Bellied Up - Best of Bellied Up: Volume 2

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

Here’s the Best of Bellied Up from the first 108 episodes. Episode 109 will be out next week. Thanks for listening 🍻 Bar in a Hardware Store (00:02:30-00:23:28) Mason the UPS Mail Man (00:23:29-00:38:19) Wearing a Camo Tux (00:38:19-00:57:240 Kid named after a stripper (00:57:26-01:09:42) Caller hates Wisconsin Roads (01:09:42-01:25:00) Coast Guard (01:26:58-01:45:53) Teacher is Dominatrix (01:45:54-01:59:26) Tailgating at the airport (01:59:27-02:15:43) The Stool Sniffer (02:15:44-02:33:28) A call from Norway (02:33:32-02:57:37) How to excite a bull rider (02:57:38-03:21:38) Defending Indiana (03:21:39-03:43:52) We talk to a Funeral Director (03:43:53-04:09:03) Get yourself a ⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠ Hat Listen to Myles' Podcast You Betcha Radio Listen to Charlie's Podcast Cripescast

We got poll tabs poll tabs poll tabs barely cracked this one. I can see that. It's a winner Charlie Let me see we're about to find out You come home Ladies and gentlemen miles has a three pole pole tab. He's got the single on the outside and he gives it a tear and No way He just won seven hundred seventy seven dollars Oh, wait. Whoa. Whoa. Let's go. He just won seven hundred seventy seven dollars. Rounded drinks on him. Rounded drinks on him.

Oh, all right. Let's go. That's I've been playing pull tabs for how long now. And you I never win. That is why you pull tab invest right there. Seven hundred seventy seven dollars, ladies and gentlemen. You got to make sure the bartender knows, you know, he's pulled a lot for that tab folks. It's been a long time coming. Congratulations. A lot of bars, a lot of tabs. Wow. I'm excited for you. I mean, let's go. I don't even know. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Is that that real? Yes. Yeah.

Take a picture of it. What do you got? What is this for? Oh, this for our podcast. You want to be on it? What's your name? I'm Jill. Jill, where are you from? Minnetonka Lake, Minnetonka. Oh, yeah. Beautiful lake. Well, welcome to the Bellied Up podcast.

Yeah, I don't fish, but I love to. I love to I love to swim I love to boat. Oh yeah what's your favorite stroke when you're swimming? Backstroke. Backstroke nice I'm more of a breaststroke guy because I'm lazy you don't care though. So how about that have you ever seen someone win 777 bucks? This one. Yeah I was planning on it. Yeah, yeah, I was planning on it. They won $777. I mean, that's incredible. And you're getting a free drink because of that now. Thank you, boys.

Yeah, well, thank you. We got more to open. Yeah, we do have. Hey, why don't you open one here? We'll give you a couple. Yeah, you open them up. Open them here. Yeah, open them.

I'm honest. OK, so what do you do? Well, you're open. Yeah, I don't work. You don't work. I've never Yeah. Open them. What's I'm honest. OK, so what do you do while you're open? Yeah, I don't work. You don't work. I've never worked. Never work. Good for you. How did you pull that? Yeah, you know. My parents. That's awesome. Oh, yeah. Good deal. Good for you. All right.

That's a zero. Yeah. That's a zero. Nothing there. OK, while you're doing this, you want to say welcome to the Bellied Up podcast, everybody. Welcome to the Bellied Up broadcast everybody. Yeah. Holy smokes. Yeah, my name is John. John, how you doing? Where are you calling in from? Oh, calling from the great state of Kansas City. Well, not state, but you know. It's a state of mind. The great state of mind of Kansas City. How is Kansas City? You know, we're still in that championship mindset. Yeah. Congratulations.

It's great. Now, you know, I do want to apologize for Super Bowl one. But aside for the. Yeah, we know we're still we're still kind of holding the garage against against the Packers for that. Yeah, you should. That was back when, you should. That was back when, you know, it was really tough to win a Super Bowl, Charlie. That's it was a hell of a lot tougher then than technically, technically it wasn't a Super Bowl. So it was a Super

Bowl. That was Super Bowl one. Yeah. Well, oh, I see what you're saying. It wasn't called the Super Bowl before the before the merger. You know, so that's exactly what I'm saying. Not as much competition. Less people knew about the NFL at that point. Now we're getting the cream of the crop talent and it clearly shows that Kansas City was better than the Packers. Sorry, I don't care. Anything about the talent. I don't care. Look at the equipment those guys wore back then to play football. You had to basically I mean, you had to be the they were playing with

plastic helmets. I know. And so people weren't leading with their head as much. I mean, yeah, they were real men, you know, they were they were willing to go and put their life on the line and get killed. You know, well, no, they wouldn't hit each other as hard because they'd have as good equipment. So if you go pound for pound, how hard they had, it's about the same. I'm sorry. You just pulled that out of your ass. There's no way. Sorry that I just kind

of schooled you on that one about Super Bowl one or no, sorry. Championship one. No, it was first of all, it was a Super Bowl and the Packers won a ton of titles before the Super Bowls even there. They've won the most titles in the NFL for all of you. Yeah, I won a bunch of like middle school basketball titles as well. When I was a kid. Anyway, what brings you on the Bellied Up podcast? Oh, you know, just one, excited to talk to you guys. I didn't think I'd actually get through,

so excited to be on, but yeah, looking for some, you know, that good old Midwest advice. Well, we'd love to get some Belly-on up to the bar and tell us what's on your mind So I've got this this dream of mine to like start a bar hardware store Mixing booze with drills and what could possibly go wrong and booze with drills. What could possibly go wrong?

Right? You know, I think it could be a liability nightmare, but I haven't talked to insurance, and that's not my forte. Let's not start with insurance. Let's start with the dream. Yes. Let the lawyers figure that out later.

Do you think in Wisconsin Dows, when they were building the world's tallest water slide, they were like, what would the insurers think of this? Hell no. They got to that a long time later. There's enough bribing money to go around. So tell us about this dream, I'm loving it so far. Well, you know, so I love tools, I'm what God does. And I like to have a drink.

And if you've got that project that you're working on late at night and you don't have a hardware store to go to, but it's also the same time. It's been a rough day, so you need to have a drink. So combine the two together, have a hardware store that's open bar hours or a bar that's open hardware store hours. Basically, just the whole idea is you got guys that just go belly up to the bar and a bring this, you know, contraption I'm working on. I don't know how to fix it. And like, Hey, you know, bring your needs to read. We'll take care of you.

Oh, I love it. Well, first of all, great idea to make the bar the think tank for all of the projects, right? Yes. You maybe come to the bar, you workshop it with the other guys at the bar. See, I did their workshop it. And then you go ahead next door to the hardware store. You get the stuff, go home and you do your project. I see. I'm thinking. Or better yet, your hardware stores is the bar. So while the guys are there sitting at the bar and they're like, you know what? You know, take some, take some pressure off, have a drink, have some tippy cow. Cause that's been good.

Basically we make it like an app store, but for drinking and hardware. So you can sit down and you can see the wall and there's people walking around handing you drinks saying, can I help you with anything? I like it. I like this. And you know, you open the you with anything? I like it. I like it. And you know you open the tab they spend way more money then they forget what the problem was they have to come back you know it's a great idea I think. It's perfect. Now will they be able to actually bring the projects in and start actually doing it? Will there be a workshop in the bar?

I hadn't thought about that, but you know, I could see that, but I can't see the problem. You know, I have guys that have had a few too many and then use power tools. I mean, I don't know. They're doing it at home. No, well, it's just, you got to adopt the mentality of, we just don't talk about that part of this thing, you know

It's just an don't ask don't tell situation You know have like if you want a membership you can go to speak easy in the back It's a speak easy, but it's actually a workshop. Yeah Go and then you should also have some you should have some like high chairs and That people sitting on them and they're like the lifeguards, you know have some, uh, you should have some like high chairs and that people sitting on them and they're like the lifeguards, you know, have some life. No, no, no, no. Don't stick your finger in that, in that engine. It's going, wait till it's turned off. I blow the

whistles. Hey, sit back down. You just have a bunch of guys like, yeah, I've got a membership to read, but I only have three figures. You know, that's the, that's really where you know, Hey, reads, you may lose a finger, but you'll gain a friend. You know, I think we got it all figured out. I like this. So like what I'm trying to decide is do I buy, do I buy a bar and then retrofit it into a hardware store or buy a hardware store and retrofit it into a bar? I think you buy the hardware store.

A lot more room for activities. Plus it's a little more of a blank slate, you know? Yeah, there's more square footage and it's probably cheaper land than bars are usually on pricey land. I do have to ask this though, what lighting are you gonna go with? Are you gonna go with bar lighting

or are you gonna go with hardware store lighting? Cause two very different vibes you can create. Well, lighting is actually my specialty. That's what I do for a living. I sell lighting. So I'd go with some like designer lighting on the front end and then like you walk through a door and you can go to like the hardware store lighting in the back. But yeah, you can totally like make the front of the store

look just like a bar. But then you go behind the bar and there's a hardware store. Well, question. You're being the lighting guy and this is our dream now together. I dream that it's, they all got dimmers and you can change the lighting in each section of this store slash bar. So if some guys are really working on a maybe a small engine of some sort, you can crank those lights up right where they're at so they know what they're doing and then what doesn't kill the vibes in the rest of the spot. Or, or you have a certain group of your attendants

be the flashlight. I was just gonna say, no. Kids back in the day, you used to be a caddy, right? Yeah. You used to be a caddy. Kids also will work as like baggers and grocery stores and stuff like that. Bring them to give back to the local community by hiring all the young kids to hold flashlights for all the people work in there. Oh, there's

going to be so much verbal abuse. Well, you shine the damn light over here. Look where I'm pointing, you know? But it might be a little different if it's not their own kid. Yeah, that's true. It is like it's kind of like a yeah. Yeah, it's also kind of maybe you could you could work in a corking fee. So when you go to a restaurant, you can bring your own bottle of wine. You just pay for them to open it. You can drink your own bottle of wine.

Do you want to bring your own kid to yell at? You just got to pay a smaller fee than you would for the one that's provided there. It's a corking fee for the flashlight kid. And then you can yell at your own kid while you're there. Oh, it's therapy. It's therapy. I mean, the kids going to therapy, but it's therapy for the dads. Ah, I love this. This is a great idea. If he's hanging out with his dad and the speak easy slash workshop, what does his dad take a finger off?

You know, you're gonna need therapy. Well, and that's what's next. You just that's the add on business that you add next door is just therapy. You know, I've noticed that therapy and then you have like an urgent care, you know, you just start leasing out some land next to it. Yeah. I just have an emergency room that just specializes in putting fingers back on.

And then wrap that into the business. Yeah. And then you have like, you know, you have a whole ice machine that we keep off limits to just keep body parts in as they come off so that they can keep them on ice. So they're still good to sell them back on. People also toss the fish in there that they just got. Oh, I see. I see. He caught some wall. I throw that in the limbs in the, in the digits ice machine. Throw that in there with the digits. You open it up. There's like, wait, what is this? Go ahead. Yeah. You got, you got Wendy's got their, their finger chili. Then you know,

Reed, we'd have our, I don't know, but finger, not serving that in our menu. You know, I honestly think about the finger chili, right? No. And then if it's like one of the guys are like, ah, screw it. I don't want to. I don't want to sew my finger back on. You guys can then hang all of the lost fingers on the wall as like trophies. Basically, yeah. The wall of the wall that brings up the question.

Do you serve do you serve food now? Because, oh, yeah. I mean, you've got your why you got your bar food. Cause I mean, you've got your, why stop? You got your bar food, but I mean, yeah, I imagine this is like a low end steak house as well. Yeah. You might as well. If this is our dream, right? Low end steak house, maybe, maybe only rib eyes, rib eyes. Yeah, that'd be good. Some, uh, you know, it's a burgers and cheap steaks kind of place, almost like also a lot of chips. You got to have a lot of chips. Here's what I'm, I think that you could actually partner with, you know, a lot of these hardware stores are having a hard time with supply chain. You walk

in there, they don't have a lot going on. Like they don't have a lot of supply for you. They got the space, you know? So I think you could almost go into a hardware store that's on the ropes, pitch this idea, and then you're halfway there. I mean, this could be a real thing. Yeah, there are some hardware stores that are on the ropes. That would be a great business move. Maybe you could do something to really just revive it. Also, if they maybe do go out of business, a hardware store does, then you can just use their empty shell space. You can to get your own stock. You actually have a buy, sell and trade section You know, I've got this old table saw that was my dad sitting in my garage. I've been trying to find a home for it for a while. You know, by the way, if anyone wants a table saw out there, it's going for 200 bucks. Okay. You got to come get it though.

I'm really asking for it with that one. But yeah, I buy selling trade section in the ideal By the way, you got anything you want to buy seller trade? You want so man, I've always got stuff I want to sell he wants to buy a bar Charlie. Oh, that's true He wants to buy a bar, you know in Kansas City. So alright well to fund it. Give us one thing you want to sell Hmm my left kidney, I don't know. Yeah, I mean someone Give us one thing you want to sell. Hmm. Well, my left kidney. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, someone'll, you know, I can help him with that. I don't think I, my role at Dex doesn't got, I don't got a black market guy. Hey, why go black market? You don't, you don't got a kidney guy, you know? No, that's like one of the guys I don't have. Unfortunately, anyone with a filet knife can That's like one of the you know, guys, I don't have unfortunately anyone with a fillet knife can You know if you can if you can clean a walleye or clean a deer, he's probably a kid. Oh, yeah I bet you I could get that kidney out

It's about getting the kidney into someone else. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true That's true Falao I don't mean you can get a kidney out folks That's another life lesson brought to you by the bellied up podcast brought to you by reads bar and hardware They got what you know down Something that you've got a lot here in the Midwest or in the in the in the u.s I've not seen any like pub and hardware stores But in in Ireland, you see it all over the place. Do you have an hardware stores? I guess maybe because

space is limited, but really, well, looks like we're, ah, dang it. We gotta do an R and D trip to Ireland and drink a bunch and go visit hardware stores. Charlie should do a bellied up in Ireland. We should, we should just go to, you can make, you can probably make that a tax write off. Oh, 100%. Dude. Yeah. I mean, that's my, that's my, Oh, we got to make sure we drink plenty of drink, drink good beer.

Ooh, well we're over there. Yeah. Oh, you're coming too now. I like it. It's our dream. I like it. It's our dream, Charlie. All right. Well, let's, let's go do it. Let's go do it.

By the way, using the Ireland thing as an example of while they do it in Ireland, in Ireland, they have every place is a bar like they have churches that are bars. They have schools that are bars. They have hospitals that are bars. That's just what they do in Ireland. But I mean, if you need if you need something to fill up something on a business plan, you say, hey, they did it in Ireland. Yeah, that's true.

Nobody reads those things anyway. That's true. You go ahead, Charlie. Just thanks for coming on. You really got our creative juices flowing. My juices are flowing, I'll tell you that. If you know me, my head's now gonna be just Rolling with ideas for this for this business. We're gonna start. Yeah, I really like it by the way. We're all partners on this

Thinking Charlie and I may be 40 40 and you can be 20. Yeah 40 40 20 work for you You know, we can we can talk of your people, talking to my people. Yeah, it sounds like you agreed to that. Yeah. Well, I have your mom call us and we'll, uh, we'll chit chat about it. Okay. Sounds good. And Hey, one other thing I've got to say, I think Kansas city needs more

love as a part of the Midwest. Um, you know, we're kind of like that. It's your city. Naval of the Midwest. Pitch your city. Pitch your city, pitch your city. Why is Kansas city not getting enough love from the Midwest? Well, Kansas city should get a lot more love.

I would make the argument. Uh, it may sound odd, but we are like the, uh, the naval of the Midwest. The navel. That, you know, we're just that not, yeah, we're that naughty recess right in the beer belly of the Midwest. The navel? And that, you know, we're just that not, yeah, we're that naughty recess right in the beer belly of the Midwest. The beer belly of the, is it a smelly belly butt? Is there a lot of lint going on in Kansas City or why you say that?

I mean, I wouldn't say that, but we do have the garment district, so they could, they probably love the lint there, but we got a lot of great breweries, a lot of great beer. It's just a great, um, great scene for just, just good old Midwest town. Uh, everybody is super Midwest nice and a real friendly, a lot of deer hunters. Um, and, uh, you know, we are right there

on the outskirts because if you go out much farther West, you know, Kansas, Oklahoma, that's definitely not Midwest. Well, that's you know, Kansas, Oklahoma, that's definitely not Midwest. Well, that's Midwest Kansas, Kansas, Oklahoma. I mean, Dorothy is as Midwest as it comes, you know, she's from I mean, it's kind of getting out there. Okay. Well, listen, you're forgetting a huge aspect that makes Kansas City super Midwest and that is the tailgating. I went to a chief's game and you guys, I'll tell you this much,

you know how to tailgate there. We do know how to tailgate and we got barbecue. I mean, we've got some of the, in my opinion, it's the best, the best food in the, you know, in the, in the whole country. We got, we got barbecue. It's way better than Texas. Texas barbecue doesn't stand, isn't anything like we got barbecue. It's way better than Texas. Texas barbecue doesn't stand, isn't anything like Kansas City barbecue. And you mix that with all the great breweries, all the great beer and distilleries that we have.

And Jay Rieger, which is one of the coolest just distilleries here in the area. They got a adult size slide right in the middle of the, right in the middle of the bar. And it was an old electric park that used to pump beer out underneath the road into a spigot in a park. And it was actually an inspiration for Walt Disney, uh, for, for Walt Disney world. Um, and so Jay Rieger, that it just such a cool place.

They're revitalizing the whole area and calling it electric park. And I doubt they'll be pumping beer into spigots, but that's what it used to be. And I mean, it was like, this is harder prohibition area era. So you've got a lot of just a lot of distilleries, a lot of brews, brews here in the area. Great place. But yeah, the slide in Jay Rieger, man, it's gotta be one of the coolest places here in the area. Great place. But yeah, the slide in Jay Rieger, man, it's got to be one of the coolest places here in Kansas City. Until Reed's Bar and Hardware Store becomes a thing. And you know what? If you think that you got to be worried about insurance with Reed's Bar and Hardware Store, how much insurance do you think they were worried about with pumping beer into a

park? You know? So forget about insurance. You know, this was back in the day when the insurance company was also the mafia, the guy funding the bank. It may still be the case though. Yeah. Kansas City mob. It's not about what you know, it's who you know these days. So, uh, so, and just remember that legal stuff is not a roadblock. It's just a speed bump along the way. So, hey, man, couldn't have said it better myself. All right, man. Well, this was awesome.

I can't wait for us to kickstart our our dream together. Our dream is I mean, I've been dreaming about this since I was just a kid, actually. So yeah, I think it may be percentage wise. I'll kid actually. So, yeah. I'm thinking maybe percentage wise, I'll go 60, you go 20 and then he can go 20 as well. Yeah, I'm gonna have my mom call you too. Okay. So, well thanks for calling in

and I can't wait to see this dream become a reality. Indeed. Well, tell your folks to say hi and watch out for deer. All right, you too now. Real good now. See ya. Miles, that was that's so much fun. That was a great idea. I mean, that is actually like it would be fun to do that. Yeah, because think of all of the workshopping and the good, bad, the bad, good ideas that would come out of us sitting around having a couple beers, maybe taking a look at how are we gonna get this snow blower running?

Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah. And there would be a lot of creative, a lot of old guys would come in and just start kicking it and then be like, that's all you gotta do. And then it would start off like, damn it. But you would have been tinkering with it all day if you wouldn't have brought it

to Reed's Heart Bar and Hardware Store. And the other thing I think there's a lot of people and sort of like a lot of younger guys, gals, whatever. They don't necessarily know their way around tools the way like our dads did. Yeah. And I think that this would introduce do it yourself kind of mentality to a whole new generation.

You know, I mean, YouTube is a great way to figure out the stuff, but this is like YouTube with a bar. Yeah. Well, and it's like, maybe it could even be a side gig for all the retirees. Oh, they're bellied up to the bar just drinking. And then you can just go up to him and be like, hey, I got a gig for you. And then they just work on it and then go sit back down at the bar. It's great. They have pays for the bar bill. Yeah. Ah, this is fantastic

Holy smokes, this is Mason Sullivan calling you boys from way up in New Hampshire Mason Sullivan God you got a nice accent there Mason. Oh, thanks, buddy Grew up in Maine. So I got of got the um Lena accent still but oh yeah well good for you. Well belly on up to this bar Mason. Tell us what's on your mind my guy. All right so uh my hard working man worked for UPS and uh I've seen numerous caring out in the public and I just want to know how you guys with your Midwest Nice would deal with it. Well Mason, give us a specific caring interaction that you had some trouble with recently.

Oh geez, well probably the best one I've had this past Christmas had my helper in the jump seat there with me and we were parked on this little side street dead end, not dead end but well like cut between you know and so I'm packed maybe 30 second delivery just bing bang boom right to the door and back. This big Dodge Ram comes pulling up right next to me. You guys can't be packed on a hill. I want your supervisor's name. So I go okay I'll give you my supervisor's name because you can go beat the shit out of my supervisor. I don't care. Um, but the guy gets back in his truck, goes to peel off and I'm, so I hang out my door. Hey buddy. Um, I thought you wanted my supervisor's name and number or you got it right here. Don't you talk to me if I see your truck again. Well, end of

the day I found his address and now his packages are held at the UPS center and he has to go pick them up. But I'm just wondering how you guys would deal with something like that. I mean, you kind of nailed it. Honestly. It's the, you're playing the long game, right? He's got to go get his packages and set them good delivered to his door, right? Oh yeah. Like I've done that to a couple of people. Like if they get aggressive, I'm not, I'm not dealing with you. No, you can go pick them up. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little nice. And were you nice to their face or were you, were you really throwing it back at them? Or, well, to be honest with you, I was scared shitless.

And so I was just, oh, yep, yep, nope. I'm pretty sure I'm in the right here, bud. Just sorry, you know, I have to make a delivery. There's a house right here. Where else do you want me to park? So to get a visual here, how short are the shorts you wear when you deliver the packages? You got the nice short brown shorts?

Oh yeah. Well, you know, I'm caked up and I wear the medium. So there's a couple of inches above the knee, probably like four or five fingers. Did you say you're caked up? Oh, you know what my guy defined caked up for anybody out there who doesn't know the meaning of that. Oh, like, like kicked up. You gotta, you gotta booty on it. You gotta come truck if you know what I mean. Yeah. I like that. A little UPS driver, short shorts, little caked up action. So yeah, Charlie kids. So, uh, Oh, I said they, uh, they call me the kiddery kid is

like delivering kiddory and I hang out in a hammock on my lunch breaks and stuff. So the whole town knows me. Where do you put up your hammock? Well, it's hanging off the mirror and a, uh, in the sign post. I can send you a picture if you want. Yeah. Send the picture to belly. Okay, Charlie. Well, he's sending that. Why aren't you, how would you handle that guy? Oh man. The honest answer is I go, Oh yeah. What's that? Oh my gosh. Do we park right here? Let's role play it. You're the guy. Why did you park you? You can't park here. Oh geez.

No, did I park that? Is that your spot? Yeah, that's my spot. Oh my gosh. You know, where'd you get that shirt? Uh, uh, Kohl's that's not important. I use Kohl's cash. Did you now?

Oh my, you know what? Now that you say that, I'm sorry. I parked in your spot here. I got some extra Kohl's cash right here. Do you? For your inconvenience. No, I... Have some of that.

I'm mad at you, I don't want, why you giving me this? Come on now, fella, you can't be mad with someone when they're giving you Kohl's cash. Just try it now. Oh, I swear. Just try it, you got a nice beard too, I tell you what. And I'm not hitting on you, I got a wife. Okay, well I did, but you know, anyway, you take that, all right? No. I'm not hitting on you. I got a wife. Okay. Well, I did but you know anyway you take that all right

I'm gonna move this car. Okay, okay What's that? Yeah, you can park. Are you sure? Yeah I'm headed to Kohl's anyway. All right. We'll take the Kohl's cash Thank you and and I'll be out of here soon. Don't you worry anything up on there? You know if they got a nice polo there, I got to go to church. So that would be cool You want it in Brown as well or that would be cool. Okay. Yeah, that'd be slick. Thank you Well, sorry to disturb you. No, I'm sorry myself. All right, be good. Hey watch for deer out there. Okay, they're humping each other right now All right. All right

So yeah, that's the Midwest version But you know what? I I think that I like your attitude on this, you know, and your your reaction is a little bit more honest You know, so there's two ways to you know to skin a cat All right. Here we go. We got the picture coming up. Oh my god. That is That is awesome. I love it In inclement weather emmick fits right in the back of the truck hanging up between the shelves I love Don't think I got a picture of that one for you boys. Let's tweet that one out.

Let's tweet that out. We're going to celebrate your ingenuity in the in the UPS delivery trade. So that was. Oh, thanks guys. Well, I was going to say that was kind of a bad experience. What's maybe been the wild this experience, the one that you're like, I can't believe that just happened to you while you've been on the road. Oh, so, uh, I'm a dog lover. I have a 150 pounds great paranormal at home. So any dog I see out on the road, I play with and fuck around

with it. Right. Yeah. So, uh, there's this one on my route and she'll follow me all the way around the cul-de-sac. She don't care. Goes into other people's driveways, whatever. Well, uh, one winter I found her like three miles down the road at a, uh, heating oil, heating oil like shop or whatever and had her climb in the truck, drove her back to the house. Luckily I had a package for him but I would have dropped the dog off anyway and after that the dog is been on a leash. So the dog, there was no reason the dog was at the heating oil place. You just found the dog and you brought the dog. Apparently it followed the heating oil truck.

Okay. Okay. So you feel a little, you feel a little guilty is what you're saying by returning the dog made the owner think that they need to leash him up and now the dog can't be a dog and wander around. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, but you know, I've convinced them to get a, like a, like the electric hunting colors they can like, uh, now there's that bummer, like buzz at them and they use that in case he wanders off. But so I still see that dog every now and again, but. You ever had a bad interaction with a dog?

I mean, I have, but my wife says, she went to school for animal care and education. So she's like taught me a bunch of like how to read dogs and stuff. So I haven't really had a bad interaction. I've had like the mean dogs behind gates and stuff and like bouncing off like the glass doors trying to get at me. But I'm just, oh, who's a good boy?

Check the UPS guy. Leave me alone. What's what? I don't really care. What's your most irrational fear in life? In life? Honestly, other people on the road, other motorists. That's pretty rational, man. There's a lot of people texting and driving these days. Oh, I know, but it's like, I don't have to be worried.

No, I don't have to be worried about like every car. Yeah. Just like the few dumb people, but after being rear ended once in almost a week after by the same person in my new car. Well, hey, boy, boy, boy, boy. So this person is head hunting you. I guess so, man. And if she's listening, I swear to God, I hope you got caught by the cops again.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you know this person? You got to tell us the full story. Okay. So I was turning left into a tractor supply company to get some food for my animals and whatnot. And, uh, the 55 mile an hour road, two lane road, no turning lanes or anything.

And, uh, so I was waiting to turn left against traffic and bunch of cars behind me merged over into like the breakdown lane to go around me. Well, not this bitch because she was texting and driving and hits me. And so I pull out whatever she comes up to me crying, hey, don't call the police. I was entering a text from my work and I was like, okay, well, you couldn't have told me that. And the cops are already coming. So cops get there in like two and a half minutes. I'm like, okay, well, you couldn't have told me that and the cops are already coming. So cops get there in like two and a half minutes. I'm like, she's already told me that she was texting. I don't really, I don't care, but you know, it's unsafe.

Uh, I just want my info when I get out of here. So like two weeks goes by, I get my new vehicle. I'm driving back home and I noticed that there's this big white Toyota behind me with grill damage and no driver side mirror. And there she is again, elbows on the steering wheel, texting right above the dash nearly hits me. So I had the cops number who came to the scene because I had my thumb over my insurance or some shady needed new picture. But so I called him up and he went and did a welfare check on her to make sure that you know she gets the importance of texting and driving. So she didn't hit you the

second time you just saw her on the road the second time texting and driving. So she didn't hit you the second time. You just saw her on the road the second time texting and driving again. Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yep. Well, good for you. You know, my balls sent a message to her. That's very good. Now, I got another question as being a guy who delivers but we had to head miles as being a guy who delivers other people's mail. There's kind of a stigma out there for postmen, you know

The lonely housewife at the house when the mailman shows up. Have you ever had any? Women get a little too friendly with you and you've been delivering packages So I'm newly married you when you've been delivering packages? So I'm newly married. But back before I was wearing my wedding band, I had a couple of people interacting with me, but in that way, but I'm, my wife said that she'll never be an actual, it will be a widow. And I, uh, I really believe that. So I know I'm not going to do any of that, but, um,

she's going to kill them. I'm not, I'm not saying that you would do anything, but as you know, you got, wait a minute. Housewives coming on to you. I know I just have to preface that, but were you ever a couple of times, Hey, can you bring this inside? No. Cause it's against policy lady. Leave me alone right on the point she's where it's going. You never bring the package in the house, huh? No, not. I mean, if it's like a big TV or something and it's an old lady or I'll slide in the door like inside the house, but I'm not walking into like your master bedroom

to put your 200 pound mattress and box spring in there, you know? Yeah. I usually skip that part anyways. Um, well that's, you gotta, Oh, fuck you. Mine. It took me a second, but I got you. Yeah. Oh yeah. What can I say? We're a bunch of guys hanging out drinking at the bar, you know? Well, you got an interesting life, man. I think what you do is fascinating and it was a pleasure talking to you today. Hey, pleasure talking to you guys too. One time. Listen, the first time getting on my, one of your

Patriot arms over on the, uh, you betcha radios. So I appreciate it. My guy. That's awesome. Just keep the ice cream cake away from Tyler. We all know what he wants. Yeah. Dirty dog. All right, man. Well, guys, well, it's been a blast, man. Yeah. You take care now. We'll see you soon. Good luck with the Karens. Oh, thanks guys. Bye bye. Great guy. Fun guy. Very funny. He's like, he's a guy that I just want to drink with. Yeah. I feel like he's the friend that you're all drinking and he, you just put a quarter in them and you let them just tell stories the whole

night. Those are the best friends. You know? Yeah. It's like listening to a podcast in real life. Yeah. He should have a podcast. I know. Well, he was on ours. We were honored. That was and he got the job. How are you doing, Sadal? Where are you calling him from? I'm calling him from La Crosse. I'm doing pretty good.

Where are you calling him from? I'm calling him from La Crosse. Oh, I'm doing too good. Nice, La Crosse. Very cool. What is on your mind, Sadel? Well, so my boyfriend and I are many years from getting married, but we have talked about the day and like, imagine what that will look like. And the thing is he wants to wear a full camo.

A full camel suit. You don't say, don't say Charlie's wearing camo as we speak. Yeah, I am. And I'm going to be honest, it sounds like you're not loving it, so I don't know if you're gonna love our advice. I mean, I, yeah, I just kind of want to know how I can compromise with him so that, you know, we can still incorporate what you want without having just complete head to toe camo. Sadal?

He wants to have like... Say no more. Say no more. I completely understand. You want to compromise here. Okay, so right now as stands, you're wearing a traditional white bridal gown and white. Yeah. And he is wearing camo. So very simple solution. You just make your white dress blaze orange and then you got gun season, bow season. That's

a good one. Now back up a little bit before we get into a compromise, we need to figure out if a compromise is even needed. Charlie, let's talk about camo. A lot of times when someone's getting married, there's a lot of trends that go around, right? Yeah, colored suits. Yeah, my dad had the little thing that went around his belly. Oh, one of those a cummerbund. Yeah, cummerbund.

I actually think you were a gold one, if you can believe that was the royal member, the like like the frilly thing that goes down the front of the shirt. There's a lot of trends that go on with weddings and what guys wear. Correct. Yes. Now, the goal, I think, is to pick something that's timeless. Yes. And I can't think of anything that is more timeless than camo. How many years have people been wearing camo, Charlie? Since I can remember, Miles.

I think since they were in the cave, they were rocking camo, don't Don't you think yeah rocking is also what they were doing in that? They were don't come knocking when we're rocking if this caves are rocking That's the full phrase But you probably should come knocking if that caves rocking because there's an earthquake, you know I should we get out the caves now where you want to be in an earthquake But am I wrong about camo baby being the most timeless trend of all time? I I think you're right on the money with that one miles. So we have a timeless aspect to it It goes it goes with anything, especially white so that was so unimpressed with what we're doing

I think she's kind of a little bit like you kind of got me there with the timeless. Am I wrong? Did we? I don't know about that. All right. I don't know about that. Have you expressed your disdain for this groom garb choice to your groom? Yes. What did he say?

Yeah. I mean, well, he he's there. There have been days when he has. Well, I don't. OK. Well, what can you do? First, he brought in like he like his like X- Xbox friends.

They're playing Call of Duty on it. They're playing Call of Duty. Yeah. And what did these, what did these Xbox friends say? I think they said you're ridiculous. Oh really? He's got some friends that have been trained. friends that have been trained. And I think they kind of said just just go with what she won.

I mean, that's also great advice. Yeah. But we have kind of talked about like when if he wore like a camo vest and maybe have like a camo like handkerchief instead of the whole thing and he could have like he could wear like he wants to wear like cowboy boots too and he could have camo on his cowboy boots i think that'd be okay. Like camo accents. Okay. I see you trying to talk about so far. Why would it be so bad if he wore camo? I hate camo. You hate camo.

Okay, well we may need to. I don't like it. And yet you love him. Yes. And he loves camo. Yeah. And I, I mean, I, I can't, I am coming to terms with the fact that it's in my life. Uh, he does have camo sheet. So we've been sleeping on camo sheet. I mean, let's take a second. You knew what you were getting there. This is not a surprise. Camo sheet. Damn, this guy's cool.

When what does a girl do when you go to his house for the first time and he pulls back the well, it might have been a camo comforter as well, but he pulls back the duvet cover and you see camo sheets. What went through your head? I think I was like, oh, no. And did you because I was like. Did you leave? I I did not leave, no.

Well, I think that's kind of you. You didn't really set a good precedent from the start. Yeah, maybe. What if you told him you just need to wear a regular suit and that's the end of the story, what would he say? Ah, I think you put up a fight. He definitely would, uh, he wouldn't just go, okay, fine. Now another question.

I do this a lot with Ann. I say that I'm going to do something pretty ridiculous up until the very moment that I do it and I don't do that because I never plan to do it in the first place, but I just did it to get a rise out of her to bluff. Yes. The old bluff technique. Do you think that's what he's doing or do you think he's pretty serious? Uh, I, I, it's mostly a bluffing sort of thing. He, uh, wasn't a big fan of getting married. Uh, when I, when we first started dating. So like, you know, I think that when we talked about getting

married, he was like, I'm going to wear camo so that you won't want to marry me. So maybe, well, so hold on, Charlie, we maybe have another caller that's called in before that you might want to have a Conversation with that this sounds eerily similar Charlie is this fella a trophy buck hunter by any chance We're always going hungry. He gets a dough max. We've been we we have been together for three years and he hasn't gotten a bus in that time. So why is he trying to wear camo to your wedding? What is he?

He's got a. Yeah. What's he trying to prove here? I'm not sure. I know he likes he likes guns and he like it's like it's like it's not it's not a very I feel like mostly hunting is like a hobby. Very like it's just another hobby. Like it's not like his passion, but he does like, he does like, he just likes camo.

Right. But it would be kind of ridiculous if my hobby was model trains and I was never able to put a model train together and make it work. That would be like, well well it's not really your hobby you're not very good and on top of that he's riding a model train down the aisle to get married to you he's dressed as Thomas the train down the aisle but he can't put a model train together would be awesome yeah okay okay. So not now. Does he hunt?

Does he? Is he now Charlie before we not success? I'm too much here. I'm not dogging him. I'm trying to get some facts straight. The thing is, is the I can empathize with the go hunting for the camaraderie, the goddamn camaraderie, not so much the deer. So I guess I am kind of back on his side a little more

that it's not about getting a deer. It's about hanging out with the fellas. Yeah, I agree. I mean, look, I haven't got myself a deer in two years. So I get that. And I'm going at your first wedding. What an asshole. No, I did not, actually.

So, OK. You know, this is the stuff I got to put up with here. I here's my here's I'm trying to dive into this a little bit. Does does he go every year hunting? I didn't even remember the response little bit. Does he go every year hunting? I didn't even remember the response to that.

Does he go every year? I think he did skip one of those years. I think he didn't go. But he also, he usually, I think he usually probably hunts like, like two days out of the season. Okay. So now is he a duck hunter and what kind of camo are we going with? That's a very good question we haven't asked yet. Is it duck pattern? Is it like a real tree sort of bow hunting deer pattern?

Is it desert storm camo? Yeah. Did he serve in the military? So he's a deer hunter and I think we're going for real tree because that is his sheets are our real tree sheets. They've actually got the logo in that. Is he trying to save some money by having a tux made out of his sheets? Oh, I hope not. Is he a bull? Why not? What's, are the sheets not in good shape or? No, he's had those sheets since he was in high school. Oh, God. And if those sheets could talk. Yeah.

Is he a bow hunter? Is he a bow hunter? No. So he's not even wearing camo when he... It's not associated with anything but his I'm going to be honest, Charlie. I think he likes camo for Call of Duty. But then...

Oh, do we know what kind of... Oh, it's real tree. but that's not what they got. I'm very confused. Yeah, I'm confused by this, too. I think, OK, the point is what we've established here, though, is he doesn't have a hard connection with the camel. You know what you could do? You could start roasting them a little bit about why are you wearing camel? You're a gun hunters. You know, it's not even the right thing. Yeah. Why are you wearing camo? Yeah. Our fridge is empty.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, if you can't fill the freezer, you can't wear camo. You know, you're going somewhere else with that. But. My. My. My. My. Well, so and what day is the wedding oh we we're years out we have not he has not proposed to me we haven't picked a date we're 20 I'm 21 he's 22 we just imagined Oh, that's pretty good. I imagine it. Ah, but what I would say is don't blink because you may take a nap, wake up and you're 25 years later and he still hasn't proposed and he still goes hunting

and he still doesn't have any venison in the freezer. And you and the other gal that called in the other time wind up in a support group together. And it's gonna be a whole thing. So I would say don't blink. They wrote a country song about that. How much? Oh yeah.

So how much you like this file? Scale one to 10. Oh, a 10. Oh wow. You're in on it. And if I asked him how much does he like you, what is he saying? I think he would also say 10. Nice. And how long have you guys been together now?

Three years. Three years from the time you were 19 to the 20 to the 21. Is that two years? 19, 20, 21? That's three years. Well, you guys, they got time to figure it out. He's bluffing though He's I think he is bluffing and I think that's why you maybe like him a little bit He's got a good sense of humor. He likes to get you riled up and I think that that you're gonna win out in the end

What does he do is he a student yes, he have a job What does he do? Is he a student? Does he have a job? He's a welder. He's a welder. The other thing to keep in mind is like a camo suit. They don't just have like camo suits out there. It might have to be a custom deal. So he's going to he's going to have to start saving up now for it. Well, you should save it for the ring. Yeah, you should save up for the ring. Is he did he make any mention about funny if he had like a camel's tux fund but not a wedding ring fund if he were to give you a ring made out of deer antler what would you say I think I would actually probably find that cool. You'd find that cool. Yeah, that's I do. I like taxidermy and stuff like that.

So I think I would actually think that's pretty cool. You guys, you guys seem like a decent fit after all. And also, we kind of dog this guy a little bit, Charlie. He sounds like a good guy. He sounds like a guy I'd like to play Xbox with. Yeah, I don't want I didn't realize you guys were 21 at the start of this. I thought this was a 28 year old question, you know I bet you he's bluffing. I think it would be cool

You know if you got on board with that, maybe maybe start start, you know start putting on some camo every now and again Look at yours. Check yourself out in the mirror Oh, you're like knock until you try it am as a real fine tree, you know, I mean Maybe oh, yeah Get yourself some duck camo. I think he did He's probably like that We're trying to help our buddy out now. I'm sure you could get some custom

camo gear and maybe try and convince them to propose, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, you could. You can get them to propose pretty quick with. Certain camel item. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's like, I tried that. Do you want them to propose now? When do you want them to propose? Ideally. I want him to propose like three years from now. Two years from now. Three.

I get three. Three. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That'll give you plenty of time to feel this situation out. You guys you guys are young. Don't worry about this yet. Meridges. I mean, he's still he hasn't got his adult brain yet. So he'll he'll snap out of it. Yeah. Or he won't. And then you'll have your answer.

So there we go. Yeah. Or he won't. And then you'll have your answer. So there we go. Yeah. Well, good luck in three years on getting proposed to. Yeah, thank you. Awesome. Thank you for calling. Do you have anything you want to buy, sell or trade? And why is it his camo sheets? Oh, if I could get somebody to buy those, she's, I don't know if I, I think I, I think I would rather find a dumpster and to buy the cheese. Yeah. You're going to need to burn those suckers. Yeah. There's a demon.

There's a demon that needs to be released. Yeah. That sounded weird, but you get what I was going for. They even got, they've got this nice little hole in them. One time he was playing with a knife and he just cut the sheet. I think I'm going to draw the line and getting details on what's what is or isn't your guys sheets. But it makes a lot of sense. He was playing with this knife. Your guys sheets, but it makes a lot of sense. He was playing with this knife Well, it's been so nice chit chatting with you. Yeah, you too. All right, we talk to you soon now. All right. Watch out for deer.

You too now. If I'm at that wedding, a lot of. Well, where's the groom at? You know, before the ceremony. Oh, you would you would you would double triple down on that. Oh, yeah. God, this is I wonder if the groom is going to show up. This is kind of embarrassing. Are they going to call it off? Has anyone seen the groom?

Why is she marrying that bush? I thought this was an indoor wedding. What's up, Kyle? How you doing, man? Oh, you know, just enjoying a random day off in the middle of the work week. Oh, that's kind of fun. Well, fuelers are, uh, uh, what's, uh, Bueller's day off. I almost combined his first name with his last name. Fuelers, fuelers day off. Ferris Bueller. It's a different kind of movie, man. It is. Well, what are you doing on your day off? Oh, you know, just sitting here drinking, uh, I'm about 20 beers deep into this 30 rack. So you're not, you're not, you are lying. It's noon. Oh, it's one o'clock here. I'm East coast time. So you don't sound like you're 20 beers deep. Are you telling the truth or no? Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm pretty, I'm pretty good. I'm pretty, uh, pretty toasty right now, as

we would say. Okay. Well, what's on your mind? Oh, so I got, I got just one hell of a predicament here. So my fiance's pregnant, right? Congratulations on the sex. Thanks. The second kid. So I feel like the second one's not as exciting as the first, but just being honest. Yeah. But, uh, so we're having a girl and, uh, and, uh, my fiance wants to name her Carter. There's only a big issue with this. I used to have an act who was a dancer, we'll say. And she went by Carter for her stage name. And I really don't know how to, my fiance, she keeps asking me, why do you, why are you still against the name Carter? And I, man, I really don't have the heart to tell this woman why. Yeah. You are in a predicament, aren't you? Yeah. Well, go ahead, Charlie. When was the last time you first of all, where was Carter working? What city?

Let's get some details on this. It's a city in New York called Rochester. Oh, Rochester. They're known for like, yeah. Carter from Rochester. Now does your fiance know that you have gone to exotic dance facilities before, or is that going to be news to her? Oh, no. She knows.

She knows. We went to one together in Canada. There's a really nice one across the border. But she doesn't know that I've needed one. Okay. You know, I just, I really don't know how to even say why I'm so against the name Carter. I just don't want to name my daughter after a stripper. I mean that's so how do you think she's going to react if you were just to outright tell her, Hey, I used to data strip or a stage name was Carter. Oh, I'd probably be sleeping on the couch, which I don't know if it'd be the worst thing.

We're at the stage of pregnancy where the whole bet is now her bet. So, you know, I'm just trying to keep the peace. You don't want to poke the bear as they say. And when someone's seven months pregnant, you don't really want to poke that bear at all. Or even call them a bear to their face. But so here's a solution for you. Just tell her, don't just don't tell her she was a stripper. Just say I used to date a girl named Carter. Who was it? When I didn't have first time I'm hearing about it back when I was in Rochester. Oh yeah. I mean, I just leave the stripper part out. She's going to do a bunch of research on this gal. She's a, she's

a lot smarter of a cookie than people think. So she might, she's got a good relationship with my mom. So I feel like she's going to ask my mother, you know, she's just, I don't know if it's lying to her here is the best option nor telling her the option. Okay. Yeah. You can lying is not a good option. The truth is not a good option. Sounds like you're caught between a stripper and a fiance and you never want to be in that position. Why does, why is your fiance? Why name your daughter Carter? Don't tell me it's like her grandmother's name or something.

No, I, she, we wanted to name, we wanted to name our daughter something different. Like we didn't want to do a basic name like Jessica or Amber or whatever. You know, we wanted to go with something different and I don't know where the hell she pulled Carter out of, but that's, that's, that's continuously been the name continuously brought up. Why don't you just say, I just don't really like it. Cause it kind of just sounds like a stripper name. Yeah. You know, like I want to, I want to say that, but let's go back to the don't poke the bear. Oh yeah. I don't want it. It's a pretty, yeah. You know, I don't want, yeah. It's a pretty. Yeah, but I guess the moral of the story is, what are some good girls' names you boys

have on the top of your head? Well, I would crack open that old Bible, you know, and just start going down the list. Ruth. Mary. Beth. Mary Magdalene. Sarah.

Jude. That's in the Bible. Take a sad song. That's what book of songs. Noah. Noah can be a girl. Yes. Yes. Can just knock off the eight Noah.

Yes, all those are Bethesda, right? Bethesda, who tempted Samson, who tried to get on Samson on the roof and gave him a lapper and then he had to cut his hair. Who is that? You guys remember? No, but she bought a but she was a nice name. So I mean, we just listed off a bunch of those. I mean, but she, but now also what you could do, you're saying you got to suggest a better name than Carter. So

she forgets about Carter. Yes. Well, I want to, yeah. Okay. You know what you do. You can start thinking about all, who's your favorite NFL team? The chargers. Okay. Um, chat. No one knows anything about the chargers. Well, I was thinking that if you were a packer, I didn't know that there were any chargers fans that existed. Yeah. Are you the only chargers fan Snoop dogs at charges fan? Just me, just me, my dad and my son. That's about it. Yeah. Jeez. Then did you ever have a distaste for the Vikings in the late nineties? Cause Chris Carter, you know, you can make that thing. The other deal is, um, uh, like there's June Carter, you know, you can try to think of another Carter association that has negative, but I'm just listing potential neutrals or positives right now.

So one question for you is, isn't just, I just don't really like it. Not a good enough reason because as Anna and I are coming up with names, she just, if I just say, just, I just don't really like it. Not a good enough reason because as Anna and I are coming up with names, she just, if I just say, Oh, I just don't really like it that much. She's usually just like, okay, well we'll figure out a different one then. Well, and we've talked about it in depth and I've told her multiple times. I really don't name Carter too much, but her heart is like that. Her heart's like that. The name Carter, she wants to do Carter Elizabeth, which I, I liked the middle name. The first name I really can't, uh, about every time I've came up with has been shot down. Well, here's a question for you. Why would

it be so bad if your daughter was named after a stripper you used to date? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're not currently dating. It wasn't even a real name. It was a stage name. And over time, your memory of Carter, the stripper will fade and the memories of your daughter will replace them. And then occasionally you might, ah, I don't know that that's a good idea miles now that I'm thinking this out, now that I'm playing it out. So I think you're going to have to find either you're either going to have to just say you don't like it and stick to your guns or you're going to have to suggest a better name. You're going to have to fire open the Bible and start. She already chose Elizabeth for the middle name. I really like

the Sheba but she both Elizabeth and you can say we're going to do it with like two E's. So it's kind of different. Let me throw a Y in there. That's what people are doing these days. Yeah. But she bought., um, yeah, you, I don't want my daughter public school though. You don't want your daughter. What? Bullied in school though. Well, then don't name her Carter. Then don't name her Carter.

Yeah. It sounds like a stripper. Yeah. It sounds like a stripper name, you know, and, and yeah, just, this is what you're doing, dude, you're, you're taking the short and yeah, just this is what you're doing, dude. You're, you're taking the short term L for the longterm W you're telling her Carter sounds like a stripper name. You're, you're telling her that you're telling her to her. Now you got to sleep on the couch. That's fine. You don't want to sleep in the bed anyway, but in the longterm,

you're not going to have to walk your daughter down the aisle thinking about that stripper you were with him, Rochester, New York That'll be a distant memory and what's she gonna do? She's not gonna leave them over this No, you already got the kid. This is your second kid with seven months stage. There's no way she's gonna break up with you You can name. Yeah, hold your ground. You cannot let Carter go through you can't have your kid being baptized thinking about glitter You cannot have her, you know, walking down the aisle thinking about stilettos, you know? You gotta keep the lanes in your brains right,

and this one needs a dead end sign on it, okay? So don't extend this road. Does that make any sense? That that that makes sense. I just yeah, I'm stuck on finding a name and naming my son was a lot easier than then my daughter. That's for sure. So what's your son's name? It's tough for Kyle. He's a junior. Okay. Oh, well what's your wife's name or fiance? Ashley. Okay. Ashley junior. Boom. Done. See it just like that. Ashley junior. And that's different, dude. That's different. How many juniors do you know on the ladies side? Not a lot. I don't know any me either. And it's 2024. This is women's empowerment, you know,

to be the to take on your wife's name. Ashley Jr. Picture on that. AJ, you can call her AJ. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We found it. We found it. Yeah. Well, how many beers have you gotten through now that we've started talking? Oh, I'm just, I'm just drinking the one right here that I had when we started to slow down once he hit 20. I see. Well, yeah. Yeah. The kid, the kid gets off the bus at four o'clock my time. So I got to be somewhat sober when you get home. Okay. Yeah. Two hours should make all those 20 beers go through your system pretty quick. Maybe make some water. It's a water and maybe a liquid IV that should bring you right back to zero.

Some food need, need, need a lunch. Yeah. That also would help. Dan. I'm Dan. What are you up to, Dan? Not much. Hang it out.

You at work? Uh, no, I just got home from work. Where do you work at? Uh, I have a quality assurance. Dan, you're a man of few words. I'm going to tell you that what you said. You're what an insurance. Oh yeah. Take your time. Dan quality. Quality. Quality. Okay. So you're, I don't want to say it, but you, you're a little bit of a narc. Oh yeah, basically it's a glorified term for an auditor. Okay. Oh, quality assurance.

Yeah, not insurance. I thought he was, I thought he worked at quality insurance. I was like, how'd you come up with that name? Quality stuff. Cool, Dan. Well, hey man, belly up to the bar. Tell us what's on your mind guy. So I'm, I up to the bar. Tell us what's on your mind, guy. So I live in central Minnesota most of my life.

And I'm from up by Fargo-Moorhead and gone to Wisconsin a few times. And the road system there, what's up with the letters, Charlie? Oh, all right, listen. Okay, so you're you're, you're wondering why you're wondering why Wisconsin has letters for street names instead of numbers. I was, I was traveling in the country of south of Madison and these people were giving me

directions to get onto Jay and then turn on the cave. And then turn onto K, and then turn onto KK, and then turn back onto J. Oh. And it's like, why can't I just stay on J? All right now, Dan, just listen up here. So are you telling me you were trying to go from J to K to KK? And did they tell you to go back from J,

east on J and then north on K? Or did they say, or Dan, did they say go from J to K and then L and then O and then L which stands for just kidding LOL. Dan, I got you. I didn't even see that one coming. Yeah. Hey, boom. All right. So you're going to take the JK LOL route. And then when you get there, it's not the right spot. And then they're like, ha ha. And I'm waiting at the bar, you know, and just say JK LOL. Yeah. He's like, dude, I'm supposed to be at my at this funeral. I was like, ah, you're not going to make it.

Oh, thanks for calling. I'm just kidding, I'm kidding. Go ahead, complain more about Wisconsin, the greatest state in the world. Well, to be honest, Don't you? Wisconsin's only good for beer and fireworks. You shut the front door right now, Dan. Wisconsin just good for beer and fireworks?

Have you not caught a walleye in Wisconsin? Alright, well. Have you not had a... Hey, you riled up Charlie here. Let's do this rationally. What's better about Minnesota than Wisconsin? Oh, is this a Minnesota versus Wisconsin off? What's better about Minnesota than Wisconsin? Go. Well, I mean, I guess got Wisconsin Dells. But other than that. All right, Dan, they're about the same. Let me let me rephrase this. You are you are saying that Minnesota is a superior state than Wisconsin. Is that what you're coming on this podcast? No, I'm just saying the only two reasons why I go there is for beer and fireworks.

Yet. That's the only reason you go there yet. Or that's the only reason you go there still. So, okay. Well, do I need to elaborate on other reasons you need to go to Wisconsin? Or do you or have or have you seen enough of Wisconsin that you think Minnesota is a superior state? Well, maybe you said he's just getting lost. All the letter streets. And that kind of brings us back. So what what's the difference?

Why is it such a big deal to you that they're, if they use letters versus numbers? Well, I just don't, I just didn't understand the part like there to turn on to from J to K and then KK and then back onto J. So this is like a very specific one time the directions were confusing. Well, I mean in Dan's defense, there are a lot of letterings. But Dan, I'm personally confused now. I thought every state had letters.

No, not every state does that. No, you guys don't want to know. Is this what it's not? Just Wisconsin. Is it just Wisconsin? This is in the mid in the Midwest. Yeah, it might be. Well, you know what, Dan, I'll tell you this. Just Wisconsin? This is? In the mid-west, yeah. It might be. Well, you know what, Dan?

I'll tell you this. It's actually great for your memory, OK? First of all, everybody knows that letters are more memorable than numbers. So that's actually in the win category for Wisconsin. It just takes a little getting used to. OK, here's a question. If if letters aren't the the route right that he wants to go

the route or the route? Both. OK. Um, wait, let's propose something else. You can't go numbers because there's already all the numbers are already taken up because they use numbers in Wisconsin as well Don't they oh yeah, we do not discriminate when it comes to road Charlie in Wisconsin What else should roads be named after should it be pictures? Should it be like how many beers right so you're gonna take two three beers over to four five six beers?

You know what are you thinking? That's actually not, I feel, okay, hear me out, Dan. Hear me out. Could this be a solution to your problem? What if we had, you know, when you go into yourself, like you ever been to Chubbs in North Dakota? You ever been to Chubbs Pub over there in Fargo? If I did, I don't remember.

Well, it really doesn't matter, and that's a great answer, and it's probably true, but it doesn't matter. Any small town bar you go into, they got these beautiful lit up beer signs. And I think instead of 94 West, we should be taking Pabst Chubb's pub beer, you know, or we should be taken a Miller light road all the way. Name them after Speaker 0 5.50 Bush light. Yeah. There you go. Stuff like that. That'd be a good one.

But then the signs are just neon. The signs are neon. So, And the beer companies can, like you know how they had Miller Park, you know, because Miller was the advertiser for the brewers. The beer companies can, they can pave the roads, literally. They can sponsor a highway. Yeah, instead of adopting, they sponsor a highway and then they get the more they get more advertising and your roads are better quality because they're getting paid for by these companies. Yeah. Now, of course, they're going to have to write drink responsibly underneath because you don't want to be advertising highways and then encouraging people to. And honestly,

the highway system in Wisconsin should just be, the destination should always be the next bar. So it wouldn't be, it's like, Hey, this far until the next bar and you just have to jump from bar to bar. That's basically Wisconsin. Anyways, that is basically Wisconsin. Now I can already see the complications with the drinking and driving, but we're just spit ball in here. Dan. Right. What else could we use to mark the highways miles? I mean, pictures are always good pictures. Yeah. Oh, just, just instead of like the deer crossing signs, just that's, that's the deer freeway, the deer way. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you, we just market by the animals that

typically will cross. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So you're going to want to head, head down Turkey way. And, and then people are looking out for turkeys. Yeah. You know, and we could save money on signs as well. Then you don't need all the deer crossing signs. They'll just know because I'm on deer highway that I got to watch out for deer. That's true. Now I could see a complication. Oh yeah. I was over there on Turkey highway. Would you, I, you know, I hit two deer on Turkey highway. They really got to rename Turkey highway to deer deer road.

Yeah. It's like, uh, one of just turns into turducken turducken is you got turkeys, ducks and chickens walking across the road. You can just start combining them all. That's fun. And then like Thanksgiving. And then the possibilities are endless. I think we solve this problem right here, Dan. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm just saying I just, you had tell me to go on three different streets to get back on the first street. He doesn't care about any of this. No, he just wants you to fix this one section of Wisconsin.

Well, it's actually a couple of sections. So if you go to the driftless region or you go like up north, you know, when you get into those country roads where they're like, you know, they're like, ah, you know, let's try letters here. And that's kind of what you get. And it gets complicated cause there's, there's like, there is actually a road that's O and P and E and with the different arrows and it says, Ope.

Isn't that fun? That is something. Cause it smells Ope. That should be a hat. I have another question. Oh, changing the subject. Yeah, please Well, no, no, I want I went through Green Bay up to going towards the UP. Yeah, and Are all those small pound bars are they were legally required to have an old style or a Pat's blue red inside hanging?

above the door Or blats. You know, that comes from a time, Dan, if you're really interested in the history on this, that comes from the time where every time back in the day, beers would, beer companies and distributors and whatnot, they would bribe the bar. Still do

this. You see umbrellas that are of a certain beer variety. That's somebody who went in there and was like, hey, I'm going to get you some umbrellas if you put this behind the bar. So what you're seeing is back in the day, that beer company bribed that bar, said we'll give you a free sign if if you do that and that's how that that's where that came from they're like we'll even put your name in neon you know so you can tell you can't pass that up either if you're the bar no neon free neon free regular hang because I know the hanging light you know it's like off the side of the bar and I like sways in the wind yeah

you know I'm talking about those are the ones you're talking about, right, Dan? Yeah. Yeah. No one can pass. Probably from the 70s. 70s, 60s of that vintage. Yeah. Yeah. It was called Freon back then, Free Neon. And it will line the bars and then you walk inside that bar

and you'll see a lot more Freon. And it was criminalized at one point, just for a brief stint in the 80s, but it came back pretty strong and you see a lot of Freon out there now. Bar signs are expensive, Dan. While we're on the subject of beer and stuff like that, take note that Ham's It was a Minnesota beer first.

Yeah, yeah it was. and then where'd it go? Wisconsin. Yeah it did. Hey Dan have you ever put a hams in a ham like you know chicken turkey butt chicken you ever do that with a ham and a hams? It's good. I don't like ham. chicken, you ever do that with a ham and a hams? It's good. I don't like ham. Well, you've heard of this thing we call ham, right? And other people in your family may like ham. So maybe next Christmas you'll think about them.

Dan, cripes. Dan, I like you a lot. I like anyone that can get Charlie all riled up. So I appreciate you calling in today. Yeah, this is great. I you know what? Thank you guys. I'm I'm I know you're making fun of me and everything. I'm having a good time just laughing. Dan, I'm

Dan, don't project here. Don't turn the tables on me, guy. I'm wise to this. You've been you called this podcast to make fun of Wisconsin. What am I supposed to do? Let that stand just because we watched a little bit too much Sesame street and said, Oh, you know, today's highways sponsored by the letter a what you know what Dan, why don't you they should sponsor more roads with AA. There should be two ways. And that's that's actually accurate. But, Dan, I I apologize in advance for this, but I want you to get on road

a and then take a right on SS and get your ass out of Wisconsin. OK. And yeah, you know where that is? Glad to Lake Superior. All right. So I hope you're driving a duck boat. Golly. Speaking of which, Wisconsin Dalles has a great duck boat tour, which is another thing you can do when you're getting your fricking fireworks, Dan. Boom.

I've done it. Yeah. I've already been on a duck boat tour. Damn it. You should go again and enjoy it this time Dan. Well Dan, I thank you for thoroughly getting Charlie all riled up. That is one of my life's. I don't even know if you guys are going to use this, but whatever.

Oh no, we're using it Dan. We're using it. That ass joke was pretty money. Okay. So that, that might close out a little video, all right? All right, I'm cool with that. All right, man. Well, thanks for calling in and you have a good one.

Watch out for deer. Yeah, you as well. Watch out for deer on Highway I-40 deer. Yeah, on Turkey Road. Turkey Road, yeah. Have a good one. See you, Dan. on Turkey Road. Turkey Road. Yeah. Yeah. I have a good one. Yeah. See you Dan. Yeah. Later, guys. It's it seemed like he had one mission, Charlie. And I think he accomplished. He accomplished it. You got to take a deep breath. Excuse me. Oh, now I feel better. Now I feel better. That was just a burp. See, I'm like a baby. I'm happy now. I had like gas pain. I called Dan back up. I was rude to him. I

was just trying to pass that man. Oh man. Dan, the man miles. I hope your son don't grow up to be like Dan. I'm going to say that right now. Folks, it is starting to get so hot out. Jared is getting pretty hot, really hot. And I tell is starting to get so hot out. Jared, it's getting pretty hot. Really hot. And I tell you what, to beat the heat this summer, the best way to do it is to pick up a bottle of Tippy Cow, pour it on up, sip it on back, and just cool off with, I got the vanilla today, and I tell you what, Jared,

just tastes like I'm drinking a big bowl of ice cream. Very much like ice cream. Right? It's like, what do I like to do when it's hot out? Eat cold stuff and drink cold stuff. Why don't I do both in one glass? And that's what this Tippie Gao vanilla tastes like. I am drinking an ice cold bowl of ice cream, but with also alcohol in it.

And I just don't think it gets much better than that. So guys, if you want to cool off this summer because it's hot, pick up some tippy cow. You can't go wrong. Tip it on back with tippy cow. Charlie. Hi. Are you injured or no? Oh, I've had a few injuries in my day miles well I tell you what Nikola's got your Nikola laws got your back I love it when you tell me what miles cuz that's reassuring not only do they have your back they got my front too they're gonna help you with your back are they money for that you got going on they're not your average law firm Charlie. They're not no But they are just regular folks dedicated to giving getting you what you deserve

Average folks working at an above-average law firm. I like that. Yeah, yeah average folks make it So why what are you waiting for Charlie? Why don't you give Nicolay law a call and make it right. All right. Give me your phone. Cause I, I don't, um, one eight five five nickel a silent T at the end. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty cool. Just got done with work, uh, heading down to a wedding here in a couple of hours. So the weekend has begun. Let me tell you. Yeah, your vibes are great.

Yeah, seriously. What day is today? It's Wednesday. You got a... Well, heading to a wedding down in South Bend, Indiana. South Bend, Indiana. Nice. Where are you driving from? South Bend is, that's where Notre Dame's at, right? at right yeah Rudy it's also where the college football Hall of Fame is a

college football Hall of Fame no sort of you and you would know miles cuz you're in it right from your yeah maybe the not so college football Hall of Fame. That's the D three football. I was D two. Oh, OK. All right. All right. Could have fooled me. So well, but that's the way weddings are going these days. They're starting on Mondays with the pre welcome dinner. Then they have a welcome dinner.

Then they have a we're just settling in dinner. Then they have the pre grooms dinner. Then they have the grooms dinner. Then they actually have the wedding dinner on Saturday. It's kind of how I see it going these days, Charlie. Yeah, there's also the dinner after you do the rehearsal for the wedding, which nobody pays attention to and everybody forgets. So where are you driving there from?

So unfortunately, I'm not making the road trip. I'm actually flying in. I'm flying in from Portsmouth, Virginia. I'm in the Coast Guard. So I'm stationed here. Ah, me and the boys are coming from all across the country and we're, uh, we're combining one epic force. Lots of Bush latte is what we put down. So it'd be good. You sounded excited. My guy. He's for you. But everyone knows that feeling though, when you're about to go and bark on a trip where it's strictly just to have fun. God, that sounds great. That's fantastic. So yeah. What do you got on your mind? Right now? Well, so we're coming

up on summer season over here, right? And we're right by the beach and me, I'm from Omaha, Nebraska. So, um, I don't know, still kind of getting to know the whole beach, go in the ocean kind of thing. And every time we go to the beach, I get made up fun of by all my friends. They say, Joseph, you look like a tourist, stop doing that. You look like a tourist. You look like you're not from here. I go, guys, I'm not from here. We don't have a lot of beaches in Omaha, Nebraska, you know? So I'm just looking for some advice on how I can fit in a little better, you know? What Midwest things I can bring to the beach,

what you think would fit in, and your guys' experience going to the beach if you've been there, what I can do to fit in or stand out, you know? Let them know, hey, I'm from the Midwest, I'm not from around here. Okay. We can throw a little input there.

First of all, I have been landlocked my entire life. So I don't, I'll do my best, but Charlie at least lives in Milwaukee on the lake at least. I'm on the West coast. But before we dive into it, I gotta ask, how does someone from Omaha, Nebraska end up in the Coast Guard?

Well, I was at a college fair and I was looking at going to the Naval Academy and Coast Guard Academy there. I didn't even know what Coast Guard Academy was. And I was looking at all the pictures and honestly, the Coast Guard just had some really sick pictures. And I said, you know what? That looks kind of fun. I can probably do the beach.

I'd seen the ocean twice in my whole life and here I am. So yeah. And that's how I thought it might have gone down. And when you said you're looking like a tourist on the beach, what are you doing? You know, I don't know. I go and I run, jumped into the wave, went back to shore. I'm just constantly sunburned. Um, usually got a good farmer's tan on me. Yeah. Um, Yeah. Hey, hey, take your shirt off. We're at the beach. You're like, my shirt is off. So Charlie, do you got any advice

for her? I like to talk. I like to talk to the people next to us, you know, that good hospitality and all my friends like me and Joseph, you don't know them. You don't know them, I say, but we could. Yeah, you don't know them yet. You're just getting there. Well, I think the deal is you gotta treat, here's how you treat the ocean. I don't know how to set this up, but. Say it again.

All right. Here's how you gotta treat the ocean as someone from the Midwest. You got to treat the ocean like a pontoon boat. Okay, I'm sure you're familiar with, I'm sure you got a friend who's got a pontoon boat somewhere. You come there with a cooler packed.

Okay, you come there with the SPF rocking and rolling and you make sure you find yourself some shade. Okay, all right. So those are the first ones off the top of the dome that are coming to me. All right, and do not collide on that sunscreen, all right, especially if you look like you got a t-shirt on. What's your preferred SPF, Charlie?

Are you a 30 guy, are you a 100 guy? Thanks for asking, I should be a 100 guy. I'm usually a 50 kind of fella and I'm reapplying. OK, you want to get that waterproof stuff. All right. You know, Miles, Miles, what are you rocking? So I always start with 30, then I get burnt, then I got to ramp it up to 55 plus. You know, it's just one of those deals where I think I'm, you know,

oh, this is going to be different. Suddenly my skin's going to be able to handle some sun. I only need 30. Yeah. And then it just turns out I got to go to 50 plus start off big on your, on your first day, be in the fifties minimum. Second day after your body is somewhat accustomed to it. You can do thirties, but you got to reapply quite a bit.

OK, the important thing to this, though, is bring a full cooler to the beach. That should smooth over any of your touristy tendencies. Perfect. What's good? I'll tell you what, I got a Yeti ready for it. We're good to go. Yeah. How's the Coast Guard, Ben? What's that? What's the craziest thing you've seen off the coast?

Coast guard has been pretty great. Craziest thing. So we actually got back control, catching drug runners. They're they're running drugs on the ocean. You know, they got four outboards and just cruising along under bales of cocaine. And you actually bring a helicopter with us with a with a 50 cal in it. And they fly up on the boat

and we say hey stop with a coast guard and usually they don't stop and So we shoot out their engines with the 50 cal So you guys are that kind of a shot you can shoot a couple engines out from the helicopter, I mean that's pretty awesome It's pretty bad. They're in the Coast Guard. Well, I know. I guess, what was I expecting? Now, are you the guy gunning, or are you flying the helicopter?

Nah, unfortunately I'm neither. I'm the engineer on the ship, so I'm down in the engine room making sure everything's running all right. Got it. Okay, I mean, that's still pretty cool. How do you get to be the guy who's talking to the dudes in the boat, who's announcing yourself?

Like, hey, we're the Coast Guard. Do you then say, hey, we're going to shoot out your engines? Do they know it's coming? Yeah. We shoot, we go over the intercom system, we're like, hey, we're the Coast Guard. Stop your vessel. Stop your vessel. And they don't stop, for usual. And then they'll try and like do evasive maneuvers

and get away from us, but it's a helicopter. You're not gonna get away from me, I don't know. Where are you gonna go? And then we'll take our machine, exactly, like we're above you, you're not going anywhere. Then we take the machine gun and we shoot some warning shots in front of them. They're going like 30 knots, or I have to stress that, 50 knots, and we're shooting machine gun and we shoot some warning shots in front of them. They're going like 30 knots or I've been pressing that 50 knots and we're

shooting machine gun shots in front of them, which is the universal warning sign. Like, Hey, stop. If someone is shooting in front of me, I would stop. And then they still don't stop usually. So then we, uh, we shoot their engines and then they say, Oh shoot, they're shooting at us. Okay. We'll stop now.

Do they even jump over? Usually at that point the engines get blown a bit. Not usually they do try and throw the drugs overboard thinking that, Oh, if we don't have any drugs on board, we're not bad. But yeah, do they sink? So now the drugs all flow. Well, why wouldn't it? Okay. We'll see out in the ocean. Go ahead. Go. I was just going to say, well, why don't they just like put some bricks attached to it? So then they sink. Yeah.

They probably weren't planning on getting clipped. You know, carry carry a case of bricks a bit too, just to help you think the cocaine. So you shoot them up, they toss the coke overboard and they've got just a bunch of cocaine bobbers out there. There's a bunch of cocaine boggers. But then the issue is me being on the ship. I gotta, we gotta take that cocaine and in as evidence. And so this cocaine aid is daily cocaine way, like 60 pound each.

So you got 60 pound bales and cocaine, and then they throw them in the water. So now they're soaking wet. So you're soaking wet. Usually this all happens at 2 AM too. So you're already a little grumpy cause it's 2 AM got woken up. You're listed 60 pounds of cocaine that's soaking wet. Now you're soaking wet and usually it'll have like 50 on board. So you're, you're listening.

I don't, I don't know that math, but 50, 60 pound bales. And then you'll get that. You'll be doing that for like a week straight. So yeah, lots of late nights on the old, uh, the old open ocean. I'm late nights with just pulling 60 pound bales of Coke. But I imagine you guys are pretty energetic on that. I wouldn't button pretty good, but We get a lot of shit done though. Where are these boats typically coming from?

They're typically coming from South America. And what kind of a boat are we talking about? I don't know though. I don't know. Oh, they're little. I mean, not little. They're 26 footers. They're called penguins.

They're super, they're super low in the water and they'll put like three or four outboards on them and it'll be the two guys, the four outboard engines, they'll go gain and then just barrels on barrels of diesel or gasoline and they're just ripping through the water. So yeah, we didn't have ripping through the water. Yeah. So we didn't have a helicopter a lot of times. Like we're not going to catch them because they're way faster than what we have. So how do you know that they got drugs?

Like, wait, what's your, like, how do you know? The cocaine, you can see it. Like it just bails on bails of cocaine. So you basically just have people constantly watching for these types of boats is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. So we get intel and then we'll like sit in a certain spot where we know what the classic running routes are. And then literally our load tower will be like, oh, we see one or we'll have a, we'll have a plane up with a camera and they'll see them, but it's really fun when the lookout spots them play. Oh, that guy's about to have a bad day.

That's the most Midwest way to announce a Coke runner. Oh, see some Coke. Oh, we got a Coke boat. Yeah. Geez. Okay. So, but if, so you're saying that if Charlie Barons and I took a trip down to, you know, maybe Columbia, South, South America, and we bought ourselves a nice little pontoon and we, we threw the life jackets overboard and we, you know, maybe filled the seats with some sort of a substance and started making our way. Yeah. Baking powder. And we started making our way back up to the U S would you, would you think Charlie and I drinking beer? Maybe I got my Tommy Bahama shirt on. Uh, Charlie's, uh, got his orange life jacket on. You see us come running through your, your route and

channel on a pontoon and we gave you a big wave and actually want to come over and chit chat. I actually think we would throw you guys off the scent pretty good. Yeah. Would you guys know that? Or do you have like a coke sniffing alligator in the water? I mean, I think, I think we, we gladly have you over, you know, check you out, make sure you got, make sure you got enough beer and enough sunscreen and uh, check out your bales and send you on your way, you know? Okay. So upon tune though, upon tune miles, if we took a pontoon from Columbia, do you know how long that journey would take? First of all,

the ocean would topple us. Yeah, we've done in three minutes Oh, that was your joke. Yeah. Oh just got it super funny Yeah, so is a plane a better way to go for the drug runners? Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, plane. There you go. You got it. Plane. I've watched a lot of narcos and narcos, Mexico on Netflix. I'm going to be honest. That show made it seem like the drug runners are winning right now. So how do you feel about the war on drugs in the battle? The never ending battle with these guys? How are you? How do you feel about it?

I'm going to be honest. Yeah, they're definitely winning. We we don't get all of it. I'll be honest. Absolutely not. What? You guys aren't stopping all of the drugs coming into the US. I know that's part of the business plan, though. They just send a bunch a bunch over knowing that half of them will get caught. But then the other half pays for all of it.

That's why Coke's so expensive. Really, it's probably just us in America. We keep paying your taxes and we'll keep doing our best. I like that. I like that. Hey, they had us in the first half, but this second half is going to be different. You know, so what, um, do you, do you think, what do you think it is? Do you think, uh, who's more at fault, them bringing it over here or us demanding it here, who's more at fault?

You know, it's a real issue of supply and demand without the supply. You don't have the demand, but without the demand, you don't fly without the fly. You don't have the men, you know, I don't know. Well, back and forth, have you been diving into the evidence chamber on the boat? What was that? Listen, listen, listen. Yeah. Quality control. You know, we gotta make, gotta make sure we got the right stuff. Yeah. You are going, you are super excited for this wedding this week. That's why he got invited. He's not driving this out, Ben. He's walking. Yeah. Because he said that airplanes are the best way to do it. He would never go there by boat. So fast. All about the fly in the man. Well, this has

been great, man. I'm excited for, I'm excited that you got a big wedding weekend. This has been very informational. Actually. I've got a thousand more questions, but we should probably let you go. Yeah. We're looking at pontoons on this side of the horn right now. Yeah. I got a nice one with like seven. We're going to need a lot of compartments, Charlie. Yeah. This one's got seven diesel. I was going to say, make sure you can't see them from the air, you know, so make sure they're hidden, you know, do you know, actually a great in this is that you can, you and the Coast Guard can take this and put it in your handbook

because I just thought of a great place to smuggle drugs on a boat. So you take, you know, if you got the coolers that have the big insulation foam ones, you just cut that off, you take out all the insulation foam on the inside, not in the cooler, but in between the two walls of the cooler the coke is your insulator It's the insulator and then you just patch it back up and I bet that'd be a pretty good spot to smuggle it

So you guys could take that tip. Yeah, and make sure you're checking those coolers Yeah, make sure on every boat you bring that alligator on and have them do the the little swim around Do well canal You bring that alligator on and have them do the little swim around. Do you can out that method was so 2019. What's really way beyond that one? What's the craziest way you've seen someone hide coke? Hide coke. Yeah. Underneath a bunch of like they had there were a fishing boat and they had a fishing, like it was full of ice and fish and it smelled horrible.

And it's just, we were like, Oh, it's probably just a fishing boat. We can't find drugs anywhere. Like we've been looking, but they're super suspicious. I don't know if someone's gonna have to go in there and check the fishing hold and someone goes in there and they're digging through like two feet of fish and ice and boom drugs underneath. Wow. But it was disgusting. It was just so gross. Just like nasty spig, because fishing boats are not clean. No, have you ever found them? It was nasty. They were so high.

You ever find them inside? Yeah, they've done that. I I personally haven't, but uh, yeah, it's a method they use. Yeah, that's where I would go next. I think if they if you guys are onto my cooler trick. Not that I would ever do this. No, no. Oh, of course, of course not. No, no, no. Yeah. All right.

Drug runners listening to this, listening to this podcast. There you go. You're getting them. Yeah, they're listening to it. And there's like they're I got their list of ways they're going to smuggle it. And they're like, damn it. And you've got to cross that one off the list now. We are the most listened to podcast by Colombian drug runners. We're really popular in Colombia.

What's going on with that? Well, thanks for the intel there, fella. And I hope you have a great wedding this weekend. Hopefully it lasts for the happy couple. Yeah. All right. Well, you really appreciate it. It's been a dream. I'd be on this podcast. So, oh, man. Hey, it's been a dream of ours to finally get you on this. No, actually, talking drug running is like,

I love that whole world and figuring out what's going on with it. So this is a dream for me too. I can tell, that's why you wore a white t-shirt for this one. Yeah, I'm, yeah, that was great. So I really appreciate it. Yeah, well take care and enjoy the heck out of it. All right, thank you for calling in

Well, do make sure you tell the folks that says hi. All right, watch out for deer down there in South Bend We'll see you soon. You're talking from Alex from Chicago Alex from Chicago. Are you bears fan Alex? Oh, I sure am you asked my brother the same question a few weeks ago When he called about his engagement. Oh Tell your brother we says hi, by the way. Was he the one that? Sounds good to me. Was he the one that wants to live in Wisconsin

but he has to live in Illinois? Is that, am I remembering that correctly? No, he's the one who wasn't sure about when he should get engaged because of the whole fact that I just got engaged. That's right. You're the twin. I am the twin. You got me. Dude, wait a fair. Did you know you were going to mess his freaking life up doing what you did? Oh, you know, it's all part of the plan when you're a twin. Honestly, it's just a constant state of competition and I just seem to be winning. Yeah. So you guys going to do a two for one deal or no, you know,

I didn't think that was a bad idea. I'm not going to lie. He wasn't lying when he said it was a really expensive wedding. So I was all about it. But as you said, the fiancees aren't on board with that one. And we should quickly tell the audience what happened. His brother called up their twins. His brother was dating his fiance for longer than you were dating your Fiance and then you went ahead and you asked her to marry Yeah before your brother Got a chance to do it and that made his fiance a little upset. I think that's the that's the recap I recall

Yeah, yeah Well, is that what you wanna talk about today? Belly on up to the bar. Let's hear what's on your mind. We're not gonna assume that you are calling up for the same thing your twin brother is. That would be inappropriate of us. We know better here.

No, and I'll try and make it as quick as I can because I'm a teacher, I'm on my lunch break, and I don't have a ton of time, but essentially, I have a coworker who side hustles and makes a little bit of extra money as a, as a dominatrix, which is an interesting kind of side field, I suppose to be in education. And I don't know, I guess I'm just wondering a little bit about the profession and why somebody would get into that. And I don't know how to approach him about that. And I have a conversation. It seems a little awkward.

Why do you assume we would know about this? Well, first of all, I do know about this. So you called the right place now. Well, unpacked a teacher, a teacher moonlighting as a dominatrix. And this is a male teacher or a female, not that it matters. You male teacher, male teacher. Okay.

Dom a matrix. Nice email. Email. Oh, she's a female. Correct. Okay. Cool. Man.

He's about 50 years old. Yeah. Get it, dude. And is she an independent contractor or is she, you know, does she have like, she's part of a corporation. Yeah. You know, I think she's independently higher. Good for her. Good for her. So how, how did you find this out? He dialed a number and guess who came over along the line.

Let's keep it secret around the office and everything, but she's kind of told everybody about it. Okay. All right. Well, smart. One of those keep it secret, but I'm going to tell a lot of people about this secret. Oh yeah. I mean, smart though. She's just doing marketing. You never know. You never know who could be a potential client. So the Dama Matrix, for those of you who are not familiar, it's these folks who can be hired to, you know, just kind of dominate you in the, um, what kind of dominating? Well, it could be anything like whips could be involved. There could be a little gag situation there. Um, and look, I'm not into it. I'm

going to tell you, I'm not personally into it, but I've read a few articles on Wikipedia about it. So my only experience with this is the show Billions on Showtime. Yeah. One of the main characters is into it. So there's a lot of scenes with that. So, yeah, it's just these powerful fellows. Typically, historically speaking, powerful women, too. I'm sure it works the same. But basically they tell, you know, they dominate in their actual lives. So in their, you know, bedroom behind the scenes lives, they it is their actual lives. So in their bedroom behind the scenes lives,

it is their kink to be dominated, and kind of told what to do, and embarrassed and all that sort of stuff. I think, I think. I think you got the gist. Yeah, I'm actually not an expert at all. I just read an article at one point and was kind of fascinated by it.

But, ah. Okay, so. What's the problem? Yeah, what's the problem? Yeah. What's the problem? I don't know how to approach her about the situation. I'm sure like, I don't think I would do it myself. I'm just curious about the profession and what it entails. And I'm trying to come up with like a way to approach to find out a little bit more about it. What she does, what the job entails. I mean, I guess I wouldn't ask about who her clients are, but just seems like an interesting thing that maybe asked her how she got involved in it and things like that. I don't know the right way of approaching that. So here's, you could almost take a professional approach with this. So I know a lot of times

that there are teacher workshops that schools will do where, you know, you actually have the kids have a day off of school because teachers are in a workshop. Yeah. Yeah. You guys could take a day and do a little dominatrix workshop professional development. Yes. And it'd be, and you can pitch this to the principal that this is purely educational and you guys are just trying to become better teachers by understanding the world better. Yeah. And then one, you guys can get paid to learn about it and she can earn some more money on the side by getting paid by the school district to do this workshop. That would not find its way on the right wing radio at all. That that is pretty wild. God, what do you think that would fly? You know, it might be hard to get past the board of

education. Yeah. Well, you know what? I will. Another option. I would say I do like Miles, another option is you could kind of write a note on her deal, say I'm gonna come pick me up at this bar. And then you get the first experience, the first person experience, the POV experience of what goes on. Are you into that? Oh no, you've got a-

Like a ride along? Sorry. Yeah, you could do a ride along. Or a shadow situation. You could shadow her on one of her trips. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we're talking almost like student teaching again.

Yeah, you could student teach. You could- Student teaching, yeah. Yeah. You're the TA. Get it, TA? student teach you could student teaching. Yeah. Yeah. You're the T. A. Ha. Got it. T. A. Yeah. Yeah. You could do some student teaching and you just do all the stuff that she doesn't really like to do. You know, you could untangle, you could untangle the ropes. You know, he's a whip wrangler. Yeah. He can oil up all the leather whips.

Yeah, there you go. Keep maintain all that stuff. You're the Robin do her Batman. Oh, that might not be a bad side gig either. No, not at all. Now I have to ask you. Do you think she'd be willing to split the money? Well, not split it.

You just get a percentage of it. You're a TA, fella. You're asking me to do the dirty work here. I got to clean up. Yeah, that's how everyone starts. You want to get in the game? You don't get in on top, dude. You know, you're getting coffee and cleaning up something else.

It starts with a C. Um, and. What cream? Um, so, you know, whatever, uh, you gotta get in the way. Hey, I need you to run to the candle store before this session. Don't forget the matches this time. Write it off on my back. Yeah. Yeah. Don't don't think you can just come into this game at the top. OK. You come in at the level you're coming

in on. No, I do have a question, though. Do you have interest in getting into this field yourself? Oh, no, I know. I don't personally have interest in it. I feel like it's a little too risky for me. But let's say it weren't risky.

Let's say there was no risk. Let's say nobody. I think you figure how. Huh? How do you figure? I mean, there's no risk. Let's say in a world where there's no risk, would you have any interest in doing this?

You know, I don't think that's really a my alley. It makes me kind of think it's hippie cow a little bit, a little bit more. But you might be the prime candidate to be in the industry considering that you're not into it because it's kind of like a, you want someone to be king who doesn't want to be king. That means they're going to make the right decisions. Exactly. You won't get drunk on the power. Yeah. And not getting high on your own supply, you know, kind of the same thing there too. You know, you got someone who can be removed, who knows the game, knows how

to execute, but treats this as a job, not as their own personal kink. What is your kink? Oh God. Oh no. If I have one. Oh, come on. Everyone's got one. Hey, everyone's got one. You just haven't found it yet. You know? So yeah, there we go. So what is it? You seem very curious about it to say the least. What, what are some questions that go on in your head when you hear about it? How does one even get involved in that in the first place? Well, I think it's a word of mouth and how much money, damn it.

Oh, you're making money, dude. You're rolling in it. You're dealing with a lot. Oftentimes the richest fellas in the game, you know, rich, a lot of money. Yeah. I mean, and look, it's not undo. Uh, there's a lot of time and effort that's gone into preparing it. You know, you are you are an actor going on stage. You know, you cannot break character

and you oftentimes will break whips. And those are expensive. So yeah, it's expensive, but there's a lot of costs that goes into it. You're not just paying for the night. You're paying for the wealth of experience that these Dama matrixes have. So no, I see. So is there, and this is a question for you, is there like a ethical thing with being a teacher and doing this on the side or they can't really do anything about it because it's outside of work? Like, is there a concern that there's like a job in jeopardy for doing this on the side or no? I don't know how it works. This would kind of be my final thought just because I have clash in about two minutes. But yeah, I think that if you're caught under that, that could probably be a whole moral

thing to go up against the board. And then I guess you're kind of facing a job jeopardy. Well, it's really good that you aired this out on a podcast. Many people will listen to to put this person's job in jeopardy. No, we didn't say any names. We didn't say names. There's ton of dominant tricks that are teachers and not only fans, you know, it's fine. It's fine. No one's gonna know, right? All right, well, I'll be sure to let the principal know that this should become some professional development and we'll see what we can't do about it.

Yeah, steer into the skid, you know? Gotcha. All right, fellas, well, thanks so much. I gotta go to teach a class now. Tell your brother we says hi, all right? I shall, thanks so much. I got to go to teach a class now. Tell your brother we says hi. All right. I shall. Thanks so much. Bye bye now. You know, now did I wake up this morning, Charlie, thinking I was going to be talking about this on the podcast? No,

but you never know what you're going to get. Not a podcast like a box of chocolates. It is. And sometimes there's a whip in that box of chocolates. Ball game would have been funnier thing to say. Yeah, yeah. I don't. I was lying. I don't know anything about that. I mean, yeah, we could tell. I've seen them on TV.

No, like like literally the show billions. It's like the first scene of the entire show. And that that might be actually my last interaction with the damma matrix. Oh, no, there's some other thing. Oh, is that where maybe that is it? There was some other succession. Is there a Dama matrix in that? I don't know. I don't think so. That's probably why I said only rich people do it. I just saw a billion. Yeah. Good, good guy. Yeah. God. Can you, I can't imagine the gossip going on in that teacher's lounge. Oh yeah. Just sipping on diet Cokes, just gossiping about it. Can't imagine man. Yeah. I did. I don't even know if they do the, if they go all the way. I just think that they just kind of humiliate them. Like I don't even know if there's,

you know, P in the V. Why don't you do some research, Charlie, get back to us. I don't want to do work, dude. I don't want to work. You guys, I'm just saying next time you're, uh, hanging out by yourself, just venture into that part of the internet. You know? Yeah. No, don't skip that part. So my name is Kat and I have a question about traveling with Wisconsin cheese. Traveling with Wisconsin cheese. Belly up and tell us about it. Yeah. What do you got here? What's the question? OK, here's my situation. I am about to travel across the country and several of my friends have

requested cheese from the lovely state of Wisconsin. And I want to know which they are smart. I want to know what y'all's recommendation is of what cheeses I should pick out and like any safety warnings about like traveling with it. Okay. Well, I like freeze it first cheese as Charlie is. So I got to defer to Charlie on this one here. Yeah. So, um, first of all, you said y'all. So where, where are you from? I caught that as well. Um, I work with a lot of different people who use a lot of different pronouns. So y'all is a really great coverall. I'm from North Dakota. I'm not as well adverse in cheese

as Charlie is. So y'all is a really great coverall. I'm from Minnesota, but it's more of, I was like, it's very gender neutral. Everyone's happy. So I use that a lot. You got y'all. Okay. So good deal. All right. So what I would say, first of all, is the cheese is you're going to want to pick. I would go Colby. Okay. And then Cheddar. You got to get Cheddar Swiss mozzarella, Gouda Pepper Jack. I love Pepper Jack. Pepper Jack is great. Yeah. And these are just for your starters. And look, we can even dive down to the wormhole of the types of cheeses. But I think you get a little smorgasbord like that. You know, you're going to be doing fine in terms of transporting them. I think just like a simple cooler with some cold beers

in it and then put the cheese in there and then make sure it's a cooler that's, you know, got a decent amount of insulation in the deal. And even if it's just one of those styrofoam coolers that, you know, someone sent you a gift once for Christmas and you still have it hanging in the back room next to the box of boxes, pull that out, put some beers in there, put some cheese in there, and that is going to be your easiest, most reliable transportation method. You don't necessarily want to put a bunch of ice in there, put some cheese in there. And that is going to be your easiest, most reliable, most reliable transportation method. You don't necessarily want to put a bunch of ice in there because that ice can melt. And then you got a kind of a mess with the cheese and stuff. So use one of those, uh, the kids bring their in their lunch box, the little ice pack. Oh yeah. If you got some ice packs, that's good. And there is some cheese that doesn't do well being cold or whatever.

And I'm not I'm not like a cheese aficionado. I just know the cheese is I know, you know, and so you basically just listed off the most popular cheeses today. Yeah, basically. Don't call me out. I'm surprised you didn't say to bring like the Mexican blend cheeses as well. Wow. I you know what? I'm feeling very offended by that. I don't I don't want to add to Miles's trolling. You also kind of missed out on saying that you were you weren't a cheese whiz.

Oh, that would have been awesome. That would have been great. Hey, speaking of which, I do realize that I did forget some the most important cheese thing. You've got to get cheese curds and you've got a bay. Where in Wisconsin are you planning on doing this? I'm going to be leaving from the Milwaukee airport and I was going to ask, am I a sinner

if I pick up the cheese from the airport or do I got to go somewhere local? Wait, say that one more time. She's a sinner. If you're, are you a sinner? Oh, are you a sinner if you buy cheese from the airport? Yes. Yeah. If I like do it there instead of like going to a local store and I like a bad person.

You're not a bad person. You're just a person who prefers convenience over anything else, which is not bad, but I will say you should not get your cheese curds from the airport. You should find some dude in cut a hay selling them out of a cooler off the side of the road because that's where your squeaky cheese curds are going to be. Okay. So yes, I was waiting to interject here. If you're people who aren't in Wisconsin, they want the cheese, all that you've got to bring some squeaky cheese curds just to blow their mind. As soon as a cheese curds squeaks in your mouth, like if it sounds like you're chewing on a live mouse, that's what you want. And you're not going to get that if you buy it out of out of the freezer.

You got to get that fresh from the cow over the past few days. And and really, at that point, it's like transporting an organ. You've got just a certain amount of time from from cow to mouth. Yeah, you better pray and be good before this this because you got to hope there's no delays. Yeah. In that airport of yours or otherwise it could be disastrous. Yeah. And by the way, by the way, Wisconsin makes all cheeses amazing. So just because I listed off the most basic ones, I'm sorry. I'm a basic guy still offended by understand miles just ruined miles just ruined top gun for me. So we've been fighting. Okay. And so him bringing up this all you just listed

off the basic cheese things to a guy from Wisconsin. I'm not in the mood for it. Okay. So, uh, so I'm sorry that his hostile hostility is carrying over from a caller previous. Yeah. We're not supposed to let other callers bleed into new callers. So I apologize for that. But I'm just having to do you know how Top Gun ends? Because I do. Anyway, the most important thing is get those squeaky cheese curds. Make sure there's no flight delays and make sure your friends are answering

their cell phones when you land. And by the way, they should be picking you up from that airport. So yeah, so she's going, she's flying. So she can't bring a styrofoam. Sure. You can check it. You can. Can you? Well, then T the problem is TSA as the ability to look inside that. And I do not trust TSA did not say not Milwaukee. Yeah, they're going to take those. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I remember the very first time that I heard a cheese curd squeak. Do you? I do. Where were you? I was in Wisconsin, Dell's area and it was a magical moment. I could not believe the squeak. I did. I didn't believe it at first. And so make sure you get those cause

your friends, they're going to, their minds are going to be blown by hearing this, the squeaky cheese curd. Yeah. It is a once in a lifetime experience. The first time it's like, where were you when JFK got shot? Where were you on nine 11? Where were you when you had your first cheesy or squeaky curd? Yeah, those are the three. Yeah, those are the three. Well said, Miles. Well, I did book I did book South Southwest. I get two free bags, so I guess my second bag.

Well, that's what I was going to say. He's curd. Yes. Yeah. You got to bring one for your clothes and one for curds. And by the way, oh, by the way, I'm glad I'm glad you clarified this. Say you're flying. Do not put beers in there to keep them cold. Those will explode. And then you're in a world of you a world of hurt right there. Are you speaking from personal experience?

Yes. Yes, I am. Yeah. Well, that'll happen, Charles. Yeah, I'm trying to like, get on his good side again after the whole Top Gun debacle. Yeah, that was great advice, man. Yeah, it was awesome. Keep going. Well, you have a follow up. Yeah, the beers, the beers, get some of those cooler things and put those in the suitcase and then go into the airport and talk to Gator. Gotcha. Yes. Yup. Perfect. We are here for that kind

of advice. Now you, you know, uh, you, you did not have to chug the beers. Uh, that, that is your own, uh, doing. We would have recommended just, you know, purchase some, no chug them. They're expensive at the airport. You're doing good. You're there's no clarifications. No edits here. People aren't talking enough about tailgating for the airport. You know what? Go, go to the longterm parking. Yeah. You set up shop about four hours before your flight. Yeah. Have a few brats bags, play some cornhole bags and have throw down eight to 10 beers. Yeah. And then head on in for your flight.

Why are there people people need to be tailgating for their flight? I totally agree. I told any. In fact, now, are you going to be tailgating now that we brought that up as well? OK, I'm I'm glad you brought that out. I've been tailgating alone before I go to the airport because I'm there fairly frequently and I love the idea of being able to do with other people. So I agree. This should be a bigger thing. So I don't have to tailgate alone. Yes. So if you, well, we're not going to give all your flight information.

It's basically called drinking alone, but you know. Yeah. Well, if you're going to be flying sometime between now and I don't know a month later here, just go to the airport, look around, see if she's there, be a friend, bring some brats. You guys can have a good tailgate party. You know what? I'm going to say this as well, because in some airports they have designated smoking areas. And I'm, if you can have a designated smoking area at an airport, you can have a designated area outside with just a tailgate and the airport provides the tailgates and it, you know, and you can, and bags and they got the whole set up.

Yeah. You can just rent a tent right there. The games are on. They should have a tailgating area at the airports instead of a smoking area. And then you can just sneak out there. If like your flight gets delayed by four hours, you just head to the tailgating area.

Yeah, just go to the tailgating area. Better than the bar. I think we're on to something right here. Why isn't this a thing in the Wisconsin airport? We're gonna make it a thing. We're gonna put it right next to the recombobulation area. Do you know that? The Milwaukee airport's the Wisconsin airport. We're going to make it a thing. We're going to put right next to the recombobulation area. Do you know that the Milwaukee airport is the only airport in the nation with a recombobulation area?

I don't know what that means. It means it's right when I thought you were joking. No, I'm not. When you're there, look for it. So it's when you get done taking all your stuff off for TSA, you know, your shoes and the suitcase or whatever. They have an area with all the seats. It's at every airport, all the seats, right? But they call it the recombobulation area. Just look for the sign when you're there. What does recombobulation even mean?

It means put your shit back on, put your shoes back on, put your belt back on. Yeah. Why don't they have snacks in the recombobulation area? Well, maybe they should. Maybe the tailgating area should be the recombobulation area. So talk to me about this. What is your, so my routine when I get through security is I'm trying to get my clothes on and my hat and all that stuff as fast as possible. I mean, what, why do, have you ever been at the airport when people are going to nonchalant with that? They maybe keep their shoes off for a little too long.

It's kind of gross. You ever had that before? I'm so focused on making sure my shoes are off that I'm not making PSA yell at me more than they're already doing that. I've never really paid attention to like what other people do to be perfectly honest. So it's just me. It's about my own thing. Yeah.

So it's just me. By the way, you're like, I have to take, how much clothes are you taking off at PSA? You kind of brought it up very- Well you can fit- You don't only choose, right? Well, you can fit more into a carry on if you wear all like your coat and your sweatpants and all that on the plane. If you wear it all on the plane, then you don't have to pack as much.

Yeah. Miles in summer just goes with his big parka, you know, because that's like another bag altogether. I mean, I guess it's saving you money and it makes you happy. You're annoying at PSA, but you save money. So I'm happy for you. That's what it's all about. I'm happy for your friends because they're about to get some amazing cheeses. I'm excited to it's a joy to bring something back from a trip. And I really appreciate the recommendation because I feel like they're just going to their minds are going to be blown and they're just going to be so happy. I can't wait to see their reaction.

You got your plan. You're going to go to the roadside cheese salesman. You're going to say, give me the best curds he got. Make sure they squeak. You're going to head to the airport. You're going to tailgate by yourself for about four hours. Then you're going to and then you're going to be on your way. Then you're going to be on your way. Just don't back your own car up.

You know, just make sure you're following the airport guidelines. We don't want to be advising any federal offenses, you know, by driving back in your truck up onto the runway or anything like that, you know, so If I get into any trouble, I'm going to say Charlie and miles that it was okay. Whoa How about just miles Just miles. Yeah, okay. I'm like miles said perfect Perfect. We got it as if my lawyer doesn't already have enough work Thanks so much for that

Well, we appreciate you calling in we hope we helped you out here. Sorry started off with some very basic advice But I feel like you know, we worked our way Bring cheddar cheese. I like cheddar. I like cheddar. I can't help it that I'm basic. Okay. You know, that's all right, Charles. Yeah. I appreciate the advice. I think I'm going to stick with the squeaky cheese so I can just kind of do the one and done thing and everyone gets the same thing. No one gets jealous. Things that favor someone else. So I do appreciate and I get the whole ASMR experience. Yes.

It's a great conversation. Cheese is really what it is. I like that conversation. Cheese. That's good. Well, thanks for calling in and hopefully you have safe travels and hopefully your cheese is squeaky. Happy tailgating. Thank you so much. You two have a great rest of your podcast. Thank you.

Bye bye. All right. Bye. Why'd you have to call me out like that? I was going off the top of the dome. I was really, I was trying to think about the better ways to transport the cheese. Here's your chance to redeem yourself. What's your favorite favorite most exotic cheese?

I'm basic, bro. I like cheddar. I like cheddar, and that's okay. Your cheddar head. Yeah. And by the way, just because you name basic cheeses doesn't mean I'm a basic guy, too. I like Bushlight.

And that's it. All right. I mean, that is what basic guys. But the way we make it in Wisconsin is better than anywhere else. Okay. It's about the location. It's not like we're inventing a ton of different cheeses in Wisconsin. We just make them better than anywhere else. We didn't invent mozzarella. That's an Italian cheese, but we make a lot of it. That's true. Hey, get it. You're right. Geez. Go. I did it better than anyone. No, no, no. Don't go. Don't go putting those words in my mouth. Well, your leg is warm. Just

beat up against my leg. Started talking about tailgate and I got excited. Yeah, seriously. Let's start running high. Charlie, what do you think of horse radish cheese? Hor, oh, horse radish is amazing. I guess horse horse radish is one of horse radish cheese. Horse radish is amazing. I guess horse radish is one of- Horse radish? Horse radish is one of Wisconsin's biggest exports. Yeah, and it's got the heat of a habanero. I mean, it's amazing. I love horse radish.

So they don't export much then is what you're saying. No, they export a lot actually. My export this microphone somewhere. You might get in my face. Yeah. This is Carrie, How are you Carrie? I'm doing good. Where are you calling in from?

I'm calling from Red Deer in Canada. Oh Canada. Red Deer. Is that what you said? That's what I said. How's life up in Red Deer Canada these days? It's pretty good I suppose. Well, that's good. How's the weather up there in Canada?

You guys dry up there too? It's very dry and it's been pretty darn warm. Yeah, it has. It really has. I don't know a lot about Canada. So that's usually what I default to is talking about the weather. Yeah, well that's a good topic, I suppose. Yeah, well, why don't you Billy up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind.

I would love to. I just got a quick question. Where would a girl go to find somebody who's a weirdo, but not liking the weirdo that licks your neck and smells the chair you were sitting. Whoa. Great question. Now, before we get into it, Charlie can tell you where to find a guy who licks your neck and smells your barstool. Right, Charlie, you hang out at places like that. You know where. Right. Look, just because I'm from Milwaukee. Does not mean.

You know who who who was licking your napkin and smelling your barstool. Can we just start with that? Neck or napkin? My neck is not her napkin, her neck. Oh, that was the, that was the, that was your Canada talk. I couldn't understand it. Her napkin. Nack.

Oh no, she said neck and so I heard napkin. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know what they say? There's a big language barrier between Canada and the U S. You know, it's a little, it's a little striking right now. I'm looking at a napkin. So they lick your neck and smell your barstool. I mean, you said that very specifically like

that's happened. Yeah. Let's start with that. I did have that happen to me. It was actually one of my coworkers. I call him the silver slurper because he has these weird silver teeth, and it's kind of weird, but I'm looking for an actual weirdo, but maybe not that kind of weirdo. He had silver teeth. Look, we'll get to getting you your fella in a second. Is this made up? Am I? Are we being punked right now?

He had silver teeth. Yes. He has silver teeth and it's I call him the silver slurper because it's a little bit weird. Did you give him a job there? If he's licking people's neck and sniffing their barstool, that's an HR nightmare for the silver slurper. I'll tell you that right now That's why we call him the silver slurper because it's a little creepy You know what it's one of those situations. It's like yeah, he's a silver slurper, but he's our silver slurper You know, it's weird that he sniffs bar stools, but he's our guy who sniffs barstool. You know, he's sniffing my bar. Don't mess with them. Don't mess with my barstool sniffer. Yeah. Is this guy good at his job or I mean, how's he still working there? If he's sniffing your, I mean, this guy's name better be Tim Horton. Otherwise, why does

he still have a job there? You know? No, he's definitely a weirdo, but I'm looking for weird people, but just not his kind of people. I think you're, you're avoiding the question. How does he still have a job there? If he's sniffing your bar stool and licking your neck? I'm not really sure. I gave him a good talking to if you know what I mean. Yeah. No, I don't know. I thought I knew what you meant until you said, you know what I mean like that. What do you mean? What did you say to him? Okay. I might have gotten a little aggressive and gave him kind of a punch to the gut kind of thing It'd be like if you like my neck again

Well, I mean that I don't know yeah like someone's neck it's alright if you get punched in the gut I think you kind of had that coming. Yeah, I think he definitely had come Well, sorry that this silver slurper was a click in your neck. You shouldn't have to deal with that so the now the question is where are you gonna find a Weirdo who's not gonna be? Licking your neck. That's so weird. Yeah I'm a weirdo, but I'm not the one licking the neck. No, no It's not a you issue.

And if it don't let them don't let the silver slurper gas lead you to thinking that him smelling your barstool is a you issue. OK. I'm thinking we need to report this. Yeah, I feel like this. So we need to report this guy. I need to feel like I'm liable now that we should probably bring that up. Yeah. Let's When did this happen? Was this a recent thing?

Oh, it was a few months ago. Do you have HR in Canada? We do have HR in Canada, but I also kind of work in the USSR, which is the urinal shipping and shit receiving. So when I go to work, it's a pretty shitty place. You know what? Hey, if you want to do, you could quit that job and be a stand up comedian. Honestly, that was good. You had me going one way. I was like, Oh God, what's going

on? What's happening? And then you just hit me with the punchline. That was good. Yeah. They literally, we did an expansion at where I work in my office is literally in the bathroom. I am Carrie the P watcher. Wow. Carrie the P watcher. How can this company still exist? Yeah, I am so, I feel like we need to call someone about this company I can't this call is an onion right now and I feel like I don't but the thing is is you know Usually an onion you're gonna keep peeling it back. I think we need to start putting the layers back Because now we have been caught in a web of onion I know we've got it we've got a how do we navigate this miles?

Okay, is that the weirdest thing that's happened? What's the weirdest thing that's happened you at work too late? It's already out. It's already out. I'm gonna be liable now What's the weirdest thing? Early in the morning, so I'm one of the first people there And one day I was walking across to do inventory and a naked lady kind of came to give me a hug and asked me where she could find some food. So I work in a very interesting place. Wait, did she work there?

No. Okay. Sounds like she's tweaking and you probably need to get her some help. She needs some services. But that's one thing. You know, the naked lady hug is fine. But the rest of it.

Yeah, the bar stool sniffing, I'm still stuck on that. I feel like you might want to mention that to the I, you know, for my own. So I can sleep tonight. Well, please report this guy. Yeah. I will definitely do that. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. I like I wouldn't be. I literally wouldn't be. I'd be still thinking about it tonight. Yeah. You really do that. I mean, that's just not okay. Yeah. You don't you don't you don't sniff a barstool and get

away with it. You know, unless you're in Canada, I guess the whole I tripped in my face and nose accidentally landed on the bar stool and I sniffed isn't going to fly anymore. All right. Yeah. And even if it did, he'd still have to answer to why he was licking your neck. You know, that alone is. Yeah, you got to.

Yeah. He's definitely a definitely a weirdo. I will put that out there. But I think there's weirdo and then there's creeper. I think there's different levels of weirdo. So anyway, to get to your question, after you report that to HR, that's a good thing. But where can you-

Could I report him to the police? The police, yeah. Yeah, that might be a better solution. Please report him to the police. Because he's probably one step from peeking through my windows. Oh gosh, all right, yeah, please report him to the police. Give me probably one step from peeking through my windows. Oh gosh, all right, yeah, you definitely gotta report that guy.

Please report this guy to the police. Geez Louise. I mean, the amount of red flags. It's a good thing the Canadian flag is red because I am getting all of them in my head right now. So, why, now your personality, I think that's what's throwing me a little bit because you seem very blase about the fact

that this guy was doing that. And so I'm trying to figure that out. Are you just always this kind of this happy or do you have other thoughts about this whole situation the bar's just usually a pretty easygoing happy person but that one definitely definitely threw me yeah yeah well I think to answer your original question I think you keep the positive attitude that you have as a human we can tell that over the phone.

You seem like a good gal. The right person is going to come along. Report that guy. Get him out of your life. And maybe the police officer and you will hit it off. Okay. How about it? Too soon, Charlie. What? I'm just saying.

You know, you go about your normal life, just being you, just living your true essence, and then the person who's meant to be with you is just gonna pop along. I would tell you, like, you know, as a joke to do Craigslist misconnections, but I feel like that guy might be on. It sounds like you already have that guy in your life, so don't do that.

Yeah, are you on any of the dating apps? Do they have fleet points up there? I am not. I'm kind of one of these people that feel the old fashioned way of hoping to find somebody the natural way, not on a dating website. I know that doesn't really mean anything in this day and age, but- No, it does. I just want somebody to go on a mitten date with me.

A what? A mitten date. You know, you put on your mittens, you go for a date, you hold it, you go on a mitten date with me. Oh, a what? A mitten date. You know, you put on your mittens, you go for a date, you hold hands. Oh, no, I've never heard that expression before. You just wanna go ice skating. Yeah, a mitten date, I love that. So, you know, what do you, what?

Hey, if there's a guy listening out there. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. That is not a weirdo that doesn't like licking necks and sniffing. Oh, yeah. That's that is not a weirdo that doesn't like licking necks and sniffing. Sorry. Who's a little bit of a weirdo, but not so much that they're sniffing barstools and licking necks and you want to go on a date. You got to let us know. And well, maybe this is this is connections.

This is it. This is it. We are doing it. You're right. The answer was right in front of us all along. Yeah, we are going to find. Just give us some. Do you care what he looks like? No, no, just not. That was a yes. No, that was a yes. How tall are you? Yeah.

Give us some specs. Give us, you know, a general age range for tall, tall glass of water. Dark hair. What are you thinking? Okay, no silver pearly whites no silver creeps Yeah, all right. All right. Well, that sounds good if you like long walks with your mittens Let us know or you like hitting up the rank in mittens. Hitting up the rank, whatever you're doing. If you're wearing mittens, get on a mitten date and let's figure it out. Now, what do you care if they're in your general location or are you willing to travel?

I'm willing to travel. OK, all right. Well, you know, there you have it. I'll let you know. it. I'll let you know Yeah, we'll let you know if anyone reaches out on this, okay? Yeah, cuz I live in a pretty little kind of place so Hickey kind of place

Yeah, yeah, so now you got people licking necks and sucking on necks. What kind of place is this? Let's find a different term than hickey to describe describe the town. I, that might, you know, that might confuse folks. If you jump in their gene pool, your feet don't get too wet. Oh my God. Was this guy your cousin? The guy who snipped your bar to be a standup comedian. Yeah, you should start doing stand up. Yeah, that's a good idea. Shitty job and just be a stand up comedian. I mean, holy shit. Yeah, that's that's the kind of place I live in.

Like, they don't want to go and do anything like I'm outdoorsy. I like going hiking like I live pretty close to the mountains and like going hiking and cross country skiing and doing all that stuff and They're not into that kind of stuff. It doesn't sound like it. No, but I bet you you'll find other people out on the trails who are You think you would think but it doesn't seem like it you go out and it's like Okay, I'm a little bit weird too, so sometimes I say some weird things, but I've gotta look at you a little different. Maybe that scares them off, I don't know.

Hang on, hang on. No, she said she's weird too many times. No, we can't, yeah. I just wanna hear one weird thing that you like to say. Okay, so I was out for a hike walk the other day. Yeah. And there was a gentleman that was out walking his dog. And I'm like, Hey, are you here to pick up chicks too?

Because I was there to do some bird watching. And he really got a little frightened, I think, because he scurried along. So you are a straight up comic. Oh yeah. Jokes. That's funny. Yeah. That's funny.

I think you should start doing some standup over there. You got any open mics in town? I know again, we used to have stuff in this town, but it's pretty quiet, pretty, pretty low key. Nothing going on. It was open mics in this town until there was too many incest jokes and everyone got passed and they shut them down. You know, when we're all brother, cousin, uncle daddies here, you know, it gets a little

bit weird. It's been an absolute pleasure talking to you. It's kind of tough for Canada right now. We don't get a lot of Canadian callers and. Yeah. You know, just do it. Not all of Canada is is where like you're at. Right. Right. I know. I hope not. I've been to quite a bit of places in Canada and no, no, they're not quite like red deer.

OK. Well, thanks quite like red deer. Well, thanks for putting red deer on the map. Let's put it on the map as a no go zone, a no fly zone. They would say, yeah, watch out for the silver toothed fella of red deer. Yeah. OK. All right. Well, we thanks for calling in. Report that guy. I'm serious. Yeah. Doing my part in this. Yeah. Please report it. Report your cousin and you know, watch out for cousins on the right home. Yeah. And watch your bar stool when put a napkin on your bar stool. The next time you go to the bathroom. There you go. Yes, I will do that.

All right. Thanks for calling in. Bye bye now. Thank you. Have a good night. Yeah, you too. You too. Bye bye. Bye now. Charlie. I don't.

You didn't tap me. You didn't give me the tap. No, that was great. Yeah. Well, I felt like you were mad that I was asking about why, how she's a weirdo. No I just know I just I just knew there was gonna be a whole can of worms potentially that we were gonna have to legally navigate

That was weird cuz I did that. I mean the way she was saying it that's what was throwing me cuz I was like I was like wait, maybe this was That's why at first I thought it maybe wasn't real, but it seemed pretty, seemed pretty real. Like it wasn't too many details because if there's too many details, it's a lie. Right. Well, but if there's no details, it's also a lie. It was right smack dab in the middle. And she kind of buried it. She kind of like, I know. And so I really do hope that she reports that guy. That was not cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You show us report a guy who's looking next. Well, yeah, unconsensual. I mean, I don't know what you can really do about the sniffing the bar stool legally, but the other part that. Yeah, you're right. That is true. I wasn't thinking legally. I didn't know you were such a legal expert either. I'm always caught up in litigation, you know, still don't

know what that word means, but we're working on it. Yeah. Well, hopefully she's hilarious. She's by the way, she's good. If you're looking for a funny gal, likes a nice mint date. If you're looking for a standup comedian in the red door area up there in Canada red deer recall was it red deer? Did we catch in the pisser what's going on No, I was just reading I was just almost fell asleep and I was like, oh shit I had a beep and I was like, oh shit. I'm in the podcast Where you calling him like I'm calling from Norway. No shit. No, no way. Norway. No shit. Norway. Well, this is Norway. Okay. Well, welcome to the belly. Now podcast. This is our first Norway

Norwegian that we've ever had call in. So this is pretty exciting. What time is it there? I always like playing that game. What time is it there? What do you mean? It's let me check the clock here. It's almost uh, almost seven o'clock here. So almost 19. No, no, it's like, uh, yeah, it is bedtime for them. And ours, our difference. Yeah. Seven hours. Also, also my dad's in the background. If you heard someone, he was just correcting me. Oh, tell it, tell your dad. We says, hi, you guys are like, they say, hi dad. Hello. There he is.

You guys are future, uh, future travelers. Yeah. What's the future like? Yeah. We have our way. Oh, you know, we got flying cars, uh, robots that's taken over. That kind of sucks. I knew the robots were going to take over. Yeah. Oh, cool. Well, why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind. Yeah. No. So I was listening to some, a few episodes ago, it was this guy from New Zealand and he asked if like New Zealand could be a part of the Midwest. And I was thinking, you know, why, why should Norway to be a part of the Midwest? You know, it's time to state your case. See, I wanted to say

it together. Miles. Oh, sorry. It is time to state your case. Should Norway be part of the Midwest? Let's hear your pitch. Well, I think, well, I think, well, we do enjoy, we do enjoy fishing. We fish a lot, especially down there in South Norway. You fish, we got boats, do a lot of boating. Hunting too. We do a lot of hunting. What do you guys hunt for? Hunting. Oh, you know, we hunt, you know, deer. I don't know what you, what kind of deer is it? Like do we call them white hails there? No, roe and a road there and stag and mouses. Oh, you got what's the cost? Yeah. We got mouses. We have mouses too. You guys and what else? And reindeer reindeer. Yeah. If you go up north, you

can hunt the reindeer too. So we're kind of on Santa's most wanted list. there's two. So we're kind of on Santa's most wanted list. Santa's most wanted list. All of Norway. Guy, you're off to a great start. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing more Midwest than compromising Christmas for a nice reindeer. So feeling right so far. Also the fact that your dad is in the background reminding you to mention hunting pretty damn Midwest. I would say so. I'll tell you that. So, uh, yeah. Keep you're on a roll. We're going to let you keep rolling. Yeah. What, what about culturally? What do you guys do for fun besides hunting and fishing? Oh, what we do for fun than hunting and fishing. Well, Norwegians really like to, uh, yeah, we do drink.

Well, old fashioned, but we don't, but we don't drink old fashioned. Sarah here, we drink more gin and tonic gin and tonic. So if you go to a bar or any restaurant, they will always have a gin tonic there. And, you know, they have like two kinds of gin tonics. They have the normal standard gin tonic. So if you go to a bar or any restaurant, they will always have a gin tonic there. And you know, they have like two kinds of gin tonics. They have the normal standard gin tonic and then they have the fancy gin tonic, which is like, it's like they have like the gin tonic and then they have maybe like a plant or like some berries in it to make it look fancy. Almost tastes the same. So, well putting berries in a, in a liquor cocktail. That's very old fashioned. We do

that with old fashions. Um, and we, we put veggies in, um, in bloody Mary's. So, I mean, it's sounding like, uh, what'd your dad say cross country skiing. We do. I don't cross country ski. You don't say, but we do have some Nordic tracks here in the Midwest. We absolutely do in Hayward, Wisconsin. We got the Berkey binder, which is the, you know, yeah, it's a big old, um, wait, wait, can you say that? Can you say that name again?

The Berkey binder, Berkey binder. Oh yeah. Wait, wait, wait, can you say that name again? The Birkebinder? Birkebinder. Birkebinder. Oh yeah, yeah, that's Birkebinder. We call it Birkebeiner. I think we made a movie about that actually. Yeah, we did. Yeah. How do you say it again? Birkebeiner. Birkebeiner. Birkebeiner.

Birkebeiner. Yeah. Oh, you roll the R. You roll the R. Yeah. Bill Bill Bill keep binding Bill keep binding. You're buying the beer. You're buying it. Yeah. Oh, you roll the R you roll the R. Yeah, we roll the R a lot here. Bill keep binding. Bill keep binding.

Yeah. Keep buying. Better than it. Better than it. Better than it. There we go. Yeah. Okay.

I have a. There we go. Okay. I have, I have a question that I think, um, something that the Midwest can learn from the Scandinavian countries. I don't know if you guys do it in Norway. I think this might be a Denmark thing and correct me if I'm wrong. This might sound very foreigner of me, but does it Denmark or Norway or all you guys just leave your babies in a carriage thing sitting outside when you go into restaurants and stuff?

Yeah, we do that. We do that there. We do that. My sister does it with her kid and like, apparently like if she tries to make him to sleep, she puts him in the carriage outside and it could be like, but like one minus outside or anything and he'll be just fine. And if we take him back inside again, he just starts crying. So she just puts him in back. She just puts them back outside again and then she's all fine. Then he's all fine in the sleeping. So yeah, we do that.

That is awesome. We do that. Super bad ass. I heard that it's actually, I, this went viral on the internet not too long ago. And I, some of the comments, I mean, I don't know if this true. I got it off a tick tock or some bullshit. I think that the, um, it's supposed to be better for your kids in some way, right? Like circulation or something. Do you read that miles? Yeah, I don't. I know that there's some sort of benefit. The benefits they're out of the house. They're crying outside with the squirrels. That's I don't really know. Oh, I think it was like, it also helps build their immune system. That was it builds their immune system. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. That could be it. That could be it. You got you guys.

Yeah, we invented that word. We do say Uffta. We probably pronounce it as Uffta. Well, and that's what that's pretty. Yeah, I think your strongest argument here for being part of the Midwest is that, you know, Norwegians help build the Midwest. I mean, I mean, a lot of immigrant groups did and Norwegian certainly perfect. There's this town in Wisconsin called Westby, Wisconsin, and they've got all these, I think, yeah, they're the Norwegian flags just sitting up

there and they've got a lot of Norwegian heritage, you know? So, and that's, so in reality is it, does Norway want to be part of the Midwest or does the Midwest kind of own Norway Midwest wannabe for a lot of our culture on Norway. Yeah. I do have I do have a grandpa lives in he lives in Wisconsin. So yeah I guess I guess so. Where is he in Wisconsin, your grandpa? He lives in the area, he lives pretty close to a small town called Hawkins, if you've heard about that. Not the one from Stranger Things, but like a different place.

Oh, okay. Is it in the western part of the state? I don't know exactly where that is. This doesn't make good radio, but you know, I'm curious. Let me ask, where is Hawking looking north or south? Oh, southeast of Hayward. Oh yeah. Southeast of Hayward.

Yeah, I was just in Hayward this summer actually, so I was right by there. Yeah, I go right up there every year to go fishing over at the Tiger Mus actually. So I was right by there. Yeah. I go right up there, um, uh, every year to go fishing over at the tiger musky. So maybe we should stop by and, and say hi to your grandpa. You know, it does. Does your grandpa go to the better keep buying that? Uh, I don't, I think he's too old to go. Basically I think it's too old for that.

He's like almost 90 years old, but he, he lives, uh, it was kind of like a bit like, you know, small little farm all by himself. He, uh, sometimes he drives down to Illinois, Chicago to, uh, visit some friends and family over there, but he mostly keeps himself up there. So we're going to visit him and, uh, we're going to visit him and then, uh, for me, my dad, my sister and my cousins and my cousins, grandpa are all planning to visit him and go hunting in the November. That sounds awesome. That is going to be awesome.

So a question for you. I've always wondered this. You say he's nine years old. I feel like people in Norway live longer than Americans. I feel like they are happier than Americans are. So to us Americans, what is the key and success to long living and happiness from someone who lives in Norway? I would probably say that because we do go on a lot of walks and we do enjoy nature a lot.

We go on a lot of walks, mostly like, you know, across skiing or long heights up in the mountains. So that's a, that's a, maybe could be one of the keys. So you're saying don't sit on your, you're saying don't sit on your couch with your neck cranked, looking at your phone all day, get outside and touch grass. Yeah. Go outside, touch grass and also visit the Norwegian George those are also pretty nice well we got to get a little info on that what is that if you're just like I don't know how to describe it but you're the steward yes yes yeah I know that I've read miles is looking at me confused

though so you might have to explain it for miles but I'm smart no I know that I've read. Miles is looking at me confused though, so you might have to explain it for Miles, but I'm smart. Yeah, no, I know just for our listeners that maybe don't know. Oh yeah, just for our listeners. Fjords is like a river that kind of goes between two really big mountains. That's probably where I can find most of the Americans, actually, because that's the first thing they want to watch. So big mountains, big mountains,

river going through it. So yeah, that's the fear. I'm not really good at explaining it. No, we're looking at a picture right now. Encyclopedia Britannica is really, I mean, this is pretty awesome. You know, and what you're saying about being outside, that makes sense.

I learned recently that trees give off a drug. It's called like fight asides or something. So and it helps prevent against cancer. I I heard it. Your tick tock looks much different than mine, Charlie. I didn't see it on. All right. I know a fellow who's an expert said it to me and something, and I don't really remember any of it, but look it up.

Google it. Look up the drugs from trees as you breathe them in and no cancer or something. Google all that. See what pops up. Anyways, I got one more question. You guys said that you do like to go drinking. I feel like every other country in the world has phenomenal drinking culture chants and songs that they sing when they're at the bar altogether. Does Norway have any of those? I'm not really an outside the drinker guy, but I've heard one song that I know the youth

likes to sing now is something about that. We're so rich that we could buy Sweden or something. It's like, yeah, we, that's one of the kind that I said this, I don't know the song by heart, but it's like a song where you talk about, Oh, they're so rich because we got oil and Sweden doesn't. So we can just buy Sweden. Is there a lot of, uh, inner country, uh, uh, rivalry between the Scandinavian countries? Yes. Yes, there is. We, it's not like we hate each other, but it's like, you know, we just,

it's like a Norwegian and a sweet meets each other. They will be like, Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. Anyways, have a nice day. Fuck you. I'm sorry for the language. And you know what? Now you don't want to apologize. I think this leads into what you originally called for being part of the Midwest. That sounds very similar to Wisconsin's beef with Illinois, you know, Bears fans versus Packers fans. F you, F you. Tell your folks I says, ah, yeah, watch for deer. That's a drink. Yeah. You want another beer?

You know, F you. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's basically how it goes. Here's the real thing. I think, oh, no, sorry. Oh, are you, is Norway the Illinois or is Norway the Wisconsin and is Sweden, like which one's the Wisconsin of the two? Oh, that's a really hard question. Actually. Uh, I don't, I would say probably Norway is the, I think like Norway is the, I think Norway is the Wisconsin and Sweden

could be the Illinois. Yes. And I'm just going to accept that. Cause I don't know any information on it. Well, from where I'm sitting, I think that we would be glad to have you, but it kind of feels a little wrong because I feel like a lot of the Midwest came from Norway. So it's, it's more so a joint venture than it is accepting you guys into the Midwest. It's more of a partnership in my mind. Yeah. We'll call it a bad. And before you go, I just want to, I just want to hear it straight from a Norwegian's mouth. What is the definition of the definition of that's a good one. I think it's like, it's kind of like, I think it's, I think it's kind

of like if you say it's like, Oh, you say Ufda, it's like, oh, you dropped your car case? Oh, Ufda. Oh, you got run over by a car? Ufda. Oh, I'm sorry. Did your wife break up with you? Ufda.

I could not have said it better myself. So Ufda can basically be used for anything. I mean, it's the same word you'd say if you drop your casserole on the floor and if someone like dies, you know, it's just it's the same word. Yeah. Move to an all encompassing word, a beautiful word. Well, that's great. Left.

Right. Yeah. So yeah. So here's a I got a question for you. An all-encompassing word, a beautiful word. Well, that's great. Lefse is Norwegian, right? Yeah. Lefse? Yeah, so here's a, I got a question for you. Do you guys eat lefse regularly in Norway? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, we have like all different kinds of lefse. We have like lefse with sugar on it, which is like a dessert.

Then you have lefse that you put around the hot dog and that's also pretty good. So that's what halo the hot dog in the, and it's also pretty good. So that's what you guys eat. You guys eat left. So with hot dogs in them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a potato. Let's say, you know, you wrap it around the hot dog and it's pretty good. You put like ketchup, you take the left. So you put ketchup, you put mustard, you put like, uh, like roasted onion on it. Oh yeah. I think that's what it is. Sour, roasted onion, sauerkraut. That's what we call it. That no, no, no, no, no. So it's like, uh, it's like roasted onion and a mustard and you wrap around and you eat it. So that's

kind of how we have it. That sounds awesome. Next time I got left. And shrimp salad and shrimp salad too. You put it in shrimp salad or it replaces the shrimp in the salad. No, no, we put like shrimp salad is like, or shrimp salad in the hot dog. Oh, this is still going in the hot dog. Okay, I'm gonna have to try this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also the, and then for dessert, have sugar left. Yes.

Oh, I'm sorry. No, you just put sugar on it? Is that it? Is that the recipe? Butter, probably. No, it's like, it's probably butter. I really don't know, but like it's a different, like there's like two types lefts. If you're probably

in an area in the Midwest around the 17th of May, which is the national day of Norway. Last time I was in America, that was on the 17th of May, and I was American Norway Norwegian celebration. And then there I found the left or as they like to call it the purse. So her silver flag hot. I love that. And that's really funny. Yeah. It's really fun to go to those Norwegian celebration in America. And you see it. They all try to like, they find out that, Oh, you're from Norway. Can can I try my Norwegian on you? I was like, Oh, okay. It's like, it's the Halu Washington Gordon. I'm like, Oh my God. Well, this is awesome. Yeah, it is. And can you, before we go, can you just teach us one phrase to say to a Norwegian that will impress them?

Teach them one phrase that could impress an American. Hey, Dad, what should we, what Norwegian word should we teach these people? They want to impress like other Norwegians by learning a Norwegian phrase or word. Oh my goodness. I'm going to think about this. Okay. Yeah. So this is a word, like a little sentence that we always say to. So if we have a guy who comes to this, who's like a foreigner and he wants to learn one Norwegian sentence, the word it's yeah. Can you go a scotch slower on that? Also, before we say it, what does it mean? I heard the dad laughing in the background. What does it mean? It means I cannot speak Norwegian. That's good. I mean, I guess that would be

nice to know. One time Scholar. We're going to, we're going to get it and then we're going to let you go. Okay. Okay. Sure. Okay. Yeah. No, I really don't know. But it's like, it's like, if you're being shocked or if you're having like a shocking reactions like, Oh, 50 cop, I really don't know what it means. So, but yeah, you said it again. 50. Kappa.

No, not Kappa, but like, Kappa means cat. Kappa. Kappa. Kappa. Cata. Cata. Cata. Cata. Pitti cata. Pitti cata. Darn it. Yeah, it means like darn it. It means like darn it. Okay. Oh darn it. Basically. It's a nice word. Pitti cata. Pitti cata. Well, I appreciate you teaching us some Norwegian, man. That. Yeah this was awesome and I think it's time to officially make it. Norway is officially part of the Midwest. Here here. Here here. Cheers to you. Yeah I don't have a I can drink some Christmas soda. Yeah have yourself a Christmas soda. Cheers

it raise it high. Well, thanks for calling in today, man. This is great. And maybe no problem. Don't be shy. Calling again. This is great. Yeah. Oof. Hey, that's a good one. And watch out for deer. You watch out for reindeer. We watch out for reindeer. Yeah. What? Wait, they're going to. And my dad wants to say goodbye to. Yeah. See you later. And don't eat the lute. Okay. We won't. I don't have any problem. I don't have any problem with that. So yeah. And by the way, I just want to say this is really reiterating your stance as part of the Midwest because we're now in a Norwegian. Goodbye and That's very similar to a Midwest. Goodbye

Yeah, yeah, that's pretty similar to I forgot to mention that that we You can teach them the word for balls. It's the... What's the word for balls? Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. No, pong nian.

Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. Yeah, you almost got it. Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. Pong nian. All right, man. Thanks for calling in. You almost got it. Boon. Boon. Boon. Boon.

Boon. Boon. Thanks for calling in. Your dad's great. You're great. No problem. Tell your dad we says, tell your dad we says bye. Oof.

The poon. You're good. Okay. Bye bye. Now I will have a good one. I'll buy now. I, so many more things I wanted to ask. That's one place in the world I haven't gone. I would like to go to Norway or one of those countries. Yeah. Awesome. One of the fingers you and me, let's take this worldwide. Charlie. Hey, we can, you know, we can let's say about you.

I think they have internet there. So I think we're good. Why don't we do a, why don't we do it before your baby boy comes? We'll do a little baby moon. You and me, we'll go. We want to go there in the winter though. Or do we want to go there in the summer? I think we gotta go in the winter. So we gotta go see babies sitting outside in the winter. Yeah. I do need to see that. I know. I don't believe them. I think it's like they're just doing it for tick tock, you know, that's good. Wow. They wrap them up. They just, yeah. Like they wrap them up in warm clothing and then they just leave them outside. Can you imagine if people started doing that in us, people would be losing their mind. Yeah. Someone would get called for child neglect. Yeah. Do you lock? Do you like chain them up like a bike? You know, you know, and you

don't want someone stealing your stroller, you know? So I, I would think you hear you'd have at least have to have a, a U-lock for the baby. I mean, who wants to steal a baby though? Let's be honest. True. The bad,s, like the biggest pain. I'll start the trend with my kid. Do it. Yep. I'll just leave them outside. Yeah. We'll bring them. Bring your kid to the first. Oh, well, I guess you're getting a summer baby. All right. We'll wait till the way to the winter. Yeah. This is Gwen. Gwen. How are you doing? I'm well. How are you guys doing? Doing good. We're bellied up to the bar. Why don't you belly up to the bar with us?

Tell us what's on your mind. Okay. So do you guys remember the traumatic backstory single mom that called in a while ago? We get that a lot. Yeah. A little more specific on this. What were we talking about? The single mom of three that had the ex-husband that tried to kill her multiple times and was

going through the divorce and everything. Yes. This was probably about a year ago. Is that Schuyler's Tavern? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is. Are you here? That's me. Yeah, that's me. Give us the update on that. Yeah. Give us the update on that and give some more backstory for the listeners who haven't heard the call. Oh goodness. Okay. So I or I was a single mom of three. I had just started my divorce process. My ex-husband had tried to kill me multiple times, ran at me with a jeep and got away with almost everything. And then I kept giving up charges.

I was scared. And then finally something broke the camel's back and I called the cops and had him removed. So I do have an interesting question now because I'm that is Moving on but I am with somebody who is a farming bull rider and I don't know how the heck you guys are supposed to keep those guys happy Because he doesn't want to bull ride anymore, but he wants to bull ride. Cause he doesn't want to hurt himself, but he wants to do it.

So I don't know how you're supposed to keep them like energized and excited when they like the rush of lying all over the fucking place. Yeah. I don't know any, I'm not clearly, I'm not a rodeo guy. I respect, I think I've said multiple times that the people who are riding bulls are crazy in a good way. And I respect the hell out of what they do. Cause I would never, I'm too soft basically. Um, so that being said, I mean, these guys, from what I understand, it's kind of a, uh, they know that it's bad for their body

to ride bulls, but they love it so much and love the adrenaline so much that they're okay with potentially wrecking their body because the high is so high. Is that correct? Is that what you're saying? I think so, but I think he hasn't done bull riding for a long while, I believe. And now of course, you know, I was single mom of three and we've been together for two, three, four, five, six, somewhere in their months. And he's met the kids, the kids love him. He loves the kids.

So he doesn't want to go get hurt. And then he can't play with the kids, which also means then he pitters around the house and needs more excitement. I don't know what to excite him. How are you supposed to excite someone that wants to be thrown? I'm not very strong. Okay. Have you heard of furries? Oh, God. No. All I'm saying. All I'm saying. Yeah. Have you ever heard that Rihanna song about chains

and whips exciting? Oh, all right. We were trying to tell me that I need to start exploring this something here. Well, we don't need to take it down that road because let's be frank. Yeah, that stills on the table. It's still on the table, but it's going to take a lot more than that. This guy likes a caged animal. If we get to the root of it, Charlie, maybe he just likes the pain of getting thrown around. That is true. I feel like we got to know what he likes the most about it. Does he like the pain? In which case, you know, whips and chains can help with that. Or is he an adrenaline junkie? What would you say if you had to guess?

Oh God, I think he might be a little bit of both guys. Like I think he might be a little bit of both guys like I think he might be a little bit of both. When he's digging around the junk drawer and he gets stuck in the thumb by a tack does he does he kind of like say ah or does he say ah? I don't know about that I do know he told me today that he was playing chicken with a semi trying to pass a tractor and got on the other side of the road within three little zip lines. Yeah. I mean, the adrenaline there for sure. That's what we're dealing with.

We're dealing with an adrenaline junkie here and this is going to be, get them into skydiving. Yeah, it's actually skydiving is pretty safe. It's a safe adrenaline thing. I think I'm supposed to do that with him. That doesn't sound like a great thing to do with him. I mean, what if you do it and you get hooked on it, you know, and then you got, you know, I let's just hope nothing goes wrong for your kids sake.

But, you know, maybe just he does it for a while. Double whammy. OK, counter suit. Counter suit. What if I just took all my trauma and all the time, you know, I went there with things and just beat the shit out of him during, you know, fun time. Oh, you guys could marry your traumas. So what she said, so you would beat the shit out of them.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think this is a terrible idea, but I walk down the road with you on it. And in the right context, in the right context, right? Get a little nice, like weather cause cows are kind of, or foals are kind of leathery. Get a nice little leather, maybe time up a little bit and then just beat the shit out of him and give him time of his life. And that'll be right. It honestly, I think it might. You don't want to make sure he signs a form though, before he start beating the shit out of them. You know, make sure we consent is huge in this scenario. Right, Charlie? Yeah. Why are you saying right? Charlie? I'm looking for your

approval. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You want Charlie? I'm looking for your approval. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you want to get you want to get some consent on that. And I also think that getting yourself a mechanical bowl in the basement and kind of mixing a little, you know, erotic whip play with a bowl could be kind of something fun. You also pair it with putting Legos all over the floor. So if he gets thrown off the ball, there's an added pain aspect to it.

Yeah, that's genius miles. I like where this was going. See, I was going more with like, I could get him a bowl ring and maybe throw some sand in his eyes at the end of adult time. But I like where this one's going better. I like where this one's going better. I like mixing bull riding and adult time, you know, I mean, it seems like you've thought about this before. I mean, she's rattling off these things pretty quickly. Very specific. So I need to know what are the other things that you are been thinking about? Well, there is the option because, OK, I don't I did some research here.

All right. Because there is like a yearly rodeo, like Super Bowl thing he put on. So I actually paid attention. I watched seven seconds. I know about someone Mooney. I think that's his name. Maybe Justin. Don't kill me if that's wrong.

But someone Mooney, super good bull riders, I saw that they have clowns that like hide in these big old buckets, right? So hear me out. Put a bull ring on him, right? Be like this little cute little thing. Hide in a fire barrel dressed as a sexy clown. Throw him on the bed, hog tie him, flip him off the bed, throw sand in his eyes, hog tie him, flip him off the bed, throw sand in his eyes, maybe

tie rope around his, uh, his utility under satchel and just kind of drag him a little bit. And that should probably get the adrenaline and the pain, right? Yeah. I think that'll do the trick right there. I think, you know, you've, you've found yourself a lucky fella. I'm going to tell you that right now. Wow. Wow. Now she really has thought about, and you have to have proposed some of this to him already. Am I correct in saying that? No, no, no. I've kind of, you know, been like, Oh, this would be funny or hey, this person said this online, that'd be funny. And he was just kind of like, haha. But you know, I've been I've been looking a little Amazon every now and then, you know, trying to see if I can get drunk enough to steal a barrel sometime. Although he's the one driving me

drunk around here to steal the barrel. I mean, borrow it from the city. Obviously, I'd return it after he's done. Not a criminal. And I don't know. I think I'd have to find a third party in this to help with the drunk barrel, but might be able to order a couple things then and might surprise him a little bit. So you think-

But he's cowboy, so he'll be drunk ahead of time. So we should be safe on the whole, what are you doing? This is- This is a lot to unpack. First of all, I feel like just a general note to our listeners, guys, if anybody wants to sponsor a barrel, okay, consider that because this I feel like needs to get done. My other thought on this is you're putting all this thought into helping him.

Is is he putting the same kind of thought into helping you with your needs or is the thought you're putting in your brain? What's that? I said, oh, honey, he's doing great on that. My needs are covered. We're good. We're great. Yeah. What do you mean by that? He's got a hog on them is what she's saying. Charlie. Well, let's, I, well, okay. To be fair. All right. The X was a little shrimpy, you know, a little shrimp cocktail and all of that. And then you get with a cowboy, you get the horse I found out, but I also got with an older cowboy. Okay. So he is about nine years older than me.

So he's kind of seen a couple of rings himself and kind of knows what he's. Hey, this ain't, this ain't his first rodeo. It is not. It is not. Although I feel like if I do a little plan here, it might be his first rodeo and he's either going to come out traumatized or he's going to love me more. And I think I'm willing to take the chances guy.

I'm really thinking about it. How are you going to know if you don't try it? Exactly. You know, it's either going to last or it's not, but 50 50 he'll still be able to play with the kids. You probably just can't have anymore. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, I don't even think you called in for advice. I think you just called in to just brag about that. This is your scenario now, which is also fine. Yeah, I'm happy you did. I'm happy you did. Are you going to give them a hockey helmet to wear? You just, is he going to walk in the door? There's going to be a hockey helmet on the kitchen table. And then it's go time. He actually has one hanging in the room. I mean, he has a couple of pairs of chaps here. He has some like kick the bowl thingies and he has the hockey helmet and a couple of ropes. Oh, he has a couple of ropes. Look at that.

Okay. We already have him there boys. All right. All right. Listen, we got to really plan this though, because the way you're saying this is you're already going to be in the barrel kind of a thing. So, um, or you're going to be in the room. So you got to lead him up to the room. So start with a hockey helmet on the kitchen table, take the ropes and then have the ropes in not like rose petals, guiding him where to go, have the ropes and everything. And then the last thing you have there be kind of his chaps, but you know. I do like that.

I do like that. They're fancy. The other idea though, rent a bull ring for a day, get the angriest bull I can find and tell him if he can find the hole without us dying from the bull that he's really won something. If he can find the hole without dying from the bowl, then he's really won something. Is that what I think?

Yeah. Like, you know, we, yeah, like we're both in the bowl ring. And you know, he's trying to see what I'm saying here. Isn't that like illegal in like a lot of States just fornicating in front of animals. Well, my whole third find my whole not the bowl full. What the bowl is chasing us. He has to find my whole. No, I understand that. Is it legal to just be fornicating in front of animals? People do it in front of their dogs all the time. I suppose. I guess

I didn't think about that. Yeah. Well, this is, this is really like experience Charlie. Wow. Our dogs stay in a kennel room. All right. Wow. So don't you judge me after you've said this whole thing? This is a, this is a, uh, no kink shaming podcast. Clearly we've been open minded with you to be open minded with Charlie. And also I'm not, I'm not even saying anything about what I'm doing, but I'm just saying, I know that something that anyway. So is this your, is this your thing? Like you like being the, what is it? A dominatrix saying anything about what I'm doing, but I'm just saying, I know that something that anyway. So is this your, is this your thing? Like you like being the, what is it? A dominatrix Charlie? I think that do you call yourself a domain matrix?

No, it's kind of horrifying to think of it, but man, he just hit her. Like he's got a spice knee and that's super fun and everything. And like there's, there's some things that are amazing to him that I do, but like, I don't know. He's so bored. Like, he is going through school. He's almost done with schooling and he works out an elevator, like a granary elevator. He's manager there and then he works part-time at the, at a hotel as maintenance man. But like, anytime he's home, if he's not throwing the kids around, the kids I swear are gonna be gotten little friggin'

bull riders, especially my youngest, cause they do like just being thrown into a couch or whatever, like they're all for all of it and do it to each other. So then he'll play with them. But just like between him and I, like I was like, oh, we should wrestle. He can throw me around, but he wants to be gentle and all sweet. I figure if maybe I throw him with

a little bit help and kind of weak couple of ropes or whatever, it might be a little more interesting, you know? Okay. I like it. I like it. Let's try it out. Let's try it out. Yeah, well, you know what? Miles and I, we're gonna, we'll throw in a whip on this. Jared, can we look up a nice whip to send over? We'll get you a care package. It's gonna need to be like, it's gonna have to be like a Wyoming bull whip. Wyoming bull whip?

You know, like it has to be a big whip. I feel like that's probably the most genuine, right? Yeah. That's genuine, Yeah. Sure. Yeah. We'll get that going. You want chains too or just a whip? Ooh, chains might be fun. Hang him from the ceiling like a little hog or something.

Yeah, no, he's not gonna like that. Okay, maybe not that. Well, hey, you gotta remember, it's not just about what the bowl rider wants. It's about what the bowl wants. And I think you are the bowl in this analogy. I am horrified. All right.

I am not dominatrix. Like I'm like, Oh yeah, you do whatever to me. So it's going to be a horrifying experience all around. I just want to know if it'll get his heart rate going. You know what you keep saying? You don't want this. I think you want this. You've put in a lot of people who don't want this are not calling in to a Podcast telling this is usually all the detail. They don't want it. Here's how it usually goes

Huh? Well, I could tie him up and whatever but nah, I don't want to do that Yeah, and it ends right. Now this seems to have gone about 15 to 20 steps further than that. So I think that, yeah, just accept your fate. Yeah. You, you enjoy it and that's fine. You know, that's great. Embrace that. And we're going to send you a complimentary whip and chain. And if you're lucky, maybe we'll get you that barrel too that you can hide in, but the sexy clown costume that's gonna have to be on you. Unless Miles wants to put that in his credit card. I might have one in storage, so I'll see. You've been a couple rodeos yourself, huh, I heard that Dan's pregnant, that doesn't make sense.

No, I know, I'm about what they would call vanilla, so you don't gotta worry about that with me, Charlie. Well, I, I, I'm not doing any of that with you miles. I know, but just in case you're wondering yet, I mean, we'll see what happens. Well, congratulations. Oh, thank you very much. Yeah. Congratulations to you too. I listen, I think bottom line, we're happy you got out of this. You seem to be in a much better spot. Screw that other guy that tiny dog fella. And now you got yourself a big old horse. Uh, who's, who's ready to

buck the bull and, uh, you're ready to just be that rodeo clown. What is that? How do I bring this up to him? Like, can you guys kind of role play the conversation I'm supposed to have with him about like what's going to happen? Well, before we role play, first option, you just slide the consent form over to him and stare him deep in the eyes and wait till he signs it. Then no other words are spoken. Do I have my drink with that?

Yeah. And then it's on, you know? He's carrying my drink and staring at him. I think that's what you gotta do. Just slide a consent form over, have him sign it. Don't break eye contact with him. And then it's go time. I say, sign it. Should I hold my breath the whole time too? So my eyes get kind of watery staring at him. Yep. Kind of buggy. Yep. A little vein in the forehead popping out. So my eyes get kind of watery staring at him. Yeah. Kind of buggy.

Yeah. A little vein in the forehead popping out. Like buck seven. Yeah. I feel like, yeah. Okay. You've really thought about this. So then the conversation following this. Yeah. There's no conversation. It's go time. Just strap him down after that, huh? I whip him a couple times.

Do I get you fucking chipped? Yeah. Also, if you run out of ropes, Charlie recommends ratchet straps. Yeah. I'm into that in a different scenario to another caller. So he won't be going anywhere. Better roof, better roof. Oh, that's funny. Or tick tock, like hamster, whatever in the car. You guys hear about that yet? Tick tock hamster. No, what about it? Or if you have sun roof, then you have the little water hamster.

If you have a male and a female, they just kind of lean in from the sun roof. You got hamsters on your car. I'm completely lost. Okay. So, okay. Sun roof female sits in driver's seat. Male is laying on top of car with sun roof open naked. The male has water. Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. Hang on. Can you explain one more time? Cause now I'm just a hamster drink water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now just imagine not drinking water, drinking something else. Okay. From a guy laying on the sunroof. Yes. I see my mom listens to this podcast. Does your mom actually listen? Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, not this episode. She don't know. I'll have to tell her to skip this one. Yeah. Usually skip this part. I should put

that in the writing of this one is first warning. Mother do not listen and then continue on what the podcast is about. But hear me out. Okay. So my best skills fit with the hamster. Oh my God. Your thing. Okay. That's where my best skills lay. So if I ratchet strap him to the roof, could start everything with that and then drop him and then tie him up and all that. Right? Wait, you do what to him and tie him up?

Like just drop him from the roof. Drop him. Just maybe a bed underneath, but just like undo one of the r, drop him just maybe a better, but just like undo one of the ratchets and just let it fall. You know, for the adrenaline rush, like a skydiving from the roof to bed. I see. I see. Man, you're creative. Crazy. I was going to say, so that's a good scenario. I think some of my exes crazy might've actually actually poured out off a little and I'm just trying to process it a different way. Right? Do you think that's part of it? Do you think it's that, I mean,

you're saying he's bored, he's bored, he's bored. Are you a little bored? I don't think I'm honestly too bored. I think I'm just, I don't know. Maybe it is a subconscious like I'm putting on him, but it's coming from me. But I know I'm not born in that area. Maybe I'm just trying to think of a more fun, crazy, out of this world thing to do. And he's just going to have to strap on and be part of the project. Well, I think strap on was the key word there. And we wish you

leave that with the ex house. He can have all that Wow, well, we really appreciate you calling in today. This has been very exciting keep an eye on the mail for our whip and chain and That's we'll put a koozie in there too for you. How does that sound? Only if it comes filled with tippy cow, okay You guys said you're gonna send it for I'd love Love real tippy cats at this time because can't find it nowhere near me. Okay No, we'll take a note down. Yeah, let's let's tell them to get it to the distributor Well, thank you for calling in and right after you finish doing what you're gonna do with your husband

Just tell them that miles and Charlie says hi. All right, I Will look him dead in the eye eye straight face while he's still inside me and say, Charlie says, hello. Cool. Uh, miles too. Yeah. Oh man. You're a, you're a fun one.

I expect a betcha guy. Yeah. I'm saying, Oh, you betcha. There you go. Oh my, well, this is the bathroom. So you I say all you betcha. There you go. Oh my. Well, they go to the bathroom. Do you like Oh, great. What I said, and then I'll go to the bathroom and be like, Oh,

great. I'm glad enough that he can hear. Get a little bit of you guys in there. There you go. God, we could talk to you all day, but I'd have to go to confession. So thank you. I have to go to the confession booth. Yeah. Yeah. There's a timeout booth at this bar.

We'll step in there and we'll tell the good Lord what we heard today. But, uh, Hey, good luck becoming that sexy rodeo clown and, uh, we wish you the best. And if he can't handle the bowl, uh, give them the kitchen, get out of the kitchen. There you have it. Or the ring or the bedroom. Yeah. Thanks. Have a good one. Bye bye. You too. Bye. No. Yeah. Well, miles, I, I usually see him coming. This one I did. I have the time. I was like, dang, I really got hit by that garage door today. You know the time. I was like, dang, I really got hit by that garage door

today. You know? Yeah. I was like, dreaming or not. I don't even know. I don't even know. No, I do honestly think it's her. That's the one that's a scotch board. Um, you know, cause the fellow seems happier than hell, you know? But, and the fellow doesn't seem to be asking for this, but she has detailed plans. I think her plan is, is fellow doesn't seem to be asking for this but she has detailed plans I think her plan is is he doesn't know that he wants it until he gets it is I think what her mentality is You know, yeah, it's like Yeah, so we'll see good luck. Good luck Hey Ashley from Indiana you bet you got think I'd get through. Hey Ashley from Indiana.

You bet you got through. What's on your mind, Ashley? Got a couple bones to pick, gentlemen. Oh, oh, oh, oh, what'd we say? What'd we say? When we say it? We're feeling feisty today, so let's just do it. Let's get after it.

I can imagine, I can imagine. Well, so I thought that it was a cry for help that you might need to like call a female friend or find someone to help out. And your optimal dating advice was to find a step sibling and then date them. Hey, OK. How is Miles? I had been drinking that day. I didn't do the math. Okay. Sorry. I mean, you can, you can call from the end, maybe like one of their sisters.

They're just a damn delight. So maybe you could like call them in somehow. Oh yeah. I call my sisters in. Oh geez. You know, did you listen to the podcast with them or do you know one of them? Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. I listened to the podcast. Oh, yeah. Was it good? It was. Thanks for listening, miles. Oh, when you ever listen to any of my stuff when I'm on it, when I'm on your podcast, I listen usually. And except when I'm not listening now, is this what you called in to divide me and Charlie or what, what is going on here?

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I, I did. That's exactly the reason I did it. Sorry. Are those your two bones to pick with us? No, I also wanted to pick a bone that Indiana has been very underrepresented on this podcast. Well, and I'm personally offended by it. I actually just got a missed call from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Well, that's the wrong part of the state. Oh, part of the state I'm calling from. All right. So you're saying that they're telling me about Indiana. Why does Indiana deserve more recognition?, one, it's not Ohio. I would agree. Wow.

Yeah. Indiana, is this what you need to do to, to, to like climb the Midwest ladder is to throw Ohio under the bus immediately. I see how it is Indiana. I see how it is. I feel like that's hard to do. I mean, I feel like that's like a baby step. All right. I see how it is. I feel like that's hard to do. I mean, I feel like that's like a baby step. OK. That's like, that's the baby step.

All right. What makes Indiana so great? Well, so I live in southern Indiana, so it's beautiful. We have a river, the Ohio. The Ohio River. So it's not even your guys' river. You're just borrowing someone else's river then. It splits these okay between us and Kentucky, so it's a break.

But it's not the Indiana River. Yeah, why isn't it the Indiana River? I live here. It's a great place to live. So yeah, I think that pretty much tells it. And I don't see that coming to Indiana very much. So a little disappointing. OK, so. You're saying that Ohio does are

Indiana deserves more recognition because one, it's not Ohio. And two, you have a river that's named after Ohio. Those are the two bugaboos, the two things or what? Yeah. You might have to do a little better than this. Oh, um, well, it's very country. Okay. Yeah.

I think they're fishing there. I think you're starting to find out a little bit why it doesn't have as much recognition, you know You know what though? I'm gonna say this I Indiana is an unsung hero of the Midwest. There's a lot of great things going on in Indiana Which are Charlie? Well every time I drive through it See you never stop. That's not So you never stop. That's not true. That's not true. That's not helping at all. You guys have a lot of beautiful windmills there on on the drive down capital of the

world. Yeah. You guys got a lot of windmills there. They're in part. Indianapolis is a very fun city. I was out there doing a show and you guys have the NFL draft there every year, right? Combine you have the combine there every year. We have the combine. Yeah, I will have to say I have been to South Bend To go to a Notre Dame game once before and so Yeah, you get exactly yeah, you got Notre Dame. So you got Rudy. We could not have Rudy without Indiana. I'm not a big fan of the movie Rudy, though. Well, Miles, I'm trying to find.

It teaches kids the wrong lesson, you know, if you suck, give up. Let's unpack this. What do you mean? It's the wrong lesson. Yeah, let's unpack this, Miles. Well, it kind of goes along the lines of the whole everyone gets a participation trophy, you know. Oh, OK, let's set this miles. Well, it kind of goes along the lines of the whole everyone gets a participation trophy, you know. Oh, OK. Let's set this up. Miles, why do you really hate Rudy? Because I heard that the story did not go that way in real life.

How did the story actually go? I think it's pretty much like it like he was just like a random guy on the team that happened to get some scrub time in the game, you know. So it's like it wasn't like the whole team rallied around him like that. And I don't even think he really did. He wasn't that he like never actually even got carried off the field and stuff. Yeah, it was just like he went in the game. They're like, whoo. And then they left.

And that was it. Yeah, it was no like hoisting him and carrying him off the field and stuff. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's not a documentary, dude. It's a movie, you know. So what do you not like about the movie? I just told you that's just not it's just not realistic. Yeah, it's a movie. Movies are not supposed to be based on a true story. Yeah, based. It didn't say a true story, except based on a true. Just saying it teaches you,

you shouldn't be just trying to play in the game. You should be trying to win the game is what I mean. Oh, I see, I see. And do you- Wow, cut throat. That's a strong note. That's a strong note on Rudy. Yeah.

Well, what are you doing in- I never said it was a bad movie. I just think it sends the wrong message. Okay, okay. Well, Miles will have to work out that issue on his own. What are you doing? I never said it was a bad movie. I just think it sends the wrong message. Okay. Okay. Well, miles will have to work out that issue on his own. What do you think? What do you do for fun in Indiana? Well, I can tell you what I'm doing right now, which is it's the, uh, the last day

of my kids, two weeks winter break and I'm drinking wine in my closet. So that's what I think. Come to Indiana. I mean, you're just really not selling it. Yeah. Indiana is so great. You are drinking wine in your closet. Indiana is so great. You want to go sit in a room with no windows, with no one there

and drink by yourself. I have three young children, guys. I have three young children. I'm trying to. it's raining outside. Who's watching the kids? I don't know the TV. iPad kids, I love it. I'm a big iPad kid guy. I think I'm going to just slap one in front of my kids someday right out of the womb.

Yep, that's the way to go. But yeah, that's it. As far as outside of that fun we do. We're outside all the time. What do you do? We've had a lot of each other lately. Okay. Well, what do you guys do when you're outside? We ride, we fish, we hike, we camp. And you're doing all this in Indiana. That's awesome. Well, you're in the closet. You cut out. What did you say? I said horseback riding, camping, fishing, hiking.

OK, and she does it all in Indiana. Yeah. And so does Indiana have a lot of nice trails to do that? A lot of good outdoors because it's you. Yeah, it's beautiful. Now my bias to Indiana, my ignorant thoughts, I guess, are that it's a fairly flat state. Is that accurate or not? Well, so you're talking Northern Indiana. That's like the dunes, the windmills, all that stuff. That's very super flat. I love it. Like in the like we're on the Kentucky border and it's very

hilly, very wooded. It's beautiful. Oh, that's awesome. See, we're learning everything new. And so I got a question for you. Yeah. Why do people in Southern Illinois have a heavy Southern accent, but you don't seem

to have that? Have you always lived there? Talk to me about that. I've lived here, I was actually born on the other side of the state, but then I lived here for 20 plus years since college. But people tell me I have a Southern accent if I go anywhere outside of here. So that's very interesting because we're right on the Kentucky border. And if you literally go five miles south, it's like, hey, y'all, welcome to the South. Like it's...

I know. That's what I'm saying. So it makes sense. You grew up in the northern part of Indiana then. Yeah. So we're by Cincinnati, like across the river. Okay. Well, that makes sense then. But yeah, people tell me I have a southern accent because I went to school in Pennsylvania And so they were like are you from Georgia? I'm like no. Why don't you go to school in Indiana if you love Indiana so much? Well, I finished school in Indiana miles When someone says we're gonna give you money to go play a sport you say okay, yes. Oh Okay, what. What sport?

I played volleyball in college. OK, so you are not short. I am not tall and not short. Five, eight. Yeah. In sports, they always oversell it, So we'll just say you're six foot. Um, do you mean I'm underselling my height? Yeah, absolutely. All the programs in sports always add at least right. Yeah, like I'm six one.

Yeah, yeah, it's like guys when they're talking about themselves, it's always a couple more inches than what they actually got, you know. Now, I'm looking at all these things that you can do in Indiana. And I got to tell you, there's a lot I didn't know. Like, you guys have underground caves and stuff. Are you Googling this right now? Yeah, I mean, I like you. I'm trying to help you talk to her about playing college volleyball. We haven't had very many athletes call in. Oh, well, I'm, I like you, I'm trying to help you. I want to talk to her about playing college volleyball.

We haven't had very many athletes call in. Oh, well, I'm sorry, continue. I'll just keep looking at these capes. So what was your position in volleyball? I was an outside hitter. So you could really smack it then is what you're saying. Yeah, that's the goal. Okay, you picked a few bones with us.

I got a bone to pick with you. OK, God, what? Why after every single point, do volleyball players cheer and act like they just won the championship? And you have organized cheers and everything that happened. What's up with that? Well, I feel like organized cheers is more like high school and younger. But I mean, there's a lot of strategy and effort that goes into every play. So it's fun to celebrate

it because it's so fast paced. I know, but a football team doesn't get a 10 yard run and then get back to the huddle and they all high-five and cheer and slap each other's asses and go like you know they don't they don't do that every time what's have you ever gone zip lining okay could you imagine after every single basket that they scored in basketball they pause the game and then everyone would high-five and cheer and get together in a circle. I feel like that's a real missed opportunity, to be honest. So I'm I'm I feel like

this all does a lot of like, let's hit our helmets together and like just that is true. So that is actually that was a good point. I'll give you that one. So I don't think and I feel like there's a lot of butt slap in a basketball. So that's true Oh, if you're I don't think you got you got an angle on that one It's more so the like the rah rah cheering that kind of rubs me the wrong way. It's like It's kind of the same along the lines of the my Rudy take of you know, you score the point just like you did last time.

Walk back to the huddle and do it again. You know, guys, I'd like to interrupt real quick. Hand the ball to the ref and then walk back to the huddle and do it again. If you go to Harrison County, Indiana, you can spend time ziplining. Miles, pick up the microphone. Zip lining, doing kayaking, and explore these caves. And also there's the historic Corden and Harrison County where you can see all these cool buildings.

John Dillinger spent a lot of time there. You can do the bootlegging tour. Indiana's a fantastic place, guys. Okay, you can continue. how are you for tourism? Well, I just basically all Barron's does these days. What's that? You just do tourist ads for everything. Pretty much. Hey there guy. I'm up here in Green Bay at the Packer game. The 15 best things to do in Indiana with photos. All right. What do you have any questions about volleyball for?

We've never had someone call in that's a college volleyball player and you're sitting there Googling facts about Indianapolis 500 about trails and biking. The Indy 500. There's so much to do about hiking. Have you have a medium to tall gal on the line that's played volleyball? I want you to ask her some questions about it. Okay. All right. What's the most I'm nervous. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Who like the quarterback is

obviously the top dog on the football team. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Who like the quarterback is obviously the top dog on the football team, yeah? Okay, sure. And so who is the quarterback typically? Is it the one who bumps, sets or spikes? Yeah, who's like the one that's like the superstar? So first off you say pass that hit, not bump that spike. So that's one way.

Well, said Spike's miles. Little cooler miles. Don't don't. You can't argue with her. She's a professional volleyball. She's not what she's a she's a college. She's an amateur. I'm aggressively mediocre D two volleyball player.

So let's like, okay, well, the break. Wait, currently you currently are in college. No, no, she's currently drinking wine in her closet. Miles. Geez. I have three children in college. So that really sucks. Actually, you missed the whole NIL thing, too. You really couldn't be a professional or you get paid for your

name image. My brother played collegiate football and he like got in in the tail end of the NIL stuff and like bought like a really nice bike with it. And I was like damn it. So you know where you can use that bike? That's one piece. Indiana has great trails. On the trails of Indiana. Yeah.

And if you get sick of the trails, Fort Wayne has a wonderful children's zoo. God. Oh, so who is the quarterback of the volleyball team? Better. What? The center, the center, the center is like, like big swing and take on campus. All the hand signals, she's telling you what you're going to do, how you're going to do it. When you're in the public, do, how you're going to do it. When you're going to do it.

No, but the public, like when the media wants to do an interview after the game, are they interviewing the setter or who are they interviewing? Well, I mean, volleyball doesn't get as much media coverage shockingly as other sports, but I would say probably, yeah, true. Yeah. Yeah. True. Yeah. Um, I would probably say like the middle hitter because always like the big super crazy athletic ones, but the starter runs the show. Okay. So the unsung heroes. Yeah. So the middle hitter is the answer to your question. Middle hitter. Yeah. You want to, you want to be a middle hitter. The answer to your question.

Okay. Real good. Yeah. Well, that this is, yeah, this is fascinating. I, I, I myself did not play much volleyball and I wasn't very good at it when I did. So don't your guys's arms hurt when the ball smashes against them really hard? No, not really. It does hurt when you get hit. well, cause you like, you get used to it. Okay. Like a little callus. Your bones and your muscles get used to it. But it does hurt when you get hit in the face.

I've gotten hit in the face real hard. So that, that hurts. That'll happen. You know, I like a, I like a girl with a nice set of calluses on her forearms. That's really, really good. Do you play in the sand too? No, I'm horrible in the sand. I played like two times and it was awful.

How, I mean, how does that not translate? Are you kidding me? Running in the sand so much harder than running on a court. No, I know it's harder. You would think that it would be like a one for one. Thank you. But like it's literally everything that you have learned on an indoor court does not translate at all

to an outdoor court. Give me an example. Okay, I'll give you an example. And I don't even play sliding. You can slide on your knees on an indoor deal. You're not doing any knee sliding. You're all diving, all dives on the sand. There's also an itch factor.

You got that much sand going everywhere. It's gonna be pretty itchy. And I'm having to deal with that element's something you don't think about. That's true. Was I right about the knee sliding thing or no? Well, as far as like movement on the court, yes. You're right, you're correct.

Okay. But it's also like jumping like on the beach. You got to deal with wind? You mean elements? Yeah, the elements. Sun beating down, sand in your crack, wind, the whole thing. Yep, all of it. That's a no-go for me. Done it a few times, no thank you. Okay, have you ever? I need to, press this into record please. Have you ever been to Horseshoe Hammond?

No. No? I don't think so. Take that as no. Looks like some gambling goes on there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the casino. No, I've not been there. Oh, okay.

Well, that's another thing to do in Indiana. There's a great casino in France. Oh, well you need to check out French Lick, which is a real place, Larry Bird's hometown. Oh yeah, French Lick, Indiana. Who named that town? Is that on your? I don't know, but they have some issues. Yeah. They're like, are they lost? They lost a bet, I don't know, but they have some issues.

Yeah. They're like, are they lost? They lost a bet. I don't know. I think that's how you get COVID by French look in Indiana, you know? I think that's it. I think you got it.

Thanks, Belchy. Have you been to the dunes? Yes, I've been to the dunes. I mean, they're beautiful. Guys, Indiana has so much. I got a Napoleon Dynamite when the grandma goes to the dunes with her boyfriend. Oh, the Children's Museum in Indianapolis has some amazing dinosaur exhibit. Anyway. You are just a wealth of knowledge.

Well, I'm just doing a quick Google here. The Wellfield Botanic Gardens. I mean, that's now on my list too. God, look at these trees. They got it. They've got a Japanese garden there, a Zen garden. Holy smokes. Indiana's really cool. Have you been to the city market in Indianapolis? I have. It's real nice there. Yeah. Charlie, at some point, she's going to have to come out of the closet. And I didn't even try to do that. Are you judging me?

No. Miles. Yeah. What's wrong? I was mostly saying she's got kids she needs to take. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm on. Yeah. Sorry. A last one. Exotic. She did. Yeah. Exotic Feline Rescue Center. That's the last one, exotic feline rescue center.

That's the last one I'll say. You can see some lions and not feel bad about it. So anyways, that's that. But yeah, I'm really glad you called in and picked this bone. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, should we let you go? Is this a Midwest goodbye now?

Yes, yeah, I think so. All right. I can't hear you crying yet, but who knows? Silence is actually the thing you don't want. Something's going on. Alright guys, well thanks so much. See ya, thank you. I don't know what you saw, but I'm sure it was super inappropriate. No, it wasn't. It wasn't bad at all.

Alright, bye bye. So nice nice you to call in now. What did you say about inappropriate? No, she thought you were saying some inappropriate. It's so funny how many of our callers are trying to get off the horn with us. Well, I feel like the last two. Why? Because all you wanted to do is read Google. That's a really good. That's really good podcast.

And Charlie, well, you know, sorry, we can't all talk about volleyball. Miles, it's just it's a topic we've never covered on this podcast. I was diving into it. Miles, when are you going to propose to me? I really spiked that segment. It was good. I set it up. I would have liked for you to set it up.

Yeah, see I already beat you to that punch line. Jeez, Louise. Speaking of that, I gotta get another bump here. Yeah. Hi, Charlie, this is Evan. How are you? Evan, I'm doing good. How are you?

I'm good. Nice to hear from you boys, eh? Nice to hear from you. Are you in Canada? What's going on? Calling calling from Buffalo. Sorry. Close enough. Damn near. Yeah. Look at Canada from my bedroom window pretty much. So yeah, I got a question for you. Need some relationship advice a little bit. Relationship advice. You came to the right spot. You did.

relationship advice came to the right spot. You did. Well, during the winter months, I make maple syrup on the side of what I normally do. And usually it's early morning. Sometimes in the afternoons usually goes up until about 11 o'clock at night, sometimes midnight, suck her in down some good old latte's and everything and then come home. And the miss isn't too pleased until she tastes the syrup the next day. So I guess the real question is, how do I try to get her off my back a little bit from making syrup?

Well, isn't that the age old question, Charlie? How do you keep the old ball and chain off my back a little bit from making syrup. Well, isn't that the age old question, Charlie? How do you keep the old ball and chain off your back? Well, here's the deal, Miles. I've seen you interact with Ann, you know, and you kind of talk a big game, but apparently you're a big old cuddle bug when no one else is. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. That's what I heard at the bar last night.

No, I don't know. That's what I heard. Only when I'm sick. Hang on, Evan, I need some clarification. So basically, sure, around maple syrup time, you're tapping trees, doing your thing, she gets annoyed you're tapping trees doing your things. She gets annoyed You're working too much. Is that the short story here? Long story short. Yeah, okay director by day and then maple syrup

Producer by night pretty much funeral director. Let's hold on with that. We're gonna dive into that in a little bit here Okay, there's the maple syrup. I knew that would open up a can of worms. Yeah. This is a sticky situation getting even stickier. Sorry, miles. I took your line. That was miles his line.

Um, see, I gave you credit. So how much money? Well, how many days a year are you going out and you're gone till 11 PM? Is it like every weekend, every weekdays? Well, how, how often? So pretty much I'll start tapping trees around first week in February. And then, uh, usually it's about two to three boils a week going up until about the, uh, about third to fourth week in March.

Sometimes it pushes in April depending on the season. About two months somewhere around there. Yeah, pretty much. Two months. Is it every day for two months? Not every day. Pretty much every other day I'm up at the farm checking trees, checking the buckets, all that sort of stuff. And then once I have enough, which is usually every three days or so, then I'm running a

nice long boil pretty much. And are you making money off this? I haven't made a penny yet. I just did a real test this year. I'm giving away about two and a half gallons of syrup for my brother's wedding next week is wedding favors. So now I know I can make it and I can do it next year. This coming season, uh, start February.

I'll hopefully be making some money and I've been doing it for about five years now. Nice. Okay. Well, why don't you bring her with? See, she gets bored very easily. She's the kind of woman I love her to death. Absolutely love her to death. She's the kind of woman who will tell me, Hey, let's watch a movie. And then she passes out within 10 minutes. Yeah. Well, her attention span isn't quite there. Do you have any kids?

Zero. Okay. Well, from what I understand, if you're going to take a kid to church, you don't just take a kid to church. You bring along their toys and a bag of Cheerios. True. So you could think about that option. You know, that could change the game for if you got a little mini iPad in there and a bag of Cheerios might not be as boring. What does your wife like to do? You know, she likes to build Legos, believe it or not. That's her new kick. He came absolutely out of nowhere loves to build Legos. So I might have to go to the Lego store and get her a nice little Lego. Well, you're gonna have to suck You're gonna have to sell some more maple syrup first though. Those Legos are an expensive deal, you know I know I just bought her a whole I just bought her a whole flower set from target the other day for her birthday

50 freaking dollars. Holy. Small little 200 piece set for Legos. Aye. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I think, I think that that's probably going to have to be the compromise. You shower her in Legos and she'll let you play with your trees. Play with some tree juice, you know, might as well. I mean, heck. Yeah. I think it might be that simple. Now the, did you guys buy this property five years ago? Nope.

Nope. So this piece of property that we call the farm, we have absolutely zero animals on it. But, uh, and my girlfriend makes fun of me all the time. Uh, it's a family property. My great grandfather bought it way back in the early or mid 1900s. And it's been in our family ever since. That's cool. Seven generations now. That's great. And I'm just. Out of our whole family. Well, this maple syrup, you start selling it. I think, you know, there's probably a little tax thing

you can take advantage of over on your property. So there might be some financial incentive for her to use. And then you use that, you know, to your benefit. Say, hey, the more this makes, the more Legos you get. So she sees that direct correlation. You know, I think you're absolutely right. And I don't mind. I, well, I was going to, I was going to say, you could also steer the conversation into shedding light on something.

It's only about two months out of the year. And so have her try not to focus too much on the two months that you're busy and focus on the 10 months that you're not as busy and you're around a lot more. Could be a good move too. You know, you know, on our very first date, she asked me, what was the, or what kind of things do you like to do and I told her from the very get-go from September 1st to about April 1st if I'm staying I'm going out hunting I'm going out hunting I'm going out I'm going out if I'm making syrup I'm making syrup and she didn't take too very kindly to that

but guess what she's been around for three years now. So I mean, I don't know. It's that stretch from April 1st to August 31st that she gets me pretty much. I'm always there for whenever she does, but just trying to keep her team to not keep hide. I guess I say no turn on trying to make sure up. It's it's a fishing Out a lot of details, okay It's the hunting, the fishing, the skiing. He left out a lot of details. Okay, you buried that. I mean, I think now is your sweet spot time of the year where you've got to hang out with

her and annoy the living hell out of her. So she's thankful you're getting out of her hair. Be overly nice. Try and be overly helpful with the Legos. Hey, I'll look for a four-picer for you. You need a four-picer. I'll find it There you go. You help her with the Legos to the point where she wants you out of your life For at least six months. That's how you do it. You guys have basically says six months you're off the radar

For about three months you guys have a great relationship those last two you got to invest in making her wanting you to leave And then you do yeah, you got to be way too well on the radar in the offseason for you. Yeah Yeah Annoy the hell out you know I definitely I definitely called the right people for some relations Ship advice you guys Sorry, you know? Now let's get into these. And while I got you guys on the phone, my girlfriend and I, we just went up to Green

Bay, Wisconsin over the summer and visiting one of her girlfriends that works in one of the school districts up there. And I told her, we got to stop at sleep farm and holy Jesus was that freaking amazing. You don't have any of those around here but oh my god my girlfriend wanted me to get out of that store within five minutes and I said hell no we gotta go through the whole damn store. Well they got a lot of maple syrup equipment there, don't they? Sure do. They also have toy line there. I wonder if you could get her some Legos there and you know, show her the toy line next time. I ended up with a gene vest, one of them denim vests from there and she says you, I'm not catching you wearing that thing around here.

And I started laughing. The very first thing I first thing I did before we hopped on the plane was go to the bathroom and threw that sucker on and holy crap was that thing comfortable I bet you was pretty turned on by that speaking of being turned on you work with the dead. Am I your first few hundred after on the podcast? I try to remember. I think I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Well, belly up to the bar and tell us what's on your mind about being a funeral director.

Well, usually when I belly up to a bar and people ask me what do I do, I just say I'm in the medical field. I don't even tell them I'm a field director because it causes all the million and one questions. But no, I'm a field director here in New York State, fifth generation. My great-great-grandfather started it in 1893 and pretty much in a nutshell was got off the golf course one day playing high school golf and was thinking about going to college to play.

I said there's more to life than playing a game of golf. I went and shadowed my dad for a couple days and said, why don why not? Let's just try it. And then ended up here and it's been about eight years, nine years now I've been licensed. And it's, believe it or not, it's actually kind of fun. You got it. You gave up a career in golf for a career playing with dead bodies. Slightly.

I wasn't quite good enough to go pro or anything like that, but I knew what I wanted to do was to help people. So I'm like, it's an open opportunity. And it was one of those shooting from the hip types of things. And I said, why not? Let's just take it, roll with the punches and see what happens.

And here I've been ever since for eight years. You ever dealt with someone who got shot from the hip? Yeah. Uh, sadly, yes. Yeah. Charlie, I know you've got a lot of questions for them. Yeah. Are you in the, um, are you in the, uh, preparation of the body? Uh, is that part of your job or are you just dealing with the people? Nope. I'm in all aspects.

So I'm going out to houses and nursing homes and hospitals and receiving scouting, uh, decedent syndrome or archipelago. And then I'm also preparing the deceased for viewings as well. Got it. got it. So now what are the top three questions? Once people find out you're a funeral director, what are their top three questions? Oh boy.

The one I get a lot is, do I take the gold teeth out of their mouths? The answer is yes. And the answer is no. No? their mouths? The answer is no, no. That's why he's got to do the maple syrup gig. He's too honorable of a funeral director. What now what you're doing is you're just inspiring grave robbers. They know that there's gold sitting in each of them graves. Yeah. And when his girlfriend could see you got all this money in these people's mouths, and yet you got to go and do maple syrup.

Yeah, one little pliers could make up for all that time. Do people get buried in rings? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Every state's different to a certain extent but pretty much here in New York it's you can pretty much bury a decedent with whatever the family wants to have inside the casket. As long as that casket is closed and shut you can have whatever kind of services you want and that person can be buried with whatever they want

Have you ever seen a body fall out of a casket? Believe or not. No, no Question for the living for you We were talking on our podcast you betcha radio found raw podcast be found We were discussing on when is too early to start looking at a plot in a cemetery. Do you have any advice on that? Should we be looking now to find some prime real estate or can I wait a little later? Well here's my experience. It's never too late to do anything. And there's two things that you'll never escape, and it's death and taxes.

So my piece of advice is if you're thinking about being buried in a cemetery, buy your plot now. That way it's cheaper in the long run because you can prepay everything all set, ready to go right now, not pay a single penny more when your time comes and it's gonna be a lot cheaper now than it will be in the future because one thing God ain't making more of in its plan. Yeah. When are they gonna,

do you think these cemeteries are gonna be around for a while? I mean, people can't just keep dying and throwing them in land You know, right that's got to be going away cemeteries Well here in New York what they just started doing as of January 1st is what they call body composting Oh, yeah, our governor our governor signed it into law but the problem with that is that nobody really knows what

the whole process is. And apparently this is going to be the next big up and coming thing instead of cremation is going to be all this body composting stuff. And what they're realizing with some of the tests that they've done with it is it takes about two years for your body to become into soil but then that soil is contaminated because of all the medications that all these people are taking so it's not really even composting at all it's just disintegration. Yeah pretty much and then with the bones they can't even Crush up those bones like what cremator remains are because those bones are still soft They can't be cremulators that these crematories are using they can't even crush up any of the bones

Yeah, it's probably body count. It's probably good You tell people that you're just in the medical field when you go to a bar after hearing that. Yeah. So what's what's the best way to go? The best people are doing that for the planet. Is that the deal? Say that again. Are they doing that for environmental reasons?

Way to die. Well, what's what's the easiest way to get rid of your body when it's gone? You see I'm not in the field of getting rid of buys I'm in I'm in the service of planning a funeral and letting somebody be able to say goodbye to their loved one Whether that's burial or creep whether it's burial or whether it's cremation. And both of those are ways of simple cremation. Yeah. If you just want a simple cremation and have a memorial service with a nice photo, if that makes you feel happy, then great.

We'll do that for you. But if you need to see your loved one one last time, then have a, like a master or a service of some sort. We could do that as well. So to me, it's not necessarily. Go ahead. How much do you charge for Viking funerals? Sadly, it's illegal. It is. Oh, damn it. Well, what they what the government don't know, they don't know how much you charge. I don't know because I've never done one before. Good answer.

Okay. Um, back one last question on the pool cemetery plot. You think Charlie and I can get a two for one deal? Yeah. I want to be buried next to miles. Yeah. Yeah. Some cemeteries, what they do is they'll sell you side by side graves or double depth graves.

All right. Double depth. That'd be cool. some cemeteries, what they do is they'll sell you side by side graves or double depth graves. That'd be cool. I say eternal bunk beds. I get top bunk. Yeah, that's fine. I'm going to decompose. There's a lot of liability with that. Yeah. How much, how much does a plot like that cost? Like a single plot you're depending on on the cemetery because every single cemetery is different. You could be looking at the price range of about a thousand to two thousand dollars. And then for like a side by side grave, just double that pretty much. Man, that's kind of a sunk cost. Don't you think?

It sounds really sounds like a sunk cost. Don't you think it sounds like a dirty business? It is. It is. It can be. What's the weirdest? What's the weird? What's the weirdest thing you've seen in the funeral business? Oh God, weirdest thing. I've had a family want to come in and have their loved one cremated and then flush their loved ones cremator remains down a toilet and a bar because that's where this lady's husband piss all this money away. Oh, what a bird. I really hope. And doesn't listen to this. Cause that's what she's going to do to me when I'm gone. I love that resentment. Did you do it for them? No, why? All I did was I picked up the loved one, met with the family, had the loved one cremated and then handed back the cremator remains to the family. Whether or not they actually did that or not,

I have no idea, don't wanna know, don't need to know. Did they give you a Folger's tin for the ashes? I've had people actually do that before too. Yeah. I've had people do that before. Stick me in the coffee can or in the cookie jar and put me up on the mantle Yep, that's fun. That's fun. That's a good story got any other humdingers. I Don't know I mean I get a lot of weird requests every every no and again, but nothing

The sad part is about funeral services that nothing surprises me anymore every time I think something that I've seen it all no I haven't yeah no I haven't same with the bar industry I think Charlie we've seen it all you know I know we haven't I think I think if I go I'm gonna say cut me up and spread me around you know know what I mean? Like the organs, get the organs out, right? If you're an organ donor, do you just stuff some pillows in there or how does that work? Nope, nope, nope. Nope. What do you do?

I pretty much, what I pretty much do is I just preserve you to that state and, What I pretty much do is I just preserve you to that state and clean you up and medically embalm you so you are viewable and I'll pretty much leave it at that. There's some things that just that are just stuck here in the trade that I don't really talk about. Let's say I die and I want the tummy tuck package. Do you do that afterwards? It's got to be cheaper than getting one in real life, right? Good question.

If I want to look like a chiseled model in the casket, can you do that for me? In theory, you could. Not necessarily practical, but in theory you could. Yeah. To a certain extent. Give me a six pack. I can't give you a six. I can't give you a six pack and a casket, but I can I can take a couple of pounds.

Well, you're not as good as I thought you were, but I think you could do it. What's the weirdest clothes? What's the weirdest clothing you've ever buried someone in? Weirdest clothing. First one that comes to my mind was a gentleman who ran a predominant dairy factory here in Buffalo, and multi multi multi millionairemillionaire huge corporation we laid them out in a spam t-shirt and a pair of jeans. That a boy. I love that. That a boy. Anyone ever Donald Duck in it in the coffin? No. No. If wanted Donald Duck, it would you be opposed?

I mean, you can't see anything anyway. They're they're covered, you know, get that. I have had the request of somebody wanting to be viewed, but naked Donald Duck. And I told them, look, here's what I'll do. When we have you for the viewing, I will have you close but once everybody leaves and it's time for me to close the casket and I know that casket isn't opening back up I will unclose you. So

it was not acceptable. I mean, hey, if that's what the gentleman wanted, that's what the gentleman wanted and I's what the gentleman wanted. And I'll give it to them. So nice. Meet them halfway to a certain extent. What? Okay. Okay. Well, man, this has been great. Yeah. Really eye opening. Anybody ever want to make themselves a, like a sushi platter before they go you know like make themselves the buffet table oh you know body sushi body no no no i have not maybe we'll inspire some of that after this podcast you know hey shout out your business what's the name of your business let's get you

What's the name of your business? Let's get you, you know. Maybe he doesn't want that. Well, I don't know. No, no, I probably shouldn't be saying exactly what business I work for. We lost a little trust along the way, didn't we? It was the Donald Ducking comment, huh? I guess you could say so.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. All right, man. But no, it's an honor to be an interview director. It really is. Yeah. Well, I appreciate you calling in, man. This is great. Super fun. Absolutely. Absolutely.

And I just got to give one quick shout out to the Buffalo Bills. Go Bills, baby. You know, respect the Bills, respect the Bills. You guys have been through a lot. Yeah. Oh yeah. Speaking of certainly have being buried six feet under. Oh yeah. Yeah. A lot of miss field goals. Um, but, uh, good luck to you guys this year. Good luck to you.

Thanks boys. Go Packers too. All right. Break a table for me this year. Huh?