Bellied Up - Can Anyone Do Stand-Up Comedy? #180

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

We're at the KwikStar in Fargo, ND. Myles makes a shocking discovery about Charlie. First caller is a mechanical engineer who needs advice on what to say and do for a 5 minute stand up comedy routine. Then, Charlie (yes Charlie) states his case on why Vermont should be apart of the Midwest https://prizepicks.onelink.me/ivHR/be...⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠use promo code: belliedup

All right, guys, before we get to the episode, we want you guys to call in to the bellied up hotline and leave a voicemail for us. The phone number is 218-303-5095. We are looking for the answer to this question. If you were the mayor of your town for one day, what would you change? What would you do? You know, you've heard of first 100 days with the president. what's your first 24 hours as mayor of your town we want to know what you would do the phone number is 218 303 5095 enjoy the show welcome back everybody to another episode of the bellied up podcast we're here at the Quickstar

Charlie and I are billied up to the snack the snack bar here and we are chilling we are really chilling we're chilly I'll tell you this about Quickstar before they uh officially turn the lights on in here and let the public in it's a little chilly because there's people coming in and out stocking shelves stocking the beer cooler you know there's an energy in here it's alive yeah they just the the i gogs guys here i don't know if you like gas station sunglasses or not charlie but i gogs is the pinnacle of gas station sunnies i used to have a few different pairs of i gogs and when i was a kid growing up you know um because they were they were affordable but cool you know what i'm saying like yeah like you see

someone at the pool with some gags some i gags you respect that you know yeah yeah they're respectable sunglasses you know like blue blockers you know i mean yeah i know what you mean what what what what kind of sunglasses guy were you growing up as a kid miles um i never I never have fallen to the trap of buying really expensive sunglasses. What are these? What are these sunnies, huh? Those are knock arounds. Knocker rounds.

Which, um, those might be 40 bucks or so. I float in the medium range. I'm not spending $200, but I'm not spending $200 on a pair of Oakley sunglasses, you know? Yeah, I traditionally have been in the same category. However, I had to get the dip into the purse. description sonnies and then that gets a little more spendy so you wear those are those glasses have prescription in them yeah oh you think i'm just come on dude people asked me before they're like so does charlie like those glasses he wears is you need glasses and i was like i think he just likes

the way glasses look on them and i don't i done to my head i thought you were just wearing them for fashion you i thought you just wore those glasses all the time because you're just like i like the way i'd look in glass do we even know each other like are you kidding me i'm not the same miles are you shitting me really you guys do you guys think that charlie wears these because he needs them or because he just likes the way they look you guys all how many people out there are thinking i'm wearing glasses for a look do i give that vibe like the fact that I can like keep track of these glasses is a miracle uh really what they're four miles sometimes I like at first I thought you were just like doing it to like be hip like I thought it was

a phase and then you just kept wearing them and I'm like oh he just likes the way he looks okay okay well now I'm questioning you like I could have swore that like one of your employees just had a pair of like blue light blocking glasses laying around yeah put them on once as a joke I like these and then you just you just wear them all the time is what I thought was going on okay no but now I'm questioning you

as like a friend like if I would if you were wearing glasses you can't put that on me because everyone here thought that you wore them for fashion but you're the friend that roast me if I'm doing something silly like you're the friend that would let me know I'm doing something silly and that would be

a silly thing you're not you're just not going to roast me about what other silly things do you want me to be completely honest You want me to be completely honest here Dude, that's, you're the kind of friend Okay, I'll be completely honest with you. I thought that so

you're worried about that you look tired a lot. Yeah, the dark under eyes. And I thought that you just wore them a lot to just hide the fact that it looks like you haven't slept in a week. That is true. Okay. That's true. That's see, that's an accurate thing. And also, do you want me to make... I haven't slept in a

week? I don't know. I can't tell you. You got the glasses on. How long? how long since I last slept? No glasses. I look fine. Jesus. This is the bad. Oh, I look good.

But fine came first. Guys, it's a hereditary thing. Do you see why? This is a touchy subject for you. So this is the reason you're saying, why wasn't I giving you crap for it? It's because I thought it was an insecurity of yours that I didn't want to press on.

Well, because I am a good friend. Yeah, but usually you're pressing on my insecurities. Usually, unless you're pulling punches, which I don't know that I know that. side of you miles you know but maybe maybe i'm worse than i think and you're pulling a bunch of punches no no okay no so let me uh go in the glasses i have a soft prescription it's not like a it's not no you guys put these on you can tell it's a yeah you can tell it's a prescription put them on dirty to all hell but there is a prescription yeah there's a prescription on there's a prescription on there. Very dirty.

And the reason they're dirty is, uh, goes back to the face. You're Charlie Barron's. No, I'm not dirty. I put a facial moisturizer on my face. Yeah. To try and, to try and, you know, combat the sleep, you know. So I'm, um, but I'm not dirty. I mean, it's not a lot of prescription for sure.

No, but when you're driving at night, I mean, those are just cheaters. When you're driving at night, Miles, you want to have these because otherwise, you know um you know a lights just get heavy and and the lights blend together but you put these on sometimes if i'm driving a long distance and i don't have these i'll wear my prescription sunglasses because it'll be sharper than uh so anyways that's me but yes i do definitely do it to hide it distracts from the the dark circles so it's a nice little cheat and is it because you don't get much sleep or is this is maybe a good point let's hash it all out you let's just get it it out there. I didn't want to talk about it, but you

made me. No, let's do it. I don't want to talk about this, but you made me. I'm very comfortable talking about this. What's your questions? I'll answer all your questions about my body. Do you think, is it just a DNA thing that you have, you tend to have slightly darker circles underneath your eyes, or is it

because you haven't slept in a week? If you look at my family, if you look at my family, you can see pretty quickly this is a hereditary thing. There we go. But also, on top of that, there are periods where I don't sleep as well as I should. But it's double whammy.

It's a double whammy. Yeah. So that'll, but I do have just thinner under eyes, you know, which is, but you know. Is that the technical term?

You have thin under eyes? Yeah, the skin is a little thinner under my eyes. You'll understand in 10 years when you're my age miles. That's true. And you're not, what are you? 32?

Yeah. Yeah. You're 33. I'm 32. 33 of March. And when is my birthday, Charlie? Your birthday is March 22nd. Let's go.

Yes, that's what's up, baby. I got memories. He has a memory retention of one hour. One hour. But yeah, so I got the thin under eyes going. But also, it's so nice watching a movie when it's nice and crisp, you know, you want that. So these are, I mean, I guess I just do that naturally. I don't need the assistance.

You don't need glasses. You got 20, 20, Vish? 2013. Shut up. Oh, 2013. 13, that's not great. That's better than, that's better than perfect. I thought 2020 was perfect.

I know. And it's better than perfect. No, I can do simple numbers, Miles. 13 is less than 20. Yeah, it goes down. So the higher number is bad. It's like golf that way. No, it's not.

2020? If you had 2040 vision, if you had 2040 vision, that would be bad. Okay. Oh, I didn't know. So you got great eyes. Great eyes. Yeah, you can read to me.

what is that? Is this what we're doing? This is what we're doing? What is that sign? This is what we're doing? Miles, no, what does that sign? Say what are those four letters right there? K fucking go.

K fucking go. That's what I'm talking about. I can read that without my glasses. Yeah, because we are going on a new podcast here, ladies and gentlemen, bellying up with my buddy Miles. And it's going to be fun. Miles, you're going to go out deer hunting this year? It's like 2020.

this isn't this come out like middle of December yeah middle December well what date when does your deer season end here gonna do muzzle water I miss my chance I didn't get a deer and if you guys want to hear about my whole depressing story go listen to you bet your radio episode what Jared 3 52 I share my whole story if I if I talk about it right now it'll kill the whole mood and I won't be able to do anything the rest of the day But deer season's not done, is it?

You can go out again. Yeah, but I don't have any, I don't have anywhere to go. We get, we, we lucky enough, have family friends that allow us to go hunting their land opening weekend. Wow. And I could go do the public route, but I got a kid. Fair enough. Fair enough, Miles. That's fine.

That's fine. Did you get a deer? No. But I, um, I might, uh, go again. Because I, uh, you have property. I got myself a little, a little few acres here. I say it like that because I'm jealous, not because I'm mocking it. Well, you just sounded mocking to me.

I know, but that's my way of coping. It's my way. We got to get you out there. You haven't come out. Why don't you come out and go deer hunting with me? We'll go, I got an extra bow. Okay. Yeah.

Let's go bull hunting and gun season. Okay. Bow hunting gun season with my buddy miles. We can write a song. um anyways miles what question um shit i got all these questions prompts you're going to ask me a question yeah what question should i ask you miles where are my most qualified to give advice where are you yeah stand-up comedy for sure um uh yeah that's good uh you ask me one but but If I had to say one thing, you're most qualified, you would probably want to be stand-up comedy.

I would hope it's the thing that my entire bank account depends on. Yeah, I would hope. I would hope it's not, you know, rock collecting. Birds? Birds. Yeah. If I'm, how many times have I texted you and said bird of the day? Yeah, you text to me.

I looked to you for advice on that. I told you. Do you ever, do you ever look at a bird from a far away, far enough? way distance so you can see it just acting in its own way without knowing your presence, Miles? Yeah. Some beautiful about that. I did that in the woods when I was deer hunting.

Yeah. I have a lot of blue jays in those woods. Oh, mean little bastards. Yeah, they're loud to. What kind of squirrels are you? When I was falling asleep, they just woke me right now. Nature's alarm clock or blue jays. Yeah, sure are. Yeah. Sure are. Do you see anything else

cool in the woods? Uh, there's actually a couple of baby squirrels running around. Oh, dude. I don't know what happened. I had one main squirrel previous years, and I don't know if the mom died in childbirth or what, but there's two baby squirrels, but no mom. I didn't see the mom around. So circle of life. It is. Circle of life. Do you ever eat squirrel, Miles? I've never eaten squirrel. I'd like to try it once, you know. I've eaten squirrel. And tough meat or tender or, you know, squirrel is kind of, I like it personally

you know cleaning a squirrel is not um is not a very hard thing to do and it's rip the skin off and yeah and then and then you know you got it and you can roast it you can kind of roast them right over the

it's a whole other story the situation is like any sort of wild game meat you can always tell like how good it is naturally if people just say oh it's great or they like well here's how you do it you know like if there's a big process involved in it you can tell like they're they're hiding something you know well that's like you know you can tell when a meat's not that great when they say that you just got to know how to cook it

right that's exactly that's exactly that's a little bit like that like pheasant's good but you're like it can get real dry you know you're always like you got to just cook it right my dad every christmas he makes pheasant poppers you know which is you know pheasant wrapped in uh you cheese cream cheese and Halipinos. Halipinos. And he wraps it all in bacon. Yeah. You know, anything you got to wrap all in bacon.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry you missed your dear. You did tell me about that. I'm sorry to bring it up. But it's okay. All right, guys, time to play some prize picks this week. And right now, prize picks will give you $50 in lineups.

So when you play your first $5 lineup, win or lose, you're getting 50 bucks in lineups. Use promo code bellied up when you sign up today. And right now, price picks has a max discount. to start your holidays Anthony Joshua the guy boxing Jake Paul this weekend

he just needs to land one punch to cash his projection and his Friday night fight against Jake Paul and it's actually great that we bring that up that that's actually my pick

for the week Jared so bright yeah my I just I don't know I just feel like I'm being drawn to that line

and so I'm going to pick Anthony Joshua more than one punch landed more than half a punch it's it's you know a lot of people call them locks I call this one a knockout this is a knockout pick for this week

so if you guys you guys should roll with that Charlie what do you got hello miles this week I'm going Romeo Dobbs more than 35 and a half receiving yards because we were playing the bears And even though it is at Soldier Field, it is the Bears.

So we should be good. That was great, Charlie, not quite as much of a lock as a knockout as mine was. But guys, we're having fun playing prize picks this NFL season. Honestly, all seasons, whether it's NFL season, whether it's spring season, whether it's row construction season. We're playing prize picks. We love it. So you sign up today. I use promo code bellied up.

Anyways, so recovering. I'm excited, man, for another episode of Bellied Up podcast. I do have a confession. Okay. Before we move on from the podcast. Confession. Wow. I'm getting nervous.

You should be nervous. It's, uh, we've now, this is a second podcast we've done here at Quickstar. And I noticed it early on. And I was going to mention it. But then stuff just kept getting in the way or I would forget to mention it. but you have something in your teeth. Really? Yeah.

Can you get it? It's right. Get it. Oh, God. Did you get it? I don't have any fingernails. It's like a, is it, do you have a poppy seed muffin this morning? Did you?

I had oatmeal. You got it. You're going to need to get it. I don't have any fingernails. Did you guys notice I had some of my teeth today? Don't lie. Don't lie. We all saw it.

It's gigantic. No. I saw it early and I just was like, okay, I can't derail the podcast to get something out of his tooth. It's massive. I know. I was too busy looking at his eyes. Yeah. You get it? It's really in there. Did you brush your teeth this morning? Is that from last night? You didn't brush your teeth this morning? And I just touched it? I did. I did brush my teeth. But that's still in there? You got it. No, I had oatmeal miles. I had oatmeal. Okay. And the oatmeal that they served me because I was fancy, I went out for breakfast because I don't live here.

And you didn't invite me over for breakfast. So, but they put cheese. They still showed up late. Still showed up late. Yeah, I had to buy my own breakfast, obviously. But yeah, they put chia seeds. And you're talking about cheese seeds. Seeds are nice.

Yeah, that you put little chia seeds in it, it makes the whole thing. Yeah, we're like to the age now. We have to start thinking about bowel movements on a regular basis. Sure. So it just helps everything move nice and smooth. I just had to get that off my chest and get that out of your teeth. I had to get that out of your teeth before I could move on. Well, I had to get it on my teeth.

And it was a tough one. That says water swisher right there is what I should have done. Took a little swig of water. And I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier. No, it's fine. I'm glad you said it. I mean, that's, you know, it took you a year and a half to talk about these glasses. My God.

I just thought you were just worried about the eye thing. That's funny. I mean, it is. That's definitely why I wear them in certain situations. Like, I don't need, yeah, we're back at the glass. How do we get back at the glasses? You brought it up. Attention deficit disorder.

That's what we should really call this podcast. Should we take some callers, Miles? Let's do it. Let's do it. What's up, Simeon? it's me, Charlie, and it's I got Miles here who thinks your name

Simon. Oh, common misconception. It's a tricky name, but no, you got it right, Simian. See, Miles, you're just a basic bitch. You know? Thank you, Charlie. Simian, what's on your mind, man? Well, I'm calling in for some

comedy advice here, actually. We just were talking about this. What is one thing or what is Charlie qualified to give advice on? And I said, stand up comedy and I couldn't think of anything else. And who know that that would pay off so quickly? I mean, it's almost like we planned this, but we didn't. We didn't. All right.

So, Simeon, give me, give me the lay of the land, dude. Where are you at in life? Where are you living? What you hauling? Well, I just graduated from college in May, last. year. I'm up in Traverse City, Michigan. And, uh, I'm, uh, I'm working remote. So I'm just at the house right now. And, uh, what channel did you switch to? Uh, hey, are you sure you want advice, stand up comedy advice from this guy after that? A little bit. Yeah, you should question

simian. All right. I like it. I like it. I like it, man. And, uh, where'd you go to school? Taylor University That sounds made up No Is this an online thing? No, no It's in upland Indiana

Real real small But it's good It's cool Got a real degree Nice in what Mechanical engineering Foo whee Damn

Are you sure you want to be a stand-up guy I definitely don't want to It's just one stand-up routine I need to get Did you lose in fantasy football? No. So it's actually, it's, uh, it's weird. It's not like regular standup.

It's my girlfriend's birthday. She like was joking around and she's like, you know what? I want to hear you do like a tight five stand up routine for my birthday and like knowing I'll crash and burn, but it'll be entertaining. Okay. Uh, you, this is going to test your ability here, Charlie. We have a mechanical engineer who's going to try and try and, be funny. So this is an uphill battle for you. All right. Yeah. Damn. You are, this is going to be

the ultimate alchemy test. Yeah. Can you take an ordinary rock and turn it into gold? Simian. Yeah. What am I working with? Do you, do you, you seem like you got a personality. You seem like you can have some stage presence? I'm an ordinary rock according to Miles. But I think that's a fair assumption. I'm a mechanical engineer. I do electrical work now, which is even more dry. Hopefully.

Hopefully it's dry. Well, okay. I think that like my bar for comedy is pretty low. Somebody actually told me that remote joke last week. I thought it was hilarious. I told a bunch of people that joke. About working the remote? like clicker yeah yeah damn because i was kind of giving charlie shit that's a bad joke

you're saying that's peak comedy we have really an uphill battle here charlie yeah i'm saying my bar for comedy is pretty low okay yeah you've confirmed that for sure all right so that's a way you got anything working you got any uh anything written down yet or you just going you're just going hot five cold here Um, I will, I've like thought about it a little bit, uh, nothing written down, um, could start story. Good, good idea. Just come up with a funny story and tell that. Um, no, you're not going to want to do that. You're going to, no, what you're going to want to do one liners, man. You want your, you want your hot five because then if some doesn't work, like you're not pot committed to it. First

time I did stand up, I wrote a whole story, like with howevers and all that stuff written in and commas and whatnot. Oh, it's awful. It's awful. Because then you can't memorize. It's hard to memorize it. You want to think headline punchline. Headline punchline. Fact about your life punchline. And you got a perfect example here that's your, you said it's your girlfriend or your wife's birthday. Girlfriends. Yeah. Girlfriend's birthday. You just get up there and you're roaster for five minutes. That's not a bad idea. It just depends if you want to be in this relationship long term.

I think that could be a good idea. That just, I think, requires me to be more funny, maybe, to make that work. If I've got a funny story, I don't have to memorize anything. It's a true story. I just tell it. All right. Well, let's hear the story. Um, okay. I don't have, I don't have all the

timing and jokes work out, but it's just in high school, I did. I did a play, actually, and I didn't realize it till later, but they had me playing, like, a high-functioning, like, child, like a, you know, very nerdy type person. And, yeah, I did that. And a lot of similarities to my own lives. Just kind of realized I was basically playing myself, which ended up being funny. So you're a high-functioning child? I think that's just I think it's like kind of just being an adult

that's a good way to put that no no no it was like a high functioning special needs child I knew he was so that's better they go with that that's funny yeah I thought that was pretty good and yeah you can even throw in like a touch of the tism joke you know yeah you're not full you're not full spectrum him. Little Shane Gillis, like, it nicked me. Grazed you.

So what you can, what you, so your, your story, though, is they had you playing a high functioning special needs child and you were good at it. Uh, yeah. There were a lot of similarities between my life already. I mean, do you have some kind of, um, I guess what's in? Superpower? Um, I do not. No, but, um, I, um, I, you know, I didn't have to buy any new clothes. Already had a pretty good ones picked out. I remember asking, like, the theater director dude, like,

you know, like, should I, like, slick my hair back or something, like, real nerdy? And he was just like, no, you know, I think it's fine. You're like, you are perfect. And make sure you wear those Velcro shoes for the play. Yeah, exactly. So, all right. What was the name

of the play? Gifted. Gifted. Okay. Mm-hmm. that is something to work with there but before we get into the play that could be kind of a down first thing you want to do is stand up is like you people are the easiest jokes to make are kind of recognition jokes you know so like what are they going to recognize you up there on stage first you physically there what do you look like uh about six foot two brown eyes or brown hair. I mean, I don't know. I'm, I'm Polish. You're Polish. Good. Okay, six foot two

Polish guy. So you can do a Polish joke in there, but six foot two, are you a good looking guy? Are you like an average looking guy? I'd say average to good looking, you know, pretty good. Okay, okay. Do you look like any celebrities? I look very much like Andy Samburg, actually. Okay. All right. He was almost my photo for a while at school, but... He was what?

Almost my like ID photo at school, like, is pretty spot on, actually. Okay, nice, nice. Okay, so you look like, so you could say, you know, an easy one is like, you know, true value Andy Samberg or something, but you almost want to get more specific. with it like if you look like and do you look like anybody else or what what differentiates you from looking like andy sandberg um i feel like it's a stretch but we could go like somewhere between will feral and and andy sandberg okay so you you you you got curly hair is what you're saying yes that is exactly i'll say yeah got it got it okay okay that's a good idea yeah yeah kind of like

doing a joke like a joke about your appearance off the top but it's got to be somewhat self-deprecating so like Andy Samberg like um like had a three-sum with a vacuum or something uh you know Andy Sandberg and Will Ferrell had a three-some with a vacuum something like that you know could be your opening. He just sucks or what well no just his hair if his hair is like a little bit more you know so you find the thing that's different from Andy Sandberg and then you make a joke now what you should do is you should say that you're pissed about the fact that all these kids are getting perms now again are they yeah the young kids are perm in their hair my my cousin who's in high school he showed up to deer camp with a perm shut the front door dude and then you could just

be like you know i've been rocking this my whole life you can't just come in with this stolen valor and have the curly hair you know that's that's good because then you could bridge it right from a joke about what you look like to what's going on today and then you could do a joke or two about the uh about the perm situation uh you like that idea i mean i like that i didn't know you i'm just i'm bringing a lot more heat than you are right now charlie and i need you to step up

well you're supposed to be the one thing you got advice for you're bringing an idea and you said he should get up there and say i'm the true value andy samberg no i said that would be a bad example of that i said that that would be that would be, what, Andy Sandberg and Will Ferrell, like, uh, had a threesome with a vacuum or, or something like that. There's something in there, you know, you know what? This is not my roast, Miles. I'm trying to help this guy out.

And sometimes we're just spitballing ideas. You can't like, you're right. We are on the spitballing phase. You can't be like, uh, you know, putting a little cap over my creativity fire right now. Oh, you're right. That is my fault. You got to allow the oxygen to flow, Miles. Okay.

allow it to flow all right all right geez where's your girlfriend from uh cincinnati actually oh okay nice you could do something like uh i took my girlfriend down to cincinnati i said you want to have a three-way it's chilly miles chilly okay yeah have you ever had three-way in cincinnati uh they're actually yeah they're pretty good i had uh see see my else? Skyline. That's good. That's good.

Yeah. Okay. So we got a three-way joke in there. All right. What does your girlfriend do for a living? She's got one semester left at college. She's a PR major and she's going pre-law. She's a PR major and she's going pre-law.

Yeah. Correct. What kind of lawyer does she want to be? She's kind of interested in like IJM International Justice Mission. So it's like, you know, getting after slaves. slavery in, like, other countries and stuff. Wow. Damn.

Yeah. Yeah. And you're just a civil engineer? Yeah, exactly. A mechanical engineer. Mechanical, yeah. That is better, right? Mechanical is better than civil engineer, right?

Yeah, I agree. Basically, those that couldn't hack it in the mechanical engineering world, they become civil engineers. Is that what happens? What was that? Sorry? If you can't hack it in the mechanical, you go civil or what? I'd say that's pretty accurate.

Yeah. It's, I think it's easier to get a civil job. You know, you always need, you always need that. You know, there's always jobs opening, so. And, uh, with this, uh, how many people are going to be in this audience? I have no idea yet. Um, I don't know. There's one comedy club in town.

Oh, shit. You're actually going to a comedy club. This isn't just, you guys are, are holding a party. Well, no, originally she wanted me to go and do it for her and her family. small family just parents a brother and a sister-in-law and just them and uh i don't know i got a friend who goes to a comedy club in town i can do that and it might be entertaining you know it would suck for me i feel like you know most likely it just bombs but yeah you go to an open night first all i got to just say something because this is on the top of my dome i'm miles i've seen two people

leave this same gas thing while we've been sitting here and they haven't shut their gas tank two people same deal and they haven't shut the gas it's just open it's just open like look at 10 and 12 right there dude they if another person goes to those and doesn't close their tank I'm shutting this whole quick star down it's cursed it's crazy sorry um I know they're not even open can they even fill up with gas are people filling with oh so that's why it out so they're going to a different pump. Okay. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, wait. That's a great sign, though. You guys aren't even open yet. You got people trying to give you their money. That's nice. Okay. Can you, you guys, someone should get a sign out there saying close your caps, you know? I mean, I don't want to tell you

I to do your job, but, you know, all right. Well, anyway, sorry, Simeon. We got derailed here. All right. Oh, God. Oh, God. you're going to a comedy club, you're so screwed, man. No, I'm kidding. The nice thing with open mic, you go there, you put your name on, you get three minutes. So you want to have all one-liners because you're going three minutes or five minutes. And then because if you're doing a comedy club, you're going to have a general audience there. So I don't know if you can roast your girlfriend as much. But I don't know yet, a big comedy club.

Yeah, I mean, you could just start off right off the bat, be like, all right, guys, I'm up here. it's my girlfriend's birthday today and this is what she wanted for her birthday so i am just going to endure this five minutes of torture up here so i can enjoy 15 seconds later there it is there it is miles boom you know that's how you started off right i like that do you see what you did there simian i no i see it i see it uh where is the name simian uh from what kind of is that polish actually. You too sure got that. No, I was wondering. No, I was wondering that. Is your brother's name Gideon as well? No, no, it is not. All biblical names, though. Biblical names. So you got to do a joke about your name. You know, what's the best joke you've ever heard someone say about your name?

Steal it. Okay. I'll start thinking, I can't remember any. I just hear weird pronunciations. Yeah. Okay. You can play a game of Simeon says up there. you could do a bit you could do a joke about how you used to be you know back back in Jesus's time you know used to be Simeon says and then Simon came along and stole it from you right underneath it's got bullshit doing everything for me they stole the perms and now this

now we're building it we're building it also of all the names in the Bible you got Simeon I know, I know. God, dude. You could talk about that. Yeah. Yeah, did your, who named you?

Your parents could have went with Matthew. They kind of went with Mark. They could have came with Luke at, like, restaurants and stuff. It's just simpler. Just say John? Yeah, it's my middle name. Simeon's a name that's so hard to pronounce. You have to create an alias.

It's pretty bad. I'd say I'm like, every time they ask me to respell it once or twice. and then, you know, who knows what they're going to say when they go to call the name. How do you spell it? S-I-M-E-O-M. Simeon. Simeon.

Sometimes I get Simone. People say that. Simone. Yeah. Simon. What are we doing? What are we doing? I'm ripping.

What are we doing here? What are we doing? I'm honestly, I'm keeping an eye out to make sure nobody. No, I need you back here with me. I need you back in the store. All right. Sorry. Sorry.

What are we doing? I mean, he's got like three minutes now. Well, you can't build it more. Yeah. Simian. It's solid. Tell me some other fact about yourself. A lot of hobbies I've picked up.

Motorcycle endorsement, scuba. Motorcycle endorsement. What is a motorcycle endorsement hobby? Well, like, I'm getting into riding motorcycles. But, well, why would you say it like that? Why don't you just say that? What's the most mechanical engineer way to say I ride motorcycles? All right.

All right. Fair. Fair. That's what they call it. You got to get your endorsement where you can get one. No, you don't. What do you mean? What is it?

I gave my motorcycle license. What in Michigan, they called an endorsement. You get your little endorsement added to your license and then you can ride. Got it. So you don't have a separate license. You just have an endorsement on your cruise. current license. They have that same thing in Wisconsin, dude, but nobody's going around saying it's an endorsement. They just say, I got to get my motorcycle license. Yeah, it's definitely,

you know, not the best way to say. It kind of goes, you know, back to why you were a great pick for that play. That is exactly what I was thinking. And he's back. He's back in the store with us. I'm worried about the health of the people at this. Someone's going to blow up, not your circus, not your monkeys, dude. Not my monkey, not my circus. Okay. Um, all right, Simian, give me, give me, what's the wildest thing that ever happened to you? Okay. Say that. Say the thing you're debating not saying right now.

Say that. Oh, not debating anything, actually. Didn't know there'd be a pop quiz, been a pretty normal life. Yeah, I mean, the guy's name's Simeon, he's a mechanical engineer, and he says motorcycle endorsement. I don't imagine anything wild is happening to him. I've got a motorcycle, though, so it evens it out. Are you kind of a, you're kind of a dork a little bit? Yeah, a little bit.

But I feel like I have cool hobbies, so it's like confusing, I think. Yeah, and you said scuba diving, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I scuba a lot. Do you get your scuba diving endorsement? No, I can't even remember what it's called, but it's another, yeah, it's not a license. I don't know. Certification. That's it.

that would be it that's the one there you got it that's great okay so so in order to like make your life more exciting you get these exciting hobbies i yeah you know it's uh i'd go crazy just doing the engineering all day so you just do that and then you go out and dive on the great lakes or something like that you know that's intense too you ever see any shipwrecks uh yeah there's a there's a there's a bunch of shipwrecks in the area I've gone to. But, yeah, it gets cold quick. Like, we're going to do an ice dive this winter. And so, yeah, I don't know.

It's fun. An ice dive. That's crazy. Can you even find it when you're down there? Find it? Yeah. Oh, find it. Is that what you said?

Yeah, find it. Yeah. No, it's actually, it's clear in the winter. All the, like. Algae's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's not what I'm talking about finding. I mean, an ice dive.

It's cold. Well, yeah, yeah. The Kuka is a wreck near here. And it's like, yeah. Is erect? Oh, a wreck. So there could be some scuba diving jokes in here. I'm peeling that out, you know.

Simeon? Oh, sorry. Where'd you go? My sister came by. She was hearing you guys talk. Oh, yeah. Let's get her. get your sister on the phone say hi hi hi what's your name Hannah Hannah how's it going

good Hannah uh what's the weirdest thing your brother's ever done noly what do you think if he was an ice cream is there another person there is there another my knees no one's around you oh how old is she just to make sure we don't say anything seven oh okay hey if you if your uncle was an ice cream flavor what flavor would he be made him chocolate chip i think he's about the answer cool is that just her favorite flavor yeah yeah yeah yeah uh hannah so um we're talking to simian about he said he's going to do a hot five at a stand-up comedy club what do you think his chances are of succeeding and bombing i mean i think it would be funny i'm not sure if it would be funny because his jokes were good or because he was so awkward

laughing at him more than laughing with him. Yeah, it might, it could go either way. I think it'll be funny either way. Yeah. Okay. Hannah, I want you to do a hot five quick and roast your brother for us. Oh, gosh. I don't, I don't know about that.

Yeah. I don't think I could come up with anything on the spot. I don't think the comedy gene is really present. Yeah. You've gone your whole life being his brother. I imagine. And there's got to be something that you can make fun of him about. Come on.

I mean, he's really a really good brother. He's my baby brother. He's your baby brother. He'll care of my children. Oh, that's sweet. Did he ever get caught doing anything in high school? He has never done anything naughty. He's the best behaved member of our family.

Really? Others, plenty naughty, but not simian. Oh, Simeon was the good boy. We can work with that. The standard for being bad is pretty high in our family. Oh, really? Well, let's talk about this black sheep memory of your family. Yeah.

What's his name? David? No. We won't name any names here. What's the worst thing any family member has been caught doing? That's a crazy question. pretty standard should we share

these things publicly how many people just play miles I think I think I'm going to mix that you're nixing that wow

all right his family's got some skeletons in the closet I want you to know without saying it now I'm just thinking the worst

yeah me too I'm just assuming your family is not good now oh my mom is also here she's telling me I got suspended from kindergarten

Wow you are such a badass Holy smokes What did you get suspended He stole his buddy's cram And he got suspended No I I accidentally punched my buddy Yeah

Oh you punched your buddy in kindergarten Let's go Isn't that like a daily occurrence in kindergarten I feel like that's just how it goes Was it a one-time thing, or did you get a warning? One-time thing, got quite stern talking to, sent home. And I remember it was a big misunderstanding. I didn't even mean to.

I mean, that's, I was, uh, we were, I was being the Hulk. We were playing like Marvel superheroes. I was like, ah, and I did a fake punch and just real good connection there. Nice. That's great. Not everybody gets suspended from kindergarten. I feel. Yeah, I feel like we can go into that a little bit.

So the time about, does you guys all just live? How old are you, Simeon? You guys all just live in the same house? No, no. Well, basically. No. Does anyone have real jobs right now? How are you guys paying for this house?

Everyone's just hanging out. Well, this is my parents' house. I've got the downstairs bedroom. It's almost like a studio. It's got an attached bathroom. what a great spin zone you should lean into that on your stand-up routine

be like yeah I got a studio today it's actually kind of got like an enclosed feel it's in my parents' basement my roommates yeah with my roommates yeah no it's it's good so yeah it's a nice

situation is that is that your knees yeah That's the other niece. Oh, my God. Boy. Are you guys Mormon?

No, but it does sound like that now. We're just here a lot. Our parents are wonderful, so we love to be at their house. What's the, okay? You guys. Your family can't be this nice and good and pleasant. Yeah, well, she already is burying the skeletons, Miles. That's true.

Yeah. What skeletons. What skeletons. Yeah. Well, now we can't, we can't give you, too many, uh, ideas here because now our audience has gone, um, all the, like seven year olds. It's got to be seven year old appropriate right now. I'm, uh, I just, uh, wandered away. It's just me again. All right. So when your girlfriend, when you guys are done with this set, are you going, uh, back to her

parents' place or your parents' place? It would probably be my house. Yeah, my parents' house. Your studio apartment. Yeah, the studio. Yeah. Got it. Daniel, are you parents cool with you bringing your girlfriend back home? Yeah.

She was just here for the weekend, actually. She just left today earlier. So she's still in school. It's in Indiana. So it's quite a ways away. Yeah. Well, I think we got you some material for your hot five. Oh, plenty.

Plenty of material. Yeah. Yeah. And if you like it a lot, you can really dig in, man. you can dig into how you're the good one in the family you know like your life was on a bad path uh after that that kindergarten suspension but it really puts you back in right and thank god because otherwise you end up with your brother what did your brother do do got to know let us know no one else is listening uh we just had some we've had some some legal troubles a couple

times but like stealing a car drugs murder what are we talking uh yes to two but not not the last one okay oh okay yeah i mean drugs and stealing stuff go hand in hand so it's true see what i did there oh yeah hand in hand i don't know what you did you hit me in a goofy way you barely touched no i know but my arms slept and it was weird this is a wild wild sensation that Yeah, I mean, every family's got to have one of those. Yeah. You really not done anything worse and punched that kid in kindergarten? Intellectual property infringement.

I had the threat of the lawsuit once. Would you steal? I sold like fridges on Etsy, like little video game fridges. And the people who make call of duty. reached out to me and were like, yo, stop it. Oh, you got a cease and desist. Yeah, I mean, getting fucking line. We have a P.O. box just for cease and desist at our company.

Oh, dang. You got any workarounds or it was really profitable until a fill-upil-up. You just keep selling them for another week and get rid of your stock. Yeah, you just say, hey, and, you know, once I sell out of this stock, then they're good. Then I usually say that's cool. Yeah. well this was fun man i'm glad we gave you a little bit um you just have the nicest family you really do what's it like what's it like living in a family that all loves each other and a nice

to each other what's that like boring boring yeah no it's nice it's uh it's pleasant fun holidays are good you can do a whole run of jokes on how you're so boring yeah you know i think we've kind given enough material here i might try to talk her into doing stand-up she can roast me i feel like we came up with more material for that yeah well that's that's stand-up you're just self-roasting yeah because because people can relate to that like you can even get the crowd into it you can be like i'm so boring and then they they they do it with you after you do a couple of them i'm so boring you know yeah it's and then you just sell your t-shirts that just say

I'm so boring, you know? All of a sudden, you're like, you know, who's the guy, you know, you're a redneck when? Jeff Foxworthy. Yeah. You get your tagline. Yeah. You got it already. Yeah. No, that's, you like vanilla ice cream,

decaf coffee, missionary, you know, you just go down the line. Just write out your actual likes, and I think that'll be your set. I like the idea of making merch for the one and only time that would be funny at the end of your sedge just be like

all right I got my merch 10 outside if you guys want to hit that out yeah he'll be standing at the door you know and on open mic that would be funny if you just made the whole bit around trying to sell merchandise just say a joke you get a few laughs and you're like

if you guys thought that was funny there's I have merch in the back it's all sitting on top of a call of duty fridge this was fun man you let us know how it goes all right take what we did here right up a first draft when's the birthday party um be about a month from now oh plenty of time yeah yeah all right i don't need the prep i just need to go bomb and it's good call us back we want

you to redo your set on the podcast live okay all right yeah i'd do that all right perfect now you got more motivation all right we'll talk to you soon simian good and watch help for deer on that motorcycle that's not a joke all right yeah no thank you appreciate it guys good talking with you all right see yeah well we found some stuff miles i didn't really bring my a game on that but trying to dig in and figure out what what was really making simian tick here but yeah and that's your practitioner you know you're you're diving into the technicality of it. Yeah, yeah.

And he just needed the bullet points, you know? We got them that. We got on the bullet point. You know, we got a few okay jokes in there. But it's really for him to just see what feels good on his tongue. Yeah. Yeah. So there you go.

I think, you know, the rest of the folks maybe had some thoughts for their top five, you know. Their hot five, not top five. Just everyone listening who wants to try stand-up comedy. Oh, yeah. It was a great lesson. Yeah, you know, crash course there. Should we do another one? Let's do it.

Well, folks and Charlie, family holidays, their contact sport. Everyone knows that. Ah! Somehow everyone's hungry opinionated and one step away from arguing about whether die art is a Christmas movie. Oh, that happens every year, Miles. Every year it happens. It does.

Can you believe that? Well, Charlie. Here's a pro tip vanilla soft serve tippy cow right here. It's creamy, dreamy and goes down smoother than on Karen's stories about her cats. I do love her cats, man. I love that Karen's cats. Yeah, I mean, all you got to do is pour it over ice, pass it around the tree, and suddenly everyone is getting along.

It's a holiday miracle, Charlie. It is a holiday miracle. It's not, though. It's just tippy cow. It's not, though. It is tippy cow. Made with Real Wisconsin Cows. Trip responsibly.

Tippy cow rum cream. Copyright 2025 Midwest custom bottling, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, all rights reserved. Miles, it's the holiday season. And there's these last minute shopping runs, snowpeck parking lots and a one-way lane that you thought you could squeeze right through. But could you know, no, a mirror hits on something and the mirror shatters and what do you see just a broken reflection of what once was and what once was? was the side of an automobile.

And now there's a big dollar sign, flashing, flashing, flashing. But could you have even been injured in it? Yes, more money piling up. What do you do, Miles? You call Nicola. 185-5-9-nicolite with a tea. Hi, is this Charlie? This is Charlie.

well charlie i want to introduce you to charlie hi charlie hey charlie what's up oh man this is going to be a quick star dude charlie is going to be a disaster this is freaking great what are you talking about all right charlie what's up miles see who am i talking to you guys will never know all right you're going to be barley charlie and then Charlie you'll be Charlie I got to be Barley dude I was here first I'm coming in I guess I'm taking over

where are you from Charlie from Vermont the old northeast kingdom we'll call him Vermont Charlie yeah Varley VC we'll call him Varley Varley there you go all right Varley you're from Vermont

why'd you call it today well I believe my question was I think, you know, so my name's Charlie B. B. as well, Charlie Balcom, you're Charlie Barron's. So I was wondering, do we have the same middle initial? Because how crazy would that be? On the count of three, say it. One, two, three, R.

C. Fuck, dude. Well, you have the same middle initial as my grandfather. Oh, that's right. My best. I guess you have the same initials of my grandfather. Oh, what's his mail name? Randy.

mine's Robert after Grandpa Bob Almost All right So your middle name is what It's Connick Connick? That's not real Yeah

Come on that is not real Connick I know That's what I thought What's your real mental name rectum disease or something My It's my great uncle's name

Connick Oh well Harry Connick Junior Yeah never mind That's cool That's cool Not real It's an old West name

I'm a cowboy. Conic. Yeah, I caught that Connick last night. It's short for Iconic, actually. Smoke the Conic. So why'd you call in today, Conic? Conic, we're calling you Connick now, Charlie. All right, all right.

Well, I think, isn't Vermont basically Wisconsin, but smaller? I don't know anything about Vermont. so basically we have mostly cows here we make a lot of maple syrup and we all like to wear flannel or plaid okay so this is a state your case then yeah are you trying to get vermont inducted into the midwest today conic i've always i always whenever i listen to your podcast i'm lincoln you know i don't live in the midwest but all this sounds like home like all this sounds like pretty much the same shit I deal with every day. So I feel like New England, yeah, maybe it's a little different.

But Vermont is pretty much Wisconsin. I've also never been to Wisconsin. So, you know, it's just pure speculation. But I do think I have a very solid, solid taste here. Okay. Miles, should Vermont be part of the Midwest? You're here. State's your case. We both like cheese.

We both have not a few people, but not man. any either as far as I'm aware it's cold uh you talk about the weather a lot you know it's it's not the heat it's the humidity we say that a lot here as well and it's fucking true holy shit it's even humid when it's cold i don't even know how that makes any sense because you're closer to the sea than we are there's lots of um there's lots of cheese people who go crazy you ever heard of uh cabot cheese cabbage cabbage cheddar I've heard of Cabot cheese. Cabot cheese. Cabot cheese. Okay. Maybe I have. Sometimes the name's on a cheese. Next time you go into the supermarket. Look for cabot cheese. That's made right here in Cabot.

Yeah. Okay. About the other day. That's like Colby cheese. We make it here in Colby. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. You do. Yes, I guess so. It's the plaid cheese. It's a plaid cheese? Yeah, yeah. They got different color. flat wrappings on them. It's like blue and the best one is seriously sharp. It's red.

And then they've got the green for the bitches. So can I curse on this? You do love cheese, don't you? Surprisingly, no. No? You know so much about it. Come on now. Well, everyone else likes cheese a lot.

I eat it, but, you know, I can go without. Sure. Yeah, okay. You guys got ice cream there, right, Ben, Jerry? Oh, yeah. We got the creamies. What? The creamies.

You don't know about this. No. So I think it might be only in Vermont that we call soft serve creamies. We got to get your maple creamy. You get your blueberry, maple twist creamy. You get your, you know, the classic chocolate and vanilla creamy. But the real classic is maple, you know. How could you go wrong?

I love maple. I love a good maple creamy. I just anything maple cream. are you a big maple guy my god you put it on your potatoes well maple on the home fries yeah you know you got it but my one fries yeah that that's a thing you get some sweet fries oh dude i had that the other day my lord wow actually it was my birthday it was yeah he made my birthday kind of happy birthday dude how old you turn 20 20 years old big 2 oh he's can't even drink yet legally, Miles. He's calm in here,

bellied up to the bar. That's a very Wisconsin thing right there. Yeah. Well, you know, you can't drink legally, but... Well, if your parents are... Let's just say, I had a great birthday. What was that? Connick, you are just... You're funny. You're funny. You're funny guy.

That's what they tell me. Connick, what's going on in your life? You got a, uh, you got a, uh, a significant other? I don't got a sweetie, unfortunately. There's not a lot of fish in the sea around here. Yeah. But I'm at work.

Where are you working? I do landscaping for the moment. Should be going back to doing stuff, the fiber optic splicing. That was pretty fun. I'll be back at that in the spring. All right. Good for you. You go around, bury those cables.

I connect the cables. I can survive as a whole community with internet. Mm-hmm. A little machine fuses it together and all that, good stuff. You're just on splicing duty, huh? Well, you know, and hanging in them up and stuff. Yeah. I watched TikTok the other day about how fiber works.

And apparently it's just the inside of fiber is just like glass. Yeah. And they just beam light from the fiber cable. It's a light thing. Yeah, they shoot a laser through it. Yeah. that's if you had to tell if you had to go miles if you had to guess

how fiber works I wouldn't in a million years have came to that conclusion and that's why I don't work on stuff like that yeah I didn't I had no idea it was even a thing until about March of this year

what's good you're splicing them then it's so easy it's not hard at all as long as you can just freaking do it right So you're looking for a gal at all? You're looking? I mean, yeah. I'm not looking, you know.

So you said the dating pool is tough in Vermont. Especially where I live, where it's all, I live in the, about 45 minutes from the Canadian border. And there's, I feel like there's more turkeys than there are people here. You know, I think either everyone I meant to went to freaking school with all my life or they're, you know, you. you know too much about them from their snap car gobbler's up there yeah exactly didn't want to say it you know i'm trying to be nice with my words here but yeah yeah hey i got a question how many times have you approached a girl in person to uh ask her on date uh i don't really where are you going to meet them i don't i don't i don't i can't go to a bar the girls don't go fishing so

you fish, too. Oh, yeah. How's some fishing out there in Vermont? Trout, it was great until the drought. Just trout? No trout in the drought? Well, the river's dried up. Damn.

What kind of trout? They were all, it was like two feet deep in most of them. But for the month of August, it's beautiful, beautiful rainbow. Got some good Lakers. I got like one brown, but yeah, mostly trout. Got a little bit of catfish if you go down south. Okay. No bluegill, perch, bass.

I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's all that. Okay. But you're more of a river fisher. I like to go further. I like the trout. I like the way they fight.

They really got a good fight on them, you know. Okay. So we can throw the fishing in the category, too. That sounds pretty good. Yeah, exactly. There's fishing. There's snow. There's a lot of snow.

There's a lot of trees. There's trees there, right? Not Fargo, yeah. There's trees and Pargo. I'm looking at them right now. We just had to plant them. They weren't just there when we found it, you know? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. To bring your B-Y-O-T. Well, they're, hey, these days are all pretty now. This was all clear-cut at one point. Okay. Well, I think we got a lot of solid things in here. What's the main sports teams

out there in Vermont? Well, we got the Patriots. You guys are Patriots fans? And there's the Lakers, too. I went to school. Some guys were into the Lakers. That's basketball. How do you get the Lakers being out in Vermont? How's that the basketball

team you guys chose? I, uh, well, I think maybe it's because their family was from other places. Oh, this isn't a generalized thing. This is just a few people. He knows a couple of guys that like the Los Angeles. And that might be the most Midwest response to that question that we could have had right there.

It's looking good for you, Connie. Yeah, while we're at it, do you know any Jaguar fans? You know, maybe if I asked him, I would know. Yeah. So you're, you want, I can tell you want to put Vermont in. I'm not completely sold, Charlie. Well, you know, if you came here, you would agree. Maybe we should come out there.

I think you should. Yeah, I would say that there's not, we're not going to decide if Vermont is in yet. We're just going to put like a suspension or a extension on this. TVD. Until we get out there and get some boots on the ground. Yep, we need it. We need another meeting of the minds on this one. Conica, you haven't fully sold us.

How does that make you feel? You know, it's not the best feeling, but it ain't, it ain't the worst. My boss said, you know what, I'll pay you two, five o'clock, because I'm going to go hunting. So I'm on the clock, but I ain't working. So, you know what? That's actually, I mean, I've never, you didn't even have to come up with an excuse. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, I worked, I worked until about two.

So you're out hunting right now? Yeah, I'm just sitting. my car he's hunting oh okay I said I'm hungry it's the same shit we used to pull my dad you know we knew he was out of town we would just mosey around the job set

because we knew he wasn't going to show up and get pissed at us you know yeah same shit yeah it's always a good day when when your boss isn't there because it's hard to keep track of how far you should really get in a day and regardless of how far you got

it's not going to be far enough for the boss anyways. That's true. So where's the motivation? Yeah, that's the truth in it. That's the truth. Now I feel bad for saying that we're not completely sold. Like he made me feel bad. He made you feel bad? Yeah, you should feel bad.

He said, just doesn't, he's like, yeah, it doesn't feel good. And now I feel bad. See, and that's like, why am I withholding? Like, just let's let them in. You just let them in? Yeah, you're just being, you're sitting here being prejudiced over somewhere you ain't ever been. That's true.

No, I was not prejudiced. I said I actually want to go and experience it. Did I not? That's like what we're supposed to do when you can front, you try and put yourself in their shoes. That's what you try to do in this world. It is. Just whatever you do, don't come in October.

Why October? Because that's when all the leaf peeper peepers come here and fricking ruin everything. The leaf peepers? Yeah, they go, oh my God, look for pretty colors. Let me stop in the freaking side of the highway and take pictures. I like that. Oh, it's going to break down lane for a reason.

You know what? If you're not crying, you're broken. I think having a name like leaf peepers. Yeah, that might have just sold it right there. Sold now. Should we do it? Yeah, here, here, Vermont. Oh, you want to hear the other names we have for out-of-staters?

Yes. We got the Massachusetts, and then we got the Connecticut cunts. Yeah, I think that the Massachusetts, shits. Massachusetts. Massachusetts, or the Massholes. that's that's easier one to say but that's pretty and then yeah you got the Connecticut cunts

New Hampshire they're basically just the same state so I don't know if we have the name for them and then I like to call the Canadians the quebs because we got we got this beautiful lake that they always come to and they freaking they heat it up I swear to God when I was a kid this lake

was freaking cold all year long and now you go there in August and it's warm and cloudy you're like yeah what the hell was people doing here So you're saying that the Canadians changed the weather pattern. They know all of their warm bodies sitting in the lake and pissing in it. It heated it up. It must be that.

There's no other explanation for a lake in August getting heated up. Then the Canadians come in the pissing it. And they freaking park all over the road. You can never park there anymore. They don't say hi to your. mother when she's tried to be nice to them really the canadians are nice is that what you know they're so rude yeah you got you got you got eastern canadians though they're different than the rest of the country you know it's yeah yeah i think it's only the ones from quebec yeah i like frenchies i just don't like

french are assholes what is he saying i don't know they're quibs okay okay it's not a slur because it's not popularly known. You don't have to bleep it out. It's not a scler yet. Not yet. I'm trying to make it one. You said New Hampshire is basically the same thing as Vermont. You know, do you get that a lot?

Like, why aren't you guys just one? Why are you guys just new Vermont? It's because the politics are like the opposite there. Yeah. And we all hate each other, I think. I don't know I think I'm supposed to hate them What's your slur

What's your slur for New Hampshire people I think it's just New Hampshire I don't even need to make I don't know the beer's cheaper there Those will be other for that I think of fireworks there You can't buy fireworks here That's a very good wise thing

Knowing where you can and can't buy fireworks Yeah Because like Exactly People that live in big cities They don't even think think about fireworks no yeah but you if you know like which state has the higher tax on fireworks that's next level right there and the higher tax on beer and liquor it's way way

cheaper in hampshire oh live free or die baby exactly and you don't have to wear a seatbelt there sounds like you might want to move to new hampshire maybe but they're freaking uh what is it They don't have, they don't have taxes on, they don't have sales tax. So they tax you out to ass on property taxes. Oh. And labor. So it's kind of hit or miss. You know, I guess you get a free housing job.

And yeah. You are a very informed 20 year old. When there's not a lot to do besides fish, you kind of got to like fill your brain up with stuff. Yeah, there's not a lot to do. So you just check, you just check the tax code on neighboring. States. That's what I was doing when I was 20. Hey, I didn't check yet. You just hear. I just, you hear. He's just picking up what they say at the bars that he's never been to.

Well, hey, I used to go to the bar to play pool. We know. Yeah. So you never approached any girl at that bar? God, no, I was way too drunk. Okay. Oh. And they're also, I don't know. I, I, I, I, I, I, talk to a girl at a party I went to. And then we- Tell us about that, yeah. Well, yeah, we were just talking and hanging out.

And then a fight broke out and we all had to leave because the cops came. But then we did smoke one time together. So that was fun. This is like a Midwest love story. You're drinking underage at a house party. The cops show up. And then you lose contact of each other.

And you just, the whole movie is trying to find, each other again so you can just smoke a bowl get this it was actually a field party and there was a food truck there except the food truck was just hot dogs what kind of

field parties you're doing in Vermont you got to you got a hot dog stands dude I was mind blown honestly it was like the college party yeah and they had they had a beer stand too five dollars for a bed solo cop

I said hell no So we went to the store and got two dollar beers from there. Yeah, but I think it's that you bought $5 for a cup and you can drink as much as you want. No, it was like $5 per fail, I think. Are you sure about that? I don't know. I didn't stick around to try it out. $5 for a cup?

Bullshit goes by as a 30 rack for 20 bucks. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, well, we'll let you in. let's let's let's let's love vermont in it's in conic congratulations jared we should do a graphic of all the states we've said yes to letting in the midwest and we can highlight and just put out a graphic which just says the midwest and just all the states that are highlighted that'll fire some people up all right dude well state better thank me yeah well i appreciate you calling in today man good to talk to you oh yeah sure you calling me yeah for sure

Hey, keep representing the name Charlie out there, all right? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, don't know it. Don't be giving us a bad name, okay? I'll do my best. All right. Will you be good out there? Good luck shooting whatever you're killing.

All right, well, tell your folks I says hi. All right, tell your boss, we says keep letting you splice. I will. All right, see you, Connick. Well, Charlie, is that another episode of the Bellied Up podcast? Miles, we got another one in the tank. Yeah. We do. That last guy even kind of talked like you a little bit at times.

I know. He did have some mannerisms. It could be your cousin. You never know, Miles. I got family everywhere. The real question is, does he wear glasses with barely have a prescription? See, I knew that that was, it's bothering you. It's sitting in the crawl a little bit, Miles.

And that's why I didn't want to bring it up, but you made me. That's a big truck. God, God. little weiner town anyways miles it's been fun hanging with you here it's been great and uh you guys hey don't forget if you're in fargo you gotta come check out the new quick star in town and don't forget to close your gas cap all right see what that lights plate says what let's go must work at kfgeo k who fucking go all right so many tip your bartender we'll see you next one guys. Bye-bye.

Okay, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now. Toodaloo.