Bein' Ian With Jordan - Perma-Dirty W/ Jack Grady Magic | Bein' Ian with Jordan #217

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

World famous magician Jack Grady stops into the Den with Ian & Cousin Sheri to deploy his arse-enal of tricks, talk about addiction, & give us more insight on his incredible record-breaking run on America's Got Talent. SUB TO OUR PUNCHUP FOR EXCLUSIVES! All of our dates AND bonus episodes are now available in one convenient place, all for the same price as the Patreon! Visit punchup.live/beinianwithjordan Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-30PenMy1O8 JORDAN JENSEN | DEATH CHUNK: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here!: https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast - For free shipping on your order & 365-day returns go to https://www.Quince.com/SKA Follow Jordan Jensen: @jordanjensenlolstop https://instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop See Jordan Live! - https://punchup.live/jordanjensen Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! - https://punchup.live/ianfidance Follow Jack! https://instagram.com/jackgradymagic Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced by: James Webb https://instagram.com/thechicagopro/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. What's that, Glenn? You want to know where I'm performing live? My Eiffidance.com for all tickets and dates. Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State, September 3rd to 5th. Saratoga Comedy Festival, September 11th to 12th, Charlotte, North Carolina, the 17th, and 19th, Dallas, Fort Worth, Texas.

Let's sell it out October 1st to 3rd. Philly, Philly Helium, November 5th to 7th. I'm going all over. Ianfinance.com for tickets, patreon.com slash B&EM. Pod for bonus episodes. A lot of fun on there. And also, Ian do it. a guy doing odd jobs, my TV show on YouTube, produced by YMH, punchup. dot live slash Jordan Jensen for all her dates.

And when it's being Ian with friends, being Ian and friends, we want you to check the friends out. So make sure whoever's on the pod, you follow them, check out their dates. Thanks for supporting the show. We love you. Telling jokes and having smokes, riding back so through the night, it's a wild ride. When you're being in the end. Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt

It's a wild ride When you're being in Being Ian Life is shit but you're positive Let's find out what it's like to live Alive Bein Ian Hi everybody.

Welcome back to another episode of Be and Ian and Friends. I've got my two co-hosts with the most Glenn, the cat, Glenn Danzig. Do you have anything to say? Meow. Meow. How long had you had that joke in your head? That was incredible, dude. And everybody's favorite, cousin Sherry.

What's up, guys? I love you so much. I just came back from Delaware, so I probably smell like cigarettes and poverty. And I got a black sense. That's stronger than ever. Let's go. And we are so excited for our guest today. Straight off, America's Got Talent,

straight off winning a celebrity boxing match. We have match. Dude, I've been doing this thing where my words have been coming out wrong recently. You got it. You're right. You're right. Thank you.

From a celebrity boxing match, Jack Grady ass magician. Hello, hello. Name's Jack Grady King, ass magic two and oh we love it yeah we were outside smoking a cigarette earlier I didn't know who he was and I don't ever want to judge but I was like

is this guy a fucking magician in this Paisley uh she could tell from the jacket yeah this shit was six dollars my mom got it from the thrift store thank God you're a magician somebody died in this most likely I love that's the thing with thrift stores incredible good eye

incredible and I just want to say you're allergic to cats thank you for doing the with our co-host glen. Sometimes he rubs people the wrong way, but it's just because of a curse God gave them by being allergic. Nothing to do with his personality or demeanor.

And now, I found this to be wildly interesting and fascinating about you. I went up the street. I got you a claritin. Can you show it to the TV viewers of them? Now, you are a world-renowned magician, and you tried to open the claridin,

but you could not. You can do any sort of magic. but you cannot magically open a pack of player in it. Well, I'm not a fucking miracle worker, okay? What the fuck, dude? Shove it up your ass and make it work, ass magician. You think I got a blender situation in my asshole? There's a little slit at the top.

Yeah, I was struggling with the slit. Okay, okay. You have to do that so fucking easily. Okay, well, what do you fucking do? I will say you told me outside, but you get into it, but you are in a wonderful, loving relationship about to be, fiance. Yes, about to be engaged. Which is a good sign as to why you are not good with other slits. You're a good guy. One slit rules them all. I've, so, oh, okay, you're saying I've only

focused my talents on one slits. Yes. You want me to clean your glasses? Your glasses are dirty as hell. Look at this shit. I'm a little hot. I know this. Okay. I'm just getting called the fuck out today. I told you, I gave you a word earlier. This is what I'm in the Delaware down with two Delaware Doozies. And I mean it with love, okay? Everything that comes out of Sherry's mouth. I'm going to do it with my shirt and not a cat. Go for her.

Do the shirt. Sherry's autism centers itself in being brutally honest, but with love. I'm not. I have never been diagnosed, but I really think I am. Sherry's autism centers itself in being unable to escape her wicker past. No, no, it's cool. They're kind of perma dirty. Like the film.

Oh, that looks better. I can see your eyes. They're so large. No, it's not just like a. A mist covering. Yes. I can see your eyes. Do you have a water?

Do you need water for the Claritin? I'm cool. Can you imagine can make that disappear too? Okay. Hold on. I need to get it out of the foil. Oh, it's like two factor. Oh, I'll do it.

No, I got it. I just love being a helper. Sherry, your Instagram is. Oh, you're uploading. Oh, I was up on Glenn. Do you have, oh, that's not it. That's not my password. Oh, I put it my password.

I am discombobulated. The travel shows coming out tonight, live premiere of the A.W. Part two, Ian do, where I wrestle in the ring. I get a full chop by Brody King. I get chokeslammed by story from the premier athletes. And also, while my video was uploading outside to get everyone live in the chat at 830. I don't know why I'm promoing this right now because this isn't coming up for a couple weeks. I got a hair in my brain to shout out Tufton Paul.

They sent a bunch of cat things for Glenn and Samson. they sent two cat scratch posts. They sent some food. They sent some water bowls. They sent a new litter box. Thank you. We love the products. And I got a hair in my brain.

And you know how things go here at Samson Cat Enterprises. Things are up and down, Lucy Goosey. But I thought it would be a good idea because they sent two separate cat posts. And coming up is 9-11. Oh. So I bought the cat's two cat airplane costumes. And I'm going to take a picture of the cats flying into the cat boats. I was there.

No. No, you weren't even born yet. Yeah, it was born. How old were you? I was three. Oh. God bless. Do you need a moment for your, I know this is hard for you discussing 9-11.

This child. This 9-11 talk was very hard for me when I was three years old. Yeah. In Ohio. Oh, H. I. Oh, my mom. when 9-11 happened

she was she would not let me I've told this story before but my 9-11 is there was a gal we're best friends of this day but and maybe this is why but we had kissed it a dance a week before 9-11 and so 9-11 happened we all got out of school and she called me and was like

my parents are in home do you want to come over and hang out wink wink and I was like oh my God here it comes the big V it's gonna yeah yeah But somebody whispered in Bush's ear. They said, President Bush, a second virginity has been lost. And I really thought she and I were going to lose our V cards.

And I was like, Mom, I got to go to her house. And my mom was like, Ian, you're not going. They're flying planes into buildings. They could crash it into 95 on the way there. They could crash it into the Rollins building. The Rollins building was a 30-store building. How many? No, maybe like 20-story building up the street from our house.

My mom truly thought the terrorists were going to hit D.C. NYC, Wilmington, Delaware. Shout out, Aunt Gil, we love her. I just saw her a few hours ago. That's crazy. Shout out, Glenn. I just want to make you disappear with magic because I want to bite your head off.

And shout out Samson. He lets me pet him now. When he rolls over, I pet his belly. I pet his little chin. He's a little model. I love him. Samson went up to James in the kitchen and James went for a pet and Samson hissed.

That's okay. No, he did that to me too for a while. He does it at first. It's boundaries. Exactly. He wants to approach. He does not want to be touched. And that's kind of like me in dating.

Now, Jack, you were on America's Got Talent. Oh, AGT. Yes, World Record fastest elimination, 10 seconds, baby, let's go. I saw the clip. And can we pop the clip up on the show because it's so fucking funny? Legitimately, he is up as a magician. And then everyone's like, ooh, magic. And then what did you say that made them go?

I did a little poem. This is going to not hit as hard for. Because it's like, you know, when you're explaining a joke. But nonetheless, the little boom, we take a bottle, becomes a glass, where to go. And then I turned around and the bottle was wedged in my asshole. Yeah. No, you did. So you said, here's a bottle, here's a glass.

I turn around. It's in my ass. You get it on America's got to tell me? Yeah, yeah, you know, national television. Oh, hell fucking yeah, bro. That is awesome. And they all went, eh. Yeah.

Yeah. No, well, like, my thinking was, right, I took a look at my totality. The totality of all my material. and I was like, okay, I don't really have anything that's going to do good on this show. So I'll just make a little meme, you know? Kids love memes. It's the heroin of the youth.

Yes. Heroin of the youth. I wish I had memes instead of heroin. Oh, yeah. Sharon would have been way better off if she had injected memes into her veins. Black tar heroin from Nairip, Mexico. Yeah, no.

Because, I mean, kids, they're not doing heroin nowadays. They should. Yeah, they're doing memes. Kids are soft these days. They're not doing heroin. They're not doing booze. I was down, I was in Madison, Wisconsin this weekend at comedy on stage. Shout out, everybody that came out.

Shout out, staff, one of the best clubs in the country. You already know. And it's a college town, and everybody's back for college. And me and my two openers, Pat Holbert and Jared, shout out. Great comics, great guys. I love Pat. They, we were all lamenting because we're like, old guys, we're like, dude, these kids are so, like, well-behaved and, like, they'll go out and drink,

but they're not, like, wow, and create, like, when I was that age, I was coming home from the bar, blackout drunk, running, using parked cars in a line, running on top of them to, like, get home. Yep. Causing trouble. Getting to you eyes, parking on the front lawn. Street fights, fist fights, Marlboro nights. Oh, we were just talking about fighting. I miss getting punched in the face.

We miss it. I miss it. A little bit of blood running down my nose just a little bit, just a taste of blood. You know, I miss it so much. Bring back gay bashing a little bit. Okay. This is the make it disappear harmonica when Sherry says that. Just kidding.

I have dark humor. Yeah, yeah. But the way you're talking where you're from, I would think you'd use a different word for dark humor. Oh. Oh, I haven't said that word. Easy, easy, easy. That's 2011. Now, Sherry's like a construction site that's like, it's been 97 days since our last accident, but it's with her and the end work.

Yep. Now, Jack, what was the reaction when that happened in the theater with the people, were people mad at you? Or were people like, that was the funniest fucking thing in the world? Well, no, like the audience, they were all doing like this. This is a good, poor audio listeners, but like everybody in the audience was just going. X, they're Xing their hands. What losers. Yeah, I know.

What stupid fucking drony, baloney, lemming losers. Yeah. You know. Prude. Yeah. Sad. So they were all making little X marks with their hands. And I just remembered the buzzers are so loud.

Really? They're so loud. Like, jarring to the point where you're like, like, you can't think? I just got like. And I've had lots of moments where I've been overwashed with euphoria. And we're all kind of sort of sober. Yeah. This is different shades of sober.

This is nice. You're no longer doing opiates. How many years? Three. Oh, what kind of? Congrats. Amazing. Seven hydroxy.

Oh, nice. Okay. Yeah. All right. What is seven hydroxy? Tils. So, and so basically, it was a gray area drug.

It's an opiate seven times more poed than morphine. And it was not made illegal yet, so you were able to legally purchase it at gas stations. No way. Yeah. Is that hydroxy cut? Might be. Something like that. No, hydroxico was for weight loss.

Okay, yeah. Anyway. Wait, how could you purchase this at gas stations? Like dick pills? Like, yeah. You know, like Rhino 69? Yeah. Shout out spont.

No. That's good. You know, I don't know. Aphrodisiac from the gas station. You want to get hard? Rino 69. That's so funny because we legitimately probably will pop a blue chew add in right here. promo code scoff for 15% off.

Well, yeah. No, no, no. I'll give you the assist. Yes. Perfect. Don't get Rino 69. It's a bad time. Blue chew will get your dick feeling fine.

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For free shipping at 365-day returns, quince.com slash ska. Okay. It's technically on it for America's Got Talent. Hilarious. Okay. Good for you. But I was very functional, you know,

in the sense of, like, you're functional and you're not functional. Of course. In the sense of, like, nobody around me knew that there was this issue going on. Was that kind of like when I came out as bisexual? I was like, nobody knew, but some people knew. Yeah, no, I mean, there's little giveaways because like,

were there people in your life that were like we knew. Yeah, no, because like, you know, not too many people rest like. Yeah, little nod, you know, nod and out. Dude, I got to say, incredible hair, incredible hairline, amazing, no baldness. That's great. Nice. Good for you. Nice.

Thank you so much. It is. A little clitickler mustache you got going on there. Thank you so much. Very nice. The clitoris needs a little spider. Yeah. It feels weird, too.

Like, never mind. No, go ahead. Like, when a guy went down, I mean, when I had a mustache, like I liked it. I like rubbing it on there. It's like a, like a fucking sponge or something, you know? Yeah. When I get done going down on a girl, especially if I eat it from the back, it looks like a cartoon when a cigar explodes in front of someone's face.

Yeah. My hairs are like, whing! It does look like that. Yeah, it sticks all out. Yeah, like a chore boy. What does it look like when you're none eating pussy? Like this? Yeah.

Wait, so did you pull your pants? down and put the bottle up here? No, no, no. Well, actually, what I did is I did a magician east side of hand where I stole the bottle. I had to think about this like with magic brain. Okay. Because I had to walk out with no bottle in my ass. And then I ingest my table, steal the bottle, load it in my ass.

And yeah, no. How did you do that on television without them seeing? There was a big metal bar that my sweet mother, Maria, sewed into my pants. We love it. We love it. We love it. A magnetic top to the bottle. Okay.

The magnet would stick. Wait. So it's not magic. It's a magnet in your butt? Yeah, it's a magnet in my assail. Oh my God. Magic isn't real. It's magnet to the ass.

Oh, my God. Wow. Don't tell me, don't tell me. Okay, go ahead. So. Large magnet in the asshole. A large magnet. Yes.

And, no, no, no, I want to believe. So you went backstage. So you hear the buzzers and it's like the loudest motherfucking thing. You're discombobulated. You're on hydroxy 7. And what, how did you like, was anyone like this was great? Or was everybody like, what have you done? You've ruined the sanctity of America's got talent.

Ventriloquist. Puppet Jack. Yeah. That's what he goes by on socials. And he goes up to me, sweet guy. And he goes, man, are you okay? You okay? And I was like, this is.

This is amazing, dude. I just made a big meme. I made a big meme. This is going to be great. This is beautiful. Like, I was on, I was high on the meme. Yeah. And hydroxy 7.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And glass up your ass and a magnet up your ass. That is a Gen Z speedball. B. on hydroxy and a memes. That is crazy. Seven hydroxy and memes. That truly is the speedball of the modern.

Yeah. The upper and downers. And also, now, you don't have to get into it, but you may have had different rock bottoms with, you know, being addicted to opiates, but was it a personal rock bottom having to be consoled by a ventriloquist? That was fucking tough, dude. Did he have his puppet, too, that was talking to you?

Yeah. Were they good copped? Benckop the puppet was like, that was great. You're going to live forever. It's just like, I'm a shoulder to lean on. You're really a f*** because you like madding some bottles up your butt. No, yeah. Are you gay?

I don't. I'm sorry. Uh-huh. No. No. No. I called you a I called you a f***

before. No, it's okay. I love the gays. The gays are beautiful. It's okay. Yeah, yeah. My partner's very gay, you know. Wow.

I do a very bisexual person. Cool. Oh, hell yeah. Nice. How's that? Oh, it's great. Did you guys have threesomes with other women?

No, no. She just has sex with women and... It would, I feel like it would be, like, there's, like, a lot of politics when it comes to a three-sum. Yeah. And, like, you know, what if I, you know... What if you make the other girl come? Oh, it goes.

And then it's like, well, what about me? Why didn't you do that over here? Right, that's what I'm saying. I want to think about all of that, you know. True. But, yeah, finishing up on my meme speedball, though. Yes, let's do it. Basically, like, ventriloquist is consoling me, and they're like, come here for an interview.

And I was just like my pupils were dilated. This was like not even from substances, really. I was just like, this was the time of my life. Literally getting axed off. You know. So, so after that, you got interviewed, nobody that had to do with America Scott Town was like, this is great.

Were people mad at you? Were they like, you ruin this? Or like, what was the feel with everyone? I was really surprised. Like the fans of the shows mess with it, you know, because on the AGT Reddit, you ever Google yourself? I used to.

I do not anymore. My acts, it's been this, many days since the accident. It's been like, I don't know, 20-some days since I've like looked up myself or like read comments. I'm proud of you. Because that fucks with you and you go off too.

Yeah. And sometimes I read your responses. You're above that. You're way smarter than you. I read the comments on Instagram because I like to make my page like a place where people don't get made fun of or like or people are mean to people or like me. So I'll do that. But on other things I like let it go. You're popping

off on threads too by the way i saw oh god i don't go on there either i saw you on threads for a little bit yeah yeah and then i went on threads and it thank you yeah i went on threads and it was just like the worst shit i've ever seen in my life and like all these fucking women were like lindsay glancy deserves angel wings and i was like oh hell i gotta get out of here this is a bad neighborhood to be in no no but like uh i was going to say on agit tv reddit when i looked myself up Okay. G.T. Reddit. They'll be like, they should have let Jack Grady do a little longer.

And I'm like, what are you talking? That was all I had. Really? Yeah. That's all you had. All I had was that. How long did the last bottle? So what if Butterfly Effect, what if you went and they were like, this is great.

Next, what do you do next? Oh, did you think about that? I would do it again. Oh. You would just do the same trick? You just, that's great. I mean, do you see... Double it up.

I'm trying to think of a one-hit wonder artist. Fastball. Fastball. Len. Boy, George. Boy, George was in one hit one. Wait, wait, they make me one. Is that your mom?

We have a special guest calling on the show. Oh, God. Oh, God. Hey, Dave. Yeah. You're live on the podcast. We have a world-class famous magician. He's a, he's a,

an ass magician. He makes things disappear with his ass. Do you have anything to say to him? Where are my car keys? Oh, you're the best. What did I win? What did I win? Oh, I think there's a radio calling. All right, guys, have fun. All right, I'll call you later.

I'll ta-da you later. Aberkabai. Sorry, do you know David's Hill. That was David Tell. He's like, uh, legend. He's my best friend.

He's a six year old man. Anyway, um, so, uh, what, what, uh, what other tricks that you have done?

Just the same thing over and over? Like, in terms of America's got talent, yeah, a little tough, you know, to really come up with something that's, like,

catered to that show. I do have a great routine that I'm working on for Penn and Teller Fool Us. Whoa, what is that now? So it's like a show where basically, uh, The premise is you go on and try to fool famous magicians Penanteller.

So you come up with your routine and they watch it, they analyze it. If you fool them, you get a big trophy. If you don't fool them, that's something I am working on. I'm going to look right in the camera. Penanteller, I'm calling you out. Have me on the show. Wow. Have him on the show.

Wow. Oh, yeah. Defense. That was piano man for Peninschella. That was pretty good. For a smoker, that was great. Thank you. That's all I can play.

So you haven't been accepted on the show, but after this comes out, they have no choice but to accept you. Right. We're really twisting the arm. Yeah. Now, I did, I wrestled for my travel show with AEW all elite wrestling, and I was taught to shoot a promo. Would you want to shoot a wrestling promo to Penn and Teller to? a camera and then maybe we could clip it up and send it to them. Like, like,

like, hell yeah, you, me. Like, yeah, I mean, it's, the liberties of you are yours.

Oh, I want to see some magic tricks from this fucking guy who puts bottles in his ass for sure. Yeah. Yeah. We got tricks on deck. We got tricks on deck right there. All right.

Hell yeah. Tricking if you got it. I'm going to cut my promo. Let's cut your promo. Do you want me to intro you or do you just want to go cold? Yeah, intro me. Intro me.

Okay. Live from the Delaware Den. You know it Start over Okay, all right, all right, ready? Slow it down, you got it maybe. We're here live from the Delaware Den With the one, the only, the world famous,

The AGT infamous, Jack Grady, ass magician With a message to you, Penn and Teller. Take it away, Jack. Pennant Teller, names Jack Grady King of Ass Magic Undefeated Boxer 2 and O Listen, you're scared to have me on your show You may be scared that I'm gonna bring up the fact you're still friends with David Copperfield Multi-time Epstein list appearance guy

Whoa You're scared I'm gonna bring that up Let's go You're scared that I'm also gonna mention David Copperfield It's very questionable around ladies Whoa I mean obviously he was on the Epstein list Oh my god

I'm not getting on that show Okay we'll wrap it up you get it I mean, you just told them stuff. Now wrap it up with the challenge. Happy on the show. You're going to get full dumbass. Dumbass one, dumbass two. What's that equal three dumbass?

Bitch. That was the blow. That was the show far. I'm not good enough. Wow. If they do not put you on the show, I will, I'll say it right now. You guys are not invited on the show. So do you.

You want to live with that? Damn. Think about it. Yeah. Wow. That was a great promo. Thank you. Is that true about David Coppfeel?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. He was copping a feel of a kid. Yeah. Wow. A kid? You heard it here.

Accusations. Factual. Boom. He is a billionaire. So it's all alleged. I don't know. Allegedly. Yeah.

Right. Well, you know, for being such a world famous musician, he can't make those. accusations go away, no matter how much you abercadabras his way out of it. Yeah. I know his most famous trick was making his hand disappear up a child's ass. A glass of baby blood. Go on.

What do you pen and tell us why you won't have Jackie Grady on the show? They're intimidated by you. You're better than that. That's all it is. You know? Follow me. A little scared. How long have you been doing magic?

19 years Wow And you're 27 So that is Since you were eight Eight years old Who taught you How

Why Explain An old man An old man An old man Name Buck He loved that His name was Buck

He was at My name's book And I like to fuck Sorry He was probably laying pipe He was probably laying the pipe I don't know But no

Buck He ran a little Magic shop In East Lake Ohio Uh-huh. And he, he, uh, what I, I remember the first time I walked in the shop, he critiqued the fact that my pants kept falling down because I had too big of a belt. Wow. Oh, you had a belt and it was too big.

Yeah. Oh, so Buck was a little, he was a little rattlesnake bite. He was a little feisty. He was a little feisty guy. But like, uh, yeah, no, he was an interesting character, you know, he was an interesting character. And he was a magician? Yeah. Okay.

The first trick he taught me was the pen through the dollar. Really? A guy named Buck who owns a magic shop. I would think his first trick he taught you would be how to keep a secret. Little boy. So he taught you what trick? Pen through dollar. You take a pen, puncture it, rip.

And you're like, brain was blown. And you were like, I want to learn how. Yeah, I was like, this is going to be the next 20 years. Yes. Yeah. So what were the steps after that? Like you bought little tricks. You were doing it for your family.

Like when did you bring it to school? Like when did you bring it to your peers with the confidence that you can do this without getting made fun of? It was pretty quick. It was pretty quick. And I remember I would try to do like street magic on the playground. And these kids would just take my props. Okay. So I'd be like, look, the pen goes through a dollar.

And then they'd fucking take my pen away. and be like, it's a magnet. No way. No, and I feel like pissed. They called the trick out? No shit. He just headbutted them. My trick's getting exposed.

Yeah, that's messed up right. You're a street tough magician. I guess so, yeah. Dude, well, I wasn't joking about like bringing it to your classmates to get made fun. Oh, I laughed at that because I do make fun of magicians. I'm sorry about that. But you're a cool magician. I like you.

No, because when I was younger, I played guitar and I finally got up the nerve to play in front of my class at this like mini town show we had in our music class and I forgot my amplifier. I thought they had an amp at school so the class had to be quiet while I played come as you are by Nirvana. That's why I were this crazy. And I had a sticker on my guitar that said loser and a kid in the back of the room goes, Ian, the sticker defines you. And I was like, is this St.

Edmonds by the way? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This sticker defines you. Brutal. But that made me fight. I got in a fight with that. kid at recess. As you shoot.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love fighting. But yeah, no, like David Blaine would do street magic, right? Do you like David Blaine?

I mess with David Blaine. I fuck with him. He's wild. His stuff, like, when you see magicians like that, do you get like a hair in your ass of like, I got to figure out that trick or are you like straight up that will never be figured out respect? I like his stuff where it's real. You know, like I'm really, look, it's the.

of the needle through my bicep. What's the answer? A needle's going through my bicep. So his stuff's real. Some of it, yeah. Some of it's real. Like it's just you know the area to stick said needle that will avoid nerves, you know, or whatever. Yeah.

So that's not bullshit. So I really like stuff like that, you know. And I do some of that stuff in my show. Really? Yeah, no. You do like real, real legit stuff. Yeah, like old side show stunts and stuff like that. Wow.

You know, like, you'd have to, you'd have to really kind of see it. You want to see some magic? Yeah, I want to see some magic. I do. I really do. I feel like my inner child needs that right now. What we're going to do. I'm going to do a little ass magic poem.

Okay. Ass magic. Sherry, do you want to sit next to Jack and hold the mic? Great. Okay, here's what we're going to do. A little ass magic poem for all the kids at home. I love poetry. Poetry inspires me.

Here, I'm going to stand and do this. Okay. We'll stand and do this. We probably need to find the best way. Okay. Stand together. Okay. There is.

Hello, everybody. Staying on the face. Let's see it. The two of hearts goes where I fart. Uh-huh. The queen of clubs. Other side. It's a little rough.

Then they switch real fast. Whoa. Now the queen is in my ass. No way. No way. Hold on. I'll do an actual little routine. This is my kind of magician.

How did that happen? How did that happen? I'll do an actual little routine. now, okay? So listen, I'm starting to think Ask Magic is old news. Uh-huh. Not for me, but you're the professional.

Not for me either, never. I'm starting to think, it's old news. I want to be a serious performer. All right, all right, I believe in you. So I'll let you in a little magic secret. Oh my God, look at what he did with his hands. Yeah, I know. So fat.

Oh, my God. Ladies, just kidding. Hannah B, you're the one for me. Oh, shout out Hanna B. Yeah. Ladies, you can't have this. You can't have this. That.

Oh, look at that. You want some of this ladies? No. And I'm a lesbian and that is. Oh, Sherry's going to slip off her seat. Wow. All right, Sherry, Sherry, here's what we're going to do. Let's go.

Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to let you on a little magic secret, okay? There's a tricky thing magicians do called a force. Okay, a force. It's basically they use psychological tactics to try to get you to pick a certain card. Does that make sense? You're picking up what I'm throwing down. Gotcha.

Yep. Mentalist type stuff. Yeah, I want you to know you have a free choice of card. Yeah, I see you flicking it out right now. Oh, I don't know. No, no, no. That was stupid. That was stupid, Sherry.

She's not stupid? Shut the fuck up. No, no, I am a little retarded. What I was doing was stupid. Oh, okay. I thought you wanted me to pick that, bro. Yeah, that was the bit. That was the bit.

Oh. I was waiting for the trick. I'm like, what the fuck? We're so dumb. I'm like, uh. It was a bit. I was saying. don't feel influence to pick a card.

And there's one card jutting out like that, you know, it's a little bit. Yeah. All right. You fucking got us. Does that bit do well? That they, it killed in this room, Sherry. That was fucking great. I loved it.

No, we're going to have you take out a card, okay? Let's do it. Just touch the back of one of the cards. Just touch the back. Yeah. That one? Okay. Pull it out show to the beautiful people at home.

Do I look at now? The beautiful people. The beautiful people can gunk. Oh, that's me. I know. Yeah. You ain't going to find out yet. Okay.

Come on, Mr. Magic, man. Here's what I want you to do. I want you just give me a number one through ten. Eight. Eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Eighth card down. I'm fucking good.

All right. Fucking good. Okay. Number eight, boom. Four diamonds. That wasn't it? Nope. That wasn't it at all.

No. Nope. No. Cut this and let's do it again. Don't tell me it's going to be in your ass. Okay, this is a misdirect. Ready? Here we go.

Here we go. Come on, Jack. No, no, no. Okay. Not the four of diamonds. No. Okay. We're going to try again.

Second try. Will you still love me? Yeah. I will always love. No matter what. Yeah, because space. Close, but no cigar. Close, but no cigarette.

Okay, okay, here's what I want you. It's not the jack. It's not the four diamonds. Touch the back of one of the cards on the table. That one? Mm-hmm. I am the king of ass magic. The misdirect was me saying ass magic's old news.

Watch. No switches. We take the four diamonds. No funny slate of hand. Alica, asshole. Ready? Yeah. Using me a teeth?

Oh my God, Sherry. What happened? That was crazy. How is it possible? Am I the jack of your heart now, audience? Oh my God. Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

That was nuts. All right, now make this ping pong ball disappear in your ass. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Can you hold the mic again? I'll teach you how to do this. Watch, we take the ping pong ball. Shut up Do it again

Okay It's called a French drop So you take the ball You appear that you're grabbing it But you retain it in the other hand Like this Yeah yeah So it looks like

It's gone But yeah no That's a little You learn something Yeah You learn something So fast too though Wow

Hold on let me try Wait Alika Zam Alcazou Exactly Hey. God damn, that was awesome. I'm having so much fun.

Yeah. Oh, that is so much fucking fun. What else he got? What else he got up your ass? So much fun. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, we'll do this.

We'll do this. I'm going to actually show you one of my favorite tricks. Yes. This one, this one, it dates back to the olden days. The olden days. So basically this was done. This is one of the first tricks, what not. Do you want, I've done this trick where I've made up a story almost about love.

Do you want the love version or do you want me to just see what degenerate things come to my mind? Oh my God. That's a hard, that's hard. Degenerate? Like a freestyle? Yeah, yeah, I'll freestyle. Okay, yeah. Show the folks in TV land.

what's in that demented sick mind of yours. What you have under that slash hat. Un. They. I don't know what comes after twa, but four. Four rings. Object to this trick is very simple. Solid rings.

Solid passes through solid. Just like that. Right. Watch. Just as easily as they come apart. You could rub. Just like that. Hold on watch.

You can give a little twist and just like that. They relink. Take these two. Give a little tap and they link together just like that. I'm going to go like this. I'm going to go like this so you can see perfectly. Watch. Here's what I want you to do.

We're going to have to get creative with this. Hold the ring like this. Like this? Like so I could have. Let's see. How do I do this with one hand? I need to get creative. Let's do a cooperation.

You hold one side like this. Sherry, you hold one side like this. This is, this is. No, no, no, one, just one ring. Just one ring. No, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Yeah, yeah. Just you, just you.

Hold them like this. Hold them like this. Just one. Yeah, yeah, you got it. You got it. One in the front. Two in the back. You ever been there before?

Yeah. One. Two. Nope. Did I hit your thumb? Okay. Wow. Wow.

Wow. One in the pink, two in the stink. Oh my God, bro. How? Two in the middle. One on the bottom. Yes. You've been there?

A few times. I miss it too. We call that a lucky Pierre. Yeah. I don't even know that. Gay sex move. Okay. Watch.

Watch. I'm going to do it no hands. This might not work. Genuinely might not work. One. Two. Nope. See it didn't work.

You could do it. Okay. I know you can do it. You can do it. You can do it. shit if this is. I know you can do it. You need to lose your shit if this is.

I don't know how this works, but this is crazy. Two. Nope, Nope. You can do it. You can do it. Thirds a try. Thirds a try.

Thirds a time. It's my first time working with this prop in a minute. You're nailing it. We are dumb and impressed. No, no, no. Keep it. It's all a part of the show. Part of the process.

One. Two. Magic's made. No, no. Okay. Fort try. For try. If this doesn't work, I'm going to just do it the easy way.

No, no. Keep going. No, shit. No, I know you can do it. I know you can do it. It looks so sick. This is all part of the bit. This is all part of the bit.

You did it. No. No, no, no. It links no hands. It looks so sick. But I've never fucked up this many times in a row. It's all part of the show. One, two.

No. Fifth time. It's supposed to look like, it's supposed to look like boom. Oh, no. It's supposed to look like. His world is unraveling. It's supposed to look like boom like that. It links, but I fucked it up.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Watch. One ring on links just like that. Another ring unlinks just like that. Now, take the final ring just like that. Oh, my God.

It looks like you stole hoop earrings off a Latina outside of a bodega. Bamboo earrings at least two pairs. Transfer the mic from my... The bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe. Let's go. Bigger. Knockers. No, but I do like tricks.

Let's go. We love tricky. Tricky Ricky, yeah. All right, Slicky Ricky, tricky, Ricky. Let's go. So I want you to take the mic and what's your dominant hand? Right. Right?

Right? Mm-hmm. You're going to tap one, two, three. Okay, one, two, three. Hard or like regular? Regular, regular. Okay. Tell me what regular looks like.

One, two, three. Yeah, that's going to work. Okay. And it's going to link on. Ready? How many times we'll hit three? One, two, three. One, two, three.

Try it again. One, two, three. Hey, my baby, y'all mess around. Yeah. You know, my God. Oh, my God. You did it. You needed the power of Andre 3,000.

I know. Watch grand finale. Take the ring, give it a little spin just like this. It does 70 somersaults in the air. Just like that unlinks. Comes right back on. That's the ring. How did you do that?

Thank you. That's crazy. God. This is like a homemade 23 of me. and I just found out I have no African in me because if I did, I'd be running up and down the stairs excited. That's the way you judge. That's the way you judge the, the,

oh my God, that was crazy. Thank you so much. I love that. Thank you for letting me be a magician's assistant, everybody. Yeah. I know. I feel like Vano White out this one of a little. You linked them.

You linked them. I know, and then I turned for one second and they were linked. Dude, you should take Sherry on the road. to be your assistant. Because like with everything you have, like you don't... It's a good idea. You're not like a Vegas David Copperfield, like magician's assistant bikini. You need a Sherry.

You're a new wave of kind of magician. Yeah. You're not a clean magician. Yeah, you're a magician for the people. Yeah. And the people all have traumatic brain injuries. Yeah. Or they used heroin at 14 and their brain stop growing.

Yeah. And Sherry's the holitarian. Exactly. Magician assistant for you. We love a ho. That's fucking sick, dude. Man. Now, okay, question.

I love that. No, no, no. I don't want people to know at home how that's done. Okay. Fight about it in the comments. Let us know if you think you know these tricks. Yeah. Yeah.

What are... So, like, when you're on the road and you do a show, how long is the act? And are you evolving the act each time, or is it... So it's about an hour. I'm just an odd guy doing odd jobs. All right? I'm Ian Fidance.

Hey, how are you? And each week, I'm in different towns across the country doing stand-up comedy and to keep me from rotting in my bed or putting a gun to my head. I get you to teach me how to do your job. Ian do, an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com slash Ian Fidance Comedy every other Tuesday produced by YMH. I got a rip a fart too, bro. Let it loose, toot, toot.

I'll see you out there. How long you've been working here? My show There's a lot of improv So sometimes we go a little longer You know If it's permittable by the club But

Do you have openers? Yeah Okay cool Open magicians Magicians? Magicians or Comics Most of the time

Just whoever Local Warming up the crowd Like Okay Yeah no I've worked with like I have one guy

I usually work with Nick Popa Okay Magician kind of thing Oh cool It's like more of like not like necessarily like

hyper serious but it's more like magic magic than I'm up there what's magic magic I'm in my mind yeah question is he saw in a girl in half like in a box no women are getting mutilated but like damn I want to see happen cut her cut her a little bit yeah we have a big alpha man podcast internalize

homophobia and internalize you. If you're that type of guy, I don't want you at my shows or taking in any of my content. Go fuck yourself. What? You take Sigma music? You know what that is?

No. It's the music, the backing track of the Alpha podcast. You know the bong don't don't don't don't that music. So when they do their clips. But I thought a Sigma was the

bad version of that. I thought Sigma's in office don't like each other. No, Sigma's. Sigmas are. guys that alphas get along with. Sigma is above.

Easy with that Elon. Hello there, Jack. So, so, so wait. Sigma's above alpha? Sigma was a bad. Alpha's didn't like, I thought Sigma was bad. Sigma's good. I think Sigma is good. Okay.

What about Ligma? Ligma? Ligma. Ligma? I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

You make a clip though. Here's what I was saying. You make a clip. You take some alpha music. Right. behind it. Okay. And the clip is me complaining that magicians don't cut women in half anymore.

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's like, that's a clip right there. Wait, they don't do it anymore? It's not a thing anymore.

I mean, there's some that do it. I don't know. It's corny to you. But no. Dude, a new world, like,

magician, you should make a woman's penis disappear. Oh. And then give it. back if they regret it later. Yeah. There you go. D-transition.

D-transition. The magician right here. You could have something for everybody. You could be the uniting force of the world, bringing out this, trans, queer, strength, all together. All together in a beautiful hodgepodge. Who knew the final uniter in the world, force of love, would be another man's ass. Dude's rock.

Yeah. It's true. No, so what the clip would look like a little bit, at least in my head. Uh-huh. It's like I'm complaining that magicians don't mutilate women anymore, and it's just a shame. And that was magic right there. It was magic. I knocked that over with my brain.

With your mind. Big smiley in the Ghostbuster soundtrack, magic, great song. Do you believe in magic? Magic. I could do this right now. Okay, do it, do it, do it. Let's go. Shoot it to camera.

Do it. Go. Back in the day, magicians, they used to cut up women. They used to mutilate them. Now women are taking over the magic show. Boo. Every time I go to the magic show, it's always some woman. Boo.

Women are doing magic now. What happened back in the day? We want to see men do everything with their hands, not women. And we're straight. We love watching men do everything. It's better in my head. I don't know if that's going to. You nailed it.

Yeah, thank you. Stop questioning. yourself, you got this, bro. Yeah, you're good. Yeah. You're good. You're an ass magician, not a rethink magician. Right. Come on. Right. Right. That had, um, I know it's corny, but you, you ever like pull rabbits out of it or like, you know. Oh yeah. That was like, yeah, like do you, do you incorporate, like is that, that that was a good question. Like old school, you know. Oh, yeah. Like, so like, like, like the ring trick for instance, I just did you. I do like a version of that at my stage show. Okay. And like a lot of my state show is like classic things that magician

used to do, but done in my very own strange way. Like a... Right, exactly. A trick where they cut and restore a rope. I do a version of that trick, but the entire trick I talk about circumcision. Exactly. All right. It's my own little spin on things, you know?

Or you can pull the rabbit vibrated out of your hat. You know, the rabbit like, yeah. Is that like a brand? Well, it's not a brand. It's like a tight. It's a tight, right? Yeah. It's like a vibrant.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it's like two in the, what, two in the front and one in the back. Two in the pink, one in the state. Oh, okay. Oh, I didn't know that. Two in the pink, one in the stick. Well, it depends on how you flip it.

You know, I don't know which way. You could do two in the stink and one in the pink? You can do that. I'm dyslexic. You ever hear of the minivan? Two in the front, three in the back. Oh. That's the Astro vane right there.

That's cool. Yeah. Noise. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. My show, though, is like, it's what I want my first hour. We're filming a little special on 9-11.

It wasn't done like, oh, ho-ho, funny. We're doing it on 9-11. It just happened to be on 9-11. Yeah, it's a good day. Where are you taping it? L.A. Nice. Great theater.

Well, and you're doing that on 9-11, and then on 9-12, you're doing another. I'm proposing, yeah. Amazing. Yeah, because we'll be in L.A. It will be all nice. It will be all beautiful. Do you have a plan? Yes.

Yes. What is it? So, okay, so basically a lot of my videos, if somebody was to stumble out my page, a lot of it's like me shirtless in my messy bedroom doing a trick with the camera, you know, half naked. And that might sound like, you're like, what the fuck? No, in my mind, I'm thinking like, what kind of body do you have? That's all. Yeah, no, very milk baggish. Like melted ice cream.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, that's fine. We love that. We love that. Hannah, Hannah B, the one for me. Yeah. Oh, Hannah B. I know. To film videos for me.

So I'm going to be like, hey, babe. Baby, can you film this video? Yeah. And Hannah's going to be like, oh, fuck, okay. And is she over it? Is she tired of filming the videos? Or is she super supportive? No. Well, Hannah is super supportive, but it is grueling because I do like 90 takes. Of course. Oh, shit. Okay.

Like I have, I legitimately have like OCD and I do like so many takes. Right. You know, so basically I'm going to be like, Hannah, can you film this video? And I'm going to show a little bag empty. And I'm going to be like, nothing inside the bag. I'm going to make something up. Like I'm going to be like, I'm going to make something that sounds like it would be in a video of mine. Like a nine months supply of antidepressants appear.

Okay. Okay. Because that's like a video I might make. Some Paxil. Yeah. Yeah. No. What meds you on?

What are you working with? Venlifaxine. Which is a fixer. That sounds like a dinosaur. What is that? Abilify. I've heard of that. I've heard of that.

Trazadone. Oh, yeah. They used to give me that in rehab a lot. The tracadone shuffle. The shuffle? Yeah. Because it makes you fucking. In rehab when they gave me that, I was just a zombie.

Yeah. A zombie. Yeah. I've been on Trazodon to help me sleep at night. I haven't been taking that. much late and I haven't been sleeping well but it's I don't sleep through the night I don't get good night sleeps and when I take my like a little bit of tracidone I can sleep through the night and it's the only thing that doesn't make me like super tired I was gonna say when you wake up do you

feel like hung over like a tracidone hungover no I like wake up in the morning and I'm like refresh because I'm actually getting sleep and I'm not up and like exhausted yeah so that's great But then I also take a medication called like Baclifin. Because another drug I was taking was called Phenibute, another one of these gray market drugs. And Baclophon is essentially the suboxin of that. Oh, okay. It's an evolved suboxin? No, no.

It's like, you know how opiates have suboxin? Well, first there was methadone, which is what I'm on, the dinosaur, OG shit. And then Naltrexone, Suboxin, and now this is what you're saying. Yeah, well, backlophon. It's like they give it to you, I guess, for benzo type. Oh, Benzo, like Xanax and stuff. Yeah, so it's like the, the, it's like Suboxin for Benzzo. Yeah.

Oh, okay. I guess. Okay. So I'm on like a long term, like slow, slow, slow taper of that. Yes. So, yeah. Same with the methadone. I feel you.

Yeah. But how I'm proposing, though, is I'm going to be like, yo, I'm going to make my psych meds appear. And with a bag. It's like in the bag. Right. Nothing's in the bag. Hannah's going to be filming it. I reach in the bag.

Pull out the ring. Get on one knee. Do the whole little speech. Oh, that's so cute. Because Hannah's going to have the POV. Yeah. Of getting proposed to.

Yeah. Now, I hope this isn't something that you have to do 90 takes for. It's got to be one take, bro. That's a good. That was a good one. I know, babe. I'm surprised you get.

Yeah. Let's do this again. That's great. Great. Oh, that's wonderful. And you guys have been together 10 years. Yeah. How long have you lived together? Six, five.

Okay, cool. And she was with you through the shit. That's great. Yeah. Wow. That's awesome. Well, the shit was real crazy because, like, I was taking all these drugs, right? Oh.

And I tapered down because I signed up to do a professional boxing match, my first one. Okay. So I tapered down off all the drugs, do the fight. win the fight, get paid for the fight, you give an attic to check. You're going to have to check on the attic because that check on it. I like that. Cash.

Going to Kensington. Yeah, so I weren't crazy. Yeah. And from doing the fight, what my trainer used to do was he would take me to the hoods of Cleveland and have me spar like these jacked fucking years. Yeah. Like, Wait,

like bum fights? Like, No, no, it was in a ring. It was in a ring. Oh, okay.

It wasn't like you pulled up on the street. It was like, really, really like jack kids. And they were constantly beating me up. And I ended up. And there were amateur boxers as well? Yeah.

Or pro boxer? They broke my nose so bad. Were you wearing head gear, mouth gear? Sure. Okay. But when they hit in like a truck. Yeah,

of course. You scream and fuck. Yeah. Basically. Basically. I got my nose broken so bad. I would get these massive... Or you look like a cuck!

Just saying, sorry. Anyway. You get these massive hematomas. Yes. The blood. Yeah. Like swelling of blood. So what I would do, like a very smart person.

I was on drugs, you know? Like, while I was getting them, I would pop them myself and drain the blood myself. Go. Jack. I know. I'm fucked up.

Oh, it just made my lip curl up. It's okay. So I got... that infected infection spread to the bloodstream, sepsis. Cepsis. So I went to the hospital for the sepsis, didn't tell them I was detoxing off opiates and beds.

Because you wanted to get opiates, so you didn't want to tell them, right? Right. Right. Smart. So they, obviously I didn't get any. So I was detoxing in the hospital while I had sepsis. And I started, I couldn't sleep no matter what they gave me.

because coming off two drugs at once. So I started to hallucinate. Yep. You know. What were you hallucinating? I was hallucinating getting, well, one thing was I was listening to a bunch of podcasts during that time. Okay. And I was hallucinating that I was like on different podcasts.

Oh, Jesus. So I was like, Hannah, I was just on whatever podcast. Like I remember one of them was like the time, H3. I said I was on H3. Oh, God. I was on age three. Are you one to the ability? Sorry.

I don't get it. He has a stutter. Oh, okay. I don't watch me. He's got like ticks. He's got like ticks. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Ticks. But yeah, no. I hallucinated I was there. I hallucinate I was on other ones. And then I started to hallucinate, like getting sent into like the fifth dimension and seeing all the different versions of myself. And I remember one thing was like I was the close. just one of the Jack Radies in the multiverse to fix my drug problem, but I just didn't quite get

there, you know? I just didn't quite get there. I fell short. And because of that, I couldn't go on living and I was going to die. It was what I came to find out. And then I had to walk through a hallway and that the end of the hallway was nothingness, you know? And it sounds like some, like, crazy acid trip.

You know, but this was all just from sleep deprivation. And were you in the hospital this whole time? Yes. So at least you were like getting like medic, you were like medically detoxing without them knowing. Yeah. Crazy. Some semblance of it.

Crazy. And I remember in my hallucinations walking through the hallway and then just like falling into a black void. And then I don't remember much after that, but I woke up strapped. to the hospital bed and they were like you were screaming and and not once were you like i'm detoxing i did eventually say oh wow during that process and so what happened um they the one doctor was kind of a dick really yeah he was like yeah we're not going to give you anything for the like we're worried you're

going to cheat medications now or something so we're not giving you anything so i still didn't sleep for like a couple days after that that's not ethical to do that Yeah, one of the people, like, gave me, like, Trazadone, and that was how I started taking Trasdone. Yeah. Yeah, no, it was a, it was a trip. It was a trip. That's fucking nuts.

So how long after that was the sepsis taking care of, and then you got the treatment you needed? So I remember it was, like, initially five days of hallucinations or whatever. Five days? Yeah, like, not sleeping. Wow. You know, the hallucinations building and building every day. God.

This is going to sound weird, but I remember that, like, first started out the hallucinations with, like, I would see, like, boobs, like on the wall. All different kinds or just one kind? All kinds of boobs. Hell yeah. You know, like just naked people. Yeah. I was seeing naked people. Yeah.

Bush and everything. Yeah. Oh, right. It was like I was watching. Spice Channel. Like, you probably don't know what it is. Like, this is how traditional people live or whatever. Oh, it was more, like, it was more tribal.

Tribal. Primal, like it wasn't, okay. So that's how it started. Like watching Apocalyptic, uncensored. Yeah. I got to see the movie for free. My brain pirated it for me. No.

Nice. Nice. Yeah, no. So it started out of his boobs. And then it slowly evolved to like podcasts and then weird, ethereal, you know. Yeah. shit essentially and so when when you got through that and you were like look I've been on drugs and they did they then put you in a treatment center yeah oh okay like a 30 day all right

and I was like looking rough yeah because I was real like I lost so much weight I didn't eat for like I was on the drug diet you know mm-hmm I got real skinny and and Like, yeah, no, I spent 30 days. And you've been off opiates ever since? Yes. Congratulations. How long? How long you've been clean?

It's like, I, so I personally, like, can't keep track of time. But still, give her take two years, three years. Congratulations. That's awesome. But I don't, I think, like, if I wrecked my brain hard enough, I couldn't remember the exact date. But, like, I remember I would always get, like, when I was keeping diligent track, I would always, like, it really.

in my head about like hitting milestones in the sense of like, am I cured now? Like, you know, stupid stuff that people always get, you know? Yeah. So. I don't fuck with you.

Yeah. You have a disease that there is no cure for. Yeah. And your little magic isn't going to save you either. But the only thing that can save you is the one true God, Jesus Christ. Your higher power. Yeah. What's that difference?

So you're in smart recovery. I've been hearing this more and more. What is smart recovery? And I'm wondering what the difference that is between old-fashioned being in the rooms of recovery. Tell them the one main thing. It's, I hope I get the one-law-law-year. It probably is right. Go ahead.

It's based on cognitive behavioral therapy. So it's basically about building and maintaining motivation, coping with urges, managing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. and living a balanced lifestyle or the four points. Does it cost money? No? Really? I mean, there's a hat, you know, like AA.

Right. There's also no God. Yeah. Like step one, step one is like admitting powerless and then step two, immediately higher power. Step three, turning our will and the lives over to the care of God. Like God, God, God, God, God, God. There's no God in any of these steps, right?

No, no. It's your cognitive belief in yourself. There's people in my groups that are like extremely religious. There's people that are not, you know. But your steps don't have that, like AA and NA. Yeah, correct. It's your cognitive belief. Are there steps or they're like worksheets?

There's worksheets. Oh, okay. Interesting. There's different tools that do all sorts of things. And for me and personally, like the way I looked at my addiction, right, is like I had this wall in my brain, right? And the wall was drug use. And once that wall got torn down, it was getting invaded by. the depression, the trauma, all this shit.

Of course. You know, because I was just pushing all this shit back and it was behind the wall. Yes. And now all this other stuff is flooding in. So I've really been benefiting from the approach of like very much so like therapy based. I see one-on-one therapy, you know. Talk therapy. And, yeah, DBT, CBT, all the letters.

Right, LGBT. X, Y, ABC, LMNOP, Q. QR. We love trans people. Wow. So how can people find smart recovery centers? Because with the meetings of recovery in terms of AA and NA and everything, you know, they primarily take place in like church basements, things like that.

Like where do these take place and how can people find them? Good question. So there's the smart recovery app. You could go plug in your location. They'll show you a list of meetings. near you. They do online meetings, in-person meetings. It's, uh, there's like, you know how with A.A., there's like all the different

meeting finder websites. Yeah, of course. They have like essentially their own app and then like the website you could find meetings on. Interesting. And there's like, uh, with the online ones, I've actually like, sometimes online ones, you know, you'll have like some dude like hitting his vape and then all of a sudden there'll be a Zoom bomber. You know about Zoom bombers?

No. Do you hear that? Yeah. That was wild during the beginning of COVID. Just fuck your meeting up. Is that what I'm thinking? Yeah, people try to open meetings and they would go in or on, on Zooms, they would go in and show their dick or like yell the N-word or like crazy shit. Start drinking.

Just what they're doing a lot of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they have that on lock. We're smart. Well, they learned with meetings to like make them closed meetings in private. But God, you were a gorgeous man. So happy, side note, by the way. He loves that you're at home.

But I was in this meeting, and it was like a phone call on Zoom. It was almost like a group phone call. And this woman is sharing and she's in Poughkeepsie and she's elderly and she's like, this is not funny, but this is, it was like in old school Howard Stern prank call. Like he might as well have just said Bobabooie Howard Stern's penis Like literally This woman is like

I'm alone in Poughkeepsie And and I don't want to drink But I'm so lonely that I'm afraid That I eventually will And this guy just gets along He's like I'm in Poughkeepsie I'm jerking off reading the big book I'll hang out with you in Poughkeepsie

I got a fat cock at Poughkeepsie Come fuck me and we'll read the big book I love that I love he said the big book too Oh my Oh my God. Yeah, it was gnarly. Oh, my gosh.

Man, that would have made me laugh, though, you know? Yeah. Do you have a sponsor and stuff? No. So there's like, basically, some meetings do, like, a buddy system. Right, okay. Where it's like, almost like an ally ship kind of thing. Yeah.

It's not everywhere. There's people who are, like, close to my sponsor where, like, I'll call them, like, you know, if I'm ever going through it. You know, if there's ever any, like, close calls kind of thing. So who takes you through the worksheets and the actual therapy? So there's all a facilitator to every meeting. And you could go to them, you know. Right. But what do the meetings entail?

Like, I'm sorry if I'm not interrogating. I'm curious too. I'm curious and I'm sure there's other people at home that are interested. Yeah. And A.A. may not be their flavor or their jam. And I'm in the mind of like whatever can get you to stop doing the thing was killing you do it. But I'm interested in like the some of the meet like do you all do group works

you together like is it a topic or is there literature that you read? So there's a smart recovery workbook. Right. You know. And basically the structure of most meetings I'd say is you do a check in around the room. What's been going on? Very focused on you, you know. And there's a time limit of course.

Yeah. Yeah. And here's what struggles I'm going through. Could be addiction when they do or not. You know, most of the time it does revolve around the topic of substance use disorder. And then we do a worksheet together from the workbook guided by said facilitator. And the facilitators have to go through. It's like a certain amount, certain amount of hours of training, you know.

Like a life coach or like, you. Something like certified like that. Right. Okay. Do the shares, I can imagine the shares get off the wall. Like, I mean, that's how it is in any recovery meeting where there's like no barrier to entry. You just walk in anyone. I was in a meeting the other day in this fucking, it was crazy.

Dude, he was like talking and he's like, you know, I still PTSD from the first World Trade Center bombing in 93. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was in the building and, you know, nobody even talks about that. People forgot that one. And now people forget 9-11 to the point, well, we have a Muslim mayor. And this mother fight and everybody, like, okay, okay. Time's up.

Time's up. It's like, there's nothing to do with drinking. Time's up. Chill, chill, funny. Dude, I wouldn't be able to keep it together. Everybody in the meeting is like, oh, my God. And I'm in the back like, ah. Just cackling, lambing.

Good, incredible, incredible. I loved it. I thought it was so funny. That is. I love. I love. I would have to walk out. That's like pure comedy though.

Oh, yeah. In the sense of like, nobody wrote that, you know. Yeah. No. That's just like some genuine guy. Dude. Yeah. That's like a genuine guy being the most funny person.

Oh, yeah. Unintentionally. The very first meeting I went to out of rehab, they were like, look, get to a meeting. Get your hand up. Say you got out of rehab. You need a sponsor. Yeah. And it was the beginning of the meeting.

And it was like, are there any announcements for AA? And I didn't know that that's not the time that you're supposed to be like. But I was like, I need help. I just got out of meeting. Blah, blah, blah. And then I had just gotten out of rehab. I'm at this meeting. I want to like do things right.

And then the guy after me raised his hand and he was toothless. I used to go to cities and like, or meeting in the city of Wilmington. Oh, I remember. with like the hardcore. Shoutout Triad, 1215. Hell you. Watchin through extension. But they,

this, so I do that and everyone's like, okay, okay, wait till, wait till later. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then the guy after me is wearing a suit jacket, much like yours, no shirt underneath, missing teeth. And he goes, my name is Brian. I cannot stop drinking.

And I am going to write a movie. And then he just left the meeting. So I look like me and him. He left the meeting. And he just walked out. And I'm like, oh my God, me and this guy look like two crazy people. I swear. I'm not like Brian.

I need help. We need two different types of help. I used to cross share. Like I didn't know. That was like my first crowd. Oh, Sherry, not good. Yeah. I mean, I'm 13, 14 years old.

And like, I'd be like, you got wet brain. You drank too much. You got wet brain. Like, you're a slut. You know, like I used to cross shit. Yeah. And I'd be like, it was bad. It was bad.

Lots of people's said they have wet brain, but smart recovery. Does smart stand for something? Self-management and recovery training. Whoa. All right. I was wondering why they call it smart. Because like I sometimes say like it stands for sadness mumbling about recovery together. Oh.

I like that. I like that. Or sick mothers. Sick. I like sick. All right. Today. Yeah.

Drag it out. All right. What do you say? Sick mothers are all right today But no The reason I made that up Sorry I just want to touch your little toe beans I'm sorry Glenn

You just swatted at me It's okay He's in meditative state I know I know I just haven't seen him in so long And I just were squeezing kiss every part of him I'm usually by myself with him And then we're together with him So he's in his glory right now

He's like and Sherry and dad are here Oh my God Yeah sorry But people think sorry yeah It's like somehow like anti-AA and like evil AA. No, my therapist told me about it. So like I, yeah,

it's all unity. And I saw I made up that sense for Satan is mumbling about recovery. Yeah, no, it's just fucking, yeah. I was just fucking, yeah. You ever heard that Bill W. Was on acid?

Yes, was on acid when he wrote the steps or when he wrote the big book, I don't know. Him and the other guy. No, he did acid to give himself like another spirit. spiritual awakening and like a spiritual experience. Okay. But, yeah, no.

Dr. Bob was pretty on the level. Bill Wilson was kind of like an egomaniac and he would cheat on his wife, Lois. And it's fascinating because the big book is like, well, now and, you know, the big book had been around and they haven't changed anything since like 1936. It's been a long time. And that's like a big part of AA. It's like it's worked for that long. We're not changing anything. We're not updating because once you make changes, you have to make a million.

changes and then who's to say blah blah blah and they still have a gSO general service office every meeting is like fully self-funded and everything whatever but um the the big book is is very from the male lens like there's a chapter called to the wives and it's like support your man be there for him let him act how he acts and your job is to just be supportive no matter what what's wrong with that I'm just kidding. Bill Wilson opened his home up to addicts and mainly

alcoholics. And for six months he opened his house to drunks and they lived there. And a guy hung himself. There were fights. People would drink. A guy set his mattress on fire. And he wasn't working at the time.

He lived off of his wife, Lois, her seamstress pay. So she is the unsung hero of Alux Anonymous. And there's really no mention of her in the book and you kind of have to do a lot of research to find out this stuff.

But the tenant and the backbone of AA hinges on Lois in that after six months Bill Wilson opening his house to these, you know, dregs of society, destroying

his house, drinking and dying and everything. He says the Lois, he goes, there's I don't know what I did wrong for six months, I could not keep one person sober. I have failed. This doesn't work. And she was like, yeah, but Bill, you stayed sober.

And that's what matters. Exactly. And so that became the tenant of AA of like, you don't sponsor people. You don't bring people to AA to save them. You do it to save yourself. Helping other people saves you. And in turn, you learn that you, in order to keep it, you got to give it away. Service.

And that service, yeah, completely. hinges on Lois and there's no mention of it at all. I am just learning it. It's a big book. I am. I am appalled right now. I'm just learning this. Lois, a woman is the one who pretty much invented service in A.A.,

which is what keeps everybody's over. Yeah. Wow. I knew it, but I do know the extent that's wild. That's crazy. The history of A.A. is so wildly fascinating. Yeah. And I mean, when.

area. Yeah. Akron, Ohio. I've been to Dr. Bob's house. The house. I've said the surrender prayer in his bedroom on my name.

That was like a very nice moment. Oh, that's pretty scary. But they still have in the house where he would hide his bottles. And the typewriter in the kitchen table that his daughter, he dictated the big book to her

that she typed in the kitchen. It's, it's anyone out there, if you get the chance, go to Akron, Ohio to Dr. Bob's house. It's like A.A.

Mecca. It's nice. But, you know, the history is so interesting and fascinating and just how it comes from the Washingtonians and the Oxford groups. And, you know, this guy, Ebby, who was from this, like, rich family that was sent overseas to work with Freud and Young and everything. And they could not save him. And then, like, Ebby was a friend of Bill Wilson's. And he got, he got, like, the best therapy that money could buy. and he went over on a ship to get help from Young and everything.

And then Carl Young and Freud and you're still fucked up. And then he, by the time he got back to America, he had already gotten fucked up on the ship. And then he got sober and went to Bill Wilson's house. And he, Bill Wilson slid over a bottle of rum and was urgent. And Abby had this glow in his eyes and push it back and was like, no thanks. And he was like, wait, if you got. sober. I can do this. And then like through

that he started to abstain. And then he was at a conference in a hotel, I believe in Ohio. And he heard the merriment of gay laughter in the room next to him in this like conference room. And he was towing with the idea of going to the bar. He was going to get a milk and a whiskey. And he's like surely just one milk and whiskey. Couldn't affect me or blah, blah, blah. And instead he got on the phone and called a rectory and said,

I need to talk to, because he knew that Ebby talking to him kind of kept him sober for that night. Ebby stayed at his house and talked to him through the night, and that was the first night Bill hadn't drank. So he was away, and he called the rectory, and he goes, I need to talk to someone in the hospital with the DTs, who's your drunkest person in town? And they sent him to the hospital where Bill, Dr. Bob was in the bedroom,

in the hospital bed. and Bill Wilson walks in and Dr. Bob goes Forget it, I'm a lost cause You can't save me Everyone's tried to save me I'm gonna die an alcoholic death And Bill Wilson goes, let me stop you right there

I'm not here to save you I'm here to save me And Dr. Bob was like Whoa, who the fuck are you? This is strange I've never heard someone talk like this before And then they stayed the night And share their experience

And then they learned Working with other alcoholics kept each other sober and that's like how, you know, so... Drunks help drunks. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but the thing with Lois happened prior.

But the history of it's like so fascinating and like, you know, Abby, like the story of Ebby is like pretty, pretty crazy. But, you know, I don't know. It's all coming back to me because I've seen the movie. Okay, yeah. The James Wood. Right.

They do a lot of liberties to make, Bill Wilson looked like such a gentle saint. He was a pretty ego-driven fucking jerk guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, well, like my first meeting, like it was like cartoonish like bad.

Like it was raining outside and it was in this therapy office but I was pulling on the wrong door and an angry person came out like, are you trying to, what are you doing? I was like, a smart recovery. Yeah. And they were like,

what? You know? Yeah. And then I eventually made it to the meeting and like there, there was three people at the meeting because it was torrential outside, you know. Right. And they just like, everybody there, like, gathered around and essentially talked to me for, it was an hour-long meeting. We stayed there for two hours and they just focused on, you know. My God.

Helping you. Yeah. Mine was, I went in and this, I thought it was anonymous. So I told everybody my name was Tom. And then this guy came up to me afterwards like, are you Ian? You played baseball with my son. I was like, I thought this was anonymous. I like walked out.

I was like, this shit sucks. You know me here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Dude, this has been great. Thank you so much. Man, I had so much fun. So fun.

Why don't you tell the people at home where they can find you and what you got going on? Sure. Wait, can I say one more thing? Say it. Okay, okay, cool. So I just did a boxing match with, uh, with dual arena Who was that?

They're a fighting promotion. So dual arena is a They're a brand They're a fighting brand Yeah they're a brand Got it And I wanted to make Like a public statement about them

Okay tell the people So basically The co-made event was a neo-Nazi versus a Jew What? I found that out a week before the event And I physically like couldn't pull out because, you know, it's a week before. I hadn't done all this training.

Right. I was just going to make a public statement and say like, go ahead. Nazis are very bad. Yeah. Thank you. We've always said that here. Yeah.

You know, um, that's so fucked up that they would put you in that position. Right. Dude. How do you navigate that when you can't get out of the thing? Hannah is Jewish. And also why the fuck would they put? Why is that an event?

What the fuck world are we living in? People were waving literally. literally swastika flage. Are you serious? Yeah. They were waving at the Kia Center in Orlando. Dude, that's so fucking awful. Yeah, no. Was it performative or for real?

For real. Wow. They were on the side. They were booing the Jewish guy. Did the Jew win? Oh, my God. Oh, no. Did Kanye come out and start rapping?

They picked out like a bad Jewish fighter. Oh, my God. And a talented Nazi. That's so fucking sick. That's a little too far. Even for my taste. Like that's too far. Yeah.

That sucks, man. And it was like, it was, it was, it was all fucked. I wanted to. Did you win your boxing match? I did win my boxing match. Oh, so was that come out or it hasn't come out yet? The fight? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. The fight's live on. How many rounds was it? Three rounds. Only went on, though. So you, you beat him in the first round. Yes. Ding, ding, ding.

You fucking, you fucking nailed it. Good for you. That sucks. I'm sorry. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck those people. Fuck those people into the ground.

Yeah. That's so fucking shitty. I can't imagine what that environment was like. Oh, dude. It was terrible. It was terrible. We were, Hannah and I were the only ones in the crowd screaming like, boo, Nazi. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Everybody else was like, ah, yo, go Hitler, you know. Are you serious? Swear, swear. You can find videos of it. Look up Keoseno Orlando Nazi. How big is this center real quick? want to know how many people.

It's like where the local basketball team plays. Like massive arena. It's an arena. Oh. It's where the Orlando Magic plays? I believe so. Yeah. I've never heard them referred to as the local team.

That's great. This is a basement filled with people who know nothing about sports. I was just like, what? Oh, Glenn! That's terrible. At least you want your fight. Thank you for saying that. Obviously, I was joking.

We don't condone that. It's such a fucking disgusting thing that you even have to fucking say that in this fucking wacky world we live in. But you're the man, dude. Tell them what you want them to check out. Where can they follow you?

Where can they get your tour dates? Let them know. Jack Grady on Punch Up for all my social for all my tour dates. My social media is Jack Grady Magic on everything. We're taping a little comedy special. It's going to come out eventually.

Check out. the ass magic documentary. Whoa. That's available on, it's linked in my punch up. And, uh, yeah, peace love, rock and roll. Peace in the Middle East.

And, uh, have a good one. Peace love Afro Greece. Sherry. What about? Sherry baby 11 on Instagram. Hit me up, guys. Hell yeah. Uh, I Animal 6.9 on Instagram.

Uh, Charlotte, North Carolina, September 17th to 19th. Dallas, Fort Worth, Texas, Addison Improv, October 1st, the 3rd. Let's sell these out. Philly Helium, November 5th to 7th, and San Francisco, Cobbs Comedy Club, December 16th, Sacramento, California, Sack Punchline, December 17th, Pittsburgh Improv, December 31st, to January 2nd. We're putting up dates for 27 right now. I got dates in between there, but those are the big ones.

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