Bellied Up - Charlie Ticks Off Michigan #171

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

We’re live from a sports bar in Fargo, North Dakota! The first caller (18:29), Ralph from Pennsylvania, talks about friends taking advantage of his hunting land. Then (44:59) Russel from Nicolet stops in for a chat. Finally, (53:16) Jason shares a story about his confusing father-in-law.https://prizepicks.onelink.me/ivHR/belliedupuse promo code: belliedup

Welcome to the bellied-up podcast, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Charlie of Barrens, and this is my buddy Miles of You Betcha Guy. We are here. Miles, where are we? We are at the sports bar in downtown Fargo, North Dakota. We got a home game for me today. It is a home game. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, first of all, let's start off with the title. Sports bar. I was like, Miles, where am I meeting you? He's in the sports bar. I know, which one? No, sports bar. Bar, yeah. Yeah, it's like our who's on, our Fargo, who's on first.

Yeah, very inventive name, you know, all right, we're going to do a bar. What are we going to do? We're going to watch sports, sports bar. Done. I mean, I don't like it. Feels a little weird being in here today. Why is that? Usually when I'm in this bar or in the past when I've been in this bar, usually three

sheets to the wind. Okay. And I can't see straight. So this is weird being here. in the middle of the day with no one in here. Can I just ask? I'm trying to understand the three sheets to the wind analogy. Tyler's got to know.

Three sheets to the wind? Yeah, it's three sheets to the wind. You ever seen three sheets blowing in the wind? That's what you look like when you're hammered. Three sheets, like on the clothesline? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Sure. He said it confidently enough that I'll just believe him. When I was a kid, I thought it was three sheep to the wind. And I said, why don't you just say three sheep to the wind? And then I realized... It's not that. That's when you go in thinking you're smart and you realize you're the idiot, you know? Yeah.

So three... Yeah, that was me. So this is my college bar. So me and my... Even Tyler, Jared, you spent some time here. We used to... This is where we used to run in college, dude. Wow.

And I can smell it. I can smell it. I think you know this already. But for the listeners that don't know, this right here is the bar where I met my wife and oh my gosh right here actually was it was it okay okay okay miles reenact it I'm Ann what was Ann doing give me my motivation um you're testing my memory you know all I know is we ended up talking and um I was just making fun of her for how tall she was because she's a tall woman and then she was also wearing like shoes with a heel on

them. Yeah. And I was joking that I could see her above all everyone's heads across the bar. I could see her head above everyone else's and stuff like that. That worked. Oh yeah. Wow. It's great. Yeah. She must have been three sheeps to the wind too. Probably. St. Patrick's Day actually. Oh, well, of course. So that was your move as a single guys just go up to a gal you were attracted to and make fun of them. A little bit. Yeah, but not like. Not like at a mean way, just kind of like a fun, playful way. Yeah, you're poking them with a stick on the playground. Yeah, 100%.

It's like the kid that may, you know, you know, a girl likes you if she's mean to you. Yeah. But not mean, just fun, playful, joking around. Yeah, she's flirting. It's a little flirt. Now, did you have that wild quarterback hair when you met Ann? No, I actually had chopped it off at that point. But I was, I was fresh off of losing 40 pounds.

in two months on the keto diet wow you were a keto guy well I just tried it out if you want to lose weight fast go on the keto diet and do it strictly and you'll drop weight like

that dude you'll drop more than that I was eating 1,200 calories a day which I don't know if you know anything about calories it's not a lot I didn't really know that but I now make sense like a 2,000 calorie that's a standard thing. Yeah, that's like a hundred and what, 60 pound human.

It could sustain a good 2,000 calorie diet. And I was, when I started, I was 260 and I was eating 1,200 calories a day. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had someone come to a show of mine once doing the keto diet. And I, they, uh, I didn't know they were on the keto diet until they just dropped cold and hit their head on the floor. Yeah.

You can pass out easily. That was what his wife said. He's on the keto. I was like, oh, that's... Well, yeah, when you first started, the first couple weeks, you can get, they call it like the keto flu,

where, like, you have flu-like symptoms because your body's and doesn't know what's going on. Yeah, because it's not going into ketosis. Right, it's working on getting to ketosis. And what is ketosis?

Exercise scientist smiles? You should know, dude. Your next... The ketones in your blood, I don't know. Okay. I don't know, but it works.

All right. Cool thing about this, bar two is the guy the guy that now owns the bar, his name's Drew. He was the bartender ever since I started coming here.

Drew owns that car out there. Is that his? I think so. He's got this really nice. That seems like a Drew car to me. That's a cool car. It's a Chevrolet. Does it not? S.S. Yeah. Pretty cool because he was bartender when, you know,

I was in college coming here, 21 years old. No kidding. And now he's bought into the bar And in a few years He'll own it outright is what he told me Damn But it's cool because Drew was the guy Who you, when he ordered him a drink

He didn't just go Here you go He was making it an art Really In the sense of it was theatrics So he was the guy He would be throwing the bottles in the air No kidding

Before he puts the straw in your drink He's doing behind the back Catching it putting it in the drink kidding yeah there's one guy who deserves to own the bar after working there for 18 years he's he's just putting the show on you know and then i gotta say that's impressive because this is a college bar i mean my gosh usually it's just churn and burn baby you don't have time to be doing that and he but that was he wasn't slow but he still was able to make it entertaining make it fun yeah wow now drew you guys you hang out outside the bar you

you know I've literally I don't even know if he goes outside the bar because I've only ever seen him in here really yeah well when you love what you do why would you do anything else right you could live upstairs for all I know yeah yeah um but I like the bar and I like that there's no mistaking this is a college bar from the outside because when I walked up to it there was one door that said stop and another door that said stop and the one door said stop no entrance and the other door it says stop you must be 21 to enter obviously college bar you know yeah yeah if you got to put that right up on the front yeah if that is your front door like if you're not worried about your your uh foot the facade of your front door you know that this is and that's maybe a good point charlie is we should maybe discuss

what makes the perfect college bar oh yeah yeah well a lot of open space yes yeah in a college bar you don't need to mess around with too many tables. No, I mean, pretty much every table is a liability after 11 p.m. And it's just in the way. It is because people are too busy trying to do the dry denim dance club sex on the dance for. You better wear your double-stitched jeans to a college bar if you're going to be doing some D.H. It's a lot of friction. Yep, there is.

And, you know, and I think also a good college bar isn't a good college bar unless it's impossible to move around in there. It's always impossible. It's got to be nuts to butts. You know what I mean? It's otherwise, what are we doing? Because after a big college football win going to the bar after, if the bar is empty, you're not going to be celebrating your team winning that much.

No, no, no, no. I mean, you know, really, and you've got to have, is there a big buck hunter in here? Yes, it's over in the back over there. For whatever reason, that's always the prime go to. I like that we got a couple of dart boards. They used to have a pool table here. I'm sure that was a liability as well. Yeah, that's too many corners on that table.

I love a good ostrich at a bar, at a college bar. Oh, yeah. And I don't even know if that's an ostrich, but it is a long-necked running bird. And it's good to, oh, no, it is. Always one to buck the trend, Shanky's whip. I don't even know what that is, I'm intrigued.

You want, obviously, no carpeting on the floors. That's wise. Not every college bar abides by that, and it ends up, they end up paying for it later because then the bar just smells of all sorts of fluids. Bally fluids, regular fluids. Yes. Yes. And you want a long bar.

You want a long bar because there's just going to be, you got, it's all about flow and energy, you know, at a college bar. You want people coming, you want people going, you want people coming. It's like waves crashing to the shore. You want a long shoreline and the bar is the shoreline. And the people are the waves and they crash up and boom, crash up and boo, crash up and boo, you know. It's actually pretty beautiful analogy. Yeah.

Thank you, Miles. Someone had their weaties this morning. Oh, my weedies. And then Miles, what I like here too is there's a curvature on this bar over here. So, so it's not just a bar that is excelling for like late night college hangs. It's also got a good game day feel, you know, when like the parents come to town or whatever, they've got plenty of tables they can put out, serve some sandwiches and fries and whatnot, kind of for the pre-football game get around, you know.

They can amp it up, they can roll it down, dial it back. I think also every good college bar has got to have a bar back. that one is a machine, but two, unbelievable at talking shit. Oh, yeah. And that, they had that when I was here. It was actually a gal named Annie, which is kind of confusing as my wife's names, Ann. It's a different Ann. Uh-huh.

Annie. And she used to, she was, she was good at her job, but then she could also talk some shit. Oh, yeah. Like, like, like, how so? Like, are you done with that? Do I need to get a nipple for that beer? Oh, yeah. from you know what's taking you so long type of stuff nice okay because look most barbacks you know

they are just to themselves well they keep to themselves or the only thing that comes out of their mouth is I'm not a bartender uh sorry can't serve you know that's typically yet and a lot of times they avoid eye contact you know because they're so sick of answering that question and I think a good bar back's got some personality in my opinion barback's kind of like the minor leagues for the bar you know for the bartender yeah triple a triple a ball yeah i mean and she was probably getting ready to get called up i wonder if she's working here now yeah i don't know i don't know what she's up to these days that was a long time ago i was like that was over a decade ago well drew's here getting that old yeah that's true yeah that is true um another thing i like is um in a college is like wall uh real

estate can mostly be given to prices. Like, we just, you, you just mainly want to know how cheap you can get the drinks. Yes. And I also, like a bar that has outdated signs that have prices on them. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think the last piece of what makes a really good college bar, Charlie. Yeah, Miles. Is that it never changes. Yes, some of the signs come and go. but what it is and how it feels should never change. Yeah, no, you still did,

did you get sent back into time when you walked in here? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit of a euphoric sensation. Yeah, you almost forgot where you were, forgot you had a kid.

How many a little bit, you know, even though this is where it all started, you know, you kind of get morphed back. That's true. You were just, Augie was just a wink in your cheese curts back then.

It's true. and you know how like they'll do a thing where they give some people non-alcoholic beer and then they like start acting drunk just by walking in here I felt like I was my feet my footing was a little less stable yeah well you came in a little roundy too a little hot I did well ready to go yeah yeah exactly we were wrestling and that's what a college bar should bring out of yeah you want to just like get in there and yeah you know yeah kind of like yeah a little locker room you know locker room a little sack taps going on you know 100 percent sack taps and butt taps you know oh so it feels good to be back

um you know the bar that I would drink a lot of booze with my buddies but also weirdly the place that I met my wife well should we uh take some collars it as soon as you give me my middle finger back right guys. It is football season. Charlie, you love football. Yeah. I love football. I like it. Said hot, hot, right. Red, three, two. And sit on. Charlie. Charlie and I have been playing prize picks. And right now, prize picks will give you $50 in lineups. When you play your first $5 line up, winner lose, you get 50 bucks in lineups. All you got to do is use promo code bellied up all one word, B-L-L-L-I-E-D-U-P, when you. You, P-L-L-L-L-E-D, U-P, when you you sign up today, Charlie, and you know what?

You said B-L-L-I-E-D. Yeah. B-E-L-L-L-I-E-D. You said B-L-L-L-I-E-D. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Bellied up is a promo code. Okay.

So you know, Charlie, they got the free-to-play. Oh, yeah. NFL jackpot. You can win a million dollars if you guess all I'm right. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I have been skunked up until this week. Oh, yeah? How'd you do this week?

I got one right. No way. That's awesome. Let's go. I still haven't won one. How much did you win? I don't think I won really anything. But it's the game that I care about the most that, you know, it's baby steps.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to win a million dollars. And you first need to get it. The journey of a million dollars starts with one pick right. Oh, yeah. That's an ancient Chinese proverb. It is. Yes.

Very cool. It's also in the book of Mormon. And the book of Psalms as well. Is it in the Psalms? Psalms Mormon? Psalm 48, verse 32. Sweet. Yeah.

So that's, Miles, I'm really excited for you and congratulations. I will admit I'm a little bit jealous because I have not yet one. And I've been trying, Miles. And do you have any tips for someone like me who maybe isn't as good as you? Um, you know, you just got a no ball. Okay. Okay. And that's like, just no ball.

just just that's the that's the best advice that can give you is just no ball okay no ball no ball just no ball all right all right so like if you got if you got to ask you don't know okay you know you guys you'll figure it out all right well that was super helpful miles thank you so guys if you want to play free to play stuff like the NFL jackpot million bucks you got to download a prize fix use code bellied up hey miles guess what what dude i'm i'm going on tour okay charlie what's the name of the tour i know you comedians like to name them i mean we don't like to name them it's just we kind of have to but since i did have to i came up with a cool name it's called the lost and found tour okay and uh yeah what's the meaning behind

the lost and found tour well because like i lost something and i was writing a joke about it and uh and then i was like oh this is going to be cool you got kind of come to the tour to find out oh okay there we go a little cliffhanger yeah so it's like a little thing but i'm going to be in naples florida miles this week the land the land of white hair yeah white there's yep there's a lot of midwesterners with white hair yeah yeah there's a little salt and pepper down there too though there's a little pepper in that salt um now i'm going to be in wilmington north carolina this month doing club dates to uh really get the get the material right juice is flowing yep and then the official start the tour baby when charlie gets his juice is flowing. Yeah, you do, Miles. You do. And the official start miles, Kansas City,

Missouri, November 7th. If you want to come to any of these dates, you let me know. Because then I'm going to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Beautiful in November 8th. It is. It is. Never been, but that's what I've heard. Yep. And then I'm in Munhaul, Pennsylvania. It's right outside Pittsburgh and Buffalo, New York, and Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I'm going all around miles. So, you know, if you guys out there want come see me charliebairns.com slash tour first one's in the show me state yeah in the show me state show me what you get it i hope you got better material than that for the tour no i don't oh that's like that was my joke coming off the gate um but miles it would be really wonderful uh if you would come out to a show and uh do a little uh you got one in fargo uh yeah we do

have one coming up in fargo it's not on the list yet, but I mean, I was thinking you might come a little bit farther than Fargo. I have to travel around the country for you to do this podcast. It'd be nice if you came and did a show in my town. That's true. That's true. That's true. And people I heard really liked our live podcast. You guys got to listen up because we're going to have

another live show with me and Miles coming up soon here. Ralph, you got Miles and Charlie from the bellied up podcast. I hear that you are having some trouble with a hunting spot. Are you having trouble is your buddy what to talk us through what's going on oh yeah boys hey first of all good to hear's from you long time listener first time caller you know ralph thank you that means a lot oh yeah i've been following you guys for years yeah but hey it's it's just color cardia drive

oh oh i don't know about that i can't tell you get what i did there ralph i just called a misdirect joke gotcha gotcha yeah gotcha yeah you sure did seriously is a The red Chevy, though? Why? Is it outside? I've been seeing one of my rearview mirrors of late. You'll never know, Charlie. All right, Ralph.

Well, I'm just pulling your pecker here. Why don't you sit down and tell us what's going to use that in the future. Are you? Someone comes up and they haven't fallen you for a long time. Be like, that's creepy. What car are you? They'll think you're paranoid or funny or both. Yeah, take some royalties on that.

Yeah. Uh-huh. so what's going on with the hunting yeah you know so every year we go we do some duck hunting opening day that's happening here uh this saturday here in pa they're migrating baby 11th they are buddy they're moving but here's the problem so we hunt we hunt on a river right and these guys every year these sobs every year they're always there first now i get there three o'clock in the morning this past year this is what i see i see two dudes drunk next to a fire with an empty case of Bush light.

How do you beat that? You can't beat it. You join them. That's it. It's got to be. Yeah. So they just go get hammered and then they wake up and they start hunting. Yeah, they do.

Yeah, they do. In this past year, it seems as though their buddies thought that we were their buddies. And they had a dog and everything. They're saying, hey, Joe, is that you? We're like, who's asking? that they come down like well hey yeah where's our friends you're not our friends I mean all those two dudes passed out drunk over there by the way so yeah I suppose there is like a fine line like people who aren't necessarily going

hunting for the day that are still up from the night before and the people that went to bed early because they got to hunt in the morning they kind they do cross paths yeah I mean yeah and it's like ships in the night you know and it is one of of those odd times too where like you don't respect the other's game you know the guys who were there they think they were there first but they were just out part

and they don't respect that these guys are coming in early in the morning waking them up and you guys don't respect them out there drinking you know it's tough well you can you can get drunk and shoot a ducks all you want buddy but we tried waking them up they were not moving oh really

so they were just did they have a pulse though I didn't touch them I don't know. Well, I know how to wake them up. That sounds like we may have a murder mystery on our hands now, Charlie. If they don't move after your first duck of the morning, then, you know. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. But I don't know.

They're nice enough guys, you know. I just don't know. I mean, what do you think it'd be a dick move to head up there about like 11 p.m. the night before and beat them? I mean, they've been doing this for years. We keep having the same argument every year. Well, they're starting at, they're probably starting at 9, you know, at DOSC, the night you really got uh i mean this is black friday camping at this yeah black friday

circa 2010 you know do people not do that anymore i had no they only outside the toys are us anymore no i don't think so i'll be damned this world's changing too fast ralph i tell you that right so it's 80 degrees and it's october it ain't right i know it ain't right no it ain't right i don't even think those ducks are going to migrate, you know, given the weather. I don't know. The gooses came through. Well, the geese will come through any time. But I got one more for you, too.

Well, I got you. Well, who knows how many more. Yeah, so what do you guys do? I'm sure this has happened to you. You brought a buddy to a hunting spot, right? And, you know, every year by year comes by, hey, man, you want to come out and go do some shooting ducks with us and that. You know, yeah, sure, sure. But can I bring my other friend?

But we don't, we don't know that guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The friend asking another friend to a party, you know? It's like it can get messy. That's why you got to, I feel like you just got to set clear boundaries, you know?

Like, hey, Charlie, you can come, but only you can come. Yeah. Or just a hard no. Do you mind my friend comes? Yes. Well, yes, you do. Yeah. Oh, that was my part.

I set you up for that. That was another misdirect by you. Oh, Mr. Egg, baby. Mr. Egg, Chucky B. Let me say this. Ralph, did you bring a guy out who was suspect or did you just turn him down right away? Oh, no, no, you know, he's a mutual friend, you know, and then later on, he starts bringing all sorts of people to that spot. It's like, hey, buddy.

Oh, without you? Yeah. Oh, that's a different story. Yeah. No. Yeah, no. That's a no. I mean, well, where'd you learn about this spot, Ralph? There should be like a whole section of the DNR that polices other people stealing hunting spots from other people. That would be a good video, actually. There should be a whole section. And actually, probably most of the DNR should be, you know,

their resource to be allocated to not poachers, but people poaching hunting spots. Yeah. There should be a guy with a. book. You know, it should be one book and it should be, you know, kept in pen. Yeah, of who hunts what area. Yeah. And you got to go. Yeah. Well, I think a lot of people would. I think the way that you usually accomplish that, Charlie, is by buying land. Oh, yeah. I think they already invented this. But not, but in today's economy, who can buy hunt land anymore? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. So it's almost like, here's what we need to. Why don't they have time shares for hunting land?

I think they do. I saw a billboard for that the other day. Really? Yeah, I was thinking about it. Yeah. They're on to you, Miles, you know? I suppose that's like going to like a hunting preserve or something like that is basically a hunt and time share. All right. Well, we'll keep workshopping in.

Well, I think, I think Charlie can afford to all that property. I mean, I tried to get tickets to his show in Pittsburgh and I'll be damn. They're sold out. get in there. No, they're not. In Pittsburgh, no. The good, the good seats are. Oh, I'll get, I'll get you ticket. You can't be picky and then complain. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Well, you, you want to, you want to come to the show in Pittsburgh? I'll get you tickets. Oh, I'd love to come to the show on. They're going to be in the nosebleeds, though. We're not giving you good tickets. No, I'll be free, but they're going to be shit seats. Yeah. You might, it might be a partially obstructed view, but yeah, we'll get you some tickets. No, Ralph, I'll hook you. up just text us your name and we'll send you back to details okay all right buddy that sounds great no but we're not done with you yet here so i you you're talking smack though about these fellas you told them where the hunting spot is and then uh now they're at the hunting spot and you're upset but my question is ralph weird did you how'd you find out the hunting spot great

question be honest blood sweat and tears blood sweat and tears charlie okay okay putting miles on that canoe and trying to find good duck hunting spots that's how i found it okay okay well respect respect ralph out there in the canoe what kind of canoe you paddling these days old town sportsman oh sure that's nice yeah yeah i got an old town loon oh yeah all loons are good don't say it like that he said it he just said it like it wasn't that good so is the loon a beginner canoe or why did you say like that? You know, people learn on it, you know. It's the old tried and true, though.

It's the old tried and true. When you're ready for something else, you know, you move up a little bit. It's a kayak, Ralph. Yes, you're right. You're right. Yeah. You know, Ralph, screw you.

All right. I hope they keep stealing your hunting spots. In fact, where are you hunting, Ralph? Oh, you know, over in Northwest, VA. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm coming out there. all right charlie baron i hope to see out there charlie barons is the only guy in the history of the world to get offended over a canoe or a kayak comment only guy to burn a bridge over making

fun of his kayak uh he really shit on my parade though you know that way you said it i worked out i worked out a canoe livery for a better part of five six years loons are tried and true man okay I got a thank you I bought a pelican kayak from Walmart for like 200 bucks back in like 2008

those don't work yeah gets the job done you that's the one I was in you were in that kayak pretty nice huh it's pretty nice how much was your living what's a what's a good price

for a kayak there ain't no good price for a kayak your pelican's as cheap as you're going to get there yeah damn it I did get a good deal on mine though

I knew a guy who was going to see a horse about a deer and he got me a pretty good deal so not to brag but that that loon if I wanted to resell it I'd probably make money on it

okay so you know I've been thinking about stepping up though about the loons because now you can't they're kind of basic canoes I know but if you get If you don't own the loon now, then he's right. He won, you know? I own the loon.

No, he was making fun of the loon. That's why I'm selling it, dude, because he made fun of me. You're caving to peer pressure. Absolutely. Well, I start off offended and then I quickly, it's like the stages of denial. You start off at offended. And then you just start making fun of other people with them. But you have, before you can make fun of other people, you have to sell yours.

So that's it. We're in through the stages. Anyways, Ralph. Where are you doing right now? You're walking somewhere? Oh, yeah. I'm just at work. Where do you work?

Cool. Both the same time. Park Ranger. Yeah. Okay. No wonder he was making fun of my outdoor equipment. Yeah. We're talking to, you know.

Talking to Ranger Rick over here. This is like a couple of noon ball guys talking to Michael Jordan. It's not a fair game. Yeah. Oh, boy. Have you given any tickets recently? Oh, man. Last one I wrote was July 4th.

So what the fuck have you been doing? We have a very, very nice park around. Good clientele. Real good clientele. Real good. Sounds like a pretty cushy job, if you ask me. Oh, boys, we're working on, we're putting on food plots for the dears and turkeys. We're going to be stalking pheasants here soon.

Dude, are you guys hiring? No, right now we're not. That's for sure. Oh, yeah. I thought he was to say, depends who's asking. Yeah, that's a good, that's a good turn there. That's a good turn. You know, what park is it?

Oh, it's just a, it's a lake in northwest Pennsylvania. You know, there's a wide community out there. So we'll keep it. We'll keep it a little, you know, tucked in the woods. Oh, she's really not giving up that hunt in the spot. Do you like how I went around? like I asked you straight up you wouldn't tell me and then I walked around the tree and figured you might not see me from this angle but you got me Ralph

yeah you tried you tried your best that's good that's real good I'll tell you what one thing you guys might like more or not I mean our ditch chickens are very tame around here they're not going to get up and fly from you 80 yards out and I keep going the next country mile that's because you just plant them all they're all that's right right are they if they're They were wild, then they would be sporty, you know? That's right. My dog catches most of them.

I barely have to pull the trigger. Oh, geez. Yeah, they're just runners. It's crazy. Oh, they're just runners, man. Yeah, you, I mean, you really don't have to do anything up there. I guess out one ticket a year. He goes hunting his dog just gets everything.

This dude's got to know. That one, that one episode you guys had, that dude that was on the home, you guys, hunting pheasants. They say, hey, hold on a second. Didn't you hear the gunshot? Oh, that was awesome. It was great. Yeah.

It was, it was. Couldn't, yeah. A lot of people thought we scripted that. There's just not a chance we could have done that. Yeah, I know. We don't put preparation into this. The whole reason why we have a call-in show is so that we don't have to prep and we can just go with the flow. That was literally the stated purpose for both me and Miles starting this.

What if we just drink at a bar like we usually do, but have microphones there? End of concept. question so it sounds like you're walking around like what what are you actually doing today what am i doing today well today i cut down a bunch of trees and then you know how to do a little bit of computer working right now i'm walking around one of our clover food plots looking and seeing how it's doing because we've had the great drought of 2025 you know yeah how are they doing good miles this ain't ain't doing good it's all right that's the way it goes it's the way it goes It's not the way it went, Miles, and we want to bring it back to that, you know?

Let's, uh, we got to get some rain. I don't know. Well, we want to get some rain out there, you know, you can hear it in his voice. He needs better clover and without the clover, the hunting's not as good. And then Ralph is sad. So we're trying to be empathetic to him right now, Miles. Is, uh, is Ralph a family name or are you, where you just named Ralph one off? Ralph's a nickname actually

What's your real name It's Joel Joel How'd you get the name Ralph? Oh people just We call everybody Ralph So Long story

What did you use a fake name Joel? No All the friends and family calls Ralph So you're at a family function And you go hey Ralph And everyone turns Oh yeah

Really so it's like us calling each other buddies up here like hey buddy what's going on it's like hey ralph what you doing pretty much i can't explain it that well it's based off the christmas story you know ralphy yeah ralph yeah it all started with a buddy of mine's dad we all called him ralph and that was not his name and then everybody started calling each other ralph really and yeah what is your mom call you oh she calls me by my god give him name wait god gave you the name or your mom gave you the name. My mom gave me the name. Okay. So what's your God-given name then? That's a good one. I don't know. Wow. Sperm number 7,822. Way more than that.

Oh, yeah. Spirm 1 trillion,800 billion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it probably depends on the age of your dad. 7,000 would be like, oh, yeah. He'd be a grandfather at 23 or. Your dad might be Adam if it's $7,000. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's, oh, that's where we're going. Oh, yeah, because God naming sperm and thinking of all the people with sperm. And how much sperm comes out with each trip, you know? Like millions, you know.

With each trip down the tunnel, there's a lot of them. From what I understand about science class. I mean, I remember. I'm going to start calling that. Yeah, a little, nice little trip down the tunnel. Well, Ralph and Joel and number 20 quadrillion 86. There you. It's nice for you to call in here.

And we hope the weather turns for you and gets right back to where it should be. And, you know, it's, it's a brave new world out there. But you're out there. You're making sure that those. hunting spots are remaining you know what miles brought up a fun fact i did yeah you did or a fun idea and that was to have a little book with a pen and a dnr the warden and we didn't realize at that point that we were talking to a warden of sorts oh no i don't enforce those i don't enforce those rules what if you what we need to do is it's no pun intended but we need a quack quack seatback

situation with hunting land. Public hunting land needs, we need to start enforcing a quack, quack, seat bag situation. That should be the title of the book. Do you have a notebook, Joel? I do got one. And then you go up to be like, oh, you're not, you're not Ralph. I'm sorry, but someone else quack that spot. So I'm going to need you to get out of here.

He's going to show up in about a half hour. You know what? That's actually not a bad idea. And then, like, the seat, the place you're hunting, like, if you don't get a duck, if you don't get a certain number of ducks, you lose the seat. Yeah, that's true. You got to perform. You got to perform. Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you what, we do a different here in PA. We got two different agencies that run everything. It's not DNR. You got Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission. Then you got Pennsylvania Game Commission. It only gets more confusing. And are you on the game or the fishing boat? No, no.

I work for a federal agency. Oh, shit. Well, we'll buy you a beer. Sucks. I appreciate that. Yeah. Sorry, Ralph. Sorry. Or I'll give it to your government name, Joel. There you go. That'll work.

Yeah. Well, sounds like a cool job. Hopefully you get paid pretty soon here. And, you know, you keep her moving out there, man. and uh yeah and and we'll get you tickets lined up to that PA show even though you made fun of my kayak oh buddy it's a good boat it's a good boat i'd paddle one every day okay well that makes me feel better miles is looking at me like i still have a wimpy kayak miles you got a Walmart kayak all right so what are you in talking about on purpose though i know you got that loon thinking you were

doing something i thought it i thought it was something special but i did get a good deal on so i'm not super upset about it but you know you didn't pay sticker price nope hey you can't beat that hell no dude no you can't we're feeling good I wouldn't have got mine if I paid it

geez yeah well Mr. Joel Ralph Ralfie thanks for calling in dude yeah dude's great to talk to you guys and be careful with that shotgun you'll shoot your eye out oh I shoot straight

yeah Would you get the joke, though, Ralph? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you didn't laugh. I just want to make sure you got that. I laughed inside. That's cool. Yeah, no, it's cool.

Maybe next time do it outside. You just started doing that at your comedy shows. Try it say a joke and then just go like, hey, you guys get it? And they're like, yeah. And they're like, but you guys didn't laugh. Yeah. It's actually a great way out of a bombing, you know? Oh, I've done it before, Miles.

start gaslighting the audience being like well you guys just don't have a sense of humor yeah i do that was funny yeah uh yeah i've i've gotten that t-shirt uh ralph you'll see when i uh perform live for you in uh pennsylvania i don't know why i don't know why but that seems wrong what the way you phrase that you were going to be doing a comedy show in his town by saying that you're going to perform live for him just seems wrong no it doesn't seem wrong why are you why are you making them weird miles you know i'm just trying to to you know i'm going to tell some jokes and do song and dance man you know so anyways yeah yeah it'll be fun but ralph you have fun out there um good luck with the clover good luck with the birds good look with the dears god bless

a fish all right yes sir yeah hopefully we'll see in pittsburgh there charlie oh yeah we'll see you soon all right buddy you guys take her easy you have one for me okay we'll do pal bye bye bye that honestly charlie he's living the job that you should i know like if you weren't a comedian, you should be doing Joel slash Ralph's job. I love it too. I mean, I told someone once, they said, if you weren't doing this, where you'd be done, I said probably be a park ranger and then they're like, oh, you're going to, so you're going to like give tickets. I was like, I don't think you understand what kind of park. I would not be a good park ranger, but I would be a park ranger. I would be a guy out there walking around. You'd be the glue guy, you know,

you be the glue guy, like the glue guy. All of the park rangers, you're the guy holding everyone together. I'm a morale guy. Yeah, you're not going to be like, you know, doing the best of your job but you're going to make everyone else's job a little bit better because you're working there yeah thanks miles the jokes and appreciate that and all of your uh you you got to tell the audience what you you coined a new term yeah oh yeah compounding charlie yes so can you please explain to the audience what compounding charlie's man it's a thing that you know anytime too many anytime I pull it Charlie and there's too many Charlie's

pulled in a row you get a compounding Charlie which is like a disaster you know if I drop my phone and the screen breaks that's fine that's it Charlie that shit happens if I forget to take the boat like unlatch the boat from the trailer you know with the

transom straps that's fine that happens that's a Charlie but if I have a broken phone screen and I forget to pull off one of the straps from the transom strap and my dad's on the thing He was like, I told you to turn the very strap off. I was like, I thought you did. I did not do it.

Then I got to go. And since the boat's halfway in the water, I got to walk in the water with a broken phone. Glass is broken. Undo the transom strap to pop it off. And now my phone's broken. And that's a compounding, Charlie. Yeah. Now your whole day is ruined.

Whole day, man. I put in rice. That worked for a little bit. But then I read on the internet that once your phones are, compromise compromise they can explode and i didn't need that pressure you know yeah so yeah you have to keep us updated on any future uh compounding charlie's that you pull i mean that's how i got my car repo was it compounding charlie now i'll tell that at different day miles okay that's still too soon yeah the toe the tow driver was a fan though so well it was another

pounding Charlie moment was when you hit your head in the garage door. You were, first you were late, then you couldn't get out, then you did get out, but then you hit your head in the garage door. And it's just as a whole thing. I know. Like, I cannot, um, I can't afford to have too many charlies in a row. I got to keep a tally of how many charlies I'm up to and clear the slate before I, yeah, like, if you have like two charlies in a row, you just need to take a few days off and just stay in your room. I know. Just stay in bed.

Stay in bed. Or just put my, that's why I should go be a part. I just put myself in the woods for a few days because you can't have too many. I don't have too many. It's hard to mess up in the woods. Yeah, what could go wrong? You in the woods with like a, you know, bow and arrow and, you know, 15 feet in the air in a deer stand.

What can go wrong? You're right. You're right. Maybe I should just like myself in my room. um should we do another caller let's do it charlie hi miles you know what i love at a time like this and a bar with like this with friends like you what's that miles i like to sit back and just sip on a nice glass of tippy cow that's uh oh it just brings the moo right out of you you know my gosh isn't that true you know charlie the tippy cows made with real wisconsin cream they got

four tasty flavors including vanilla soft served shamrock mint orange cream what we're drinking right now and when there's football on TV a pumpkin on the porch we reach for tippy cow orange cream yes we two miles like today you you may notice you came to fargo today it was 60 degrees out that is tippy cow weather in my mind brisk hoodie weather tipic cow weather yesterday it was 90 degrees so you came at the right time wow tip it on back miles to the tippy cow moo russell nicolay ladies and gentlemen you've seen them on the billboards and whatnot all across the midwest but russell i had a little question for you what is the most accurate movie or film or tv show tv show erotic video whatever it is that most accurately captures the trueness of the court system. I mean, this might be an unpopular opinion.

And maybe it's not based in fact, but I'm just going to say my cousin Vinnie. What do you think of that? Yeah. My cousin, I always thought that was, because my cousin Vinny, I mean, you know, Miles, you. I don't know what my cousin Vinny is. That's ridiculous. I learned all my lawyering from that show. Do you haven't seen my cousin Vinny?

No. What? What? It starts off. It's like down south. Okay. I don't think we need that. I was just getting Jones in Miles.

I got a, you know, you can't start an engine cold. You would be a great lawyer just talking circles around and around until finally everyone just gives up and gives in, right? Joe Pesci, are you familiar with him, Miles? Yes. He plays this guy's cousin, Vinny. Now, this guy finds himself in a little legal predicament and he goes, look, I can't afford a lawyer. And so he's like, well, the state will provide you one. He's like, no, no, no, no.

You can't go with that. You've got to go with your cousin. And or he says that. I forget exactly. It's been a while. But then Joe Pesci turns out to be a badass lawyer, man. But he's very like, you know, Italian, you know. Like imagine the godfather, or not the godfather, goodfellas, if Joe Pesci was a lawyer.

He comes in with that attitude, you know. And he ends up actually presenting some really good points and sort of his off-the-cuff handling it yes he's a little irreverent but in the end we see past that and he's actually making some good arguments he gets to the heart of the legal matter he goes uh to the to the to the soul of the jury and because of that because of his orating skills and his um you know catching people off guard they end up winning the case hmm how did i do there russell you did an excellent job i like i was so you modeled your uh whole career off of his cousin viny Yeah.

You didn't see that. It looks like Joe Pesci. You don't sound like, look. He's the Midwest. Why don't you do a Joe Pesci impression here for us? Let's not do that, actually.

I have to save that for the courtroom. That's actually my hidden skills. I'm not giving that away on a podcast. I think Miles is trying to alt me here and make me look. What am I funny? Give away all my, yeah. What am I?

Well, that's not on the... That's good, that's good. Yeah. That's where you get put in jail, probably are held in contempt, you know, I start saying that to the judge. Oh, you really? You can't threaten the judge? No. But what about, like, outside of the courtroom, you know?

Leave a horse head in his back. What if the threaten is something nice, like, oh, I'm going to tickle you? That's called a bribe, Miles. Don't tempt me with a good time, sir. You ever tickled anyone? Ever ever tickled anyone or ever tickled a judge? judge you ever tickled a judge no i've never tickled the judge well tickled anyone's fancy oh i've been tickling some fancies i think russell you ever tickled anyone's fancy

certainly yeah certainly yeah but not in court okay okay there's no tickling in court is what i learned today i don't know russell i bet you you you tickled a few jurors fancies in court you know you're you're a good looking fella not intentionally but i bet you it happens but I've you know I've had some success in front of juries and like I've seen it where I like give you my closing arguments and they're nodding with you and they're like you can tell that they're with you then so maybe is that would you consider that tickling fancy yeah you know before to try and went over the jurors do you do like pushups and situps before you get into the courtroom to get a pump on to be able to be more attractively pleasing

a lot of lawyers especially young ones think that you want to like get that bring that anger and the heat to him but I just meant 50s physically. Like, do you oil up beforehand? Well, I have a full suit on. So they weren't really able to see how oily I was. Well, if you got a good tailor, they'll be able to see. Yeah. Or if I was really ripped and I just kind of like ripped through the suit. Yeah. Sort of flexing that like that. Yeah, that might work. But you're young lawyers, though, they go.

Yeah. They go hard. They go angry. Because they think to advocate is to like, you know, kind of like get yell and get fired up. And even some older lawyers, but generally the jury, because if you think about it, it the jury's like there against their own will like they've basically been kidnapped from their life to sit there and listen to this trial for days right they're like why are you yelling at yeah they're not looking for someone to yell at them i just need to make a decision yeah and also the juries usually will pick up who's like the anger and you want to let them like take care of the bad guy or the bully not you you're just kind of the narrator right you're just showing them

you're showing them all the evidence the light you're shining light and evidence and then they're like uh-huh russell's clients being wronged and we're going to take it out on this others you know we're going to make it right so you want to be calm right yeah and you and you and you don't want to be like a condescending prick no no you don't and you you have to be really careful too at humor because like if it doesn't land yeah you would be good because you know you got good jokes but mine would probably miss and maybe like you this guy's an idiot well i mean i've i've bombed like if you we could do a whole compilation of things i've bombed on this podcast you know it's probably because Chive TV was on.

Thank God we took that off. Okay, so Cousinvini, you say it's the most realistic. What would be the most realistic lawyer erotic film that Charlie had mentioned earlier? I've never seen a lawyer erotic film, but maybe Charlie's got a few that he can point us to review. That's against the Catholic Church. That was meant to be a joke. Clearly, Russell's never been on page 183 before. It's in the Bible.

thou shall not because there's a page 183 there's some good lawyer content on there so wait page 183 I miss the joke yeah it's okay could someone explain the joke no we'll do it we'll do it

I'll explain it later Jared tell me what's a joke goddamn dude I hate it when I don't understand Russell do you understand it I mean he's just saying it's there you just got to search yeah oh search harder yeah yeah you just

you gotta get bored with pages one through 1802. Oh, I see what yours. When you get all the way there, but you know, that's funny, Miles. Google A.A. Yeah. Well, Google A. I can find it for you.

Yeah. You can find it quick. I don't know if you go through all 182 pages, but you could. Yeah, you just skip to 183. I usually skip that part. So maybe I should be asking you, what's the best? It doesn't even have to be the most realistic. What's the best? One of my favorites is the,

great big gavel it's a great one um you know nine jurors and one judge nine jurors one judge you know oh is that a playoff of two guys coad jurors

one through eight is great um yeah so anything like that well I think it's pretty realistic and these are rolling off your tongue a little too easy like yeah

how many times you've been to page one 183. Don't even start talking me about page 205. Well, if, hopefully I don't get disbarred now, so. No, you won't.

That's another one. It's called disbarred. It's a good one. What page is that? Hard and disbarred. Yeah. Well, where can the folks find you at, Russell? Yep, you can find me at Nicoletlaw.com or 18555 Nicolet.

We got you. how's she going fellas oh she's going good jason what's racing jason oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho good one wow oh just out here working uh mostly kind of fishing uh but kind of working well you what kind of job do you do there you can work and fish at the same time well i work for myself and i got somebody running to get me some material so he's he's unemployed yeah yeah he's self-employed yeah yeah jason you got someone running to get you materials no he's a contractor um waiting on some boards oh yeah okay what are we doing what's what's worse waiting on boards or waiting on mud concrete trucks oh i couldn't tell you i don't do concrete you can have that all right are you from canada on boards um northern michigan oh where i'm from i'm uh can't really tell you

of where I'm at now because I got to talk to Charlie about that first. Why? Why? Well, you always, you're telling people to move up here and well, you're giving away our honey holes. No, don't do that. I'm not telling anyone to move to the UP. I'm saying that I want the UP. Okay. Well, I'm not telling anyone to move there. I wouldn't do that. People aren't moving anywhere because of me. Well, I moved from the UP to Northern. Wisconsin a while back. Well, why'd you do that? I'm about, I'm about 10 miles south where your, your little spot is there.

Oh, don't you dare give that away. Uh-huh. How do you know where, how do you know where I live, Jason? I see around. Have I met you? Um, I, I've seen you, seen you at the stores here and there. I won't name them because I don't want to give away your spot. Oh, Jason, he's a follower.

Yeah. Jason, well, you didn't, you never say hi when, when I'm on. about? I'm not really the chase for an autograph kind of. No, that's fine. Well, hey, you called in. This is a nice way to say hi to you, Jason. Yeah. Yeah, so

where are you guys drinking today? Well, we're in Fargo. That's descriptive. We're at. Go ahead, Miles. Tell them when we're at. We're at the sports bar. It's actually me and the boy's old college bar. And, yeah, we're bellied up having a couple two tree beers what do you air yeah i've heard some stories on you betcha

about the uh sports barley yeah it's a good spot so uh what did you call in today other than to get mad at charlie i'm i will always welcome that well i'm he getting mad at me is that what you're telling people to the u p people to move up here i'm not telling anyone also i'd like to point know you moved from Michigan to Wisconsin so but I didn't you're losing your ground to stand on you're losing my ground there but you know my ground stands with the flatlanders that's you know they can stay in Illinois and we'll stay up here and that'll be all right yeah I'm not trying to I'm not telling anyone to move up north that's for sure I we'll backtrack a little yeah you know you're you're really stepping in it here now uh Jason and you're no I'm just messing with you

But what is on your mind? Oh, I know what's on your mind. Your father-in-law, you don't know what to call him. Yeah, I've been with my wife for 10 years. And I was introduced as Mr. White. And you still called him, sir, 10 years later, because you don't know what to call him or what? No, I just call him, hey, come here. I'm sure he loves that.

It's still awkward after 10 years. Hey, you. Hey, you. well and you know he's vegan if that tells you anything oh god what an interesting uh scenario and his name's mr white yeah okay what's his what is his first name oh craig okay okay Craig i thought you're gonna say walter and i'm like it's got a little more interesting well that could add up actually i don't know i mean if his name was dick or something you might know why it could be awkward because you don't know what to call him um that might make it hard no no

Nice. Good one. We like what you did there, Jason. But what he told you when you first met, he said, call me Mr. White? Or did you try calling him Craig too early? oh he he told me calling mr white and uh we got married and i said can i call you craig he says nope i'm mr white oh wow that i got a little i got a little buffer now since we uh we had our daughter i can call him grandpa but you know if she's not around then um i just still call him hey come here are you serious so you don't you're not caught you you that's your own little protest yeah yeah it's like he's he's defying him by not calling him mr white but it doesn't have enough balls to just call him Craig. Yeah.

That's correct. Yeah. That's correct. So why do you think he doesn't want you to call him Craig? Like, is it just he's a very traditional man or does he not like you very much? I wish I could give you an answer to that. Both are possible. Okay.

Well, what did you do? What did you get in his bad graces other than sleeping with his daughter? Well, I eat meat. oh you eat meat so he's a principled vegan that's it seems that way that's the worst interesting okay okay okay okay my wife catches a lot of flack from him for eating meat okay does your wife have a sister yep is her sister married uh no she's in uh UW Milwaukee at school okay is she a vegan uh her parents think she is well there you go I mean it's just a tales all the time what your parents don't know can't hurt them you know so you need to just talk

about how much you would love and leaves these days then you can call grue leaves have mothers too it's a tall order um this is fascinating though that that you stay so does he like act like he likes you in any regard uh yeah when we're drinking whiskey and playing cribbage oh all right i just this guy is so confusing to me are you a vee or are you not? You can't be playing. I just don't know. I just don't know, like, my view of vegans is like they just would never sit down

and drink a glass of whiskey and play cribbage. Well, Miles, the privilege board doesn't have a mother, and neither does whiskey. So you see how there's no conflict there? No, I understand. I just, I don't know. I feel like he should be just like going on Nietzsche walks and. Yeah. Oh, perfect.

You know what? No, that's true because, because what's that cribbage board made out of? Wood, yeah. He had to cut down a tree, a tree at a mother, even though trees are asexual, they're their own mother, you know, and also think of all the squirrels. What do they eat leaves then? Leaves, you know, vegans. Come off of trees and make up mothers. Yeah, oh, can he?

Yeah, no, that's true, but leaves, I suppose they reproduce. It's not killing the plant. So it's just kind of, it's a renewable resource. Miles is not, I'm not just thinking. Well, what about eggs? Can we eat eggs?

So what's kind of funny is, I feel like vegans and, we'll call them blue collar folk. Yeah, at times they feel like mortal enemies, correct? They stand for different things. I like eating meat. I don't,

I think eating meat is bad, correct? I don't peel back the layers. How much different are, vegans than blue collar hunting fishing types, right? They both like to be outdoors. Yep. They both have a very specific diet. It just turns out that one is without meat and one is I only eat meat and potatoes.

Yeah. They both drink some weird stuff, you know, blue collar guy, they're drinking malort, you know? And the vegans are drinking kombucha, which is its own weird thing as well. You know, it's like how much different are vegans and blue collar guys? guys well i see what you're doing here miles i see what you're doing here you know you're trying to find what are the commonalities between the the vegans and the blue collar probably a suspicion of you know a controlling entity you know the systems at play yeah so here's something to confuse you you fellas a little more is he doesn't really like to go out and do the nature stuff he likes to go

to the grocery store and buy his sprouts in a jar and go home and have a sprout salad. Okay. How can you be a vegan that doesn't like to go outside? Here is the comp, I'm just playing with the cords, Jared. Here's a complicating thing or the complicated factor. It might be worth, you know, you chit-chat with him about. But like, depending on where he lives, you know, the vegan diet could be doing more harm to more animals than hunting, you know.

because if you think of the carbon footprint of what you're eating. Now, some vegans do it, like, where it's just like what's grown here and whatever, but some vegans are importing, and that's a big carbon footprint. So, yeah, what, you know, he's a big principled vegan. What's his reason for being vegan? Well, he says it was a health issue back in the day, but there's, there's no evidence to prove that. He just, I think he just likes it.

I think he got weirded out when he went hunting. once or something oh well that'll happen that'll happen okay there you go dude you in order the you know big dick him just start kind of prodding at him and being like so what really happened craig what happened you went out there you couldn't handle a little bit of guts hanging out of an animal after you took him down and so now you're vegan or what and then he'll take it that would make him like me more yeah well no so you you get him in a defensive situation and then then you get the leverage because now you're undressing him and seeing who he really is. You're on field dressing him.

Yeah, maybe I'll give it a goal next time we play some cribbage. Yeah, yeah. See what he's got to say. Yeah, just start, just go, you got a weak stomach or something or what? And then just so he says, we're, well, now he lives right in the middle of what you might call a city in these neck of the woods. So it's, you know. Steven's point it's modest to call the city no no it's uh he's in rhinelander oh yeah rhinelander

yeah the hoag sure i was just over there oh i know i uh i tried to get to your show i forgot to order a ticket and then i went up to the front door and they told me you're sold out oh geez well was it's a fucking brag it was a high school they could uh you could have found your way in probably yeah next time just bring a ladder they'll let anyone with a ladder into events it's true yeah that's true I just went down to the bar instead shot some pool oh well good well I'm glad you had had fun regardless

you should add someone going into the show you should ask them to stream it live on TikTok and then you're going to watch it for the bar smart I got to work today and buddy I'm working with here he says he got tickets but he forgot to go to the show you get you'd be amazed at how often that happens

yeah wish i could have made her there i got uh you know well you could have just taken his tickets but more in retrospect i'm still trying to figure out how you can improve this relationship with your father-in-law and get on the first name basis so why is it the father-in-law gets to treat him like that but he can't treat him for being a vegan the same way you know like why can't you take a principled meat-eating guy stand as well oh my wife wouldn't allow that oh yeah i forgot about the old ball and jean i forgot about that i think now do you guys how many kids do you guys have uh just one okay you're old okay well and after a year it's still missed what if you told him why don't you do an experiment do an experiment one week you go vegan see if you can get him to do it actually what

you got to do is go through the grandchildren so once your kid gets old enough to start talking you got to convince your kid to, you know, throw it, try and get her grandpa, or his I don't remember if his boy or girl, to eat meat. That's the only way you can get grandparents to not be set in their ways is if they're grandchildren. Like my dad, he's like, he hates change. But if my son in a few years goes up to him and says, like, I want you to do this and it's not what he normally does, he would just do it because it's his grand kid.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the odds of that happening though they're slim because we go camping he's got to bring his own grill because he won't grill on something that had meat on he won't oh wow okay this is extreme this this feels like less of a principled uh stand necessarily or an ethical one but just more of a disgust like autism or something well um i'm not a medical health professional miles and uh you know i'm not going to touch that with a two inch pole right now but what i will say is that it's it's weird that he won't even like his mom at Tylenol when he was when she was pregnant what you're saying aceto freedom me no um so i think that it's it's much different it's it's not it seems to be like uh yeah like a tick almost a mental tick is he a nice guy otherwise

yeah yeah he's he's an introvert but he's a nice guy and no kidding does he judge everyone for eating meat? Very much so, yeah. Okay. That's the worst. I don't mean to rag on Craig, but that's just the worst. Oh, God, you poor guy. Yeah. It's a tough one. I got I got hollered at by the old lady because I made a comment about how many ingredients were in his Beyond burgers versus my meat patty. And boy, that didn't go over well. Well, I mean, because if his true motivation is to to uh it must be for his i don't know i don't understand it you know i can't sit here on the same train yeah well i think you just give up as my advice and then maybe at some point he'll he'll just let you do it you know that's kind of where i got to and i was hoping you'd have some better advice than that but

well i tried well that was charlie's advice that wasn't my advice no let me take a stab at see what i did there. While Miles is thinking, because Miles, I said, and Miles, you said give up. No, I didn't say give up, Miles way, you know? No, no, no, no, before that. You're faced with a tough challenge and Barron's just throws in the towel, tucks tail, and gets out of town. No.

Not I, though. What I was saying was that you should pretend to be vegan for a week and see if that works. That's a, that's a tall order. I'd probably die. Yeah, you're trying to kill the guy or what? I said pretend, you know? Okay. I could maybe pretend.

See if the vegan thing is what makes it happen. Just tell him you're vegan from now on and see how long it takes him to let you call him Craig. Okay. And then you will know that if it's a vegan thing or if it's just like a this is your father-in-law, this is who he is. He just don't like you. And he is, you know, just waiting it out. I'll just carry some green food coloring with me whenever I go over there. and I'll bring my pulled pork and pour us some green food coloring and tell him it's grass.

There you go. Yeah, that's actually perfect. Tell him it's a new roubola. Yeah. Maybe that's how I get him to try it. You know what? You can tell him the way he gets like meat-flavored vegetables, you know, with the impossible burger. Tell him you're getting vegetable meat-flavored meat-flavored vegetable.

No, you're getting vegetable-flavored meat. You're getting meat-flavored. No, you're getting rice is so hard. You're getting vegetable-flavored meat. Vegetable-flavored meat. And he's getting meat-flavored vegetables. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to give you guys a throwback here to one. My wife and I first started dating. I went over to their house. First time I ever met her parents, we sat down for dinner, and they made carrot dogs. I don't know if you know what a carrot dog is. A carrot dog is. You take carrot and you boil it down and then you put it on a bun and pretend it's a hot dog.

Do you get catch of a mustard and relish with it or no? You could put whatever you want on it, but at the end of the day, it's a carrot on a bun. You know, I'd like put my carrots and buns, but not that kind. Yeah, to each their own, that's a weird one. It's a family podcast. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Carat dog is great, man.

I want to meet Craig, honestly. I just want to be around him. No, he doesn't eat meat. You will not meet Craig. I know. I want to be in his aura, man. I want to see. I want to experience all of Craig.

Does he have like, does he have like a guilty hobby or something? What was your joke? You said you want to meet Craig. And I say, you don't eat meat. It's going to be a tall. That's funny.

That was funny. Sometimes I blow right past miles. jokes and this i'm glad you finish that sentence some i i get that charlie next time you're up here uh stop by racks and rods uh down in stella there and uh you might have a chance to meet old craig wait wait wait wait rax and rods he's a fisher uh no stop at the bar racks and rods and you might have a chance to meet craig there oh he goes down to the i didn't realize that was uh bar in Rhinelander, uh, rax and right. I thought it was maybe a strip joint, you know.

I mean, I thought it was a fishing shop. Yeah, that's the best kind of bar, you know, where it could be like a dry cleaner, a fishing shop, a strip club. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, no, pop in. Say hi. We'll be around. Okay. So you go to the bar with him, though. Yeah, yeah, he's on my pool team. I honestly, I'm liking Craig more and more

the more we tie he's just a nod duck man he's a very very odd duck yeah he's got a he's got a touch well tell him tell him that we say hi and uh sounds like sounds like a fun guy honestly i've changed my opinion about what you did there fun guy yeah mushrooms okay right we'll get that yeah well yeah yeah if you could just do me a favor and go on ahead and tell everybody start moving south um i heard illinois's nice this time of year i'll i will i will do that oh i mean you got let the weather get a little worse and the fibs leave you know yeah i mean yeah there's just there's no properties left to buy up here you're all bought up yeah that's your fault charlie that's not my fault i didn't tell anybody we should we should do a billboard smear campaign on barons up up on the

U.P. San silenced Barrens. First of all, I didn't tell anybody that I was up there. Not a soul. It's just people start chit-chat. Charlie, you're like the show Yellowstone

where they did a show. The Yellowstone's about not getting people from California to move to Montana, but in reality, it just made more people from California want to move to Montana. Yeah, right. Right.

like oh god that actually looks sick yeah i never thought about moving to montana until you did this show about not moving to montana now all i want to do is move to montana it's dairyland you know um all right well uh yeah uh yeah i guess there's nothing to say anymore since there's nothing to buy but anyways good luck with your father-in-law hopefully he'll like you one of these days maybe if you shoot better pool he'll like you that's a yeah i can try that we'll give it a go well it's good chit chatting yeah you enjoy that uh enjoy them beers you're probably drinking i'm gonna go find one of my own all right real good um it's so strange that he won't just let him call him craig and they shoot pool together you know i mean i i go between uh i'm really

trying to see it from Craig's perspective here because I think it's kind of hilarious I think it's hilarious that like you know he still can't call him that and he's with his buddies and he's like is that your son? Yeah. Does he call you Mr. White? Yeah. I can't believe that.

I can't either. I know. He's still doing it. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't pick up that I was joking when I said it the first time. I mean, he's just continuing 10 years later. Yeah. It's too good. Too good to tell him. I bet he's just, you know, jerking his chain a little bit

glad you finished that sentence yeah why what else would be jerkin you know and what was his name again Jason Jason seems like a good

son-in-law too you know yeah nice guy you know yeah he does because he's got respect because he still calls him Mr. White or doesn't call him Craig you know yeah he's playing cribbage with him he's drinking whiskey with him he's playing pool with him yeah i mean it seems like i think he likes him more than he's got none i honestly think it hurts

him a lot you know we should have dug into that into that god shoot we're too as soon as he started waving the vegan flag in front of us we got distracted sugar tits miles one of us has to be looking out for the false flags that's true you know all right yeah okay next time next time yeah uh one of us will be on false flag patrol but anyways um miles i think that's it for today i think we did podcast in the books i think we did all we can do it's nice to be right here in the same spot where anne was back 10 years ago no it wasn't 10 years ago but 15 years ago no no the other way eight years ago i'm not as old as you you got to remember six years ago it was five years six seven seven seven yeah you're getting up there miles getting up there and um it's just

nice to feel that love i feel that connection right here you know uh if you close your eyes right now you take off one at your headphone yeah you can hear all of the woo girls that were here last weekend still still echoing in here all the woo girls yeah well let's do shots oh woo girl yeah Woo gal. Can you hear it? Did you listen? Actually, I think I have to hold my ear up to this beer. Yeah.

Oh, you hear it? Oh, there it is. Oh, my gosh. They're getting patroned. Yeah. All right. Well, guys, thanks for tuning into another episode. We'll see in the next one.

Love you guys. Bye, guys. Don't forget to tip your bartender. Okay. Okay, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now. Oudaloo.