Bein' Ian With Jordan - Our Best Work W/Peyton Ruddy | Bein' Ian with Jordan #200

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

One of the best up and coming comedians on earth Peyton Ruddy stops by The Den to throw Ian some movie pitches, talk about their Comics Unleashed experiences, & what makes relationships special. SUB TO OUR PUNCHUP FOR EXCLUSIVES! All of our dates AND bonus episodes are now available in one convenient place, all for the same price as the Patreon! Visit punchup.live/beinianwithjordan Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast - Buy 2 months of BlueChew Gold & get your 3rd month FREE when you use promo code SKA @ http://BlueChew.com/ - Chubbies is here to keep you comfy and looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code FIENDCLUB at http://chubbiesshorts.com/FIENDCLUB ! #chubbiespod - Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% off with code FIENDCLUB at http://takeultra.com #UltraPouches #ad Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Follow Peyton! https://instagram.com/peytonruddycomedy Produced by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, everybody, eInfinance.com for all my road dates. May 22nd and 23rd, Albany, Funnybone, and Albany, New York, June 5th and 6th, Cleveland, Ohio. Cleveland hilarities, one of the best clubs, excited to be there. June 10th, June 12th, 13th, Detroit, Michigan, Mike dropped Detroit. And then I'm going to Syracuse, New York, Appleton, Wisconsin, Greenville, South Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Winnipeg, Brookfield, Wisconsin, Saratoga, New York, Charlotte, North Carolina, Dallas, Texas, Ianfidance.com for tickets,

and check out Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs out on YouTube.com slash Ian Fightance Comedy. It's my travel show. It's like dirty jobs meets daytime insomniac, meets a feral rat, learning how to do different jobs, hanging out with different Americans and having a different fun, wholesome, wild, wacky kind of time.

I love you. Enjoy the episode. See me live, God damn it. Telling jokes and having smokes, riding bikes all through the night. It's a wild ride when you're being in. Coffee ice no matter what. Now you know he likes it in the butt.

It's a wild ride when you're being in. And life is shit, but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live. like to live alive being Ian with Jordan Hi everybody welcome back to another episode of the pod

Be in Ian with Jordan Jordan is out on assignment in San Francisco and I'm holding it down and we're down to clown with our fantastic hilarious guest today Peyton How do I say the last name?

Finance. Peyton finance. We are long lost cousins. Have you ever had like long lost family members reach out to you? Because I recently had someone shout out if you're watching. I appreciate it. But these people came out to my show and we're telling everyone there my cousin. And I never met them in my entire life.

Were they black? All right. They were Asian. Cut it out. Payton Sir Boston. I don't know if you got that out immediately. I thought that'd be funny. I'm from Chicago.

I thought that would be a good little joke. Ian didn't like it. I liked it and I just used a different word. Anyway, leave it in. Leave it in. Leave it in. Wham,

wow, wow, wow. Yeah, it was like super nice, but then like a great uncle's son reached out and was like, your cousins are coming.

And I'm like, what? Right. And, uh, you know, They keep texting and I haven't called back. And I'm just like, you know, they're asking for my grandmother's recipes.

Are they really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You never met these people? No. I think what I was like a child. I doubt they're your cousins. But they, what did you say? I said, I doubt they're your cousins.

I mean, they, they knew me, I guess, when I was a child. I don't remember. And then now they've gotten to know me through my comedy. And I'm like, boy, what a difference. Yeah. Sorry. Jesus Christ. I don't know what's happening.

I like her you're like, let me not cough into the microphone. You go, let me put it on the cancer. Let me send it your way. Yeah, interesting. Has that ever happened? No, definitely have some people from like school. Have you ever had like a falling out with people and then they reach back out? Have you ever had falling out?

Fallings? Yeah, sure, yeah. Out with people? Yeah, you got friends that just, uh, just, I don't know. It's very weird. I think every person goes through that in, like, their 20s. There's, like, a friend that you're friends with. You're like, this is my fucking guy or girl.

And then it's just like, it just goes. Yeah. Like, out of nowhere. I think I have a lot of friendships where I'm still friends with my friend. My three, like, best friends since we were, like, 11, were still buds and we make trips together and everything. And then I'm friends with my friends from high school. school and this like group chat has kept us together and everything. And then each individuals will like see each other and talk on the phone and

then you know like friends from college and stuff. But it's like I feel like I don't know about you, but I have a lot of friendships where we kind of go different ways. And then when we link back up, there's no hard feelings or like, you never called me or whatever. And I think good friendships kind of go and then come back and go and like understand and everything. I totally agree.

Yeah. Yeah. I've had that. I have guys. that like, you know, that we know that the phone works both ways. Yeah. And they're just like, I'll see you when I see you. Yeah.

It is a very no hard feeling. Yeah. No hard feelings thing, which I appreciate. I think that's a good, a good guy who knows that I'm going my way. You're going your way for a bit. I know I will in some way always have you in my life. Yeah. So.

I'm bad. Unless, like, it's, dude, I work so much better on phone calls, text. I get, I mean, even I texted you yesterday. and was like, holy fuck. Like, someone will text me and I'll get overwhelmed. And then each day I'll think, I get to text them back. I get a text them back. Fuck, it's been so long.

Fuck, it's been so long. I'm a piece of shit. I guess I'll never see them again. And it's my fault. Yeah, yeah. I have that. I get that. But then you meet some people that, have you ever met someone that's had like a million

falling out with, fallings out with people? And they'll be like, this person sucks. And then that person and then this person and they did this. And I'm like, what's the common denom? Yeah, it seems like it's you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to tell you, I mean, I don't know if I'm going to be able to focus whatsoever. Is this overwhelming?

I love pretty much everything that is on the wall. And I'm just like, where did he get that? What draws? Let's play, where did he get that? Go ahead. Okay, I like that. What is the most focused thing that's drawing you in? I'm big on the slimers.

Slimers. I almost got a slimer tattoo in Austin like two weeks ago. Really? You're a huge Ghostbuster guy. I like Ghostbusters. Did you see the proton pack? Oh my God. No, I didn't.

Yep. Where did you get that? Spirit? Halloween? No. That has, Hasbro Plus. Oh,

or Hasbro Pulse? Yeah, it's That's fucking sick. Yeah, they keep doing these like replica packs. Yeah. And then you bid on, you have to bid and buy in on it before it's made. And then they're like,

okay, we have enough people to make these and then send them out. It's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I paid a lot of money for that. And then now they're selling on eBay for much cheaper. Is this from one or two? That's from afterlife.

Oh. The one that came out in like 2018, 2019, yeah. Yeah. That's actually a Leslie Jones worn. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's an expensive piece of film history. Instead of turning on, it's like,

it's like, I like it's just a vacuum. Yeah, straight up. I like that a lot. Dude, the female Ghostbusters, everybody gave it shit. And I thought it was so funny that so the Ghostbusters fandom,

I don't know if you know about it, but it's like some of it's super catty. And they have these. You're kidding me. They have these different. You're kidding. Well, dude, shout out Delco Ghostbusters.

They have different chapters. And it's all people that dress up and they do charity events. And so they raise. money for charities and these guys show up and everything. It's really great. They're all throughout the country. It's really nice. But there is like a subset that's super online and caddy.

And like I watched a guy disintegrate. He was in a documentary called Ghostheads. And he thought that he was like it. Because they focused a lot on him, but they focused on him because it was like he's given up his family. He's given up his job. But he was like,

it's because I'm the celebrity of the But I saw him crash out on pills and like a divorce on Facebook. And that was pretty cool. Yeah. But these guys, it was so funny to me when the female Ghostbusters came out because so many Ghostbuster fans are like, this is ridiculous. Women Ghostbusters, surely I believe in a hundred foot stay puff marshmallow man destroying the city.

But women scientists? Yeah. I just don't have the capacity to believe. I just can't get over the fact that Melosso MacArthur. is taking out ghosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I see that. I actually didn't see that one.

Really? I didn't see that or Frozen Empire. Empire. I didn't see it. I was first day movie theater, see them the second they came out. But I liked for, if it wasn't Ghostbusters,

I think the female Ghostbusters would have been great, but trying to keep it in canon was just like, but it also was like, Leslie Jones could have been great in it, but they just made her like, you got to be the loud subway, worker. It's like you couldn't have made her a scientist and Melissa McCarthy the subway worker. Yeah, that makes sense. A lot of this pod is rehashing things from 15 years ago.

That is my, that is my thing. Yeah. I'm totally into that man. Yeah, so this, a guy got me this slimer. He 3D printed it. That slimer I bought. Um, just like a candle or something? Or what is it? No, I wish it was a candle. This is a manure with cigarettes. Okay, gotcha. This is divine. Do you know divine? I do not know divine. One of John Waters' characters. Okay.

That's cool. Yeah, it's a very, it's a very stimulating backdrop. I like it a lot. I love the Skinnerd record. It's all sick. Yeah. But, yeah, if you cracked open my brain, this is what would be inside. For sure.

Yeah, me too. But yeah, I almost got, I was looking through. I got a tattoo the other day. I have a lot of tattoos in my legs. Really? Yeah. You don't start using as a tattoo guy. I also notice you're so clean shaven and tight, not tight net, but clean cut.

And then I'm like, you have arm hair. I expected you to be like a little dolphin. I'm a little, just completely hairless all over. A little beluga whale. God, never meet your hero. I know. I'm sorry, man. No, I'm cool.

I got arm hair. What tattooed you get? I got, um, Let me see if I can show you a picture. The jeans are too tight to pull up. I say take them off. Take off my pants. Take off your pants.

Take it off. So I was in Chicago and I got... God, enough with Chicago. You keep bringing up fucking Chicago, man. Get over it. That's a clip. I was in Chicago and I was getting a... Go.

Go, go. Wait, where was I? Oh, Chicago. Sorry. I was in Chicago and I was... And me and my family were hanging out. We were all like, oh, let's go get tattoos. And so we went and got...

We went to Taylor Street Tattoo. Shout out. And the guy, Keith Underwood, found out. He owns it. He's like a legend, whatever. And was like, you're a comic. I go, yeah. And he goes, dude, I'm writing a...

roast. He was doing a roast of Oliver Peck, the guy from Inkmaster. Long mustache. Toothpick. Yeah, toothpick Peck. So he's, uh, I wrote him like, I go, I'll come back tomorrow. He gave me a tattoo I got, uh, I'm a huge Mel Brooks fan. So I got a little thing on my leg. It says it's pronounced Frankenstein from Young Frankenstein.

I thought that'd be funny to get. Nobody likes it. So I got that and, uh, and it was like 200 bucks. And I'm like, all right. And then he, the next day he's like, come back, I'll give you some. So he just paid for the tattoo. And I wrote him some roast jokes. And then he goes.

$200 for a little bit of script. Yeah. Crazy. Go ahead. Yeah, you know, it is what it is. And actually, you know what? That's fair. It's a fair price.

Everybody charges different. I'm biased because the shop I go to. They really take care of me. But I think I've like earned it. So that's kind of the other thing. I was kind of a guy just coming in like from dinner. You know what? A lot of people.

Don't know. Yeah. This is all Hena. Really? No. Every two weeks. Every two weeks. Every two weeks, they paint me.

Man, I really want to see it. So then anyway, and then he owns a couple of shops in Austin. And he goes, you ever want to go? And so I went, I was going like the next week to film, to do Kill Tony. And I was like, I'm getting one. So he goes, and I brought my dad. What is Kill Tony? I don't know.

Kill Tony is, it's a show where you get, people go on stage and they do one minute of stand-up. And that minute can, like, it can change their life. Change your life. Okay, cool. Or it can just do nothing. It's hosted by, I mean, think of his name. Heinz, Clive. Tony.

Suprancliffe? Can you look it up? Tony what? Tony Soprancliff? Is that right? Now, Tony Hitchprano? Now, tell me, how much money do you make doing comedy? I don't think so.

In his house, Tony Hinchcliff is a hero. So, anyway. This is anti-gay discrimination. He looks at Red Band. He's like, this is my fucking main air. Red Band just after somebody's, like somebody's joke bomb, he's like, I just can't deal with the stillness of life, Tone. After he does a funny sound bite, he goes,

Don, do you hear what I said? I did a boing sound. Did you hear it? Anyway, so I brought my dad down there and my girlfriend, and I went and got Ted. He was free. So I was looking at a slimer. They had it in like a flash sheet.

The original idea was going to be a van. Hayland tattoo because I love Van Halen. Right. But the 1991 logo were kind of swoops, not the straight arrows, if you know what I'm talking about. And they were like, you want it kind of small, it's going to bleed if you want it that small.

It's going to look bad. We suggest you don't do it. So I go, okay, so I'm flipping through. I see slimer. I go, that'd be fun. Yeah. And then I'm looking it up and I go, now I got to get this one.

I got a jaws tattoo. I love jaws. And it's a little kind of... So that's what you got. That's sick. It's pretty cool. That's great. So wait, do you have a picture?

picture of the slimer of what that would have been no but it would have just looked like it would look like the one from dude you yeah cartoon you ever see johnny depths winona forever tattoo of course i would love to get that but slimer and it's a slimer forever i like that a lot i think you should get that i think i should where would you put it my neck yeah no dude i should shave my head up here and get a slimer you should do that because what Who's that hurting? You're always wearing a hat. No.

And if you're not, you have big hair. Like if I was... Oh! All right. Tell them large Mars. It would be a little... I forgot that it's not here.

But, uh... But yeah, so... That's sick. I might get Slimer and X. It's kind of fun. Yeah, that is fun. But Jaws, yeah, it's like my favorite movie, so...

I get that. I get Richard Dreyfusson Jalls all the time. Sure. You know? You ever done that for Halloween? No. Dude, it's just a Canadian tuxedo. My line would be...

And a beanie. I'm going to need a bigger dick. But that's on my dating profile. That's pretty good. Cut that. Cut that. Now, that and the Chicago line... No, keep it.

I think we're having lots of fun here today. I think we are, too, and I think every time we do, we should mention it. I think so. Look, I'm not saying, Jordan, not being here affects the energy of the episode, but I'm saying. There is something. It's funny because every month she gets a flow. And when she's not here, we flow. Exactly.

Just get a shout out. I love you. No, I love Jordan, too. I was, I didn't know she wasn't here today. I was excited. I was like,

my God, I get to come do this podcast. I know, I know. It was just you. Hmm. Now, this is fun.

I think we're having a good time. Thanks for coming. Anything you want to plug, let's, just wrap the episode. Just wrap it up immediately. Now, Peyton.

You have made a name for yourself by always putting out your best work. Certainly. Now, I feel that that is such a smart way to go about things because everybody will just say, this is your best work. I know. I have a lot of robots in the NPCs and the comments. But, dude, you're, I feel like you blew up with your, like, point of view whatever is like building those fake conversations.

Yeah. And then you went on Kill Tony and then you like there's some people that blow up and it's like, well, I don't know if they have the chops to fuck it or whatever, but you're like such a funny standup. I've quoted your, and I botched it, but your Black Lives Matter dating profile joke. Yeah. That is so fucking genius. Oh, thanks.

It's so great. And I'd like for you to look in the camera and just do the entirety of it. The craziest thing to me about Tinder is You ever make a profile It's strange Were you on Tinder for a while? Sure How'd you meet your chick?

She's a comic too I love your guys's relationship It's so fun and nice I love her Yeah I love her I love the She's so cool because I love

Posting about her And I'm just like I love my boo-boo I say that all the time I'm always posting making little post and she's she's cool with it I like that she's not like don't do this picture

I don't do that do you bring her on the road yeah for most of the things unless if she's got if she's doing something but for the most part she hasn't come with in a couple of months

she's been booked and shit so we had to like kind of go her the way no I mean it's a good problem to have obviously but I do like having someone with me so I mean I always bring her

I bring my buddy or you know I like when I was coming up I like when you try to get into like a club and they're like hey you're gonna be with this guy and then like oh he's bringing someone and I'm like why are they was fucking and now I'm like touring and I'm like

I could not bring someone bro it's so lonely you have to bring someone yeah and even when you bring someone it can still be lonely if it's like a buddy or whatever like having a partner with you is so great very nice really really fun it's great but I'm also I do think

it's important to be alone I think it's good to go to... I mean, I feel like anytime I'm in a room, even with a bunch of people, I'm still alone. 100%. Anyway, so, hey, you... Now... Let me try and cross my legs here.

Now. No, but I... I think that that's great that you and your girlfriend are like that. Give her a shout-out plug what people can check her on. Stephanie Robertson. Go check her on. out on everything.

She's on every... She's on every... Very funny as well. Very funny. She's on every major platform, so go follow her. Uh, great, great comic. Can't vouch for her enough.

Do you guys work together on some of, uh, the stuff you put out, like the front facing stuff? For sure. I mean, it's, I, we live together. So, like, in the morning,

I'll just, like, I film a new one every morning and most of the time, I don't have an idea yet. So it's me, like, pacing around the kitchen being like, what do you think about this? And then she's like,

yeah. And then I try it and I go, that's that, no, it's not good. So she, she's like, she does give me tags for the video and, or, uh, or films a lot of them, too. So she's like, yeah, I probably wouldn't be able to do them without her. Yeah. So, yeah, huge shout out. There's such a fun thing in relationships. Like, uh, I call it like girlfriend humor where you're just doing bits in the bed,

like in the morning or whatever to make each other laugh. And then sometimes you can take that, like, actually turn it into something. For sure. Like, that's so fun, like being so comfortable with someone that you can. like dance or be silly in this like crazy thing. And then you're like, oh, actually that's kind of, that could actually be a thing. Yeah. You know.

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be in Ian with Jordan sent you. Enjoy the show. Yeah, I do like that a lot. Yeah, I was trying to think there was something that something was said recently that has made it into my act. But yeah, it is just so true being like,

even like when you're just, just like, I don't even know how to put this, just the way that like. Well, I feel like stand up the goal is to be so comfortable on stage. Obviously we're like heightened versions of ourselves, but you want to be on stage as comfortable and regular as you are in real life. And when you're with a partner that you feel that way with, everything comes down and you can be like silly and fun with that humor.

Right. And then I feel like that's a good way to like, take certain things and then put it on the stage. For sure. You know. Yeah. Are you single? Yeah.

Yeah. How long? Well. Uh, recently single. Oh, really? Yes. Okay. I'm sorry.

Yeah. When was this? Uh, a recently talked in there? Uh. A couple of days ago. A couple of weeks ago. She seems to keep calling, and I don't... Well, you do a podcast with her.

Constantine. Yeah, I guess we've been broken up. Today is the first day we've been broken up. We're getting back together tomorrow for a couple hours. I call podcasting with Jordan dating. I'm like, sometimes I have a girlfriend. Yeah. So, okay, well, that sucks, though.

Sorry to hear that she can't call. Oh, it's shitty. It fucking sucks. Did you break up with her? No. Do you think I'd be acting this way if I broke up with her? You know what? Forget it.

Let's move on. Yeah. That's so funny because I say that to myself in the mirror every day. Forget it. Oh, what do you know? She just texted me. Really? Leave me alone.

Leave me alone, but also don't. What are you doing on that device? I just got a voicemail from collections. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's great. Great. Yeah.

That's awesome. Is it great when you finally start to do well, but the government or collections agencies aren't respectful of it? Well, they, so I moved out of my apartment in Austin. It's a city. And I thought you lived in a guy named Austin's ass. James just cut the whole thing up. Sorry. She told me to say.

Oh, he's on the toilet. noticed it, that's fun. Yeah, you got three fun ones over there. I made this one. Really? Do you catch them? Cologne. That's awesome.

Claw them. You actually made that? Yeah. Yeah, it's actually a replica of my ex-girlfriend. I love you. Not anymore. I can't stop. Any more, but I should.

No, we were at... I don't know. All right. I was in Austin And then I moved like super Like I broke my lease And then is a man's ass Okay go ahead

So you broke your lease Yeah Me and my girlfriend I was here actually When I realized I had to leave Because I was touring too much I was like a door guy At the mothership

And And I was like Oh we gotta go Like because I don't So where do you live now? I live in Chicago Oh you moved back to Chicago I mean I'm moving here in a few months

Oh get out of here Yeah Whoa. Yeah. So we can hang. Seats open for you. Really? Hey!

I don't know. You got to wear a wig. Really? I would do that. If Jordan, anytime... Wait, that's a great... That's a good gig. Just be like, Jordan's out this week.

I will get a wig. Yeah. What if I'm Jordan? I mean, that'd be incredible. That's not bad. Yeah. James, what do you think about that? I'm in.

I think that's a good idea. Pop off in the comments below if you think Peyton should wear a wig. If you replace me to... Jordan Be Jordan But yeah So we We had to

Break the lease And anyway So they didn't let us know They called me Like on Christmas Eve Or the day before They were like Hey

You owe like one more Month of rent I'm like Okay I go I'm in my portal Right now If my apartment

Doesn't say That I owe anything So I don't know Like you're Like where you pay your rent On line Oh It's called like a portal

Or whatever You were like So far ahead In the future And I'm like Um, looks like I'm paying it. No, I just sent it via portal. I'm sitting here with a slimer tattoo and my rent fully paid.

Um, but no, they, they, they said, okay, well, don't pay anything yet. Let us go figure it out. And they never called me back. And then they sent me my, uh, my girlfriend an email like last two weeks ago. And they were like, hey, you owe $7,000 to the, and I was like, what? Jesus. Um, and then they were like, oh, wait. We messed up.

That's not right. So now it's now it's way dead. It's not, it's just like a month of rent. Yeah. So I'm like, okay, thank God.

Because I was fucking like eight, seven, eight thousand dollars. It's fucking nuts. So anyway, now they're calling me. And like, hey,

you gotta pay this. Oh, I thought they were like, hey, you want to hang out? My old landlord, he was the shit. And I would go

pay rent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I lived here since 2007, and he owned a bunch of buildings on the block. And he owned this huge beer distributor across the street. So we used to pay rent and walk out with like a keg. And then like I spent, I mean, dude, the woman at the register knew more about me than friends of mine because I'd spent so much time there like buying booze and like talking with them and hanging out. And I remember I took my buddy there to pick up some beer.

And the woman was like, so do you take your exam? to get certified to teach yet and my buddy was like, I didn't know you were doing that I was like, oh, just any of she and I kind of go, we see each other every day. Yeah. And he would, he sold that, blah, blah, blah. But then he'd always like invite me to like dinner

in the Bronx and everything and I'd bring him to like the comedy seller and stuff. And he'd always be like, hey, hey, hey, you want to hang out for a bit? This new girl I'm fucking is coming over. You got to see it. She's a hot young Puerto Rican. And I'm like, Augie,

I of course that's his name I do not want to but I kind of need to see who you're bagging but yeah he's dead now anyway so um that's why you broke up yeah he he ended up his daughter

like reluctantly took over being like the property manager and everything and she's just like not into the job of fixing anything what can you do you know so you own all of this Or you don't know when you rent. Yeah.

But it's like rent controlled, so I'm like stuck here. Like I can't leave. I got to find one of those. For better or worse, you know. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm like super fortunate, you know. This used to be a space where people lived. I used to rent out this basement.

And then I turned it into a studio. I'm just an odd guy doing odd jobs. I'll race you. I'm Ian Fidance. Hey, how are you? And each week, I'm in different towns across the country. doing stand-up comedy, and to keep me from rotting in my bed

or putting a gun to my head, I get you to teach me how to do your job. Ian do, an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com slash Ian Fightance Comedy every other Tuesday produced by YMH. I got to rip a fart too, bro. Let it loose, toot, toot. I'll see you out there.

How long you've been working here? Here we are. If I ever have to move out, I'm completely fucked because I, you saw upset. It's like very like, I've lived here for almost two decades, so it's like I wouldn't be able to get all this stuff out. Like I'm like here forever.

Yeah. You think you'll just stay here forever? I mean, ideally I'd like to... You can get a house now. Go away for sure, but I don't want that responsibility. I mean, I'd like to get... I mean, with the X, I was like looking at places like upstate and everything and all this stuff, but I don't know if...

I think if I were to leave here, it would just be for like a couple months at a time and I'd like sublet this or like let comics come in and just pay me like whatever. Yeah. But, uh, and like Airbnb a place for a while. Like I,

I'll always come back here, but I don't know if, I mean, pie in the sky, I'd like to, you know, get a house in the woods and then like a bungalow at the beach and split time.

But yeah. You know. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? I mean, Rojobitz Beach, Delaware. Yeah, I'm from Delaware, but I loved going to the beach as a kid. But also I really love, I go to my buddy's cabin upstate in the Hudson Valley, and I love it up there.

And I'd love to have the options to, like, be on a beach or, like, in the woods and kind of go in between. It's like you got to be kind of, like, close to an airport, you know, for, like, all the travel. Yeah. You know. For sure. Or get so rich, you learn how to fly your own plane. That could be an option. You ever flown?

You own plane? I was looking into it. I could afford a private, I could afford a plane, a small Cessna, but the upkeep of storing it, the gas, and the pilot's license

is kind of a lot. Yeah. It's very funny of you to even look into. Yeah, I know. To be like, hmm, maybe I can just fly myself to the kit. I mean, dude, think about that. Wouldn't that be wild

to, like, work the road? but fly your own plane? No, that sounds terrifying to me. Yeah, what? To fly myself? I think that'd be fun? No. You're playing a gate.

Say you're playing Nashville and you go from Chicago, even though that drive is in that band. It's like seven hours. You're playing Tampa. From your precious Chicago. Yeah. And you get in your own plane

and you fly down to Tampa. Sounds terrified. Why? I do it. I don't know, like, I, I'm not afraid of heights, but, like, and I don't mind flying. But when you're on a plane and it's, like, cloudy. Mm-hmm. And you can, it's just white.

You can't see anything. Can't see the ground. And then it starts getting turbulent. Like, bro. How the fuck, like that? Bro. And I go, how do they know what the fuck they're doing in there? Let's play a game.

You know, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Yeah. Let's play a game called, Are you smarter than a 9-11 hijacker? Okay. Those guys just learned how to fly enough to fly it. into a building. You would learn to go past the building. You'd be fine in any scenario.

You know how easy it is to fly a plane into a building? Yeah. And those guys quit at the building. You would go further past the building. I love why you're like, you'd be fine. The 9-11 guys flew it into a building. I'm like, that's what happens when you don't know how to fly.

Yeah, and you would know. You wouldn't go to flight school just to get to the building. You'd go there to learn how to get past the building. But also just like the spatial confusion, you know what I mean, when it's all gray. And you don't know where you're at. Yeah, but I'm saying you were smarter than a 9-11 hijacker. You would figure it out. Those guys were fucking goats and sucking sand.

You're a smart guy for Chicago. What? What? Are we still not against a 9-11 hijackers? What world are we in? Those are bad hombres. It's so funny because you can be. I think you can technically be so racist towards those guys because of what they did.

But also, like, there's still a group of people that are them, but they're not terrorists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sucking sand. We might have to cut that. But they did 9-11. We're allowed to shit talk them. I think that's how racism starts on, like, kind of like a microscale. For sure.

Someone gets robbed, and they're like this, and then they use that as their 9-11 to then hate. that and then everyone else like them i don't hate everyone else like the nine-leman hijackers but those guys if i knew how to pronounce your names i'd name you that's a great point yeah i like the factoid that they were at a strip club i in tampa would i think dude it was tampa there is a what a weird wait you pick tampa and then brought up nine 11 that's strange you i know a lot about 9-11 except the pronunciation of their names. Because you know why? I refuse to name them.

There is a, there's a hotel in Connecticut called the Fairfield Inn, and they used to do, local joint, they used to do comedy shows there during the pandemic. Yeah. And I was, I don't know what your pandemic comedy experience was,

but we would do like rooftops, streets, parks, and people would just bring, like, lawn chairs. So we're doing like the lawn area leading up to the woods behind this Fairfield Inn motel. And it's all these people in lawn chairs. It's like October. People were bundled up. And I like did a joke about 9-11.

And everybody was just like, quiet. And I was like, what the I'm looking at? None of you were in 9-A-Let. Like would you fucking calm to end? And someone goes, the hijackers stayed here. And I was like, what? and they stayed at the on their way up to Logan airport they stayed at the Fairfield in in Connecticut I was like boy oh boy he bulldozed I fuck this up they stayed there yeah

can you stay in the room maybe like can you stay in that room where they they didn't plot and scheme there they just no they like stayed there for a night that's crazy yeah I mean the craziest part is that they had to import their own sand to make them feel like they're back at home. Now, I've always thought a fun movie would be like a dark comedy of the 9-11 hijackers leading up to 9-11 where they go to Applebee's, a strip club. And some of them still don't know that they are going to die on 9-11. They think that they're just, like, hijacking to, like, land somewhere. And it's almost like they're figuring it out. out while they're like going to these strip clubs and it's kind of like a um i like that idea a lot

yeah kind of like uh i'm trying to think almost like an old school like uh not caper movie but just like you know the stakes are that some of them they're like young guys they're not like the worst guys they don't know anyone's going to die they just think that they're like going to do this job right that uh they're going to like get away with and they're like wait we have to fly into a But they're like enjoying the strip club at the time, you know. I think that's very funny. Mohamed Atta is an old curmudgeon. Do you think they had, yeah, do you think they were like at the strip club and they were just having a good time?

They're like, what if we just don't? Let's just not. Dude, yeah, do you think any of them were getting a lap dance from like some fat-ass Latina? And they're like, do we have to? Yeah, they're getting. Yeah, they're getting like the Sunday scaries. Yeah. And they were like, oh, it's tomorrow.

I don't want to go there tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, probably. Well, yeah, didn't... Yeah, I wonder how many none of them dropped out. I don't know, but I know the ending would be one of the guys about to fly the plane in the building going, oh, no! And then it's the curb your enthusiasm.

Bump, bum, bum, bha. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah, I like that idea a lot. Thanks. You ever written a movie? No, I really want to. I've got some ideas.

I had a movie idea that I'm in the middle of writing right now. No, it's been two years. I haven't touched it. Do you want to share it? Comment below. I'll share it. It should be Jordan. And if the movie he's writing should be made, go.

I think it's a good movie. What do you think of my favorite director of all time? Oh, I didn't know you were. You actually use that as a handkerchief? Wait, what is it? You're just holding it out. You never used a hanky? That's a bandana.

Hanky That caught me so off guard I thought you were gonna tie it around you First of all I had no idea you were a Crip Second of all Second of all I didn't know you could blow your nose into it You've never you've never seen someone use a hanky My grandfather had hanky

His was white You don't want white because then you see the bugs No I've seen hankies I haven't seen someone use a bandana The bandana Well blow on my nose messed up my mustache Continue with your little movie Just two guys

Who have been on comics Unleashed Oh my God Applauses, applause, blows, blows Blows, blows. He pulls out a hanky Ablos, blows, applause. Laugh, laugh, laugh. You know, I mentioned being bisexual

Byron didn't shake my hand. It was awesome. I was like, oh, fuck. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, get out of here with that foolish shit. He gave you, like, the COVID elbow bump? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Shake your hand. So the movie, my favorite director of all time is, yeah, it's Mel Brooks or is John Hughes. Ooh. It's a awesome. So it's a real kind of John Hughesy movie. What do you think of this?

Hold on one second. I'm texting. the next. Collections? You will be so much better than this one. Oh, sorry, I'm saying it out loud. Sorry. Okay, sorry, sorry.

That's okay. I don't even know how to, like, fucking spell right now. I just get my ticket accounts. Oh, for what? Irvine, Ontario, and auctionard. And how are they? They're looking good. Oh, boy.

Dude, I have told my guys to stop giving me ticket accounts ahead of time. Yeah, I'm because I am such a last minute guy. I will sell out or get close to sell out like the weekend. But week before, I've had clubs be like, we got to do discount tickets or absorb shows. And then thankfully, we have like the data of like, dude, you got to just wait and it'll be fine. Yeah. But because of that, I've been like, don't send me because I'll see it and I'll be like, oh, I should.

I should quit Like quit Kill myself Fucking like It's brutal Yeah Especially when they send them like a month out And you're like

A month out Dude I know I've gone and seen the food fighters Not knowing I was going to the morning of Yeah You know what I mean And Like

Everything is so bad With the economy now I And my guy's like You gotta work on getting people To buy them ahead of time I'm like I gotta work on

fucking My self am I act it's not my job to like hound these people all the time they're gonna buy them but they're gonna buy them last minute because that's just how things are you know I dude it

it felt so good I did a I did like I think like the Dayton Funny Bone and leading up to it they're like sales are so bad We gotta We gotta get the Saturday late and just make it the Saturday Just one show and I'm like no whatever

And then they fucking did that And then they sold out Friday, Saturday early and then they added they took it away and then added and I was like this is crazy and I'll be honest they should not have added

Yeah oh yeah That sounds like a 19 ticket Why it was it was like affirming And then like I you want to obsess about these things And it's like dude you just got to let it go And like trust it's gonna be fine But it's always like such a fucking

I know these are improvs too These are like 600 cedars And you're like Oh yeah So anyway The movie, Yes. Love John Hughes.

I thought this was a very John Hughesy moment. Hold on. Or movie. Name a bunch of John Hughes movies on three. We'll see if we're on the same wavelength. One, two, three. Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Okay.

Next one. Home alone. All right. Uncle Buck. All right. Third time is charm. Only the lonely. Oh, that was Christopher Columbus.

I get Christopher Columbus and John Hughes confused. playing trains and automobiles. John Hughes do kindergarten and cop? No. Now what's your movie? The movie is, there's this guy, he's a writer, but he's not a good,

he like writes like, conspiracy history, conspiracy things. And he's got like this real, like, old-timey agent, name is Mel, who's like, hey, babe, hope things are good, okay. Like, you ever seen Along Comes Polly?

Yes. Like, Alec Baldwin? All right, good things, good things. It's kind of like that kind of guy. Anyway, so he's a writer, and his books aren't selling, whatever. His girlfriend's a nurse, really trying to, like, she's the breadwinner, and he's just, like,

he's just not working. Nobody's buying his books, and the girlfriend, like, leaves him, and his next-door neighbors, like, he can hear him through the walls. They have, like, this crazy relationship, they break up, they make up all the time. They have really loud sex. They fight really loud.

I think that's me. Yeah, I live next to you. I live upstairs. Shout out, baby, and also my enemy. I live next door. It's based off Ian. And anyway, he starts writing a book. This is three years.

He writes a book based on what he's hearing next door. And the books go, super, they get super popular. Everybody loves these books. They sell like hotcakes. He's a millionaire. Then he gambles all his money away. He's a degenerate.

He eventually loses his money, and they break up for good. And so he has no more, he can't write any more books. And so he's just living off that money, and then it goes. So eventually he has one more. He hatches a scheme. He's got one more. plan or idea or whatever his idea is to get

the two people back together so you can write more books but in the middle of all this he falls in love with the chick that was fighting with this other guy and then he ends up just and she finds out she's like wait are these books about me

and all this stuff and then he writes one last big hurrah book about the whole thing about how he's like the books are about you but I love you all the stuff and then that's like his biggest book ever and it ends with some full full house sitcom theme saying it out loud I'm sorry I told you I think it's a fun idea it's something to work the muscle of writing I like it it's not bad it's the elevator pitch the elevator got stuck on the fifth floor okay I can respect that

But there's not much to it. The elevator. No, I just meant it was a long description. Okay. I guess I could have, uh, like elevator hits me. Like two lines, log line. Oh, okay.

All right, ready? Uh, writer starts writing about his neighbors. Um, they break up after his books get really successful. A writer down on his luck finds inspiration through the, the daily life of his neighbors through a, thin wall. What happens when his inspiration breaks up and moves away? Will he chase them down or will he have to find a way to create his greatest novel ever on his own?

Coming this fall, the writer and the muse. No, the working title is actually thin walls. Not bad. Not bad I like it I think there's something there There is It's a lot better than your fucking 9-11

I'll tell you that much I'll tell you that much What would the name of my 9-11 movie be Thin cockpit doors Oh What about What about Thin Walls at the Fairfield in

An agonizing tale Of a series of unfortunate events Yeah. Oh, we're planning and oopsies. I like that. Yeah, Captain Crunch. Here's another movie idea. Actually, me and a buddy wrote a movie,

and we got to the point of, like, financing and all this stuff, and then our main actor got, like, super famous. It was like, well, I'm, like, busy. Who's that? But it's basically Arnold Schwarzenegger? Well, yeah. Heard of him? Yeah, from kindergarten cap.

Christopher Columbus movie. I don't think it's him either. I don't think it's him. Oh, oh, a guy, a writer down in his luck, finds inspiration through his neighbor. No. Oh, okay. That was sounded really good.

It's called Whirlpool, and it's basically a guy whose life is spinning down the drain in the span of three weeks, and he's the last one to figure out. that he's the problem. Will he get it all together or will he burn every bridge that he's built?

Find out this week on Whirlpool. I like that. Okay, new movie idea. Okay. A guy meets a girl online out of state,

falls for her, moves, goes to visit her in, let's say, Vermont, And it turns out that she is a vampire and everyone in that town are vampires. And they've been loring people to this town via her for decades. And then I get lured up. I figure it out.

And I have to fight my way through getting back to where I'm from. This is kind of like once bitten with Jim Carrey and Fright Night Kind of mashed into Did I steal those plots? Unknowingly I haven't seen both No but that's kind of a classic vampire tale Is they're like luring? Yeah

To keep them young Yeah but this would be different Sure What about this? Because this one is based on my experience Of finding an energy vampire Who lured me and the love loving her, Lord Celsius.

And then I went to what? I'm not saying specific details. I'm using movie talk. Am I missing something? Huh? Blas, blah, blas. Am I missing something? Is this an inside joke of some sort?

No, I was basically describing my relationship. I had a vampire. Okay. Vampiring. What about this? There's this lady she owns like an independent bookstore. But then I go up there and I let her bite me so we can stay together forever. You're going through it today.

You aren't going through it. But then I realized it's not a good idea. We weren't a fit. It's okay. And then I find the antidote. And then I come back to your... Is it antidote or anecdote? I used an antidote to figure out the antidote.

Antidote. And then, okay, you go, that'll be the name of the movie. antidote. I like that. Maybe you should call her. No, no, call her. Do you one better. FaceTime.

Are you actually FaceTime? Put on a wig. Hey, it's me and Jordan. Hey. How are you? Okay, new movie idea. What do you think about this?

A lady in New York City owns an independent bookstore. Yes. It's the 90s, mid-90s. Ooh, next to Kim's videos. Do you know Kim's videos? No. Classic.

New York staple. I used to go there in 2003. It no longer exists, but it was like the VHS compound video store that had everything. It was like a cool hangout spot, St. Marks. Anyway, go ahead. I'm just adding detail to your thing.

I like that. It could be next to it. Yeah, yeah. Sure. Because that'll really solidify the timeline. I like that. Okay. Do you want me to listen or do you want me to offer my opinion?

Just listen. Fair. Oh. I'm such a good boyfriend. You are. That's what I do in scenarios. I go, do you want me to listen so you can vent or do you want me to be solution-based?

I like that. And they say, third option, I'll cheat. Anyway, go ahead. A applaud, applaud, applaud, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God. Okay, go, go, I go, go. Do you want to sit closer? I did think about it.

When I first sat down, I go, do I take that spot? I think this is the guest seat, though. Yes. So she owns an independent bookstore. Yes. There's this guy. Opens up pretty much Barnes & Noble. He's like the top dog at most of these chain bookstores

that are ruining the independent bookstores. Yeah. And he, anyway, she hates this guy. Right. Fuck this guy. Fuck him. And she's on like a chat room kind of dating. site.

And is talk... Tell me. Yeah. She starts chat room dating that guy. And, or emailing with him. And she has no idea. She hates this guy, but she's falling in love with him online. Does she know it's him?

Not until the end of the movie. At the beginning of this sounded like the plot of that Vince Vaughn movie about Dodge Ball. What was it called? Anchorman. Go ahead. Yeah. Anyway, the movie was going to be called. You've got me.

listen to you. Come on Ian. That was a big, that's why you were like, do you want a solution? You want me to just listen? I'm like, let me just get through the bit.

No, but I like it. Wait, was that? It's you've got mail. That's the plot of you got mail. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? I thought you knew that. No.

What? No. No, you're doing a bit. I swear to God. You're so, no, you're so alty and you're doing a bit. I swear to God. I thought that that was your plot.

And then my joke was. Oh, it sounds like you've got mail. It's because you've got mail. How's that for an antidote? All right. All right. All right. New movie idea.

All right. I am a high power guy. I fall in love of the prostitute named Julia Roberts. It's called. Wait, is there a certain city you're leaving? Yes. Seattle. Lots of a.

Oh, leave you. Las Vegas. Oh, Seattle. Isn't that the same movie? Is that what you're talking about? Pretty woman? Oh, wait, no. I'm thinking of leaving Las Vegas where Nicholas Cage is doing... Drinks himself to death and meets Elizabeth Shoe. Oh. Yeah.

And we're talking about Julia Shulace. What's her name? She's real. Her name's Julia Shulace. Harry Arms. You ever see that family guy clip where it's... It's like, he's at some, like, restaurant. And they go, sir, are you waiting for somebody? And he's, like, Peter's not supposed to be there.

And he's like, yeah, I'm waiting for Roberto Lampshade Shulacio. And then the guy goes, sir, Roberto Lampshade Shulacio has not worked here in 15 years. Awesome. Yeah, family guys great. Dude, I loved Family Guy so much And then South Park ruined it for me Why? Did you ever see the South Park Family Guy episode?

Just the beef or what? Or is it the crowd? Do they do a... Oh, dude, South Park basically breaks down Family Guy. Oh, right, okay. And they have these like manatees in a tank that flow. Yes. And then they pick on a ball the non-sequiters that happens in Family Guy.

The cutaways and shit. cutaways. And then after that, it took the formula and completely, like, ruined family guy for me. Yeah, I mean, I know what you're talking about

now that you describe that, but it is also kind of like, you can break anything down onto paper and... I guess, but it's, like, knowing how the hot dogs made and you're eating it, and you're like,

this is assholes and lips. Ugh. What a delicious pair of asshole and lips. I mean, I love assholes and lips. You know what I mean? I'll still eat the hot dog, but I can't watch the family guy. I don't know what it's about. I don't know.

You can't watch it anymore. Can't watch it. I'm like, yeah. Well, I guess it was probably hitting its peak when you were like, what? 47. Yeah. Shulace. Well, that's the thing, too.

I, shoe lace. I remember watching it and getting the DVDs in like 2002, 2003. You're like downloading when you wish upon a Weinstein. And that was like so crazy. I can't believe it. And then it went away. And when it came back, I was just like, I've kind of, like, moved on. And I also didn't have a TV.

When it hit its peak, like peak, I almost said, Peak Seinfeld, peak family guy, I was nine. How old are you? 25. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, I'm 25. No, you're not. I am. Are you serious?

Yeah. What? Yeah. You're so young. How old do you think I was? I don't know, like 30. Yeah, 25. Oh, my God.

How old are you? 41. I, for real, I thought you were like 33. Really? 34, yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Appreciate it.

Of course. What's the outfit? Yeah. Yeah. Really? Backward hat. You just get the big spinner hat with a lollipop. How old do you think I am?

My first election I'm voting in is for AOC in four years. Two? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Dude, you're so fucking young. That's awesome. Jesus Christ. So yeah, oh, fuck.

Family guy was like your, okay. It was peak. Yeah. I remember I got like thrown in the back of a cop car watching family guy because me and my friends got in trouble on spring break senior year of high school. And like that was the thing to do. Go to my house and watch family guy in the basement. And you got arrested? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, no, I just got detained. Me and my friends were driving. we used to cause a lot of trouble and I grew up in I grew up in Delaware and there was like nothing to do so we would like ram my truck into trash cans or smash mailboxes

and we'd do trash can bowling where we'd drive and someone would hang out grab a trash can you'd speed up and then throw it into other ship and we had just we'd gone to this water ice cream place on a on a main road and this cop car like stalled out. So me and my friends pushed the cop car up the side of the road.

And then we got my truck and we were driving around. And as a joke, my friends were like, we were like, we should ram the truck into some trash cans. And my friends are like, yeah, how about we just like hit one. And we're like, ha, ha, ha, ha. They're like, do this one over here. And I took them serious, but they were being sarcastic because there was a family reunion on this front guy's lawn.

And I didn't see it. And I just barreled. into these trash cans and they like exploded in front of this guy in his entire family. And my buddy, they're like crying laughing. 2 p.m. Okay. And my buddy's in the back. One a.m.

activity. Pointing and laughing. We were on spring break. We're like spring break. Yeah. And my buddy's pointing and laughing. And this guy, he's like jumping up and down screaming. His whole family is like, dude, there's trash everywhere.

And we drive back to my mom's house. We go on the base and we're watching family guy. And this cop knocks on the door. and apparently when my mom, because we told my mom, we're like, we pushed a police officer's car off the road to help him. We're angels. And then we didn't tell her the rest. So when the cop showed up the door, he was like,

miss, he's like, ma'am, do you own a Ford red pickup? My mom goes, oh, officer, you must be here to thank the boys. Like, she thought he was coming over to be like, here's a medal. And my, dude, I'll never forget. We were watching Family Guy. And my mom's like, and the police are here. And I'm like, oh, shit. So I go up and they throw me in.

a cop car and they take me to this guy's house and it's basically like he said she said and i'm like look like i have never driven stick before my friends are teaching me how to drive stick yeah and i was paying attention and i you know drove the car and and was so embarrassed i kept driving and the guy's like yeah but your little friend was pointing and laughing at me i was like no no he was saying i can't believe you did that that poor man and the cop was like all right look if you go anywhere near this property for the next six months. I'm throwing you in jail. Like, get the fuck out of here.

And the guy was like, you have to fix my trash can. I was like, it's fine. And then the cop, like, let me go. But I went back to my house and my friends are still watching family guy in the basement. Oh, my God. They didn't leave? Yeah, no, no. They didn't leave.

And my mom, like, didn't kick them out. She was like, he'll be back in a little or I'll pick them up. Wow. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, no, that was kind of a long story. No payoff. No big guffaw.

Well, it kind of. I really. I thought it was funny He just kind of got stuck on the fifth floor Halfway up Okay, elevator pitch A boy and his friends are out in the town Midday smashing it up

Clowning around Yeah The cops pull up They want to arrest them Mm-hmm Friends in the basement Family Guy episodes My friends would ingest them

Okay All right. I like what you're going on. I like to give movie log lines in limericks. Yeah. I think this sounds like you've got mail, man. I got to say. I'm trying to let you down easy here,

but it sounds like you've got mail. I wish. At least I'd have something to look forward to. I can't stop thinking he, I can't stop thinking about Byron Allen, not shaking your hand. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dude, I, I, I, they, they missat me. And he thought I was someone else when they started. And he was like, seed arrangements off, start again.

And then he looks at me and immediately goes, so Ian, you are, uh, single or like you, oh, you love pets. And I was like, oh, that's right, Byron. He was like, you live in New York City. I go, yeah, and that aquarium's bigger than my apartment. Yeah. No laugh. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, I live in New York.

Yeah, yeah. Just awful, awful. And then fucking Ben Glebe, he, we were told over and over, hey, add on to people's jokes, whatever. And he was adding on to stuff, but insulting, like ripping and roasting. And he said something really mean,

and I panicked him when, I didn't know we were going to be mean. I don't have a response. Yeah, yeah. Dude, it was just fucking terrible. Yeah. Terrible. Yeah, it's fun.

I had a very similar, I had a very similar thing with, Kirk Fox was on my episode. Which I had no problem with Kirk Fox at all. Kurt's great. But, yeah, he did some joke about his wife. I had some joke about a website, like really, really big boobs or whatever.

Dot com. And then he said something like, I think that's where I met my wife or something. And I go, I think that's where I met her too. And then Kirk was like Like right in the camera was like Okay

Oh well dude I I like sat back and then at the end Ben said something and I like added And like slammed them and it was like oh I looked at the camera and I go that was for before Yeah I don't think they like included it But it was yeah it was so fucking gnarly and like I don't know I I would do I although I will say it helped me writing clean.

Sure. Because I'm, you know, like a less clean than I would like to be. But it helped me parse things out clean and actually put together like a set that I'm getting together to tape for fucking Tonight Show if that'll ever fucking happen. But it like helped. Yeah. So I thought it was like a positive. And everybody has like a comics unleashed story.

So that was like fun to be a part of. Yeah. It's a very fun experience, I think. Were you in a good trailer? I was in an all-right trailer, but when I was getting makeup, I don't know if it was your episode, but there was a woman that Byron was, she went off script and Byron was like,

so you have an interesting family. She goes, Byron, my brother is gay and we think he has AIDS. And, dude, the producer in the back dropped her clipboard and ran out. And then the woman after the episode came in the room, she was like, I panicked to just start talking about my brother with AIDS.

And I don't know what happens. I was like, oh, my God. God. I loved it. I thought it was great. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a funny. Yeah. Because I think that's where I first met you was on that little. Oh, yeah. I think I knew. We knew each other just through DMs, but I don't think I knew you. Yeah, no, dude.

I watch you in the, in the makeup thing. You crush. It was so funny. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Yeah. It was a weird little, a little thing.

I went to speaking, I reminded me, the Jaws thing in L.A. Are you a Jaws fan? It's all right. Universal Studios? No. Oh. But yes, I also went there.

But I also went to the Academy Museum. Mm-hmm. And it's Jaws 50th. I don't know if you've been, but they have everything, like, from the movie there. Mm-hmm. They got the fin of the shark. Wow.

They got the yellow barrels. They got some of the boat there. They got the harpoon gun. Oh, that's cool. They have the Naringonset or whatever beers, the heavy aluminum cans or whatever. Oh, with the top that you... Some of them that were never used or they still had some...

Holy shit. They're all sitting there. If you're a Jaws fan, you should go. Nothing funny. that story but well you've been funny the whole podcast why would you start now

my god um I think I fucking need an ice pack for my back for how much I carried this fucking episode what are you talking about you are going through some kind of horrific breakup and I have been steering the ship through the

foggy night I mean I didn't want to say anything but I certainly was going to call my girlfriend after and be like Ian is a bad host What? I feel like

I feel like... That's the dream sequence. This has all been a dream. Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Be and Ian with Jordan. Jordan is on a Simon in San Francisco,

but we have our fantastic guest here today. Peyton, how do I say your last name? Ruddy. Peyton Ruddy. You know him from Comics Unleased

You get mail This has been fantastic You're the fucking best man I'm so glad we finally got to do this Yeah me too I think you're so funny Thank you buddy You're such a good stand-up

And your videos are I watch them all the time And me and friends send them to each other That's awesome And it's so cool to see you You know blowing up and touring and everything You're so interesting, unique and funny And I'm glad you're here

Thank you buddy I really appreciate that I would like to say, a little gay moment here, I've been a fan of you for years. Get out of here. And I've been, I've been subscribed to the YouTube. The whole thing, I'm such,

I said this to Joe List when I first met him too. I was talking about, I don't think you guys realize how important your class of comedians are to my class of comics because you guys, I feel like did not start, like I started when podcasts were like really, starting to hit, like in 2018. Everybody had a big podcast, and you're in that class,

well, those guys that, like, talk to any guys I started with. I mean, you are on this list with all these people that we admired. And I think some of you guys in your class don't realize how important you are to a lot of these comedians now that are coming up. Man. And so I would like just to say, I'm very appreciative. I can't believe we're buddies, and I get to do this show. I've been watching it for years.

So thank you very much for having me. That's so cool. I've been a full circle with James. I've known James for years. Yeah. That's what a cool thing. It's going to have you on, but it's going to see you again. Congrats on everything, bro.

I think I, I, I think I, I appreciate that. I don't see myself as that. I feel kind of like classless, and so it's, like, cool to hear that. And I appreciate that, and that really means a lot. I'm going to carry that with me. You should. Why don't you, uh, let me move over here? Why don't you tell the folks at home where they can find you?

I'm going to be on tour. You can find me at Peyton Ruddy Comedy on Instagram. and Peyton RuddyLive.com or punch up Peyton Ruddy. I'm on tour for the rest of my life. And it's awesome. It's great. And Albuquerque, New Mexico is a great city. That's right.

I should have taken a left at Albuquerque. Who says that? Bugs Bunny. Yep. No idea. I always thought it'd be a funny thing for, you know how Bugs Bunny goes, What's up, Doc? Yeah, I'd be fighting up.

What's up, Doc? Douglass. You have AIDS. Ianfinance.com for all my dates. And then Byron Allen runs in. He's like, uh, no, no, cut it. Cut the show.

Yeah. It's incurable. Bugs is like, I don't know what happened there. I should have to say, I got off script. Ian doing our guy doing on jobs every other Tuesday. The blockbuster video, the blockbuster video episode just came out where I work at the last blockbuster on Earth. this weekend. I'm shooting down in Salisbury, Maryland with A.W. Wrestling. I'm so excited. So check that out. Subscribe. YouTube.com slash e.mfinance comedy. And punchup.com slash Jordan Jensen for all her date. She's on the road. Check her out. And we'll see you next time. Patreon.com slash beanie and pie. We love you, everybody. Bye. Bye.