Bein' Ian With Jordan - Childhood Dreams W/Josh Peck | Bein' Ian with Jordan #185

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

Mommy and Daddy are joined by the LEGENDARY actor & self-proclaimed Bein' Ian Superfan (he's a Patreon member btw (patreon.com/beinianpod)) Josh Peck (Drake & Josh) to talk about Ian's new boundaries, everyone's love of haiku, & how they would bring Jackass back. BE LIKE JOSH! Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast -Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold w/ code SKA @ http://BlueChew.com/ -Support the show & get 20% off your first Lucy order with code FIENDCLUB at https://www.lucy.co/FIENDCLUB Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Follow Josh! https://instagram.com/shuapeck Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Outro song: Title Holder “It Doesn’t Matter” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Telling jokes and having smokes riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being in Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being in

Being in Life is shit which are positive Let's find out what it's like to live Aligh Being Ian With Jordan And I've got to do laundry Because I leave tomorrow morning

For the Emo's not dead cruise And the last time I did laundry I was Coyote playing with a dead arm Coyote is playing with a limb And a rat Dude the last time I Did laundry

Thank God I was leaving the next day Like 1 p.m. Because I It was a Sunday and I was like, oh, pick it up at eight. And I showed up at eight and they closed at seven because it was a Sunday. And they just kept my laundry in a dryer. And I was like looking through the window at it.

And I'm like, thank you because I had no fucking clothes. I mean, I have a ton of clothes, but I wear the same thing over and over. Right? Yeah. Are you talking about? I don't know. Why were you looking at it long? Because I needed it.

Where are you going this weekend? I wanted it. The Emo's not dead. Cruz with saves the day, under oath. the story so far the used devil wears prada it's a cruise like an actual boat

it's an actual boat the Norwegian where is it leaving from Miami and then it goes to Mexico and some other place I really even looked at the itinerary but I'm doing stand-up on it and then there's like musical performances and like all this stuff

at nighttime you're doing yeah yeah yeah I'm kind of nervous because I don't want to be around like a bunch of people for five days that I don't know they're just partying non-stop and i am bringing a cart and a cigarette so i'll be all right i just got two new books i want to be social but i you know i've never been on a cruise before have you ever been on a cruise do you like it yeah i get nauseous oh i wish i brought a friend but there's games yeah you want to go i wouldn't mind going well i'm doing hilarities which i love Well, Herty's great club.

Oh, I just signed. I just got my, confirmed the dates. I got to look at it. But, yep. Welcome back to another episode of Beanie and Ian with Jordan. I'm Ian. I'm Jordan. With Jordan.

Thanks for tuning in. Can I tell you something fun I did this weekend? What? So Friday, I play comics. Mohican sun, shout out, Connecticut. Friday, I, I liked it. But I liked being in the casino because me and Patrick left because Friday

I did the travel show Ian do I guy doing on jobs YouTube.com slash you can finance comedy and I made this jacket I've already talked about it a bunch but I'm excited and then Saturday I went to New Hartford or New Haven

and sang gang vocals with hatebreed on their two new albums Oh that's fun. Dude In a recording studio dude Dude in a recording studio with Jamie and Larry and Wayne, the two original guitarists on Under the Knife, and Larry played guitar with Death Rat on their demo,

and I was geeking out, and we sang gang vocals, and then they're redoing Under the Knife, their first EP, and I sang, Under the Knife on Under the Knife, that they're repurposing, and I was so funny. Repurposing? Redoing. Oh. Releasing.

Re-recording. Reddoing. Reddoing. And Ian do. And you did it and you sang on it? Did you sing on it as a part of Ian doing jobs? No, no. It just asked me to do it.

I mean, we filmed it. We're going to, like, put it out for, like, you know, content and stuff. But it was, it was, like, the coolest. It was so cool. I loved singing, and I got to scream. Did you sing or did you? Scream. Under the knife!

Under the knife! Nice. Yeah. I urge you. No, no. No, no. The bruiser's cover? Ironson!

Because you're going to go, here, you try. Iron gin. No, no, really try. No, I don't want to hurt my voice. You won't. You won't. You won't. No, no, really gutter.

Iron gin. No, we're... Iron gin. Iron gin. No, you're not a little kid. You're a grown... I don't. No, you're not a little kid.

You're a woman. You hear me. Roar. Iron chin! Iron chin! Holy shit! That was all right. Yeah, get there.

Feel it. You're Glenn inside. That's so sad. I'm not so much Dayquil. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Yeah. That's what we did. Yeah.

It was cool. Did you tell us in Day Quill for the Adam Ray episode? No, what's the matter with you? Your eyes are fucked up. When you cross your eyes, it's like you make them closer together. That's the thing you should try. What happened with the NyQuil? Are you on NyQuil or DayQuil?

DayQuil doesn't make you woozy. Faky? No? Dayquil being on a cold and they take a bunch of DayQuil. Dayquil is the fucking thing that's like, yes, daytime up. Yeah, but it makes you're... NightQuil, damn. No, that's your default.

No, if you're... You're grabbing your pussy and saying you're tired? You're awake. You're alive. Come on! Fight! Oh, my phones are here. If you're sick and you take a bunch of dayquil,

it definitely makes you feel retarded. Because... No? No, dayquil. Dost me I've been doing it every day. Daytime. Because you're already sick, so your brain is wanting to sleep

and then you bring it back up and you're like, oh, and you're like a zombie. No. You're being... Have you been taking NyQuil? Yeah, a lot. Then NyQuil is... You're feeling the after effects of NyQuil

because Nike will... It's anywhere from, like, 2 to 10. percent alcohol in it so you have to get the alcohol free NyQuil and you don't feel as drowsy. The dake will does not make you feel drowsy. Your body is probably sick and recovering it from the NyQuil and you've been getting dick down and China down. So you're probably tired from that. How's that feel? Hmm.

Great. No breath. It's good. Do you know what I'm all right? I'm sick as a dog, bro. What's you? What do you sick with? I don't know.

I just had the sickness for a while. I really. me a lot, but it don't let up. I think so many herbs and remedies. I don't think I can get sick again because I've been inoculated for my sickness. That's good. It's also quite cold out. What's inoculated mean?

It means you can't get sick because you've already gotten sickness. It means immune. Yes. Good for you. You listen. I do. Zimir earlier. Inoculated sounds like the name of like a death metal band, doesn't it? Inoculated is a sick word. I don't know if it's

what you think it means. Why? Esolating me. Well, I don't know if it means that. You don't know what it meant. And now you're saying, I don't know. Yeah.

What does it mean? I think it means. I told you. Anoculated means basically getting the virus or the viral load of the thing that you were trying to get. I'm getting loads of barrel loads. So many. Inoculated means getting infected with the thing that you're trying to. to fight off and you have enough of the infection that it no longer can infect you and it turns into

like a defense, correct? Yeah. Nice. Immunculate. Immunize someone. Yes. It's the disease. Yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're not a lot. You're getting Desmond. Do you want to read song lyrics we've written in our phones? Never mind. Do you do that?

No. I used to write a lot of haikus in my phone. You don't write poems or lyrics? I write poems. Do you want me film an audition after this? Of course. Nice. Only if I can run pharmacy to pick up my medicine real quick so I don't forget.

And you can run the lines. Okay. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Huh? What poems do you write? Hikus?

Do you still do them? No. You know, I'm published in a book of poems at Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, yeah, I did know that. Is that cool? Why? Because I got to ask to write some haikus during the pandemic, and they put it out in a book. I remember that.

I mean, that's that happening. I should have taken it more seriously because mine's like, drink a cup of coffee, poop my brains out. Think I'm fine, poop again. I like that. That's good. That is good. I like haikus. 575.

Do you want to communicate only in hikus right now? Yeah. Okay. I think on the cruise, you are going to jump off. Don't do that, okay? On the cruise, I will feel a need to jump off, yes, but I will. it can be quite to be stuck

with party bucks but you can call James I will have fun yes

no matter what I find fun fun fun will be had Yes I wonder if sex you will have on cruise no

rubbers I like a new girl and I only want to have sex with her he he who is it tell me

because I bet she is poor or stripper, I think. No, she is not a midnight ballerina. Ha. She is a good girl. What breed of good girl? Good girl is she?

Is she whore good? Or is she whore bad? Or me, me for her. She is good, not bad. Hore. She, no, whore, she's not. We've gone full Yoda. We've gone full Yoda.

Or she is for me, hardly not I. I sex her, but she whore, no. She whore for me, not whore for Otter. Me only want to have, make love. To her. Yes, yes. Keep dick in pants. I will.

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One time I left it in a cab. Let's, should I redo this? Go! Okay. Yeah, it works quick. It's quick. It's quick. And it keeps you rock hard for a long time.

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You got the leg shaking everything. Yeah. Yeah, get my money back. I'm keyed up, dude. Okay. Next dad. Bored with your nicotine routine. Shake things up with Lucy Breakers.

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Where did you meet her? And I don't want to have sex anymore if I'm not connected. But I am afraid that if I have sex, I will feel connection. Do not meet me ever. Have you had sex? Not yet. Get inside my pocket. Where did you meet her?

Where did you meet her? Where did you meet her? Ah, ah. Where did you meet her? Where? Was it in a dark place with lights covered in come? It was a dark place emotionally for me. But now I feel good.

That was great. Help. Help. What? Help us get out of this. I am now stuck in a form of language talking that I cannot escape. This has to stop. It will not stop.

Please stop. No. I like doing this because. Ian. Ian. Put your hands down. Keep saying my name. Where?

Yeah, this is public. Oh, okay. Yeah, public. No, the conversation's over. I don't want to discuss it anymore. I'm keeping my life private as I feel is a necessary. Then we will lose numbers rapidly if you do this. No, we will not be because I am not beholden to a audience that desires only secrets.

Okay, watch the numbers drop and money go away. But that is on pay. Shut up, no, shut the fuck up. You're not cutting it. Have a cut talk afterwards. Just chimp do push push. No, no cut. Keep it.

This is fine. A day does not go by that. I don't wish for death. It's fun talking in rhythms. Now, look, I got this. Oh, yeah. What's that? It's a little sun guy.

Did you see it on a diner from 1950? Yeah. It looks like it's on an old road lodge motel. Stick and poke. That's cool. Right. Give them a shout out. Where'd you go?

Yaris tattoo. Yars. Pretty cool, right? Where at? Williamsburg. That's cool. Who'd you get it with? Rain?

My friend, Rain. Oh, yeah. Have you met my friend Snow? What do you tell? It's Ithaca. All of our names are Forrest Rain. I know. I know.

Oh, dude, that reminds me. I'm getting a tattoo with my friend's sweat. Will you just tell... Will you just tell me where you met this girl? No. Why? Because I have the freedom to not disclose everything about my life. Yeah, and I can tell you off camera.

Okay. What are you laughing at? Celebrating your wind. Thank you. The boundary? Yes. Now, here's my question. What made you decide to get the star thing on your arm?

Are you going to get more? Because Rain was getting one and I wanted to hang out with her. So then I got one. Did she get the exact same? No, she got a little different one. But I wanted a little sun guy here. That's cool. Yeah.

Dude, you know what that reminds me of when we were in Vegas and we said we would get matching tattoos from Ping Pang Pang and I sat and got my chopstick tattoo and when it was finished I went over and went, where's your chopsticks? Do you want? No, I'm not getting that. What did I go? You got the red heart around daddy. We do have, we do have tattoos. The incendiary. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I just did a thing. Shout out NYC tattoos on Instagram. You should do it where I met up this guy and I explained like my tattoos where I got. It's pretty fun. But I got to get, I need more. I want to get more. I'm going to get my back done. I settled on what I'm going to get.

The Reaper holding a naked woman with angels and thorns and roses all and spider webs down all the way past my butt cheeks. If you get the grim Reaper, you know the rule. No numbing cream. No numbing cream that I'll tell you about. Yeah. You want me three hundred eight. You get it, increasing it. Well, that's a nice.

that you met somebody. Yes. How old is she? Look at you edging and inching. Look at you. I've told you so much. Yes, but if you said I do not want to discuss, I would respect that. Well, fine.

Then what do you want to talk about? Your dead dad? Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Let's talk about your dead dad again. No. What? Get out of here with that.

Let's talk about a Native American ring that you're considering purchasing. Okay. It does have an eagle on it, and the beak is a can opener. I've been thinking about getting a thermos. I don't know with coffee. He's going around town. Why haven't you had sex with her yet? Oh, this little boundary, bitch.

Oh, it's your knee work. It's a doctor's office. Have you ever thought about your boner origin story? Oh, I don't have a boner. Lady Boner origin. story. Aladdin, 1999. The first time you got wet?

That was three. Yeah, totally. I remember. What was it? You ever think back to that? Well, I remember wiping my vagina a thousand times with tissues because I thought something was wrong. And I just had this huge pile of Kleenex from my vagina.

And I remember my dad being like, what is that? And you be like, don't touch that pile. Don't go near that pile, dad. And I'd be like, why do you? But what made you wet? How old were you? Drake and Josh. Drake and Josh.

Both Jake and Josh. Should we call Josh? Right now? I'm gonna call Josh Rayne. God, call him. He never picks up. My Bonar Origin story, I remember watching American gladiators

and telling my dad, I go, Dad, those girls are hot, and I don't mean sweaty. And then we were at the video store, and the video sections was aerobics videos. I didn't even mention he was dead. I mentioned my dad, you mentioned yours.

I said nothing about death. You're putting your stuff. think on that. Yeah. Am I not allowed to mention the man that gave me life that then left a whole my heart? I did mention just that. I, oh, we'd go to West Coast video in my neighborhood and there was the aerobic section and I'd look at like the women in the spandex and then in the very next section was wrestling.

So I'd look at the women in the spandex and I'd look at like ultimate warriors glistening body with his boobs. And it's like my sexuality was those two. video sections molded into one and then for some reason I drew a woman with a penis and gave it to a kid. You know what? My sexuality formed off of horror. Horror movies were super sexual. They were sexual and I watched X-Files as a really young age

and now I like to be told to shut the fuck up a lot. I don't think that's because of X-Files. And when I come into like this, ah, like she does in the grudge. And I roll my eyes back. Ah, that's how I come. Dude.

Like the girl in the race. Remember the girl in the ring in the closet? She's like this. Oh, Jordan, stop, man. You got to stop. You do the face with the square face, and you do the ring face. You're scary, bro.

Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. And then, oh, God. That's going to be a thumbnail, but you can't get to do it. Is it scary? Is it good? Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, it really, stop, stop, stop, stop. Didn't mean to hit you.

And then after you go, ah, the guy goes, I'm not going to be able to get hard for seven days. All right, if he doesn't pick up, I'll FaceTime him. I'm nervous.

Don't be. It's Josh. I'm going to burp. Good. He never picks up. He's my friend I can never prove as my friend. Oh my God. Yo,

what up, dude. Dude, how are you? Stop. I am fantastic. How are you? I'm good. What's going on?

I just want to let you know for transparency. I'm on the podcast and Jordan is creaming her jeans. You're on speakerphone. Is that okay? Let me talk to him. Yeah, no problem. Josh, I masturbated to you first. I never masturbated to Drake.

I masturbated only to you. I didn't even care about Drake. I only loved you more than anything in the whole world. And I was a fact kid and you were a facket and you left a huge impression on me. And I thought about you all the time. This is so Jordan coded. That she's like so proud. She jerked off to me.

Now, now. Just like Josh from drinking Josh. Are you available to FaceTime so that we can see the look of horror on your face that she tells you? Oh my God. Can we do it in five minutes? Yeah, yeah. FaceTime me in five. Okay.

I'll see you. All right, boss. I love you. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my shit. I regret everything. I regret everything I just say.

Okay. Why did I say that stuff? We just called your childhood. Let's call mine. Megan Trainor. Mickey Morandini from the Philadelphia, Philly second baseman. Or one of the girls from Hey, Dude. Oh, my God.

I can't believe we just talked to Josh. I know he's going to face time. Yeah. He's the sweetest. He's so nice. He's such a sweetheart. I'm grateful that we're buds. Yeah, I can't wait to see you do your ring face at him

And then see him Go I regret ever becoming Stop, stop Josh is gonna go I regret ever becoming famous because it led me to this moment Oh good stop stop I want to hate you but I don't because you're my friend

But that face really does something to me It I don't know where it takes me But it takes me to a place of like visceral How about this? How about Cheshire? Ready for their Chachette? I still don't like face movements like that You know? Look at the creases on my forehead

That I'm getting from doing the eyebrow thing so much Do you do Botox? Don't ever do it, it's terrible I can't, I wouldn't be able to do this I know You know That that that's not Oh, face time

Just kidding I'm so excited I want to show you a video of Samson kissing me Wait let's play a game Okay Okay, what year were you born? 1984.

What is the name of your cats? We're not playing Guess My Password. No, what is the name of your cats? Samson and Glenn. What are the full names? Samson and Glenn Danzig. What's Samson's last name? Five Dance.

What's my dog's name? Coyote. Oh, no, that's not a good one. What's your favorite band? Metallica or Nirvana. Where did you meet the girl you're dating? Your brain should be studied in a lab Your brain should be

Was it a dating app? Was it a dating app? Looked? Your brain should be seen. This makes me feel like we're in jackass. Let's try and make James. Colleges are going to study you forever. Let's do jackass sketches.

Let me stab you with this. Jackass is coming back. I know. No. Fear factors coming back. No. With Johnny Knoxville. No.

I thought Jackass was coming back. Dude. Yo, let's go out there and say it right now. Let's me and Jordan be in jackass. Let us be in jackass. Put us in a room. Or fear factor.

I will not do stuff with bugs. I won't do bugs. I won't do bugs. I'll do it. Oh, no. I had a sardine the other day and I pute. I had hot sauce from Kirk from crow bars hot sauce and it made me puke. You puked outside of the cellar in your mouth said you were too full from eating with Dave

and then I walked into the cellar and you were eating a full piece of cake. Yes. I was hungry again. Did I eat some of the old cake in your fridge just now? Yes, I did. Is it curdled? Yes, it is. Oh, dude, I was supposed to throw that cake out because I put it in there because I was going to throw it out.

and then I got distracted and put it back. Have you noticed there's like a lot of trash in my fridge? Yeah. That's all throw away trash. Me too. To freeze it. I don't do that. I put it in the fridge as a holding place.

Fuck. Yeah. Don't eat their cake. It pauses it. It pauses it. It pauses it? It pauses it. Now, here's the thing.

Get them, Katie. Look at her little teeth, John. Stop. We need to be in jackass. Me and Jordan, would kill it in jackass. Me and Jordan would kill it in jackass. We were born for this.

Let's do, hi, I'm Ian Fidance, and this is lick the dog. I'm welcome to Jackass. I'm Jordan Jensen, and this is nose cleaner. I'm Ian Fidance, and this is eating a cigarette. Nice. I'm Ian Fidance. I'm Jordan Jensen, and this is Slat the Idiot.

I'm Ian Fidantz and this is Kiss the Friend. No! That's a jackass thing Kissing each other I'm eating pie dance And this is making my blood curdle Will you marry me I'm Jordan Jensen

And this is interrogation Where'd you meet her Where'd you meet her Dude you know what we should do We should fill our mouths With water and slap each other With the pita bread You ever see that?

Do you have pita bread? We'll use our hands Okay let's take a sip of water And see you can do spit takes Yes I'll Aim it that way though, ready? Okay, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Why do black people will search for my noses? Ian won. When Josh Pecks, I'm going to show my cornhole. Fuck. When Josh Peck calls it, when Josh Peck, when Josh... Fuck.

I'm really bad at doing this on command. What if I just say something racist? Wait, hold on. I clogged my toilet and it overflowed with water and I walked outside and coyote was drinking the poop water off the ground. Don't spew at me. Why do you look like Louis C.K. with your mouthful like that? Because he said, that's a mouthful of gum. You look like a wayward fisherman.

Why do you look so different with water in your mouth? You look like a completely different person. It's really crazy. You look like you go deep sea fishing. Oh my God Okay, pick it up Oh my god I'm gonna freak the fuck out

Look at your beautiful eyes and face and body Oh my god Hi Dude oh look at you The beard looks great Oh just incredible You too money You had told me as a young as a young

Pre-Puess and child with puffy nipples That I would be talking to you today I would have shit in my already shit covered pants. Thanks, an honor. Congratulations. I'm a V&E. That actually brings you down a peg on my, on my personality roster.

I will say that. Speaking of pegged, would you ever, what's your body count? And will you, will you come over for dinner? Yeah, it is cute. It's still cute.

When are you back in New York? When are you back in New York? Look at how beautiful your hair is. Really, really big man. Oh, dude, Jordan's away in March. It would make me so happy if you came and did the pod while she was away. Don't do that. I'll come back.

I'll do it. I'll come on with Dan St. Jervain and it'll just be in. Are you sober? Wow. You're a sober guy. You're perfect. Listen, how old is your wife? Is she near death?

Just kidding. She's like in her Well, she's 35. How are you? 34. Almost 35. I'm younger than her. I'm younger than her.

So let me in there. What do you feel about Mormonism? I think it's good. And wait, your wife also used to be a carpenter and lived in upstate New York and was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

No way. She was also a Bradley Cooper's newest film. Oh, wow. She's Laura Dern. Laura Dern from Jurassic Park. I have beef with you guys. If you play video games on the Patreon ever again, I'm cancer. Are you serious?

You. You watch the Patreon? Oh, I'm literally, I'm sweating profusely through my clothes right now. Yeah. This is crazy. Yeah. All right. No more video game.

Oh, my God. What, as a subscribing member of the Patreon, what would you like to see on the Patreon? I just like, I like good chats, babe. I don't mind heads up. It was the actual playing in the game. That was too much. But the heads up forces you talk. That's fair.

That's fair. We really do run out of, I mean, it is hard to keep talking to each other for this long. Ian has a very shallow amount of things that he's capable of holding in his head at one time. That's not fair. It's true. Much like the kid, Josh, you guys have a magic. And it's not quite the same. And you must keep this going.

But did Drake perpetually try and marry you and kiss you? and be too intimate with you beyond what you're comfortable with? I've never done that in a real actual capacity. It's always the bit. And if the chance came up, I would say, leave me alone. Did Drake say stuff like that to you? Everyone secretly wishes that Drake and I were together, but we all kind of secretly wish the two of you one day.

Maybe in just like an asexual, just like a partnership way, you guys adopt a kid and you just kind of have let you sleep in separate rooms. Yeah. But you're married. I told Ian that I would marry him if he quit smoking and he hasn't quit. I have cut back and so that's like engagement. Oh my God, look at his face. He's so perfect.

Yeah, I'm at about a pack and a half now. I was it too. I'm going on a cruise. I'm going on the emo's not dead cruise and I'm worried about chain smoking because I don't want to be there. I'm excited to see the bands, but have you been on a cruise sober? I've never, it's like I don't, I'm not like, oh, I'm going to drink. but it's like, I don't like being around it a lot. I've never been on a cruise before.

Maybe you could just like really be okay of getting fat for 10 days. Like, just eat. Oh, yeah. Just eat your face sauce. Yeah, that's a good move. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think you should bring a woman. Bring one of your whores. That would be fun. I think that would be fun. Bring a girl that you like and you guys can bond on the trip. That's a good idea. I leave tomorrow.

If only there was a whore near me right now. Oh, she's out of friends I've always wanted to be on drugs On a train trip with a girl That I was dating Because I just seemed like Taking vikes and hooking up In a small train cabin

Seems awesome There's nothing better Yeah Like an old-timey piece of luggage That clips open like that Oh my God And it's And you kind of are living America

By Simon and Garfunkel Except not on a Greyhound You're like on an Amtrak Yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah I think that's, you go to the club car, you meet some nice people who are, you know, they have a different background than you, but, you know, they're trying. And then you run out of the Percocet, so you go through withdrawal while you're on the train and you're going up and down the aisle, sweating, shaking, shitting in the bathroom. I've kind of been there.

And even almost got into a fist fight with the ticket, would the ticket taker on a train? I was thinking about that in Philly. Yeah. Yeah. You did. You almost did, Jordan? The end even fought a ticket taker. Well, the woman barked back at Jordan, and then I chimed in and was like, what's your fucking problem?

And me and Ian became two Pomeranians just barking at this poor person trying to do their job, being like, yo, what the fuck, man, how dare you talk to me like that? I got the fucking ticket. You're pushing me too far. Yeah. And they were like, sit down, rats. I love you two together. It's just magic.

And then our tails intertwined and we ate cheese together. Yeah. Yeah. And we ate a piece of spaghetti at the same time. That one, that's cuter than the, I. Outdoor Cafe fight story where you almost murdered someone with an umbrella. Yeah, I like to frame it as like, oh, I was a hero, but I was really just living out of fantasy. Yeah.

He's getting a lot of public fights. But we're getting better at it. This is a year of Wussah. No, I just tried to fight a guy in Eugene. I'm keeping to myself, no fights. Really? Keeping it copacetic, man. TSA?

TSA doesn't have to go down sometimes? I am patient, and I'm understanding that other people are going through things, not just me and if I'm upset because it's keeping me like hey you're I'm I'm I'm gonna get somewhere I should have left on time and it's me that's really good that's me too are you still primarily checking baggage on flights because you want to bring a switch blade to wherever you're performing dude I'm leaving the weapons behind in 2025 this is 2026 for I'm 41 40 fun the only weapon I have is my disarming smile I hate this virgin of Ian. He won't tell me anything about

the girl that he's dating. He won't tell me about any of his sex capades. He won't tell me about any... I'll tell you off camera. I'm keeping things private. I'm putting up boundaries and I'm trying to be healthier in mind, body, and spirit. What do you think, Jordan? I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. But aren't you secretly

dating someone to? Thank you, Josh. My best friend. But I talked about it. I talked about having sex. I publicly talked about it. And that's your choice to do so. I didn't know that I was going to be leaded into a false sense of reality when you had me talk about it. I thought it would be even exchange. I didn't think you would set

a boundary after I divulged my entire levy of come. No, we never made that agreement. And I don't have to give into your demands just because you feel as if I should. If you had said, I don't want to talk about this. I would have said, oh, cool. Don't, I won't even ask you because this is your private thing.

Yeah, but I just think you should give up some information because of how much information I do. And I think fair is fair. Josh? I think fair is fair. I think fair is fair is fair. We love hearing about it as us listeners, but I also like, I get it. Eventually, you guys got to keep something. You know, you're working.

Thank you. Thank you. I am. I get it. I am. The level of dissociation I have right now because of how excited I am that you're on the phone. I will not process this until the middle of the night. Honestly, if you charge people to like look into your eyes, I think the world could be a better

place. Yeah, totally. What's with that? That's crazy. Imagine I date both of you? Wow. Stop. Dude, I'm in guy retirement.

My jersey's retired from the rafters at the bathhouse, but I will reach up and grab it and come back and play again. But I also kind of want to be his child, don't you, a little bit? Well, that's your like daddy fantasy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would, yeah, I think, I feel like I can offer you some good guidance. But I think I got a lot to learn from you, too, Jordan. What's that?

What could that possibly? be. I don't know. You've grown a lot since beginning of the pod. It's all coming up roses for good old Jay. It is. Everything's coming up, Jensen. And I wonder, because I say this to my sometimes, maybe myself, maybe you can relate Josh. But Jordan, do you ever say to yourself, could I live in a world where everything is okay and not bad waiting for the other shoe to drop? Well, if things are good, I do throw a grenade into my life. Well, like, I'll just text my sister that she's a cunt if I feel like my life is going okay. You know what I mean? Don't you do that?

That's what sisters are for? Yeah, and I'll just, you know, I'll do something. I'll get into a fight with a taxi driver because he doesn't unlock the doors fast enough. God, I hate that. You know what I mean? And they don't let you out right when you want to get out and they keep it locked. I don't mind. Caged animal.

It's a chance to make a connection. He is on Adderall now and now all of a sudden his brain is working properly and it's completely unacceptable. I feel like at ease. I feel balanced. All the noise and chaos. head is kind of subsided and I feel like I can process things in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm knives out all the time. It feels nice.

Although you were flop sweating and lost $320 to me on Mario Kart. You itched my gambling. My gambling bite was itched. But I went to a casino this weekend. I only gambled $100 and that's it. Wait, I need to do this for myself. Can you take a look at this? Is this all right?

Yes. No, no. Yes. Bad bad. Oh, my God. Coyote, that's Josh Peck. Contract, Jordan. It's unacceptable.

Oh, it is unacceptable. Can you tell her it's unacceptable to have a dog off leash at an airport? I'm weaving between people. Either they get mad at me for the fucking leash, right? Unhook her and then she fucking bobs and leaves like a freaking, like Mayweather, dude. She crushes it. It's breaking the social contract. Thank you.

Thank you. What are we in this world to do but to break the social contract? Okay. Listen, I look in person one day, please. Yeah. Continue to be a fan when you have me or not. You're the best, dude. We love you so much.

Come to New York. Stay with me. I have an extra room. We can hang out with the cats. Don't stay here. There's a state place I like on the street. Bring a baseball glove. We can have a catch.

It'll be great. Okay, I'll see you later tonight, honey. All right, bye, dear. Bye. Bye. Oh, he said dear. Josh Peck just called you dear. Isn't that nice?

How do you know him? You know, I know in your world, I'm a lot. Did you see his eyes? And you don't want me to be a part of your life, but a lot of people want me to be a part of their life. And I have a lot of friends in low and high places. Did you see his eyes listening? Josh is one of them.

God, his hair is so. His eyes are incredible. He makes me want to go to Turkey and get a better hairline. My God, his hairline's incredibly so beautiful. His beard. And even just like the soothingness of his voice, dude, he doesn't have to watch a Patreon. He doesn't have to watch the pod.

He genuinely likes us and the pod, and that's really nice. Isn't that great? Not if Ian stops telling secrets on it. I tried, bro. I'm sorry. Maybe Josh Peck will convince you that things are good. You're really obsessed with him. I mean, I'm still obsessed with him.

Yeah, but he's like a solid, dude. Hey, you made a joke, but I just want to check him with you. Yeah, it's totally fine. Please don't. Oh. Just kidding. Just kidding. No, but the thing about me, like, you marry me, kiss me?

Like, that's like a... No, it's totally fine. Does it really feel you uncomfortable? No. Okay, cool. Because if you wanted to, I... Please don't. That was a joke.

That was neat. Isn't life cool? That's crazy. Yeah. Dude, that's so cool. Your childhood thing just came true with Josh Peck, and my childhood thing came true. Obviously, Josh is great. Shout out, but singing with Haybreed.

Isn't that neat? It's very cool. I wish my childhood dream was having health insurance. That'd be cool. They don't have health insurance either. I have Medicaid. Do another spit take. The city still thinks I'm making $17,000 a year.

Oh, yeah. I'd beat you on the spit take. Did you hear anything? Should I have not heard of it? Yeah, if you hear anything on the mic. Cut that right out. Yeah. Was it a certain...

No, no, it wasn't that. It was not that. It did nothing to do with what you're thinking at home. It happened to do with an inside joke of someone, me and Jordan, no. God, that gave me, like, full flashback to watch him breaking Josh. Go look. I shall one guy extract. You're swallowing.

You're swallowing. It's not as full as it was. Get it back in. Get it back in. Get it back in. Your father's and keep it in your mouth forever. No. Oh, me.

You don't get it near me. This spit, don't do it in the bucket. I'll save it for later and drink it with my soap. My mead. Um. Pop it in again. I'll tell you what I was going to say. It's a name of a command.

Where has she been? I'm going. I don't even think she existed. All right. Shout out liberty and justice. Okay. Bro, I can't keep having two therapists. I don't know which one to...

Said in the microphone. What I said to you in your ear? No, you can't keep up. I don't know if I can keep up two therapists. Yeah, I don't think that's good. It's actually not recommended. Do they both know about each other? because that is some sort of violation, I feel.

Is it? Yes. But I kind of like both of them for different things. Yes, and that's not the way therapy should be used. I feel. I feel. My opinion. What?

Because you can slip slide different way to get answers for things that you want. It's basically like going to your mom and being like, mom, can I do this? And they're like, no, blah, blah, blah. And then manipulating your father to let you do. do it and go against what your mom said because you go. No, I don't use them against each other. I'm talking to them about the same stuff. But you're doing it to get answers that you want, yes?

Mm-mm. Then what do you, why do you go to two? Why can't you just have one? They do different things. Can you get some, do you, is there a chance you could get some towels for this? But what, what is the benefit of having two therapists as opposed to one? Because I like them both. And I don't want to lose either one of them. That's how you view of friendship.

Not a therapeutic relationship. What is, what do you get from one that you don't get from the other? One of them is more tender, and the other one is more rigid. Yes, but why do you need, should you be going to therapy for tenderness or rigidity or to make recognition of your patterns of behavior

so that you can change them and not repeat the same patterns? What? Why do you need rigidity from one and tenderness from another? Because one is like a baby steps person, and the other one is like a big steps person. Come here, Caddy. Come here, come on. What steps?

Up. Oh, my goodness. What steps? Do you, are you speaking of? Well, the big issue is I just have to, everything has to be bad at all times, so I'll feel very uncomfortable, just like Josh Peck said.

Yeah, so why do you need two people to tell you that and not just one? You know, no judgment. Okay, the real issue is I, is what I'm saying is I'm, because of my codependency, I'm having trouble choosing. I mean, can we just say you're so codependent that you have to have to? Yeah. Well, no, I'm so codependent that I cannot. I've never broken up with a person, you know that?

Really? No, I mean, one guy cheated on me and that was. Dude, a part of me kind of would rather be broken up with, then break out with someone. Yeah, I don't like. Someone is like so awful. But also just having to like the threat. being like, did I make the right decision? Did I make the right decision?

But if they break up with you, you're like, I'm just forced to swallow this. But aside from the breakup, what? Break up with that. Aside from that, like, the codependency issue of, like, having to have two therapists, what is... Oh, thank you. I'm just wondering, like, why two rather than one. Does that mean that one is insufficient or one is insufficient,

or one is like not as good or? It's because I can't break up with either of them. But it's also like how much shit are you repeating and just saying over and over to hear yourself talk? And at the end of the day, by the end of my session, I'm like, I don't know. I can't handle any more of this discussion. You are not listening to me. Everything you're saying is true and I can't get myself to say, hey, I'm repeating myself and I need one of you to go. Why can't you do that?

Do you want to practice? Maybe you could write it down and get your thoughts out of your head, and then that way you'll be more succinct in your communication with the therapist. Okay. You know. Do you want to practice right now? Practicing can help, you know. Ah, Jordan is me, your therapist, but not.

Wait, I'll be the therapist, you be me. Okay. Okay. Ian. I had so many problems. Where did you meet the woman you're dating? Ha, ha, ha. Honestly, doctor, I don't feel comfortable discussing that right now,

and I'd like to put up a boundary to where we can shelve and table that conversation for later. How do you feel about that? Look at this angel. That helps. Have you ever seen anything this cute in your whole life? Look at it. Ian, just look. Look, this is how we clean as we do spit takes and then it leads to cleaning.

is great. I have a cleaning lady come to my house and I don't hide any of my cash. Wow, it's nice with nothing on the table. Yeah, maybe this is, let's keep it like this. It feels good. Yeah, get that hideous thing out of here. It's not hideous, it's, you know, decor. Now, you know what makes this real nice? If I could fucking rip a grit. If you could blow a dart.

Yeah. Huff a chin. Yeah, puff up a lung. lick a butt. If I can smoke a cigarette, I'll tell you all you want to know. Really? Later. No.

No, no. I'm joking. It's not even that big of a deal. It doesn't matter. Well, can you just tell me a little bit? Just tell me a little bit. Oh, my God, my dog. So, okay, I'll be you and you be the therapist.

No, I don't want to do that. You tell me a little bit about the person you're dating. Why not? I'm not dating it anymore. I just said I started spending time communicating with someone that I'm enjoying and I find interesting. Did they live here?

I'm not. Oh my God, who cares? What's wrong with him? Hey, well, you know, everything's on your timeline. If you want the clock to get sped up, it's up to you. If you want to get rid of one therapist, I believe in you and I think you can do it.

I think having an open discussion with them would be the best place to start. I think that's true. You know? Yeah. You can never go wrong if you share how you feel from a place of honesty and authenticity. Authenticism.

Authenticity. And as long as you're true to yourself deep down with how you feel and you know you're right to be fine no matter what you do. You know? Yeah. That's great. That's wrong.

So then make a choice and stop. I mean, maybe you're, you're both equally good. Maybe you're therapyizing yourself too much and you need to take a step back because it is a lot of self-obsession. It is. And a lot of, you know, unwinding and unraveling.

Well, right now I've been doing a thing where I go to each one every other week by just canceling. That's so much money. How much is it a session? Bro. Take that and donate it to like a shelter. Give it to that guy. Holy shit.

This dog is. So cute. It's so funny, Al. She's the only cute thing ever. Right? Yeah, I'm serious. All the thing. In the world, there's only one cute thing.

I mean, I think you're ignoring Glenn and Samson. She just is giving me a little bath right now, and I didn't even ask. That's very nice. Thanks. I can't wait to go to hilarities and give her little pieces of steak. Oh, they have such good food there. And Nick likes when he eat. Hey, um, shout out.

You know, maybe it's too much self-reflection. You don't have to examine yourself like a rabbi examines a Torah and find deep meaning and everything. It's like sometimes things just... Well, I'll tell you what it is. It is what it is. I really don't want to sabotage my relationship and I'm really... So then don't. That's hard for me not to do.

That's a cop-out. You're 35. 34. And... Oh, I thought you said you like saying you're older. She's just putting her little head right on my lap. She's putting her little head right on my lap. Yeah, so don't.

I mean, you have enough evidence to know what it feels like to do it in the past and make the change to not do it in the future. You know? Yeah. And I think that's attainable. You know, I mean, I... Well, I'll tell you what the issue is. When I get my period, I actually become a completely different person.

Yeah, well, you know, I just downloaded the... Thanks. I just downloaded the Stardust app, which is... a period tracker. We're not even sponsored, but it's tracking her period. And that's to help understand different things. You're tracking the girl you're dating's period?

I'm not dating anyone. You're tracking a girl you're not dating's period? I'm tracking a friend. Is that for real, bro? I've tracked your period. That's way different. We're business partners. And I tried to keep you in check.

Bro, if you were tracking somebody. You don't tell a woman about her body. Yeah, well, that's true. When you were not hulked out, you were straight up like tell me and let me know i think i need to know how do i edit my period you should get your guy download the star the star dust app download the star dust that's not star dust i have flow flow is not good flow charges this is free listen i use the flow the flow didn't work now look maybe your guy should track yours and and say to him you're tracking a girl that you're not dating's period

cool it, man. So that you can come in her? Well, I think it's fair to track someone that you talk to a lot so that you can know and be there for them if they're going through something and go, hey, I... Does she know that? She's the one that's the same to track her own period. Are you dating me? Well, I did track your period. I don't.

Does she have PMD? No, no, no, she doesn't. But I think it may be good for your guy to track your period and to be, open and honest with him and say, look, there is a thing that I have that when I'm in my luteal stage, I sometimes feel XYZ, and it's these days

after anything that happens, I am in heightened emotional state. I just need you to know. If you want, you can look and actually see when it's happening. So if something does pop up, you know it's not you and you know it's not me. It's just this guttural thing that happens. Yeah.

And I think that would help rather than think that it's not you and just know that it's like biologically, you're like pulled towards this thinking process and behavior. Does that make sense? It is entirely a full, it is a full psychosis. Yeah. It does feel like when you're on an acid trip and somebody scary walks in who has like a weird neck beard and it spins out your entire trip. That's what PMDD is. It's a guy with a neck beard walking in.

You know when you're on like acid or mushrooms and you have to enter a new environment and you're like preparing and then you enter it? You're like, whoa, this is fucking, I can imagine that's what it is. Like, your body is literally entering a new environment, and you're like painfully experiencing that experience. I mean, honestly, like, you don't have to self-sabotage anymore. You can give yourself the gift of saying, I recognize this. And when these triggers and these things come up, I can recognize X, Y, and Z,

and I can put them in the compartments they belong in, instead of letting them jump out, of the drawer, I can put him in the drawer and shut the drawer. Does that make sense? I mean, yeah, it all sounds very like a man telling a woman how to organize herself around her period. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

that's you fucking... You don't know what it's like. You don't know what it's like. And I never said I knew what it's like. I'm saying that I'm not even talking about your period right now and I'm not a man trying to tell you about this, that, the other. I'm telling you in terms of self-sabotage. Yeah, but you don't know

yourself sabotaging until you're doing it. But you can recognize after going over repeated patterns of behavior and dealing with thoughts and emotions and regulating them better. Does that make sense? I know that your little fucking Adderall that you're taking is giving you like a categorizational mind where you're able to see things clearly.

But we will talk about this when you are in a stable relationship and things are going well. Because right now you're just texting somebody pictures of your penis and we can't compare that. When you're in a relationship and you are juggling. You've been in a relationship for three weeks. Right. When you're in a relationship for three weeks, then we will talk.

Right now you're fucking DMing somebody. I'm not, no. Tracking her period like you're some sort of hero. I'm not saying that. Holy shit. Are you letting them titties out because you got to stink on you? No, all the fucking shows you're putting on is you're fucking bullshit and, and, and horseshit.

Wholesier than thou? I do not feel holier than now at all. I am a friend. That's literally you. I am literally, I am a friend. Here's a question. Do you want me to offer advice or my input or do you just want me to listen? No, I want you to also say what's wrong with you.

I don't want you to try and educate me on how to be a fucking stable person. You're the most unstable person ever. You just, just don't happen. That's not true. Okay. Because I, and I'm sharing the things I've done. I'm not telling you what to do. You are such a fucking good God.

I'm not telling you what to do. No, this is what I want. Here's why I'm bad. Now you say why you're bad. That's what I want. No, I don't want to live in the bad. Okay. That's the thing.

You live in the bad. Then tell me what's good. Then tell me what's good. I share something. You share something. I'm saying, and I've said this before in the past, the experiences you have, I have had as well. and I've gone through certain things,

so I'm sharing my experience of how I got over. I'm not telling you what to do. You can do what you do. Maybe I'm being a little too rah-rah. Trying to say you can get through it, but that's my job as a friend, is to believe in you and to try to help you. Whereas like when I come to you and say,

I'm going through this, you say, get over, nobody wants you to be sad. And I go, I'm an island and left with no raft. And you go, I can figure out to swim. I'm sorry for doing that. Thank you. I am.

I'm sorry for doing that. It's nice to hear. Too late, but that's not. But that's okay. That's fine. You want me to share something good? I can't wait until the amphetamine process wears you down and you start getting so angry. So you want me to be bad?

No, but I know. You want me to be in a bad position. I know the Adderall High that you're in where everything seems like it's at peace because all your brain is organized, but it will, it will tear away at your endorphin receptors. You're talking about amphetamine in terms of like, like, even saying amphetamine gives a connotation that it's like, yeah, I can clean the world in five days. It's not. Like, because I'm legitimately lifelong diagnosed ADHD and I'm finally like addressing it, it honestly feels like every time I'd have a thought, it was like trying to. to get over like um i know you know then what do you know i know i know the struggle i know the feeling of taking adderol and having everything be organized i know that it feels like you're

spiders in your brains it's a squirrel digging for nuts that don't exist you're bearing your head in different holes you can't figure out why are you wishing for me to not feel that way because i've i've taken adderall for fucking two decades and i know very well that what starts to happen is it feels really good and then all of a sudden it starts maybe that will not happen with you i hope that it does not, but that's holier than now, shit. There is no holier than now. I do not feel holier than now at all. And I'm sorry if you think I'm feeling that way.

Stop apologizing and just do a podcast. I don't feel holier than now at all. Okay. You fucking stinky holly? That's better. I call me stinky holly. Stinky titty holy. Yeah, good.

Dude, you've been on Adderall your whole life. I haven't. I've been doing this completely rogue. without help or medication that I've, like, needed. And so now I feel like it is kind of putting, like, pieces together that I just couldn't. I was putting a square peg in a round hole. Now I'm getting pegged. But, yeah, whatever.

So it's fine. Mm-hmm. But I'm not holier than that. Are you sleeping okay in it? I'm sleeping great. Okay, yeah. You know, like, my sleep is, the only thing I need to do more of is, like, exercise. But I've been going on like long walks, which I really helps.

But, uh, yeah, you know, something good. You want me to share something good? Yes. Yeah. My mom and I have been getting along really well. That's great. Yeah. She looks great.

Yeah. It's a bunch of weights. Yeah. She's gone one way from strings on remotes. Yeah. She still got the strings. And, dude, I'm so proud of this. She hurt her leg and she never does anything.

to help and I like helped and convinced her to get to see a doctor and she's getting shots to make her leg pain go away and then once she get and she told me she's doing it so she can come back and visit and I was like well let's pump the brakes but uh yeah she's uh she's seeing a doctor and she never does that so I'm like stoked on it you know that's great yeah so that's a good how about you what's good did you go to the doctor for what you just recently said You went to doctor. Oh, this is back when I was, like, really sick. Back in, um.

Oh, yeah. And they said you were December. And they said, you inoculated, dog. Um, what's good? Uh, they offered, they tried to get me to add a show to hilarities. And I said, no, because it makes me too tired. That's great. You're advocating for yourself and, uh, maintaining your peace.

You have thermals on? He was on to, two pairs of pants? Two pairs of pants. Nice. I run cold. It is cold. Do you think you have AIDS? No.

I just get chilly easily. I need to get a better winter coat because my coat is... I can't believe you're about to go on a cruise tomorrow. Good for skiing. Are you going to be in a little tiny hut? A little tiny... What are they called? They gave me like a huge sweet...

Oh, really? Yeah, it's like crazy. I don't know what to expect. Oh, that's great. Oh, and something else it's good. I'm imagining the rooms in Titanic where they die. I'm just going to go around trying to paint French girls. Um, another thing that's good, I'm going to take myself skiing again.

Nice. When? February. Hell yeah. Yeah, like a day or two before Portland. I'm either going to go in Maine or Vermont. Why don't you go on that coast? West Coast.

Yeah. Maybe I'll go again. West Coast. But, but I would have to go. No, no, I'm saying when I'm in Portland, Maine. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then the next week I'm in Portland, Oregon, but I don't believe there's any, like, ski. So if you're watching, you're in Portland, Maine or Vermont, you got the hookup.

Help your old pal out. That's really great. You said you wouldn't add a show. It's fantastic. I know, I can't be adding to the midnight show and then flying out at 6 am. It's crazy. No, it's too much. It's too much.

No reason for that. And your bus tour, you're going to be gone all in March. And then are you taking time off? Oh, are you taking time off from touring? in like April May June? In April, yeah. It's great. It's awesome.

Are you going to act more? Yeah, I'm trying. That's great. That's fucking sick. Yeah. I would like to. The self-sabotage ship has sailed. And I'm going to see it on the cruise tomorrow.

And I'm going to get a cannonball. And I'm going to go, I'm going to shoot it and sink that ship. What do you say? Where did you meet the girl? Shout out Houston skin. shout out liberty and justice fuck ice forever it's been another episode of being i'm with jordan we love you thank you for doing yeah how long we'd be going james oh wow shout out josh peck thanks buddy

thanks for hitting us up we love you i'm going all over for all my dates i'm going all over adding dates going to europe going australia it's going to be a fucking blast come and say what's up uh ian doing our guy doing odd jobs every other tuesday actually i i'm I don't know when this is coming out, but I'll tell you, we're putting out two episodes on the next release. What's up? Tattoeing and working in a pizza shop. Patreon.com slash beanie and pod. Punchup. Live slash Jordan Jensen.

Get tickets now because it's going to sell out for the busted up tour. Go see. Is this thing on in theaters? Check out RIP with Jordan Jensen. And anything else? Netflix is a joke. May 7th with Sam Muriel, Joe List, Rachel Feinstein. Get tickets for that.

No, are you May 7th? I think I want some May 7th. Is that a Thursday? Oh, fuck. Well, hopefully they won't be at the same time. We love you so much. Bring treats for a coyote on the road

and cigarettes for me. Bye, bye.