Bellied Up - Best of Bellied Up: Volume 3

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Thanks for listening! We will have new episode next week! 4:05 - Electrician Wants a Snow Machine26:09 - Baker is Tired of snow birds41:39 - Midwest Nice Vs. Southern Hospitality 1:05:41 - Girlfriend FaceTime’s Too Much1:15:31 - Illinois Goes to Therapy1:28:45 - Louisiana Break in1:46:07 - Cale and Bronco2:02:42 - Tarot Card Reading2:27:45 - Sally from Wisconsin3:00:24 -Fun activities for rehab3:21:54 - Bartender Amanda3:36:43 - Relaxing road rage3:52:53 - School Bus Driver

Welcome back everybody to another episode of the bellied up podcast. I'm here with my friend Charlie Barron's and we're at the old town tavern. The OTT you down with OTT. Yeah. You know me down with OTT. Yeah. You know, Steve, I know Steve, my name's not Steve. Um, they got an Appleton, Charlie got a beer claw here. Miles to beer claw. The claw chooses who can come. Who? Okay. So you just go pick a beer. All them beers. Oh shit. Hot coffee, hot coffee. Oh, my. Sorry, too. Fuck, that's all over you. Oh, man. Is that wet? Yeah, it is. Sugar tits.

I'm so sorry, Miles. I didn't mean it, dude. I was looking at the beer claw. Oh, that's going to stain on that nice sweatshirt, too. I am so sorry. Let me help you. Sorry. Sorry. You really got to pat my dick. Well, I'm patting around your deck. All right. Trying to help. I'm sorry. The only sweatshirt I brought. Really? Yeah. Well, I have to raw dog my arms all fucking

Trip how did it spill that? the airport Can't believe did that oh I'm so sorry you can spill on me later if you want. Let me wipe off. This is a classic situation Wipe off you hit your you hit your brother a little bit too hard So then instead of telling mom you're no, you can hit me back even harder. Oh geez. You know, I, it's not my fault. It is the beer clause fault. I mean, who puts a beer claw in a bar and doesn't expect the accidents like this to happen. Oh, sorry, Miles. You OK? You gonna be all right? Yikes. Yes, I am going to be OK.

Damn, that sucks. Although I may have to sue you now, because that was some pretty hot coffee. And I don't know what kind of burns I'm going to get underneath these pants. Well, unfortunately, it's a Yeti coffee cup, which means it doesn't work. So that was your first mistake, Charlie. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Oh, maybe next time, try closing the lid when you're not using it. How about Habitat for Humanity, folks?

I was a plug charity at a moment like that. I was just over trying to make you seem like a better human. Just over there this morning helping them put together a few houses for the less fortunate. And Miles is worried about a little bit of spilled coffee. You know? It's all about keeping things in perspective. And that's what I want the kids out there to know.

Hey, Miles, you know the worst part about coffee when it spills is the smell after. Yeah. Just smells like crotch rot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know that my good pants to those are your good. I'm gonna have to utilize the laundry at the hotel. Oh, man. Dunce. Wow. Yeah. You know, if you're doing laundry at the hotel, someone wrong, something went wrong. Go wrong. You know, people aren't just planning on doing laundry at the hotel. Well, anyway, how's your day going? Otherwise, it's still going good, Charlie. All right. You know, I'm used to stuff like

this with you. Now folks, this was not planned. Okay. They don't think we just did this for a cheap bit off the top of the show. Miles is sincerely pissed off right now. And yeah, nothing you can do about it, though. It's in the past. The past is the past. Miles, you want to play the beer machine? Just the wrong time to ask, but do you have quarters? Holy shit, is do you have quarters? Holy shit, is this the belly up stand pass?

Oh my God, hold on, I'm on the phone for a minute. I'm still doing it. What's up, boy? How you doing? I'm doing fantastic, how are you guys? Oh, fantastic too. Yeah. That's great. What are you doing right now? You sound out of breath. I'm at, I'm at work on the, on the Foreman, but we're okay. We're safe in the truck.

What were you, if you're the Foreman, what were you doing out of the truck? You know, I'm a fool. I had my bags on. I should have known better. What do you do? What do you do for work? Where do you work at? I'm an electrician. I'm an electrician in Missoula, Montana. Oh, we got a sparky on our hands. There we go. What was the last time you electro, electrocuted yourself? Oh, boys, I electrocuted myself in front of a whole office in the main building.

Yeah. Were you on something tall? Did you fall with it too? No, no. Luckily, I was making up a switch. And I was, I was just trying to get it done and doing it hot. And I accidentally touched the live screw and I, I did a jump and I made it and the, and the gal behind me and the, behind the desk goes, Oh my goodness, are you okay? She wanted to, she wanted to call the cops on me.

He touched the hot wire and turned into Michael Jackson. So are you wearing a quarter zip car, hard sweatshirt right now? You're you're close. I'm wearing a blaze orange car, hard sweatshirt. All right, there we go. Quarter zip car, hard sweatshirt is a uniform for all electricians. I swear. Charlie. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. And the, and the really expensive hard hat, because we just make all the money that is true. You guys have someone, you have a limo driver, pick you up and take you home from work every day too. It's, it's not, it's not a limo driver. It's I bought us. I bought a Ferrari and I have my chauffeur drive me. That is a baller move. You buy a Ferrari and don't even drive it. Oh man. Well,

Connor, why don't you belly up with us? You, Connor is like you said, from Montana and he is wondering how he can convince his wife to let him buy a snow machine. Is that true? Connor? That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Me and my wife just learned that we're pregnant just in time for snow mobile season. Congratulations. Congratulations. Well, she's on the sex by the way. Yeah. Good for you. I've done it at least once. We can prove it. Well, not yet. If she's just pregnant. Yeah. Could come out not looking like you. You know, if it comes out anything other than redhead, I'll be suspicious. Yeah. I got a kid with blonde hair and blue eyes, so I'm pretty suspicious as well. Hey, I have blue eyes. Charlie, watch it. Make you a face in the wrong direction. You should have been facing East. You're probably facing West.

All right. So yeah, your wife doesn't want you to buy a snow machine, huh? That's exactly right. I have enough to get a snow machine, but she says that paying the hospital bills to pull this baby out of her is more important. Well, here's something to keep in mind, all right? First and foremost, Ferraris are not known for driving in the snow very good.

So you got to have a snow machine to get her to the hospital. That is true. Yeah. The hospital bills can take care of themselves after the fact. All right. I agree. I've been trying to tell her if we get a free snow storm, my Ferrari won't make it to the grocery store. But a snow machine sure will. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And it's much easier to put a car seat on the back of a snowmobile

than in a Ferrari. Yeah. Yes it is. Oh yeah. You just got enough tie downs. I could make it work. There you go. He's ratchet straps. The kid on the snow machine. That's kids not going anywhere. Not going anywhere. Your wife can ride behind in a toboggan. No, I mean, I look, I think, I mean, how much, what's the going rate to have a kid these days? Shoot, Miles, it sounds like, it sounds like you'd know best. My wife is a nurse and she has hospital healthcare, but it sounds like the going rates about a

double deductible. So it sounds like it'd be about $6,000, which would be a slick sled. Yeah. That sounds about right. That sounds about right. Yeah. I mean, in reality it's like, why can't you just have both? You know? Yeah. Yeah. I know you're an electrician and you have expensive tastes, but just maybe get a use snow machine. That's a little cheaper. Yeah. And by now think about it later. That's the American way. All right. Put that baby on a layaway. Shoot. I forgot. I have a credit card. Yeah. Right. Right. Rack it up. Yeah. Um, I imagine that uh, after he had done the deed, you know, you get that post nut clarity immediately

afterwards. He was like, Oh, I just lost my snow machine. He's just sitting on the end of the bed, smoking a cigarette going, God, what could have been? Head in the hand. Just looking out the window. When my wife asks what's wrong, yeah, when my wife asks what's wrong, I just gotta say nothing, don't worry about it. Honey, we're pregnant.

Damn it! Yeah! Now what you have to do to convince your wife is to prove to her that a snow machine is not a sunk cost, it's an investment in your fatherhood. You are going to be so much more relaxed as a dad, you're going to be so much better of a parent by having this snow machine in your life. From a very practical standpoint, it's an escape vehicle. If you guys get a lot of snow out there in Montana, what if a grizzly bear comes

and knock and tears apart your Ferrari? You guys have nowhere to go. You need that snow machine. Oh, absolutely. I think you hit it on the head. When I was told when I become a dad, I'm going to have to fall into one of the dad categories and I can't play golf for shit. So I'll be the snowmobile dad Exactly exactly You know, you still could do the golf because a lot of us still can't play golf for shit and that doesn't stop us

So yeah, you could do you could do golf on a snow machine Have that be winter golf have that be your golf cart. Just paint the golf balls neon orange. Yeah, you can even do like a golf polo on the snow machine, like, you know, that would be fun. That's a whole new sport. That's how you pay for it. That is the best redneck sport I've ever heard of.

Yes, and we just invented it here. Okay. So get the snow machine. It's winter now and start shooting videos of you playing snow low that snow polo and, and you're going to, you are going to be a multimillionaire, my guy. And then you can have all the babies you want. Oh, that is genius. Okay. I might. That's, do you think the YouTube handle snow low has been taken? No, not a chance. No, it is just came out of the dome. Yeah. And this comes out later. So you have time to get that handle. Yeah. Get the handle and start shooting these videos,

man. We got, you got money to make and say, babe, think about all the kids we can have when we're multimillionaires. Does she want more than one kid? She was she she wants the one, but I keep telling her either two or four. So we don't end up with the oldest middle, the youngest syndrome. I got news for you. That syndrome exists no matter how many kids you got. I'm one of 12. We've just got like 10 middle children. We all have attention issues. That's why I'm on this podcast

right now. That's a great point. Now, one thing to think about too, save some money on the hospital bills. Just your wife's a nurse. She's got to know what to do. She knows how to do it. Have a home birth. Yeah. You guys got a good bathtub? I got, I got a bathtub. We can, we can do that. I see she's really, she gets cold really quickly. So I would have to be just filling the water and empty and keeping her warm the whole time. We could, we could do that.

Yeah. just fill in the water and empty and then keeping her warm the whole time. We could, we could do that. But I think, I think the difficulty would be more on my side for that kind of a pregnancy. That's too much work for me. We'll get yourself a mid wife cost money, Charlie, less money towards the snow machine. We'll give the mid wife free snow machine. You brought up YouTube. There's YouTube as a video for everything. There's gotta be a tutorial on how to have a home birth up YouTube. There's YouTube as a video for everything. There's gotta be a tutorial on how to have a home birth on YouTube. Yeah. We know half of your electrical work is you YouTube in it before you go in and do this. And the time that he electrocuted himself in front of all those people is he didn't look at it on YouTube or he was looking

at YouTube while he was doing it. That's a great idea. So I'll tell my pregnant nurse wife to just pick up some, some of the while he was doing it. That's a great idea. So I'll tell my pregnant nurse wife to just pick up some, uh, some overtime shifts and I can get my snow machine. That's not what we said. Okay. That is the worst. That's the worst idea ever. I love, I love how our solution isn't just trade in your Ferrari for something a little bit more

economical. You can't do that. No. Okay. So the best thing I'm hearing right now is home birth and then I can have them both. Correct. Don't forget Snow Low. All right. Yeah. Yeah. And Snow Low.

Yeah. And Snow Low. I mean, how hard can it be? I, you know, I went through it once. It's really just getting under center and going blue 42, high brown, high brown, baby comes out. I've been listening to the, I've been listening to you betcha podcast about Ryan's birth and sounds like all he had to do was hold a leg and play air guitar. I figured I could do that. That's it, man. That's all it is. I was a smart one though. I didn't have to do any work. The nurse asked me if I wanted to hold the leg. I said, no, you got it. What else am I paying you for? You know, I'm not, I'm not one to fall for the scam where you

go to those restaurants where you have to cook the food and you pay more money to do it. I think those are dumb. Yeah. That's like going to the, going to the a grocery store and you checking it out. You're like, do I work here now? Yeah. Self checkout is a racket. Self checkout for a baby. So I can kind of get skip some things past the scanner. Yeah. Oh man. Now, well, congratulations on both your baby and your new snow machine. Do you know what you're having yet or are you guys waiting? We just had our first ultrasound, but she's gonna want to do some kind of baby reveal. And I told her we can do a baby reveal as long as we burned down a little bit of forest.

You sound like the rest of the country. Oh, perfect. Perfect. Okay. What gender reveals should he do? He should do it. Okay. So you get, you tell her that it's going to be either you guys get a pink snow machine or a blue snow machine. Yeah, there you go. But really it's gonna be a red snow machine because you probably don't want a pink one.

Although a pink snow machine could kind of be cool. Or you put some sort of fluid in the exhaust. Well, that's gonna ruin it. But wouldn't it be cool if you could like find the color of your exhaust? No, that's it. Okay, so your first snow ball game, you're going to reveal the, uh, sex of the baby. Yeah.

The it's going to, instead of having a normal ball, it's going to be one that explodes on the impact. Yes. It's a smoke thing like they do with the golf balls. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's going to be, yeah. Imagine the slow mo video of him ripping on a snow machine with his with his. It's a boy. Millions of views, millions of views.

Just to Charlie, we could do if you guys wanted to let us know, we could do the first ever bellied up gender reveal call. Oh yeah. Just throwing it out there. We can give you a little spark here for your new Snow Low YouTube channel. Oh that's genius. We would love that.

That's a great idea. So the way you say this to your wife is honey, I'm not buying a snow machine, don't worry. I am starting a side business. And buy the machine, buy the exploding golf balls, and then here's the good thing, it takes a lot of time for businesses to make money. So this is all a write-off. You're basically making money.

You can't afford not to buy this snow machine is what I'm saying. This is this is a ski. Don't test me right now, because I know what I'm doing. You like that ski do? Charlie, let's not skip over the fact that he's pretty keen on us doing the gender reveal party. Oh, so are we going to Montana? No, he's got to call in and we'll review

it live on the podcast. That's true. So now you have proof to give the IRS when they obviously are going to question this. Absolutely. Well, we could do both during the first snow low game. You guys could be the commentators. That's it. Yes. Yes. Now you have plenty of proof to give the IRS when they come a-callin'. Yep, exactly. Perfect. Well, we got a business here set up. We got a baby on the way.

I'm feelin' pretty good. Just don't kill yourself with electricity before now and then. Okay, so my main goal right now is to not die from electricity and to buy a snow machine and convince the wife. It is a business venture. I like it. Yeah. And the home birth. Yep. And that's all you got to do. Okay. Okay. I think we can figure that out. Wonderful.

Well Connor, another, another issue solved here on the bellied up podcast. Thank you for calling in. Well, thanks boys. I really appreciate solved here on the bellied up podcast. Thank you for calling in. Well, thanks boys. I really appreciate it. It was super cool talking to you. Yeah. Before you go, I got one more question. All right. All right. As a foreman and electrician, I want you to give me the top tips of being a construction foreman. Okay. You nailed it on the head by saying, don't get out of your truck. Unfortunately I'm behind, so I have to get out of my truck, but you can bet you, I walk around and I look at one of my guys while they're working and I don't say nothing. I look at them and I kind of look around and I just walk away.

I don't say a single word. Yeah. Then he starts doing all sorts of paranoia in your head. You know, just your presence is, is making productivity more. You know, you're not just doing your job, you're doing your sorts of paranoia in your head. You know, just your presence is, is making productivity more. Yeah. It's a, it's a mind game. Absolutely. Judgmentalize. I like it. What else? Let's see. The other thing that I like to do is I like to, I like to call one of my guys and be really serious. Say, Hey, I need you to come out to the truck right now immediately. And then when they get out here, I just say, Hey, how's

your day going? It's getting kind of boring here sitting in the truck by myself and I've listened to every podcast I could. So what's going on, man? I just wanted you to come over. So I had an excuse to roll down the window because it was getting kind of hot in here. Exactly. And he's, and he's wondering why he's behind and he has to actually get out of the truck. I like that. Yeah. I mean, for everything I've heard, you're not lying. You are a foreman. You got that thing dialed in. I listened to, I listened to your guys' podcasts every day, especially by you doing concrete and being down in a hole. So I've, I listen to your guys at podcasts every day especially by you

doing concrete and being down in a hole so I've taken all that straight to heart yeah you got it easy you know you're usually working in an enclosed area you know you don't have to get all muddy and dirty and deal with people who live out of a cardboard box and have to bike to work every day. You know, you, you're, you're the high class. That's exactly right. We're better than everyone. And then, and don't forget, you really are an electrician, aren't you? I haven't touched a broom in years.

Yeah. Someone will clean that up. Are you a master electrician or a or what? Nope. I'm a, I'm a journeyman electrician. That's, and that's all you gotta be to really be a foreman around here. All right. Do you have aspirations to be a master electrician or no? I, so the first time I took my journeyman test, I got a 38% and I, and I got lucky to pass the test in the first place. I think we're going to leave her here. You can get a 38% on your journeyman test. First time, first time. He had to then go pass it. No, that was the first try. This is the second try. I sat in my truck and, and a toke down a little bit of electric lettuce and then went in and pass it. Oh, is that how you get electrocuted yourself too much electric lettuce? We, we keep things interesting around here. We, we, we got it.

We got it. We got to make it fun. That's good. I like this though. He knows his, he knows his ceiling. He's like, this is as high as I go. Literally. Oh man. Well, thank you, Connor. We appreciate you. My guy. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks for talking to me. You boys watch out for deer. All right. You too. Congratulations too, by the way. Yeah. Congrats. Hey, thanks guys. I'll talk to you. All right. Good one. Oh man. He's great. Yeah. I would love to work for him. He sounds awesome as a boss, you know, a lot of good energy in that one. You ever electrocute yourself, Charlie? Yeah, I have. I told you about that. I did. I did have my

water heater. Really? Yeah. What were you doing? I was adjusting the dial of how hot the water could get. And I just touched the wrong thing. The nastiest shock, the nastiest shock. And when I came to an epiphany, a periphery, said, I need to hire someone to do this instead. Yeah, they're there. You know, there I, I told you about the extension cord when I was a kid, splicing it and not pulling out of the wall. And I've electrocuted myself a couple of times since I did avoid a massive electrocution though I was fixing this washing machine and sorry dishwasher and it had all the water coming up so I was clearing it out on the bottom and then I was like oh this is still it still had water coming out I was like this is a deeper issue so I pull it out you know and then I get

underneath and I'm messing with the live wires and keeping my own. What the hell I'm doing. I'm just trying to see if something's not like hooked up or whatever. And then all of a sudden I was like, wet hands, live electricity. This is stupid. So then I went down and I shut it off, but I could almost kill myself on that one. I watched my dad almost die.

Really? How'd he almost do it? So at their Lake cabin, they were getting rid of a baseboard heater. Oh, it's hooked up to electricity. Yeah. He had thought that the electrician came in and made sure it wasn't live. Well, he found out the hard way it was live. Sparks flew. Oh, emotions ran high. Oh, yeah. And we all were kind of like standing there. And obviously he was pretty he was pretty stoic frazzled. Oh, he was frazzled

Yeah, just got what's happening and we look at the cuz he's gonna cut the wire so we could take it off the wall Yeah, and there was a little like indent perfect little semi circle of where he tried to cut the wire and melted the metal that he was Oh my god. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you are standing on the ground, you are the ground. So I could have had a lot more baggage not growing up without a dad, you know? Wow. Even more than I already got. Well, we're just happy Bud's OK. Yeah. So it's a lesson for all you guys out there. Yeah

If you're gonna You're gonna do I DIY E L E C T R I C T Y YouTube it twice. Yeah, you tube it twice cut once do something to make sure that the wire is not live Yeah, turn turn your power off Do something to make sure that the wire is not live. Yeah turn turn your power off Should we take another caller? Let's do it Amanda's on the phone. She's coming to us from Arizona And she says her Arizona

Deal is flooded with Midwesterners and Amanda's it right you want to know what that is all about, huh? Yeah, I'm curious. We've got culvers everywhere. We've got fertility everywhere. What is it about Phoenix that draws everybody here aside from the absence of snow? Well, it's not just that it's arthritis. Okay. You know, we are so true. My dad's like when I'm down there, man, my joints are feeling. Yeah, there's just something about that heat that loosens up the old hammer toe. And you're just you're like, I can walk here and not take ibuprofen. So what we're really doing is saving money on ibuprofen. Like my Paul Bunyan's feel great. Yeah, my Paul Bunyan's.

Yeah, it really is a health issue for a lot of us. And also if you look in the Midwest, you look at heart attack rates, they spike in the winter. Something about shoveling your car out of snow isn't good on the old ticker after you get past 65. So people like to, you know, they've paid their dues to the, they've they paid their dues to the they they've sacrificed their their sacrifices to the Midwest gods and it's time to go enjoy some warmer weather. Well, and I think that if

you're in the Midwest and you turn 55 years old, you're spending either your entire winter in Phoenix, Arizona, Scottsdale area, or you're going to somewhere in Florida. Yep. It is Arizona or Florida. That's pretty much what we do. And we go with the they call us snowbirds because it is a migratory pattern. You know, people. I can tell the roads make that parent are very apparent. And what's it like driving with all those Midwesterners down there? I'm not entirely certain that I have the most solid footing

to talk about that, as I'm from the New York metro area originally. So you didn't even drive until you got down there to Phoenix. No, no, I've been I've been driving quite a bit, my friend in Jersey, in Rhode Island, in Northern California, around the San Francisco area out here in Phoenix. And I got to tell you that Phoenix is awful. How dare you put her in a box, Charlie. She said she's from New York. New Yorkers don't drive. Dare you. They have New Jersey. Oh, New Jersey. How dare you? How does that make you feel

that Charlie just said that because you're from New Jersey, you're a New Yorker. How does that make you feel? I feel like the most, the majority would consider that a compliment. Anytime I've mentioned, like my husband loves to throw me under the bus for being from New Jersey. So, yeah, it was a bit of a compliment. You know, I guess I'll water off the duck's back. Take that miles. Why don't you try throwing me under the bus for some mouse? Oh, how do you spot a Midwestern in Phoenix, Arizona?

Well, you just look at the Culver's drive through Culver's drive. There's that or any golf cart that's on the street. Yeah. We... To be honest, yeah. Yeah. My dad, he, he, he doesn't vacation. He vacations in Southern California, not Arizona. Palm Springs. But he rented a place and it came with a golf cart. And I tell you what, this is the giddiest I've ever seen my dad. Really? He loved that thing. It's like a UTV without the balls. It's a castrated UTV. That's a golf cart. It's just something about, you know, in the Midwest, we like, we like going, Hey Charlie, you want to go for a drive? Oh yeah, that'd be great. And

then you just spend two hours driving around, not saying anything. It's the equivalent down south. You just get in the golf cart, you drive around your little gated community and just look at stuff. Are these Midwesterners like really clogging up the roads with the, with the golf carts or are they doing it in a respectful way? In Sun City, for sure. There are signs specifically. So I mentioned earlier that I'm baking, I have a small French Mac home bakery, which is exactly what I'm doing right now. And one of my farmers markets is out in Sun City. And I got to tell you guys if I'm running late, because childcare doesn't show

up in time. It's an exercise of patience for 30. So you're a professional baker. Yes, sir. I know you're going to get level. You have that kind of warmth. She's doing it in the background right there. She's what are you chopping up there? Carrots for the carrot cake? No, I'm banging on the bottom of the sheet pan. So French macarons or macaroons, air is the enemy in the recipe. So you're gonna bang out all the air bubbles

so they don't pop and crack in the oven. Gotta bang out the air bubbles. Sounds like something else. Sounds like a euphemism. How are you, can you say- You know, it could be. Yeah. Are you gonna send us some bakery?

That would be really nice. If you guys have a box, I would love to. I have a giant grandmother syndrome. We don't know if you box, but I can give you Charlie's home address. It is. How about we don't get that beeper in here? What is obviously you live down there and you're clearly a little bit annoyed at all the Midwesterners coming down there.

What is your biggest gripe to pick with the Midwesterners snowbirding in Arizona? I don't mean to beat a dead horse here, but honestly, it's just the driving. It's really just the driving. I love that everybody's so thoughtful and sweet and you can have a conversation with anybody. That is lovely, to be fair. But just the driving and just the driving. Well, we waving at you, you know, so we're not impolite. We're just going five to ten under the speed limit. Cause you know, we got nowhere

to go. And honestly, where do you gotta be? Other than the precious present living in the moment, we're teaching you to slow down in this fast paced world. If you don't look around once in a while, you miss it. I do appreciate the lesson and there is something to be had in that wisdom, but my friend time is money. Oh, there's the Jersey coming out. Hey, get out of the way. Trying to get some macaroons sold there. You just screamed that in this bar and in my ear.

That was good. You also just quoted me verbatim. All right. That was good. You also just quoted me verbatim. All right. Well, as someone from New Jersey, what do you think us Midwesterners can work on? Being a little more assertive. OK, a little a little more aggressively assertive. There is a time and a place for politeness. Absolutely. But just a little bit of urgency, just a little bit of urgency. Okay. Yeah. The only thing I got a harp on. Yeah. Little knees to chest.

Get her moving. Keep her moving. That's where it all comes full circle. Well, Charlie, let's try it here. Okay. All right. Yeah. So I own a bakery. Hey, Miles, how's it going? You're here to buy some macaroons. How are you? Hey, what can I get you? Ah, man, you got, oh, it smells good here. Yeah. We got macaroons. So what can I get you? We got a long line here. Oh, Lord, how much are they now? 450 per mackerel and for two? Oh So really of them to 20 how many you want? Two three two three two four how many you think I should get well, I would recommend four Nine dollars, okay

All right, hang on here flavor you want chocolate you got? Yeah, we got chocolate. What else? Peanut butter. Peanut butter? Done. You got brandy old fashioned? I don't even know what that is. All right. Sir, really please just make a decision. Oh shoot. Hang on. I left my wallet in the golf cart.

I'll be right back. Hey, how are you doing? Tony, hey, I saw you the other week over at the filling station, right? Sir, honestly, you can just have these macaroons for free if you just keep the line moving. Are you kidding me? Sure, that's, hey, I got a two for you.

You guys wanna try one? No, they're paying customers. Don't give away the free ones. All right, well, I'm gonna go drive four miles an hour home. I'll see you later. What should he have done differently? Kim or you? Hey, this is not about me.

You're a bad New Jersey. I was the straight man. You're bad New Jersey. Oh, okay. Well, what should I have done differently? Was I still too nice to him? Am I, am I permitted to use some choice language? Sure. 100%.

Jesus fucking Christ. What is it that I can get for you? Come on. No, you can't be taking the Lord's name and being like that. First of all, his middle name was James. Second of all, I'll see you in church, all right? I'm gonna light a candle for you right there, okay? Believe it or not, I was raised Irish Catholic, so both my grandmother and my grandfather just rolled over in their graves and died. All Jeepers, cripes, I tell you what.

Well, fellow Catholic, peace be with you. Yeah. And I will raise you up on eagle's wings. Melt the blood, breath of dawn. Hail to the sun. And hold you in the palm of his hand. Will you, you weren't gonna join in with us? No, you know, no notes.

No notes, gentlemen. Dance then wherever you see. I am the Lord of the dance and he in a way that is one that is other than That's in the dance. And the Lord said, well, we got to go to church. Clearly, we haven't been there in a while. That's what all the that's what all Catholics do anyways. They don't actually sing.

They just mumble and move their mouths. That's what my dad does. Yeah, that's true. Mumble, move your mouth, put the dollar bill in the basket. Take communion, go home. Don't miss that. Don't miss in and out, in and back. Take communion. Go home. Don't miss that. Don't miss that. In and out, in and out, shake a few hands. Peace be with yous and also with yous. Well, Amanda, all I have to say to you, Amanda, we like to ask our Catholic listeners, are you a, how do you like to receive communion?

I was going to ask her if she was a tongue gal or a hand gal. And I figured that was, yeah, I was going to end badly. How do you like to receive your body of Christ? I feel like after the pandemic, it's only hands. Yeah. But you know, it used to be mouth. Oh, you're a mouth gal. Wow. You, you really are Irish Catholic. Holy smokes. Very pretentious. They've done that since the seventies. Pretentious. I don't think they've done that since the 70s. Pretentious? How is that pretentious? What? Cause you're, you know, I, I know some people that are mouth people and they're a little better than you. That's, that's what they're saying.

Because of blind faith, I'm still confused. Amanda, if you don't ask, mind me asking. Trust me, there's a follow-up question. When was the last time you were at church? Oh God, actually to be fair, to be fair, no pun intended, I guess with that. Last October for a Catholic wedding. Okay. So It had been a minute. Do you remember when they changed the whole routine of the, they just decided

that we were going to do church a different way. Do you remember that Charlie is like all the responses were different and people were getting it half wrong the whole time. And it was a mess. Yeah. It was like five, 10 years ago. And you can always tell the The creasters, because they still screw it up. Sorry guys, I'm getting dizzy. They're working. Get those air bubbles out. Well, Amanda, good luck with that, okay? And we hope that the Midwesterners get the message here. We hope they hear this and they pick up the pace

a little down there in Arizona. Or maybe you slow down and enjoy life a little more. One of the two. Yeah, that's a solid piece of advice. If I may, before we go, I do have two dear friends out here that are both from the Midwest. One from Chicago, I know how you guys feel about that. But her husband is from Minnesota

and they're two of the greatest people that I've ever known. We went through pregnancy together. Our babies are two months apart. We're we vacation together all the time. They're just felt to be Earth human beings. So if they're representative of of your where you hail from, then you all are good people.

Well, that's what's their names. Can we give them a shout out? Sure. Melissa and Sean, Sean though Melissa in our text message earlier this morning when I told them that I was doing this She did want me to say go bears. Oh My god, I got it was good. It was nice talking to you, but your fib friends are not indicative of the Midwest unfortunately, so makes sense you'd find a fib out there too. And, uh, when the folks are down in Arizona, where can they find your macaroons?

Uh, I deliver, uh, two homes. I'm at different farmers markets and I also ship across the country. So Amanda's max is my business. Amanda's Max. We love alliteration. I love it. Well, good stuff. Well, congrats on your baby, congrats on your macaroons, and tell your fib friends we say hi. Thanks gentlemen, I appreciate the time.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Chrysler. Well, Miles, gotta tell ya. She's a feisty one. She is a feisty one, yeah. And you know, I mean, look, we're on vacation. That's what you gotta remember about Midwesterners

when we're invading your towns. Just cause you chose to live in a phenomenal part of the country doesn't entitle you to making us speed up. Yeah, yeah. You might be living your daily life, but we are either retired or on vacation. So we're going the pace that we go. And that's, there's no bottom rungs about it. Guys, we have Patrick from Alabama on the line. He is a structural engineer and he says that he wants to go to tow with

me. Wow. Yeah. I don't know what, I don't know what he wants, but Patrick, let's do it. Let's go toe to toe. What do you mean? I just heard you complain about engineers when you, you know, and your time as a concrete worker and always giving engineers about a hard topic. Somebody's got to stand up for the engineers every now and then. Okay. I knew this was gonna happen, Miles. You couldn't leave the engineers alone and this is the repercussions you get. All right, you guys go toe to toe, also pecker to pecker.

Let's see what we got going here. Well, maybe it's for Patrick, but not me. It's more like belly to belly. Yeah. That's a closer fight there. Thigh to thigh. Yeah. How about arm and arm?

Arm and arm, all right. Well, that's a whole other thing. Well, what state your piece, Patrick? Yeah. So what did I say that really, uh, rubbed you the wrong way? Well, I mean, I run into it every day at work, man. It's not concrete guys anymore. It used to be, but now it's welders and fabricators. Now everything's always blamed it used to be, but now it's welders and fabricators. Now everything's always blamed on the engineers as if we had the final say so when and all reality I think the problem that we have when engineers and concrete workers and these guys don't get along is we get distracted by who the real common enemy is and And that is the client.

Yeah, I can. I know what I'll agree with that one. The client is always wrong. In other words, the client is always a pain in the ass. Always, whether it's the Navy on a ship that you're building or somebody's concrete driveway and they want to, you know, six inches wider at this one spot after they've already been formed up and forward. Yeah. And I think, uh, for me, Charlie, why isn't that engineers get blamed for everything? Well, it's because you guys are the rule followers. You guys are the nerds. You're the one saying, we can't do it like this because the building

will fall down. You know, it's like, what do you mean? We've done it the other way a hundred times in a row and the building still standing. Yeah. But everything's always okay until it's not. And that's what we're doing. We're trying to avoid those bad situations. Yeah. I mean, really, I think the bone I have to pick is when there is a classic over engineering going on. Would you agree that some people over engineer things? Every day, man. That's part of the job. Well, give us an example, Miles, of something. When is an engineer hurt you?

I, when has it been over engineered pocketbook? pocketbook Oh, it's a little speck more the more the more time they end up Engineering something not only you got to pay him for more time. You then got to pay for more material You got to do all of this extra stuff that ends up costing the client money. Ends up costing everyone more money. Yeah, but don't y'all end up making more money? That's extra overtime for you guys.

Thank you, I was just gonna say that. People helping people. Well, I also have another one, a little zinger for ya. It'll say you're the concrete guy, you build it too good, you're not gonna have any repeat customers. A planned obsolescence.

It's like the iPhone. It's like the iPhone's intentionally making your battery go to shit. That's why every new building looks like a frickin Ikea. Yeah. A concrete businesses are built on upcharging for having to come fix things. How is anyone supposed to make a living if you guys are engineering stuff to a T stop doing your job so good is what he's saying. All right. I'll make, I'll make sure our building start falling down so you guys can, you know, have a, we did not say that. We did not say that. I mean,

we did it down, right? I want you to make sure that it just has enough structural integrity to not fall down. Not in the worst case scenario, Patrick, I gotta tell you from an argument standpoint, you're winning right now. Oh yeah. Yep. In the debate. Yep. He's currently winning. You're going to have to buckle up miles. You're gonna have to give him a little bit more. Because he just said that also who says pocketbook these days? You know, in my pocketbook, do you still balance a checkbook, Miles? Yeah, kind of look like you do. No, God, I had a checkbook in high school, though.

Did you checkbook in high school? I did. Patrick, do you have a checkbook? I did, man. I had to pay rent back in the day. You couldn't do cash or credit card. No, I had to be a check guy. Nice accent, by the way. Where are you calling him from again? Man, I'm from mobile Alabama, mobile Alabama. We got a southerner on the phone. Charlie. I was just in Birmingham or as you guys call it, Burma now. And that was interesting. It was nice being down in Alabama. But do you guys have a Buc-E's around there? Yeah, there's one just down the road from me

right now. Oh my gosh. I got to tell you, I got a bone to pick with that friggin Buc-E's. Okay, I'm a quick trip guy through and through and going to that Buc-E's that was like a quick trip made love to a Walmart while that dumb stuffed beaver cucked, you know? I'll tell you what's distracting is that giant wall of jerky they got over there, man. No. They have a giant wall of jerky? They do.

That's gotta cost more than the whole building itself. I mean, it's some spendy jerky. I will say, you're impressed by some things when you walk in but you start getting close to it and you peel the facade off and it's not as good as it looks, okay? Yeah. Are you a-

Now Buc-E's is a Texas thing. You're gonna have to get you a Texas fella on here to talk about that. Okay, so you're not- They're just jumping over state lines and you know, coming on over here. They're spreading like the oral herb. They are.

They got one that they were saying might come up in Wisconsin and you know, there's a flare up every nine months. Not that I know anything about that. And I got it. Sounds like a good time to do, sounds like a good comparison video coming up. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, exactly. That would be good. A comparison video of QuickTrip versus, but you know, Bucky. Well, exactly. That would be good. A comparison video of quick trip versus, but you know, but let's hear what, okay. What's better, Charlie Buc-Ease or quick trip is better than Buc-Ease. Okay. Buc-Ease, if it was so good, did they need to put up a billboard like 7,000 miles away from the nearest Buc-Ease saying nearest Buc-Ease 7,000 miles away? It's just it's hack marketing is what it is. And nothing that's really good needs a mascot there. Do the green Bay Packers

have a mascot? No. Okay. You only need a mascot if your team sucks. Unless you're the badgers. Well, that's a good question. Is Bucky a woodchuck or what is buck? He's a Beaver. I think he's a Beaver. Yeah. Bucky the Beaver. So why is the Badgers got Bucky? Well, there's a little bit Bucky the Badger and that, and they also ripped off the name Bucky, you know, from us, you know, you can't be ripping off a mascot. And again, a Badger's got grandfathered into the mascot thing. And it... And it...

And it... It re... Like, the bottom line here... What about the Bucks? The Bucks, of course, also grandfathered in. Same with the Brewers. But, you know, you don't need it for a freaking gas station, all right?

And then you go into that place. They've like socially engineered a gas station, all right? And then you go into that place, they've like socially engineered a gas station. It's like, I feel like a cattle in there. You know, I feel like I'm in a herd of cattle. You know, the way they shovel people around and the way you move, like, they took like all these videos and they had surveillance trying to find the easiest flow for people to get in and get out.

I mean, it's too perfect. You know there's something deeper there. You know they're looking at something there. You do, you know, and it's destroying the fabric of American society. That's what's happening. Miles, I think Charlie is just projecting a little bit because I think he really wants to be

the official mascot of Wisconsin. Oh, projecting that Buc-E's has their own mascot. If he's thinking of all of this gas station is good enough for a mascot, you know, do you Charlie's, you know, Wisconsin's number one fan. If Charlie was the mascot for Wisconsin, he wouldn't be able to walk into any bar because his head wouldn't fit through the door. Yeah. Cheese wedge would be a little too big. That would actually be good. Wisconsin mascot, big old cheese. It's never, it's not going to happen. I won't let it happen. I'll do a smear campaign against it. Patrick, you don't even like Buc-E's. Why, why did it turn out you were calling in to give miles crap?

Now you're giving me crap. You're supposed to be on my side. I thought this was a safe space. Hi, this is part of being an engineer. You have to walk that middle line of keeping the client happy and keeping that construction crew happy. That is true. You did a good job there because at first I was ready to arm wrestle you. And now I'm like thinking you're a great guy. So, Hey, you are good. You are good. I appreciate that. What do you also have another thing to bring up? Yeah. You got a Navy ship. You want to buy seller trade? Man, I don't think we can swing that right now. There's a lot of contracts and a lot of big with dragon ball.

It's not my pay grade. All right. But with the Midwest, nice first, the Southern hospitality. OK, where what's the defining line? Like I hear you got to talk about the Midwest and Midwest night. I'm from the South and I've lived this southern hospitality. So what's where's the difference? I think the Midwest and the South are pretty much one in the same. Ha ha. Let me just say this.

We're not one in the same. There! Ha! Let me just say this. We're not one in the same. There might be similarities, but the whole southern hospitality, it doesn't hold a candle to the Midwest Nights, all right? Exactly, yeah. Like, hey, it's pretty easy to have nice hospitality, Charlie, when it's sunny and 75 every day. Yeah, have you guys ever erected the windshield wipers before a sleet storm of your loved ones or just kind of liked ones in the neighborhood? I think have you ever been on your way to work, saw someone in the ditch and derailed your whole day to help

pull them out? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. Have you ever been sitting in an ice shanty? Okay. And, and your buddy is outside and he goes, flag! And I'm like, Miles, don't call me that. And then I run out and I go, oh my gosh, I got a Northern on and, and Miles told me that my fish was biting the hook. He, he could have gone and taken that fish, but no, he alerted me.

Have you guys ever done any of that? Ever done any of that in the South? Absolutely. Really? You've shoveled your neighbor's driveway before. Hear me out. It's the same coin. It's just different sides.

Y'all have these winners that are just so terrible and brutal. You don't even want to step outside because the air hurts your face. Our summers are so hot. When you walk outside in the morning, you can hear the sun. You can hear the sun cooking you alive. So what do you do? Yeah. So what do you do in that blistering heat that equals our Midwest? Nice. It's the opposite of the same coin. Y'all bundle up. We shredded. We take off layers. That's not hospitality. You're taking off other people's clothes. This sounds honestly very Southern. Yeah. I'm going to be honest, Charlie. I think I kind of like Southern hospitality now. Well, miles down there. What's that? No, nothing. Well, what do you guys do in the heat? What are you doing? The heat, the help other people, I offer them

a cold glass of sweet tea, but all right, that's a start. What else? I, you know, invite them inside, send them down, offer them some want, give them a good sandwich. Ask them how their folks are doing. Okay. Okay. I don't know. What do y'all do when it's super cold outside and see somebody shivering? Well, I mean, we give them our coat.

You give them, yeah, you maybe give them a shot of brandy, Charlie. Yeah, that's the internal sweater. Here's the thing. That's what Southern hospitality. Every Southern hospitality has to go a step above because we can't give a coat to somebody in the summer. We have to bring them into our home, bring them into the luscious air conditioning that we're paying for.

Well, it turns out, Charlie, that everything they do for southern hospitality, we also do up north. Yeah, it gets swampy up here in the summers. We got some ice cold beers instead of sweet tea up here that we offer people. We, you know, welcome them into our home and say, hey, a walleye biting out there or no? Yeah. And we say it's not the heat. It's the humidity. Yeah. We say, yeah, it's hot enough out there for your, you know, balls.

So, I mean, what I'm trying to say, Charlie, is we do all the stuff that they do, but I've never heard of someone in Mobile, Alabama, shoveling their neighbors driveway. Have you ever shoveled anyone's driveway? No, not never once. Well, so so, yes, there is southern hospitality, but I think Midwest Nights beats it out. And also, I'm on to you, Patrick. I know when you say bless your heart,

you're really telling me to go F myself. I would never say that to you, Charlie. You wouldn't, you would say bless your heart. And? Nah, I'm just saying, oh, he sure is. never say that to you, Charlie. You wouldn't, you would say bless your heart. And... No, I'd just say, oh, he sure is. I'm sure his mama loves him. Charlie, you're a guy only a mom could love. I got that, I got that.

Patrick, what are you building over there on the, in the stockyard? What are you in? You're in the shipyard. What are you in? You're in the shipyard. What are you? What are you? What are you building over there? I was building a couple Navy vessels, a Coast Guard vessel and a big dry dock right now.

Oh, nice. How's the Navy looking these days? We gonna beat China or what's going on? Right now they're looking haze gray. That's what we paint everything. Haze gray. Okay, because that when you get out on the sea, you know, it's largely hazy gray. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now we know what the weather's like in the,

you know, South China sea. It's hazy gray. That's right. Yeah. That's it. South China sea camel. I got one more, Miles, I got one more bone to pick with you, buddy. I'm sorry.

I like it. That's all right. I think there's a little bit of a conspiracy on our hands that needs to be addressed. A lot of my favorite content of yours miles has always been the Yeti comparison. And I've noticed lately, I haven't seen any more Yeti comparisons coming out. So make the question has miles been bought out by big Yeti. I would, I would love to be bought out by big Yeti. You know, the paycheck that could come with that. Have you seen what that company is worth? They're worth a billion dollars. Well, I bet they're a billion dollars cause they sell a coffee cup. If I was bought out

by Yeti, I definitely wouldn't be sitting at this bar with Charlie. What I thought we're here cause we're friends. Oh yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Oh my gosh. We would be in the Caribbean at a bar doing this. Ah, so well, it begs the question where the Yeti comparison video is gone. Um, well one, we've done a lot of products and I don't want to just, I don't want to just pick something on their website and make fun of it. You know, that's what the, that's the low hanging fruit. That's what someone who is an amateur would do. I got to make sure that I'm waiting for the fresh new stuff, stuff that is so absurd that it basically writes itself. So it sounds like he's writing

on that next Yeti care package to show it. Oh, I would love that. You could sling that stuff on Facebook Marketplace for a pretty penny. Patrick, you seen any product you want Miles to do a review of? Uh, tell you what, that Yeti backpack is a little bit out there. How much is it? More than I can afford. Probably was $600 for a backpack. Backpack? Yeah. I mean you got to hand it to them. They're like there's a bunch of rich people out there with that like dog bowl. White coolers for white collars. You said that. That's right. That should be their catch phrase.

No, we, it's also one of those things. I've been doing Yeti videos now for like at least four years that now it's to the point where I want it to be a little bit of a sweet treat when we do it. Okay. You know, Oh, here's the Yeti bag. Oh, it's on sale, Charlie, for only $184. Dear God. What the hell? At that price you lose money not buying. I know you Here's the Yeti bag. Oh, it's on sale Charlie for only a hundred eighty four dollars your god What the hell at that price you lose money not buying? I know you can't pass up on those kinds of savings clearly It's not so very well. It's action-packed tough enough to get dirty smartly designed to sort your essentials Wait, it says tough enough to get dirty Honestly, yeah, oh you can get the 35 liter. You know, I usually measure my backpacks in leaders. I don't even know how big that is. The 35 liter backpacks on

sale for 200 bucks. Are they selling these to Europeans leaders? Okay. This one's waterproof. It's blaze orange. I like the blaze orange. That's it's water. I'm going to be nice. I come in handy. Dude, that's $300. Are you free? Yeah, but it holds 28 liters of stuff. So, uh, yeah, God, I would. Hey, if you know, leaders in the case of beer, though, God, okay. Carry the one minus the two divided by four four liters. Oh, let's Google it. We're in America Alright, yeah, we use free. We use freedom units over here. Thank you Thank you. How many things are measured by leaders on that ship you're designing? Exactly zero leaders were zero leaders worth see that liters worth. See that? See that?

I mean, that's gotta be a weird thing. Don't, uh, or do engineers use the metric system or do they, are they still using the American freedom system? It depends on the project, which is weird. You would think all one Navy would use the same thing from boat to boat, but different boats use meters, different boats use freedom units. Different boats for different folks. That's why engineers cost so much. They're spending their whole time converting different metrics.

See? Oh, terrible. Again, Miles, it's not the engineer. It's the client. It's true. Yeah. Bring it all back, Charlie. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. I got your back, Patrick. I got your back.

I appreciate it. Well, thanks for calling in, man. This has been really insightful. This really has been insightful. Miles, any final questions here? Now, if you know anyone, if you know anyone who works at Yeti that wants to send me a care package, I need to sling that on Facebook marketplace because I got a kid now, so I got to pay for stuff.

Oh yeah. So send miles of free backpack. He'll sell it. First, I'll do a video. First, I'll do a video. Sell it. Then it'll be on Facebook marketplace for a whopping $200 for a 30 liter backpack. We'll know when miles gets that Yeti gig,

cause he'll have a Yeti wallet. I'm like. Yes, a hundred percent. You know, I'll start wearing like gold chains and stuff. You know. A hundred dollar bill fold. I'll show up in a black suburban. That's the windows are all tinted.

That's when you'll know I took the bag from Yeti. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know they had a $200 wallet. Good God. Have you done that video? No. Oh, you gotta get back on it. That was just my idea. You see Patrick, I think now if you do this video, Miles got to send you a little check. Actually the, I was gonna ask for some royalties, you know,

giving them all these good content ideas. Yeah. You know, this actually comes full circle. Charlie Charlie are Yeti's whole motto is over engineering something. And so honestly, this sounds like the perfect marriage for you, Patrick. I think this whole job you got now don't work out go work at Yeti. They're gonna love you Well, yeti if you're listening, you know miles are giving me my phone number They gotta go through miles to get to Patrick Well Patrick, thank you for calling in my guy Absolutely fellas. It was a blast. All right. We'll talk to you soon. Good luck

on the ship. Appreciate it. Bye bye now. I actually am a little disappointed Charlie that I've never gotten one contact from Yeti ever that well you spend, you built your career trashing them. Why do you think they're going to call you? Yeah, I don't know. You know, I mean the Vikings fan spend their whole life trashing their own team, but you know, that's true. Appreciate the fans. That's true. So are you okay? A Yeti fan? Do you own any Yeti stuff? Well, so here's what I do own Yeti stuff, but it's all the stuff that I bought for a video. Oh yeah. You didn't turn it. It's like you have the receipt and then

it just never gets returned. Yeah. But then it actually has come in handy because we've used it for future videos. Oh, okay. But you've never actually used the Yeti stuff. I mean, I have buddies that have Yetis. Okay. But yeah, I actually don't own a Yeti cooler. I own, I own a bunch of the Yeti cups because people send them to you. You got it. You got it as a gift gift. Yeah. No, I have a lunch box. I have a bottle opener, a ice bucket. So if you want to do the ice bucket challenge at any point, let me know. I got one miles. You ever get out there with your UTV and roll it and pretend like you meant to?

I, yeah, I've done, I've done that. I've done that. Like, oh yeah. The struts weren't good on that thing. You know, when there's not even really a struts to be spoken of anymore, you know? And there you are, you know, just sitting there looking at the thing and you're like, shoot, I'm injured emotionally and also physically. And maybe you can sue the hell out of the ATV company. You never know. Maybe it was a user error. Either way, you know, you don't just take that lying down. You know, you call a lot of Nikolai, right? You first peel the ATV off of you. Mm-hmm.

Peel it off. And then you call. And you say, shoot. And you make sure you get checked out. Cause if you roll an ATV, first of all, drive safely. But if you roll it, well then you never know what could be happening. You could have be bleeding from the inside.

So you gotta go to the hospital. That's gonna cost money. Are you gonna pay for that? I don't know. I think someone else should, Miles. Right? So what should they do? Call Nikolai.

Call Nikolai. Call Nikolai. Ladies and gentlemen, 1-88-1855. Nikolai. Hi, this is Nick. Nick, how you doing, my guy? What's on your mind? What's your rant?

Let us hear it. I didn't think I was gonna get it, dude. This is awesome. So it's like, I got this girlfriend, right? And for some reason she likes to FaceTime me like every minute possible. And it's just like, I don't wanna listen to like your your Duncan order that got messed up. I don't care about that.

You know what I mean? I think that you are every man with a significant other. That's a rant I think we all have. I will say the technology man. It's a different level. It used to be a phone call, text, you know, kind of got a break from the phone call for a while. But then the FaceTime, if she's FaceTime in you that much, I don't think she trusts you a whole lot personally, but that's a whole

other situation. Cause my wife does the same thing. She'll just text me. She doesn't FaceTime me. Thank God. And condolences to Nick here. But she'll just text me. Be like, Oh, I had a, I had a bagel for breakfast. Really? And then she'll be like, Oh, uh, you know, I'm watching TV or I ran an errand to the gas station and then it's just boom, boom, boom. And I don't even have to respond. They just keep coming in. Oh, so she's one of them one line texters. Oh yeah. There are people who texting like just one lines and then people who like do a whole paragraph, you know? And Nick, what's so wrong with her FaceTime in you every other minute? It's like, I'm like commute to work.

I drive far from work. It's about like an hour, you know. So it's like when I'm exhausted, I'm working outside all day and I get in the car, I just want to listen to my podcast, listen to my music. But no, it's just like as soon as she knows I'm in the car, bang, I got a call and it's like, I'm just sitting there and it just makes me more tired. I'm not driving back. I'm sitting in traffic. That's making me tired. Now I'm listening to her and it's like, well, now I'm about to fall asleep. And what, you know, it's like, that's where it's like too much. I think we've uncovered maybe the deeper issue issue here, my guy. I think you might be in the wrong relationship. What do you think about that? I've thought about it. It's like, he's like, honestly, I would ask you to marry me,

but you just call me way too much and it makes me wanna gouge my eyes out. If your girlfriend is constantly- Pretty much, man, I'm definitely waiting. You're definitely- Go ahead. Well, if she's constantly putting your life in danger by putting you to sleep while driving, I feel like you could just not answer.

What would happen if you just didn't answer? Yeah, well, since you text me, and then I'd rather call than text, but I don't like to be on my phone. But sometimes I'll be like, hey, my mom's calling me real quick and I'll call you back, and I hang listening to like songs for like about 10, 15 minutes and then like muster up enough energy to call her back. And then I'll call her back. He's, he's like having to do, he's like listening to like motivational speeches, just to stay awake and like work up the courage to call her back. You're like, you got this. Did she, um, when she

calls, like, did she ever say anything of interest to you? No, never. No, not one thing. No. So give us like a list of like, what are the, what are the main five things she's calling you about? What does she, what does she dump it on you at the end of your workday? So I say the main thing is how like her day went. She's a teacher. So she'll say, oh, my God, you'll never believe like what happened in the classroom. This this kid did this and I said this and then he left. Oh, OK. And then it's like, oh, well, this teacher said this about me. Like, I'm so excited. Oh, good job. And she's like, yeah, but like, Oh, well, this teacher said this about me. Like, I'm so excited. Oh, good job. And she's like, yeah, but like blah, blah, blah. And then going to like gossip

with it. I'm like, Oh, okay. And then she'll say like how her Duncan order was messed up again. And then it's just like the repetitive kind of thing. And then just puts me to sleep. Well, what you need to start doing, what you should start doing is just getting ahead of it. You answer a phone. You just go, wow, I can't believe that student did that today. I can't believe that teacher said that about you. God, Duncan sucks because they get your order wrong. All right, honey. Well, I'll see you when I get home. Bye. Just get ahead of everything. Yeah. Can I've tried it one time. And how did that go? Go ahead.

It didn't go well. She thought that I wasn't listening to her or give her a chance to yapp. And I just told her that I already know what you're going to say. I was like, did I say everything that you're going to say? And she's like, yeah. I'm like, there you go. I got ahead of it. I think there's really two issues here.

There's one issue of FaceTiming when you don't wanna be FaceTiming, but then also I feel like you got some kinks to work out in this relationship. Are you guys good when you're in person or no? Well, yeah, when we're in person, we're good. We joke around together. We have a good time.

And she's always on the TikTok thing. And it's like, sometimes I just take her phone and shut it off on her. But other than that, yeah, pretty good in person. Yeah. Other than stealing her property and making her do something else, things are going well in the relationship. I was on this. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever been on a FaceTime call where she's like cooking or something and she puts the phone down and the phone is just facing the ceiling so you just talk into a ceiling for 10 minutes?

Oh, that usually happens when she's in the bathroom. She doesn't cook, which that's also another issue I got to train her on. Train her on? Oh my God. I don't think that's the right mentality. Are you close to your girlfriend right now? No, no, no. She's I meant to get a haircut and she's off running errands the way you said no, no, no. Sounds like yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's in the next room, but you don't want that to happen. So, okay. Here's a question in my truck. You, you called into

our podcast today. You seem like you got a lot of energy going on. What's the difference between talking to us on the phone and talking to her on the phone? You guys are more enjoyable to talk to. It's like I talk to her every day. I don't know. You guys are my first time speaking to you guys. I don't know. Then why don't every time you just imagine that you're talking to Charlie and I, yeah, just don't carry that over to other aspects of your relationship. Yeah. Otherwise, otherwise you might not be able to perform if you know

what I mean. Or maybe you would perform. I don't know. I don't want to judge. I mean, I could try it on. Let you guys know next time. But she just doesn't bring the same energy as you guys. She's more mono. Oh, so she that's the deal. It goes like this. Hi.

Yeah, work today was kind of crazy. I this one kid, Billy, Dylan, Dylan, uh, through spit balls at the wall again. This doesn't sound like that. Exactly. Like that. I'm like, Oh, what did you do? I don't know. I might be a little bit on your side because that was boring.

I mean, I'm guessing the listeners that are listening as they tuned out, they probably shut the podcast off when I started doing that. Yeah. I'm trying to think of an actual solution to help you, you know, and I know you were just calling into rant. Have you ever thought about breaking your forward facing camera on your phone? Just like a little like chisel and a hammer real quick and then you're done with FaceTime calls just like that. That's just I thought you were going to go a

different route and just break up with it. You were too. I thought you were going to say break up with her. I thought you were too. I thought you were gonna say break up with her. I mean, you could do that, but you know, if you're still gonna, yeah, actually, that's a better idea right there. You save yourself the phone, that's perfect. Or you could break her phone. Save myself the phone, the money.

Yeah. I could break her phone. No, don't do that. That's not, just break up with her. I've gotta pay for it, yeah. Yeah., I mean do you think this relationship's gonna work it's sounding like a disaster to me Yeah smart maybe you just find someone you want to FaceTime with and then start there yeah that's not that's what life's about Charlie find someone that you're happy to FaceTime with exactly yeah well we and one yeah yeah well we appreciate you calling in my guy yeah well thank you for having me it's been a pleasure yeah good luck with your gal, thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. Yeah. Good luck with your gal and thank you for sharing the rant. I get it. It's mine. I don't get FaceTime, but

Anne will text me a lot during the day and I'll be in meetings or shooting a video or something and then I open my phone and I got 36 unread messages and you think something's wrong, but no, it's just a journal. It's, it's just like, uh, it's a ledger of what she did throughout the day. And if that makes her happy, that makes her happy. Charlie, does she get mad if you don't text her back at first, but then she realized that this is my life now. So, yeah, you know what? That would have been good advice for that guy.

He's setting the wrong precedent by opening up the FaceTime. Yeah. I should have just never answered. Yeah. Cause then, then she'll find out if she needs that FaceTime, you know, the truth will set you free. Hey, Maggie. Come on belly up to the bar.

Water is warm and the beer is cold. What's on your mind? Am I seriously on right now? Oh, yeah, you're on. I'm Charlie. This is a recording. Yeah, it's not. That'd be funny if this was. You know, like not like someone answers.

If someone answers first and then, you know, gives me a little, you know, and then I'm going to be on or something. We're not that buttoned up. My question. Okay. Oh, okay. Cool. Um, this is more for Charlie. Sorry, miles. Sorry. All right. That's all right. These tend to usually be fun for me. So here we go. Okay. Why do you have such a big chip on your shoulder? People from Illinois. Oh, yeah. Charlie, my God. So wrong with people who live a little further south than you, Charlie. Oh my gosh. What's so wrong with people who live a little further south than you, Charlie?

What's so wrong with Illinois? There is nothing wrong with Illinois. There's just something not quite right about it. Okay. And I'll tell you what it is. It all stems Soldier Field, Chicago Bears. Okay. The The The

The The The The The The come up to Wisconsin in your fib cars, alright, and you expect it that it's Chicago rules. You drive around Chicago, it's like a NASCAR race, okay? You come to Wisconsin, we go a little slower. We wave you past twice at the stop signs, you know, and it's not because

we got nowhere to go. Oh, hang on, my mic is getting a little crazy. It's not because we got nowhere to go. Oh, hang on, my mic is getting a little crazy. It's not because we got nowhere to go, it's just that we're not that interested in getting there that fast. But you guys are pow, pow, pow all the time, and also prices in Door County have skyrocketed. I'm not gonna say cause of you, but you sure haven't helped that situation.

Those are just three things that are kind of beefs that Wisconsin people have with Illinois. And there's more, but I will say that we love ya a lot. We really do love ya. We just sometimes don't like ya. Like if the, you know, and that's it. We really do love you. We just sometimes don't like you. And that's it. And I think that's a healthy thing.

We do love you. It's like, let me ask you this. Do you guys have any beef with anyone from Wisconsin or do you just not think about it? I think that's really what it is, is that you guys just aren't thinking about us and that makes us even more angry, you know? Yeah, I think you're right. Not really thinking about you. Aw.

See, you break my heart like this, I'm gonna go home, cry about it, stuff the emotions down before I walk outside and then it's gonna come back in some unfounded hatred of Illinois. And that's where the chip comes from. But it's, it's, it's meant with love. So that's all I gotta say. Okay. Well, that's good. Well, I got my question for you is what is your gripes with Wisconsin. I just don't understand. I just didn't understand why they didn't like us. I remember when I

was younger, I had a friend and her cousin from Wisconsin would always come down and visit and call spades. And I just, I didn't understand why I'm outside of Chicago. I'd like a Northwest suburb. So yes, Charlie, you got to put yourself in their shoes. They're feeling like these are, uh, like unwarranted shots. They don't feel like they've done anything wrong. That's cause everyone comes up to Wisconsin. They go to Milwaukee and they go, Oh, this is, this is almost as cool as Chicago, you know, or they say like, uh, Oh, this is kind of like Chicago,

but worse, you know, or they go, Hey, at least there's plenty of parking here. We got more than parking in Wisconsin. All right. So we're sort of fighting back against that air of superiority that Illinois, uh, gives, you know, um, well, and here's another question for you as a fib fib as a fibula. Um, yeah, Charlie's got a bone to pick with you fibulas. See it. Oh, that's funny miles. Um, cause tibula is a bone. What is so wrong with just slowing down a little bit once you cross the border? What's so wrong with not cutting people off in traffic? What's so wrong with laying off the horn instead of laying on the horn? Thank you, Miles.

Thank you. Why can't you guys just, you know, hey, show a little bit of respect in that sense? Thank you. Yeah. Miles said it better than me. I guess we're just angry about stuff. What are you angry about? Let's unpack that. Let's do therapy with the whole state of Illinois here. What's wrong? Who hurt you? This is kind of stupid, but I, when I dropped my kids off at school, there's like a line you know to drop the kids off.

And they keep telling me that there's a sidewalk move up, move up, move up. And you know, don't stop the car and let your kids out. Just get them out. And I don't know why but in theory, it's so stupid that people don't pull off and they get out of their car. They unbuckle their kids. They let them out of the car, you know, wave goodbye, you know, and I'm waiting between two cars and I got to get out of there. I got to get to work. I don't have time for that. So that's the problem right there. I honk it honk and yell at them. You know, that's the problem.

But then when people from Illinois spend their whole life saying, I don't have time for this. And then they realize they didn't spend any time doing anything other than trying to get more time. Wow. That's profound miles. That's a really stupid reason to get mad about something. It is, isn't it? get mad about something. It is. It is, isn't it?

But it is stupid. It wears on you. And then you take out your pain and your emotion on the poor people up north, you know, and you buy the land and you jack the prices up, God dang it, and then you're in, you know, you're in our Skull Lanes going 85. Well, if I just wanna park here and enjoy the fall colors, darn it, that's my prerogative.

You know, I mean, the oranges and, and the greens and the Taco Bell purple, the Taco Bell purples. I mean, you got to sit back sometimes and just enjoy the colors because Cause you really got nowhere to be. Life is not about the destination. It's about how slow you can get there. Okay. And that's what you get. So if waiting in that line is an issue, your kids got bikes, right?

Put them on those horses and send them to school. Or get your doors, take off the child protective lock on them teach your kids how to tuck and roll yeah do a drive-by do a drive-by you know exactly it'll build character so i hope you know that this isn't with you personally it's just with the state that It's just with the state that, you know, you're unfortunately living in and, um, yeah. But I do think you. Oh yeah, go ahead. And interrupt.

Um, so, you know, you have your chip on your shoulder and you explained why. Now have you, or would you ever be someone from Illinois? And if you did, how would your family feel about that? Oh God. Oh, I wouldn't tell my family, first of all. I mean, I would lie. I would say that, you know, she's from Beloit, you know? Something like that. I mean, if they found out, Dana bears, I mean, you've seen Romeo and Juliet, right?

This this ends with a double suey, you know, over at Soldier Field. I mean, I hate to say it, but I'm drinking that poison right after you, you know? So it's a tough, it's a tough goal, but love is love. And you can't, you can't help. You're old double suey. Oh yeah. This is a classic double suey situation, Charlie. Yeah. She was from Illinois. He was from Wisconsin. We see this five, seven times a year at least classic double suey. Yeah. Why are you trying to hook me up with the double homie?

You know, no, there's this show on Netflix. It just came out and it's called No One Wants This. It's like this Jewish rabbi guy and then this girl that's just like a hot mess and she's not Jewish. And it's just like a feel-good movie. It's got the guy from the OC on it, Adam Brody. Adam Brody's still alive. He's gonna be following us Wow. I got to give that a watch. Yeah. Are you, are

you trying to get with Adam Brody? Is that what I'm getting here? I'm, I'm married. You're married. So, so you're saying that if a guy, if someone from Wisconsin was dating, uh, another person from Illinois, it would be like a rabbi and a girl who's kind of a mess dating is what you're saying. Who's the rabbi and who's the best. Well, I was listening to every podcast when I worked and I don't know. I just saw it and I thought of how much Charlie has a dislike for people in Illinois. Who's the rabbi and who's the mess in the move or the show in this Wisconsin, Illinois situation is Charlie the rabbi or is Charlie the mess?

No, neither of them. It's the I like all their friends and family. No one wants this. Well, I'll tell you this. Let me say this. Julia, like everyone else. Let me say this to you and all the people of Illinois. I love you. OK, I do. But sometimes I'd like you if you just slowed down a scotch and you bought land in Michigan instead. Come visit. I guess I won't be heading to the Mars Cheese Factory. No, come on. I'm teasing. I'm pulling your leg. get up here. We love you

We do and and here's the thing. I came up to see you at the Sorry No, don't say sorry. God. You are so Midwest. I gotta tell you Let me wrap this up here Let me wrap this up here and just tell you that we do love you and we need you. We need you, okay? We need your love for the bears to transcend. It gives us something to talk about. Cause if we don't have this unfounded hatred for you,

we might have to start feeling our feelings. And that is not something we're about to do. And without Illinois Charlie, it's just go Packers. Yeah, it's so much funner to say fuck the Bears you know. So we punch line to that. Yeah there isn't. Go Packers it's boring. Yeah I mean we thank you because without you you we wouldn't have all your losses against the Packers and we just wouldn't have as much fun so thank you for being you. Without the Bears you wouldn't be able to start the season to know thank you very much yeah well we

appreciate you calling in today thanks for the love thanks for tuning in and yeah thanks for calling in tip your bartender. Thank you very much. Go Packers and F the Bears. We'll see you soon. Bye. Bye. Well, Charlie, is that another solid, good episode of the Bellied Up Podcast in the books? ITB miles in the books.

The books, CBA, could be anything. Could be anything. Could be anywhere. Could be anyone. Hello there, guys. This is Josh. Hey Josh. How you doing my guy Josh. Where you from? No, I'm from Southwest Louisiana and a little bitty town that nobody knows of Southwest. The heel of the boot. Right. Does Louisiana look like a boot? Yeah. Oh yeah yeah, it does. Yeah, he's got the boot to your mittens.

Josh, what's the capital of Louisiana? Booten Rouge. Oh, she's your dear. I'll say he's a boot and rouge. Get it. Do you hear what I said? The boot to my mitten. That was really it was fun.

Sorry, Josh, I missed what you said. Which part? I don't know. Our bar with us on your mind, your mind. All right. So I had a question for you guys. Okay. What's the Midwest equivalent to a crawfish boil? Oh, well, I mean, we got a few equivalents to a crawfish boil. One would say a fish boil. Another would say a fish fry, you know, one

of those things, because I think you got crawfish boil, you kind of just dump it all out on a plate. I would say the closest thing is probably a fish boil or a pickled fish salad You know you get a bunch of this you get a bunch of veggies in there you get a The northern pike with the Y bones you don't want to clean the Y bones She's chop them up put in there pickle up my uncle Joel makes a great one But then you can just kind of dump it out into a smorgasbord. We got a couple options But anyway, why do you ask? Uh, you know just being nosy just chilling out on a Wednesday

What had something interesting happen tonight do tell So over here somebody stole a truck and drove into a convenience store and stole their ATM. That's very inconvenient. That took that. That took the head convenience store and turn it into an inconvenient store. Did she, what miles did right there? Did you see that? Oh yeah. I see what he did. I'm going to head down to the, I'm going to head down to the inconvenience store. You got to go through all the rubble to get inside. Probably pretty convenient for them though. You think they got a good haul out of that or did they get pulled over by the pokey? I was a stolen truck and they crashed in a ditch not far from my sister's house. Okay.

So this has got to be the talk of the town. Sounds like you're in a small town or something like this happens. Got about nine, 800 people in it. Yeah. So you, I mean, this has got to be the talk of the town. Is it the talk of the town? You probably know it did. Oh, we got a picture right here. Hold up. Holy, I can, it looks like a clean break right through. Yeah. They knew the weak spot. Oh my God. Oh yeah. Y'all found it. Yeah. So what they just backed up into it through the ATM in the back of the bed of the truck and drove off. That's pretty much what I'm gathering. Yeah. Who did it? We don't know that much. This is a classic who done it. Who do you think done it? You know, everyone in the town. I don't know everybody, but had to guess probably someone who stole that truck. Okay.

That's good detective work. Do you think there was any meth involved? It seems like a meth ridden accident. It smells a little Matthew. Oh, definitely's not a method boss. Oh yeah. Yeah. Most robberies do have meth involved. I've seen the case. I had a buddy who got robbed by a bunch of meth heads. Meth. Oh yeah. That's pretty much how it goes. Yeah. It's not the breakfast of champions. Tell you that much. Well, what else is going on in your town aside for the lack of one less ATM? I think the rest is just the normal. Well, going about their business, wondering about that ATM. Listen, listen, I understand your where you're coming from of just like, well, an ATM got stolen.

And that's kind of that. This is an unsolved crime right now. All right. And you're just sitting there on your ass in the boot of Louisiana, not solving the crime. It's time for you to start contributing to society. This is your calling. Get up out of the lazy boy. Go to where that truck was found and start looking for clues. You know, they might have left something in maybe some footprints on the grass over

there. You never know. Do you track a deer ever? I know, but I've tracked some ducks before. All right. You gotta start looking for droppings. You gotta look for it to see if there's any sort of- Meth droppings. Yes.

They're like rabbit pellets. Just, pfft. Yeah, looking for some deer bones, boot prints. Yeah. Use needles and anything like that. Anything you start getting through the woods, seeing what? And that's the best case scenario. You find the worst case scenario. You get out in the woods.

You're enjoying life. You know, best case you can solve a crime. Worst case you see a new woodpecker. Well, Charlie, you know, I do like the sense. We're now a true crime podcast. I have a question for you. I'd like you to tell me what you think the perfect crime is. I mean, I think, I think we've witnessed a perfect crime right now. They definitely got caught. They didn't get caught. They haven't

been caught. That's why I told him to go figure it out. They're at large. Yeah. OK, I mean, perfect crime so far. I'm going to crazy things about what's the craziest thing. Thing is, the chief of police owns that store. Oh, oh, oh, we've gone from a classic who done it to a full gone conspiracy. Josh, I think that this was an inside job, my guy. And I think that's that's why it hasn't been solved yet, because the chief of police kind of weird how much they're dragging their feet. And now, now, Miles, how are you going to let your own store get robbed?

Yeah. And it's insurance money. My no miles stop. Stop talking at this point from a journalistic standpoint, because obviously we're journalists. We have to say allegedly before any accusations. Well, this is probably an alleged this is for sure. Alleged possible. There is one could see how someone with police connections

could figure out how no one could figure out who stole an ATM, collect some insurance money and also take the, uh, the Adam, how did they get the ATM? Was the ATM still in the truck? Uh, I think yeah, it was in the bed of the truck. It was broken into. Oh, so they broke in, they got their money and they, Oh, take the money and run. All I know is when this inevitably goes to trial, the lawyers better make sure no one tries on a glove because that could be disastrous. Yeah. Cause you know what they'll say? No glove, no love. No, if it don't fit you, it must've quit. Yeah your medicine, but our hands get bigger. Yeah. That's how it

goes. So we have, I mean, this is a conspiracy theory. We have chief chief of police involved. You own the convenience store. We have the chief police on a convenience store. Probably bought it with his money. Oh, well, I think he inherited it. Oh, he inherited it. She, that's, that's what I'm talking about. It's tough to get a convenience store on a police chief's salary. I think I don't know that there. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me what are some of the murmurs that are going around the small town right now? Maybe who did it seems? Speculative that the police chief owns the store what there any rumors going around right now?

Not that I'm aware of I haven't really talked to anybody about it yet I just got told about my sister told me about it because you know truck crashed by her house. So That's about all I know right now boys what do you do for a living that's more important than solving this freaking crime josh i'm a school bus monitor what do you mean all right so i ride with the substitute drivers and keep an eye on the kids and help them with their actions. So you, you do ride alongs with bus drivers. Pretty much. Freaking awesome.

So that's where all our government money is going. We're paying two bus drivers for one bus. It's going on with the new drivers miles. You can't just send it. Are you kidding me? It's a great way to spend public funds. You can't send a new driver out with a bus full of kids. The one kid, probably you, Miles, is going to smell the weakness

and start fricking with the bus driver, hijack that thing, back it into a convenience store, steal the atom, and then they're off on the deal, ripping it out, going through the woods and hanging out with meth heads. I mean, how dare you question. I think you hit the. Yeah. I think you know that there, Carter.

Yeah, I did, Josh. Don't worry. Hey, I am in full support of you doing this job right now. I know, and the reason Miles was questioning it is he was that kid that would have been hijacking that school bus. No, lots of spit balls. Yeah, it would have been hijacking that school. Well, lots of spitballs. I would have started off with spitballs, but you sense that what if you'd ever be

what he's being spitballs is a gateway drug to stealing ATMs from convenience stores, right? Yeah, it all starts with one spitball. It's a slippery spitty slope after that. So what are some of the stuff you got to deal with as the bus super moderator, monitor, superintendent, kids who were just like you were acting spitballs and shit, breaking up fights, little arguments. Are you guys still to use the rulers to discipline or is that frowned upon now?

I don't get it. It's talking to my dad. Was that that? I don't know. I'm always talking about tomato sauce. That sounds good. Is that your dad? Yep. Yeah. That's my dad. Can you ask him what he knows about the burglary? What do you know about the burglary and how I know that somebody back the truck up, they found the truck. It was stolen. In fact, the truck broke the front end, the long yaw and open and they found the truck down Elliott road, Miranda's house. Yep. That's all we know right now. Does he know any details about how much cash was stolen? No, we don't know that. How much cash was stolen? Look,

I promise you that cash machine has a tractor in it. They know exactly where it's at right now. For sure. It was still embedded in the truck and found a truck. Don't know. They didn't say, Huh? Does he think it was an inside job? Yeah. Ask him that. Do you think it was an inside job because of the chief of police? No, no. Why not? Because I ain't never heard nothing bad about cruise yet.

Now it could have been the last chief police that we had. What's his name? Sean Sean. Then I said, Oh shit. Sean done made him some money. All right. Dad, tell your dad when he says hi. All right. Well, he said hi real good. Okay. So, all right. Good to know the current police of police chief is a, he's a, he's a straight shooter, but the old guy, Sean kind of a piece of shit probably would have done it. Who knows Sean, Sean may have done this in retaliation of losing his chief of police job to new guy. Oh, maybe, maybe we may have a new lead. I feel like we're on CSI Louisiana right now. Yeah. Also, I just learned where I just learned where cop came from chief of police. Oh, cop. I got that.

I don't know if that's true or not. It's true. I just thought of it. What would be the tagline if this was a CSI, you know, right before they do the intro, they do the opening scene and then he takes off his glasses and says a one liner. What would be the one-liner? This guy lost more than his pin. Wow. Honestly, I think they would walk through the doors and say this place is wide open. Yeah. Or, uh, where are you drinking that today? Or are you changing this up? We're not done yet. Let's withdraw

from his. All right. Ah, I lost it. I mean, we can go convenience store again, you know? No, that's convenient. Well, this convenience store again, you know? Yeah. Now that's convenient. Well, this convenience store sure seems inconvenient. Yeah. So we're, we're over at the packing house in Milwaukee. You want to fly up here right next to the airport? Oh yeah. I mean, he's got, he's got a, he's got a crime to solve. Charlie. He can't be fleeing the state. That's true. Now, wouldn't it be something if he was the one that did this and this is his alibi? I mean, that would be hilarious. Did you do it? Well, I got it. I got an alibi.

Well, your alibi, Josh, I was drinking a Miller high life is two 30 a.m. What time you cry? Well, that sounds like someone who maybe robbed a convenience store would say, Yeah, who are you doing? Come with Josh. My dogs, your dogs. Oh, convenient. They can't talk.

Hey, put your dog on the phone. I want to talk to your dog. Put that dog on Josh. Tell your dog, tell your dog I says this. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. That makes me, that makes me relate a message. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh going to get distracted by a cow before he makes it to Milwaukee. Josh, I got to tell you, you're not giving us a whole lot of hope to think you didn't steal that ATM. Oh, well, I didn't steal no truck. But your dad might have something someone would say say he didn't want us to think he stole a truck. Yeah.

And maybe you are telling the truth, but your dad might be in on it too, Josh. Yeah. Well, if he's in on it, then it's for him for living the retirement life. I think you guys are trying to frame that former chief of police. Sean. Sean, Sean, I'm going to call the Louisiana Sun. Plan a little story in here, a little plan, a little seed in their brain. I know you're talking about good journalism, Charlie. Yeah, it's twenty twenty four.

It's dead. All right. Well, honestly, good luck on the, on the case. Good luck finding evidence. I know you call us back once you find him. Cause I don't know if I'm be able to sleep very good at night, knowing that there's a criminal at large currently in the boot of Louisiana. All right. Hey, that's good talking's good. Yeah. Watch out for gators and snakes and creepy crawlies and pickups and ATMs. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. For near. All right. Thanks my guy. We see you soon. My favorite part of the call was that his dad had, you know, he was, I don't know anything

yet, but he came off. If I had, is not the current chief of police. He's got the dirt on the old guy So okay, I like that he comes off firing on it. Yeah good good dad, you know, Josh is a nice guy, too I hope he wasn't offended. We accused him of potentially being involved in this but he did start Our mind unless proven innocent. We're all suspicious. OK, Kale, well, why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind. Well, I've got a I've got a lot of friends that are

wanting to do some double dates, but they just can't seem to pull any girls. So they I I need some help on how I can be a good wingman here, you know? OK, so one not to brag, you got yourself a girl. Correct. Well, I do. Yeah. Believe it or not. Are you married girlfriend fiance? Uh, so, so, uh, I'm actually 17 years of age, but so I'm not married. You're 17. That complicates all the advice we're going to give you. Yes. It really, I had a whole host of things that I was going to maybe say.

Thank you for clarifying that before we were in some trouble. I figure we get that out of the way. Yeah. Okay. First question that pops in my head is why are you so worried about going on double dates at 17 years old? Well, I'm just trying to help out my buddies. You know, you guys are 17. Yeah. What are they more interested in Fortnite than hanging out with girls or what? I'm a lot of, a lot of them are. Yeah. And what's so wrong with that, Kale? Well, there's nothing that's wrong with that. They just, well, so see, here's the predicament is

they all would like some, they would all like some female interaction in their life, but they just, they don't know how to get it. And so I'm trying to be of assistance if I can, you know? You sound like you're 30. Yeah. You sound like you're 30. I sound like I'm 30, is that like you're like, I'm 30. That

what you said? You know, I actually get told a lot that I'm really old. Okay. Or I sound like I'm really old. What are you? So, well, hold on. How did you meet your girlfriend? I asked her on a date at, at school. Well, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, is do you say, well, like what class? Where in school? How did it happen? Give us an outer locker. I didn't ask her. I didn't ask. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I thought it was for a, for a dance. Hey, Bronco, you want to go close that door for did you just call someone? Hang on pause. So I pause. Did you just call that guy Bronco? That's his name. So Kale and Bronco are chilling, playing Fortnite on their summer break.

No, we're we're we're working right now. Oh, where are you working at? We're we're beekeepers, believe it or not. You're beekeepers. This is this just keeps getting more and more, this is the onion that just keeps peeling. Hey, is Bronco your brother by chance? No, he's the boss's son.

Do you mind if I put you on speaker so I can use both my hands? Yeah, go put us on speaker. It's just zzzzz. Okay. All right, boys, if you can't hear me, let me know. I'll figure something else out. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz they're like underneath boxes. So the honey doesn't fail. And we're just banding them up so we can store them. Oh, that's great. I like that. Yeah. We can count each one. You're standing up. It's nice. So what is, so you're wondering how you're going to help your guy buddies get girlfriends. Is that what you're wondering? Well, at least, I don't know, just help them out a little bit. You know, whatever you can do to help me with that. All right. All right, Charlie, let's, I want you to close your eyes and pretend

you're back in high school. Okay. How are you going to help your other high school friend get a girlfriend? What's not a stock that you weren't good at that in high school. Yeah. You weren't good at it like Kayla's. I mean clearly. Is he's reeling and dealing. He's got school. Yeah. I'm like, Kale, you're going to. So if I'm in high school and I'm trying to be a good wingman, I am probably starting a rumor that one person likes another person. Remember that?

It was so... Oh, I like the way you're thinking. Charlie likes Miranda. You know, I heard that. You're maybe at lunch in the cafeteria. Now you just spill that information out plant the seed Yeah, yeah, I do like that now. I've got to ask with all the technology going on do kids still write notes What do you mean you can't confirm or deny a dude? You're in school. Who are we

going to? Well, I mean, I don't have enough. Like, I don't know if people do that. I don't know. Not that I've seen. You've never not writing notes. You're going to accidentally send a Snapchat to the wrong person saying that Charlie likes Miranda, right? That's you guys use. Okay, I see what you're saying. I don't, but a lot of people do. Well, you're giving us a lot to work with here, Kale. I'm I'm trying to bad boys. No, you keep putting those palettes on that. The honey is serious business.

So I'm going to think back to when I was a high schooler. If I was with my girlfriend, I wanted as much alone time with my girlfriend in high school as virtually possible. And you're wanting to go on double dates. What's, what's the real root of this? What? Sorry. What's the real root of wanting to go on double dates? I don't know. A lot of my buddies just have very strict parents, you know, do you have non-strict parents? I don't know. I don't know a lot of my buddies just have very strict parents, you know Do you have non strict parents? I? Don't know I wouldn't say non-strict, but they're very very loving and forgiving parents So you're having the parties at your house then is what you're saying Yeah, pretty much. Okay

All right Charlie were you allowed to have parties growing up? Oh God, I had 12 kids growing up. The house was never empty. That's true. I think a party with a friend would be a party with the whole family. That's true. Exactly. So listen, you've got, you're trying to get

your motivation here. How long have you been dating your girlfriend? Nine months. Nine months. And we cut you off before I cut you off. date and your girlfriend? Oh, nine months, nine months. And we cut you off before I cut you off. Where did you guys meet? Uh, so there was a, there was a school dance and I asked her to do it. And then she, she asked me on another date and that's how that happened. And that's how that happened. Okay. Oh, Christ. Disaster.

You just dropped a pallet? Did you get stung by a bee? I haven't yet today, but I did a whole bunch yesterday, or the day before. A lot of, a lot of Epi pens getting thrown around at this job. I like it. All right. I got the solution. I'm not, I'm not allergic though.

I don't ever have to be happy. But Bronco here had to use one yesterday. Well, sorry to hear that Bronco Bronco was almost not bucking anymore. I'll tell you that close call. He just, he just held my hand and his Bronco there, by the way, can we talk to Bronco? Oh yeah. Here he is. There you go. Bronco. Bronco you there. What are you doing? Working in a beekeeping job, being allergic to bees. My uncle's family business. It's a family business. You know, you risk it all for the family. That's how it goes. So I was allergic to like a month ago. Well, glad you've changed course. You fired up your resume. Now knowing you are allergic to bees. Oh, I should go. Yeah. I mean, it's just,

you're constantly living in a state of thrill. I could die at any moment. And maybe that's what keeps you there. We've got plenty of evidence. Just give me another one. They get back to work is yesterday. So you're not even getting the day off after getting stung by being getting stabbed with. Oh, I know. I worked, I worked seven more hours after that. And how old are you Bronco? 16. Okay. They just, you know, they don't make kids like they used to Bronco is one of the, you know, he's one of the's one of the, my dad would be very proud of Bronco. He'd be way more proud of Bronco than he is of me. You know, with a name like Bronco, you really, you really got to live up to that situation. Well, is that your God given name or is that a nickname?

Oh, God given name. I love it. I's I mean, what do you ever wonder why your name Bronco Bronco? Oh, I do actually wonder why. I don't know why, but I wonder all the time you ever ask. I do ask them and they don't even know why they're naming Bronco. Oh, OK. OK, all right. We'll leave it at that. You're 16. Hey Bronco. Do you have a girlfriend or any idea how to get Kail's friends to talk to

is Kail talking about Bronco right now while he's in the room? I am that friend. You are. Yeah. Okay. Well, Bronco, what do you want to, do you want to hang out with girls? Yeah. Okay. Well, what, what's what, why haven't you been able to hang out with girls and talk to girls? They scare me. They scare you. You can't even just do. comfortable around people of the female variety. I mean, with a name like Bronco, you shouldn't have any fear. I think what he does, Charlie's you got to lead in with the B thing. Oh yeah.

He's a B. Oh, I like the way you boys are thinking. Yeah. You just lead in with the beekeeping. You maybe, maybe you just leave Bronco just about brought the whole building down in case you boys are wondering how he just about KO the ceiling with a, with the forklift, but it's okay. We're good. We didn't get crushed. Anyway, sorry to interrupt you. Should I even ask if he's certified on that thing? No, no one, no one that works here is certified. That's the wrong answer. What if we were undercover OSHA agents?

You got to say yes, we are for everybody here has went through many, many hours of rigorous rigorous training on the forklift. Good job, kale. Okay. So what you're going to do Bronco is you're going to, you're going to be in the hallway at school. Oh, sorry. Hold on.

Hold on. Bronco Bronco just took off on the forklift, but I can relay this message for him if you want. Or you can wait. I think the forklift is a good... Look, Bronco can give tours of a beekeeping facility. You know? So, find the nerdy bee-loving girls or find the machine-loving girls. He can give forklift rides. Well, I'm thinking you go the badass route. I like the way you think. What's the bad ass route? Like he needs to be leaned up against the locker in the school hallway

and just casually around some girls. But I almost died last week. Yeah, it's a close call. Oh, I like the way. Yeah. Nothing a little. And then I've got to help. I've got to help like add on to these stories, right? Help them like help them give them more reasons for them to be true. Yes, Kale, build the legends, my man.

He got stung by a bee and he just didn't even stop. I, well, he was running the forklift. I had to stab him with an EpiPen. The guy just keeps going. He's the Energizer bunny. Yeah. Help build their relationship upon a mountain of lives. Yeah.

She's just like, what a man. One, his name is Bronco. And two, he's named after a crazy horse for heaven's sakes. He's gotta be a good guy. Yeah, exactly. And nothing will make someone like someone more than if they flirt with death and survive. Nothing's hotter than that.

That's why all the women were crazy about evil, can evil back in the day. Guy that women love guys who flirt with death and come out unscathed. Exactly. And you've got to talk. You say you can even throw it in there. Bronco is the evil, can evil of forklift operators. You know, like I've seen him. seen him build the legend. I like the way you boys are thinking. I tell you what you guys, whoever's running that beekeeping

is running a tight ship. You guys haven't stopped sensing on the phone. See, I, I tried to call you earlier, but then a whole boss man started yelling at us. So I had to hang up. Oh, that's what that was. Yeah. All it was was, um, and then click. Thanks for letting us know. Yeah. Well, yeah. He, uh, he's gone now though, so we can do it every one. Yeah, I like that. Well, I think, yeah, just help Bronco out. One legend at a time. Build one legend at a time. Start with Bronco.

Once Bronco gets himself a gal, you can move on to your other friends. I like the way I like that one at a time. Don't overcomplicate ourselves here. You know, with a name like Bronco, you should just tell everyone that his middle name is danger. And I honestly, I don't think I had an eye at that. I'm going to be one question about that. What? There's not going to be. Oh no. I don't know. I'm just, I'm just not very good at doing two things at once.

What's Bronco's actual middle name. Let's determine if danger is a better Bronco. What's Bronco's actual middle name? Let's determine if danger's a better Bronco. What's Bronco? What's your middle name? What's your middle name? Bronco Clive. Oh, sorry. Clive. And this is actual middle name. Cliven Bronco Cliven. Yeah. I mean, you say he sounds like an outlaw. He does. Is that their Bronco clad? Yeah, he does. We're building a lot of lore behind this guy. I like the way this is going here. He's going to be running through ladies like it's nobody's business. You guys and by running lady running through ladies, we meet lots of hand stuffs in movie

theaters at age 16. Right? There'd be no no inappropriate activities. Absolutely not. Hey, you guys take your money, get Bronco leather jacket, work on his lean against the locker before you know it. One friend will have a gal and then it's just domino effect from there. Okay. I like, I like this plan boys. All right. Well, thanks for calling in. Get back to work and watch out for bees. Hey, I appreciate, I appreciate your advice. I'll try not to get stung for you the rest of the day. Real good, real good. Cal. We'll see you soon. All right. You boys watch out for deer. We'll see. All right, my guy. Bye bye. I like it. My house is not

where I thought that call was going Charlie, but we are here and we're he it's very funny. It's like high school relationships don't matter. No, not it. I didn't want to have the hard to tell kale that I usually wait till the early twenties to say it's not going to last. You do say that a lot. Yeah. Just for funsies, you know, and if it, if it doesn't last, I was right. And if it holds that test, that just, whatever doesn't break, it makes it stronger, you know? And we know what I'm having regrets about Charlie. What is that? I didn't name my kid

Bronco Cliven Montplager. It's just, when he said, we already got a social security card too. card to like it's gonna be a lot of paperwork to change it But you know what you're gonna do the right thing. I know. Yep. So he's no longer August. He is bronco-cliving. I mean that Should we take another call let's take another call. Oh, hi, what's your name? I'm Should we take another caller? Let's take another caller. Oh hi, what's your name? I'm Patty. Hi Patty, where are you calling in from?

Wisconsin. Where in Wisconsin, Patty? Be more specific. Delavan. Oh Delavan, beautiful this time of year. Belly up onto the bar with us, Patty. Tell us what's on your mind. Well, I'm going, well, I went through a breakup.

Oh, sorry. A couple of weeks ago. Oh, so fresh. Yeah, it's such a bummer, right? Did you like him? Oh, I hated him. No, of course I liked him. Did you break up with him?

I always date guys I like. Well, I know, but you broke up. Honestly, though, you'd be surprised. There's a lot of people out there at day people that they hate their guts and they just are afraid to get out of it. You stay in it, you know? Well, give us some details on the breakup. Yeah. Who did it? He did it. Ah, what was his reason? There was no reason. Like it was so weird. Yeah. So I don't have closure. And then apart from that, I have some of his stuff and I'm friends with, we're all, we all have the same friend.

What's the friend group saying about the breakup? What are there? There has to be some information about it. They're like, what? Like, well, okay. Cause like, well, you know, I kind of just, it was weird. Okay. So we were planning on getting together and I was making a pasta bake. And then all of a sudden, you know, we're going back and forth. Oh, let's have some pasta bake and hang and whatnot. And then he's like, we need to talk. And I'm like, what?

And I called him up like, you want to break. And I'm like, what? And I called him up like, you want to break up? I'm like, no one texts that. Like who texts we need to talk. And then they want to pour tea or something. I don't think that happens. Yeah, but I was like, you want to break up. I will have to say it is nice to get a warning shot text though about the talking.

Yeah. It's tough to just think that you're gonna hang out and have fun and then they show up and it's somber. At least you got a little bit of a warning shot. It was a heads up. I could see that being something. So, but then he called you and he really told you the deal, huh?

Well, then I'm like, well, do you just want to break up or whatever? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, okay. I have some of your stuff. You have some of my stuff. Let's just meet up somewhere and exchange the stuff. So okay, fine. We meet up. We exchange the stuff. No one talks about anything. There was no talking. It was just like, okay, canceled. And I'm like, okay, cool. But not cool. But fine. But I don't even think

our friends even knew the difference because we're both pretty independent. Like I'm busy a lot, he's busy a lot. Like we're both doing stuff. So I don't even think anybody even realized that like we weren't together, you know? You have no insight as to why he wanted to break up. He just canceled his subscription to you

without any notice. I feel like I am a seriously codependent person and I love too much and I do too much. And we're both musicians and we're both busy and whatever, but like I still take the time to like, I just think that he didn't like not having all the, like, I don't know what he didn't like, but I think I did too much. So you're saying you squeezed the teddy bear a little too hard and the head popped off. Yeah, I think I did, you know, and I just. But then again, I don't think I did, though,

because like we would go for like a while without hanging out or whatever. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I did. How old are you guys? I don't know what I'm 43 and he's 32. OK. Um. Do you have so you think that might be the reason it might if you had to put your finger on somebody be that you were a little too much for him?

Well, I have a secret. Oh, please, do, Tati. He has a very good friend. Who is a girl who has had a crush on him for many, many years and I don't like her and I don't like the way she touches him and talks to him and stuff. And one time we were all out and she said something, you know, like rude to me and I didn't take it. I was like, girl, I said, y'all can like and love each other as much as you want to,

but it's gonna take me a long time to warm up to you, you know, the way you're acting and stuff like that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And it was like kind of like one of those things. Yeah, and then everything kind of like fell apart. You know what I mean? He had to choose homies and stuff like that.

It's also like. Also what? Yeah. Yeah. Well, what were you gonna say? Well, they both have a. Similar lifestyle habit that, like, I don't have. Smoking weed and like, no, not that it's something else. They're connected. I just, you know, it's not, you know, it's just like when you ski on mountains and stuff and like cocaine, cocaine.

I'm not. That's exactly what you're talking about, isn't it? So you're saying that, isn't it? Hold on. So you're saying that they like to go skiing together, as he said? Like, no, no booger sugar. Oh, they like to do coke. They like. So you're right. You know what? Look at me. This day and age, Patty, I got to tell you, with all the fentanyl

and stuff going on out there, you kids not so bad. You don't want to be messing around with the booger sugar. OK, so in the end, this is probably the right thing to do. Probably the right thing as much as it is, it sucks. Absolutely. It's the right thing to do. Like, I'm not I mean,, obviously like my ego's bruised and I'm, you know, I have feelings, right? You know, but the thing is it, this is my question. So that's the backstory. But the question is, is like, I, I still have like

some of his stuff and I didn't you do the meetup and already exchanged stuff. You have more stuff on top of that. Yeah. It was too short notice. And I had, well, and then too, some of the stuff that he gave back to me, it didn't belong to me. He gave me back. Okay. So that was this whole time. I've been trying to see if there was an opportunity to ask this. I'm just going to ask it, Charlie. Do you think that there was a chance? And I don't mean to hurt your feelings here that there was another girl, mainly the Coke girl not to be like whatever, but the Coke, the Coke girl is really not that attractive. Yeah. I know it's good. It's good. You're whispering that.

Cause that we'll just keep that. I don't think. Yeah, your own deeper. Oh man. Well, you know, okay. Yeah. All right. Doesn't matter if I whisper it. I don't think they're attractive. I think he's attracted to him, but I don't think that he's attracted to her and like he does have a female roommate. So like maybe the laundry got mixed up. He gave me back this like black song that is like, not my size at all. Like bigger than me. And I'm like, why is this in the laundry that he gave me back? You know? And then like I did it.

It was the short notice. What did fit his roommate? I didn't know. Well, his roommate married. He was with a married couple. It's the whole thing. Yeah. Do they have pineapples at their house hanging upside down? You know what? I freaking love pineapples. Like I love pineapples. Like the fruit, you know?

Like why does everybody have to take everything, right? Like the rainbows, the pineapples, the unicorns. Well, you know, everybody's got their own things, you know? Everybody's got their own thing. What the hell is he doing to stand up? I don't know. What's the deal with all the swingers? Yeah, I love pineapples and I took that from me. Those were my favorite bird.

Damn it. Now they think I'm fornicating with Mrs. Wilensky down the street. Bingo flamingos. Oh, flamingos. Yeah, that's a swinger symbol, too. I didn't know that actually. I Corunda. Yeah. Oh my gosh. My golf partner love flamingo. Well, you know, I feel like this call.

She's just slowly losing her innocence. Like I feel like we're just exposing her now to more things here. And I don't know. I like, Oh my gosh. Yeah. Do you know how babies are made? Oh, I, I practiced a couple of times, but I don't really know. Okay. Well, so the thing to answer your question about your mutual friends is that were you guys mutual friends with them before the relationship or did one of you become friends with them after the relationship? No, it's worse.

Like we kind of like we both play music. We both work in the same sort of scene. Um, we both go to the same festivals. Like I'm going to bump into the guy and I'm going to bump into all the friends. Like the friends are beautiful. They're so beautiful. Everybody is so beautiful except the one he buddy. Um, what kind of music do you play? Yeah. Whatever the F I want, Charlie. Oh, she's a punk rocker. I seriously have you. I won't do what you tell me. OK, I see. I wonder why I got broken up with.

I mean, no, throw it back at me, you know? I'm sorry, you know, you didn't get to do your pasta, bake, and chill. That was unfortunate, but you don't need to blame me for that. I feel like you have two different personalities here. Yeah, and we're seeing them both on this. Just sweet Patty and then all the Patty.

If you don't tell me what to do. Yeah. I'm just teasing tell me what to do. Yeah. I'm just teasing. I was just kidding. So you're in punk rock. I play the keyboard. You play the keyboard? No, I'm not a punk rocker.

But I am punk on the inside, I think. I'm kind of punk on the inside. You heard what I just said. I was kind of punky. What genres of music? I don't know a lot of punk people that go, you know what? I'm kind of punky. What genres of music? You know, I don't know a lot of punk people that go, you know what? I'm kind of punky on the inside. Is it bluegrass?

You play bluegrass? Sometimes. Sometimes I might play bluegrass tonight with my friend because he plays the band. Joe, do you know my buddy Adam Groll from Horseshoes and Hand Grenades? Do you know my buddy Adam Grohl from Horseshoes and Hand Grenades? Your buddy probably knows my buddies, but I know his music, but I don't know him. I don't think. OK, are you guys at the same festivals? Blue Ox and all that?

Oh, I didn't go to Blue Ox. I don't play like I'm a vendor at these festivals. Well, I might play. Wait, are you a musician or a vendor at these festivals. Well, I might play. Wait, are you a musician or a vendor? I'm confused now, Patty. I read tarot cards as a vendor, but I also play music. So depending on the scene, I might be playing music or I might be setting up a tent and reading people's tarot cards.

Oh, this is just getting deeper and deeper. Explain to me the reading of the cards. Well, there's 78 cards in a deck and you pull some and then you like, they're like flashcards. They're like Rorschach inkblots or something. Like it's like archetypes and it sort of sparks people's intuition. I just want to give people a tool to kind of like help themselves spark their own intuition. You know, like when you go to flip a coin and you're like, okay, heads or tails, I'm going to go drink a PBR today. And you obviously want it to be heads because

you want to drink your PBR, you know, and yeah, okay. Well, can we, can we do it here on the show with Charlie here? Can we do something similar? Yeah. But you want your tarot cards? Yeah. Can we do it over the phone? Oh, I could pull. Yeah. Well, I mean, are, are you being sincere? Like, do you sincerely have a question or should, you know, because seriously, like the cart, like I, you know, I, I try to be real sincere when I do it, like, do you really have a question? We are very, very curious on how this all works and we'd like to do it with you. All right. Well, the way it works is that whoever's the client, whoever's

going to ask the question, you keep that question in your mind. Please don't tell me what it is, but just focus on it like really hardcore. Okay. And like, focus, look around for a deck of tarot cards really quick. Yeah, we're going to get. Don't accidentally pull the sheep's head cards. Can Charlie tell me the question? No. Well, I mean, that's up to you guys. I'm not telling you my question. No, you're going to make fun of me for like four episodes. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Not giving them any more ammunition.

Patty, do you find those cards? No, I'm stumbling them right now. Let's go. All right. Let's get into Charlie's intuition. Thank you. Thank you so much. By the way, my tagline is thank you for fine tuning your free will and intuition with me. So thank you. Shout out your tarot business, Patty, for all the folks who are curious. I'm called Esperanza Benz. They tarot Esperanza Benz a tarot. You can find me all over southeastern Wisconsin.

I'll be reading in Janesville on Saturday. OK, all right. There you have it. All right. Well, I don't know how Janesville on Saturday. Okay. All right. There you have it. All right. Well, I don't know how much I want to say, like this is all over the internet and stuff. Like it's just so like random and weird, but I do want your advice and I'll give you some advice too with these cards.

So let me know when you're ready and I'll throw the three cards. Okay. I'm ready. Okay. He's got his question in his mind. That's what he should be doing right now. Oh cool. You got the high priestess. Oh my gosh. You got the lovers and you got the high row fan. Holy moly. You got three major arcana cards all at once. That's like pulling three ACEs in a lake. yeah, baby card. Look at you. Let's go. So what does it mean, Patty?

What do you think? OK, I'm going to have to take a picture of these beautiful cards and like send them over to belly up. Take a picture and tweet them at us, bellyed up or on Instagram, too. Or on Instagram, whatever. Well, I love you to see these beautiful cards I don't know what any of this means Charlie but I am so psyched I know I pulled three aces man I won I am also very psyched I am also very psyched man man. So check this out. All right, the High Priestess, dude. Okay, so she is a card that represents a character who is really in tune with her divine feminine

intuition. She knows what she knows. She doesn't always say what she knows, but it's like a card of having that higher guidance from a feminine perspective. So look what you're doing right now. And then the card of the, um, that's in the middle of the spread because like the high priestess and the hierophant, that's crazy too. Cause the hierophant is like, where's the high priestess is more like the spiritual, um, woman of the occult. The hierophant is like a priest,

like somebody who's in an organized religion, like a church, you know? So that's like the two sides of the same coin and they make a really good couple. Duality, duality there, Charlie. Yes, like they make like a really good couple. And then in the middle, it's the lovers. And obviously, duh, we all know what that is.

And the lovers is also... I mean, as well as being a card of a soulmate path, the lovers is also a card of choices. It's strong Gemini energy. And it's a card of choosing to take that path with another or with yourself. If you choose to take a soulmate path, like going after your passions or creativity or whatever it is. So you can tell us or not tell us what your question was. No, I'm not telling any of you guys. Yeah. Hell no. It's my own spiritual journey. My

own spiritual journey. No, no. Come up with a different question then that you could tell us. I want to know if I was going to get a buck this year. Apparently you're going to get like a dang good one. I'm going to get bucked this year. Miles boom. Get bucked baby. Look at that banger rang. So how do you, how do you determine that? Well, I just think that these cards are just so lucky all three of them They just all pop come on like come on even happen you should you're gonna get a buck Yeah, Patty age you even shuffle that deck or no That was offensive see of course she Dude, I totally shuffled the deck. She's a pro, dude.

That was offensive. See, of course she shuffled the deck. How dare I? I'm sorry, Patty. Patty, that's awesome. Hey, you really put some juice in my gas tank today. I appreciate that. That was really nice.

Some OJ. Oh, you should definitely put gas in the gas. They not you. Well, you know what? Oh my God. Oh, that's pretty slick. That's great. We got it. Hey, okay. Do I throw the t-shirts away or whatever? And the song or do I make a point? Hey, here we go. Let's pull some more cards and determine what you're going to do with his clothes. Determine why I'm going to do my. No, no, she's she's already moved back on to what she's going to do with the ex

boyfriend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep up, Charlie. I know you got fever. I am. Oh, yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. maybe a reason for a second guess in his life, you know? No, it was so fast that I didn't realize that I had his shirts in my laundry. And then I tried to give him back right away. And like he just just fricking disappeared. Like, you know, and I mean, they have a weekly gig at this one spot where like I also would be there usually, but I'm just like avoiding the scene, you know, but this one girl that works there is like, dude, I really wish I would see you, you know, you know, and blah, blah, blah.

So I was like, all right, well, maybe I'll just drop it off to her when I know nobody's going to be there. Well, let's see. Let's pull some cards and then you'll know what to do. Let's do it. Shuffle that deck. Now I want you to hold that question in your mind, but don't tell us. Well, I just told you, Oh, well, I, let's just see what the, yeah, let's see what the cards say. Let's see what the next card in the deck is and that's going to determine the outcome here. So it's like, all right, my question. Oh jeepers, I'm getting potential spam is calling me right now. Ignore it or merge the calls. You want to merge the call? Oh, okay. I got, um, is the call merged? Oh my gosh. No, I don't think I did. I got King

of Pentacles reverse. You got what? So King of Pentacles reverse. And what is that? Is that King got big Pentacles? Explain to me as if I don't know anything about this. They're definitely reversed. Okay. So the King of Pentacles is the card of somebody who's really responsible. They're usually a Taurus, a Capricorn, or a Virgo person. They're very earthy, and they're very able to take care of people, places, and things. They're a good father figure.

Now, the King of Pentacles reversed. That's like being a little bit irresponsible or maybe needing to get a handle and get a little bit more grounded in the situation. There's some sort of ungroundedness to the whole situation. I think you got your answer. The first thing you said. Yeah, I'm just going to tell I'm just gonna put the bag of crap in my car and then like if I ever happen to just like bump into him or anybody else.

You're reading it wrong. You said earth in the first part and you said grounded in the next. The cards want you to bury this shit. Oh my God! Wow, Miles, you did it. You got it! Dig a hole, dump it in, just like the old farmers do.

Cover it up and go on your way. That's it, and it will be very spiritually revitalizing for you to bury, put in the ground. Yeah, it's kind of like- Hold a funeral for that relationship. Yes! Say your own- Thank you. What do they call it at a funeral?

The eulogy. Say a eulogy for this relationship. This whole time you've been looking for closure, have a funeral for the relationship, dump the clothes in there, and then don't let it suck any more of your energy. Right, and you better do it quick before the ground freezes.

Oh my goodness. Yes, I Thank you, thank you very much that's actually really good advice, you know what Patty Thank you for calling us today, and we're happy that we could help you and you helped us Okay, I'll take a picture of those cards for you. Yes Also, you gotta let us know where we can get a deck of cards because now I'm addicted to the advice life. Oh my gosh. Well, I yeah, I there's so many places to get cards and yeah, if if you ever need a reading, you know how to find me. So thanks for Patty. Thank you. This was great. Bye bye. Bye. Bye. Well, Patty was a great way to end that episode. Charlie. Yeah. You're getting a buck. She's going to

dig a hole. I mean, and miles, can I just say, dude, I am impressed with you. I mean, look at you both flying. You're a Toro card reader and the whole deal. I mean, I got myself some Toro cards. Hey, do you know if you're a vertigo or a? I'm an Aries. Oh, I'm a, I'm a Taurus. Yeah.

Ann's a Taurus actually. Is she? And so that must be how you select your life partners. With the cards? No, by Ann. You select your life partners. With the cards? No, by and. Hey, you're my life partner. Yeah, I'm a Taurus guy. I'm attracted to a nice old bowl.

I'm your work husband. Yeah, you really are. So well, folks, I mean, you never know what you're going to get here on the Bellied Up podcast. That's for gosh darn sure. Hello, this is Sally. Hi, Sally. This is miles and Charlie from the bellied up podcast. Hello. How's it going, Sally? You having a good day? Yeah, I'm having a great day. How are you guys doing? Great bellied up to the bar. Yeah, I hear you have got some resolutions you want to chit chat about.

One of the things I want to accomplish is using chopsticks a little bit more. You got the chopstick ambitions, Sally. You woke up 2024 and you're like, you know what? 2025, that's going to be the year of the chopsticks. But the thing is, that's right. But it's not even to learn how to use chopsticks. It's just to use them a little bit more. Actually, I have to learn how to use them in the first place. I found a couple of sets in the, in the junk drawer.

And that's what really inspired me to say, Hey, these are little dusty, you know, maybe they're under the set of keys that I don't even know what the hell the keys are for. We've got some batteries in here and shit like that. I'm like chopsticks. This is, this is good. And, and I want to use them for various foods not just Chinese or I mean Korean barbecue you know I'm like they're going to waste

here in the junk drawer let's get some good chopsticks that and learn how to eat them yeah I'm very proud of you I mean that's not the typical New Year's resolution we hear what's been had you look up a YouTube video learn how to use them. I'm very proud of you. I mean, that's not the typical New Year's resolution We hear what's been had you look up a YouTube video on how to properly use chopsticks or? You find a friend No, I just found the chopsticks in my junk drawer. That's the whole story here, huh? That's that's about it now Since then we've had a lot of leftovers in the fridge. So we haven't ordered Chinese food. So, you know, don't have any soy sauce in the cover, but yeah,

that's one of my New Year's resolutions. And I have all year long. It's not like I have to use them by January 13th. I have them. I have them. And that's the first step. Well, and honestly, the first couple months is all mental work anyways. You know, you got to be, you're thinking about how you're going to attack it. What's the first food you're going to try with it. I have a very similar New Year's resolution. I want to solve in a Rubik's cube

without any help whatsoever. So in the corner. Yeah. I'm going to put myself in a room by yourself in the corner. Yep. Yep. By miles. Wow. That's impressive miles. I don't know what's harder to figure out the chopsticks or a Rubik's Cube because everyone can kind of use Chopsticks but to use them the way they're supposed to be used I don't even know if I'm using chopsticks. You want to know what my wife does with chopsticks. Does she poke it? What does she do? She you know, like the wood ones come where like you break them apart. Yeah, she doesn't break them apart She just separates them a little bit and just pinches stuff And just pinches it. Oh

That's a cheater. I know that's a cheater there my first Is I'm gonna move them. I'm gonna move them from the junk drawer I've heard dumb this step. I moved them from the junk drawer to set to the drawer with the spoons and the knives and the forks. So you look at them every time you want to eat every time you're reminded, hey, I got a year to figure out this whole chopstick thing. Correct. That's very ambitious. Did you have wrapped in that in that in that paper? So I mean, they're still clean take the next step today Take that paper off. Hey, don't rush her. Don't rush. I'm not trying to rush her but for God's sakes

We're months into the year now. It's time to take it's time to take off the gloves Okay. All right. All right. Well tough love from Barron's over here. I'm just telling you Wow You want me to use chopsticks with a glove? That's not going to come till like October or November. Is that what I heard you say? No, I should take that. Well, you I, I would like to see you just add a tailgate wearing gloves, using your chopsticks on some communal food there. That'd be great.

I mean, honestly, this is something that would crush on Tik Tok. You just go like day one of attempting to learn how to use chopsticks. And then it's you just fumbling with them and not being able to use them. And then by day 40, you got it down and then people lose their mind on it. It would be funny if you're tailgating and you're wearing the snow gloves and you're at the Green Bay Packer Stadium. You're using drumsticks for chopsticks. Oh yeah. Yeah. That would be funny. How are you going to? I don't know. No, I like it too. Don't lose faith in that idea. That's a good bit right there. Yeah.

You got the big gloves on, you know, the insulated ones and you got some drumsticks. That's fine. Good. I like what you're doing there. Do you have an idea? Do you have an idea in your mind? The first food you're going to attempt this with, or are you just going to let it happen? Well, it's not going to be Cheerios. I'll tell you that much right now. That was what I was going to suggest was Cheerios. Okay. Well, that's off my list. What else are you thinking? I'm thinking cubes of chicken and some broccoli. Yeah, very good. Why do they call it chopstick?

You don't really chop with them. You ever think about that? You can stab. They could be stabbed. They're really like they're they're they're holding sticks. Really?

That's the beginner rules. You separate the wooden chopsticks. You stab your chicken. That's not using chopsticks. No, they're not stabbing sticks, but what I'm saying is you're not chopping with the damn sticks either, right? Like you're not chopping your broccoli.

You're kind of chopping a little bit. Kind of chopping. Oh, gosh. Kind of a little bit. In my thing, Miles, chopping with- It's more of a pinch. Yeah, they're pinch sticks their pinch stick Yeah, cuz chop would mean something gets divided into two, right? You think it's like that they're you're correct

Do you think that they're chops of like bamboo? Oh, that could be it like they like chop it and then make them into the sticks it's also translated from Chinese or Japanese or right. So maybe the, you know, it's probably some, I want to figure out, hey, can we figure out why they call chopsticks chopsticks? What are you doing on your phone over there?

Texting his girlfriend all day. Oh my gosh, texting her girlfriend. On the job. Yeah. Jake is. Jake, how long you been dating her? Oh, God, Jake. Say that again? They come from calling him Chop Chop.

They come from calling him Chop Chop, like Chop Chop, Cheerio? He's been no help. Did you just Google it? Is that what the AI on Google says? Cause that's all right. Anyways, you keep digging on that. So you're going with cubes of chicken. I don't like that. No, no, I just changed my mind. I'm going with deep fried cheese curds. There we go. Once I learn how to use chopsticks, my first food, my very first food after practice will

be a deep fried cheese curd culvers and I'm going to dip it. Oh, wow. Okay. You're getting crazy. This is ambitious. Is this your only new year's resolution? No, I had another one, but I forgot what it was. Oh, I remember. Yeah, I remember too. I kind of forgot like what I call it. Cause it was like back in January when I got, I think it was like to not use vacation time or PTO. That's not what you said. What did she say? Oh wait, maybe. Uh, no, no, That's not, you want to learn how to moonwalk

Sally. That was, that was the other one. That was the other one. Yeah. Cause I couldn't remember for the life of me when I finally got your text message and I was like, Holy smokes. I did call in about two new year's resolutions and I remembered the chopsticks and I couldn't remember the first one. I was like, was it not to use PTO or was it to learn how to moonwalk? And then it came to me the other day and then I second guessed myself. But anyway, yeah, that's my next, that's my number two resolution. I'll refresh your memory.

You said that you got a wedding invite. Actually, you got a save the date magnet for your fridge. That's over, Kil. And you said, holy smokes, I have to learn how to moonwalk. Is what he said. And you said, I want to be the cool aunt who can do the moonwalk on the dance floor at the reception. Well, there you have it.

I got to be honest with you, Sally, if you can both moonwalk and use chopsticks, I mean, you're going to have a whole different life ahead of you. And that's a full 2025 right there. Yeah. New doors will start opening up. If you can laugh, use chopsticks and moonwalk in a day, that's a full 2025 right there. Yeah. New doors will start opening up. If you can laugh, use chopsticks and moonwalk in a day. That's a full day. That's what Jimmy V said. And I do have my step, my step number one on the moonwalk is I got the Michael Jackson thriller album vinyl

for my record player. All right. And so I got that. Have you listened to it yet? Oh heck yeah. Okay. Alright. I got a pretty sweet record collection going on right now and I listen to it now. What I also have is a hardwood floor in my kitchen. And that is my surface. I'm looking at the surface and I'm playing Michael Jackson on the record. And I'm just, what I'm doing, because you start, you just walk backwards. That's how you start. So you just try that out. And then you get out of your, then you get on socks and then, then you want backwards and socks and you should build on it. You just build on it. You just start walking backwards and before you know it, it's walked backwards question mark moon landing. Smiley face.

I like, I like how much mental prep work you do in this. Yeah. First it's just looking at the chopsticks in the paper. Then she's going to open it up and look at the chopsticks raw just like that. She puts the rec player off. She's just getting a feel for the surface that she's going to be moonwalking on. I like that. Looking at the surface. She's got her socks on. I don't think not rushing the process. I don't think anyone would accuse you of jumping in head first. I don't think. And then when you're looking at the surface, you're thinking, Oh my gosh, I should probably Swiffer sweep that before I put on a fresh pair of socks and walk backwards. Yeah. But the dust is going to help you slide better. So that's maybe, Oh, that's a good point. Good point there. I mean, if you, it's going

to be an immovable object meeting an unsolvable force in 2026 when your new year's resolution is learn how to dive head first into something into the water, it's going to be, he's got a dive head first. Hey, don't call their chickens before their hatch. Cause we don't have any here. We're not talking about 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 25 right here in the now. And yeah, that saved the day. And I put it on the beer fridge. I should have put it on the main fridge. Well, you want to remember it. You put it on the beer fridge. So you're using that way more. Um, one thing before we move on from the moonwalking, uh, you might want to rest

your Michael Jackson record for a sec. There's a Drake song where he actually explains how to do the moonwalk in the lyrics. You guys remember that? No. Jake, what song is that? No. When Drake tells you how to moonwalk in the song. Drake. Yeah. He's like right foot up, left foot slide, left foot up, tootsie slide. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. You didn't realize that he was just explaining how to do the moonwalk. No, I did not. Are you guys Jones and me? I'm not. I don't think that's how you use Jones. And so right foot left side. Okay. You're literally moonwalking the cupid shuffle because I tried that many a times at my own niece's wedding. The cupid

shuffle is not how they explain how to do the moonwalk. I got news for you. I got news for you. I just, uh, Charlie just moonwalked with my direction. Yup. Actually drinks direction, but I'm, I'm already beating you on your new year's resolution, Sally. It's time to get in the game. All right. We're three months into this year. Let's start shaking off the dust, cracking the chopsticks. I'm your motivator here. I love that. And I love your inspiration and I love you guys. Listen to you all the time.

Um, Charlie, I've met you in real life a few times. I've been to six of your shows miles. I listened to your podcast. I'm a patron right now. Just keep on doing what you're doing. You guys make people laugh and the world's not a fun place a lot of times, but if we can, you know, listen to you and you know, let me up and you make everyone laugh. So I don't know. I'm getting corny now, but that's all I have to say about that.

No, thank you. Thanks for that. It's way too many of my shows for you to come to. My God, I got to get you free tickets at some point. No, you don't, because one of them was an accident. Oh, yeah. Do we have any time? OK, we do. You can edit this or whatever. So last year I went to see you in Bowler, Wisconsin. Yeah, at the casino. Got tickets, I asked my husband to buy them for me

for a super early birthday present and he was like, okay. And so by the time I booked my tickets, the casino was out of rooms and this is such a long story but I'm gonna cut to the chase how I got. Okay. So we had to like book a, book a hotel like 40 minutes away and we weren't

going to drink and drive and the hotel we stayed at had like, it was like owned by Amish people, this, that, and the other. And I'm just not going to get into it too much, but so when, okay. I, I just go on and on about the story. It was like the most craziest night of all. But the reason I said part of the crazy part is I got to see you twice that night because I got tickets for the 10th, 30th show and we went to go get some merchandise before that show. No, I got tickets for the 630 show and anyway so we got to see the 630 show and

it was great and we had great seats. Got some merch blah blah blah. I'm walking out of the venue, into the casino, and this lady grabs me by the hand from behind, grabs me by the wrist, and she's like 60-something, older lady, and turns out her name is Brenda. And she's like, hi, me and my wife bought tickets for this show and for the 1030 show, but my life is too drunk to go to the 1030 show. So I put her in bed. Will you come to the 1030 show? I just grabbed me out of the blue, you know? And my husband is a few steps forward. And you know, he stops, he turns around,

he's easy talk to this nice older lady. Not hearing the conversation. So I'm like, I'm like, okay. And she gives me the tickets. And she's like, let me back here. And she's drunk. Sounds like it. Okay. I'm like, okay. So I go back to Sean and I'm like, you'll never guess what?

This really nice lesbian gave me a ticket to the 10th 30th show. He's like, are you Sidney? I'm like, no, here's a ticket. All right. So we go Campbell in the meanwhile of gambling before the 10th, 30 show. I see, are you sitting down? I fixed her Charlie standing up. I see miles sitting down right now.

I was standing up. I sat down right before you said that though. I see grandma Sue. You saw my grandma Sue. In the casino with her beautiful white hair and a little team of people around her. And I'm like, are you kidding? I'm trying to find my husband cause he wanted it in the casino, not knowing that I got a free ticket to,

and on the way to find my husband, I see grandma Sue and she has a little team of people around her and I wasn't sneaking, I wasn't anything, but I'm like, that is Grandma Sue. Your grandma's got a posse? She's got a whole team? My grandma was gambling up a storm that night. She won $1,800, I think. I think that was the night

after she lost all our money, but you found her there. And then what happened? I didn't say a word. I didn't say a word, but I saw the posse as, as we did. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, kind of like keeping my distance. I'm like, oh, she is, oh my gosh, I love her so much. I've seen her in so many pots, you know, and I was never going to say anything, but she found her slot machine and sat down and I walked behind and I was looking, but I wasn't looking and it wasn't creeping, but it was creeping, but you know, and I just, why I'm like, Oh my gosh, my night is a hundred percent fulfilled. You were stalking my grandma.

And, and so instead of going to the 10 30 show, you watched Picasso paint at the slot machine and she just put on a show and won $1,800 in front of you. No, I didn't watch her. I was on my way to find my husband to let him know I got a free ticket to the 10th 30 show. And I saw grandma Sue on the way. She didn't say hi or nothing. Okay. So it's not over yet. So I get to the 10th 30 show and Brenda is waiting there for me. It's right. Like we said, she's even drunker now. And we want to get to the show. And her

seats were better than mine. I mean, there's not a bad seat in the house. Her seats were better than mine at the 10th or the show. So I'm like talking to her and I'm, and she's, I'm trying to talk to her and stuff. And, you know, I'm just like, Oh my God, Charlie, so close. And all of this is so great. Um, and I looked over at one time and Brenda is tipped back. Her neck is tipped back and her mouth is a tape. And Brenda is snoring. And I'm like, Jesus Christ Brenda. I'm thinking to myself, I am your second date because your first wife is like too drunk to attend this show. And you're staying in the casino. Like the answer is fact.

Jesus Christ. So I put her to sleep. I put Brenda to sleep. She, no, it wasn't you. It must have been the Charlie Barron's brandy. Oh my God. That's hilarious. Okay. Well then I got to get Brenda back to Cindy. So what you firemen carried her through the casino or what? I just left her. You just left her? No, I stayed for the whole show. But of course it was going to, but then it was like, okay,

how am I going to get Brenda back to her wife? It was too drunk for this show. What's your husband? I got her back to her? Oh, go ahead. It could have been, it could have been a weekend at Bernie situation. You've got to put some sunglasses on her and put her at the door. Yeah. So I didn't know what her room number was and her name. And so I kind of like wake her up and she cut, I take her by the hand, you know, my, my wife date, get her back to room five or six for banging on the door. Cindy opens it up.

You guys are banging on the door. Wasn't me. I had to be responsible. I mean, Jesus Christ, she gave me a free ticket to the Charlie Barrett show. It's like, you know, pass it on kindness kind of a thing Get her back to the Hotel room that her wife is at and she answers the door now. She's drunk again I'm like, can you just you just take her? I just hear you go All right so then I Got back down to the casino, found my husband, and I didn't even tell you about

the ride. The ride from this awful hotel that we were at was like 40 minutes long. Hubby couldn't find an Uber in Bowler, Wisconsin to get us to the casino in the first place. It was like a 30, 40 minute ride. So he finally finds some people that are not Uber, but they do kind of taxi cab, but they weren't that night of Charlie's shows. And he finally, he finally finds one and they Uber us back, back and forth to the casino.

And their cab smelled like the devil's lettuce, like you wouldn't believe. Like they had gone to the farmer's market and beyond. So we hopped into Uber in Bowler, Wisconsin for like 40 bucks to get us to the casino in the first place to see Charlie. My husband's like, oh, I just don't, I don't, the devil's here. I guess I just don't, you know, I'm like, ah, it's okay. You know, we're at the farm. And I'm like, they're getting up there. Okay. They agree to pick us up on the way back. So after I bring Brenda to Cindy, I find my husband back in the casino. I'm like, okay, let's call that Uber people, whatever, to get back to the hotel. And he said, okay. And so we hop in the car, they showed up and lo and behold, they had been grocery shopping

again at the farmer's market. And we get back to the hotel and my husband is passed out on the window with his cheek like this and his mouth is like this. Once again, I was like, thank you for the safe ride. And I have to like help them across the page. It's like my job was done. Yeah. Sounds like it. Oh man. Well, I was a great night. Yeah. Sounds like it.

My gosh. Think your husband got a little contact high there on the way back. Well, thanks for coming to see the show twice. My God. Six times. Six times, but twice that night. One of them was in Sheboykin. Really?

Oh yeah. At the, uh, wild center, huh? Yep. That's the East wild center. And that one, not Br, huh? Yep. That's me. File center. And that one, not break. I did bring a Charlie Barron's version. She drove in from Beaver Graham to see your show with me and she, yep. That's my best friend.

I didn't know what they called them. I lost my Charlie Barron's virginity in was it 2022? Maybe when we first met, yeah. No, no, no. 2019. I didn't see a show for a couple of years. Oh, when you saw the show. Yeah. That's what a Charlie Barron's virgin is.

I thought you meant when we met, Miles did time on my show. Tell Miles he should do standup. I want to tell miles so bad that he wants to do, that he should do stand up. I would go see, I listened to the you betcha radio all the time. And you're so damn funny. You're so great at impromptu. Both of you choose. So if you feel comfortable with it, you know, keep making the world laugh. Yeah. I like to spend too much time at home to be a standup comedian. Yeah. Well, you

kind of have a different lifestyle and that's a good thing too. You know? Yeah. Yeah. It's a good thing to know. All right. I just, well, we better slap the knee. I want you guys to want to go on. I mean, I got time. I took PTO this afternoon, just to raise home and talk to you guys. So much for that resolution. I went, I went way bad on that. Oh no. I like, I like you calling and you say your new year's resolutions. And then we're like, what was that second year's resolutions? Like, Oh yeah, I remember it was something that you didn't say at all. You're just bullshitting us this whole time. Did you ever do effectively do a new year's resolution, Sally? Yes, actually I resoluted to put chapstick on more often.

Yep. Yep. And also, also, this is a really bad one, but this is one I absolutely stick to, is to not litter my car window. You and that that one came off back in frick 2012. So talk to that one. Congratulations. What were you doing in 2011? You were just launching garbage out the window. That was before recycling was cool. I was like, you know what? I'm going to do that. When New Year's presently New Year's present. Well, I'd like to all the resolutions are just like, it's either like something that normal people just do all the time or it's like, yeah, my new resolution for 2025 is just to not commit

any crimes. If I can just stay out of jail, it's going to be a good year. Or like, no, my new year's resolution for 2025 is to collect more magnets. I really need to do that. Just stuff doesn't stay on her fridge. You know, she tries to put stuff up there. She doesn't have enough magnets. Well, Sally, listen, this has been a lot of fun. Thank you for. Thank you for enlightening us.

Well, you're welcome. Really glad talking to you guys. Hey, Charlie. Yeah, not too bad. Not too big or anything, but I am done with my very first bottle of Charlie Barron's brandy. Oh, you want another bottle? Hubby brought it home for Valentine's day. My first bottle ever. It wasn't at the normal discount liquor store that I go to, but he found it at festival here in Sheboygan.

And he brought it home for Valentine's day with flowers. and I was like, I am putting this in the booth cabinet and I'm not going to touch it. You drink a bottle of Barron's brandy in five days. It is delicious. It is so delicious. And I have this teeny tiny glass that says, Oh, and so that's how I taste tested it. So we were in Valentine's day in the area guys. But I would love an autograph bottle of, of probably Barron's Brandy. Hey, you've been to six shows. I don't have George. I don't have George Clooney autographed tequila like my I mean what what was I supposed to do? That's all I had on me when I ran into Clooney was a tequila bottle And it's why yeah, I felt bad His friend was standing there not signing the bottle. So I had him sign it, too

Well, Sally we're to get your address. We're going to send you an autographed bottle of that brandy. All right. Awesome. I'll keep it forever. Thanks, guys. All right. Let it last more than five days this time. OK, I'll try. You know, next year's resolution. Make a break. A ball of brandy last six days. Thank you, Sally. We appreciate you. Yeah. You too. All right. Good watch for dear. I have so many things to say. Number one, you

gotta use, you gotta have her record your intro to you going on stage. I don't think I'd ever get on stage. No, no. I mean how Midwest her accent. Oh my God. PTO. It was just, it was, it was butter. It was perfect. Yeah. She's great. You know, Oh, Hey there folks, Charlie burns. I love how would she was talking about that casino. She said three times she was just going to give us the short version of that. She spent more. Anytime someone says I'll just do the short version. You know, it's not going to be the short version. So I buckled in. Yeah, we sure did. Wow. Well, miles, if we had more time, I would have definitely asked her about that Amish hotel and what was going on there, but we

should have, but there was so much other stuff to process that she was getting a horse and buggy ride to the casino. The way she was talking about it. Instead, she got a horse and buddy. Oh, marijuana. You are talking to Emily and Braylon. Emily and Braylon. Well, why don't you Billy up to the bar? What do you got in your mind today? Well, we are actually in a rehab and we were just taking suggestions for recreational activities. Okay, hold on. Back up the truck. Back up the ATV. Who is we? You said we are in rehab. Why are you in rehab?

Emily. What kind of rehab are we talking about? Emily and Braylon. Oh, yeah. We got a twofer here. A bull go. Buy one, get one. I thought that Braylon was the town she was in.

Okay. So we're talking to two gals in rehab. Did you meet in rehab or go there together on the same corridor? Yeah, we, we, we did end up meeting here. So they say that that's one of the steps to rehab. Charlie is finding a mate to help you along the way. That's true. You need a support system. It's good you guys found each other. So what ended up how do you guys land in rehab?

Let's bring up the past. OK, well, this is Emily speaking. I am in rehab for alcohol and me being Grayland when I am here in rehab for fentanyl. Okay. Right. Not messing around. So we're getting, we're getting, we're getting both ends of the spectrum here, Charlie. How's rehab going so far?

Give us the update. It's actually going really good. The first week is the hardest week, but now that we're a couple of weeks in, I mean, shit's actually starting to go smooth. So, okay. So it's after a few weeks, rehab is basically just like summer camp or what? Yeah. Something like that. Okay. Good. We're running, we're running out of activities. And I'm the recreational leader and I have to come up with activities to do for all 45 patients to enjoy.

Oh, okay. Have you started cigarettes yet? Oh, yes. I didn't smoke cigarettes before getting here. Without the habit, you pick up real quick. Oh, actually? I didn't know that. It's like a staple of AA.

Everyone drinks coffee and smokes cigarettes. That is one of the top recreational activities here. Well, let's see here. What can we put on top of the cigarettes? What can really increase that buzz? So running is out of the mix there. Where is the rehab? Where is the rehab facility? If they go running child, the people are going to think they're trying to escape. And then they're going to chase them down with a net. Oh, you guys got, also you guys are in one of those high security rehabs. It's a glorified jail. We prefer to call it like a deer farm. You know, yes, yes, if you will.

So do you have a lot of outdoor space you can kind of play with here or is it mostly indoor activities you're looking for? Yeah, there is quite a bit of outdoor space. We have a smoking sign and a non smoking side, but as you can imagine, nobody really goes to the non smoking side. Right. So I did not know that about rehab. I'm glad you called in.

I know I now have a talking point with someone who just got out of rehab at the bar, you know. Do you guys have bags set up there? Yes, we do have that, but nobody really plays it because one of the boards is broken. Okay. Well there's first activity. Woodshop. Yes. Yeah.

Woodshop. That's a good one. You guys could make bagboard sets. We're not allowed to have any thing that can possibly kill somebody. Okay. Okay. So no power tools or screwdrivers even, I guess, Charlie, imagine tensions run high. So what do you guys do? I suppose you guys don't have steak for dinner ever is really tough. Otherwise you just say maybe talk the other day. Okay. So just a lot of plastic silverware. Yeah, very much. So what's tough? You guys could, Ooh, Charlie, you might like this

one. What you guys could do improv night. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's great. Great idea. You guys can roll. You can role play me and Charlie. We'll give you an example here. Yeah. All right. So Charlie and I were walking down the road and this is the role play. Hey Charlie, you just got out of rehab, right? Yeah. Do you want some fentanyl? Oh no, miles. There we go. You pass the test, Charlie. See, it's that much fun. Only is it fun to do improv. You guys can do life lessons within it and really test the waters on your guys's skills that you're learning. Yeah. You can express yourself accountability. Yeah. Cause I know, cause I know one thing about people who are in rehabilitation is they love to talk about devices that got them

in rehabilitation, right? Yeah. That was our first question. We found that out. Yeah. That was sorry about that. Yes. That was rude in retrospect. No, no, no. I got to embrace it. Yeah. I suppose. Yeah. So we got improv. We got workshop. What else Charlie? Have you guys ever, can you do leather working? You know, uh, yeah. Can you learn how to work? Make some wallets or something for the four people that still have wallets. You guys should do a Etsy shop. Yeah. You guys can start your new business right now. And you got a great people.

People are a sucker for rehabilitation story, too. You just put that front on the website and just say, we're all recovering. And this is our way to cope. And you guys are going to sell wallets like crazy or handbags. You can call them rehab bags. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good selling line. Yeah. Coco Chanel should watch out. What if you guys become the next like coach or is coach the cheap one? Yeah. And I mean, we already, all of us here pretty much learned how to make bracelets of every kind of any style you can think of. So yeah, we could start with that and move

on to purses and wallets. Yeah. That's really cool. That's a shop. That could be good. Yeah. There is one problem with recreation on Sundays is we all fight over which game we're gonna watch. Oh the game Yeah, I'm well, I feel like I'm I mean, I'm not every have I'm at a bar second, but

About the game here also not to think about Charlie You should probably stop calling into podcast named bellied up to the bar. It could be a part of Your rehab could be frowned upon. Well they're in. I've watched you guys on I've watched you guys forever. Okay. So rehab isn't going to stop me. Okay I like that. Thank you. Thank you. Do they ever make you pull landscaping duty at rehab? We actually just cleaned out and pulled weeds in the volleyball court. Really? So is this a rehab that you pay to go to or you that you like are concerned state state warrant? Yeah. What's the funding system there?

Well, you pay for it, but insurance covers a lot of it. Pay for it. Insurance covers it. But they do they make you do the labor. How does that work? No, we just did it because we were bored. We have anything else to do. So we started pulling leaves. Oh, start, start a community garden. Oh, that could be good. Yeah. Oh, that's a really good idea. Yeah. and then you like fruits and vegetables

fruits vegetables hemp the well Hemp can work hemp is not there's no chemicals or sinigens. Yeah, I didn't say I didn't say marijuana I said hemp Well, you guys start growing hemp they can grow tobacco though for and then you guys can learn how to roll your own cigarettes. That is true. Yeah. Then we won't have to spend $10 for a pack of cigarettes every two days. Jesus. Every two days. You're worried about that. That's a half a pack of times. Sometimes it's a pack a day. So this is how many breaks you get throughout the day. Yeah. Are people smoking more acoustic cigarettes? Are they going on the vape train?

The vape train. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's the dress code like in rehab? No bellies, no butt cracks, no shoulders. No shoulders? Is this a Mormon rehab? What the hell is going on? I kind of feel like it. Yeah, I kind of feel like it. Oh, sorry. Are there rehab hookups? That's what I was saying. What's the dating scene

like in rehab? Personally, I'm actually on a behavioral contract because they don't encourage fraternization and I accidentally and unintentionally intentionally partook in back that someone talked to their lawyer, Charlie unintentionally slash intention. What happened? We, we were making out in the kitchen. You were on what do we have chores? We get chores. And so we were on dish duty. You guys happened. Let's just say they got down in dish dirty in the kitchen. Charles was it just making out or was there any hand stuff involved? How long how long were you guys on dish duty together before you started swapping Swapping the old console hockey yeah

What's his name? Not last name. His name is Miles. Oh, Miles. No way. Yeah, she's going with a fake name. She's going with a... What'd you like about him? It's not a fake name.

It's really his name. Oh, it's really... This is Emily. It's actually not a fake name. That's real life. That's good. So what attracted you to him? Was he just like a really good scrubber?

Like see them forearms? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. So what attracted you to him? Was he just like a really good scrubber? Like see them forearms of veins popping? He's getting down and dirty with those dishes.

Arm to arm. I imagine it's, I imagine it started, like the flirting started when he was spraying the dishes and then just turned the hose towards her and sprayed her a little bit. Yeah. Next thing you know, Get a little wet shoulder contest. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. Who made the first move?

Actually he did. What? How'd he do it? Um, really intense eye contact. And then one thing led to another miles is doing an improv act out of your first day and I'm starting to get turned on. So please miles miles. If you don't want this to end up the same way, we better hear the end of this story. So now that it's forbidden, do you want him even harder now? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? How that works when you're not allowed to do something, you want to do it even more. I mean, that's how you guys ended up there. Yeah, exactly. Did they catch you making out? Uh, somebody did. I don't know who. I think it was one of the kitchen staff, one of the

rats. Huh? So, so you're making, you're making out in the kitchen, you get ratted out, and now are you guys separated? Yeah, they transferred him. They were gonna transfer me too, but I begged for a behavioral contract. I was like, look, I didn't even get a warning. Wow. That's intense. Do you have any contact with him? There's no, I mean, this is a love,

write a country song about this. I met him in rehab rehab over by the dishes. They said we couldn't be calling us missus. Yeah. Something like that. Oh my God. Yeah. There's a song in the works. We'll sing it for you the next time we call in. Is this like the is this like a, a, a, the movie grease

situation where you guys are just hanging out for the summer or like you really liked this guy or is it just a summer fling rehab lovers having so far? I do really like him, but I, you can't play all of your eggs in one basket. You know, that's, oh, she's playing, she's playing the field outside the rehab facility. Okay. What's the other guy you got your eye on at rehab? I know that now that miles has gone, who's next up. Oh man. How did you know? Oh my gosh. His name is Wyatt. Wyatt? Damn, that was the name I was gonna pick right there. Wyatt, tell us about Wyatt.

What's he in for? No, he actually has the same drug of choice, and he's in for fentanyl. Oh, well you guys have a lot in common. Yeah, I know, right? It's a good starting conversation. You guys can be a good support system for each other. What do you like more about Wyatt than you do Miles? That he's more genuine.

I feel like Miles is kind of just, you know, like he didn't really he was just into the flirting and the acting of flirting. And Wyatt's actually genuine, has genuine conversations with me. Oh, and he acting of flirting. And Wyatt's actually genuine, has genuine conversations with me. Oh, and he calls me beautiful, so that's cool. Beautiful. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, well, it sounds like Miles is just in the rear view mirror now.

And it's all about Wyatt. So how are you flirting with Wyatt, knowing you can't, you know, do you think Wyatt? Now that you're on a behavioral contract? Yeah. Are you slipping them notes? Uh, well that's how it started. And then I got my phone back.

You get your phone back after a week. And so now we just text and then we still have the intent by contact, but it's just texting conversation. Okay. So you're just, you guys are just sending photos back and forth. Dude. Hey, rehab is crazy. I mean, no, it's like, it's like a retirement home in there. Just like Sudoku and everything.

Sudoku and cards. Does it really is a retirement home? Does the staff suspect that you and Wyatt are trading ugly bumpies over the text messaging? Not to my knowledge. I mean, I feel like I'm a lot more to treat now. So, Emily, right, Emily, you are you? You don't got any love interests in rehab? No. Emily, you don't got any love interests in rehab?

Oh no. That was a hesitant no. Is it Wyatt? You can tell us. No. All right, we'll leave it at that. Yeah, yeah. Emily's mad because she called. No, I just got out of a very long relationship

and it ended very messy. Oh yeah, yeah. It's, give it very messy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah It's some give it some time give it well, we got a we got to talk to Emily Emily you're the one that called in right about the recreational activities and here we are just talking about Charlie I still just have so many questions. Okay, keep going. I know it's just my head is spinning. Well, give us one miles. That's fine Yeah, is the staff nice to you there or are they kind of hard asses? Depends on the day.

What would make them get really mad at you besides making out in the dishwashing area? For me, it's always being late. Where are you going? Because I, well, I just have to walk from my room to the lecture hall, but for some odd reason I'm always late because I just, that's just who I am. And so I always make the excuse of, I'm sorry.

I hit a deer on the way here and they don't find that funny. I find it very funny, Emily. You know what? You're not late. You just have time blindness. Try that one next. You know, it's like I'm time blind. Yeah, it's a, it's a medical condition. I have time blindness. So you can't be mad at me for showing up late. What are they going to do? Exactly. Well, they can make me stay here longer. Oh, they can. Oh, so you got a that's the leverage. I was wondering what the leverage was. How long are you in for? Yeah.

I'm in here until the end of this month. OK, so we got a couple of weeks left. Yep. Is there, you know, is there people that have been there, you know, three, four, five times, you know, like they've done a few tours of rehab now? Are they kind of the, oh yeah, this is actually my second time. Okay. So is it like, is there respect in the rehab community of someone who's been there multiple times to where like they kind of have a Like I know the ropes. Yeah, they got a crew that they lead, you know, is it like that? Basically the people that have been here before just kind of Takes the lead if that makes sense

Yeah, I'm like Kind of like the team captain. Is that? Yeah. Rehab team captain. Put that on a resume actually. Yeah. That is perfect. Yeah.

Well, I think that, you know, we've got like the gardening. That could be the non-hemp gardening. And, you know, the woodworking. If we could have some tools that didn't involve life threatening conditions, that would be good. God, I'm trying to think what else. I think we did a good job, Charlie. Okay. I got some good, they can't do it all at once. That's right. With those and go from there. Yeah. How's that sound? We actually we actually had a fire drill the other day, and my counselors didn't think I was too funny.

But I shouted out, I was like, well, we're all outside. No gate. Why don't we all just run? Because they can't catch all of us. They didn't find that very funny. Yeah. Hey, that's smart. You don't have to be the fastest one running away. You just can't be the slowest. That's true.

Yeah, it's tough. And there was a there's a there's a Milo field right across the way. And I was just like everybody's head in there. Stay as low as you possibly can. Yes. Yes. Smart. Run and hide. Don't just run a long ways because you guys all got smokers lungs anyways. You ain't getting far before you're keeled over. Exactly. So you got to

think smarter. Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in today. Stay strong in there. You're almost done. And, you know, if you need a sponsor, this is my second time. This is my second time talking to you guys. And I don't think I made the actual video last time that was posted on Facebook. So hopefully this one makes the cut. I think it's good. What are we talking about the last time? Uh, the last time I was asking for relationship advice and we talked about Going, um, I said that i'm a football fan chief spin and um We talked about how? A first date would be a chief's game

Oh, yeah Yeah Yeah, I remember that did that not make the cut Jared Are you are you are you? No, I'm I do remember that You might not have made a clip, but I think it's at the it's on the it's on the podcast I'm not well. I didn't see it on Facebook

Well this this I think will make a video cut out of. So yeah, don't you worry about that. All right. All right. All right. Well, congratulations. You guys enjoy your beer for me. Yeah.

Yeah. We'll drink one for you. All right. Yeah. Order a cord light drink it for me. All right. You got it. Good work. You guys enjoy rehab and we'll talk to you soon. We'll see on the other side. Okay. All right. Good gals. Again, it's just like, that's a world that no one ever talks about, you

know? I like that they made rehab not such as a sensitive subject. No. You know, because you don't know what goes on in there. Oh, summer camp, hookups, the whole deal. I mean, there's like a TLC show in there. So guys, we've got Amanda, the wild rice bar and grill bartender here. Now, what I like about you is literally yesterday we were just discussing that a good small-town bar has got a sassy bartender. I think that's you here. Honestly, I'm probably the mild one. You are absolutely my sister, Brie and her best friend does are definitely worse, but by far,

like you will probably leave the offended and they're okay with that. Well, that's part of the small town bar experience. Who got who the job here? Who? Actually, so my sister's best friend started working here a little bit over a year ago, and then my sister did. And I come down to Morehead during the summer and my kids are out of school because they're really bored up by Canada. And so I picked up some hours over the summer.

And so I picked up some hours over the summer. And here we are. I love it. So you said that the polka is coming in here at three o'clock today. Three. Twelve minutes. The polka squad's going to get here. I'm just telling you, it's a party. I'm getting ranches ready. You never know. What's that is true. What's what does the polka crowd usually look like?

Exactly what you would think they average ages. 82. All right. So there's a bus from the nursing home getting dropped off. What do they like to drink? Things that I don't serve a lot of old fashions, I have to say no to that because I don't model things. Oh, you're not modeling at all. And I'm not modeling.

You got brandy, though. Yeah. Oh, well, you do. North Dakota old fashion is basically just brandy. I was going to say, I've seen at other establishments that they just do the branding, the ice and just throw the cherry and the orange in it. They don't really do much else. But I feel like that's not doing old fashioned justice. So he's the old fashioned guy.

If I can't do it justice, I really shouldn't put it in a cup. I honor the fact that you have that much dignity when it comes to if I'm not going to make it right, I'm not going to make it all. But you're also like, I'm still not going to make it at all. I don't even have the right equipment. So it would be it would be an injustice to the drink. That is true. Same thing with like food, though, like when you guys are ordering earlier, like I'm not going to.

Oh, you said that's not suck. Yeah. Get the fries. Get the ranch. Get out. Let you know anything you want. Tater tots. Not so good. Right. Not when you have those delicious fries to choose from. That's true. You know. Well, so we like to say in this podcast that the best Midwest therapist is your bartender. So I think on this one, we should ask her for some advice

instead of the other way around, Charlie. What do you think? Oh, that's pretty good. You looking for some advice on anything? Well, let's start with you actually. No, you go ahead. Oh my gosh. Okay.

All right. So let's see here. I gotta think of Okay. All right. So, uh, let's see here. Uh, I gotta think of mine. I'm all right. Well, so as you know, I'm getting older, right? As we all are starting to develop, waking up with just random body pain, you know, like a shoulder will just be sore or lower back pain. Yep. What's the best remedy on how to handle getting older and having everything start to hurt? Literally get up and power through it.

Like, don't be a what? Yes. Yep. Just take your hits and keep on going. March forward. Just keep going. Is that why you see a lot of older folk here at the bar is that the liquor kind of tends to heal the pain a little bit?

Definitely. There we go. Joint juice is what we call it. Now do you think you're feeling it more because you got that personal trainer? Well, I found when I'm not doing that, then that'll... Because I'm not stretching and stuff, but still some days you just wake up, you didn't do anything the day before and you just hurt everywhere. Yeah.

I just ignore it and move on. Okay. Literally just power right through that. You got stuff to do deep down and never bring it back up miles. A leave and I be prof and go a long way. Yeah. Sometimes both. Yeah. And a beer. I mean, a little beer. Yeah. That's at all. That'll ease the pain that helps the leave back to sometimes severe, good keg stand will help that out. You know, stand and just say it.

You guys do keg stands at this bar. We do horseshoes and beanbag tournaments and keg stands. I mean, literally, let's lawnmower race it out. Yeah. All right. Charlie's a pro. I don't think he should be able to play because he did do that professionally when he mowed the lawn. Oh, yeah. I feel like that's an advantage. It's an amateur league is what you're saying.

Absolutely. Amateur, smart. All right, my question is, let's say that there is a person you are interested in, three bar stools down, okay? And you're sitting here drinking by yourself there over there drinking with friends. Okay. Okay. What is the in to say, I like this one of the three.

Yeah. You know, cause you don't want to buy just one drink. Yeah. You gotta buy them all drinks. That's true. Buy them around. So if they're sitting over there chit chatting and you kind of like one of them, you buy them all drinks.

But now how do they know which one you have to go over there and just have the conversation or do you even have a conversation? Is it weird to just- No, this is where you use your own advice, guys. Trust your barter or therapist. And you say, hey, Amanda. So the one on the third is the one that I- You're fancy, yes.

I'm really, I'm kind of into and like to maybe get to know a little bit better. And I say, and you say, I'm going to buy, I want to buy them around, but, and I make direct eye contact with the one that you bought the round for and say, I say with my body language, the gentleman over there, but you, and then I do this and then I do this, ladies. Oh, wow. So use the bar. And then, of course, that's a big tip.

Can they communicate that? Well, and it really like it's fun for us to help each other out. Like literally, it's so much fun to be in a bar where, you know, over there, I call the nursery because that's where all my babies sit that are like people think are 12 when they come in. I'm like, I swear I've carted them and their parents come in here all the time. And then over here you have people that have so much money they don't know what to do with

and to see them interact without knowing who each other are or what they come from or any of that. It's amazing. And yeah, talk to you. Communicate with your bartender, man. And like literally they will lead you to the promised land. Well, let's say you did that. Let's say you, you said it to the one that I happen to be interested in deadlock eye contact. Hey, that fellow over there bought you guys all around, but you in. Deadlock eye contact, hey, that fellow over there bought you guys all around, but you're just still locked eye contact with the gal.

I would say bought you around with dead eye contact. You around. And then I would say ladies, and then span the rest of the group. So at that point, do you then just stay in your seat, give a wave, and do not go over there and say hi? Yeah, what's the guy do after that? Yes, you make direct eye contact.

She's going to make direct eye contact with you, period. It's going to happen 100%. And you do the, and she'll say thank you. She's either gonna do the giggle, smile. Oh my God. You're going to know that with more of her physical body language back, that if she's making eye contact more and more and more, there's your in there. OK. And then and then it's on you to walk over there and say hi. Or do you wait for

her to walk over and say something? I'd use your bartender for that one, too. Oh, what if we don't have a really wants to be involved? What if we don't have a bartender as helpful as you though? Well, I think most of them are like, Yeah, really, I do. And like when our friends go to the bathroom or something, like we're not above being like, so you interested? Ah, got you right. And then then one, there's no awkward situation between anybody. Yeah. And I can be like, hey, I should get a boyfriend to you.

And you're like, cool. But I found it. All right. Have a good night. OK, cool. All right. Let's try the gal in the other corner. All right. Right. Yeah. Well, then I'll just my make eye contact with a fifth friend down, you know. Yeah, that's how that works. OK, not for you. All right. What about you? Yeah. Yeah. You were a fifth friend down, you know? Yeah, that's how that works. OK, not for you. All right, what about you?

Yeah, yeah. You were his second choice. What about what are you feeling? You just wait till the friends go, you know, because they have to go to the bathroom in pairs. So pick a girl that's an odd number group, because you know then at least one of them is going to be singled out and probably weakest from the herd.

OK. Jeez, wow. But how do you, because you can can't you go into a bar. You have to develop that relationship with your bartender first. Right. Like, like if someone were to just as money talks, Charlie, you drop a 10 or 20 on the table and you say, hey, you mind help me out there and be like, absolutely. Well now that's another question.

Is that offensive right there to to is it offensive? It's a 20 dollar bill. No, it's not offensive. Like a dollar is a dollar. But I also like. I guess I treat my guests the same way that I would expect to be treated somewhere else. But now, not every bartender is as helpful as you. We've found we've been to a lot of bars. You've been exceptionally helpful.

I would say about 75% of bartenders are as helpful as you. You're going to have a 25% once in a while. Really? Yeah, that'll happen. See, and there, see, there's a lot of things for me, like money's not worth it. And like, just kind of like you guys do, like you kind of scope people out as you're talking to them. Like I do the same through their body language, the way they act, the way that they interact back with me and you know, kind of,

I'm not going to be like, Oh, here's 20 bucks. Like, can I buy your drink? But can I hold it for us? No, no, you can't. To why you draw something in that you're not going to deliver it yourself. I got this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got, well, you've got everyone's safety in mind, too. That's that's a that's a big everybody's got to get home safe. And I take people home all the time. Smart. So you are you are the iconic small town bartender.

This is there we go. I have a blast. You said you had to buy, sell and trade for us, right? Dude, it's free. No, buy, sell or nothing. Just come get it. OK, they come as a pair. OK, there is one female and one male. One is a miniature horse. He is about 32 inches tall.

OK, his name is Turbo and he does not run fast. And I like that. I have a miniature donkey who. Is smaller than that. And would you say that the best things come in small packages then is what you're saying? No, or I would I would not be keeping I wouldn't be getting rid of them for free. I know, but we want someone to come pick it up. So we make it. Oh, they're so together. They're wonderful. That's why you got to take them as a pair.

And I got them last year because hay shortages and I felt bad and people couldn't feed their own animals. So you got a mini horse and a mini donkey. Yep. That are absolutely a married couple in love that weren't together to start with, but now are. Okay. Well, if you're listening to this and you're in the market for a mini horse and a mini donkey,

because you got to take them both. That's right. Okay. I mean, their happiness matters. What do they need to sustain them? Are these are not house pets? No. The pasture of grass, I mean, they want you less than an acre. Less than an acre, less than an acre of miles. You got to ask easy about an acre at your place.

Yeah, I guess we do. You want to help me put up a fence then or what? I I'll watch a video of first time. Staying in a hot wire pasture just fine. OK, that's not bad. All right. That's pretty cheap. Right there. Yeah. Yeah. I don't imagine they can jump over a fence or anything. At this point in time, I would probably come do the fencing for you and do this.

Oh, wow. OK. It's like, yeah. So if you're in the area, come to the Wild Rice Bar and Grill, ask for Amanda. She's not here. They'll take a note or they'll call or whatever. Say I'm looking for a mini horse and a mini donkey. I got the perfect situation. She's got she's got you covered. It's not even a you know, it's just free. Yeah. I'll even deliver. Yeah.

And delivery service. As long as it's a good home. Yep. Oh, that's great. Oh, and you're need to just free. Yeah. I'll even deliver. Yeah. And delivery service as long as it's a good home. Yep. Oh, that's great. Oh, and you're going to vet the home a little bit. You're going to talk to the folks. Yeah. That's smart. Good on you.

Don't be a serial killer. One of those little pony. I will give them all of the tack that it came with the saddle and all of its fancy. All right. Writing things. Children do write. This is a sweet deal. Honestly, it Riding things. Children do ride. This is a sweet. Honestly, it is.

And you buy a farm. He looks like a little tiny Hildago paint horse. You bought a farm. Haven't closed yet. Oh, fortunately. Oops. You know, listen, if I do you close, can you take the I mean, are they self sustaining for the most part? Absolutely. So you can leave them out there a week and they're going to be fine.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. They have water, water and access to grass. Yeah, absolutely. I think that, yeah. Why don't you throw them in the bed of the truck on the way home and the hot wire fencing, you get a solar panel. Yeah. For it. And so you don't have to use your own electricity or worry about wiring, anything like that. Oh, it's perfect. And yeah, they're great. It's all right. They stay fat and happy and they like kids and.

Oh, yeah. Awesome. All right. So there you got it. Yeah. Looking for a mini horse, mini donkey. Man is your gal. Just give me your dress and I'll drop them off. There we go. Appreciate you letting us come in. Yeah. You bet. This is great. Thank you so much.

No, thank you guys. Watch out for deer. Watch out for mini horses. Watch out for mini horses and donkeys on your way home. That's true. And cause I mean, if you want to come by, I work Thursday and Friday. I could bring them with if anybody wants to check them out. Okay.

Just time to the tables, you know, all right, whatever. You've heard of a horse in a bar. Have you heard of a horse in a bar? I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar.

I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar. I've heard of a horse in a bar. I work Thursday and Friday. I could bring them with if anybody wants to check them out. OK, just time to the tables, you know, all right. Whatever. You've heard of a horse in a bar. Have you heard of a donkey? Never. It's about to happen. Yeah, there we go. I'm excited for these suckers to find a new home. Me too. Yeah. Miles's front yard.

Yep. We're going to go up after this and fence it off. My fiance would murder me or would she love it? She might fall in love. I don't think so. Yeah. Well, do you have a coyote program? Cause many donkeys actually keep cattle and other livestock safe. They're companion animals. There you go. All right. All right. Well, there we go. Thank you so much. Thank you again. Thank you guys. Hey, it's Willie. Hey, Willie. How you doing? Doing pretty good. Where are you calling him from? Calling him from Washington State. I

Drew it to Montana last week and oh geez About Coeur d'Alene so just outside of st. Regis Um, about quarter lane to just outside of St. Regis, endless construction on interstate 90. Yeah. In both directions. It's that time of year, isn't it? Charlie? It is road construction season.

My guy, tell me about the four seasons. The Midwest has, of course you've got fall. You got winter, you got spring and you got road construction season and sometimes it bleeds into those other seasons depending on the weather and it is a tough one. It's a tough go, but hey, those pot hills, those potholes are not going to fill themselves. All right. So, you know, you complain about one you get the other it's just how it goes Very very true. Yeah Those beautiful orange flowers are in full bloom my guy

So the question is what do you do when you're in that construction zone? I try and just go to the speed limit best I can and to score the speed limit best I can and it's a little bit anxiety inducing when you have the teeny little orange cones and you have semi trucks coming at you to run the other direction because they closed down the eastbound lanes both eastbound lanes of I-90 and Idaho so the eastbound traffic is going in the westbound lane and then the westbound traffic's going in the right lane. And this happened in in both directions in Idaho. And oh, jeez, it was. It's hard not to look at the scenery because Interstate 90 through Idaho and Montana, it's beautiful.

One of the most beautiful things you'll ever see. And you got those white knuckles going. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, you kind of. Yeah, you got nothing left to do, but pay attention to the road in those scenarios. And, you know, just hope that everybody else is also paying attention to the road because one mistake, one beer to the left or to the right. And no, no.

And then you and then you got some bigger issues. You got an insurance situation on your hands. But what is your question specifically with all of this traffic? My question is, what would I do to sort of de-stress while I'm going down the road and while I'm waiting, because that's the other thing. As soon as I got off of the highway and I went up through St. Regis, there was a,

at the very end of 135, when you turn left onto 200 to go towards Kalispell, there was a guy in the neon vest with the slow stop sign, and that thing was after stop sign pointed towards spot for 30 whole minutes. You gotta be kidding me. You got, do you have a deck of cards? I should have. My cousin was texting me like, Hey, uh, what's your ETA on? Getting here. I'm going to order pizza. I'm like, I'm not sure. This, uh, this construction guy's been, uh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I should have my cousin was texting me like, Hey, what's your ETA on getting here? I'm going to order pizza. I'm like, I'm not sure this, this construction guy's been, been at a sign point at a stop for about a half hour now. So honestly, you don't know what I'm going to get there. Yeah. You were about to order pizza to that spot, you know? Yeah. Oh, it would have been, would have been nice and toast. Be warm since my car doesn't have air conditioning Oh, geez. Oh, yeah, where the windows to keep you cool. Do those at least work?

Yeah, the windows are miss in this little next and adopt for my birthday that actually works really well Oh, did you get a nice neck fan? Mm-hmm. What what kind work very well and I need a green Montana Sun? Yeah, does that plug right into the cigarette lighter then? No, it's it's the rechargeable thing. Oh you use your USB C and then it lasts about five or six hours it was Where where can you go? What can a guy find a good neck fan these days? Yeah Probably find a good neck fan these days. Yeah. Probably Amazon or something like that. Sure. We'll have to look for one of those.

If you have, yeah, if you have an old Honda Civic like I do and it doesn't have air conditioning, that's your best choice probably. Well, we actually have a guy who has a Honda, blue Honda CR-V with 130,000 miles on it and the AC works about 75% of the time. Would you be in the market to buy three grand or OBL or best offer that interest you at all?

I just thought this said that we had a, we had an old time at the end for about 21 years. And then, you know, we used to live in around Cleveland, Ohio, and the rest just ate that thing up. Yeah. So the salt on the road, it'll do that. But eerie coming off the lake. Still 20, 21 years though. I mean, congratulations.

So 21 years and 211,000 miles we got out of that Odyssey. It was a workhorse. And how did it finally go that Odyssey? Well, I was driving to work one day. The check-ins and light came on and I was like, oh shoot. But then the traction control light came on. They're like, oh, no. So I got home.

I fucked a little scanner thing into it. And it said the code is an oxygen. So I went to my dad and he's like, oh, shoot. Not again. Because I guess what that meant is that somehow, some way, somewhere where I parked it when I was out in the public somewhere, rodents had found their way into the engine and the car was clean as a whistle, but somehow rodents had found their way into the engine Shoot the knock sensor wires

And my mechanic was like it's gonna be three thousand dollars to fix this Yeah, I know. No no Well, you wrote it for two hundred thousand God loving miles and you did good. You did good. Did you? It's tough. Like you guys didn't have a home and you lived out of the van or?

I don't know. No, we just, my folks bought that van when I was six months old and I'm now 22 and that's really the vehicle that's been around my entire life. And you've got some Cleveland is there Washington and you are 22 years old. How old did you think he was? You sound about 73. I had you no younger than 60 years old. And that's a compliment. You sound like an old soul, but I, you no younger than 60 years old and that's a compliment. You sound like an old soul, but I, you could knock me over with a feather right now that you are 22 years old. Yeah. Yeah. You got that. You got that Joe para thing going for you right now. It's

good. Yeah. My cousin actually who lives in Texas, my cousin-in-law, he was actually just up in Marquette, Michigan. And he told me I should watch that show on HBO Max, Joe Perrot talks with you. Yeah. And I've been watching a little bit of it. I like it. Yeah. Do you notice any similarities in your patterns of communication? Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. I even, you know, I was out visiting my family. I was, you know, hanging out with one of my first cousins and I got him into your, into your choose a videos. He loves them. Oh yeah. Um, I, so you had brought up, you know, a way to de-stress on the road, considering how we thought you were maybe 60 years old, I think a good way to de-stress on the road, considering how we thought you were maybe 60 years old, I think a good way to de-stress on the road is just listening to the Midwest survival guide on the audio book, Charlie's audio book. And thank you, Miles, for that plug. I do appreciate it. That should give you at least

nine hours, you know, depending on what speed you're listening to it at. Miles usually listens to it at 20 X. But I will say, I think I see a business opportunity here, Miles. OK, here's what I think. Willie, I want you to get your nearest dictionary. And I want you to just read it. The whole thing. And I want you to just read it the whole thing and I want you to record it and I think that that would be one of the most soothing things for anybody in traffic to listen to and I think it could cause could solve the

road rage problem in America today and I I think they would just sell like hotcakes. Do you have- You do have a very nice voice. You really do. Yeah. Could you just pull up any news article and just read it to us just for a little bit? Yeah, my computer right here.

Yeah. Oh man, yeah, that was about nine hours of driving. I did over the course of last Monday, but oh man, it was all worth it. Montana is one of the most beautiful states I've ever been to. Keep talking, Willie. Why is it so beautiful, man?

Oh, you have the mountains all around you I've ever been to keep talking. Really? Why is it so beautiful, man? Off. You have the mountains all around you, and as soon as you exit the low, low pass, you enter just into all these flatlands and then you see Flathead Lake and always just. The most beautiful thing you and describe Flathead Lake, Describe that for us. Flathead Lake, oh, it's really clean.

I got to swim in it on last Wednesday. And starts out, you're on the shore, you know, you have all your stuff laying in your baggie. You walk out to the lake and there's these really, you should be wearing like shower shoes or some sort of swim shoes because the rocks are really jagged and will kind of hurt your feet. But once that's all done, you get to the really nice, soft and squishy sand. And it's actually really shallow up to about, but for about quarter mile or so. And, uh, once you're done with that, you sort of start getting into the deeper part of the lake, but just all around you or the mountain,

you're about, if you had flathead Lake, you're about 45 minutes to an hour drive from, from glacier national park. And, oh man, there are so many opportunities in that whole area. I mean, I I did archery for the first time in about 10 years. And my my cousin said I did great. This is good to hear. But what's your cousin's name, Willie? Parker Parker.

And I tell you what, Willie, you just need to start a podcast and here's how it's going to de-stress you while you're in road construction and how you're going to de-stress other people in road construction. It's about the podcast is centered around living in the present moment, Charlie. And you're going to drive and you're just going to describe what you see, how you feel, just like what you did with us with the Flathead Lake. And I tell you what, I couldn't be more relaxed right now. Oh, me either. That was very pleasant. I don't know how I'm going to finish the next podcast we got to record.

I'm just ready to kick back and relax next to a fire. And Willie, play us out. Where are you right now? I am sitting at home with just the radio next to me and my computer. And I think the cat might be downstairs. Well, why don't you take a gander out the window and describe what you see? And this is a, all the listeners listening, just take this moment, just look around and live in the present moment. What do you see, Willie? Let's see.

Oh, that's the wrong side of the blinds. There we go. There are the maple trees and the Tula poplars are, are getting their summer bloom going in. Here's, there are the Cascade Mountains way off in the distance. There's a guy that almost ran a stop sign. Uh, but he, he fortunately stopped in time. There's some people, people out walking, uh, don't have a dog or anything, but

I'm sure it's a nice enough day that any dog or any cat would love to be outside. And it's a beautiful sunny day about 85 degrees. Forecast calls for more of that. And there's an elementary school with the US flag and the Washington state flag and a baseball field. And then you have the driveway. You have my old Honda Civic and a garage that's full of router tables and power tools that haven't been used in a long time.

I love it. Well, Willie, that was, that was poetic. You know, I think we may have found a new segment on this podcast. I think Willie free Willie. Yeah. Free your mind and listen to Willie. Willie talks. Yeah.

And we'll find it. We'll find it. Yeah. Well, Willie, we're going to we're going to save your number here. We might have to give you a call back and have this be a little recurring segment here on the Bellied Up podcast. Very nice. Yeah. Like I am. I am all without, you know, that that trip last week was just what I needed. It's gotten rid of all the anxiety and stress that I had when I left. That's awesome.

Oh, I'm really turning over a new leaf, I think. I love it. You're turning over our leaves. And I don't mean that as a weird innuendo, Willie. Thank you for servicing us here on the Bellied Up podcast. And Willie, you have yourself a good day, okay? And I wanna let you know that that Honda minivan still thinks about you. I still see it every day.

I sold it to my mechanic and they're gonna fix it up and use it as a loaner. Okay, smart. Service to others, I love it every day. I sold it to my mechanic and they're gonna fix it up and use it as a loaner. Okay, smart. Service to others. I love it, Willie. Well, you have yourself a good one, my guy. And watch out for construction workers on the road. Yeah, keep your eyes on the lines, my guy.

We'll see you next time. Thanks, watch for doughs and beer. Yes, you too,. Yes you too Willie you too Well guys thanks for tuning in to another episode of the bellied up podcast I felt somewhat we turn into an NPR episode. How about you? We did we really did honestly I feel really good. Willie's got it right. He does it's just Noticing the things because before you know it, they're gone. Be like Willie folks for your, for your mind, for your Willie. Hi, is this school bus driver?

Yes, it is. You got miles and Charlie from the bellied up podcasts. How are you? Oh, I'm living the dream. How about yourself? Same bellied up to the bar. We can't complain. So we dive into it, Charles. Let's dive into it. All right. Sounds like you fellas are having more fun than me today. Oh yeah. So guys, we have a school bus driver on the line from the Midwest and he wants to one talk about how exhausting it is to drive a bus in the Midwest. And number two is goofy living situation. So Mr. Bus driver, what is so exhausting about driving a school bus? You just sit in there driving man.

Well, I don't know about you boys, but I like to wave and take, say good morning and everything to everybody I see. Well, you know how many people you pass in a bus to begin with, and then you have 60 kids walking past you and you have to say good morning and have a good day to every one of them. And half of them won't even say it back. I don't, I don't think that these kids are learning the good Midwest values anymore. What the hell they're not even saying good morning back to you. Heck no. Are they on their phones? Just staring on their phones?

A little robot boys. Pretty much. Heck, I don't think they'd know if it crashed into a tree the way they look at their phones. Oh God, that's scary, man. So you got to like, I know it. You have to like ice your arm at the end of the day from waving at people all day long on the bus. I, I pretty much, pretty much do. Yeah. I have to like ice your arm at the end of the day from waving at people all day long on the bus. I pretty much, pretty much do, yeah. I have to go home and put ice on my shoulder from all the waves and everybody. It's an exhausting experience.

Look at you, look at him though. Holding it down, committed to saying hello when these little shits don't even look up from their fricking devices. You know what you need? You need a Midwest dad on there to smack the phone out of their hands and say, look them in the eyes. Not too long, but look them in the eyes.

I agree. That's great. That'd be great. What's a, yeah, go ahead. If you get, if you get a parent standing at the end of a driveway, man, you might take all day to get these kids home cause they just want to talk all the time. I mean, that's the downside of the Midwest. That's because their kids aren't talking to them. So they're all finally a normal human. I agree. I agree. Yeah. Where in the Midwest are you? Southeastern Indiana. Oh, yeah. Southeastern Indiana. All right.

So, yeah, you're just going down there and you're trying to wave at these kids. And then what about people who pass the bus? Are they waving at you too or no? Well, they're not waving at me, but I'm waving at every one of them. Look at you. Look at this guy. He's just a Midwest soldier just ready to go just to spread the Midwestern this to a bunch of people. He's like a missionary, you know? Yeah. I'm thinking, I'm thinking we must be having some Illinois, uh, some Illinois people around here or something. The way you get the manners back. I think phones make everyone fibs is what I think. I guarantee it. So my experience with bus drivers going up is they were always yelling at us to sit down

and stop doing this and stop doing that. Have you, are you, I'm going to pull this bus over type of guy or what's your approach when kids are misbehaving? Oh, I've had to pull over a time or two, but I've also learned that if you just talk to him real mean a couple of times, I think you're scary and they'll leave you alone. Well, that's, that's a, that's a good option there. You got good relationships with any of the kids? Oh yeah. Well, I tell you, I'm a, I'm a sub. So I'm on different routes about every different day.

Oh, wow. You're a, you're a sub bus driver. Now that's interesting. Yeah, cuz the substitute teacher It's tough to get respect from the kids on that. I wonder if the substitute bus driver. Maybe that's playing into this Yeah, it might be but I know something like I said You just sound like you're real mean when you get started then you usually don't have no problem Yeah, nice guy. You'd ever meet but you gotta you gotta make the kids think you're mean It's the nicest guy you'd ever meet, but you gotta make the kids think you're mean. Well, yeah, because you gotta lay the precedent first thing. You gotta make sure there's no horsing around.

What's the weirdest thing any of these kids have ever done on your school bus? I had a kid actually two days ago that we got to his house and he refused to get off the bus because he was mad that his sister got off before he did and he started crying. The weirdest thing I've ever seen. I've had kids refused to get off at school. I mean, we can all get behind that. Come on. Who wants to go to school? But man, you're already home kid. Gosh. Yeah. You were there. My guy now the next day is going to get made fun of for crying. I agree. I agree. How'd you get them off the bus? Well, I'll say the mother came up

there and she was not too happy with him. So I, I was a little, I was a little scared to make it her angry. I don't know what that kid's thinking. He was scared. You had to imagine how the kid was feeling. Oh, I know. I was the mom come up there and she was, you could tell she was mad about it. I was like, man, I, I don't want to go on the wrong side. Geez kid. I wonder what that kid did at school. Cause you know, the sister got off first. She already told her mom the thing that the kid did. That's probably why he was crying. There's probably a deeper story there. He's scared at the school called home before he made it there. That's wild, man. So, um, yeah, cause like, I don't think you can like physically remove

a kid from the bus. So it's not like a bar, you know, you can't bounce them out of there. Maybe that's what we need. Maybe we just need some school bus bouncers. Yeah. Checking IDs. Yes. Now you're thinking, um, you said in your voicemail, you got a goofy living situation. What's going on with that? Okay. So I'd say, let's say maybe three years ago, four years ago, maybe I was dating this girl and me and her, you know, got pretty serious. We moved in together and we were engaged. We were living on a farm that her parents owned and we actually ended up moving into the house that she grew up in It's a dairy farm and me and her dad started dairy farming together

Well, then, you know flash forward another year or so Well, she found her a new boyfriend and her dad found out and her dad told her to get out and told me to stay so to this day I still live on the farm she grew up in and I still I Still want cows with her dad. Hell, I talked to her dad morning. He talks to her. Oh My god, you are the father's son. He wish he always had He told me that once one time which I thought was weird because he has a son Wow, what a deal what a deal that's that, I mean, I, I got like the woman's ended in the divorce. I got to keep all the stuff. That's what I was, that's what I was

going to say. It's hard to pull off keeping the house, but you did it. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe, maybe I was smart. I got out of there before we filled out any paperwork. That's true. So do you ever see the girl anymore? I'll tell you what I, uh, being a nice guy, I know her and her new boyfriend, I guess just bought a house a while back and they're wanting to fix it up. And you know, me being a nice guy, I even offered to help him out. And her new boyfriend told me he'd rather freeze to death than have my help. So you know what? I guess that's their problem.

help. So you know what? I guess that's their problem. That's a real secure boyfriend is what that is. That's what I kind of figure. So do you like, you see her at like Thanksgiving and stuff or no? Oh yeah. It definitely makes, it definitely makes her angry every time you see her over to her parents' house and I'm there, but that's okay. He's got like a stocking on the mantle during Christmas time and shit. Oh, oh, I do. You have a stocking on the mat. I do. I do. How long you been in this family now? Uh, when me and her were together, I'm trying to think probably four years ago and I think we've been broke up now at least two years. So probably four years. So, so like you guys broke up, you guys stayed living in the house together and she found another boyfriend all while you still were living together.

No, she moved out. I'm still living in the house. Got it. Got it. Got it. Why? It's the house she grew up. It's the house she grew up in as a kid. Why did you guys break up? I guess she decided this new guy was better than me. Man, you get, yeah.

Fine by me. You dating someone else? No heck. Honestly, I kind of like living alone. I don't think you're living alone. Are you? You're living with her dad, right? No, they live. They live. They live at a different home, a different house. You know, I'm living in how she grew up and they they moved on to into a different house. We moved in there. Do you pay rent? No.

Dude, how the hell did this work? Are you that good with the cows? I, I honestly have no idea. I somehow just forced him to my way through life. I don't know. I just started running. I just started driving. First guy doesn't drive a school bus at some point. Doesn't he? I don't think he does. I mean, but no, he drops his kid and his kid gets on the school bus at the end of the spoiler alert. That's what it is. Yeah. I tell you what, if forest drove a school bus, that would have made a way more interesting movie. Wow. So you're working on the farm every day and you're doing the school bus when they

call you. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, that's a couple days a week. And actually I have another job working a maintenance job at a school too. Wow. Busy guy. This guy's doing everything. He doesn't have time to find another gal. No. Yeah. My dad, my dad once told me I was a whore. I'll do anything for money. What is your parents think of this situation you're in? Oh, they just shake their head. They're like, I don't know. I don't know what, what you're doing, but it seems to be working for you. So that's good. Wow. And there's no, there's nothing. The dad has not told you that you gotta find your own place at any point in time. No, no. They, uh, basically he makes it sound like he wants to take, he wants to retire

from farming in a couple of years and he's looking for somebody to take it over. Ah, so you're the investment. Are you going to be, you're going to be good taking care of the farm then? I guess I'm not, I'm not opposed. That's a pretty good deal. It's a great situation. He's going to leave you the farm, dude. That's going to piss your ex-girlfriend off so much when you get that whole farm. Yeah. Well, I'd say so, but Hey, that's not, that's not my business. No, I mean a little bit. You are living in her house, working with her dad. Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in, man. This is great. Yeah. Any advice out there for other bus drivers on how to, you know, not be so

exhausted at the end of the day. I would say, well, for one thing, if the kids get out of hand, you do need to resist the urge to flame on the brake pedal. But when they're standing up in the, in the walkway and the slam on the brakes and they go flying mysteriously a squirrel ran in front of me. I don't know what happened. say that we just need to keep trying to teach the good value to the younger children and to, you know, be nice to people and say good morning to everybody. Cause it's, it's getting ridiculous out there. I say it's just, it's gotta be the phones. I heard a story of a kid. I heard a story of a kid a while back that got on the wrong bus and he ended up at the wrong school in the morning. Like he was at a, there was a, there was a class of like kids that

went over to the local community college for some classes. And after class he walked out of, walked out of there and got on the wrong bus and they took him to the wrong goddamn school. It's like 45 minutes away. Damn phones. It's the phone. And our school is probably five minutes from there. I'm like, how does this kid get on there and not be like, wow, I've been on here more than a few minutes. You think that was probably wrong, but he ended up 45 minutes away at the wrong darn school. How old are the kids when they get phones these days? I, I mean, I don't know. I see kids getting on, you know, fourth, fifth grade sometimes. It's ridiculous. Good God.

Yeah. I feel like, yeah, that's just crazy. They can just access anything on those deals. Just a bunch of robots. We're getting dumber. Robots are getting smarter. That's the end of it right there. I agree. I tell you, uh, kids are so darn, uh, they don't pay attention to nothing. I know like the school that I drive for, they, the kids, you know, use computers to do for learning every day. You know, they have to bring a laptop with them, man. I bet every day there's at least one kid that forgets their computer. Like at home or on the bus. It's like, you have one thing you have to have for school today and you

can't keep track of one thing. So do you turn the bus around and go get it for him or no? No. I watch. Yeah. A lot of people do. I'm the kind of guy like, well, if you can't manage that, well, you'll just have to figure it out today. Like there was one thing it's not my fault. Yeah. But you have to borrow your neighbor's computer, you know, just like I used to have to borrow people's pencils. Cause I never had a pencil. Yeah. No. And I gotta give some sympathy to these kids. If, if I were on that bus, I'd forget my frigging thing every single day. Yeah. You know, yeah, Charlie does seem like the kind of guy that would forget stuff every day, but that's not because you'd have been on your phone. It'd be because you're like looking at the birds outside. I know birds are fricking awesome. That's

what these goals are. Never going to learn how cool birds are because they're too busy looking at their stupid ass tick tock shit. I'm just turning into an old, old man, you know, but at the same time, these phones are killing us. I agree. I'm the youngest old man you'd ever meet. How old are you? Twenty five. You got to be frigging kidding me, dude. You got to be frigging kidding me.

You sound like you've been through three divorces and two world wars. Yeah, I know. Everybody's like, if you're only as old as you feel. I'm 87. My God. Well, we appreciate calling in today, man. This is great. And keep doing the good work out there. Spreading the spreading the love, the good mornings and Midwest waves. Yeah. I'll have to work on that. Hell yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you for your service to the Midwest. You keep her moving out there.

Hey, you boys watch out for deer. All right. Thank you. Yeah, you watch out for deer and pretend you see one the next time one of those little shits is in the middle of the alley walking on their phone. Kick that up to the front. I've only almost hit a deer in a bus once. So that's okay.

That's a big win. That's a big win. I agree. I agree. Yeah. The kids wouldn't have known the difference. If there was five of them in front of us, as we say that a school bus drives right by us. That's symbolic. Really? Yeah.

I was too busy looking at my phone. You guys are too busy looking at my phone. Yeah. You guys are too busy looking at your phone. Yeah. Well I suppose. Hey you boys have a wonderful day. You too man. Have a good one. See you soon. Make sure you drink one for me because they frown upon that if you do that for you. Get on the bus. We will take care. All right. Have a good one. You know, what was the worst part about riding the bus was that I didn't ride the bus, but when we go on field trips and shit like that, when you get the seat that was over the wheel well. Oh, yeah. And then you have to sit there with your legs like you're sitting on a squatty potty. Yeah, that's always the worst one. Did I remember being on the bus? That's why I'm worried about these kids like they're not going to learn. Well, I remember kindergarten or first grade, one of the two, just exchanging swear words that I learned with my buddy.

You know, I mean, what a memory. It's core memory. That's when I learned shit and he taught me fuck. And I was and I feel like now kids are learning that off of the Internet. And you should learn that from your friends. I mean, we're a little bit part of the problem, Charlie. I know I'm definitely the problem. I mean, look at all the videos we do. This is on the Internet right now. Correct. I know.

Yep. That's how it goes, Miles. That's how it goes. Got to look at the look in the mirror before you look at everyone else. Like why are these kids all on their phone? Hey there folks. How you doing? You know, on their phone, we're on their phone. We're on their phone. Oh yeah. That's right. It's even more meta than that. All right, Charlie. We got a voicemail from Justin that Jared's going to play. All right. Let's hear what he has to say. Hey hey guys I was just wondering if you have the same problem as me getting a little bit too

much lit in your belly button take a shower lay in your belly button I've got to sing sometimes. And Justin employee. Justin. Uh, hold on. Yeah. Let me check. Oh, hang on. I got some right here. We both have both have lint in our belly.

But you want to take a look at that. That's so disgusting. You have a puma in your smile. Yeah, that's cause I got, I got one too. I got a hair in mine. Yeah. You just get to a certain age. You got enough hair on your, on your belly that it just, the lint goes in and it can't get out. Yeah. It's like a street sweeper, you know, it just shovels it right in there. It's like the, the dune bucket. Stick your hand in and you can't get it out. Has Anne ever commented on your belly button hair? Oh, she despises it.

If we show her that photo, she may puke. And so I make it a point that in the morning or usually in the evening, I'll take it out and I'll look at her and I'll just drop it on the bathroom floor. Does she not get it? Just look her dead in her eyes, you know? What's that about?

When do you get more lint in your belly button? I don't know. Does she not look her dead in her eyes? You know, what's what's that about to do? When do you get more lint in your belly button? I don't know You just soon as you get hair going on down there I feel like there's and then we got a hairy ass belly button. You got lint coming out of there all that Let's see it Does That is so funny that we both just pulled out of this exact same size. Ah, my voice is a little bigger. Does Ann ever get lint in her belly button?

No, she doesn't have any hair on her belly. It's really a hair thing, huh? It just traps it all in there. Wow. Isn't that one of the miracles of life? Hey, I mean, how does that actually work to rent the land? I just like trim like a thing around the boat. It's like a fire lane, you know, for the fire.

There's a little bike lane around the belly button to keep it from trapping Lynn. The link cut. No, we, that's what we should do. Charlie. This is Hey musky tank with me right now. Okay. We're going to start selling, uh, like, you know how you can buy strips of like wax stuff that you can put on your skin and rip it off. Yeah. We'll just sell them in little circles with a little bit of wax around it. You just put it on around your belly button. You rip it off and you can get a, it's a deal. Enter. It's a deal. Enter the, it's like, and people go to like our spa for it. You know, are they like, I'm going to get a Brazilian, you know, I'm going to get a Barron's. Yeah. It's the man wax. We'll call it the max, you know, and then just actually probably would work. That's a great idea. Are we sure it's the hair that traps it in there? That's

my guess. But Jake's probably Googling it right now. Yeah. How do you? Oh yeah. He just put his phone away. He was texting his girlfriend. What day? What? Yeah. How do you get it? Yeah. No belly button. Lint is also called navel fluff. It was primarily made up of stray fibers from your clothing that get caught on your stomach hair, which then naturally directs the fibers towards the belly button where they accumulate due to the shape of the navel, essentially acting like a trap.

It's a dune bucket. We gotta do a whole thing on it, man. We gotta do the belly, the BBT, the belly button trim, the BBW, like forget BBW. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Belly button trim the BBW like forget BBW Why is that funny miles I Don't know why that's funny. No, it's the Brazilian belly button wax Brazilian Bell B BW. Yeah Brazilian

BB BB BB BW. What'd you call it? The naval fluff. It's like the scientific term for it. That is fan fricking test. Justin, you're not alone. Justin 28. That is like one of the shortest voicemails we got to just straight to the point. That voice. That was like a Midwest Haiku. What he just said there was beautiful. It was like he was paying per character. He called us collector or something. Oh, okay. All right. Well, I'm glad that we just exposed our naval fluff to the entire Internet. Oh, God, that's great. I might lead with that in my special. Are you gonna? No. Come on. Lead with it. That's what that's what comedians always special. Are you gonna? No. Come on. Lead with it. That's what comedians always say.

If you got a new bit, feeling good about that. Yeah, lead with it. Cause usually it bombs. I don't think this would bomb. I think I'm gonna have every guy stand up and everyone raise their hand who has belly button lint. And it's so gross. The, uh, the maintenance staff just fucking hates you because they got so much

to clean up afterwards. So many dust bunnies. It's going to look like after they sweep a basketball court and that auditorium little thing, they walk behind and then we do a prize for the person with the biggest one. I just never feel my special. It's just that the entire time just releases the belly, Elyn crowd work special. God, what if, what if we collected all the wind and made a pillow? So gross. Is the. Well well that it Charlie. I think that's it. Ladies and gentlemen guys thanks for tuning in hanging out with us at the old town tavern here in Appleton Wisconsin. Yo TT. Yeah you know me. We'll see you guys soon. Okay. Tip your bartender. See you next one.