Bein' Ian With Jordan - Is This Thing On W/Will Arnett & Bradley Cooper | Bein' Ian with Jordan #187

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

Comedy icon & star of Is This Thing On? Will Arnett invades the Delaware Den to talk about the highs and lows of the entertainment business, touring, & what it's like working with Jordan on set, plus a call-in from Bradley Cooper! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!? Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast -Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold w/ code SKA @ http://BlueChew.com/ -Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% off with code FIENDCLUB at http://takeultra.com #UltraPouches #ad Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Follow Will! https://instagram.com/arnettwill Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Outro song: Title Holder “It Doesn’t Matter” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Telling jokes and having smokes riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being in Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being in

Being in Life is shit which are positive Let's find out what it's like to live alive being in being in with Jordan and Intel were the last

comics to play Caroline's on Broadway and Caroline Hirsch was there, the owner and she and I she was friends with Bill and she and I were gushing he's like my number one all-time favorite comic and so

she for my birthday that year gave me the last poster that was outside Caroline's on Broadway of his poster a couple months before he died when he played carolines wow it's like pretty cool yeah but he is that great bit about how uh where is it upstairs right um right when you walk in you do one of those things like every day every day yeah like when notre dame goes down to the field

yeah that's what exactly what i was thinking about yeah we could go up and kiss it and then come back down if you want good i'm good okay fair fair fair well that pack of cigarettes yeah right there is freaking you out absolutely disgusting but bill hickickick has that joke about where he's like they give warnings now and uh this says low birth weight so i found my brand yeah yeah that's the show whole show i'm just going to quote jokes at you that's good uh welcome back to another episode of be and e and with jordan jordan is uh would you know can you believe she's running late i can't believe it i can't believe it i can't believe it all the time all the time all the time what's funny is so jordan asked me to come and join you guys yeah

So I'm like, yeah, great. Yeah. And then I'm here before she is. And you're stuck with me. And I'm in. Do you know what you've walked into? Not really. I don't.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't. Anyway, Willardette's here. It's all alarming. Yeah. I mean, I got out of here and I was like, I was like, okay, I'm going to go to this pie. And then I got, I took an Uber.

here, which we're still in the snow, in the aftermath of Snowmageddon. Yeah. It was paying the ass to get here because the snow is. Yes. But anyway. Yeah, and then they dropped you off in the middle of the street. There's like a 20 foot snow bank.

And I call Jordan and who's, you know, still underway here. Yeah. And I'm like, am I in the right place? And she goes, I think so. And I'm like, well, I look out my window and I just see this mountain tree truck standing in the middle of the street. I'm like, I think that's him. I'm just looking around like, I need to be found.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please, I need an adult. Help me. I'm like, yeah. Like, is this? This is how I die? Yeah. You know what I mean?

In the middle of Brooklyn? Well, you get to the middle of Brooklyn and you're like, where the fuck am I? And I'm like, oh, you think you're in a bad spot. Come down to an even worse spot. Yeah, right. This. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is fine.

It's a fun basement. Thank you. Yeah. I needed that. Do you spend any time? down here I hear noise. Yeah.

Does she got keys? Yes, but she never uses him. Was she like this on set? Did she do it? No. She was very attentive. Ah, interesting. She was very much on time.

Probably had to do less out of respect for me and more out of respect for Bradley. Bradley Cooper. I don't know. Yeah. I'm not familiar. He's an actor. Hang on.

Interesting. I don't know why. you taking the shoes off well you started to take them off upstairs and I said hey don't worry yeah it was just like a so now she's going to come down

give her a real raft of shit oh hey hey oh thank you for taking your shoes off for being polite oh nice hey come on in

to answer your question sure I'll come do your And be on it before you. Yeah. Well, that's how it goes. I got fucked in the snow. Did you get... I thought you were going to be as late as me. Delayed.

Delayed. You were delayed. I was late. I'm always late. We've gotten accustomed to this. Well, there's no choice. There's no choice. How many episodes of this podcast have you guys done?

Do you know? 196. 1096. Oh, is this going to be the 200th episode? Oh. $299, you've done. Yes. And this is the 200th.

This is the deuce. Then we have to hold it forever. Wow. 400? Wow. I have to change my life around. I have to do things differently. How many of you done with the boys?

We've done. That's a good question. Like, like, like, like 270 or something like that? Do you bank a bunch? I think that's right. Do you do a bunch in a day and then so you guys can go out? Or do you do them every week? We rarely do.

We've done it a couple times where we've done two in a day, rarely. Yeah. But we have some weeks where we do more. Yeah. Where we'll do two or three in a week. But sometimes it's not the three of you. Sometimes it's two of you? Always three of us.

How? Always. It's just a scheduling nightmare. That's crazy. So Sean's here in New York right now because he's doing a play. So he's in rehearsal. and so and then Jason's in L.A. and then I've been in it.

And we just do it like we've done it before where one of us has been in the UK, the other one's in Los Angeles, the other one's in New York, and we just figure out. Zoom, you zoom in it? Yeah, man. We don't do it in person.

Amazing. What? Oh, wow. You don't do it in person? You got good equipment. Not really. But you got good chemistry to make that work. We're pros, man.

Yeah. And then you go on tour. is what happens when you're 55 you know what I mean you've can we do that when you're 55 you can we do it remotely god that be sick that's why when you said like it got to come to brook I was I could I mean I could call in well just so you know I just want to catch you up to speed so we came in brought him down here we started the pod without you but I already filled him in on a bunch of stuff I blew the shofar show far I tased at him so we're all caught up if you need to do anything You did tase at him?

Yes. He tased it in my direction. So it was like, so that was alarming, you know? Did he get alarmed? How did he handle it? I think he recoiled and then questioned like, why am I here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it was nice.

I gave you the option to do the dignified podcast, and you chose this one. I would like the audience to know that. I did say we could go to a nice place and have an interview, and you don't have to go into a basement. And he said, I want the basement. I want to be tased. This is a nice place. And more importantly, I want to be your audience.

He met Glenn. That's what he said. I did meet Glenn. He met Glenn. So the cat. I don't live here, just so you know that. Okay. We've tried to pull her in.

Do you want to live here? Nope. Yes. Okay. I do not. Take a little more time with that. So anyway. Do you have European Sigs here?

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Get a load of that. Yeah. Isn't that great? I mean, that's really some. Well, I'm not European.

They're from the UK, and they have decidedly removed themselves. from Europe, as we know. Yes. I want to get into Brexit. I want to get into Brexit, you guys, if you can't. Brexit ruined my time in London. I think they're all narcs, and I hate every one of them. Boy, how do it ruin your time?

Remember, I had to rent a car drive on the opposite side of the road on the auto bond because my dog wasn't accepted on any. And listen, the people. No. No, my dog is a registered service animal even though it's fake. You're a liar. She's also. You're a liar?

Two, she's tiny. But that doesn't make you exempt from rules. So let me ask, sorry, if we can just pause, because I'm a, I'm a, every, every, I'm a dog person. I'm like, fuck off everybody is, like, for the most part. Yeah, I'm a cat. So when people go like, oh, my guess. Like, I love animals. It's their way of saying, I like animals more than you do.

And therefore, I'm more empathic. And by the way, everybody's an empath. I get it. Can I tell you something? I don't agree with you. When I say I'm a dog person, what that means is she has a time. I'm a dog. I'm not quoting you.

Okay. What I'm saying is, what I'm asking, rather, is you went to Europe for work. Yeah. And you brought your dog. How long were you going for? A long time. How long? How a week?

No. 11 days. Two weeks. It was two weeks. It was two weeks. It was not a lot of time. I can't have anybody watch her. She's too.

Yes, you can. Bringing a dog to Europe while you're traveling, you stand up in different. I regret it. I do regret it. But let me just say. For all the obvious reasons? For the UK being pieces of shit fascists. And they would not let me.

They would, all the other countries were fine. There are rules. No, it's because the UK is super rigid now and nobody knows that. And all, my whole team was like, it'll be totally fine. But because of Brexit, now all the rules are saying. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You couldn't bring your dog to Europe because of Brexit? Yes, that's right.

Explain. Do your dog have European papers? Is that what? I got her all the papers. Your dog is a part of the law. Labor Party? What I found out was because of Brexit and all of the insane laws, she couldn't get in. Because when she barked, she goes, rough immigrant town.

It's like, hey, chill, chill, coyote chill. They even, like, saw that they, like, checked her papers and there was, like, one thing off. So then they came outside and, like, wrote down my license plate and was like, you can't get in. So I had to smuggle her onto a ferry. That makes me happy. Under the. Wow. Question.

Go for it. Do you bring your dogs with you? No. No. Interesting. Moving on. You have partners, people who love you that would watch your dog. I do have a lot of people who love me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A question. Plural. Yeah, you have multiple partners. To follow that up.

When you said you have many people that love you. What's that like? We would like to know. Yeah. You have like a family and stuff. I do. I do have a family. I have a lot of people that I love.

Mm. I have three. three sons. Yeah. Who will lovingly watch your animals. Yes. I thought that I could be a little she-she about it. I thought I could bring my dog.

Now we're getting to it. I thought I could be a little fancy lady. This is what I wanted to get to. And I have severe OCD about my dog. I really do. Like I just left her at my house with a man and I'm like, what if he kills her? What if he's called?

But do you have this image of yourself traveling through Europe with your little dog. I did. A little bonnet. I did. Because I went to Italy and they all have dogs. Yeah. And I imagined a pico.

And I imagine my dog having a little bandana. And maybe a little, maybe a little newsy boy cap. Sure. On her, not me. Sure. And yeah, we, every morning we get up, this is real in New York and we share a croissant together. Sure, she's getting fat. So am I.

Yeah. I was just on a cruise and had to be shirtless for a while. And boy, was that sober. Oh, yeah. You went on the emo cruise. Have you ever been on a cruise? I sure haven't. What is it?

Big boat. It's a big boat that people who loved a nightmare before Christmas growing up go on. And it's an emo cruise. Emo. We did stand up on an emo cruise. Imagine if you woke up and you were in his life. What? That'd be crazy.

And I was telling you tomorrow you're going to go to stand up on an emo. It'd be a short day. Huh? Dude, we'd have fun. That's bleak. Ripping Sigs, hanging out. Sure. Keeping shoes on.

Sure. No, we had a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun. It was just an easy. And then what am I going to do? Not. Yeah. I want to know more about the emo crew.

So where did you embark from? Miami. To Costa Maya, Mexico. Two days on the boat, one day off. Did activities, excursions. The only thing that was left, because we didn't sign up early enough was the Jeep tour. So you drive

a Jeep around and look at Costa Maya, Mexico. You rip Sigs in the car. The guy catches you. And then you go, wait, you're taking us on a tequila tour. And everyone's drinking tequila and then driving, but I'm an asshole for smoking. Yeah. And then

they go, Los Santo, and I go, yo soy moitista. Yeah. I'm very sad. I'm very sad. Oh. You couldn't rip sigs on the... You did go on the Jeep tour. I buy ripsticks. You did rip six and they got mad at you. Yes.

I was in San Diego recently and the Uber driver was like, you can, what's the place, what's the place in Mexico that's right near there? Tijuana. Tijuana. He was like, he was like, you can just go to Tijuana and you can get fucked up and then come back. He goes, I had, he goes, I just walked back because I was there earlier and I got wasted. And I was like, you know, you're driving Uber and he was like, yeah, you could just do that.

I was like, pull over. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. The reason is you can just do that. Yeah, you can just do that.

In life. People let you do that. It was crazy. Yeah. It was nuts. I just got snowed into Cleveland and almost hung myself. Hanged. Hanged.

Thank you so much. Fuck. Almost hanged myself. One person at a time, I'm doing it. Thank you. Yeah. It's really almost hanged. Yeah.

Hung out. We hung out. You hung a picture. Hang. A person is hanged. Yes. But hanging and hunging. I'm just right.

Are you? Yeah, very much. We can Google and all that. Oh, do all of it. Please. I hanged him. But doesn't it seem like hanging of a photo and hanging of a man? Pretty much the same exact same.

Yeah, but it sounds weird going, we hanged out. No, you can say we hung out. It's just, it's when you're referring to somebody taking their life by hanging, it's, you say hanged. He was hanged. He hanged himself. I, you know, yeah. I was just talking to Barbigley about this. I have a hanged nail.

Burbiglia said you have to, he goes, you have to, you now, you now, woke-wise have to say that their life was taken by suicide. Like they were a victim of suicide. No, no. No, no. Who, wait, who said that? Bribigley, you know the arbiter of language?

I know, I was going to say. I'm not taking any advice over Bribiglia, first of all, on anything. The guy fell out of a window or a Likinta Inn. It's a great story. Amazing, incredible. I've read the book multiple times. Is you looking at a picture of Will? Well, I wanted to say, speaking of hanging,

I was going to hang a photo on my apartment as a goof when you walked in. And the photo is of you and me in 2006 when I met you on the street. No way. And I thought it would be funny. But then I forgot to go to the store and print the photo out. Oh my God. Thank God you have that beard, huh? Where was what's happening?

What? That's us hanging out. It's the same thing. We hanged out. We hanged out. You're frightened. That's the time we're not there. Yeah.

I mean, he says. I was also going to play on my speaker, the final countdown. Sure. But Jordan wasn't here, and I thought better of it. Yeah. I mean, the question is, do I feel more comfortable? But, but wait, wait. So, where did that?

I love you. Oh, God. Fuck. I told you. Doors are locked. Glenn has a gun. I told five people that I'm here. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. And if they don't hear from me in 30. No service. Oh yeah, conveniently. This is what a fuck is this one of those bunkers? Yes. Look at a fucking sex bunker.

I'm going to. James is jigsaw. If you can, you should take a look at that room next door. It is literally a sex done. It's a fine room. It just doesn't have anything on the wall. It's a windowless room with a bed. It is horrific.

It is a guest room that my friend sleep in when they pass through town. Okay. And it's a crash pad. Okay. Where are you staying? Not there. Wait, Ian, let's get back to, how did you... Do you want our fleshlight?

I'm good. How did we... It's so much. How did we have the opportunity? Why are you putting your jacket on? I'm cold now from the shivers of regret. It's all chill out, okay? Yeah, he is anxious.

He is anxious sweat. We can smoke just because he's here. And it's not a habit. Either of you. Either of you boys. Dude, imagine you stay in that room. I come home. What's up?

Yeah. Want to rip them? Let's go. Devolve quickly. That's Tuesday. You're here till the weekend. How are we going to do? How do we,

how did you and I end up taking a photo together? I had gotten word that you were staying at the Carlisle. No way. And. No way. No kidding. I'm kidding. No fucking way, dude.

A friend of mine had taken improv classes And there was like a fucking party at UCB And I think it was like an S&L thing And they were like, hey, do you want to come? And I was like, all right. And then I got my picture with you and John Krasinski And I was like, this is the greatest night of my life. And then I got blackout drunk and woke up on the G train.

How we'll get to that. How old were you in that photograph? 12. No. No. I was, I think I was like a junior in NYU. I was like what? Maybe 20, 21, I think.

22, I think. Okay. So wait, wait. When you went to NYU? I went to NYU. So all the kids out there who are thinking about going to college, if you go to NYU, you can have ripping Sigs in a sex basement in Brooklyn.

I've never had sex down here. That's not true. Once. Didn't count. Because it was oral. You told me it was a lot of oral. And you said it was right. It was 69 and that cancels it out.

Yeah. Anyway. No, 20 years ago, if I'm 41, it was 20. If you notice, I'm not, no follow up from me. Because you agree. No. You agree. No, I don't.

No follow up. That's true. So I'd move on. All right. So we met at UCB. It's nice that you took a photo with him. That is, I wouldn't even say met. It was like, hey, can, a big fan guy.

I got a photo. That's it. And then, and then I said, I'll see you again one day. I was wondering about that. About checking. It's hoping you got to laugh. You're real stingy on given, huh? You said that to the photo every day since that.

I'll see you again. I always wonder that about when people take photos, because, you know, from time to time, people are like, hey, can I take a photo, you know, with you? I always think, like, what does that do? I don't know. It's devastating. It bums me out.

When people do it, it's a sign of severe mental illness. No, it's not. I mean, I get the people are fans. I get that people are fans. And so then I go, but I go like, what do you say? Like, do you show it to people? I have a guy, I had a guy recently print out a bunch of photos of me. Yeah.

At my meet and greet, I was selling posters and he printed out a million photos. And he was like, can you sign all of these? And I was like. Well, you're selling them. Yeah, you're just going to sell these. That's a crazy. No, did I sign everyone? Yeah.

They have these things that get you to sign. They're called cells. They're like these plastic little squares. And they now, they used to have like four at a time. They'd ask, when you go out in and out of an event, they'd ask you to sign them like those autograph seekers. And now they have it, so they have like 12 or, I still got it at 16 in row.

And they want you to go in and then they get mad when you don't sign all 16 of them. And the guy flips it over, he's got 16 more. Who is that guy? They're professional autograph hunters. And then what happens is they take their picture with you because they want to prove that that's really yours because they proved that they were there.

they get to do this? Yeah, but you can Photoshop. Like suckers or like actual people? And so these are people, you see them, they're always the same sort of crew and they're at every, when you go in and out and doing stuff, they're always at this. Are they well dressed?

Are they like car drivers? Agro. Oh, really? Why would you do it? Have you done it? You can't say. It's hard because they're also like sometimes you want to, because there are people waiting sometimes outside

when you're coming into a place, they know you're going. And so you do it. It's like a bad look to not. Yeah. Yeah, because there are also legit people. there who were just fans? Fans, yeah.

But again, with the photo, and I'm always just curious. I mean, I guess it's the same idea with the autograph, because, like, you get the autograph back in the day, just like a legit fans. And you know, like,

can I get your autograph? And you go, yeah, sure. And you sign it. Well, it's like a baseball card or like a baseball, you get like your favorite ball player to sign an autograph. But the picture thing,

makes more sense. The picture thing to me is, I like memories. And I have over 100,000 photos on my phone. And on days that I feel really bad, I go back to look at the good times I've had to remind myself that I'll feel better again. Is that true?

Yes. Whoa. What? No, if that's true, is that true? I want to get into this. I like that. You look back at the memories to say things will be good again. Jordan, you know what?

There's a lot to that that I really like. Ian, I support that. Yeah. Because if you get it in a bad spot, you've got to reach for the stuff that feels good. I'm a big proponent of that as sort of cheesy as that sounds. I don't know if I'm a proponent of looking at the bad, the, the past to facilitate the future. It's not to facilitate.

It's to remind you that you were feeling good one day. And you can feel good again. Well, that's because you are... I'm what? I'm what, Ian? Oh. What do you think I was going to say? I don't know.

Quit creaking over there. Well, it's Velcro. And I'm trying to get higher up. But it's like a gratitude list. When you feel down, you think of the things you're grateful for so that you can start to build momentum the other way it's all about perception and perspective and so you can change your perception and when I feel low I'll look back at things I remember fondly to kind of jumpstart me into feeling better and then go I can feel good again

you know perspective is all we've got yeah really yeah so so I don't think that I could look back on the past and think I get it that you're doing that and I'm proud of you and that's great but I think that if I looked back on the past and I saw myself happy I would juxtapose me being sad and I would think that I was... When we've missed each other, you've sent me pictures of like us in Vegas. You know, it's like, hey, I miss you. Thinking of this, remember?

Okay, yeah, I can see that. And so it's like kind of doing that, but with yourself. Yeah. You know, and I think that's why I collect a lot of pictures. It's good to look back at different seasons. I'll do that. In the depths of March, I'll look back at a season and be like, oh yeah, things will...

Yeah, or I'll look back at this time last year, the year before that go, man, I couldn't imagine. back then being where I'm at now and I can't imagine where I'm going to be this time next year. What a gift you know. Yeah. And I also like my, in high school and everything I had those Kodak insomatic

cameras and I would cut out picture. My whole bedroom was like collage photos of me and my friends. So I've always been kind of like a picture guy. Where did you grow up? Delaware. Okay. Yeah. Momington. How about you? Toronto. You're a crippling picture guy. It is crazy.

Anywhere we go. He will find somebody. who's in the middle of doing their very important blue-collar job, and he will stop them and be like, can you take a photo of me and my friend? When did that? Dude, so, everywhere we have been on a trip. Do you remember when I fell in the cactus? Thank God I documented it.

Well, you documented it while you were filming. Oh, yeah, that's why I fell. Whoops. He fell. He was documenting us because he's always documenting, and he slipped, going downhill, slipped, fell onto a cactus, flew up in the air, then fell back down onto a homeless man,

onto a homeless man's body, because he was documenting so much. And it is true, it is good that we have that. But you are happy that you have. I am, I am happy that we have that. For the noises, for the sounds. Okay. Just needed an excuse.

Are you really burnt out from the PR tour? I am. It's really intense. I don't know how you guys are doing that. It's really fucked up. It's been, it's, it's, it's, it's just the same questions over and over and over. It's dumb. I saw you on one the other day.

I love the movie. What's your? What's your? What's your body? It was like, it was like, what? If you could have one, fuck, I forgot what it was, but I was like, this is the most brutal question. Well, it was like a pet about a pet. Oh, if you could have one dog in the afterlife or something like that.

I was like, I don't even, he's got to put a gun in his mouth. I think I've done, I think, just me deleting that question. I think I'm trying to figure out we're going to get a final number because I just finished like basically last week. And I think I've done north of 400 interviews, something like that. It's crazy. Between junkets and interviews and Q&A's and stuff. How much is each time? It varies.

Usually just a few minutes each. And yeah, I mean, we started the film opened October. Ninth, I think, was the ninth, right? Yeah, the ninth, that screening at New York Film Festival. And basically didn't stop until end of January. And you say the same things about everybody. You're like, Laura Dern is the best. Bradwick was my friend.

Basically. It's crazy. Basically. And then you've got to figure out, well, this is the way that you can end up saying something really stupid or controversial because your brain starts to wander. Yeah. So you have to stay on top of it. Otherwise, you take the wrong position on something.

You're like... And you understand why those wicked girls got... sick in the head. I mean, you'll understand by the last, I mean, they probably did, if you did 400, they did 800, and by the last interview, they're like physically molesting each other. They're like, they're trauma bonding so hard on these press things

that everybody's losing their mind, and I'm like, I think I would too, if I was being kept in a cage. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, I mean, by the way, a lot of people have way rougher jobs. Yeah, yeah. But it is mentally, it's very taxing. Yeah. Well, also, they're dispersing it to all of these different subgroups, and I'm

getting all of it, because I was in the movie. Right? So I'm seeing every one of them. So I'm being like, oh, these poor, but not everybody is, their perception is like, oh. No. And then, and then on top of it, and it's a lot of like your goat,

you're always, we were talking about before we started outside. We're always living out of a suitcase. And like you're never get on time anywhere because you're like here and then in New York and then you're overseas. I think we're bearing the lead here. When you do these press junkers,

you still have an answer, what animal would you take to heaven? I'll find that video. We are. A kindly raccoon. Well, the one that I ended up like sort of jokingly pushing back on as people would go, they'd go, if you had to describe this movie in three words,

what would it be? And I'd go, what are the conditions under which I have to describe the movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Right. Is there a gun? Why? Yeah.

Help me, please. And if there is a gun, And why is that person, why are they, why are they thread me with a gun to describe my movie in three words? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know?

Totally. I mean, that's like, when I'm like working on writing a show right now and it's like, they're like, what is the log line? And I'm like, I can't do, I can't distill it into this tiny thing. And I shouldn't have to. No. I wonder what? And they're like, well, you have to.

And I'm like, because of you? Yeah. What? Who? Why? Yeah. Yeah. I wonder why that is.

I guess people just want to be able to sort of. Yeah, but also you have to think probably. probably all of this is being disseminated to so many, like, I don't want to be insulting, but like low common denominator thinkers. It just went like quick, fast, good. Well, we live in the world, certainly where everything wants to be digested in these tiny little,

and they just want to like, tick-talkable. Put you in like a quick clip of something. Also, and also keep in mind that the people who are doing the interviewer are probably bored as fuck too. Yeah. So they're like, whatever. Yeah.

They don't give a shit about me. Everybody Karim that does subway takes, he just did red carpet interviews for the Golden Globes. I was like, dude, that's great. That must have been amazing. With the Metro Card? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. My episode just came out yesterday. My take, cats are better than dogs. Cat people are kinder than dog people. And those fucking mass thugs taking over our towns, those ice agents, don't own cats. That was your take?

How did people respond? In the midst of all this? What? That's... Dude. I'm a fucking traveling clown. I'm not supposed to solve everything. Your take was cats are good?

Yeah. Sorry, my take wasn't like the philosophical meanings of religion or the trappings of a society in which we believe in things that aren't real so that we can then end up in a hell or heaven of our own design. That was not my take.

My take was that people that people who are religious aren't really religious. That was all that it was. And I just gave you a log line. Wait, wait, wait, which is that's your... Go ahead. That I just don't.

don't buy it when people say they're religious because if you're truly religious, you'd be banging people's door down to get them to convert and you would train your kids. Well, I think more to the point, I was thinking about this, which is I grew up, I guess, I guess, you know, we'd say Christian, it was, in this country, it's Episcopal. So Anglican in Canada. Okay. And, and what's that? What is that? That's like, it's Church of England, basically, Anglican Church. Right. And in this country, it's called the Episcopalian.

Okay. Right. But I... So anyway, so it's like, I don't know, it's like Catholic Light. Thank you. And I was thinking about this today. I've thought about it a bunch recently, but I was thinking about, I don't know why, I was thinking about the idea of Christianity.

And if you look at sort of the... I know so little about it. So please spare me in the fucking comments. I don't give a shit. But the idea that, like, it's based on this idea of being kind to other people. And if... And there's none of that.

So that's why they don't buy anybody. So people go, well, we're Christian. I'm like, well, then you wouldn't support any of this stuff. Anything that has anything to do with harming or oppressing other people. I don't buy it. That's just not true. Yeah, but isn't there literature just embedded in the Bible that is basically like... Take it.

Take the call, Ian. Oh, it's God. Yes. Isn't there... Oh, it's me. Is it you? It is. Hang on.

Is it God? Bradley say how to Jordan. Hi, Bradley. I'm here too. Oh, you were frozen and it just looked like you were so disappointed to see us. I'm doing Jordan's podcast. You know, it's just, I was just talking about you for like the last 40 minutes of Kristen.

Really? Kristen, who? Yeah. Oh, Kristen, Kristen. The love of my life. Yeah. Hell yeah. Well, that makes me very happy. Good things, right? Nothing about the way my apartment looks or my hygiene. It's about the potential of your creative and numbers of the future.

Whoa. Whoa. That's great. That's pretty sick. Christian rules. I love her. Yeah, she's amazing. She's brilliant. Where is this? This is awesome. Thank you, Bradley. My name's Ian Fidantz. The E. It from B&Ean. Jordan. I'm from Delaware. I love your Philly cheese steaks. Go birds. I'm so sorry.

Why not American Summer? Change my life. It's Ian's house. I don't have any follow-ups. Don't have a don't. I don't live here. I'm going to get well out. This is my basement. I have a spare room open door policy anytime you're in town, Brad. Be red. Anyway Um Hey bro We'll call you later

We can do Sigs inside What's that? This is in New York City It's in Brooklyn Yeah We are in Ian's basement This is where they do their podcast But I will call you later

Say bye to Jordan Bye Thank you for saying nice things It's nice to see you I'll talk to you without him around. All right, buddy. Oh, Christian. Just say hello.

Okay, okay, bye, bye, bye, bye. I think that won't really well. Well, you blew it with Bradley Cooper. You're out. But, hey, here's the good news. You were never in. Well, let me tell you some, well, people make mistakes.

That's why pencils have erasers round two, him on the couch, you on the other side, hanging out, redemption. Not going to happen. No? No. Fair. No way. Do you see how handsome he is?

Did you see his eyes? Did you see his glistening eyes? Do you think that's something that handsome and talented? Do you think myestro? I barely made it here. You think fucking Maestro is going to? The guy's like a fucking one of the great artists of our time. What are you talking about?

What? Is he like cats? Did you at least meet Glenn? Did you see the window behind him reflecting off of his blue eyes? Oh, it was incredible. It was amazing. Yeah. I got lost.

I blacked out. Yeah. I don't even know what I said. I'll tell you later what you said. Oh, no. He does have it all. Oh, my God. Yeah.

He was great in the movie, too. He was really funny. Let's get to that. How great was Jordan in the movie? Well, I... Oh, you did see it. He did just see it. You did see it. You did see it. Okay. Amazing.

I'm so glad you guys. Yeah. It was good. Yes. It was really good. Nice. And then... She's so great in the movie. It was such a like...

I don't know. It's just one of those... Question. It's your house, man. He doesn't... It doesn't like attention being diverted. No, no, no, I'm just going to ask. As a stand-up in the movie, you obviously had to tell jokes. You had to get on mic and talk.

Seeing how great she is at stand-up, how did that help you in your delivery? Because I noticed the way you told jokes is kind of very similar to you in the way that it's not... Rambling? Huh? Rambling meltdowns. Yeah. Well, I mean, first of all, don't... That's an insult to her.

What? Because I play a guy who's just trying to figure his way out. He doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't mean to go there in the first place. And he finds himself talking about his life. Yeah, yeah. And kind of, and he has no, you know, sort of designs on becoming a stand-up, really. In our story.

Of course, it's inspired of the true story of this guy, John Bishop. Have you met John yet? He's coming over again in next month. Why wasn't he in it at all? we were going to at one point to have him do something. I think that we just wanted to keep it sort of. He's great, by the way. John Bishop's fantastic.

He's awesome. He's quite handsome. He's very handsome. I wasn't imagining that. I think because he's British. British comics are like, let's hear a word from our sponsors. We'll be right back.

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He's a very hits guy. He's a silver fox. And I will say this, like, he's a silver fox. He's got great hair. He and I were just in Liverpool last week or 10 days ago or whatever. In it? Liverpool. In it?

Yeah. Liverpool. Liverpool. Not close. That's it. Did you see the Beatles? Yeah, the Liverpool. John Lennon.

Is it spot on? Yeah. John Winston Lennon. No, I was talking about this on this thing, actually. What's funny in Liverpool, it's, first of all, it's an awesome place. It's just like so not London. Everybody's, London's great too, but it's just very different. And, and, but they do this thing that I love where you meet them, you go,

you're here and Will, and they go, Will, nice to meet you, you okay? Oh, I love that. You're like, oh, yeah, I'm good. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'm good. And they're looking at you, you okay. That's nice. It's kind of cool. Whoa.

Because a lot of them aren't okay, I think. Yeah, but doesn't that? I like that. You meet somebody. You go, hey, nice to meet you. You okay? Yeah, but isn't that a bit confrontational? Like, hey, you good?

I don't know. Whoa. No, I like you. You don't think they're doing it like trying to start a fight? I think it's like a new thing that I want to develop, like it just has a new affectation. I've had so many affectations in my life. Like, I need to replace. Wait, what do you mean?

Like shit that you do, you know? A little, you know, just stuff that you do to try to embellish yourself. Give us an example. Like, you okay? Australian say, how are you going? How are you going? How are you going? And I'm always like, by car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's kind of like, how do you do? How are you going? You okay? You okay. I like that. I say it to my dog a lot and she knows to respond to it now, but I say it frequently. You okay?

Really? You okay? Okay. Yeah. I say this guy is a nice nose. Oh, dear cats. Anyway, you were in London. Smart.

I mean, Liverpool. Thanks. With John Bishop. And then we were in Liverpool. We went to a match. And then we were in London. And I'm like, he's, if I'm 55, John is, he's a few years older than I am. But, uh.

Oh, my God. He's the same age as Louis. And, uh. Oh. That's crazy. Fantastic. Are we at the same age? Yeah.

No way. Yeah. And you're younger than a tell. I'm younger than a tell. And but John, he's like, you know, he's dedicated. Like he was at the gym at 6 a.m. before a full day of press. Like, oh, that's nice. So Gora's like that.

We would do a whole writer's room together and Tom would be up at 7 a.m. working out with his trainer and then show up and do a full day of writer. Well, I would be napping in the breakout rooms. It was crazy. I wish I had that. I wish I had that capacity. I've had periods like that, but it's tough to do. Anyway, my point is he takes care of himself and it shows.

John Bishop. Is he L.A. now? No, no, no, no. He lives outside of London. And he's big. He's a big dude. He's a great footballer, like soccer player. Yeah.

Kind of played a little bit like one of those like almost could have gone Premier League style, like played at a high level. Super smart. Was he in finance or was that just here? Yeah, he was it? Not in finance. He was like a, he was like a pharmaceutical company. He was a rep.

Yeah. And he's just, and he's just a cool dude. And you met him, he told you the story and you were like, sitting next to him on a barge, like on a canal boat in Amsterdam. Oh my God.

Yeah. I had a lunch. And with a bunch of mutual friends, I didn't know him. And my buddy Chris, TK says, oh, do you guys know what you guys? He said, John, tell Will,

how you became a stand-up. And so he tells me, the story. I'm like, wait, that's bananas. Like, literally walked into a bar and didn't want to pay the cover. Yeah. And then Munslett didn't tell him, but his wife came and saw him with her new group. They were almost two years into their separation, and, like, the divorce

was almost final. And she had no idea. Nobody in his life. When he did tell his parents, his mom did say, we had no idea your life was this bad. Really? Yes, you did what he said. Yeah. And then stand-up saved his... And then he was there doing stand-up, and his wife saw him. And he was making a joke. And the joke was something along the lines of like,

I got, my wife is gone, it's okay, I've still, not completely her, I've still got her head in the freezer or something like that. And he just sees the silhouette, he says, he describes up the head that he was just saying, he was in the freezer, and he's like, holy shit. And she's looking at him, like, what is happening? And he goes to the bar after him, they have a talk,

and she goes, she goes, that guy who was on stage, that was the guy I married. Wow. That is wild. Wow. And then they started having an affair. And did that say? The Maves the marriage in real life.

Because usually stand-up ruins marriage. I know. That's crazy. In fidelity? No, with each other, meaning they started to have a liaison. Yeah. That was so hot in the attic at the house. Remember?

Yeah. That's all the movie. It was a cozy place. Oh, yeah. Why'd you guys have to film at Grand Central? What was that crucial? You guys walked by the whispering tunnel. Why not just a random train?

Yeah, because you had to go back to what? Long Island. Because we want to, leaving the city and going to the suburbs. And so, you know, that was important. They walk by the whispering tunnel. That's my favorite place in New York. To show that Alex was now living in the city. He said whispering tunnel.

I said, that's what you call your asshole. It's okay. We can go on. Welcome to be in the end with Jordan. We don't have much time left. We don't have much time left. No, we do. We have so much time.

In our lives, is what I'm saying. Oh, oh. No, we do. Unless you know. What do you know? It's going to be bad. Should I smoke another? No.

Don't rip another sake. Yes. I mean, considering how much time we have. New news. Yeah. I've been unaware of. He's going to die. Anyway, you were talking to Bishop.

Yeah. And I just loved this story. It was just such a great story. And did you, like, give him a bunch of money for it or something? I did not give him money. Personally. He just is like, you can do this. Well, we said, I said Mark Chappell, who is my writing partner,

he and I were talking about he said yeah I know that story it's amazing and I said I think that I had this sort of connection now with John through her friend we met I think that we could pitch him the idea of us writing the movie so like two months later I was back in the U.S. And I went back to I went to London and we sat with John for a few days and sort of talked about the idea of us writing this movie and then he told us the story I just found the recordings the other day of all the recordings from that week of just had him keep telling the story just so we could get more and more details.

He would retell the story just for hours. And so then we took it out. We pitched it. And we originally set it up at Focus. And that fell apart. And then COVID and blah, blah, blah. And then we ended up back at Searchlight, who had initially heard it. And they were like, are you guys still working on that?

But again, we like that idea. Oh, this is all the way before COVID. I met John in September of 2018. Wow. That's what he told me that story. Is that normal? for things to take that long. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, yes and no. There's no rhyme or reason to it. It's sometimes, well, what's funny is it took, that took forever. So that was September of 2018. We started pre-production in January of 2025. And we released in October. I mean, you know, not released, but went to the New York Film Festival.

That's quick. That was quick. But that was Bradley editing like a madman, right? Yeah, and it was shooting really quickly, Bradley in post, and just, crushing it and then getting it out. So like it was years and years and years and then sprint for a year. Yeah, it seemed so fast.

People were like, you're in a movie. It's going to come out in like a year and a half. And I was like, I think it's coming out right now. Yeah. It was crazy. I think it's out. Yeah. It was crazy.

We just rap last night. I think it's in theaters today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was so fast. It was really efficient. It was very cool. Is that not, but that's not normal. No, that's not normal.

That was, that was, yeah, it was just the way the timing went. And I think that they, wanted it to, you know, they had this opportunity. They thought, okay, well, here's this window that we could maybe get it out and get out by the end of the year and be one of those movies.

It's kind of like an end of the year movie, all that kind of stuff. I saw it in Angelica. Oh, you did? I know. That's the spot to see it. Yeah. That's my favorite theater in the city.

So to see you like on that was very, very neat. It's so old school. Yeah. Yeah. It's so nice. I fainted hard in that theater. You went? I fainted in that theater.

It gets really hot in there. It gets hot, and I was seeing a horror. movie and I just hit the deck. That's the thing about Angelica. I mean, I love it too. And I think that there's a lot of nostalgia around our memories about it, you know, in times in our lives. Yeah.

It reminds me of being my 20s, like in the 90s in New York. Like, but then we went to a couple of screenings there for this movie and did some Q&As. And I was reminded of like, it's hot and it's, those theaters are kind of long and narrow. Yeah. But it's cool. Yeah. I do love it.

I mean, I love the Angelica. Angelica is my favorite taking. And when I go there, I say, I'm taking in a film. Yes. It makes me feel fancy. Going to the island and I'm going to take in a film. You just refer to it as going to the cinema. Going in the cinema.

Even more. I'm going to the cinema this evening and I'm bringing my leftovers from my dinner and I will eat it in the back. Do you bring food from outside to movies? Yes. Do you? Do you, Jordan? In my pockets?

Like candy? Yeah. No, no. Not a sub. I used to bring, like I have a backpack all the time. And I bring Chinese food. I, crazy. One time.

I used to do it all the time and eat Chinese food like as if I was in my living. Oh, dude. I ate bacon-wrapped asparagus when I saw is this thing on. And one time I ate falafel when I saw the new Ninja Turtles, bad idea. Stinky. Yeah. Yeah. Chinese food.

It's mayhem. Yeah, it's mayhem. I used to do it. Well, like a whole roast duck. Like what were you eating? No, not roast duck. No, no, like a general. I'm not.

Like Lomain. Like Lomaine. I opened up. I was on like a, I was on like a. weird nutritionist diet, protein, all that bullshit. And I opened up hard-boiled eggs on a plane recently. And there was almost a riot. And I felt really bad.

But once I had cracked it, it was over. Dude. What? You don't get to talk. You have the farts that smell like rotten eggs and you fart a plane every time and you get in trouble every time. I've been better with it. Okay.

Well, don't talk to me about it. I have photos on my phone of people covering up with a blanket because of my guess. I do like the... What are you going to say? Yeah. I've been better with it. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It doesn't suggest that it's stopped. Yes, but I have been better. I had the other day I was on a flight back to L.A. And somebody, I'm just like, what the fuck, man? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's crazy. That's him. He was probably there. He did just go to L.

I was waving at you and you ignored me. Are you flying everywhere right now? I was, yeah, yeah, yeah. And no stops at home or going back for one day at a time? Yeah, uh, it. Yeah, I mean, sort of brief, you know, because I'm living, I live now kind of part-time here in New York again. Nice. Half here and half in L.A. now.

That's great. It's pretty good. Kids are there. Kids are L.A. My big kids are, yeah, it's a whole. Yeah. We don't need to get into that. Tell me, tell me their social security numbers and how they feel emotionally right now.

Do they need a place to stay? They're so good. How long, when was your first cigarette? This morning? Or ever. Your smoking? Did the movie get you smoking? No, no.

I thought that was so cool when you're at your table, ripping a cig because nobody smokes in movies anymore. I felt so seen. That was amazing. Thank you. I do it. I felt so good. I don't smoke.

I generally don't smoke indoors. I rarely. This was just out of anxiety. You've gotten so many sexy cigarettes. photos taken of you since the movie. They want you with the cigarette. I think so. I think I've seen quite a few. Of me smoking, like in the wild?

Or just from the movie? Like a photographer taking a photo of you, smoking a cigarette in a hotel or something like that. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Was that your choice to smoke in the film? Like, we're going to get this or like,

because I truly cannot remember the last time I saw a movie with someone smoking. And it pisses me off when I see people vape. my mom sent me an email oh love an email from a mom it's brutal how about the text that says

I just sent you an email and you're like fuck anytime no no I've had I haven't had that but when you I've had that from a friend before yeah a friend saying hey just sent you an email like oh fucking this is not good it's brutal it's the worst feeling but but my mom sent me like she'll forward me

some of her friends reviews of our film. To let you know how she feels. Basically. She never says, I love it, just let her friends speak. And often they're often back-ended compliments. Yeah.

You know, I didn't think he had it in him or like that's so like it may. But and then a lot of like, we liked it. He was, he did a great job. Something, again, very back-handed. And then not sure I liked the film. Yeah. But he's great. He's right.

Not sure I like the film. A lot of F words. And when did people start smoking again? How dare they? And I'm like, grow up. That's every old person who saw my special. It's not for me, but I'm proud of her. I got so many it's not for me.

I'm like, yeah, dude, it's me talking about wanting to fuck my dad. It's not for you. It's not for you to show your fucking great aunt. It's about you having courage to say that. Yeah, exactly. It's for the three people in the world who feel the same as me. How about when they change? the thing on the folder where I wrote

I'm gay on your folder and they AIed it to say small penis? Well not AI. What did they do? Just computer. Special effects. Special effects. They did it was my handwriting. Yes. Special effects. That's all I could focus on in the movie. It's how crazy that was.

How'd they do that? Special effects. Special effects. Computer. That was really easy. That took like half an hour. Is there other special effects then we? A couple little things here and there, yeah. Really? Yeah, that I won't allude to. Continuum. moody stuff?

No. A couple little tweaks here and there. We were going to do at one point Bradley was going to do the cut was going to be different. There were so many different cuts by the time right up until three days before New York Film Festival. The weekend before Bradley kept changing so much of it. He's just such a month.

I've said it before and I mean he has such an incredible capacity to do like his brain is insane. And he wanted to maybe have a different, long way of explaining that he wanted me to maybe have me show up, get on the bed at the end of the first set, but in a different place and move that scene. And so they were going to shoot. I was going to go over to John the effects guy, and he was going to light, we were going to shoot this past summer a month before the movie came out, went to New York. He was going to shoot me lying on the bed wearing a different t-shirt and then put, put, put, it in. Whoa.

Yeah, yeah. So they can do shit like that. That's so sick. Move your arm. Like a couple times like they move my arm down and stuff like that. Wow. Weird. Yeah, man.

That's crazy. Wow. Sick, right? That's really nuts. There was one point where I was on stage and Bradley Cooper was like, don't take a step back because I'm going to have the camera really close to you. And I got so panicked and looked at him and he was like, actually just do whatever you normally do it.

I was like, thank you. The camera's so close, right? The camera was so close camera shots. I'm like, oh my God, how did you deal with that? That was like day one. He was like, just don't back up because you'll wreck my billion dollar camera and you'll step on Bradley Cooper, who is me? And I was like, and he was like, forget it. Forget it.

I said anything. And I was like, okay. I liked it. You go first. You have. No. You have. No, we're killing Jordan.

Yeah, staggering is fine. No more. No more would be great. I would love no more. I smell like smoke all day. my therapist worries about me. It reminds me of my father. He's dead, by the way.

You want to fuck him. Dead. So wouldn't, I would fuck him, but he's dead. And he would have lived if he didn't smoke inside, both of you. Okay. You smoke outside. I'm sorry? Do you have a live parents?

I do. I have two alive parents. Oh, look who's good guy. Yeah, yeah. Rub it in our face. What about you? Dead dad. Dead dads.

Dead dads. How long ago for each? 33 years. He's been dead 33 years. years? Yeah. I'm sorry. I was eight.

Wait, how old were you when he died? I was eight. Well, you just brought up your dead dad for no reason. What? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, thanks. I am hurting. I'd feel better if we smoked.

Your turn. Now I don't feel so bad. The fact that you use that so blatantly. No, no, I'm fucking around. Yeah. What can you do? Dead dad, head touch. How old were you when you're dead died?

23. Okay. I'm sorry as well. It's totally fine. I'm totally fine with it because it's been a lot of time that's past. That's what someone says it's not totally I'm in it. Of course. Ian celebrates every anniversary

of his first thought that his dad had about dying the day his dad died, the anniversary of the death that might have happened one day. He died horrifically when I was eight years old. It's going to have long-lasting effects. Yes. Did he die horrifically? Yes. Yeah, yeah. He died in an accident and it worked. He worked

on a train yard. Yeah, yeah. That's... Not a joke. But that's... Yeah. Fine. See, doesn't it feel good to say that? It's totally fine, man. It's good. But you have a live parents.

That's nice. Yeah. Congrats. I don't think anybody's ever congratulated. Are they married? They are. That's huge. Oh, that's so cool.

Yeah, they're in their, uh... How long? They're in their 80s. Uh, how, what year are we, 2026? My mom is about to be 80, 61 years, something like that? They're married 61 years? Are they happy?

That's so cool. Can they hold each other's hands? Do they sleep in bed and night like two little otters? No. No, no, no, no, no. But they're, yeah, it's like 63 years, something like that. That's awesome. That's crazy.

That's really cool. I never think that that actually exists. I think I have a constant notion of my head that relationships can't last longer than like four to five years. I think they're going to say months. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, 45 years. Yeah, I mean. I feel like relationships now, just for me, I'm like, if I get involved with someone,

I think I'm going to do it 110% and just go and not think like, this is for the rest of my life and just love with everything I have and then let it either burn down or stay afloat, but like, are you actively looking for a relationship? I am. I'm looking to settle and be with someone. You are. For sure. Okay.

Yeah. So first thing, don't mention. mention the guest room. Yeah, don't talk about the guest room. Or the other guest room. Or the other, yeah. That's an office. Yeah.

But isn't that a cool thing? I have a house with a guest room. I wouldn't mention any of this. That's also a great cool. Okay. So step one. Do not be who I am. Step two.

Yes. Lie. That's really, it's all the steps. Yeah. Okay. It's 100% of it. All right.

Good to know. Have you ever done any steps before? Like 12 steps? Yeah. I'm 10 years over. Are you really? I knew you were. How?

Talking about perspective. Are you sober? I am. No way. Yeah. Well, that's great. Step guy? Nice.

Run to bill. Yeah. That's cool. I'm a step girl, but not for a lot. Really? I was going to ask before, yeah. Oh, that's so interesting. How long do you have?

Well. I think that's also why I'm like such a. No, I don't get into, yeah, yeah. I don't get into talking about, it's a long story, but yeah, yeah. Understand. Yeah. I don't get too. deep into it anymore. I made a mistake once

of talking about it years ago, so I don't really where people get mad because it's anonymous? No, no, no, no, no, just because it's because then people follow up. Like, of course. I talked years ago about how I was and then I, and then I drank again, and then it was like literally like the next day, Daily Mail

said, oh my God. And it hits the bottle. Oh, Jesus Christ. No, I didn't, anyway. Arnette is human. Yeah, yeah. Like, that's so frustrating. So I don't like to talk about it. generally yeah i can imagine yeah yeah it's uh that's so funny you picked up on that yeah i don't know

for me it's uh the way to be well it's also comedians are like that too where we're constant it's almost like we spend the seven hours of day that we're not doing work trying to figure out a way to look at our lives in a way that doesn't have us kill ourselves like even if it's like i do jiu jitsu i do it's like meditate it's like every comic is yeah and and it's also sort of the fuel of what you do right? It's the thing that that's sort of fuels the engine of creativity. As you're trying to figure it all out, you can, I think, suspect

I'm not a stand-up, but that the idea that that kind of is the thing that you're trying to work out, who you are, where you fit, all that kind of stuff. And that's where... Yeah, that's where the creativity comes from. Right. And seeing it from a different. So when people go like, oh,

comics are all like really depressed or they're all... That used to be the thing people used to say. I'm like, no, I don't think so. I think that they're just... People who were asking themselves a lot of questions. and then that, you know, from that comes jokes. Maybe. Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of it is the, when you, like, are considering what the point of everything is,

it can go into a dark zone because you don't have the ignorance of being like, what life is, is just perpetuating, you know, is creating a child and then producing food for that child. I think when you're a comic and you're overthinking everything, it can lead you to be like, wait, actually, nothing does matter. But it doesn't inherently mean it has to be depression. But I think that's an avenue. I've been trying to get outside of that and like taking up skiing.

That's something I like to do now where I go and I'm not like thinking of comedy. Because like I learned during COVID this does not care about me. And if I make this much everything away, I need a life outside of it. Who will learn enriched. And I feel like that's making me so much better. the more I'm going to concerts or staying at a friend's house for the night or like going and skiing. Experiencing, having life experiences. Yeah, yeah, instead of being so closely tied to this thing that couldn't give a fuck about me.

Yeah, I'm with you on that. Yeah. I try not to, I've done a few interviews in the last little while where they ask you about like career and stuff. And I probably should be more, I mean, I'm busy and I have stuff that I'm doing. but it's not, and I do it, and I sort of give myself to it, but it's not my raison d'est, you know what I mean? Like, it's not the, I'm Canadian, so I can, I can, it's not who I am.

And I think that as I've gotten older, it's completely shifted what I, what are the things that are sort of most important, it's not career. For me, it's kids and everything else kind of goes after that. and I try not to let myself also be the effective circumstance. What do you mean? Meaning like I can't, I can't only be happy. I was saying to somebody like,

I can only be happy if it's a sunny, if I say like, oh, I'm only happy if it's a sunny day, then what happens when it rains? Right. You know, I have to. If you're not working, you have to be. I have to find my own joy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not let myself be just reactive to what's been the world around me. I'm worried that if I have kids, I will, my career will be gone. I'm worried that, I'm worried that having, yeah, Because I'm worried that my passion for the career is kind of fulfilling some sort of childless woman void where I'm like I have to I have to perform and I have to get out there and I have to do all these things. But if I had a kid, I'd be like, for what? Yeah, but I feel like a kid would inform your outlook in a way that would be so interesting to see your perspective shift and how you view being a mother and having children through the lens. There's no way I'm going to go into Utah for four days when I have a bit. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not, I'm not going to have to drive to good. Yeah, but you bring your dog. You don't think you'd bring the kid? I don't know. I was going to make that point, but I was giving her a second to work away through it. The dog eats shit. You know what I mean? The dog, I throw a bag of food in the thing

and we eat chicken on a floor of a hotel. Let me just say this. I think that it's hard to know. Like you, maybe today it doesn't make sense. Yeah. But you never know. But did you feel like it went down with acting?

Were you like, now that I have kids, why am I doing this? A million auditions and chasing this. It did put it all in perspective. Yeah. In the best way. Yeah, I think it's good. I'm a slow learner.

So I've got a long way of doing a lot of shit and making a lot of bad choices. I've made tons of bad choices in my life. Tons of bad career choice, like tons. And ultimately, who fucking cares. Yeah. You know? Truly. Yeah.

I don't, you know. It's also funny because it's not, I don't know any of your bad choices. But for you, it's everything. You know what I mean? That's true, too. Well, that's the other thing. Nobody gives a shit. Yeah.

We all think we live in this world. We're like, and really actually nobody gives a shit. So you're pro-kids. Yeah, big time. Because it reduces the narcissism. I think you'd. Yeah, well, certainly for that, yeah, yeah. I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone with children that's not pro-kids.

My mother. My mother is like, do not have kids. She is a anomaly. But like, you know, like I said to Ian, he said he's got to go to Austin today. Yeah. And I was like, I know how long you guys do this? because my son gets out of school at three. So, like, you know, I just got to make sure. Yeah, let's wrap it up.

Well, we're good. A couple more six. Yeah. And so, like, that's, it just changes everything. Yeah. But in the best way. And that is, like, the highlight of your day is going and picking up the kid and seeing. Yeah.

Yeah, that's awesome. It's the best. Like, waking up, yeah, waking up today with my son and him being in a good mood and being sleepy-eyed and, like, in his bed and, you know, It's like the fucking greatest, man. That's so cool. I can appreciate that, and I love hearing that from fathers and friends that have kids. And I think that's so beautiful and amazing.

I just don't see myself doing that. And I... Today. Today, sure, sure. Today, living in the now, you know, and I have my own fears and thoughts and everything. I'm sure. And your experience as well. Yeah.

And not to quote your. dad, but holy fucking train. Where the fuck did that come from? You fucking big forehead asshole? Jesus Christ. How many door frames do you have to adjust to get through? You tall tree trunk, motherfucker?

The hell is this? He's very touchy about the dad's stuff in case you can't tell. No, no. Oh, no, no. No, joke, joke. I love you. You should have kids. Can I tell you something, in all honesty?

Yeah. that room is no longer offered to you. So think about what you've done. You told you, you were right. I know, I told a joke, and then that'll get you off. And then that'll get you off. And then he'll release you.

A whole bits aside, again, I'll say the same thing to you that I said, Sure. Today, that's how you feel today. You don't know a week from now. And also, when it happens, you'll go, holy shit. This is, I can't believe I made this shift. I can't believe I thought that I couldn't do it. I thought that the way my life is.

I blah, blah, blah, blah. And you'll be like, oh, no, no, no. I want to be the guy. I want to be your thing. I want to watch the woman carry the baby and then birth it and then have to milk it. And I want to be the man that watches it, bleary. I'd get out of their bed. That's what I want.

And that. I think you're talking about something else. What do you mean? I don't know. I'll tell you what she is talking about. Something we can discuss on part two. You come back. We'll digest.

Dysect. Huh? What? I want to be. I want to be the father of a child. The mother, I feel like everything gets torn apart and it leaches off your body and it ruins you from the inside out. Because you have a horrific experience with your own mother that you're projecting on this. No, no, no, no.

It's hard for women. It is hard for women to give birth. Well, of course. It sounds amazing to be a dad. That is truly what I want. I would love to be like the educator and the noble person. We'll have your husband dying. You can be both.

There you go. I've thought about having a little rat, a little feral rat, a little feral rat, to them. Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. It is, obviously, it's so different. I can only, I only know my experience as a dad. So I know it's much, obviously much different for women. But, and I can't speak to that.

But it's way better. And I won't. I'm going to do it. I'm going to stop using condoms and do it as if I use condoms. He's pregnant. He's having a kid. Ape or chimp. We weren't supposed to talk about that.

It's fine. It's fine. I'm having a son in July. My first kid. Okay. Congrats, man. You're first. My first, yeah.

Oh, that's so good. I'm very excited. One of many. He's going to be here. Huge and stupid. I can't wait. God willing. Well, let's wrap it up.

What do you say? Something Jordan doesn't do. What? Wrap it up. Oh. Condom. They don't. I should.

That's a good callback. Okay. You should. We're going to do plugs. And are we doing plugs? Yeah, go. Yeah. Watch.

Guess first. Watch is this thing on. I'm the star. Out in theaters. Jordan, Judge, if you're, you haven't seen it. Well has a great cameo in it. Yeah, I do.

It is. I have sex with him. It's graphic. It's all on screen. Very graphic. Yeah. Really intense stuff. So you should go see it.

Is there anything you want to plug your podcast? I do a podcast. It's so good. I hate podcasts. Yeah, it's called Smartless. I do it with a couple of my buddies. I do want to say my buddy, I have a buddy Clint in Alabama. This is not a bit.

He's your biggest fan. Really? Yeah. And when he heard you were doing, when he heard you were doing that you were in the movie, he was so stoked. He's like, man, I love her. She's the greatest.

Oh, my God. That is my people is the Alabama. He has a trucker hat worn worn out trucker hands. He's a sound engineer. Nice. Yeah. He's a cool dude. I've worked with him for 15, over 15 years.

Are you going to be in Alabama soon? If Clint wants me there. Wait, am I? No. But I will be. Are you going on tour there? I will be doing a bus tour. buy tickets

Houston, New Orleans, Atlanta, Asheville, Charlotte, Louisville, Cincinnati, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Toronto, Boston, and Port Smith. Come out. And where can they get to you? You're on a bus. I'm on a bus. And it's called what?

Busted up tour. Have you done the extended bus before? No. I mean, I've done it with Segorov for a couple of days. Is it bad? Is it scary? Yeah, it's gross. Yeah.

Yeah, it's awful. The worst. Yeah, but I'm kind of gross. You think it's fun? Yeah. I'll tell you what I'm not done with flying back. Like what I'm doing right now is like I fly out Thursday. I come back Sunday.

I have two days to go to therapy and take a shower and then I fly out again. And I would rather just get it all done in two weeks and then have three weeks in New York. Does that make sense? So you get your tour, you get your promoter. You build that into your field. Who your people? Who you went? WM.

WM. WM. Yeah. First problem. We'll talk. We'll talk. What do you think of CIA? JK.

That's what's up? They gave me this Henry Rollins Shepherd Fairy print when I signed with them. Isn't that nice? You know, I will say this is very nice. And every time I think of Henry Rollins, I think, who I admire as an artist,

that guy is just like, is there anybody more hardcore than Henry Rollins? Incredible. Incredible. I was just, but years ago, for many years now, I've been the voice of GMC trucks for many, many, many years. And the guy I replaced in 1998 was Henry Rollins. What?

Yeah, he was the last guy before me, 1998. Oh, but you didn't, like, they weren't like, Henry, you're out, Will, you're in. No, I think that he had a contract, he'd done it for a couple of years. Right. And then they, you know, how it goes, they switch out. And then I started in December of 98, and I've been. Because if you were to beef, with Henry Rollins, I would have had your back up until about 58 minutes of the podcast.

Dude, can you imagine how quickly Henry Rollins would just decimate him? Oh my God. Good God. Good God. That's crazy. He was the voice. He was the voice at GMC trucks for, yeah, I think a couple of years. He was also a cop and I think the chase with Charlie Sheen.

Do you remember the movie? It's always funny to see him pop up in movies because you don't expect it at all. I like to see him in more movies. I like Henry Collins a lot. He's great. Yeah, he's cool. Like he's like legit cool because he's authentic. Yes.

And he stands by everything he says. Yeah. And he's always been on the right side of things. Yes. Which is very, very rare. It is very rare. Yeah. And I admire that.

And speaking on the right side of things, you should be on the right side of history and see me live. Ianfinance.com for tickets. Next weekend, I'm in Dayton, Ohio. Then Portland, Maine, Seattle, Washington, Portland, Oregon, Baltimore, Maryland, Nashville and then Huntsville, Alabama. Shout out Clint, make the drive. And then I'm opening for Bert on his bus tour.

And I'm going all over. Ianfinance.com for tickets. Ian do, an odd guy doing odd jobs. My travel show out with YMH, YouTube.com slash Ian Fightance Comedy. What are you giggling about? I called my agent and I was like, they have me going to Utah or to Phoenix and then back to New York and then back to Utah. And I called them to be like, hey, I don't feel like I should work on Friday

because there's like this whole strike and like maybe I should just not do Phoenix, whatever. And somehow this happens every time I talk to them. Somehow I added shows to both weekends and I'm now staying in Utah for the entire week, like not coming back at all. And I was like, you guys are good. It was crazy. Oh, they gave you the rope atopo. They gave me the rope atopoes and now I live in Utah.

And they probably, by the time you got off the phone, you thought it was your idea. Yes. And they were like, well, I'm glad we talked about this. And I got off the phone. And the person who was with me was like, really good work, Jordan. And I was like, fuck. It was crazy.

So I'll be in Utah and Phoenix. Come out to those shows. I added shows. When does this come out? Is it out now? When do you want it to come out? That's how are you out? Could come out.

Next week, two weeks, three weeks, 200th episode. We don't know. We don't know if it is. We don't know. Given your demeanor the whole time, I'm assuming never. I'm not that lucky.

Oh, hell! I got God. I got Arnettid. Thank you guys for tuning. Patreon.com slash Beanie and Pod for bonus and early episodes. We love you. Thank you so much.

And honestly, thank you. This was so wonderful. So surreal, I've been such a fan of yours for so long. All jokes aside, really appreciate you coming by and hanging out with us. Thank you,

super fun. Yeah. Best press junket of the tour. Is yet to come. What do you? Thank you, man. Okay, thank you.