Bellied Up - Bars Are Just Churches #95

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

In this episode, we're getting into whether Myles is a bad dad or a good dad. Our first caller hits us with some Polka Music wisdom. Next caller is from from Baton Rouge wondering what makes a hardware store awesome. Last caller thinks New Hampshire should be in the Midwest. We also dive into what makes small towns tick. Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Myles' other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Betcha Radio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Charlie's other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cripescast

Welcome back, folks, to another episode of the Bellied Up podcast. I'm here with Charlie Barron's. We are here at Ted's Bar in St. Louis again. We're St. Louis, my guys. St. St. St. Paul, St. Paul, my. I might have had a concussion since the last episode, Charlie, but we're back, folks. And Charlie, I'm going to hop right into it.

I got a question for you. OK. The question is, does this make me a bad father? Oh, bad daddy. I like it. Cause that's coming up folks. If you're just sticking in, checking out an episode, you didn't know miles is pregnant and I'm not pregnant. My wife is pregnant. I just said that facetiously, but I actually don't know if people get that serious or not about that sort of stuff Like when you say we're pregnant not just you're pregnant. I'm like, dude, you're not doing shit, right? Okay, I never bought into it, but I don't know and that right there is not gonna make me look better here No, all right. So what'd you do bad daddy?

Oh, I'm doing June which is as you know peak golf season ah and so I asked and if on my paternity leave, if it's okay, if I sneak out and golf a little bit, does that make me a bad father? First of all, your paternity leave from the company you own. Yeah. We got a policy. Yeah. What's a policy gets two weeks off after a kid's born. That's it. Just two weeks. Yeah. That's pretty good. Actually, from what I understand is it right now it's like you get like six weeks off and you get to choose the time and, and it can

happen within six months of having the baby or something. I think it's actually six months you get off for who I Just all companies these days. It's new regulations. We give three months maternity leave. Three months maternity, two weeks paternity. Yep. Ah, that's probably good. Honestly, I was just making all that up.

So listen. So does it make me a bad father? A bad dad that you wanna take some of your time off to spend with your kid and to go golf. Miles, I think you framed that question up the wrong way. Hey, we'll see ya. First of all, you shouldn't have even asked. All you gotta do is you get one of them swaddling deals

and then you're out there swaying. Well that was, so it didn't go over too hot when I asked it. What did she say? She was kinda like, really? You know, I was kinda the first. And then I was like, well, you guys could just come with. Yeah. Didn't love that either.

Miles. You just gotta drill a car seat to your golf bag and then you can walk with, you can do a walking style deal and it's basically you're taking your kid on walk Yeah, well they make your golf club They make us like a stroller now that has a compartment underneath where the kids sits yeah, put all your clubs Bang dude, I'm good. Do you have one no I but I gotta get one. I'm gonna get one for your For your deal. I'll get one for you. And then, yeah, problem is I don't love walking. Well, of course. But, but miles that side cart though, I'm Oh, a side, that would

be great. Little side car for your golf cart or golf seat for the golf cart or a baby seat for the golf cart. Yeah. So then I kind of negotiated. She actually, at first she thought I was joking. Then she could tell it was a genuine question from me. Then she said, I think she's, I think she agreed upon one, one golf session per week. Okay. Which is a starting point. And I can always wiggle from there, you know? Yeah. I think, um, are you trying to golf with other people or are you just trying to get out, do an early morning? Just, yeah, just, you know, kid goes down for a nap. Let me sneak out for nine holes. I mean, yeah, that's kind of a long nap, but nine holes, I can done an hour and a half. Can you? Yeah. Oh, that's pretty good.

Um, so the question is, Charlie, does this make, does that make me a bad father? No, I just think you screwed up in how you asked it. How should I have asked it? You shouldn't have asked at all. You should have said, yeah, me and the little guy, we're going to go for a walk and then just go for a walk with the little guy on the golf course. Yeah. You know, technically, I mean, and that's a good point.

I should have framed it in that I want, I just want to do stuff with my little guy and I can't wait. Yeah, you can't wait. I'm absolutely chomping at the bit to teach them new skills. Now that here, here do I do see a problem. If he's out there and he gets hungry, your nipples don't do that. And so you might need a bottle of some sort.

But then there's the question of bottle feeding or breastfeeding and I don't know which way you're going. Bevcart girl's gotta be able to warm it up for me. Hey, you got some milk in there? You know? Yeah, I think that might be frowned upon to ask the Bevcart girl if she's got some breast milk for you. I think that might be frowned upon to ask some breast milk for you. I think I bring the breast milk and she heats it up for me.

Correct. Correct. I can't even get mad at you because I really set myself up on that one. The problem is Charlie, there's some guys out there who probably have asked that. I've never old guys and Bev car girls, they are so disrespectful. I know they don't mix. Well, I was a caddy for a while. I saw that in in real time, man, in real time. Well, can I ask you this? Have you ever seen a guy out on the golf course or the baby?

Is that something that people do? Yeah. Yeah. But usually they're like at least a year old. OK. You know, bringing a newborn to the golf course, I think it's pretty frowned upon. Yeah. Plus, you got to have the sun shield on them, right? Because isn't sun really a big issue for babies these days? You know, I feel like new parents have all these other things that our parents weren't really thinking of. That's an old guy thing.

Now, I think what's going to happen, Charlie, yeah, is and I think there's probably some dads out there would say this, that I say this now before the kids born. But then once the kids born, you're not going to want to leave anyways. I think what's going to happen. Well, I said myself up being like, you know what? I love our child so much and I want to hear to be here to support you. I know I had negotiated one golf session a week. I don't need it. I want to be here to support you. I know I had negotiated one golf session a week. I don't need it.

I want to be here to support you. It's great, Little Ridge. No, yeah, I feel like you did this intentionally now. No, I didn't, but it's kind of turning out to be a good scenario for me here. Why don't you just make a little nine par three in your backyard? I could, a little chipping area.

Yeah, that could be fun. You get a zero turnout. That could get you out on the lawnmower, you know? And then just put some AstroTurf on your back deck. You know, you got a little thing going on there. That could be nice. It'd be bad if I sculled one into a house, though. That's true, that's true.

But you know, they shouldn't have built their house by your golf course. So Charlie, does this make me a bad dad? No, Miles, you're not a bad dad. You're not a bad dad. Not a bad dad, folks. Not a bad dad, yeah. All right.

Let's take some callers. Hello, welcome to the bellied up podcast. This is Charlie. Who's on the horn right now? Hey Charlie. My name is Greg. I'm from a new glare. Oh, Greg from new glare.

As miles knows all about new glare is a long time ago. Miles made a video comparing Bush like to a spotted cow and yeah, they're huge fans of me over at a new glare. S they love it. Yeah. We've, uh, we've seen that video for sure. What'd you think of it? Uh, well, not my favorite, not my favorite. You know, you're all entitled to your own opinion, but, uh, but I'm a little biased, I guess, just like you probably are, too. Yeah, I guess that was the first video of mine that ever got any traction. And ever since then, I've been trying to repair my relationship with Wisconsin. So so we became well, we're always happy to have you back here and share in a spotted cow.

Or I don't think that's the case. I was I was told very sternly that that was not okay. So we'll leave it at that. But why don't you tell us what's on your mind? Yeah. Well, you know, I called in because I feel like you two who are basically the most popular widespread ambassadors for Midwestern culture have been overlooking, possibly ignoring a very large facet of Midwestern culture, which is of course the state dance of Wisconsin, polka. You know what, you're right about this.

Honestly, you're a thousand percent right. I wouldn't say I've overlooked it completely in that, you know, we always do roll out the barrel, beer barrel polka at the Packers games. And I've done a video with that before, but me and miles collectively, especially on this podcast, we've neglected the poke. We've neglected. We'll throw our hand up and say we did. We're doing wrong by the polka community. How can we repair this damage? Well, I'm glad you asked this year is the 30th anniversary of Wisconsin adopting polka as its official state dance. You did you know that that was the official state dance?

You know, I knew it was the official state dance. I thought this was the 29th year, but now, now that I've known for sure it's the 30th year. What day is it? Remind me of that again. Oh, I think it's April 24. Okay. So that's coming off the top of my head. It's almost here. Yeah.

It's coming up and, uh, it'd be great excuse to, you know, roll out the barrel and expose this, uh, beautiful, uh, musical form to the, uh, wider world. It is a beautiful musical form. How are you celebrating the polka day? Well I think there's something going down at the Capitol or downtown on the square in Madison and my friend is a polka DJ here in Wisconsin and she's definitely gonna have some some big events big plans so I'll be kind of following her lead. Can I ask do you play polka? Do you dance polka? What's your, when did you first get

introduced to it? Tell us your story. I got first introduced to polka as a little kid. Mom would take me to the linoleum floor in the kitchen to learn how to dance. And been a fan ever since, going down to the linoleum floor in the kitchen to learn how to, how to dance. And I've been a fan ever since, you know, going down to the Essen house in Madison to hear it on Friday nights once in a while, sharing a boot of beer and yeah, absolutely. And then here in New Glarus, you know, we have a lot of polka, a lot of classic polka bands from the area. So just something you kind of grow up with. Yeah, it really is. And it's sort of a staple of, you know, Wisconsin culture, fish boils,

fish fries, bars. I remember my first polka exposure, Charlie. What was that? Very vividly. What was it? So being a Catholic boy growing up. Yeah, you know when we go to the lake We would go to the Catholic Church on Sundays in the lakes area and we showed up one day and Found out that it was the polka mass. Oh You went to a polka man. Yep didn't know we walked in they started playing music and I tell you what, I don't know if we've ever sang louder in church. That accordion started going, I started getting a little duking and jiving gone and boy, were we praising the Lord that Sunday. I can imagine. Have you ever been to a polka mass? Yeah, I haven't been to a polka mass myself,

but I've heard that they're quite the experience. Yeah, I felt like I was in one of those cool hip churches that play like the pop music. It was, but better almost. I mean, now was there any- Way better, way better. Yeah. Yeah, now was there any way better? Way better? Yeah. Yeah. Now was there any dancing

miles going on? I must confess. I've never been to a polka mat as myself either. You kind of jealous? I'm honestly very jealous. Yeah. It was. Yeah. There was a, I mean, it's Catholic church, so you're not going to be, you know, doing the worm in the aisle, right? But there was a little bit more swaying, a little sway, a little head bobbin. And why not? You know, there's a lot of ways to worship God and, uh, polka. Every time you play polka, there's an angel that starts to tap their toes.

And I think that's what we all got to remember. I mean, polka is just a, yeah, polka is just like a happy music, man. You put on some polka and you can't help, but like tap your toe a little bit. You smile, you know, there's, there's a, there's just something about it. It's infectious, you know, especially you have yourself a fish fry on Friday night. You go back to your friend's place, uh, pour some old fashions, get a game of Euker, sheep's head going, put some poke on the record player. It's just a, it's just a good time. Good social music with friends

and it's a great way to, uh, you know, tap into a rich, uh, musical heritage here in Wisconsin. And I think Charlie, your next album should be a polka album. You've done the bluegrass already. But if you've done that, why don't you flavor in a little polka in there? You know, my brother does know the accordion a little bit, so I feel like that that should definitely happen. It should.

And I am a little embarrassed we haven't brought up polka on this podcast yet But you know what there's always time to do the right thing So it sounds like you're kind of an expert when it comes to polka Why don't you give us some tips and tricks if I want to get into polka dancing on a regular basis? What do I got to be looking out for? I? Mean you should be able to find polka nearby, wherever you are in the Midwest. It shouldn't be that far away, but what you're going to want to do is look for

your nearest VFW, maybe a church basement, you know, dance halls. Sunday afternoons tend to be popular with the older crowd, uh, but festivals, you know, bringing some of the younger folks like myself and, uh, and then you can just listen to it on the radio too. And as far as dancing goes, you know, there's fancy steps you can learn if you're really into it, but really it's just, if you can count it too and rock back and forth with a partner, that's pretty much the gist of it. Keep it simple and just have fun. Yeah, you kind of, how can people dance the polka?

I don't know if this is the easiest way to tell people, but you pretty much were doing it right there. So what kind of tips do you have for people who are looking to get into polka? Maybe they'll watch a YouTube video after this, get the steps down, but how would you describe the polka dance? The most basic version of it? Yeah, you gotta grab a partner, bring him in close, and then as the music's playing, you just follow the beat. One, two, one, two, jumping back and

forth between your two feet. That's, that's pretty much it. It's a pretty simple thing. It's a beautiful dance because you can do it while you're pretty drunk. So, um, is it kind of a happy situation when you're saying one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, or what? Yeah. No, I, I'd say that's a fair assessment for sure. And then you just kind of slowly spin in circles while you're doing it. Yeah. No, I'd say that's a fair assessment for sure. Yeah. And then you just kind of slowly spin in circles while you're doing it. Yeah. You can spin circles, rock back

and forth, whatever you want. You know, if you've, uh, you know, people at some of these festivals, it's, it's pretty free form. I'd say. Yeah. It's pretty free for it has to be in the, when it comes to combining the Midwest and dance, you know, you're, you're getting all realms. You get the professionals, you're getting the hammered people, the people who have never done it. It's a whole thing. Like you look at a, a wedding and then you'll see it right there too. Um, you got a favorite polka song you like to throw on the, the ox. Oh man, there's, there's so many great polkas about the city of Milwaukee

and specifically drinking in Milwaukee. Um, for example, the Milwaukee polka, uh, you know, there's, there's just a really a lot of fun music out there. And you know, I'd all, I'd like to plug my friend DJ shots key who has a poker show every Sunday evening. She always plays a lot of good favorites. Well, shout out to DJ Schatzky. And, uh, you know, we are big fans on the belly to podcast of DJ Schatzky and all the way right home from St. Paul here back to Fargo. I'm going to just blast DJ Schatzky and see if Ann divorces me by the end or not. You know, Ann... That's a true test of love.

I think Ann is going to fall in love with it by the time you get just outside of the greater Twin Cities area. We're filming in the Twin Cities right now. Ann is Miles's wife, if you're not up to date on that. Oh sure. Oh sure, yeah. Now how old are you, let me ask? I'm 36. You're 36, okay.

So, you know, polka is one of those things that does favor itself toward the older generation. How do you think we're gonna get these new young bucks into the polka? Do you think we're going to need some polka DM like EDM with polka? Do you think they're going to need to combine it with a new music in order to bring it into popular culture or is the thing about polka that it always stays the same? I think, uh, I think it's a two prong approach, Charlie.

You know, you got some bands that are kind of going, like you said, the the fusion route. You know, there's a band called the Polka Holics, which is basically like a punk band playing polkas on guitar. And, you know, switch it up, play with like a dance beat. Sure, why not, but then again, you know, you and miles can be out there as polka evangelists talking about the beautiful history and rich culture of, of, uh, the Midwest and how polka plays a part in that. We just were poking when you were teaching us to dance miles grabbed me by the hip and he brought me in close, you know, I thought Anne was going to get jealous. So we're already there. I think it's going to take one gigantic artist to do a polka album.

Then it's going to go to the moon. Taylor Swift or Beyonce. You know what? Beyonce just did a great country album. Maybe Beyonce's next move is, is polka. That's all it takes. Maybe Taylor Swift could maybe Taylor Swift. I mean, is Kansas City part of the Midwest? That's a question to ask. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if she's gonna be a Midwestern or now, maybe she could get in the polka scene too.

You know what? Just the way you called us, I think your next phone call's to T. Swizzle. And you are the one really doing it. You're doing the Lord's work here. And we applaud you for it. Yeah, well, you know, I'm always one to spread the word and, you know, it's not just an old man's game.

You know, poker can be fun and good exercise and good social lubricant, just like a good beer is. We're all looking for that social lube. That's what we're all looking for. Just some to cut through the awkwardness when you're walking into a bar or a thing. We're all just trying to be in the deal. And if you can dance, if you can polka.

And no better way to cut through the awkwardness than to cut a rug. I Like that play on words there miles I like that and that's true that is true It's life advice for all of you out there. So thanks for calling in man. Yeah, right I think I think you called us out on our bullshit. We haven't been talking about polka music enough No one more time. Shout out to DJ Schatzky been talking about polka music enough. Nope. One more time. Shout out to DJ Shatsky. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, thanks for taking the call and hopefully you guys can, uh, spread the word a little bit, play a couple of tunes and, uh, get on the

dance floor every now and then. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Well, thank you. And what watch for deer and, uh, keep your, uh, you know, keep your legs bendy. All right. Keep stretching before you pull it. Well, well, I, yeah, I suppose. So I better be getting going. Yeah. Well, watch for deer out there and tell your folks. We says hi. All right. You too. All right. See you now. Charlie. Oh, I feel like let's say we were to put poke on in this bar right now. Yeah, there would probably be a lot of people being like, who the hell is playing

this? But all it takes is for one person to own it to get everyone else on board. Right. If you and I got up and started jiving to the poker music, yeah, changes the whole vibe in the room where they're like, oh, those guys are having fun. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe it's not such an old art. Right. And I think that's what people like you put polka on. People put themselves in them like you got to kind of be in the mood for it.

You know, it's sort of got this festival vibe. It's got, you know, kind of old timey, but it's got a lot of similar, it's really the accordion, you know, and the boom, the kind of boom, boom, boom, boom. You know, when you combine those two things, the thing is there's a lot of traditional Mexican music that has similar, a lot of similarities to polka, and that is starting to come into the mainstream.

Do I traditional Mexican music? So I do wonder if there's any hope for polka to do right around the bend. You know, just just around the bed. That's it. There you go. Miles. We'll get you a bass guitar and maybe you play in a polka band. Or a horn. Sweet, that kind of, huh? Mm-hmm. Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who we got on the horn today?

This is Randy. Hi, Randy, how you doing? Where you calling in from? I'm calling in from Austin, Texas. Austin, Texas. How long you lived there? Just a couple years now, a year and a half, something like that. So you're a transplant, where'd you transplant from?

The Baton Rouge area, Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Okay, well cool, we got a little backstory, bit of the origin story. What's the capital of Louisiana, Charlie? The capital of Louisiana, cool. We got a little backstory, bit of the origin story. What's the capital of Louisiana, Charlie? The capital of Louisiana, please. Of course I know Baton Rouge. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's not Baton Rogue. Baton Rogue. It's a beautiful spot, Miles. It is a beautiful spot. Now, Randy, what brought you all the way over to Austin, Texas? A couple different things. Just looking for a little bit of a, uh, I don't know, staying in the same career,

but looking for a new job and the girlfriend was looking for a place to go. And this is where we ended up. New beginnings. Good deal. So belly on up to this bar and tell us what's on your mind, Randy. Well, I was hoping I could, know, I'm a an early listener I'm just getting in up and you know We're 10 or 15 episodes in and enjoying everything that you put out so far and you'll have this this sponsor this this sweet farm Yeah, and and and I'm from the south. I don't I don't have one of those

So I was a little curious if you could help me get the vibe of it, where I could go to get the fleet from experience down here. Yeah. So I think the broader question here is because Fleet Farm is something up here in the Midwest and it's basically kind of a man mall situation where you have a bunch of really anything, but it's a heavy focus on tools, lumber, outdoors, fishing, hardware stores, maybe a bad way to put it. You know, that's why we call it the man mall.

It's it's hardware, hardware, but that's just a small portion of the whole thing. Yeah. So, Charlie, yeah, I guess. Let's educate them a little bit here. OK. What makes a great hardware store? Oh, yeah. What makes it? I think the first thing that makes a good hardware store is you've got to have you kind of have things in stock. I hate walking into a spot for the one thing I need and it's not there. So I end up leaving with a thousand other things. I don need it all and on top of that I got to go to another place

You know, so I love it when it's in stock and we all know fleet farms got that stuff in stock. So that's nice Miles What's the thing that you need in a hardware store? My guy need you know me Charlie I know you it's almost look like a grocery store as well. We got to have some snacks on snacks on snacks on snacks because yeah, you're going for some screws. You're going for some lumber, but what you're really going for is an experience and that experience is eating snacks. Can I also say on top of that, and Randy, I wanna get your thoughts after I say this thing that I need,

but what I wanna see at every hardware store I go into is the key guy. I want there to be a physical person making my key. I understand they got robots that do it now, okay, but there's nothing bad, I mean, imagine the trust that a community has to put in the key guy. You know, like for me to hand them the key and say, now I know that says do not duplicate,

but this one you can duplicate, just trust me, okay? And he looks right back at me and says, yeah, that'll be fine. You know, you can't just, you have to know the key guy to have that relationship with him. And you also gotta make sure, if you're doing, pulling that move, you have to know the key guy to have that relationship. You also got to make sure if you're doing, pulling that move, you got to make sure the key guy has been beaten down by life a little bit. Oh yeah. He's a new key guy and he's eager. He's going to be a rule follower. He's not going to want to duplicate that. You're

going to want to make sure that the guy who's working that day has clearly been beaten down and he's going to sniff you out. I mean, he might literally give you a sniff, you know, before he decides, but he'll make the right decision at the end of the day if he's an actual key guy. You can't do that with a remote. Yeah, you can't do that with an AI robot making your keys. Ugh.

Anyways, Randy, what do you think makes a good hardware store? So I've always, I've been to a couple places that have the key guy and I 100% agree, you need to have that key guy because that's just a requirement. Who else can you trust to make your keys? But I'm curious, I think you need to have that guy who just knows everything, right? They're like, did you have the front register guy that you're like, Hey, I need

this like working on this project. And then they always yelled at the back for, you know, Hey James, like what's, you know, we got this, you know what to do. Right. And then, you know, guy in the back is like, Oh yeah, they need this. Yeah. And he usually keeps, he comes limping up to the front for whatever reason. The guy who knows everything's got a limp always got a limp. He's just, you know, I don't know if he got what happened, but you know, something fell on him from the shelves up there. Yeah. Or, you know, he served time in the service and he's got a little lingering injury. You know, those are the guys that you want in your hardware store. You know, everything about it. He's got a story about him and he's definitely missing little lingering injury, you know, those are the guys that you want in your hardware store, you know, everything about it.

He's got a story about him. And he's definitely missing a finger. And sometimes it's the person who knows everything about the hardware store doesn't even work there. He's just a guy who spends his whole weekend there walking around and he knows the place like the back of his hand. He's a guy who's going to shake your hand, too. And then he's going to judge your hand for how soft it is.

You know, like if your hand is, is, is, uh, not softer than the guy who's you're shaking it at the hardware store, uh, you know, you might have the wrong guy, you know, cause that's a guy, all the moisturizer in the world and can take the calluses away. I think that you also need to have, obviously you need to have a good lumber yard. Right? Good wood. Yeah. You need to have good wood. But on top of that, you need employees who are working in the lumber yard to be kind of, uh, I don't want to say a bad ass, but kind of just don't really give a shit about the rules. Yeah. Yeah, there's there's not all they have fun. Let's say and that could lead to some, you know, some bad wood, shall we say some crooked wood, some crooked, crooked wood,

some splintered wood. But whenever you accidentally buy a piece of that, you got to say, yeah, they're having fun. Well, and I think that it's also the camaraderie that you're buying. You're not just buying wood. You're buying the camaraderie, the lumber yard guys who are driving around with forklifts, whistling at each other, running around, maybe razz and each other on the radio stuff like that. I think that the lumber yard guy needs to be cut from the same cloth as the tow truck guys. Oh yeah, gotta love it.

Kinda same mentality. You know, a tow truck guy, he takes crap all day long. You know, and so when it's time to screw around, he's kicking loose. That's very interesting, you brought up the tow truck guys in there, Miles, I like it. Randy, has this been helpful for you at all, or have you just been over there, uh, chilling?

Oh, it's been a little helpful. I'll need to make sure to keep my eyes out around like I'm, I'm just have a home depot down the road, but that's just not the same experience. No, you know, you're not going to have a beaten down key guy. You're not going to a beaten down key guy. You're not gonna have the degenerate lumber yard comradery guys. You're just not gonna have that.

Yeah. You're not gonna have a guy walking around with a limp. You're gonna have some millennial walking around with an apron on, you know? Yeah. We gotta get Home Depot on board with bringing the key guys back. I wanna start a key guy union.

I wanna be the head of the key guy union. That's what I want. I wanna represent start a key guy union. I want to be the head of the key guy union. That's what I want. I want to represent all those key guys who are determining who gets into your house illegally. I want to protect those guys. They are a dying breed and it's too long we're letting these freaking machines take their jobs. Who's gonna stand up for a miles, if not us, then who?

I don't know. Yeah. Charlie Barons with the key to success. That's gonna be up for a miles, if not us, then who? I don't know. Charlie Bairns with the key to success. That's gonna be the slogan, right? I like it, I like it a lot. Yeah, and then think about the logo that we can have, like a Illuminati with a bunch of keys making the Illuminati sign. Freaking awesome.

You just have AI created for you. It's a turnkey solution. Oh, sick. Yeah, now that's a job for AI. Oh sick. Yeah, that's a that's now that's a job for AI Have them do this stuff. That's not important. You got this on lock Charlie Randy is there anything you want buy selling trade before we let you go guy? Not really I mean that there is a grill that's pretty much going to waste but I we don't have anywhere to go with it right now so I mean, there is a grill that's pretty much going to waste, but we don't have anywhere to go with it right now.

So don't have any prices on that. The girlfriend wants to move it. So I'll let her make that call if she needs to. She knows the number. She'll give you guys a call. Randy, I got one last question for you. You know this is a safe space, right? I do.

Is there anything you want to confess? We have a new bit called Midwest Confessional. Anything you want to get off your chest? They only know your first name and your location. You could be anyone could be any Randy from Baton Rouge. You moved to Austin. Anything you want to say? Who's got to? Yeah, I'm sure.

I'm sure there's a ton of those, but no, I'm good for now. I appreciate it though. You know, it's, I'll take the time to get stuff off my chest when I need to. Damn, Randy, I thought we had a, I thought we had a connection, you and I. I'll try with the next caller. That's all right. Well, thanks for calling in, Randy. We appreciate it.

And tell your girlfriend we say hi and you guys have her vacation up to the Midwest. We'll take you to a fleet farm, all right? Oh, well, I'll tell you what. My girlfriend is a Midwest gal. She is from the Sun Prairie, Wisconsin area. No kidding. We get up there every once in a while, yeah? We'll get up there and get to the fleet farm, my man.

Yeah, this is a recent discovery of mine. She didn't take a ton of trips to the Fleet Farm herself. So whenever we discovered the podcast and started listening, I was like, what is this magical place that they're discussing? And she's like, oh yeah, totally a thing. I was like, well, we could have gone last time we were up there, would have been nice to know.

Well, here's your sign. Yeah, this is your sign. We can't wait to see up here. My guy. It's gonna be fun. Thanks for calling in. Of course. Watch your dear now. You too. Now. Good guy. One thing I forgot, Charlie. Yeah, good hardware stores gotta have guns. Oh yeah, you gotta have guns and you gotta be like Can I actually buy that? North Dakota you just hand them your license they do a background dude, and you want waltz out of there

It's great out of there. I used to live in South Carolina and I was getting a gun for pig hunting like and I knew nothing I had not gone pig hunting before We were gonna go with knives and the gun was just in case things got up out of hand And let me tell you this if you're going pig hunting with knives and dogs It's already gotten out of hand And I should not have been able to walk out of there with a gun in 20 minutes, dude That's all it took south carolina crazy place. Um

And you know like I just i'm going to buy guns every time I go there. I like window shop. I think like, oh, yeah, that's a holy smokes. I you know what I like? I like also like window shop and holsters as well. Is that weird? No, I get it. It's like, oh, like I have a nine millimeter gun and I have a holster. Do you have a nine? Yeah, I got a holster. Do you have a nine? Yeah, I got a couple really. Yeah, do you get to the range?

Oh, not recently, but we have gone a few times in last year. You just have a nine for fun. Yeah, that's cool Yeah, yeah You actually think you're gonna protect your home with that thing. I mean, I probably shot. Are you? I mean, it depends on how close we are. We should we should go to the range one time. You and I. Yeah, we should. I'm not. Aim is never really my thing. So I have no business having a little pocket pistol, but I like to miss with my shotgun plenty again.

I got a recurve bow. What you need to do is get it. You need to get a, you need to get a judge that shoots a shotgun wads out of the, out of the handgun and you got a better chance of hitting. Oh yeah. Like a sawed off shotgun kind of a thing. No, this is like literally a handgun that I've seen that. I've seen that. Yeah.

I think that's how we go everywhere. No, really? I've never seen someone shoot. You can Yeah, I think that's illegal everywhere. No, really? I've never seen someone shoot. You can't. I don't know if you can hunt birds with it. No, shoot clay pigeons and stuff. I've never used one of those. Sounds fun.

They're pretty cool. A judge. Mm hmm. How am I out of the loop on that? I've I've seen it before. I've seen like fun shotguns, but it's like a bit. It looks like kind of a sawed off situation. No, it looks like a handgun. Oh, one of those.

Yeah. And it shoots like they just look like small shotgun shells. What kind of what kind of shell it goes in that? Four, 10, four, 10. Oh, yeah, that's not as well. You go go rabbit hunting with that. Well, should we take another call or just do it, Miles? Charlie. Yes, Miles. This weekend, we know we definitely didn't pre record this at all.

So we know exactly what's going on in March Madness. We know the exact final four. Your Badgers are in the final four. Go Badgers. And how are you going to celebrate that being in the final? Tip on back some tippy cow, because Wisconsin cows come to tippy cow. The cows just walk right over this thing, put their teat right there, zip, zip, zoom, put some booze in it, and then they close her up.

That's how they do it. That's how the sauce is made. That's how the sauce is made, ladies and gents. So when you are enjoying your favorite in the final four, make sure you're gonna be drinking, drinking a little bit of that Tippy Cow. Tip it on back. Tipping on back. Tippy cow. Cheers, Charlie.

Cheers, Miles. Go Badgers. Go, go. Sound like Inspector Gadget. Go, go Badgers. Hey folks, I gotta tell you, this episode is brought to you by the award-winning Nicolet Law,

the Midwest go-to for legal support founded by our buddy Russell Nikolai and staffed by the family. If life throws you a curveball, Russell's on your team and he'll coach you how to hit that curveball. Yep, Charlie got a curveball right to the top of the head. Top of the dome.

And garage door. I got an IBS from it too. After, uh, it's TBD traumatic brain damage. I forgot it was TBD. Uh, well, you gotta be feeling pretty comfortable at this spot. Cause you're in good hands. Russell's going to give me all the money I ever wanted for my IBS and TBD. If you think that Charlie isn't looking at this situation and viewing it as his retirement plan, you're wrong. Just seeing the money rain, baby, that's it.

And who do I have to thank? I got Russell to thank. So if you wanna get all that money from them insurance companies, them greedy bastards, give Russell a call. Welcome to the bellied up podcast. Who are we talking to? Hi, Tyler from Long Island, New York. Tyler from Long Island, New York.

Cool. What are you doing, Tyler? What are you banging, clanging around back there? What do you work now, what do you do I'm a delivery driver for UPS. We've got a couple of us on here already Yeah We've got to get a brand deal with you Get that calling in and we're also starting one if any of you you guys actually work You're always calling into this podcast. That's true If you ever see any of us though, we always have one air pod in so we're always to get somebody in the back

Yeah, you got it. You got to keep the mind occupied. What's the weirdest thing you've ever experienced as a UPS driver? My god, I absolutely love that question. Let's see. Oh, you know, the guy that you had call in the other week, he's always having people scream at him when he's parked on the side of the road. That's absolutely a true thing. People, they hate when you're parking at a big truck. They hate seeing it in front of their house and to their block or whatever.

You can't catch a break. Well, and maybe this is is just spitball in here. Maybe UPS could try making the trucks look a little cooler. I mean, don't don't take this wrong way. But I don't know if I want a big brown truck hanging out in front of my house. It'd be nice if you guys put like a mural on the side or paint it fun, bright colors, something like that. Yeah, that would be like the patented brown. I have nothing against it, but I'm just trying to spit ball here. Maybe the you guys get yelled at less. If I had like you had like puppies on the

side or something, who's going to yell at a truck with puppies? Oh yeah, there you go. Why? Why did they go with brown as the color too? Did they just like get a bunch of free paint and they're like, ah, mix it together, see what happens. I guess we're brown. Yeah, they probably went to the hardware store, the premixed section at the end for half off. They probably went with that. And that's somebody else that already designed the color.

Who knows? Well, belly on up to the bar with us. Tell us what's on your mind. Well, where are you guys at today? Oh, we're over at Ted's in St. Paul, Minnesota. It's a fantastic bar. Oh, Minnesota, yeah. They got all day, old style Pilsner 250, 11.05 ounces.

I'm just reading the signs. Well, I wish I could join you, but probably have to finish driving for the day first. Yeah, I suppose. I could get some help for that one, I suppose. I suppose. Well, yeah, I was I suppose I suppose I was wondering, cause you guys were posting and they were taking calls and it was like damn near 12 o'clock

I'm on the eastern time zone and I was like, boys are getting up there early Yeah, you know we are hard workers We'll be We're clocking in at the bar at 11 o'clock I was a little late I was 11.10 but I got hit in the noggin by a garage door That's another story

Charlie's even working at 11am when he's in cus. So yeah. So what's on your mind? There you go. Well, I was hoping to state my case. Oh, state your case. What state do you believe should be part of the Midwest? So my family's had a lake house up in the lakes region of New Hampshire for quite a

few years. And every time I venture up that way on vacation, I always think that the lakes region of New Hampshire could be a part of the Midwest. Okay. State your case then. Why do you believe New Hampshire should be part of the Midwest? Well, here on Long Island, things are pretty fast moving, you know, a lot of fast drivers, fast service and restaurants, that sort of thing. But when you head up to New Hampshire, everything moves a little slower, no, like store lines, waitresses, drivers, everybody's chit chatting with each other, seeing what's going on. You know, they take their time with everything, which seems like it would be very Midwest

treat, completely different from here where I live. That is very West. Yeah. To, to, to just, you know, when you're trying to get yourself a drink and you got to have a full conversation about someone's family who you've never met and never will meet before you get yourself a Miller light. Yeah. And if you think about it, Charlie, what I've noticed around here is if someone's walking too fast, you kind of go like, what's this hot shot up to today? Is he trying to get a workout in or did he just kill somebody?

Yeah. You know? Yeah. If you're too busy around here, you've probably just murdered someone. Yeah. We are suspicious of you if you're walking at a faster clip than a horse. If you're walking faster than a trot, we are suspicious about it. So so far, we're off to a good start.

What is the culture like in New Hampshire? Definitely a lot more friendly conversation there than here in New York. Like here. No, someone says, how you doing? It's just a greeting. Like, nobody really cares how you're in New York. Like here, no, someone says, how you doing? It's just a greeting. Like nobody really cares how you're actually doing. It's just like a hello. But up there when somebody says, how you doing?

Like if I were to say that as a greeting, like the person would be like, oh, well, actually not so great. It kind of launches into their own story. Whereas I was just trying to say hello. That's just like a greeting here. You know, I don't, I don't want to be rude, but I don't really care all that much

about how you're actually doing. Yeah, well, and no one ever does, but they throw it out there, and it's part of the tradition, you know? You just got to embrace it. Yeah. What do you guys do on the lakes up there? Well, there's definitely a lot of ice fishing, which I know is a big part of the Midwest.

All right. We've got a town that pointless conversations, pointless conversations and ice fishing. We are off to a good start. What do you like about the ice fishing up there? Personally, I've never been, you know, for us, it's only a vacation house. So we're only really there when the I've never been. You know for us it's only a vacation house so we're only really there when the weather's real nice. No we'll go up once in a while in the winter but uh yeah I haven't checked ice fishing off the bucket list yet. Now what's the bar scene like because that's a key ingredient of

this whole thing Charlie. Oh yeah yeah you just got to my next point here. Now there's a lot of small towns up there they're all kind of settled around the lake and then you'll have to go a good distance before you get to the next point here. Now there's a lot of small towns up there. They're all kind of settled around the lake and then you'll have to go a good distance before you get to the next one. And each town will have, you know, the classic stuff, a post office, a courthouse, a church, and then they'll have about six bars, which is a classic thing of the Midwest, I know. But in the winter time when all the residents go back to, you know, their warmer areas, they're only there in the summer. I don't know who is keeping these bars in business, but there's at least six of them in personal town.

So that just seems very Midwest to me. I'll tell you this, each bar has six prized patrons that keep that sucker afloat all winter long. Largely, they are the ice fishers, and they are coming in after a day on the ice and they're just they're doing the Lord's work of supporting the bar. They gotta warm up somehow, Charlie.

They do and they come they warm up externally and internally. Well, and that's a I mean, you brought up a great point of the bar to churches ratio has got to be good in a Midwest town. Sounds like New Hampshire has that. Do you think six to one is the prime bar to churches ratio has got to be good in a Midwest town sounds like New Hampshire has that do you think six to one? Is the prime bar to church ratio? That's great. Ain't it? Yeah, I think that I'm happy with that personally Now these six patrons they just rotating bars, they're just all day, you know They have their home bar it's kind of like No, anyhow, from one to the other. They have their home bar.

It's kind of like your church, right? You belong to, you're a parishioner at a church, but if someone's having a baptism at another church or a wedding, you'll go over there. So it's not saying you don't, but no, you're primarily supporting one, one, possibly two, sometimes. I see.

Yeah. Bar regulars are a lot like patrons at church. The offering plate is pull tabs and tipping the bartender. Communion is all the beers and cocktails that they're drinking. And when they're doing the sign of peace, that's when they're all catching up to see what they did since they saw each other the day before. Yes, exactly. And there's basically bars are just churches in the Midwest. They are. And you know, we're two are gathered in my name. And that's what Jesus said in the Bible. Doesn't matter if that's a

church or a bar. You know, my mom probably really disagrees with this, but she doesn't listen to my podcast, so it's all good. They're singing songs. Yeah, you sing songs, you play some polka, you got, you know, there's no organist, but there is a touch tunes, or if you're lucky, you got a jukebox. So-

And some bars we found out here at Ted's, they have a confessional, Charlie. I'm starting to think that bars are just churches, you know? And when you put it like that miles, it increases your time in purgatory, but that's okay because what is purgatory? If not just a big bar before you get to heaven, that's right. You know, it's a little pregame pregame. Exactly. Yes. The only thing on draft is, you know, uh, uh, what would it be? What would be on draft? Bushlight. Bushlight? You think Bushlight?

I mean, it's not hell. Yeah, that's, that's true. I mean, it's not like they're, yeah. Yeah, that is true. All right. Yeah. So small towns, they got to have, what is it? Seven churches, but some are in bar form and some are in traditional church Yeah, yeah And a lot of times bars are at churches. They'll do uh fundraisers

And they'll serve beer there because you know, I played a church fundraiser and the the priests were the bartenders so I played a church fundraiser and the priests were the bartenders. So multi service industry. Hey, to switch over. Yeah, they're gonna sound like they're one of the same. Kind of. Go ahead, go ahead. You know, I was just gonna ask for ice fishing. Do you ever see them driving their car out on the ice?

He's not there. They will do that. I know this year they've had a relatively warm winter and are they still in that this year, but if they're still driving their car out on the ice this year in this El Nino year where everything's hotter than hell, that would be a very Midwest move. I think we would need to know the amount of cars that go through the drink, but it sounds like there's a possibility of it.

There's usually one per winter, whether they went too early or too late. Yeah. No, when the ice is starting to get thin. Yeah. But yeah, you definitely see a lot of that. I know they fish for a lot of the same stuff in the lakes region. They got perch and pike trout. I know you got that over there.

Perch, pike. A lot of the same fish. Yeah. Yeah. It's you got that over there. Perch, pike. They all have the same fish. Yup, yup. It's sounding very Midwest to me. Anything else you think should be involved in this state, your case?

I want to read one more. There's a lot of Native American history in the lakes region. So a lot of the lakes and towns have very Native American names that like only the locals can pronounce. Yes. Like give me a couple. Like all of Wisconsin's big lake that we got that.

Yeah. Yeah. Wisconsin. I know it's big with that, but you got Winnipeg, Versace, Winnipeg, Ossipi, Sunope. Just very, you know, if you get somebody who's never been there before, they'll be pronouncing them wrong. And that's how you know they're out of town. Yeah. That is very, very true. That, if you get somebody who's never been there before, they'll be pronouncing them wrong. And that's how you know they're out of town. Yeah, that is very, very true. That your how did you say it again? Winniasakapi? Winniasakapi is the big lake up there. Winniasakapi.

That's like our Winnebago or our O'Conamahawk. Or I like that. That is a really solid point. Well, Charlie, do you got enough evidence here? or Oconomowoc, or I like that. That is a really solid point, solid point. Well Charlie, do you got enough evidence here? Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to. Hear, hear, hear, hear. Hear, hear, hear, hear.

We welcome New Hampshire and the great lake of Winniasakopee. Did I say it right? I don't know. Winniasakopee, but it's gotta be just the lakes region, because I don't know where some of these bigger cities in New Hampshire are. No, we're just gonna group them all together. It's way easier.

Cheers. Cheers. New one. Here he, here he. Welcome to the Midwest New Hampshire. All right, well sweet. Now I've been to the Midwest before. Yeah.

We're doing pretty well. I like it. Well, thank you for calling in, and... Yeah, thanks for swinging into the Midwest, too., I like it. Well, thank you for calling in and. Yeah, thanks for swinging into the Midwest too. We're glad to have you. Yeah, it's nice to see you. Get yourself. Appreciate you guys having me.

Remember to get to the bar, all right? Once a week. Yeah, yeah. At least later tonight when I'm off of work, you know, when I'm done driving, that's when I'll hit it up. I'll have my beer later for you folks. Good deal. Sounds good. Thanks for calling in, man. I'll have my beer later for you. Good deal. Sounds good.

Thanks for calling in, man. We'll see you soon. Yeah. Well, that's another state in the books, Miles New Hampshire. That's a country song. There's another state in the books, Miles. Bars are just churches. And yeah, that is we should write it.

We should. Bars are just churches. And yeah, that is. We should write it. We should. Bars, oh, bars. Kind of make it, maybe we can make it like a polka hymn. Oh. A little more like a little mixed little polka and gospel together. Combine all of this, huh?

I like that. I like that. Well, Charlie, how you feeling? That was another good episode of the Belly. The podcast. Yeah, it is. It is another episode. I'm feeling great about it, Miles. And it's just been it's been fun chit chatting with these folks. We've covered a lot of ground.

And we hope that you all will cover your bartenders rent with a tip. Make sure you tip your bartender folks. It's important and watch for deer. See you next one. Love you guys.