Bellied Up - Best of Bellied Up: Volume 4

Episode Date: January 1, 2026

Here's some of our best callers from the Bellied Up Podcast in 2025. Have a safe and happy New Year! New episode next week!https://prizepicks.onelink.me/ivHR/be...⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠use promo code: belliedup TIMESTAMPS8:42 Husband Doesn’t clean36:36 Blue Collar VS White Collar1:00:31 Ethan’s Update1:26:09 Nasa W/ George Kittle1:49:11 Banned From Family Reunion2:09:17 Uncle Got Catfished2:38:38 Timmy Tango3:00:27 Skylar3:27:04 Our Most Unforgettable call

Folks, welcome to the bellied up podcast. We are here at Bernsies in West Dallas, Wisconsin. And we met a bar patron here. Tommy. Hi, I'm Tom. Tom. Oh, you go by Tom. Well, Tommy's works too, but for the joke, it's got to be Tom.

What joke? The 51st date's joke. Oh, the guy with the 10 second memory. Everybody knows it. Well, that's you. That's you, man. You know, you know, hello. So what are you doing?

You're wearing a golf shirt. are you going golfing today? I golfed at 7 a.m. this morning. Oh, one of those days. It was 46 degrees when we teed off. What kind of gig you got that you're going golfing that early in the morning and spend all day at the board? Semi retired.

I'm waiting for a podcast where I can make some serious money, but it has a cup calling it. You're on your way. That's right. Got to start somewhere. As Tom slash Tommy was leaving the bar, he used me and Charlie's Catholic guilt against us to get on the podcast. He said, I'm leaving because you guys won't invite me on the podcast.

So here I am. Look how that works. Well, is this your first time on a podcast? 100% yes. Well, all right. So you want to do a podcast for your retirement gig? What would your podcast be about golf? I think it would be about how terrible I am at relationships.

Oh, yeah, and help guys that way. Okay. How many marriages? Yeah. Just watched. That was good. Since then, I got dumped this morning while I was golfing. You got dumped this morning.

Can you believe that? She texts me. We're done. Don't talk to me ever again. Actually. This is a true story? I can show you the text message. Yeah.

Let's see the text message. Oh, man. Let's get this confirmed. This is going to be truthful. Oh, you got a whole story line here. She's sending paragraphs. Oh, my God.

And she's at work to send me all this. For, oh, I see a fucking in there. That's not good. Fucking pathetic. Yes. Fucking bullshit. Not like I'm cheating.

Yeah. Whoa. Is this you or her? This is her texting. Oh, can I. Can I read it? Well, yeah, let's go back to the beginning. Oh, God.

This is awesome. Also, for those not seeing this, it is. Oh, here we go. First of all, she doesn't have an iPhone, huge red flag. Right. I know. I tell her that all the time. So we got green bubbles and gray bubbles.

It's about eight gray bubble paragraphs, and then he sends one line of green bubble. Don't talk to me anymore. There it is. Okay, okay. You broke up with me. You tried leaving several times. You did. And you is always.

capital you. You read you read her and I'll read him. You broke up with me. You tried leaving several times. You didn't tell me because you went to fucking neighbors. Had to fucking appease Hannah and fucking Bree. Fucking pathetic. Don't talk to me

anymore. Maybe even page. So I get why adamant. I get why you broke up with me fucking bullshit. Progress talks. What the fuck for? Just a fucking string. me along. Not like I'm cheating. Yeah, you kind of fucking are. Good for you. I'm just

kidding. I'm always battling something because your words are words. Yeah, you are my house, you are at my house majority of nights. Dot, dot. But how many nights in the week are you not? Are you out without me? Doesn't matter. You made your choice. You always do. I hear I sit. wait am hopeful for fucking what with a four not an F-O-R hurts like heel H-E-A-G-A-Postrophe

L-L but probably good you called it don't talk to you because I went there I hung out with Nick no one else shut the fuck up not the fucking point you are weak I'm over it

I don't have the fight anymore Tommy I shouldn't have to either fucking let down slowly move into your old ways and staying fucking relevant bullshit i have nothing more to say falls on deaf ears anyway i will never be able to fill your cup don't even know why i thought i ever stood a chance now you got your excuse to keep your tuesday antics up and roll into the rest of the week it's tuesday it is yeah and it's funny I was going to make this statement if you go down Greenfield. Hopefully you'll be able to overlook neighbors.

Nope. No can do. Leave West Dallas and cave week. Thanks, babe, for picking up the slack and paying more. Meanwhile, I have to do all this money. Meanwhile, I have all this money to do me and slap it in my girl's face. Meanwhile, I have all this money to do me and slap it in. I don't know what that means.

My girl's face. Real eyes, I'm kind of drunk like at 4-ish, but I can't take that thought and check myself. Back to secrets and withholding shit. Good God, dude. See, I told you this. We don't have enough time for this. Oh, my God.

It's still going. It's still going. Then we got a screenshot of some sort. Oh, my. I mean, this would have been a 30-minute intro for to read all that. Probably should wrap it up. But that's what my podcast would be about. all right welcome to the Tommy podcast for the next eight hours you will hear my texting

string I'll spin off of this one it'll be perfect I mean dude this is all from today this is this is your ex-girlfriend this is your ex-girlfriend I can't imagine what your ex-wife was like oh geez let me got to get those texts out next week save it for the podcast Tommy don't give us this all right gentlemen I hope that was entertaining yeah that was really entertaining all right my God Well, thanks for putting out with me. Yeah, can you send me all these screenshots and put them in a book? I'd like to read it.

You got it. Yeah. It'll help you go to sleep at night. Yeah. You're like, wow, at least my relationships aren't that bad. Yeah. Self action. How long were you dating her, Tommy?

Two weeks, three? Seven months. Okay. And was it like this every day? Yes. Did you cheat on her, Tommy? I did not. You were faithful.

I was. Well, you cheated on her by hanging out with your buddy. I don't think he wanted to shoot on my. You were hanging out with Nick. Yeah. Just Nick. Yeah. Where's Nick at?

He's not here today. Oh, so you weren't hanging out with Nick. No, that was last night. That was last night. Are you sure it wasn't Nick E instead of Nick? I'm not sure, but I don't like, you know, you just can never be too sure nowadays, can you? No, you can't? Where'd you meet her?

I met her at the bar. She doesn't want me to go to anymore. Oh. So it's kind of, you know. Thank God it wasn't Bernsies, you know. Goodness, yeah. Dodge the bullet there. Well, Tommy, the good news is you're back on the market.

That's right. tell the folks. Oh, yeah. What are you looking for in a woman? Somebody that doesn't break up me when I'm golfing. At least wait until after, right? After golf. They screwed up my whole front nine.

And that's hard to get back. All right. Thank you, Tommy. Good talking to you guys. Yeah, good talking to you too. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, you get on home to your wife now. Thank you.

All right, folks. That was Tommy, ladies and gentlemen. He had a rough day. But we're here for him, bellying up to the bar. We're here for you, too, and let's take your calls. That was unreal. I thought he was going to be.

I thought he was exaggerating. He was underselling it. Oh, my gosh. He undersold it. The rare undersell. Oh, man. Yeah. Half of those words were just letters.

Like you and why. It was like she was texting on a flip phone, you know? Yeah, that was tough. Tommy, though, calm, cool, collected. What are you talking about? I was hanging out with Nick. That's also like a worst. You get a long paragraph of a text message and you're like,

I don't want to answer all of the things that's in it. So I'll just answer the last one. And then that pisses them off anymore, you know? That loads the bow, baby. You're like, God, but I just don't have time to respond to everything you said. Yeah. Sorry. That's when you hit him with the, hey, sorry, I'm golfing.

I'll respond after. that also you know you can just say hey sorry i'm golfing you know all right should we take some you've never had that type of luck with dating you're you're doing great charlie all the gals have been really nice it's you're the one saying the problem yeah yeah i'm the one texting from a flip phone all right let's get to our callers guys right now prize picks will give you a 50 dollars in lineups when you play your first five the dollar lineup win or lose you'll get 50 bucks in lineups use promo code bellied up when you sign up today. Charlie, you already know that you can make player picks on prize picks. But now you can make team picks and culture picks all in one

prize picks out. What's a culture pick? Well, let me tell you here. It's super simple. With team picks, you can pick who you think will win the game, who will win the fight, whether a team will win by more or less than a certain number of points, total points scored, or even future winners and it goes and like you said the culture picks that we're going beyond sports all right yeah music everything from music to movie winners to tv show winners even things like video game release dates are the price of bitcoin you got to be kidding me yeah they got it all on price fix now so you can back your takes with real money and you can make your picks before or even during live events because i know charlie sometimes you're late to the party i'm like to the party

late to the game. You can still place prize picks even if the game's going on. Well, that's great for me. Player picks, team picks, culture picks, all one app. At Miles. Look at this.

Just took a player pick. I'll send it to Ann. All right. How are you? Well, I'm doing good. How are you, Becky? I'm great. I'm so excited to talk to you guys.

Where are you bellied up at? We're bellied up at Franks Lounge and Fargo, North Dakota. I'm here with Miles. Oh. Hi, Miles. How are you? Fabulous. I hear that you are trying to get your husband to clean more.

What's going on with that? He drives me insane. He always finds little ways to create these other projects that need to happen right now. I get it. I get it. You get fixed on something. It's got to happen. I mean, cannot wait, you know.

It's like a little, it's like when you're glibly. blue bottle overflows and it starts drying on the top of the glue bottle. You got to pick that off right away. Life cannot continue until it's clean. Well, you know what? I'm looking out the window at him right now and he's weeding between the garden beds. And he's putting down that fabric stuff. Yeah.

But he's just staring at it. It's like, yeah, I know you're thinking really hard, bud, but fucking get some work. And what do you think he should be doing right now or is he should just be working? Just moving faster. Well, what are you doing? Why don't you go out and help him? Well, that's, well, that was part of the message. So I just had surgery two weeks ago and I'm left handed and it was on my left arm. Oh.

Yeah. What happened? Well, it's a long story. Basically, it was actually in November. We were unloading a truck full of fresh-cut greens. Sure. And it was something like 8,000 pounds of cut green, but the bales aren't individually weighed.

It's weighed by the gross, you know, tonnage or whatever weight. And so the bail could have been 10 pounds. It could have been 50 pounds. And there was a strong guy in the back of the semi-thrown to me. And I was just throwing them everywhere. And four days went by, my whole entire body was sore. And on the fifth day, I couldn't lift up my coffee cup in the morning. oh no yeah so i thought i was a tough guy and i tried to just you know work through it physical

therapy and all that and finally the doctor's like well you know you've plateaued you're not getting better you need the surgery so so you tore something the tendons came off the bone oh dang wow well you know that's you are just a badass midwest gal over here you know working through the pain do the little ibuprofen, I'll stitch it up, you think, in your head, and then before you know it? You know, you and my dad would get along great. Oh, speaking of parents, it's my mom's birthday. Can I shout out my mom? Absolutely. Happy birthday, Helen Klein, 73.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to use. Happy birthday to use. Happy birthday, dear Helen Klein. Happy birthday. to use real good oh you guys are so sweet she's going to be so thrilled that's awesome all right update on the husband has he moved yet all right let's look he's pacing okay he's circling like a lion trapped in a cave so he was formulating a plan now he's mentally mapping the plan and yes oh he's putting something in the ground now okay but it's more like yeah still mental

mapping. So this is his M.O. He moves slow and pretends to do work even though he's not. Well, I mean, he gets shit done eventually, but it's like, like half his clothes are still in the front hall closet because he hasn't finished his closet. You know what I mean? Like, like, dude, that was like two years ago. This is torture for you because you cannot do anything. And since you can't be distracted by doing work yourself, you're forced to just, just see what he's not doing. Yeah. Yes. This is going to be real trouble for your marriage, the longer this goes on.

Well, we're not actually married, but might as well be. Well, I mean, that adds up. The guy takes forever on everything. Of course he hasn't proposed. Are he kidding me? He's still mapping out where to put the knee down. He's now, but is he at least in the circling phase? is he circling the jewelry store, at least now?

Oh, I get jewelry, just not that specific ring. Do you want a ring or are you guys mutual like, hey, we don't need to get married? I mean, I would like it. Every girl wants to get married and, well, really, I just want the honeymoon, I guess. But just take me on vacation. So is that what? Throw me a big party and take me on vacation. Is that what this is really about?

You're upset about his pace on the chore? but it's really really the big pop in the question you're looking for? No, definitely not. It's all about the shorts.

Nice. You know, he's got a keeper. I'm not sure what he's thinking here. Have you tried different tactics to get his ass in gear?

Well, that's why I calls you guys because my tactics don't work currently. What are you currently using? Sometimes I'll make fun of him. That's, kind of how our relationship is.

We got no problems with that. But like, you know, hey, Sally, why don't you get out there and finish that, you know, that kind of thing? Oh, yeah. That doesn't seem to work. And then what is he say in response? Well, he usually have a little quip right back at me, you know, but, uh, have you tried bribing with, oh, it's always, it's always the thing.

It's always just got to do something else. Oh, but I got to do this. I got to do that. His favorite thing is to cut the grass. Is he a line? guy. I mean, in his defense, the grass does keep growing, so you got to stay on top of it. Well, I get that. I get that. What's up with your, your decks, guys, the zero turn or whatever. I'm sure he'd love one of those. Zero turn mower. Zero turns.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what she said. Oh, no, Miles, Miles' battery broke on his zero turn. Currently are in a predicament with the zero turn. Got to get a new battery. Oh, really? Maybe you dangle a little zero turnover as the reward if he gets your honey-do list done here. I'm guessing those are pretty expensive. Yeah, Miles, you got a second one somewhere, right? You want to ship that thing? Well, I was going to mail me your zero turn now. Put a stamp on it.

Charlie is always pawning off all of my stuff and money. Yeah, that's my specialty. you could another tactic you could try is the Midwest dad approach so Charlie yeah I want you I'm going to be you okay I'm dragging my feet in the garden and I want you to be your dad okay okay I'm just gonna stand here hey what the hell are you doing over there huh we got work to do over here garden yeah yeah yeah okay you've been doing it for a long time quit your dilly down and I'm putting five minutes on the clock finish it all right I can't by the time I walk around this corner or if that's not finished.

See the back of this hand? Yeah, you want to see it up close? Have you tried beating them or giving them beer? You know, that usually helps. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. Give them beer. You want to hear something funny, Charlie?

I'm wearing the Fleet Farm dad hat right now. Are you? Nice. Meet you at the Fleet Farm. Hey, thank you. Thank you. Wow. You should try the dad approach right now.

You should go poke your head out the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And give him a little Midwest dad. Tell him to unhook the podcast. plow, you know, get, get his ass in gear. Do you guys want me to? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, hold on.

I'm walking. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, wait, hold on. I'll put you on speaker real quick. Yeah, yeah, I do that. You hear me, boy? Yep. Hi.

Adder! What's you doing there, but? You need to move that ass a little faster there. he told me to fuck off you know what to fuck off and do you hear that? You guys have a great relationship? We do. The thing you were missing is you didn't warn him about the backhanded.

That would have him about the backhanded. that would have maybe ripped him into shit. Because otherwise it's just an empty threat. Right, right. Yeah, you got to let them know that there's some. Well, no, I didn't offer him the beer, though. I forgot to offer him the beer. Yep, that's called the honey and the stick approach right there.

Or the carrot and the stick. Good cat, bad cop. Oh, yeah. With the dangling the carrot? Yeah, yeah. Carrot in the stick. That's a good one. Yeah.

In that analogy is the carrot. dangling from the stick? Yeah. Oh, okay. You dangle the stick over in front of the animal and then they chase the carrot that they can never get it. That's what the sticks for. I thought the stick was for beaten. Speak softly and carry a big carrot.

Yeah. That's a Woodrow Wilson quote. Well, so what other projects do we got hanging around? hang around the house you got a list do you have a list written down oh god i have a list i have a list read it off put away the laundry sweeping mop and vacuum water the plants and what was the other thing oh there was one more thing he didn't do any of it well make the bed some of that some of that you can do with one hand yeah yeah water the garden geez you are milking this arm you can't make the bed with one hand.

Oh, really? Early miles, you're going to put on a fitted sheet with one arm. That's fine. I can't even do that with two arms. Right? Hey, guys, guess what happened today? Did you guys see what happened?

New Pope. He's a fib. He's a fib. The Pope's a... I hope he's not a Bears fan. I hope so, too. otherwise we're in trouble I'm a fib

but the old man isn't which makes it even worse but he doesn't get the shit done where are you guys living Bensonville right outside oh here airport oh sure nice

yeah so if you guys ever need me to pick you up I got you I appreciate that I mean I don't know if you can with your arm you can't do any fucking thing else so can you drive a car even

geez I am a lot to drive okay I'm sorry if that's a good idea I still had to oh what was that what was that my

nothing nothing well you know like even when I had to still wear the sling um they told me I could drive I just wouldn't because I was just

I was going to fall out and face plant but like no I will drive now but just like only if I have to you know there's still yeah it's not

all the way bad So, what's your story? What are you saying you were throwing some bales around? What do you do for work and all that? She's obviously a lawyer, Miles. Nice. Obviously, he's a golfer. Oh, he used to.

He used to what? Miles would like that, right? Miles likes golf. I do like golf. Oh, I was trying to do Bigelbowski. quote oh that's my favorite movie yeah oh my god miles i have to ask you is your favorite show of all time the office uh yeah probably up yeah tv show wise yeah in my favorite what are you still your other faves because i've heard you quote off obviously the office i've heard you do friends

i caught a couple friends quotes yeah i thought one time i caught a letter kenny quote but i wasn't sure yeah i i also lately have been a righteous gemstones guy it's a good show That's a good one, too. I just, that's a good one. This, I haven't finished this season, but there are some episodes this season where I was dying, laughing. And that doesn't happen a lot in today's world. I feel like comedy shows are good comedy shows, tough to come by. Tough to find.

Comedy's my favorite genre. So what do you do for work? Oh, yeah. So, no, I work at a garden center. It's called Flat Hill Nursery. We sell everything from houseplants, trees, and, shrubs and I'm the perennial director there the perennial director yeah so all the pretty flowers that's my department that's a great specific for a for like a sketch at some point what I am the perennial

director I just I don't know why that that's so funny just such a serious title for flowers I don't know I know is a serious business miles my wife well yeah miles because if we don't have the bees, then we're all screwed. Thank you. Thank you. You got a bee house or is that on the list, too? No. The funny part about that is I'm terrified of bug.

People are always just like, how do you do this? And I just say, like, when they come by me, I just run the other direction. Like, I don't know. There's something. I'll go ahead. No, you're not a bug gal, but you're a flower gal. Yeah, you only get one with the other. I know.

that's the problem. See, I like the bees. They just don't have to get that close to me. Yeah. From afar. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. They can do their business. Well, good.

Well, yeah, we appreciate your service to all the yards out there around O'Hare Airport that have those beautiful flowers in there. Thank you for getting those out there and distributing those. Yeah, and I could sense when you went out there. to yell at your guy you were i i felt like you didn't want to hurt his feelings uh but now you're back in the house he's not listening before we let you go i'd like you to really let us know what you'd love to say to him while he's standing out there doing nothing just let just let it out nobody needs to see your ass crack you lazy son of a bitch

there it is the truth just sounds different well maybe you should get him a belt or something for father's day coming up is he a dad yes he is okay granddad granddad nice yeah there you go oh and then his grandmother is supposed to be here today and that's why i'm all pissed that everything's not cleaned up because i can't and i know you guys think i'm whining but no there's stuff i can't do and uh and his grandma's going to come well and I'm like okay I'll she's from Bangor Wisconsin Charlie

oh yeah yeah Bangor Bangor Bangor some would say So his grandma So she's got great great grandchildren Oh their family's huge

That is wow That is wild Well I guess you know Maybe there's not that much to do up there in Bangor I'm yeah I guess Why go to high school when you can have a baby by sophomore year, you know.

You can go to the school of hard knocks. There you go. Well, look, I'll tell you this. If you want stuff to get done, you got one good hand, go pull a switch and make it happen. You know what? That's so possible. Yeah.

Then she gets tendonitis in that elbow. Is that one? Switch elbow instead of tennis elbow? Wopper's elbow. It's a real thing. Uh-huh. well hey can i ask you guys a question yeah yeah is george kiddle really that nice oh he looks so nice he's a great dude we uh we had him on the podcast and you know we were figuring that he was

going to be like all right good thanks guys i got to get out of here he sat with us for like an hour afterwards just having some beers chewing the cha it was just nice and i don't it's hard for me to say this because he's such a you know thorn in the side of the packers but uh apparently he doesn't even think about us. So, you know, fuck him, right? I know. I know. That's what I want to say, but he's just too nice, too nice of a guy.

Are you happy about Matthew Golden, Charlie? Oh, yeah, I think that'll be nice. You know, we got, uh, he's like our Randy Moss. We'll see. I called that. I said, I said to my guy who's a bear skin, I said, I don't give a fuck what your team does, but I just want the Packers to draft a wide receiver in the first round.

Bing, bang. but when we got one. I was so thrilled. I said the same thing. And I was walking around the whole draft as a Packers owner like I had a job to do, you know? And yeah, Miles doesn't like it when we talk Packers because he. No, no, I don't care. It's a pyramid scheme, right, Miles? It really is. I just can't believe what? That you guys are all drinking the cheese, you know? Oh, really because we literally have our certificate hanging framed in our living room. You bought a, how much was your stock? $250.

You bought a $250 piece of paper that you'll never be able to sell. No, I did not. It also came with a folder, Miles. And you get to go to the meeting every year. Yeah, you get to go sweat your ass off at Lambo in the dead of summer. Swampy.

You get a swassy group of owners. We went to the home opener game last year, and it was so hot. that they literally ran out of water. They ran out of water bottles. They started giving away cups of ice from the cocktail cart. So people wouldn't gas out.

That's not a shot at Lambo, though. Lambo is beautiful. Yeah. We're out of water. Just have some beer at all. Right. Well, here's the ice from, without the whiskey.

Just take the ice. That's basically what is. I thought you were going to say. I thought you said they just started handing out beers like it was water. Oh, no, no, no. Because that's my Lambo experience. I got so drunk at Lambo because every corner I turned around there was someone shoving a beer in my face.

They got, normally at stadiums, it takes 20 minutes to get one beer. And it took 20 seconds for me to get a beer at Lambo. I was very impressed. Miles got so. They have their shit together. They do. Miles got so drunk at Lambo the next day he turned his whole life around. I wish I could say that's not true.

I wish I could say that's not true, but it is, it is. That's what he started his weight loss journey. No way. Yes. Yeah. Well, Miles, you know what they say. You're looking like a snack. Oh, okay.

All right. He hasn't been back to Lambo since. He'll never go again. No. They're not going to recognize me. I walk in. I'd be like, last time you were here, you were twice the man you are now.

Well, I'm half the man that I used to be. Yep. You know, I've never heard it stated like that, but yeah. It's accurate. It doesn't help, Charlie,

that you also made me participate in some extracurriculars in terms of a snack as well. I found, there was a Delta 8 thing that they were selling at this stadium view bar. And back then, I didn't know Delta 8 was just jet fuel and a gummy bear. And I gave Miles, I said, now be careful. Take half of this.

Miles popped the whole thing in his mouth. The next day, he was too sick to do bellied ups and between the alcohol and the booze. And we were dancing. We were cutting up a rug. and yeah that was years ago now it wasn't you didn't say take half of this and then i took the whole thing he hands it to me and as it's already down my throat he goes only take half i couldn't help it i was on delta eight okay so let me ask you boys when you're not drinking the bush light or the lineies or the

typical cow what's what's your liquor barrens old-fashioned brandy oh god i should have known that what about you what about you mouth um i like uh drinking like uh whiskey seven you know i like i used to be a whiskey diet guy and then uh i don't know i like something a little lighter now seven and seven yeah a nice summer drink windsor seven mm-hmm yeah yeah it's pretty good so well good for you. Well, we appreciate you calling in today. Well, my spouse. It's about that time. Now, be careful when you slap your knee. Use the right arm. Otherwise, you're going to be, you know, face planted. You're going to regress on that rehab. A little Midwest, goodbye. You want to hear something the doctor told me yesterday is kind of interesting. Yeah. Sure. So he said that it's easier

for left-handed people to become amidextrous when they go through something like this because right-handed people are dumber their left arm is typically 90% strong as their dominant hand and for left-handed people since there's so many right-headed things in the world

our arms are basically just as strong so it's easier for left-hand people to come in ambidextrous so it's not that impressive you beat me in that arm wrestle with your right arm miles I'm in a fact check. Thank you. Thank you. You're a lefty?

I am a lefty, yeah. And Charlie's just salty because I beat him in an arm wrestling competition with my right arm. He cheated. He cheated. Charlie said, ready, go. He got to say when we started. And he's saying that I cheated. You tickled my hand. He's never going to rematch you.

I'm going to do the rematch. I'm going to slip him at Delta 8 and get my rematch. Oh, man. Yeah, actually, that's probably Midwest Rehab is, all right, I'm going to need you to do 15 whelp knee slaps for me here. Yeah, that's what the old man always tells me. Yeah, you're fine. Rub some dirt on it.

Yeah. Well, thanks for calling in. Hope your arm gets better. And you got whipped that old. guy in the shape. All right. I'm going to go. I'm going to go pick a switch right now. Good for you. Good for you. No. Do it. Psychological warfare. Make him pick the switch. Oh, yeah.

I like that. All right. Have a good. Have a good one. Oh, man. What good gal. Great gal. You packer owners. I swear to God. What? we know what's up miles you just wish you had a team i will have to say i did think it was maybe more money than 250 bucks it's up to 300 now oh boy yeah just everything's getting inflated these days i think it was 250 it might have been 275 i got blind though whatever it was i was buying it can anyone buy stock at any time or they do different releases of stock

differently really you only have a certain window to get it i've never bought true story i've never bought a coat never purchased a coat does they say give you one no just because there's always been coats around i don't know what you're talking about i've never bought a big coat i've never bought one there's i've always used a coat or someone like since we i always like used a coat that was around or someone bought me it or then we started doing this thing and then people like would send those people send us coats sometimes like we had the Duluth deal for a little bit and they sent a bunch of coats so now I wear those what does this have to do what were you talking about I don't know some remind me of it am I missing you brought up coats oh no this is what

the connection was. I didn't complete the circle. Charlie. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I've never bought a colt, but I spent $300 on $250 on a Packer's owner thing. What are we talking about?

Is coat some slang in the stock world? No. I didn't know. No. I'm just proud of that. You know, never got a coat, but I've spent 300 bucks on a piece of paper.

Yeah. And people have been generous to me and giving me codes. Well, should we take another one? Let's do it. Brad I'm happy to talk to you guys cut out there for a second

thank God Brad we were we were afraid we lost you there I know is this better I don't know I got like one bar okay well don't move now I'm staying still okay well Brad I heard you wanted to call in and talk a little white collar

versus blue collar and all the things involved with that it's on your mind yeah what the fine was there I mean when you're down in blue collar you know and when you're up in white collar I guess you know but what happens when you're in the limbo there

when you're between a blue and a white collar you're going to Catholic school yeah born and race that was Catholic school a couple years Brad you sound a little bit robotic right now. Is there anywhere you can go with better service, Brad? Can you see a hill? I'll keep walking around until you can hear me. How about that? Well, right now we can

hear you. Yeah. Oh, that's perfect. I'm standing on top of a stump. Good. Okay. Stay there. Stump, it is. Um, all right. So what is to repeat that again? I mean, like, when you're a blue collar worker, I think you know you're a blue collar worker, right? But when you're a white collar worker, do you know that you're a white collar worker i mean like i feel like the the lines are pretty blurry there for uh for a certain income level you know yeah first question are you a white color worker or blue collar worker that's actually a great question because i feel like i just left a blue collar job and tomorrow i start a white collar job okay what's perfect time for you guys to call what's a blue collar what's the white collar in your opinion blue collar i was delivering

beer, like a local beard out of a van or a box truck, yeah, steel toes and stuff. And then white collar, I'm a quality engineer. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the, the engineer aspect kind of floats a little bit in the

blue color round, but I think it's definitely a white collar job, don't you think, Charles? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think. So wait, you're telling me, you're one of the guys that made it out. Yeah. I guess. Not every blue color job is like this, but when I was working concrete, it would always be like,

oh, so-and-so finally made it out, working a job that they don't hate every single day. That's literally the conversation I had with my coworkers once I left, like last Friday. Yeah, it was like, it was like Matt Damon on Goodwill. Yeah. It's in there smoking the cigarette in front of that color. your other blue collar workers are like dude i'm in 30 years i'm gonna be delivering the same goddamn beer but but if you're doing that i swear to god i'm gonna be pissed at you yeah yeah yeah i basically had that conversation with these guys it's great so you're like i will

i will then you're the you're the brainiac of the group i know i got to like go back to the shop in like six months and just like be like what up well make sure you bring like beer donuts or something. All right. Yeah. So, Charlie, what would you say? Genitized in them. Go ahead.

Oh, sorry. Oh, I was going to say, like, the background here, I feel like I've been on the fringe. I've been working in an engineering department, but I've been the guy who's using all the tools. You just got too many DUI. And, like, saws and, you know, blowing up power supplies and stuff like that.

That's kind of like where this topic came from. so that's what you're doing now that's kind of no that's what i've been doing for the past 10 years okay and then i you know i delivered beer for like a year right and just to pay the bills and now i'm like yeah yeah okay so charlie what would you say other than the color of the collar uh-huh what would you say is defining white collar versus blue color job like i feel like i feel like Like white color job, if you get to the, if you get to the office and you stand around a water cooler and talk about how you didn't do anything that weekend, I feel like you work a white collar job. Yeah. If you sit like this, I'll do Miller like. Blue collar job. Yeah. Yeah. If, you know,

I think if you're worried about HR, you probably work a white collar job. Yeah. If a printer is the bane of your existence, white collar job. Could go blue collar, though, because, you know, there's... You got to fix it. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, that's a shared one. You know, white color and blue collar, both hay printers.

In the Venn diagram. Yeah. We put that right there. It's the crossover. Um, if your boss is an asshole, you work both blue collar and white collar job. Yes. Yes. If you are, if you are only going to the Christmas party to win one of the door prizes, probably. That's tough. That's tough. Probably a middle wrong. Probably right in the middle there. I don't think. If you're only going to the Christmas party because they got free.

beer. Blue collar. If you're going to the Christmas party to get a promotion, white collar. I mean, there you go. Because you can say cheap white collar. Trying to win the door prices. Yeah, there's definitely cheap white collar. But there's also, there's also rich blue collar, you know, like the truth of it is these days blue collar jobs make more than white collar jobs in a lot of instances.

and so I feel like our here and where I'm in Oregon but you're you're a plumber or a construction worker like some people sitting that off easily. Yeah.

Yeah. We heard half of that, but yeah, we'll just agree. We'll be agreeable with it. Yeah. What are some other things, Sally? Blue collar job versus white collar job. I feel like

If you've ever Pissed in a Gatorade bottle Blue collar job Although You know that there are some Some You know White collar guys that are like

I got to wait for the stock to drop Or something you know But they're not pissing They're pissing in their Nalgin bottle Yeah They're camelback Yeah Yeah. If you bike to work, but...

What kind of bike are we talking? Because if it's a Huffy from like mid-2000s, you just got too many DUIs. Correct, yes. Or if it's motorized blue collar. Yeah, right. If you wear, sorry, if you wear a helmet biking to work, white collar. Yeah, yeah. If your helmet is your construction helmet,

probably also white collar if you stay in hotels white collar if you live out of an hotel blue collar hotel white collar motel blue collar there you go if you shower at the gym

well you could go just let me finish this one yeah white color then don't look at me and do the hand thing just yeah you looked like who you want me to finish your goddamn sentence I know, and I wanted you to say, white collar. White collar. If you shower at the gym for work, white collar.

If you shower at the truck stop before work, blue collar. If you shower in your boss's shower at work, could go either way. Go either way. If you shower in the sink, blue collar. Shop shower is what we call that, Charlie. Yeah, a little hobat is what I've heard it call. I had to take a whole bath on my route a couple of times too sweaty out there lifting kegs oh yeah that's a topic for now that's another topic now what's interesting go both ways one is

like if you're doing cocaine on a regular basis could be both mm-hmm yeah that's a shared that's a shared one yeah if you drink bush light blue collar if you drink mic ultra white collar yeah unless the beer's free yeah then they don't care yeah a free beer that swings both ways that's like that one fella on at the side of the bar who is white collar is there a follow the guy who swings both ways oh god god it's sorry he's usually one white collar sorry that joke was funnier than it got credit for um yeah if your lunch comes in a cooler blue collar if your lunch comes in an uber white collar white call yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no shoes too i feel like shoes are a big big indicator

oh yeah shoes if yeah if you wear if you wear leather shoes to work could be both could be both if you have steel in your leather shoes blue collar if you have polish on your leather shoes white collar if you have polish on your tennis shoes blue collar really that's my Saturday night shoes, man. Yeah, you know what's funny. Forget that. If you polish your shoes whenever there's an escalator, blue collar. You ever done that? Put polish on your shoes and gone up an escalator. A little brush on the side of the thing. It works, dude. It works. That's a blue collar move for sure. Yeah. It's, it's, but it legit works. You just got to know how to rotate and you want to like kind of depending on the thing you may you may

um like you kind of want to find one that goes up and down right next to each other because that's it's going to take a couple runs because if you don't have the right hip flexibility you got to make a quick turn on the stairs you know and yeah you got to get the upper part of it yeah yeah and so you want to get a nice one where there's two a bunch of times every time I'm on the airport is a good place you go

like if your way if your flight got delayed or whatever and you got a little shoe polish with you that's midwest cheap dude you won't just go to the shoe polish station instead just use the flat little escalator things yeah yeah because shoe polish you travel with shoe pauls um there was one time where i had um i had shoe polish and i just did it i remember but i don't know why i had shoe polish because I'm also, I was going to a wedding and my shoes, you know, you get some of those shoes that are like really old, but you're like, you know, those were your uncle's shoes. They're actually really nice if you just polish them

and you hear that enough, but you never do it. And everyone's like, you wore those. And so. So, Charlie, I love this about you. You don't have kitchen utensils in your apartment, but you have shoe polish. No, this was a long. long time ago.

And I do have, I do shoe powers. He's like, that's how Charlie's brain works. He's like, ah, I got to get some shoe pauls. I got to make these shoes look nice. But then you go over to his apartment,

he's like, yeah, you're probably just going to have to eat with your hands. I don't know where any of my forks are. I'll tell you this much. I have utensils now. Because if you hear the shoe polish story on its own, you're like,

wow, Charlie's really got his life together. He's even polishing his dress shoes. Yeah. Yeah, only time I did it. But I will also say the shoe polish came from like in the back hall closet, you know, where you have like a bunch of different, like your WD40 and old paint thing, something like that. I got the, that's where I got the shoe polish, I think.

I don't know that I purchased it directly for it because this was an out-the-door conversation. Like, I don't have shoe polish or some in the back wall. okay take it but probably not going to do it so shoe polish makes it through TSA no this was before TSA so like 2000 no no no it's just at the check in there's an up and a down I think it was Milwaukee airport oh you're saying before you so then you said to discard your shoe polish I thought you were saying like before TSA existed that's what I said no no no So like August of 2001 is when this was, right before TSA existed. Yeah.

Is Brad still on the line? God dang. Sorry, Brad. We loved you hanging. So what were we talking about, Brad? Do you think we accurately, accurately diagnose what's blue collar versus white color? I feel like, yeah. I mean, I've called in for a couple of things if you want to move on to another topic.

I love it when our callers are sick of what we're talking. They all roast us. Yeah, you start to wonder, Miles, if we can't even entertain the people that called in, how are we supposed to entertain the masses? Yeah, it's all right. It's not like that. I've been laughing this whole time.

Well, do you have anything you want byseller trade? What else do you want to talk about? What else do you want to talk about, Brad? I had one that was. was like how far away do you need to be from the sports bar for it to be like a themed like I was in a Packers themed bar out here in Oregon I felt like it was far enough away it didn't feel weird you know yeah I feel that obviously right yeah it's like obviously the bars in uh you know around any sports team are themed but like yeah how far away do you got

to be from the sports team for a sports theme bar to feel like a novelty or feel like a cool experience. Because if you go to a Packer themed bar in Green Bay, you're like, yeah, this is a dime a dozen here. I think you've got to be out of state. Out of state. I just out of state. Yeah. Yeah. Well, go ahead. Oh, I was going to say, I was that one in San Francisco visiting family. I lived in Boston for a while. and it was a Boston-themed sports bar.

And it felt like I was downtown Boston. Everyone was pissed off. And, you know, everything was dirty and old. So it was perfect. Yeah, I, I want, that's so much fun when you have it. It's almost like a consulate, you know, like you're at the Boston consulate in San Francisco. Yeah, the U.S. Embassy. The, yeah, yeah, the Red Sox Embassy in San Francisco.

They got flags outside, the whole deal. and you know when you're there, you can claim sanctuary. Yeah, if you get into a yelling match with the person selling hot dogs on the street, you just got to get to the Red Sox embassy. Yeah. They'll save you. Yep, yep, they'll protect you.

It's a sanctuary in the basement. And, yeah, like Boston calls, like San Francisco gets, gets, like, too, like, upset with the deal and they call everybody home from the embassy. They're like, it's no longer safe there. you know they're no longer letting allowing you to say wicked on the streets just turns it to a negotiation yeah yeah they they're they're prejudice against masholes in san francisco um yeah yeah a negotiation do you have a favorite packer bar that's out of state oh my gosh i know it's kind of putting you

on the spot you know yeah yeah i was just at one in portland oregon i was doing a show out there and there i think it's jerry's and you walk into that place and you're like i'm right back in milwaukee man um and it's actually uh i think there's bears and packer stuff because the wife is a bears fan the husband is a packer fan and that's yeah that's a good one uh charleston they've got these packerbackers and i forget the name of the bar in charleston but i know they got a good one down there um Oh, Central Florida. There are these packerbackers in all these different states. And sometimes I forget the bars, but I remember going there.

There's one in Los Angeles called the Tattletail Room. They got a cheesehead drilled to the side of it. And you know, you're home, you know. That's the nice thing. Does Fargo? It's like the bat signal, right? Pretty much. Yeah.

It's a pack symbol. You just see anything with a cheese, anything cheese is like a bat signal. for Wisconsinites throughout the country. Yeah. Yeah, we know. We can sniff it out. Fargo, I don't think, has that. It's mostly just like Viking stuff, hang on the walls.

It's not like a specific Viking bar. If Fargo could get a football team, what would they name it? Well, we have North Dakota as the Bucks. The Bismarck bucks. Same question. Cody Paul used to play for him. He was

He was known as the white Reggie Bush back on old YouTube in, in, uh, peewee football. Do you remember that? He played for the Bismarck bucks. Is that, Cody Paul? Is that like a, um, I don't know. I think there was like an arena team. Oh, yeah. Like that.

Milwaukee at the Mustangs. Yeah. Back then. Back in the day. Um, could be the chippers. You know, like the clippers. Yeah. I like that.

The wood chippers. That's a great name. That is a great name. Yeah. And the Fargo chippers. And you guys. That's great. You guys all wear the sports spectacles, you know, like from the 90s.

Yep. Just eye protection. It's part of the uniform. Yeah. You got a guy with one arm, you know. Yeah. That's a mascot. And every game, he's missing a different limb.

know yeah and then the pregame ritual is we take a piece of wood with the other team's logo painted on it we put it through the wood chip oh yeah sick you know at homecoming games they'll paint the like homecoming week they'll paint the other teams like thing on their car and then they'll take a sledgehammer and smash it yeah that's our version of that yeah they just do it center court yeah and then all the regs they wipe it up with are just like red you know Yeah, blood. Yeah. It would be great.

I mean, we could have bought a sports franchise with how much the fucking diversion costs in Fargo, but that's a whole other thing. Yeah, what's up with that diversion? If your thing gets you worked up as AI, mine's the Fargo diversion. You guys have a power center going up in Fargo. Everyone is telling me, too.

We're not diving into that, Charlie. We got Brad on the line. Oh, shit, Brad's still on the line? Brad, are you still standing on the stump? yes i am still damn it brad we loved you up there dude charlie i want to we're going to roleplay brad during this whole call you're right yeah oh god

i'm gonna let you do this can you hear me right. So I'm yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the dumbest bit. We've done the long time. That was a good bit. I was that. I wanted to see where you took it. I, you were supposed to help me out a little bit like we were having a conversation, but it's all right. That went about as good as our, uh, a guy. Try it again. Try it again. Try it again. Try it again. Try it again. yeah sorry about that that went about as good as uh a normal guy and a robot walk into a bar bit we did that's about how good that went charles i wasn't i was waiting i was waiting also i was waiting i was waiting for you do something also i mean the whole bit was that he was just

standing on a stump the whole call it's and i understand a visual gag is not good great for a podcast. You're bit bombed and you're blaming on me. No, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. It was a good bit, I thought. How's your sciatica? Brad, he's stretching his side ass right now, pushing the sciatica or the leg into the sciad. Yeah, another blue collar indicator, you know, limbering up. Yeah. Yeah. Stretching in random places. Yeah, you got to worry about throwing out your back. Blue collar. You got to work about carpal tunnel, tunnel and depression? Well, I guess depression.

Do you treat your depression with antidepressants? Or beer. That's the difference between white collar or blue collar. Well, this was a wonderful chit-chat with you, Brad. Is there anything else on your mind? That's pretty much it. You know, I, I'm really happy that you guys took my call. I've been listening to your podcast since the get-go here.

Nice, dude. Yeah. We're thrilled to be talking to you. All right. All right. You're free to go from the stump now, Brad. Awesome. I can dismount and you're going to, me.

There's, that's a good bit. I got what he was doing right away. Oh, fuck off. yellow. Ethan, how you doing, dude? I'm doing all right. How about you guys? We're doing great. We're bellied up to the bar. Glad to have you back on, man. We got another bellied update on our hands here. Well, glad to be back. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. How, you know,

everybody, everybody tunes in. They listen to everybody else. Yeah. How are you guys doing? How's your guys this week? How's your guys's life been? Any updates in your guys's life? Damn, Ethan, man. Thank you for asking. It just means a lot, man. Yeah. It means a lot.

Miles, what's going on with you? Yeah. It's been good mostly. You know, I, yeah. I kind of spent the last couple hours just getting bullied by Charlie a little bit, which doesn't always feel great. But, you know, it's part of the gig. You know, it's got to put on a brave face.

Ethan, do you like N-Sync? In-sink. You know, born early 2000s, oh, one. I heard my sisters listen to. Wasn't that hit. Wasn't that hit. You've got a got a got a girlfriend, dude. Later, later I go down, later going down the line, you know, I love them white boy tunes.

Yeah, new kids on the block. Exactly. Yeah. Miles' first concert was N-Sync. He was six years old. He went with his brother. His dad took him reluctantly. So, but no judgment.

go you know first concert for every time you know my first concert was mushroom head and i got in for free how'd you get in for free even uh so there was this uh barbecue joint that i used to work at for some time uh the one of the the owner apparently was like making his way down to florida and saw a truck big down on the side of the road turned out to be uh like a mushroom head concert truck and they helped them out and gave him like free food and such uh and then for a for a favor i guess a return favorite. They played a free concert at his fucking, sorry, part of my language, I had his at his barbecue joint. Me,

we'll only live in about a mile and a half away from the barbecue joint, maybe stay up all night because I kept on hearing nothing but bass. Oh, you could hear it a mile and a half away, huh? It was pretty loud. It was pretty loud. But you got him for free. How old were you?

Oh, he was at his house is what he said. I was still a walking little sperm, but I'd say about maybe 16. Oh, I didn't, I didn't connect. the dad said that that was at your house the place was connected to your house okay well i mean it's it's like a whole i mean i used to live in like a small small town so like a mile and a half away was like a walmart and then right next to the walmart was like a barbecue joint it's crazy and it's crazy in kansas i think i'm putting the piece puzzle together now i'm a little now miles is bullying me see it's a given hey you know what it's all right you know my miles he's trimmed down a lot of weight from the from when a when you guys first started and that you know it takes a lot of that takes a lot of practice it takes a lot of work to trim down that weight yeah exactly how are you doing etym what's going on man hey you know what i'm just booze cruising in life right now man one shot of whiskey at a time you know are you're boozing it not too hard though are you not too hard no no no not too hard

hitting into that little little pin you know the little pinjamin that's what i'd be hitting i mean i from i went from a plater working with like acids like uh nitric acid getting nitric acid in my eye to sitting at home and basically being an Indian scam call it all day but without the scanning so that's your new that's your current gig is you are a tell marker not i mean to a degree not really what i used what i do is uh i help like major theaters uh in the u s so people would call in and be like oh my projection it's not it's not it's not it's not working and i can't play fantastic four and then i tell them to turn it off and turn it back on again like it's a router and it magically works so you're an

IT guy yeah yeah to a degree I am Chinese after all yeah hey it's just you can see you can use a stereotype all you want but when you got proof right here I mean what do we do you know when China invades man I'm going to be on their watch list but how's the relationship I don't remember you guys are just you're still dating you're not engaged or you got married since the last time is you're just still day hell no three three years minimum for a marriage um i don't i don't know i me personally you know i really i really like the girl when i first got got in touch with her uh and then uh you know year to go by man this is how marriage must feel uh year to go by you know i still like when we have our we have our ups and downs and i'm like you know what i think that we're

just going on like two separate life paths at this point in time, you know? Oh, no. No. No. I hate to be that bear. You know, I hate to be that person to be that person to be that person as much as they care for me. You know, they're awesome. They helped me when I found my dad croaked on the bed. So, I mean, they've been through a lot with me. But I'm like, two, do separate different paths, you know, just convening at different places. All right. We still live together. But I mean, you know. Are you breaking

up with your girlfriend over this podcast right now? No, no, no. We've had this talk. We've had this talk several times before, but it's, I don't know, it's just, it's just iffy, ify. I don't know. I'm in, fuck, how old am I again? 23, and I'm, I'm so young, you know, I got to get out, I got to do

something. I'm always cooped up in my house all the time. Yeah, okay, well, um, you know, you say you're going to do different paths. What are the two paths you guys are taking? Which road are you going down and which road is she going down? Um, I mean, I would discuss as much as I can, but I mean, that's kind of like her Diliwat, that's her business nots.

But I would talk about it if I could, but I can't. Sorry, fellas, no, no drama, no tea. But I'll just say, you know, politically, she's very left-leaning. I'm not that very left-leaning. I see both sides of the party. But, you know, we just get in a lot of arguments that, hey, you know, I don't necessarily believe this. I believe this. I don't necessarily believe that.

I believe that. And, you know, I respect their opinion. They respect my opinion at the end of the day. But when it keeps affecting the relationship to this degree. Politics. Politics, man. They will, you know, it used to be that one could be a lefty, the other could be a righty, and you could still boink.

And it's fine, you know, a lot of families. I get that 100%. And I agree with that wholeheartedly. But, I mean, nuclear family and all that, you know. yeah for sure man for sure absolutely so that that's kind of uh grinding your gears it's the it's a politics thing that's kind of sending you guys on two different paths huh then just like constantly crying and it's just i mean i get it i get it right okay cry that's awesome what are your emotions do your thing you know i'll comfort you i'll console you i'll do all this good jazz

but if you're just going to crash out over the most like simplistic things and like slam the door like a seven-year-old. Fuck, dude, that nothing gets me grind. Nothing grinds my gears more than that, dude. Just like a simple slam door. Like, hell no. That's the equivalent to knocking up five temperatures on the fucking thermostat.

It's terrible. What are some of the benign things that the door is being slammed over? You think? Because sometimes those benign things, it's kind of a proxy war for something bigger, you know? No, I get that. It's like, uh, okay, well, all right, Granted, you know, my fault, my fault, granted 100%.

Really, really stoned, two o'clock in the morning. I got a Mexican fat burrito, something that I lay in my toilet myself. I heat that thing up in the air fryer. I go back down, sit down on my computer. I go ahead and just like iPad kid out and just watch Instagram Reels, dune scroll for a good hour or so. Completely forget my burritos in the air fry. I go back and her tacos sitting out.

granted she doesn't like having leftover food that's been out for more than an hour me personally if I got a chick-fil-a sandwich down on the floor that I bought yesterday I'm gonna eat that I'm gonna eat that cocksucker I'm gonna slap some chick-fil-a sauce all over that I'm gonna eat that cocksucker cold or not botulism here I come but I mean you know you left her you left her tacos out on the counter is what happened

I mean listen granted my fault I understand that but like is that really warranted a door slam is it how good were the tacos are they pretty good i mean a nice a nice mexican lady made them out of her food truck while her seven-year-old would kept on like tugging on her shirt so i think it's pretty good as the equivalent of like going into a chinese restaurant seeing the yellow panels and a kid doing his homework in the corner yeah you know you're getting a good meal if you see that i guess there you go if they don't have a thick thick chinese accent you know it's whitewashed food it's no good.

Ethan. Ethan, okay, okay. All right. Let me dial it back now. So you left her tacos out on the kitchen. Okay. Could the deeper issue be that you've been spending more time with Benjamin than you have them with your girlfriend?

Maybe. I mean, I think it definitely lays a part. I think it's definitely a key player. But I don't think it's the root. cause. What's the root cause? Me just not giving a shit. I mean, sometimes I'm sometimes I'm like, okay, great. I understand you're sad. I'll help and console you. That's my thing. That's why I'm here as a partner. That's my job. I got to help you. You know, we help each other out. Oh, it's like constantly like day in, day out over small, small stuff. Like, oh, my alarm's going

off. Like, oh, I'm just driving down the road and I see a, I see a dead coon on the street. I'm going to start crying my eyes out. I'm like, hey, you know, life is life. Life is a bitch. And I just keep going. It's just, you know, it just gets so draining at some points where I'm just like, screw it, man. And I'm just going to go back to my computer and just play game.

Well, I mean, I feel like a shitty person for doing that. But, I mean, once you start doing it just so much and so much is so much, you know, it just gets like, you know. Maybe it's, I mean, do you think you could. can do it for another three years, Ethan? Hell no. Oh, oh, all. All right.

And it might be premature for this question, but what, you know, if you're back on the dating market, what are you looking for in a gal then? Aha. The red flags turn green. I need another bitch to ruin my life. Yeah, I mean, you did. make you know is the bed you made you're you you're dating their walking red flag you know i got i got to lay on it i got to lay on it you know a double-edged sword as they say so what you're

saying is you're maybe not going to get back in the dating world you're just going to spend another couple two three four five six years with this gal uh until maybe you have a couple two three four five six kids and then you just spend a few couple two three three four decades well here's the thing here's the thing about kids right I'm 23 do I want to have kids hell no maybe when I'm like 25 27 sure you know

or if I'm really drunk right night you know shit happens but I mean no kids for me she doesn't want kids she's got a real narrow body real slim body and she doesn't have really wide burdening hips so she would always talk about

if I get pregnant I'm going to fucking die when I push this child out I go that's great to here. That's awesome. I want children. I want children in the future. I want some good looking Asian babies, dude. And then it's, and then it's like, I want children. I'll adopt. And I go, hey. What was that? Okay. All right. Well, so, you know, if you do get back to the dating scene again, you're just looking for different red flags. Like, you tried these red flags out. It turns out that's not your cup of tea are you going to try different red flag oh no it's definitely my cup of tea i just don't i think the person itself i mean just later down the years they're they're willing they're developing into

a different person as they are we're both going down two different paths right now uh i think i'm going through my uh actually i don't know what i'm going through right now you're looking for a conservative goth girl is what you're saying yeah but that's that's rare that's like uh that's like glacial water that's never going to happen you know so i i i mean i got a i got a i got a low my standards a bit. See, as ever has as a half Asian and a half white boy, I mean, all I get on

dating apps is fat Mexican girls that love anime and it pisses me on. I love how he's dating this gal and he's on dating apps. Are you, what dating apps are you currently on? I'm not on any because I got caught.

But it was, It was mainly like Tinder Hinge, full nine yards. My Christians only, Farmers Only.com, stuff like that. Now that would be a trip finding a goth farmer would be quite the deal. Hey, you know, I got a lot of acreage that, you know, that we're working on now. I got a whole lake that's dedicated my last name. We got some catfish, bass, you know, all the words. You ever see those posts on, like.

Like online where it's like some 90-year-old granny who has like a 12-point buck in the backyard and you try to sweeten her up to get that deed. It's like that, but opposite. So you're looking for an old granny to come shoot a buck in your backyard? You ever have a gummer before? Once you go, once you go back. That's what I've been told, though, me personally. Ethan, Ethan, Ethan.

What's real you back in here? I've never heard that before. or Ethan, I, so look, it's clear that it's not going to work out with this girl, right? Correct. So is she just a rent payment for you now or what? I mean, I very much care for the person. I do love them still. I hope to see them grow out to the person that they fully want to be.

And, you know, they go down the path that they want to choose and that they are destined to be. I want to help them with that. They've done so much for me in my life. I truly do love them and, you know, cherish them for that. But are they the right person for me? At the end of the day, I hate to say it, I don't think they are. I think one more year. And then I think that's it.

It's not a lease, dude. You can just stop doing it now, you know? I mean, I mean, we live in a house together. It's $1,200 a month. We split it $600, $600, easy as. My car payment's like, what, $293? yeah yeah it's it's a financial decision for you exactly exactly i mean it sucks as much to say and i don't want to use them for that and i'm certainly not using them for that i very much care

for them they help me and i help them i take them to work i get off at 10 they get off at 10 i go and pick them up you know it's it's it's it's not that bad um so you've heard of uh you know stay together for the kids yeah they're staying together for the rent Stay down for the right. 2025, man. You know, you got to do what you got to. It is what it is, you know? Don't.

Wait, what's this farm that you have that's in your name, though? That's the one your dad's one, right? Right, right. So when my dad died, we have like 160, 120, 123 acres or something like that. Okay. Most of it being oil stuff. Because I'm in my whole family, my great, not my great grandfather. My grandfather himself popped to come.

couple wells down on our property got that black gold and then we just been building up from there and we've been sitting on royalty checks um they wanted to uh coal energy the people that wanted to buy our like land and do the oil wanted to rent our acreage per acre five dollars per acre telling that isn't the scummiest thing ever man five dollars per acre yeah that's wild that's wild so is that why you're not like making money off that because you rented it out to some oil company to drain the oil we well we we were given that offer and was basically a big old dick smack in the face so we just told him no have a nice day and we just started working on our lake itself we're working on setting up two tiny homes up on the lake side uh we have like horses feigning goats ducks all the lot uh we have we're setting up a trailer part to go in the back where our paintball place used to be. And a lot of people say trailer park. They're nice.

They're nice. They're like a trailer park boy or like, you know, you pass in your sister long. It, you know, it's, it's not like that, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be a class. Everybody says it's not going to be like that. Yeah, it's going to be a classy trailer. Dude, there's a lot of nice trailer perks out there. I'll tell you that. No, it's for those people that are like in their 50s, you know, having their midlife crisis, wanting to get an RV and go down.

to a nice lake. You know, that's what it's for. So you're building a resort, essentially. Resort minus the casino. If I could have a casino in there, I'd be playing Baccarat all day. So, dude, you're saying you're staying in this relationship for the financial deal, but you're sitting on oil land and trailer park money, man. You know, you don't, right? Like, right? I mean, my sisters are, are the ones that are like actually living at the old property right now. I was basically cast it out and kicked down. out. And then I decided to move up here. And then they moved in over there and they're like

rebuilding the entire house. They're redoing like the, they're doing a trailer park. We have a whole LLC. They're doing a lot of stuff down there. And it's a lot of progress. They're they're eventually, we are going to eventually make the lake down there kind of public access where people can bring their kids down, have some nice fishing, drink a few beers, you know, have a good time. Good old American spirit, you know. There you go. So you're not. you're not but you're not you don't have like an inheritance

there's not liquid cash here yet oh I already spent a good money of that inheritance over at the casino on Baccarat man oh man

have I made some money no I'm joking I only spent a little bit on that I mean I've we all gone a share there is four of us I have three sisters and the only boy

so we all split it in four ways we got some jewelry we got some gold we got some stocks we got some money so on so forth. So don't you think you have the financial ability to just kind of move on with your life by

yourself? To a degree, yes. If I want to be in financial debt all my life, then yeah, 100%. I don't make enough money to hold over a house over my head. I don't have enough money to hold over a rent, so I have to have a roommate. And I'd rather take a roommate that I'm already acquainted with and already have previous relations with than rather have some like random tweaker come through and steal my shit.

Okay, well, starting, I never thought I'd say this, Ethan, but it's starting to make some sense. Dollars, no sense. $600 per month. There you go. Cool. Well, Miles, do you have any other questions for Ethan here? No, I think, yeah. I mean, is this IT job?

Is that the dream or you got your eye on something else already? I mean, so far, I've just been booze cruising it. I mean, I've been sitting on my, I wake up at noonish, 1230, 1 o'clock, I clock in, I sit on my ass all day, binge watch a little bit of Netflix, do some follow-up calls, you know, just multitasking in the background, really ADHD stim out, like full-on autism stem out. And then, you know, I just help people here and there and take a few phone calls. But really blows about the job is having to do with, like, 80-year-olds that have no idea what to do with the computer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's, I mean, it's kind of why you exist as a job, though. Yeah, that's everyone else can kind of figure it out.

That's, no, that's true. You are the Google for people that don't want to Google, you know? There you go. There you go. Even what is a Google? What about your, what about your stand-up career, man? Weren't you going to get out to the clubs? Weren't you going to put up some jokes?

Yeah, you know, I've been thinking about that and doing, I've been doing a little bit more research about that. I've been always told to do it. I'm just not a very funny guy. I'm very more of like a conversational less person. myself. So if I do anything, I have to do like crowd work. But I get up there. Get up and give it a go. Well, it's also like a time thing. You know, I work 1 p.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Friday. I got to go pick up a ball and chain from, uh, from their liquor from the lickistow, uh, every, every day. So I mean, it's, I mean, I just don't have the time to do it. Well, no time to do it.

Okay. All right. Well. Ethan I think I think I think I think you can rearrange a few things and you can you can find some time to do it you could you could get a shift you know or just start up open up the TikTok app and just start ranting about stuff on TikTok that's kind of a crowdwork type of thing yeah that's true I've been thinking about doing that I'm thinking about doing that on Instagram Instagram is a lot less uncensored I can go see

like an Indian man cut open like a live wire and get electrocuted and then the next real I have like some Ukrainian drone footage dude it's so unhinged it's so unhinged I have like fruits fruit AI eating other fruit and then follow up with like a horse giving birth dude it's completely it's completely to the walls it's different all right well you found your your home then I think yeah you got your first bit right there Ethan you know well look This is my favorite thing about Instagram reels and then just say exactly what you just said. Exactly. You can get live cop shootings and then you can follow it up with like some autism awareness program.

I don't know. We got we got to bring Ethan in for our next bellied up live, I think. Yeah, we do. Yeah. That's, I mean, that show is just all. It's just all crowd work. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll throw them up there before we start and just see how it goes. And then we'll bring them up and interview them to see how its first stand-up set went. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. We'll see how that goes. We'll see if I shit my pants or if I piss my pants. A number one or a number two situation, you know? Sneezing might be both. Oh, well, Ethan, we appreciate talking to you as always.

It's always a fun treat to get to talk to you. I'm glad you're, you're doing good, it seems like. And, yeah, good talking to you, man. Yeah, it's been a pleasure. Thank you again. Thank you both. Congratulations on the success of the podcast. Congratulations, Miles on your marriage.

It's been gone for about like, what, year? You're two now. Congratulations all around. Three years. Yikes. Congratulations, everybody. To the person who was texting beforehand, sorry, man, I was in the shower. You guys have a wonderful one.

It's been a pleasure speaking with you guys. Thanks. Thanks for my congratulations, too, Ethan. You fuck. I appreciate that. Congratulations, Charlie, on a great stand-up career. Hey, that's so true. Congratulations, Charlie, with your standard career, with your tour going on a while ago.

You know, I kept getting Instagram notes saying, yellow, and then some fish here in there. That was phenomenal. Only reaction I could do to that, by the way. Well, that's it. I hope you guys have a wonderful one. go bears you bastard I'm sorry

I'm from Kansas I don't know much have a good time you Ethan you take care man oh always a pleasure yeah

what a wild way to live man he's doing it huh yeah a lot of people I think are in that situation you know

they're in a relationship of convenience hey 600 bucks for a for a house I mean, a bad gig in today's economy.

You see, you know, it's the roommate, you know. Yeah. Well, should we take another caller, Charlie? Let's do it. Chad. Is this Chad? This is, Chad. Your favorite Rocky City Redneck.

How you doing, boy? Oh, yes. Doing good. You're a hard man to get a hold of. Well, I'm trying to say that way, you know, for the ladies. It's fair. Man of mystery. So for those that don't know, we've been trying to get a hold of

Chad for about three months now. He's big-timed us a couple times, but here we are. Chad, you got Miles, Charlie, and NFL tight-end, George Kittle on the line. Chadded up with you today. Hi, Chad. No way, George Kittl. What so, brother? How you doing?

Man, I'm phenomenal, man. Just want to talk to a rocket scientist. No, no, absolutely not. That's way about my pay grade, guys. What do you do? No, we're going to sell that to every. everybody. Okay, well, let's say it then.

All right, cool. Yeah, I'm a rocket scientist, baby. Let's go. Chad, what do you actually do at NASA? I'm a CNC machinist. What's that I mean? I make the parts that build the rocket. That's still pretty cool.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's pretty cool. Like what parts do you go? It's got to be late a few times. Oh. So right now, yeah, right? So I'm on the Artemis project right now. What does that mean? So the original moon missions was called the Apollo mission.

Yeah. And Artemis is the twin of Apollo because NASA names all their stuff after Greek gods for some reason. So we're going back to the moon. Nice. What are we going to do there? Well, some people would say that this would be the first time we land on the moon. Oh, here it goes. And look at his ears, Peter.

I've talked to a few guys in the NFL, and I'm fully in that guys in the NFL are the biggest conspiracy theorists on the face of the earth. I'm gross. Yeah, no, there's like five or six conspiracies that I... They do have the Illuminati showing up at the Super Bowl and stuff. Not wrong. It happens.

Like the pyramids, how do those get there? No one's moving those stones. You watch YouTube shorts like I do? There's like three conspiracy theorists on TikTok. that I'm obsessed with and I just can't get enough. Which are? The conspiracies are the guys who talk about it. Oh, they're guys.

Okay. So he knows a guy. There's just three people I literally follow them and me and my wife before we go to bed sometimes. We just watch like six conspiracies. I'm like, oh, no. Another one. Another one. Actually, I just saw a fun thing on TikTok.

It was our friend group has conspiracy theory night and there's like 15 people show up and they all bring a conspiracy with a PowerPoint and they explain it. to all of their friends awesome I was like that's a great idea I want to do that my friends might take it too far some of those but I'd have a good time just turns into arguing

with each other yeah 100% I personally don't believe all the conspiracy theories but I mean some of them like what's your top one okay so I firmly believe we did not land

on the moon in 69 I love it and you work at Nash oh we got it dude we got the scoop. A NASA employee does not believe we landed on the moon in 69. So think about it. So think about it.

I think we did land on the moon, but I think we faked it because we wanted the Russians to back off. They were like, oh, America beat us. We don't have to rush it now. And then these guys are like, yeah, you stupid commies. And, you know, we beat them to it. That's good. That's a good thought process.

I don't hate that at all. And I'll just chime in. here and say that as a guy who's been to Fargo, North Dakota in January, I they could have filmed it. They could have filmed it right there. Craters, just

nothing. Yeah. Yeah. You just do it right there at night. I could see it pull a little green screen behind. So, what are you building to go to the moon now? So right now I'm working on a part that it's, so they're having a lot of

trouble with um uh the air coming off the boosters hitting the main rocket is causing the main rocket to basically vibrate the astronauts to death um so i'm building some some no we don't want that at all uh so i'm building some fins that's going to channel the air in a different direction um to where you know our astronauts can get up there and get back down safely without you know uh i mean Some of the women may like it, but, you know, the guys are, you know, they're... I have never been more confident in our ability to land on the moon than this moment right now. Hell yeah. Hey, Chad, do you, like, do they, do you build it and, like, do you design it and you come up with how to design it?

Or do people, like, give you the plans and you just build it? Oh, they give me the plans. Yeah, that's checking out. Okay, okay, all right. I'm just curious. No, Chad, it's starting to become. clear and clear that you don't work at SpaceX. Oh, God. I would never

work at SpaceX. What's the beef between NASA and SpaceX? Well, SpaceX doesn't pay their employee. Jack Squat, man. Sounds about right. And they work, like, everybody who started with SpaceX, nobody works there anymore.

Not one single employee that started with SpaceX works there. Well, Chad, you better watch. your mouth because before you know it, your job's going to get hacked away by the guy from SpaceX. You'd be careful now. Hey, man, I got much well for Elon. I think he's doing a great job. But, you know, I mean, I think he knows how to make money. I'll give him that much. Yeah. Yeah. What's a Tesla stock price

at right now? I have no idea. Very topical joke, Josh. Are you talking about the burnt ones? or the good to go one. I don't know. But let's talk about this moon situation. So what are you guys going to do when you get on the moon? What's the mission? Well, I personally think that, so we're trying to get to Mars. That's the ultimate mission, right?

Let's get to Mars. Let's make our species an interplanetary species, right? Well, it's a hell of a lot of a launch a rocket from the moon than it is. Yeah, that is true. Oh, wait, he's cutting out. Hold on, hold on. To the moon where we can start. You cut out.

You're saying that it's a lot easier to launch a rocket from the moon than it is from Earth. Yes. A friend would believe it's a lot easier to, I mean, yeah, to get to Mars, it would be a lot more cost efficient to launch a rocket from the moon, you know, than it would be from Earth. Plus, you can land the rocket back on the moon easier as well, you know, less gravity. no atmosphere to worry about yeah you know so moon is kind of like that's like your uh your hub your hub yeah your uh your layover spot you know like your old hair it's a space dock

yeah yeah hopefully it's more efficient than oh hair yeah yeah do you guys believe the lines at the moon today it was ridiculous i sat i sat on the crater for five hours It's ridiculous. The line of Starbucks was crazy. And it actually is Starbucks. I use my Starbucks to pay for Starbucks and it's an arm and a leg. Are you guys, is NASA racing against SpaceX to get to the moon and then to Mars? No, we're kind of all partnered up now.

Oh, okay. Yeah, because like NASA was getting a lot of heat, you know, So, they're actually getting close to, funny. They were getting close to actually kind of shutting the doors. And then this guy had a brilliant idea. He's like, why don't we bring in private companies to invest in space and we'll partner up with them? And that way we keep the doors open and we can achieve our dreams even faster. Do you work with Jeff Bezos, too, on what is it, Blanche in or whatever?

no no there is um i don't i don't work with him but we have blue origin is here in huntsville as well um and they've got a test center out here on the base where i'm at now so i get to see a lot of those guys it's pretty cool man yeah i get to do some cool ass shit for sure that's awesome yeah it's some cool ass shit until something goes wrong as when they get up there and you're like oh shit and that's where we get all was it the deflectors that i was working on that's i was a little hung over that one day at work. Chad, do you know anything about what was the story a couple of weeks ago about the astronauts that are

trying to get back to Earth? We got them back. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wasn't there a conspiracy about them getting back though? It was like I had a kiddle, that's that's your cup of tea, brother. That is. Like someone said that the astronauts had already made it back

because you can see the flight log, a helicopter launched from like that NASA station flew out in the middle of the ocean. dropped off the astronauts so that people thought that they came from space. I don't know, man. My thing is, why does

everybody have access to these flight trackers that they can see every single flight at all time? That's true. That's a good point. The people that track Taylor Swift's jet everywhere they go or the Kardashians jet everywhere they go.

Like, why is that just public information all the time? Well, I think pilots, it would be weird if you could just track someone's car. Wouldn't it be? But, I mean, pilots have like an app. If you're a pilot, you have

an app that shows where all the planes are. So there's a lot of rich people with planes. I think that's there's a lot of rich people with planes. Yeah. So if you have that, then you... And there's also a lot of flying clubs for not rich people who you know, partner up with people to get a plane. Are you true? So, you know,

that even opens it up even more. Oh yeah. Yeah. People are just and soon we got flying cars coming. You've seen that. That's true. That is what. Hey, George Jetson was last year. So, you know, if you go up the timeline, you know, so did you see, did you see the flying car, the flying Uber's that are going to be in China? I just saw a TikTok about

this. They have, they've been greenlit so they can literally start this year. And it is like a two-seater with four propellers on each, a propeller on each corner. And like they'll be ready to use. Like, it's past all the laws. And they've been greenlit. And they'll be flying people starting in China like sometime this summer wow gosh they passed all the laws i wonder how they did that in china yeah it's fine yeah yeah yeah you know it checks out you're good to go i don't know if i would ever get one of those things it's just a drone basically at that point it's a human drone yeah there's no there's no driver it's just a drone you type in where you go and it drops you off i'm like that's terrifying yeah i'm ever flown a drone i do have a drone have you ever hit a tree with it

i've clipped a tree yeah so i don't think i'm going to get but i recovered Did you? I recovered. It's still safe. You know the fun thing about the drone? The fun thing about drones is there's a setting on it just on your phone. And you just turn off the max height. I wouldn't say that I've ever done that.

I have not done it. But you can do it. It literally says notification. This is illegal. Do not do this. And I would never do that. No. But I thought it's a fun feature.

That's insane that you can just like people are worried about all these different ways. Like we think about all the time we spent going through TSA, taking our shoes off. you know, uh, getting, is spreading them and whatnot. And then meanwhile, there's George is like, I haven't taken my shoes off in TSA in years, Charlie. You're living in 1990. My TSA precheck did expire. My wife didn't tell me. Oh, no. No. So we, we got our, we got our TSA precheck together and that expired. Uh, it was like two years. It was like January like 20, 23. I'm in the middle of the playoffs. and my wife renews hers. She renews hers.

And she goes, like, literally the next day she goes, oh, did you renew your TSA pre-check? I was like, no, is I supposed to be like, yeah, it expires today. And I was like, oh, no. I was like, when did you do yours? Oh, I did it mind a couple weeks ago. And I'm like, you didn't want to tell me that you were renewing your TSA pre-check. And so then it wouldn't let me renew it. And I went a whole off-season and year without doing it.

And my wife would like, oh, you have fun going through security while I do TSA pre-check. She wouldn't even sit with you. Rolls reversed if I had and she didn't. I feel like I would be going through normal security the whole time. Yeah. So, no, I did. This last year, I finally got it redone. So I'd down my TSA precheck back.

But that was a inconvenience. Wow. I thought about putting just in my bio having an airplane next to my name and then just putting pre with a green check line. Just so everyone knows where I stand. That's kind of sick, actually. You should do that. You should do that too. You start a whole club.

Oh, that'd be funny. You do it first. How about? No, no, you first. Get the podcast to do it. So where are y'all guys drinking at today? We're at Luke's 32 Bridge in Nashville. Just waiting for you to come on by.

I'm sober, but I'll come, I'll come say hey. Yeah, come on, say hi. Yeah, come on down. We're just at Luke Brines. I got sober because no matter where I look, I can't get tippy cow down here, guys. Oh, so you got. sober because you couldn't find pippy cow you're like why is it even worth that you know it's worth it I believe that smart guy um well you know we're just glad that you're sober working on those

rockets now yeah well yeah me too I'm pretty sure the mashenants are as well is that why all those vibrations were there because when you were doing it you were just shaking a little it makes sense I mean you put two and together it does yeah absolutely yeah well glad we got to have fixed up real good yeah but one thing we do need to fix when you think of hold on guys when you think of the Apollo mission when you think of like NASA and launching rockets and stuff what city comes to mind Houston okay and what's the other city where do they launch the rocket from summer in Florida we build the fucking Rockets here, nobody knows Huntsville Alabama exists.

No one knows what? Nobody knows that Huntsville Alabama is even like where we built everything that goes to the moon. Yeah, you're saying you guys do all the work and then Houston takes all the credit. Houston, we have a problem. Yeah, that is true, though. You can't have it. You can't have it both ways, though.

You can't get the glory and then take none of the blame when something goes wrong. Houston took that from you guys. Nobody's saying Huntsville, we have a problem. Chad's basically, he's an offensive lineman. Oh, no, my boss says it all the time. He's an offensive lineman. He doesn't get any of the credit. That's right.

Yeah, Huntsville is the offensive lineman of the rocket industry right now. That's great. Yeah, and Ron Braun is our quarterback. We straight have stole that Nazi. We straight have stole that Nazi. well listen listen is there any other conspiracies that we should be aware of as it pertains to NASA and the moon before we let you go yeah what about them aliens bro oh yeah do they exist they're here absolutely yes who's the alien they're who's the alien well you got one of them

in the white house right now let's dive deeper into that what do you know i mean if you had to if you had to think of like the you know an alien and if an alien rose to power who would you you know i mean who are you think it is i mean i've seen men in black so i know how this works you know you okay yeah that that's a very accurate movie by the way it's like it's crazy how accurate they got that i know It's ever being sarcastic or not. I don't think he is. I think this is dead serious right now.

Oh, man. No, yeah, I definitely, I would love to, because we will have a base on the moon within the next 20, 30 years. I mean, that's my dream, man. I want to be the first machinist in space. That's sweet. I love it.

That's a sick dream. Hey. All right. We got to bookmark this. Chad ends up on the moon. We are here first. You're going to belly up on the moon. Yeah.

Yeah. They'll have a floating bar in-person interview. Yeah. On the moon. I said dreams of playing football. You have dreams of going to the moon. It's kind of sick. I mean, yeah, that's...

Damn it. That is a big dream. We just got to remember to dream for the moon. Space League some year. That actually is a great idea. All the guys, when they get old, on the moon, you're lighter so your joints don't hurt as much. You can play longer. You could join the Space League in, you know, 20 years.

We got something here, guys. And then you might be on with something, bro. And then the Lambele leap, it can be the one giant leap for the mankind leap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. There's some in there. And then stands, it's just aliens, you know. Two stories. All right, we got to cut to commercial break as we wait for him to come down from the leap.

Oh, Chad, you've been special, man. This has been really fun. Yeah. Well, yeah, hey, Kim, next time you make it to the Super Bowl, send some tickets down here to Huntsville, Alabama. Maybe like a preseason game. Those are cheaper. We'll work on it.

Yeah, the Super Bowl tickets are going to Houston. Huntsville getting preseason. I'll get you a pass for the next year's Senior Bowl. Thank you, man. That's in Mobile. I mean, it's just down the road from me. That's easy for you. Well, Chad, we're glad that we were finally able to get you on the phone.

Keep doing good work. Or I don't know if you're doing good work. I hope you are. It was great talking to you, man. Good talking to you all, too, guys. We got for Dearest. I head of the folks for me. Sounds good.

Go good. Yeah, that's awesome. Aim for the moon, Chad. If you miss, you'll land amongst the stars. If you miss, you're just going to spiral into that emptiness of space forever until you suffocate. If I miss, it's Houston's fault. More space junk. Chad's like, Houston, we got a fucking problem again.

I'm spinning through space. This is not good. shit have a good one man watch out for space junk thanks dad wow I'm glad we finally got

chat on the not a dud no he gave us more than than we even envisioned you know we got aliens we got the moon landing

is he going to get trouble for any of that probably man I hope his name's not actually chat great for this podcast if NASA like cease and assist

this episode for us He was talking about all their plans. I love it. Thank you, Chad. I learned a lot. I mean, he was talking about how the rocket wasn't right because it was vibrating too much, you know? I don't know if that's public knowledge, but now it is.

Now it is. We got it. We got this just turned to investigative journalism podcast, just like that, dude. It was that easy. You never know. You never do know. I also like how he was like, Kittle. I don't remember what he said, but I was great.

Kittle, that's your cup of tea or something like that. I love it. Charlie. yeah miles you know what's kind of nice what's that starting off the new year with the new year's brunch with the family oh yeah brunches are good brunch is great with the family yeah usually usually yeah usually and i think i know a way that it could be even better what's that with a little tippy cow if if i had tippy cow every brunch with my family that would take it usually to an always there we go i like that yeah it's the midwest charlie so snow is likely falling and everyone's in there

comfy cozies. But what really sets the vibe is the minty mocha magic. We're sipping. And that's the shamrock mint tippy cow with a splash of coffee liqueur and some ice. Talk about a brunch from heaven. Sign me up for that, Miles. Trust us. This is delicious.

Or don't trust us, but one taste and you'll find out. You'll know. Yeah. Trust us or don't trust us. We don't care. Yeah. Because we got the sham rock tippy.

When you got to taste like that, you don't need trust. It won't even matter if your brother took the last piece of bacon when you got a glass full, a creamy, minty, tippy cow. So go on and have a cow, Charlie, this new year's season. Typicali cow. Boo. Triposponsibly, tippy cow rum cream, copyright 2025 Midwest custom bottling, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, all rights reserve.

Wow, is it a new year? New year? There's a new year, baby. Happy New Year, Charlie. 2026. Yeah. 2K26. 2026 2026 baby it's new year guys and everyone's got fresh fresh revolution whoa fresh resolutions

fresh illusions yeah maybe this year you're all about snowmobiles UTVs or hitting the trails but the first ride of the season has a way of humbling people fast snow drifts hidden stumps low visibility trails hit back if your new year adventure ends in the crash you gotta call nicolay law they fight for you miles everywhere you go they got uh they got they just got the boxing gloves on they're ready to step into the ring for you and we're led by russelli and don't let those sunglasses fool you he knows that uh you need to have your your new year's resolution should be to have nicolay law on your contact list just in case something goes awry that's true that's true one eight five five nickel a plug it in right now

and watch out for stumps it stumps gerald what's up man hey how you do you hear you hate family reunions well i'm trying to get a dish band during my family reunion and if i do if i do what i want to do three things are going to happen or could happen i could get banned from my family union which i'm fine with the dish could get banned from the family reunion,

which, again, I'm fine with if I want, or I and the dish could get banned from the family reunion. So what I'm thinking of is so diabolical that I'm asking you guys for advice. So I need you to put on your diplomat hat and your villain hat at the same time. Okay. The classic diplomat villain,

and Yang and Yang situation, you know? Yep. Yes. Miles, you can be the diplomat. Okay. See, I'm coming. Let's see. I want to see you look diplomatic.

Let's start off with this. What is the dish? Green bean cassero. I hated with a passion. Oh my God. I am on board with you, dude. Green bean cassero. To me, green bean cassero resembles

bull semen with green bean. bean beans floating in it, covered with the toenails of a thousand corpses. And before you ask, I know you're going to ask, how do I know what bullsemen looks like? All I'm going to say is I was in college and I needed the beer money. Just leave it alone. Charlie, you went to Wisconsin. You know what I'm talking about. I know my...

Well, yeah, you haven't told me about that college experience, Charlie. I just say I know my way around a bowl ejaculator, okay. Someone's got to hold it, okay? And I got something we're not proud of. You put a little utter butter on your hands, and that's what they like. No, okay. Trying to wrestle a snake or no? No, this is not a snake.

It's like trying to catch a jackhammer. So, listen. new put implied yeah here's the next question who is the one that makes the green bean casserole okay when you go to my family union here's how the everything set up you got the family patriarch which is usually my great uncle or my stepfather working the grill okay you know here it's midwestern this is the family unions in muncie indiana okay Midwestern people there's a rule when you get around the grill master we call it the grill master you do not tell them the advantages of charcoal over propane or propane over charcoal thank you you do you do not tell them when to flip the burgers when the turn to brot when the turn and there's a bigger reason why

because on each side of the cool each side of the the grill are two coolers full of beer if you criticize the grill master, you're banned from the beer. Yep. This is reasonable. This is a great reasonable family. It should be implemented at every family function. Yes. You go inside the small building

and here's how the tables are set up. You got your condiment table with the lettuce, the tomatoes, your four different kinds of brown mustard, your french's mustard, and you catch up. Then you've got the dessert table which has, you know, the cake, the pies and all that stuff. Being it's Indiana,

Sugar cream pie is a big thing to eat over there. Then you have the side dishes, which is the tater cod casserole or hot dish or funeral potatoes, wherever you're from. There's about two of those. There's a macaroni salad, and there's two kinds of potato salad, mustard potato salad and mayonnaise potato salad. Then you have four or five different green bean casseroles who everybody brags that if you just eat this green bean cassero you'll never eat another green bean cassero again it's a competition

that i want banned as well so yeah that was the most elaborate rundown of a family reunion i've ever heard in my life and it's amazing you want to get banned for how much it seems that you know and love this family reunion how many you guys got to be doing it seems like you guys do reunions like three, four times a year. How much you know about this? Well, here's the thing. In our family, we have a rule. If it's a family reunion, there has to be beer.

If there's no family, if there's no beer, it's a family gathering. It's not a family reunion. How often are you actually having a family gathering with no alcohol? That's what I'm thinking, too. It's like Thanksgiving, Christmas, but even then I get a little bourbon. You know, I bring some bourbon with me. I'll admit it, yeah. So never, in other words.

Yeah. It's like, well, if we're not having beer, they didn't say bourbon. They didn't say no bourbon. So we're okay. So, okay, so let me get this right. I think I know where your plan is going here. You are going to walk into that thing with the worst green bean cassero you could possibly make. And then you're going to waltz on over to the grill and start criticizing who,

ever's grilling and you're hoping that gets you banned? Yes and no. Okay, first of all, let me a little backstory here, okay? I used to work at this company and I worked in the corporate office. Okay, we need to know the full layout of the corporate office. That'd be great. What was on each table? It was just corporate cubicles.

But we decided to have a pot lock. And we had, me and this friend of our, my co-worker were big fans of Andrew Zimmer. the show. So we saw his show in Ecuador. And in Ecuador, he ate their national dish. It's called Kui. It's spelled C-U-I. Google it.

It's guinea pig. Okay. So some first graders crying out there, looking at the pet guinea pig. They got to bring home for them. Right. Well, here's the thing. I asked my Ecuadorian friend, her name was Gloria,

if that was true. They ate it. She goes, yeah. I'm like, do you have any guinea pig at home. And she said, yeah, her grandmother sent them from Ecuador. They're frozen in her freezer. And I'm like, could you bring one cooked for the potluck? Because me and my coworker want to try guinea pig. She did. Now, you've got to imagine this because this is the truth. It really happened. She brought in a serving tray. And this guinea pig is complete. Full guinea pig,

no guts. Eyeball still in its head. Teeth in his mouth. It's little hooves and it had no skin or no fur on it anywhere and it was surrounded by potatoes and carrots did they have a little cherry in its mouth no we had the people freaked out when they saw her bring that in one guy said he's never eating potatoes of carrots ever again so me and my friend tried it and i'm not going to lie it was actually pretty good we ate half the dang thing all the way up to the neck we couldn't go any further than that because its eyeballs were looking right at me and my friend it's just so creepy you know so we ate guinea pig wow did you so i think i know where you're going with this yes i want to find my friend

and put the guinea pig on a bed of green bean casserole and take it to my family union now like I said one of three things could happen there could be a fourth scenario although it's small can't the fourth scenario is my my family my family union will probably try the guinea pig like it then every year after that there will be a huge family the pet stores will be short guinea pig so yeah then it's like you get the opposite of a band you're like Like, we can't do the family reunion if Gerald isn't there because we've got to have a guinea pin. And I'll win the Green Bean Tassero competition, which is what I don't want to do.

Yeah. And then it just goes on forever because you keep winning it. Yeah. So, but I thought, you know, it would be really cool. I'd cover an aluminum foil and I'd unveil it and make sure all the kids were standing around. I did it. All the kids from the family reunion. And I'd unveil it and they're like, what is that?

I'm like, it's your pet sparky. So the kids will start, the kids will get traumatized. They'll freak out. They'll go to the family and they'll tell me to leave and don't come back, which I'm fine. Again, a win-win. Or they'll say, don't have the trash whenever we can never eat green bean, bean, because you ruined it for us. Win, win, win.

Win, win. So. I think everything's coming up, Gerald, in this situation, you know? I mean, it's just, and the funny thing is, it's not the weirdest thing I've ever eaten in my life. Okay, what is? I'm from Oklahoma originally, okay? You're from where?

Oklahoma. Okay. Born in Oklahoma City, Raisin Taltas. As a matter of fact, if you ever saw the movie, The Outsiders, I live three blocks from the house. Oh, congratulations. Yeah. Anyway, there's a, there's a restaurant in Oklahoma City called Cattleman's Steak House.

and they serve a dish called lamb fried. They're lamb testicles. Oh. They're battered dip, sliced, and, yeah. Are they good? But, well, I'm going to ask that whoever's looking at Charlie, the time, I'm going to tell them what they taste like. And I want you to time how quick it is before he comes back with a joke.

Okay? They tasted like lamb, but they had a creamy finish. Go. I think you just gave the punchline there I think you They actually had a creamy finish Yeah That's the thing I've been reading

So yeah But I want to know Am I going too far with this Or should, am I not going far enough Should I videotape it so you guys can share Yes If I get thrown out Yes

Please videotape It just turns into like a world star Fighting video I do think You got to put an olive in the guinea pig's mouth or something like that. A cherry tomato or something. Cherry tomato would be good. Yeah.

But please. Please videotape this. We would. And then if they don't like it, you got to talk to them about how they're being culturally insensitive. Yes. You've got to be more inclusive when you're eating food at a family reunion now. If you really want to make them on. comfortable, um, you bring your Ecuadorian friend with and you, before you unveil it,

you talk about how much of a delicacy it is to their culture and how happy you are to, you're so glad that they're so welcome, your family's so welcoming to them into the family and then unveil the guinea pig and see them squirm because they can't be outraged, otherwise they're being insensitive. That's a great joke. If you guys were to do that at your family reunion, let's say you people from Wisconsin, you surround the guinea, big with cheese curts. How would that go over in Wisconsin? Well, I'll tell you exactly.

Oh, what in the hell is? Oh, you shot a squirrel. Good for you. That is a plump squirrel. Wow, where did you get that one? That's some bitchman's eating some acorns. You must have got him shortly before winter. He's got his fat on. Let me try a piece of that. So Wisconsin's full of good people.

Good, good, good. Wisconsin's full of concerned eaters, you know, and that just means they're concerned how much they can eat. But that was my plan for the family union. And, you know, when you talk to your parents about doing stuff, they always say, we'll seek counsel. Well, you two are the wise stages of the mid-class. Oh, well, Gerald, that's a real compliment coming from a guy like you, because you

are you are midwest royalty yourself sir i mean the way you you laid this out for us the creativity involved in making torturing your family it cannot be paralleled by either miles or me i don't think and and i don't know charlie if you went to business school but anytime you hear the phrase win win win situation i think you run head first into that situation i don't think i don't see any problems with it now there is a scenario that you guys haven't thought about because you guys got such a large fan base to listen to your show other people might actually listen to this and actually want to do it and you could have started little family at field in the McCoy wars across the country now so you guys will share in my delight or it might spread like wildfire and too soon um yeah yeah might spread like wildfire and all of a sudden the the roasted guinea pig becomes a staple in the Midwest potlucks. Oh, yeah, and even moves its way to the Christmas meal, you know. And then all of a sudden, the people of Ecuador are calling stolen valor on us and say,

you can't have, you can't do it. Well, that's, I mean, look, corn beef mash came from Ireland, you know. I mean, now we got the guinea pig coming in from Ecuador. I think it's a great, beautiful thing, a blending of cultures and, um, You know, and worst case scenario is still a good case scenario for you. So I say roll the dice. Exactly. Fry the guinea pig.

I mean, honestly, it doesn't even feel, it feels like a sure thing. It doesn't even feel like he's rolling the dice. I feel like he's, this is a home run. So you're giving me hope. Good, good, good. Yeah, I think you've got to push all your chips to the center table and go all in on this idea. And videotape it for you guys. Please do.

Please do. And get a few, if you got a few nieces or nieces or. nephews that are just hold a we'd like a few different angles on it few different camera angles we'd like one on you one tight on the guinea pig and one on the reactions of your family well i have 12 grandkids so that won't be hard so yeah it would be fun well gerald uh you you really have done outdone yourself today i we're excited for you what days the reunion actually i just missed it if i'm going to planning for next year. Okay. Well, you got time. You know, I got time. And I might even fly to Ecuador

and get some guinea pig myself. I've got that kind of time. You got to get top quality guinea pig for this. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's like you got to do like what they did on American gangster where he went over to Vietnam and set up his shipping lanes. You got to go over there and find a good plug. And then, you know, see, because I have a feeling like you're going to be opening up a restaurant soon called the guinea pig and that's all you're serving and you're going to need a supply run so i'll call it gerald's pets there we go yeah it's like at the red lobster you can pick out the lobster you want to murder and eat you know pick up the guinea pig you get to pet it name it and then and then eat it for dinner and i'll video it so that if you

see how they're their guinea pigs being prepared so they can't say we're tainting the guinea pig but yeah that would be good that would be my concern is if you're tainting my guinea pig I would hate that because that would that would be what would ruin the experience for me is if you tainted it exactly not the fact that I was just petting a cute cuddly animal and then now I'm just putting it in my mouth you know yeah so guinea pig it is I will serve it and I will when they shall videotape it and hopefully they'll be weeping and gnashing of teeth and then I'll just

do you the video and we can all laugh. And it's really smart of you to name it Gerald's Pets. It allows you to expand into the Asian culture and just be also serving dog, you know? Well, there's nothing, hey, there's nothing wrong with dog.

You saw the movie Patriot, a dog is a good meal. So yeah, you know. We're touching on all different cultures here today on the bellied up podcast. And if you do name it a pet store, you're going to get people coming in looking for pets. Well, that would be, that would be, there would be nothing wrong with that.

I'm like, well, what did your pet look like? Oh, I know what he tastes like to. Come over here and I'll show him to you. All right, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I can do that. Yeah.

Honestly, kind of a fire marketing strategy, make people think it's a pet store and then they get there and they're like, oh my God, but I am hungry. Yeah. I'll stay for dinner. I drove all this way to the pet store. I better get some chow. They'll never look at their pet the same way again.

And isn't that the most important thing? But yeah. I guess. Diabolical, Jared. Diabolical. Well, it's the least I can do. What did I say? You call them Jared.

Oh, I'm looking at Jared. I'm not the subway guy, so yeah. Jared is our producer here. Sorry, Gerald. Well, he gets a guinea pig first, then. I'll send it to him. I swear to God, Gerald, if I get a box with dry ice and a frozen guinea pig to my door, we're going to have a conversation.

I'll send it with some bottle of beans and a bottle of kianti as well. Okay, so you'll be fine. You'll be fine. Trust me. well thank you gerald you really made us we'll have to earmark a year from now and get a bellied update on how it went yes and the video and everything all right call us back my guy we'll do thank you guys all right see you soon what a guy man what a guy 12 grandkids this is what he's cooking up in his spare time Some people golf.

Other people think of how to take revenge on your whole family. Also, very funny that he did this at a work event, right? And instead of being like, oof, that didn't go over too hot, I shouldn't do this again. He's like, I think I got an idea. Let's bring it to the family. The reaction was so bad. I can use this in other parts of my life. I kind of want an invite to that family reunion.

I'm not going to lie to you. I would let, yeah. I mean, that's a reason to go to Indiana. right there. It's the only reason. No, not the only reason. You can look at the windmills. Indianapolis has a nice downtown.

Should we take another caller? Let's do it. All right. We got Cliff on the podcast. Charlie. Cliff, how are you? Good. How about you guys?

Longtime listener. I'm a longtime fan of you guys' channels online. And I'm super excited to talk to you guys. Cliff, what the hell was that? What happened there? going into cardiac arrest? A little bit. I mean, I've had a couple drinks, so I can't really complain, but

kind of went down the wrong hole there. So my apologies. All right. Well, he's nice and liquored up. What's on your mind, Cliff? So, yeah, you guys, I left a, my voice mail a couple of weeks ago, got some family issues. So, I mean, a lot of things have happened in the last couple weeks since I left the voicemail. Okay. Is that good for us or bad for us? Um, I mean, for me, I, I, uh, don't care for the

uncle much. Okay. So something is going on with your uncle. Yes. So to take it back a couple weeks ago, uh, actually a couple months ago, my apologies. Um, so what happened was is my aunt and her, him have had issues in their marriage for about, oh, like I said, the last couple months. And he's been very distant, not talking to her, just very, like, yeah, you know, distant. And, um, one day he was at a barbecue with his, uh, so I have two cousins. Clip, you really know what to tell a story. I'll tell you that. I'm with you. I'm horrible at telling stories, but I, let me just talk to it because this is a podcast. No, I like it.

It's the spider web story. We're getting it. Your uncle and your aunt distant in the relationship. Your uncle's been distant, but you got these two cousins. Okay, so I have these two cousins, and they were at a barbecue, my uncle and my oldest cousin. And he was on his phone almost the entire time, right? And so when she was kind of curious, she kind of walked behind him and he saw him messaging somebody. And she called him out on it and was like, hey, who the hell are you talking to?

And he kind of, you know, pulled his phone away real quick and he said, nobody, nobody, you know, that type of thing. And she said, no, no, tell me who you're talking to. And then he just flat out more or less told her, I'm having an affair with a woman on through text message. Whoa. What a weird flex. So I'm having a text affair. Okay. So yes. So do you guys ever heard of the pig butchering scam? No. Tell us. So the pig butchering scam is more or less somebody, everybody gets these texts, more or less saying like, hey, I can't wait to meet you for coffee.

at yada yada time and you're like um who is this or you just full on ignore it he texted back and said hey i don't know who this is you have the wrong number and then they go and say hey i apologize for even you know texting you but what's your name and then it kind of just snowballs into a very talk about you mean this guy had to have been lonely he was I mean I mean no dig on your on but some

I mean and you know Miles it does take two to tango I'm not going to argue there and I don't know I'm not defending him I'm not defending him you're going straight to blaming the aunt right now dude I just I just I started thinking about like what mental spot do I have

to be in to, because clearly this is not, he's getting calf-fished, right? More or less, yes, but here's the bad thing, Miles, is that they just renewed their vows this summer for 35 years. Oh, damn. That's so bad. So bad. You still want to blame the aunt, Miles? No, I'm not blaming the aunt.

I just was like, God, he's probably got to be so lonely if he's just willing to strike up a romantic relationship with some guy in India. He's like, I don't even care who you are. If you talk to me, I'm all here for it. Not that you bring it up, I've gotten text messages

like this before. Of like saying, hey, are we still meeting up or something? Yeah, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, this is totally this guy's fault. I'm not saying I just was thinking like, where you got to be at. What's this call again, pig fishing? Pig butchering. Pig butchering.

And why is it called pig butchering? So what happens is like, like, like, uh, like I was saying, they kind of just like, oh, like text them random number and say like, oh, let's say this guy's name is John. Like, oh, hey, John, are you ready for coffee? And they're like, oh, well, this is the wrong number. And they're like, oh, well, well, what's your name? And they get to an intimacy over. text and like trust and everything to that extent and then they more or less are fattening you up

to you know slaughter you oh that's where the analogy comes from okay okay i was thinking like in terms of a fishing analogy that makes sense like you're just cast in a a wide net or something um okay okay you know i would say fattening the calf before the slaughter is what the term i would used in this sense. A little biblical, too. Yeah. Um, okay. So, okay. So your, your uncle's now broke. He sent all of his money to some guy in India. So, you know, he's had a very good job. And, you know, he's actually saved a ton of money, you know, in his 401k over. He's worked in, uh, the mining industry for gosh, 25, 30 years. And he saved a ton of money, had a great, you know, set up pension, everything to that extent and he brought so going back to my cousin that caught him um she he told her right away like

hey i'm having an affair and then he told my youngest cousin he didn't even tell his wife yet you know my aunt so they're they're trying to keep the secret from her and all of a sudden they're like you just need to tell her and he told her and so what's weird is that this gal that he was thorpe man i don't know who the hell he's talking to robot a robot it could be a i you know charlie that's up your alley yeah you're in a romantic relationship with a robot no chat gbt um can you help me feel love trust me in all the wrong places no i they i don't maybe that's why charlie's so defensive about ai is that he secretly is in love with an AI woman.

Is that true? First of all, an AI cannot be a woman. Second of all, her name's Tiffany and all right, all right. So did he send money over? So he, my

cousins were begging him because they were more or less asking hey, like this gal was asking for money for a quote on quote, investments in crypto and gold. Yeah, right? And that's what I said.

And even my dad was like, what a dumb ass. You know, and so he, before my, so just the cut to chase, my aunt and him did get a divorce about two weeks ago. Oh, wow, dude. This is so sad. It is sad. You know, you know, they've been together for 35 years. It's affecting, you know, my cousins, you know, they both have kids.

and just, it just destroyed the family. So I'm kind of just bringing awareness to, you know, families out there, if this is happening, you know, cut it, this nip it now, you know. Yeah. How much money did he send? Oh, okay. So the first time my aunt noticed in their 401k account because they have a shared account, you know, because they're married.

He sent $50,000 to this woman. $50,000 to invest in quote-unquote gold. Oh, my. Wow. And so, yeah. And that was the first time? How much did he send the second time? For what I know, and this is true, you know, $400,000.

What? Oh, my gosh. dude yeah your poor aunt man but here's the thing before he sent that $400,000 she got out like a bandit let's be honest here before the divorce he promised her the house he paid off her car which was worth about $50,000 itself and then she got one-third of the 401k so I mean she kind of got out okay but you know I still fell back for her I'm not saying like oh good for her you But this guy is now thinking he invested in crypto and gold. And then when he asked for his money in about five, six years, it's going to be all gone.

Wait, he doesn't know that this is a scam yet. No, they've tried to tell him. They've met other people that have gone through the same thing to try to talk to him. And he's like, no, no, she's real. 100% real. And they're like, no, she's not. Yeah. Has he talked to her on the phone?

own. So, Charlie, yes. So this is the weird thing about this is that he says he's FaceTimed her called her over WhatsApp, you know, and that's where we're all kind of like scratching our heads. Like, this gal must be like, like, this has to be something through like India or she, I guess she's from like Thailand or something. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, okay, look at the, he does know that you can just, with the technology now, you can just invent a person, like SORA, all those apps, you can just invent a person to talk to you. Yeah. And this is what, so my younger cousin, she tried to, so he sent her a photo of what she sent to him over WhatsApp, like, um, that she's from Santa Barbara and she works for this company for investors, blah, blah, blah. And she sent a photo of his

name written in the sand on the on on the beach and i i saw it and i was like that's a i no doubt that's a he's like send me a photo she sends a photo back and she's like only has three fingers he's like wait what's up with that she's like oh i just was born that way you know what cliff though you're right man you're right this is that's a PSA dude people are getting scamped So did she, did they get divorced and then he sent over his whole $400,000? Well, I believe from what I understand, you know, I don't know everything about their finances, but from what I understand, they had about $2.1 million in their 401k for retirement. And so one third of that money went to my aunt and he paid off the house or the house

was already paid off. They've been in that house for, gosh, like 20 years. and yeah I mean so I think he did send that $400,000 like when everything was kind of getting finalized because I don't believe they were divorced

when he did it so I mean it's kind of a weird thing to talk about but I mean yeah and the thing is that he keeps making plans with this gal that hey

like come to Santa Barbara this date and we can meet each other and he goes okay I booked the flight and everything and all of a sudden the day before two days before like oh no I had to go to New York because my mom's sick yeah I mean I know we know how this is gonna go yeah yeah it is truly sad it's just horrible yeah and uh yeah oh my apologies Charlie you go ahead oh no I mean I just say like you just like these um bots are like trained on like it's got all the your information you know that you're putting out there and the stuff that you like scroll past or whatever so it knows where all your weaknesses are and uh and it

can be so easily manipulated and this is uh just a case of that man that sucks yeah and like i said he still thinks uh you know she's real you know he lost everything you know his wife his his his uh daughters won't even talk to him you know it's it's just super sad he lost a five-bed four-bath bathroom home that's like 2,500 square foot four baths he lost do you know how funny it is that he just gave us the number of bathroom the run down on the specs you know it's got heated floor in the garage living rooms got bolted ceilings you know do you know that in a nice quaint little neighborhood on a cul-de-sac he just gave that all away yeah he gave it all the way man i mean

he just kind of gave it all the way because like like kind of what you were saying miles you know it takes a lot for a man to be lonely enough to just give it all up i i think it's partially that but it's also partially like like all his weakness are like out there you know what i mean like when you got that much data that that people can just buy and manipulate that's what happened so they knew exactly what to say to them it's probably an i mean it's obviously a i but that's so messed up dude uh oh yeah and he still it's like a mental disease you know um to give up your five bedroom four pounds 2 500 square foot key to garage vaulted ceiling house for that

is crazy yeah now to a one bed one bath single wide i mean i mean going up in the world is he in a single wide now yes oh shit all right i mean some of those are nice but well it's a good PSA i'm not judging at all you know if someone texts you from a number you don't know and it's actually someone that you know trying to get a hold of you it's still going to be okay even if you don't respond to someone that you know who's doing that. I'm so confused with what you just said. I'm a little lost two miles. You get a text saying,

hey, can we meet up? You don't know who it is. Even if it's someone that you know and you just don't respond to them, it's better than responding to someone you don't know from a number like that. Yeah. I mean, no, I get it.

That makes sense. You'd rather just not show up to the engagement that you were supposed to be at rather than like just texting numbers you don't know right you know what I mean well and it even gets gnarlier because with the voice stuff you can make your voice sound like you know someone you know you know they've had that too I know someone that almost got into that problem yeah like they made their voice sound just like uh the one guy's kid yes that that happened to a

friend's grandparents where it sounded like he was calling them asking for money and they gave the money it's never been easier to scam I think the one was like He's like, Dad, I'm from, I'm in jail. I need you to wire money to get me out. Trying to do that to a Midwest, dad, you know. Oh, yeah, you're in jail. Spend the goddamn night there. What the hell did you do?

Huh? Rotten there, you son of a bitch. That's not the way that I raised you. And like, those scam people are just like, do not call any of these area code numbers. You've had no success. All of Wisconsin is off the list. Oh, man.

Well, are people starting to heal yet at all from this? Or are we still in the thick of it? Clearly, he's not over the five-bedroom, four-bath, 2,500 square foot. Oh, and your uncle is still, is this uncle by blood or did he marry in? he married in okay well at least there's that yeah

yeah I mean me and him never really cared for each other anyway so I ain't losing sleep over it I just feel bad for my aunt my cousins because like I was kind of you know raised around them sure she's like my second mom

and those my cousins are like sisters to me so it really just breaks my heart to see them going through that you know yeah that sucks yeah but damn ironically you guys brought up the how, you know, like a kid calls their grandparents or something.

That actually happened to me in high school as well. High school. How old are you? I'm 27. How did it happen back then? So my, I was about 16, 17 at the time. I was in English class and my grandma's texting me like, hey, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine.

What's up? She's like, I thought you were in jail. I was like, you thought I was in jail. and she's like, yeah, somebody called us and said you were in jail and they said they were going to arrest you if you don't get us Google gift cards from Walmart.

And they get it. Oh, no. And my dad called me and he's like, you're not in jail, are you? I'm like, I'm sitting in English class listening about Shakespeare. What are you talking about? I love how it was so plausible

that you could have been in jail that you helped defraud your grandparents. So they're like, I mean, that sounds like it could have happened. That's a, so did they get that one figured out or no? Yeah, they sent them the money and then nothing ever happened. Okay. But, yeah, you know, it is what it is. It's unfortunate, you always hear about those old scams, those email scams of like an African prince or something or princess is like, hey, I need money to get out of jail or I need help.

my people are in trouble you know like it's super like crazy how far they've come with scamming oh yeah yeah it's not yeah 50,000 dollar uh vacation giveaway email and now yeah yeah just yeah yeah yeah i got i got people that um i think i've said this on here before but i have people that text me uh like have come to a show say like talking in the front row with me about a dog or something like yeah we talked about that and i was like i this is not the time to let you know but that wasn't wasn't me but um yeah they do that stuff all the time i get messages saying like uh this is a fake account or whatever and you think about all the people who didn't figure out it's a fake account do you get that too mouth um not really as much not as famous as you

that's not true miles you just don't look at your messages that's what this is really about i have a kid Hey, I got two. I mean, yeah, you can get, you can pay attention to scams and have a kid, Miles. I mean, it's true. I do have a lot of free time on my hands. But I have a house plant. I have fruit flies. I have responsibilities.

I'm just going to start responding to you with when you ask me certain questions. I'm just going to respond with I have a kid. that's really nice and it's accurate too and uh his kid knows how to build a better fort than me that's another uh more structural integrity although i'm going to show you that that's not true my else just you wait so cliff yeah um where's things at now uh things now you know my aunts it's it's kind of in a weird state they don't talk well they talk i mean they have you know a couple grandkids together and of course two daughters um so they kind of have to talk to each other and plan out stuff especially for like a birthday parties and family get-togethers and all that

stuff and i mean my aunt is very heartbroken of course you know she's in a weird state but i think she's trying to move on you know like it's i can't really go into detail but you know it's their marriage has been on the rocks but i mean they were like I said 35 years renewed vows and you wouldn't think something like this would happen you know yeah so I mean I don't know too many details of what's going on now but yeah I mean it was a crazy time when my my mother actually told me about everything happening I thought somebody got cancer or something she's like yeah there's trouble in their household I'm like oh my god who's dying she's like oh no they're getting a divorce

I'm like, what? No. Tell you what, though. Christmas is going to be pretty interesting. I agree. Like, you know, sometimes go to Christmas, you're like, fuck, what are we going to talk about? You guys don't have that problem. So look at count your blessings. Count your blessings.

Spill your tea. Cut to like a year from now, this guy's a billionaire because of the investments. It actually was real. She's like a smoke show, you know? Yeah. He shows up to Christmas in a McLaren and he's got a gold necklace chain on this gal from Thailand on his wrist, you know, on his arm. Oh, shit. Well, one, you still cheated on my aunt, but also good for you.

Yeah. You know, we can look at it that way, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the only thing now for your uncle to do is to just start trying to defraud a bunch of people get his money back, I guess. Yeah, just go back to the old emails, you know. You just won a $50,000 giveaway, you know, for a cruise. What a bummer, man.

Well, tell you, tell your family that we wish them the best. If you guys are going to get caught up in a scam, do it the old-fashioned way and go to college. don't be texting someone and send them money for gold, okay? Yeah, exactly. Hey, Charlie, you're going to be in my neck of the woods here in a couple of weeks. Oh, where? Charlie Barron's on tour, ladies and gentlemen, Charlie Barron's.com. Where am I going to be?

Near Spokane. Spokane. Awesome. You live by Spokane or in Spokane? Yeah, I actually live on the Idaho side here in North Idaho. Oh, nice. Hey, be careful when you're there. This thing might be contagious, okay? I don't need you catching this bug.

I don't need you to come back with a Thailand girlfriend, all right? Are you going to come out to the show or no? I haven't gotten tickets yet, but I'm hoping to get them as soon as possible. We'll hook you up. We'll get you some tickets. Cliff. Cliff's calling it. You don't have to do that. That'd be too nice.

Text your full name, Cliff, and we'll get you on there. You know, you give free tickets if you bring your uncle. Oh, Miles, I'll be trying some very thin ice there. Just think about the crowd work, Charlie. He will be maybe owning. So does anyone in the audience know, have a family member who was maybe caught up in a scam? And then you raise your hand and then be like, who is it? He's like, he's actually right here with me.

And we'll see, we're clip farming, Charlie. I like it. It's a little clip farming situation going, hey, if you do want to bring your aunt and your cousins, we'll hook you guys all up with tickets. I promise I won't bring this up on stage, all right? But if you don't bring them, I'm going to bring it up, all right? So, well, they live in Montana. I live in Idaho, so I don't know if they make it out. It's not going to work out. Your aunt doesn't have anything. I'll bring my wife. She can come. God, dude. What?

First you blame it on the end. Her time is cut in half now. I didn't really blame it. Not you, Cliff. Not you. I'm talking Miles immediately. He's like, oh, the amp must have fuck something off in this relation. The guy doesn't get that lonely.

I know it sounded that way. And I admit that. But that's not what I meant by that. That's all right, Miles. You got a kid. You can't be paying attention to these details. I got a kid. Well, when this kid can build a fort that looks like a five-bed four-bats,

$20,000 and then there's Charlie like, yeah, I kind of got a bucket in the corner. Oh, man. Where's your uncle living now? He's still. He lives still in the same town over in Montana. I mean, he still lives over there. like yeah so they live in the same town you know they work for the same company just not in the same areas cool well we appreciate you telling us the story yeah sad but also a great time for

a PSA and that's just don't text back numbers you don't know yeah yeah and you know i heard that story that you guys did uh god i can't remember which part what number it was what episode was but about the guy about his father-in-law and I was like gosh you know that'd be kind of a good thing to talk about to let people know like yeah though hey don't fall for an only fans bottle yeah yeah yeah yeah where there's what's actually funny is someone earlier was complaining about Charlie's flights and that was the day where you forgot your your ID and you try you use your expired passport oh yeah the airport that's right almost didn't have podcast that day too well you know some things never change but uh miles well we appreciate you calling in cliff this is

great well yeah guys thanks for letting me come on the podcast here and it was fun talking to me great to meet you guys hey great me and you too text if you want to come to the show we'll see in person do i just text the number that was sent to me yep you got it awesome guys um yeah just make sure to say hi to your cousins and watch out for geese. Boom. That is my favorite barley charons quote. I took it as a compliment, honestly. Yeah, I showed it to.

I brought it up to him and he was like, oh, yeah, that was great. I was like, Charlie, you're supposed to be mad and you're supposed to do a rebuttal. No, maybe I'll do one now. I didn't get that, but you should. I mean, the cheesehead was the cherry on top. I mean, Skull, go vikes, you know, but that's just me. It was the cheese on top.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, Cliff, well, thanks for calling in, my guy. Awesome, guys. Yeah, of course. Thank you guys. And for real, though, say hi to the family and watch out for deer. All right.

You too. Remember to change your air filters. Make sure to check your air filter and your pickup. Oh, yeah. God, I forgot about that one. awesome guys you guys have a good one we'll see yeah dude timmy did you flirt with him mom boys i did on accident all right what happened with you and said mom and there's no shame in the game so okay yeah yeah boys okay so i was at this concert with uh two of my friends

what concert uh it was a cody johnson concert got it's pretty good i went to a cody johnson concert in August so oh yeah maybe you're there pretty good yeah yeah where we where was your concert at spokane yeah i was not in spokane washington at a cody johnson concert yeah continue on okay yeah so uh to put in context uh my best friend and his fiancee has third wheeling with them not really um it's pretty normal thing for me okay and all right since since that's a normal thing thing, Timmy decided to get on the booze a little too hard before and at the concert. So I was pretty drunk. Also, I love starting out using your name in third person.

Yeah, Timmy on the Hootch train. I hope that that's what you were doing when you were hitting on this mom. I'm sure that that worked good. I didn't. I didn't know. Timmy likey. No, no, no, no. Timmy likes mommy.

Well, kind of. She was cute. And so she's sitting in front of us and I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm not sure if I'm seeing two, three or four Cody Johnson's right now. But I mean, just look at the center one, okay? Yeah. So sitting there and she's sitting alone taking a video and I'm like, oh, she's kind of cute and she's older. Like, no, that's not what you said. You know, God, that chick's fucking hot.

Didn't you? No, no, no. I just said, I'm going to flip at the ball. Let's see where this goes. so I kind of lean forward and I'm like hey how's it going and so I started flirting with her Timmy's doing his thing

and I did say hey I'm Timmy and yeah you can call me Timmy but I'll also call myself Timmy but she's like you are first of all she goes you are way too young for me and I was like well Was it was it you're way too young for me or was you are way too young for me

No, no, it was the first one. I was like, you're way too young for me with a little laugh. Uh-huh. And so, first of all, right there, I'm like, oh, sweet. She's like, she's, she, maybe, maybe, here we go. And I said, well, how, first of all, you don't ever tell you your age. You say, how old do you think I am? And she said, between 29 and 32.

And I said, you're right, I'm 30, which is a lie. I'm 23. But enough beers, 23 looks like 30. That's right. And she said, I have kids that are going into college this year. So she's old enough to be my mom for sure, which I knew. She was, my guess is she was around the age of 50, maybe. Which is, I mean, like, Timmy, like, that's the reason why you're talking to her.

You like, yeah, you're into that. Timmy's got a thingy. She could have a lot of money. That means that's what's what you mean. Or she could come with a lot of problems like kids. Yeah, but if they're grown, then you're good. good, actually. This is like the perfect scenario. They can be your friends

too. You can be your drinking buddies. Yeah, you put your cards right, Timmy. Yeah. You can get an invite to Easter, dude. Yes, exactly. But she and I was like, oh, that's all right. I'm fine with having a few stepkids in college. Only

four or five years older than them realistically, but you think I'm yeah. Yeah. So then I'm hopping over a seat and I'm standing by her and She starts flirting a little bit, taking pictures with me and stuff. And then she's, it's going great, going great. I mean, can't think of anything wrong.

And then I throw my arm around her and my friends are behind me. And my body, my best friend, he's like moving my arm like low back, not on the butt, but low back. And I'm like, all right, stop it. Stop touching my arm. Let me work my thing here. Yeah. Let Timmy. Let Timmy work.

yeah let me let me work let me do my thing and then his fiance is like pulling my arm off and like fondling her hair and messing with her shoulder like it's me so this girl thinks like i'm just all handsy with her playing with her hair and all this realistically it's my friends right behind me and i'm just at this point so many beers in i'm just laughing at this point and uh so then end up she i wouldn't say either of a i would say we kissed each other okay i didn't really lean in she didn't lean in i think it just kind of happened that that sounds like somebody who's in trouble with their dorm room or something we kissed each other i swear you know you're gonna like this part then because i this is why i said that i wouldn't say either of us really made the move but then as we're kissing she kind of leans away and goes hold up we can't use tongue and i looked at her and i said okay what that's kind of never heard that before as you start to kiss a girl what's up and she goes we can't use tongue

and i'm on the right side of her it's dark out i'm 12 beers deep and she lifts up her left hand and goes i'm married and shows me the biggest rock that i've ever seen oh boy oh man timmy you hooked up with cody johnson's mom dude jee yep yep says and cody johnson yeah she sounds like a good gal yeah that's what i was thinking i said you know what everybody makes mistakes And maybe if this, which the worst thing is, is I could be a home record and I'd never know. Like, I didn't, you can't blame that on me, right? Did you grow up Catholic, Timmy? No, no, Christian.

Hmm. Just, just blanket Christian or? Yeah, non-denami. You're non-denami. Non-denami. The field goods. Yep. Huh?

Was it off a highway? Your church? Nope. It was a strip. mall close yeah no no yeah so so then what'd you do what do how did it end up so i ended up luckily the concert was about over so i like that she's like i'm married so let's just stick to lip kissing in no tongue all right yeah exactly which makes me think this isn't the first time this has happened with this girl if she's out here kissing another guys in public and then goes i'm married she's they

maybe have maybe a little bit of an open relationship maybe not so But what I did, I just hopped right back over the seat that I was standing in front of to my row, to my seat now with my friends. And as she said this, I think we all kind of turned and our jaws kind of hit the floor like, what just happened? What's going on? So I hopped up there and I'm like, we need to get out of here. And I was like, I don't know if her husband's here or not, but we need to get out of here before he is here. And so we're standing there and everybody's kind of trying to get out of the venue. Her friend comes up and goes, oh, what's going on here?

And she looks at a friend and goes, you know what happens here, stays here, right? And I was like, oh, my gosh, what is this woman? Like, this woman is married? Why is she, like, okay with all this? So then as I'm like, dude, let's get out of here. My buddy, being a smart ass he is, he leans down and goes, hey, you have a good night. Did he tell you he was 17, by the way? You should have seen the look on her face.

she was in her jaw hit the floor like oh no i didn't just mess up i messed up real bad and then i and then we just left we didn't ever say anything for all it's where she still thinks that i'm 17 okay all right hang on okay ladies and gentlemen this is a PSA if you know what was her name i don't know if you know a mother of college age children who likes to go to cody johnson concerts and make out Spokane, Washington. Spokane, Washington. Yeah, Charlie. You didn't get my ass kick.

Make out with younger looking fellas. You let her know that Timmy Johnson's 23. No, not Timmy. Timmy, never mind. We'll give you Johnson's last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have Cody Johnson's son. Timmy Johnson.

She got Timmy's Johnson going. I mean, for a split second, never, not much of a boner killer when you hear them. woman's married. I had a boner right there until she said that. Then it went away. Yeah. I actually popped a B. Well, Cody Johnson was singing Deer Rodeo, but then that went away pretty fast when she said she was married. Yeah, I was like, I just wanted to get a little chubbed up for Cody. That's it. I promise. Yeah. So, I mean, that's kind of how it went down. And that's, that's the end of that. Well, you get her number?

hell no look man you know you didn't know you didn't do anything wrong yeah but like this is what you're supposed to be doing at 23 is like hitting on yeah hitting on moms you know yeah

I mean like I yeah and there's a lot of moms out there that are single and just looking for a 23 year old to hang out with for a little bit there's nothing wrong with that I'm not going to yuck any mom's yum you know and I don't think we should be out here judging them and

Unless they're married. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I was saying. Yeah. But even in that case, you don't know, you don't know. Like, maybe she's got a no-tong compact with her hobby, and that's how they do it. The no-tong swing, you know? It's the baby swings.

I hope so. I hope this guy's not out here just looking for me. No, I bet you he's out there with like a 23-year-old opposite of you. Yeah, I don't know if that's, dude, do grow. Are girls into that? Are 23-year-old girls into that? What? Are 23-year-old girls into 50-year-old men?

That's the only people they're into these days. Oh. Because, sorry to break it to you, Timmy. No one in their 20s can provide for a woman anymore. You can't afford shit. You can't even provide for yourself. Let alone a woman. Yeah, fucking, have you ever heard of a guy named Bill Belichick?

I mean, come on, dude. Dude, doing yoga again. 24, yeah, I wish. If you were 23 years old right now, you cannot provide for a woman. So what do you think they want? True, true. Okay, yeah. Hopefully her husband's doing that then.

And maybe we all need up. You are so guilt-ridden, Timi. Dude, you didn't even know. There's no way you're non-denami. You are definitely Catholic. Yeah. Go, get over it. May I love you Catholic chicks.

It's fine. you're fine you did good you feel guilty she thinks you're 17 dude yeah i i don't we had to put on a PSA so she could do like sleep easy yeah no i mean i don't look like um 17 so i think she's good i think she she knows but what's the dating scene been like sense you find any uh other cougars no nope no cougars i've tried to stay away i'm a little traumatized um but i I kind of just needed the affirmation from you guys to say that I didn't do anything wrong so I can get back out into the mouthline.

Yeah, dude, we're here to provide it. If that's the worst thing you do in your life, you're going to have a pretty good life. Yeah. Because, like, we talked to someone earlier today who was stealing coins out of a wishing fountain for drugs. I think you're doing fucking fine, Tim.

Yeah, this girl was stealing other people's wishes to buy drugs and you just got one of those wishes. Maybe one of them coins was my coin for a hot milf, and so she took half my wish. Yeah, that's why you didn't get any tongue, dude. That's why you only got lips.

Yeah. It is that crackhead's fault. All right. How dare you call Sophia Crackhead? Sophia has a great job now working for a construction marketing company.

Is she married? she's got his accomplice is hasn't popped the question but he's going too soon he's an electrician and keeps her grounded so she's almost right up your alley timmy yeah sounds like she's halfway there to a perfect few more months old timmy rocks we call him because he hasn't get it going with anyone who done him a rock the reason why i ask how the dating's going because like you may have like a uh uh stifler's mom situation on your hands where like now girls your age aren't even interested to you. You know, has that happened? No, no, no. Don't you worry, Miles. I, uh, you know, I was on a little bit of a dry spell before this and it kind of kicked me out of it and then hear me out. And I mean like a year and a half didn't, didn't even like a half. It didn't even kiss a girl for a year and a half, which was fine, you know, like you just saved the money at that point. Trying to provide for one woman instead of 15. And, uh, so then and then I kiss this mom and on the way out. And on the

way out. I mean, the cutest girl, she was 22, my age. And she ends up, like, her friends, I don't know, I was pretty drunk. And I said, I think we should just make out we're walking down the road. So I don't remember, actually. I don't think I said that. I don't think I said that guys. But yeah, it was, Timmy liked to make out with you right here. Timmy tonguey. Timmy want tonguey. Timmy got blue bolley with no tongue. Yeah. Didn't say that, but I felt that. And so I ended up kissing her. stuff. And there's a good cute photo that her friends took of her

cowboy hat over us making out. So kind of snap me out of a good, good dry spell. So is that your girlfriend now? Or you're like talking like you're going to get married to this gal? No, we went to the bars and she ended up living five hours away. And then that was that one night we made out

and that's it. So it snapped me out of this dry spell though. So we're we've hung out with a few different girls now. So we're back in the day and game. Back in the game. All you need was just you need that mom to just knock you straight dude and we're happy she was there

do it and maybe maybe that's maybe she wasn't even married you ever think about that oh we got what didn't Adam Sandler do that in one of his movies? I don't know but what I'm saying is maybe some moms if they

no she would have full on made out but some people have a ring in their pocket and they put it on if they want to bail on the encounter okay true true yeah hopefully that was it probably not but it's just a wishful thought at this point yeah for sure so yeah i mean that's all i had i didn't need the advice i just needed a little help getting out of the dumps and feeling all the guilt so yeah i mean unless you guys got anything else maybe next time what do what do i do next time um well you i mean like are you

you're it seems like you're you're in denial about really loving the idea of hooking up with a bomb no no i i i mean i obviously i know the right answer or the first answer look at the left hand see if there's a ring there or not that's the first thing but you don't want to do that do you timmy so kind of likes the thrill doesn't he likes the chase dude i love the chase the chase the forbidden yeah And so, you know, like, you know, sometimes, yeah, I'm trying to make a good analogy. You give me, sometimes you just want what you can't have, right? Like, you just chase what you can't have.

And sometimes that rock means that's a chase you can't have and you just got to go for it. And that's totally a joke. I'm not going after married women. I'm not trying to be a home record. I promise. It takes two to tango, Timmy. All right. Okay.

Okay. all right and so Timmy tangos Timmy tangos that's it that's your new name Timmy tangos I imagine it comes to the bar and like busts in the

Wait wait wait Miles is that a C-O-M-E-S or C-U-M-S Oh Timmy tangos is getting after it He said Timmy comes to the bar And just got to clarify which comes You are 23 years old are you holy shit Okay it's all right mouse what are you saying when I come to ball It doesn't matter Timmy I feel like I need like a once a month Timmy Tango segment on this podcast

just to hear the stuff you're getting yourself into. I got a good story. Maybe we call back next month because I got one. And it's this one is it with mom. It's moms. It's with sisters. True of sisters. So maybe we keep the segment going.

And next month you guys call back and get that story. Because you can't go through all of them in one call because I'm not that interesting. We'll run out on this segment real fast. But he'd say he needs to live life a little in between these. Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll bring it back on.

I guess that Timmy Tango left a little cliffhanger, I guess, for us. Timmy Tangoes. That was the first episode of Timmy Tangoes with a married woman, ladies and gentlemen. Stay tuned next time when Timmy Tangoes with two sisters. sisters three sisters yep that wasn't in milwaukee was it oh i think their last name did start with a bee but i'm not sure oh no you know oh no that sounds familiar no i'm kidding nah i did that that did drop that episode about the guy wanting your sister to date and that dropped last week didn't it yeah yeah yeah that was that was a crashing bird for that dude he he was the most

uninteresting person. I mean, zero, like what, you're not going to say anything to her? You're going to, like, shoot your shot

and then be like, uh, uh, come on, all right. Well, Timmy, Timmy Tango,

what's your pickup line then? Other than, hey, you want to make out while we walk out of here? Now you're putting me on the spot. Are we talking Charlie's sister?

Because that's what that situation. Yes. Okay, Charlie sister, I'd say. But now we're throwing it back in your face because, you know,

he was under pressure. He was under the, Gun? Now you are to Timmy Tango. You cast the first zone. Be without sin. Which one is, what's your sister's name again, Charlie? You think I'm telling you Timitango? It's, uh, it's, uh, the sisters, uh, it's none your barons.

Oh, okay. None your parents. I'd say, I was going, Nunya Barons. And I'd say, you know, I really think your brother is a very interesting character. And I'd be curious to see if you are like that, would you maybe, want to go on a date with me. I think your brother's hilarious. And, you know, I just, I'm not trying to use a pickup line. I'm just trying to be like a nice guy.

Just not sound so awkward and weird like that dude. Also, I'm taking shots at this dude. I don't, I don't know why. Yeah, I mean, that wasn't as bad as it could be. Yeah. I mean, the bar was pretty low there, Timmy tango. You think your sister's sick of guys bringing up you and she's talking to him. It's true.

So you just crashed and burned simply because you brought Charlie up. Yeah, true. I just didn't want to go full. Like, I've been kind of douchebag mode this whole call. If I go douchebag mode in front of Charlie, obviously, he's not. I don't think you've been douchebag in this call. You're just Timmy. Yeah, you're Timmy tangos, man.

True. You, like, found yourself like a suitcase of money on the street. You don't know if you should keep it, you know? Yeah, yeah, true. It's not a good analogy. yeah i didn't i'm not following that's all right i i would like to say charlie the three sisters their last name is not parents so you're all in the clear so it's all of his married sisters who you know me i'm in the married women damn that's a good point all right all right timmy well you call back

we want to hear about the sisters all right yeah i'll call back and jared isn't it jared yeah Jared Jared's a dog like DAWG by the way He is a dog Thank you Mr. Tangos He doesn't get enough credit on this podcast He does a lot of it And I'm proud of you Jared

I love it when I can hear your voice Do you get a little chubbed up But it's all right I appreciate it Timmy thank you Also Jared's married as well So no That's why he's so Timmy tongue Keep relax a little bit here

I don't swing both ways So we're good but all right well we'll be in touch we'll maybe get timmy tango's part two or episode two on in a few months and we'll we'll talk to you guys later all right timmy you'll be good my guy okay all right thanks for taking the call boys you guys we'll see yeah skyler mild do you betcha guy oh you betcha it is you bet your ass we got charlie barrens here too there skiler oh charlie barrens How are you? I'm doing good, man.

How are you doing? You can find your red-breasted McGanzers around lately or what? Aren't they sexy? God damn. I'm still waiting to find one. I haven't seen any yet. I haven't gone. Huh?

I was down in Beloit. Still couldn't find any. Yeah. And you get your knocks out. The weather's weird, man. The weather's weird. For God's sake, it was 90 degrees yesterday. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I know. Yeah. I got a question for you, Skyler. And I mean this in an actual. curious way. Would you say that Skyler is a predominantly male name or female name? No, definitely a female name, but it's even cooler that I'm a male, right? See, because up until I watched Breaking Bad, I would have said that Skyler was a guy name. Well, it's funny. I was in school. In middle school, there was five Skyler's all spelled differently. Really? That is the most

millennial shit I have ever heard. Yeah, isn't it? It's crazy. I got a brother named Tyler. Tyler and Skyler, huh? Yeah, yeah, I said that one fast. Tyler, Skyler. Because, you know, you think about Charlie.

Charlie in my mind, it's a male-dominated name. Charlie is a girl name. But most people named Charlie are guys. But Skyler, I just don't know. Maybe if he switched the C to a K and be different for Charlie. That would be Carly. but miles why'd you quit pouring concrete miles have you ever poured concrete 19 years strong and if you had the option to make a career out of uh posting videos on the internet

while drinking beer with some of your best buds would you do that or would you rather or would you rather work concrete every single day i mean i love pouring concrete budd you would you would do it. He loves pouring concrete. Yeah. So there's some stories. I, I amputated some fingers not too long ago. Oh. It's still sad. I can't pour, I'm pouring concrete now. Okay. I didn't think I was going to be able to. Oh, man. Um, okay, lots of questions. One, how did it happen? Two, did you amputated or the doctor? And number three, did you get a bag from getting hurt on the job site? So I did the amputation. Uh, it was on the job. use a circular salt just hit a knock kick back oh yeah i i broke the number one rule i put my

fingers where i shouldn't have put my pecker you know yeah but no now i can only count the nine so it's just one oh you only last one that's not bad and a half one and a half and a half so really eight and a half which one uh my ring finger on your thank god right on your left hand or right hand left hand okay okay that's a great setup yeah about since i only got the three fingers since i only got the three fingers i'm gonna be like well i might well just tattoo op on it that's not bad idea they're married to the game yeah uh yeah so you you it happened wisconsin that's definitely an oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it's an oak it's definitely an ope and then you lost half your pinky too half my middle fingers so i if if i like you

you get the middle fuck you know yeah i don't like you get the whole one yeah like kind of the polite fuck you you know it's like yeah it's like the double two horn you know yeah yeah it's not he's not laying on the horn yeah it's just just yeah what's really driving me and saying they're like well how many do you need i'm like four like crap that's only three four you know i got to put the thumb out there now yeah So what do you, you've been doing for 19 years? What kind of concrete work? We're talking flat work.

We talk at base. I love it all. But I'm a union concrete finisher now, four years strong. Okay. Four years in the union finishing, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I love it every minute of it. That's great.

So for 14 years, you were just, you're doing the grunt work or no? No, no, no. I was just non-union. That way you can still party. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. When they're like, oh, how long are going to take you to finish this floor?

You'd be like, oh, about a 12-pack, you know? Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about. We were well-behaved concrete crew, though. We only would drink on the days where we had to strip a wall, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all just throwing panels around that. He doesn't take actually any skills.

So we were a wall guy. You don't really got a lot of brains. You need one guy with the brains and the rest are a bunch of, you know, I can agree. But dude, I did some flat work. I helped a buddy pour a patio a few weeks ago. And I looked at it. Oh, that's right. I heard. Yeah, me and my brother. And I looked at him and I said, holy shit, flat work is the easiest thing on earth. Dude, I love pulling the board. It's, it's, regardless of what you're doing, pulling board, pulling the come alongs, whether you're, you know, finishing. It's, it's so easy compared to

putting up a basement. Did you find yourself, Miles, when you were back there, back in the game? Was there a piece of you that said, hmm, maybe a few more times? Well, I just, it felt good, you know? It's like, like if I had to do it for a month straight, I probably wouldn't have the same feeling, but it did. There was a lot of excitement for getting back in the game. Got going.

Because once in a while, I do sit in the office and think about like, God, it'd be nice to get back out there. Yeah, then you lost that weight so the belly's not in your way no more, right? And maybe that was it. Maybe I was like, holy shit. Last time I did this, I was like 60 pounds heavier. This is easy now. Yeah, dude, I've gained 30 pounds since the injury. Now I've got to work it all back off.

So why would you get you losing a finger? It's not like you amputated your leg. Well, yeah, I know, but I wasn't working, so I wasn't moving. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's literally lost weight. Does it take you two hands? to run a burner trawl? Come on, dude.

You could have been out there. I'm working circles around people behind my back. Spoken like a true concrete guy. I'm one-handed. Did you, Skyler, what did you do with your finger? Dude, I tried to keep them. They wouldn't let me. What?

Why? Yeah, I'm like, they're mine. You know, like, why can I keep them? Let's just pickle them in the, you know, just pickle them for me. Yeah. What do you mean they can't take your fingers, dude? Just a little finger and some sauerkraut maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like when I'm in there, I'm in the emergency room, you know, and I got such a dry mouth. I'm like, hey, guys, give me something to drink. I'm like, oh, we can't give you anything to drink. I'm like, well, crap. Well, one of you guys spit my mouth for me? Like, I'm not into that thing. But like, but you could be like, yeah, I could be right now. You know, you never know.

How is that relevant? It seems like you were just trying to. You were just trying to tell us that you told someone. one to spit in your mouth and you just yeah pretty much yeah it was pretty funny at the time I was trying to think of my fingers cut off he was waiting for the call he's like all right how can I work the spit spit my mouth no no I definitely was I had to figure out you know he bobbed and weaved a little bit in there but just couldn't hold it in any longer and he didn't want to tell us about the fingers because of the story he just wanted to get into

the spit in my mouth joke yeah which I love I love that about Skyler well you guys did you like the Amish joke I called in about? You guys had that Mennonite on, you know, a couple weeks. I was not told about the Amish joke. Well, how many men does it take the pleasing Amish woman? I don't know. Two men a night. That's good.

That's real good. Actually, much more family friendly than I thought. You can say that one in church. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to confess it, but you can see. say it quietly. I tried to tell it to an obvious guy. He didn't quite understand, I guess. Well, you got to tell them in German. Um, sorry, Pennsylvania German or whatever. Yeah, Dutch, Pennsylvania Dutch. Pennsylvania Dutch. Okay. Why can't you keep your finger?

I don't know. I never got the question. I went to surgery. That was your problem. You should have just said you lost them, you know? Yeah. Well, I didn't even think, though, grab my fingers, to be honest. Well, who grabbed them? What were you thinking about? Well, why? What were you thinking about? If you weren't thinking about your fingers. One rode with me in the saw still. And the other one, someone left, you know,

someone brought it behind. So wait, you brought the saw with you in the ambulance? Yeah, the saw rode with me in the ambulance. I turn around. Like, is that my finger in there?

I'm like, oh, finger was in the saw. Oh, did they try to reattach them or you got a finish plate on there. You might have had a shot. If my dad would have been running this crew, he'd be like,

God damn it. The medics took the fucking circuit. saw. Now we don't have one. How are we going to mud's, mud's coming. Mud's coming in two hours and I don't got a circuit. I got to go to the store. God damn it. Yeah, we just got done for them. We were trying to build a tent, but they're the two by four in a way. So the big rush, but they found my finger in a salt because someone grabbed us all to continue to cut. Hey, dude, the show goes on out there on the job side. Just because you cut your finger off doesn't mean that we don't got to get this poured. Yeah,

don't let me stop anything i mean it was poured it just had to be finished oh yeah but the rain was coming you had plenty of time after all the water got on it who brought who brought your other finger to the hospital uh one of the workers i don't know who it was i just know it showed up and and you just had them there and did they they try to reattach him no they reattached the index finger but that thing don't work oh you cut off your index finger too yeah i got yeah it so just think like if you're doing like a totally bro is what I thought I was going to be. Oh God, that's terrible.

Oh, no, it's all right. Um, okay. So you said they reattached the index figure, but it don't work. Let me guess you haven't been rehabbing it. No, I rehab it all the time. Okay. Wow. I hit a correct type of rehab.

No, not all. So there's like, so when they put that index finger back on, they had to pin it for three weeks because, you know, when I, I cut the whole fucking thing, the tendon and all. And it just had built up scar tissue now. So now we're just bending it by force until they redo the tendon. Got it. Because I was to say, if I know a concrete guy, they get injured. And then they're like, yeah, it feels all right.

Then they stop doing the rehab. And then about six months later, they're worse off. Yeah. Yeah, no, no. I need this thing to work. I got to ride my dirt bike again. That was my first thought. I looked down on my hand.

I said, Jesus Christ, you just cut my fucking fingers off. I'm never riding my dirt bike now. you you jumped to a lot of conclusion that first he thought because he didn't have a couple fingers he couldn't do concrete work and then he they'll ride in the bike dude there is well people who jump to conclusion people who are in a wheelchair can now drive a car we got that type of technology you can still drive a bike without a couple fingers yeah sometimes i wish they would have kept that that ring finger is like a little nub you know and then give me like a prosthetic So, like, if I'm at the bar, I'd be like, hey, hold my finger, you know, it'd be a good little bar joke.

Oh, they didn't? They took it past a knob. No, they, no, it's gone. The ring finger's gone. My middle finger's about above the middle knuckle. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's a, I mean, you're always partying, you know. You're always, I know, I'm not partying no more. I don't party no more. Well, when you raise your left hand up, you are. Oh, yes, I am. He's like, he's like, he's, like now if I'm going to be operating the saw I only go through a six pack not a full 12 I just grab I just grabbed the apprentice you know tackle box go over here and cut this for me do you did you did you get a handicap sign to hang in your truck that would be nice

at the gas station you know front row parking oh yeah rock star parking so would you consider would you consider me being an amputee I'm going to yeah yeah you better you better milk that dude kidding i can't milk it i don't know well um but they like i'm fed i haven't gotten over the fact that they don't let you keep your own fingers like no i know i still can't get over it either like the are you i don't know like there should be a finger failure you know like a burial you know like a burial you know maybe yeah like if you would have been able to bring it home you could have put it on your pillow at night and then maybe like tooth fairy whatever the finger fairy would have left you Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just wake up and it's magically back in. I got visited by the finger fairy last night. All the old concrete guys, you show up. You're like, I put my finger on my pill. I got a 20. That's fucking bullshit. When I cut my finger off back at 64, I only got a nickel. You know the first person I thought of, though,

sitting there after surgery? Maybe I should give Nicolet a call. Well, did you? Did you? I'm not going to say I did it I can neither confirm nor deny all right that is actually great to know we are good to know yeah we're going to renegotiate

based off of your settlement here we need to get paid four beers per episode now this is what we call in the biz leverage yeah yeah yeah we got the two finger uh so we'll take twice what we made last time. Yeah, yeah.

You know. Where you got bellied up to today? We're at Sport Bar here in Fargo. It's a nice spot. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah. He seemed like it was a good little live show. It was. Yes. It was fun, man.

Fun. You got to come to a live show at some point. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, we'd love to have you on stage, dude. If you come to one of the bellied up lives in the prompt, because before I had you, like, can submit yourself. stuff. You just got to put it in there that I'm the two-fingered wonder, you know. Yeah. Now the four-finger wonder. Four finger, well, three and a half finger wonder. Yeah, three and a half. Do you want to count the thumb then? Then you got to go two and a half. You know, is the thumb really a finger? Just say you're the finger wonder and we'll know.

No, it's good. No, you have to say that you're the finger fairy. Yeah. Yeah. Then I got to find out how to make cool shadow puppets with it. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That can, you can't even do a t-shirt once you find the correct shadow puppet and you make a ferry out of like your hand with the things. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just a concrete guy. I'm not smart enough to figure that one out. Yeah, me either. I mean, as soon as I put

it up as I don't know what I'm talking about, but when they when they say, uh, what, if you can't finish high school, you can finish concrete, I got that ran. I ran with it. Oh, God. You know, stealing you can yell and scream and then you can go home and be all right, you know. I told one guy, Miles, he's talking, he was running his

little cock sucker and he's, you know, I said, hey, Larry, I haven't seen you finish anything but a sandwich and he didn't talk to me for three months. You got a sensitive crew. That's pretty mild where I come from. He must, you must be one of those Gen Z concrete guys. Yeah, he was older than me. You know, the hazing I went through. You know, you rake too, you rake it too down too much. they take that rake and it goes flying across the job site while you go fetch it and come back and try again oh yeah you tip the board over that's a 12 pack um wet i uh one time after i you know got out of the biz i just started doing like you bet you stuff and i again had a had to come out of retirement to help my uncle pour a shop floor and i showed up very hungover slash still a little

drunk and me and my brother were out the night before and we were the guys pulling the concrete and let's just say we got the tool ripped out of our hands a couple of times because we were slow moving. Were you on

the payroll or doing a favor? No, this is a favor. Yeah, this is a favor. So like what did they expect? That's the worst. If I'm not getting paid, I'm not showing up sober, you know? Dude, dude, exactly. And on a Saturday, if that. Oh, yeah. no my big thing is maybe be raking you know freshly 21 drinking and then you come in all hung

over and you're raking and you're just puking and raking at the same time yeah i heard that you can you know add to the structural integrity of concrete yeah that's what i thought like now now they got the where they don't even need rebar they just put like they just put the fiberglass in the the concrete you know what i'm talking about oh yeah um yeah it's if you just puke right they pull up on it yeah if you just puke right it on there and and mag it into the concrete it's just does the same effect yeah of course you know just a aqua film you know a little day one action it does the opposite of sugar hey do you think what i'd be sitting there thinking something do you think they call it retarded because it makes the concrete a little bit slower

or oh god the stuff i come with all day did you write that on your own yeah of course with your right hand or yeah with the right one you know as i'm waving at concrete all day i was like what do i what can i come up with here you know you gotta have some fun on the job have you ever done a basement wall before oh yeah i'd do wall big gang forms i've done high rises i like doing walls i would have done i would have been a carpenter if i could have just bought my card and did walls that's true yeah i like doing it all nice i'm a universal you just don't find a lot of guys anymore that have pride with doing concrete work anymore no i know we're talking 19 years on the job getting ready

celebrate 20 you know staying for the gold watch yeah the gold's 20 and they'll go to tower crane but now i'm just going to keep porn i think well he's he's married to you know how to get rid of back pain right how cut off a finger take your mind right off it you haven't thought about your sciatica since you couldn't show someone you were married that's old miss are you married no not married

so you really are married to the game I love yeah yeah married to the game but I got a girlfriend she was there in about two hours hey is that why you're not married you're just like hey I just have nowhere to put a ring anymore. Yeah. No, no, no, no, because that just now came about. Oh, are you getting married now? No, but if I do, I'm just going to put wedding ring with an arrow pointing. Yeah, in time it or happen, you know. How long have you guys been dating? Seven years. Jesus fucking

Christ. Seven years? What are you waiting for? I don't know there's too much of a hassle you know what's a piece of paper I mean dude if you wait any longer you're not going to have any fingers left to put a ring on at all you never know when you need that emergency

contact I'll tell you that's what the gold watch is for yeah yeah you get that in the retirement right I mean thanks for giving a finger yeah it was more of a wedding ring joke when you don't have fingers but you know oh yeah yeah yeah

yeah they're at the wedding They're at the wedding and they're like Skyler, take this watch as a sign of my love. Or she just gets a tattoo gun and tattoos it for me, you know? Yeah, that could be romantic.

Yeah, usually Adwayne, the best man forgets the ring, you forget your finger. Ain't got to worry about that. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I can always put it on the nub. Yeah, there you go. A little nub ring.

Yeah, a little nub ring. Just a little nub. I already wear a whole stock stocking cap for your finger. I already wear a, I wear a finger condom over it. Oh, I call it a finger condom, but it's a finger cover over my nub. There you go. Yeah, just get a, get a diamond in one of those. Oh, that'd be cool.

Maybe I just have it implanted. I told them, you know, to get this knuckle to work, why don't we just put a grease lurk in that damn thing? You know, grease it once a week. They're going good. I think losing your fingers gave you a hot 15. I think you should try stand up. No, no, no.

I just do comedy at work. Again, he just does it for the love of the game. I know. You got to keep people smiling all day. It's quite literally the only way you can continue to do concrete work is if you actually, they have a good sense of humor. Otherwise, you're screwed. Yeah, you throw those feelings out the door when you sign up.

Yeah. Yeah, fuck your feelings. I'm sorry, but Oh, well, man, this has been great. Yeah, I'm glad I gave you guys a good laugh. Who took your finger, dude? What do you mean? Who took it? The hospital took it?

Yeah, the good old Blois Memorial. All right. Well, you got to circle up with them and ask them that that's legal because I still feel like you should be able to get your finger. All I got are pictures of memories, you know, I've had a lot of good time with those fingers. you know now you got to tell the

tell the girlfriend is it the thumb or the nub what one is it? She'll probably kick my ass for saying that. Yeah, you deserve it. You deserve it. Oh, well. Well, good talking. I chase around with it.

Yeah. You guys take care. Watch for deer and tell the folks we says, hey. Yeah, all right. We'll do. Have a good one. Yeah, take care. Be good.

God, I wonder if I could still podcast. Charlie, if I cut my fingers off, you know? Oh, my God. Wow. That's what, my buddy did that with a band saw and, uh, calm nubs for a little bit. That's really mean, by the way. Is it?

That's really mean. Really? Calm nubs. Yeah. That's just too far, Charlie. I mean, it seems pretty basic. You know, he was cool with it. I'm joking.

Um, Jerry Garcia cut off his middle finger, uh, on a saw and that was their logo was just to his hand with a nail finger gone. Another buddy of mine was just, actually, he, he was fixing a ATB, got caught in the chain, was half of his male finger. Oh, my God. So a lot of people are out there losing fingers. Have you seen the saws now that, like, detect if it's a finger and stops? Yes, with, like, hot dogs and stuff.

Yeah, no, you've seen the hot dog video, right? Well, no, I have a saw that says it. it can do that. Did you try it with a hot dog? Well, I took that thing off because it's such a piece of shit. I took the guard off immediately, dude. It's a table saw and it's, um... So my question where I'm trying to get to here is, how does that even work?

How does it know? Uh, I don't know. Dude, magic. I, I think... Because obviously it's got to really F up your saw. So you really don't even want to like test it with a hot dog, right? It's like, it's just stopping at that quick. It's got to ruin the saw, right?

There must be censored. Because you're right. There must be some kind of sensor, but that would be on the end of the blade. But how does it know? Because the blade gets warred down. Like this is now going in the category of underwater firecrackers. What's the other one that I don't know how it works? Cryptocurrency and saws that detect if it's flesh that it's cutting that stop.

Underwater welding. Underwater, anything underwater. I don't understand. how it works. To put all those in the same category, how does it work? Writing underwater A friend of mine is scuba diver as a pen that works underwater. Again, I don't understand it. Yeah.

But wild, wild things. Yeah. The sawblades have a small electrical current detector and your fingers conduct electricity and wood does not. So when you think it's touching, it sets it off.

fascinating dude that's kind of sick so you could cut a dead guy's finger though theoretically yeah yeah you're right i don't know why your brain went so quickly to that well they wouldn't have electricity running through it i would say you could maybe like chop up you know you can fillet a fish that way yeah that's right that's right i guess it is weird especially me looking the way i do to be talking about that yeah well um that was a pretty entertaining i still i'm hung up i was hung up that whole call on the finger thing dude why they would take your finger tell yeah was that annoying for you that i won't let that go no i mean i'm still yeah i'm concerned about it anyway should we take another caller who we talking to

oh you're talking to angela you got charlie here with me how you doing Oh, you know, I was just driving out to run an errand Because you boys were taking so long But that's okay Oh, sorry for taking so long What are you out there getting? What's your errand? Oh, you know, just a day off drink

A day off drink That's your errand to the bar Or did you go to the liquor store? No, no liquor shop Yep, I'm headed out to the liquor shop Okay, well, good for you Good for you I heard you're struggling with the new golf course in town.

Oh, boy. Which one? The one that comes into my property or the one that is actually a golf course? Let's do both. Let's start with the property. All those sons of bitches. They put a ball right through the window. Oh, you got a ball in your window, huh?

well hang on did you buy a house right on a golf course or is this just coming in no no i'm not stupid no i'm not stupid like that okay no i live in an apartment complex okay but when you move from the cities down to you know rural wisconsin you think you're safe but then you think you're shooting all right we're gonna have to back this train up so you were in what city? Oh, I lived in St. Louis Park for 23 years. Oh, okay, right over there in the Twin Cities.

And then you moved to what city are you in now where this golf course seems to be a problem? Can I say it, Gransburg, Wisconsin? Okay. All right. So you moved into an apartment building there, knowing there was a golf course right next to it? oh yeah but you know if you're taking a shot off the first well actually it's i think it's the third

tea there you got green then you got whatever they call roughage and then you got a city street that's about you know four car lengths wide then you got another four car lengths wide and to our property. So who is splicing the ball? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Charlie. You just told me that you went golfing in that city. Shut up, Miles. Shut up. And you were talking about shut up. Shut up.

He said there was this crazy lady on her balcony yelling at you after you broke her window. You know, the funny thing is that's why I don't golf. I golf once a year and I hit a home run. That's where you hit home and you run. And unfortunately, this time, it was an apartment run. Wow. Bummer. Oh, boys. Oh, boys. Stop with your town fullery. You know it was you. So just fess up. Wow. How much do I owe you for the... It's not a big idea. It's not a big idea because I don't own the property. You know what I mean? That's true. That's true. Yeah, so I did it. So sorry about that. I apologize. Can I

have my ball back? Those are expensive. Yeah, actually, I still haven't on the, I, I'm not bullshit and I'll send you all over a pitcher. I still have it on my, uh, thing. Is it, just to make sure it's your ball, is it a practice four?

No, he, he still hasn't gotten those balls made yet. I know he didn't. Because you guys talked about him in a later issue. Yeah. I don't get some golf ball. Oh, yeah. And these aren't peach colored.

Oh, my God. Yeah, good memory. Oh, man. What else is grinding your gears? Oh, yeah. I went to the story the other day to grab a package of Cool Whip because I was making that yellow salad. You know the one with the cocktail, you know, you put the cocktail fruit stuff in it with

The marshmallows, the package. Oh, God, don't get me started on the jello. Oh, that is so good. Oh, it's in two packages now. Oh, kidding. And then you put some cottage cheese. Yeah, you put the cottage cheese in there. By the way, applause to you on your cooking, but the jello, it's taking you two jello packets not to make that.

They got to sell them, they cut it in half and they're selling it twice now? Yeah, because you've got to make smaller batches because he's gosh damn family. They don't know how to have farm kids. you got to get two packages to make a small stupid ass you know i'm trying to make you a nine by six pan or joe and i can't i'm pissed off for you yeah yeah that's terrible and it all starts with these gosh darn farm families not having enough kids yeah you got to get out there and and just spray and pray you know thank you max but charlie i think it's the chemicals I think they're putting a little more chemicals into, you know, the farms than they are into their weaners. Wow.

Okay. So more chemicals in the farms than the weanors. What kind of chemicals were people putting in their weeners back in the day? I'm actually not on this algorithm, not down this rabbit hole. You never read the Marshfield Times? Marshfield Times published it, the MSG report. All the hot dogs are bad. Okay, okay.

Hot dogs are bad. All right. Those are the weaners you're talking about. That makes more sense. That makes more sense. Hey, boy, keep your mind out of the gutter. We're not even done with the day. Oh, my Lord.

So anyways, let's get back. Let's get back to the fruit salad. Let's get back. to it yeah so i went to pick up the cool whip you know to get it put in my fruit salad yeah and as soon as i open my new tupperware lid broke come on how long have you had that tupperware the cool whip i just bought it up the cool oh my god you're not listening no i heard you say the cool whip container okay is the tupperware telly oh is the tupperware oh it's the tupperware oh it's the Tupperware. Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah, I wasn't doing it. Don't even get me started now, okay? Good Lord.

I heard you loud and clear. I was following the whole time. You know, what a tragedy that you cracked the Tupperware top, too. They're not making them like they used to. Did you even put it in the wash first or did it crack right off the gate? Right out the gate. I took that stupid plastic seal off so no one puts their finger in it. Yeah. You know? I'm saying I just literally I did you know an equal applied for both sides

you know some up cracked good Lord it was made in China you know they should

we got to bring those cool whip jobs back to America that is true the container jobs yeah the container cool whip container jobs bring them back here

um well that's If you heard me, my hand is pumping to my chest, and I believe it. We've got to bring that back. So I got just a real quick question. Would you be willing to give us your jello salad recipe? Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's easy.

Super, super easy. You just got to pick everything up at the store, but it might cost you $120, not a hundred and 20 cents. There's eggs in this recipe? Oh, you know what, Dan, near it. I should give you the banana split tort one. That would cost you $237. You could buy a lobster cheaper, you know. Stupid asses.

What's the big idea? All right. Well, so we're probably not going to get that recipe after all, huh? Well, what I just... Well, yeah. But I don't think we have time for the patience because, you know, you have to store it in the fridge, let it set up. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Dare I ask. You just want the rest of the out right. Dara. What else is grinding your gears? Well, the county's paving all the roads, so there's no more springs coming up in the middle, so I can't go mud bogging down the middle of the roads. anymore gosh darn it don't you hate it when that happens whatever happened to the natural springs i'm asking the same question you got a bunch of do-goaters out there saying we got to pave these roads

but do you no because the taxes go up and then the eggs go up and then you know soon enough the farmers can't drive down the roads having fun mud bogging and if the farmers don't have fun then they're not going to get late anymore and then we don't have any farmers having any kids anymore and you got to make jello in smaller quantities and there's still a lot of chemicals in these wieners and oh my god you guys are getting it we're going back to the days of dead yes yeah it's it's you know this world today we need we need you know what we need we need you in elected office i think I think we need to elect you queen. You darn betcha.

And the first thing of priority, first thing of priority is cut paved in roads because we need the money for other things. Like, sober cabs, hello. How are we supposed to get our husbands back from the bar safely? That's true.

Silver cabs? I think sober cabs? Oh, sober cabs. Sober cabs. funded by the government as opposed to the asphalt that heats up the sun dirty dogs yeah dirty dogs is right and then also we need you know fellas to come around and you know drink some lemonade or sweet iced tea if it's your suit and you know start doing things around the house so the women you know get a little randier oh wow that's that's that's

I did not know where I was going. That's what gets you going. A feller coming around doing stuff around the house, huh? Oh, yeah, you know, that flabby gut just hanging out with the belt trying to hold on. They say, hey, I got some under this package. I just can't fix it. What? So, describe to us your ideal male body.

What are you looking for? Oh, he's got to at least be, you know, five, six, just so he can hop up in his lifted truck. Got to be a lifted truck. So then when he gets up there, you hear his belly hit the steering wheel because his dumbass, stupid, and moron doesn't even realize there's a steering wheel lift. Should have lifted it up before he got out. But then again, men always don't think about that. And then I want to see his long-bearded.

hair flow in the wind when he gets up there okay it's not a lot to ask you know it's really not yeah um are you nope just a lifted truck in a lifted steering wheel that's all i'm asking and a lifted gut you got it all right there how did how did you lift how did you live in st louis park for 23 years oh my god oh max i'm going to tell you stories and We'll keep it short, but because we got to go sometime today because I still have to go to the liquor shop. So I would be sitting there. And so I went through college, everything, get all my good deeds for, you know, society being a 1980s child. You got to do some.

And then everybody would always say, how do you still talk like that? And I said to them, I says to them, I says, you know, a guy comes home. from Finland or something and he still talk like that why do I have to stop oh I got picked on so much where did you grow up

I got picked on so much oh over there by you know down there by Vivent oh down there prevent P&U yeah down you know I think it was who was it that saying that

orange tape the banana banana brothers or something they used to sing something about hunting and fishing and farming Oh yeah Yeah that one That song Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah

Oh no you know I got the beer singing I don't care what I'm fishing for Just give me an acre and a couple of o'er Because I got them spring fishing Blue is at large there we go there we go there it is at large oh okay i gotta tell you you're a catch are you taking uh i i'm i'm taking time out oh okay i just got done with some and he realized i was too

much oh all right all right so are you so you're just you're just you're not looking for a nothing now just taking time out yeah yeah yeah yeah not because i wanted it's because there's nothing available you know what i mean yeah what's got no big gutters up here told you nobody willing to come up you know fix the window that you guys broke nothing that should be our next our next dating app is something about Only guys with big guts. Guut guys. Guys with guts.

No, no. They have to have that beard. You know, that beard that flows in the wind when they're walking around. Yeah. That's what gets you going. Something to grab onto, you know? Well, you can only spread them for handlebars, but, you know, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know if I'm ready to. do the backside you know what i mean so let's let's stay missionary here charlie let's focus focus i'm not riding a big handled hog you know i didn't say you were i was just thinking about your jello salad that's all that's all it's creamy what did you say i said it's cream delicious It goes down with a few bush lights You know You just made me spit take my beer all over the bar

I'm sorry boys I'll try to be more appropriate Don't ever change Heavenly fodder Heavenly fodder for a sin I went on a podcast but two boys younger to me, and I made him choke. I didn't want to kill him, but I did.

What else are you doing today? Oh, well, see, I worked all week at the dairy because I stay true to my root, you know. Farm life is going to be. make you the best wife. That's right. And then so I stayed true to my roots and then they give me these days off once in a while. So I took the day off and I decided I was going to sit around the house and look at all the cleaning I had to do and wish that I had a nice strap and fat man sitting outside my wonder, but I didn't. So I decided to drink. What are you drinking? What did you drink your go-to well do i have money or don't i this day and age probably not okay so then i'm

doing milwaukee's best if i can find it on the shelf sometimes i have to go with the light even though i'm not trying to lose weight because trying to gain muscle not lose weight yeah yeah you've been you've been working out trying to gain some muscle or what? Charlie, I work at the dairy. Do you know how many pounds of the day I lift and how many paces I get? That was... That was Miles who asked that.

I would never ask such a question like that. Sorry, the Midwest fart in mind. I have a kid. So you have a child, you said? Yeah, I have one. She's a straight-a student. and she kind of talks like me but she's funnier oh wow how old is she your daughter oh my god charlie it's not a it's not a dating now

that's not why i was asking it's just polite conversation oh oh my bad yeah cool it leonardo I had Bernice Chinchak's husband come up to me and said, oh, that's a pretty little girl. I said, hey, fella, I know about you kind. And I had to walk away because. Don't put me in the same category as Bernice Chinchak's husband, okay? For God's sake, I was just.

Well, you can't see anything bad about them because they raise the winter hogs down in their basement. So you can't see nothing bad about them. We always had food all year long. That's true. That's true, I guess. I was just saying, they had chickens out in their pump. Okay, anyways, so, yeah, she's a seventh grader. I'm not going to divulge her age.

But, um, no, that's fine. That's, that's great. She, she advanced, so she's not as old as she should be. So, yeah. Oh, she's skipped a grade. She's skipped up a grade. she did she did they said they said this little bastard is not going to make it she is too smart for all these damn kids let's go good for her so what would you say i i have a little uh almost 10 month old

now and i'm about to get into the phase of life where i got to teach this kid how the world works and how to be smart in school what is the best parenting advice he can give me Buckle up. Okay. Here we go. Number one, you don't lie to your kid, okay? Okay. Okay.

You have to be on straightforward eye contact. Tell them where the bear shits in the woods. You tell them. Number two. I always talk to her in Spanish, French, and in English. Always. So she knows Spanish and she knows. knows how to count Spanish in 100.

She knows French in 100. She knows English in probably 20. I don't know. She never really speaks it. But just open their minds to different things. And don't watch that stupid, those other colored people that sit on the PBS with the big bellies and the stupid shapes on their head. Oh, the tell-in-tubbies?

I didn't. I did not know where we were going. I did not know where that was going. I was concerned for a minute there. I was concerned. Tell me, tell me. Don't subject her to that. Okay.

Or him, him. Sorry. Right? It's him? Yeah. Okay. So what you're going to do is start talking right now like they're an adult. Because that's what I did with her.

Because as soon as they start talking, you want them to start talking to you. Yeah. That's true. Also, it's his real baby. I can't. Oh, you got it. How'd you know. Please.

Don't do that. All right. So, Charlie is going to, you're going to give me a parenting lesson. Charlie is my kid. And you're going to, he just, you just got home from school. Let's stop. Let's just stop. He's in jail already.

I'm in jail already? What are you talking about? wait I have to give you parenting I'm in jail yeah I'm in jail so if Charlie

was a kid and he came home from school and said I got a C minus on my report card what are you going to say

to him Charles Broadway whatever how hard is it to turn in your fucking paperwork? Because you know that's what he was doing. He was just sitting there. Didn't fucking put his paperwork in.

Charles, what do you have to say for yourself? Any Spaniel or no? See? Oh, wow. In the French, it's French. It's French. I get French. I have a say in my report to cardo.

Cudo. Cudo. Oh boy. Oh, boy. You need to go back. You need to go back. Oh, you agree. So you know three different languages, huh?

Yes. And I know a sign language tool. And I'm doing it right now, but you can't see it because obviously we're on the telephone. Jared, what did I say? I want to teach my kid. What are the three languages? You wanted English, French, Spanish, and sign language. Wow.

That's what I said on a previous podcast. Look at this. You got your tutor right now. couldn't be more on board with your parenting style hang on did you live abroad i i i did jump and they laughed at me too where'd you live where'd you live i lived in uh i lived in france for six months and then i lived in uh spain nice wow how long in spain yeah oh i only did a three month tour and then i got sick of him Wow.

I just imagine those guys aren't really your style over there with the skinny jeans and, you know, working out and all that. Miles, we call them medrosexual. No. Got it. Thank you for clearing that up. They have their, they house their leers a little more tighter than I think they should. I like how she cleared her throat like she was. going to say it an innuendo and then just said weeners went for yeah so yeah they got their

they got their uh packages shrink wrapped over there yeah yeah and you know what happens i mean unless it's so fries in which yeah sometimes no but anyways it was a good fun it was a good fun time. Oh, in Yacht Miles, I would tell you that I did teach her how to speak sign language to me before she did talk. Yeah, that's what I'm in here. She was hungry. She would tell me like Apple or she would tell me to fuck off. I mean, whatever she wanted. How do you say fuck off? Oh, I know that one. Yeah, you don't say it. Yeah. Sign language. So. I know more. This is more. more, right? Yeah, I think like that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got picked on a lot because of my, my, my, my, my accent. But they did tell me when I lived in Spain that I had perfect diction. Wow. Nice diction. Yeah. I put the dick in, yep. She was just trying to work that in.

That was good. That was good. No, no, no, no, I'm just sorry. No, actually, they do say I have perfect diction when I talk Spanish. Well, that's really great. Were you just out there for men or were you working out there? Working. Are you in the CIA?

Wish. I'd come over there right now and bust you in. Buss me in. Well, no, I, no, I, I was, I was very fortunate. I, when I, um, I left home early and when I, when I left my mom and dad's house, it wasn't, you know, it was, it was a good time, but, you know, it's small town. cousin was hitting on me kind of small and I decided that I needed to move to the Twin Cities so I moved out there and then I started in with

culinary school so I got really smart I guess I don't know so yeah so yeah I got a full ride over to France to study with mistling or chef so yeah wow that's awesome so you got some really good jello salad is what you're telling us

oh if you got the right marshmallows you'll have the right salad telling you not those tiny ones you can't get those tiny ones that's good life advice you can't get that you can't get that jiffy pop stuff

that's too fake right now you need to go in for the hard sugar one. The hard sugar, like our family or best value. Yeah. Full gelatin. Yeah, well, jello, J-E-L-O-Nol. Well, this has been really nice chit-chatting with you. Oh, yeah, you know, anytime.

Hey, by the way, I just was going to talk to guys. about what do you guys got coming up now. Well, I know you're going to be up here. Yeah, we'll be up there soon yet still. And then we'll be around there at that this summer at some point. Yeah.

We'll be up. We'll be up. And then the fall we're going up there. Yeah, we'll probably. Yeah, we'll be. You keep an eye out. We'll be around, you know. Yeah.

Okay. I'll let you know when I get off probation Maybe I'll come in to you I can't just go Really million around this whole country You know Yeah But you can go to the liquor store

That was so dumb of us That was so dumb of us to assume She could travel outside of the same You too boys You two guys You guys are silly Okay Well I was just kind of say

You're a hoot and a howl Are you stay in touch now Okay. Well, you know my phone number. I got yours. But anyways, you two fellas, you take it easy. And by the way, your mom, she called me the other day, Charlie. Try your fucking paperwork in.

Oh, my God. Question, answered. Charlie's real problem in schools that he was cheating off of me and so that's how you got to see minus. I picked the wrong person to cheat off. You can't pass that one, Miles, because you're out in the middle of nowhere, Fargo. No, you can't pass that one out. No, you're right. You didn't meet Charlie until about a few years ago.

Come on, man. Stay up with your dance. But boys, listen, there's a lot of trash pandas out there right now, okay? So watch out for the trash pandas. and you know the dish chickens are out too because it's nice but most of all those fucking ears

watch all for them fucking ears all right real good tell your folks I says hi yes please do oh no need to they'll call me

I'll tell them I says hi free yeah I suppose well you be good now hey now let me tell you no more thing before we go Yeah, what is it? You go out and get a package of that cool whip, and you tell me I'm not wrong. We'll get that cool whip, and we'll make sure that it comes off nice and good.

Otherwise, we got to start a revolution in the cool whip manufacturing. We got a problem with big container. Oh, and that country crock, too, that country crack. Country crock, you can't go wrong with that one. That seals a little nicer than the cool whip on the leftovers. Yeah, but they wish on that stupid. rectangle oh i know i know just bring back the circle for god's sake give us what we're used to and also start putting coffee back in a can again what was wrong with a can oh my god no because we

you know do watch these videos on these other countries they put them in bags now and they sell it to in these bags one-time news but you still got put in a fucking cop yeah right no that's what I'm saying like what was wrong with the uh the the tin can coffee you know because then afterwards you got a good screw jar you try putting not even that you know because the raffles are coming up here because it's spring yeah and you got you know the the hunter raffle you got the bow raffle everything down at the vfW everything they're going to need a coffee fucking can they are so what am i am i going to have to have my daughter go back to paper machine i mean you might have to at this point you know oh that you know that that won't last over all that beer still

no i i don't think so it'll slop up pretty good but there's nothing that feels better in slapping down a nice hard tin coffee can on the deal it feels sturdy and everything you try doing that with the plastic ones just think you know people aren't thinking about these things break at the bottom yeah they do oh boy you know what you're going to have to call me back i'm getting thirsty um just you know call me back later we'll we'll talk about more plastic shit like the stupid milk jugs oh that's a whole other can of worms right there well it's not a can well it's a it's a jug of worms well anyway you be good all right no you take care drive safe and watch out for those trash panders we will

We'll be looking out for them, okay? Hey, hey, keep your trash cans on tighter, though, you know? Because they can get in there. You leave a little gap. They got fingernails. They'll get it up. Oh, you know, I got this stupid ass bear that lives in my town. Yeah.

A bunch of them. Yeah. And they tip over my stupid garbage can all the time. You know, yeah. You got to outsmart them a bit. And you set up a little. a little box for it with and you put uh some bricks on the side and they're not going to be able push it over then yet or you get an actual dumpster and put a lock on it they're they're hip

to you no way Jose I'm carrying out six trash bag do you think I want to sit and put it down with shit all over my hands and unlock it lock well I'm just saying they need to learn their place well and then you better teach them their place you get the BB gun I'm gonna sit up all night Yeah. Well, I think... I got the hand-tacked one. The thing about a BB gun and a bear is you're just going to piss it off. And then it's going to be mad at you and they can climb. That's okay. Bring it on.

I got that guy out there doing the front deck. Remember? Oh, yeah. She's about as big as a bear. Also, you kind of have built-in protection at your place because there's always golf balls flying into it. So good luck, Bear. That is true. Yeah.

And I'm going to send you over a picture. to golf ball, and I'm going to paint it pink just for you, Charlie, and say it was yours. Please do. That would be nice. Well, I suppose you better get into the liquor shop. We got to keep her moving here on taking some more callers, so. Yeah, and I got to go take a nap to get over my drunk before my daughter gets home. All right.

Yeah, sounds good, guys. Have a good one. We'll see you soon. Keep it up. We will. You too. I think that was my first ever spit take on this podcast. She was on another level.

I mean, if we didn't stop her, it could have been the whole episode. Could have been. Well, I tried to not stop her. And she, first, we exchanged Midwest goodbyes three times. She wanted to go. Then we wanted to go. And then she wanted to go. Watch out for the fucking deer.

The trash pandas. Okay, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now. Oudaloo.