Bein' Ian With Jordan - That's Diesel W/ Jeremiah Watkins & Jason Ellis | Bein' Ian With Jordan Ep147

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

As always , Thanks for watching! Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here ! : https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast Support the show and get your first month of BlueChew free. Use promo code SKA at https://www.bluechew.com  Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code IAN at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/IAN Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ See Jordan Live! : https://punchup.live/jordanjensen WATCH JORDAN’S SPECIAL HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s @jordanjensenlolstop Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/    See Ian Live! : https://punchup.live/ianfidance IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 Follow Jeremiah Watkins: https://www.instagram.com/jeremiahstandup/ https://punchup.live/jeremiahwatkins   @jeremiahwatkins  Follow Jason Ellis Here : https://www.instagram.com/wolfmate/ https://www.patreon.com/ellismate https://thejasonellis.com  https://fathergrind.com Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/ Intro song: “Bein Ian with Jordan” by Wesley Schultz and Ian Fidance Outro song: Title Holder “It Doesn’t Matter”

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian, being Ian. Life is shit, but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live a life being Ian, being Ian with Jordan. Meow.

My balls are totally moving and we are grooving. My balls are burning. Butter is churning. Got y'all yearning for the love you gonna be learning. Welcome back to another episode of Be an Ian with Jordan West Coast style from Jason Ellis Wolfmate Studios. I am your old pal Ian Fy Dance. I'm in the big chair whose owner has no hair.

That's right. I am boxing and feeling great, not fat, feeling good, uninjured to where I could snowboard down a hill if I would like. I am here with my very good friend, Jeremiah Watkins and my other guest today, Jason. I don't have to be here. All right. I could quite easily just leave and go hang out in the pool.

No. Yeah. Do you want to pod from the pool? No, we don't have no plug everything. Pool pod. That does sound cool though. Yeah. Is anyone partying in a pool?

No. We did an episode on trailer tales. Our pool episode is one of people's favorite trailer tales episode. How did you do it? In a kiddie pool. And not get electrocuted. Oh, it's a kiddie pool? Yeah.

Shut up. No, I'm talking a pool pool. You shut up, man. Kiddie pool ain't cool. Is that every floaty toy McGillicuddy? Dude, I'm a villain right now. Why? Because I have the hairless cut and I am just stroking it as I look straight into the camera.

Welcome to being Ian. Welcome to the by squad of being Ian. Welcome to Wesko's being Ian with Jordan with the boys. Jordan is on assignment in New York, meaning she has lost her voice. She sounds like Batman and she is recording a fight and crime special this Saturday. Well, that'll sound good. Yes. If she was a superhero, her superhero power, she would be bitch woman.

Yeah, right. There's a word that I want to use. Oh, Jason. Jason, you're so Australian. Back cunt. That'd be a good movie. Dude, if her and I were super, if her and I were superheroes, we'd be back cunt and annoying boy. Yeah. Wow. That is really good.

Yes. Get to the rent mobile. And it's whatever car I've rented for the week for her to drive and get us lost in. Wait, she's not good at directions? Dude, we were driving back from Providence and somehow we were in Manhattan and then she took us to New Jersey and I'm like, we're in Jersey. She's like, I followed the thing. I'm like, no you didn't. She's like, well, it's fine. We can take a longer route. Does she talk when she drives a lot and then does-

We were podcasting while driving. Oh, then that's kind of not her fault. Women are notorious for not multitasking. Female drivers know survivors said Jeremiah Watkins. And I said, I don't agree, Jeremiah. That was said off camera. Did you say that? Meet me in the comments.

Yeah. Jeremiah said a lot of things. I say a lot of stuff off the comments. Yeah. Jeremiah said a lot of things. I say a lot of stuff off the mic. He was quoting the Kanye song over and over. That bit was annoying. Yeah. My undershirt is a Kanye shirt. I was like, I don't know if he even says it that much in the song. I know. And you only said the first part of the course.

You didn't even say the H.H. So I added a few N words. OK, so make it more fun. Yeah. Yeah. the first part of the course. You didn't even say the H-H. So I added a few N-words, okay. To make it more fun. It's gonna be kind of N-bomb, N-bomb, N-bomb, I'm like, I get it, dude. Yeah, I've never wanted to hear Hitler more in my life. Yeah, right?

I replaced Paris with N-words. It's N-words and N-words when I sing it. Oh, for me, it's N-word France. Oh. N-word Hilton. You know, let's just say the word on three. What? I think that we, yeah, no.

Is the N-word we're saying. So I think that we need to get to the bottom of this. And I feel like I should be the mediator because I'm literally in between you two right now. Before the podcast started, Jason asked you a question. I did not ask him a question, he asked me a question. Ian asked Jason a question. Let me mediate, let me mediate.

Let's get factual around it, okay? You're already trying to dig a hole for me. Ladies, ladies, stop screaming and just do your nails. I do not appreciate that. You're trying to, already you're making it out like I called him fat. Ian asked you the question. Yeah.

He said, well, let's back it up prior. Jason and I boxed out back. You boxed, I held pads. Yes, and I had never, the only other time I had ever put boxing gloves on, I went to your gym and you guys said, spar. and I just got in a ring and sparred with people. Yeah, we took it real easy. Yes, but I've never been taught how to like throw a punch or like what anything is. And then in the backyard, the bet was that I could smoke cigarettes

in between rounds of boxing. It wasn't a bet. It was my theory, cause I know that you will never quit smoking and you wanted to box. And I was like, you don't have the cardio to be a boxer, but if you smoked and boxed at the, at the same time, which I like, maybe you're like, I knew that you would like that, but also maybe your buddy could like somehow figure out how to fight. If you actually spot or had a fight with somebody, then you would have to not smoke at the same time for a few minutes. And that's tough for you, but you could do that. That then your lungs would be like, Oh wow, this is actual oxygen.

I feel like I could keep punching. That's my theory. And how did your theory pan out with me smoking while boxing? The thing I liked about it most is you wanted water more than a cigarette for at least a minute. Pushing my body towards full exhaustion on the brink of being unable to breathe is a good tactic to get me to stop smoking. You realize that that is what your body's going to be like if it makes it to 80. I don't want to make it to 80.

When you get to 70. Rock and roll. Make it to 50. Rock and roll. Wait, you don't want to make it to 50? 50 is when it begins. Really? I have never been more sweet than I am right now. Really?

Yes, really, for sure. You've never been more sweet, like as a person? Or you weren't that sweet in the kitchen You know what you this is where the mediation began taking it there I'm that's that's called honesty from a friend that loves you because I believe that you can be a better Ian than you are Right now. Well what we boxed in the backyard and I learned one twos sixes we boxed in the backyard and I learned one, two, sixes, dots, weaves. You learned slip both sides.

By the end of it, I was kind of getting the hang of it and I enjoyed it. And it was fun. It is fun. And I really want to do it again. It makes you think too. It's like exercise where you think so you don't know you're exercising. Cause I'm with you. I'm with the world. Like I don't want, I don't like treadmills.

I don't like running. Oh, Tony. This is very funny. Look at you. Go to the middle. Show one of my jab-eroonies. Yeah. Fast forward to when he really starts lighting up the pad. Fast forward to when I'm sucking down a cigarette that Brianna's holding. Oh, an uppercut? Okay. Right jab.

It's a right straight. Right straight. There are numbers these days, Jeremy. I don't really know what to do with my feet. Wait, you're filming yourself? No, Brianna's filming. Oh, wait. What is happening? Why are you filming the TV? But you could just watch it. No, Brianna's filming. Oh, wait. What is happening? Why are you filming the TV?

But you could just watch it. Yeah, but we're also recording a podcast. And it's being recorded twice over. Holy dumbass. Batman. Sorry, cunt man. Look, look, look. Like a little gerbil.

Man. Yeah, and then he starts hitting me on the belly. It's conditioning. This is the weirdest POV point I've ever watched. No, Jason. You've seen samurai punch rice? No, Jason, this is grooming. I really enjoyed it.

And then we get to the kitchen afterwards and I go, do you think if I did this a Couple times a week. I would help shave off my belly and you were like you're fat That's not what happened man. You're a woman. You know not entirely the way that it You said do you think that I could lose weight? Jason because I had a dream last night that you were hanging out with someone that wasn't me. And I wanted to talk to you about it. I just feel like, no, I'm being a woman. I understand. I said that your diet would change everything. Not, you could train too. That would help. But you can already, here's a compliment. You're already like, you're already physically,

like you, you're, you have a body of there's muscles in there. You just have a bit of a gut because you eat at diners at two in the morning. That's my theory on it. And then, and then I said, you wouldn't be fat. And then I said, when I go to the diner, I eat well. And I have, but here's the thing. It's a lie. If you stop me there, but you didn't let me continue, which was I eat well at the diner and I ate a chicken, grilled chicken.

I'm glad Jeremiah was here. Jeremiah, do you think that he was going to tell us about the ice cream cookie? Yes, I was trying to get there. He kind of buried the lead. He put the ice cream at the very end after he mentioned the chicken and the avocado and the tomatoes and spinach that he was eating. It's like, why mention spinach when the end of the story goes ice cream cookie But they give you dessert like am I not supposed to eat dessert? I'm not saying did you order a kid's meal?

What do you mean? They give you dessert? Well, they give you the option The option that's entirely different. I mean what you mean all right when they say would you like dessert? Yes, you say yes. Be polite. What are we doing here? You're still backing him now? I can't back that up. You're digging yourself a hole, dude. Down in a hole. You're not even fat. You're just like a little bit chunky. Yeah. I got a little bit of a belly. You got a belly because you eat at diners and you have ice cream cookies at 2am. That's it. Hey Jason, could I get jacked?

Yeah, for sure. Yeah? What if we have a competition to see who gets jacked first and then it culminates in a boxing match? Winner gets a compliment from Jason. It wouldn't be too hard to hit either one of you in the nose. I know that. Look at you. Yeah? Oh, guess what? Winner gets a compliment from Jason. It wouldn't be too hard to hit either one of you in the nose, I know that.

Look at you. Yeah? Oh, guess what? Nose, man. We could easily hit your dick because it's long and floppy. So are we gonna talk about that too? Oh, I'm Jason Ellis, things are different down under. Screw you, man, I was on your side second ago.

Yeah, come to my side. Yeah, I'm back on your side. Your own nose is an icon. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Oh my bad. Yeah, I mean man It means isn't even that big why you lumping his into my nose? Is more powerful for sure, but we Yours is a honker too. Look at that thing. Let's push it all around my face Brianna. Is it or is it not a honker? Jason doesn't have a honker. Yeah, it's not a honker. It's not a honker.

It's a little honky. I would say you all have powerful noses. That's a nice way to say it. Thank you. I've literally been honked before, so I have a honker. Oh my God. And that will piss me off. How old?

Wait, somebody actually. I've been honked before and I'm like. Someone went up to you and went honk honk. Yeah. That's like. I saw red. How old were you? I was an adult and I was like, don't do that.

Who did it, a comic? No, I think it was an audience member drunk after a show and I was like, I saw red, I was, yeah. That's like picking up midgets. Yeah. They hate that. Yeah. Yeah, Brad Williams has a rule, he does not get picked up at shows. He's midgets. Yeah. They hate that. Yeah. Yeah. Brad Williams has a rule.

He does not get picked up at shows. Dude. He's drunk dudes. Yeah. Want to do it. Yeah. I made such a mistake with Brad Williams. He did the podcast and we were in my kitchen taking a picture.

And in my mind, I was like, oh, we're going to have to bend down. You got down. And I go, oh, do you want to get, should we put you like on the counter? So we're all eye level. And he's like, yeah, I'm not going to do that. Yeah. I don't, I don't do that. And I was like, oh God, I'm so sorry.

I thought we should all be trying to be courteous. I was trying to be courteous. And it was like the thing you're not supposed to do to a tiny person. Yeah. You would know. I guess I wasn't like thinking fully. I was like, well, I don't want to make him feel like we're like, Oh, little guy. So it's like, yeah, get on our level. It's

like handshakes with retarded hand people. Like I just grabbed that shit. Like it's, I respect it. You just, you just, you just grab it. I don't give a shit. Yeah. Like when you shake Jason's hand, you just grab it. Yeah. Robot hands. You ever shook a man with a robot hand? Oh, like the pincer, like the... Yeah, this guy had it. He got bitten off by a shark once and it was... Do one of these. I was like, man, that thing's cool.

It's made of carbon fiber. And he was like, yeah. And I remember the people in the room was like, dude, you're really going to talk about that straight away? And I was like, he has one arm. Yeah, I'm gonna. And then he was like, yeah, man, there's a button that presses and it holds. It goes to beer can holder. No, no way.

What if he gets drunk and he confuses beer can holder with cock holder? It's like, oh, no. He'll bounce back. Wait. Yeah. If that happens, is his, is he gay in one arm? Because the rest of his body is he gay in one arm? Because the rest of his body is technically not doing it. I don't think his fake arm can be gay. You can't be gay in one arm.

You can be gay in one arm. These are the questions that we should be asking. Oh, if it's your real arm, you can be gay in one arm. Okay, well there you go. But doesn't that make your whole body gay since your arm's attached to your body? Yeah, probably. So this is just a gay arm.

So this is just a gay. Oh. So this is just a gay mouth. This is just a gay ass. Yeah. Okay. I would rather have just a gay ass than a gay everything. That makes sense. I feel like the straightest part of me is my butthole. Why?

The first time I tried to penetrate it, it made me mad. But it's been penetrated though right I fought my butthole you what do you mean you fought my butthole in the butthole one but I was like hell no brother and I was like too bad son and then you know we argued and then something went up there I won we're gay now oh yeah I retired, so now we're all straight. Right. Right. I don't know what's so funny about that. I have a fantasy. I'm not in it.

About getting wrecked by so many guys. Really? Yeah. But then when it comes to reality, I'm like, get the fuck away from me, I would never do that. Who? That's gayer than gay sex.

No. It is, cause just get plowed, be a man. No. Okay, fair enough, that's why, I was just trying to have my... Well, I have gotten plowed, and I never took it back. I said, yeah, I've gotten plowed. It sounds like you, it said you...

No, but I'm saying, do you think that the butthole stuff was maybe a fantasy of yours? And then when you did it, you were like, no. No, I figured it out. It was society. If something went in my butt, I thought that that made me weaker. That would make me gay and weak.

Did it? No, I beat the shit out of everybody and get butt fucked. So, you know, I got beat up people after I was butt fucked. So I feel like. I used to do that. I used to suck dick and then like go and do manly things. We've all been there. Hell yeah, Jeremiah, hell yeah, brother.

I used to have a guy that worked at Lowe's come over and we'd blow each other in the shower and then I'd make him buy me beer because I got one over on him. Right, you showed him for sure. Sometimes I have sex with my wife and then I beat up a guy in a bush. Way to keep the conversation rolling. Sometimes I make love to my wife and then we create a child That's diesel Yeah There you go. Yeah, but I'm thinking I'm gonna

Start to train boxing you should now that the weather is nice. I'm going to start to train boxing. You should. Now that the weather's nice. I would love to be the guy that teaches comics to box in LA. Why don't you be? I want to open a gym. There's a friend of mine who is a UFC fighter. His name's Jason as well. Jason Mayhem Miller.

He went to prison for a long time. He kind of lost it. What do you go to prison for? A lot of stuff like fighting people. Is that his story to tell? Should we not blow his spot up? Yeah. I mean, if you Google it, it's pretty much everywhere, but he's now sober and out of prison and doing the right thing. And we trained the other day, we trained veterans on Saturday. Oh.

We taught them how to fight. Dude. And we spied each other for a little bit. That's why my shoulders are so sore, because we went at it for a little bit. That's so cool. Because we haven't fought each other for like 15 years, because there was a minute there where I was like, I ain't fighting you, you're crazy. Yeah.

And now he's... That's bad if you are saying somebody is crazy. Yeah, oh yeah. He was... He was the craziest. That's okay. I get it. J and J's gym.

No, seriously. J-I-M. If you're looking at somebody like, nah, I'm a yet you crazy for me like that I don't want to go near that. Yeah, I'll get fucked in five people But you put it like that that does make him seem pretty crazy yeah, and also, you know Typically, I haven't been friends with a person named may pretty crazy. Yeah. And also, you know, typically I haven't been friends with a person named Mayhem before. Yeah. Yeah.

His name was Mayhem before he went to jail. I'm friends with guys named like... Black Diamond. Black Diamond. And Honker. And Honker. Oh man. Did they go honk, honk?

Yeah. Dude. Oh, I know. If you point him out, like in the future, I'll beat him up. No, it was a drunk audience. I don't care. Oh. He needs to die.

Here he is, Jason. That's so funny. Dude, you should open a gym. That would be incredible. I really like it. And then you could have AA meetings there. Like it's one of those things where I don't think it's like a money thing because I'd be cool to have a meetings like it's one of those things where I don't think it's like a money thing

Because because I'd be cool to be have a business that made money I feel like that's like part of the like it happen is this but like the most satisfying job I've ever had because I I train at my gym I train people down there and I really like it like I really like and see people light up when they like learn combinations and- Smoke during rounds. You gotta, I lit up. Eventually we need to not smoke.

Okay. But I'm just trying to get you in there. Cause once you get the bug, then you want to train. Like Jordan has it. Jordan wants to train. She wants to fight. So once you get it- Jordan and I should fight each other.

You should. For a charity thing. Do the lead up to it on Patreon, make it a Patreon event. Yeah. Take it a DraftKings event. Oh. But see, I wouldn't be able to like really hit her. You can't.

You think I can't beat up a woman that looks like a man? I think Jordan's better than you at fighting. Oh, I would put money on Jordan. Give me. Immediately. Shut up honky. Give me time to train. No, why?

You're a man. Why not now? I don't know. The way he's sitting like that, squashing his vagina together over there. At least his feet are touching the ground. That's an accomplishment. Whoa. It's a Miley show.

I don't know. I'm in the big scene. In the high chair. Hey, you're in LA, dude. Welcome to the Thunderdome, bitch. We're always going out to New York doing B&E with Jordan. Oh, who's the pansy here now on the West Coast, brother? We got parking out the front of my house.

What's up? Yeah, I got parked in front of mine. You just got to be a man about it and fight for it. It's also known as not parking. And you can't park out the front of mine, you just got to be a man about it and fight for it. And it's also known as not parking. And you can't park out the front of your house. If you Uber, if the Uber parks out the front of your house for too long, they get a ticket. I haven't gotten a ticket in so long in New York. You don't have a car. When I run a car.

Oh, Tiché. Anyway, if you're going to fight Jordan, it should be now. LAX put my bags on the wrong flight. Here's where you get to train. I got the rental car and parked it in front of the airport, got out, went in, got my bag, came back, no ticket. All right, you're great. That's lucky.

Check it out. You pick a fight, you make the date, you book it for everyone to watch it, and from there on out, you train. But you training for a couple of years and then fighting Jordan, that's not fair. You're a dude. No, I don't.

You're heavier than her. I could not hit Jordan. Okay, well then. I could throw through a wall, but I couldn't. I couldn't hit a friend in a thing unless I got like super angry. You're missing out. I think once your adrenaline kicked in, you would...

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And I hit her, just lie, but I hit her in the head. She didn't put her glove up. She grinned, like she was like, do it again. I was like, this is a fighter. She's a fighter. That happened when I sparred with you at the gym. You didn't grint, did you? You hit me and I was like, all right, let's go.

And then I went forward. Why does no one ever give me credit for anything? Am I living in a false reality? You're one of the funniest guys I've ever seen in my life. Thank you. You can't fight for shit. What? Compliment me. I like your mustache, dude.

That was way delayed, dude. If you want to hit a friend. That's a good fight. You guys are both terrible diet people. I would, I would. East coast, west coast. No, I would. Dude, I would own him in a fight.

Are you kidding me? If it was kickboxing. Are you kidding me? It would not even be remotely close. Are you kidding me? If I went turned my crazy on and fucking make your life irrevocably different from that day. No way.

Is this the fight that's happening? Oh dude, this dude, if Ian and I got in a fight it would be no Contest let's go you know contest Ian wins. Yeah, no that I win. What's Huh, why do you think that? Reach doesn't mean anything. No reach doesn't mean anything if you don't crazy beats big in a fight and I'll bite your nose Dude if you train under my tutelage, you would destroy him. Whose tutelage are you going to train under? Yeah.

Who? Mayhem's. That's actually pretty good. Yeah. Oh, I'm training under Mayhem, dude. We could do the ultimate fighter. You guys could live, everyone could live in my house. Your wife would be pumped.

I've always wanted to live in your house. Yeah, I know. I hate Is it full contact MMA or just boxing? No, boxing dude. Jesus. I want to kick him You what about just you you want to throw legs into this? Okay, hey, you're gonna spill the water you're gonna spill the water. You're gonna spill the water Have you no respect? Hey, put your feet down. Your legs are strong! Yeah, he's stronger than you. If he and I fought each other, halfway through it would turn into a bit.

You know, it would be like, bing bong ding dong, dugga bing bong. Wait, so now it's not happening? All right, let's happen it. Dude, that's a fight. Like, I don't know if you guys know, but I run an event, Alice Mania, where we have comedy boxing.

I know. Where we have celebrities fight each other. Didn't you slapbox Lewis? Yeah, and I won. I won. He's really bad. Lewis? He's not athletic. He's just like...

Don't say that. He's not. He's just like a mean... He likes being mean. He's gotten better. He's got fitter. He looks way better. He looks great, but he's not very athletic.

Athletical? I think that's a word., he looks way better. He looks great, but he's not very athletic. Athletical? I think that's a word. Athletical is a word. That's not a word, look it up, Brianna. Athletic is a word. Athletic, if athletic is a word, I will lick your cat's balls. It's not like an elliptical.

You can't, it's not. Look it up, athletic, if this is a word, I will suck. Just leave everybody alone, don't suck anything. Just stay over there. It's an older form of the adjective athletic. I'm old. I was living in the old way. Athletical is a word.

I've never heard of it. Oh, why don't you guys go to school and suck your own dicks, you dumb fucks well, I would but I promise to suck your cat's balls. Okay. Well have any So put him in my mouth yummy. Yum. Yum. Yum. I never put everybody I had guess I didn't go to school He gave it at all. I can't read dumbasses athletically Hey insufficient brains Athletically... Insufficient brains. Athletically, well yeah, that's a word, but athletical. Hey, you know what else used to be a word a long time ago?

Don't. Hmm. Dude, don't. Why, stop listening to Kanye, dude, it's ruining you. It makes me want to say it all the time. I know, that's why he did it. I know. Don't be a part of it. He's in my brain.

Get out of there. You know what? Now I want Jeremiah to win. You're under my tutelage now. Can I just say that I never offered to suck anything? That was you two. That was you two. Oh wait, I didn't say I wanted anything to do

with any of him sucking me. I said it and I want to keep my word. Let's get back to the fight. You guys fight, seriously. We'll do it, pay-per-view. Check your reach. This is a good fight. Dude, you get inside and you tear him up

from the inside. What the frick? He's intimidated. He's not, he's really not. He's intimidated. You just go full gay on me in the fight? Do a reach again Wait are you?

Look at him. Yeah, he is no if you try to suck him off. That's gonna scare him for sure But also when you try to like when you try to suck him off he could punch you in the face And then he would win. I mean only make me want it more Now I'm scared of you. There it is. See? Crazy beats big in a fight. Well, there's only one way to really find out. Backyard right now. Five minutes.

Jason and Jason coach of both of you is pretty awesome. Yeah. I take back the living in the same hand. Winner gets a kiss. Gets a kiss on the loser? Like a tongue? No, just. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't care. I mean, I felt like Jeremiah loses both ways. Yeah, wait, even if I won? Yeah, you have to kiss. Well, here we go, Ian. Tobacco infested face. What a weird Jedi game mind trick you just pulled on me. Yeah, the witness sucks the other one off.

These are the aids you're looking for. Oh yeah, that is good. Luke, you will have to wear a diaper. It's a good fight though Luke by Walker train Did the training videos training? Montages where you're like, okay November 17th your mind at that you don't mean at the MGM grant probably not that the MGM grant I just at the MGM grand parking lot

to a at the MGM, probably not at the MGM, Graham, I just, at the MGM Grand parking lot at 2 a.m. At the Silver Dollar. On a Monday. Yeah. Dude, the Silver Dollar might take it, they might do it. That's a fight. That is a fight. Would you do it, Jeremiah? No.

Aw, man, he talks. Lewis has been wanting to rematch forever, I won't give it to him. Pussy. Yeah, but I'm not Lewis. I'm he. That's going to feel good though, right? Why wouldn't you do it? Yeah, because it's way funnier to do one and done.

Yeah. The bit is funnier to do one and done. And Lewis has been training every day since that day. And Jeremiah has not trained one time. If you and I started training right now, would you do it? What? You and I? Yeah.

Oh man. Did you not gonna get hurt? What? Both of you are not gonna get hurt in a way where you would not be at the after party looking completely unscathed. Dude, I'm gonna- You would have head gear, you would have 16 ounce gear, 16 ounce butt.

I get popped in the nose. If we're a bitch butt, we're a bitch butt. And it's a pretty easy target. We're a bitch butt. You can't break his nose, dude. I get popped in the nose. And it's a pretty easy target. Wear a bitch butt. You can't break his nose, dude. I don't know. I do. I just held mitts for him.

He cannot. It takes a lot. I've never. Dude, I did these events for 20 years. Not one person broke their nose. You can break my nose. Thank you, Gil. Jason, how do I get a chest that makes it look like I have like a-

Bench. Pecs. You bench. I have pecs. Square pecs. You got moves. Do you? Let's see a movie.

I believe that. You got moves. Oh shit, he's actually gonna, oh wow, yeah, they're in there. Yeah, he would smoke you, dude. And he has timing I Saw the video where he hit Lewis it was it was a good time slap. Whoo Yeah, we're not slapping we're boxing. Yeah, but it's a hand reaching for the face if you close it, it's punch Yeah, but I'm so sure

I'm so much shorter than him. He would have to punch down. I would just have to slip and uppercut. I mean, there is a thing. It's not a video game. Look, if you, if you learn how to fight. I am Soda Pop Murphy. That's a good fight name. Yeah.

Who would you say I was like Leroy Brown? Yeah, you got it. It's a punch that I designed. Oh, I want to be- So did Dropkick Murphy over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like Dropkick Murphy's. I know.

I want to be, I want to be Delroy. Delroy Green? Delroy the Kid. It's not bad. That's like better than most of the things you've said today. That was good. I mean, you've said a lot of great stuff, but that was even better.

Is that better? Okay. Put some fucking respect on my name. That's talk like that for the fight. That's cool. Do you want me to fuck you up? That almost sounded. Do you want me to?

He can't help it. Do you want me to cock back rock and? That's a fight dude. Do it. Lock and load? Let's just do it one fight fine one fight for the ages. Let's not even do this. I don't even do tickets Let's just do it in the gym. You're at the gym. We do whichever which way you want to go Let's do this three three minute rounds three three minute rounds. That would actually be very hard. We're gonna dance

You think it'd be hard for you? How many rounds did I do Jason? Did you hit pads? It for you? How many rounds did I just do Jason? The eye, dude you hit pads it's not the same. How many pads did I just hit for the first time ever Jason? When you're in a real fight in the first 30 seconds you will be suffocating. Because I'm gonna duck and weave and let him get gassed and then I'm gonna hit the pads and melt. He will be tied in the first 30 seconds but he will have what is called lungs left for

the rest of the fight. You will die. Like you won't die from him beating you. You'll die because you'll have a, like you can't breathe. You smoke more than anybody I know. The only person you could be in a fight is David Tell. I would never hit my friend David. Right. Neither would I, but I'm just saying if you guys fought, he... I would say before the fight, Jeremiah,

I would say, I cannot be your friend today, but tomorrow after this fight, we can be friends again. This is simple Jack meets Mike Tyson. And you may hit me so hard, it'll make my eyes rain, but I don't care, because I'm going to get up and I'm not going to stop fighting. And if I don't win, I'm going gonna get up and I'm not gonna stop fighting, and if I don't win, I'm gonna eat children. It's a good fight.

It's the fight to make. But he would punch down and I would duck and uppercut. No, the theory that you have is- Let's see who punches your hand harder right now. Okay. You're up, Slim. Do you want me to use your mitts? Yeah, mitts? In your pad, or no? Yeah. It's on the, I'll get it.

Do you have a mitt that has a meter on it to see how hard you hit? Oh, the punch pad. Yeah. Yeah. You really do? Yeah. Let's go.

Oh, this is actually good. Yes. This is actually interesting. I am so excited. Oh, I'm actually pretty excited for this too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might be in here.

Let's punch pad. Let's punch pad. Let's punch pad. Let's punch pad. Let is actually interesting. I am so excited. Oh, I'm actually pretty excited for this too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's punch pad it. Brianna, what? I'm actually curious. You haven't been recording. We haven't been listening to anything at all this whole time. Why is the joke on this show? Quick, let's kill this cat. Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no you go walk a walk. We're just running bits. Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo. Bok bok bok bok bok. Hey I'm the chicken man, I'm the chicken man. Put up your dougs, put up your dougs. Yeah, let me see here. Oh yeah.

There's actually, I didn't even know that these exist. Oh yeah, Jason Alish has been doing this stupid shit for a long time. Wow. Oh yeah, let's go. Come on, punch it up, J-Man. Oh man, I might be eating my words, I'm gonna be honest. Oh, you better put on a bib, baby, because you're gonna be eating them words.

Come on, Jeremiah. Now, Brianna, we have to be in frame, right? Yeah, hold on one second. Yeah, I would. We might need to readjust some of these a little bit. Oh, look who's backpedaling. Come right? Yeah, I would. We might need to readjust some of these a little bit. Oh, look who's backpedaling. Come on, Jeremiah, stand up. You're good. You're good.

He's good. He's good right here, Brianna. I'm pretty tall. I'm pretty tall. Yeah, you don't need to see your head, you just need to see the punch. Okay. Come on, punch it up. Wait, I'm the guest. I should go second. You're going first. Yeah, I'm the guest. You said a second. You know, yeah. Yeah, I'm the guest you go three anyway No, I said jeremiah go first

Ladies first lanky ladies first. Oh my goodness Let's put money on it How much Can you see everything brianna can they back like closer to the chairs? Can you guys get closer to the chairs? Yeah. Look how strong Jason is. Jason's gonna take his shirt off. For those listening at home, Jason said you wish homo. We are here at the BNN with Jordan punch off May 12th, 13th, 2025, the year of our Lord. We have Slim String Bean Jeremiah versus tiny but mighty fire dance here It's a punch for the ages folks best two out of three do we say?

String being in string being Ian with Jordan Jason is working the cameras Brianna is on the ones and twos the cat is scared under the table Here we go I want to make excuses it's best out of three yes one one two two bye bye yes here he comes can you see it all right Brianna yeah yeah look at this guy oh my church anger is ripped. Oh my church anger Jeremiah looks strong Brandy you're oh Wow What was that at?

64 64 I'm being it by 20 Jeremiah here we go right your own. All right. Here we go, here we go. Where do I wanna hit it? In the star. On the star. Ah! Ah!

What is it, what is it, what is it, what is it? 51. 51. All right, two out of three. Why did my hand feel like it just shattered? Look away when you punch. The two big knuckles hurt them, the four little ones hurt you. Oh, I feel like I just popped a vein. Here we go. If Jason's going to try and talk in the mic. I thought that thing was a lot softer.

No. Ready. Yeah. Whoa, that was good. Not as good. 55 that form that form. All right. Now how do I do this without making my wrist break? Don't be a bitch. Do I want to punch it down like that? No, it's straight and you use your hips twist into it. Like that? Or like that? You know what?

No lessons. Just punch. Yeah, see? I didn't get any. I didn't get any. All right. Let's go. Here we go.

Wait. Come on. This really hurt. Ian likes to stall. Okay, here we go, here we go. Dude. Ready? 58.

58 is creeping. So, so far, he won the second one, you won the first one. Let's go I mean, I'll try to I mean we're doing best two out of three right yeah, so well no next yeah We're tied next high score right yeah, it's the highest score. Yeah. Yeah, no no I thought it was who wins each round What I thought it was who wins each round. It's high score. It's high score. What? I thought it was who wins each round. I won the second round. Ready?

Yep. See, I would duck this. No, don't, he's, don't tell. Sorry, that was good. Do your little, oh, oh. Just do it. Okay. Do it.

Oh. Oh, that was good. 62. I shouldn't have pissed him off You suck Get angry we go here we go here we go here we go. Yeah I've got two in the 60s. just letting you know two in the 60s You haven't broken 60 yet Let's go

Let's see. What is it? What is it? No, no, no, what is it? What is it? 53. Ready? Over by dance. LA wins brother. That was even worse. You saw The batteries are out! Stop, don't touch my machine! Hey! He's gonna suck the bag's dick, put it away! All right, I bet the bat.

Wow! Wow. Woo! What did I tell ya? What did I tell ya? Look, I would say this. How come I can't punch hard? Cause you don't look at the time, you look away when you punch.

I do, I go like this. And this thing measures, if you land in the star, you do better, you score better if you land in the star. Where am I landing? Oh yeah, yeah, the wide back. Where am I landing? Damn. I mean, the last two, you looked over there when you punched.

Also when I was holding mitts for you, I was trying to tell you were doing that. Yeah. You look over there, but you could be, you're blind too. So there's that. You know what? Rome was built today. Rome was built by a gay. Let me punch it again. Let me put... Let me punch it again. Yeah, no, that'll help.

Fine. Underestimate me. You know what? I've been underestimated my whole life. Just so you know, you guys, I've done Alice Mania like 20 times, right? Yeah. And we used to do the punch pad for people that were going to fight each other. Okay.

And more than one time, I've been doing the punch pad for people that were going to fight each other. And more than one time, I've been doing the punch pad for people that were going to fight each other. And more than one time, I've been doing the punch pad for people that were going to fight each other. And more than one time, I've been doing the punch pad for people that were going to fight each other. And more than Yeah, and we used to do the punch pad for people that were gonna fight each other Okay, and more than once the guy that punched the hardest didn't win the fight Doesn't really mean anything just thank you just just saying yeah, like there were people that were

Yeah, do you see under the other person you see his little Sonic the Hedgehog spin before he punched? I will say, I will say, Jeremiah, if he does hit you with a 60, was it 63? I'm in the hospital. You're not in the hospital, but you'll probably quit. I won't quit, but I will be very injured. But the thing you guys don't realize

is when you're actually in a real fight, the first punches are tense and wound up and usually your opponent will get out of the way of it. And this is usually what happens. Not even usually, it's every time. Nobody lands with their good punch. Right. It's like a wrestling back and forth

of like swinging and misses. Then you guys get tired, then you loosen up. And then one of you or both of you starts to figure out a little bit on like, this is the fight. There's no one punch. Like people that hit people and knock them out with one punch, these are like problems. I know when I punch, I don't really punch through.

I like stop. Yeah, you did. Yeah. What is that? I Don't know. I don't want to say it. You're gonna get a weird What is it? You're a bitch Like why else would you pull back? I don't know. I think I'm afraid of hurting your hand I think I'm afraid of my own strength. Yeah, it's a bitch move. Because I was born to be like a loving, I just, I know what I have and I don't want to hurt the world. Wow. That was a good job.

Hey. Wow, sportsmanship. Hey, give it to him. And I give it to him, he beat me fair and square. Fully beat you. He beat me in the rounds, he beat me in the points. And all I can say, he was a good comparator. And it was an honor to fight someone

that put all their heart and soul into it. and I just can't wait to come back. I'm underestimated. It's not the first time I've had to claw my way towards everything I've ever gotten. I ain't going to stop now. You can still win. You can win a fight. And I can win. I'm just going to come back harder. Definitely stacked against you. Train better. But you can win. And that's all it is. I will say Jeremiah has a really bad stance and his windup is a comical.

He cartoonish. He was to try to wind up silly in a real fight like that. You could have hit him like seven times. Yeah. Cause he almost looked the opposite way. It was almost like a baseball bat swing. I was trying to get as high a score as possible. Yeah.

Hey, just saying that you can't throw that punch in fighting. I don't plan to. Well, if you throw a proper one, I bet you it's not as hard. Let's see that again. Because I was throwing propers. Nope, you were not. Thought I was.

But yours looked more proper than his. And I think. And he stands like he don't know how to fight. I'm goofy. He is goofy. I'm just goofy. With the right. Fun fight, man, because both of you like circling each other is, it's comedy. With the right training, I think I could be okay at best. Yeah. Okay. Yep.

Underestimate me. I love being underestimated. I accept that you could be okay. Better than okay. It's pronounced bottom estimated. Oh wow. What? Cause you know. You know. Cause you're all gay and shit.

Yeah. Gays, am I right? I have a puncher. Oh, interesting. Should we have Jason hit the punch pad to see what a real man? Let's see what this bloke is all about. What a real man scores. Oh, he's a tough man. My record's already on there.

Ian and I will both hold the pad for you to equally. And I will position myself behind Jeremiah because as it's established, I am a fag. My words, not his. He's allowed to, he's taking it. Yeah, how about you punch it there, Pauline? What's your score, what's your score? It's like 90 or something.

Whoa, that's so cool. Yeah's your score? It's like 90 or something. Whoa! That's so cool. Yeah, mine was up there with like, cause we had like UFC fighters, actors, like it was on, we had this for decades. So it was like this crazy list of people where it was like, you know, like weird comedians and actresses, like girls, porn stars, UFC champions,

like had had all these people on the list. It was pretty fun. Okay, where do Ian and I fall under the ecosystem of- Underneath a lot of the girls. A little bit. Probably underneath like Sabrina Carpenter. There was some people that were surprisingly bad. Can I punch you one more time? Just for shits and giggles.

Just to... Just to see if it'll improve? Yeah. Okay, okay, Jason, coach Ian, and then coach me for one more time. Okay, so I put your hand on my hand. See how your back toe is off the ground? That's where your power is.

So look at my foot. I twist this and it twists my hip. So when my hip comes out, then yeah, into my palm. Now, see the weight? Yeah, yeah, now the two knuckles, two big ones. So you gotta watch this. You gotta watch that target and put the two knuckles all the way through me. Punch through me. Don't bring it back. Push it all the way in. Make this do damage. Like push it all the way through. Back leg throws your whole body into it. Both knuckles into the star.

You ready? You ready? Don't wind up. Don't fucking do that weird wind up thing. Get back a little bit. And run into it. With that? Yeah. Push through it. No. What is happening? You're taking weight off. How? You back off when you get to it. Why do I do that?

Cause I'm afraid. Cause I'm afraid. Yeah. Oh, you're doing it again, dude? We're just a whole show. Is you punching a pad? I'm done. Did you just trigger it?

I'm determined. Let's go. Should I lean in? If you punch hard, yeah. That was way better. No, it wasn't. What are you doing? What are you doing? Do I get one more? No, it wasn't what are you doing?

Do I get one more? No, stop you won What is what is it why does not my reality match up with what my mind is telling me he Jeremiah hits hard Like whether the pad the pad just so just for the record the pad is not Scientifically that correct. Uh-huh. But I can feel the power behind the pad and he hits hard. Why? I don't understand. He's probably heavier than you.

Why I'm not hitting. How much do you weigh? 167 or 169. What are you? I'm probably right now I'm a little heavier, so probably 175, 180. Right. It makes a big difference. What?

Yeah. I'm probably 175 right now. Ah. Yeah. Weight classes are for a reason. It's a thing. Yeah. That's why they don't have 200 pound men against 155 pound men, because it's like cold unfair.

I don't understand why I'm punching and stopping instead of going all the way through Well, you're halfway there. At least you know, you're doing it. Mm-hmm Yeah, I don't know what that is Yeah, I don't know like like are you right hand or the left-handed right-handed Sam? Okay, that would be interesting You could be taught to do it To punch all the way through right? I could have been taught. I don't, it's called punching correctly. Yeah. But he had a good wind up, you know, but he just, some people are just, uh, they

are more natural when they sit down on punches. That's like the term. Like if you're on your toes a lot is a light, it's a faster punch, but it's, it's not as heavy people that sit down on their punches usually hit harder. Listen, some of us are just more athletic than others. Then there's that. I'm not gonna let this get me down. I'm gonna let this inspire me.

A fire has been lit underneath me. You could drink. Your rock bottom was Jeremiah Watkins. Yeah. Yeah, really. And let's just say it's an honor I never get a rock bottom again. All right I'm gonna rock top. I'm gonna rock rock shock rock jock. Mm-hmm

Yeah, but you could still win in a fight Thank you. I will probably not but you could come in this June 20th, 2025, the Bellagio Las Vegas, you never know we're going to do it in the dark. 3000 people. Wow. Were you commentating? Who were the comments? I was commentating and I was the main event.

Whoa. And I was in three other fights before the main event usually. Are you crazy? Wearing a lot of hats. And I was playing in a band that night too. Whoa. It truly was in Ellis mania. Thank you everybody for tuning in to this episode

of being Ian with Jordan. Ian's been looking for that out for so long. I don't think I've ever went to Hickey Ball then right now. How do I get out of this? Jeremiah, where can people find you? That's been the show everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. I am 6ix9ine on Instagram. You can find me doing better than Ian. It ain't the hitting bat. At Jeremiah's standup on social media. Watch standup on the spot on YouTube and watch trailer tales and I don't know when this comes out

but Ian is gonna be on. Next week. Oh, he's gonna be on the standup on the spot on June 18th in New York City with a bunch of our friends. It's gonna be awesome. And yeah, I'm on tour always. Jeremiah Watkins dot com. Kansas City, Springfield, Missouri.

Some of us hit heavy in the ring, some of us do it on stage. Whoa. All right. Jason, where can we, time's up. Jason, where can we? Here's another challenge. Here's another challenge.

Let's see how loud the audience gets. Oh my God. On stage, joke for joke. Let's go there. Let's see how loud the audience gets. Joke for joke. Let's go there. Let's freaking go there. Oh, what about this? Do a joke, crowd, like volume.

That would be fun. Best out of three, then fight. Don't hurt yourself, Tex. Come on. You could beat him twice. Hey! Where could people find you the Jason Ellis dot-com that's where my two dates are I'm gonna be in Miami May 21st I think and then and then Ocala Florida and then I'm going to Canada and Australia I don't know why but yeah the Jason Ellis dot-com for Amazing. IanFiedance.com for all my dates.

I am, pardon me, going all over. I am going to be in Charleston, South Carolina on May 22nd, the 23rd to the 25th, Atlanta, Georgia. And then I'm going to Charlotte, North Carolina, Wilmington, North Carolina, Tacoma, Washington, Spokane, Oklahoma City, Addison, Texas, at the Addison Improv, let's pack that one out, Indianapolis, Chicago.

I'm going all over, man. I got a ton of dates. IanFightDance.com, Patreon.com, slash B&E and Pod. Check out Jordan on the road, PunchUp.live slash Jordan Jensen. We miss you Jordan, we love you. We love Jordan. She's the best. She will be back next week and we love you guys.

Thank you so much for tuning in and we'll see you next time. Bye bye.