Bein' Ian With Jordan - Big Pops W/ Myka Fox & Tim McLaughlin | Bein' Ian with Jordan #169

Episode Date: October 23, 2025

Hilarious comedy couple (they will absolutely hate me for this) Myka Fox & Tim McLaughlin hang with mommy & daddy to talk about their favorite moments coming up in stand-up, what it's like running a pod together (Great Hang Podcast rips), and a lil drama. Plus, Jordan goes into it about what happened to her on Twitter. Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast -Try your first month of BlueChew for free, just pay $5 for shipping. Use code SKA at https://www.bluechew.com -The best way to cook just got better. Go to HelloFresh.com/SKA10FM to get 10 free meals + a free item for life. One per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. -Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code IAN at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/ian #chubbiespod Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Follow Myka Fox here: https://www.instagram.com/mykafox/ Follow Tim McLaughlin here: https://www.instagram.com/hot_comic69/ Follow their show Great Hang Pod here: https://www.instagram.com/greathangpod/ Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Outro song: Title Holder “It Doesn’t Matter” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Telling jokes and having smokes, riding bikes all through the night. It's a wild ride when you're being in. Coffee ice no matter what. Now you know he likes it in the butt. It's a wild ride. When you're being in, being in and life is shit with you're positive.

positive let's find out what it's like to live alive being in being in with Jordan every

girl and guy in my life knows how important you are to me and they desperately want your approval oh thank you so much and they want because they know how much I love and care for you

so they want to be like they want your approval because I love and care for them and that's exactly how you treat it so that's why the girls in my life want you I'm so rude to them out the gate and then women have this thing

where you have to win over more masculine women or else we feel like cussies that's very true you give them the mystery treatment you nag them out of the gate I nag him out of the gate and they're hooked why do you walk like that Why do you have a limp when you're walking? Because I walked in, I was like, where's your shirt? And then the rest of the time, she was just like, I'm a person, I'm a real person.

I'm like, are you? Because there's still no shirt. Do you remember Tommy? Yeah. You really liked Tommy. But Tommy was autistic. Yeah, but she also... Can't game an autistic person.

Unwinnable. She also told me she, like, intentionally introduced herself to you in a way that would make you think that you were higher up. Yeah. Because she wasn't, like, bubbly. she was like oh hey jordan and you were like i like this girl she was like hey jordan i'm tommy and i was like good yeah so tommy got on like a knee and like grab jordan's hand kissed it no that's what's not unacceptable oh you don't like that nice to me oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's when he has girls that'll come in and be like like that girl just did a perfect example of

what not to do where you walk and he go oh my god i love your skin and i go oh what do you want to wear it get the fuck away from you but that's like that's like she did the thing you're not supposed to to do, which was greet me with kindness. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I love your skin and everything about you. I think you're so funny. What are you the biggest bitch alive?

What the fuck? It's my fault, though. Like, I go into stores and they'll be like, what can we get for you today? And I'll flip out. I just lose my mind. Dude, if I weren't at a store and you came in, I would sell you something in a heartbeat by being like,

hey, you got dirt on your face. I'll buy anything you want. Yeah, this would make you look like Clint Eastwood's younger brother. Yeah. I wish I got one compliment. I walk in the house and Micah goes, fat. Fad. He's fat.

Fat guy. We could change that if you want. Things could happen. Mike, I don't see how this is my fault. This is, I am so happy you guys are here. Welcome to another episode of Be and Ian with Jordan. I'm Ian Finance. This is my esteem co-host and partner, Jordan Jensen.

I'm so happy you're here. My makeup's still on. Did I... What? My makeup's still on. I'm not taking it off. And I will probably apply more. Yes.

We're ramping up to the Halloween episode. We did just film it, but this is coming out before it. Oh, nice. And I am in makeup. I might wear a wig. I don't care. And I am so excited that you guys are here because you two are two of my favorite people, very funny comics. Power couple extraordinaire.

Oh, it's true. I was like, wait, what's the opposite of Power Couple? What's the term for when they drag each other down to the bottom? This. You don't even get sex out of it? Yeah, yeah. It's just all hurt. You're just in a sexless, angered marriage.

Yeah, I mean, that's the same thing we got going. Yeah. You mean we ain't so different, brother. When you walk in, she goes, fat. And when I walk in, she goes, gay. Gay, gay. Gay. Fat and gay coming through.

And when you call me gay, I just don't know why. When you do it like that, you look like, you know. Honestly, that kind of lipstick is so wrong for you that it's the least gay thing about what's going on. Yeah, that's true. That's true. What lipstick would be good for me? Yes. Billy Madison.

Yeah. What is a good shade for me? No one here could answer that. Maybe none. Maybe just the shade of shit. You look at Rumsum. Joe, how long you guys been together? Six years.

Please back up, sir. I want to do more makeup while you interview our guests. On you or me? To you. Yes. Oh, this is good. This is like a get ready with me. Get ready with you.

Sorry, sorry. Sorry. I was just having a face. All right. My bad. Keep it off. Keep it off. I have to do your makeup. This is good.

This is good. You look nice, Ian. Thank you. All right. Interview our guest while I do your makeup. Okay. So how long you guys have been together? Six years we've been together

Tim you and I have a fun origin story Why don't you sure we do So Ian messaged me because he was coming to Chicago Where I formally lived And he said Tom Takar and Tommy McNamara said That you have a couch that comics can crash on I said sure you come on over Ian gets there

We're on the same laugh factory show That very night Wow I go up I'm hosting the show Bomb I bombed I bombed God I did a bad job hosting And Ian's in the back. I'd go to the bathroom. This was like two weeks ago.

I go to the bathroom. Can I tell you real quick prior to this? Some documentary came out about you prior and you talked about how much you sucked and everyone was like, Tim is the worst. And I thought it was like a bit. And I was like,

this is the most highbrow, like interesting. There was a bit. Oh, what? Yeah. But then in your real life, you're like, I suck. And I was like, oh, he really does suck. Yeah.

No, in real life I do suck too. But the documentary, it's called Terrible Comedian. I think it's on my thing. It is also a bit. It's so funny. Oh, thanks. Go ahead. So we're on the same show.

I bomb. I go to the bathroom to take a piss. And there's this weirdos standing next to me. And he goes, hey, man. So I thought you were really funny. I'm really sorry the audience didn't give you that much. I'm like a big fan of Ian. He's weird.

It makes like me feel okay being weird. And then he's continued to talk. Was he weird? Yeah, he was very weird. He looked like Nosferrati. So we continue to talk. We're watching hands together and I see out of the reflection

in the mirror that Ian's taking a shit. And I go, well, Ian's taking a shit right now. You could probably talk to him while he finishes up. The motherfucker waited. No. In the bathroom. In the bathroom. Waited.

And Ian and I had never really met before that. It was a perfect intro and I loved him off the bat. And then I got to sleep in Tim's bed because like Wednesdays are for gambling or some bullshit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're timid to leave town to go gamble. Yes. Because he wasn't making enough selling window shades at the time or some shit.

He wasn't losing enough eating candy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, I go, well, I would go to Michigan to hang window coverings and then stay and gamble at the casino. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So, but you left Ian in your home alone, which I think is a bigger gamble. Well, here's the thing.

I trusted Ian because he said, I'll bring my own. towel something nobody does I thought that was a good sign of I always when I stay somewhere I bring my own towel I bring my own slippers is that because you get a little bit of poop on it and you wipe you wish because it's polite

it is polite although you were skinny dipping in Jason Ellis's pool that's polite too because there's chlorine you're washing your ball guess what I'm getting a pond what the fuck well I can't wait to fucking jump naked you can I'm so glad you didn't wait for us to guess yeah yeah

Fucking pond. You get a boy and shit? I don't know. Nice. Frogs for sure. Yeah. Oh, frogs are tight. I caught a frog.

I was in Indianapolis. Literally, there's a quote that's like tighter than a frog's twat. Yeah. It's really fucked up. It's a carpenter, too. What's fucked up about having sex with a frog? They don't know. They can't consent.

Oh, they should be celibate forever. You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm doing the whole Virgin Mary whore thing, and I need to stop doing that. That's called Madonna and the whore. Madonna and the whore. That's what I do with frogs, and I got to stop.

You got to be giving good in game, Jordan. I know, I know. I got to let the frogs live. I really do. I caught a frog before I was going to the bars one night when I was like 22, and I put it in my hat. And then at the bar. He got laid so much that night.

At the bar. I wanted to fuck a frog in the hat guy. At the bar, I kept picking up my hat, and there was a frog in there. And people were like, oh, this guy's got a frog. God, I know that guy so well. I know that breed of man so well at the bar. We're like, that guy over there has a frog in your hat. And you're like, all right.

And he did this while he still had hair. I still had hair for the frog to pull. Do you not have hair? Well, I got some hair. Yeah. That's great hair. Yeah. I mean, I just got my hair cut. Can I just say, you got to be nicer to frogs and you got to be nicer to whatever this is.

Shut up. A frog. Shut the fuck up. You look ridiculous. Damn, get him, Michael. Do I haven't seen my dog? Dude, last year, you do look like divine a lot. Yeah.

This is divine. Just need a black eyebrow and you're good. And soon you'll be eating dog shit right off the ground. I love the dog shit. Because I'm cheap, cheap. I feel like soon you'll have a gang of twinks like fucking John Waters does in Baltimore, Ian. I'm not in the twinks. No, but you just have them around to do stuff for you like John Waters does.

You don't need to be into them. They're just kind of like you. They're 45-year-old women who look 20 and who just literally just do stuff for them and don't have sex with them. It's basically the same thing. Imagine not wanting to have sex with Ian so much so you're willing to just do chores. He's like, suck my dick. It's like, do you need to ironing or?

I'll decorate the studio. It's called being a friend. I have friends. They all do things. With me. Your friends do things. With me. For you.

Even like that one time, Zach, I was like, I need help carrying this wardrobe. And he was like, I got it and put it on his back. Because people care about me. That's nice. What are you doing for other people? Your friends care. I do a lot for other people. He said shaking his head, no.

That was not stalking. That was I played being quirky wrong. He goes after comedians who attacked me online. That's nice. Okay. All right. I've seen you. that and I think to myself

that's a good friend but when shit when the shit storm comes for me I'm like I'm unplugging I'm walking away it'll die out dude everybody that attacks me online you guys it's so funny they'll be like they'll be like Jordan is so fucking retarded ugly bitch just like Ian every time

every comment is like wild almost as much as Ian sucks yeah yeah yeah he's made this bitch way more retarded and ugly yeah yeah yeah and then And then I'll see that and be like, hey, I'm just existing. Like, oh, shit, that's my problem. If people talk about me the way they talk about Tim, I'd kill myself.

Yeah. I would quit. I would quit comedy for sure. It's crazy how you haven't. What the what do you mean? I mean, I get big pops. I think we got to let that be known. Oh, dude.

I love you. Do you remember when we did that commercial together? I love you. The one I directed. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, we got Bonnie to direct it, but I, yeah. Right.

That was awesome. It was because I heard that you were complaining about it to everybody. Oh, that's so funny because in my mind, I thought I was telling a funny story. Really? Yeah. Oh. I wasn't complaining at all. Wait, really?

I thought it was fucking hilarious. I heard you were furious about it. About what? Really? Tell people what happened. I wasn't furious at all. Pause, tell the people. Yeah, we need to know.

I also did the same commercial. Oh, oh. What was the commercial? perspective and then I'll tell mine. Wait, did you think I was like talking shit? No, I only do that on the podcast when people hate Jordan. So I kind of been doing it a lot. I didn't think you were talking shit.

In fairness, and I will explain what it was, I did exploit you. So if you are upset. And also in fairness, I didn't put up with it like everyone else did. I was the only one. This is a good time for me to tell after the dipstick story. You remember. Go ahead. Everyone else did some like fucking

Humilating shit. It was like humiliating. I didn't do that. The commercial we did for the sex toys. Oh yeah. So I had a show that I did for Comedy Central that was like a branded content series and it was called sellouts where I would tell comics I knew

that they were auditioning to be in a commercial and then like just have hidden cameras like and also like a regular camera but a bunch of others and see what I could get them to do to sell out to be like the spokesperson for this ad. So like, the one I had for Tim and Ian were in it was for Hardee's. Carl's Jr. and Hardys. It was both of them.

Yeah, Carl's Jr. Hardys. Well, it changes on the west and east of the Mason Dixon. So I had to have them. Dude, do I look like this right now? Yes. Dumbass. You look fucking stupid and shit. God, yeah.

Now your face looks like your leg. It's a filter. Micah made me buy. bite a shoe and it loosened one of my teeth. That's on you. When you asked me to bite the shoe, that's when I was like, I'm not fucking doing this. You asked me to dance and bite a shoe. And that's when I was like, no, I'm not doing that.

Fuck this. Fuck whatever day rate you're giving me. I can hear some, where's Bonnie? I kept going, where's Bonnie? How did you know Bonnie was there? Because I know you guys are thick as thieves. That was the craziest part. At that point, I was like, did Bonnie fucking rat?

But no way. So it's a bit where you're being like Let's see how far they can go to get money Yeah like I was like Because it's like comedians are such fucking sellouts And I'm like you see what they do To like get any fucking little thing So I'm like oh will you fucking cry on camera

Will you sing us a little song Will you blah blah blah And meanwhile it's like they're holding like Well you pretend like if you were a Carl's Junior Whopper how would you take a shit like shit like that Oh wow wow wow wow Not that because they would have not aired it But like you know and I fucking put my foot down

I don't need this I'm not doing it It was kind of, where did you put your foot down? No, like, verbally, I said, I'm done. Right around the time, I know, but where, like, what was the thing that? I had four fingers in his asshole. Yeah. He was like, oh, he would have been like, yeah, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I put my foot down to get a better angle.

Right there, right there, right here, right here. You can fit another one. I mean, no, James, give her the rat. James, give her the rat. She's staring at it. But I was, no, no, I, the way I told the story I thought was it, I was proud of myself for not going going further. And I thought it was great that that was what the commercial was.

And I took it as like, whoa, I like valued myself. I finally have like found boundaries because I put I was like, yo, I don't need this. I'm not doing it. I'm leaving. Fuck that. I'm not dancing for you. And I'm not biting a shoe. Where's Bonnie?

And that's when everyone came out was like, oh my God, blah, blah, blah. And I heard that I was the only one that did that because everyone else was like, I'll bite a shoe. Yeah. I'll hump the ground. Tim lost a tooth. Well, I didn't lose it. It just got loose him. How did he not know what you were doing?

He knew. Oh, no. But I also, Micah just tells me to do things and I do them. And unlike Ian, unlike Ian, I needed that day rate, baby. But that was that in a big way. I needed a rigor as well because I was like, what if everyone Ian's out and like doesn't want to do it or like it's legitimately upset? Can I tell you a fat retard to go ahead and do everything? I knew something was up when they made me sign contracts for an audition.

Yeah. And they miced me up and did makeup. And I was like, this is. And then I walked in and I was like, where's the client? And you were like, oh, we're sending this to them. It's just me and the cameraman. And I was like, oh, okay. Which is actually normal.

The client's not in on auditions. Oh, when I was doing in person, the client would be in there. Huh. But was it being, was it an audition you were doing? Yeah. It was like. And then, but then Ashton Womack, you actually got him to be like, I'm Ashen and I'm a sell out.

Yeah. We got him all to say that too. I was like, that was like, that was like, that how we let him know? I didn't say it. Okay, can you read this to the camera? I'm Ian Fydance

and I'm a sellout. You wouldn't do it? No. Everyone else did. Hey, hey, I have integrity. It's right. Look at the man. This is the face of a man who will do.

Yeah, dude. I respect myself, man. Can I say, I'm so sorry that it got back to that I was like complaining. I thought it was a funny. Oh, I wish I cleared that up sooner because I've been blackballing you. Oh, shut the fuck.

She's the one who told me to quit the pod and moved off. That is a search I do on porn hub. Actually, no joke. Black-listed? Black-balled. What is it? A guy goes down there. Man, look at these motherfucking balls.

They're black. Black guys fucking white guys. Oh, yeah. That's nice time. Is that what blackball is? Yeah. Really? You've never heard the term?

Big black balls hit them. No, I know blackballed what it actually means, but in porn, I had no idea. Did you? No, I didn't even know it was a porn term. You look up. You guys seem like you might watch porn together, huh? I don't think we've ever watched porn. No, we never watched porn.

I don't think you guys have ever touched each other. Don't make us. I can't imagine. Can you guys kiss right now? If you guys kiss, we'll kiss. No, we won't. No, we won't. Tim's doing a fish face.

Dude, I, no, legit. If you won't be exploited on camera, neither will I. Legit, I'm sorry that it got twisted that way. I had no idea. I was telling it like it was like a funny thing. Thanks for saying that, Ian. No, it's true. Yeah, for sure.

I would never talk shit on you or like, because I like respect me. You know, I wasn't upset about it. I was like, he legitimately has beef with me. Like, what did you hear? Just that he was like, that was humiliating. Micah tried to humiliate me, you know, or something to that. Dude, no fucking way. Or like, I hope this doesn't come out.

I don't want anybody to see it, things like that. I know. Which I would get. I specifically said, I hope it comes out when I'm like, I'm not due. in this. Like, that's what I wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, who told you that?

This is the fun game of telephone that is stand up comedy. That's so fucked up. That really pisses me off. Yeah. Do you know who told you that? No. I didn't, let me check my journal.

You know, this is a pivotal moment for me, Ian. I was willing to exploit you. I wasn't as upset that you were. I clearly don't care about you. That's so upsetting. We've had so many hard to And, like, you called me when you were doing your special and everything.

Yeah. And you're like, oh, can I hug you? Right now? Whatever you want. No, don't do it. Here's the biggest thing. The biggest thing I think about Micah doing those commercials and stuff is she always just tried to make it so her friends would get money.

That's, yes. And I would never. I would never. I would never persuade you for that. But I'm going to give them some money. That's good. Yeah. That sucks.

Yeah. We did an ad for some sex toys. And the one that I had to do an ad for was called the dipstick. And it was if somebody came inside your body, you would use the stick to plunge out the cum. Oh, like one of those baby nasal sucks. It wasn't a sucker. Dude, it was like a cue tip with a sponge shaped like a star or heart on it.

How does that not push it in? It did. I mean, that's why I don't understand. That's why they say don't put your cue tip in the ear. Right. Yeah. But that was me trying to get my friend's money. And then it was like such a bad deal.

And it's called the dips. It was me and Ian and... Oh, all three people you want to think about doing fucking cream pies. Yeah. And it was so... And I didn't get paid because I ended up roasting this thing. And then I ended up... Oh, you did it all Tim Dillon Riyadh.

And then I ended up using the dipstick on my own vagina. Did it work? Oh, no. No. Wow. I had sex with... One time and ended up using the dipstick. He fucking...

He came in you. I've never been more pissed in my entire life. He just did it. I think it was an accident. Okay. Yeah. All right. I mean, Mike, you know what?

I believe it was an accident. Okay. The reaction, you know what I mean? Okay. When you're like, that had to be an accident because there's no way. That sometimes happens. Yeah. Accident.

Not to me, really, but I come very quickly and I'm aware. Oh, you're a quick comer. Oh, I like to do. God bless you. God bless you. It is a war. of attrition and I want to sign a peace deal. I'm just like can we just shake and like what do you have like uh serotonin dick

SSRI dick yeah totally that's why I do the thing where I'm like what if I just go down on you and jerk off or like we make out and jerk each other off because I can really only come in my hand that's totally fine I just want you to admit that that is not celibacy that's all I want is you to admit that celibacy yeah I think it is what is it then is it celibus is it's coming in your hands, bro. Is there a term for it? Because I'll fully admit with a term or label. I don't have penetrative sex. This is kind of like when chicks who are

Catholics say they're virgins because they only get fucked in the ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, bless me, father. Oh, yeah. Jordan did the dipstick work? No. Oh, fuck. Pushed it up. Pushed it up in there. Wait. Oh, no. You got pregnant by no, I'm barren. Oh, okay.

Oh, good. Nice. So I think that boys are are. You want to know what the dipstick. They're rapists. Well, it's like two negatives I'm fine, I'm getting into the egg You're like, no, but I do have A picture of a fetus up on Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yo, how, the dip I forget. You know what it should be for, though, with the name? It should just tell you how much cum is in there, you know, like it greases up to a line. You're like, oh, fucking 30 millimeters of cum. It's just as, after that happened,

I was like, this is a horrible calamity. of things that have occurred that I've allowed myself to sleep with that he came in my vagina and the the curb your enthusiasm music did start playing and just saw the dipstick sitting there and I was like, oh and I had done a whole ad and they didn't

pay me and I was like fuck them and then I ended up using their fucking stupid ass product. And you totally could have done an ad read for it afterwards. I think you so much. When you've got regrettable cum in you, you're gonna want to get pregnant with another

Baby. A baby almost just got me pregnant. I didn't know about that till later because you guys were coming to my house and I was like making us dinner on Sundays and everything. Did it happen before, during or after that? Remember the pandemic? We were having like dinner Sundays. Yeah. Did it happen during that? No, there was a long time where I was pushing it off.

You know what I mean? Where I was hanging up decorations. I do the video of us hanging out my office and me and the door over here and he's playing the guitar and you're legitimate. in the corner like this? It was a really dark time. It was a really dark time. That's what I do, though. If I have a, I love to much that I was like,

I'm in love with this person. He's so funny. Yeah. And I always do that with my guy friends where I'm like, besides you, where I'm like, I think I love them so much. And then I have sex with them. And I'm like, this is such a friendship. And I fucked it up so bad.

Yeah. Luckily. Stop. Please. It didn't fuck me. That's good. Yeah. I don't think it's ever fucking.

up any of my friendships, but no one ever has sex with me. So, you can't fuck up a friendship once you kill yourself if you have sex. Listen, I guess, it's all the gravestones. I go, I jerk off onto him. I give my little piece. You're a quick comer, eh? Yep. Do you have to re-up?

Do you re-em up? Do you get him going again? No, you just go quit, hit it and quit it. I already got credit for fucking him. Yeah. Now I got to do it again. But you like that. You like them coming quick.

Yeah, after a while, I'm like, there's too much friction. Do you come quick? No, I almost never come. I've never seen it happen. And frankly, I don't want to. I go, this will fuck up our relationship, I said. I've never been a man with less curiosity about how I come in my life.

Really? Yeah. And I don't care. I'm like, I'll all come later. Don't you worry about it, sweetheart. I'm a good guy in every other facet of our relationship. Besides providing any. I'm a good guy depending on how much this baseball card is working.

I was getting offers today. I got a bunch of players that really need a good next season. I'll tell you that. Tim's talking about the next six months with him and Micah. Tim, have you gotten mugged at all? I've gotten mugged in Indianapolis. What is with you and your friend group getting mugged? Yeah, your friend group.

Bunch of pussies. Yeah. Well, I never got, I got held up at knife point in Chicago once, but I wouldn't really call that. I just, I was hammered, though. Yeah. And the guy goes, give me your money. And I had four dollar bills. And I crumpled them up and I threw them at him.

Pretty disrespectful. Well, I woke up in the morning. I'm like, he should have stabbed me out of principle. Yeah. I got a knife pulled on me up the street a couple years ago. Yeah. At midday. And it was in front of a coffee shop.

And this guy pulled a knife on me. And all these people, it was like, it was like this big. And he was like pretty fat. And the way we were in each other's faces, he had it at his side. And I kept reliving this. Like I could have like headbutted or like done an upper cup, but I was just trying to like de-escalate. And there were these guys inside with their faces up against the window.

And when the guy walked away, they walked out. And they like, that was crazy. And I yelled at them. I was like, well, where the fuck were you, man? Yeah. Fuck you. Are you just going to fucking watch? Yeah.

Literally a guy is holding a fucking knife being like, I'm going to cut you white boy, blah, blah. It was fucking nuts. Wait, why was he going to cut you? Because he got in like an altercation with someone in the street, a bicycle rider. I took up for the bicycle rider. Defending your own.

And he started yelling at me out the window. It was like, suck my dick. Fuck you. And I was like, you got a kid in the car, dude. What's a matter with you? Wow. And then he came out and was like, I'm going to fucking cut you white boy coming into my neighborhood.

And I was like, I've lived here for like 10 years. And I legitimately said it was just really affordable when I was moving to the city. Dude, there was a huge, there was a huge fight with all these comics back in Chicago at a bar. Was Big Dog involved? Oh, Big Dog was there. You better believe Big Dog was there.

Oh, that's one of my favorites. I walk up and everyone's like, outside bleeding and like there was this huge fight and I walk into the bar with a beer in his hand sitting like this Jeff Sheen is just sitting at the bar and I go Jeff

did you help anyone? He goes no I just watch the men fight and I go that is Jeff Sheen that is so him you can't even get mad you're like if you did anything else I'd be upset I was like I was like oh okay cool what was the fight

yeah what happened one of the comics guys into it with this very strong guy in the bar and then it all kind of cleared out in outside and it turned out my buddy goes turns out the man was tremendously strong and beat up four comics uh adam burke comedian from chicago was just kind of standing there and i watched the video later the security because it was right next lab factory and this guy would get like down on the ground the guy they were fighting would be down on the ground and he would just hop up and then he'd run over and just punch Burke in the face.

Burke was doing nothing. He got punched in the face randomly three times. That's great. He was very funny. That's what happened with that crazy guy a couple weeks ago. He was down on the ground after the count. He got like a surge energy and just went up and started like haymakering people. Wait, why was he down on the ground?

Remember because I stomped him? Yeah. And then hit him with the umbrella. He kept getting up. Yeah, why did you originally stomp him? What was his original? Because he wouldn't stay in the ground. Did you go penguin mode, hit him with an umbrella?

Hey guys, enter the room, Dick first. Make an impression with Blue Chew. Blue Chew's the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex. If you know one thing about me, I'm realizing this is so pathetic that this is the only thing you know about me, but it's that Blue Chew is a godsend. I'm on antidepressants. It helps out.

I'm lowering my dosage of antidepressants. And it's making, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What matters is if blue chew works, okay? It is a, uh, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, you just, you just, um, m m m m'n, then you yin, what more do you want? This isn't just about performance. This is about legacy or third legacy.

Give her group chat something to talk about. You know when they lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up. Mm-hmm. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little blue chute. I'm doing an ad. All right. Well, let me tell you, if I had a blue chew right now, not even that would make me go soft.

That's how good Blue Chew is. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little Blue Chew. Discover your options at bluechew.com. As a special deal for being in with Jordan listeners, as always, get your first month of Blue Chew free. Just use promo code SCA at checkout and pay five bucks or shipping. That's it. Join Blue Chew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time.

Head to bluechew.com for details and safety info. promo code SCA. See you on the flip side. Fall is here, along with cooler nights, hardier meals, and the craving for something warm and satisfying. That's where HelloFresh comes in. Get steak and seafood recipes delivered every week for no extra cost and eat healthier with new veggie-packed recipes.

It's good for on the go. It's good for if you're coming home from the road or vacation, you don't want to cook, you just pop it in, heat it up. The best way to cook just got better. Go to hellofresh.com slash ska 10Fm. Now to get 10 free meals, whoa, plus a free item for life. One per box with active subscription, free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only varies by plan.

That's hellofresh.com slash ska 10Fm, Ska 10FM, Ska 10FM to get 10 free meals and a free item for life. Why was he originally hit by you? He was on drugs and he would not stop swinging on people and he would get subdued and then get up and keep fighting and he was flipping tables over. That's cool. Saying he was going to kill everyone and so it was like you got to fucking neutralize him. How come none of those fancy restaurants, you ever pass one of those restaurants in Manhattan where everybody's sitting outside

and they have like beautiful fish and like little candles? How did that not get wrecked by homeless people? Dude, when I was drinking. You know what I mean? I'm like, how is this? When I big fart by those the other day, I walked by and I did, I could, I had my headphones on loud and I could hear it at through my headphones right by a bunch of people eating. I'm on a fart diet right now, dude, and I've been tearing shit up and turning around and there's a person right there. So many times.

Ripping ass. Or ripping ass in an elevator opening, somebody walks in. I'm like, oh, it's a ghost. It's been like that in here for a while. Yeah, somebody's shit in here before you got on. Dude, when I was drinking, I used to walk by those restaurants and just grab food off people's places. That's what I did during the pandemic, the outdoor dining places. Like Aladdin.

Ooh, a moogh boo. You know what I figured out? I'm Aladdin and coyotes up poo. Isn't that so accurate? Wow. I've always, whoa, is that Jesus in her butthole? Yeah. That's crazy.

Who? Jay. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that is. I didn't see her butt hole in a while. I know.

It's a holy dog. I've always wanted to be Aladdin. and Abu but with my cats like shielding them from like storm oh yeah I want to be Aladdin and a poo with the baby monkey stealing the bread and we work together which is what we do wow

I want to be Aladdin and a boo with Jasmine I want to be the dad that watches Aladdin fuck his daughter that's the guy I want to be big old hat big old hat that is you you got a big old hat

with the menagerie yeah I'm in the menagerie Just looking like a fucking marshmallow Bread sandwiches Bread sandwiches are good I don't know That's where you put a slice of bread in the middle Yeah, three slices

Yeah Is like the genie because I wish you would be Locked in a lamp You wish I can't believe how long you guys have been together Do you kill each other? That's so cool We got along pretty good

We almost never fight Really? Yeah What do you attribute that to? Are you going to get married? Tim. Tim's the easiest person in the fucking world. He was just apologizing. He's like, well, you've been telling so many stories all day.

Of course you'd read, you know. Yeah, you're right. He's fucking, he just fucking oils the dick all the time. That's nice. I'm sorry. It's really nice. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. All right, we're good. It's not me. I'm not the reason anyone's staying together. I'm a very chill guy.

Yeah. Are you making, how are you making money right now? I do handyman work. I host game shows for corporate team building. I produce the only feature. hands podcast. I do that. A good show. Uh, and then, uh, you know, make a little money off our show, the Great Hang podcast. Yeah, great hang. Plug and plug too. We're plugging. We're plugging right now. It's great hang. Listen to the shit. Listen to it. Oh, I'm going to call you for handyman work. Yeah. And you sell cards. And I sell cards, but I haven't really been doing that as much because I don't, I haven't had the money to like get anything and then resell it, you know. Do you not want to do comedy or

you like? I do comedy. How often? Not as much. as I was before. You don't have the hustle. You don't have the road. You don't have the. It's true. No, that's true.

I don't have the thing. The thing inside of myself. It's hard for me. He's not up the butt of bookers. I don't want to hurt him. I have a really hard time asking people for things. It's a Midwestern thing. Yeah,

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Famously, there are no good Midwestern comics maybe. Yeah, never. They've never come out. Except my dad raised me to be like asking people for

things never hurts. That is, yeah, it is a thing. Which is what I tell him, too. Like, he has it at home all the time. I get panic attacks. I start writing, like, booking emails and stuff, and I just start thinking that I'm bothering everyone and I get panic attacks. But it's like, you should be thinking about bothering me with your poverty.

No, that actually calms me somehow. Yeah, it's proof that she loves you, that she allows you to reload. Yeah, yeah. Oh, those days are coming to an end. Okay, okay. No. Well, I lost my job, and so someone's got to pick up the steam. Trump budget cuts?

Yeah, can you fucking believe that Comedy Central doesn't need any employees? That's nuts. Can you fucking imagine how many people it must take to press Space Bar on the office? Yeah. Yeah. What is Comedy Central even doing now? It's all online? Oh, I don't know.

What are they trying to buy Warner Brothers? They had, they took, they got rid of their YouTube channel because they're like, everyone's got to be on P plus. And it's like, no one's on P plus. It doesn't even have a YouTube channel? They took it all down. So many comedians are like fucking furious because they had like clips and specials and shit

with like a shit ton of views that they were pointing people to and now it's just fucking gone. Why would they do that? Because they're like, they wanted everyone. It's gone? It's gone. It's gone. It's gone.

So like they want people to go to P plus. I'm like no one's fucking go. Hey, maybe I'll pay $10 a month to see a clip from Jordan Jensen. They're not going to fucking do that. Why would they think that that's a viable option? It's being run by the same people I guess I can name check What's his fucking name now?

I've already forgotten It's only been a couple months Chris something He runs comedy central He ran MTV into the ground Basically Through Viacom right Well now they're just Paramount Global

Paramount Sundays But now they're Paramount Skydance Now they're trying to acquire It's becoming a Why can't we just have no more acquisitions Well Zero acquisitions Because everyone's

Being like nice to Trump Like they want their fucking money and Trump's like you can have your money if you fucking give dadda a taste it's turning into like the alien universe where the whole world is run by five corporations yeah it's crazy

I thought there was like ways I've never seen alien yeah it's called an anti-monopoly laws antitrust laws all that stuff but we're just breaking them yeah the FCC should be controlling that but the FCC is under the purview of Donald Trump specifically and so if he goes then it's through

so that's why they're They're all sucking up to him and doing whatever it takes to do these draconian moves because then he is like the one person in charge, like a dictator. That's why CBS paid him $16 million, even though if they went to court, people were like they will obviously win this court case. So why didn't they go to court? Because they wanted the merger to go through and they wanted skydance or whatever to. Why do they want skydance? Because he paid them billions of dollars. he's done it

he's finally done it oh man can you imagine pay me money trump they're going to be nice so that they can merge and that way they make more money in the long round

even if they pay them back and also the shareholders just get fucking cash on cash so they're like they're like TV's dying give me my money now right right right right so what do you do to combat it

what's the next step what's going to happen I think YouTube wins this personally I think which is good for a creators, but, like, YouTube will eventually have to bend the knee as well. Oh. Oh, no.

I think that's like. And that's when we all get on. And that's when we get on Rumble. Rumble. We all got to get on Rumble. The free ready to Rumble. The free speech app. But then they'll be on the knee.

Yeah, no. They're the worst. Are they the worst? Oh, my God. Have you ever watched anything on it? It's Donald Trump Jr. selling you gold every fucking six minutes. I've never seen it. It's a good investment.

I bought gold I bought some gold There you go I gotta buy gold The Rosian bar It's way up right now It's way up Yeah yeah yeah

It doesn't make any sense I bought it at 1800 It's at like three something Oh shit Yeah Should I buy gold No it's up right now It's supposed to keep going up

I think But I don't know Exploid the slave labor But still think America's bad Um Buy more gold Because they found it?

Wouldn't they found it? Wouldn't that make the value go down? But why is that good? Oh, because they don't drop. How do I buy gold? Poncha. This is not a game for you.

Dot com. Yeah, I think if your first question is how do I buy gold, you got to step back. You also can't be asking your podcast producer for financial tips. Yeah. You're just dressed up like Spider-Man. You also can't have a little object in your house

that's worth a lot of money. I have my cat There's no Yeah there's no way you can keep They're prices to me Wait you you physically have the gold Yeah So I get gold shipped to my house

Oh you have it by the ounce Oh you have it in your house Yeah yeah And where do you live Is that smart to have? Now is this gold Should I buy gold? Oh sure

Physical gold Will you help me buy gold? I like having it to have I'll give you a taste When I sell it I'll give you a little taste What is happening? I don't get rid of buying gold.

I bought it off somebody who had the gold. I'm surprised you're not asking the Jewish person about buying gold. How do? I want gold. What you can do is you can buy like a watch. You can buy gold. You can buy stuff that just gets value over time. Yeah, that watch is good.

Like I'm buying a lot of silver right now. Buying watch is stupid. Yo, I, silver always goes up. They have an account called watches of Joe Rogan. Yeah. It's an aggregate of everyone that's worn a watch on Joe Rogan. And it's like,

Bert Kreiser, this watch. $30,000. Brendan Schaub, this watch, $10,000. Shane Gillis, this watch, $25,000. And it does me. It goes, Ian Fidance, Cassio, $23.95. And the cheapest watch of Joe Rogan. Yeah.

But I don't know about watch culture because I think it's so losery. I asked Tom Cigora. Really? Yeah. I asked Bobby Kelly, and that turns me off of it. Yeah, that'll do it. He's always getting his watches redone, though, because the size of his wrists keep changing.

Yeah, he's a fluctuation station. Do I, how do you get gold? Stop looking at the comment. It is very offensive. Stop what? Stop staring at the Jew every time you ask that question. How do I get gold, Jew? I think if I hit you on the head, it's going to pop out of your ears.

Just Google buy gold. That's what they want. You need a gold guy. Is this the they you're talking about right there? We do want you to buy gold. Our gold. well whatever what if at the end of the episode

she's like seriously I do have a lot of gold that would be so funny if your plug was like Micah's gold dot com I'll sell gold I'll fucking sell gold

yeah you can buy it there's like you know I don't even think it's like I think it's easy to buy you just Google buy an ounce of gold whatever

oh that's one of my rich you go to you buy gold from a pawn shop pretty easily I think it's a little higher than you'd want to pay for it but well yeah just buy a nice chain

gold chain yeah but don't you see that we're living in hell because we're like how do I buy gold instead of like, I'm going to buy a house. You are saying how do we buy gold? Yeah, no one's telling you to buy gold.

Jordan is a little bit. I have an ounce of gold. I have one ounce. It's worth whatever, three grand right now. I know, but what if I bought a pound? Do you hear yourself, you're promoting the gold. I just bought it for fun. I bought it because at some point I can give it to my niece and be like this will go, you know what I mean?

A pound of gold is like $46,000 or $48,000 or something. But that means that investment will be worth. much more soon yeah sure yeah what's going on are we triggering your little gambling brain a little bit is there a little addict brain we're triggering you caught me okay so yeah thank you I need gold you need crypto you don't need gold what's crypto I bought it because my ex said it would be cool if I bought it so I immediately bought it okay so we're both getting our brains all right all right all right you know okay Jordan holds the gold and she's like I've never felt cooler in my fuck I went like this will you love me now and he's like no

But thanks. She used to sell that. Like tokens. Yeah. Dude, speaking of Jordan's exes, someone I play softball, Mira Wiles that I play softball with was like, you know, your name came up four times on Reddit,

people guessing that you dated Jordan Jensen. You know how offensive this is? I'm so sorry. Dude, I deleted Reddit and Twitter. Everybody was saying, everybody was like, who is the guy, who is the guy? So many people said it was Tim.

They thought it was me. I don't know. That's so funny because the only thing that said is like, this guy sucks. He's a mid-comic. Oh, no. You're never going to get that stink off you. Oh, is that what you said he was mid?

Fuck. I got so much stink on me on Reddit. It doesn't fucking matter. It's carpentry. Yeah. I said it was carpetry. And I think people need to know that I get big pops. He gets big pops.

I get big pops. Quite funny. Big Pop McLaugh. That's right. Big Pop McLaugh. That's right. Oh, yeah, you are a big pop McLaugh. Woo. Chubby, chubby, chubb, chubb, chubb, chubby chubb. Chubby chubb, chubb,

feels good, yupp. You should have bought new clothes for the season ahead, and thankfully, Chubbies is here to make sure your fall wardrobe hits harder than a linebacker on game day. With soft, stretchy fall, staples built for maximum comfort, Chubby's fall collection is packed a cozy gear that brings a heat. It feels good. It fits good. It looks good. What more do you want? Chubbies. Grab some warm weather gear before head. heading out on vacation, whether you're layering up for the tailgates, lounging through lazy Sundays, or just lean and fully into fall comfort, Chubbies has you covered. For limited time, Chubbies is giving our listeners 20% off your order with the code IAN at chubbyshorts.com

slash IAN. That's code IAN at chubby shorts.com slash Ian. Support the show and show your thighs some respect with Chubbies. I have a new stage name and now everything's going to change Were you on the show? Were you running that show with Jeff and Jeff and Jeff? Yep.

One of the artists I've ever laughed was watching Beauty Bar you guys one night on like a Sunday. Jeff and Tim would destroy Arcuri and now our Curie is a millionaire. That is hilarious. The greatest night of my life was the night Arcuri got passed

at the cellar and came to Beauty Bar and goes, guys, I just got passed at the cellar. And then the life left Sheen's body. Oh, yeah. And she just goes, good. That's really good. I was like, congratulations, man.

That's really cool. And Sheen's just like, cool, man. Great. He's such a little worm. I wish I could have seen him. I love to see him. That's awesome. Dude, that was the most fun I think I've ever had in my life running a show.

It was with Jeff's a little funny. That was so fun watching guys. I was just go at him being in the back. You could not. It was crazy. I told him once. I said, Arcuri, if you just didn't give us any reaction, we would stop. Yeah. Yeah.

Tim's teaching a 38-year-old man how to deal with a bully. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He was like, actually, I will not listen. Do my own thing. And then become rich forever. Right. And marry a bachelorette.

Yeah. And marry a bachelorette. Yeah. Oh, man. And then not bring. any of you on the road with me. No, he brings, he brings Sheen. Really? Yeah. Why does he bring you?

I don't think. Because Tim was happy for him. Yeah, he rubs his success in Sheen's face in a very real way. Oh, that's hilarious. He goes, look at what you could have had, Jeff. Do you need gigs? Do you need to...

Oh, I love you. Do you need money? I'm going to come into some gold soon. I'm not kidding. Do you have a camera? Do you have a camera? I have a camera. I'm bringing you. All right. We'll go do It'll be fun. That'll stop the rumors. Oh, God.

Fuck, Micah, shit. We'll go new gigs. That'll be fun. I'm out with me. I'd love to come out with you. That would be fucking great. That'll start some rumors. Micah, new gay hag to Ian.

Beard Fox coming in hot. I have a Primo collection. She really does. Dude, when she had the, Micah had a show with Mateo Lane where they would interrupt movies. and these gays would just be surrounding her after the show and she'd be like, this is my boyfriend Tim and every single time they go, ew. And I'm like, okay, bye, thank you.

It's called sticking up for your queen. What do you mean to interrupt movies? You know, you just sit on stage and you roast a movie while it's going. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. It was really fun. We do movie watch along sometimes. Yeah, same thing.

We did leprecha in the hood recently, Micah and I. It was really good. That's great. Is that the scary movie, Lepricon? Yes, but this one's in the hood. So it's... It's extra scary. It's extra scary.

Is it real? Yes, it's real. It's a documentary about a leprechaun. Is it real? How do you mean? It's a documentary about a group of people in Chicago in the hood think that there's a leprechaun. No. Yes.

Don't even. Do you remember that news story? I want to go, the leprechaun. That's what they... This is a story about Ian. Yeah. How do I get cool? I know he's around here somewhere.

He was sucking my husband's cat. I'm just driving to different rainbows. No, it's got iced tea as a pimp in it. Oh, wow. It's good. It's good. It's really good. I couldn't have been more off while we were watching it.

And Micah was just killing me the entire time. Really? She's like, Tim hasn't said one funny thing, 45 minutes into the movie. That's so fun. Well, you got to call it out or people get upset. Dude, one of the funnest times I had was at the Sunshine Comedy Festival down in Florida. Remember we did that last year, two years ago? Yeah.

Troy Bond was doing like a Star Wars watch along with his friend and opener Tori. I forget, Tori Cole. Tori Cole, who I thought was a black man when I was on a show with him. and someone asks is Tori Cole here and I said no and she goes yes and I said oh okay cool Tori Cole does how like a bad man combining Guy Tori

and Dionne Coleman and Dion Cole yeah yeah but dude me Tim Butterley and Dean Stanfield went to the live podcast like watch along on the Star Wars and we stood in the back and just heckled the whole time and like straight up like he was like so fucking mean to Tori and we'd be like keep being mean to the girl it gets funnier every time it was awesome

that's great yeah he had a little canceled thing recently right oh he went off the deep end dude he did so much so he shaved his head really he went brittany spears on it he said something about kirk yeah he's like good blah blah blah and then like double down and then like lost like 50 000 Why are we so okay with Luigi, but so against the Kirk thing? Because Luigi was hot and this kid is gross. This is what I was talking about. But like the Luigi thing, I think his like trial is coming up and people are like go, why is it? I think the video of the Kirk killing was gnarlier too.

No, I mean, Luigi's on T-shirts. It's because the CEO was actually killing people. Yes. That's the thing. United Healthcare was responsible for. You can track actual death. A lot of deaths and a lot of familial destruction. I am for Luigi.

Okay. And Charlie Kirk, whether you like it or not. See people watching, this is what it's like to learn. You pose a question, somebody answers it, and then your opinion changes, you fucking idiots. Also, I'll tell you this. God damn it. Fuck you. Everything I fucking say that goes, d'Rour is a tart, doesn't anything.

Yeah, I know. I know. I have seen Micah come. And also, real quick. What? When, when Luigi shot the CEO. So, Micah did come. And I watched it happen.

We thought you were just having full people. I actually have actually. Speaking of unspeakable, unfathomable tragedy. I have seen Micah come. It looked like the blood that came out of Charlie Kirks now. You like Mangione? First of all, he is so fucking hot. I'm like, why is the CEO the only one who's getting back shots?

Manjone is more just. No, I'm against all murder. I don't like vigilante justice. I, guess what? I don't like murder. But I do like giving people a fucking tune-up for acting out of lying. And the thing is... Toon-up is great.

Tune-up is great. And the thing is Charlie Kirk, his whole thing was speech. So killing someone for their speech, no matter where lead, is wrong. And it was violently upsetting to watch that over and over. Which at the same time, it's so fucked up that we could see it. we couldn't say it. Because if you see it, which we all saw, and then online, you wanted to say,

did you see this murder? You have to go, did you see this guy get unaligned? And it's like, your whole free speech idea is gone. I can't believe they dethroted him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My eyes got graped.

This is fucking nuts. The free speech thing is already fucking done, man. But in the public square, it still exists. Like, when we're on stage, we do have free speech. As long as no one fucking videotapes, takes it out of context. That's why I think the takeaway from this is real life is so important

rather than online discourse because it's going to get completely lost. You can be performative, but in real life, you're more accountable to your words and your ideas. And just like now, you had a real life interaction. There was no judgment. We didn't gang up. You listened and go, oh, that makes sense. I went like this. Here's a question.

It's crazy. Yes. Yes. And that's what that is. That was a good faith question. It was a good faith question. I was like, why are we down with that? But even in a bad faith question, you can still have a conversation and change.

That's why human to human contact is so important in the online world. Free speech went out the fucking window forever ago. The John Marco episode of RIP that I did where I was like, can you tell me all the palat, like sway me over to Palestine side? And every comment. This was like a couple days ago. It's like John Marco is my hero. Jordan is the biggest retard I've ever met. I was like, dude, I literally was like, dude, I just don't, I'll talk to one person and be

convinced of one thing, and then I was so open about it. And they're like, you fuck it. And I'm like, I already said that I'm retarded and I suck. Well, then everyone gets mad at you because people will be like, well, I've done my own research. They're like, you don't want to do your own research. You have to listen to experts. And then, so never say you've done your own research.

Yeah. And also like, yo, God bless, you know, long time friend, but stop correcting you over like saying tranny it's like yeah cool correct in the moment no big deal there wasn't shade but the way that was picked up i was quoting somebody and the way that was picked up and disseminated in people's opinions to like lift stov up is this like they called him dionicius hero of like Harvey at 2% milk stav actually is woke stov is like a very socialist woke guy i don't think he's woke i just think he's no he is woke he actually is woke off off pod he's a woke guy but like the thing about stavi that i think that people don't get is my relationship

with him is little sister big brother yeah me coming in and being like i just went to break up and i think all women should be ugly is me being like hey big brother i'm mad and then he tells me when they go oh this is jordan's holy sound opinion i'm like no it's not it's me being like stav beat the shit out of me on the pod sure that's the thing these people see these conversations and then they take that as like truth and like this is what it is it's just comedian's a whole job is to show different perspectives that aren't the norm. It's like, I was talking about... Talking to the point of, like, delirium,

and then when you're friends with someone off camera, you feel that you can let your guard down and keep a regular conversation going. But also, the whole, like, Stavre hero worship pisses me off in a way, and I love Stav so much. But I got made fun of by him and Nick and Adam for years for love to trans women,

and I was a punchline, and being into trans women, was makeup on your face right now. But it's like, yo, I get it. Like you can change, but at the same time, it's like, yo, I'm the freak. I'm the one who's wrong for loving who I love and being open about it, and then you call me a

forever, but all of a sudden he corrects you and everyone's like, he's the hero we need. I mean, he still did call you gay in the clip as well. I am kind of gay. Oh, did he? That's so funny. That's hilarious. Yeah.

Yeah. But also, it's like people don't realize the context and they only take it for what it is. Well, there's also such a market now on YouTube for anyone talking shit about anybody. Yeah. That it just clickbait titles, the bots. And then it's like, look at these dumbass assholes being dumbasses. And I watch every video. You know what people I think were really mad at is I was being like, I was trying to be like, this guy, the truth is this guy had sex with this woman and he called her the T word.

right, even though she had a fully formed vagina. And I was like, it's so, what, the thing I was trying to say is, it's like if somebody had sex with me, I had plastic surgery to remove skin and was like she was covering me in a thick layer of skin. The whole time they were like, really? And they're like, no, she had it plastic, she had it removed, but it was still there kind of. You know what I mean?

Like, I was trying to say it's weird to call, to think that you're being gay by having sex with a trans woman who has a vagina. Because at that point, they're just a heterosexual woman. Okay, that's fair. Sure. Which is just simply. Does it feel better if your dick goes into a reverse, dick like because you're doing i i don't know but i like does it fit the dick yes i can't answer

that but thanks for making eye contact with me when you're asked well i was doing what you did to mike over the gold have you guys been dragged before been dragged on the internet well we're not famous enough for that no no no and if i did get dragged i'm you're tweeting you're tweeting oh i'm shadow band on twitter i'm on threads now it's a sad state okay okay so sad but every time you What did you get Shadow Man for? Oh, I don't, I actually, like, I assume I said one liberal thing right when Elon took over. Oh, okay, okay. It used to be like, I would, like, tweet accidentally with my pocket and get, like, 50 likes, you know?

And now it's like, I'll hit a banger and they're like seven likes. I'm like, come on. Oh, come on. Everything you do fire off. I am like, that is a good point. Yeah. Yeah, Micah makes good points. That's what the people love.

Yeah. I sit at home and go, what about a reverse dick? Yeah. And Micah goes, don't say that out loud. Don't ever say that to anyone. That's good, though. It's a good balance. You're learning the other side.

You know what I mean? You're seeing how dumb people can possibly be. I've never seen it before. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Good. Yeah, I don't know. I've never been with someone with a surgically implemented vagina.

I would be. It's just never come up. I think I've evolved to the point where it's like I'm not specifically searching for one type person, but I'm open to everybody. and if they happen to have a dick, great. If they happen to not, great. If they happen to have what used to be a dick, great. But for a group of people who really seem to not be loved,

when someone's offering it to them, they really don't like this guy. They really don't like, oh, Uncle Ian. I am not a guy that they want on their team. I don't know what that's about. Standards, lower them. And that's why I say trans women are winning. Because they rejects me.

They don't like me. I don't get, yeah, there's so many different types of vaginas. There's hideous vaginas and tight vaginas and big vaginas and inside out vaginas that a vagina that was a penis turned into vagina. I got this book for my niece. Yeah, so many vaginas. So many vaginas that a penis into a vagina is a vagina. I'll pause it, I'll posit that it's way gayer for a guy to judge a woman's lippy vagina

than to be like open and with your chest out of being with. like a trans woman because like wrong but go on I think it's so gay to be like your vagina's aesthetically not pleasing and it's like you're a catty gay man close your eyes men just love judging

the way women look it's so masculine and that's so catty and gay I agree just like every Dominican is a gay man you're spending all your time in a barbershop talking about jewelry yeah with the necklace and your clothes are too tight and mesh shirts so many necklaces sorry

Yeah I'm sorry James I'm having fun But you've never seen a vagina James got tight shirts he's upset Dude I really like Lipy vaginas

Really? That's why he's like You know it's like really gay To not like lipy vaginas He's like in fact the lippier The left here you are Period blood But I don't like period blood

It's not fun That's his gay is it What? Can I tell you Because It doesn't have to tolerate it When I was younger, I grew up with a single mom and there was a lot of period stuff going on

and the dog used to dig it out of the trash and I'd have to clean it up. And it kind of made me be like, well, she didn't make me, but I would come home and clean it up. I had to throw away the trash. I had to throw away the trash in the warehouse and the women's bathroom. And every time I would lift the lid off,

it was a smell that would make me almost vomit. But dude, I'm not like, I'm not like, if someone's like I'm on my period, I'm sorry, I'm not like, oh, you're now useless to me. I'm like, still come over, but like, I don't want to have sex. I'm sorry. I just remember I had a trash can next to my bed in high school where I'd put all the used condoms. And one time, how old were you?

13, 14. Yeah. 1415. What are you imagining right now, Ian? Dude, but one time I opened it and smelled it. Old cum, rotten cum, I think might be the worst smell known to me. Does it go bad? Yeah.

I thought it was like glue or just hard. We've been stories. Is it going bad? It goes really bad. It goes really bad. Which is our best by date? Yeah. Oh my God.

Yeah, I used to, oh, God. I was in a really bad way for a while, and I just used to... You had sex to. Come in me. He didn't mean to. Did the dipstick work on you? I was a dipstick. I used to just come in my trash can.

Directly in? No, that's like... Yeah, yeah. Does that exclusively. 100% of the time. That's because his dick so big is... just in the trash can. It's just in his room.

It's in the trash game. Honestly, anything he sticks his dick in as a trash can. I'm sorry. Let's go, Micah. She's done it. Nobody's safe. I love, I'm sorry. It's so nice being on the other side.

Yeah. You are in a Dell song. All right, we're going to wrap up. Let's give plugs. What do you want to pop out, guys? Oh, please, please check out our podcast, Great Hang with Micah and Tim. We're on YouTube, we're on all the podcast stuff. That's great, it's so funny.

Yeah, everywhere, YouTube, anywhere you get podcasts, check out Great Hang. Also, check out the only few hands podcast. We don't really have much coming out. I don't know what you've got coming up. Follow me on social media, NYK. And you can see Tim on the house. You can see Tim open him for Jordan. That'll be fun.

That will be fun. And follow me at Hot underscore Comic 69. Oh, and I have an only fan's contractually for one more year. So follow me there at the underscore Fox. underscore hole, hole spelled with a zero, to make the hole bigger. And your special's out too, right? Oh, yeah, my special, my joke, my choice. Terrible name for a special, hate it.

But you can find that pinned to my Instagram. Go check that out as well. Hell yeah. Take me with you on Netflix. Watch it. Yeah. Watch it on Netflix. Watch it, like it.

Say you want more stuff like it. Get it into the algorithm. Send it to your weird hand. Double like it. I have not seen it. Don't plan on it, but I'm happy for it. That's your putting his makeup on me.

I can be found at IanFodance.com for all my dates. I'm going all over. Road, road, road. Fun, fun, fun. Ian, do an odd guy doing odd jobs out. Soon.

I promise you it's going to be great. You just got to hang with me. So in the meantime, subscribe to YouTube.com slash Ian finance comedy for all my stand-up. Patreon.com slash be in Ian pod. And

Dead man's merch. Dead man's merch. Gabe Battelle's one-man, madman circus show. It is the... Try to explain what the show is... Dude, he has a skeleton guy that he does a voice of at the top of a spinning ball game where you try to get balls in these things.

It's truly like a carnival conductor in, like, Wackoland. It's the funniest fucking thing. He does a voice of the skeleton. He runs his shows. Comics are competing. The crowd gets so into it. minute, I'm like, I'm like the Van of White of the show.

It's so funny, dude. I'm telling you, it's Wheel of Fortune on Asked. God, I love a tell. It's amazing, dude. And his like, one lines, it's the funniest thing. And it's the funny and it's a show that he runs. Live. How many? So it's monthly or it's

Okay. Okay. It's going to come on the pod and promote it. Oh, it's a Halloween episode to wear a costume. I'm telling you, if you're in town or even if you're not, get there. It's going to be amazing. And check us out every Wednesday on YouTube. We love you.

Thank you so much for tuning in. And thanks for rocking with us through the changes with producers and Jordan being in and out of town. And me hold it down the ship. We really appreciate it. Get back on the Patreon. I know a lot of you left. And a lot of you stopped watching because we had musicians on and not fucking comics, but fuck you. And I like what I like.

We love you so much. Bye-bye.