Bein' Ian With Jordan - Into The Poor-O-Verse W/ Myka Fox & Tim McLaughlin | Bein' Ian with Jordan #215

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Pod fave comics Tim McLaughlin & Myka Fox return to talk about how insanely poor and dumb Tim is, adventures at some of Indiana's most prestigious adult entertainment centers, & their new MST3K-style pod! SUB TO OUR PUNCHUP FOR EXCLUSIVES! All of our dates AND bonus episodes are now available in one convenient place, all for the same price as the Patreon! Visit punchup.live/beinianwithjordan Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast - Buy 2 months of BlueChew Gold & get your 3rd month FREE when you use promo code SKA @ http://BlueChew.com/ - Find & instantly book doctors appointments with ZocDoc @ http://ZocDoc.com/IAN Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Follow Myka! https://instagram.com/mykafox Follow Tim! https://instagram.com/hot_comic69 Check out their pod! https://youtube.com/⁨@GreatHangPodcast Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's that, Glenn? You want to know where I'm performing live? Eiffidance.com for all tickets and dates. Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State, September 3rd to 5th. Saratoga Comedy Festival, September 11th to 12th, Charlotte, North Carolina, the 17th, Dallas, Fort Worth, Texas. Let's sell it out October 1st to 3rd. Philly Helium, November 5th to 7th. I'm going all over.

Eamfinance.com for tickets, patreon.com slash B&EM pod for bonus episodes. A lot of fun on there. And also, Ian doing odd guy doing odd jobs, my TV show on YouTube, produced by YMH, punchup.com. Live slash Jordan Jensen for all her dates. And when it's being Ian with friends, being Ian and friends, we want you to check the friends out.

So make sure whoever's on the pod, you follow them, check out their dates. Thanks for supporting the show. We love you. Telling jokes and having smokes, riding back so through the night, it's a wild ride. So, Ian

Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Being Ian And life is shit But you're positive Let's find out what it's like to live

Al life Being Ian So Ian thinks his house is on fire And we're in the basement possibly This might be the very last thing Anybody hears. Does this streaming out into the world Or will the evidence get burnt up too? We've gone family pet mode

And hidden down in the basement While there's a fire in Ian's house. We're going to burn up like your beloved cats and dogs. I've been training Tim Every time I set the alarm off, I always shake his treats, so that way he learns. Yeah, I run to the door. Yeah.

Me and the cat run to the door together and we get in our crates. I give her little greenies and I give Tim some hot dogs. I love hot dogs. Micah said I can't eat hot dogs anymore, did I tell you that? Why? Because she says they're bad for me and I was eating three a day every day for months. Three candies and three hot dogs a day? Oh, I eat secret candy.

He gets walking candy. Yeah. So, like, he'll go, go, he'll go. want to walk for his health and the walk will be to the bodega and eat his, until he eats his candy and then he comes back with the trash in his pocket. You can't even throw it out? You got to rid of the evidence, dude.

Oh, he's the dumbest. I don't want, well, the trash cans on our street. We live in a bad place and our trash cans on our street are so full. I don't want the candy rubber blowing off his litter. Yeah, Tim's worried about litter. No, I just know Michael see it sitting on top of the trash. He'll go, Tim, we had another piece of the can. she'll say

Instead he leaves it in his office Like a jug full of piss You have an office? I have an office I have an office And it's a recording studio And it's a place where Just a bunch of shit is on the ground

It sucks How do you feel about this, Micah? I feel like I subsidize fucking every All of this I pay half the rent now He did it for three months Maybe And then lost his job

So we'll see. Sick. I lost his job that I got him, by the way. I shouldn't have gotten fired. I was putting in more work than most of the people, but it was just bad work, I guess. I don't know what they want. I don't know what,

I don't know what big AI wants anymore. If you're not going to, it's like, you're a rebate AI company. It should be doing the work for me. I'm out of your slaving away. Tim's the only person who lost his job to AI at an AI agency. There was,

was there a fire? What was, Was it? Neighbor on the third floor is cooking bacon. And dude, she opened the door and smoke him. I was like, are you okay? Is everything fine? She's like, I'm cooking.

You just knocked on all of your neighbor's doors? Well, I was a volunteer firefighter in high school. So I did some putting the back of my hand against the door to feel heat. Wow. And then I went upstairs and did the same. And then I knocked. Nobody came. And then I fucking.

pounded and then she opened the door. I thought we were going to die down here. Shut. I really did. You thought that before you smelled smoke. Yeah, I saw the cameras and all the toys. I was like, oh, I've seen this before. Hey, ever have a fan up your butt?

Yeah, so she was cooking bacon, smoke bloomed out. I was like, are you okay? Is everything fine? She's like, I was cooking. I was like, there's no fire. And she's like, no, it just got smoking. I was like, all right, thank God. By the way, I live downstairs.

She's like, yeah, I know. I see you. I was like, God bless. She was like, yeah, I know. She's like, you're on fire most of the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had to call the fire department because our neighbors were asleep and they left their gas on their stove. That's what I was worried about.

And so like. Yeah. But it's not like fire. Yeah. Yeah. It did smell like fire in here. And I'm here. And so Micah goes, it smells like gasoline in the hallway.

I go, that's weird. Upstairs? No, like. At our house. Are we recording? Yeah. How long have we been recording the episode without me? Oh, really?

It hasn't been better without me. Should I leave? We're almost done. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Beadee in with friends. Jordan's not here. And that's okay. I got my two pals hanging out.

I'm excited. Micah Fox, Tim McLaughlin. What up? And thank you so much for having us in this safe house. So excited. Shut out ammonia. A-M-M-O-N-I. A punk band from Grand Rapids

Just had the best time in Grand Rapids Michigan Check them out. They don't have enough listeners on Spotify. Oh, and get the new Haywire Interstate love affair. So fucking good. Holy shit. They need to stop writing songs that remind me

and my ex-girlfriend. Anyway, you're up. The comedy club emailed me about working with you in Grand Rapids. Dr. Grin? Dr. Grin? Why didn't you do it?

Well, so they said that you were bringing somebody else. But also Michael was like, you should have messaged Ian and I go, listen. I assumed he'd message it immediately. Like, hey, buddy, you know what funny? I'd have been like, dude. Hey, friend. They asked me to, isn't that funny?

This is crazy. I put no work into it. He doesn't do anything ever. And he said, I don't have to fucking work anymore. Let's go. Let's go. You've been one, dude. Take it out on them.

Get him, Micah, get him. Oh my, fuck. Get that thing the fuck away from me. Sorry, sorry. I can't believe I was justified in being terrified to be. I'll undo it with the sound of music. Jesus Christ. Jordan's not here.

I can play. Oh my God. No wonder she left. Well, she's on tour. She's coming back. Yeah, she probably, she would have no career if you didn't annoy the fuck out of her. She's like, I need to get out of here for weeks to time. From your lips to God's ears.

That's not what I meant, but I like it. I will say, it is so funny to imagine her being like, yeah. yeah I'm going on tour I'll be back wait for me yeah it's like okay she just never comes back yeah she leaves a bunch of like food stuck in a sticky mat a couple cigarettes yeah people are like Jordan went on tour for a pack of cigarettes

he's like I have cigarettes at home yeah why she leaves me she moves away she's her name please I'm waiting can you get Glenn do you mind what's Glenn oh the cat oh why didn't you hit me up it was to break even like the the plane ticket cost as much as they were going to pay me.

Because how... So I was just like, well, if I get it, I get it. If not, I don't want, like... Well, Claire Sunby opened. Shout out, Claire. She's great. Yeah. Little shrimp snack, I think, is on Instagram. She smoked her. I made her smoke her first cigarette.

Whoa. How old is she? 16. Shut up. She's like a phenom. Really? Yeah, that's her old thing. She's like an underage comic.

Oh, I mean, I'm sure she's great, but I hate that. That's not true at all. She's like in her 20s or... Yeah, she's a Chicago comic. She's like Chicago. I was like, I hate children in comedy clubs. Me too.

Like, on stage or off. Like, just, I mean... And I was a kid who loved stand-up, but it's like, lay low. Do not be a visual child. And also, when you see children stand-ups, you know their parents are writing the material because they're like, this guy in office is bad. And the dads are like, yes. yes, you're a vessel for my political thoughts.

Or the joke is like, the joke is like, my mom's such a cunt, she's so mean to my dad, and the dad's like, are we? My mom needs to learn how to let things go. Speaking of Grand Rapids at their, dude,

I wish you would have said, so what's your excuse for not furthering your career? It was just to break even, because I was like, I don't want to pay five or $600 or whatever, to make $600 and then, you know, whatever. I don't, don't even get me started. He gets mad at me when I weigh in on his every failure.

Way in on it, Micah. I already have. I was like, why do you? But not for me. I haven't heard it. What? I mean, the man is constantly not advocating for himself. And he also undersells himself.

He criminally underpriced himself forever. If you want him to, you want him to fucking rebuild your entire life, 25 bucks, dude. He'll give up his life for you for $25. I need the money. You're like a poor little rape victim. You will not advocate for yourself. You take abuse.

You are worthy. Your story deserves to be shared. And you have value. Every story I've told no one's believed me. Well, getting to be shared stories is not the problem. Let's start there. Maybe we should start paying it to him. to stop sharing his stories.

Dude, break even on a gig. Why the fuck not? I'll take care of you on the weekend. Yeah, but I didn't want you to feel like you had to do that. I don't feel like I have to. It's a gift. Someone did it to me. I'll do it to you.

All right. Well, next time it happens, I'll fucking hit you up. Yeah. But, well. See in 10 years, Ian. I'll say this. I usually bring Patrick Holbert. Do you know him?

He's super funny. He's great. Sober guy. So it really helps out. Yeah. He films everything. Oh, great. And like,

at it's my, isn't he the best? I am in love with him. And usually on gigs that I don't bring him, I just go local. Yeah. But if I had known they'd offer you the gig, I would have been like,

dude, fly out, I'll take care of you, like whatever. Yeah. Well, if he, if he can't do it, I can film you

and fucking record from the board. So I don't know if I trust that. Oh, do you? What do you mean? Tim, Tim, he had to learn everything

because he doesn't have a job. So now he can do everything. Do you have good cameras? and stuff? I have a camera. What kind of camera? Lumix GX7 or something. James, is that good?

It's all right. I mean, it'll record you good enough for the... What about stage cams, crowd camps? Don't have any of that. Now, I have a recorder that will record from the board, and I have the cord to connect it. Now, that is something a lot of people don't have, is the cord to connect it.

I feel like this connecting cord is really losing some wires. Tim's a cord man. I got more cords and equipment. I'll tell you that. What about would you be able to shoot a travel show on the road? Oh, heavens, no. Okay, well, I can't really use you. Are you doing a travel show?

You have a travel show. I'm just an odd guy doing odd jobs. I'll race you. I'm Ian Fyance. Hey, how are you? And each week, I'm in different towns across the country doing stand-up comedy and to keep me from rotting in my bed or putting a gun to my head.

I get you to teach me how to do your job. Ian do, an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com slash Ian Fridayance comedy every other Tuesday produced by YMH. I got a rip a fart too, bro. Let it loose, toot, toot. I'll see you out there. How long you've been working here? It's called Ian doing odd guy doing odd jobs.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah, I go to different towns when I'm on the road and people teach me how to do their jobs. So does David tell mine that you just totally took his idea? And his personality and his disheveled lifestyle. No, I actually got his blessing. And he hooked me up with like some production coordinators just to kind of get an idea of what it is. What a good man. He's the best.

He's the best. It's like dirty jobs meets daytime insomnia. Yeah. And I mean fully. And I like to think of it as dirty jobs meets daytime insomnia. I mean simple life a little. Oh. Oh, because you're like so rich and posh.

Oh, no, because I'm like dumb. And I'm like, what are you made? How you do that? Actually, because in every episode, I stick my hand up a cow's ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there aren't even cows on site. I just go find them. Do you drug this cat?

No. Is this like a six field, Roy Tiger or something? He's the best. Why is he so chill? He's a chill. Dude, he loves, he's like a slut for the camera. He loves coming down here, hanging out on the pod. We put the mic up.

up to him he'll like meow really anthony davido was at my house today i was holding our cat and she puffed up real big really because she saw davido and she goes she doesn't like italians no any other animals she freaks her out ain't it just a hairy man well it's it's summertime too so he's even swarther swar thier than he should be so she didn't like his skin color really as he was coming in yeah he's getting people of color Italian. I fancy myself a bit of your cat. Yeah, but actually, if you're watching at home, look at my tour schedule. If you're in these towns, Ian Fidant 666 at Gmail to hit me up about doing jobs in

your towns. And if you're in New York City metropolitan area, we'll come out to you. But yeah, I just shot a thing with AW wrestling. Just came out. I learned how to build the ring. And then the next day they put me in an outfit and I got like body slam. I got chokeslammed by a six-foot-tall woman. Oh, man.

How much you have to pay for that? Oh, well, I paid for the cleanup because it is. Come on now. I'm a bit of a cum man. You're a cord man. Come on. What kind of man are you? Ian's wrestling outfit is a full-on diaper.

Yeah. He's just like, they come the juice catcher. Ian's got cum coming out of his ass and dick. That's my finishing move called the rattle. The sprinkler. The sprinkler and the tinkler. Ladies and gentlemen coming to the ring. It's the oozer.

Ladies and gentlemen coming. Yo, buddy, you're on the podcast. Say what's up. Yo, what up? Motherfuckers. My friend buddy is clinically insane. Oh, congratulations. He renamed my cat Glenn Gregg.

Hey, do you have anything to say out to people out there in TV land, buddy? Weird, dude. All right, Q is on the line. They're not drinking the line. They're not drinking the ball on the line. That's it. They're not drinking the. blood. They're taking the adrenachrome.

All right. See you, man. Bye. Can we talk about what Glenn is doing right now? Yeah, talking about the pedophilic elites really puts him at ease. Oh, my God. He's like, he's like, ah, yes, when life was simpler.

Yes. Glenn's also upset. He's like, they don't drink the blood. They take the blood after they've scared the children where the adrenachrome is up and they separate the adrenachrome from the blood. It's obvious stuff. It's like a real life Monsters Inc. Factory going on.

Yeah. Is it? Have you heard the Monsters Inc. Have you heard the Monsters Inc theory that the one monster that came back scared was because it was Sid from Toy Story? They went into Sid's room and the monster came back scared. That's really cool. That's one of the, that's like a theory, a Monsters Inc. Is it?

Is it, Ian? Why isn't that cool? Would it be cool or if he had a full-time job? I don't know. Dude, I just, I'll put up with his theories once he gets a W-2. That is exactly how I feel. I'm so mad. We were out with a, we were out to dinner with Irene the other day.

And, uh, shout out Irene. We love you. Irene Morales. And, uh, she was telling the story. Shout out none. Love you. I owe your phone call. Go ahead.

What was it? It was, like, she was, like, she was at another comedy show where she was talking about like, she was like, does anyone ever dated a poor guy? And Tim's ex-fucking girlfriend in the audience was like, yeah, me. And I'm like, how fucking long have you been poor, motherfucker? No, no, no, no. I was telling you that my ex-girlfriend texts me. She goes, I went to, you know, she goes, do you know, she goes, do you know,

Dina Hashem. Dina Hashem. I said, yes, I know Dina. She goes, I was at her show and she asked if anyone's dated anyone poor. And I almost yelled, do you know Tim McLaughlin? I go, she would have known. This is generational poverty. But your parents aren't poor.

No, no, no, no. I mean generational like multi-girlfriend. Yeah. Like, it spans the era poor. Yes. Like, how are you going to be poor with a previous, like, I know. But you're poor now. We're into the poor overse.

He's poor now. he was when I met him, which is fucked up. I legit thought that was impossible. No, no, no. You had a job when I met you. You don't have a job now? No. But I'm not poor.

I'm actually... Well, you're rich in love. Oh, God damn. I'm a freaking billionaire in love. Spin it. Yes, he's a good guy. I'm like freaking the Larry. Oh, yeah.

I'm the goddamn Larry Ellison of love. You think I'm dating a poor guy who also sucks? That's a testament to your character. Do you know, great you are that you can be so poor and piss her off so much that she still loves you because she grew up with a bad childhood. Yeah, it's good.

I've heard stories about your pups. My dad's the good one. Micah doesn't talk to her mom, but I send her letters every month saying thank you very much. I don't wait to meet you when you show yourself one day.

I just want to thank you for giving me a place. No one's going to give my mom a better eulogy than Tim McLaughlin. Oh, my God. Where do I start? Everyone's going to be standing around and being like, uh, and Tim's going to be like, I got, I got a list. You just start saying thank you in every language.

I'd also like to thank the police that held her in, um, uh, mini, many, many tanks. Wow. Got my nose itched. So, so you. I don't want to get too far into. But, you know, what do you? What is it that you do? What I do?

Damn, Jiminy Glick. You glicked him. I clicked him. You got clicked. Suck by Glick. Well, you know, I do a lot of stuff. I do a lot of stuff for very little money. Like what?

Well, I produced the OnlyFians podcast, of course. Great. Why don't you tell the people out there in TV land where to contact you if they have jobs that you can do in the area? and message me at Hot underscore Comic 69 on Instagram. A very professional Instagram. You could also just send me money on Venmo. It's Hot Comic 69.

Oh, my God. He is a non-binary barista. That's right. That's your job. That's right. I'm looking for housing. I'm disabled. I need money.

I'm trying to move. Honestly, if you tip less than 22% it's violence. Yeah. If you are in, actually I'll tell you this. this is how you can help me out. If you are in the Indianapolis area or in the Midwest and want to come to Indianapolis, September 29th, I'm throwing myself a 40th birthday party

at the White Rabbit Cabaret. It's going to be a multimedia spectacular celebrity shoutouts. Amazing. Your presence is your present because it costs money to go. Yes. If you buy a ticket, all the money goes to me. So you produce Karen's podcast. Amazing.

You just saw your employees. She just left here. I know. She said, she said, hello employee. Yes, hello. Don't make eye contact. Look at the ground. And then I've gotten a couple commercials that have paid a little bit of money recently.

Acting. He's an actor. I'm an actor. No, I, it's true. That's great. Through the stand-up New York people. Oh, okay. So there's a lot of Zionist stuff?

Oh, yeah. Oh, they've just cut ties. Don't worry. Oh, yeah. What, with you guys? Yeah, they found out that they stopped killing as many Palestinians. They're like, we can't be a part of this. So, yeah, I've been doing a lot of stuff for BB NetNahyahu personally.

And then, you know. Chill. I edit clips for the Good Noticings Podcast. Cool. What's that? Ashley and Claire, Ashley Hamilton and Claire. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they were a celebrity memoir.

Book Club. And now they're good noticing. That's right. Oh, that's great. Yeah. So they've got a live show that's really funny. So I've been cutting those down. Shout out.

Ashley and Claire. Come to the podcast. I should hit them up. And then I was working for AI, but they fired me. So. AI? Yeah. There's an AI company.

I have a, I got a job with an AI company and I hooked them up. Why? Why did you work with AI? For money. Terrible. Are you going to pay my rent, bro? Well, why are you going to feed my broke boy for it?

I don't care. Why don't you find a different job? Why don't you go fucking work for Palantir? Why don't you? I was working it. I was working at Raytheon, but then I lost my job to AI. I worked at Raytheon and boy are these children tired from getting blown up for my work. That's right.

I will say this about working for AI. What were you doing for AI? I'm still doing it. And by doing it, I mean like I work like maybe one hour a week and just see how long. I don't really consider it working for AI. I consider it redistributing a billionaire's wealth because I just cash the, I cash the checks and don't do shit for them. This is why I got Mike is she's my spin team. You are a good publicist.

But what I've learned from AI is they keep like bragging and they're like, oh yeah, it's going to outpace us. It's going to be like so cool, blah, blah, blah. It's pretty dumb, right? It's so stupid. It's been very life affirming working with an AI agent because I'm like, it's retarded. Yeah, but it's retarded now. That's the thing. But it's like we're seeing it.

six months and it has, it's like, definitely not getting better. Oh, it hasn't taken over in six months? Not even taken over, like, not even gotten better. Do you remember, do you remember initially when AI came out and it was like, oh, you can tell by the fingers. Oh, you can tell on the pictures of the fingers. Now it's not fucked up at all.

It's, it is, yeah, it's dumb and stupid now, but it is going to explode and be insane. Insane. Well, here's. I totally, I, shame. I think that is. Shame. What? No, no. Shame.

Okay, rebuttal. Shamed. Rebuttal? Yes. Okay. This is in Iran. A woman could talk. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Oh, she was. Shaming me for working for AI is similar to shaming the immigrants who work at a meat packing plant. It's like, I'm not the one enslaving the cows and creating like a global pollution problem. I'm just trying to feed my family. The meat hanging meat packing plant are a fun hang.

What is your? Oh, see, that's what you had to resort to because I made a good point. And then you had to insult me. No, no. I went from. the joke and it wasn't even a good joke. Yeah. Let me, let me, you're making a real point.

Like, I am, all, the industry is taking over. I can either put my head in the sand and be fucking poor and lose my apartment and be like the poverty class like they want us to be. Right. Or I can just steal whatever coins are falling from a little AI tree. Jew, while I continue, yes, Jew, while I continue to bury it in the ground in my tunnel. Right? And then I have my underground tunnel full of gold.

Now, I'm obviously like a fucking pussy for being like, quit your job. What do you do? Like you got to get fed. You got to make money. But that's what happens is they have such a fucking stranglehold on us that it's like, yeah, I have no choice but to work for this evil entity. I have to live. And it's like, yeah.

And they are scrounging resources so that there's no choice but to work for the evil because there are no other fucking options. I do actually think it will collapse, but... What will collapse specifically? I think the AI industry is, it's a bubble that is right about to burst. Do you mind elaborating? Yeah, there's a million AI companies. It's very similar to like what happened with like television networks or like the Netflix thing or all this stuff.

Like there's a lot of people just like gold chasing. Hopping on the one thing that succeeded for one. Right. So they're all trying to be like, I'm going to be the one. I'm going to be the one. They can't all be the one. So some. Some AI is going to succeed, but most of them are going to fail, right?

So we're going to see like a crazy drop in like how it's done and what's being done. I do think that. But also, like, it is the future unless we're going to have like a major revolution about it, which I am on board for. Like me working for them, that's whether or not I work for them, that's not, that's not the change that we need. Well, I think it's all data collection now. Like, it's all just like, like I talked about it with Karen, but the new, Instagram update, you, when you update, it puts your, oh, well, that's the other thing. That's a great point, Ian, is if you're even, you're using social media to promote your shows,

you are employing AI. Well, that, that's the thing. So Instagram with the update. So you're just as bad as I am. Instagram makes it so that your, I can't hear you over your unemployment. I, um, it's not loud. Tim's poverty voice is, is unhearable. I can't hear you over my own appointment.

I can't hear you over your Venmo echoing in the fucking sphere. No, no, no. I, Instagram has a thing where you do the update and it automatically signs your content up for meta-a-a-i training. You can go in and opt out, which I did and I posted about it. And after that, everything I post got suppressed. I was going from like a quarter million, half a million views to down to 13,000. and fucking nothing in the 20,000 views on story

down to 1,100. So it's like, but I didn't opt back in, you know. But even working, when you are posting on Instagram, I'm posting from a fucking iPhone. I'm a fucking imprecurant. I'm a part of it. You're just benefiting from getting paid. In a way, you're like smarter than I am

by like getting fucking money from it. And I'm not helping them, which I think is so crucial to what's happening. Because I don't know what you're, what you do. I'm just saying that this is all leading. to data collection to better have the machine work against us later, like flock cams and fucking everything that's going on and Palantir and like,

like AI training, which obviously Instagram's a part of, but it is all to make the next iteration of it better and more of a total takeover until everything collapses, I feel. Right. But you're in it, so you know better than I do. I mean, I don't really, you know what I mean? I only know about like the full AI industry from like podcasts. and stuff. I don't know it from my job. My job is

the app I'm working on is like incredibly stupid and inconsequential and for social media and for fun. I really don't like it's not part of like this giant meta like data farming. It's not it's not. I've also never used Claude Chachy BT, AI. I've never used them either. It's fascinating but it's also

you almost can't opt out of it. You have like you go into Google. The first thing you get is AI like it's it's pretty like on your phone it's just automatically doing it. It's almost impossible to opt out of AI. Like the change has to with like full on revolution. Which won't happen.

Which, so, I mean, so it's like, do we work within the system or not? It doesn't matter actually. And if you want to work outside the system, like say you want to hang a TV, but you don't know where the stud is. Buy toggle bolts. There's that. Did you think about that? The studs are 16 inch on center if they are ocean.

Or they're to the left or right of your outlet. Yeah. There you go. And these metal studs in the New York apartment buildings are hard because it's hard to find purchase on them. Yep, it's hard to find purchase. But also with the metal studs, use a half inch drill bit and then get yourself some toggle bolts.

But also, like, the metal studs in this house, they suck, right? It's like, but we live in New York, so we like, we have to do, we have to live within the system that we are in. There's a million compromises we make every day to draw the line at AI. Like, I honestly think when people draw the line just there, they sound foolish. Right. I think you guys sound like fucking idiots, right, Micah? I'm going to get a lot of, I'm sure everyone's fucking throwing tomatoes at their screen right now.

Here's, stupid bitch, this is like the thing when people tell, I'm almost kind of ashamed of how I acted towards you of like, get a new job. Like that's so gross. That's the same thing when people are like, police officers, get a new job. Like quit your job. It's like, yeah, easy for you to say when like people depend on you. Yeah. You know, and also the job market is so tough. It's so hard.

You know, it's better. to make change in the system, then from out of the system. I agree. I've been doing this thing lately where I forget what I'm saying while I'm saying it. Absolutely. But you're looking good while you're doing it. Thank you, baby. No, fuck.

Oh. Yes. Okay. Ian go. Make your money. Do what you got to do. Yes. When it comes to artists and creatives, do not use AI.

Do not use AI to make flyers. Do not use AI to make, you know, things where you can employ a creator. Unless you like me to promote your show, you know. No. Terrible. Shame. I'm back to shame.

I'm back to shame. I do think like if you're an artist and you're using AI, you really need to question whether or not you're an artist. Hire other artists. Put money in pockets of other creatives, other artists, other people creating and making. Do not use AI. I have friends that use AI like beats. I'm like, no, man, just learn to do the thing.

And that's easier for me to say too because I'm like, Just take years to learn. Just take years to learn or just hire somebody who's that. That's a high skill level. That's expensive. And if you can't do that and it's cheaper to use AI, we'll go out and make more fucking money. Like, hey, everybody, the temperature is starting to drop

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Zok doc, Zoc, D-O-C-O-C-com slash I-A-N to get started and check the appointment off your to-do list. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash I-A-N. Zok-D-O-C-com slash Ian. Thanks Zok-D-D-D-O-S sponsoring this message. Yeah. Do the work to enjoy the people. Make some fucking money. I'm about the people.

I'm about the person. I'm about power the people. I'm a working class hero. You stupid poor ass. Woman is dead. Work of the world. In a job. I do like people on Facebook that are like,

because you know, you got to post your videos. I open Facebook to post a video, but I always see the same lady. She's like AI artist. But her AI art is always like a vampire with big tits. And I'm like, okay, this is actually good, though. Yeah, but you're taking it. making money away from an autistic grade schooler.

What do you do? Dude, my buddy sent me a fucking reel that was like so clearly to me AI. And he's like, dude, you chick really hot. And then now my fucking feed was all AI slop. You know who also got tricked by that chick? Jeff Sheen. What happened? Got tricked yesterday.

Posted it in our group jet. He goes, oh, another hot female comedian. And everyone was like, this is AI, you boomer. He couldn't tell that. Wait, that shit. That's so funny. Because I saw it in my feet too, but she's so obviously AI. Yeah.

Yeah, Jeff is so horrid. She just appears on the stage and he's like, she's a magician too. Also, can we talk about how her jokes suck? Oh, yeah. It's so bad. That's why I'm not worried about AI for comedy anyway. It's like AI is the least funny thing that's ever, like, it just cannot write a job. I know, but I just see it as all like entertainment.

Just like when everybody who's doing that trend on TikTok of like, say who farted, but angry. Say it's sad. Say it's our kids. That's all training. That's all to pick up intonation, how you say things in different languages, because this is all training. This is all data collection for the next iteration, which I really think, and you can

feel how you want, maybe I'm ignorant, but I really feel it in my bones that the next iteration is going, it's inconceivable that we can even think to know where it is going to go. That's how crazy it will be. So who do you think we should love? like kill. Don't say the president. That's a crime.

But you know what I'm saying? Like you, when you're saying things like this, I'm like, it's unfeasible to get people to opt out at this point. I feel like we have to like dig it up at the root. Let's kill that lady on Facebook that's making these vampires that I beat off. I've been beaten off too damn much. It's just, it's just the Wizard of Oz. It's like, we got to look behind the curtain, man.

I feel that I agree we, the root is fucking, it is, it is insidious and it is disgusting and it is just completely warping the ground from which it grows. So I understand you saying who do we have to kill. I do not believe in killing. I was kidding. I already know who we need to kill. Who? Whisper. The prime minister of Japan.

Oh. I was going to say, she said Santa Claus. Here's the thing. I do not think we should kill. You lose the message in death. The key point is message. So you need to send a message by breaking his fucking kneecaps and tuning them the fuck up. These dudes need to get fucking hooded and put into vans, beating the fuck up so they know if they don't fix their shit, it's coming down the line worse than next time.

And I'm going to come see you in a different way. And guess what? If you see this happen to you, tell your boy. this is happening to him and his family. So fucking act right before you got to fucking talk through a wire on your jaw. Yeah, that's how the French Revolution worked. They fucking beheaded motherfuckers. We're not in the French Revolution, man.

Do you really think that we're going to be able to get along with each other with how politically divided things have gotten because of the fucking Internet and social media? What we need to do is throw that shit out, find where these people live. Do not kill. I do not advocate for death. We need to beat. the fuck out of these people so that through a fucking

wired jaw they can say, we need to make some changes. I don't use anything. Agree or disagree. Can we come on the commonality that there does not need to be death? I mean, I like violence. I do not like death. I do not like guns. Do not kill anyone but fucking tune in someone up.

Can we almost tase us just a minute ago? Yeah, but that's just hurting. Yeah. And guess what? You fucking got the message. Yeah. Yeah. And it's been a good show ever since then. And if I killed you, would have lost a message. Do not kill. I've been tasted. It fucking sucks.

I feel like Glenn's on my side. I like what Ian saying because you can still I like what I'm saying. No, I like what you're saying. Because you'll still go to jail, but not for as long, Luigi. You can still get out and then get your dick suck. See, that fucks me up because some of these ladies

that are online that want to suck you off, brother. The same people who love Luigi were the same people during COVID that were like, not one life lost. No. Do whatever it takes to preserve. life. I also love abortion and kill all CEOs. It's like

well where are you? Because you're all over the place. You just named my political platform. I, you're a moron. I I couldn't hear any of that over me cheering for the nurses. I think it would have been I was out cheering for the nurses. I couldn't hear anything else. I think

it would be so much better if Luigi put a hood over that guy's head, threw him in a van, took him to his Italian uncles, they put him in a room and tuned them up and then that's how you get changed. Killing is only going to divide people. Yeah. I don't think it would have caused any more change than killing him. Didn't.

Yeah, but you know what? I'm an optimist. Yeah. All it's going to do is make everybody look like, oh, these guys are thugs and we need to tighten our security. And guess what? They have billions of dollars and they can. Who's thugs? We'd be the thugs.

Oh, I thought you were talking about teen takeovers. Um, I just, what? What was that? Oh, like at the beach. What? I don't know. We're having three different conversations. No, what do we talk?

No, what's that? Teen takeovers were like hundreds of like teenagers descend upon an area and just start like at the beach. Wild and out. Oh, yeah. Okay. I was thinking of the right thing. I was making a joke. That happened at the Wisconsin State Fair the other day.

Lots of brawls. Oh, speaking of which, I'm in Madison. Madison is a great. Great club. Great town. I mean, well, Milwaukee next weekend. No, I made a joke and I should have listened to your point. What were you saying?

Oh, just that I don't think beating anybody up will actually have because they have billions of dollars. Do you think death will? It's a little more final. I would be a little more scared of that than getting beaten up, I think. But more so, the death now releases their money back into the group. And these guys have so much money. They can hire the biggest blog. Black as security guards.

And good luck getting around them. These guys hired Aaron Donald. Everything about that? Who? Aaron Donald used to play for the Los Angeles Rams. He was one of the best defensive... I don't know anything about football. You could be like, my favorite tight end is Marcus Aurelius.

I'd be like, he's a good guy. And these guys hired Brock Lesnar. And they paid him so much. He did it in blackface, baby. Look at this fucking cat. I know. Is he the best? He's fucking pop.

He's opening off in a big wet hand. Well, I mean, that lizard person that you mentioned, him and fucking Sam Altman and Peter Thiel and all those fucking guys, they need a fucking tune-up. If you kill them, it divides. If you tune up, people understand violence as a means to an end. I think if they were killed, there would be cheering in the streets. It would be like the day Joe Biden won.

But then what? Here's a thing. Then what? Play the tapes route. Then what? Okay. So then these billions of dollars, which is not a small amount of money, gets released back into the government. And now the government is a...

How? Because they're dead. Magically? Yes. You know. You know. You really think magically, gun to the head, the guy in charge of AI and destroying society in the world. You kill him and then magically money is going to be redistributed.

That's not how it works. Yeah. Every time somebody dies, she gets taxed to fuck. Did anything change with Universal Health, with United Health Care? He wasn't just one of the CEOs, and that was the company, not the person. We need individual wealth holders. Yeah, but you, explain to me, A, to C, this. Getting rid of Peter Thiel, how then does that redistribute wealth?

Oh, this, we can't get rid of Peter Thiel. He's the only thing keeping the Antichrist from coming back to Earth. If we get rid of Peter Thiel, we're done. How old? So it makes a good point too. Well, okay. Let's say you collapse a business. Actually, I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about.

There you go. Thank you. Oh, my God, she admitted. Thank you. But I would like to see it. That's okay. I understand how you feel. Yeah.

I totally get it. I totally get it. It was just an idea, Ian. Oh, I can't just suggest killing a person as one of the ways to solve society. How's this? Can I show you instead of tell you what I mean? Okay. Get him a gun.

Do you mind? if I put you in a headlock and start tasering you and punching you in the face. Micah, say yes. Just for my example. Okay, but could it be Tim? Well, here's the thing. Yeah. I'm going to fucking beat the shit out of you until Tim changes because he loves you.

Mike. And Tim, if you don't go out and get a fucking job, I'm going to beat the fuck out of her. How's that make you feel, Tim? It already is being the fuck out of me. Well, physically instead of emotionally. How's that make you feel? unemployable. When you go home and you're nursing your bruises,

don't you think you're going to convince him to do what I said? If you think I don't beat the fuck out of him to get a job every day already, Ian? I've got a job. Me and Anthony DeVito are going to be talking about fashion soon. And that's going to be one of the best things anyone's ever seen. Oh my God. I love you both so much. That is the best.

Will you guys move in here? Can we all live together? What if I turned my apartment into a content house? Yes. Dude, that would be the best. Here's what's happening. Foley lives in that room already. I'm upstairs.

I'll turn my office into a bedroom. We will share a wall. We need to sound proof it because you can hear a lot. This will be a content house. Karen and I already talked about going havesies on a bed and breakfast upstate. We will spend time in between and we will die. document, you will help us fix the bed and breakfast up. Yes, I'll do that.

Dude, and then you won't have to work for the man. I would love to quit. I basically already have. They just don't know. It's true. And then, dude, it'll just be a house full of glens and toes. Wouldn't that be nice? Tony's their own floor.

She'll fuck up Glenn. She'll fuck up Glenn and Harvey. I'll kill you. I'll beat the shit out of you to make her to behave better. There's nothing that she won't do it. She does not care about that. The cat will, she'll, Watch her mom get the shit beat out of her

She'd be like, all right, I kind of like that. So she's such a sweetie. She lives in violence. She loves violence. Yeah, me too. Yeah, she's cool. She's on Earth war on stage. Shut up, Black Lizard.

What? But this is good. I like this. Content house is good. And it's not going to be like those boring content houses where everyone's hot and fucking each other. This is real life. Yes.

Yes. This is. real life. This is relatable. Right. Everybody knows a slubby unemployed guy with an insufferable girlfriend. Right. Everybody knows.

Oh, just because I want to kill rich people. I'm insufferable. No, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Everybody knows. Everybody knows a retard with a fucking intelligent, smart person behind them.

That's right. That's a truth. Everybody knows a kind of gay, straight, sometimes queer guy that just wants to love and sometimes be violent. Content house. I like it. Content house. Yes, let's see AI replicate that.

Thank you. Dude, what if that would be, what would we call it? Now I have an idea to sell to the AI company. I'm back in. I just give everything to AI because I'm promised like maybe you'll make more money one day. Be an Ian with content. Dude, there is everything you need in this neighborhood.

Yeah. This neighborhood rules. We got priced out, but we wish you guys stayed, man. It was so, it got so expensive. They raised our $1,500 a month. It went from $3,000 to $4,500. Horrific.

Yeah. I'm so sorry. Or we would have, we would have never left. We would have got it during COVID, right? Yeah, we got a COVID deal, but like some people, their COVID deal just stuck and ours was like, they were like, nope.

And then we had to meet all the rich fucks who wanted to like live in the place. Terrible. I got news for you. Ain't none of them were American. Oh, yeah. Wait, what kind of rich? A lot of Brits.

Yeah. Just being like, just being like, oh, maybe I'll, maybe I'll use this place for when I want to escape from work for five minutes. Is it okay if my, wait, what is that thing you need? We need ice but for British. We need. Yeah. We need ice but for British, Australian, French. The fucking white imms, get them out.

Yes. The Mexicans love. The Muslims on the. the fence. Actually, it's the Mexicans who are on the fence. Got them. Nice. You know, conservatives and Muslims are pretty, conservatives and Islamists are pretty much

the same. The only difference is the color of sheet they wear on their head. There we go. That's a bunch of Shiite to me. It's a nice. It's a nice day out. The Sunni is really shining. New rule.

These jokes are funny now. Dude, Content House, we repurpose politically incorrect. Tim is our new Bill Mar. Yes. I'll do that.

So, huh. I don't know. I don't know what Bill Mar. We said Bill Mar, not Rupal. I think he's such a cunt. I can't watch him.

I don't know. He is insufferable. I love it. I love watching his. monologue, I tune in. Dude, it is such a catty delivery. That, like, how can you be on panel? Not just be like, dude, what the fuck?

Like, when he gets his little, mm-hmm, it makes me getting watching. Even if I don't agree with it, I'm like, this is wild. The only thing I watched was his interview with the Hock to a girl. Did you see it? No. He like fucking spits game at her the whole time. It's the most uncomfortable hour of your life and you cannot miss a second of it.

Is it just little, let's have a job? drink podcast or is it on the show? No, no, he's since it's the one. Yeah, it's his podcast. It's so good because like this was before like while she was at her peak, I guess you could say. And he offers. Day seven.

He's like, listen, honey, I could help you get a podcast. And she's like, no thanks. It's so good. Well, he goes, what would you think about a guy like me or whatever? And she goes, I think you be good with my granny. And he goes, you must not know who I am. No. Oh, yeah.

Like, I'm like, how are you getting upstaged at every. turned by Hawk Tua. But he loves like black chick. Yeah, he likes black prostitutes. I thought he, whom's among us does not. Hey. Him?

De Niro? Ian? I think that's wild. He went after this. She's on his type. I know Bill. No, he's just, he's just flexing, obviously.

You know what I mean? He's like being a smarmy, whatever ass. Why would he flex on Hawk Tua? It's so, and she just fucking, phew, I'm like, she had better game than him the entire time. I'm like, she's been in this industry for two minutes. You've been in it for two minutes.

You've been in it for. 20 years. I'll say, man, she got fucked. Yeah. By her people that took advantage of her. Oh, boo-hoo. Well, she made her millions of dollars and now she's, uh, price. Did she make it or did she have to give it back?

I don't know. I just know she got like, she never had to give any of that fucking, she never had to give any of the rugpole money back. But also like, did she get swindled or did she win the lottery and then not win as much money as she thought? It's like, it was all, she won the lottery and got taxed. You know what I mean?

I mean, if she had to give that money back, then Malania better be giving her money back. and Trump better be given his money back if I can be a little political for one. Do it, Tim. Go to him. Go to go there. Go there. World Liberty Financial, more like

world retard financial. Am I right? New rule. Every punchline has the word retard. Yeah. New Tim loved when Elon proclaimed that comedy is legal again. Fuck, I fucked up saying proclaimed.

It's all right. I couldn't think of gay. I couldn't think of gay. I couldn't think of. guarantor for my good riff earlier. He also couldn't get a guarantor for a good apartment. Well, you couldn't get a loan for that riff. Come on.

Um, what you would call it? I, Fuck. He's thinking. God, I think I'm like getting dementia or something. That's six. It could be your lack of sleep.

Yeah. Why don't you sleep a little? I've been sleeping so much better. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've been sleeping in the night because for, dude, for a while, I was up and down peeing in the middle of night because my kidney stones and everything and I got out and all that pain.

But dude, I am sleeping through the night now. God bless, feeling good in the neighborhood. I'm sleeping on flights now. I used to never be able to do that. How do you get that? I do it instantly. I fall asleep instantly. I take a tiny, tiny, tiny amount of a sleeping pill.

And that helps. Ah. And then later, I take a... He tweets the N-word and then he goes right now. Just let it happen. I said it and forget it. He's just like Africa's full of AIDS. Good night.

Nothing bad shall come of this. Are you a window aisle, middle? No one's a middle guy. I got to be an aisle guy because I get up to pee a lot. Okay. And sometimes I'll say, hey, I pee a lot. Do you want to switch? And they go, I'll take window.

And I go, you're welcome. Yeah, I love the window. I'm a window, man. Yeah. Tim likes to gaze at God's creation. Yeah. I go, he's dead, I tell everyone. People try to pray on my flight.

I go, he's fucking dead. God is dead, bitch, and we pray to Satan on this flight. And we're praying that Satan gets us there safely, you fucking cunt. Drink blood, hell, Satan, praise Christ. Yeah. Uh, uh, huh? I don't know. No, I do.

I like looking out the window like a little kid. Oh, yeah. Dude, are you like our early morning flight open window guy? Because those people should be, they are guillotine. No, no, no. People need to die. If the, okay, so I'll leave the window open. It's called buy an eye mask, Ian.

Who cares? But if the plane... That's a good point. I do make it all about me. If you get on the plane and the windows are closed, I'll keep my window closed because it's so bright. But if the windows are open, when I get on the plane, I don't shut my window, I keep it open.

I fake that I was in the military and I go through and shut all the windows. Oh, that's smart. Oh, like, what is being in the military I have to do? Oh, because you're early. I get it. I tell them I have a peanut allergy and that I'm, I need to wipe down my area and I get on the plane before everyone. Well, I...

That's true. I do that. I'm always going to defend... That's the real thing I do. Is that for real? Yeah, if I have to sit... If I don't get an upgrade and I have to sit in the back, I tell them that... And so I can get on first.

Oh, okay, you're so fat. You have to get on early too. Well, my lie is true to. That's real. You can do it. They can't say anything. You can sue them. If they use this, I'll sue them too.

I don't give a shit. I'll sue their asses. I don't give a fuck. I don't want to wait. People wait and stand in line and then they just stand there. I'm like, just get out.

I want to sit down and I want to watch fucking, I want to watch an episode of diners, drive ins and dives I've seen before. It's what I want to do on the plane. This is the only time Tim advocates for himself, by the way.

I take my plane travel very seriously. I've just been in the Delta Lounge. You think I want to stand with all these smelly fucks? It's like, it's like you're the. nastiest fucker and you didn't even put jeans on. Just fucking get out of the way. We're wearing a big shirt and fucking gray sweatpants.

This isn't a strip club. A big shirt. This is Tim's so mad at a big shirt. I'm going to Indiana. You better not fucking wear a big shirt on the plane. There are a few uglier flights than the ones from New York to Indiana and Indiana to New York. I'll tell you that.

It's brutal. That is an ugly fucking flight. You go down and you're like, no one's missing. almost anyone on this one. It's a bummer. Anyway, if you're in Indiana, come see 10th 40. Yes, September 29th.

I will be at the White Rabbit and Fountain Square. It's going to be an incredible show. There is a weight limit. There is a weight limit to the show. 500 and under. There's a weight limit. No wait list. Damn.

All are welcome. God damn. I will defend opening a window every time, though. Really? Because I'm a nervous flyer and I need to help fly the plane. Oh, that's right. You are a nervous flyer. We've talked about that.

So if I look out, I make sure we're not going down and that's an important job on the plate. They need you. Yeah. They need you. Mike has been good recently though. I'll give her her flowers. She's been doing a lot better recently. Is this helping?

Oh, yeah. Can I be in control of the fan? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have to do it myself because this isn't doing it. Fan is not.

Oh, that does feel good, though. Yeah, it's nice. Oh, now I get why the ladies at the post office have these. I love it when they have, like, those fan necklaces. Post office ladies. Oh, yeah. My mom has a necklace neck fan. It goes around her neck and it's got two little fans here.

Oh, yeah. I go to her house and she looks like crank from the Ninja Turtles. Julia Solomon wears that when she plays that when she plays. on our softball team. Good on her. That's smart. How often do you guys play softball? During the summer on Saturdays at like noon at McCarron.

That's so fun. Yeah. It's a good time. Our team is the worst team in the worst league. Is it pickup or you got to be on the team? We're in a league. They're really bad. They lose every time and they lose a player every other season.

Oh yeah. Our pitcher died this year. Shout out Johnny Rosenberger. Rest in peace to the king. They're like the literal bad news bears. We won. We hadn't won a single game in a year and a half. And then Johnny died and then we started just,

we went on a two-game win streak. He was, he was angels in the outfield. It was awesome. Also, it was bad because we never have enough women to play. So we always have to have women fill in. And Johnny was,

Johnny is like, he was a man about town over at the softball field. Everybody loved Johnny. Everybody loved Johnny. So there was a big memorial for Johnny at the softball. and I was standing there, like, admiring it. She goes, the lady goes, was she on your team? Or was he on your team?

And I go, yeah, yeah. She goes, I'm so sorry. You go, yeah, whatever, it's no big deal. And she goes, huh? And I go, I'm too Irish. Talk to the other ones. I go, don't talk to me about this. I go, I'm not going to deal with my emotions with a stranger or even people I know.

So just go walk, go talk to the other people. Hilarious. Yeah. Good God, Almighty. That's so funny. It was like a week after he died too. And then meanwhile, like sheep detect. comes on and Tim's like,

sheep detectives. Dude, the sheep detective, Johnny Rosenberger shout out before he passed. It was like, you got to see the sheep detectives is fucking great.

What is that? It's a movie where the sheep's have to solve the fucking murder. It's awesome. Sheeps. Yeah. It's really good.

And it's really fun. Did you just hear the bell ring? No, okay. My friend, Evangeline is coming over. It's, it's Paddington-esque.

Have you seen the Paddington movies? Can't say I have Tim. Have you ever? As an adult man, gone to the movie theater alone with a bunch of kids and sat in a big group of children. I don't think so, Tim. I made Micah. I made Micah come to Paddington 3 with me because Chris Hanson told me I fucking had to. I'm his beard as petto beard.

What's the term for a beard for when you want to fuck kids? I don't know. That's good question. A mustache. Don't say that. No, a fox. Sideburn. I think I nailed it

The bruise Go tea No no no No you're not judging the allegations No no no no see I'm gonna beat you up till you change it Oh okay You make change The uh but yeah Paddington is a big wreck for me

Why you cry You get upset Well this little fucker Paddington He just gets into everything And it's an adventure and a half I'm telling you you love the bad What do? I mean it causes trouble no matter where he goes is great.

And he's so fucking cute. But how's he get out of the trouble, Tim? Oh, brother, he's a little bear in a raincoat. How do you think he gets out of it? He's a fucking adorable bitch. Use your fucking brain, Ian. Paddington 1, Paddington 2, great. Paddington 3 was pretty good, but it was...

It's hard to keep the magic going, you know? It is tough. They got to send him to Peru. It's like, okay. Paddington 4, bear with us. I'm telling you, you'll like it. If you get some time. Paddington 5, barely making it.

Barely legal. Ian, can you get me on Subway Takes live tonight so I can tell the people about fucking Paddington? Yeah. Here's my Subway Take. This show sucks. We're watching Paddington. What would your Subway Take be?

I'll pitch it to Kareem. I don't know. I don't know. I think my Subway Take, Borat Voice is back. Yes. I don't know. My wife. Here's my take.

Subway Take my wife. more insightful than half the fucking takes on that show. People come out there with like some of the most pathetic takes. They're like, I think you should treat people with respect. And then they look around like they've fucking done some shit. And then Kareem's like, 100% disagree. And then pisses in their mouth. I'm not another take from that.

I legit. I'm going to say my take tonight and said, Borat voice should be publicly acceptable. I think it should do. I do think that because Borehapp is fun to do and everyone can do it. Yeah. Like no one. It's a uniter, not a divider.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wee wa. Yes, that's fun. And put a smile on your faces. Yeah. Where is Sasha Baron Cohen?

Bring him back to. Oh, God. I would have, what do, what do, is he? Oh, he got divorced from what's her name? Isla Fisher. Yeah. Oh, Fisher. All right.

From now you see me three. I'd actually think I've always said this Tim loves a sequel I love the now you see me movies but the third one I just I couldn't watch the four thing It was too bad

I love a sequel I love a NyQuil That's what bonds is really And I love a quilt An AIDS quilt Fuck You'll get your patch soon Oh hold on

Hello Hello? Oh Yes, I did order a cream pie. Oh, my God. Yeah, we're recording the podcast. You want to come down and say hi or just hang out upstairs. We're going to wrap in like 10 minutes.

Yeah, my producer will come up and get you. James, do you mind getting Ava? Thanks. I like that. My producer will come up. Do you mind? Oh, I just sounded like such a prick. I'm sorry.

No, you're fine. Fuck. No, that's what people do. That's what? My producer, why did I say that? To sound cool. You're supposed to say, your friend? Yeah, really.

Do you my friend that I pay money? That's what a therapist is. Oh, right. No, they're not supposed to be your friend, Ian. You need a better therapist. Oh, fuck. Damn it. Ian, I think everything you're doing is cool and right.

Yeah, yeah. No, he's good at calling me on stuff. I do have to dig deeper. Yeah. And he's, what are we working on in therapy these days? Well, not getting upset when certain things get brought up. Oh, okay. Talking through it.

Nice. Oh, anger management. Anger management, not getting upset when childhood gets brought up. Hi. When childhood gets brought up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not getting upset when he brings up mommy. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you keep talking about my penis? I mean, mother. I've been working with my therapist on when my friends died, just don't go, well, I guess it was gay. And then I go about the rest of my day. Okay, don't have a therapist mentally strong. Don't need that shit. You have to work on a therapy not using children's movies.

This is a way to communicate with pain. Okay. Tim, how do you feel your friend just died? How do you feel? Well, kind of like when Paddington goes on an adventure and he can't start. of a problem. It was kind of, it actually,

it actually was similar to that, like in Paddington 2, when he gets arrested and he's put in jail under false pretenses, and he makes friends with all the people in jail and they escape.

Of course, I am escaping from my emotions, much like Paddington is escaping from jail. I mean, how could you not fall in love with this man? I mean, I've been in love with him since the day I met him.

Do you want to come on or do you don't have to? You can come and say hi. Have you seen the Paddington? Yeah? Oh, yes. I'm so stoked. Hell yeah.

This is Tim and this is Micah. I am Tim. Nice to meet you. This is my friend. Come on, sit down, grab a mic. Oh, Kill Crew. I wear Kill Crew and they won't fucking respond to me and sponsor me. I wear your clothes and tell everyone about them.

Yeah, and me too, actually. So how should we introduce? What name, pseudonym, name? Who do you want to be here? today. I only have like seven. I know, right? That's it. Yeah. Oh, are you like a spy? Sort of. Really?

Nice. I'm like a stripper. Oh. I've heard of that. I mean, honestly, you probably have more intel than the CIA. I have a lot. You don't want to know it. Dude. I don't. Yo. Dude. I want to know.

She, I feel like I do. The secrets she has up in her brain, she is the best CIA which you've ever met. Cool. Yeah. That's sick. You guys are you talking? No, that's okay. Do you like when guys wear sweatpants that they've taken a like a sanding to

and really thinned out? So that there's like almost, there's almost like no clothing between you and themselves. That's so specific. That's what we call Timism. He asks about a friend that doesn't exist. I know.

I mean like when the stripper surprise Tim? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Would you kick me? out of a strip club. She just finished saying, I know shit you can't handle.

And Tim's like, I got something worse immediately. My own life. They kicked me and Sheen out of pumps because we didn't have any money anymore. And all the strippers started singing, if you ain't got no money, take your broke as well. And a man took us by our wrists and took us out the door. And Sheen goes,

Stippers are mean. Oh my God. Sheen is our effeminate friend. He's my best friend. Yeah. He's the worst guy I know. Yeah.

That's hilarious. Man, they'll just tell you anything, huh? Give us one secret. We'll also hold your mic up a little bit. Yeah, hold your mic up. This is Easy E, everybody. Easy.

I like that. Oh, man. AIDS free. AIDS free. Easy. Yeah. Mm-hmm. What guys are always.

fun. The foot guys? They're easy. Yeah. Yeah. Just let him slurp. You let them slurp? No.

Whoa. I thought there was no touching. I don't know. I just don't know. What? Depends how much. Oh, yeah. How much to slurp a foot?

Yeah. $500. Really? Tim, you're getting a job tonight. Micahe says my feet are terrible. They look like meat brats. Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim. Go ahead.

Go ahead, Tim. No, I'm just kidding. No, come on, Tim. I feel like you have to. No, no, no. Yeah, she doesn't slur. They slur. But would you know what a guy was into?

I'll let a guy suck my foot for $500. Actually, I'd criminally under charge them. I'd do it for like $1.50. How much to eat this ashtray full of cigarette? $60. Really? No. Are you serious?

I haven't had a cigarette in six years. I can't do it. I can't have the nicotine. It's all butts. Oh, then. No, I'm just kidding. I won't do it. Micah?

Ian, I can't believe you're like, you should quit AI because it's a bad thing to do, and then you were about to pay your very good friend $60 to poison himself. I'll tell you this. For your entertainment. And I just want to, I need you to check in with your morals. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. That was wrong. And you're a good person for taking up for your guy. You're right. Thank you. No one's ever said that before.

One of the best beers I've ever had in my life at the end. I was like, this beer is so good. A cigarette fell on my tongue. And I tried to recreate it all the, the rest of the night and I couldn't get the right cigarette. Never mind. Give them 40. I couldn't get the right cigarette to beer ratio.

My buddies two years ago for my birthday, they gave me a, they put a candle in a spam and gave it to me as like a gag and I have the spam containering upstairs. I watch a buddy. My buddy is just called. And I put a cigarette in it as like a joke, but then I smoked it. I was like, this tastes fucking delicious. So that we were dipping the butts in the spam. Like this is fucking.

Don't judge me. That's how they created menthol. I was just, yeah, like, what you guys need is a pop. What are those things? The crack of. Oh, the pop rocks. No, no, no, no, the menthol crush. A menthol crush.

A menthol crush. Camel crush. Camel crush. Yeah, but it's spam juice. Oh. Yeah. In the filter. For the Samoans.

What? Because Hawaiians and the Samoans love spam. Brother. Oh. You don't know that, brother? Brother. We had Spam, brother. Say, thank you.

Thank you, Easy. Do you have anything else you'd like to... This is the first time I'm a stripper's talk to you without you having to pay, so do you want to take a... I am getting paid, right? It's true.

Sometimes they don't even talk. No, I don't really have... Yeah, Tim always wants the strippers to talk. Yeah. I did... I was at the strip club, and me and there's one stripper talked about anime for like two hours.

That's the best. And the owner of... Because I was there with the owner of the strip club, and he was like, are you guys fucking in here? And then all of her... clothes were on and she was like and another thing I think about bleach and he's like

are you too gay? What the fuck is happening? That strip club, it was big daddies in Kokomo Indiana. I've told you this Micah. On the left side was for the left side was for black guys and the right side was for white guys.

What? Indiana segregated strip clubs. What in the 1950s are you talking about it? Well I tried to walk to the left because there was a metal detector to the left and there wasn't one to the right. So I thought that you went in on the left. And the owner was like,

you want to go see black strippers? And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, you have a metal detector on only one side of the strip club? And the strippers, they have a white nipple and a black nipple.

It was crazy. And you can only suck from your race of nipple. That's true. Is that, are you, that existed? It existed, yeah,

in 2012 in Kokemo, India. Did they ever integrate the strip club or did one race win? I don't know. I haven't been back. That same day I saw a bunch of guys with their shirts off carrying AR-15s. And it was like five guys with AR-15s and an American flag. And they were doing their own protest about the Second Amendment in Cogamo, Indiana,

where no one gives a fuck. Just so you know, the first time I met Tim, I stayed at his house for a weekend doing stand-up. And he left, and I got his bed one night because that was his night to drive and gamble. So that's all you need to know about Tim. Yeah. That was his night. Yeah.

Well, I would host an open mic at, um, you're going to lose them. I hope so. How's this feel like watching your relationship dissolve and finding a new life? Oh, with her? Yeah. Have fun, lady. Oh. I'm very happy.

I'm not happy with the toe sucking and everything. Oh, he'll let you earn. Yeah. I don't get before it. I'd never. up a woman from working, ally. I would host an open mic that paid me

$50 and it would go till three in the morning and then I would go to the casino and play a $50 poker tournament with the money I got from the You're good at this. She was like, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was just doing my job. You're worth every penny, honey. Yeah. Pay up to you. Oh, no. Don't you fucking dare give her money. I was like, thank you. I was like, this man owes me for our bed.

Micah, did you think there was real money in my wallet? You didn't let me do the, there was nothing in there. Okay, sorry I didn't let you do your bit. There's Korean wand in there. All right. Well, this has been awesome. Any parting words, I, would you like anything to say?

promote, let people know about anything? Probably not. No, okay. Timothy? Check out YouTube. We've transitioned. We used to be the Great Ang podcast. If you look it up, you can find it.

But now we are, we love TV. We're doing a mystery science theater style of like talking over nostalgic 90s commercials. So if you want to check that out, look up. We Love TV on YouTube or the Great Eng podcast. You'll find it either way. and you know Indianapolis September 29th

come out to the white rabbit in Fountain Square it's going to be an incredible show God you finish that sentence yeah thank God you said rabbit and we are doing a rally for the white race but no no no no no no

but all race is welcome progressive thank you please follow me on social media M-Y-K-A-F-O-X that's my name on all of them And check out, check out our new pod. And that was really fun.

And thank you so much for having. This is the best. Thank you for having us, Ian. This was fun. I love you guys. This is amazing. I'm so happy we got to hang. Content house.

Content house. We were thinking about turning my house into a content house. Oh. What do you think of that? Ianfinance.com for all my dates. Patreon.com slash beaniem pod. Punchup. That live slash Sean Jensen for all her dates.

Ian doing an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube. slash eating finance comedy produced by ym h you guys are the best thanks to tune in we love you follow these guys they're so funny they're the fucking best and we'll see you next time bye bye