Bellied Up - #18 How To Spot a Midwestern Man

Episode Date: October 6, 2022

Presented By Fleet Farm In this episode we talk about dogs and ferrets, Next caller lives on a military base and is wondering how to spot a midwestern man when everyone is dressed the same way, last caller of the day gets embarrassed by her boyfriend and is trying to get back at him.

Okay, welcome back to the belly to podcast. I'm one of your hosts Charlie Barons. I'm here with my other host miles Play Charlie. What would you say that the podcast is presented by all presented by fleet farm gosh Love it. Yeah, you really get it that So anyways That's funny. You want to keep going? shot right in the yard. Yeah, that's funny. You want to keep going? No, no, no, no.

Okay, you're in trouble. Okay, so Miles doesn't let me ever do the intro very often because he says I'm bad at them. So I'm starting this off by saying Miles. It's early October. I'm going to London. I'm doing a show out there. What are you doing in London?

I'm doing a show. You guys can actually it's probably it's sold out Actually, maybe not Anyway, it doesn't matter. Are you gonna call away? How are you selling out shows in London is what I want because the Packers are playing there And there's a lot of Packers fans there Obviously, I guess I'm excited. There's not that many seats So you wanted to go to the Packers game in London. Yeah, and I'm going to go. How can I write this entire trip off? Uh huh. Do a show over there. Obviously. That was actually pretty smart. Yeah, it is. I got to start doing that. Yeah, you did. That's it. First, I got to get

good at stand-up comedy. You're pretty good. No. You got some bits you could do. No, no, no. Yeah, so the more you talk about it, the more it's like people are thinking I'm gonna I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, you're gonna do it eventually. So I've you are bending the London before I've been the London one other time And I was super quick it was it was never been to Europe Never is it as smelly as I imagine it is. It just seems like Europe would be smellier than the Midwest No, it's really cool. I mean, you walk around and you like you're like, holy smokes. Uh, that smells. Well, certain parts. Yeah. But certain parts of America smell like it's not their fault. Like

they just, they started. How do you think they smell there? Well, it's like they started cities before there was like sewage and septic. Well, they now put sewage and septic. I know, but I imagine it's still like a little janky, you know? Uh, you know, there's some work around. I'm sure I'm not a city planner in London. I don't know, but you got like these castles and all this other stuff. You've been to a castle. I've seen one, you know, same deal.

Actually, I have tough to get over that moat. I suppose you could make it in. No, I know. And they are shooting the arrows at you and then you get to the base and they drop hot oil on you. And you're like, come on, I just wanted to get the souvenir shop. I just wanted to knock on the draw bridge. But then they start opening the draw bridge. And then you're going down run, you got to run away from it. And you fall on the boat. It's terrible. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm nervous. So what should I pack my crossbow or what? Yeah. Definitely all of your, uh, what's it called the like metal, like my tech to my chain mail. Yeah,

chain. I want chain mail. My brother has that stuff like for real. He goes to Renaissance fairs and he has several different characters and John Barons. Jared went to a Renaissance fair. Oh, you're in a sense for you. Do you have a sword, a battle axe? What do you got? No, I didn't do any of that. Just street clothes. I'm not cool enough to do that.

Dang, man. You got to get him full costume. Yeah, maybe next year. Next year. Yeah. Oh, good for you. So maybe borrow some chain mail. borrow some chain mail.

Yeah, that's going to be tough to check in. I'm going to have to wear it. It feels more like a like like like Scottish I don't know they all got in this by man to wear the chain mail on the plane because otherwise my carry on will be too heavy sir you're like you're standing there in full chainmail you're like do I need to take off my shoes to go there they're what they want so we're gonna need you to take off for chain metal I don't think I got nothing on underneath this. Yeah, sorry. This is just me and the chains right now. If I get rid of the chains, you're going to see the mail. What are you doing?

Like, hey, I'm visiting London. What do you mean? Every I don't want to get stabbed by a night, you know, so I wear the chain mail. You're like, you're checking your jelst thing. Yeah, hold you know. Well, I can't bring it back. I'm going to you know, so I wear the chain map. You're like, you're checking your jelst thing. Yeah.

You're holding on. Well, I can't bring on the plane. It's pointy. You know, so you got to put it under. Like if people under the plane are literally like trying to angle it to get it in there and like, you know, all that stuff. That's hilarious. You know, piercing someone's luggage and then it just

underwear is everywhere. Just a jousting as the playing goes out. Yeah, that's hilarious. That's a great pit. I mean, even you ran over my funny joke. I said, sir, if I remove the chains, you're going to see my mail. You get it. That's funny. You guys like that one. Get it. Because anyway, good joke, Charlie. Um, so So you know, that'll be fun. That'll be fun. I'm going there. Thanks for your support. Thanks for coming out. We should get all the Packer fans to dress up and chainmail

for the packers chainmail. So like, no, but like in the middle of winter, it like orange becomes their colors like the blaze orange. Yeah, oh a blaze orange chain mail. But when the packers play in London, they're more seen man. He kind of fun. That's my hunting clothes. That's like what it's like. Well, I guess you went on.

That was the original hunting clothes when you're hunting. Well, hunting people. Yeah. I mean, they used to do that. They did. They did in the medieval times. Yeah. So, well, that's interesting.

Are you coming to come out and do five minutes? No. Okay. I don't want to, I don't want anyone to think I'm going to show up in one day. And I just won't. I think maybe you will. I think maybe you're just being coy about it. Sounds like a fishy situation. It's a fishy situation. Should we get to the collars? I think we should get to the collars. Um, I'm glad that you'd let me know how it goes with chain mail through security. I will. Yeah. Yeah. What is there any sort of, uh, maybe you can get like composite, maybe like

a carbon fiber chain mail suits. And you gotta go the full deal. All right. You gotta go the full Monte. No, annoying that would be to be walking through the airport, ching, ching, ching, ching, every step. And then it's just heavy. It's like, you're, you know, like, you know, the little like floor escalator things,

the little like treadmill things, yeah, in the airports. Yeah. Every time a time you get stuck in one, no, every time you go on there, you walk on it, right? Now, you'd be the one guy that's standing on that thing. I was trying to get by you and they're bumping into your cutting their arms on your chainmail and stuff. Do you ever, like, I go on the escoder, you know what I like doing

on the escoder? What? Okay. You know, there's a little down by your foot, there's a black little brush. Oh yeah. I use it to clean my shoes. Yeah, I've done that.

100%. Yeah, that's what's there for. It kind of feels good. Feels awesome. I do it with sandals sometimes. Ooh, I'm doing the toes. Oh, so good. Everyone after you was just getting dirty brushes. Yeah, I know. They after you just getting dirty brushes.

Yeah, I know. They're just looking up at me. Like, and I'm just like having a moment by myself with my brush. So anyway, I had actually was not a way. I've done that before. I've done it. That's why I have fun, Gus.

Okay, cool. Wouldn't you do it sandals miles? Yeah, yeah, you get that. Okay. Well, this was so much fun. Should we take aals miles? Yeah, yeah, you get that. Okay. Well, this was so much fun. Should we take a few calls? Let's take a few calls. Hello.

How's it going? I'm going. God. What's your name? Where you where you call from? How much did you hear before you were on the line? I didn't hear anything. My name's Richard Richard.

I call him from Ontario, Canada. Oh, we got about that. I didn't know you were calling all the way from across the pond. That's Miles' terrible Canadian impression and we'll make it better by the end of this call. I'm just showing him called in my guy. Yeah I'm just showing my egg. You know, but come on. I know Did you get your coffee from Tim Wartons today or not? Miles you get your maple syrup from Tim Wartons today No, but the bubbles serve up a pretty good maple syrup with their hot cakes. Oh, the hot cakes. Yeah, I

Can't figure out if he's if Miles is doing a good or bad Canadian pressure. I don't know either, but it's Yeah, well, why don't you belly up to the bar with us? This is an international call belly up to the international bar and Why don't you tell us what's on your mind? Yeah But I got a question for you guys. What's your what's your favorite kind of dog? Wow What's your favorite kind of dog? Wow. Favorite kind of dog. I guess I've never been asked that question. Yeah, we were, but now I like different dogs for different reasons,

but I grew up with English setters, bird dogs. That's what my Nana had. She had a Nana and grandpa. They had an English setter bird dog. That's one of them dogs that, you know, English setter. They got that accent, you know? Oh man. How funny, T.

I knew that was coming. Good enough, good enough. Yeah, yeah, they drink a lot of tea. And they point at, they're pointers. The point at birds. And I love watching a nice pointer. Just, yeah, they just, they just smell sniff sniff and then on point, you can't even move them there.

Statue. Yeah, then what, how do they talk? They took, oh, oh, material, you know, kind of like that. Um, that would be, I myself have a big old, Oh, beagles, they're barkers, aren't they? They're a little loud, right? Yeah. I don't know. This one's a different breed. I don't know. It doesn't usually bark. So it's not a big. We call it a roof. We call it a roof. What's a, like a room? Like you sing. Oh, like he talks to you like, oh, you, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'm going to talk with her. What's her name? Mabel. Is Mabel there right now? She is actually walking here.

Can you put it on speakerphone real quick? Yeah. OK. Let me know when it's when we're in Mabel hearing distance. She's a dog. She's in her hearing. OK. Mabel.

Mabel, who's this? Mabel. Okay. Maybe who's this? Maybe asked her if she was fixed or not, and what she's doing later tonight. Yeah. You dirty dog. Oh, jeez, jeez. That's just cute. That's just cute.

And you're going to let him talk to your daughter like that? Well, you know, she doesn't get around a bit. She let some lick a bit more than they should. Oh, yeah, they have to hit Mabel. Look, you know, you dirty dog. I love that. Now, now miles, what's your favorite dog? Every dog I've ever had a nice connection with has always been the lab or a retriever,

which is kind of boring, but the smaller dogs, I don't own a dog. He's a hamster guy. And I am probably not going to get a dog solely because my life is very busy. Oh, we got it. You got it. You have a dog, Charlie. No, I'm way too busy for a dog. Yeah.

That's what I thought. But it's so a golden retriever or a lab. Is that what you're saying? All my buddies that have dogs, that's what they have. And I like them. I don't know. Yeah. I just, I'm just, I'm not going on my way to, to get a dog

because I just have, I'm gone. Have to come do this with you, Charlie. That's true. I mean, it'd be cooler if you brought a dog right here. I will say that. That is true. Yeah. Um, they're better in the public. They're not, they are best. They're the best. Yeah. They are fun when they're pop something. My brother's got a bulldog. Um, I don't know how I feel about bulldogs. How do you feel about bulldogs? Well, it's kind of like God creates this magnificent creature the wolf and then humans were like

Suspicious centuries centuries were like let's F this wolf up as much as possible, and that's how that bulldog came to be. That is actually. They can't breathe. That's how they breathe. What? They're mouth. They're gonna talk to me when they sound like a bulldog. Just that. That is actually right. You guys like ferrets? Yeah, they're kind of cool. My uncle, I grew up with two ferrets, Zekin Zed. Zek was a bider though and we had to put them down, but Drew Blood Zed got lost in the air filtration system and that's how he passed. But they are fun creatures and they keep the mice at bay. So that's nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Maybe the neighbors, the neighbors, the neighbors. Miles, you know, back in the, I watched one of your, I don't know if it was one of your

earlier videos, but the, the cooler, your cooler comparison with the, You bet, you betty. Yep. Unreal. Unreal. Thanks for watching the, uh, the you betty thing. Not a lot of people know about the you betty anymore. Isn't funny how somebody lives in my head. Yeah, it's great. See, we have to rent free and is that it's funny how some bits, you know, you know, people forget about or you forget about and people never forget about them.

You'll always be remembered. We were so young back then. We were so young. I've aged like a president. That's a different story altogether. Hopefully your lifestyle's not like a president. I hope you guys up here is one day and do a show. That'd be pretty cool. That would be awesome. We will have to get up there actually looking to do a show in Canada now. And I will announce that Miles might come to do a hot 10. I think I probably won't.

I don't know if I have my passport or not Get your passport Come on you get married you're going on a honeymoon. No, I got my passport a couple years ago. I got to find it though Yeah, I find it. Yeah, might have lost it in the mood I heard on your one of your other podcasts then that you one of you had that on your one of your other podcasts then that you want to be that that I'm cottage up in Canada. Uh, miles has a cottage in the direction of Canada. I mean not really though it's just in the middle of Minnesota. Yeah it's in you keep going. When I hear when I hear up north I think you got to remember I live in Fargo North Dakota so I'm already up there so if I go any to remember I live in Fargo, North Dakota. So I'm already up there. So if I go any more north

I mean you're yeah, our up north is your down south. So North you're Sketch one I think yeah, yeah, we know great. Yeah Oh, when a big I'm sorry. Yeah, well, we appreciate you. We appreciate it. Yeah, appreciate it. Appreciate it. Appreciate you guys answering. Yeah, anytime, we appreciate you. Come on in, man. We appreciate it. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Appreciate you guys answering.

Yeah, anytime. Thank you. Thank you on your opinion on dogs. Yeah, watch out for moves. I will watch out for moves. You watch out for deer. Okay. We'll do.

We'll do. All right. Sounds good. We'll talk soon. All right. Bye. Hello. Who do we got one? Hey, my name's Alice. Hey, Alice Alice. Well, first of all, hold there you Alice. Yeah, I'm 22 Alice who the fuck is Alice?

That's funny that you did that one. I was gonna say we should go ask Alice when she's 10 feet tall Yeah, you never heard that song before sure I love how you Yeah, where you call them from Alice I'm currently calling from Florida The cocoa Beach area, but I'm originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Oh, we're in Milwaukee right now. We're at Uncle Box actually. Oh, awesome. Yeah. You bet here. Water stream. Yeah. Right over in that area by the Pfizer, if you know, they got great

chandeliers here. Antler chandeliers. Antliners. and the good spot. Antliners. Yeah, it's a good spot for sure. Great spot. So what's cooking? Well, I was calling hoping to get some Midwest advice actually. Yeah, what about Alice? So I moved from Milwaukee down to Florida and then recently moved back up to Virginia. Um, and I'm living in a military town in Virginia. Annapolis and Virginia Beach. Andapolis is in Maryland, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But they're all very close for Jinja. Yeah, they all look the same. So you're living there now? Yeah, but you're in Florida. Yeah, I'm just visiting. Oh, she's visiting. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was confused too. Thank you for clarifying my own. Yeah. Okay, we got that up. Yeah. Okay. We got the geography. Yeah, so what's going on there? Yeah, so I moved up there, just kind of getting my feel of things and realized that I really would just prefer to date midwestern men.

No, we're good. So when, yeah, smart. And so when I walk into the bar and I'm looking around, I was wondering, do you guys have advice on how to spot a Midwestern man if they all kind of dress the same because it's a military town? Oh, how was it? Yeah, we were going to start looking for the cargo shorts and crocs, but how does spot

a, how does spot a Midwest man in the wild without using clothes as a reference point? Well, what's nice is if you are in a bar that's not too busy, they're probably going to be be bellowed up. So that's going to be the back of their head. But when you walk in, they're going to turn around and look at you with no expression on their face and then turn back around and take a drink of their beer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They're not going to say anything. They're not going to give you any look of any sort. They're just going to turn around. See who's here? Turn back around.

Yeah, they're observing. You know, and that's because they are in, um, you, you, you, you, you ever see a deer when it's drinking from a stream? That's kind of the same thing. They just put their hat up. They look for you, go back to drinking. And that's, we talked about this on the podcast before. We had the deer.

Wes, man, our deer. Yeah, we are dear and you have to treat us as such. The dear the Bucke men. Um, or spike, you know, depending on how emotionally mature they are. Um, here is a way that you can really tell. So if you go up to a guy you think he you guys might have a little chemistry together. Okay, you just bump into him and if he says, oh, sorry, even though you bumped into him, dead giveaway. Dead giveaway.

Um, I got a bump into all of them. Well, not all of them. I mean, kicked out because the bartender thinks you're too drunk because you just keep doubling around. She's been over served. She keeps bumping into everybody. She's like, I'm not over served them, just from the Midwest.

They're like, I'll try. I'm gonna find a man. I'll be like, no, no, no, no. Hear me out. Miles and Charlie told me. Yeah, blame it on us right away. It's all the covers with all the boys in here. It's not gonna work out.

Yeah, that's a good, that is a good thing. The other thing, if you are in a conversation and you can't tell yet, just see, well, this is good. If you can find a doorway in the bar, see if they are open the door for you. Well, here's another good move. Uh huh. You're just gonna wanna yell out something like,

let's place God to me, Raffle. And then, everyone's gonna look at you like you're crazy, right? Like, well, why would we have that here, right? And then the Midwestern people are gonna be like, yeah, I know, right? Yeah, someone is gonna. They're gonna be like, yeah, I know, right? Yeah, someone is going to be like, yeah, I agree with you. What the hell? Someone's going to fall in love with you in that moment. So buyer beware.

OK. You say that with caution. What is? So they don't have pull tabs over in first and in a beach. But what if I just put a couple in my pocket? Oh, it's at the bar and pull them off. If you sit at the bar and you pull out a stack of pull tabs that you bought, I mean, that's an investment.

And honestly, you want to be with the guy who is good with his money. If he's a good pull tab investor, that's the kind of guy you want to be hitching up with forever, you know? And he's going to come up to you and be like, Hey, what do we win? I didn't know they have these here. And you're like, we win, even though it's not his, you know, I know he's already, he's already involved. Great icebreaker. Then if you, if you do win one, you say, well, I win a date with you if you like him. And you, but then if you

don't, he'll already be. Yeah, yeah. See three in a row. Stay with you. See what you did there. But imagine if you won $500 and then couldn't remember the actual bar you bought those pull tabs from. You're just going to different bars. You found the love of her life. Oh, you still want $500. Yeah. Pay for wedding espos. Then the monitor has your hand and if you can find the bar they come from That's a movie right there. That is actually a movie. That's a great movie I think you gave us the concept for our first movie. Thank you Alice. Yeah Alice made by a single book midwestern notebook. That's a good one. I like that. I like that a lot

I'll take place. I bought you 365 poll tabs every day for a year. I'm looking over at Max, my producer who I think pitched that idea maybe like three months ago. I was like, yeah, I don't know. We'll see. And I'm like, yeah, Midwest, no, but great, great idea. It all depends on my beers. I had. That's a great idea. It all depends on my do. Yeah. Well, how do you feel? Do you feel satisfied with our advice, Alice, or you want more? I feel like that's pretty good.

So I think the plan of action is walk in, play bumper cars, sit down, ask where the meat raffle is, pull out my full tab. Yeah, you mean, if you can execute on that game plan, it is foolproof. Check, check, check, check, you got it. Hook line and sinker hook line and sinker. You got and he'll love that because he's probably, uh, probably on the first day, take you to a honey hole, you know. He's talking about fishing spot.

I'm talking about on the lakes. Yeah. take you to a honey hole, you know. He's talking about fishing spot. I'm talking about on the lakes. Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah, you knew that's what he mentioned. You know, my own. I knew exactly what you talked about. OK.

I was part of it. Yeah, you're from Milwaukee, of course. You got it. Well, thank you for calling in Alice. And go look out there with the men. Keep us updated on if you find we should end this episode with the with the fuck is Alice song. Oh, that'd be good.

24 years. I've been living. Stalled. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Enough guys. Yeah, this has been great. Good luck on your, your search for Mr. Right. I'm the hunk on the, yeah, I like that.

That's great. Look on your hunt. Thanks. I was talking to you guys. I'm a huge fan, as well as the rest of my family. Oh, we'll tell your family. We said, hey, don't watch out for deer. Hit a deer.

Yeah. Just a cackling. Yeah. Just a good deerling. Yeah. Just a deer at the bottom. Yeah, the deer being. Yeah, hit one and if he says, Oh, you know, you got a good one. Yeah. All right, bad joke. I'll see you later.

I'm playing guys. All right, by Alice. Hi. You like that son? I actually don't really know it. You don't? No. Well, we're going to have to play it for you after this. Yeah, play it. Who sings it?

Doesn't matter. I don't know. It's, it's like not somewhat year. What era? I don't know. But, uh, glad that, I mean, I'm glad she knew that song. I was a lot of an awkward. If I did just first time you talked to her on the phone, you ask her who the fuck she is.

When you tell people, when I tell people my name, they always say, oh, sorry, Charlie, like the tuna, Charlie, the tuna, like if you tell older people my name, they say, sorry, Charlie, like, for again, I didn't know what that was, but then people said so much I YouTube dead. What do people say when you say your name's Miles, what's there go to?

Well, when they find out my brother's name is Chase that I do like I chase miles for miles That's funny pretty bad It's fun gets a laugh about a quarter of the time. Yeah, it's cute. Oh, I'm words. We're right. That was nice I think I was We'll find a man. I hope she finds love love. True so, yo. She's so young. Got plenty of dating years. Yeah, that's true. Don't lock it down too quick.

Okay, folks, October is here. Why are you laughing already? Why are you laughing? I'm trying to be, just go. I'm trying to be freaking professional here. Archery, it's Bo season for most of you. Now, Bo season, that's the time when the deer really built up their neck muscles from watching my arrows go like this.

I've had a few deer pulling neck. Actually, I shot at this one deer. He is neck went by so fast. He broke his friggin neck. And that's how he ended up on my wall. So anyways, archery and you want to get the really colorful one. That's the number of that before. Oh yeah, she's a nice bit. I actually just made it part of that up. What do they got if we've got archery stuff? New camo line. So you don't want to be the new about there doing archery, showing up in blaze orange.

You're going to be like, okay, you know, this time of year you can get a little funky with it, you know. They got the Blazorn, so for gun season, the camel for Bo season and then of course for muzzle loader season, they got the red coats. Anyway, the loader season, they got the red coats. Anyway, that's a good one. It's a good one. Anyway, you can get your kids crapped or jeez, I didn't mean to say that. You know, the kids are, I was like, Mom, can I get this? You got enough crap. But if it's hunting, it's good. If it's from the fleet farm, it's not crap. It's great for hunting and all that.

So prepare yourself. You know, get that scent lock, the under armor stuff. You're going to look so good too. You're going to look sexy in that blaze orange. Not in kid stuff, though. No, we separated that. We're not talking about kid stuff anymore. Cheese, Louise. All right. And good luck on the, and we're going to get all this stuff for bow hunting season Charlie We farm we love it We farm we love it. I'm not doing it again All right, go to free farm guys get your bow hard stuff. Let's cut out a kid. No, that'll stay. No, that's fine It's weird. No, I was ble. No, that's fine. That's weird.

No, it's bleep it out. It's fine. Very weird. All right, that's it. Good luck to all those new hunters and to the hunters everywhere. Yeah, good luck, hunters. Stay safe.

Hey, welcome to the Belly Up Podcast. Who we talking to? Olivia. Hey, Olivia. Olivia. How are Olivia. Olivia. How are you, Olivia? Where are you coming from? Milwaukee, actually.

Milwaukee. We just were talking to Alice who's from Milwaukee. Now we're talking to Olivia. We're in Milwaukee. We're about to Milwaukee. Overdown by like UWM, Florida. Yeah, well, we're over down there, sort of of too. We're over at Uncle Bucks right now. Yeah, well good to good. Thanks for calling in. What's cooking? What's going on in your mind?

Hmm. Oh so much, but I feel like I could really use some advice. I feel like I could really use some advice. So I live in Milwaukee my whole life. And even on Milwaukee's not a super big city, you know, compared to others, big city for Wisconsin, you know. Bigger than Toledo. I'd say it's about, how much bigger than Toledo is it? Toledo, Milwaukee's about two Toledo.

So then how big is Toledo? Toledo Toledo is about half a Milwaukee. Oh yeah. Sorry about that. We digress. But you live tear your whole life. Yes. And I'm currently seeing somebody who is like from Central Wisconsin. who is like from Central Wisconsin. Oh, yeah. What's his name? It's new. Uh, his name is Evan. Evan.

Evan. Evan and Olivia. Yeah. So you guys are still in the honeymoon phase, right? Yeah, you sound really. Yeah, I'm smitten. Yeah, you do sound smitten. How many dates have you guys got?

I know. Um, it's kind of hard just because I obviously still have Yeah, you do sound smitten. How many dates have you guys? It's kind of hard just because I obviously still live here and he's there. So I see him when I come to visit. I have friends that live in the area too. We're in central Wisconsin. The Marshfield area. Marshfield area. Yeah. Got it. Okay. Marshfield area. Marshfield area. Yeah. Got it. Okay.

Marshfield the Milwaukee. And she said area. She didn't want to get too specific. Well, I mean, people don't love giving out all their personal information. I'm just trying to do. I'm trying to give. I'm trying to give the best advice. So what are you wondering about here?

It's. What do you know? He's obviously a small town boy., my more of a city girl. And we get a lot of country songs about this. There are a lot of country songs about this. Romeo and Juliet. No, yes, but no. Right.

No, there's actually one right now. It's about that she can keep the lights if I can keep the country. Oh, yeah, it feels like it's going. You go walking your way. Yeah, I'll go walk. That's what it sounds like. I don't want it to be. Please steer us back in the right direction. But is that kind of what you're saying? Oh, no, I mean, hopefully not. We put those words in your mouth. You know, we're gonna let you talk. I wanna see how she gets mad at us first,

suggesting that I'm gonna find out if it's true love. We're talking all over her. We're being such dudes right now. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. We'll let you talk, Mike's here. Yeah, it's okay. Oh, I don't know. I guess what I, you know, we get along great and obviously, I mean, we like each other

enough, but we are very different people. And I feel like I'm, I'm really like nervous about impressing or like getting along with his friends. Like you don't know what else about being a country boy. And so you feel like you're gonna say something dumb. Yes, I already have. What'd you say that was so dumb? Oh, I mean, not, I mean, God, sorry, like, excuse me for not being a dairy farmer.

But I had a couple of questions. It's like the whole frickin' world blew up in my face. Well, what was your question? Are you comfortable sharing with us a safe space? Miles is laughing at me, not at whatever question you're about to ask. You know, because you have some really close friends that work on Geary Farm. And I got, you know, what did you say?

There were a lot of questions. I didn't say anything bad. But did you ask if you could milk a bowl? No, because and I think that's maybe part of the reason why they weren't so impressed with me because I was asked to and I did decline. Wait, asked to milk a bowl. That, you know, I want a bowl, but a cow.

Oh, got it. Because that, that would have been a, like, these friends are savage. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you declined milk in the cow? You didn't want to grab the tea. I think that really. Wee the tea. That well, you know, it's scared. Yeah. Yeah. But okay. So I think first of all, they shouldn't be making fun of you. It doesn't.

That's not very nice. Did he stand up for you? At least you're fella. He didn't. That'll happen. Yeah. Oh, he's just right. Well, at least you guys are at that point in your relationship where you can give each other shit. And are you upset that he didn't stand up for you? No. No, you how you really like this guy. Oh, so I mean, yeah, you know, okay.

All right. So, you know, you know, this is how the beginning of every good love movie starts though. It is. They're very different. And then, you know, the, the gal is, it's like every hallmark movie, right? They're like the big city gal comes home, whatever. Yeah. And then gets out, goes out with the friends, they ask her to milk the cow. And then she doesn't. And then there's ups and downs. And then it's love. And then there doesn't and then there's ups and downs and then it's love and then there's and then on the day of their wedding day She milks a cow. Yeah, like you're instead of giving him a ring you just bring out some iodine, you know to clean off the teeth, you know, I mean That's that's pretty nice right there. I think that you just yeah, I wouldn't be too worried about it

So every good hallmark movie starts. Yeah Yeah, no, I think that you just, yeah, I wouldn't be too worried about it. So every good hallmark movie starts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it's going to go ahead. We're talking over you. Go ahead. Oh, no, no. I mean, I guess I was just going to say I'm wondering, like, is the only way that I can get his friends on my side

is to like milk the cow. Or can I do something? I don't know. Can I do something else? But they'll be like, oh, yeah. We're going to pause right here. Um, and we're going to ask you, Olivia, what is the deeper issue between you not wanting to milk a cow? Hmm. I, you know, I just, I don't want to do it wrong. And I don't know.

Well, then why don't you just go leading to it and go, hey, I'd love to be able to milk a cow the correct way. Why don't you show me and they kind of do it like a cutesy like, hey, like how'd show me how to shoot this pool shot? Yeah. Swing golf club. Same thing. Show me how to milk a teet.

Yeah, that they would love to do that. And there is more than one way to milk cow. There is. You can do it by hand. And you got to make sure they don't kick the bucket because cows are kickers. So figure out where you're sitting. Or, you know, if they're doing the automatic thing that's sometimes easier, sometimes harder. No, that phrase is from kick the bucket. Yeah. No, it's there's more than one way to milk a cow. Yeah. It's wrong.

You guys, you never know to cow before. That was just funny. You know, have you ever delivered a calf, a breach calf? That's not funny. That's very serious for the for the Is she's never milked a cow. There's no way she's burned. I know some people are more into gloves than you know You put that big arm glove on you or you can go you don't want to go bear you know get

Anyways, I think there's a lot. I think you can Anyways, I think there's a lot, I think you can just milk this cow. I think it's a new experience. I understand you're a little afraid, but they will be there to teach you along the way. And you are going to screw up because it's your first time doing anything. Okay, another great idea. You need to make them feel just as insecure as you feel about milk and a cow somehow right so maybe a vitamin to Milwaukee the big city and

Then you take them to a fancy restaurant and you place a bottle of wine in front of them and make them feel bad about not knowing how to Swish the wine around and suck it through your teeth and all that stuff. I know. Yeah. I think they might double down on what I know. Is that what you do in the big I don't know if there are a lot of wine bars in Milwaukee. Are there? It's just a concept.

No, it's a great concept. Sorry, I should, sorry, I should be more supportive as a whole. That's a great idea. No, but I mean, if they're gonna make you feel like an idiot, you gotta make them feel like an idiot. I'm trying to find the right way. I know, we're spitballing. We're just spitballing.

Take them tailgating. Are they good tailgators? Yeah, that's a good idea. Go to a brewer's gate. But they're gonna know how to tailgate. They just drink beer. I don't know. I don't know. True. What's what they do. Go to a brewery. But they're gonna know how to tailgate. They just drink beer. I don't know. True.

What's what they do every other night? I know. Jesus is tough. You got to pick something that they don't. I know. We need to get them fish out of water feeling, you know? Yeah. Do you have any ideas like that?

Oh, I don't know. I mean, they're not fancy people. Oh, okay. So, maybe a thing. The line of China is a good idea, but I mean, either I'd be line straight through my teeth. I don't know. Jack said about what? Neither do we.

No, not at all. You can tell by the way I was saying, suck it through your teeth. I don't know. Right. Well, you know, I think let's just, let's not, you don't need to fight fire with fire. Okay, you need to fight fire with, just bring them over and show them how fun you are at tailgating. And the next time you go up there,

just don't be afraid of the cow, they'll guide you there. And it helps if you make a little connection with the cow first, you know, just a little petting, little comfort. I was just trying to, if she really doesn't want to milk the cows, trying to come up with other ideas for that could maybe be an alternative to gain the respect

because it sounds like it's a respect thing. She's trying to earn. Yeah, well, I mean, you could, I just keep going to the bowl. What other animals do they have? Good milk of chicken. You know what? Just just mess with them.

Just every time you go there, just say, so do do chicken, set of teats, you know, can you, can you just keep messing with them and just embrace double down on the not knowing anything and then saying and almost doing it in a condescending way. Right. Right.

And then over time, you'll learn enough to know enough, but you have now set the bar so low that anything you do, you'll walk right over it that will be impressed. Yeah, just be real sarcastic, say stuff like I think that soy milk or almond milk tastes way better than regular milk. That'll get them mad. Yeah. Oh, that did get them mad. Oh, yeah. I started, started talking about how bad GMOs are.

That'll really make them mad. Yeah. Find an oak tree and say where are the nipples on the oak tree? You know, teats, teats technically. Yeah. Um, so, yeah, all those are good options. But I think at the end of the day, what you're going to I'm having to do is you're going to have to get down there and you're going to have to milk a tea. It's where it sounds. Squeeze it. Yeah, I feared that, but I think you're right. Yeah, I feared this. But I think you're right.

Well, practice, you know, no, no, no. I was going to say that's not what I was going to say. Do not put that there. I was going to say I was, no. That was not my advice. I was going to say on a turkey baster, OK? OK, that's not where I was going with that you guys you're so you know see

this is what his friends were doing to you you know now my really knows how you feel yeah I did not mean it like that okay you wanted to practice on a turkey based herkey based her okay not whatever you weirdos were thinking about. Anyways, did we help you or no? Enough. Yeah. Enough. You're saying enough. Don't say enough. Enough. Stop talking. The ideas are swirling. All right. Well, that's, you know, we're an idea-swelling podcast.

That's what we're all about here. Yeah. Thank you for bellying up to the bar with us. Of course. Thank you. Yeah. And your fellow's name is, I forget, Evan, Evan, tell Evan we says hi.

I got all the gifts back. Don't get off your back. Yeah, tell them to relax a little, you know. Tell them that he's not going to get lucky anymore if he keeps him and his buddies keep picking on you. Tell them your hands are too cold to touch a teeth. So you got to warm them up a little. Otherwise, cow is going to get an excited kick them in the the willy, you know, enough Charlie. She said enough already. She doesn't want any more advice.

Ever see a cow do one of them side kicks? They'll kill you. See, you know, horse kick before. Yeah, it's, it's a little different, but close. All right. Well, tell your folks. I says hi and watch out for teats on the way home. Yeah.

Okay. Keep her moves in. That's a fake clap. She's so over this. No. See you. Okay. Bye. Thank you.

I didn't mean it like that. That was, I think you kind of did. No, I said practice. Practice on something of that, you know, I mean, a Terrikey bass there's not really great because it's hard plastic, you know, and that's it's not the trying to think what you could practice on. Oh, you could fill that's what you could do. You could fill up a glove with warm water and

poke a little holes in the glove. There you go. It's pretty good. I like that. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't think I would do it, but not, but if you wanted to practice. You need it too. What do you think of her? I mean, it's pretty, I mean, like, it's pretty standard. If you are the friends, your friends, new girlfriend, you're going to kind of pick on her a little bit. That's like also, like, if they're not picking on you, maybe they don't like you either. Yeah, it's not. I wish I what I thought of that when she was on the phone. But yeah, and it's the best advice comes later on. Yeah. Well, if you listen to this now, they like you because they're picking on you. Let's go with that. Have you ever milked the goat?

No, I've never milked the goat. I did. I did once. I was okay at it. That wasn't great. What was the good's name? Billy, you were going to ask that. Was it Billy? It could have been Billy coach. I don't know. All right. Yeah. Well, it was at the state fair.

Actually, it wasn't even on a farm. Yeah, tomato tomato. Yeah, I did it. Same church, different pew. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, this is a good talk. So Charlie, what do you I just play so guys I just played the song Alice Who the

Alice so I say Alice four years. I've been living next door to Alice Alice. Hold on fucking Alice. Yeah, saying that we say they're British Okay, yeah Oh, the fucking is Alice. Yeah. Yeah. They're British. Okay. Yeah. Um, but yeah, what do you think? It's face lit up when they did a catchy. It's very catchy. You got to do that as your go to touch tune song at the bar.

It's unexpected and and and catchy. Yeah. I mean, it's a great sing along. I think it's way better than things like a sweet caroline and those ones that people exactly be played at your wedding. Yeah, actually, yeah, it's a song that Anne's going to walk down the aisle. It's a song that Anne's going to walk down the hallway to walk down the hallway.

And then she went, she gets to the aisle, a play different song. Yeah, that's I'll be in with a play a different song. Yeah, that's obvious. And with a bright made. Yeah. No, I think you got any recommendations, songs I could play while I ends walking down the aisle? Canon and A. Everybody does Canon and D, you know, do it in A. Right? I don't know. Do you know what do you have any recognition in your

mind mental recognition for the name Canon and D? Yeah, but I don't know what it is for. It's like a song. It's like the wedding song that everyone uses when they walk down the aisle. It goes, I don't know. I don't know. You know how it is. And then so instead of in D, why not put it in A? But like like transpose it. I don't know. I don't know if that if they're saying that cannon is in D or if I've never heard it transpose, because has anyone ever

played cannon in A? I don't know. There's a very complicated question. I know. I want to follow along and know what you're talking. Well, so deal with your talk. Right. Well, you play the guitar. If you play something in G, right? That's right. That's what I was saying. Yeah. Played in a different key. Played in a cannon in a. Now, if you play cannon in D in A, well, that's a whole other shabang. So is D the key or is D like cannon in D? Also, if it is in D cannon and D was a team mean.

I don't know. Mm hmm. I don't know. Take a guess. Yeah. I don't know. It's a wedding song. Charlie would your mom be happy about you bringing this up?

Bring what up? What D means? I think it someone loads the letter D into a canon, like in Sesame Street. Like today we're doing the letter and D. This is canon in D. So I guess the can would have to be in the D in the middle part. Canon very phallic though. So that makes you wonder if maybe they're getting a little naughty with it. Anyway, thanks for listening to the podcast. Yes.

Rick, the Cripes cast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We love you guys. We do. Thanks for calling out. Yeah. Hey, just so you guys know, we're like, we've been talking a lot. We have to do this again tomorrow, Charlie. So imagine how silly you're going to be by the end. You're going to just be a silly little guy. That's a happy. Can I slap you tomorrow?

Yeah, it'll make me happy. Where? Okay. Well, that's about it. I suppose it's about that time. Thank you guys for listening. Keep your moving. Watch for deer.

Follow us to the places that you think that we might be. And yeah, we'll see you next week.