hardcore shirt. I know that. Oh, I know that. I know that. And they're like, yeah, I know that, oh, I know that. I know that. And they're like, yeah, I think you're right. I think it's the grit.

Yeah. Yeah. We always joke that like hardcore kids grow up to work for mainstream artists on the ground and pop punk kids grow up to work in the office for mainstream artists. Like on the management side and like the cushy job. But yeah, like everywhere we go, it's like,

or you hear stories about like, like I have a friend who started doing merch for just like Midwest bands for free and now he does merch for like SZA. Whoa. Yeah. So it's just like, it's crazy. They're everywhere. Hardcore kids are everywhere. Who is your merch people? Hardcore kids are everywhere. Who's your merch people? So my girlfriend did merch for us for eight years and she actually, she started doing, back when we were like doing everything ourselves like to a fault almost, we bought like four

party DJ lights from a guitar center and she was was like, oh, who's doing these lights? And we were like, you. So like we made her do lights and merch. Yeah. And then that snowballed into like her being like a very good and legit lighting director. Like, whoa, that's awesome. Now this is the first tour ever where she's officially not doing merch. She's just doing lights.

That's cool. Yeah. So she kind of excuse me. She kind of like assumed the role of like overall production. So it's amazing. So you get to bring her out. Yeah. Yeah. She's been torn with us for a long time. That's so cool. We've been together for 13 years. So that's amazing. Seven. Twenty three. Twenty. Huh? He's 30. Seventeen. Seventeen.

Eighteen. Eighteen. Going on 13 years. That's crazy. Thirteen going on 30. That's so good, though, because it's so good that you popped off. I don't know, though, because you know what I was talking to? I think it was people and somebody in Zach Bryan's band.

My friend was getting fucked up with them and they were like dude I Have a wife and we blew up and now What the fuck? But it's probably like that's probably also relief, you know, you're just like there's no what do you guys call chucklefucks? I Don't know groupies groupies. Oh, yeah You're just like locked in no matter how big you get you have somebody there with you Yeah, you deal with all the crazy bullshit. Yeah, it's funny cuz she would work the merch table And so people she would get girls asking about me to her. Oh, would you say something?

Well, she's like, I mean there's no like Doubt or like anything there. So she's like a good sport about it. Oh, that's great. Oh, yeah. I'll give him your number and like laugh. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, that's cool. And or just like being at the merch table, like weird dudes going to her. Like we would always get text in the group chat like. The pickup lines that she would get were just like fucking insane.

Like guys would come up and be like, oh, to her. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant to you. Tell Brian I said, I want to know how much is polar bear waves enough to break the ice. Nice. Somebody asked her once. They were like, how much is this shirt? And she was like 20 bucks or whatever. And they were like, how much are you? That's so crazy. Yeah, so why would you ever say that to anyone? When that is, dude, the people in merch lines are fucking nuts. My buddy was doing merch for terror and we were at it was Starland Ballroom and it was a pre terror Jesus piece.

And, you know, under the knife, the hate breed album with the monkey in the paw, some guy is drunk and goes up and goes, yeah, let me get that album with Obama on it. That's awesome. Let's have that guy on the pod. What? Okay, Rick.

And this chick was just drunk and was like, how about if I buy a shirt, you come with it. Yeah, they're just like- That's better than how much are you. How much are you is crazy. Yeah. That's so funny. Oh my God. It's when you tour with a woman, you realize that like every bad thing you've ever heard- Of guys. Men doing to women is like 100% true.

Oh yeah. Dude, I was walking with Coyote the other day. And worse than you ever like thought too. I was walking with Coyote and I had some, like maybe a protein shaker, like some container with me. And the guy goes, is that peanut butter to put on your pussy for the dog? And I was like, what the fuck did you just say to me, dude?

Look, I was joking, I'm sorry. You just need to get it together. You me? I was joking. I'm sorry. You just need to get it together. You need to know. Wow. Sorry. Sorry. I got a little bit. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. That guy needs to be locked up. Wait, was he like a person or like a crazy guy? He was at my show. What? Yeah.

He was a bald man at my show. I wish I was there. I would have fucking rocked him. I know. New York? No. Where? I don't fucking know. Some place I've been. About to say. Probably Appleton. Yeah. If it was New York, he would have he would have New Yorkers are succinct. He would have cut the middleman. I'll be like, let me lick your pussy. I have peanut butter at home. Yeah. Let me put peanut butter on your pussy. Give your dog a night off. That's crazy. I heard one time Taylor was restocking merch. Taylor is my girlfriend. She was restocking merch. And that's like during the show at night, just in the trailer alone. Like she's like digging through boxes and she hears something.

She turns around. There's just like a guy in the trailer. And she's like, can I help you? And he's like blackout drunk and he's like, you need a hand? And she's like, no, I'm good. Like, I need you to leave. Oh, and he's like, let me help you. And she's like, you got to go. And it like resorted in her being like, get the fuck out of my trailer. Yeah. Like popping off on him.

And like he was so drunk that he like stumbled backwards, fell, hit his head and just knocked himself out. Whoa. We had to like get the paramedics from the venue. Just knocked Luke. Hey! Wow. That's crazy. And that would have fucked me up. Hold on. I have one. I have one. I have one When he came to they said are you all right? And he goes I can't hear everything is quiet now

All right, that was not bad Sometimes their reaches there's a nice they're fucking reach. Oh, I'll fuck a terror rotator cuff reaching. No, don't reach You want me to pull an album? No, don't pull an I can do an album an album out? No, don't pull an album out. Oh my god. You said there's a song... You know what? You're lucky that... What are you going to say? Yeah, that looks too nice. You don't want to mess that up. Just sit back in your chair. Sit back in your chair and relax.

I like it down here. I feel like I'm regionally like where I'm from. Like south, midwest. Oh, are you Midwest? Where from Louisville Louisville so people argue whether or not it's Midwest or so south but I like a little a lot Yeah, it's awesome. It's a really cool place. We're printing it. I Mean, I guess I can say it we're printing a shirt for our hometown show at the end of this tour that just says Louisville Is the best place on earth That's great. Whoa

I really like it a lot. I love I go and do a club there that pays me nothing Oh Louisville comedy club. No planet of the tapes They just are like a very small club and I just go there because I love Louisville Yeah, I like that love so much. No, I'm confusing Louisville with Springfield, Missouri That's not good. That's a bad place. I like they have much. No, I'm confused in Louisville with Springfield, Missouri. That's not good. That's a bad place. They have a good cave there. They have a bunch of caves.

Oh, OK. I'm wondering a cave tour. Oh, like an actual cave? I thought that was maybe like comedy slang. I thought it was hardcore slang. I was like, yeah, I know what a cave is. Cool. You meant an actual cave.

Yeah. Kentucky's got good caves. Yeah. Really? Yeah, we got Mammoth Cave. This was called Cave. I'm thinking Caves of Calypso. Then I'm thinking the cave in song Calypso.

Am I having a stroke? I don't know what you're saying. I really want to do a pun. Just relax. Well, you almost had another one because she said Don't Reach and there's a song on her new album called don't reach for me That's right. Yes. I was wait. I was like Oh, I thought you were gonna do it. God damn out there somebody watching this was like No, I honestly though I

When I was i'm thinking if it was was in Louisville or Springfield, I don't know why I mix them two, but I spent a lot of time counting worms. Okay. That is not, that was too much. That was way too much. Really bad. I know. I know.

Sorry. Let's do a reset. You could have done something like this. You could have been like, you could have been like, I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm bad at the puns. I'm just going to sit over here counting worms. If something like that. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't take the been like, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm bad at the puns I'm just gonna sit over here counting worms. There's something like that. Ah

Yeah, you can't take the stage to do a bad one. Yeah, you can dip out on a bad one But you can't I'm starting to understand the dynamic here. Uh-huh. I'm right. He's wrong apprentice No, that's correct, no wrong teaching him how to be a person Republican father. Yeah. Oh wanting to impress. Yeah proud of me daddy. Yes. I'm very proud of you Oh, that's nice. Um, I can play the drop. What other question? I have a million questions go go who's opening a Band a gang called speed. Okay from Australia Speed from Australia. Yeah. First ever full US tour. Wow. Yeah, and it's cool full circle moment. The first time I ever got to tour Australia,

two members of Speed used to be in a band called Relentless and they were on our tour. So it's like- Whoa. Oh, that's cool. Years later, kind of getting to return the favor. That's awesome. Bring them over here, yeah.

Dude, I went to a show in Denton, Texas last year at Rubber Gloves. You ever play there? Uh, they, it was, uh, Speed, Mexican Coke, Life's Question, I think in one of the band, I forget. Anyway, it was like cool. People were having fun, whatever, you know, it wasn't that crazy, you know? You know, it wasn't that crazy, you know? And then Speed took the stage and I it was like everybody had a switch flick. And, dude, there were guys it was outside on concrete. There were guys climbing up on lights, doing front flips onto two people. And I'm like, holy shit. What's the craziest injury off? I broke my tailbone. Are you alright? My tailbone is still

fractured. I have a pack of ice upstairs. I need a donut. You got a head rest for the plane? Like a what do you call that? I do. Neck pillow? Yeah go get that. Please. Ethan. It's on the book bag right when you walk in. Thank you. I got you. I got you, Ethan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My tailbone's all fucked up from boxing. Still?

Oh yeah, still. You want an ice pack? No, I just want- I got one of those kinds where you crank it and it's- I don't want ice in my butthole. It's not ice cubes. It's an ice pack. I just need to sit on this donut.

Don't say anything sexual. What's the craziest injury you've got? Hey, I do not wanna do that. Put the mic down for a second so I can ask this question. You got it. Craziest injury. Do you do that? Oh my God. Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

You can do it. Jesus. Get off of this, you little chewer. Craziest injury. Do you do you smash it? I have, but I don't typically. I have to tour for like 30 days in a row. Yeah. Where do you ask in worse injury for me or for the crowd?

What you've seen in the crowd? Both for me, one time I was singing with every time I die and I went to head bang and I just head butted a guy as hard as I possibly could in the front row. Concussion broke my nose. Oh God. Yeah, just popped like a balloon. I literally just like, I come back up and it's. Ryan, no. I tried to play it off cause I was like,

I can't let them know that I'm hurt. So I just like did this. With your nose bleeding? Andrew WK style. play it off because I was like, I can't let them know that I'm hurt. So I just like did this. Oh, with your nose bleeding, Andrew W.K. style. And then I went to walk off and I was like, still can't let them know that I'm hurt. So I didn't like fully leave. I just went to the side of the stage to continue watching the show. So I'm just standing on the side like this. Nice, covered in blood, pouring blood.

And I was like, I would have cried. I did this. Everybody's Covered in blood. Boring blood. And I was like, I would have cried. I did this. Everybody's looking at me like, and I was like, all right, fine, I'll go. I like walk. And then also first time we ever played in New York. Like, BFW, I don't remember the name of the spot. It's definitely not around anymore, but it was like the back of a restaurant flat ground, like no stage,

probably held 50 kids. Somebody, this is like so New York, it's insane. Somebody picked another guy up and he was wearing Timbs and he kicked me in my head and knocked me out and I like fell through the drums and I fell and I like came. I got on one knee and I was just sitting there and the song had ended and everybody's like, are you good? Are you good? And I was like, don't talk to me. Just give me a second. And then I was like. All right, I'm good. And I had like a fucking goose egg on my head and I had

like cuts on my back from the drums. Oh, Jesus. Probably have you're probably concuss drums. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Probably have con... You're probably concussed. Yeah, probably. For good? Probably. Yeah, for good, probably.

I think me too. I got a concussion head banging in my room to Nirvana with my cousin when I was in sixth grade and I... You just said, I got a concussion head banging in my room. I was hoping you were an adult. So, yes, you're concussed. Head banging in my room. Oh, yeah.

Right. Just head banging in Nirvana. Me and my cousin Sherry just head banging in my room in an empty apartment. I was 30 years old. You're like, have you heard this? Yeah. Have you heard this? Have you heard this?

My brother, I have two younger brothers. They're my best friends in the whole world. Shout out Weapon X. Yeah. My youngest brother plays drums in Weapon X and he also plays drums in Gates to Hell, a death metal band. My middle brother, he toured for a bit, but decided it wasn't for him. He did merch for Terror, actually, for a while. Oh, no shit.

But him, my middle brother, Dallas, he is one, my favorite mosher in the world and two, the craziest injuries. He's like a little guy so he gets away with moshing crazy. But one time, he's 24. So we took him on tour when he was 15. Oh, that's great. Like begged my parents, like it's summer break. The tour's only two weeks.

So he's just been around forever. And when we were in Columbus, Ohio, he was moshing and like he's 15 and an adult man kicked him in his face and his like a spank kick. Or was it just like it was it was like this and his tooth went through his lip and like you could just see his teeth right here I had to take him to the emergency room I took him to the emergency room and he was a minor so he was like yeah, I like blacked out and this happened and

Once they heard blacked out and that he was a minor, they were just like, we're going to squeeze every penny we can. I put him in a neck brace, put him like whole nine yards. Like there's pictures on my Instagram. If you scroll back and just like my little brother, just like in a neck brace, just like a Christopher Montezante. Yeah. And they like did all these tests about him blacking out to make sure that he didn't have a concussion And he was like I feel fine. I need you to do something about my lip and they were like well We can't really do anything about that. You just got to let it heal. They didn't sew it? Yeah, and what and They did like the glue stuff. Yeah. Yeah, and

But then it was like 3 a.m. And we're on tour and Yeah. Yeah. And but then it was like 3 a.m. and we're on tour and we're like, all right, when can we leave? And they were like, oh, he can't leave. Like, you can't check him out. You're not his guardian. And I was like, my God, you have to let me check him out. And they were like, no, his guardian has to. And I was like, if you make me call my mom at three o'clock in the morning on a work night, she's going to punch your face. Especially after begging for him to come.

Yeah, and like she didn't care about the injury. She knows that that just kind of comes with it. But I had to call her and be like, Mom, they won't let Dallas leave the hospital. Oh, I thought you were gonna say you broke him out. No. Like good time style. It was like one of those, like a sitcom. You like hand the phone and you just hear like.

Yeah, yeah. You're like, you know that my phone and you just hear like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, you know that my mom's just like really giving it to him. And they're like, all right, he's good to go. Jesus Christ. To the people. Like, yeah, let my boy out. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, we love fume. They open the ad by saying we love few straight to the point. Yeah, straight to the point. Why not? No foreplay. Just ram it right in.

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Yeah, I called my mom from jail one time and picked up and because she heard the, she heard the, um, you have a call from inmate, whatever the fuck, I pick up the phone and I just hear her, I hear silence and I'm like, is she mad? And then I realize that she's laughing so hard that she's like, like she's like completely silent and I was like, stop! There's like eight other women around me in jumpsuits just like, what's going on she's I'm like just stop laughing mom cut it out. She thought I was so She's I was like I was like mom stop. I'm serious. I'm wearing a jumpsuit. She's like I never called my mom from jail. I got a DUI once and I called my friend at like four in the morning.

He's like, yo, can you pick me up? He's like, what if I don't? And I go, well, then they're sending me to jail. And he was like, oh, god damn it. And I was like, you know what? Stay high. I deserve it. I shouldn't have been doing this. But also, I, dude, one, one time in eighth

grade, we, my mom was, uh, going out and she was like, look, do not play door, uh, ding dong, ditch. Did you call it that? Did you ever get that? Yeah. Of course. People call it like Dixie door number or something or ding door. Whatever. So we were like, we promised we'd. I used to play that. We went to do it. We hit the same house. And then on the last time we rock, paper, scissors to see who's going to shit in a bag and light it on fire. So I lost my buddy shit in the bag and I had to go knock on the door.

And so I'm walking up. And as I go to knock, this woman opens the door and she goes, what are you doing? And I go, I thought this was my friend's house that I just left. And she followed us. And dude, we, we ran, went behind the, we lived behind a shopping center. We ran, we hid and we're at a pay phone and we're like, what do we do? What do we do? And my stupid friend is like, you should call your mom. And I'm like, okay. He's like, yeah, she'll pick us up.

I go, dude, she's going to get pissed. He goes, let me call. She loves me. I'll take care of it. And I'll never forget. I put the coins in, dial the number, give the phone to my buddy. And all I hear is Mrs. Fy dance.

There's been trouble. I just hear my mom. Oh my God. And then she hear is Mrs. finance. There's been trouble. I just hear my mom like, oh, my god. And then she picked us up and made us all go to my room like she like crowded us all together. And they were like, we're so sorry. And we're in the room and we're just like cackling, laughing like

Jesus Christ. When I was in high school, my parents caught me at a party like drinking, smoking weed, like the whole nine yards. And my fucking stupid friend, I'm still friends with him, Jared Baron. We've been friends since eighth grade. Shout out. He was at the party and it was like so stupid. I was out back smoking a cigarette and my friend comes out and he goes, Brian, your parents are here. And I was like, shut up.

It's like you're trying to like ruin my high. And he was like, your parents are here. And people started to funnel out back because they were scared my parents were going to call the cops. And I was like, oh, fuck. So I go out front and my parents are in the minivan sliding door open just like this. No. Not looking at me at all. How old are you?

I'm probably like a sophomore. Yeah. Freshman or sophomore in high school. And I'm like, oh God. So I get in and like immediately give myself away because the minivan is empty and I go all the way to the back. I got to be as far away from them as possible. And my dad's like, have you been drinking? And I was like, no.

And like, I don't know what it is with my dad to this day. I can't lie to him. And it's as simple as him going, you've been drinking? No. And he's like, have you been drinking? I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I just like can't lie to him. Wow. And he's like, have you been smoking? I'm like, no. And he's like, have you been drinking? I'm like, yeah. Yeah. I just can't lie to him. And he's like, have you been smoking? I'm like, no. And he's like, have you been smoking? Yeah. So immediately get caught. I go home.

My parents are so mad and they're like telling me they're like. They were like all talk, but they were trying to scare me. And they were like, you're switching schools like I had skater hair. They were like, we're shaving your head. You're not allowed no, you fucking idiot. I found out later he was calling to make sure my mom wasn't going to call the cops on the party. Oh, hilarious. Just just quick question. You guys chill or you go back. So can Brian hang out?

Yeah. Brian come over. We'll just stay inside to play video games. Dude, I went to jail and my friend calls the jail and she's like, can I talk to Jordan? And they're like, here's your one phone call. And I was like, mom. And she was like, no, it's me. That was fucked up. How you got arrested back there? And I was like, yeah, dude, come on.

And she was like, I don't know. I hope you get out soon. And I was like, I got to go. And then they're like, that was your one phone call. I was like, they're like, we're making shirts already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got the air, they're like, we're making shirts already. Yeah. We got the airbrush. The free wheezy shirt.

Oh, yeah. Free, free JJ. Free my man Jordan. The one phone call thing is so weird. I called a tell from jail. I got arrested at the airport. And I had to call him and be like, I can't make the first gig. And then the police, I hung up and they're like, why do you have $500 cash on you?

And I was like, well, it's yours if you let me go. They go, are you bribing us? I was like, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. I don't have $500. You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, we have stick to your guns.

We work with them a bunch. Josh James, the guitar player, amazing storyteller. He told the story about he goes to an air an airport and like we always talk about like taking gear to an airport. Like, what's the most unfortunate band name to have spray painted on the side of your

guitar case? Like, imagine going to an airport and the woman's like, oh, you're in a band. What's it called? And you're like dying fetus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bomb the music industry. There was that pop punk band called Handguns. Oh, no. Oh, my God. But so we're talking about this was stick to your guns. And Josh is like, yeah, all my this with stick to your guns and Josh is like, yeah, all my

stuff says stick to your guns. And he's taking his guitar through security and they go, what do you got in here? A gun? And he goes, yeah, it's a gun. And the guy goes, God, no way. Oh, dude. Oh my god! They just have to like go through everything, search everything for like a fucking hour, almost misses his flight.

But just like him being sarcastic? Yeah. It's a gun. A guitar shaped case. A guy just yelling, gun! That's so fucked up. I wonder if the guy was yelling it because he's like bored worker, hates his job. Or if he was like, fuck you for being sarcastic,

let's do this. It's one of those jobs, like TSA and the Canadian border. It's like two jobs where it's like, I am allowed to be a dick, so I will be a dick as much as I can. I was going through TSA, I'm about to miss my flight. Right? Like I'm like, I have Coyote in my hands and I go through the thing and they always have to scan your hands

if you go through with a dog. You have to like bomb check your hands. And the woman he's like, can I have one of the tabs? And she's like, say please. And he's like, can I please have one of the hand things? And she's like, I don't know. And they're doing this whole exchange and I'm like on the clock and I'm like, if you guys could just and he's like,

come on, Charlie. And she's like, give me a second. I got to think about it. And it was like, dude, I almost it. And I had just gotten out of an Uber where a guy I was late for the airport and the same one. And he's like he's scrolling on his phone and reading stuff. And at one point I just snapped.

It was like, hey, buddy, I got to be somewhere. And if you could just read that that novel later, that would be great. And I got to drive after you dropped me off. It was so crazy. And dude, just when they were having this exchange, it took everything in me not to be like, can you guys fuck each other later? They would have taken longer if you did. Oh, dude, it's taking longer. That's why they took my, I hate when you go through TSA and you're fine and then on the way back they pick something out that you've gotten through the airport with before.

Has that ever happened? I have like a little butane lighter that's shaped like a gold bar and they took it. That's because you're leaving New York and you're coming back through a small town and small town places will fuck you up for everything. New York is like gun go through. They found brass knuckles on me after I got arrested for it.

And I was like, you can throw that out. And they did. And I was like, thank God. Or I was like, oh, good. Yeah. Oh, like fucking Tulsa or some shit. Yeah. But they the guy was taking my thing and I was like, man, I've. You're an idiot. Taking them after you got arrested for them. I am an idiot. I fucked up. You went to jail for it. And you're like, again, I don't want to do it again. them, by the way. I am an idiot. I fucked up. You went to jail for it and you're like, again?

I fucked up. Hey, fool me once. Wow. Fool you twice. Retarded. A retarded person that shouldn't be allowed to play. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. Do you have them on you right now? No. You so happen to have you.

That's crazy. No, no, no. They're right there. Yeah, yeah. No, those are decorative. These were... I also was like, it's a belt buckle. You can throw it out. Just like lobbing any excuse. But, uh, dude, the guy took my little gold bar lighter and I was so fucking pissed and he went through all my shit and I like, uh, you know how they still those COVID windows, you know, I stuck my head up and I was like, I bet you feel proud of yourself.

Do you feel like a big man? And then I like took my head out, put all my stuff in my bag and like came back and go, I'm having a bad day and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, Craig. Yeah, classic recovery OCD. Oh, you're like, I need to be a good person. I really try whenever I pop off, if I have a chance to go back and like apologize, I will. I just like see red. I never pop off.

Really? Wow. It must be a Northeast thing. Yeah, it definitely is. We've got that Southern. I hold it in. I never pop off. Cut to him on stage. Yeah. That's why I don't pop off because I have the release. Yes.

Yeah. But but I'm just like. When it comes to like stuff like that, I'm so bad about like when like service workers or anything, like just like standing up for myself, like they could just be so rude to me and I'm just like, OK, that's fine. What if what? So what happened to me as I was on a date one time with a sweetie pie cutie pants, such as yourself, and the server came over and started started writing, started filling out somebody else's check on our table.

And they were like, and I was like, is this our check? And they're like, no, I just didn't have room anywhere else. And I was like, I was like, what you're doing right now is insane. And they were like, what? And I was like, this is that's a crazy thing to do. But the person I was with was like, stop. Don't do. Are you like that? Like, you'll get embarrassed. I'm not. but I've been trying to like get better about it

like people are like crazy to me like get better about acknowledging it and my Way of doing that is like just going that's crazy Yeah, so like I'll just be in situations and like somebody will do something really rude. Yeah, let's go. That's crazy and they're like I guess I guess it was I'm sorry for being. I have like a little thing lined up in my head. Like this woman was being super rude at the impound lot. Cause we, me and my ex, her car got impounded and, uh, she was just being so rude and mean and, uh, I had a couple on me in the chamber and she was like, you really going

to make me go up and get this? I go, I'll be ashamed for you to actually do your job. And then she came back and when we were saying goodbye, I go, so interesting. You don't have a wedding ring on your finger. Surprising. And I know that stuck with it. Well, I think that's like the gay part of me coming out because I'll definitely if someone's rude I'll be like man that's ever lived Man who will die alone Surely man who dies alone. Oh, you're not married. Are you? Oh, it was a million toys falling out of his pocket Man who's sad about losing a gold lighter

That was I was one step away from being like, it's a shame your roots are showing. Your ends are split. Come on, girlfriend, straight girlfriend. The last time I popped off on somebody, the problem with me is when I finally get there, I go too hard and I was on a plane and I have a hard time flying and I was feeling very nauseous.

And we're on the descent, but we're like high enough to where it's like not a problem. I walk and I'm like, I need to go to the restroom. And the woman's like, you need to go to your seat. And I'm like, I'm about to throw up. She's like, go to your seat. And I was like, I'm about to throw up. She's like, go to your seat. And I was like, I'm about to throw up. And she was like, if we land and you're not in your seat, you're going to be sorry. And I was like, so where should I fucking throw up?

Yeah. And she just went, not my problem. And I went, thanks for your fucking help, bitch. And walked away. Yeah, that's great. And then I got to the seat and I was like, oh, God, I called her a bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Went too hard, maybe. But I was just like, dude, like, I'm literally sweating, like trying to throw up. And you're like, for I understand her doing her job and like, you've got to be. But for her to go up, my fingers, that's what I was going to say.

I was like, you should have just been like, oh, yeah. Like, I kind of understand when people were like spitting on each other during COVID, when people were like, put on a mask. Like I coughed on the subway. This was like two months ago and four people were wearing a mask and this woman looked at me and I, I coughed again by accident because I'm smoking and I heard her go, we need to leave. That man is coughing. And it made me want to go, oh, yeah. Yeah. You know.

Yeah. What was the. It's just a moment of anger. You just have to be like and walk away because I'll definitely like puke on someone. Coyote will do a thing when we walk in the airport, which is like, oh, shit, we're going on a plane. I didn't poop. I'm doing it right now. And it's-

Wait, wait. Right when we walk in. Wait, she poops in the airport. Oh, totally. Just a little tiny poop. Just like if she doesn't get it all out at the park before we leave, she'll be like, oh, sorry. And then she'll-

You're looking at her like that's the worst thing you've ever- It's tiny. It's a tiny little doll. It's tiny. And I scoop it up. You pick it up with a bag. Yeah, right? I just grabbed it with a bag. I threw it away and a woman is like, oh my she's like She's like, oh my god, that's disgusting and I'm like swine up again and I'm like you're all right

You're gonna be all right And she's like trying to get in an elevator and I'm'm like, oh, you oh, this is offending you. Like I was losing. Dude, she she got a tummy ache on the airplane last time we landed. And dude, I can feel her. She's like scurvy and she's like looking at me like, yo, this is bad. And I'm like, I know. Like she's doing a stretching thing with her body where I'm like,

you're going to fucking blow. We get off the plane and she's like, and immediately I see her start to squat and I put a blanket under and she explodes into the blanket. Just water shit into the blanket. I catch it all. A woman stops and she's like, she's like, oh my God, it's the air pressure. I'm sure that, you know, I help you and was like helping me. I was like, you are an angel. You are the best person of all time. Or I've had people where they see your shit and they go better to hear it on the plane. I'm like, that's what I say. But some people with the dog, they lose their f- one guy, dude,

the amount of times I get in trouble- I'm kind of on the woman that is like, dude, if you're a dog and you shit and then you walk into an airport and I'm like, this is where we get on our four hour flight, she immediately is like, dude, I'm sorry, like I can't shit on the plane. Yeah. And then she'll start to, you know what I mean? Like she'll look for. I feel that same way about babies when they cry. I want to be like, you should have prepared better. Man, I saw a guy the other day. Am I wrong? Doing this.

I think I'm wrong. What? Right? It's like irrational. You can't. It's just like, it sucks that I bring a dog on a plane when I'm not. Yeah, but that's. Retarded or something. What does that have to do with me? Why would I get pissed about that? Like now I'm like, why did I just judge you for that?

It's a white girl thing to have a small dog that takes a shit publicly, that's crazy. But it's also like, that's, that is an issue, but it's also like, I don't know, you're not a big poop. You're always worried about her pooping. You kind of have a little animal poop phobia, which I get. What about babies? I'm like, I just feel so bad for them. She's putting a cute little diaper. Little dippy. No it's a tiny turd. I give her the most accurate

amount of every food so that when she poops it is a fucking if I can't control my own bowels hers are perfect you know what I mean? She's great. Well, sometimes in a great room, she'll get something. Hey, wait. If you can't. My bowels are a nightmare. When I shit, I have to wait for six years. Shitting when you get off a plane. Yeah, dude. But not. The hard part is when we both have to shit and we have to fight over bite him. And we have to fight over who shits first. That's always a gamble where I'm like, I have to shit. She's like bitch. I will go right now

um But yeah, I pop off I pop off. What did I do recently? Oh the woman at the dog park fuck that fucking bitch I yeah, I freak out at people and I'll do like a full deconstructive thing where I'll be like, this is what you're doing Right now. This is why it's insane Oh, yeah that happened to that guy in the airplane when be like, this is what you're doing right now. This is why it's insane. Oh yeah. That happened to that guy in the airplane when I was like, you're not, you're not responding because you're a coward and you don't like confrontation.

Isn't that right? And he was like, yes. Sometimes you get a good one. Like a guy was drove by me the other day and was like, his window was right next to me. And he's like, what's up, baby. And I just turned in and I went, what is wrong with you? And then we both started laughing so hard because he was like, Oh, that's great. Cause he, you know, you expected to say that.

Winning in a pop off is like the best. Oh yeah. We had a, we did a festival once and I would say that 85% of the physical altercations in my life have been with security guards. Really? Oh dude, they- Because it's just some local that has like never been to a show that has no idea.

Yeah, and they don't understand. Yeah. So we played this festival and it was like an outdoor stage and there was a walkway from backstage to the front of the stage. It was just like this hallway. So we were like, let's go to the out front and watch the headliner. So we go to walk and they stop us at the front and they're like, you can't come out here. This is VIP. And we're like, okay, all good. We turn around and we go and they stop us at the back and they're like, you can't come back here.

Because the headliner was back there and we like couldn't be in their presence. And they were like, we were like, okay. So we go back to the front and we're like, we're just trying to get through to the general public and they're just like, you can't come back here. So I'm like, okay. So I go back to, and I'm like, yo, I'm going to my green room. I can see it from here.

And they're like, you can't come back here. You were performing? We had already performed. Oh my God. And I'm like, dude, I've got the fucking pass. So I start to kind of like ramp up and this, and we're'm like, dude, I've got the fucking pass. So I start to kind of like ramp up and this and we're in. Like Iowa, so the security guards are Iowa people. Yeah. So I'm like talking to this like giant guy that would just absolutely smoke me.

And I'm like, dude, what do you suggest me to do? Yeah, pick me up and carry me. Yeah. Yeah. Put me in a contraband bag and bring me to my green room. Yeah. And he's like, not my fucking problem. And then I just snapped and I was just like, the not my problem thing. Yeah. Furious. It's just exactly his problem. Yeah. And you are the solution to the problem.

So then I'm yelling at him like I'm going too hard. I'm like fuck you motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like looking up at him like he would definitely destroy me, but I'm just like going in on him. There's a woman security guard who had been mean all day. Like every time you walk past, she's like pass and she's just like rude. She sees that we're arguing and she just wants to get in on it. So she runs over And the band

laughed in the moment because of how Destroyed this little woman. Yeah, she like comes over and I'm yelling at this guy and she goes you can't come back here And I went who the fuck are you? Yeah. Yeah, And she went, I love a good Who the fuck are you? She just like froze and she went and got higher up security. And when she did that, the guy was like, Hey, you don't talk to a lady like that. And I went, What the fuck are you gonna do? I'm like screaming at him and then two security guards come and like put me in a full Nelson and drag me out. Really? Yeah, but I won against the lady. Oh yes. That's all that matters.

I roasted the fuck out of her. Yes. Wait, why couldn't you just be like, I played on this show. They just during, when you play like those festivals that have like- Oh it have a festival. Yeah. Like when the when the headliner is like fucking Iron Maiden or something and it wasn't Iron Maiden but when it's like they'll

have like a closed stage to make sure that like every person on the festival isn't trying to watch Iron Maiden on the side. So like they just had a closed stage and I was like I'm not trying to go to the stage. I'm trying to go to the dressing room. But when the security guards like fucking yanked me up and took me out back, they like threw me towards the dressing rooms and they're like, don't come back. And I was like, this is what I wanted.

This is what I asked for. Like you just escorted me to my dressing room. You just threw me at the prize. And another thing, that's your stuff in there if you want that. And my friend heard about it and he runs over and he's like, where are the security guards? Let's get it. And I'm like, dude, no, they're giant. And then the band was like, but you asking that woman who the fuck are you? They were like, that was funny.

Are you, do you guys drink? Well, only one member drinks. Really? Yeah. Not you. Our drummer, yeah. Nice. Altercation, no alcohol, the best.

Oh yeah. That's the best. That happened at the Kia Forum. I opened for Burt at the Kia Forum and they had a second floor, like VIP, like a backstage area and we were all going and I didn't get like a wristband or credentials. And they're like, sorry, you can't come back.

And we were like, oh yeah, I just got off stage. Like I'm on the show and he goes, wristband, sorry. And we had to get someone to come through. Other security had to come in. And my like pop off again was like so catty. I like got, they they got me through and we kept being like, dude, I'm on the show and he goes, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry. You have to, it's a rule. And then we walked away. I was like, do you feel strong? Dude, your pop offs are like a suburban mom. Yeah, they're like Oprah.

Dude, your pop offs are like a suburban mom. Yeah, they're like Oprah. I turned it down. I know. Do you feel strong? Yeah, that's crazy. He went home that day and was like, I don't feel strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a weak little man.

I got into an altercation. I talk about this in a half hour, but I was like, this guy, this kid put his shit in my bin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weren't they English too? So his bin. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Weren't they English too? So his bin gets pulled. And I'm like.

This is a child by the way. 17 or so, tall. And his bin gets pulled. He was like 12. So I'm late, cause his shit gets pulled and my shit's in his bin, cause he put his shit in my bin. And I go, and I was like,

keep your own shit to your own fucking bin next time. And then this like guy comes up like pissed like this. And I was like, oh man, I don't want to fight this guy's dad. And then he goes, he goes, um, don't talk to my son that way. And I just was like, he's British. And then I just lost my, I was like, what the fuck did you just say? I was like, you're going to make your son into a limp dick little pussy bitch speaking up for him. Tell him to come over here and talk to me himself. me and the dad and I'm like and and then the

Mom comes over and they're both like what did you say in the sun's hiding? I'm like, why is your little bitch son hiding over there? And they're getting closer and the TSA guys it's like five black dudes TSA guys and they're laughing so hard So you want yeah, so and then I'm kind of smiling cuz I'm like, yeah Yeah, and then finally they pull us off each other and like when somebody pull when somebody does that when they're like Break it up. Oh, I just let loose Your son's gonna live in your basement for the rest of your fucking life's little boast you asked wearing pussy little cup bitch I lost it dude that I Did I ever tell you this outside the stress factory I

This guy and I got into it him and his friends left And then they threw a bottle at me and it crashed in my feet and I got into it and him and his friends left and then they threw a bottle at me and it crashed in my feet and I was like yo fuck you, you fucking pussy. He's like oh yeah I'm a pussy. I go yeah you're a fucking pussy and he goes I'll show you pussy and he just ran up and tackled me. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And when he's coming at me I'm like that is. Yeah, I've had so many situations like that. Because it's all like, like I said, it's all security guards. I'm like, that's a joke, right? Like I said, it's always security guards. So I'm always like, they're always massive. And I'll like pop off and they'll respond. And I'm like, all right. I mean, I guess we got to do it.

Yeah, we played a furnace fest in Alabama and I fucking staged over during our set and it was a barricade. So the security guard caught me and put me down in between the barricade and they started to usher me off. And I was like, I'm in this band. And he like was like, you gotta go.

And I was like, I'm in this band. And- I'm singing in this band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And grabbed was like, I'm in this band and singing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like hard as fuck. And he yanked me. And I just saw Black and I just fucking

headbutted him. Oh, my God. Yeah. You are really you started off being like, I don't like confrontation. And now you're like, dude, I know you're like the sweetest little bumblebee. It's the adrenaline of the show.

One hundred percent. But I'm just like, I'm now like being choked out. The guy in front of me is looking at me with a look in his eyes. I've never seen in another person. Like I was like, this guy would murder me if we were in a room alone. And there's just like 20 security guards. My friends are flying off the stage to join in. Yeah. And like our one of our friends who actually like manages,

he's like one of our managers. He comes over and he's on stage pulling people off of me. And someone, a security guard comes up behind him, kicks him off the stage. He lands in between the barricade. It's knocked out. Oh, my God. The ground, they're stomping him out. Jesus. People start tackling those security guards from from.

It's like a riot. Yeah. And holy shit. I I like. How is this not the first story you told? Yeah, I like I snuck out of it. And this is song three. So I snuck out of it. And this is song three. So I snuck out of it. I get on stage, I grab the mic and I'm like, go, go, go.

Just act like it didn't happen. Just like, keep going, keep going. We start playing our guitar player, Isaac. He's playing and he sees that. Our friend that got knocked out is getting dragged to the back

and he comes over to me. There was like a video of it on Twitter, but I'm like playing and he comes over and he kicks me and he goes, they've got him and we all just drop our shit and run as fast as we can. And by the time I got over there, the promoter was there and we just. I looked at the stage and had like no joke, probably 80 friends. And I was like, I'm good to go whenever. Yeah. Whoa. And like. Ran over to him and I'm like, what's the word? Like, give me the green light.

And he's just like, no, it's done. It's done. Like he was like the person I met would have been like green light. But now that he's like businessman, he was just like, no, no, no. But where was he? He was good. Where was your knocked out friend? That's who I'm saying was like, no, it's all good. They pulled him to the side to like give him water and make sure he was all good. Oh, I thought they pulled him to the side to like swarm from dusk till dawn.

I didn't know they knocked him out because I was in the middle of everything. Right, right, right. So I thought that it was just me and some security guards and my friends pulling him off. And then when I get off and I noticed that they fucked him up, I was like, OK, now it's go time. Yeah. And it's so funny because. I I'm glad that I was stopped because I probably could have. I mean, I definitely could have gotten arrested for it. But my first instinct was to grab the mic and like just straight up inside a riot.

And I grabbed it and the promoter came up to me both hands over my hands like this. And he just looked at me and went, please don't. Oh my God. And I said, I want every security guard out of this building or we're not continuing the show. Yeah. And he made them all go and then all the promoters and people that were working on the stage were catching crowd surfers for the rest of the set. Oh that's the best. And the set was amazing. That's awesome. Dude that's awesome. It was crazy yeah. So he made them all leave so they all

had to walk out with their stupid tails between their legs That's great. I like fat guys that can't fit on a roller coaster So they get they even if you're in the band they're like, I don't care this they didn't know it was too much chaos and But they don't do they respect bands or are they like we respect the venue You know how sound guys sometimes are like fuck the band. I work with the venue. Oh, yes. Yeah, I don't know. I think that it's a roll of the dice and I think that like I can't fault them for in the moment being confused because there's so many people coming over the barricade. Yeah. And then one of them goes, I'm in this band.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, you have to think like they're probably not fans of that music. They're just they're working, carrying kids around. They're like, they're probably not fans of that music. They're just there working, carrying kids around. They're tired. They like don't wanna be there. And then a lot of them are fucking dicks anyway. So they're trying to like throw their power around. So it was fine until he'd like snatch me up and then I just like exploded,

but could have been way worse. It was fine. You could have been way worse. It was fine. You could have told all your people to attack. Yeah, or they could have just like fully whupped us. Or you could have been like fucking Fred Durst at Woodstock and be like, fuck this shit up. Yeah. What did he do?

Fred Durst. It's like the reason why all that shit went south at Woodstock. They were playing break stuff and it just started to break stuff. And I set shit on fire. And why Woodstock got shut down? Yeah, we played a festival with with him in Belgium. No shit. And there were straight up like seventy thousand people there. And me and Taylor were like, let's see if the stage is closed.

And we walked over it and we walked straight up on stage that nobody stopped us. So we were just watching Limp Bizkit side stage in front of like so many people. You can't see where it is. They didn't stop you. Oh my God. Because it's like they're, they're pro mayhem. I think that, yeah, I think that their camp is just like chill. Yeah.

And so we're watching side stage and they play break stuff and like live they do the bridge like for two minutes. Yeah. He just like talks to the crowd and he gets every he makes you really, really. Oh yeah. The bang on. Yeah. Gang gang. So like he's talking to the crowd and whatever.

And then I'm standing me and Taylor standing on the side and there's like a group of people. Their DJ comes over and grabs this dude that's standing next to me and he pulls him over and he gives him a mic and he does the big like, break your fucking face. And they kick in. And I literally had a thought where I was just like, this is the moment that destroyed Woodstock. Like I'm looking at 70,000 people and I'm like, whoa. And then this guy does the big vocal moment.

The song ends, the DJ immediately starts playing a Cypress Hill song and this guy performs a Cypress Hill song. And when he's done, Fred Durst is like, everybody make some noise for Sin Dog from Cypress Hill. And I was like, whoa. And then he just comes over and he stands right next to me again.

And I was like, like my both my parents like raised me on hip hop. So I was just like, I was way more excited about the fact that I was standing next to the dude from Cypress Hill than I was watching Limp Bizkit. Yeah, I was like pulling up pictures of him holding it to the back of his head, looking at Taylor going. That's your parents listen to rap? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Both of them? Yeah, my parents are... They were pretty young when they had me. So in the 90s and stuff it was just like East Coast hip-hop really. Yeah. Rave diggers? Yeah like... M.O.P. Jurassic 5? Rock Him. Eric B and Rock Him was like one of my dad's favorites Rosal. Yeah

What's your thing biggie? I mean biggie probably has to be my all-time favorite. Yeah, but Ice cube is up there for me probably in my top three like his solo stuff when he branched off from NWA Busta rhymes like early Busta Rhymes. Thoughts on Ice-T and Body Count? Ice-T is awesome. I like, I personally like Ice-T more than Body Count, but I like both. But we played with Ice-T. We did Every Time I Die's Christmas Show and Ice T played. And I was so

excited to see him and I was like, I hope he plays six in the morning. And I remember my dad had a cassette tape of six in the morning. So I'm just kind of like hanging out backstage and Body Count records with Will Putney, who Knocked Loose has recorded with.

And Ice T walks straight up to our drummer and he goes. Knocked Loose, he was like, yeah, and he goes, Will Putney only fucks with dope shit. Oh, my God. And I was like, let's go. And then his DJ, his DJ starts the set. It's just his DJ out there getting people hype. He's just sitting in a chair backstage. He's just like this.

And I'm just sitting there like watching him like fly on the wall and I'm like, I wonder how this set's going to be. And the DJ's like, make some noise for Ice-T blah blah and the crowd goes crazy. And he's like, I said make some noise. The crowd goes crazier. Everything goes quiet. Ice-T stands up and he goes, six in the morning and then the beat stage losing my mind it was so fucking sick that's awesome damn I want iced tea to say some fucking iconic iced tea line to me not gonna happen maybe someday it might what if he's like, uh, yo, I love booty ho. You have a taste, D-Dookie. I think we have to wrap. Yeah. What time is it? How are we deep?

Uh, yeah, we're good. Oh, I feel like I didn't ask all of my I just. Ask one more. Okay, do you miss do you miss not being huge and being able to play little freaky spots with little freaky bleeple? No because we still do. You do. Yeah, like we and I love having the option like we just did. We were a couple of weeks ago, we had, well, I guess a month ago now, we did a pop up with Uncle Polly's deli in Los Angeles.

Whoa. So the band had to fly out to LA and I was like, while we're all here, let's just play a show. And like there's like this like DIY spot in LA called the Midnight Hour Record Store that does hardcore shows. And I've been since I've moved to LA and I was like, man, this would be such a fun venue to play. So we just like hit up some we hit up some friends. They weren't available. It snowballed into like this legendary lineup. It was supposed to be just us and some friends, but it ended up being we announced it like the day before and we were like first come first serve.

It was a, I think 400 cap room, no barricade. And it was, it was knocked loose, cosmic joke, mongrel, beyond repair, which is the original throwdown lineup. Yeah. That's crazy. And twitching tongues and us and just cause they're all were in LA. Yeah. Like literally we said hit up beyond repair like as a joke. And our manager was like they're down. And we were like, oh my god. OK.

And then we hit up Dead Body, which is like members of Twitching Tongues. And Colin, shout out to Colin, he FaceTimes me. And he literally goes, Dead body can't play the show. And I was like, that's all good, man. Like I understand. And he went. Twitching can.

Wow. And I was like, you're insane. Yeah. I was like, that is fucked. So the best. Yeah. I came together like so well. It's like such a like awesome legendary show and like we still do that.

It's just like it's cool now because we have the option like we can do two nights in New York and like massive venues but then that sounded really braggy and I didn't mean it to but no it's good also we're just like no this

would be fun let's do this and yeah we did Lollapalooza in Chicago and we were like what if we also played a hardcore show and we just like played Cobra Lounge to like 200 kids? That's awesome. Yeah, cause you can just cut off the, yeah, you can just cut it off. That's crazy.

I mean, that is, yeah, that is the dream. That is like in comedy when people do theaters and then you'll see them do like a club tour and you're like, that club tour is gonna be so fun yes it's just you're right in people's faces there is no like the metaphorical barricade of the stage being yeah 50 feet back. That's why I don't like theaters. I like small clubs. I love theaters. I really like doing it. I like a big stage to stomp around on yeah but like some theaters it's just the distance, yeah, between you and them is a lot. The lighting is fucked. And then you're like, am I dying in the back? Like sometimes the laugh doesn't carry. And then town hall is 86 feet from the stage to the back wall. And it's very

vertical so you can hear everything from there. But some theaters, man, they're just, I don't know. I love small little venue This is interesting. I just thought of this when you said the lighting would and I'm assuming this Obviously varies depending on the size of the room, but like would a comedian tour with their own like lighting crew. No never Unless you're gay unless you're like, you know Never, never. Unless you're gay. Unless you're like, you know, a hack. Yeah. You could. Maybe Sebastian does or something. Like if you're doing a special. Because it's probably just like, it's just like lights on.

Yeah, like literally you can show up to the venue and be like, yeah, turn that down. If you travel with like, if you travel with a fucking PowerPoint, you know, maybe like an alt thing or you have some special thing. Bro, burn them. Or if you, yeah. You've got a hack who I love. Or if you, I guess like if you're in an arena and you have like crowd moments, you would want the lights to kind of like reflect that, right?

Oh yeah, arena. Yeah, maybe like, yeah, Bird or Nate Borgazzi or Tom. When I saw Adam Sandler. The suburb I was just with and he just has his trainer. Oh, dude, yes, Adam Sandler. Purist, same. Oh yeah, we bonded about that. We bonded over Adam Sandler. Yeah. Purist. Cause that's same. Oh yeah. We bonded over Adam Sandler. Like within the first 10 minutes of meeting. I don't know how it came up, but yeah. I don't

know. There's, there's not, there's one Adam Sandler movie that I don't like and you insisted I revisit. What is it? What is it? Jack and Jill. Did you rewatch it? I haven't yet, but I told this story the other day cause someone said it was good and I was like, oh, you're like the second person I've ever met that stands by it. Bro, rewatch it. It is such a classic slapstick comedy. I even like the serious stuff. He's so good at the serious stuff. Sandler is the all in my he's in my dream blunt rotation, even though I don't smoke Yeah, you would be in my dream coffee circle. Yeah, I guess that would be my My version of your your dream What's it what's the shot that you take vibe organic immunity booster Adam standards in my immunity booster.

You're right. Me and Adam Zellers in our Tumeric and Ginger. I think you would. I think you'd be down. It's sick once you get to a certain age where you're just like, I just want to feel good. I just want the dude, give me a pillow. Just give me a good pillow.

Give me a fucking. It is like, even when I watch movies where people stay up all night, like falling in love the whole time I'm like, they're gonna have a really bad day the next day. It's gonna be really hard on them Things that like require me to be like extremely tired the next day feels like it's like uh, Like a prison sentence It's like something that i'll never recover from like if I have a flight and i'm like if I don't get eight hours before This flight I will never recover from. Like if I have a flight and I'm like, if I don't get eight hours before this flight, I will never recover.

Dude, the person who showed me all hardcore, including you guys, Josh Wagner, shout out great comedian. He was like, every time I go home, it's like, if I don't have 12 hours from when I'm going to bed to waking up, it's a nightmare. And I was like, that's a hundred percent true. If I'm- Oh yeah, then it bleeds into the rest of your week.

Yeah, you know when you're doing this in bed, when you're counting how many hours you have, you're like one, two, three, yeah. You know, it's the worst. This feeling is the worst. When you take the alarm and you're like, I could do 30 more minutes. Yeah. You put it at like six 30 AM instead of six AM. I've been fucking up and staying up until like eight or nine. That's not good. And then coming out of my shell when it's dark. Dude, you want a life changer? Magnesium.

You take that shit? Listen to me, calm magnesium, you take two tablespoons, you have a perfect shit in the morning and you sleep like a fucking baby. My trainer just gave it to me because I was like, dude, I'm eating so much protein, I have that shit in three weeks, help me. And't sleep and she's like here you go change my life You'll take it in the morning or before you go to bed before you go to bed. It is

Incredible. Yeah touring your schedules all fucked up. Yeah, yeah, cuz I'm like It's the only thing getting off stage at 11 with so much adrenaline. Yes I'm just like I couldn't go to bed right now Even if I tried. That was me the other night after the cellar. I didn't get home until 3 30 in the morning. Magnesium. And I rode my bike home, so I'm all like, you know?

You're also chugging coffee. Yeah. Like a monster. And then I obsessively play solitaire. Oh, boy. I play water sort on my phone. Mm. You heard of it?

I've been getting into gin rummy. I'm on level 1500 what Yeah, well, holy shit I deleted all the games off his phone I found out like I'm like a downloaded more No, I'm like a fucking iPad kid like I found out that one of the only things that like Helps me with my like flight anxiety is playing games on my phone Dude before I'm having a panic attack before going on stage when I was opening for sagora It's like arenas and I was like dude What if I go on stage and I start getting on all fours and pulling my hair out and barking like a dog

You know when you have those thoughts we're like, what if I guess you're allowed I get nervous every show Yeah, I just do crossword puzzles. And I just, that's all. That's the thing. I think of you about that, cause I do Sudoku. Yeah, it really helps. And like Jordan, and I try to do crossword puzzles when I can't get it, I get so angry.

So I just go back to Spades and Gin Rummy. Yeah, I just do Mondays. Do you want to play, have a card night? Yeah, I do. Really? Yeah. That'd be so old school cards. Man, I just did a crazy thing this morning.

I was, I'm looking at cabins. I was like, should I just rent a lake house so my whole family can go there? I have money. My niece can go. And I was like, that's fucking crazy. And at that moment, my manager texts me and goes, me and my other manager thinks you need,

think you need to take some time off. And I was like, no, okay. And I booked it. That's cool. That's great. When? I know, July. Whoa. Yeah, I know. You should's cool. That's great. Yeah. I know July. Whoa. Yeah, I know you should go back up to Wess's. Yeah

Although that place pisses me off. Why it's so beautiful You know when you go into somebody's place and like everything is so curated Just allow it and you're like, how do you how do you have like a 200 year old Jade plant? How do you have manuka honey? Like how do you know to buy these things at the store? How do you know to put that picture right next to that skull? Because you're the singer of the lumineers. I know. It's just like one of those things where you're like, no, I know it's his wife.

Like I know the woman in the house is like, you know, it would be nice if this was slightly tilted to the left. And it just makes me be like, how do you do this? Did I tell you I went to a party at their place on the Upper West Side? We're all hanging out. I can't talk about this. And they know Ray Cliff is there. Yeah, yeah.

And he's playing MSG. Can you ask him if I can go please? We can go. Really? Yeah. Okay. Uh, whatever the third month is. March, February, March. Why'd I say that? Why'd I say the third month? I don't know. First three are the easiest. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I would say the first three in the last. I don't even know what the last is. December, December 31st birthday. What are you saying? Huh? You went to a party. Oh, and oh yeah. You told me this. Everybody was, was there. We're all hanging out. And then I go to say goodbye to Wes's wife and we're at the front door and she's like, Oh, you guys have to check in out. He's a very funny comic, little inappropriate. Yeah. And as I'm leaving, I hear her go, no, very, very inappropriate.

Do not Google him. It's very a lot. That's awesome. He got later. Fuck shit. Fuck suck. Dude, you're the man. Thank you so much for coming. This is the fucking best. It's been a long time coming and I'm so we're both so happy. Tonight. Yeah, we're gonna see you tonight. You guys are getting everything you deserve. When's your sound check? It's done. I did it. You did it. You're done. Something crazy. We have two sound guys and they're both so nerdy. That's good. And I love roasting them whenever I can. And they do this thing called a virtual check where they record the show from the night before and then they sound check with the audio of the recording,

which I guess is common, but it's brand new for us and it's fucking insane. That's so cool. Because I'm just like in the dressing room like having breakfast and I hear like, Pittsburgh! Yeah. That's so cool. I hear myself I hear like Pittsburgh. Yeah.

Hear myself yelling about another city. Wow. That's sick. That's awesome. What are you going to do? Want to plug anything? Our brand new album just came out. You won't go before you're supposed to. It's so good. We are currently number two in the world for vinyl sales

right after Taylor Swift. So please help us. Holy shit. Is that true? Yeah. I don't know why it's like, we're in the process of like, the record's been out for like two weeks now. So we're getting all these statistics back and they're just like absolutely mind blowing. And that was the, that's crazy. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I'll buy vinyl tonight. I've been buying, buying vinyl and I don't have a record store. What? Really? Yeah. That's crazy. 14th and first, let's go.

14th and A, right now. Oh, no, we're going to go to his show. Oh, OK. And we'll buy it there. Yeah, we have it there too. We're going to just, yeah. We're not going to go to Target right now. Well, you said we could go to Target.

No, we're not going to go to Target right now. I need socks. What am I plugging? A bunch of tour dates are up there. I don't know where I'm at. So I Texas. Oh, Des Moines, dude. Funny Bone sucks.

It's hard. It's hard to go into a mall and do comedy. But if you guys come, it'll be less bad. But that might be too soon. Hartford, Connecticut. make that not suck too. It's another mall. Another mall. Help me out. I just did Mall of America.

Yeah, you didn't help him out, did you? No. So help me out. Some you did, but... I'm going to sell posters and R.I.P. Jordan Jensen is up. It's mental health stuff. We got me getting into a fight with Ismail Lupfi about me just saying, you are not Muslim. What? Yeah. It just made the whole time being like, I don't believe you.

He's like, he's dumb. Muslim. He's dumb. He's muzzy from Ismail. I know he speaks Arabic. I know. You're I just was like, I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I just don't believe it. When people are like, I think there are angels. It's just crazy, it's crazy. There are angels. I know your dad's in heaven. Go ahead, plug your shit. I was gonna say she's sitting on the couch, but good God almighty.

And he's in heaven and here with us. Hello, papa. He's alive, he's not dead, everything's fine. I'll see you Monday then. You're a good boy. We'll have to catch one more time. Dick is huge. Yeah. You're fine. You're a good boy. We'll have to catch one more time. Dick is huge.

Sunnyvale, California. Eugene, Oregon. Naples, Florida. Rochester, New York. Punchup.live slash Ian finance for all my dates. Patreon.com slash B& E and pod. You guys are the best. Thank you so much. This was so fun and I'm fucking excited for tonight.

Oh yeah. Thank you say anymore.