Bellied Up - Girlfriend Facetimes Too Much #118

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

In this episode, we're podcasting from the Oakes Bar and Grill at the Majestic Oaks Golf Club in Ham Lake, MN. The first caller lets us in on some secrets of the hotel front desk. The next caller rants about his girlfriend FaceTiming him too much. Another caller, who is on house arrest in Wisconsin, gets some ideas from us on how to pass the time. The last caller has a bad squirrel problem in Duluth, but we turn the negative into a positive by finding ways to make money from it. Don't have time to call in? Call our Voicemail line and tell us what's on your mind 👇 218-303-5095 Check out our Clips Page 👇 https://www.youtube.com/@BelliedUpClips?app=desktop Get Yourself a "Road Hunting for Ditch Chickens" hat 👇 https://ohhyoubetcha.com/products/ditch-chickens-hat Check out Charlie Berens Special "Midwest Goodbye" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wEzagimGjc Check out Myles' Podcast "You Betcha Radio" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQK1ATqc6L9wz4FAiun8kKw

Welcome back to another episode of the bellied up podcast. We are currently Charlie at the Oaks bar and grill at the majestic Oaks golf course. You got that all on one deal miles. We did it. We're getting thumbs up that we got it right. It's a mouthful, but we're here. I'm dialed in Charlie dialed in. I can tell you're dialed in miles on that right energy. We're at a golf course. You love golf, Charlie. Yeah. So the thing about that miles is I enjoy the game of golf for approximately three and a half holes. Yeah. I mean, that's fine. You just need to find yourself a three hole loop. I know we got one of those in Fargo. Do you next time? What to go play the three

hole loop. I don't love a three hole loop like that'd be a game-changer For me, I stress you out that they have 45 holes at this golf course. What? Yeah. Oh my god Two 18s and a Niner. Oh geez do people put what's the most number of holes you play a golf in a day? Lot of times people play 36 No, that's what ten times as many holes as you'd like to play. Yeah. Yep. I've caddied a 36 before I've done it. I've done a two to a double header, two bag quite literally to bag your bag for two rounds. Well, at two baggers where you're carrying two bags, have you done that? Double bagger? Yeah. I haven't done that. No, I got out of the game before I was big enough to do a double bagger. Thank God. Yeah. I think he got to

be at least like 15 to do a double bagger. Yeah. Um, they try doing them the younger, but they just tip over, you know? So you gotta be at least sturdy and then you're just dragging. You're not even carrying. Yeah. You're a dragon bagging. So, uh, Charlie, the summers, would you say summer's over? I'd say summer's over. I wouldn't, I wouldn't say summer ends when it ends on the calendar. Not when we go back to school. What is that in like a week? It's 25th. Yeah. Okay. Summer's almost over Charlie. Okay. Almost. Yes. Yes it is. What'd you learn this summer? I'm very curious to know what Charlie learned this summer. You know, miles I learned, thank you for asking. I learned that you can catch a musky on nothing but a bobber and a bear hook. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You did that. I, well,

I didn't, my cousin Tom did it, but he was, he was whipping this, this Bobber. First of all, I was doing work. Okay. I was working and he was not helping me. And he's like, you need any help back there? And I was like, no, but I said no in a way that I should need some work. Anyway, it doesn't help. Yeah, that's a side note. Kind of a passive aggressive like your dad would do.

You learned that one from your dad. Yeah, no, I got it. No, yeah, I don't need any help back here. Yeah, yeah, no, it's fine. Yeah, you know what I was doing? I was clearing the pine needles off the roof and in the gutters. I was like, yeah, no, I's fine. Yeah, I was doing I was clearing the pine needles off the roof and in the gutters. I was like, yeah, no, I can hold the ladder myself.

You know, that's exactly what I said. So I can catch myself if I fall off the roof. So I have super strong risks. It should be fine. So anyways, he's he's pulling. He's catching perch off the dock and he's whipping this bobber and hook through the weeds. And then all of a sudden he realizes he doesn't have bait anymore.

And so he's just pulling at it. He thinks he doesn't have bait, that doesn't exactly line up, whatever. He's pulling this rig through the deal and a musky just hit it and he caught himself. It's- And I bet he's never letting you hear the end of it. Oh, the whole weekend.

I mean, by the way, this is a great video. Guy who just caught a musky because he's just on the phone with everybody repeating the same facts. You know, yeah, I got it off a person. He talks to it gets even crazier and crazier. Oh, yeah, I didn't even have a barber by the end. You know, I mean, there is actually a video of me going to fetch this musky because he says Charlie It's a musky and I bolted, you know, cuz we didn't have nets down there. We weren't in ten kits

It was pan fish. So I had to run in the basement I had to grab a net and ran out there and I'll tell you when there's a musky on I run like a scared school Girl, I was just you know prancing out there and I got it. We got it in. Yeah. Ask me how many inches? How many inches? I've caught bigger walleye, but it was pretty cool.

But it was a fish. It was a musky, man. It was really cool. So that's what I learned this summer. Miles, what'd you learn this summer? I learned that I can have all the plans in the world and then you have a child and you don't have any plans at all.

Go out the window, so that... You are now on this miniature human schedule. Are you... I was driving to Minneapolis from Fargo yesterday. Usually what, a three hour, three hour 15 ride? Took us almost five and a half hours. Wow. Yep. What's because you stop and yeah, he starts feed on the road. Right. Yeah. It's frowned upon to be frowned upon the car seat. I, from what I understand. Plus he, like,

if he's crying, you know, you got to console them and all of that. And so it's feed them, put them in the car seat. Let's go as far as we can until he starts freaking out again. And what sucks is Anne went did the same trip the weekend before they only had to stop once and all the way through. And then I show up this, this weekend and all of a sudden he decides it's going to be funny to make a stop bunch of times. I think you're adding that, that mad dad energy into the thing. He can sense it and he knows he's just trying to twist. For cripes sake, would you quit crying back there? And he's like, he's just, he's, he's twisting on you. Huh? Yeah. A little bit. Well, I'm starting to, I, again, I'm only

what three months into this and I'm starting to understand my dad every day a little bit more and more because you multiply that car ride times like 300, you know? So do you have any tips now that you're kind of an expert or at least a novice for new dads out there about to approach their first long distance car ride with their child. Any quick tips? Uh, feed, uh, don't let feed them right before you leave and then just get in there and go as far as you can. I don't recommend speeding, but try and go as fast as you can. This is a ticking time bomb. Like have you ever seen the Gruber trying to decide it's like that, you know? So also having the wife sit in the back seat kind of like your chauffeuring. Oh yeah. Like you're, you know, if the, my kid loves just

spitting out the pass fire, I swear God, he's got a competition with himself. See how far he can spit it across the room. And so if you're going to have someone putting that back in and buy an extra 10, 15, 20 minutes in the car. So those are my two tips. Yeah. Grip and rip and have the, the old ball and Jane, the back seat, making sure he's happy. You know, you would think that they, with like all the advancements in technology, there'd be a Benki that kind of walks its way back into the mouth. They do make like things that like they're weighted, like a clip on things so that if it falls out, it doesn't like fall all over the place. But yeah.

And I think it's pretty frowned upon to just strap the pacifier to his head like a chin strap. I was just going to say. Yeah, I think that's what they call a ball gag. And I don't, I don't think that they recommend that in the child community. Yeah, definitely not. So I do not recommend that. That would be a funny product. You try pushing them the fort, the, the quatra strap. Thank you. Well, it just, you just like almost put a helmet on him. It looks like Aaron Rogers is one strap thing, but just goes over his mouth. And then it's like, all right, buddy, time to eat and you take it and then he strap it to the other side. He gets mad. It's just, I'm hungry. Well, that's great, man. Yeah.

I'm figured. I'm fine. It's fine. Yeah, it is fine. I'll talk to you after your drive home and see if it's still fine. Well, perfect. Hey, should we take some calls? Let's do it.

Let's do it. Welcome to the Belly It Up podcast. Who are we talking to and what would you like to get off your chest today? Hey, it's Nora and I work front desk at a hotel so I just wanted to like rant a little bit on the stupid things that people do. Okay well Charlie and I we go to a lot of hotels in our lifestyle so we may or may not have been an offender of some of these so throw it at us. What do you got?

When people come up to the desk and they're like, Hey, I'm here to check in and I'm like, okay, what's your last name? And they start like saying, like, I have a reservation here. Like, no, what's your last name? And they keep going back and forth. And then they're like, Oh, I have a confirmation number. I'm like, no, I asked your last name. And they just keep going back and forth. And then they're like, oh, I have a confirmation number. I'm like, no, I asked for your last name. And they just keep going back and forth with me. That's pretty annoying. So people will just show up, you'll ask for the last name and they refuse to give it to you. Are they afraid that you are like working for the government

and they're trying to stay off the grid or something? Well, why is that happening? I don't know. It's like people like refuse to show me their ID and then they get mad at me when I won't check them in. Which is very frustrating. I get in the face of people all the time about this. Those, I believe, are your traveling drug dealers.

I think I have a feeling. Do they ask if they can pay in cash as well? Yeah. Oh yeah, you get a few of those too. What's been the weirdest check in interaction you've ever had? There is. Okay. So I, one of my old pro like I've worked at a few different properties. One of the old ones we found out later that there was like a prostitution ring and the guy kept asking me like it's like the cops come to like check out the property a lot and we all thought that was like really weird me and my coworker

and he also showed us like a credit card that was not his name at all and like I didn't want to check him in but he was at with like my credit card that was not his name at all. And like, I didn't want to check him in, but he was with like my colleague and she was newer. So she checked him in, but he was like very buggy the whole time. And then like long story short, he ended up, what? He ended up like going to the market, took like five different drinks and everything.

And he like opened up three of them, drank out of them and then put them back in the market. And then went to the classic. And my colleague checked. Thank you. Yeah. That's just what we call. That's just what we call Charlie sampling. He just wanted to taste. And then he decided, didn't want it. You can't fully commit to a Powerade. Yeah exactly. You gotta have a little, you know you guys should really have, you know when you go to a bar and it's like micro brews and it's like would you like a sampler of that?

You guys should have that with the Powerade thing. Something to consider. Something to consider. You might be on to something. What other rants you got? What else you got on your list? Oh, people don't understand incidental fees. Like security holds at hotels. They'll come up to the desk and they're like, so I booked a room for this amount and like, I know it's

taxed. It's going to be like another $20 or so. Like you guys overcharge because my, the hotel I can only work at incidental fees like $50 or so. Like you guys overcharge, because the hotel I currently work at, the incidental fee is like $50 a night. They're like, you overcharge me $100. And I try to explain them like, it's just a hold. It'll go back after. And then they like start by always ask for a manager and all of that. And that's just like another thing that like bugs the heck out of me.

Oh, when they ask for a manager is that it like, you don't like that. They're like immediately going over you just cause you have to put the mandatory hotel hold on. Just like the fact that people, like they're using us with like doing their money, I guess in a way they don't understand what the incidental going back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. They just don't understand it. And they feel like you guys are overcharging us. And then they'll go and like write a review that like we, the hotel like overcharge them and then they'll call that like, even if they like finally understand what it is, they'll

call back the next day after checkout and be like, did the money come back to my account? Like you guys took it. And like, it it's very frustrating. You know, I do kind of relate with them a little bit. Like, why can't you guys just charge it if we take something? You know, what are you doing with that money? You already have. Yeah, you already have the credit card info. You can charge it later. Well, I think that what the Hose of Tells are doing are holding this $50 miles.

And it's like a kind of a not a pyramid scheme, but but like a ramp scheme because everybody's putting it down $50 hold. They invest it. And over time they're making so much more money on these $50 holes. Cause at any given time they may have $10,000 of just incidentals over the weekend depending on how many rooms they got. And they're just putting that in the market. Yes. They're playing with other people's money. You know, that's that's my beef with that. The nice thing about this is we're on opposite ends of the hotel desk. Every rant you got, we probably got an equally opposite rant. Yeah, we can go tip for tat. Yeah, I totally understand. But that intonation money is going towards my bar tab.

We got it wrong. I got to pay for my drink somehow, you know? That's actually not a bad scheme. Yeah, that's perfect. All right. What else you got on that list? Oh, so I work at a hotel about an hour away from Newark airport, LaGuardia in Philadelphia., I'm like kind of like in the middle. And people are like, this isn't like really super frustrating. But like, we have a website and people will call and be like, so do you guys have a shuttle to and

from the airport? And we're clearly not an airport hotel. It just gets like really annoying. Can I ask you an unrelated question? What are you guys typing when we first give you our ID? Like you guys typed for a long time. Are you guys writing notes about like this guy, you know, clearly hasn't slept in three days. Yeah. Might have to keep an eye on him.

He may be stealing stuff from the market. Like are you guys writing notes for the cops or something? Yeah. I mean, we do have a track. If you're a part of loyalty programs, there is a way for all of us to track you and report your activity to other hotels. What the? What? Come on. I'm part of two loyalty programs. What hotel do you work at?

Yeah. So I, we can keep track on you guys. What do you see? Like you guys know when I'm taking a crap? Like, you know, if I'm on the toilet or no? We keep that very down low. No. But we know like when you guys like do like any complaints people make. We know when people destroy rooms, we know what people typically try to impress the guests. Other hotels will report what people typically like, allergies, stuff like that. We have a whole rundown on the guests.

So how do we game that system? Like, how do how do people with that? Like, what what can we say to get better rooms? Do we say like, can you do an upgrade and then you write in your thing? This guy likes upgrades, give him an upgrade. Is that how that works? I mean, it can work like that, but typically I don't upgrade people who always ask for upgrades.

Who do you upgrade people who always ask for up friends. Who do you upgrade? People who are very nice and very like nonchalant about like their status or like if they are just like talking, if I ask them, Oh, spring juice to the, like the area and they're like, how we're celebrating like an anniversary or birthday. I always try to upgrade those people. So the best way to get a hotel upgrade, Charlie is act like you don't want a hotel upgrade. Yeah. Just kind of walk up and just be like hands in your pocket. Maybe doing a little bit of whistling. Just like, yeah, I'd love to check in. Um, I mean, like if you got a

real sure I'll take one. It's kind of whatever. I'm here celebrate my anniversary and birthday today and uh, no big deal, deal you know happy birthday to me exactly I'd ask nonchalant you know okay maybe flirt with the front desk guy a little bit you know mm-hmm I like it well we appreciate you calling in today I'm glad you're able to get that off your chest we'll try we'll try to take what you said and maybe you take a little bit of our advice. Miles, can I ask one more question before we let her go? Absolutely. I just real quick want to ask you, when you guys say you're not doing the sheets every

day for environmental reasons, is that true or do you guys just not want to do the sheets every day? Which by the way, I respect both answers. If I told you that, I would have to kill you. Okay. Wow. I'm just kidding. No. It's just like linen services. We don't want to do that every day. It's expensive.

Correct. Saving money. Yeah. Why do you wrap the plastic cups in plastic? Why do you wrap the cups in plastic? Like our brains are 5%... How do you get that cups in plastic? Like our brains are five percent You've been trying to get that answer for a while Yeah Yeah, it's like we're trying to save the environment so we're not doing linens But we'll just wrap everything in plastic and then throw it away in the garbage that ends up in the ocean and then ends up

In our brains our brains have like the highest concentration of up in the ocean and then ends up in our brains our brains have Like the highest concentration of plastic in our whole body all the human brains our balls have plastic in them And it's largely because hotels are wrapping plastic cups and plastic don't speak for my balls Oh your balls have plastic dude every ball on this planet has plastic in it. Look it up guys anyways This is this has been really wonderful. It's nice to get the exchange on the other end of the hotel deal since most of us are just walking up to you.

So. Yeah, thanks for coming in today. Thanks for taking your time out of your day to talk to me. And I hope you guys have a great time listening to people's rants. Thank you very much. Yours was wonderful. We'll see you soon.

Well, Charlie, I'm glad that we were able to uncover the conspiracy and get a real answer. It's not they're not they're not servicing your room every other day for environmental reason. Oh, hell no. But I love that they bought the plaque put on your deal. You know, all the money they saved in not doing the sheets, they bought those plaques. So, you know money It's just energy miles. It's just energy sure Tirely sure that means but look at another caller. Look it up. Hi, this is Nick Nick. How you doing my guy?

What's on your mind? What's your rant? Let us hear it What's your rant? Let us hear it So it's like I got this girlfriend right and For some reason she likes to face time me like every minute And it's just like I don't want I don't listen to like Your your Duncan order that got messed up. I don't care about that. You know what I mean? I think that you are every man with a significant other. That's a rant I think we all have. I will say the technology, man, it's a different level.

It used to be a phone call, text, you know, kind of got a break from the phone call for a while. But then the FaceTime, if she's FaceTime in you that much, I don't think she trusts you a whole lot personally, but that's a whole other situation. Cause my wife does the same thing. She'll just text me. She doesn't FaceTime me. Thank God. And condolences to Nick here. But she'll just text me and be like, Oh, I had a, I had a bagel for breakfast. Really? And then she'll be like, Oh, uh, you know, I'm watching TV or I ran an errand to the gas

station and then it's just boom, boom, boom. And I don't even have to respond. They just keep coming in. Oh, so she's one of them one line texters. Oh yeah. There are people who texting like just one lines and then people who like do a whole paragraph, you know. And Nick, what's so wrong with her FaceTimeing you every other minute? It's like I'm like commute to work. I drive far from work. It's about like an hour, you know. So it's like when I, I'm exhausted, I'm working outside all day and I get in the car, I just want to listen to my podcast, listen to my music. But no, as soon as she knows I'm in the car, bang, I got a call and it's like, I'm just sitting there and it just makes me more tired.

I'm on drive back. I'm sitting in traffic, that's making me tired. Now I'm listening to her and it's like, well, now I'm about to fall asleep. That's the last words, too much. I think we've that's the last word. Take too much. I think we've uncovered maybe the deeper issue issue here, my guy. I think you might be in the wrong relationship. What do you think about that? I've thought about it. It's like issue. He's like, honestly, I would ask you to marry me, but you just call me way too much and it makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

If your girlfriend is constantly... Very much. I'm definitely waiting. You're definitely... Well, if she's constantly putting your life in danger by putting you to sleep while driving, I feel like you could just not answer. What would happen if you just didn't answer? just not answer. What would happen if you just didn't answer? Yeah, well, then she'd text me, and then I'd rather call than text.

I don't like being on my phone. But sometimes I'll be like, hey, my mom's calling me real quick, and I'll call you back, and I hang up, listen to songs for about 10, 15 minutes, and then muster up enough energy to call her back and then I'll call her back. He's like having to do, he's like listening

to like motivational speeches just to stay awake and like work up the courage to call her back. You're like, you got this. Did she, when she calls, like, did she ever say anything of interest to you? No, never. No, not one thing. No. So give us like a list of like, what are the, what are the main five things she's calling you about? What does she, what does she dumping on you at the end of your work day? So I've said the main thing is how like her day went.

She's a teacher. So she'll say, Oh my god, you'll never believe like what happened in the classroom. This this kid did this. And I said this. And then he left. Oh, okay. And then it's like, Oh, well, this teacher said this about me. Like, I'm so excited. Oh, good job. And she's like, Yeah, but like, blah, blah, blah. And like going to like gossip with you. And I'm like, Oh, okay. And then she'll say like how her Duncan order was messed up again. And then it's just like the repetitive kind of thing. And then just puts me to sleep. Well, what you need to start doing, what you should start doing is just getting ahead of it.

Be it. Do you answer a phone? You just go, wow, I can't believe that student did that today. I can't believe that teacher said that about you. God, Duncan sucks because they get your order wrong. All right, honey. Well, I'll see you when I get home. Bye. Just get ahead of everything. Yeah. I've tried it one time and how did that go? It didn't go well. She thought that I wasn't listening to her or give her a chance to yapp. And I just told her that I already know what you're going to say. I was like, did I say everything that you're going to say? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, there you go. I got ahead of it.

I think there's really two issues here. There's one issue of FaceTiming when you don't want to be FaceTiming. But then also I feel like you got some kinks to work out in this relationship. Are you guys good when you're in person or no? Well, yeah, when we're in person, we're good. We joke around together. We have a good time. And she's always on the TikTok thing. And it's like, sometimes I just take her phone and shut it off on her. But other than that, yeah, pretty good in person. Yeah. Other than stealing her property and making her do something else, things are going well in the relationship. Um, I was on this. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever been on a FaceTime call where she's like cooking or something and she puts the phone down and the phone is just facing the ceiling. So you just talk into a ceiling for 10 minutes.

That usually happens when she's in the bathroom. She doesn't cook, which that's also another issue. I got to train her on, but train her on. Oh my God. I don't think that's the right mentality. Are you close to your girlfriend right now? No, no, no. She's I meant to get a haircut and she's off running errands. The way you said, no, no, no. Sounds like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's in the next room, but you don't want that to happen. So, okay. Here's a question. You, you called into our podcast today. You seem like you got a lot of energy going on. What's the difference between talking to us on the phone and talking to her on the phone? You guys are more enjoyable to talk to. It's like I talk to her every day. I don't know. You guys are my first time speaking to you guys. I

don't know. Well, then why don't every time you just imagine that you're talking to Charlie and I, yeah, just don't carry that over to other aspects of your relationship. Yeah. Otherwise, otherwise you might not be able to perform if you know what I mean. Or maybe you would perform better. I don't know. I don't want to judge. I mean, I could try it on. Let you guys know next time. Um, but she just doesn't bring the same energy as you guys. She's more monotone. Oh, so she that's the

so it goes like this. Hi. Yeah. Work today was kind of crazy. I this one kid, Billy Dillon, Dillon threw spitballs at the wall again. This doesn't sound like that. Exactly like that. I'm like, oh, what did you do?

I don't know, I might be a little bit on your side cause that was boring. I mean, I'm guessing the listeners that are listening, they tuned out, they probably shut the podcast off when I started doing that. Yeah, I'm trying to think of an actual solution to help you, you know? And I know you were just calling into rant.

Have you ever thought about breaking your forward-facing camera on your phone? Just like a little like chisel and a hammer real quick. And then you're done with FaceTime calls just like that. That's just, I thought you were gonna go a different route and just break up with her. You were too. I thought you were gonna say break up with her.

I mean, you could do that, but you know, if you're still gonna, yeah, actually that's a better idea right there You save yourself the phone. That's perfect Or you could break my phone the money Yeah, I could break her phone. No, don't do that. That's not just break up with her Yeah, yeah, I mean do you think this relationship's gonna work it's sounding like a disaster to me Yeah, I mean do you think this relationship's gonna work it's sounding like a disaster to me Yeah, smart maybe you just find someone you want to facetime with and then start there Yeah, that's what life's about Charlie Charlie. Find someone that you're happy to face time with.

Exactly. Yeah. Well, we and one of them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in my guy. Yeah. Well, thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. Yeah. And good luck with your gal and thank you for sharing the rant. I get it.

It's mine. I don't get face time, but and will text me a lot sharing the rant. I get it. It's mine. I don't get FaceTime, but Ann will text me a lot during the day. And I'll be in meetings or shooting a video or something. And then I open my phone and I got 36 unread messages. And you think something's wrong. But no, it's just a journal. It's just like it's a ledger of what she did throughout the day. And if that makes her happy that makes her happy Charlie

Does she get mad if you don't text her back at first, but then she realized that this is my life now So yeah, you know what that would have been good advice for that guy He's setting the wrong precedent by opening up the FaceTime. Yeah, I should have just never answered Yeah, cuz then then she'll find out if she needs that FaceTime, you know, the truth will set you free Yeah, so anyway, should we take another caller? Let's do it. Hey, are you getting hurt? That's bad. But deal with all that paperwork, insurance nonsense. I paperwork crying out loud.

I absolutely hate paperwork. I mean, I think I'd rather get thrown in the Fargo movie Woodchipper than do paperwork. Really? Well, I'd rather do paperwork than that, Miles. get thrown in the Fargo movie Wood Chipper than do paperwork. Really? Well, I'd rather do paperwork than that, Miles, but still not preferred. Anyways, that's where Nikolay- But if you do get thrown in a wood chipper,

call Nikolay Law. Yeah, hey, you're pretty injured, so you are gonna wanna give them a buzz, okay? Making sure those insurance companies don't try to pull a fast one on you and say, that's how the wood chipper was supposed to work. No, if you're injured, just get Nikolay. They've got offices all over the Midwest, North Dakota, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, you name it, and here's the best part.

If they don't win, you don't pay. How's that for Midwest fare? I agree. Give them a call. Need help after an injury call Nicolay law one eight five five Nicolay or visit Nicolay law.com. They'll take on the stress. So you don't have to. I love myself. An ice cold glass of tippy cow. And that's what we got here today. My question to you Charlie is is what is your favorite flavor between the vanilla the mint the chocolate the orange cream. What's your favorite Charlie miles. I'm going to throw a little curve ball

here I like to mix them. Okay. I like going the chocolate and I like going the mint kind of a grasshopper feel a bit of a grasshopper tastes like St. Patty's day, you know, St. Patty's day every day. That's what I like. That's what I look about tippy cow though. Whatever you like, whatever your pizzazz, you can figure it out. You know, yeah. My, how about yours? My favorite is the one I'm drinking right now. The vanilla soft serve. It just tastes like I am drinking ice cream in a glass Plus you get a little bit. It makes you feel real good

Sometimes when I eat ice cream regular ice cream, I don't feel so good afterwards But I never have that sensation with the vanilla soft serve tippy cow So guys if you'd love to have a delicious creamy treat in your glass and feel good You got to get yourself tippy cow. Tip it on back Charlie. Tip it on back. Tip it on back. Cheers. Cheers. Hey this is Aaron.

Aaron nice to meet you. What do you want to get off your chest today? Yeah, well I would love to belly up to the bar but I can't I'm a house arrest. Sorry, sorry, not what do you want to get off your chest today? What do you want to belly up to the bar, but I can't, I'm a house arrest. Sorry, not what do you want to get off your chest today? What do you want to get off your ankle today? I love to get this damn thing off my ankle, but according to the court, the camps. Yeah. What does it itch? I've always been wanting to ask someone with an ankle bracelet. Is it itchy or is it, you just get used to it after a while? Kind of like we're in a wedding ring.

Well, that the one that you use to clean your dishes with just use that and get right under it. OK, perfect. Hey, do you think when we're done with this call, can you try taking that thing off with WD 40? Because I got to know if that's another use for that beautiful substance. I could try but the cops will show up and then little bad things will happen. Just put on your dog. All right well we gotta ask what did you do? What did you do? Yeah it was the DUI second offense.

Oh what where do you live? Do you guys not have Uber there? What's what's what's going on? Let's let's get you ready. I'm from I'm from I'm from Stoughton, Wisconsin. Oh, geez. Yeah, Wisconsin has some pretty lax drinking and driving laws. Not the best thing. Do you not have a bike? I do. But I'd wipe out on that and get a third one. So why would I do that? Well, you only hurt yourself if you're on a bike, you know, or the squirrel you might hit. It's better than getting in a motorized vehicle. Yeah. Yeah. You're limited to how fast you can bike drunk. That's my next question is, have you learned

your lesson is not being able to leave your house, been enough of a lesson for you or what? Where are you at mentally? Well, um, yeah, I think I did my first, my first offense, I was kind of younger, so didn't have the maturity, uh, this time around. Uh, yeah, it's things you have to do actual jail time and, uh, you know, so that's not fun, but my my job doesn't care so I can still go to work what is jail like um not fun not clean yeah the maids are not very nice you mean the prison guards yeah the prison guards is that if is that what it's called in prison you just call the prison guards. Is that if is that what it's called in prison? You just call the prison guards maids? Pretty much.

Yeah. How many days you got to be in jail? My. So I'm actually I don't I don't have to sit in real jail, but I have to do three months on house arrest. So I don't actually have to go to real jail. Wait. So did you go to real jail?

No, no. So I don't actually have to go to real jail. Wait, so did you go to real jail? No, no, cause when I got arrested, they let my mom pick me up at the station. Someone doesn't have a jail. We just have a building. Got it. And so they let my mom come pick me up. So you went to jail light.

Like if it was a beer, it would be called jail light. Not jail genuine draft. Yeah, jail light here. Yeah. Yeah, no, no, it was not not goodness. No, it wasn't dark. What? And your mom picked you up from jail. What did she have to say for it to you? She wasn't happy, but she wasn't, uh, she wasn't surprised either. I guess. How many do you eyes does your mom have? Um, zero. Okay. She should have like eight of them, but.

Oh, geez. Folks. Well, hey, back in the 80s, they didn't fucking do anything. You could just get into UI and they'd say, hey, get in the back, we'll give you a ride home. Yeah, back when Charlie was around, you know. Was that an old joke?

Yeah, I think so, yeah. Yeah, because you're fucking old, that's why. God, you know, I feel like you're. Yeah. Cause you're fucking old. That's why God, you know, I feel like you're getting aggressive now that you're not drinking. Geez. Are you drinking? Hey, I'm fucking home. Of course I'm aggressive. Okay. Let it out, man. What else is going on? What do you hate about staying at home? This is the most, this is the most social interaction I get. So I'm glad you guys actually answered the phone. I knew I was going to do what I am kind of happy about. Go ahead. Go ahead. Keep going. What else are you mad about? Well, that's

my question. So of course, of course the, the advice that I've gotten is, Hey, there's Netflix. You can watch Netflix all day. Hey, you can, you know, do housework, all that crap. I want some creative advice from miles. You bet your guy in Charlotte Barron. What could I do to occupy three months? I mean, on the Netflix show, you could watch orange is the new black. Yeah, I could. Shawshank redemption is on there too. Yeah. There's also a what's the one called there? They're in prison and they break out of it. What is it called? Prison prison break. Yeah. You can watch that show. That's a good one. Also, have you ever

watched the movie Disturbia with Shia LaBeouf? Yes. Yes. That's the what, when I got arrested, that was the first thing I thought of is, Oh, I want to be like Shia LaBeouf. No. Yes. So are you creeping on your neighbors or no? Yeah, I think he's a killer. I got my binoculars and my fucking telescope ready. Oh, you got a creepy guy. Hey, you just hit two creative things you can start doing. Birdwatching and by the way, this week and stargazing, we now need to restart the counter for a number of podcasts Charlie has gone without mentioning birdwatching

So creative ideas. What do you have you have you sorted out all the junk drawers in the house? Well, it's Wisconsin Charlie and also it's my grandparents house that I own now So there's drawers that I even know existed have shit in them. Have you found anything? I'm working on it. Have you found anything a little weird that they left behind? Yeah, I found Corbelle bottles that have that were from like the Bush administration. So that's kind of weird.

Does it taste the same? My grandma likes Corbelle a lot. I didn't taste them, Charlie. Yeah. And I'm going to go on the limb and say maybe just stay away from the Corbelle bottles for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, probably should. Have you quit drinking now that it's gotten you into trouble twice?

Well, yes and no. I mean, I'm not drinking now because I have to blow in a little machine every now and then. But before I got house arrest, yeah, I just started walking down the bar, you know, and, you know, it's all good. You just can't drive a car. Yeah. I mean, why don't you just sell your car?

Then you like just eliminate that possibility altogether. Zero temptation. Well, I still got to drive to work. I got to drive to Madison for work. Take the train. They make a machine for that. You got to drive to Madison for work. Take the train. They make a machine for that. You got a machine that you blow into your truck and you can drive your truck as long as you blow a test. So right now, in order to drive, when you get off to house arrest, you have to blow into your car.

What machine do you have to blow into now? I just want to give people sort of an idea of what it's like if you get caught drinking and driving, what you gotta do with. Yeah, it's called a tram. So basically it's a device that's plugged into my house and it's all like Wi-Fi connected to the Dane County jail. And it goes off and there's a little camera on it. So you blow, it shines a light,

takes a picture of your face and you just blow for three seconds. And then as long as you're sober it just says goodbye And then it goes off before I go to work after I go to work and then two more times in the afternoon I mean, that's kind of sweet actually. Yeah. Well, it's kind of slick So you are not drinking you've been sober ever since you went on house arrest. Yeah, what's it like being sober? It's not so much and I'm watching the Alabama Wisconsin game Which is a complete fucking blowout and I'm sober and I hate it. I had a feeling that was gonna happen

Yeah, I'm trying to watch it. We're filming in Minnesota. I can't see that game, but what's the score? 42 10. Well, Charlie's going to start Minnesota North of Minneapolis in Ham Lake, Minnesota. Why don't you come on? Yeah. Why don't you head on over to the bar? Yeah. Yeah. Well, like Charlie said, I guess I put put it on my dog, you know, you don't leave out. So you get, you're on house arrest. What are the things they let you out of the house for work? Can you go like get groceries and stuff or what do they let you out of the house for? Yeah. You get two hours a week for grocery shopping

and then any appointments. So like docs, claim, um, auto appointments. If I got to get my truck fixed, I can leave the house for that. Hey, there you go. Doctors appointments who start making like three chiropractor appointments a week. Ah, that doesn't count. No, if I, it's not real doctor appointment. Sorry. Chiropractors. I was, I was gonna actually, I was thinking about joining a Catholic church because you know, I could go to church every week. They can't, they can't discriminate against that. Right. Could you imagine that looks that he's going to get at church showing up with an ankle brace that you're going to want to wear pants to church. Otherwise you're going to be getting some dirty look church pants out that I haven't worn in 10 years. Yep. He starts

joining all the religions, you know, this is how he finds God. I got a, I got a lot to get off my chest. You have a minute or maybe you got a lot to get off your ankle. That's what yeah. Yeah. I got, I got the stuff to get off my ankle. Hey, can I have some of that? Uh, union wine wine, please. Oh, well, be careful. You're going to have to take a long walk home before you blow in that machine in your house. Well that's okay. Do they, I forgot, Miles asked this before.

Do they not have Ubers over by you? No, they do, they do actually. I just, I was a moron. I didn't use it. I was also really hammered. So I just, Oh, so you knew you were drunk and you just did it anyway. Or were you so drunk you didn't know what you're doing? A little bit of both.

Yeah. Yeah. A bit of both. A lot of callousness on my part. Yeah. And I, you know, I, now that you know, all this happened, I understand and I think that I won't do it again, but all right. Yeah. Well, we're going to hold you to that. We're going to call you and sick. When do you get off a house arrest? December 29th, right before new year. God, that's terrible. Why is Christmas at your house this year? They should have done it January. Yeah. Oh,

my mom made that a point. She already bought over that fake Christmas tree and, uh, the, and the Turkey. So Thanksgiving, Christmas at my house. So yeah, you guys, why don't you guys belly up to my Thanksgiving table? No turkeys on me. Just, just leave your, leave your, uh, leave your alcohol at the door or actually at the street. Cause it can't be in the property. Oh, what a fun Thanksgiving. No alcohol. Yeah. Awesome. So did you? Yeah, right. Yeah. My family's gonna hate me. So you can't have any alcohol in your house. You have to get rid of all those old Corbels. Yeah. I had to get rid of all that. I had to get rid of my hunting gun. I can't go hunting this year. I love, I

love how he said that he found those bottles, but in reality it was just a police officer that found all of the bottles. Do they search your deal? He wasn't, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. They go through the house. He found, he found a, well, there was a, there was a Bush light can in the garbage and he goes, am I going to find any more of these? And I said, no, my drink them all last week. You won't find any more. So, yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in today. I know that you want to talk to us for longer because you're sitting at home by yourself, but we got some more callers we got to get to fucking stir crazy. There's only so many stories I can tell my goddamn cat. Okay.

Before even he walks away, we'll send you a bellied up laser pointer for both of you to enjoy the next three months, but we're glad you learned your lesson. That'll actually go a long way. All right. We're glad you learned your lesson. Stay off the roads while you're drinking and watch for deer. Yep. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. All right. We'll see you. Good to talk to you, Miles. Awesome. Thanks for taking the call. Yep. Absolutely. All right. We'll see you. Good to talk to you. My awesome. Thanks. Take the call. Yep. Absolutely. All right. Bye. Bye folks.

This is a great time. We now have an example of what happens if you drink and drive. Don't do it. You don't need to. There's all sorts of other options out there. Don't end up like him. you can do uber you can walk walking is probably the best choice you know it's negative 20 out yeah an uber get a friend call your mom his mom picked him up from jail why didn't his mom just give him a ride home from the bar you know if you get a little too drunk at the bar you call your mom it's kind of cute she gets a little upset highlight of her week she loves she can talk to you call your mom, it's kind of cute. She gets a little upset. It's the highlight of her week, Charlie.

She can talk to you about your relationship, what your plans are with that gal. And instead, if she's picking you up from the slammer, well, that's a whole other conversation, and you better be prepared to make Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. And thankfully, it didn't hurt anybody. So anyways, there's the PSA.

All right, should we take another caller? Let's do it. Hey, I'm Jorge, and we currently have a squirrel problem. Okay. You got squirrel problems, I feel bad for you son. You got 99 problems and a nut ain't one. See what I did there, Jorge. Tell us about your squirrels, my guy.

What's up? All my girlfriends actually talk about it. Yeah, so I live in a rental house. Yeah, I know, he's putting me on the spot here anyway. But live in a rental house in a little city called Duluth, Minnesota. And they have really infiltrated our entire backyard, our house, everything. They sit on our roofs. And I don't know if you've ever heard of a squirrel chirp before,

but they basically are just like screaming. It's so great. But the biggest problem is with our, with our trash. So they have chewed a hole into our trash can and they basically live in there now. And so whenever you take the trash out, you have to kick the bin a couple of times to like make sure they're not in there anymore. It's really bad. So, um. Do you, do you have names for them? Okay. Well there's this one. Okay. It's not very creative, but he's huge. So we just call him fatty. He's the one that lives in the garbage can. Yeah. Yeah. He's like mooching off of our trash. Yeah.

So it's bad. Sometimes we'll like go out to take our trash out and if you forget to kick the bin and like you open it up, they'll jump at you. Well, yeah, I mean, they are. I've had rats. One time I was cleaning my garage and this one, the squirrel, but I was opening a gun case because I have fishing poles in the gun case and there was a rat that had built a nest in there

and it jumped at me and that is scary. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, they're ferocious. Are your squirrels in the house? No, but they've come close a couple of times. So since we're like live so far up north in Minnesota, they don't have AC in any of the houses. So we keep our windows open and they use the screens to like climb up

and they like have put a few little holes in the screens. And we're scared that one day we're going to walk into our house and just like see some furry friends in our living room. Oh yeah. They've been casing that place. I'll tell you that much. And these squirrels, when it comes to food, when it comes to food, they mean business. I was golfing this one time and I had nuts in my bag

and I went up to putt, I came back, a squirrel was chewing through my bag to get to the nuts. They are, they are. Now, if you want a solution to this, I got two things to say. BB Gun and Scope, have you ever eaten squirrel? I have not, but it sounds like I might have to start. It's delicious, yeah.

You put a stick on it and kind of do it rotisserie style. Oh, you're doing rotisserie style. I thought maybe you're gonna do like a stew of some sort. Well, you could do a stew. There are a lot of different, Jared, can we pull up some squirrel recipes to give them? Um, and this is a very eco-friendly way to eat, you know? It's a well populated species. Sounds like some of them have been fatted.

You could have with that fatty, you could have- They're basically corn fed squirrels. Yeah, exactly. I mean, this could be a delicacy. You guys are missing an opportunity. If you could have the first squirrel food truck in Duluth, I think you guys might murder it. Endless supply.

Quite literally, they're murdering things. I think we could. Team up like an extermination. Yeah, there we go. We take them out with the exterminator, take them out. We also have a food dehydrator so we can serve them different ways. Yeah, maybe a squirrel jerky. Squirrel jerky.

Yeah. I like the idea of Tissy squirrel, rotisserie squirrel. You just sprinkle a little Lowry's on there and it's gonna be... It is good. Especially if they're well fed with your trash, you guys. Charlie, what would be a good name for their their rotisserie squirrel food truck? Squirt Squirtissery.

That could have a couple meanings, though. Yeah. You nuts and more. Wait, what did you say? That's what you are. You got it. We also felt like caramelized nuts. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, the desserts. Candy nuts. So this is what I'm thinking for a whole business plan here, is that we can like use the squirrels

in two ways. Obviously, like we have them for food that we sell at our food truck, but since they like collect the nuts for them, we can make little worker hats. And then so they work for us as well. Free labor. This is perfect. Nike's been taking advantage of that for a long time. It's a great business plan. Well, then you gotta get the juvenile squirrels working.

Check to make sure I'm not wearing anything, Nike. I mean, there's enough to go around. We can start. Oh, there's a nut to go around. Is that what you just said? That's a great name for the trick. That is there's a nut to go around. Oh, man. Now, Peter is going to be pissed about this, but I also think I don't think we're exactly the most Peter friendly podcast.

Charlie, you're talking about catching a muskie earlier. That's true. I think that ship is sailed. I'm not too worried about PETA. Since it's sailed, think about the athleisure wear you can make with all those squirrel pouts. You know, I mean, if the new comfies are, like you get some sweats made out of just squirrel tail,

squirrel tail sweats? Are you kidding me right now? I mean, think about yeah, I had sure. Yeah. And what's like winter coming up? We can start making slippers. Yes. Oh, squirrel tail slippers. See, when life gives you squirrels, make squirrel tail slippers. Well, and we also were at a golf course, Charlie. You just make the squirrel skins into head covers for your hybrids. There you go. Oh, you just open up the back end and on.

There's a flex. This guy has covers on his hybrids. OK, I see how it is. A whole franchise working out for now. Yeah. Yeah. It is really about supply and demand. You got the supply and I know that there's a huge demand for a squirrel food truck and Clothing wear out there. Yeah, I want you guys Yeah, there you go, there you go, so Go make that hole bigger

So the squirrels have easier access to your garbage can and start throwing the good stuff in there. No, in reality, you could just put a squirrel feeder next to the garbage can and then you just don't even have to deal with them in the garbage can. Oh yeah, I mean there are easy solutions for that garbage can. You know, you just get a nail gun, get some mesh and just, and then you're gonna have that garbage

stuck in the bottom because it's caught in the nail. But anyways, anyways. Well, I think I'll help you guys. Yeah. Anytime we're here to help you guys take care and tell the squirrels. We says bye. All right. I'm good. Wait, where are you guys at today?

Oh, we are in Minnesota, Lake Minnesota. So a couple hours from Duluth. Oh, nice, don't you know? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, you betcha. Pretty good up here. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I betcha at the lake. Oh yeah, well, tell your folks who says hi. Okay then, sure.

Watch out for deer, go pack. Watch out for squirrels too. Watch out for squirrels. Oh, wait a minute there. Might have to run it back a little bit with that last part. Yeah you run it back. Let us know how that rotisserie tastes okay. Yeah come stop by the truck. Oh we'll be there. We'll be there. Midwest goodbye with the squirrel edition. All right we'll see you guys soon then. Real good. All right.

I assume then real good. I love it. I actually, you know, you're seeing all sorts of crazy food trucks popping up, Charlie. I mean, seriously. I haven't seen a squirrel one pop. We're always looking for alternative, eco-friendly food sources. Population control solutions.

Yeah, and I think that's, I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't know why you can't commercially sell squirrel yet. You can't? I don't know. I don't know why no one's done it. Have you ever eaten squirrel mouths? I don't think so. Have you? Yeah not often but few occasions. I live where we don't have a lot of trees so there's not as many squirrels as there is around where you're at. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, that's true. You guys have those. Remember when we saw that horse horseshoe?

The snowshoe, snowshoe hair. First one I had seen. Super cool. There's one that just lives on our patio in the winter because there's a big mound and it kind of burrows itself in there. Now, those those I wouldn't say shoot them. No. And there's one that died underneath our evergreen tree. Oh, that's sad. Just stuff it. But that tree now is growing like a weed. It is a looking tree in the lawn. So, you know, I like to think about it, the circle of life.

It is a circle of life. Bunny had to die so that my tree could flourish. And I got to tell you this, folks, any of you gardeners out there, this is a tag on Miles's deal. My grandpa Bob used to catch fish, clean the fish, bury the fish guts and he had the biggest pumpkins I ever did see. So, you know, one man's one fish's carcass is another man's big pumpkin. So there you go. Well, is that it Charlie? That's all she wrote miles.

Thanks for tuning in guys to another episode of the belly.podcast. And as always, Charlie, tip your bartender. We'll see you next one. Love you guys.