Bellied Up - A Very Canadian Bar Fight #112

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

The first caller is a Missourian who is in the fight of his life with his backyard. The next caller is a Canadian who tells us a story about a bar fight at his local watering hole and also shares a great shirt idea. The last caller gives us an update (Episode 77) about her husband wanting to put up deer mounts in the living room. HIRED FROM THE NECK DOWN SHIRT Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Check Out Myles' other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Betcha Radio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Charlie's other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cripescast

Welcome back to the Bellied Up podcast, everybody. I'm here with my lovely brother, Charlie. Thank you, my uncle to my son, Uncle Uncle Chuckie, Uncle Chuckie. Yeah, that should be dude. But you should do the sequel to Uncle Buck. Uncle Chuck. I like that. Yeah. And it's said the Midwest, ain't it? It is. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think that. Yeah. And it's said in the Midwest, ain't it? It is. Yeah. Yeah.

I think so. I think that's just the suburb of Chicago. I can't bring that up to a star in it. You could be Uncle Chuck. That would be a great idea, Miles. Maybe we'd produce that, you know, maybe we. Let's write a script, have Chad GBT write it up. Oh, my God. And that's how it's going.

These is how it's going these days. You know, you never know. Well, Miles, I'll tell you this much. I'm a pretty good uncle. All right. I just want to lay the groundwork for that. OK. Yeah. I mean, I would have a lot of fun games for starters. I would be like, all right, Olympics, let's do it. Let's do Uncle Olympics.

Okay. You know, so instead of the high dive, it would be putting like the, putting the, so you put the life jacket diaper on, you know, and you go to the edge of the boat and you have two beers in your hand and you have to plunge into the water without getting a drop of lake water into your beers. Okay.

You're gonna do that with your nieces and nephews? Oh no, they're watching from the boat. Oh, you like uncle Olympics means that you are doing the Olympics. I'm doing the Olympics. They're, they're rating me. I thought it was you're putting on the Olympics for your nieces and nephews. Well that could be a whole other case instead of a high dive. It's a, how high can you throw them in the air into the water? That's true.

I'd probably think of more self-serving games. Like how quickly can you get me a beer from the fridge and get back here without hitting your head on one of those sharp corners? I'll time you. Yeah, that's a good one. You time them. That's what happens. You know, every single time it's 12 seconds to, yeah. Yeah. Doesn't matter how fast it goes. Try again to beat your time. God, 12 seconds again. Try again. Yeah. I'm gonna need another one. Yeah. I like that. I like that. Speaking of the Olympics, Olympics are going on, Charlie. They are going on. What would you say is would be if the Midwest put on an Olympics, what would be, you know, similar to the uncle Olympics? What would be the Midwest Olympics in your mind?

Synchronized skiing. Yeah. You know, behind a boat, we get to and then it's just we pull out the beers at the same time. Well, I was saying, yeah, then you add in flair, right? It's like you judge them based off of their form. You judge them off of entertainment value. Did you pretend to fall and go like that? But you really were in control the whole time.

Right, right. And number of years drank while skiing. Of course. And we have a panel of judges and Illinois always gives it a five no matter what it is. Yeah, that would be great. Also backing in a boat, like two cars, two boats, and then backing it in in the quickest time. Well, it's quickest time. It's also tightest parking spot. Yes. You know, it's getting it tightest to the dock. It's about speed and finesse. Yeah and style too Yeah, like did you have to you know? Noodle around the other way were you jackknifing it at any point? Yeah, and how many people were watching? Oh, we have a slight jackknife by Charles Barron's that's gonna be a deduction for him How's he gonna recover from that? You know? Yeah. And then you have different trailer lengths and styles, you know?

I like doing gymnastics just off the dock. So you just do a somersault off the dock, you know, or long jump. Oh, the long jump. That might be better. Long jump into the water. That's easier. Yeah. And then you could even, what, what would the, Speaker 0.(1h 5m 4s): And then tubing is also in the Midwest Olympics. And basically what happens is your drunk uncle takes you to be. And if you don't die, you get a medal. Great. That's great. Just don't die and we'll give you a gold medal. Speaker 3.(1h 5m 16s): Is that there's pole vaulting kit. What can you do with a fishing pole vaulting? Yeah. So you just you just go and break. You go fishing at the river and whoever doesn't get their fishing

or their lure caught in a tree, they get a medal. I also I have this vision of someone just trying to pull vote with a fishing pole. Like, oh, yeah. And it just like it probably have to be a cane pole or a musky pole to even get like some sort of traction doing it. But it's going to break any way you do it. And that'd be really sad to lose a musky pole in that way. That would be a sad ending to the Olympics. I don't think anyone would go home with the gold. You could do you could do driving. Right. And it's the obstacles are road construction and deer. And yeah,

who can navigate the course amongst avoiding all of the obstacles that pop up? Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It would be on a closed course. It would be safe. That wouldn't be real deer out there. Well, decoys Charlie, I mean, it'd be a little bit more interesting. There's a real deer in that, you know, my favorite or moving target. Here's what I want really sincerely them to incorporate into the Olympics. You know, they have the pentathlon where they're skiing with the 22. You know, they ski in this. I want to do that.

But I'm like those long like skis that you just can use on the road. Those rollerblade skis, you know, or maybe just do it with rollerblades or just do it with water skiing. Oh, way smarter. That's fun. You know, or maybe just do it with roller blades or just do it with water skiing. Oh Way smarter, that's fun. Yeah, I wonder water skiing with a 22 on your back. What can go wrong? Nothing I don't think well, you know the way we could do it is Is do like I suppose a super soaker would be the only way you'd really be able to do that But that would be fun. Actually we should get Do you have water skis at your lake house? Yeah.

You want to go waters? We should get some, some sick nerf super soakers and get up to two skiers. Do you have two sets of skis? We can find some. Okay. That would be great. Yeah. That'd be a fun video right there.

You and me just soaking each other while we're while we're skiing Yeah, it'd be fun. We call it soaking Miles you dirty dog you Don't google that kids Well, here we are ready bellied up to the bar for another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast. Thank you all for watching, following along, doing the thing, tipping your bartender, and we're ready to rock and rear and get some calls going for you guys.

Answer some questions. Buy, sell, or trade, I'll shut up, let's do it. Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who do we have on the horn today? Oh my God. Oh my God, You're here. Joel Cullen. Yo Cullen.

Yo Cullen? No, Joel. Joel? Joel. Joel, that's my uncle's name, Joel. Yeah, yeah. I've heard, I've heard. Yeah, you had that L at the end.

It's nice. Joel, belly on. Yeah. That L at the end. It's nice. Joel belly belly. I like your energy. Joel, you've been drinking on this afternoon or no more of the greener stuff. Stony baloney. Joel is sound like my buddy Ryan's college buddies. Oh, belly on up to the bar and let us know what's on your mind. Joel. All righty. Well, okay. I bought a pool for my kids. Okay. And this year I was like, I'm going to set it up above ground or below ground. It's above ground, above ground pool. You can tell Joel's do not buy below ground pool? It's above ground. Above ground pool. You can tell.

Joel's do not buy below ground pools. I can tell you that right now. No, we don't. No. Especially with four kids under the ages of eight. No, you buy them something they can pop. Hey, congrats on the sex, Joel. Exactly, exactly.

Joel, do me fucking. Joel is getting it. Good for you, Joel. Well, okay. So is getting, getting it. Good for you, Joel. Well, okay. So I was getting my backyard ready for it. And so I dug a little area. So I was like, okay, I can level out this ground.

And then there happened to be a tree in the way. And so what do you mean? I cut down this tree. What do you mean there happened to be you choose the location that you were doing this? It didn't just pop up overnight. It's not like you started digging the spot and then, Oh my God, a tree sprouted. You got a full on above ground pool. This is like one of those spendy above ground pools, right?

This is, yeah, yeah. This isn't a toys for us purchase. This is you had to go to a natural pool store yeah I did the the cheap pool last year and I'm doing the good pool this year or was and then we'll get into yeah so okay I was gonna say I go ahead I ran into this tree well I didn't run into it it was there and as I was going to say, I ran into this tree. Well, I didn't run into it. It was there. And as I was marking out the area for it, I realized the pool was a little bigger.

So I have to go a couple feet this way and there's a tree there. So I cut the tree down and then I was like, took a little break, got a little stoned. And it was like, oh, I need to dig up these roots. And then I started digging and then there's just more roots and now there's just my whole backyard is just torn up. So I had to put up the cheat pool

for the summer at the moment. I'm still trying to get this tree root out. And folks, this brings us, hang on, Joel, you'll have to just excuse us for a moment because this brings us to our bellied up PSA. Folks, if you are installing an above ground pool in your backyard for your children, do not get high before or during the process.

You will end up with more roots than you have pool. Now Joel, continue, where are we at right now? What's the latest status? The latest status is my cheaper pool was put up off to the side and there's a big square inch of just dirt with a big pile of dirt with grass growing on it now. And then my dad came by. I was just going to ask. And dad did the dad thing.

What did you do? I was going to say dad did the dad thing and he literally just said, Oh, you just do this and that. And then he puts a winch up to the other tree and then he just left. So I've had a winch on it for like two weeks. Did he show up and go, no, he said he's good. Did he show up and go, God, Joel, what are you doing back here? Yeah. They let you have it a little. Well, he just looked and shook his head and he goes, I think I can have a silver bullet.

I'm going to go with the silver bullet. I'm going to go with the silver bullet. I'm going to go with the silver bullet. Did he show up and go God yeah Joel, what are you doing back here? Yeah, they let you have it a little Well, he just looked and shook his head and he goes I think I can have a solution Okay, and then winch the tree up and then said something about a chainsaw and then that's two weeks ago then he disappeared and You have not found a chainsaw, but you probably have found more edibles. Oh definitely definitely found a chainsaw, but you probably have found more edibles. Oh, definitely, definitely. Well, I think one, you know, I know we can't do anything about it now, but I think you had a missed opportunity.

You could have just built the pool around the tree. And then one, they would have had shade. And two, you could have put a swing on it and they could have swung into the pool from the tree. Yeah, Joel, you never cut down a tree for a pool. You cut a hole in your pool and thank you. Yeah. A tree in the pool is the coolest thing in the tree in the pool. You had coolest dad status. He's writing that down. Yeah. Yeah. He should be writing it down. He's right. I was going to say, I might

forget it here in a minute after the phone call. What to do. No, what you do, yeah, he should be writing it down. He's right. I was gonna say I might forget it here in a minute after the phone call what to do. No, what you do, Joel, get the receipt from the dispensary, get a pen and write it on the back of that. Okay. Next time, you know, in the meantime, we've got this yard that's all tore up that we got to deal with immediately. Okay, so do you have a pickup truck? That I do. Okay, does it have? You don't have a hookup on you. My fear is I pull the pickup. I feel like if I pull the pickup back there,

knowing my luck, I'm just going to tear up even more of my yard. That's true. Joel, I think you've three strikes and you're out. I think you have the option now of either phoning a professional or down in your dad. Delegating here. Okay. I got a strategy for you, Joel. You got four kids. You got four kids. Yeah. They're eight, eight, six, and five. Great age for this. Yeah. So what you're going to do is you're going to tell them that there's buried treasure in the backyard and it's going to, you're going to put a big X with spray paint where the location that you want that route dug up. And you say underneath that route is buried treasure. And you're going

to give them a few shovels and a little bit of a can do attitude. And they're just going to start digging and they're going to do all the work for you. And then at the end, just be like, well, I guess my map wasn't right. There's no buried treasure, but good thing we got that route. Smart. I got you. Oh no. You say, Hey, just kidding. There's no buried treasure, but now we can put the big pool in. And that's the treasure. It's a symbolic treasure. That's good. You got to do. You got to do what Charlie and my dad do. Charlie's dad and my dad. Just make your kids do all the work. That's smart. That is smart. I got the same. It's good parenting. Yeah. Your dad did do the

same. He wrapped a chain around your root deal and said, figure it out. Well, and honestly, you've started to dig out the backyard. Why don't you just put a below ground pool in at this point? I mean, you've already done the hard work. This is half the money. Say you're in for a penny. What is it in for a penny out the pool? What is it? What's that phrase? Jake in for a look it up. I don't know. Charlie. So I guess my question right now is, is this root situation even feasible for you to get out? By yourself do you even know how penny out for a pound? That's all sorry anyways. No, that's okay I was just laying for you to get that

Oh, you were just filling time. I was stalling there miles. That's what I was doing I was and I will say your phrase Definitely did not disappoint in for a penny out for a pound. You know what? It did disappoint. That's like mixing British and US currencies right there. Isn't it?

Yeah, I don't know what this saying is. Yeah, it's kind of goofy. Okay. Well, let's you. I was gonna say it sticks, the stump sticks up probably about a foot and a half. And it's probably like, I know I should just probably just go rent a chainsaw

and make this easier again. You could. But last time I did that, I rented a chainsaw and started, and I started cutting the roots that I dug up, but then there's just more roots under that. That's the thing about roots, Joel. It's like pulling a thread, it just, the whole thing unravels.

They keep going and chainsawing, I'll speak from some experience on that, chainsawing roots is complicated stuff. You can easily get your saw in the dirt. It's really not the most effective way to do that. They have a tool or they have kind of like, oh, what is it called? Like this is where you call the professionals

because this is an expensive piece of machinery, but they got some that just chews all that stuff up and gets it gone. Joel, I got a great line for you. You ever have a backyard part barbecue and your buddies come over and they go, Joel, what the hell happened back here? And you can just look them square in the eye and

go blame it all on my roots. And then you get a big laugh and it diffuses the situation. It's all worth it for that. I was going to say we, we, we had some rain earlier, so the kids had a good mud pit out. Well, that was one of your minus suggestions. Turn this into a water park. You know, steer into the stump a little bit and do like a slip and slide that goes around it. Well played, Miles.

I think that's what the kids are expecting me to do. Yeah, just do it. Steer into the stump. Yeah, it's kind of, yeah, I kind of like that. You can dig underneath the stump and then they can just kind of go down and up, you know, and then up and down. Now, if it rains, you have yourself a little pond there. And if you've ever been to the mall of America in Minneapolis, Minnesota, there's a famous theme park ride called the log shoot and you already got the logs cut

down the tree. Just turn it into a nice log shoot for the kids. Everybody loves wood and water. So you got all the ingredients there for a great time. And I think with a little bit more imagination, it's all going to come to fruition. You just need to maybe hit the green stuff. You know, you know people would say wow he needs to get off of that. Look at the situation He's in make your situation even better if you double down and go a step further And then you can get really creative steer into the stump Joel. We got you into this weeds gonna have to get you out

Yeah into this, we'd going to have to get you out. Yeah. No, that's the only, it sounds like the only solution. I think so. I mean, your dad is clearly giving up. He doesn't want to tie. He's just hoping you figure it out. I think he, he just looked into my eyes and saw how red they were. Like, no, no, not today. Hey Joel, I'm going to ask you, is there any day that you're, that would be good for your dad to come over or is it this an everyday bro thing? See, I'm a middle child. So I say it's like he comes over about once or twice a week. That's pretty good for a male child. Once or twice. Okay. Okay. It's more like the stop

by to say hi to the kids. Yeah. He's not there for you. Yeah. It's smart. That's why when I asked him for the dad task, he just shakes his head and winches it up. Yeah. Well, I feel like your solution is there. You just got to kind of get out in the yard and do it. What's the temperature where you're at today? Today is actually pretty nice. We had a rain storm this morning, but like 85 humidity ish. So your backyard is a big old mud pile. At the moment, yeah. Oh my God.

Joe, you gotta get this taken care of. Joe. Joe. I know. I know. How deep do you gotta dig down that you keep running into roots? Well, I dug down. So I only dug down about four inches, give or take to like make it

level in this whole area. But then the there's tree roots. And so I was like, God damn it. Let me break this one up, cut it up. And then all of a sudden I dig over here and there's another one. I'm like, okay. And then when I dig over here and there's another one i'm like Okay, and then when I measured again, I was like damn tree. Let me get rid of this thing I think you're probably dealing with several trees at this point. Where's the other where's the other closest tree? Like these roots run deep. Yeah, they do You know, Joe, like what I really want is just a picture of your backyard right now. Wish I could get that. Do you have a picture? Yeah, I can send one here. Send it to the bellied up Instagram page. Yeah. DM it to us. Also, before we let you know, I need to

know what's the, what's the real root of the problem here? Why isn't this getting done? I see what you did there. Honestly, I think one of the bigger things is, is like, I work in an elementary school and I'm custodian. So I work like a morning shift. So I'm there at like six in the morning to like three in the afternoon. And then I get home and it's just like, for a second there, it's just like relax. And then kids dinner. Well, you're like, so then you, by the time I use, I, it's usually only like

the weekends I've been able to like get out there. Well, in the summer, fine. Like, yeah, you get home from work at three and you're like, God, I would just love to relax by the pool. And there's no pool to speak of Joel. I'm going to remind you. Yeah, there is the kiddie pool. The good news is Joel, you don't have a pool deep enough. Anyone can drown in it. So let's keep the, let's keep it all in perspective. The bad news is you screwed up and I'm going to give you a tip for the next time you try to put a pool in your backyard. Measure twice, cut once.

And by cut once, I don't mean don't cut anything if you don't have to. You lean into it. I think the best advice we have is, um, is to just the next time you have a tree, you put your pool around that tree. Walk with me a little bit, Charlie here. Why does the pool need to be level? Yeah. Does it? Well, cause it'll all slam one way. The water always is level. Just don't fill it up as high. That's true. Yeah. Water. I never thought about it like that miles. Why does it need to be flat? That's definitely a weed thing. Joel, you're going to have to stop smoking weed. I think, I think

we figured it out there. And we understand if you're like, that's a, that's a no-go, but just, it's just put, put it down. See what happens. No, I understand. I, I, I'm not much of a drinker. And so that's why I smoked the gun. Yeah. It's a no judgment zone here. Joel, just set up that pool and let the grass grow around it and call it a day. Summer's halfway over, more than halfway over. You've gotta get water in that pool, Joel. Joel. Your kids are counting on you. It doesn't need to be level,

and if someone says, why didn't you level it, you just look them square in the eye and say it's good enough for who it's for. Exactly. They can't argue with that logic. There we go. All right, I'm convinced to just go do it. There we go.

Good, Joel. Hey, glad we could help you here. You got anything you want buy, sell, or trade before we let you go? Yes. No, but I do have a bone to pick here. You guys constantly pick on Missouri. Yeah.

And being Midwest and everything. And I would say we're pretty Midwest-y right in the middle. More states touch us than any other state. Joel, I would say you're pretty Midwest being right in the middle. More states touch us than any other state. Joel, I would say you're in Missouri right now, digging up half your yard for an above ground pool. That's as Midwest as it gets. My guy. You're right. But also kind of giving us evidence to kind of rag on Missouri because you dug up your yard and didn't put the pool in and

your high as a kite. Yeah, you you're in the Midwest. I was gonna say they did just they did just legalize it recently. So yeah, it's probably most Missourians nowadays. You know that Missouri is just the cousin that he's a funny cousin. You know, it's really funny when Joel was explaining his situation. I mentally had pictured Missouri in my head somehow. So I don't know where that came from, Joel, but keep representing Missouri.

OK, my guy, you're doing a great job and send us a picture of what it looks like now. And then when you get it in the in the ground finally and get that sucker going, I want to see an after pic too. OK, well, I'll send you a paragraph. This call here. Perfect, Joel. Thank you, my guy. Tell your kids we say hi. Well, they love you guys. Well, I don't love you, Joel. And I.

All right. Yeah, no, I'm a fan. First time caller. Hey, I'll take love yet. Any day. Joel. I love you too. I love you back. My guy. We'll see you soon. Okay. Have a good one. All right. God, you gotta love that guy. You gotta love him. That was good. Panic. I love you. Yeah, I imagine that's how he just got his wife is he Was super high panicked and told her he loved her and she was like, okay, let's do this One day we're gonna have a beautiful yard in Missouri with a pool in the back and a tree stump I love you. Well, Joe, we love you too.

Should we take another call? Let's take another caller. Holy cow. Hey, this is Carter from British Columbia, Canada. Oh, right. Our brother's up north. How are you, Carter? How are you?

Oh, not so bad. How are you guys today? We're doing pretty good, my guy. Thanks for asking. Belly on up to the bar. Tell us what's on your mind. Absolutely. So I got a funny story last year on my mom's birthday

and my mom and I kind of got into a bar fight and I just kind of want to tell you guys about it. You got into a bar fight with your mom on her birthday. You fought your mom and you and your mom fought someone else. No, definitely never going to play my mom. I don't get beat up, but her birthday is by pretty close to Halloween. So we all got dressed up and we went out to this little like I'm from a really small town. Like we got like a thousand people here. And, uh, we went to this other small town, Nicole's, it's kind of like

small villages all around us. And then, uh, we get to the bar and, uh, there's this kid there and he was probably like, uh, 19 to 21 and he was leaning against the pool table. So I was like, Hey man, like that's, that's a big no, no, you don't mean against the pool table or sit on it unless you're playing right. And then he's chirping me. He's being annoying. And I go off for a dirt break with my mom and I was like, oh man,

this kid's just being annoying. And she's like, oh, which one? I was like, oh, you know, the kid second sitting on the pool table. I told him twice not to do it. And, uh, I come back in and honestly, there was an accident. I spilt his beer and then he's being all annoying. He's like, uh, Oh, you gotta buy me a new beer. You gotta buy me a new beer. And I was like, dude, no, you're in this respect. Well, you're not listening. Like, uh,

and then my mom sees all this promotion going on. So she comes over and she's like, Oh, what's going on? And the guy's like, Oh, he's going to buy me a new beer. My mom was like, no, no, no. She's like, Oh, wow. He spilled your beer. What are you going to do about it? And then next thing I know, my mom grabs them and chucks them on the ground and she's caught them in a rear naked choke. And I'm like, mom, like you can't just be putting people in chokeholds at the bar. And I was, yeah. And then she's like, Carter, Carter, stop. I'm like, mom, I haven't even done anything yet. So then I'm like, I get my mom off this guy and then

he's chirping me. He's like, well, your mom's got to fight all your battles for you. Your mom's got to fight for you. I'm like, dude, I don't got to do anything. She's kind of kicking your ass. And then, uh, and he's just a kid. He's probably like 150 pounds, soaking wet. And, uh, like it was a pretty even fight between him and my mom. And, uh, and then he's, he's still chirping, still going off. And then eventually I see him push my mom and once that happened I kind of I grabbed him and threw him on the table and then on the ground I didn't hit him at all but I'm like hey man my mom's protecting you not me and then the party kind of breaks up everyone kind of leaves the bar and they're like oh that's my mom she's like mom. She's like, don't go back. He's out there. He's out there.

And my mom's like, Oh, I'm going to go back because he is out there. We go outside and she, she's the kid and he's still chirping. And you can tell he's never really been punched before. And finally my mom had enough again outside and she winds up and hits them with a huge haymaker. And then he's like, Oh, you hit me, you hit me. And my, our friends were driving by and it's hilarious out the window. She's like, no Carter didn't hit you. It's not mom. Sorry about the language. What was your mom's Halloween costume?

She and my stepdad dressed up as a five verse five. Oh, what is five verse five? Five verse five. It's like a really old Nintendo game. Okay. Is it a, is it kind of like Mortal Kombat? It should be. Okay. Is it, is it kind of like Mortal Kombat? It should be. Okay. Um, that's awesome. First of all, I would love to meet your mom considering that

she's going out on her birthday around Halloween dressed up, hawking darts, putting kids in rear naked chokes and, and haymakers in the back alley. Your mom needs a TV show. Oh, it was awesome. And then my stepdad and my girlfriend were both like, what is your stepdad doing at this point? Yeah. He was like holding us both back at different times and he's holding my mom back and then he's holding me back. And then I'm holding my mom back and then she's holding me back. And then as the commotion happened, he's going around picking up all the Halloween costumes with my girlfriend and my girlfriend went and paid the bar tab is like a whole family or deal.

Everyone knows their role though. Stepdad's hold back guy is a girlfriend is to make sure that they're not, you know, skipping out on their tab. She's like tossing in an extra a hundred or like they should take care of the mess. You know? Yeah. And then we get in the car. My mom's like, Oh, best birthday ever. And I go up and apologize to the bar. And I'm like, Oh, sorry, man. I didn't want to make a mess in your bar. And he's like, oh, don't worry about it. We haven't had a fight here for a while. So that was awesome.

OK, um, wow. I don't know where we even go from here. It was your mom do for a living. Also, there's just no way this is the first time this has happened. How many bar fights has your mom gotten in? Well, she likes to like back when we were playing hockey, she would always stay right close to the other team's parents and try to out-sheer them. And yeah, there's been a couple of little pathos here and there. This all makes perfect sense. Your mom is a Canadian hockey mom. Okay. That ties the

whole story together. When I picture a Canadian hockey mom, she's smoking darts at the bar, putting kids in rear naked chokes and throwing punches. And saying that's the best birthday ever. Well, do me a favor this year for your mom's birthday. Take her back to the exact same bar and just see what happens. Yeah. Everyone at work certain certain color, Rocky and they got all sorts of nicknames for her and how did this kid die? Go ahead. No, go ahead. I guess this kid, he's been annoying people at his job. So everyone's like, Oh, don't make me get stuff out here. Yeah. Yeah. She's the enforcer around the, around the town.

I would actually love to get your mom on the podcast. Yeah. What's your mom up to right now? Oh, she lives out in the enterprise. She doesn't. She just got the Starlink and she got really bad service. I don't think we both don't have a phone. Well, how are we talking to you then? I'm on my girlfriend's phone. What the hell? You guys, neither of you guys have phones?

No, it's not like we're hippies or anything. It's just, I don't know. Yeah. That's just the way it worked out. What do you, what do you, how do you listen to our podcast? How did you know we were doing this today? I downloaded every single one on a, I got a little MP3 player that I take to work and I listen to you guys. You download them on Spotify in the morning and then I listen to them at work. Yeah. You're a super fan, dude. What do you do for work? All right. Now I work at a mill. That's Peter mill. That adds up. I mean, it's yeah. There's

like I graduated. I was in the army for three years and then I was a blogger for seven years. Then I built some bridges and now I work at the mill. I'd say thank you for your service, but wrong country, wrong country. I don't want to thank him for Canada. We're keeping here. Weird as Canada even get stationed. Oh, like if Toronto has an ice storm or something like that. That's awesome, man. What's your mom do for a living? Did we get that answer? Oh, right now, she's a manager at a grocery store, but like

just how stubborn she is. So my, when my, uh, I'm a logger and my stepdad's a logger. She started logging cause she's like, well, if I'm gonna have to hear about how hard your job is, I'm going to come and do it too. So she was 50 years old bogging. Can I just say, I love how every job that you or your mom has, you started off by saying right now, meaning that that job's probably not going to last very long.

Yeah. Oh, Logan's pretty hard on the on the knees in the back. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Imagine for sure. Well, listen, that that's that's a beautiful family tale that you have there. And it's one for the ages. What is your girlfriend think of all this? Oh, she's used to it by now. Yeah. How long you been dating her? She's five years, five years. You're going to propose or what? Oh, I got to get money for a ring. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Does she want you to propose? Oh yeah. Definitely. I shouldn't say this, but I know I'm not podcast, but she, she proposed to me already. And I just felt like, Hey man, like I kind of want to do that.

Well, it sounds like your mom needs to, here's a way to earn some extra cash. Put your mom in the senior division of the UFC and then you can be your trainer and you take 10% of her earnings and you can buy a ring. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. You, you probably just as her trainer just need to take her on a few bar crawls and that should be it. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I felt cause of commotion for sure. That's perfect. Well, thanks for calling in and sharing this tale that first one first Canadian mom bar fight story we've had on the bellied up podcast. So we appreciate you. I know. I listen. I listen to all of them. I had to make sure I wasn't the first or I wasn't the first. Yeah. I think it's going to be a while before we hear another one of these. I think so.

I think so. Yeah. You're a, you're a unique one. My guy. We appreciate it. All right. So I do have a, you guys, it's not the shark tank. It's the wall. I pawned a free guy. Yeah. Yeah. Musky tank. I'd kind of like the wall. I wouldn't be wall eyes in a pod. Okay. Well, I got a, a two ideas for the, the must be 10. I can't wait based off of the story you just told. Yes. Oh, I don't know if I'll be able to talk that, but I've always wanted a, a high vis shirt and a daughter's line on top. And then underneath it says hired from the neck down. So then anytime your boss is like, Hey, you must stop. You can just point at your shirt.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. I need this. It wasn't hired for his brains as I think is what he's saying. Is that correct? Yeah, that's right. I'm just tired from, from the neck down. Meaning hired to think, Oh, hired from the neck down. I got it. Oh, that's good. That's a solid one that could go. What's your, what's your name? My second one there. So you guys like tailgating and playing the big Jenga giant Jenga. That's right. So I was thinking as you pull a block out, each box got a rule on it. So like one rule you guys could do for the Midwest is like, I know miles there, like the pants off dance off. So that could be a rule or drink two beers. You know what I mean? Every,

every time you pick up one and you got to do something. I like that. That is a great idea. And I hate to tell you this, I've actually on Halloween last year, while you and your mom were getting in that bar fight, I was at a party and they had giant Jenga with rules written on it. So that's a great idea. But that also means it was a good idea. Someone already did it, but they haven't done it in Canada yet. So I just do it in Canadian language. Steal some cedar, steal some cedar and just exactly. Yeah. Write it in Canadian. That'll be perfect. I like that shirt though. Hey, put that on a shirt, Charlie, put that on

a shirt and sell it. Yeah. Miles has a printing for the engagement ring. That's it. And you know what miles we should make those shirts. We should, and it could be as engagement ring fund. Yeah. Okay. It's not a bad idea. Uh, yeah. Jared, you got his number. Well, let's, let's do it. Let's do it. My girlfriend's number. Yeah. We'll get your girlfriend's number. It's kind of weird that we now have your girlfriend's number, but you know what? So we can't, how are we, how are we sending up a smoke signal and then, yeah, perfect. Oh, we got to attach a bit need a small understand that we'll text your girlfriend a code word. What should be the code word? Cause we don't want her to know that he's

trying to raise money for an engagement ring. Oh, there's mom through a haymaker. We can say we're making hay. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. I don't know how much money we're going to get you for this, but all the proceeds on these shirts will go to your engagement ring. Fun. My team is going to hate me for this. I hope, I hope she likes cubic zirconium because this sucker is gonna, we might sell a hundred. So guys, if you, if you are listening or gals and you want to help him get an engagement ring, go to, Oh, you bet you.com. Oh, H H you bet you.com and buy yourself a t-shirt. What was on the shirt again? It's a hired from the neck down hired from the neck down. Hired from the neck down high vis shirts,

all the proceeds, all of the after costs, all that money is going to go directly to them. Carter's fiance's ring fund Help Carter get engaged by this shirt now. So when we text you, Hey, making, Hey, that she's going to be like, what the heck you then need to call us or text us back from that number and it'll be all good. Oh, absolutely. All right. All right. Before you guys let me go, can I do a, a, would you rather for each year? Sure. I'm scared, but yeah, this one's for this one's for miles. Would you rather, if you could travel back in time, would you rather be the best D one football quarterback, but not drafted or would you rather win every card

and board game against the people you love? What was the second one? What'd you say? Would you rather be V1 football quarterback, but not drafted or win every single board game and card game against all your loved ones? God, that is actually a really good one. Cause one, one glory only lasts for four years. The other one lasts a lifetime and you never make it to the pros. So you don't really, you probably have a lot of, a lot of, if you never got drafted, never went to the deal. Yeah. Then you're just a regret. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm taking, winning

every board game and card game against everyone winning. I'll take that one. Does that last a lifetime? Okay. And Charlie, would you rather catch the biggest fish or see the rarest bird? But you're by yourself and the fish was so nice. You let it go and you don't have a picture of either one of them. Oh, okay. Oh, no. So this is just for you. You know, you're not just for me. You're not using it to flex on anyone because you don't have photos of either. You have no proof just for you.

I'm going I'm going with the fish. I got it. I am. I mean, that fight, it's the fight that gets you. Yeah well I was gonna say cuz like no one's gonna believe you that you caught a certain fish But some of them believe you if you saw an exotic bird kind of but one time I saw a Wolverine and You did it. Yeah, I did. No, I don't believe you. Do you have any proof? No, but that's the exact.

See, yeah. So yes, at least I'm going to get the fight out of it. Okay. Yeah. Great. Great questions. Those are great questions. Very thoughtful Carter. We appreciate that. All right. Well, keep the styles going, but all right, my guy, watch for deer out there and can't wait to hear it. Can't wait to talk to you again on your mp3 player Yeah, that's gonna be nice. We'll look for your mom at the UFC Now we're doing a Midwest goodbye day on top of his Canada. Goodbye. Well, I suppose I suppose it's about that time Carter All right. Have a good day guys. Watch out for moose Carter. All right. Have a good day, guys.

Watch out for moose. All right. Bye bye. Wow. I mean, that was just that was. And have that on my bingo card, Charlie. That was the everlasting gobstopper of a caller right there. It's like Ed Edd and Eddie Jawbreaker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Great guy, though. Yeah. Well, I like that sketch idea too. It is a good sketch idea and we're going to help that guy get an engagement ring.

That's exciting. I think that shirt's good. Yeah. I think I hired from the neck down. Yeah. You got a lot of high vision guys. Come on. It's only 25 bucks. It goes into his engagement ring fund and How often do you get to help a Canadian get married I? I'm gonna be honest. There's not been a scenario so far in my life that I've been had that opportunity me either But I tell you this right now. I'm buying a shirt and you should too. Guys wrap up your summer with tippy cows chocolate shake. It's like that rich indulgent treat you'd savor after a day of lake fun in North Dakota or Wisconsin. Whether you're enjoying a relaxing day by the lake or hanging out by bonfire,

tippy cows, chocolate shake adds a nostalgic touch to your summer. What's more nostalgic than having a chocolate milkshake, Charlie? What's more in a stop? Your touch is more nostalgic than no, that was a rhetorical question. Sorry, that was rhetorical. If you've had a fun beach memory that turned into a great story, typical is the perfect way to cap off your summer. You know, Charlie, there's nothing better than having a tippy cow and just talking about the good old days. So, Hey, you can pour it in your coffee too. It's like a fun cream. Yeah. It's the old fun cream in your coffee. Absolutely. So here's a toast for

you. Toast toast with your tippy cow, tippy cow and my coffee. So, so here's a toast for you. A toast toast. With your tippy cow. I had tippy cow in my coffee. So here's a toast Charlie. Here's to the end of summer, lake days, rich chocolate shakes and those bonfire tales that keep us laughing. May your sunsets be as sweet as your treats. Cheers to summer that never gets old. Charlie.

Amen. Miles. Cheers. I'll tell you what, summer, it's the perfect time for tackling those home improvement projects, Miles. Yes, it is. But sometimes things don't go quite as planned. Been there, done that.

If you end up with a ladder tumble tumble or a tool mishap, Nikolai law is here to help their experts in personal injury cases can guide you through the legal side of things to get you back on your feet. Stay safe while you're fixing up your place. And remember, if things go awry, Nicolay law is your guy. Is your guy. What was it? Is a call away. What? It's sort of a misdirect rhyme.

Anyways, call Nicolay Law, 1-855-NICOLAY. Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who are we chit chatting with today? Lauren. Hi Lauren. How are you doing? I'm good, how are you guys? Good.

Where are you calling in from? Minneapolis. Oh, Minneapolis, we're in Minnesota right now. So why don't you belly up to the bar with us though and tell us what's on your mind. Well, I was mostly calling to give an update. My boyfriend Mitch had called her in an episode like 77, I think.

Oh yeah. About wanting to hang mounts in the new house. Yes, yeah. How did that go? We're gonna hear the other side of the coin here, Charlie. Remind our callers what Mitch was calling in about the last time with respect to these mounts in your relationship.

Yes, so I am an interior designer. Oh yeah. And Mitch and I were about to move in together and he has a big like half bear mount, a turkey mount and two fish mounts that he had very prominently placed in his house. And when we were going to move in together, we were not sure where those were going to live. And what was the advice that Charlie and I gave him? I believe it was, um, have a man cave somewhere in the house, like the basement or the garage, which I'm not

a huge fan of the concept of a man cave. Okay. Well we'll get into that. Okay. So now present day, what is the current situation now? How did it turn out for our guy? Yeah. I mean, I think he did pretty well. I'll think considered. I was reading all the comments on like his episode and everyone was like, ditch her. She sounds like a headache. Do not read the comments. That's a mistake. It's nothing good comes from reading. I know. I was like, geez, you've got it tough, it sounds like, but we have like three living areas in the new house. Ooh, spending.

And one of them we made, one of them we made into a study. So like super dark walls and we have leather sofas. That's where he keeps like all his bourbon and then his bear mount and his turkey mount are in that room. So in other words, it's not a study. It's a man cave. It's a man's study. It's a muddy.

It's a muddy. It's a man cave study. It's a tasteful man cave. What do you have against man caves? You said you had a problem with what's as an interior designer. What's so wrong with man caves? I think my issue with them is always that I feel like women try to make the house a home and very welcoming. And then I don't know, it feels

rude to like have a room that you just have to slap a giant TV on the wall and a reclining sofa because your significant other made the house too nice. Now, now Charlie, I want you to answer this question for me. Okay. Do you feel more welcomed into a room with a bunch of deer mounts, turkey mounts, all the fish mounts, card table, neon beer signs a beer fridge. You feel more welcome in that place or do you feel more welcome in a whitewash millennial Joanna Gaines living room? Well, Miles, I feel more comfortable in the couch that is very uncomfortable, but looks really pretty. I feel like you're-

Tell the truth. No, Miles, I feel like you're- Which one do you feel more welcome in? I feel like you're assuming that Lauren- Do you feel more welcome into a living room that has a random vintage pane of glass sitting in the corner to give that modern farmhouse feel or do you feel more comfortable in a basement with paneled walls? My comfort.

Tell me the truth. My comfort is in the panel room deal miles. Yes. But what I'm thinking with Lauren, I'm hearing what she's saying. I'm I'm keeping an open mind here. And I think what Lauren is saying is that as an interior designer, she's not just trying to make sort of a whitewash room situation. She's trying to integrate two lives into one home. By shoving one of the lives into one room in the back of the house.

And calling it a study. No, actually, the study is my favorite room in the house. The study is your favorite. Because you feel so welcome in there. Is it the bear? Well, we both love speakeasiesies and that was where our first date was. And so we knew we wanted a room in the house that was kind of like a speakeasy vibe.

So we actually both really wanted a room like this and it just happened to be the perfect spot for his mouth. So it was kind of a win-win. I like that, Warren. I like that. That's what marriage is about. It's about compromise, you know? And that's what you guys did.

Now I can't help, but, but, but do the math here. And I feel like we're missing a Mount somewhere. And actually, as I say this, I see deer off in the distance at this bar. There's a little, yeah, look at that. Where there's one, there's more. There's one, there's more Lauren. What happened to that deer mount? How is it our dining room? It's just it's just the antlers. It's nothing else and it's in my dining room Did you paint them white? No, they're normal. Okay. Wow, is it a European mount? You know what Lauren? I'm gonna issue an apology on behalf of the bellied up commenter

commenters. You really found a way to integrate all these dead animals and bring new life to them in your home with your husband. You see what I did there? You see, be honest, did our comment section bully you a little bit into compromising. If you had never read the comments, would you have been as lenient and about the mounts? Honestly? Yes. I've always been leaning in about the bounce. I know they're not my favorite. They would never be what I would choose for my own house, but I know how much they mean to him. So you're saying that he was being a little dramatic when he called in the first time about you not wanting them?

Probably, but I also was way more against them when we first started dating than I was like the longer we dated. So you might say that those animals, though dead, grew on you. Yeah. Wow. They brought us together. I did. Can I ask you one side? Bar question was the fact that he called into this podcast to discuss this issue.

Was that a was your knowledge of that met with any sort of was there a fight? No, there was no fight. I knew he wanted to call in. There were a few things he said where I was like, OK, that doesn't even sound completely true. And I feel like you threw me under the bus a little bit. Well, set the record straight.

I know. And I can't I haven't listened to that episode in a while, so I'm probably not Okay, very Burst in it. All right. Well talk some shit about him. We're good. The the tables open. What do you what do you want? He won't hear this Yeah, this is a right he's not the reason I started listening to this podcast or anything no, no he's over it What you let's see. No, actually I need your guys' advice. So it's his birthday coming up in like two weeks.

Okay. And my like dream gift for him is Packers tickets. Oh, Charlie knows a guy. I know a guy. know they're a little, they're a little more than I was planning on spending. So I was trying to think of something that would be like, nothing's going to be as fun as the Packer game, but what would be a good like alternative gift if we can't get the ticket. Oh, you got one end of a bear mount

Get the other end of a bear mount make it a coffee table, you know, you got the ass right there You know, yeah, that'd be cool. I first of all, you can't get a better gift than the Packers I know you know a guy. I know a guy All right, all right, what game do you want to go to? Well, I'm from Minnesota, so probably a Viking Packer game. Yeah. And you probably have converted me completely. Oh, wow.

So you're full on Packers fan. I'm a full on Packers fan. Oh my gosh. All right. So what day are they playing the Vikings this year? I want to say December 29th, I think is when they're in Lambeau, which would be his ideal because he thinks watching football inside of a stadium isn't really watching football. God, he is. He wants to be in an open air. Let me tell you, I can see why you, you married this guy.

Cause I mean, I kind of got a crush. You got a good one on your hands. Um, I do. He's, he's crazy. Right. If you can hear Charlie's hesitancy to promise anything about getting Packers tickets is hilarious, but I've already on this podcast Committed to doing fucking shirts for a guy's engagement ring. So you Lawrence number we'll get you two Packers tickets to the Packers Vikings game I'm gonna call my buddy Leroy Butler and see if he can hook that up And if not, I will buy them myself. Yes. You will get it.

But now you have to go freeze your ass off at Lambeau in January or in December. And that's such- I know. That's just something you're gonna have to deal with, Lauren, all right? I know, I know. I was gonna get the ones when they're in Minnesota

because it would be warmer, but I don't know which ones he would prefer. I know. know, I was going to get the ones when they're in Minnesota, cause it would be warmer, but I don't know which ones he would prefer. Cause he also has rain odds, which is when your hands get super cold. So I don't know if December is his best friend. Well, you know what? We'll text you. Can we, we'll text you in the next week or so. And we'll see you talk to him and you guys figure out the game. And worst case.

Birthday present. Well, okay, okay. Well, here's another option. He's gonna go to a game regardless of what happens. Here's another option. I got a show. He'll cancel any other play on to see the Packers. Okay, well, if it's a Packers, yes.

Otherwise I got a show coming up in your neck of the woods, Shakopee. That sound familiar? Canterbury Park? You know where that is? Yeah. Yeah, we went and saw you in Duluth this last fall. Oh, damn it.

All right, you know all the jokes. I was gonna say, you had a new show yet? Yeah, somewhat different. Doesn't have a new lineup. All right, we'll get you the Packers tickets, all right? How's that sound? Fab lineup. All right, we'll get you the Packers tickets. All right. How's that sound? Fabulous.

All right, Lauren. Well, you know what? We appreciate you keeping that bear mount, that turkey mount, those antlers integrated into your home. And it's the least we can do. Thanks, guys. You betcha. I appreciate it.

I did my best. Hey, you did a great job Lauren and Tell your hubby we says hi and Yeah, we'll see you guys at the Packers game Sounds good. All right watch for deer now. All right, ah All in a good day's work You know, it's fine. I can find some tickets. I know some people.

You will, I know you. They might be sitting in my tickets, but you know. You know, folks, that's what we do here for all of you on the Bellied Up podcast. We go the extra mile. But I am out of Packers tickets, so nobody else can call and request anymore for this season. So for this season, I won't bring it up. You are out of pack.

I'm out of pack and you are out of high vis shirts. Well, I don't know. I think that'll be interesting. I think we can get you know me. I am not above releasing a new shirt. No, God, no, you're not. It's my rocks off releasing shirts. So that one I will, I'll keep with. Yeah. All right, folks. Will this be another episode of the bellied up podcast?

Make sure you tip your bartender and we'll see you in the next one. Guys. Love you.