Bellied Up - Canadian is Upset With Charlie #163

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Tickets to Bellied Up LIVE: https://www.pabsttheatergroup.com/events/detail/bellied-up-2025

Milwaukee, guess what? We're doing another Bellied Up Live in your town. We're coming to Milwaukee on August 27th. The event starts at 8 p.m. Again, we're doing Bellied Up Live in Milwaukee next. And the doors open at 7 p.m. Me, Charlie, Billy Deuce will be there. It's going to be a good fun time. So if you want to come see the boys at Bellied Up Live, get your tickets for the August 27th show. and the venue is the Viverium. So we're going to be at the Vyverium. And I think I said it right, Jared.

So you guys got to come check us out. Hope you enjoy the episode. But again, Bellied Up Live, baby. Go get your tickets now. Welcome back to another episode of the Bellied Up podcast. We're still bellied up here at Will's Northwoods, Wisconsin Bar in Chicago. We're again behind enemy lines.

Charlie, how are you today? Miles, I'm enjoying a beautiful lineys hazy beer here at Will's Northwoods. I think they sell the most lineys in all of Chicago. I don't know that, but representing Wisconsin good in this bar. They got a canoe on the wall here, which is pretty sweet. You know if you got canoe on the wall in Chicago. That's a Wisconsin bar. Charlie, what kind of fish are you catching with those lures above your head? Oh, look at that. Man, old man alive. That's as big as a musky. I've caught muskies smaller than those gores. Man eaters, Miles, man eaters. That's great. Well, Charlie, it is now August. Yeah, it is. What's the dates in August that we are currently in? Like first week, second week.

Oh, Miles. You don't know what day it is again. I just, you know, I just show up. Yep. And here we are. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The dog days of summer. So Jared has been asking us to do this segment for now a month and a half. And we said, you know what, Jared, 4th of July, it's a little early to be talking about the first day of school. Back to school. I still, when I hear the words, I get a sense of overwhelming depression that washes over my brain. Yeah, okay. Well, let's dive into this, Charlie. Because the question is, is what was it again?

the best favorite thing about the first day of school now yes i think that there is dread as a kid right you're like all right but then once you walk through the doors of school on the first day i didn't i wouldn't necessarily say that i felt dread i still felt dread did you yeah for weeks on end because for me it's like you know uh it's like to me first day of school sometimes feel like when you are you arrive somewhere and all your family's waiting at the airport to pick you up, you know, all your buddies are waiting at their lockers and you're walk in and you're high-fiving, you know, slapping each other's ass, you're, wow, you're sack tapping each other, you know, booking each other, you know, slamming your buddy's books on the

ground, running away. I think you were more popular than I was. I think that's what it was. Or I was just a bully, I guess. Could have been. Taping and booking people left and right. You sound like the reason I dreaded going back to school. Okay. All right. No. Well, I don't know what it was. I didn't really like school, you know?

It was hard. I mean, I didn't like the school aspect of school, but I liked the social aspect of school. Yeah, it's not bad, I suppose, you know. I just like summer so much. I like doing flips off the diving board, you know? Yeah. And when the pool closed, that was a sad day, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. So what is the best part, though, of the, the first day of school leaving yeah leaving school best well i guess also like the idea that um you know your notebooks are fresh so it's like oh this year i'm not going to just shove this thing in my backpack the optimism of like yeah this is my year to stay organ my folders are going to actually only have the things for that class in that folder now these days kids don't even have folders that's another story but back in my day miles you know if you had a nice crisp notebook and the ends of the notebook the wiry end wasn't getting clung up on another notebook you know squeezing that

wire rim tight cover was still on the no cover was still on that there were you know new pens the fine point pens you know and you actually had pens you didn't need to borrow one yet you know i mean you know where did all the pens and pencils go throughout like i was a in the same boat. And there's the like school split up into two people. One, they never lose a pen and then the other group like us, Charlie, is we only

lose a pen. We, yeah, we had a pen and now it's gone. It was almost like how many pens that I would lose. It would be like, all right, I write with it and then I just throw it over my shoulder and then not know where it went. Where did they all go? I mean, I think they must

have gone into the pencil cases of the good students. You always knew the good student because she had all her and I mean that wasn't she a little sexist but you know it was true accurate at the time she had all the color-coded pens and pencils and and the nice sharpies who I like remember those those markers you could smell the smellables yeah the sharpies the black sharpies no miles miles out there call like when we we did dare and they were like some people even get high painting their fingernails with white out the next day everyone was white outing their fingers sniffing those things trying

to get through math class with less brain cells um and that those were the days those were the days but no i'm i'm happy i'm not in school anymore but if you're still in school me too because you're 38 be a big old waste of money at this point but uh you know i was ahead in the class you know i was a head in the clouds kind of kid miles you know some school just wasn't made for people like me yeah I was just always looking for the the easiest

way through the next rabble to rouse huh yeah you know I was always looking for like what's the least amount of work I can do and then there was always one guy you just cheated off of and he just was for whatever reason just willing to let you cheat off his paper I know

I remember do you remember Iowa basics tests. Did you guys have those? Standardized testing? Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I didn't do well third grade. And then fifth grade, I did well because Katie Elverman was sitting across for me and I copied every single answer. And I got like a 99% on it. And then in seventh grade, my mom thought I had a learning disability because I did so much worse because I wasn't sitting across from Katie Elberman. She's like, is everything okay with you? I was like, I don't know. Just I wasn't feeling good that day mom yeah it's like crush it in fifth grade so they put you in the like accelerated learning in sixth grade it's like forest gump at the white house you know you just shouldn't

be there but he is that was me that was me yes it's cool it wasn't wasn't i was good at writing i remember i wrote this one thing about the squirrel that died and it got a claim it got a claim a claim like critical acclaim. Yeah. My teacher liked it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I like how he's like, I wrote one thing that my teacher liked. Yeah. There was one thing I did my teacher liked. Yeah. Were you the class clown

or were you not? No, I was like in the music. I was into Everclear, you know, the band Ever Clear. And me and my... And the alcohol

Ever Clear as well? No. No, not that. I didn't... I would ever tell you about there as a kid, you know, because there's always

kids like there's always like the one out group kid that kids that are like trying to drink at school. I don't know if you had that at your. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One kid got caught with a shampoo bottle in his like trapper keeper. Yeah. filled with like vodka or something. Nice. And we just all were thinking like that is stranger to be drinking out of a shampoo bottle than if you just put vodka in a regular water bottle. Right. What was wrong with Gatorade? Yeah. Can mask the smell a little bit. Yeah, we were just like, that was maybe the dumbest thing you could have done. Obviously, he's getting caught.

Yeah, only other thing that would have been dumber is if you put it in an old bottle of bleach, you know? Why is this kid drinking bleach? Why is this kid drinking shampoo? So was he, did you get caught taking a swig out of a per plus? Yeah. Did you ever drink out of it? No. What was the first drink you had, Miles?

Do you remember? I remember, uh, I think. think we just stole some beer out of my dad's fridge at the lake got in trouble for that how old were you i was like 14 oh yeah maybe yeah yeah my my cousin tom stole my uncle john's red bulls or not red bulls red dogs you ever have red dog do you think that red bull is alcohol charlie no no red dog red dog um what an original um i don't think they make it and I just remember the same, that same year, you know, a buddy of ours, his parents were moving to a new house and they had moved out already, but they hadn't sold the house yet. So he threw

a party in their just empty house. And all I remember is later one of the girls just puked up all of her mac and cheese in the Dairy Queen parking lot. It's the only thing I remember. Well, at least it wasn't on the freshly clean carpeting. And we were all standing like, I don't think she chewed she inhaled it we've all been there we've all inhaled a bowl of mac and cheese before miles quit acting like you're better than her you know that's the weirdest time in life I feel like is like age 14 to 17 it is wild man it's coming of age you know and things are weird things are growing in places that they didn't grow before you know except for you you had a full beard by the time you were in eighth grade and um yeah it's pretty bizarre oh what a time to be alive though

what were you doing for fun as a kid what was what was like every day you had to be doing this like in the summer yeah um we we would go outside i i was a variety kid okay i was doing like one thing okay you know we'd do some rollerblading we'd go biking we'd play like uh like army in the backyard you know with your brothers some airsoft guns no not my mom was buying us serious i've got we just used the old-fashioned stick and pretended truly back in the day yeah nice nice um we played video games you know we just we did it all we played bass we played sports baseball you know everything it's fun to be a kid man it's fun to be a kid i remember um i begged my mom to get me the the the roller blades that like had like the little notch in

between the wheels so you can yeah grind the k-2s yeah so i got a pair of those were you good at grinding um my buddy had a grinding rail in his driveway and i remember i skated over there and i went for it yeah jumped up went for the grind absolutely wiped out right on my ass and i never tried it again i was like this isn't worth it right i mean it's it's not it's it's a tough thing to do especially then you're probably not wearing any pads or nothing i just felt like i was too uh well adverse in cause and effect to be into extreme sports. I understood physics just a little too much. Yeah, you knew two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

And something's going to win. Usually it's a pavement. Okay, if I do the math, if I try and grind on this a hundred times, I'm going to fall at least 98 times. And you know what? That's just not worth it. Yeah. I'm kind of with you.

I never got those. you know 12 kids you kind of get what you got you know and so i had uh sort of uh i tried grinding on doing the side grind on my roller blades oh yeah yeah yeah you know where and i i you know and then i tried making um my bike with coaster brakes be like a bmx bike and i put pegs on it you know got made fun of for that because like i still had coaster brakes you know but i had pegs on the back of the bike. Pigs were expensive, man. I mean, could you imagine even like no one, has anyone ever used pegs to grind a bike on something? Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. You did? No, but people do. I mean, I tried. I understand this like, oh, yeah, this is what they're

for, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone successfully grind a bike before. I don't think that's what they're for. What they're for is so you can have a passenger on your bike. Yeah, they stand on your pegs. Oh, I know. But I think they're made for. grinding no they're made for giving a passenger ride they're a utilitarian thing and then kids were like oh we can grind with these things you know it's kind of like the dances in eighth grade anyway a little bumping and grinding we had to leave room for the holy spirit we did too but but but then that you know you start playing that j z back that ass up and uh was that jz no that wasn't jz anyways

All right. Well, happy back to school for everyone. I think it's still, is like a couple weeks away. Yeah. Jared wanted us to do this segment. And so we did. So re-listen to this on the way to school on the first day. Should we take some callers? Let's do it. Miles and Charlie, this is Blake here. Blake, what's cooking my guy? How we live in? Oh, I'm living great. Just here at work right now, slaving away. Okay. For my understanding. you are the guy who can play a little instrument for the boys. Is that correct? Oh, that I can. That I can. You really know what you're doing. What was the instrument again?

We got ourselves a mandolin here. Yeah. Oh, I remember now. That was really good. I got it with me at work. I got it with me at work. If you want me to play you to something. Absolutely. Yeah. Is it going to be, is it going to be two and a half seconds long like the last song you played us or no? he's going to get it he's gone he's gone all right well that sucks I'm back now I'm back

okay all right what kind of mandolin are you playing gibson I'm playing Ibanez it's called and there we go and Ibanez all right let's hear what we got yeah what's song you're going to play

what do you want to hear I'd like to hear an original all right sounds good Hell yeah. All right. There we go. I can see some hippies bobbing their head to that. There you go. All right.

And now I want you to do a mandolin solo for us. And I want you to shred our faces with it. Oh, okay. Okay. Let's see what I can do here. Like, like, Oh,

Charlie doesn't have a face anymore. You know, it's gone. You made me. Hey, there you go. There you go. There you go. Nice. So what's your job that you just do that as a hobby? Or are you a music teacher or what?

No, no, no. I run a custom woodworking business. There you go. Nice. That's cool. That's what I'm doing full time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you made your own mandolin yet? I'm in the process, actually, right now. Pretty sweet, man. Pretty sweet. That is a process. What do you guys make? I do a lot of high-end custom tables and furniture. sure that's our main bread and butter around here oh we got a wood guy here go on i love a good wood guy there's all you got to be making a killing in the financial advising business i feel like those fuckers are always putting up new buildings and they're always wanting a high-end furniture yeah something custom something custom go right here and it'll be good we'll have our board meetings

is that is that your main clientele that is the main clientele we got a lot of custom homes and custom cabins up here up here in the northwood. Oh, what town? Um, well, race, we're based out of old Claire here, but, um, a lot of towns up north where all the lakes are and people have their high end cabins, those high end people, you know. Hey, question for you. He's calling them high ends. I just cut down, um, a white cedar and the middle is a little rotted. So does that mean I've got it slabbed out, but if the middle is rotted, um, um, And it's rotted up a pretty decent way. Can I still get some decent slabs out of that?

It's just the middle or should I just, yeah, go. Absolutely. You can definitely get some good material out of that, for sure. Okay. And how would you just mill it or they've got those chainsaw rigs where you can kind of do it with a chainsaw? How would you slab it out?

I've seen both. You could definitely have a milled or use the chainsaw rig too. I've done the chainsaw rig. It works just as fine. Does it? I might get a chainsaw rig. that would be kind of sweet nice what would be awesome what would you i mean i was also thinking maybe cutting in half and then chiseling out the the middle and um doing a little canoe what are you

think about that oh oh that'd be is a cat's meow right there let me tell you yeah i probably don't have any business doing that because uh but uh cool all right so i can do something with that what's your favorite thing you've ever made with wood oh favorite thing we do a lot of fun furniture. So we're doing a lot of fun tables and fun chairs and things like that. Obviously, we're making high-end custom tables here and furniture for people who still eat dinner off their laps in front of the TV. My goodness, we run a woodworking shop here. I buy a stack of lumber that costs more than my truck and then dream to one day build a table that doesn't end up under laundry and Amazon boxes, I guess. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of what my kitchen

table is for. Just a collection for all of our junk. And then we eat at the, island you're breaking this guy's heart miles you're telling them you're eating on on uh what granite or something i mean quartz i got a quartz countertops i got to be a thorn in your side yeah it's okay i mean i'm just trying to convince the folks that handmade doesn't mean cheap and quirky i mean you're paying for the blood sweating tears and all the swearing it took me to yell at the one board for sure yeah are you a one man shop i'm a one man shop over here for sure Yeah. That's kind of nice. No overhead. Yeah, what's the name of your business?

My Blake's Woodworking. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, or Blake's Woodworking.com. Oh, there's a plug. What's your first name? Blake. What is your business? What do you do? We do a lot of high-end custom tables and custom furniture. Blake's woodworking next. Is that how you name your business? There you go. Yeah. Yeah. You should have, you should have named it Blake's high-end woodworking.

there's a thought right there premium it's all about marketing you know he should have said you should have thrown premium on there I'd consider a redo on that premium yeah you guys only know how to market that's for sure

that's right thank what is the weirdest thing you've built like what is anyone like asked for like a sex dungeon table or anything like that because I know those high end people they act all hoity tooty and act like they got it

all together, but they got some demons that they deal with. Some dogs in them. No, no sex dungeon tables. We know. We got a lot of weird stuff sometimes. I've had a client asked me for like an urn that shaped like a Ferrari. That was kind of interesting for their dog.

A Ferrari, Earn? For their dog. Yeah, a lot of weird things like that. I don't know. We get a lot of weird request, but it's all fun for sure. Do you tell what's some other weird stuff you've made. Oh, I'm trying to name. We made a weed pipe. once. That was interesting.

How much did you charge for that? I don't know if I want to say for sure. That was for a friend. That's for sure. Oh, okay. You did it pro bono. That's how it goes. Yeah. We do a lot of weird things, but it always ends up pretty good. A lot of fun signs for people's houses and things. Do you dabble in the epoxy game? You know, I see a lot of videos of working companies, you know, where there's, like, that's what you could do in the, where the

rotted out, you get that all out, put some, some epoxy, do you do any of that? There's an idea for our miles. Yeah, we do a lot of epoxy. We have done a lot of epoxy before. It's kind of going out of style, I feel like, but I do. I feel like the epoxy thing is something that's very, very dated of like, oh, that's so like 20, like teens, you know, 2019. Yeah. Yeah. What is the new hot? thing in the woodworking business? Oh, hot thing? I don't know. There's a lot of hot tools

out there that really gets you humming. A lot of hot wood, for sure. A lot of wood from, we buy a lot of our wood from South America and Africa and things like that. A lot of the exotic woods, as you would say. Oh, yeah. I built a fake beam in my house. I saw it. It looks nice.

The wood was called Black Limba. You ever worked with any Black Limba before? I've heard of that. I haven't worked of that before. Definitely heard of that. It's sure a slick looking grain on that thing. We didn't even stain it. We liked it so much.

Oh, that's great. And partly because I didn't want to stain it. Yeah. So it was a lot of like, oh, honey, doesn't that look nice raw? I think we should leave it raw.

That's how you got a kid too. Leave the wood raw. The rustic and raw look is just, everybody wants a rustic and raw for sure. That's true. That and whitewashing of wood, I feel like is going on a lot. like the white

like that grinds my gears that just grinds my gears right there I hate the weight washing I know but the people gotta be requesting that from you from those high end homes what do you mean white they are they are like like you basically stay in it white but then you like wash

it off so it's just like it looks yeah it looks rustic or whatever yeah is that is that the process that's the process yeah I like doing stuff with like found wood you know Like, I made a table out of just some random wood that was in my basement, you know, and it looks

janky as hell, but it's sturdy. It's not going anywhere. You know, you put some. Go ahead. Well, those are the best, though. You can find, yeah, you find the wood, and it's got a great story behind it. Yeah. I mean, I'm not sure anything beside it was in my basement.

But, yeah, if that wood could talk, let me tell you. I used to work in the, in the violin business. I worked for a bowmaker. And I was his shop hand. Yeah. And he had some Brazilian rosewood back before it was banned. And he had a stack of that stuff. And he won't let me get too close to it.

Because, you know, that first of all, you weren't at the time. Yeah, you couldn't cut any more of that down. It was sort of like he had it back when he was working in Brazil, actually, back in the 80s. So they banned it because they didn't want people cutting those trees down. They didn't want them cutting the trees down. Yeah. it's like ivory like you can't have that stuff anymore so um but yeah they he had some exotic woods that i i think were no longer allowed but um i wasn't allowed to get too close because i

had a problem with spilling yeah i mean if i got anything of value i'm definitely just trying to keep charlie away from it i like there's nothing against you yeah your track record isn't awesome yeah i know it wasn't yeah but charlie's what did you say earlier you're like uh you you mess up couple things and usually one or two things you mess up is fine but when you string three of them together you're that's where you start having issues yeah you string three charlie's together and you're in a deep you you are in the wilderness with no phone let me put you that way you're using your uh you're uh you're you're using the sun to navigate your way back home and and that's to me before so um yeah you know you can't pull too many charlie's uh in a row that's the take

home lesson there yeah that's true i understand that yeah the nice thing about woodworking i've found and i'm just kind of getting back into it um i was doing it as a kid but you know things can be a little caliwampus and that's just part of the character of it at least that's what i've resigned to because everything i do is a little caliwampus you know that's for sure is that the correct way to say that isn't it kitty wampus no wampus it's caliwampus i think it's caliwampus i don't know what it is in wisconsin it's caliwampus and fargo maybe it's like caddy corner or kitty corner i've never heard caddy corner i've never heard catty corner in my life neither have i i call it kitty corner but then some people says it's

catty corner and i says i don't know you know so here we are again it's it's what Catawampus. Catawampus. Catawampus. What does it mean? What's the definition? Catawampus means a skew, awry, or crooked can also refer to something positioned diagonally. What's the origin? Yeah. Kittywampus. Miles, you can't just be wrong anymore. We got a kittywampus is how people wrongly say cattywampus.

Is that what it says? In informal. Yours is informal. Okay. So we got the slang down. You got that slang. So, Blake, what do you build in today in the shop? We are building lots of things. We're building a table today.

We're building a DJ stand for a local DJ vendor. That's going to be pretty sweet. Okay. What goes into that? Any special features? A lot of customized stuff. So he gave me his DJ equipment and we're just kind of measuring it all up and matching it to size to make sure everything looks nice.

We're making it out of some black. walnut. Ooh, like me a black walnut. That's pretty cool. I like that a lot. Yes, Miles, I'm a little bit up. Hey, Blake, let me ask you this. I got a cabin, okay?

And I got the cabin. Let's say I got a deal. All right. But in the cabin, you know, you don't have to say that you got, you can just buy a cabin, you got to say, I got a deal. You don't have to feel guilty about buying a cabin. I do feel guilty. You don't have to say that you, I got a cabin, but I didn't buy it, pay full price, okay?

Well, that's what I'm saying. But part of the reason I'm saying that, Miles, is because there's trouble in the cabin. So on a, on a warmed, it's made out of ungraded lumber. And on a, on a humid day, the floors and the, it can stick. Your feet is sticking. So I think that there's beads of sap seeping out of that wood. and have you encountered that do we know how to fix that because because if it's a hot human day when I wake up I can't get to the bathroom

because my feet are stuck yeah so I'm just there all day I started having to put food next to the bed yeah I mean I do have issues what would you recommend in that situation well that's a hard one to come back there I mean you could use a sap boil make some maple syrup or something, but that probably is the only thing I could think of. Does Charlie, does Charlie know what he's talking about? Can that even happen?

I don't know. I don't think he really does. My old is, sorry. Yeah, I mean, that seems far-fetched that is, that is, what is still leaking sap all these years later. I mean, that's what it looks like,

or maybe it's the finish that they used isn't very good. It could be the finish. Would a finish stick like that? Yeah, the finish could definitely stick like that for sure so do i just have to strip it and then um uh reseal it probably strip and reseal it yeah that's right and true method fuck all right thanks blake that helps and you're welcome i'm sorry for the bad new one so blake how much would you charge to strip

and reseal a cabin for a buddy of yours what's the buddy that he got on a discount don't remind you got a discount well yeah that's a that's for sure we get a lot of those oh it's a family friend's discount people ask for but yeah that's just how it goes all right so how much would charge I want to charge and I don't know I have to obviously look at it and see what's going on and take a look from there maybe a couple hundred bucks we'll see I don't know a couple hundred bucks sold sold it was going to take me two weeks on how big the square footage is for sure yeah yeah okay how many square feet you got i'm not exactly sure the square footage like a thousand square feet

oh there you go yeah that's i mean it's charge him a dollar a square foot perfect we'll do that all right cool um okay well we appreciate it blake we also appreciate your little ditty that uh you sent us that uh we've been using at the end of the show it's pretty good it's a great ditty my guy yeah you guys need another one or anything or well i think we should end the call with you giving us a little another song for us as we head out to the next caller found good we'll do here we go We'll see you soon. Blake's a good guy.

I want to buy a table from Blake. You should have asked him. I don't have a need for a table right now. I just want to, you know? Where am I going to put it? Right under the beam. I have a table there already. Get rid of it.

You sound like my wife. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get me new. We moved in. She's like, I want a different couch. I'm like, there's nothing wrong with this couch. That's what I'm saying.

Randa wants a new couch. And I'm like, I think this one's fine. And I have another couch in the basement, too. I have two couches. You got two couches? Spendie guy, huh? You're going to go broke buying all these couches, Miles. I know.

How about you get a new couch? I'm liquid with couches. I'll take your old couch, and that'll be my new couch. Are you sure you want my old couch? Is that where the baby was made, Miles? Now, my kid has just spelt a lot of food on it. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's pretty gross.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe not, maybe not. He also does, you know, one thing as a parent, me and Anne aren't great at are making sure his nails are trimmed. He's just scratching. Cat scratch, Fiva. I just, I don't know if he's just, if every kid's like this, but his fingernails grow overnight, I feel like. He's a keratin guy. He must be hammering the keratin.

But it once in a while starts scratching the couch with his fingernails. We got that all over, too. Well, it's well-worn. But, yeah, I got to get a routine going down with his fingernails, but... I get it. Randa's got these four cats, man. This is how our lives are different. Dude, don't fucking compare my kid to Randah's hairless cats.

Only two are hairless. But they got these nails, dude. Some things are similar. This is a classic guy with no kids move right here. Oh, yeah. You have to parents. Well, fuck, let me tell you about my dog and misbehaves all this. time talking about cats dude um um yeah but you know cat or kids when you die no i now know how

dude dad feels i remember i would say stuff like you just said and then i had a kid and i was like you know dude dad was right it's you didn't even listen to what i had to say okay doesn't matter here on the plus side here's a difference when you die your kid gives you a funeral uh if i die the cats eat my eyeballs correct so uh that's a difference there but cats scratch things is the point I was making and these cats scratch the couch. So there you go. That's all I wanted to say, Miles. I didn't want to say that raising a cat is the same way

as raising a baby. Okay. I mean, they both have their pluses and minuses, but should we take another color? Let's do it. Miles, you ever go to one of them of state fairs, county fairs or whatever? You look at the tilt

whirl and you're like, is that thing bolted to the ground good enough? Yeah, I have I have thought that. Yeah. And then you get on that ride and you realize, oh, no, they forgot a couple of screws loose on this one. Yeah. Well, if you go flying off the tilt a world.

Especially after I have an 18-inch corn dog in my belly, just an absolute no-go on the tilt-a-world. I mean, that might do more damage than the tilt-a-world. Jared's looking at me like 18 inches is like. Good for you, dude. Yeah, one bite even, too. I put that thing down. That's impressive. That's how I got my wife.

of you saw me at the state fair if you're just one bite in an 18 inch corn dog and the corn dog went in and all that came out was the stick and if you're in that

situation and you happen to get injured in a corn dog related accident maybe a esophical situation like I avoided but I could have gone awry and you find yourself injured, you've got to give Nicolay law a call.

That's true. Give them a call. Any esophical injuries at the state fair. Any, any tilt the whirl, anything that could happen at a state fair. 1-8-5-5. Call, call Mr. Nicolais. Good morning, Joe Rogan podcast. He says, good morning, Joe Rogan podcast.

Miguel? Oh, we're on the line? We're on the line. What's going on? Excellent. You're a Canadian living in New Zealand and you got a bone to pick with me, Miguel. Oh, what do I ever, big fella? Okay. What's the bone? What's the bone? Because I try to not offend anyone, but here I am getting all these fights. Well, you know, you got to do it sometimes, right? Yeah.

Before I get going here, Miles, I just got to say. you're looking pretty sharp today. Okay, well, thank you. He is looking pretty sharp. Are you outside? Are you looking at me through the binoculars in the window? He's in your phone. Yeah.

He's in your phone. Are you my NSA agent that I, or a CIA agent on my phone? I'll take them all, really. Yeah. Well, thank you, sir. No, I, so. You know, I really like him. I really like this guy.

Yeah, I'm looking sharp. today too, Miguel. Yeah, well, you know what? I got bones to pick. So here we go. No, no. No, so listen here, I'm just working away and I'm doing my thing. And listening to you, lads, and it's a good time.

And I hear Charlie say here, he's a hippie, you know, one episode. And then the next episode, you know, he's talking to someone else. He says, you know, I'm a redneck. And I, and I says, holy frank, boys, you can't be one or the other. Now, I know there's some similarities here. You know, you could drink your morning Joe out of a mason jar or, you know, plant some food and whatever. But that's about it for some similarities. So, like, what's the deal here?

I see where you're going, Miguel. I see where you're going. Well, so, you know, brings up a good point that actually rednecks and hippies are much more similar than you think. They are. They don't shower. You know, they think everyone's out to get them. We like to live off the land if we can't, if it's convenient enough. They both will go hunt for their food at times.

Yeah, we'll both eat squirrel. No, the redneck's going for meat and the hippies looking for mushrooms. Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of look at it sort of through like the kind of a what, you know, what's best for the planet kind of vibe. That's where the hippie thing comes in, but some redneck stuff is good for the planet.

Like deer hunting, for instance, it's a very low carbon form of protein, and they're overpopulated. So, you know, deer hunting, in essence, if you're going to eat meat, period, deer is a pretty good meat to eat. As long as it doesn't have chronic wasting disease, you probably want to get it tested for that.

We're not sure. No, there's a bunch of rednecks out there. they're going to say that isn't real but you know they say that about um there's rednecks out there and say chronic wasting disease is not a thing there's deniers out there oh my god yeah are you came me any disease there is there's deniers you know and hippies by the way are i mean hippies are the reasons measles is back so i'm not exactly all on board with that you know but i i borrow from what i like from different cultures i'm uh you know i'm not into the communes i'm not fully buying into any one thought process so but sometimes i'm a redneck sometimes i'm a hippie sometimes

i'm a little biotch do we still say biotch so i i you know i got nothing i got nothing i'm not really great at anything and uh but i do a little bit of everything you know what i mean jack of all trades master anyway master of none there you go master of some So I'm just not sure which one yet. But I hope I could be a master of one at some point in my life, you know. I'm just not sure which one to commit to, you know. I'm a little wishy-washy. Is that your-

Yeah, yeah. So Miguel, how does a Canadian get out to New Zealand? Who are you on the run from? Yeah, so, you know, well, you see, we had a vote in Canada there, you know, not long after yours. Now I'm here. No. No, my wife's actually doing some finishing up school here. She was in university. And then they said, kindly enough, they're like, hey, if you want to do your last placement somewhere else in the world, just let us know. And she had a best friend here or has a best friend

here in New Zealand. And here we are. The middle of winter, and it's a balmy 59 degrees. So what are you doing? And what do you do that you get to just follow your wife around to wherever she will goes? Oh, Frigg. Well, I was, you know, uh, oh, shoot. So, you know, those little trees, air fresheners you put in your car? Yeah.

Black ice. So, yeah, you know, that's your choice, eh? No, no, it's just what I saw hanging in there. my producer puts him in my car for some reason and he likes the black eyes i can't i'm not a big fan of the smell personally i like my own stench right hippies don't shower right you got it you got it um so i i was a groundskeeper for uh the owner of that company up in uh canada there okay and uh it was unfortunate but i had to tell him that i was i was taken off and he uh he but uh yeah so i'm uh i'm i'm kind of a jack of all trades outside you know cut cut

the trees down you know mow the lawn is the whole deal so um but yeah no i had to up and leave and that was uh that was that was that was a hard uh choice there but i mean new zealand come on it's gorgeous yeah you been no i've seen the lord of the rings yeah Frodo lives there and shit like that that's cool man A little hobbit town

I would love for Charlie to dive more into Lord of the Rings What else happens in the Rings Other than Frodo Frodo I mean What else happens in Lord of the Rings My precious Okay

Am I precious guy Yeah Can I see the ring I can see the ring Oh, it's kind of like Joker meets Gollum or Gallum or whatever his name is. Have you seen a Gallum in the wild? Yeah, three or four, yeah, two or three, you know?

Good for you. Do you guys hunt golems down there? All the time, yeah. So are you a hippie or a redneck? Oh, redneck. Don't give me that. Come on. I can tell you know, this whole, this whole island's hippie.

I'll tell you that much for free. I've heard, though, New Zealand is not totally that. I've heard there's, like, you guys got some rednecks there, too. Because my buddy lived there being a doctor. And he said, and that buddy is, he's more on the hippies. He's kind of a hippie redneck too. But he said there's, there's, you got a lot of kind of, you know,

interesting political things going on there. Yeah, I could see that. I mean a lot of. what that means what does that even mean I said there's there's a lot of there's a lot of control going on here a lot of all a lot of control you're not a big government control guy okay he's a redneck here's what I mean come on here's the thing I don't understand about okay so I mean I mean I I basically that's it we don't want to be controlled like whatever side of the political spectrum you're on some people just feel like they're being controlled more by the government some

people feel like we're being controlled more by big business, but the commonality is none of us want to be controlled. And that's where my hippie comes in. I feel like big business is just controlling like the shit in our water. Like, I want to drink plastic, you know, but that's some the friggin oil companies, man. They're making these plastic bottles and pretending like it's recyclable. That's just not recyclable. I'm sucking down plastic all day. PFA, same deal, you know? That's my whole thing is I don't want to be controlled. That's what we got the similarity in here, Miguel. But then Charlie will go out to his cabin and crank up a gas powered chainsaw and start cutting some trees down. Well, yeah, absolutely. It's a balance, but the, uh, the, well, I mean,

I've, an electric chainsaw, have you used one miles? They don't exactly work that well on certain trees. So certain trees, you got to, you know, you got to use it. Otherwise, it's not safe. Because then, you know, it's just not cutting the way it should. You don't have the power to get in there. some trees you got to use a gas-powered chainsaw, but either way, you're cutting down the tree's dead. It's going to fall. I'd rather use the wood. So it is kind of hippie, you know? Now, I do a lot

of contradictory things. I mean, don't get me wrong. I am a walking contradiction, but, you know, so is John Prime. Humans, too. Yeah, humans are. We're a complicated being. So what is the biggest difference between Canada and New Zealand

that you found? Oh, the food boys. Tell you what, they don't sell cheese curds here. No, come on. They have cows? I'm just going to say, just don't come. Don't, yeah, tons of cows. You know, you hear New Zealand, everyone tells you about the sheep.

But I'd say it's almost, you know, 75, whatever the other percentages there, you know. It's a lot of, there's a lot of cattle here. A lot of cattle. A lot of cattle indeed. But beef's expensive. Also, I love how I bring up Canada. and then he just cranked his accent up. Yeah.

It wasn't too prominent and then he just, yeah, he turned it on. Well, you turned him on, man. Hey, listen, you get me excited. Yeah. Yeah. Would you like it overall? Do you like it? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, if this is winter, this is, you know, like 15 degrees Celsius here. We're used to, you know, minus 35 and six feet of snow. So, like, take this all day. but so for us americans 15 degrees celsius is 59 Fahrenheit we have to count for you what do you do just add 40 to it i just google it okay google it great great yeah that's good where at in canada are you from bancroft Ontario so if you draw a line straight from Toronto to Ottawa, we're right dead in the middle.

Small town of 3,500, and a bunch of rednecks, tell you what. So is that kind of between Milwaukee and Fargo, Charlie, if you go... Yeah. Well, you guys are eight hours apart, aren't you? We're about eight hours apart. Well, like, I mean, yeah. You know what to get a map. Where was the town?

Bancroft, Ontario. There is a town. It's where... In North Ontario. What, Charlie, what is the town name? Bancroft. Bancroft. Do you like Neil Young?

Who doesn't? Yeah. He's a hippie. Charlie, do you know? We share some things, you know. Charlie, do you know that Bancroft's population is around 3,800 people? I didn't know that, Miles. It's a, not a lot of people do know it like I do.

They're actually a town located on the York River in Hastings, Yeah, I feel like you'd be telling me more about it if your internet was moving faster. The biggest rock bass, knowing the man. No kidding. There really, though, them red-eyed, uh, slinger there. I like those rock bass. You ever eat rock bass? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Did you know that it was a mountain, you know, from the York, you know, from about the mid-1950s to 1982 there? I didn't know that, Miles. Thanks for letting me know. in 1850 by the United Empire loyalists and Irish immigrants. Irish immigrants. So a drunkster, are you an Irish guy, Miguel? I wouldn't say so. French Canadian.

French Canadian. I don't speak French. No French. Not even a wee. No French. Not even a, no. It was my first language, but I lost it. Enchanté. Oh, Miles. Miles has been learning. Bravo. Bravo. Okay, so how long are you guys going to stay out there in New Zealand? Well, we got a year-long visa, but maybe six months.

We'll see if I can get work here at some point. Right now we're working with, it's called Work Away, the app. and I just do work for this family and they give us a place to live and food to eat and uh but once for two months placements up then I guess we're just going to go wandering and see what we can get up to well good for you guys so you're not a redneck you are a hippie if you're just going to wander

hey hey miles stop it all the wander are not lost all right I didn't say he was lost I said he was a hippie yeah so maybe I got a bone to pick with you now Miguel? Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. I think you're a hippie, too. Miguel?

What's the thing that you hate most about the hippies, Miguel? What do you hate most about the hippies? But the smell. The smell? Okay, aside for the smell, because rednecks smell too. Yeah, I know. You're right. No, I know.

That's what I'm saying. We share a lot of similarities. But, yeah, I don't know. I'd say, I don't want to say the cult. side of it like you said the commune side of it i guess uh everyone's uh all together don't kill nothing don't uh you know sometimes you got to harm the environment you know you got to have fire you know oh yeah sometimes you just got to drive somewhere you know what i mean you know 100% that that each individual doing that that's one thing but i'm saying what do you

think about a company just like setting up mining just polluting the river that you fish in I mean, what's your stance on that? Yeah. Mining company sets up shop ruins the river for walleye fishing. Where are you on in that side of it? Are you on the side of the mine? Wow.

Yeah, well, you see, does it bring jobs and money to the community? No, it doesn't. It doesn't. How many jobs? But what about the people that are fishing? What about the people that are fishing? Charlie, he got you there. Well, see, it definitely brings jobs to the community.

No, they were setting up a gold mine in Wisconsin. They want to do this. The jobs, they say they're going to bring jobs to the community, but really it's like 10 or 15 jobs, and most of that money goes to some company, some international company that's making all the money. They are robbing us of our resources, and what do we get?

Shitty walleye fishing. Polluted water. Fuck that, you know? That's what I'm saying. Well, let me tell you this. I'm coming from the Bancroft point of you. you, and we have the most fresh water in the world. You can't jump 15 feet without jumping in water.

So if you're polluting the river, which the York River, as we discussed, it's already polluted. Go ahead. We don't fish there anyway. We've got about, you know, 1,500 lakes to go fish some ballads and some pike, you know, some... Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what if it's the river you live on, brother? What if it's the river all the people live on? You know, and then it's a different story. well i guess that's a different story that's uh and also all the water is connected but yeah all the

water is connected so you want to drink a bunch of chemicals that's in fucking company put in the water no why is it hippie why is it hippie i mean do you want to drink chemicals do you want to pay for like do you want to be the guy who's paying so a company can make billions of dollars so you drink their fucking chemicals do you want to do that really why you put enough chlorine in it no chlorine That's another chemical, dude. I just played. I'm just playing. I'm just drinking chlorine. I'm with you.

I'm with you. All right. He's with me. He's with me. All right. Redneck hippies. How about we call it that? We're redneck hippies.

You just bullied him enough to, I didn't bully him. I'm open to another logical conversation. Charlie's argument was basically like if he, if I just get specific enough, he has to agree with me. No. One of a mining company comes in,

pollutes the river. Then your grandma goes for a swim in there. contracts a disease and she dies. You really think the mining company should come there? It's not a disease. It's just why do we have to drink their chemicals so they can make a fortune and none of us get anything? You know, all we get is polluted water. You get to make a fortune.

So we're paying so you can become a billionaire. Fuck that. That's my point, man. That's my point. That's my point with these robots too. You know, like it's two, like there's 200, get it out, 200 billionaires. 200 billionaires have decided for the rest of society that we are going to risk the entire civilization

so a bunch of CEOs don't need to pay workman's compensation. Okay, that makes sense. That's fine. I'll risk my life so you guys can get rich. Fuck that. That's what I'm saying, dude. That's why I'm a hippie. And if that's a hippie, that just means you're being smart.

The whole thing, we have the same commonality, man. Neither of us want to be controlled. We don't want the government to control us. We don't want a bunch of billionaires to control us. Same thing. We just don't want to be controlled. that's it so if that makes me a hippie fine if that makes me a redneck fine I just don't want to be controlled it's a control issue it's a childhood issue yeah talk to my therapist about it

it's not going away though not going away so but it was nice we could connect on this Miguel and you and I we could find this kind of growing yeah yeah hell yeah well Miguel on that note we appreciate you calling what time is it there by the way Oh, 6.30 in the morning, boys. I got out of bed for this one. Oh, Miguel. Like a nice cup of coffee, huh? Oh, Frige.

I haven't even had it yet. Oh, you haven't? Shit, go get caffeinated up. Miguel, let's go. Let's go. You sure you want to put that chemical in your body, Charlie? Yeah, because I decided to put the chemical in my body. I just, all the, I put, you know?

Here's a fact for you. Yeah, I'd love to hear it. Sorry for that. Yeah, you know, this is this is the country that invented instant coffee. You know that? I didn't know that. I didn't either. They're pretty proud of it, though.

Do you think the world is better off with instant coffee? Or I feel like to me, instant coffee is just like a, just a non-starter for me. You know, I got just some like, hey, battery acid. It just doesn't just doesn't affect my life at all if instant coffee exists or doesn't exist. Yeah. Doesn't quite get your own. Yeah.

Yeah, but hey, someone's got to be proud of it, you know. They'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. No. Hey, have you always seen that Amazon

Prime Show countdown, by the way? No. Is it good? Wow. One of the main characters there looks just like Charlie and he's trying to act serious. And I tell you, I laugh all time.

is it a geoffrey dommer documentary oh shut the fuck no no i'll have to check it out but i like that just someone who looks vaguely like me trying to act serious gets you going yeah with a gun yeah pretty funny what what do we oh oh dude all right hey i'll look like that guy nice he's got the same patchy beard as me too look at that all right i'll have to watch it count down you sold me miguel i'm on board yeah yeah good man good man oh i got it i got to help someone you know you do i appreciate it um well you do you yeah i appreciate you taking yeah yeah i know with i take my my uh call here and of course Miguel yeah tell your wife we says hi all right yeah i'll tell you what those canadian stay here we say here we say

keep your stick on the ice lads I like it I like it all right well we'll see you soon Miguel take you easy boys you too

bye bye bye now I feel good I feel good Charlie I felt like I just you know got it going what was that mean that wasn't mean

wouldn't that be funny if we just cut that whole section out no that's funny every time Charlie tries to take a stance on something we just cut it out no don't do that

I don't do that for you when you take that a stance on something that's because i like to play a little middle man dan once in a while once in a while you're always middle man dan i i just like to get into the mix you know i just like getting stirred around you know stir it around and you just like to watch some people just like to watch the world burn miles it's like what do you believe in and you're like i believe in chaos what would you do in the car if you caught it i wouldn't know what to do with it if i got it Like a dog, Jason, a dog.

Well, we got a voicemail, Charlie. Let's listen to the voicemail. The voicemail from Josh. Josh. Hey, it's Josh. I'm 29 years old with my buddy Dylan fishing in New Brunswick. I'm a little bit of predicament. Just got on the Weather Network app and it said that we are under severe thunderstorm,

watch, and a tornado warning. We're out on the water, surging fishing. seeing them jump everywhere but we're not catching anything on the line so do I stay and possibly wait out the storm that might come or do I stay

and wait for the fish to maybe bite our line or do we cut our losses and fuck off now all right thank you guys you definitely stay absolutely you stay I mean we definitely are listening to this way after the fact. So he may not even be with us anymore because we know that he stayed.

Absolutely. But water's pretty safe for tornadic behavior, right? It's interesting. It'll send it ways you don't expect. It's like cutting down a rot tree. You know, it'll fall in ways you didn't anticipate it falling. I don't know what that means. Trees routed in the middle.

No, no, the tornado. What do you mean? You don't know what? Once it hits water, it can get pretty unprepared. predictable usually it'll dissipate unpredictable does that mean it just it's juking left and right yeah it's picking up in speed it's throwing water around it depends on the size of the water and the size of the tornado miles okay all right there's a lot of elements at play and i can't tell you i know enough to about it but all i know it's not something you want to mess with but i mean sturgeon i didn't know you

could fish sturgeon on the on the line i'm not sure what state is in i don't think you can just fish those. You're supposed to avoid the sturgeon, I think, in Wisconsin. They're prehistoric fish, you know. Pretty hardy, though. Pretty hardy fish. New Brunswick. Okay. We don't know what they're doing up there. They got better populations up there. You've seen the wall eyes are pulling out of Canada. Oh, my God. They're beautiful. So you're staying. I'd stay. Yeah, I'd stay. My big thing with fishing is if, you know, lightning, that's a big no-go for me personally. And tornadoes, it's kind of like, you know, do you have a place you can go for the tornado? Because if you got a nice little...

I mean, if a tornado is coming and like it's now on the water, don't you just want to jump in the water? Yeah, I don't know how that... Like, obviously, and also, does lightning strike water? Or does it strike stuff around water? No, it can... I don't... Because water, you can get electrocuted through water. Yeah, yeah. But how often does electricity or does lightning strike water to where you're in danger if you're in the water to get to get struck?

There's a lot of on water. There's a lot of metal things. Like so it might strike a dock or something. And then if it's a tall dock, usually it's going for the tallest thing, you know, the quickest path to the ground. That's what electricity is doing. So lightning stay out of the water. Cornado. Hop on in. Yeah. The only problem with that, Miles, is you. You can't breathe under water. You know what I'm saying? But you can come up for air and go right back down. Unless that's when the tornado is right above you, then you're... But you've got a nice soft landing in the water. Maybe it's like a big old...

I don't know about you, but the surface tension on water, if you could from too high up, the surface tension could be just like... Concrete. I've heard that. Yeah. You consider jumping off a bridge or two and you can. No, it's... Because every time I watch like an action movie, I'm just like, they would splatter if they jumped from that high up.

Yeah, you never know. They didn't have anything to break the surface tension. Surface tension, yeah. There was a, I won't even say it. I don't want to promote more people doing it. But you shouldn't do this, but there was someone who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and somehow they survived. I'm not sure how. Maybe they went foot first, had the foot break the surface tension, you know.

You just drop a rock. drop oh go down with the rocks in your pockets drop the rocks before you're about to get down there you drop the rocks first because if you drop a rock while you're falling it will just fall at the same rate that you're falling that's right god you paid attention science i mean depend it probably will fall faster in you because of wind resistance but yeah wow it's not gonna be yeah i and here i just thought you were an exercise scientist i watched a video actually on youtube shorts i like to go down rabbit holes yeah you like to You like to get really in depth with your knowledge.

I watched a 60 second video teaching me all about... Oh, it's all... Just whatever, Charlie. No. Just you just don't... You don't even care to listen sometimes. I was listening. So just let me get into it.

All right. Get into it. It was one of a part seven video. Okay? You really got suckered in. God, damn. And they dropped a... bowling ball and a feather in a vacuum, and they both landed on the ground at the same

time. Well, that's really helpful for the next time I go to the moon. I'm just saying, so how often are you going to be dropping anything in a vacuum? So then we have to figure out if you jump off a bridge with a rock in your hand, you let go of the rock, you have to figure out which one is going to take on more air resistance because whatever's more air resistance is going to last land second. Oh, I get it because a feather is about flight.

And so a lot of air... It's affected by air resistance, so it would take a lot longer to land, but when there's no air resistance, lands at the same time. Interesting. Yeah, see what happens when you just sit there and just listen to what people have to say?

Yeah, it's like a whole new world. I would know so much more stuff if I actually listened. well thanks for teaching me that miles um miles the mansplainer ladies and gentlemen that's what we call him miles the mansplainer well now i know thank you miles i appreciate that it's been another wonderful episode of the bellied-up podcast here with you today uh mr montlaiseu and um i hope you have a wonderful uh wonderful rest of your day you too charles thanks pal hey you guys get down down to will's north woods in chicago and don't forget tip your bartender okay hope you guys have a good one goodbye now oudaloo