Bein' Ian With Jordan - Honolulu Blues W/Joel Walkowski | Bein' Ian with Jordan #207

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Author & great pal Joel Walkowski joins Mommy & Daddy to tell some true life stories from his incredible new book Honolulu Blues, including his sobriety, a heartwarming tale about his dad, & his...trailblazing...grandmother...yeah. SUB TO OUR PUNCHUP FOR EXCLUSIVES! All of our dates AND bonus episodes are now available in one convenient place, all for the same price as the Patreon! Visit punchup.live/beinianwithjordan Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast - Find & instantly book doctors appointments with ZocDoc @ http://ZocDoc.com/IAN - Buy 2 months of BlueChew Gold & get your 3rd month FREE when you use promo code SKA @ http://BlueChew.com/ Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Follow Joel! https://instagram.com/joelwalkowski Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Just for Laf's Montreal, July 15th to the 22nd. I get tickets, get badges. It's going to be a blast. I'm up there doing the nasty show every night. We're adding more shows, doing a bunch of showcases in Gales. So make sure you get on out to Just for Laughs, JFL, Montreal, 26, July 15th to 22nd. And then snag tickets to Richmond, Virginia, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Winnipeg, Brookfield, Wisconsin, the Milwaukee Improv, Charlotte, North Carolina, Dallas, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Springfield, Massachusetts,

Boston, Massachusetts. I'm going all over, Ianfinance.com, and Ian do. An odd guy doing odd jobs. Every other Tuesday, YouTube.com slash Ian Finance Comedy. We're having a blast. We're having fun. Come check it out and see what all the hubbub's about. Bub.

Enjoy the show. Telling jokes and having smokes. Riding back so through the night. It's a wild ride. With a wild when you're being in, coffee ice no matter what. Now you know he likes it in the butt. It's a wild ride.

When you're being in, being in. Life is shit, but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live alive. Being in. With Jordan. Hi, everybody. Welcome to another episode of, animal planet

with Ian Jordan, Glenn Coyote and our esteemed wonderful guests today, Joel Wolkowski. Guess which one is which? Thanks for having me on. And like, there's no better approval than like,

oh, a dog pops to the one in the lap, a great time. Where do you feel the rush of blood to your head when the cat chooses you? We'll get their cats. You know, you got to wait for them to come to you

so I'm being aloof. Yes. If you snap your fingers, whistle, say Glenn, he will jump to you. Coyote loves Ian so much and he could give a fuck. No, I do love her. Look at her snuggling on you.

I know it's nice, but she took the cat spot and that's fine. Look, she's giving kisses. I know, I know. It just means you sweat today, though. So, act of lifestyle. Yeah, yeah, it is. Look how piss Glenn is. A, Glenn, he's looking around going,

but why is she choosing him and not me? Do you have cats or dogs? I'm a dog person. Yeah, and Jordan and I were talking about the just advantages of a Puerto Rican street dog before we went on air. Yeah. They live forever.

What are the advantages? They just, every other person I know who gets a purebred, they're like, they have fucking some weird problem, some weird genetic issue. They're at the vet. Every other day,

dog surgeries, you get a street dog, they can eat anything. They're the nicest thing in the world, and they live forever. Yeah. What's a pure bread? Because they have so many,

pure bread would be like, I took a golden retriever, I mixed it with a golden retriever. Oh, okay, so not like a golden doodle. Or something. Yeah, golden bread. Did you know that the person who,

the person who came up with a golden doodle on his deathbed, he said it was his biggest regret. Yeah. Why? They're terrible dogs. Really? They die. They built a dog that dies.

What about cockapoos? I mean, I don't know what that founder said on his deathbed, but I can't look at it. I regret having cock in the name. Our dogs have 15 dogs in them. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Those dogs have one or two. That's like me. I got that dog in me. Yeah. dogs and me. You get a gay one, a straight one, a hungry one. A one that eats too much. There's a thing on Instagram of a mustache and tattooed neck.

And it said, why is this guy either the most fun gay man ever or the most evil straight man? And I was like, or both. Hi. Evil and fun, fun and evil. But I didn't tag. Just enough to be okay. Oh, she's copying. When they go like this?

Glenn. Glenn, come here. Choose Joel. Glenn. Glenn? You can't see it. Glenn is making progress. There's so.

Sloking across the studio. Look at him making his way. Downtown. Walking fast. Move him past and he's homebound. Here, tap your leg. Tap your leg. Oh, eye contact.

No eye contact is key. Yep. He will get him attention. Cats always have to be in charge. If you give him eye contact and blink, he will know that you are a friend and not foe. And he's checking out your book. Oh, he's checking out my book. Tell us about where you.

Tell us about your book. Good, good intro, Glenn. We are here to promote Honolulu Blues. The protagonist once gave Jordan a switchblade. So that's why we're coming full circle. Really? Oh, yeah, I was raised by a, I got roasted so hard here in the park. I was like, you know, I was killing time before the show.

And this woman's like, what's that book? It's like, oh, you know, it's kind of about having a special needs parent. She's like, oh, are you a special needs parent? Oh, my God. It's a parent, your special needs parent. It's like, sure, buy it. Was he special needs? I mean, he was giving out switchblade.

Dude, his dad gave me the sickest switchblade. I use it every day. Whose dad was the dad that was around a lot that was like crazy? Your dad or Kyle Ayers? My dad would go in the Bloomington Comedy Attic, he would just go into the green room, give comics a switchblade, loaded dice. Yeah, loaded dice. Two-sided coins.

And I was banned from that club without ever stepping foot in it. Oh, my God. Wait, your dad did this before you started comedy. No, I was doing comedy. But if I was, like, friendly with someone, I would be like, oh, go check out their show. And, like, limestone, he had season tickets. So, like, if anyone played Bloomington, he would give them a knife. And, and, like, you go.

With a blade that he sharpened for hours made of, what is this deal called? I mean. Delmont. Oh, did, did you get the French sailing knife for the? switchblade because he had two varieties he was very thorough the switchblade i got like a beautiful ivory green switchblade that i've like dropped really hard hasn't broke it's like so good it's my favorite and he dyed penniless but every comic in the country has a good knife a really nice knife it's crazy did he die penniless because he spent all his money on making knives switchblades

banjos leather work like he made my belt and then like let's see let's see let's see let's the belt. Oh, the belt is beautiful. Oh, my God. Python skin. Oh, incredible. And like, when you have a father like this, like, he wrote the book about, like, him with me as he was dying. So, like, I was his caretaker. So, like, on his deathbed, we wrote this book about his life together. So that book is about you and your dad. Yeah. And, like, he was definitely very spectrumy. So, yeah, for sure. So his only special interest that I liked was the, our, local football team. Detroit Lions never won, which is kind of like having an eccentric parent. You learn to like view them so they're enough. So that's kind of the backbone of it. Yeah. And you love them despite all their flaws. Yeah. It's just like, oh, I won't get advice, but I'll get 40 knives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. That's so cool. And then what was he,

what did he have? What was his illness? He had, well, he smoked a hundred cigarettes a day. And like, when I was his caretaker, you know the, if you have, Like C-O-P-D and heart disease. Yeah. It cuts off oxygen to your brain. So he has, he had panic attacks if he was like left alone. So like I left him alone for five minutes and he intentionally got himself sent to the mental institution. Really?

Because he got too scared. Yeah. In five minutes. Yeah. How? Well, you got to coach him through. He's like, look, if you say, you can't just say you're going to kill yourself. You got to say how you're going to do it.

Then they have to keep you. And so, you know. Holy shit. He knew his way around the system. Was it fun being a caretaker at all? That sounds fun, right? That sounds fun. That sounds like a boatload of fun.

Yeah. Yeah. Going to the bathroom and then your dad's hanging from a rope that's a bungee cord. Like, I got you. Use one of the knives I've made to cut the rope. You're just in like a hoarder home of like banjos in hides. It's like an Oregon Trail wagon. Did you have to sleep there?

I did. And it was inexplicably filled with birds. seed for reasons i will never understand he could he compulsively couldn't save money he didn't and so he bought like 500 pounds of bird seed but he had mice he never cleaned so the mice spread the bird seed all over the house everywhere you looked was bird seed wow did you care with siblings with friends wife only yourself just me just me i went out i put my life on hold I went to like kind of give him a nice death Because like you see how he's living like

He hadn't left his room in like eight months So I was like all right We're gonna have a nice death together But I needed to get something out of it So Hottaloo Blues So how long was this caretaking process And what do you mean you put your life on hold? What was going on in your life that you had to put a hold on?

And did you get your life back? No life ended. I was a newlywed to like a very aspirational woman and you know you can't be like oh i'm going to go help my crazy father meet his maker like it was just kind of a deal breaker grew apart so he died i got divorced and like kind of picked up the pieces with from there yeah wow so how long was this process um i mean you could it's kind of like that sort of disaster where you see it brewing for life for a lifetime i knew like my whole life him dying would be the biggest challenge i ever have

You know, so it was probably all of 2023. Wow. So a year, and you were staying there. Yeah. And you moved from New York to Michigan. No, he moved to rural Indiana, bought a shack. And so I had to close up the shack. I had to get him out of the mental institution.

Then I brought him up to the Detroit area where, like, at least I have a little bit of a support system. Right. And your wife wouldn't move with you. It was like she was doing her own thing. She had her own goals. She was like a theater star and like she was kind of taking off at the time. So like things were going great for her. Meanwhile, I'm facing every demon I ever conceived.

Right. Oh, how was the odd dishes? Like I got peed on four times today. Oh my God. And you guys, do you mind me asking these questions? No, we're here. Roll out of ball. Let's play.

So when she, so you say, how? How long are you married before you're like, I get to go and do this? And did you say, will you come with me or, hey, you stay here and we'll make it work? Like, how did this divide and break everything? And you know, I, I kind of, I'll say I'm married up a little bit. I'm from, like, feral Midwestern people. I married someone who is society adjacent. And my biggest fear was her seeing his house.

So I was like, you can't, you can never see the house. Right. Like the house was a real, like, everyone in my family is like a real, hoarder. So like, it's not gonna be like, here's a buffalo pelt that's like melted into the floor.

It's so decayed. Yeah. So we got married, big wedding. We were able to get him out to the wedding. He fell. He hit his head on a rock and like, fleshed everywhere.

I really wanted to go to that fucking wedding. Yeah, but that's kind of like a version of like a Jewish person breaking a bottle. Like that's your feral, woods people mazel. You know? Absolutely.

It's an old man going, I dropped all my knives. The beaver belt saved me from hemorrhaging. Yeah. Happy marriage. And we're like on the honeymoon and like, you know, it was his heart. So like he kept dying. And like for the longest time, we had a do not resuscitate. And for whatever reason, they kept accidentally resuscitating him.

And my dad like. Probably because he had a knife. He went, you could bring me back. Well, the thing is he loved Steve Martin. So every time he got resuscitated, he would wear that. arrow through his head. And so like, I would go into the ICU and this man would just be wearing this arrow through the head is like, I don't know where to go from here.

It's like, well, you know, don't cut off an archer in traffic. It's like, that's a funny bit the first time. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, I got the arrow through the head tattoo. Oh, that's great. Oh, my God.

Oh, I love that. Yeah, you got to. How old was he when he passed? He was like 72. He probably smoked 300 cigarettes. a day. Yeah. And like between Banjo and that many secrets. His fingernails were the craziest

thing you've ever seen. Oh my god. I'm just an odd guy doing odd jobs. I'll race you. I'm Ian Fydez. Hey, how are you? And each week, I'm in different towns across the country doing stand-up comedy and to keep me from rotting in my bed or putting a gun to my head. I get

you to teach me how to do your job. Ian do. An odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com slash Ian Fridayance comedy every other Tuesday produced by YMH. I got a rip a fart too, bro. Let it loose, toot, toot.

I'll see you out there. How long you've been working here? I loved him. It was so nice. It was such a, it was so, I really didn't like that club. I really hated that, the guy who ran it. Yeah. He was such a fucking piece of shit and he was so annoying.

And all the people there were like very woke whenever I went. And then I remember your dad showing up and being like, my man, here we go. You know what I mean? Just all these like blue-haired girls who are like, I don't think you can refer to that person as a heat. You know what I mean? And then your dad showed up and was like, I got knives.

And I was like, yes. I don't feel safe. I don't feel safe. We'll have a knife. You'll feel safer. Yeah, but he cosplay, like, he, like, 50 years old, he decided like, I'm a rural gentleman. So, like, he moved to, like,

Oh, my God, that's awesome. Ten miles outside of the nearest town wore, like, those fringe leather jackets. Yeah, yep. I have one upstairs. Oh, no. I'm turning it to your father. What a great way to go. Yeah.

Dude, side note about, okay, ready for this? So it was Father's Day, right? And I was on stage and I was talking about my dad, dad. And then all of a sudden, and then I go, oh, shit. I was like, I'm talking about my dad. It's Father's Day. Happy Father's Day. And people clap.

And I was like, anyway, about my dad. And then all of a sudden the lights above me start spinning and flashing on and off and like going crazy, like spinning in their things. And I was like, holy shit. And everybody's freaking out. And then they just go to dark and I go, God damn it. that is probably my dad. And then they shine really bright on me and just like start working again.

And the guy in the back just has his hands up and he comes up to me after the show. And he's like, dude, I've been doing this 13 years. I've never seen anything like that. That was the trippiest thing ever. Nothing was broken. I checked everything after you got off stage. It was so crazy. I mean, the signs are out there.

They keep communicating with us. That makes me so happy that that happened with you. And I was just like, dude. And I literally was like talking. I was like, dad, very funny, cool. Like can we? I have to get back. to the show and then it was like,

and back on. That's so great. So crazy. And it was like when you have a zany dad, like you know this, when something like that happens, you're like, that is some shit he would do. Just like fuck up the show and be like,

fuck you bitch. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're going to do their dad jokes in whatever medium they can, no matter how inappropriate or distracting. It was so weird. And people in the meeting great were just like, dude, that was insane.

That's awesome. They were spinning. I'm so glad that happened. Yeah, it was really, really weird. And it was almost so on the nose That I wasn't even that shocked about it Like it was so something my dad would do That I was just like

At any point did you go Sorry about him At any point did you go wow Now I understand when Ian says that there's signs And I won't shame him anymore That one was so weird Yeah but still it's like a beautiful Wonderful thing

Like you can explain it away But then to believe that that's actually like a thing I explained it away by a malfunction And then the lighting guy was shaking Talking to me That's amazing Dude that was him That was him

That was him you was saying hi and he loved you that's incredible yeah that's like the second one like that I love that yeah but you gotta earn the right to headline that club like he can't just he's skipping a lot of steps in the process I know I know he just walks in there and fucking that's like the equivalent to Amy Schumer

taking Sagalow off stage it's like your dad doing that how dare you so oh don't not every time every time I go home to see my mom there's always a sadness that she brings up about my dad, even though it was like 33 years ago. And I'm telling you, every time before, every day I leave, we wake up early and we drink coffee and we smoke a cigarette on the front step.

And dude, I'm telling you, every time a rabbit comes up and just looks at us and goes away. And on the very first date, my mom and dad had, they were like outside and this rabbit came up. So rabbits are like, right? And we're always like, oh, there he is. just saying hi. And even if it's just like not a real thing, it's just nice to be like, I think this is nice.

Yeah. You know, do you have any of that with your dad? I mean, really like, if a homeless guy comes up, he just flashes an eye, yeah,

if I ever get, if I ever get mugged, it's like, oh, papa, he's saying hi to me. I see the knife. I think of my sweet papa. No,

and it's kind of like the book. So my dad. You scare away the homeless guy. You're like, dad? He's like, fuck this. Can I have a hug?

And he's like, uh, never mind. No, but you hear like, oh, I wrote this book and like, I'm a nobody.

I'm the least successful person who's ever been on this podcast or any podcast. And you think, that's not true. Oh, okay. We've had John Kennedy on it.

No, I was kidding. But you hear people's like, oh, it took me years to get an agent, years to get a publisher. I signed with the first agent I went to. I sold the second pitch.

And like, it's just like anything's been guiding the process. And like, I think it's pretty good, but like the cosmic red carpet has been rolled out for this project. That's so cool where it's just been like a flow state through it. It's been a dream. How long did it take you to write the book? It took me three years every day where I would write pen to paper for like three hours.

You know what's so cool is like the last time I saw you, you just had a fucking puppet hand shoved up your ass from your wife. And we're just being dragged around by this bitch. And like I do. We got a long. and stuff, but there was a very big, she was just like very dominating and stuff and like you were doing good in the sense that your job was awesome

but it's so cool to see you doing a creative thing that you loved. It's kind of like sobriety too, right? Like I know we're both sobering us for a long time. Do you know smart? Smart's like the, an alternative to AA. Right, right, right. Like therapy based, right?

Therapy based. But like when I was young, I wanted to be a writer And the first thing I ever wrote got published And I decided, oh, I'm a genius. Yeah. And so I hold up, I drank, I peeled. I did every drug imaginable. And I wrote this.

Why you were writing this? When I'm like 21. Oh, right, right. And then like, I threw up all the blood in my body. I needed 14 blood transfusions not to die. Holy shit. And I was like, okay, writing's not for me. And so then I took sobriety seriously.

And they're like, what are your goals? And I'm like, you know, it'd be pretty sick to write a book sober. So that's where it started. Yeah. How long have you been sober? I mean, 11 years off, booze and five off drugs. Amazing. Because when I knew, yeah, I was a giant potter.

I was, you know, Jack. So, like, I was stoned all the time. But now it's just, like, nicotine gum and goals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, same, same. Well, dude, I always admired you so much because you were a part of, like, the coolest, subversive, like, punk rock group Wildcats. And I thought that shit was the fucking coolest, man. And I used to just be in the back of the creek with my jaw on the floor, like, just in all of what you guys would do.

Like you guys, you guys were like adjacent to murder fist. Yeah. It was like Eli Sayers, Jeff Lesser Smith made me. A show would start. Ball with the ball would hit. Yeah. You would come out with knives in leather and tattered jeans. And then like do like kind of three stooges style sketch comedy about like cutting off dicks and blood shooting everywhere.

Like calm and like all. all this crap, but it was like so like, holy fuck, I can't believe they're doing that. Like, it was the coolest shit ever. Before I got here. Yeah, and like a joke we do would be like, our biggest comedic influence is the kids in the hall. That's what we call the Columbine shooters.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like super dark, like, holy fuck, I can't believe this is happening, especially at a time when everything was turning into like, you can't say that, you'll get in trouble, blah, blah, blah, and like, I sound like such a loser, but you guys like went there and like in such a way that you weren't ed,

to be like edgy. It was like edgy because it was smart and funny. And it was like, I can't believe these fucking guys are actually doing this on stage right now. Who is it you, Eli? And Jeff. Jeff. It was Marshall Smith. That's so funny.

He's so funny. Yeah. What happened to Eli? Eli became a political activist. He's active with the anarchists and does a lot of mutual aid. Jeff became an inventor and did very well for himself. I ran into the street. Yeah.

What did he invent? The event of the soft, because Jeff was, like, legitimately a genius. Yeah. Like, kind of too shy to put himself out there comedically, but, like, great comic, but, like, couldn't quite stick the landing. But then, like, just adapted that and, like, built a nice life for himself. Yeah. Wow.

One time the hardest I think I've ever laughed was, do you remember when Kunal changed his name to Casey Aurora? And Jeff was like, what do he change his name to Rat Niche? And I was like, what? No. That's crazy. One time I saw him go up to Suba with a Sharpie and above her lip he said, oh, I'm trying to make it lighter. What was the name of that guy that turned into a weird porn star?

Michael Shockey, yeah. Not weird porn star, successful porn star. Really? Is he? Oh, yeah, because he had a business card. He had a huge haul. It was a picture of his dick and then he folded it out. More dick.

No way. Yeah. That's awesome. This guy, Michael's shocking. Didn't he have like IB or like Crohn's or something? Yeah, you got Crohn's, he got stabbed, and like, because we, like, you're one of the first people I met doing New York comedy. Like, we went to bike kill together one year. Yeah.

We had a great time, but like, it's really, it was kind of the Wild West still a little bit where you could be a little bit more reckless where the kids now, a little curated, a little feed. And now back in the day, it was just crazy. Half the people were just insane. It was insane. And there were these shows. It was wildcats. There was underbelly. there was a man i i i know murder fist would like come around every once in a while and i used to

like follow them around murder fist murder fist was like henry zabrowski jacky zabrowski uh ed larsson um holden yeah hold in a lot of like the last podcast on the left guys nelson podcast on that yeah a lot of that overlap they were like a sketch crew that would do you Do you know Anthony Antaminic? Yeah. He's like one of the most genius improvisers ever. He wants to do the show. We got to get him on.

But he was the president show. He would do Donald Trump. And him and James Adomian used to debate each other in 2020, 2016. He would be Trump and Adomian would be Bernie Sanders. And they would play like Bell House and like all over. But Antaminic was this like insane improviser that I used to just go by myself to like watch these things and like desperately wish I could be a part. of it because I thought it was like the most coolest subversive like wild shit I'd ever seen and I just I thought that you guys and like murder fist and shit was like the coolest. Hey everybody I have a question. What do women want? Start with a nice consensual dick appointment. Thanks to Bluetooth.

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where it's just like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We would... Yeah, they would throw like fish guts on people. Yeah, it was crazy. That was like a bit from my dad, actually, because my... I asked my dad was like, how do you get girls? He's like, well, at a party, you get a dead fish.

You go to a girl and you throw the fish at her. You say, watch out for the fish. I was like, okay, that's comedy. That's a good bit. So that influenced my arch. You throw the fish, or you watch out for the fish. Yeah. What how does that work?

I don't know, but like, memorable. My muse. Yeah. That's so funny. That's like a thing a girl in Buffalo, New York would do. Watch out for the fish. The pussy's coming next. You throw the bad smell so the pussy smell smells better.

Do you smell fish? Get ready to smell. Yeah, I just wanted to, I just wanted to preemptive it. Yeah. That's the appetizing. Tried that trick in the wrong. wrong town. Take it to Buffalo? I would have been rolling in it. Dude, Buffalo girls do be doing that. Just whip a pork chop at a man. Oh, that's the one I'm going

home with. I was working helium once in Buffalo, and a guy was getting his dick sucked in the bar, and the bartender's like, hey, you can't do that here. So they just moved slightly further back in the bar. Dude, Buffalo is crazy. It's crazy. I was just there, and it was like everybody's just blacked out, but it's still so fun. Yeah, and Buffalo and Detroit are kind of the same place. Yeah, Yeah, they're sister cities, yeah. Yeah, they've got a lot in common. So they know how to party. I always say feels like a divorced dad where it feels like it's just like one guy walking around.

Like they have everything. They have like banks. They have buildings. But it's one guy being like, if anybody wants to come over, you can drop a, I'm here. You know what I mean? Like when you go to a dad's house and he doesn't have kids there, but he's bought everything for them. But they don't want, they prefer to be at the mom's house. They're like, oh, we got, we got cars.

You just described the studio. Yeah. Yeah, totally. There's a reason I feel so at home here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it took you three years to write it. Three years to write it. And then did you have to edit it a thousand times?

I did like six drafts. And like my, my, my, but I was like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna edit it. I'm just gonna rewrite it every time.

I got a second monitor and that tricked me into like, no writer's blogger. I was like, oh, I just have to transcribe this and make little edits along the way. So wait,

when you, you said you worked on this with your dad. What described that? What do you mean? I did the first draft at his deathbed by, hand. Or I was like, what happened here? What happened here?

Because a lot of it's about his trauma. Because, like, my dad was a little bit weird because my grandma was a pedophile, which, honestly, female pedophile trailblazer. Yeah. Heroic. Yeah. But, like, he was kind of stunted where he was like a little bit like a little kid raised me.

Right. So. So he talked about that. Yeah. He was molested by her? Yeah. Oh, good. Like, physically?

Or was it? I wonder he surrounds himself. Was it like a covert incest? No, like physically, we're like, it was kind of just like he would always engage with bits because he couldn't really be a real person. So like you have a lot of time when someone's at the deathbed. So it's like, you can't go anywhere. Right.

Let's get to the bottom of this. And where's your mom during all this? They were divorced and like she was supportive but like friendly. But it's also her ex-husband. Like she didn't want any part of this. Right. Was there kind of a thing of like your dad was kind of stunted in a way? And it's almost like, well, your mom ended up.

shacking up with someone who was like a child. What is that about? A little bit, but my mom was also like, she had a kind of hard road. And like, I think it's just like both sides had a lot of broken people looking for any salvation they could. And like, are you an only child? I have a sister who didn't turn out great. Like, you know, street person adjacent.

So for me to just have a job is, I think, outkicking my coverage. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. and your apartment's sick. I got a sick apartment. Things have gone pretty well for me. And like regardless of what life throws,

I mean, like, I think I kind of handle the loss as well. And you stayed sober through all of this. Yeah. Which is incredible. I mean, well, the thing is like, I run the meeting so other people work, look to me. So like. Smart?

Yeah. Yeah. So what's the difference? Okay. No day counting. Differentiate between a lapse and a relapse. everyone shares every meeting. And then there's a facilitator who can at the end,

you go through like a worksheet or ask follow-up questions or give some advice. Is it like smaller groupings or is it open to the public, like an open meeting? It's open, but like the ideal meeting size is like nine people. Right. Or like I'll go to AA meetings or NA. Like I'll go to like the rock and roll ones on like 10th Street on Saturday mornings. Those are nice. But like it's just intimate because you get to know everyone so well at a smart meeting.

I like everybody sharing. Yeah. Like that. Yeah. Because there's so many times where I'm having the like, is my higher power telling me to share? Is it telling me to share? Should I not share? And then the meeting's over and I'm like, fuck, you know?

Yeah. And like we also don't have a higher power. But like, we get a lot of people like, oh, yeah, that higher power thing doesn't, I don't like it. And it's like, I think that's the most bullshit excuse. Like if you go to one 12 step meeting, like, they explain like, oh, the higher power belongs to you. It can be, it can be the spaghetti monster. Yeah, I have a joke about that. where I have friends who are like, I'm not going to do AA because I don't believe in that God shit.

And I'm like, well, when you black out, you DM Megan the Stallion. Like, you do believe in miracles. Okay, that's... You're describing something I've done and I was totally sober. Yeah, I know, but I used that example totally. It's hilarious. That is exactly what I did January 1st, 2025. Megan, if you're watching, answer back.

Please. I love you, Meg. But it is... You've had that happen where you have friends who are, like, sobbing and talking to their dead father because they're so wasted. And you're like, but you won't believe in a higher power. Again, that's me. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but I think the higher, like, there's a lot of lies. How much of me do you pull from to use this straw men in your set? But don't you guys have a creative partnership on some level? I see the puppets. I see the puppets. You see the puppets. Yeah. It's got to be somewhat open source.

Yeah, when I have to use the most extreme examples, I go, what would Ian do? What has Ian done? Mm-hmm. Just give me points on whatever you're selling. Yeah. So, yeah, the Meg, the Stallion one, it's a perfect example. I bet that gets a pop. Of somebody blacking out.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, like throwing a Hail Mary and believing in that, but they won't believe in God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember I was writing that joke and then you, on the podcast, like, I damned Megan's Stalian. I was like, perfect. Madlips for the act. It's helpful. Yeah.

So, so you were sitting there and you were being like, what about this, what about this? And was he, like, totally okay with opening up or was it tough? No, not at all. I'd ask like three, four times. I had to like pin him down. I was like, hey, I'm going to leave for an hour. Write down some of your traumas. Would you record it and listen back and write it?

Or were you straight up just dictating off of what he was saying? I'd record it and then I'd give him, I wrote it by hand, then I'd give him the notebooks to read to make sure he signed off on it. Because like, it's kind of a memoir, but it's really the story of being his son and just how like being raised by him, kind of fast-tracked addiction and how his death solved a lot of things for me. Mm-hmm. So, you know, I had the loop of them in.

Did you talk about your addictions in it and fucked up shit? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wow, wow. Because I was, like, I was put on Addera when I was, like, seven. And then I was, like, in arts phenom. But I was, like, was taking, like, 80 milligrams, pulling all nighters. So the first time I got, like, positive validation, it was just like, oh, I'm being a drug addict. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, they're doing, like, a sociological experiment.

They're, like, what if we give a child meth? Yeah, and I'm pretty open about the addiction thing. I don't know how addiction, ideations. Like if you're going to write a book like this, you have to put your nuts on the table where like, I'm open about everything. Was it hard to do it? No, I didn't think about it at all.

Really? Yeah, and I think like just get into a flow state, let the words come out and like, it's not until like right now where it's coming out where it's like, huh, people are going to know me well. I know. That's how I know my special one on Netflix, where I talk about wanting to fuck my dad in the whole thing.

And it came out and I was like looking at it on Netflix. And I was like, oh, shit. Like I was like picturing my high school teachers watching it. And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. It's a mind fuck. And friends would be like, oh, I can't wait to read.

I was like, you just have to buy it. You don't have to read it. Yeah. Are you going to do any? Like a book tour or anything? Yeah. And like because there's the sobriety angle, like smart has been like really cool. And I partnered with the Michigan library system to talk to like do addiction talks and

reading. So like trying to really go grassroots. because if there's one thing people hate, it's books. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. You got to trick them. Are you going to do an audio? I auditioned for my own audiobook, and I didn't get it. Shut the fuck up.

How do you audition? I read, like, the first two pages. And who said no? Amazon? The president of books? Yeah, the president of books is like, nah. He sounds a little bit too much from Michigan. H-J reader. So then does somebody else have to read it?

And then I can't. I had to cast it. That's crazy. But it's your story. Yeah, but. So why couldn't you read it? Because I sound like a baby with soup and its mouth. Yeah.

Yeah, but that's a part of it, right? It's a part of it, but I can only imagine me, and it would have taken them seven weeks to record this. Yeah. There's some people, there's some audio books where you go,

I get that they got the punk author to read this, but I wish they had gotten just a British guy. Really? Yeah, where it's a burnout punk guy who wrote an amazing memoir, but he's like, Who publish it? Simon and Schuster with a hat-tipped of Matt Holt and Ben Bella.

Oh, my God. And we got Joe Perra on the back. We got Sam Maril. Oh, this is incredible. Yeah, I gave Sam like an early copy because he gave me a blur. Jeff Perlman, the guy who founded InSink and Backstreet Boys. That's amazing. Yeah, he just saw something in me from a very young age.

He really cultivated that. Like grandmother. Jeff Roman. Jeff Roman's a great writer. Check out Showtime, just so you know. Oh, there's Joel with hair. Oh, my God. Well, my cousin died last year, so I snuck him on the cover.

Oh, that's sweet. Where is the, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, I had to, like, do a little hat tip to my boy and put it on there. So are you still doing the Big Walkowski? Big Walkowski is bigger than ever. Is it? Yeah, it's a fully-fledged nonprofit. Last year, members of the Knicks came.

we raised 10 grand for Oregon donation every year. And it is heavy-hearted. The person who helps me most of it is John Rosenberger, who passed last week. God bless. What happened? Let's not have that conversation here. That's so fucking sad. That dude was the nicest fucking...

And like John was so supportive because it's a big lark to write a book. And I was like, when I started writing, I was like, John, when I have my release party, I'm going to throw you through a table because we love pro wrestling. Yeah. And now every time I see a table, I get so sad. Oh my God. I'm so, that just happened.

That's crazy. And he's so on top of things that, like, he has the permits for this year's basketball tournament. And I got to call the Parks Department. Like, look, the guy who does it died and he's just too on top of things. Yeah. So I don't know.

So you guys, tell everyone what the Big Walkowski is and how you guys built this from like a goof to an actual thing helping the community. So I was, I got sober. I started playing. basketball all the time and I was turning 30 and my buddies were like we're going to throw you a basketball tournament. It's the big Walkowski. We're going to call it that. So a bunch of comics came out.

We had a great day. Next year we did it. Any idea people had, we added to it. Next year we did again. Any idea we started doing uniforms. We started feeding people, start having a party in poker games after. So it turned into this whole day and then eventually was like, we should probably do something positive. And then when Kenny DeForest passed, he was an organ donor. He saved like five lives. So we hit up that organization and like we raise all the money for them. And then don't tell sponsors us. So like it's become like the comedy reunion kind of. Yeah. That's awesome. Kenny probably had the best organs, giant organs. When someone looks exactly like you and they die, you know, that's a wake up call. Oh, man. Crazy. It was it fucked me and Ann up.

Yeah. You know how Jerry West is the NBA logo? Yeah. We have Kenny DeForest as like our logo. There's a famous picture of him as like a college basketball player, like shooting a hook shot. And his parents give us the blessing. So like we just do all these little head tips to all the community, all the people we love. What are you going to do for John?

Well, this year. John Rosenberger Award. I'm trying to name the park after him. Get out of here. Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah. And like even if I just have to make the sign myself, I'm going to name the park after him.

It's amazing. Yeah, because it's American playground and Greenpoint. That's a little boring. Yeah. We can make that more Jewish. So death happened recently. God damn. I forgot that you were super close with Kenny.

Yeah. Well, Kenny was like, I was terrible at basketball and I'd played against him like every weekend. So like, you know, but aging's a privilege and part of getting older, we learn how to say goodbye. Yeah. It's so, it's so crazy. It's so tough. I feel like also death happened a lot recently. I guess that's so physical.

Yeah. Like even now and like I wrote this book about grief and now I'm in grief and not your my just adrenaline is up like I can't sleep. I can't drink water. I'm just so like rearing to go because something happens. Yeah. I don't know if you guys have that experience. I had that for some reason when Oliver Tree died.

Oliver Tree died and it fucked me up so much. There was something about how like creative and energetic he was and then it just fizzling out to zero and I was like that it made me super manic for some reason. No, I get it, but the manic is like fight or flight. Yeah, yeah. You're in these, like, heightened states, and then you just have to, like, go through your life, and it's just like, I don't know,

John had, like, a little hang on Wednesday. It was just, like, hugging people and saying hi in possession. Like, good to see you. Which is what John's thing was, was hugging and saying high. And he would just go around delivering a lot to people. Yeah. Good eggs. Just sweating a lot.

Yeah, sweating a lot. Like, normally I'd ask for one of the departed's possessions. John, I got a lot of memories. Yeah, what was that David Drake got all of Kenny's clothes and then was just swimming in these giant shirts for days? Max Fine also looked a lot better too. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true.

That's so cool. I can't believe you wrote a fucking book. It's so awesome. No, and it went great. And now I've been ghost writing celebrity memoirs. How did that happen? What? Well, that happened because I got hit by a bus and I needed something.

to do. What? Yeah. And I got hit by a bus a year ago in August. What bus? The city bus. Congrats. That's incredible.

Some guys have all the luck. That's incredible. Oh, my God. I don't know if you know this. There's a policy when the bus hits somebody, they have to stop the bus and everyone gets off. So like, my arm was broken. I bled a lot.

And then 60 people were upset with me. Oh, my God. Let me see the scorn. Oh, I can imagine. Oh, shit. Were you on a bike? Yeah, I was on a bike. He did, the son got in the driver's eyes.

He passed me in the same lane and like, you know, I took all the fall with my left arm. Totally the bus's fault. Totally the bus is fault. Like the driver was crying. I had to like give him a like, oh, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not fine. But like, he was very crestfallen.

Like hitting someone with a bus. Like. You got hit by a bus. Yeah. After the divorce? After the divorce. Divorce. Which was an emotional bus that you got hit by.

And you know what? Now I notice how common the phrase, I feel like I got hit by a bus. Yeah. You're like, no, you don't. Dude, Ryan Hamilton is a special that just came out. And it's about him getting hit by a bus at L-A-X. Yeah, I see him in my other support group. It's after.

Oh, Glenn loves your book. Wait, did you sue the shit on them? Yeah. It's pending. Oh, good. But it's going to take like 10 years. Yeah, of course. Really?

But man, when those 10 years are up, God bless. It's going to be great. You can throw me through a table if you give me points on that. I'm going to need you to smell much worse. Perfect, perfect. You're closer with the facial. So wait, you got hit by a bus and you're laid up. And how did you get involved in writing celebrity memoirs?

My agent is awesome. And he was like, you're with. I'm with Scott Kaufman at Buckwold. And we've become like very dear. friends and I was like, hey, he's like, you're going to want to fill your time. Would you ever ghost write? And then I ghost wrote a book for like one of the world's prominent hairdressers and she had a journey. So it was just like, I get to know these people with great intimacy writing from the perspective of a woman. It was pretty hard. But like, so what does that process

of ghost writing? Basically, I talked to them for about 20 to 30 hours. I come up with an outline and then like I presented to him. And the person I wrote for does not read. So then I had to read her life story to her. So in working with your dad, that kind of prepared you for listening, outlining. To women, because they're as crazy as you're dying, father.

I know how to do this. Okay, chapter one. I don't know where we're at. Start over. But it's kind of like a stand-up hour where it's all like, okay, this is the structure. I know what works. and like I think books are kind of like,

I think of it like cooking where it's just like any good story, oh, that's an ingredient. Where do I go? Where do I put it in? And so then I lay it out like the outlines the recipe and then like the book's the meal baby. So like, I don't know, that's how I presented it to her anyway.

And I think it worked. That's amazing. How do you write an entire book off of, you have to keep calling them and be like. Yeah, like every Sunday morning from like 10 to 12, I would talk to her. And get all of the little nitty gritty parts of it. Yeah, it's like a fun.

to figure out. But then don't you have to kind of do it in a girly voice? A little bit. I mean, like, sometimes I would talk with her sister about, like, doing that. And there was, like,

a sex work element about, like, figuring that hour. When you're writing it, you're like, and then he fucked my tight little, I mean, my vagina. No,

she talked about, um, having men pay for her breast milk in, like, squirting all over them. And, you know,

it was just like, I'm just alone in my apartment I'm like writing about lactating on Johns I'm like Joel Walkowski this is your life amazing that's awesome that's incredible wow I would pay for breast milk I mean just from a workout perspective I think it'd be great it's really I think it does

I think it would change my life if I had breast milk I'm serious my friend had like extra of it and she was like it's supposed to have all these advantages and I drank a little bit it blows my mind when my friends like wives are girlfriends or whatever, I have kids. And then they're like, no, I'm not going to drink the breast milk. That's crazy.

Why wouldn't you? It's like such a bonding thing and also free milk. Yeah. And if you're grossed out, a smoothie's right there. Like, I'd move. Yeah. Breast milk and blueberries has to be delicious. It's also breast milk is sweeter than milk.

It's like cereal milk. It's very good. Sweeter than honey. I had Michaela's in it. Man, I just, like your story's so interesting, but I'm just so fascinated by, like, the finality. of death while writing this book, and it's almost like you're on two timelines.

Yeah, and you're like, we're going to race to the finish. And also I've got a writing deadline. Well, it kind of worked out because, like, the lions are an element in it, where it's just like, it's kind of like the football element tricks, bros into engaging in this piece

about sobriety and vulnerability and family trauma. So he's on his deathbed. The lions get good for the first time ever, and they're about to go to the Super Bowl, and then they choke. They're up 17 points at halftime. He asked me to go. go to a deathbed and like attend the game for them because tickets have been our family since

34. So he's like, I want the first hand recount and they blew it. And that's like the perfect where like there's not a happy ending. Yeah. We lose. There's disappointment. We are these people and we find peace with it. Yeah.

Yeah, totally. So then how soon after that did he die? Like within weeks. That's crazy. Like I got back. He was kind of doing well. That game happened and it was decline. and like I'd never watch someone die

so I was like in the room when it happened and I was like his mouth was open so I put my finger in and I didn't know how else to tell where it's like I think he's dead. He's dead. He's like yeah he is dead. Most people check a pulse. I'm not a nurse Ian.

His mouth is open. I put my dick in and I figured how else were I going to find out. It was full circle for him. Sorry pups. The lights are flashing. He's like, stop it, stop it. That's so crazy. So you told a lot of his stuff,

and did you tell an equal amount of your shit? Yeah, equal amount of my stuff, like getting into addiction, how it was just better than anything, how I had no worth, and unless I felt like I was doing something good creatively. Did you talk about the divorce and stuff in it all? I mean, since it ended,

and like, I didn't bring her in it at all, which I think was the best way. There was like a footnote where it was like, oh, this is a wedding story. It's like, I married the wrong woman here.

And that's it. It was just like, take the high road. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You know, it's shitty,

but like, I don't need to spend my energy dragging her and name through anything. Yeah, so. Totally. It's fine. Yeah.

I think that's how you really get them, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, you knew my ex. You're not even in my book. Yeah, exactly.

She wanted to be the star. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Dude, I got to say like, man, the Constitution you must have and the strength to like give everything up to go back home and take care of your father alone is something that like, I mean, it's just so admirable and incredible. And to then take that story and share it with people, it's, I, that's, you know, I, I know that that's going to be my path with my mom and it scares the fuck out of me. Yeah, it's so scary.

Each time I go back home, there's like little signs that this is going to happen sooner rather than later. And I can't imagine having to drop everything and do that, especially staying sober and the downtime and dealing with all of that. I mean, I just. Well, and our generation is so like, it's not like the boomers. Like when our parents' parents died, it was like very taken care of. They had enough money to put themselves into a hospice or to a home. and then they died, you know, in a medical facility, and then there was plans made,

whereas our generation is like we're all dealing with... Well, my mom's flat out, like, the second I start to go kill me. Right. I want to die. Not, do not resuscitate. I want you to kill me. Yeah. And I'm like, it's really intense and we don't know.

There's not, I'm reading a book right now about a woman whose mother died. And it's like... Honolulu Blues. It's more Honolulu Magenta. We're in a totally different fucking world with it. I mean, we have, like, parents who haven't saved any money. They don't, we have to do it. We have to watch it.

We have to see, you know what I mean? Like, and we're responsible for it. And I think, like, I imagine all of our, like, family backgrounds are, like, socioeconomic kind of similar. Yeah. And I think we all have, like, one challenge that looms over all of our life that we know we're going to have to face someday. And, like, at least what you're expressing there.

We're like, someday you're going to have to cross that Rubicon. Like, I knew going into his house what it would be like. how he would be and you know I felt like I'd been becoming a better person just to get through that yeah yeah yeah yeah totally preparing yourself dude next week I have to go to my mom's house my dad's truck is still in front of my mom's house it's been there since he died in 93 it was my work truck for a while and then I stopped working construction and then it just sat at the house and I went home last weekend it's a 92 Ford uh super cab f150 it's got like 50,000 miles on it. So my mom hit me last week just like crying like you have to get rid of the truck.

It's so sad to see. Blum, blah, blah. I've been like holding on in this like, no, we can't get rid of the truck. And it's like, dude, it's just sitting there. It's got this weird thing. So next week, I'm going home. I have to get, I have to clean it out. I have to get a tow truck. I'm towing it to my buddy's house. And then me and two friends are going to work on it to get it running again. And then I have to decide like what to do with it. But even that, like, having to go back home and deal with this truck that represents this other thing, I'm like dreading it.

I can't imagine the human aspect of dealing with that. I just, I'm so in awe and just like kind of down the line thinking of the similarities of what I'm going to have to do, but the fact that you've done it and gotten to the other side is like incredibly... How did you know he was going to die soon? I mean, the heart was terrible. And just to go back to the possessions aspect, So like he was in the mental hospital.

I was alone in the house and there was a fish tank. And I didn't want the fish to die. So I gave, I put an ad on Craigslist. Hey, someone take the fish tank. Oh, yeah. So people came there and they're like, hey, can I have this? And I was like, yeah, of course. Like I have to deal with all this stuff.

So I did a free estate sale where everyone could take what they wanted. And then anything that didn't get taken. And I discussed the family trauma. I had a burn bucket. either was taken or I burned it and it was the most healing day I ever had in my life. Wow. What did you do with all the knives? The knives? I gave them to a leather worker in Bloomington. Oh, that's awesome.

They promised they'd like send me pictures of their work. Never happened. So thanks guys. But there happened to spring up of a lot of murders. Someone's going to deliver a knife to the green room of the act. It's not the same. They should put a knife over the doorway in that green room. with your dad's name. It's close because that guy was a... Isn't there a new owner now? Jared's out.

So the addicts open and like, how do you know someone's going to die? Because he kept getting resuscitated every fucking day. That's true. Yeah, that makes sense. Like he died six times. It's like, yeah, there will probably be a seventh. Was he smoking till the end? He quit with like a week to go and it's like, all right, great job.

Maybe that's what killed him. He should have kept smoking. Absolutely. Was he scared to die? Horrified. Really? Yeah. And like, and there's like a list of questions to ask dead people, dying people to like put them up because like, what are you proud of stuff?

But he's also a little spectrum. He's like, do you have any regrets? He's like, no. And I'm looking at the state of things. It's like, are you sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're swimming in bird seed. Are you positive?

Was there about that? Was there a moment where some of the spectrumy like defense protective mechanisms dropped and you guys had like a very heartfelt. conversation or anything. Was there any sort of kind of closure wrapping the bow on things before he went? Well, it wasn't through any conversation because one time I pinned him down to heaven and all he got mad.

All he would say in response was, I love Mountain Dew, which was terrible. When you were asking about what? He was like, hey, what do you love? He's like, I love Mountain Dew. What do you love about me? I love Mountain Dew. This guy rules.

But then the book, the book cracked him because he had me reading. like from the time I was a young age, you'd just give me book after book after book. So that was his language. That's how I communicated back with him. So this was me coming to peace with my demons. And it's kind of like I think I inherited some of his otherness, some of the shame. And that led to my addiction.

So like trying to come at peace with a lot of the things that shaped me in a positive and negative way. So this did it. And maybe he'll do it for some other people. I love Mountain Dew. That's what you should name the book. Sued immediately. Oh, my God. Why Honolulu Blues?

Honolulu Blues is the Detroit Lions team color. And it's like written in team bylaws where any color the team wears is Honolulu Blue. So it's like kind of a Detroit secret handshake. And like I read a little bit about like Barry Sanders and like going to games with them. So like football is just a lens to kind of. I bring people in for like an examination of the generations. I like the bro thing where each chapter is like lions up to zero and then it's like,

and I was raped. That's absolutely. Where I named every chapter like game one. Yeah, yeah. Get them in there. The framework of a football season. I also like Honolulu Blues where it's like Honolulu, the idea of like happiness. Ooh, laid back, blues.

I'm sad. Yeah, it's great. Well, it's all, it's kind of like a love letter to disappointment. We're like, my dad's a fucking man. He fucked me up, but I think the world of this man. Yeah. And it's just those rationalizations. Did you live?

I know, I'm having those so much lately with my dad. Did you live with him or your mom, Graham? I lived with, well, they split when I was like 10, and then he moved into like a home for like survivors of CSA. So like going to the childhood sexual abuse. Oh, right. So like he started to be open about that. trying to work through it, but like, kind of put it.

And then, like, he decided he was a jazz musician. And since his family's not great, he picked a, like, he assembled a replacement family of other jazz musicians. So that's who we, like, spent holidays. Like, I have a, I had a new, one day he's like, Joel, come out. You have to meet your new grandma. So it's this, like, homeless lady who thinks she's Billy Holiday. So, like, that was like a woman in my life.

is a woman who was like, I'm Billy Holiday. Yeah, and it's like, I'm Billy Holiday and your grandmother. Wow, I'm both those things, which I am not. Did he have a job? No. No, he didn't work. He got like, he was unemployable. He got laid off in like the late 90s and maybe worked at AutoZone,

maybe scratched together a little bit, but like pathologic. He wanted to be poor. Like, he got off on being poor. Yeah, that was part of his identity. Yeah, absolutely. Wow. Can you explain how you got banned for Major League Baseball? Yeah. There was a crappy comedian job where we would all be Facebook administrators for MLB.

And I left that job, but they didn't take away the permissions to access the different teams' Facebook pages. So I was doing a creak show, and I did a bit where I wrote like joky statuses as different teams. And I screenshot them for, so for the Yankees, I was like, the Yankees are sad to announce that Derek Jeter will miss the rest of the season with sexual reassignment surgery. Yeah. Yeah. And in the second it was up, it went around the world. They like interrupted the Olympics to be like, no, Derek Jeter's not trans.

Oh my God. Holy fuck. Oh, my God. And like for the for the white socks, I was like, Obama's a fan of us, but we're not a big fan of his. Hashtag Muslim, you know. Oh my God. And like it became this huge ordeal. And I was sued by Major League Base.

ball, but Rebecca Trent, she had a lawyer on retainer for anyone who performed at the creek. So she stepped up and she got me out of that jam. Oh, my God. That's so cool. I didn't know she had that. Yeah, it's so rad. But if I go to buy tickets like Yankees.com, I'm blocked. I can't do it.

I am banned from Major League Baseball. So can you buy, can you go with a friend to a game or do they have your picture in every stadium? Big trench coat. Yeah. Really, really big trench coat. Please. Two Jol's in a trench coat. World's tallest man.

What two tickets and a big can of Coke. Please. Extra sugar. Dude, that's so crazy that you're banned. That's wild. Okay. So then how is it selling? How is it doing?

I mean, it drops July 14th. I will say that pre-orders are pretty good. If anyone's interested, I mean, check it out. It's, I'm Joel O'Cowski everywhere. It's Honolulu Blues. It's the first result. If you're interested in this story, if you buy it, if you don't like it, Venmo request me.

Like, I have a lot of confidence in it as a book. I think it's tight. I think it's entertaining. I think it's touching and funny. Where can people buy it? Everywhere. Barnes & Noble, Amazon. Really?

Target.com. And so I think it's going to do. Simon and Shoes. Yeah. That's incredible. I mean, we get those signs from our, from our old, from our dead dads and you know he's all mine's doing is send me a fucking rabbit dad hook it up out there yeah get in his book deal yeah really come on no but in like it's i know books

in our an investment of time and money but if anyone's interested at all i'd it would mean the world to me honolulu blues i have a problem with reading i can't do it anymore listen to that other guy read my audio book no attention You made a guy? Yeah, I did. Who was he? I picked a guy named Luke Davis. I listened to three different people auditioning, and I thought Luke's was the best.

Really? Yeah. That's crazy. I'm going to read this. Let's go. That's your copy. Please hold on. I promise you.

This is really fucking cool. There's no pictures. There's no pictures. I don't like that. I had so much fun writing it. There's like jokey footnotes throughout. So like the story structure is what it is. But I'm having a blast in those footnotes.

I'm popping off. Yeah. You're going to hold David Foster Wallace. Absolutely. I'm, I think if I wrote a book, half of it would be footnotes, like little notes. Like, bobo, bo, bo, bo, bo. Yeah, anyone with ADD loves a footnote. Yeah.

The side quest of the literary world. Why do you decide to go no pictures? I don't know. It's just, it is what it is. I like with books like this where you can see, like, I want to know what his dad looks like. I want to know what he looks like. Well, he's on the cover, right? There's a picture of me and him together.

Like, there's me and him, like, in the tattered corner. Oh, and there's him pointing. Well, my cousin died last year, so I snuck him on the cover. Is a cousin pointing? That's his dad. That's a dad, but who's pointing? It's cousin. Yeah, that's my cousin. And you have Kareem Rama on the cover.

I was literally just thinking that. That's Kareem. I actually thought it was Andre. Andre. Eric Andre. 3,000? Oh. Yeah, you know, my close family member, Eric Andre.

So we have the same dad. So how do you? Footnote on page 152. Footnote number six. Enter field goals. We tickle a man named the Weld dog. What can I say? Rituals are important.

Honolulu Blues. Go out and get it. Look it up anywhere you get books. Joel Walkowski, the big Walcowski. And you're the real deal, real article, real deal. Holyfield. This is fucking awesome. Thank you so much for having me on.

It was awesome to spend an hour with you. And like this felt like a very cathartic conversation. for me like oh my god i'm just so proud of you it's so awesome are you still working for yeah i got a good job yeah you got a good job wait what are you working for it i work for a very big company and they're very supportive of me saying like doing what i i do like i work for general motors and because that's because i'm trying to be like an upstanding guy he is a detroit when i when i got sober i got my MBA and i was like i'm a michigan kid i'm going to go work for jm and everyone there is awesome i work from home i go to Detroit, stay at my mom's, I go into the office.

So like, you know. But you live in New York. Yeah. And you work for GM. Yeah. And what do you do for GM? I work for, I do work for Cadillac. And like, you know, I've got a little role with like pointing out opportunity.

And like, I'm an analyst. So the most white collar upstanding job. And like, I pursue writing with every, every bit of bandwidth beyond that. That's incredible. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's crazy. It is crazy.

from whence you came. Yeah, so like, 10 years ago you were covered in fake shit and blood. Yeah. And those were the good old days. That's what I longed for. Like everything's great, it's like,

man, to be a, to be a 23-year-old alcoholic for a weekend, wouldn't that be great? To be whipping fish. Let's go. That's awesome. Oh, yeah,

add it to the thing. Wow, it's perfectly blue to match on Perks. On Perks is a great book, too. I read that. Wow. That's so cool. I know every comedian is just like me on drugs.

He likes the downers. I like the uppers. You know, we'll hang out together on the shelf. I like both at the same time. That's my thing. The equilibrium. Yeah, yeah.

I would mix acid and speed. Oh my God, Joel. That is insane. Yeah, it wasn't great. That is insane. I learned so much about permaculture soil. Yeah, you really got it. That's going to be the name of my book.

Permaculture soil. That's crazy. You would do acid am? Yeah, what the fuck would that do to you? Unbelievable. I mean, I thought I was Ken Kesey for 10 years of my life where I was just going to, I was inventing wheat edibles made out of Japanese algae and like just trying to be the king of drugs. What was the thing you got into when I saw you last mangoes?

Hey, the mangoes are a sustained. Okay, my mom says to be dried mango from awesomefruit.com at Yahoo.com. Boxes and boxes. Yeah, I got a lot of dried mango. That's a healthy habit. He would have pounds. And he'd be like, you want a whole bag? And I'd be like, sure.

I've been eating dried mango, but I've been getting it in the little container from the bodega. I need to get it from the actual, like, not doused in sugar. Yeah, and just because you're sober, doesn't mean you're not an addict. I would go over to their house and his wife would be like, hey, I'm going to be the second to eat in this Broadway. And he'd be like, I have bango. bag. Hey, mango bag. Two equal achievements, I would say.

It was off Broadway. Hell yeah. Honolulu Blues, Joel Wikowski, check it out. Punchup. Dot live slash Jordan Jensen for all her dates. Ianfinance.com for all mine. Patreon.com slash B&EAM pod. And Ian doing on guy doing on jobs.

every other week on YouTube. And check out your special still on Netflix, right? Yep. Yep. Take me home. With you. And take us home.

Take this book home when you go out and buy it. We'll see you next time. We love you guys. Bye-bye.