Bein' Ian With Jordan - Blomeo & Juliet W/ GWAR's Blothar, Maddie Wiener, & Lizzy Cassidy | Bein' Ian with Jordan Ep 162

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

In Episode 162, the Delaware Den gets invaded by the LEGENDARY Blothar from everyone's favorite punk band that plays heavy metal: GWAR! Comedians Lizzy Cassidy & Maddie Wiener join Ian to find out how much he crushes on dating apps, the history of GWAR, & his favorite conspiracy theories. Plus he & Lizzy act out their first date and we get an INCREDIBLE story about the late, great Oderus Urungus. Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast -Try your first month of BlueChew for free, just pay $5 for shipping. Use code SKA at https://www.bluechew.com -Support the show and get 10 FREE MEALS from Hello Fresh! Go to HelloFresh.com/SKA10FM Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Follor Blothar & GWAR Here: https://www.instagram.com/blothar.of.gwar/ https://www.instagram.com/gwar/ See GWAR on tour! - https://gwar.net/ Follow Maddie Wiener Here: https://https://www.instagram.com/maddietwiener/ See Maddie Live! - https://punchup.live/maddiewiener/ Follow Lizzy Cassidy Here: https://instagram.com/lizzycassidy/ See Lizzy Live! - https://linktrr.ee/lizzycassidy Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced & Edited by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Outro song: Title Holder “It Doesn’t Matter” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being in Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being in

Being in And life is shit with you're positive Let's find out what it's like to live a life Being Ian With Jordan Hi everybody Welcome back to another episode of Being Ian with Jordan Jordan is out in LA

Promoting her special Take Me Home September 9th on Netflix But in the meantime I got the dream team here I have the very funny Maddie Weiner and Lizzie Cassidy Thank you so much guys for coming In order to start the show We have to blow the show far

Who would like to blow it? Do you want to do it? I'm Jewish. Okay, go for it. Are you? I can't think of anything more Jewish than not having the long strike to blow the show far.

Having too much asthma? And on that note, I am so excited. I think my entire life has led up to this moment to have in the studio in the Delaware Den on the B&E with Jordan podcast, in my home, Blow Thar from Guar. Let's go. Hello. Oh, my goodness. Oh, this is the cool. thing that's ever happened to me.

Yeah. Thank you so much for coming. I know it was a, I've never had an alien in my home before and I was very worried about my cats because they're so deliciously cute. I was afraid you were going to scoop them up and eat them.

No, no, no. They do look delicious though. I appreciate that compliment. That's all I wanted. So that's been the show. Thank you. I just want to hear that my cats are delicious. Thank you so much for coming, Blothar. Yeah, man, of course. Yeah, I'm a big fan.

Maddie's scared, and Lizzie loves you so much. I'm a huge fan. Yeah, Lizzie has a crush on Blothar. I do. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Does Blothar get out in the dating scene at all?

Yeah. How is it for you? I mean, you know, needless to say, Gwar pulls in some top-notch tail. Yeah. I imagine, specifically tails. Yeah. pound for pound we get more pussy than any band on the planet i love it god for being a gremlin from and where are you from blothar well i'm from the planet of mist yes the planet of mist yes and guar is

from all different places in the universe uh scum doggy uh is where we originally all got together and formed uh the unit guar but uh Yeah, we were soldiers in an intergalactic army formed by the master of the universe, not trademarked masters of the universe. Yes, please. I have to specify that out there. I know you've faced litigation before. No, no, just regular old the master.

Yes. Who's a peanut-shaped being who. Sorry, I need to make sure your balls are in frame. Oh, what is in the way of those others. Ball check. Yeah. All right. Yeah, so anyway, and, you know, we were part of his army,

and then we screwed things up and got banished to the planet Earth. It was kind of a F-troop situation. You know, we try to keep it relevant for the kids, you know, reference F-troop, things like that that they'll know about. Good. Well, I'm not a kid, so what the fuck is F-Tru? It's a really old stupid show about a group of soldiers. who suck and get sent to a stupid place to serve.

Basically, the Western Front, right? Oh, okay. All right. And so when was this? How long have you been here? What is your favorite part of Earth? Well, we've been here for top millions and millions of years. And our favorite part of Earth, I think my favorite part would be actually leaving it.

This place fucking sucks. Well, you guys said it all, this toilet Earth. Yeah, that's what it is. That's right. flush it all away. That's what I say. Just circling the drain like a big reeking-ass turd.

Uh-huh. Well, you were also on my flight from L.A. last night because I had some diarrhea. Cha, cha, cha. Did you rooster tail the bathroom? I love that right off the bat. Oh, yeah.

The pilot had to make announcements to get me to sit in the bathroom. Yeah. Really hit me. Sorry, guys. On Delta. Have Ian Finance? could reconsider what he's eating and how he's living his life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, could he in Friday, please not take his depression meds on an empty stomach? Could he, if I dance, please lower his soul off to take? Are you on, are you, how's depression for you? Yeah, that's a great question. Can you tell us about feelings? Well, what a quinky dink that you would say.

Yes, because I am actually experiencing right now, what they call antiprescent. Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome. Whoa. ADS, yes. I decided that I would just, well, I ran out of my drugs. Yes. Which is my antidepressant is heroin.

Yes. And crack cocaine. Great. Yeah. Yes. And. So you're Jones in right now. Yeah, yeah.

So I'm Joe. I'm Jones. So you go through what? Antidepressant syndrome. ADS. Speaking of which, Blue Choo, promo code, scoff for 50% off. That's our favorite ADS. Blot you.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, do you ever have a hard time? Does Zoloft affect your udders at all, your cock udders? I mean, you know, I have to get somebody to stand in for me, you know, like a stand-in cock, a stunt cock, if you will. There it is. Yeah, mostly I'm just into hugging. Really?

Yeah. Wow, that's what you got me kicked out of being a preschool teacher. I had to find a new, a new profession. But you get away with it. I like that about you. Yeah, yeah, you know, when you're cuddly like me. Yeah. So you're currently not, what was your crack in heroin intake?

Oh, geez. Constant. Nice. I mean, yeah, yeah, we just, eventually I just gave up the cash and just started smoking the money. Right. Because it was just, you know, anything to stay high. Amen, bro. But, you know, I mean, it's, it's been a long road, a long road.

Uh-huh. Yeah, 12 steps. Yeah. 12, I don't know. I forget how many. I think I'm on step. I'm not doing that fucking fourth step. I can tell you that right now.

Yeah, let me tell you, the fourth step is real. I'm not apologizing to anybody. Mating a fearless and searching moral inventory. God damn it, I'm not doing that. Yeah. Well, I can imagine walking upstairs is a problem with those big, go balls. So 12 of them.

12 of them's got to be a nightmare. And millions of years, you've got a lot of data to sort through. Yeah, that's right. I've got a lot of regrets and a lot of secrets. Well, I'll make coffee all you want, but I am not apologizing to everybody

that I have wronged. Hey, you know what meeting makers make meetings? It's all about doing the work. What, Now, Lizzie, you're a huge fan of Gore, as we all are, but Lily, Liz, Lily, Lizzie is a super fan. I'm so happy you're here. This is a make-a-wish moment for me.

Yeah, yeah. What, at what, first of all, wait, your udders, I see some tips. Did you get in a sounding accident? What is happening? Why do you have those metal tubes out of your urethra? Are they catheters? Yeah. Are you that old?

They are, they are, yeah. Seeing you with, like, a hospital band would really, Honestly, for a couple million years, two catheters Pretty good. Yeah, and these are actually clitoris. Just, wow, large, large, malformed clitoris. Sorry to misgender. Yeah, I am.

Don't misgender me, please. I mean, I don't really know what gender I am. I don't know. I'm a mess down there. It's just. Sing it, sister. I know what you mean. Whatever I am, I'm four of it.

I mean, it kind of does look like you said. out on an IED. Yeah, that does. And that's where my copious load comes spraying out. Uh-huh. Yeah. All over the faces of the fucking people in the crowd. Yeah.

Show me bald heads and titties. That's what I like. Now, when that happens, is there some form of consent that goes on? And you just like, you guys knew what you were getting to in the building. Do people ever complain when they get hot loads of blowthar ropes spread all over? They know what they're. signing up for right yeah yeah yeah we we kind of take the buying the ticket is the consent right right you know you you pay you know what's going to happen uh we do get complaints we do i

one of my favorites was uh from a mother who her daughter had she had just had her daughter's hair done for prom and she sent she addressed me sent me personally a facebook message to blowthar yeah yeah That said, and she was like, you know what, you owe me. And it was some ridiculous about it. I'm like, how much money do women spend on their hair? I know, right? Hundreds of dollars. If it's not hair, it's the shopping.

And I was like, what the hell with this? And she said that, you know, my daughter's hair is ruined. We had it died. And does this stuff come out? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll come out. But then she took the tact of, you know, your band is very talented. You really don't need to do all this stuff. Why can't you just let the music stand for yourself?

I was like, man, this is a helicopter mom right here. I admired her. Oh, the lady, I promise your daughter was looking for an excuse to not go to prom. Yeah. She was like, can we please go to Guar before the prom? And what kind of mother gets their daughter's prom hair done before Guar? Right. What do you expect?

You deserve to have your prom hair room. I got Guar blood in my mom. I bleached hair last time I saw you guys and I was like fuck I hope this doesn't come out Yeah yeah yeah nice Yeah I wound up dating that mom Wow how did how did end up Badly

Very bad did you and the kid get along No Right Right Maybe too much What is your ideal date Blowthor Go go ahead yes

My ideal date I don't know I mean I like walks on the beach and, you know, drinks. Yeah. A lot of drinks. Uh-huh. A whole lot of drinks. Yeah.

I'll relapse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. She's about to shake things up just to have a night with blowthard. Yeah. I'll do anything.

You're right. The steps are stupid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is too many. Tol's crazy. Yeah.

Actually, I haven't had to drink in 10 years, but I could put some of that common in martini. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. I mean, I don't know. dating for blowth. are, for me, I like to speak of myself in the, you know, I don't know, what's that third person, third one, two, three,

I don't know. Yes, please, please. But dating for me is, uh, really, I mean, my last relationship was with a Coke machine. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Like a girl that loved Coke or like a little machine. No, that's a good, that's a, that's a good, uh, inference there. Yes.

No, it was an actual Coke machine. like a, like I would just put my, right. Yeah, that was back when I had wainers, and I would put them into the little hole and pump like this, you know. I like them square. Right, you like a square partner. I like a square woman that glows. Right.

Fuck, write this down. I'll figure it out. She's just showing. People have said that about both of us. They just start shoving glow sticks. They just start shunning fluorescent light sticks in their ass. Look at me, Blot. I wrote a country song about it,

but I can't get my arms around you. I can get bigger and brighter. I can do that. I've been putting my whole life trying to get smaller. We can jump into like a foot. We'll go to Chernobyl, fuse together. Glowing, huge and glowing. Huge and glowing, two heads.

Is that good? One brain. Is this doing something for you, Blothar? What's that? Is this doing anything for you, Blothar? If we could become conjoined maybe at the head or something. Yeah, at the head and pussy. Yeah.

And then you don't even focus there. You focus in between our torsos. It's tighter. I've always been fascinated by that. Yeah. Fucking a Cynese twin, that would be. Twins share a pussy. Yeah, do they share one?

Some of them do. Yeah. The lucky ones. The ones I followed a set of a conjoined twins on TikTok. Share a pussy. Really? One of them has a boyfriend. Wow.

Whoa. And every day she's like, you fucking cheated on me with my sister. Stop fucking my boyfriend. So that would be like us. Yeah. I could probably fuse you. Really? Oh, yeah, with violence.

Yeah, just. Oh, that'd be great. We'd be an honor. We've been saving up for a surgery, so that would help a lot. Well, I think that's the best part of dating a vending machine is you can hit them and get away with it. And something comes out. A little bit of you actually get something. You get results.

It actually works. You get results. Yeah, it's the only time you can hit your partner and get dinner. Oh, pretzels. No, it's definitely made me get a drink faster. I'll speed it up a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I would like to do a thing where, let's say you and Lizzie meet on an app,

and this is a first stage. Would you guys hinge, yeah. Ryan, Ryan. Raya, yeah. I don't know anything about this. Blothar's on it. It's called unhinged. Okay.

Come on. But, you know, I would like to set the scene. Maybe would you be okay with that kind of just role playing, see how a date with Blothar goes? You know, you guys meet it at where, I guess, ladies' choice or Blothar, what are you two? Where would you like to meet? Bowling alley.

Yeah, sure, a bowling alley. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, cool. So you guys are at a bowling alley. It's a first date, and, you know, I guess let's just see. Hi. Hi. How are you?

Pretty good. I love your clitorises. Thank you. I mean, I don't, I don't mean to look. I don't mean to stare. I know your eyes are up there, but well. I understand, if you know what I mean. Oh, my God.

Thanks. Okay. You want to spray some shoes or something? Yeah, I could do shoes. Let's spray some shoes. I'd just like to be helpful. That always seemed like such a weird job to me, the shoe sprayer. Yeah, yeah.

But I don't know. Excuse me, it's actually not that weird. It's a living. Matter of fact, you're not allowed on the bowling court. What do we call it? Lane with those hopes. So here's some shoes for you. That's ablest.

That's discrimination. Yeah, that actually is really fucked up. Oh, both are. And glasses. You can't say that. Did you beat them in Brooklyn, Blothar? The bowling court. You're going to tell me in this queer-coated straight couple that they can't walk on the fucking bully lane because he is differently body.

That's right. That is an outrage. You know what? Absolute outrage. I don't want any problems. Continue. So what do you do for work? Well, I'm in sales.

Totally, totally. And anyway, what do you want our team name to be? I don't know, maybe whatever your last name is and mine name with my last name. Okay, berserker. Yes, too. Oh, my God, I hardly know her. So I guess that'd be Lizzie Berser. Yeah, yeah.

Oh my God, that sounds amazing. Sorry to ruin this love fest, but sir, it seems that you're bleeding from the chest. We're all bleeding. We're all bleeding from places. Okay, okay, okay, sorry, I'll go back to work. I'm also bleeding. I'm sorry that I've had, I have Mar-a-Lago face. I've had surgery, a lot of surgery.

Me too, if you can believe. But only medical, not plastic. Yeah, me too. And seen. That was great, guys. That was fantastic. That was amazing. I love it.

That was great. It was written in the stars. You guys were a great couple. I broke up with my boyfriend before I came here. Now, when you travel, what's your favorite mode of transportation, Blothar? Camel. Camel. Interesting.

Yeah. Wow. One hump or two hump? Ah, whatever the hump, man. I don't care. Nice. You just give me the hump. That's what I like.

I don't know. I mean, I just like to be high up, you know. So it's either a camel or a big truck. Cats like being high up. Yeah. They're vertical guys because they like to survey their kingdom. That's right. Like me.

Yeah. Would you say you're more of a dog or a cat person? I was going to ask that. Really? Yeah. I would say that I'm more of a cat. I'm more of a cat person. Wow.

I like kitty cats. Do you have any? Yes, yes, I do. Wow, cool. Like 5,000. What do you like most about them? And also, before we move on, name them. And I am going to keep a tally, so we make sure we get all of them.

Well, I guess the main one is sunny. Uh-huh. And he's very sick, sadly. Oh, no. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. What's wrong? Well, yeah. What do you call it, that feline age?

Feline AIDS. We're finally synced off. He was an IV. One thing everyone can agree on. That cat has AIDS. I have AIDS. We can all agree on that. Do you know your status?

Yeah, I know. Me too. Sonny was an IV drug user and he wound up getting sick. He didn't make the best choices when he was younger. Yeah. Wait, so does he have the... human kind too or just feline? I don't know the difference.

Humans are a mystery to me. I have no idea. Yeah, they really are. Yeah. So easy to kill. Whoa. How many what's your body count? And both definitions. Ah, well, in both case, it's in the

thousands. Yeah, totally. Do you have a favorite method to kill someone? Nice. Sex, man. Whoa. Just blow them up. Wow. It's like, it's like super mad i mean when these things spray you're gonna feel it

wow oh wait say it again when these things spray and i'll finish it when these things spray you better pray there you go well you call my mom i'm gonna die to me got a lot of PSI right here yeah how what's the furthest you've ever sprayed come there below barred question well uh

I ain't probably trying to thank like probably on average about 50 yards oh god yeah 20 to 50 yards oh my goodness you Ian you came and it was only like one inch it only it only went like two inches this weekend I signed someone's colossomy bag oh that's that's cool

How do you poop? Regular? Good question. Let's see that dump truck, baby. I did see the dump truck when you came in. Wait, you're a dump truck? Do you mind getting up and just kind of showing us? Is that okay?

The hairs are really. There's a fucking wagon. Yeah, hold on. Oh my God. Let's go. Oh, golly. Papa's hungry. Chad, this is exactly how I dance to your music in my apartment.

Oh, wow. Too bad I'm not a Coke machine. I'd love you to smack me around there, Blothar. You guys see me later in a party city vending machine costume. I'm trying something. No, you know, I shit just like everybody else. One leg at a time. Let's go.

Do you have a favorite clit? And is it the same as the most sensitive one? I like this one down here because it's... It's cute. I always feel bad for it. Yeah. But these two get all the action because of the catheters and the spray. Yeah.

This one down here is just sort of lonesome. Sometimes I put condoms on them and then fill the condoms up with spray until they balloon down to the stage floor and just to be clear I'm not going to make you do that so oh yeah yeah I guess you we're going wrong totally do it imagine fucking blowtharm being like you need to use a car

who is that woman I know it's just a saran wrap around the whole thing I'm afraid that that's really what sex with with me is like you know you just you just sort of go yeah I just rub it on you almost it's kind of like

scissoring yeah yeah it's a lot like scissors you just sort of match I imagine it's a lot like um you know when a dog humps a pillow and you take the pillow away and the dog like keeps humping I imagine that's what sex with blowthar's like

you're just like I can't stop it is yeah and sex with me is like fucking a pillow so perfect and I just come randomly you know like a like an unnered dog just spill load out throughout the day.

Yeah. Just at any moment, it doesn't even require stimulation. Just dribbles out. You're never having ED. You're like good, you're more than good to go. Yeah. Do you ever have a hard time getting hard there, Blothar? Because I know a product.

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Ew. Blue Chew's the best. You pop them in. 10, 15 minutes later, you're ready to rock and roll. You do have to get rid of the blue stuff on your tongue or just go, oh, I love raspberry juice. But I'm telling you, it's worked. It saved me. I mean, it's very distracting at a certain point to keep it.

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It'd go off after a while if it was for life. Can you imagine? It was like a lettuce? You got to keep that around for him. Can you imagine you die and you don't notify Hello Fresh? Just keep sending meals to your family? It's how we knew he was gone. The pile of the brand bags.

Of course, I told you I'd take a lot of antidepressants. Right. And it happens to a lot of guys. Same. Cholesterol medication? Look, let me tell you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I am riddled with artery disease. Yeah, so your last physical wasn't that good there? No, no, no, no, no, no. Who's your doctor? You have, like, a regular guy? Are you in network? Dr. Ross. Nice.

Nice. That's awesome. That's so famous. Yeah, that's what it is. You know, so when you're big like me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying, baby? I just go to Dr. Ross.

Yeah. He always has time for me. Rock doctor. You know, he'll give you, he'll give you whatever you want. Yeah. Really? Wow. Roxy and I have that in common.

Roxies, perks. Anything, man. Yeah? I'm going to find me, Dr. Ross. Yeah, you do. What about love? Can he give me love? That's right.

Self-esteem. That's really needed a prescription for. Yeah, oxies. Benzos. Country mouse. That he cannot get you. So, So Blothar, being in Guar, you said you get the most pussy out of any band on earth.

Pound for pound. Pound for pound. My bet. Very, very important distinction. It's not the most. It's the biggest pussy. Yes. What are some other benefits to being in Guar?

Well, you know, the benefits. I mean, we've got health insurance. Oh, great. Mine ends in October, so I would love to marry you. An HMO. Hey, easy. I'm bisexual. Oh, sorry.

I mean, you know, other than the filthy lucre, all that money. Yeah. Just that, that, and, you know, I get a lot of friendship bracelets. Yeah, those are cool. Oh, that's nice. Who are those from? I thought those are from the souls you've taken. No, they're friends.

Mostly these are from, like, young. female fans that make them Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's cool. Man, you know what's funny? What I wonder you say, Lizzie Cassidy on it? Yeah, Lizzie. The other one says I'm watching you at all times

Heart Lizzie. That's weird. What is this? God of, Blothar, God of Cock. Whoa. Wow. Yeah. These are very troubled young women.

No, no, no, no, they're normal. They're doing it better than they used to be doing. That's so nice that you wear those friendship braces because people give me bracelets a lot and I put them in my like travel bag and then they end up like in my room here or there. And I just had someone. Shout out someone who made me a bracelet that said cream soda and I put it on the stick shift in my rental car. And I left it there. Ah.

That sucks. Egg on my face. Oh, blowthole. You ever leave some? Come in blood on my face. Come inside me and hold it in me, blowthar. Well, come inside me and get me pregnant. Isn't that embarrassing?

Aren't I a stupid slut? You got to chill. I almost shit myself. I can't trust my O-Ring anymore. This guy's a liar. What is this? An airplane from L.A.? Control yourself.

You're O-ring. Oh, boy. Me covered in blood and come Like, ew, you poop That sucks Before Before you, Was it an adjustment at all

To be like a sex icon Or were you, have you been on that wave? Yeah, I mean, I've always been Look at him Pretty much, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm sorry, that was an insulting question I really I'm sorry, you can come in me if you want

Being a sex That was really bad that I asked that, sorry You've been a very bad girl Oh my god Oh my god Turn the camera on Very bad girl Say to me

And turn the other camera on You know what I mean I think you need to Bend over this knee No Well that's gonna be on the Patreon Patreon.com slash Ptian pod

For the real real X-rated version of the show Jordan songs but suck Jordan gets back And we each suck one clip Oh Just cut to the patron And its blows are like

It's pretty much like, like puppies. I am a one man Bukaki machine. Yeah. It would be easier to be like Polly, right? If you have four? Yeah.

Have you ever been married? Like, how do you stay? Are you a monogamous guy? Take us through that, blow us all. Good question. Well, you know, I mean, I, on my planet, which the world of missed is pretty much a Viking planet, right? And I had a Viking maiden that was my good friend,

and unfortunately she was killed. Oh, no, how? What happened? Did you fuck her to death? Did you fuck her to death? What did? I did. I fucked her to death.

I just, I rubbed myself all over her until she died. from friction doing what she loved they said she was literally burned to death like a kid with an hamster pitiful trying to hug it but you kill it I love them fuck their hamster Jesus loves you

yeah I did oh I'm so sorry did she come though I don't know I'm well you like to hope yeah yeah I like I mean I'm hoping

she died as she lived hoping she was going to come disappointed oh I'm sorry for your loss yeah I'm so sorry how'd you rebound from that did you marry again have you been divorced take us through that blowthar

yeah I have been divorced yes when you live a life like I do on the road all the time Yeah, of course. You know, you're going to have a lot. I've had hundreds, really, to be honest, hundreds of wives. Divorces.

Hundreds of divorces, yes. So you marry quick, then. Is that what you're saying? Like, how do you keep making the same mistake over and over? I live for a long time. Yeah, hundreds of millions of years. I like to think you believe in love. I do.

After life. Do you believe in love? Remember that one? All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was actually married to Cher for a while. Really? Yeah.

How'd that go? She's a beautiful person. Oh, she really is. Yeah. She really is. I love how she's that quote that her mom goes, Cherie, you need to be with a strong man.

She goes, but mother, I am a strong man. Yeah, I am a rich man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love her. I love that. Do you believe? Almost.

I love and love. Did they do anything? Yeah. There it is. Jeff sales, tramps, and tails. All the problem, him, huh? Hold on here. I'll add to it, ready?

Blothor, you're up. Here, Lizzie, smash me in that with this hammer. Unbeat. Yeah, yeah. Don't, gung, gunk, gong, gong. What are you? you laughing at giggles why do you have like a medical hammer

oh no it's attack hammer um oh like framing I had never seen before and I was like I think he bought this for someone to kill him oh god it looks like how you would like blow the owner please

would you do the owners I've got one that's about a hundred times bigger than that really yeah it's an actual gigantic stone hammer uh huh but it's okay if yours is a hundred times smaller yeah it's not about

size of the hammer, it's how you crack it into a human skull. Yeah. It's how you crack my skull open with it. So being married over a hundred times, how do you get the will to keep moving forward and meeting new people? I lost that a long time ago. Yeah. A long time ago. It's just about the huge pussy for you now.

Yeah, right now, I'm just living for that pussy. The big of the better. Are you straight? Straight, eh, is, you know. Yeah. I mean, it's hard to tell, really, because I can't. Each cock has its own gender identity, I think. This one's straight, this one's gay, this one's trying to find a personality.

And you know, Gwar has a lot, demisexual. Guys, I'm right here. Just make your sexuality, your personality. Oh, my God. Dude, it sounds like the beginning, it sounds like you can make a jug band with that hair like plunking it yeah yeah I've actually ripped several of them off doing that just sitting there and entertaining myself

then I get yelled at by my armorer but yeah yeah I mean you know I don't really know what I am so it's difficult to tell if I'm straight manly it seems like I'm just going in a circle yeah have most of your wife's been human is that who you find you vibe best

with no actually they've mostly been aliens And then once we came to Earth, things slowed down a lot for me because human women are very fragile, you know, fragile creatures. Yeah. And annoying. Yes, very good.

You're killing me with your cough. I'm dying of friction. Like, take my wife, please. Fuck my wife to death. Please. just won't shut the fuck up. And so I wind up killing them. Right.

Yeah. Totally. Just to get some peace and quiet. Yeah. Yeah, I can't wait till your documentary on investigative discovery comes out. Like, we had no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We really never saw it coming.

It was the nicest guy. We've never been able to pull fingerprints from hooves. So it was hard finding him. Is it fingerprints or dental records? Can't tell the dental records you wouldn't believe. Do you have alien pussy versus human pussy? I mean... Well, there's a lot more variety in alien pussy.

Can I just say something? I think it's so funny that we have access to an alien from another world and dimension and we're still like, what kind of pussy do you? So are you fucking gay or what? We're still doing dating is weird. Of course. But I mean, that's exactly what I'm. I would want to know.

I mean, that's what everybody wants to know. I don't blame you, humans. Well, okay, well, here's an alien question. What is your favorite destination spot outside of Earth? And you said you like to leave Earth. The pleasure planet, Riza. Whoa, what's that? You never watch Star Trek the next generation?

No, it's too busy getting human pussy. Nice, dude. No, we didn't have cable. Well, yeah, I mean, it's a pleasure planet. You know, it's like you go there and you run around, you put earrings in, and you show your chest hair off and you meet people and talk to people. Hmm. And then you wind up having weird simulated sex. And that's planet Rizza?

Riza. Riza. R-I-S-A. Right. And how do you get there? Well, you got to have a spaceship. You got to have warp drive. Could you take us with you or would we, like, combust on the surface?

Yeah. Well, I'm not allowed to leave the planet. You can't see it, but I have an ankle monitor. Hot, by the way. I love a man with a story. My angle monitor keeps me here. It also keeps me away from, you know, public schools and things like that. Was that like a DUI?

Just public schools? Private schools are they don't care about the private. Yeah, this guy loves molesting poor kids. I'm allowed near a charter, but what's it worth? I'm only fucking nerds. I can go to your magnet school. They're too smart to track. They really are.

You know, it's not a magnate for his pedophiles. It's like the other side of the magnet for that. Repels. Yeah. Damn, sorry about the ankle monitor. That's a fucking bummer. dude. Yeah, it sucks to be stuck here.

Yeah, when does it come off? I don't know. Probably never. Not when you've done what I've done. Oh, totally. I've done a lot. Oh, God. Well, like what?

Look, I've got a lot of, I don't want to talk about everything. Oh, okay. Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean the prize. I mean, you know, we have killed literally, literally, literally, uh-huh. Thousands. Hundreds of thousands of people.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Do you ever feel remorse or? I do sometimes feel bad. Mm-hmm. Like, I haven't done enough. I haven't killed. Oh, you went the other way with it.

Interesting. Because I was hoping maybe the courts could watch this and get an idea of like, hey, he's reformed. But you want to lead into it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's what we were sent here for. Right. Bend the planet to our will, but we were distracted by the joys and the pleasures of the flesh.

You know, mainly drugs. They don't have crack in space. Yeah. You know? Once we came here and got a whiff of that. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, United States government.

Thank you, Reagan. Because you know they put it in the streets for a reason. Anyway, go ahead. Do you have conspiracy theories as an alien? Oh, great question. Yeah. Well, I mean, aliens don't have conspiracy theories. Mainly because they're not stupid.

No. Oh, my God. No, I'm just kidding. They are stupid. But there's not too many conspiracy theories. But yeah, I mean, I love conspiracy theories. Ask me about any conspiracy theory you want. And chances are I will make up something about it that doesn't make any sense.

Okay, cool. Oklahoma City bombing. Officer Yerke said that he saw more than one person at the scene. So ready. Yet he ended up weeks later when he tried to go public with it. He ended up dying in a field with knife wounds and a gunshot wound to the back of the head. But the official story is he killed himself. Tell me about that, Blothor.

Why were there so? Why? What was it about the Oklahoma City bombing that they just put it on Timothy McVeigh when there's multiple, multiple people saying that it was groups of people? I never thought about that. Stephen Paddock, Vegas shooter, October 2017. Now, that's a mystery. Yes.

Yes, there had to have been more than one shooter. You'd think, yeah. Some people say it was the Saudis. You? I don't know. I mean, I kind of hate country music, too, but... I always figured he was just aggravated. We get it.

You lost your wife. Write a song about this. Open fire. Yeah. What about the moon landing? You've been? I was going to ask. We should be fused.

We got to fused, dude. The moon landing is, that's not even a conspiracy. That didn't happen. Whoa. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I didn't know we had Godfrey on the show.

What? The moon landing. Where do you come down on that? Can I be honest? Yes. I just made a joke about Godfrey because Godfrey truly doesn't think we landed on the moon. Yeah. And I thought he was a fucking idiot.

And then I watched him do his hour. And I was like, I don't think we went to the moon. He has changed my mind with the power of jokes. But it is, I don't know. I don't know. I think we have gone to the moon. But possibly the moon landing was staged as a fucking pissing contest with Russia. Because we didn't have the capabilities to get there.

But we acted like we did. And then since we have gone, but it was kind of like, you know, like a bluff poker situation. What do you think? I think that's probably right. Yeah. Why are you touching yourself like that? Sorry, I get horny with conspiracy theories.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. You make you me nervous. Sorry. Jesus, I had no idea. I think it's cool that we faked it. Yeah, me sure. We can make movies. Yeah.

That's pretty cool. Yeah. He was like Kubrick did it. Do you have a favorite movie? Uh, let me think. Me, me literally on a first date. So do you like movies? My dinner with Andre.

Oh, wow. What's that? I don't know. It's a movie that's just a dinner, I think. It's like an hour. Oh, I thought it was like a documentary on Andre the Giant or something. That would be great. Yeah.

Eating dinner with Andre the Giant would have been fantastic. Are there any humans that you think could give you a run for your money in a fight or not even fucking close? Yeah, not even, you know, 100 guerrillas. no problem oh my god we have to ask you the one blow four versus a hundred girls oh yeah

would you rather be in the woods with a bear or a man you know what my problem with that is is people are like I get the point that it illustrates of like oh men are dangerous and people don't realize but the question you're asking is would you rather be raped or mauled to death

and I'm like still raped yeah I don't want to be like torn to pieces by a bear like one of those is still like worse. At least like you could run from the guy and he'd be out of breath so the raven wouldn't be like full throttle. Yeah.

Is that? Yeah. And there's a chance you could reason. Yeah. Right. Yeah. With a bear at least. I'd love to be torn to pieces if that's what you're into.

I definitely like to smear honey everywhere. That's for sure. Oh, yeah. Favorite snack? Yeah. What do you like to eat? I'm going to go ahead and say, What are the peanut buttercrackers, you know?

Delicious cheese nabs, you know? Whoa. Do you ever look at a vegetarian face? Peanut plank. Yeah, the Lance peanut plank. What is a lot? This is the best day of my life. Blothar, it's the weekend.

You're not performing. You're not going from planet to planet. You knocked off early in a Friday because he killed all the people. early you're you're get out of work times five you knock off at 3 30 what are you looking forward to the most what are you doing on that off weekend to have time for you nut sack sculptures on the couch man yeah huh making i'm just i'm just what are those yeah i'm just not judging them maybe you're a connoisseur no i'm just yeah yeah that's me man i'm i'm a homebody you know yeah i like to sit in the ice palace mm-hmm it just need

my sack and watch you know Bob's burgers or something welcome to MTV Cribbs Blothar's Ice Palace we're going to be smoking crack and watching Bob's burgers while we make shapes with our wieners

that sounds fucking awesome. God sign me up are you kidding me? The hamburger yeah yeah the monkey brain yeah the awakening I like that one what's that one that's where you pull the sack over and then you just let it slowly bloom. Whoa.

And you say, The Awakening. Whoa. We just sounded like minions in a claw machine, by the way. Wow. Are you ever dealt with body image issues?

Yeah. Jeez. I think we can all relate to that. Who doesn't have body issues? I mean, yeah. Yeah. You know,

it hurts my feelings when people call me fat. Definitely. Makes me cry. Cut it out. out. Oh, that makes me cry. I don't think about you crying. Stop that, guys. Don't call me fat. Yeah. Yeah. I know I'm fat. You think that's news to me that I'm fat? You think I don't have a mirror? No, you're not fat. You're just grotesque. That's right. That's what my mother used to tell me.

You're not fat. You're just hideous. Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. Someday you'll find a woman who's blind. Yeah. Or like, has bangs. and is weird. That's also an option. And who I've never seen dressed up this nice in my entire life. Maybe that girl. I mean, my God. How long have I known you?

The shade is crazy. The first time you've seen me not in a t-shirt. I changed six times before I can. 20 minutes late. Now, Lothar, what would you say? You just hit on, you know, body dysmorphia. What would you say to someone that comes to a Guar show and they're feeling that way or they're feeling lost or like the odd duck and a sea of swans?

What would you say to them? Watch the show. You know, Guar, we joke, and that's fine. We can joke. But what I've noticed is that Guar has a huge audience of disaffected people. that's who comes to our shows I look out in the crowd and what I see

and I feel like we're alone among metal bands in this I don't see people that look like they want to kill somebody like you know they're happy they're having fun enjoying themselves and I think in a lot of ways

they see themselves up there you know Quar's not we're not a bunch of well I mean of course I am a rock god who is in tip-top physical shape. Clearly. But, you know, not everybody in the band is like that.

So you got a lot of us have a little extra poundage. Maybe we're older. We're human beings under the clothes. No, we're not. We're not human beings under the clothes. I don't know why I said that at all. Spiritually, spiritually. We're spiritually.

Just having an alien unravel. Cut that, cut that. I got a smoke a cigarette. I think, no, yeah, yeah. Do you mind if I smoke? Yeah, go ahead, you know. It'd be so cool if you did mine. It'd be like an AA meeting in here.

Yeah, perfect. The old school AA meetings. Yes, that's right. Walk out sick to your stomach because of the smoke. Yeah, and you didn't have these fucking youngans come. I smoke weed. That's not our problem here at this meeting for alcohol. Alcoholics.

This is nicotine. Go the hell away. Yeah. No, I mean, in all honesty, though, people that are fucked up like Guar, they do. Yeah. And I think that what they see on stage is people that are fucked up, and they see us doing stuff that is comically violent. I know that we do have a lot of fans that are transgendered, a lot of fans that are just. Me too.

Yeah. I think we share a big overlapping fan base, and I love it. Well, we should tour together then. That would be the greatest gift that anything could ever give to me. I don't even know what I just said made sense. Well, we've had. Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.

A thousand. Take me. That would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. That would be incredible. Yeah, but Ian's only been getting medium-sized pussy. I know. I could make a huge. I can make an adjustment.

I could work my way up to it. We could work you in some tiny pussy. Yeah. No, but I do think it is... You know how you humans like tiny. Why? Why does it have to be so tiny? It's like the tinier the better.

Well, they can barely see the fucking thing. Sasquatch pussy. It's like, you don't even see it, you know? Like, just a mystery. Blurry picture. Yeah. They don't like that, you know, when they say, Sasquatch pussy.

Well, because we have normal penises. Blothar. You guys have... It's the size of that knitted cigarette next to you. Can you pick that up so my reference makes sense? Thank you. Your pussy is so small. It looks like Sasquatch.

It's so hard to see. It's not because it's unmistakable stench. Covered in hair. And in the woods. Hairy, unmistakable stench, rarely photographed. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's, uh, Great to have a place of people who've felt, you know, a certain type of way or been made to feel a certain type of way, whether it's by society or their own feelings or family, to come and feel like they're a part of something.

And you guys, it's like all freaks welcome. And I've always loved that about you guys. We do do that. We do do that. Not do do do that. You peepe it too? Let's go. Let's go.

Please don't kill me. Are you really from Delaware? Yeah. Yeah. We've got a slave from Delaware. Really? Would you like one more? His name is testicles.

He likes to do flakes. Really? My name would be hang out with me, please. I'm lonely blowed. I love testicles. Mm. Mm-hmm. Do you ever get lonely blow?

I'm always lonely. It's part of being a rock star. Yeah. Loneliness. Yeah, just a tumbleweed blowing through town. That's right. That's why you think Iron Maiden writes songs about the Crimean War.

Because they don't have any real human contact anymore. Sing about dinosaurs and things like that. Blothar, I've always wanted to tell this to a member of Guar. My nickname was E-Animal. Because when I ran cross-country, my name's Ian, and I ate like an animal. So they called me Animal. And I was in a ska band, and we used to listen to you guys all the time. And we'd sing fucking an animal, but we'd sing fucking an animal.

And that was fun. That was great. Yeah. That's a wonderful story, young Ian. And then I took your advice and I wrote the baby. Yeah, don't take it that far. Just joking. advice.

I advise you to well the song baby well the song baby rapper said it's I had to do it yeah yeah but we also said fucking yeah bow and 50 stares fucking an animal I'm a fucking queer

I love that stuff yeah yeah we're bringing it back we're bringing it back you know I love it good it took a long time for us to feel to feel funny again really why cancel culture we've had a lot of tragedy it's a band that's had a lot of difficulty yeah that must have been so hard moving forward yeah and people people wonder they ask you know like uh or they expect it's like you know we're not

going to make uh you know ACDC made back in black right like and granted it is hilarious that bonds god died of drinking and they had a song called have a drink on me on back in black Yeah. Jeez. Like, that takes a serious, serious dedication to a lack of self-awareness. Love it.

Have a break on me. Yeah. Have it over us in grave. The thing I'm singing about killed him. We're not quitting at all. It was just this bad luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of us can't handle the parties!

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, seriously, though, it took a while. We lost flattus. We lost odorous. And so, yeah, we had to find out who the fuck we were and try to write some, and now we've kind of,

it's been long enough, and we've been doing enough that we can get back to being funny going. And we still had moments of humor in what we were doing, I think we're going to get back to that sort of fucking an edible type of year. It's fucking great stuff. And Guar comes from underground comics and from that kind of, and Guar really, it's part of another thing about Guar that sets it apart from other metal bands

is that, well, for one thing, it's not a metal band, right? It's a punk band. Or is a punk rock band that plays heavy metal. and we come from punk culture and attacking punk culture was part of what we did because you have to attack it you can't just let it sit there and be

but I think that we try always to not only to shock but really to love no I'm just kidding we don't try to love we forgot how to love a long time ago but no I mean

Gwara is a punk band and and we want to uh hmm oh he's choked up

he's crying you use your pussy is a clean ass you can blow your nose into her pussy can I go can I go? It's okay come on don't be rude Lissy This is Blothar Yeah, I mean, I can imagine it's tough having

You know, such an iconic part of the band You know, the transition phase For moving from odors to you And then still be, you know, you may have some people To think the band should end But I always think like evolution to me is so interesting And cool and seeing how resilient people can be And also like you guys are so much more than just music

Like we talked about like it's Having you out there and existing is so important for so many different reasons, and it's tough and it's hard and it fucking sucks, but that's what fucking life is. And you move on and you, I mean, we're as entertainers, we're all here to make people laugh and enjoy themselves. And if you can make people feel better along the way, that's incredible too. That's right. Yeah. That's exactly right. And, you know, what I was going to say before I had an Alzheimer's moment there was that punk rock has always been about novel.

multi-song. That's been an important part of it, right? And I love Dr. Demento, the Dr. Demento show. You probably don't remember that either, but vaguely. But that is part of punk rock. It's where I heard punk rock for the first time was Dr. Demento dropping the needle on the sex pistols, right? And it was, it's supposed to be funny. It's, it's novelty music. And there's a big difference in punk and metal in that way and guar is a funny band and we'll always be funny um and and that's that's part of what we do i mean we're not going to like the the posturing testosterone the minute i started disliking hardcore the minute that it turned into that shit like like yeah yeah just to me that's when it started sucking um and i i don't think i'm alone in that

I mean, but we went the different way with it, right? We didn't start crying and put on makeup and play songs about our emotions. Yeah. Like those weaners in D.C. Yeah. No offense. Hey, take it easy. Ian Mackay is important.

He really is important. Bugazzi's an incredible band. They really are. You're right. Rites of spring is amazing. Oh, absolutely. I'm not, I'm not condemning them. I'm just being funny.

Uh, although Ian and Henry Rollins is a matter of, In fact, they beat up odorous one time, believe it or not. No. Really? Oteris is human slave. They beat up Oteris as human, his human thrall, yeah. Over what? Yeah.

Well, he was being very attention-seeking, which is hardly a surprise. Right. And they were having a show, and it was a show at one of those churches or something like that, and it was a basement show. Right. And they weren't paying attention to Ode versus Human Slave, Dave Brockie. Right. And so he kicked in the windows of the venue.

Whoa. Yeah. And then they chased him down. And so his entire life, he fucking hated Ian. And he would always shit-talking. And every time we would play at D.C., he would come and sit there, and he would always ask me, how come Dave Brockie said that I was an asshole in the city paper?

And I'm like, because you beat him up. He never remembers this. Wow. Yeah, but that happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I guess the orderist was out of step. Yeah. But those guys, you know, they're just a minor threat. Yeah. They shouldn't have worried about his whole life, you know. Yeah, he had a, he was the kid with the, like, the fake British accent. oh yeah well you know it's nice to reminisce about the salad days just keep going with it come on

when bad things happen you gotta rise a bug you know figure to which the new iteration of black coffee the new when you guys fuck you should slip it in I uh I was I you know slip it in don't kill her is my best friend I it's funny how Gwar can have these things happen and you guys come together

because what makes Guar so cool is the collective of what it is and so many people coming together and it's to serve this greater good and having you guys move forward and move on is so important and people dig it whereas black flag

the new iteration of that is just such an abomination as to what it was I mean it, are you familiar with this about what's going on? It's like it looks like a dad it brought his kids into like a VFW and was like, we're going to be a new band now.

It's crazy. It's crazy. It really is. I mean, I would rather watch the aging punk rock corpses up there. Yeah. Performing their museum. Maybe,

you know, and that's what it is at this point. It's a museum piece. Yeah. And at least, you know, I think I understand what Greg's trying to do. You know,

it's like interject some life into it and, oh, I thought you were going to say pay the bills. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just a mistake. I mean, because for one thing, I mean, Keith Morris is still a fucking great singer.

Yeah. You know, you want to do Black Flag? Get that motherfucker up there with Greg Gien. I saw him last year with a fucked up at La Poussa N Rouge in New York. It was incredible. It was incredible. Yeah. Yeah, he's still amazing, you know.

And Henry. I mean, Henry could fuck out. I don't know. He probably wouldn't do it. Henry. Shout out Henry. We love you. Yeah, there he is.

I almost bought a Rollins band T-shirt for $200. $10 yesterday, and then I thought better of it and I didn't do it. Who the fuck would charge? Why? $210. Because they can get it. It was at a vintage store. They can get, they can get suckers to buy it. So instead, I bought a shirt

that says, uh, federal child abuse at its pictures of Elion Gonzalez with a gun to his head. And on the back in Spanish, it says, Miami is with you. I'm going to Miami tomorrow, so I bought it. And that one was 205 or? That was a fair amount.

Yeah, yeah. Can you actually give me money for that sandwich I got you. I'm so stoked that Guar, you guys are celebrating 40 years of Guar and you have comic books coming out. Tell us all the fun things that people can check out for how Guar is just taking this toilet earth by storm. Well, yeah, I mean, we have a new EP

and we're working on a new album. And the EP is the story of Gore Gore. For the 40th anniversary, we bought back Gore. Gore. If you look at the very first picture of Guar, there is our pet dinosaur. Gorgor is with us. And so we wanted to bring that, bring him back. And the story itself is, really, it's sort of a, the comic goes with the record. And we were, we're really into that. You know, like, when I was a kid, I would get the comic books that had a record inside of it. And, like, you go to ding and then you turn it and all that stuff. like we just you know

Guar's really just a bunch of comic book geeks man yeah uh in sci-fi nerds and and that's really in a lot of ways who Guar's four yeah uh that also like heavy metal in punk rock right yeah um and uh even gaming you know gaming culture like all of that stuff

informed Guar a lot uh many of the characters in Guar initially were little tiny miniatures and the stupid games that the slaves would play. So, but what we're doing now is we have an EP that's out. It's the story of Gore-Gore returning. Essentially, there's a circus train that run,

which is just Guar, right? A bunch of fucking losers, clowns on a train that gets destroyed by a big dinosaur. And then the Gorg-Gor is, just a little tiny infant, and we promptly abandoned the child, and he's raised by circus folk, which is pretty much par for the course for us. And then he winds up becoming a prostitute,

a lot lizard. Oh, yeah. 503 to 3rd, shout out D.D. Ramon. Yeah, he's a bad, you know, you don't want to get a blowjob from a Tyrannosaurus Rex. No. And a hand job is out of the question. not a lot of handwork no ball action in that thing

and that that's for the video Lot Lizard that's released it's a great check it out Lot Lizard it's a great song great video Yeah and then we've got a the EP There's a and then Gorgor the Tyrant King comes back And reeks vengeance on Guar And that's what the last tour has been And so there's that and then there's the comic

That goes with it and we're still fortunate to have guys that write comics and draw comics who are associated with the band and always like I said it was born in that that's what Guar is maybe more than anything else that's what Guar is

so yeah and we're just touring around playing we're going to Australia to do the Good Things Festival and we've got a big tour coming up in the fall and in October we're going out of this year.

So, yeah, there's a lot going on playing some festivals, Riot Fest. I'm going to be there. John, what the hell else do we got going on? Oh, that's right. An art show. Whoa. That's right. The Guar art show.

That's probably the big thing. What? That's the biggest thing. Yeah, yeah, there is a Guar. It's a retrospective of our career. You know you're fucking old when they do a retrospective. Yeah. And it's all the armor over the,

years right um some of which was already in museums by the way but like but this is uh like like in the the valentine museum we i think we gave them some things to stop the the decay of the uh their preservationists help if you weren't born into this um i guess you would call it skin their blothar yeah would would you have a choice in designing the outfits or like is what would or the armor How do you come up with this? The armor? The outfits. The armor.

Do you see how we're making you participate in a fiction? You will play my mind game. Yes. Yes, I've had to. You will play my mind game. Amazing. Just staring off into the distance. Yeah, I mean, you know, the original idea was that I just wanted,

all I wanted, the only thing I wanted was a big sack that drooled. I mean, a spirit Halloween hates to see these motherfuckers coming. Yeah, you know, we used to ride up here so we could buy Karaginan on Canal Street and make our own blood. We'd buy it in big, massive... tanks but now we can't do that that's so cool they do hate us to see us come yeah yeah

really yeah that's awesome one of the best clips of Guar's on the Joan Rivers show oh yeah when she was like oh fuck what she said she was like where are you where what galaxy you had to do next and odors goes Cleveland

Cleveland give him a hand there's a severed hand yeah it was incredible so good I was so surprised by Joan Rivers. You know, I thought she was a, because I had grown up watching her,

my, before the mitosis occurred, right? That's what I call it, the mitosis, which is where beefcake split into Blothar. I was a young beefcake at the time.

And so I was on the Joan Rivers show with, with odorous. And we, I always thought, because I'd seen her host, the tonight show, that she was a big, strapping lady,

You know, but she was, like, barely visible. Yeah. Sasquash, pussy. Sasquot, yeah. You'll know her by the smell. Especially now because she's dead. Yeah, that's right. God rest her soul.

One of the greatest. Shout out. One of the greatest of all time, Joan Rivers. We love you. She told Louis C.K., don't come on to me. People will think you're into necrophilia. Holy shit. Well, Blothar, I can't thank you enough for taking the time from killing humans and destroying the earth and getting pounds and pounds of pussy to come down to the Delaware den and have some fun with us, man.

This is like a watershed moment for my life and career and for all of us, really. Yeah, this is unreal. This is the coolest thing ever. Yeah. It's an honor. Yeah. Uh-huh. You know what I'm talking about

Yeah If people want to buy tickets Pussy by the pound If people want to buy tickets Or see you guys online Where can they check you out Gwar dot net You can buy one of our big

Marital AIDS It's really more like a marital Problem You can buy all kinds of shit there Cool not net Awesome Great And Lizzie what do you want people to check out

Follow me on Instagram at Lizzie Cassidy I have a podcast called Respectfully and a podcast called Close Calls about near death experiences. Hell yeah. Amazing. Oh my God.

Thanks both are. Maddie. I'm on Instagram of Maddie Twitter and I'm on stand-up live. The links in my bio if you want to come see me on tour. Yes. I Animal 6-9 on Instagram. Subscribe to my YouTube for all my stand-up

and my travel show. Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com slash Ian Finance Comedy. Eonfinance.com for all my dates. We're close to selling out and I'd really like to add a show in Toronto for JFS. that's September 26 and 27th. The 12th and 13th of September,

I'm in East Providence at Comedy Connection, and then the following weekend, Stress Factory, New Brunswick, New Jersey, September 18th to 20th. And like I said, I'm, oh, and I think by the time this is out, I'm going to be on Burke Kreischer's tour. We're doing it. I'm going to be opening a bunch of arena shows out in the beginning of October.

So if you're in, I think, like Michigan and almost, Omaha, Nebraska, I'm going to be out there. So I'll see you on the road. And patreon.com slash be an E&Pod. And Jordan Special comes out. September 9th, take me, take me with you. Punchup.org.com slash Jordan Jensen for all her dates. Thank you so much for tuning in.

We love you. This has been such a great time. Can't thank you enough. And we'll see out there. And I hope you all get covered in blood. Bye, bye. It doesn't matter, doesn't matter what you say anymore.