Bellied Up - Billion People Might Be Mad At Us #161

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

We're at Sluggers in Chicago in the heart of Wrigleyville! Our first caller shares a wild story involving chickens, toddlers, and a tragic dog incident… then drops the bomb that he’s married to a sourdough-making Mormon hippie. We dive into Mormon beliefs, myths, caffeine rules, and more. Then, our second caller is hit with heavy Catholic guilt from her religious grandma (aka her “Busha”). Plus, a voicemail suggests a brutally honest new holiday where everyone tells the truth — no matter what.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the bellied up podcast starts a new miles is cracking a beer. I am here. We are here. So Luggers bar, ladies and gentlemen in Wrigleyville, Chicago behind enemy lines for me. I can see the famous Wrigley field sign from here, right? From where I'm sitting, Charlie. Wow. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. It's really great bar. And it does pain me to admit that being a Chicago institution. But, you know, miles Chicago, it's it's it's a fun city.

It's a fun town. You know, they got a lot of great things here. They've got, you know, it's beautiful people, nice restaurants nice, uh, restaurants, Michelin star, uh, night clubs, the whole deal, the whole nine, you know, a bunch of professional teams, but, um, in Milwaukee, we got a lot of parking miles. So, you know, you can't, you, you gotta take the good with the bad. It is one thing being in Fargo that you do take for granted is how easy it is to park in, in a town that's of 150,000 people. I know, I know. And the buildings, I feel like they got McDonald's taller than

your tallest building. That is probably true. That is very true, Charlie. Yeah. But you're having a good time in Chicago. I think we're having a good time. Yeah. Yeah. Sluggers is cool. Cause they just don't make bars like this anymore. You'll never see it. They got a whole batting cage back there, which we might have to get some cuts in. That's one thing like sports wise. I feel like I can hold my own and be good enough in most sports. I cannot put the bat on the ball. Really? You weren't much of a baseball player growing up. I would pitch pitch. Okay. Okay. But as soon as I got in the batter's box, I just, there's a disconnect

between the barrel, the bat and the ball. Well, that's going to be a problem. Were you, your big whiffer then you were, you were big in whiffer ball? Yeah a lot of a lot of like ground out to the shortstop. Okay well you made contact then. Just never could put it on the never could hit a clean liner. Yeah. No line drives. I get that. Think about hitting a dinger. I was pretty good at baseball myself until one time I got hit in the jaw with a ball and then I got a little scared. And I think that I got the yips. Is that what you call the yips? Yeah, I was decent at baseball until the ball started curving. As soon as the ball looked like it was going someplace and then went another, I was like, I can't, I can't

do this. This is where, this is where I'm out. This is where I'm going to go play quarterback. Were you a good pitcher or just an adequate pitcher? That was pretty good. You look like an intimidating pitcher, like a middle school, like, you know, I could just throw it harder than other kids. Do you have a beard in middle school? Probably eighth grade. I could probably grow. Yeah. Nice. But I started getting facial hair for sure. Did you? Yeah. I did the old chin strap at one point. Really? Wow. I want to pull up some pictures of that tough look. But Charlie, I actually found a video that I, last night while I was laying in my, so when you travel with a kid, cause I got

my kid with, he goes to bed at eight 30. And when you're all in the same hotel room, that means you also are in bed at eight 30. So I spent about two hours scrolling on my phone. That's good for your sleep. Yep. And I found a video that I think you're really going to like. Okay. And Jared's going to show it to you here. OK. OK. Oh, look at this. This is a home. All right.

Oh. It's a swipe. Me in a high stack. Under stick. Wow. Oh, wow. That is wonderful. Oh, what. Oh, yeah, that is wonderful. Oh, what's it going to get?

Missed. Shoot. Let's see it. Oh, yeah. Could be at the back. Absolutely. You're at the back. Yeah, that blues. Oh, my gosh. Get it.

Get it. Look, you get it. Shit. One more time. Nothing. Damn. The persistence. You get it. Shit. One more time. Nothing. Here. The persistence. There.

Yes. Oh. Go and eat it. What is he getting? Oh, that's a big one. Yeah. Oh, man. That's a bass minnow.

Come ahead first. Proving me wrong is going down tail first. That's not good. Sorry. I can't stay down here. Tail first that's not good This guy's my hero That is amazing. So there's a guy camouflage Ghillie suit style in a haystack next to a pond. And then he must've stuck a stick

in the middle of the pond and he was bird watching and just making an erotic experience. And I figured that's probably what you're like. I mean, I'm you call it an erotic experience. And I was wondering if you could see underneath this bar we had here. But I'm glad you thought that as well. Cause man, Oh man, Oh man, that was cool. And for those that are listening, you did not see the guy at the end when he said that was extraordinary. He like bit his lip. No, did he? Sexual like, huh? It's weird. Yeah. Those birds were getting him, getting him, you know, I was seeing some extra straw growing.

He also, uh, he said, Oh, going to, he's going to go head first. And then he says, he's proving me wrong. Going tail first. That's not good. I wonder why that is. Yeah. Well, yeah, because I had you got more control. You know, what's funny is the camera guy also had to be in a haystack as well. Across the pond or a long lens. Maybe a long lens. Great work on the people do that in the birdwatching

community. They just cover themselves in a hay next to a pond and watch birds fish. I mean, that's intense. They do it in the hunting community. You know, they that's like a duck hunting thing. You get covered up in something. I understand that, but that's cause they're trying to kill the birds. True. But I mean, same concept, get as close as possible, be part of them. It's amazing what birds do when nobody's watching, you know, like imagine yourself when nobody's watching, it's a completely different experience than when people are around. Like there was this one time I put a camera in, in your office and what you do in there,

nobody's looking miles. Picking my nose. You know, I mean, yeah, we'll start with that. Um, no, it's pretty cool. Yeah. People do that. There's also this guy that came up with this cool invention where he's got a face mask on it. He's got like three hummingbird feeders on the face mask. So he gets to just sit, sit really still. You see that one? Yeah. It's pretty sweet. I might make that for my dad at some point. He's not going to like it and then I'll get to use it. So that's the trick. If you want to, if you want something, but you want to, don't want to justify the time it takes you to make it, make it for

someone else, make sure they don't like it and then you can use it. How far away are you from being the guy in full camo in a haystack? Uh, jerking it in miles, miles, miles, miles. Come on now. How come on now? I'm not going to be, uh, I'm not going to be, you know, participating in any self fornication when birds are involved or I respect them too much. That's probably true. Those are those are mental photos for later. Sure. Yeah. I'll put some in the bank. Those are those are modern day dinosaurs. They deserve respect. Okay. So we got, we got another good episode. We do got another good episode. We had sluggers, skuggers, and tonight we're doing our first ever alive bellied up. Yeah. Are you nervous? I'm a little nervous about what you're going to do, but why? Well,

like what, what, why? No, I think it'll be fun. It's going to be different than like a stand up show because stand up show, you know, you're banking on you're banking on knowing what you're doing here. It's more of like an improv thing. You know, it's a lot will depend on the energy of the audience. So what we're going to want to do off the top is just facilitate that as much as possible. Good thing I'm not going to try a bunch of new material right off the top. So we'll see if that even hits. That's what you're going to do. If it bombs, I'll just do stuff that works. But yeah, I'm testing some new material out. You didn't answer my question. You said you were worried about what I'm going to do. And what do you mean by that? What do you think I'm going to?

Well, Miles, when we were sitting here preparing to do it, you were talking about possibly doing the wave, crowd surfing. I didn't say I would crowd serve. I said, if the vibe is right, I would think about crowd serve. Okay, well, we're just gonna have- At a 140 person show.

Hey, it can be done. It can be done, but they're not standing there sitting. So chances are you're, I said, if the vibe is right, if we get, if everyone's standing, then I will. We should, I honestly, I, the more we talk about that, the more interested I am in that situation. Do you like the idea that this is not a standup show, but it's also not really a podcast that it's kind of just going to be whatever it is and that anything could happen. Anything could happen. Anything that's what, you know, you're what gets you excited is birds. When you're

sitting in a haystack, I think the idea that anything could happen at this show, you know, it's got me going a little bit. You know what? Whatever gets you going miles, whatever. What is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you at a show? I did actually in this city have someone come up and show the whole crowd their ass. Yeah. They were showing off a tattoo on their ass. That happened to me at a business conference. Really? Yeah. Why did they show them you your ass? Well, I, I, I don't know how we got onto it, but, um, the coworkers are telling me they were shouting out this one guy's got an ass tattoo. Oh, same deal. But he got it on a first date with a girl. They got matching as tattoos. And I don I remember what the actual name it was.

It was a drawing of a cat and there was a name on it. Let's just say like, you know, Sarah and, but the girl he wanted to date with his name wasn't Sarah. So it was just a random name that they got on there. That's wild. Are they still together? I'm sure you asked. No. Did they last? How many dates? I don't know if it lasted two dates or not. Did he have multiple tattoos or was this his first tattoo? I think it was his first man alcohol involved. I had probably. Yeah. It was in Wisconsin. So, oh really? Yeah. Alcohol was involved. Yeah. That's a very Wisconsin story right there. Yeah. Well, cool.

Well, we'll see. We'll see if anyone in the audience has asked hats. We won't know until we know, you know, or no. Yeah. Yeah. Well, should we start off taking some callers here? See what the folks have to say? Let's do it.

All right. Dallin, it's me, Charlie, and this is Miles. And, um, we're calling you, man. You're belly up to the bar with us. You're on the bellied up podcast. Well, swell. Good to talk to you fellas. How are y'all? Super swell. Good. I think you're the first to Dallin I've ever met. There's not a lot of us. Where does, where does the name Dallin come from? Dallin? Oh, it's Irish. Oh, are we pronouncing it right? Dallin come from? Dallin? Oh, it's Irish. Oh, are we pronouncing it right? Dallin or is it Dallin? You got it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Allen with a D. No, I like that.

It's like a cross between Dylan and Allen. Yeah. Dallin. Dallin. I'll tell you, I answer phones all day for work and the typical thing that I get is, Hey, thanks for calling. This is Dallin. And they go, Hey, Dallas. So listen, I got this. I go, yeah, I don't correct them. You know? Yeah. It's not worth it at that point. No. Well, well, Dallin, I heard that you are having some trouble with some animals over there. You got animal problems. I feel bad for you, son. You got 99 problems, but I tell you what, it's You got 99 problems, but. I tell you what, it's making me weary. What?

I don't know how much more I can take. What? What's going on, Dallen? I got chickens dropping left and right. We're losing chickens at a rate of about four per month. I only got enough to last me through July. Oh my, what's going on? Is it the bird flu? Uh, could be coyotes. Well, we do

have a lot of coyotes. I live out in the desert in Arizona. Well, that's your problem. That's what happens when you go cage free Charlie. Yeah. I don't tell you that. It's electrolyte imbalance. It's, I don't know. I don't know. There's a lot to it. It's beyond that. My kids killed my neighbor's dog, which is really strange relationships. Yeah. Dylan, let's let's dig into that. We're talking blunt force trauma. We talk and strangling, you know, we talking with a BB gun. Arsenic, what happened? Um, so we get a note the other day. We, uh, so my wife's pregnant. We had told a couple of the neighbors and she finds a note on the door the other day.

And she thinks that somebody saying congratulations or here's some cookies or something. Not even close. Not even close. It's just the neighbor saying, Hey, your kids, there's some toys over the fence. My dog ate it and died. Oh, wow. Whose fault is that? That's going to happen. You know, I mean, my, my brother's dog eats pacifiers. Oh, you told me that. Yeah. He's a nookie dog. Yeah. At some point, how many surgeries are you going to give this dog to get the press fires out? What toy did it? Was it a Lego? Well,

I'll tell you what he goes, you know, I go over and to chat with him and I'm just as apologetic as possible. He goes, yeah, yeah, we went to the vet and she's dying. She's almost dead. And she threw something up. It was like, uh, like a gingerbread man looking toy. Do you know if you guys had one of those? And I was like, no, yeah, I don't know. But I mean, I knew exactly what he was talking about. A gingerbread man looking toy. Yeah. Some kind of action figure or something like stretch Armstrong or what? I don't know, but I knew exactly which one he was talking about. My kids definitely do that on the fence. Oh man, that sucks. That sucks.

Well, he's just launching toy landmines for the neighbors. Tog over the fence. He throws them back is the thing the neighbor does. So the kids think it's a game. I think, oh, I think it's a game. I think it's a game. I think it's a game. I think it's a game.

I think it's a game. I think it's a game. I think it's a game. I think it's a game. I think it's a game. land mines for the neighbors dog over the fence. He throws them back is the thing the neighbor does. So the kids think it's a game. I think how old that is. Then yeah. 13, 14. I have no, I have twin boys and they're two years old. Oh, well, terrible twos, man. Two year olds and dogs. they never go well. You know, my nephew, he was pulling the dog's tail and the dog, you know, fought back and we had to get rid of them. And I miss my nephew. But, um, you know, it's it's how it goes.

That's a bummer. So what'd you do? How do you how do you make that up to your neighbor? Because he knows that it's your kid, you know, and, you know, what do you even do? Do you bring them like a six pack? What what what solves a dead dog situation after consuming a toy gingerbread? I brought him a dozen eggs. That's all I can do. And that's a lot considering your chicken problem. I don't buy him a new dog. Yeah. That's it. You showed up with a dozen eggs. You killed the guy's dog. Your spawn killed

the guy's dog and you showed up with a dozen eggs. Showed up with a dozen eggs and a heavy heart. I didn't know what else I could do. Okay. So you got dogs dying, chickens dying. You got anything else dying? Well, yeah. Rodents. When you have chickens, you got rodents. So we got traps and poison out plenty of rodents because they love the chicken food oh yeah rats yeah got my little Charlotte going well I'm gonna be honest I've never heard of a vole I don't think we have those here where are you from Arizona oh that's right Jared's listening yeah he said yeah daddy scorpions down there all the time, dude. You ever go, you ever go scorpion hunting? My parents bought a house that had been vacant for a year. It must have been on a nest or something. They moved in. They found a hundred

in the first month. Oh damn. How would you sleep with that? Cause those things, I mean, it's right. Like they they get you. You got to what's the protocol? Do they have like an Epi pen for do they have a squirpy pen or something there? It's far as I'm aware, they can't really do anything. I'll tell you, though, my buddy, he does construction. Big, burly, 250 pound guy, six foot something, you know, he goes, I was at work and got stung

on the hand. He goes, I was down for 24 hours. I had to go home. Just miserable hand throbbing, you know, radiating up and down. They tell you to take some Benadryl. That's like all the, well, you're actually supposed to just pee on it right away to make sure that it doesn't get worse, right? That's a jelly. Oh, it's a jelly. Has he tried it? I, you pee on it right away to make sure that it doesn't get worse. Right. That's a jelly. Miles. Oh, it's a jelly. Has he tried it? You pee on yourself for every ailment, dude. And it's awkward for the rest of us.

You stubbed your toe the other day and it does take the sting out of mosquito bites. I've tried it. I just think you like the feeling at this point. Well, maybe some merit to that next time I get stung I will try it Have you been stung have you been stung Yeah, a couple times. It's um, I don't think they got me as good as they got my friend But it's when I got stung it was kind of like a bee pretty similar to that but his must have been a baby scorpion or I don't know what got him but damn or maybe he's allergic.

Yeah well they must not I always was under the impression that if a scorpion stings you you're a goner you know like remember that one James Bond movie where it starts with him on the beach and he's got a Scorpion that he's fighting on his hand or did I just hallucinate that do you guys remember that one? Not a big I I'm not I'm not well-inverse in the bond universe Someone out there knows what I'm talking about Anyways, I was under the impression that these were more venomous than but perhaps that's like a South American one or something. Maybe. Yeah. The ones we've got here, if you're really old or really young, I think is the

risk. Okay. All right. Well, we'll learn some new every day. So did you call us to wonder what you should do about your chickens? I just got to get this all off my chest. Okay. So much. The real problem is that I married a hippie. You know what I mean? Let's get into it. Okay. Let's get into it. What's it like marrying a hippie? Well, you don't know at first is the thing you think you're setting out for a normal life. And then she's like, I got to make sourdough. We're gonna make a lot of sourdough. Okay. And she goes, and why don't we have chickens? We need chickens. They, okay. And she says, and like a hundred kids, I go, Oh my gosh, what are we doing?

And we're going to start having the kids at home. Like, yeah. Oh my God. When does it stop? Did you do a bathtub birth? I think we will here in December. The next kid. Well, you might have two kids. You've already got twins and I think you can just keep going down the line. Oh please. I don't know if you take it. So what else I cut you off there? What kind of hippie we talking like no deodorant armpit hair, a lot of tie dye. You guys go to the reggae festival. Like what kind of hippie are we talking here? You guys do your

honeymoon in Jamaica. You guys weren't drug rugs in the winter. She have dreadlocks. Let's start from the head and work our way down. You know, does she wear, does she wear shoes? You know, he's barefoot quite a bit. Okay. I said start from the head down. Dreadlocks. No, we're talking like anti-government, anti-establishment hippie. Yeah. No vaccines in this house. That's kind of like, she's kind of like Jenny on Forrest Gump then a little bit like that. Sure. Minus the being a negligent mother part. Yeah. Well, I'll just say, does that make you force gum spoiler alert by the way man oh man so you guys got the measles yet or we'll see I heard there's an outbreak in Texas. I think we're saying,

Hey you guys, your kids gotta be covered in essential oils by now. We love the lavender. Oh, the deep blue guy. Is she a crystals type of hip, of course she is dude. She's got him resting in the sun right now. No, we're way too Christian for that. That would be very rare. So yeah, you guys are like nearing cult territory. Yeah. Yeah. What's the Kool-Aid place like over there? You know, it's like hippies alone, not a cult Christian's not a cult, but when you combine the two gets very culty behavior. Yeah. You know, Christian hippies. Yeah. Yeah. What's okay. What's the best part? So you've given us, you know, some of that down. What's the best part about, you know, being married to a hippie, the best part? So you've given us some of that down. What's the best part about being married to a hippie?

The best part about being married to a hippie? Well, I brought up the sourdough. She makes a lot of great bread. Oh, that's good. She's into the home cooking, lots of great sourdough loaves. The chickens are nice, the chickens are fun. The kids like them a lot. They take a lot of abuse from the kids. I have half a mind to think that half the chickens are dying

because of the abuse they suffer at the hands of my children. Yeah. I'm starting to think that now too, since they murdered the dog. Yeah. The hardest part about that is having to look them in the eyes every day and know that we've got a couple of cold blooded killers in my house. Well, I don't, yeah, I don't want to put this on you, but we're near, how often do your kids wet the bed? Well, they're in diapers still miles. Okay.

So we don't know the jury's still out, but we're nearing the homicidal. We're nearing the homicidal triad cruelty to animals, wetting the bed and being, uh, obsessed with lighting things on fire. Do they like fire? No, no, they don't care for fire. All right. Yet yet. Are they in cloth diapers? No, no. Fortunately. Oh my word. Are they going to be breastfed until they're 10? Oh my word. Are they going to be breastfed until they're 10? It's likely. We had, we had someone like that in our family and at the,

we were younger and we, someone was calling the kid num nums. Cause that's what he would say to his mom when he wanted some, but he was like standing to the faucet. It was like, yeah. So, you know, we're a little bit more discreet, I think. Yeah. But that's, that's an interesting vibe. Yeah. The kid had to sit down on a chair in order, in order to reach the nipple, you know, she's like, all right, Ben down so you can have some food.

This might be too long. Oh, well no, no. Hey, I got a question for you. Were you a hippie before meeting your wife? Goodness? No, no. And I'm not fully converted. I just, um, yeah. So you still believe in McDonald's and a cruelty full, uh, testing and stuff like that. You know, you're, you're against free trade. So what you have McDonald's not 10 minutes ago. Yeah. Are you sneaking your kids off to the doctor when she's not looking like give them the tetanus shot and we got a lot of rusty shit around the chicken coop. Give them the tetanus honey. I'll take the kids to school and he slaps deodorant on them before they leave. You're like, he can't be the sticky kid at school. I love

you so much. Put this on. I care about your social standing. Yeah. You guys have bamboo towels. Oh man. That doesn't seem like it would dry you very well. I don't even know what that means. Yeah. I don't know. What's the hippiest. So are you like, did she become hippie when you got married or, or yeah, how did she cloak and dagger you on the hippies thing. What was she like before you got married and maybe you're the problem. That's a fair assessment. No, she kind of was. Yeah, no. She got it all from her mom who, who growing up told them, I think that all the food in the gas station was poisonous. I mean, that's true. Anything with red. Well, yeah, but I'm delicious poison. Anything with red. Well, yeah, but I'm delicious poison. Anything with

red food dye. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, that's true. I mean, yellow five, the yellow five drinks your wiener. So we all knew that. We all knew that. So let's just say I've drank a lot of Mountain Dew in my time. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. So she like was the starting factor and then your wife has just taken it to another level, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. And I just, I didn't, I didn't know what I was getting into, you know? And it's like, it's like poisoning by degrees, you know, it's just like little by little. Have you heard the analogy? It's like, if you put a frog in a boiling pot of water, he'll jump out immediately. You put a frog in a room temperature pot of water and slowly turn up the temperature. He doesn't know when to jump out. That's kind of what I'm, you know, I look around at my life now. I go, Holy smokes.

Like it's creeping up on me all around. I can't stop it. I don't know what to do about it. That's like how they used to hunt gazelles. They wouldn't chase them down and try and shoot them. They would, uh, put a board out in the middle and put some food there. The gazelle would go eat and then walk away. And the next day they put another board and then they keep coming back for food

and they add a board every time until finally the gazelle just walked right into the trap and they pulled the thing and caught the, caught the gazelle. You just bait them. It's like what the robots are doing with us right now, guys. We, um, you know, the other week we're, we're getting new chickens all the, all the time. Our replacement rate has to be equal, you know, the other week we're, we're getting new chickens all, all the time. Our replacement rate has to be equal, you know, to our loss rate. We get some new chickens.

Are you familiar with chicken sexing? It sounds illegal in most States, but go on. That's no, no, no, no, no. You misunderstood chicken sexing. Yep. Go on. It's really hard to tell if a, if a, if a chick is a rooster or a hen. And so they make their best guess and sell them to you as hens. But half of them end up being roosters anyway. So the other day I'm having this dream, the craziest dream I've ever had where my wife is growing.

That's cause he went to, he went to bed, you know, all the like incense and a weed they did before bed gave some of her Morel mushrooms. Yes. Wait, tell us about this dream. Now are you, are you about to tell me that you were banging a rooster in your dream? No, no, no, no. You're muddling up my words. All right. Sorry. I'll let you talk. No, I have a dream that my wife is crowing at me like a rooster. It's like five in the morning and I wake up. It's not my wife at all. She's asleep. It's one of the chickens is a rooster. We're finding out right now and is crawling his head off.

And I mean, I got neighbors, I don't wanna hear him. So it's in my best interest to put a stop to this immediately. So I'm running around the backyard in my underwear trying to grab the chicken rooster, I now know. Stumble across a snake while doing that. So it's just, it's just mayhem. The rooster does not want to be caught. I'm chasing them all over the place. My wife is trying to deal with the snake. She's up at this point as well. Is this still the dream stir? No, no, no. This is all happening for real now. Cause

the snake sounds very phallic. You're also nice job saying that you dream about your wife. Yeah. That's good save after calling her a hippie. Her wife is crawling like a rooster. So you guys had chicken for dinner that night or no? We sent them to a farm. Is that what you told your kids? Just throw them over the fence to the, yeah, to the dog who eat anything. Yeah. Yeah. Well, not anymore. Rest in peace. That dog doesn't exist. Yeah. He's gone. So the chicken goes in the laundry room, pick, put the snake in a pillow case and take them out to the desert. Um, at present the situation is under control, but we got more chicks that might end up being, so you got chickens in the laundry room. I

don't know. I don't understand how you live. I, I can't wrap my head around what's going on. It sounds like you're in a suburban neighborhood, but it also sounds like you're in the middle of nowhere. I'm, you know, do you live in a tent or do you live in a house? Do you, you know, are you a hippie or are you not? I I'm very confused. Is your name Dylan or is it Alan? I I'm so confused. What your name Dylan or is it Alan? I'm so confused. What's going on right now? Do you live in a community or a commune for short?

It's my life, boys. You just get to hear about it. You do live in a commune. How many wives do you have I Can barely handle the one yeah No, no, no Okay, so do you guys work? What do you guys do for a living? I'm a I'm a pool man by trade. So I

you could have given me a 100,000 guesses on what he did for a living and I would have never have gotten pool man I don't even know what a pool man is. I'm are you are you a pool man or a pool boy? I'm a man. Okay. I know you're a man, but when you show up to work, are you a pool boy or a pool man? Who are you? The pool and a speedo for a tip. Well, yeah, sure. What does a pool man do? Like you clean pools, you install pools. Yeah. Yeah. We, um, service and maintain repairs and upgrades, stuff like that. About a third of the houses in Phoenix have a concrete pool.

So there's tons and tons of work. Yeah. Are you putting them in? No, no, we don't do the construction side. We do all the maintenance that's required thereafter. Does your wife, does your wife ever say, so what kind of clients do you have? She's left to wonder sometimes. I'm pretty transparent though. About what she could take my picture. Really? She said, so I can show my friends. I said, show your friends what she said. I'll give you $10. And I said, okay, nice. Hey, those roosters aren't going to

pay for themselves. Tell you what. So you gotta be a pretty jack guy. Like I don't imagine you got a body like a bag of milk and the ladies wanting to take a photo of you. That's fair to say I was a younger man. Then it was a couple of years ago. Okay. That was your prime before he got, that was when he was a pool boy. Now he's a poor man. He became a poor man when the dog ate the gingerbread man. That's when that's when the pool boy turned into a poor man. He went to work a little bit more haggard that day. So what does your wife do? My wife, she does hair and that adds up, you know, just a different kind of crazy, Charlie. Yeah. Not your, not your classic key, your car and smoke a cigarette and you

know, start a cat fight with another woman, but still you just a different type of crazy. The number of hairdressers we get that right into this podcast upset with miles is depiction of them Yeah Actually, yeah, you have pissed off an entire class of women And there are also male hairdressers. How's your wife a hairdresser? There's a lot of chemicals in that business What's she putting in the hair to make it stick? I think she There's some cognitive dissonance there probably

She just kind of ignores that for the sake of the job Mmm, and then goes, you know back to normal as soon as she's off the clock, I think her normal, I guess. Is our psychedelics a part of your life? No marijuana. No. That's where the Christian takes over. You're getting the worst parts of the hippie movement. The no vaccine, 22 kids. You guys are going to be sick with chickens. You know? Oh my gosh. Should rethink that. Yeah. Now we're going to get all the anti-vaxxers hitting me up. What kind of Christians are you guys? Strong ones. Oh, what do you? They don't have a denomination. This is just the hippie

version. You guys are non-denomers. You got to what's what church do you go to twist and shout no church of Jesus Christ over here. Oh, latter day saints. You got it, man. Oh, okay. That is what's what's the best part of being a, what are those again? That's, um, open, not open stay. That's Catholic. What, what do you call the latter day saints? What, what's the name of that? Well, we're commonly known as Mormons. Oh, you're a Mormon. That's Mormons. Oh, yeah. I didn't realize Mormons were Christians. Is that really dumb? Me Mormons? Yeah. I just never really thought about it. What's the difference? So you believe Jesus like lives in Utah or Joseph's what?

Joseph's grandma was oh is Joseph Smith like Jesus is what cousin what's going on? What no, we think Joseph Smith was a prophet, you know, like Paul like Paul. Yeah. Oh, are you talking Paul? Are you talking Saul? Saul was bad, right? It's the same guy. So same dude, same dude. Just, and then he got blinded and he was like, I'm Paul now. And they're like, no, you just can't read dude You're you're still Saul Okay, so Joseph Smith, where was he from again? New York from New York. All right, so he's a prophet from New York no big ego on that guy and

so he started the Mormon deal and then The latter-day Saints. Oh, I get it So it's like not a former day saint both later on. Okay, so Joseph Smith's and no I'm serious I'm do you like caffeinated beverages? I'm drinking dr. Pepper right now. Okay, so just but they can only be cold. No coffee that better not be a warm doctor Dr. P Yeah, yeah, we don't drink coffee. Yeah. Okay. But if what about ice coffee? I've never had nice coffee. Um, so, but, but

you can only have, wait, no, I have more follow up questions. You can, the rule is you can drink caffeine if it's cold, right? Yeah, I mean there's like some health guidelines that we choose to follow that includes not drinking coffee or tea But it doesn't exclude caffeine altogether. I should say so But coffee and tea are have some health benefits. So I don't know. So it does not trying to pull calls in the situation here. I'm just looking for clarification. I know what I told you, man. I don't know. He's just a mess. He's just enjoying a nice Dr. Pepper on a warm day. He called him to relax, not to get 11 degrees guys. So is there, you know, what's it like right now in the Mormon community? Cause I feel like Mormons have

been kind of taken on the chin lately. There's like the whole documentary about the Mormon family vloggers that ended up in jail and all of that. Yeah. Well, what's the, what's the, the temperature in the room for the Mormons right now? It's hot in my house, but it's 111 degrees outside in general though. Oh, you mean like how's the, how's the vibe at church? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I mean Miles and I are both Catholic so we had a rough go in the early 2000s you know is it kind of like that? Yeah but I mean when individual members of a religion I

think are screwing up it's a little bit easier to overlook it or go well you know. Yeah I mean where there's, there's fire though. So, well, miles, you don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater and that'll come in handy for you come December. Well said my friend. Well said. Who's more? Did you grow up Mormon or is this again? I can't.

Oh, you did. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Your wife also Mormon? Yeah, we met at church actually again? Oh, you did. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And your wife also Mormon? Yeah, we met at church actually. Oh, there you go. I mean, you guys give me the vibe that you're like the chill Mormons. You're not like the insane Mormons, you know, accurate. Yeah. I mean, what does an insane Mormon look like to you or what?

Your family shunning you if you don't marry another Mormon. like to you or what they do your family shunning you if you don't marry another Mormon yeah that probably wouldn't happen if I'd married somebody that wasn't we probably still be invited to dinner and stuff but no Christmas presents if you guys have Christmas I oh we're big in a Christmas yeah they think they are Christian are they you guys? Right? You said you're Christian. Yeah. It's the church of Jesus Christ. Oh yeah. And, and Joseph Smith. So do you guys believe Jesus was a prophet or do you believe he was God? God? Yeah. We believe he's got. Okay. What God, what's the difference between Catholics and Mormons in terms of what they believe? I give it to you. I give it to you. I'd love to hear this go. All right. So you guys have seen

star Wars, right? So if you look exactly where I hope you were going Mormons are siths and we're in word Jedi. No, it's kind of like their sequels. So, you know, Judaism, Christianity or Catholicism, Judaism, Catholicism, Islam, Mormonism. They're all like different prophets that come after like they all have the same story based on, you know, like in, in Iskahn, they believe that Jesus exists, you know, but then there was another prophet that came after. So you guys are saying there's another prophet that came after all of that, right?

Is that, that's my understanding, pretty crude understanding, probably pissed off like five different groups of people. Definitely oversimplified it over a billion people. One sentence pissed off a billion people. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out an analogy. It's like, what do the Mormons believe that Catholics don't believe or vice versa? Well, Joey Smith, man. He you know, I mean, I don't know if I don't know if Catholics would be like, yeah, Joey Smith never existed. Well, no, he was he around.

Do we have birth certificate of New York? He's got to have a birth certificate. Well, it's his existence. No, I'm not questioning his existence. I was miles. I'm just saying, let's see the proof. Can I get an answer on what's the difference? Like obviously there's differences, but what's like the main difference? I don't know if it's possible to explain it better than Charlie

did. Cause like the only difference, not the only, but with a major difference between Lutherans and Catholics is the, is the Pope and how they view, you know, communion. And that's about, you know, there's not much difference. Oh yeah. Confession, I suppose Catholics. I think where they were the first Christians, right? Peter depends on who you ask. If you ask a Catholic, they were the first. Yeah. Oh really? See, I thought that there was just not, yeah, that's disputed too. They say it's the first church that was started by Jesus himself. Right. That's right. Oh, you. So Mormons believe that too. Well, we believe that you say that we believe that can't say that. We don't know. We don't know. I think we're all on the same

church, different PEO or different church. Same PEO. We're out here having a good time. We're all in the back. PEO of whatever church we're in. We are clearly not listening very hard. So I last question I got for you, because my, I just, the Mormon church is fascinating to me. You know, in, if you're a Catholic, you know, there's hardcore Catholics and then there's Catholic light. Correct Charlie. Yeah. You know, like Catholic genuine draft. Yeah. It's like there's Catholics that get to pick and choose which rules they follow, but they're still Catholic. Yeah. What are, is it like that in the Mormon church? And, um, you know, what are the, what are the main rules in the Mormon church that people are like? Yeah. I'm not following that. following that? Yeah. So, so I'd say the main ones, the ones that you guys brought up already, like kind of the code of health that we, that we choose to follow. No coffee, no tea, no tobacco, no alcohol. And you can imagine, you know, there's a lot of folks who will attend church and, and, but, but aren't super into that. If that makes sense.

Yep. Yep. Yeah. What about Shulkin? Oh my gosh, Charlie, please. No. Well, I heard it's a thing, dude. Is it not a thing? Just ask you a super soaker. I don't know anybody personally, but yeah, no. So they used to call him in college was super soakers. Oh man. So you don't know anyone that's into soaking. I suppose if everyone's, you know, is married, then they don't have to soak anymore. Right? That's fair.

Yeah. It's a college. Like, do you ever just like soak for for like old time sake, even though you can do the real thing? Oh, my gosh. Sorry. Is this offensive, by the way, or like like because it's not like if someone were like it like talk about confession, Charlie, is that the same kind of question is talking about soaking is soaking

like an actual thing that happens or is that just something that people say? I don't know anybody who has. I imagine it's not something that you talk about a lot. No. All right. So I'm just, I'm being an ignorant asshole is basically what's happening here. No, Charlie, you're, you're on a quest for knowledge. Yeah.

Thank you. Appreciate that. Appreciate that very generous revisionist history of the question I asked, but I'm getting the sense it was a little bit rude, so I'll back up the truck. I'll back up the truck. All right, Miles, did I? What was your question? Did we get it?

Yeah, I was mostly about soaking. OK. question. Did we get it? Yeah. It was mostly about soaking. Okay. Water. All of the, all of the questions that I had previous were all just trying to lead up to me wondering about soaking and how prominent it is in the community. Where does that come from? You know, as a Catholic, I am a little jealous we don't have our own thing like that. We got our things. We we got our things. We bury the money in the graveyards. OK, so no one can access it.

You do the math on that. You do the math. Yeah. Got our own shit. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we are not. Anyways, it's good to piss off every major religion in this conversation. Every religion you piss off. You have the globe. Yeah, that's all right. You know, what can you do? Anyways, I'll go to confession. I'll get it all taken off the tab. Well, we appreciate you calling

in today and tell your hippie Mormon wife. We says, hi, you know, I will go to Arizona. We'll come dinner. Come on over. Yeah, that'd be fun. We'll have chicken. Bring the dog. Charlie, do you do shows in Arizona? I've looked, I don't, I don't reckon I've ever seen you have a date over here Yeah, I'm uh, I'm out there every now at once every two years. I get out there to the Phoenix area How far away are you from Phoenix Scottsdale that kind of area? Okay. Well, yeah next time you are we'll come see you for sure All right. Hell. Yeah, I look forward to after all that he still wants to come see show. Let's go. That's pretty that's pretty nice

See see we're just trying to understand each other better. All right. Well, well good chit chatting with you. Hey, you guys too. Have a great day. See you down. Bye bye. Oh shit miles. Well, we did this before, right? How many angry Mormons called us up after the last time we talked to a Mormon zero? Yeah. They're not allowed online, aren't they? No, those are freaking Amish miles. God damn it. Which is a good point. We haven't made fun of the Amish yet. Well, in a while, that's true. That's true. We did a whole episode. Oh yeah. Well, we were in, when we were behind enemy lies in Amish territory. Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's right. One guy called and he kept saying, you know, you know, Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. But see, that's

the thing about the belly. That podcast. We don't care what, you know, what race, gender, creed, chicken, talk to them all. Yeah. Whoever you are, you're welcome here. Okay. We're just going to ask about soaking, but whoever you are, well, we're going to cut to the real topics. People are interested in. Right. We want, you know, we're, we're trying to dispel myths here. We're myth busters. So sulking, not really a huge thing in the Mormon community. Okay. For our small sample size. You know, if we were actually myth busters, we'd need much more data. Yeah. But I do hear than a BYU bunk bed. I'm going to say that tonight. Man, this place is rocking.

That's good. I'll put that in the hat. You're going to have no shows in Utah. I know I got one coming up. I think. Do I? I got one coming up. I think Do I I've done one in Salt Lake City before they like the Mormon jokes, actually We all know we're just fucking playing man. We're just figuring it out together, you know, but even if not You know, no one cares. No one cares. No one trusts us with anything. I just don't think we have a huge Mormon listening.

If you're Mormon out there, let us know. I'd like to know how prominent we are in the Mormon community. Should we take another caller? Book of Mormon Book of Mormon. Are you just saying Mormon things? Yeah, I got to read the Book of Mormon to find out more about the religion. All right, guys, it's summer Road trip season we're driving

Driving down the road. It's a two-lane road in the woods and all of a sudden What do we do now we've been injured we call Nikolai one eight five five Nikolai. And if you are traveling this summer and you find yourself in a unfavorable situation where you may have been injured, give Nikolai law call. They are going to help the insurance company and Mr. Russell say, Hey, hold my beer. Let me get after these insurance companies. HMB. So guys give Nikolai law call. You can find them. Nikolai law.com. Give them a call. You can hit them up even on Instagram. I believe not Instacart. Yeah, that's not going to work Instagram. So So guys, give Nikolai Law a call. Emily. Hi, yes.

Hi, it's me, Charlie here at the Bellied Up Podcast. I'm here with my buddy, Mimos. Do you have time to talk to us or not? Yeah, I've got plenty of time. All right, Emily. Good deal. Why? Why do you have so much time on your hands? What's going on? It's a Tuesday. It's my weekend.

It's my weekend. Hell yeah, you a bartender? No. Hairdresser? I work in a tourist town. What town? I'm out in Utah. Oh, are you Mormon?

No, I'm not. I was raised Catholic and that's kind of what my problem's about. Oh, well Pellion up to the bar. You got two Catholics right here. Yeah. We're at the bar as most Catholics are. So. Amazing. Yeah. So my Midwest moral dilemma is that, you know, I was raised Catholic and my grandma is my busha. My Polish grandma is also super Catholic and you know, she calls me once a week and always asked me if I've gone to church. Uh, but recently I lie to her every week. Um, okay. Don't lie to me. No, I, yeah. And that's yeah. So I have this, you know, kind of serious boyfriend. And he's great. But unfortunately, he's not Catholic.

Is he Mormon? And he's not. He's not. He's just, you know, a great guy. He's a mechanic. He's in the church of the former day saints. Does he have any religion? Not really. Yeah. More spiritual, just fast and furious. Okay. Yeah. More spiritual. So he's more spiritual than religious. And you say kind of serious. What does kind of serious mean? You guys live in together? Well, not, not yet. Cause that would be a whole nother conversation about whether I liar about that. But it's started to come up to my Boosh

in conversation that I have this boyfriend and she's starting asking me if he's Catholic and I've used the line Oh, you know, I don't know. I'll ask him a couple too many times and I need to know if I should lie about my boyfriend being Catholic or if I Yeah, I should tell her the truth. Okay. Okay. How old is your grandmother? She's going to be 90 this year. Just lie. I mean, what do you want to disappoint her in our last years? You know? Yeah. And you know, my cousins have tried that on Steve bro. Um, and I haven't heard the end of it. Um, you know, she's always hoping that they'll come back to Jesus. And I just, I don't want to hear that for the next couple of years.

Yeah. So I think, you know, you gotta be upfront with your boyfriend, be like, we, if we do get married, we can't get married till after grandma's gone. Cause if we don't get married in a church and you don't know all of the chance that the Catholics do, she's going to know I've been lying to her all these years. You could also say not yet. Is he Catholic? Not yet, but I'm trying to convert them. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No. Oh, this is great. Charlie. This is great. This is great. We're high fiving over here. Emily to mean you want your grandma, your wedding. No. Oh, this is great. Charlie. This is great. This is great. We're high five. And over here, Emily, you want your grandma, your wedding? Yeah. Yeah. What you need to do is you need to make it a project that you and your grandmother are working on together.

Your grandma will understand that she's Polish. She knows what it's like to fix a man. So just say like, I'm working on them. Do you have any tips? And then maybe she can give you a few tips. Well, I think it's even grandma. I need your help converting him. Yes. Yes. And then honestly, that might even give her a few more years because as soon as you hit like 90, you kind of just run out of missions in life. Yeah. And that's usually when you just get, you almost dive boredom and this gives her reinvigorates life for her.

This is her purpose. She'll be sending you Bible passages. She'll be sending you, you know, Ted talks. Well, those people are all atheist. I don't tell you sermons, you know, you're hesitating. I church bulletin. Yeah. She'll mail them to you. Grandma's love bulletins and they just can't get enough bulletins in their life. Rest assured to if your grandma is a true Polish Catholic, she has lied through her teeth about Catholic

stuff her whole life because that's what we Catholics do. Every Catholic household has at least three rugs on the ground that we sweep all of our issues under and pretend like they don't exist. Okay. I like this. I like this idea, okay good good deal so yeah I mean you think she's gonna be on board with trying to you know fix your boyfriend I Think she could definitely view it as a mission. I might get a couple more calls from her Make take up some more time, but I think, you know, for the bonding experience,

it might be worth it. Yeah. I mean, it's also like kind of a funny just prank on your boyfriend to be like, Hey, my grandma wants to talk to you and just hand him the phone. And then she just goes off on him for 30 minutes on how he should be Catholic. That's funny too. Yeah. Yeah, that is, I like that. And he's not starting with nothing. He's spiritual, not religious. So he wasn't raised religious at all. I don't think so. How do you not know that? How long have you guys been dating?

Dude, Jen Z doesn't talk about this stuff anymore. It doesn't come up at all. How long you guys been dating? About eight months now. Are you Jen Z? I'm 27. What does that make me know? Between your tweener between what oh wait forgot three months. You've been dating them eight eight eight eight months And you don't know what the you don't know. What are you guys talking about? You know, we just like go thrifting and go camping and I don't know. It hasn't come up.

It hasn't come up. Your grandma's talking to you about this every week. It hasn't come up or you haven't wanted to bring it up? I mean, he's not asking me to go on church on Sunday. So I'm assuming he's not. Are you guys exclusive? Yeah. Does he think that too?

Yes. Oh God. All right. Well you gotta, you gotta start digging in a little bit. Figure out this guy. Do you think you could marry him? Oh, I think so. Yeah. Or at least my mom's convinced I'm going to. Oh, well what does your mom say? Does your mom know he's not Catholic? The grandma's got to be dad's mom, right? Yeah. A hundred percent. There's not, there's never a disconnect like that between mom and, and grandma. Yeah. It's usually an amplification process. Correct. What is your mom think of your grandmother? You know, my mom just believes that you should treat everyone nicely and you know it doesn't matter where you sit on Sunday as long as you're a good person you know you treat other people with respect. That's

great, that's beautiful. So she and your grandma don't get along I'm guessing. I wouldn't say that I mean they can they get along just fine. Ask your mom if she's ever lied to your grandma. Oh yeah 100% she has. All right well you have precedent every Sunday. All right have you lied to your grandma yet? All right. All right. Have you lied to your grandma yet? I mean, I have in the past, yeah. OK, but you're trying not to. You're trying to see. That's the problem with Catholics. You're either going to get the guilt for telling the truth

or you have to lie and break the seventh commandment. Is it the seventh or the fifth? I got a technique that could help your cause a little bit. If you do want to tell the truth, you need to wait till one of your cousins gets pregnant out of wedlock and then shove that in the front and then just slip in the back end. Like, Hey, yeah, he's not Catholic, but Oh my God, she's pregnant. Can you believe that? She's Catholic and she's having premarital sex. This is it. You got to wait for someone to flood the zone with a bigger problem and then you, you drop this bomb on it. Okay. Okay. You got to wait for a bomb.

So this just feels like a mortar shell. Correct. Okay. Perfect. I think that'll be my cousin's wedding next spring because she's getting married in a barn. So I think that'll be my cousin's wedding next spring because she's getting married in a barn So I think that might be the time wait you're doing it at the way It says it better be a shotgun wedding. Otherwise, I don't think this is gonna work No, no, no at my cousin's wedding. My cousin's getting married next spring in a barn and so Bummer does your grandma know that yet? Oh, that's what she's talking smack to you about. Yeah. She's been, yeah. I mean the wedding's like over a year away

and I've heard all about it. You know, we have moved from like, I'm not going at all to I'll go, but I'm'm gonna be shitty about it. They're not I'm not like I'm not clapping I'm not gonna win when they kiss We have to keep her hidden to like right for the ceremony bring her out so she doesn't say too much to other people Oh, she's not funny. She's like I want everyone to be Catholic and be super religious But then they'll just run their mouth and say inappropriate It's It's amazing. Yeah, what part it don't think it says in the Bible you got to get married in a church

Does it that's the thing about Catholic some of these rules? They just made up in the middle ages to like have more control. That's why priests can't be married, you know, because they would give the land away to their kids. So some of this stuff, you got to go back and figure out why they made up the rules and say, does this still need to be a thing? You know? Hmm. Yeah. Try, maybe try that route with your grandma. You know, a lot of these rules are kind of bullshit anyways. Charlie was telling me, yeah, I mean we could also just tell your grandma and just take the brunt. Yeah. What's her number? We'll give her a call right now.

Oh, yeah. Well, she already texted me this morning. I sent a picture of a craft project I finished and she replied, Oh, that's beautiful. I'm glad you're not lazy. And I was like, okay, I was just, I was just trying to send my nice project. I worked on, but you know, at least I'm not lazy. What does she do all day? Oh, you know, she stays busy. She plays cards. She still volunteers at the rescue mission and has her rosary group.

Nice. Does she like to gamble? Not really. She's more into the polka dancing. Cool. All right. She is Catholic. Yeah. Good for her. Good all right. She is Catholic. Yeah. Shit. Good for her. Good for her. She stays busy.

What card game does she play? Oh, I don't know. Probably like euchre or something. Okay. All right. So she's a Midwest Polish Catholic gal. Oh yeah, through and through. Wisconsin?

Michigan. Michigan, okay. All right, yeah, Wisconsin'd be sheep shed. Well, I think you're gonna get through this. I mean, we don't even know if it's gonna work out with this guy or not. I think, you know, start, start, it's a good conversation starter with your spiritual guy. You know, ask him, would he consider getting married in a church? You know, because if he gets married in the church, then he's as Catholic as half the Catholics out there, you know? I think yeah, this is going to be a great conversation to have with him later today.

Wow. Oh wow. Doing it today. All right. Well, yeah. Okay. It's already fresh on the nog. All right. Yeah. Fresh on the nog nog you guys had the marriage conversation yet even We've kind of started it I think What do you mean you think Well, you know, I like making muffins or something and he's like gosh I marry you. And I'm like, okay, that's like good enough for me. Oh yeah. Most most be some goddamn good muffins. Oh yeah. They're Bush's recipe. Of course they're good. Perfect. Make them muffins, make him muffins. And that's your into the conversation. Perfect. I also want you to remind you that it is one day in your life that like, you

know, obviously it's a big deal, but like it's one day out of how many days that just wouldn't get too stressed about it. Me either. I mean, it might not even work out. I'm divorced. That's a joke there. Okay. This wasn't a joke on you. Oh yeah. A couple couple times, right? Not a fucking what? Once one time I never said you were divorced. I would never say that one time. I can't even get married in a church anymore. They don't let you do it unless you get an annulment. I haven't gotten an annulment.

So you're still married in the church's eyes. Yep. Still married. I guess. I mean, technically I don't think I'm supposed to be receiving communion anymore. So tell your grandma that you're kind of looking you're like a Catholic outlaw. I'm a pariah. Well, what can you do? What can you do? Jesus still loves me. That is just the most Charlie thing ever. Is that he's never even bothered getting an annulment. Are you kidding me?

That's a whole friggin process man. What do you think I'm gonna do that? No I'd have to authentically care enough to do that And I just don't I think I'm fine. I think Jesus thinks I'm fine right Thanks for the existential crisis Emily yeah Of course, you're welcome. If I'm feeling Catholic guilt. I need someone else to be feeling it too Catholics and the guilt man. We got it. You know, we got it in their heart you afraid of hell

it. You know, we got it in there hard. You afraid of hell. Yeah, you are. Sometimes I feel like, yeah, yeah. Some stuff. That's why we're already there. Is that what you were going to say? I mean, it's like a million degrees outside right now. Yeah. And working, working with the general public, you know, makes you feel a certain way. Yeah. How's that going? Working with the general public, you know, makes you feel a certain way. Yeah. How's that gone? Working with the general public. Oh, you know, it's touching goat really depends on the day. People are, people are crazy. I forget what, what would you do again? The tour guide, I think of tour guide. Yeah. Where, what are you touring? Oh, just, you know, talking about the rocks and stuff out

here and what to do and what to see. Yeah. Hell yeah. That's cool. Do you wear, do you wear all tan? Feel like you got like a tan outfit you wear. No, thankfully not. I don't look like a dad on a safari. Nigel Thornberry out here. We're, we're, where'd you meet your boyfriend? Oh, well we met on Tinder. Oh, did you tell your grandma that? No, of course not. Here's what you just, it just lie. Grant, you're already lying to me, ma and just tell her that you met him at church. He was handing out or you were handing out communion and he went, came up for seconds. That's what my parents tell people.

That's great. It's funny. The things we decide to care about being honest about, cause how many lies have you actually told to your grandma indirect or directly, but this one sort of sticks a little bit. It's a different kind of lie. It's a Morty, a Morty lie right there. There are white lies and the mortal sin lies. Yeah. White lies. You can just be like, you don't even have to confess and confession. Correct? You just only Morty's I, I, I, I start busy. I don't need to be, you know, I spend any time on the little, I stack the deck. They're called venial sins. Actually venial. I stack the deck with the venial sins so I can run out the clock filibuster with

the 30 seconds left. And life. Well, I didn't get an enrollment. I, well that's it. What's my penance? Yeah. You can just go to your grandma and then go confess it and it'll be all all done. Say if you are fathers, a couple of Hail Marys, you'll be all right. Heck yeah. Jesus still loves you. No, Jesus is in my heart. So yeah, that's what matters. Then what else do you need? It's on is in your heart. Your mind and your words. Yep. Yep. Yeah. In my mind and my lips and in my heart. Yeah. Do you know the new stuff that they say at church or we and Charlie got a little exposed

in our popes of Midwest? It was it wasn't our best look. What did we say that got us caught? We said, peace be with you and also with you. You're supposed to say, and wait, what does she, Oh, do you, do you, okay. Told her and with your spirit, why are they changing up the words? Shut up Emily. I know it was a long time ago God you can't you can't teach in a couple old dogs new tricks I've been to church a lot since they switched it up. All right, it's just you know, you just Just what Christmas and Easter shut the front door Emily She's been to some baptisms too all right okay yeah I go every week every Sunday if you've got the bulletin as your receipt shut yeah

yeah I can get you on bulletin Emily I them know you were yeah, you said oh, yeah Emily. What was the last time you were at church? Yeah, I don't know I think my aunt sent me one of them receipts a couple a couple months ago during uh was lent recent Recent your grandmother You were yeah Give me a break Emily. Maybe I need to brush up on my, my church. I think. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Here's a little Catholic quiz for you. How long is lent? 40 days. Okay. Nope. Jesus went into the desert for 40 days. He was tempted by the devil three times. He said, get away from me, Satan. And then he came back at Palm Sunday.

And then it didn't go so good for him. What did Jesus ride into the city on, on Palm Sunday? Oh, what? I'll pass that question. Yeah. What was it? My donkey is a mule, a beast of burden. Never be your, a burden. You never be your beast, a bird in.

So, yeah, you know, I'm with your grandma. You need to go to church. I'm with your grandma, too. Emily, we don't know anything about being Catholic. It sounds like this boy is not Catholic. Dump his ass. Yeah. If he if he can have your muffins, but not, you know. Go sit through a homily.

Well, then does he really love you? I'm just kidding, Emily. He does really love you. That was that was me. That came out my mouth mean. I was turning Polish on you with that right there. It's going to be good. Don't worry about it.

All right. Just just follow your heart because Jesus is in your heart and always with you. And what's in your heart with your spirit cannot lead you astray. Okay. All right. All right. I think this will help me. All right.

Through these trials and tribulations. Exactly. You're gonna be fine. Yeah, this is your stations of the cross. Yeah. This is station number one. This was my homily. This is station number of the cross. Yeah, this is station number one. This is station number one right here Just remember remember this remember this whatever religion the Bible says everything so what people choose to focus on

You know that's on them, but but this actually came out of Jesus's mouth. He said God is love and all who live in love live in God So whether you believe in God or whether you believe in love, you believe in the same thing. And I think you and your boyfriend believe in the same thing. Whether you call that God or whether you call that love,

it's all good. Here on the Bellied Up Podcast. Amen, I say to you, amen. That's a blessing, that's a blessing. All right, sounds like she wasn't listening. Anyways, will you keep her moving? Okay. All right. Tell your folks I said hi. All right. Tell your grandma we says hi too. Babushka?

Bousha. Bousha. Tell Bousha we says hi. All right. I will. All right. See you, Emily. What? What does that mean? We should get a priest on this podcast and then maybe we can just do a wham, bam. Thank you, man. Annulment right here.

We should do that. Emily, was she OK? You think she was OK at the end there? Do we make her so I think she just kind of sick about. Oh, really? Yeah, that'll happen. She called in basically like, hey, I'm not very Catholic, but my grandma's Catholic. How do I navigate this? And then all we did was talk about Catholic stuff.

So it was basically just a conversation with her grandma. Yeah. Well, I think we helped her. I hope. But I got that Catholic guilt. So I'm going to be up at five a.m. Just thinking about that You know Not you miles what happened to your Catholic? No, I'll be up at 5 because my kid not not cuz the guilt see once you have a kid all the Catholic guilt Just dissipates. It's like I know I just got to take care of this kid. I gotta have a kid

Do you guys want to try singing Eagles wings? I will raise you up on Eagles wings And I will raise you up on eagles wings Make you to shine like the sun and Jake's just shaking is that this isn't radio. Of his. We are so Charlie just said he wants to have a kid. Yeah, I know. A kid. Let's go.

Yeah, I can do it. Yeah, let's do it. I mean, that let's do it. You do it and then we'll talk about it. Let's do it. I mean that let's do it. You do it and then we'll talk about it. Let's do it. You want to suck. I can assist. All right. Here's a voicemail from Tyler. Charlie. Hey guys. My name is Tyler from Mitchell, South Dakota, home of the world's only corn palace. I have a idea that I think everybody should get behind We need to have one day a year

You can call people and tell them exactly how you feel I've been in sales for 25 years and there's some people that downright piss me off And I think once a year was you able to just call them no strings attached and tell them how we feel, how we think about them. Give me a call back. Let's chat. Go back. Let's chat. First of all, he either sounded like he sold cattle or sold life. I thought he sounded like he was on local radio. He had that voice, didn't he? He had that voice. I liked the idea.

What would you call that day where you just called someone and told him how you feel? Well, we have the purge, right? You know, or you can commit any crime. What would be the verbal version of the purge? Like no fucks Friday. You know, something like that. Yeah. Have you been to the corn palace before the verge? Yeah, the verge.

Sure. Have you been to the corn palace? I haven't. I wish we, we shot a video at the bar next to the corn palace. Yeah. So then after we were done, Oh no, for part of the video, we went into the corn palace. We're checking it out. Well, I don't know if you know this, but the corn palace is just a basketball gymnasium. Yeah. With a bunch of corn on the outside. Yeah. Well, we walked in and we were shooting and I was standing like in the tunnel where you would go out to sit in the bleachers and the Dakota Wesleyan basketball team was practicing and the coach was having a meeting

at center court and we were just standing there and all of a sudden the coach is like, what the hell are you guys looking at? Really? You got turns around and they're like, come on down here, whatever. And so in front of the whole Dakota Wesleyan basketball team, they're like, yeah, shoot, shoot a three pointer and see you make it. And I'm wearing like cowboy boots and I am hung over so badly to the point, you know, like your voice doesn't sound like one of those deals. Yeah. And I only took me two shots to swish a three point. Oh really? Yeah. Dude. Congratulations. When the pressure is on. Yeah. I was very nervous. It was going to take me all day. Good for you. Was he impressed? Yeah, I think so. I

don't know. That's pretty awesome, man. So congratulations. My corn palace story. I've been to the cow palace in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. How's that? Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. It's covered with manure. Not true. That's not true. It's not nice to say that. Well guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the bellied up podcast. And after this podcast, we were talking to just the atheists. Yeah, because everybody else has left. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I believe what I said. I believe in what we said. No, I don't. Not everything.

Everything. Sorry if we offended you. Sorry if we offended you. Sorry if I offended you. I apologize. Sometimes I just get going. These are just top thoughts talking. I can't be responsible. Stream of consciousness. Just because it comes out of the mouth doesn't mean it's in my soul.

But some of the stuff does. Anyways, that's guilt talking. Did you see that? That was just guilt coming out of me. Sometimes I just have it's a guilt fart a guard Just guarding all over the place here Well, yeah, it is ways my heart's in the right place. All right As was my heart's in the right place. All right See you guys next time tip your bartender for God's sake otherwise you're gonna be guarding all over

Okay, hope you guys have a good one goodbye now