Bellied Up - Father-in-Law Is in LOVE With an Only Fans Model #153

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

We're at Suite Shots in Fargo, North Dakota. Our first caller (9:18) works at a racetrack, has spent time in prison, and shares a bizarre story you won’t want to miss. The next caller (43:05) believes his future father-in-law is in love with an OnlyFans model. And finally, (58:58) we play a voicemail that’s guaranteed to make you smile.Leave us a voicemail: 218-505-3095BELLIED UP LIVE TICKETShttps://www.etix.com/ticket/p/67356663/bellied-up-podcast-special-event-chicago-zanies-chicago

Folks, if you're looking to come see Bellied Up Live July 8th at Zany's in Chicago, go to CharlieBarrons.com right now. Click on the tour deal and there it'll be. Buy your ticket. Buy one for your friend and we'll see you soon. See you in Chicago. Well folks, here we are. Another episode of the Bellied Up podcast. I'm Charlie Barron's here with my good buddy. Charlie, you're looking good today, man. Well, thanks, Miles. You look good. You're looking good. You're in Chipper. Miles. My pleasure. How can I not be chipper when I'm in proximity to swing golf clubs? Charlie? I don't know. Here we are miles. Here we are. We are at sweet shots in Fargo. Sweet shot. Bellied up to the bar. We actually met some high school kids here. Yeah. Doesn't sound good coming

out of your mouth miles. No, they were coming to golf and they said that they're, they're doing senior skip day. Senior skip day. Did you ever do a senior skip day? I don't remember. Yeah. Feel like maybe. Yeah. I feel like it was like organized by the school. So it wasn't even really skip day. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I did see a whole herd of them walking in here. I said, that looks like a field trip, but those kids look too old for field trips. I wasn't sure. Fraternity party. It's right before there. They are right out there. Some nice swings I've seen so far. Yeah. Yeah. Some of these kids have, uh, it looks like they belong to a country club or something.

That guy, not so much. He just shanked the hell out of that. You were telling me that you almost didn't make it here today. Yeah, Miles, it was rough, man. So listen, I'll tell you this. So this morning, 530 a.m., right? Well, five o'clock a.m., 515. I wake up because I'm flying here to see you and I'm sitting on the throne, the hopper, as they call it out on the East Coast. You know, they call it throne a hopper. I did not know that I was sitting down.

I was being and just just in case I was prepared. As you do live alone. So like you're the one who was open after exactly. So less splashback. Yes. Yeah, I understand. I get it. You understand. So I'm thinking a mind goes through. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I get it. You understand. So I'm thinking a mind goes through my

a thought goes through my mind. Your mind goes through a thought or my mind goes through a thought. One of the two either way, they connected. And I was like, geez, I don't know where my wallet is. I was like, now it's fine. I'll just use my passport. And then I thought, I wonder if that's expired. Turns out I forgot to check. So I went to the airport and I'm like, okay, where's my wallet? Oh, I'd forgot my wallet. And I was like, oh, where's my passport? Oh, I forgot to check. And then I look at it right outside the TSA line and lo and behold, it expired April 25th, 2025. Can you believe that?

And as we're recording this, this is what? May 7th, May 7th, 20. So I'm like, I mean, it's so crazy that that thought crossed my mind. I haven't thought about renewing my passport ever in like 10 years, 10 years. Yeah. Yeah. Literally haven't thought about it. And now, lo and behold, I think about it. And I just think that that's crazy that that thought crossed my mind.

Happen to be true. I happen to not do anything about it. So anyways, I'm getting to my point, Miles. Telling the story here. I'm building up the suspense. That's the you. Yep. Go ahead. Oh, thank you, Jared. Jared is like our parent. He is. I did almost spill that beer. Hey, honey, watch your beer.

Oh, yeah, there's another beer. So, yeah, we got one. So miles, I'm freaking out now. I get up to the TSA stand and I'm like, I got to play cool. So I get up there, I hand them my ID, you know and I'm like, I got to play cool. So I get up there. I handed my ID, you know, I I'm your passport, my passport. It's an idea. No, I know. I just thanks for the clarifying that you don't have your wallet. Yeah. I give them my passport and I try to play cool, you know? So I say, Hey, nice shirt. You know, this dude looked at me like I had cocaine in all of my pockets.

And I had cargo shorts, cargo pants on. Miles, he let me through. He didn't bat an eye. He didn't say anything. Nothing. I just got through. I was already ready to call you. I was acting nervous.

Everything. I don't know how it happened. I got through TSA with an expired passport today. And today is the day that they were starting the real ID thing. And you don't have a real ID either? No, I, a passport is a real ID, but this is an expired real ID,

which I think now makes it federally a fake ID. So isn't that amazing? That is amazing. Now it makes me think two things from here. One, I'm very lucky or two, you know how you're staying in front of the camera these days? I think they have biometrics and I think this whole- They already know if you're legit or not.

They already know. Yeah. So now the question is, cause I got to fly back, do I have my wallet overnighted here or do I just roll the dice again at the Fargo airport? Um, well, so Anna is having to, and actually she forgot her ID and passport. Oh damn. She had nothing, but she had her wallet. She just didn't have her ID. I don't know why, but like she was able to like show them a bunch of credit cards with her name on it and stuff and she was able to get okay

So they yeah, so they can do it. Yeah. Okay, so it's not that big of a deal Yeah, like if you have a bunch of credit cards and it's the same name that's on there like they I don't that happened to us the faraway airport. Oh Okay, I think it'd be alright. So this story didn't have as high a stakes as I thought it Yeah, but you think that would have at least said something like I can imagine be like, hey, you know, this is expired, right? And like, yeah, I know, I just I didn't realize it. And then he'd be like, well, I'll let it slide this time.

Oh, I didn't say anything. I didn't think you could even get away with that. I guess I just watched too many movies. Yeah, it's like I liked I think about sometimes the fact that these, you know, when you were working at Auntie Anne's pretzel shop, did you care about that job? No, there's probably some TSA ages that don't give a shit about their job either. Oh, like all of them. So if he makes a whole deal about your passport being expired for like 15 days or whatever

the math is, he's like, this is going to just make my the math is. Yeah. He's like, this is going to make my day suck. But I thought it was like, I thought it was a thing. You know how they scan them. I thought it was like, you know, the robot agent won't let you through. Like, sorry, man, I can't. It's against federal law. I think they just like do that. So they have a record that you're there. Oh, okay. I think they just scan it. I don't know. Well, you think you think, but you think you got a good story to tell a guy turns out to be a nothing. So yeah, I don't know. I would be freaking out as well. Yeah. That's like my fear. I saw a tick tock is people like when you're flying abroad. Oh

yeah. Like you're like check to see if you have a passport and he like goes, I guess and puts his passport in his backpack and then he just sits there and then just opens it and looks, makes sure he does it again. He does like 10 times. I am. I've been that guy. Yeah. My biggest fear is to be like, lose my passport in a foreign country and then just like not be able to get back. Yeah. I had States know cause you kind of do have that fear of like you lose your passport out there. You know, it's kind of like a Will Smith when he puts his hand on the big orb and men in black removes his fingerprints. He just does not exist anymore. I'm going to end up, you know, begging on the side of the street here in Jamaica, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. Just you and you're going to be slinging weed in Jamaica for the rest of my life. I don't think anyone's going to be buying weed from you in Jamaica. I'm trustworthy. We're in Jamaica and we're going to buy weed from you. Yeah. This guy knows where the good we say I'm not even going to have a job that I can't even get a job. You could sweep floors miles. That's true. You sweep floors for the weed dealer and then sell the shake to tourists. Just American tourists that are afraid of anyone. Yeah. You lose your passport and you you ask you like I'm chilling. Yeah. I just got to go back to Walgreens. Yeah. I don't do it. I I don't even know what is involved with me and getting a new passport.

Yeah. I back when that happened, I was making an appointment now. That's it. Yeah. Do you think I can get the TSA pre redone at the same time? Cause I haven't renewed that in a while and that's gotta be close to up. And if I lose that, if I lose my TSA, I will lose my soul. Oh, and you'll just, we'll miss everything. If I have to wait in the regular line at the airport, Charlie, you're not arriving early miles. I showed up 22 minutes before my flight this morning. Like they have been boarding for five minutes as I was terrified. This guy was going to hold me up for not having my ID. I always barely make it.

Thank God at the Milwaukee airport, they have the recombobulation area. You needed to recombobulate a little bit. I did, but I didn't have time. So you're still discombobulated. I'm still discombobulated. We'll recombobulate you here and we'll take some collars. How about that? That sounds nice. I'd like that Michael. You got miles and Charlie from the belly up podcasts. Holy shit. What's up fellas. Not much. What's up with you. Oh, you know, I'm just taking off at work. You're taking off at work. Good for you. Well, and speaking of guys, Michael works at a racetrack. It sounds like he's a wrecker

or a bulldozer or something like that. Michael, what do you do at the racetrack? I run a record and a rollback. Okay. And 95, 95% of the time I'm just sitting there listening to your guys's podcast or flipping through a tick tock. That makes us all feel better about the safety over there. Wait, Michael, what you got to back up the, thecker here for a second and explain exactly what those machines are for those not familiar with the process. A wrecker is just a short little stubby truck and it's got a big extension arm on it.

And say someone puts their front end into a wall, we go up and we have this thing called a spreader bar. We just back up to it, hook it up by the wheels, pick it up and take her on back to their, back to their garage. And that's pretty much our day. This is great, ma'am. You're like, you like a character and they're like the next mad max I feel or he's just, he's just made her from cars as well. That's true. That's a better reference right there. I like that one. Are you guys familiar with, uh, middle Ohio at all? Do you guys get into racing or I know a very novice amount about racing.

You guys familiar with Indy car? Yep. Yeah. So we get Indy car out here every 4th of July. And that's just, it's, it's the chance, man. I love it. It's just tiny. So your record. So did you, how do you get this job? Did you start as someone who was doing that for the public sector and then you transition into the private sector or how does that work? So, no, I, I don't want to deal with people. So I've never done, you know, tow trucking

for the public, but I started working at the track in 2013 for the security department. And then I got tired of dealing with all the shenanigans of people and all the bullshit they bring with. So I was like, you know what, I'm just going to switch it over where I only have to deal with one person. And that's the driver after they have a bad day. So I've been running record rollback for Oh, three years now. It was the best, best move I've ever done. So you're kind of like you're like mostly spend most of your day like a pitcher in the bullpen, you know, like just sitting there,

just biding your time, you know, scrolling, tick tock, walking around, probably chewing something that's going to give you some kind of something in a few years. But, you know, scrolling, tick tock, walking around, probably chewing something that's going to give you some kind of something in a few years. But you know, and then when your time comes, like what's your rollout song? Do they play a song for you when you come out? Little danger zone, you know, like, what is it? You know, if, if I had a rollout song, it would probably be, uh, Oh, little, uh, three, six mafia, you know, uh, popping my collar, you know, they're ever since. I can't remember.

You know, I just go out there and we're the rock stars of the racetrack. So these people got to know that when they get picked up by us, they're in good hands and we're going to make sure they get to where they go. And they're with, they're with the top of the top. Yeah. I imagine Charlie, he's, he's currently just wearing overalls with no t-shirt on underneath with one of the straps just hanging off. And I'm telling you guys, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried. Oh, what are you wearing? All right. Well right now we're just, well it's lunchtime. So I went and got pizza

and a pack of smokes, but I was going to say you probably had a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. So I got part of it. Right. Oh yeah. You did. But right now it's just kind of a chill day. We're watching wax and we're about to do the old oil on it But I'm just in my shitty old boots in some shitty jeans and my work shirt. So It's button-up work shirt We're not that fancy. Okay. All right, so we weren't too far off. No, you weren't too far we only get real fancy when like We had NASCAR come through, uh, about two years ago and they wanted us to wear a,

a little, a pullover, you know, a little polo shirt. Oh yeah. Dress it up. Yeah. They wanted us to look good, even though we have a, a little fire coat over it. So you're not going to see the nice little polo we're wearing at all. You're just going to see our boots, our black our black pants we wear. And then the fire coat. I think you got to start building yourself a brand at the track. I think you need to adopt the overalls. No shirt. I think you need a coming out song. Yeah. I think you

need to, as you're rolling up to the truck, have an American flag out the window, you know, roll some coal and, and, and, and make it kind of like you've seen the Savannah bananas, Charlie, Savannah bananas, right? So it's baseball, but it's about all the other stuff. This racetrack needs to make everyone that works there a character. And when it's your go time, you're entertaining the crown. Yeah. Cause otherwise it's just wasted time for the crowd. Like this, you guys could be like the rodeo clowns. They didn't use to dress as clowns. They used to just be guys that would get their ass kicked by bulls. But then at one point they're like, Hey, let's be clowns. And then people loved it. It just

adds, you know, value per second to the experience. This is how you got to pitch it to your boss. Because as soon as you do, as soon as you become that guy, I mean, are you married? I am, but we are legally separate. Oh, okay. All right. Well, I mean, yeah, this is this is your, you're not going to be upset about that anymore. Cause my Lord, look at, look at what's going to happen. What's your official title right now? Oh, you mean like for the job or yeah, what? Well, what I'm Mr. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I'm not MD yet. Yeah. What's your job position? What does it say on your, your LinkedIn?

Oh shit. I don't have a LinkedIn. I'm not that I'm not that busy. I know I was saying that I don't have one either. So don't worry. Mine just says a Mike Finnerty safety 20, 25. That's what my little employee card says. Just says safety. Yep. Just says safety. I need to go down to the office and have them put in their record rollback extraordinaire. That's what I'm talking about. Now he's thinking the record rollback. Yeah, man.

Wait, hold on. Jordan, go back to work now. Go back to work now. Keep it down there. God damn it. I thought it was about to work, but I'm not getting off this one. Are you hopping in the truck right now? No, I'm in a, I'm in my old view. Cause I just got back from getting pizza. I liked the drive. Oh, I did. I'm telling you what I bought this beer from my grandma and she passed away and she's a fucking beaut. So your grandma died and she still made you pay for the pay for the car. He paid the estate. I paid the estate. That's still made him. That's still bad. You lose your grandma and have to pay for her. I mean it was worth it though. It's an Oh seven with CERN and when I got it, it only had 60 grand or 60,000 miles on it. And I only paid two

grand for it. So I wasn't that up. Okay. All right. That's a nice ride. That's a nice ride. You got a sweetheart deal on it. All right. In your grandmother's will, she left you the Buick that you can have for $2,000. Yeah, I had to pay for it, but you know, I got it. She left you opportunity to purchase Buick after your cousins got the offer for a ticket to the auction with your cousins. I'm telling you, my cousins were trying to sneak it from me. Like they didn't already have good cars. I was like, you think you're going to snake this one from me? You got another thing coming. I'm going to the bank.

So you guys are a strictly Buick family. It sounds like, well, you know, we get good deals because my uncle works at a Buick GMC dealership. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. Got to take on the family deals as you can get them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. hell. This surprises me. Really? Oh, no. I'm shit box king, buddy. I love shit box. I believe it.

Well, I believe it. Have you all you've exclusively owned shit boxes before this beautiful Buick? I'm telling you, I've had three secondhand Ram 1500s and all the transitions go out on them, but I always fix them. So I love them. Fucking truck. Good for you. You also, have you ever spent any time at a demolition Derby? You seem like a demo Derby guy. You know, I've been there, but I've never participated. Something tells me I think you'd love it. I probably would. And I, you know, I'm sure the soon toto-be ex-wife

wouldn't mind if I took the old Grand Prix out there and just smashed it because it's already sounds like hell. About three, four so the windows don't go down. It's rusted. It's got a couple flat tires. How much role did the cars have in the divorce? Well they were going to have a big role because I was going to be without the beer ache. But then she went and got herself a Jeep. And so I just got the beer, which was cool. Oh, okay. I just meant it. Cause if not, I was going to be stuck. Oh no, no, no. The cars weren't the cause of

the divorce. I was the cause of the divorce. Uh-oh. What'd you do? Yeah. Go ahead. Oh, you know, I'm just an asshole. Well, you're just an asshole. That tells us nothing.

It tells you nothing. Well, I'll put it this way, buddy. I had to go sit down and do a little bit of some prison time so you know, there's a way Got it. See this what happens miles when you go prying and you shouldn't be doing that Why start getting too much of the story? What'd you go to prison for? well, you know just a little bit of a bar fight and I might have a broke the guy's jaw and some places. Yeah. Wow. You broke a guy's jaw at the bar.

I did. Well, we were out for my buddy's bachelor party and we were up in the tourist town and we went to this little local bar there and they were getting mouthy. And I said, you know what? You're invited for a Tilly outside, but if you want your ass kicked, but if not, just sit down and drink your beer. Way to deescalate that situation. Ultimatums are always good. You know? I mean, I gave him a choice. It was here to sit down and enjoy your beer and get your ass kicked in front of your friend. Yeah. The judge didn't think that was a good choice to give them either. Oh, no. Oh no. He looked at me like I was the scum of the earth. I come up and he said to me, you come up in my town as a tourist and you're

starting problems. So I was like, I didn't start the problems. He started it with me. I just finished it. Yeah. What actually happened? What was he mad about? And I started a fight and then the guy was, uh, you know, he was, went to the hospital and I was being a little bit mouthy. I'm like, well, it's not my fault. He was mouthy and the judge, he didn't like that so much. I mean, I mean, what started the initial spat? Oh, well, you know, we, me and my buddies, we come in there, we're just, we're just trying to have a good time, drink beers, you know, smoke a little bit my buddies, we come in there, we're just, we're just trying to have a good time, drink beers, smoke a little bit of weed, just chill. We're, you know, we're up there. We're having a good time.

And as soon as we walk in, the bartender goes, Oh, it's another bachelor party. I'm like, Oh, this fucking guy. What town? What town? Austin? Now you ever heard of port Clinton, Ohio? No, but that's like the bachelor party Mecca of another batch. Is that Nashville for bachelor parties? Like Nashville is to bachelor at parties. Yeah, that's what I'm getting. Is it, I don't think, is it on the lake somewhere? Is it like an up? No, I got one. Uh, it's on, no, you can keep that. Um, it's on a Lake Erie like pretty much walk around town and you're right on Lake Erie. I get it. I get

it. So, so the guy said, uh, another bachelor. And you said, I'm going to beat this guy's ass. Well, no, no, no, no. It didn't happen exactly like that. Let me, let me back up a little bit. So the bartender says, oh no, it's another bachelor party. And I just kind of brushed that off. And then his body's sitting in the corner. We're like, where are you guys from?

I was like, well, we're from Mansfield. What's the deal, guys? And he was like, this is our bar. You don't belong here. I'm like, hmm, I was like, that's funny. I didn't see a private bar only on the door before I walked in. So what's the deal? And he was like, this is our bar. We don't like you fucking locals. I'm like, I don't give a shit. I'm not here to talk to you. I'm here to drink some beers, have some shots of whiskey, go on my merry way without you guys making a buck. And he didn't like the way I was talking to him. So, you know, can't imagine that, you know, probably not. I was being a mouthy asshole,

which I mean, but the situation like, why are you starting problems with us? We just come in here. We're just trying to drink beers, dude. What's the deal? Yeah. I mean, in your defense, you were hammered, you know? Yeah, that's fair. I mean, there's just no surprise that whiskey was involved. He's doing some shots of whiskey. Yeah, of course. Oh yeah. I tell you, my buddy gave me a ride. Go ahead. Go ahead. I was gonna say, did it ever occur to you and the fellas to maybe just hit up a different bar? Yeah. That was the second bar we went to the first bone is cool. And the second one was proud starter. Not my one buddy's

like, maybe we should leave. I'm like, yeah, it's probably a good idea. So I cash out and we're getting to leave and the guy turns around and he's like, yeah, you better leave I'm like, oh well now we can't Call me chicken Pretty much and I already had the whiskey in me so I was like, alright buddy you started this. Yeah Yep. So how much time did you do? I Did a year and a did a year and a half, a year and a half. Holy shit. What'd you do to this guy? Do you die? No, he didn't die. I just, I shattered his jaw

and a couple of pieces. Wow. So you own the bar now? Like I feel like you guys basically fought for pink slips of the bar. No, I don't know the bar. I, I don't go up there anymore. Cause I feel like if I do that, I'm going to be met with the police telling me to turn around. It's a very smart move by you. Yeah. That's the problem with fighting man is like if you win, you lose like you lose. Yeah, you can't get like when you're a kid, you get into fights, you know, you go to the bar, you do that. And then when you get older, you realize I'm going to lose like everything I got to maybe win this fight. You know, I wish I was thinking about it at the time. I wasn't the lectures about a

year and a half delayed. Charlie. I got one more question for you. Can you provide any insight to us about what prisons like it's fucking weird? I'll tell you that. It's a weird, weird hat. So, uh, well, all right. We'll buckle in boys. It's about to get weird So My first day there. I've never been to prison. I'm not gonna lie to you. I was shitting my pants I'm like these guys they got probably what my ass just says I'm a skinny little white boy and It wasn't like that. I had a cube with

And, uh, but it wasn't like that. I had a cube with four other dudes in it. We were in a big old dorm with like 200 other dudes. And, uh, so you have these roads of where everyone lives, right? And on the first row is the people that come in, like they're the new, new fish, whatever you want to call them, they're the new guys. And, uh, so this one, it's my first week, right? Or it's my second week. Um, another writing comes in and here comes this guy.

Didn't look like a guy had titties, had an ass and had long black hair. I'm like, what in the, what is going on here? And then, uh, so anyways, I'm, you know, I'm sitting down at the car table, we're playing a little bit stage and this guy walks by and some, uh, I don't know. What do you call the real tight pants girls wear? What do you call those? I forget yoga. Yoga.

Yeah, those I'm like, what? He's just walking around showing that I'm like, okay Now it's not to get real weird So I wake up the morning because I got a job Working in the library just cleaning and whatnot. I wake up and I go to take a shower And I'm like, that's weird. Why are people clapping in here? And I'm like, that's weird. Why are people clapping in here? Well, I'll tell you what I look over and there's a curtain over the shower and I see four four feet boys

What why Go ahead. Go ahead. No you go ahead. I just going to say I turned right around and I let them finish their session. And then I got into the shower about 15 minutes later. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I was maybe looking for like, how's the food, you know, you know, the beds comfy, maybe something like that. I did not expect cheeks clapping in the shower. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The, the food was like the equivalent of like to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to little diet. Yeah. It was an unwanted diet, but it sure was a good diet. Probably took a little umph of that punch, you know? I don't know. I haven't tried again because now I'm on probation. So I'm not trying to stand up back there. Yeah. Did you get any fights in prison? No, I didn't. You know, I was, uh,

I learned I liked to read a lot because the TV there, it kind of sucks. And I got tired of watching TV. So I picked up some books and I wrote a lot. Nice. There you go. Yeah. A little positive out of it. Sounds like a, it sounds like a prison librarian to me, miles. Yeah. What, what was your favorite book you read in prison? Probably as the crow flies by Jeffrey Archer. Nice. I haven't read it. It's a pretty good book. This like you said you have I have not I haven't no it's like the Midwest Shawshank Redemption We're hearing right now, you know, okay. So speaking of Shawshank Prison I was at was literally when I come out I would like walk around yard stuff. I could see Shawshank You could see Shawshank. The prison I was at was literally when I come out, I would like walk around yard stuff. I could see Shawshank. You could see Shawshank. Yeah, dude. I believe in Mansfield.

So where the prison was, the old reformatory, which you guys know Shawshank is we call it reformatory. Yeah. Yeah. It's literally like you would walk out of your house, warehouse looking deal and it's right there, huh? Well, you know, I didn't know I didn't even know where Shawshank was I never even thought to ask where Shawshank Yeah, yeah, it's right here in Manfield Wow Well, this is a this is a whole new we've we've covered a lot of territory on this call of territory on this call or territory than we bark in for that thing going on in the shower. Was that a, was that something everyone wanted to be a part of or if you were into that, that's what you did kind of deal. If you did, you just kind of look the other way

and let those guys do what they do. It's got, it's a don't ask, don't tell situation. A lot of things are don't ask. Don't tell. It's like CTE in the NFL. You know, what kind of, what kind of contraband did you have snuck in there? Well, let me clarify just in case my PO is listening. I did not sneak anything in there. Okay. But you saw, I had witnessed there is a little bit of pot. There was some math. There was tobacco. There was stuff. That's crazy. Yeah. You can get all that. Oh, you can get all that. And people would make hooch out of like, we'd get little fruits and stuff. So people would bring it back from the chow hall and they'd let it ferment and add like a ketchup and a jelly and all sorts of other shit. And they, we get these little

trash cans, you know, the tiny little office one. Yeah. They'd put a trash bag inside those, let everything ferment and they'd make hooch. That's wow. Wait'd put a trash bag inside those, what everything for men and they'd make hooch. That's wait, who chatted? What? What orange fruit, fruit, fruits. Yeah. Jellies, jelly stuff like that. So is, is the shower cheek clapping the way that you get your hands on some meth or what's, is that the form of payment or what, what are we talking on payment wise? So I know cash amp was a big thing and Apple pay. They just call their people from the outside and money would exchange and the next thing someone would be up for four straight days.

Yeah. Why would you want, why would you want to do meth in prison? Well, I mean, they come in there, you know, they were drug addicts before that was their drug choice I said like hey, I can keep doing it. I suppose Wow What was your weapon? Do you have a shank? Yeah, I did not it wasn't like so I was at a level one, which was the lowest of the low You got one two threes and then I think it's three R's what they call it where you only get like you get an hour out of your spell a day and that's about it. Wow. So you were in prison light. This is what it sounds like.

Yeah, pretty much not prison genuine draft. All right, man. Well, we appreciate you calling in. I know you got to get back to work. So yeah, think about your drive out song though, to bring this full circle. I will. I'll tell you guys before you go, if you ever want to come out, I can get you taken. Okay. Great. Great. That's huge. Yeah. We, we just might take you up on that. How much is a ticket run in these days? Oh, I get tickets for free. So if you bring me, I'm not going to drink it, but if you bring me a bottle of that, a very brandy, I'll give you both weekend. Hell yeah. I'll bring you two bottles. Yeah. Maybe we come to town and we go to that and we,

we go to a show a bellied up from the prison. No, no, no, no, no entertainment. Think, think about the, okay, you're good. You don't want to go back. You know, he's like, he's like, I don't, he's like, I don't want to go back, but I might go back and I can't embarrass myself in front of all my future roommates. You know, if I, if I bring those guys there, I'll never hear the end of it. Well, look, good luck. Stay, stay out of trouble. Of course. And, um, good luck with the divorce. It can't be easy. I've been there, man.

I've been there. Um, so good luck. And, um, thanks for calling in. Before we go, I want to adjust my original overalls outfits. You've been to prison, dude. We need to get you an orange jumpsuit. Can we, can we get a different color? Yeah. What's your favorite color? Uh, I don't know. I like the classic, you know, blue jean denim Dan overall. There you go. Oh, that's the Shawshank special man. Yeah. You really like shots. All right. All right. Well, we'll make it happen. We'll make it

happen. Well, thanks for calling in today, man. Well, thanks for having me. This was awesome. Yeah. Good luck with everything. And we're glad you're on the straight and narrow now. Yes, sir. Oh, good luck with the podcast. I'll be listening to more. All right. Thank you kindly. We'll talk to you soon. You know, his voice didn't sound like I went to prison for breaking a guy's jaw. That was shattering his jaw. Yeah. Yeah. It's always also a guy in his scenario. He never, they never say, I just broke his jaw. They always say that they shattered it to what's prison for a year and a half. I'm going to say he shattered. Yeah, I'm going to say like you just break it one place.

That thing had to be rebuilt. And this is a good time for a nice PSA folks. You're having some whiskeys with your buddies and someone starts mouthing off. Just be the bigger man. Just go to the next bar. All those all they're looking for is attention. Right. You know? Yeah. And I, I, I had this little, little quick story on that. I was walking with my buddy. Yeah. You've told me, I tell you it on this podcast. I don't know. Whatever. So

I was walking with my buddy and this dude is driving in a ride in a bird scooter. He's got someone on the back of it and he was coming right toward me and my buddy. And my buddy was like, you're not supposed to be on the sidewalk with that scooter because he's kind of a narc. And that pissed this guy off. And because he had his lady on the back of the scooter, apparently he felt like he had to show, um, uh, show force, you know? So he comes by and we're like halfway down the block. Now he comes by on a bird scooter and he does a sort of a drive by on a scooter.

He did like a clothes line, little haymaker. It was like a haymaker off the scooter, him in the back of that. I reflexively like went after the guy and fought him and I hit him a couple of times and got in the street. And then I saw this car coming and I had this flash go right to my head. This car hits this guy. He dies. It's over. Like for this guy. But then also, you know, I'm a I'm an idiot. I'm in a huge deal.

So then I pull him out of the street and then I'm like, all right, you got to chill, you got to chill, you got to chill. And then what ended up breaking the fight was this woman there with her dog. And she said, I'm calling the police because you're scaring my dog. That was the right move in this scenario, was whatever she did to deescalate it. But that was dumb. That was dumb on me. I'll tell you, maybe whatever she did to deescalate it. But that was dumb. That was dumb on me. I'll tell you. Maybe a great way to deescalate. Charlie, just unlock.

Just have someone announce that the police are coming and it'll deescalate everything. Even if they're not. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, it's it's it's the move because, yeah, you hit someone the wrong way and they knock they pass out. They can hit their head on a curb. You can die pretty easily from that stuff. That would be bad.

That would be bad. Glad you didn't do that. And then before you know it guys, you're sitting there in prison, just reading books and walking in the doors you wish you didn't walk into. So there you have it. So take another caller.

Let's do it. Hey Russell. Yeah. Welcome back by the way. Yeah, welcome back to the Belly podcast. So miles and I we've been we've been chit-chatting this we've been riffing it spitballing There's a lot of states in the Midwest. You've covered a lot of them which state gets injured the most Well, that is a good question and I cannot answer that like as far as the actual data Yeah, I don't have that but from my experience I would say you see a lot of injuries in you know the the states that have large metropolitan areas like in for example

in Wisconsin you have Milwaukee and a little bit into Madison in Minnesota for example you have obviously the Twin Cities, North Dakota I guess you can kind of say Fargo but what I've seen the worst injuries are the states that have a lot of rural roads that are like the two-lane 55 mile an hour roads those are where the most things happen Wisconsin has a ton of those anytime you get out of basically Milwaukee you hit those and so I'd say Wisconsin we has a ton of those. Anytime you get out of basically Milwaukee, you hit those. And so I'd say Wisconsin, we see a lot of, unfortunately a lot of bad injuries because of the two lane 55 mile an hour

roads. And you see a lot of, you know, you've got driveways up and down on me. You've got intersecting roads and, and so that's, that's what my experience has been as far as accidents and injuries, a lot of milk trucks, we do, we see them. Is it what a lot of milk trucks, a lot of milk trucks. We see a lot of truck injuries in Iowa and in North Dakota to North Dakota. There's some interesting, uh, they run some interesting rigs out there. So, and, uh, I don't know what it is. Sometimes I feel like they're just throwing anybody behind a wheel. They run some interesting rigs out there. So, and I don't know what it is. Sometimes

I feel like they're just throwing anybody behind a wheel. And I totally get the two lane road thing. Cause when I was in high school, I had a Dodge Dakota sport, not to flex the V eight, not to flex. Um, and me and my buddies were doing the old caravan to the lake, two lane road. And, uh, I was the last one in old caravan to the lake. Oh, two lane road. And I was the last one in the caravan or second to last or something. And there was a moment for us to pass a car because we were going the speed limit being a teenager, you know? Yeah, right. And long story short, we decided to do collectively as a group, a quad pass. Ah, always a good idea. So we decided to pass four cars at one time on a two lane road in Minnesota. And the first

three of us made it through no problem. And as I'm driving on the road and looking in my rear view mirror, I see my buddy pulling up the rear and luckily he was able to get past the last car and dart in the car in the other lane might've had to have slowed down quite a bit. And so it's a little PSA for everyone out there. Don't be miles in high school. That's a, just a good lesson all the way around. and you can even take out the in high school. Don't be like Miles. Maybe a class on that. Don't be like Miles and just walk through like his life stories and what he's done and

like what not to do. Yeah, that's the title of his memoir. What not to do. That's actually a good idea for a book. What not to do. Don't be like miles. All right. Well, listen, we're also, you be careful out there and we don't want you to have to call your brother. All right. Yeah. I appreciate that. You guys take it.

Be safe miles. No, you, you especially, but thank you guys. I appreciate you. See you soon. Thank you. see you soon. Thank you. Yeah. So guys, Neil has a spicy situation with his father-in-law. Neil, will you enlighten us on what's going on with your father-in-law? Yeah. So, well, technically he's going to be my father-in-law on Saturday, which adds to the chaos here. Okay. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah. So you want the short story? The whole story. We want the whole story. Okay. So just for a little reference, I didn't really know what was going on up until maybe about a month or two ago. Okay. Fresh news. But back in November, well, this is, this is going to be my fiance's father's third marriage or no, he's in the middle of his third marriage and they've been married thing about 12 years. And back in November where me, my fiance and I are going to Utah to visit

her mom. And he shows before we leave, he shows my fiance, some video, this girl doing cosplay, uh, some video game cosplay on his phone. And he's like, look at this cool friend of mine. And my fiance's like, that's kind of weird. Why he's like, look at this cool friend of mine. And my fiance's like, that's kind of weird. Why, you know, why are you showing me this Instagram video, this cosplayer, and why is she your friend? And we didn't think a whole lot of it. We thought he was either kidding or, um, just joking around and he thought it was cool. So whatever. And then fast forward a couple months

and we find out he's been supposedly messaging this woman and we dig a little deeper and turns out she's this only fan star making content with her husband on OnlyFans and, has been messaging this girl a lot, apparently every day and thinks he's in love and wants to start a new life with this only fans woman. This is the whole story. Holy smoke is modern-day Falling in love with stripper. Yeah That's exactly yeah, they wrote rap songs about this 20 years ago. Just not on the exact topic with an only fan It doesn't have the same right to it

Get it you get it Yeah, and what's crazy as a bit this only fans mouth is like now know Yeah. And what's crazy as a bet this only fans mouth is like, I don't know. 12 other guys who's sending their money on the reg. Probably at least don't you think? Well, I bet this is money on top of the standard only fans. I suppose. Yeah. Oh yeah. Seems like there's still more that is happening. We did a little test because it seemed, it just seemed odd to us that this only fans woman who's probably in her twenties or thirties is all of a sudden going to get up and leave her husband and the successful only fit. Well, I don't even know if it's successful, but so far it sounds successful. Yeah. Just to go get with some mid fifties balding man and start a new life. And so she,

this only fans woman, I can't remember her name, but that's what I'm going to refer to her as. Yeah. Yeah. We are going to get that name out of you by the end of this phone call. I don't remember her name. Yeah, dude. And don't sell your father-in-law short either. Maybe he's got a massive hog. Maybe he does. I don't know. I don't know if I want to find out, but Sounds like you're going down that road right now though. We did a little test cause she posts daily videos of like a, like a life log. And, and

one of these videos, her husband got her some new pet. I think it was like a parrot or something. And so we told, we told, uh, my future father-in-law, we said, Hey, how's, you know, how's, uh, she liking her new pet bird that she got is like, I don't know. She isn't said anything. So he messaged who he thought was the, uh, only fans girl, but apparently whoever he was messaging had no idea about this pet parrot or bird or whatever she got. So now we're thinking that either this only fans woman has outsourced her communications to some guy in India and he's been paying to message some guy in India who he thinks is this only fans woman. Oh dude I know he's just messaging another guy. Dude a hundred percent. So I gotta tell you man I have right now, right now I have like probably three people that message me asking that this has happened. One person's come to a show.

Another person is messing. Another person went to the news because and I was on the news talking about it. But people will impersonate public figures, make them think like, hey, this is my private account, whatever. Start messaging them, start getting money from them. Like a lot of times it's gift cards is a very well-known scam and they'll send pictures, the whole deal. And that, that happens so often. So it sounds like your father-in-law got scammed.

That's what we're thinking. How much money do you think he's been scammed out of? If you had to guess probably thousands. And the only reason I think that is because he's quite the gambler. And whenever he's home from work, maybe about, I don't know, maybe once a month he'll just go blow three grand at the casino. Yeah. When it's thousands. Yeah. Does he have a good job? Yeah. They, uh, he and his, uh, current wife own a trucking business. Now he's going to lose half of that. Um, yeah. What does the, does his wife know? Yeah. Yeah. That's the that's the other fun part of it. She knows and he's told her and they're just working through it or yeah. They

I guess they've been doing therapy. I don't know where it currently stands, but they've been doing therapy the last couple of weeks. So it should be a fun wedding. Uh, is, is the only fans model invited to the wedding as his plus, Oh, she for sure. God has his plus two. I hope that, you know, he sent an invite in the mail, took his invite and he send it out to her? Oh, that's that's yikes. It happens, man. It happens. It happens to a lot of people.

It really does. I mean, I know three people who it's it's happened. People impersonate me and they these people message me and they've sent money, sent money, sent money, sent pictures. So I thought we were in a romantic thing with like a terrible thing. It was like Charlie Baron's official eight to nine eight underscore. I was like, are you like, come on now? Oh, that is that's tough.

I hope that doesn't happen with I. I don't think I have enough note, right? You you probably do. You just don't check your messages. My brother checks my messages. So I heard about it. I mean, I checked some of them, like, like, um, some DMs, but not a lot. Um, and, uh, one person emailed me, they got to hold my actual email. And, um, yeah, I am contact the police. But that that shit does happen quite a bit

and it's popping up more and more. I was on a news story all about it. Yeah. I'll have to check it out. Yeah, check it out. It's on the real news. So your father-in-law, man, oh man, at least he's got money though.

It's really sad when they don't have money and they spend all of it on their Walmart gift cards. That's what these people ask for. Guys, I don't their Walmart gift cards. You know, that's what these people ask for. Guys, I don't need Walmart gift cards. Now, if it was asking for coordinates to your fishing spot and maybe a Fleet Farm gift card, that's a different story, but definitely not Walmart. Come on now.

So how do you, is he still, does he think he's getting scanned or does he still think that he's in love with this guy in India? I don't I don't I mean, I don't I really don't want to bring it up because it's kind of weird. But I think after our little test, I think that kind of opened his eyes a little bit because about about the time we started doing that test is when they started going to therapy.

So I think, uh, yeah, I think it's, I think it's getting fixed now, but I don't know for certain. Um, what is your fiance think of the whole scenario? She wants to cast rate them like chemically or with a rusty knife. Yeah. I think she wants to make it hurt as badly as possible. Okay. She's passed. Which is nice for you to know that now. So you know what you're getting into with this marriage. So yeah, don't you be going out only fans either. Otherwise you're going to get castrated yourself. I think I'll be fine. She wants kids. So I think I'll be all right for at least a couple of years. What does that mean? How many only fans accounts do you subscribe to? Just the one, just the one

that he went on her page. I'm waiting on a reply. Right. Five zero. Okay. Zero. Which way were your eyes looking when you said zero right at the phone. Okay. There you go. There you go. Are you still subscribed to that account by the way? Oh no. We never we never got on her only fans. We were on her like Instagram and thick talk. Got it. Okay. I got you. That makes sense. Well, Hey, good luck getting married man. Yeah. Yeah. That's exciting. You guys given a speech at the wedding? Probably not. Okay. Smart. You know, the thing about speeches at weddings, where there's booze and a microphone, anyone who wants to go goes, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you guys excited or is this playing a cloud over your marriage day? No, I'm still excited. I mean, to be honest, you know, I don't all this kind of stuff. I don't care about all that matters is her and I are happy. And that's, that's the goal right there. So I really don't care. Doesn't bother me a whole lot, but yeah, ma'am. Well, we're happy for you guys. Thanks. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I meant that heartfelt. We're not happy for you that your father-in-law is getting scammed by a guy in India. We're happy for your marriage.

Yeah. Trying to move past it, you know? What do you guys want for your wedding? Huh? What do we want for our wedding? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. You guys on thenot.com? Miles is buying.

Charlie forgot his wallet at home. I forgot my wallet at home. Yeah, so tell us the most expensive thing on your thenot.com. Oh, what is the most expensive thing on there? Go big. I don't even know. I didn't even, she set that all up. All I put on there was a y'all know what war hammer is.

Yeah, no, no. It's like a board game, but you build all your figurines on it. And so I got this like $200 figure on there. That's about the only thing I put on. That's hilarious. Jake's over here just shaking his head. Jake's like, I love super excited about this. Nice. Well, you got one fan here of your wedding gift. Well, when Charlie gets back to Milwaukee, he'll head to the knot.com and they'll get you that figurine. Yeah. You know what? Here's what I'm going to do. And I promise you I'll do this. Text us the link to your thing. If nobody else buys it for you, I'll get it for you. All right. All right. How much? not by. Oh, no, don't do that, dude. That's cheating. That's cheating.

Yeah. You want to end up like your father in law. All right. Don't cheat on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So set. But you guys send the link because I'll be. Jared, Jared will send it to me then. So all right. And look, someone already bought. Thank you, God.

Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Wow. Who do you think did that? Probably my friends who play with me. You should rephrase that. That's why I was thinking I didn't know how to say it. So thank you. Yeah. Oh, hey, we're sorry that your father-in-law fell in love with the Indian dude posing as an only fans girl That is a big business. So that is worth a significant portion of India's GDP. I'm not even kidding you

I read a friggin article on it, man This world's freaking crazy. It's all nuts Started going downhill with pong anyways all nuts. Started going downhill with pong anyways. Oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Well have a great time at your wedding. Thanks for calling in man and good luck. All right. You guys have a good day too. Thank you. All right. We'll see you soon. Bye bye. Yeah. Did you ever find out who was scamming the people pretending to be you? Dude, it's good. No, it wasn't a guy in India or no. Probably, man. Like it's a it's like when we have merch, we put up merch and then there's like

a thousand replica at this point. It's like it could be an A.I. agent, you know, an A.I. bot just doing it. It's anybody. There is a huge fucking there is a huge industry around this exact thing. And it's all I guarantee you, if Miles has scammed you out of money or photos, send us a picture or a sense of thing. Let's know. They send me the screenshots of these conversations. These guys are like they're like Roman. They're acting romantic to them. And question, are they good enough at cat fishing where they'll throw in a watch?

Oh, for dear cat fishing. They do some of that. They do some of that. Use your tagline. Yeah, they try to say they like try to bring in like, like my grandma, Sue, or someone like I publicly had in a video. They'll like drop their name, you know Like they've gotten more sophisticated. It's not just you know doing research, right? Well, I mean, you know you could type some into chat GPT. It can write the whole goddamn catfishing script for you

It's true. You know, it is true. So anyways, I we have a voicemail from Blake Charlie. Here we go Blake Hey there miles and Charlie. Hope you guys are doing good. Mine Blake here. We are in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Some people say Eau Cleezy, but I don't know why they do. I'm sitting here on the porch rummaging my mandolin next to my dog, the Berkey Berkey. You want to say hi? Okay. Calm down there, sir. Anyway. He says hi to you guys. He also says watch out for deer. He likes deer by the way, but yeah, let me play you a little tune here. Oh, okay. Hope you guys have a good one.

Damn. He kept going. That was almost their intro song. It was, we could probably just clip that and put it in. Just didn't do it. Okay. I was just starting to bob my head. Okay. Man, that guy's great. Wait, did he not want to do a call? No. I mean, cool. Good future episodes. Could you hit that guy up? I want to talk to this guy. I want to know where his actions from. Didn't he sound like he's from like down South for a little bit there? Yeah, I don't. And he seemed like a character in a movie. He did. Yeah. Yeah. I love how he does the dog noises for him. Do I couldn't tell I was just going to ask. Play that again. Is that real? Yeah, this deserves a second play.

Hey there, Miles and Charlie. Hope you guys are doing good. My name's Blake here. We are in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Some people say Eau Cleezy, but I don't know why they do. I'm sitting here on the porch rubbing my mandolin next to my dog Berkey Berkey you want to say hi anyway he says hi to you guys he also says

watch out for deer he likes deer by the way but yeah let me play you a little tune here okay hope you guys have a good one you know what let's can we clip that and make that the end of the episode okay have a good one let's do that his money have you guys have you ever seen like an opry like in oklahoma or in nashville they seen like an Opry like in Oklahoma or in Nashville? They have like an Opry kind of thing. He seems like a host for a show. Like, like even every word he talks, it sounds like a song. And he's always got his fingers in his belt loops. Yes. Yeah. That's a, that's a skill, man. Yeah. We got to talk to that guy. That's a great ending to the podcast. Just throwing that guy in there. Hell, yeah. Let's call it a day.

Yeah. Well, Miles, another good episode of the Belly to Podcast here at Sweet Shots. Might I say great episode. And I just want to remind the folks, tip your bartender. Absolutely. Tip your bartender. I don't have a wallet today, Miles. So I will tip the bartender.

All right. I'll pay you back. Oh, yeah. We'll see. All right. Have a good one, Miles, so I will tip the bar. All right, I'll pay you back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, see. All right. I have a good one, guys. See you next one. OK, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.