Bellied Up - How NOT To Pick Up Women #123

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

First caller has a roommate that has a restraining order on a gal he wants to date, Next caller has a notebook of questions for us from her dog all the way to the meaning of life, Last caller is having trouble finding a date. Don't have time to call in? Call our Voicemail line and tell us what's on your mind 👇 218-303-5095 Check out our Clips Page 👇 https://www.youtube.com/@BelliedUpClips?app=desktop Get Yourself a "Road Hunting for Ditch Chickens" hat and other merch here 👇 https://ohhyoubetcha.com/products/ditch-chickens-hat Check out Charlie Berens Special "Midwest Goodbye" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wEzagimGjc Check out Myles' Podcast "You Betcha Radio" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQK1ATqc6L9wz4FAiun8kKw

Guys, we got big news in the bellied up world. We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you that stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases

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Boop, boop, ch, boop, boop, ch, boop, boop, boop, boop, ch, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Don't. OK. No. I can give you a dead leg right now. Don't. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Are we rolling? Yeah. Oh, hey, folks. Sorry. Can give you a dead leg right now

We rolling oh, hey folks, sorry miles and I were just there playing a little grab ass It's me and mine. Stop it miles We are here for the belly to podcast. Don't you do it? We're here for the belly up podcast I'm your host Charlie Barrett smiles and Miles is Just rough houses. I just want to give you a dead lake. So bad. Did you and your brothers rough house? Oh, we beat the crap out of each other. See, I had an interesting situation. My older brother didn't love to rough house as much. And my younger brother

would just cry. So I would just mostly go see one of those. And then you would cry. And then I get in trouble. It sounds like you got a better situation. Yeah. We'll just get them right there. Get them right there. The pressure points back in the neck, get them between the top part of the arm and the bicep and that separation. There's a pressure point right there. If you get it with that middle knuckle, Oh done. My dad used to go who won the Kentucky Derby? And I'd be like, no, no, no. And he smacked me be like, Charlie horse. He named you Charlie just so he could do that one joke. What you did with all his kids for Andy, it would be Andy horse. Billy Billy horse. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. Started with you though. Yeah. I think probably good. He's like, Oh

shit. His name is Charlie. I can kind of kind of muffle up a little bit. Now that I bring this up, I'm not sure that he did it with the others. I gotta ask him. I'm wearing the turtles bar and grill shirt. I like that. What's it? It's got a turtle with some wheels on it. Yeah. It's a little big, small size. So small, but honestly, big shirts are in these days. You know, miles, big dirt, big shirt, Billy Eilish. Isn't that a song? Big shirt, Billy miles. It's a black top, big t-shirt, Billy Eilish, big t-shirt, Billy Eilish. You got the Billy Eilish looking on. It's crazy how the kids these days miles the kids these days are dressing like we dressed in it back when we were in college or I guess I was in college.

You were in high school, maybe grade school. Yeah. What year did you, were you in college? What years in college from 2005 to 2000 shot? Don't laugh at that. 2015, 2009. Yeah, dude. I wasn't even graduated high school and you guys, I was winning a state championship though. 2009 bring out the year book. We haven't opened that in a while on this podcast. What were you doing in 2010, 2010? I was first job. I was a preferred. Well, I went back to being bike mechanic for like a couple of months. We're a bike mechanic. I was winning another state championship in 2010. So well, 2000, no 2010. I was working on this film. Well, we were, we were winning a championship. I owe it all to the offensive line and the defense. They just really carried

us. So I'm actually trying to think about what I was defense. They just really carried us. So I'm actually trying to think about what I was doing. You don't care. You're just rambling on about your frigging title. Two titles, two titles. Do you have the trophy? Absolutely. You know, they call Fargo title town to that reason. Yeah. That's a interesting way to burn the Packers. I mean, the Packers just call them championships anyways. So we also have a champ to change. Well, is it what we won a lot of titles in the early days of the NFL, most titles in the NFL. So you're welcome. Okay. And title goes with

town alliteration. All right. Soon we'll be able to call it the super bowl city. All right. Hey, that's actually pretty good. It is. I think actually new England could claim that. I know. Give us like eight to 10 years. Okay. Sounds good. Well, Charlie, you got your turtle shirt on. We're at turtles bar and grill here in Chocopee. I got my quarter zip. I'm becoming a bit of a quarter zip guy. I've noticed that about you. I just, you know what? I don't care if people think it's tacky or I look like an insurance guy. I love wearing shorts with a quarter zip. It's just, it's even if it's hot out. Really? That's your look. You're shivering. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. I see your goosebumps on your legs. Hang on. Let me touch one. Well, those aren't goosebumps. Those are just from when you shaved last razor burn razor burn.

You ever shave your legs? No, never once. Have you? How about your balls? Just kidding. I don't want to know that. I usually use like a three guard on. Do you? A three guard. I like to keep them long. No, I got the point five guard.

I like to keep them like Kiwis, you know. Oh, hello to Mary Jane. My mother. Now true. That's not. Well, what is Jane, Miles' mother. That's not true. That's not true. Well, what is true, Miles? I, should we take some callers? Yeah, let's take some callers

before we find out if Miles has waxed his sacks. All right, let's do it. Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who are we talking to? Hi, my name is David from Michigan. How you doing? David from Michigan. We're doing swell. Why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind. All right. So we're here with a couple of bodies in the room right now and my roommate, he's been saying he's been wheeling all these ladies

and he's been getting with them. But the friend group up here just found out he has a restraining order. How do we go about telling him this that we know he has it? So hold on, wait a minute. So a gal has a restraining order on your buddy. Yeah. Apparently like he was like harassing her or something too much and like texting her. And then the boyfriend got mad and just filed the restraining order on them. Ooh, that's, I mean, that's a no-go situation. I, this is not good. This is not good at all. Restraining orders aren't exactly easy to get either. So it's, it's probably more than

just a jealous boyfriend. Like you got, you got to work a little bit to get an actual court ordered restraining order. Yeah. And he hasn't told us about this either. Well, it's not a great icebreaker. Hey guys, how was your day? Hey, I got delivered a restraining order. So that was fun. Yeah. I don't know how long you are into your friendship before you reveal the fact you got a restraining order. But did someone just look up his name? What made you find out? Public public safety. We know like some friends at public safety here and they asked us if

we know anything about it. And then you guys do pub safe is definitely a bunch of rats. They're just ratting people out. I mean, this guy was thought he was slick and then pub safe shows up and starts spilling the beans. They're not even real cops, Charlie. They're rented, but you know what? No shame to the pub safe game. They, I mean, I'm sure the public say they got their place. You're right. They got their place. It's usually sitting down. But anyways So your buddy's got a restraining or let's dive into the buddy. What's he like? Is this a big surprise to you guys or you're like no, dude

No, not at all. He's got that ROE that restraining order order energy that R O E, huh? That restraining order, order energy. Um, so what, what's his, what's his interactions with women? Ben so far in your experience with him, you said he was wheeling. Um, a lot of beer with him. Get nothing after he's over three. He drinks a lot of beer and what gallery you got closer to the phone. What am I supposed to do? Get a, what do you guys got stadium seating in that college house with the couch on some cinder blocks. Get closer to the phone. All right. Yeah. So he talks to a lot of women, but he gets nothing from them. They all like run away scared for some reason. Well, what's his pickup line? I don't think he has one.

It's come over, we'll drink some beers, and then they come over, drink beers, and walk out and he gets nothing. You're so like, channeled. So they come over to the house to drink beers, and then is he like a good looking guy? Does it seem like he should be able to have a girlfriend? He's a Midwest four at best.

He's a Midwest four at best. Okay. Well, what are you guys with a mullet? You guys are acting like he doesn't pull a, you know, he can't hit on any women and get any girls. What are you guys? How are you guys doing? Oh, we're doing great. And that you just said we're doing great in a way that I do not believe you are doing great. We all got girlfriends. It's just him. Oh, okay. I see. This is a gang up situation. You guys are signaling. Oh, signaling them out just cause he's got a restraining order. Very mature. Let's all pick on the restraining order. Just cause we, just cause we decided to stick with one woman the rest of our life, you know? Okay. Here's how you do it. Here's how you

do it. You guys are all hanging out bros one night and you know, one of you says, Hey, we should look each other up and see if we got a criminal record. Dan, I'm starting with you or whatever. What are your other guys? His names are. And then Dan will be like, no, don't look me up. I get all right. What I wonder if my drinking tickets on it when I was 18 and then you get over to the restraining order fella and then you'll see if he's going to come clean in that moment or he's gonna, he's gonna know he's coming clean. He knows you're going to look it up, you know? So I think that can open up the thing for a nice, healthy conversation. It can be on his own terms kind of, you know, I think, I mean, you guys are

in college. You said, yeah. So you guys, it's been a while since I've been in college. Are you guys still icing people? What are you guys still ice? Oh no. We're old. No. Oh, do you know what icing is? What do you say? What did the peanut galleries? I don't know. They don't listen. I mean, wait, what'd you guys say? Banquet Coors banquet. No, like you hide a smirnoff ice in a drawer and your buddy opens it up and he's got chugged the whole thing. Yeah, we do that with Coors banquet. Oh, they do it with banquets. That's what they were saying. They were communicating. You need to do that. But wrapped around the banquet is you need to have a copy of his restraining order. And then he not only has to chug it.

He also has the shame of standing there with his restraining order in hand. All right. We'll do that. How is he going to react? How's he going to talk about this? What's his mind to this? Well, is he like a happy go lucky guy? Is this going to put them in a bad way? We don't want to start. We don't want to, you know, fellas made some mistakes, obviously, but we don't want to. Why don't want to start. We don't want to, you know, fellas made some mistakes obviously, but we don't want to. Why don't we profile them a little bit? I imagine this guy loves going to the gym and talking about the supplements that he takes. He's probably got some mirror selfies. Never been to the gym in the entire life. Okay. Well I just don't have a beat on this guy. I mean that's probably good. I don't know restraining order behaviors, you know,

says he shoots a lot of birds, killed one goose in his entire life. Okay. So why do you guys hang out with this guy? He kind of sounds like you hate him. He's what he's a roommate of ours. We have to hang out. Is he a nice guy? He can be, he can be. He can be? Okay. I mean, I think, okay, this is a real tough one. Yeah, this is a tough one. I don't know, I think you got Miles's Coors approach. One of you can pull him aside and say,

hey, I hear you like to text Anything you want to tell me to my face, you know, why don't you guys just do to him what he's doing to women? You know just start texting him and non-stop kind of creepy stuff Would that be something if he took out a restraining order on you guys then you won that's it You guys have to make him feel better about the situation. Okay. You got to make him feel more comfortable, but do not do it to women for God's sake. One of them, what? Yeah. One of you take out a restraining order on another one of you. And that way two of the roommates have restraining orders. So the water is warm to discuss your restraint issues and maybe you can help them grow together.

And then when the word gets out, everyone's going to want to come over to your guys' house for a party. That's true. I didn't think about that. Because I'll have the ragers. Yeah. Honestly, guys, stop talking about it. No one's going to want to come over to your house anymore. Yeah, maybe you just forget about the fact and just make sure he doesn't get himself into another. Well, I don't know. Maybe accountability. This is

like a classic when me and my parents get drunk and start arguing about something. We just wake up the next day and act like it never happened. And I think that's what you guys very Catholic of you guys. Very Catholic. He is doing his time in the eyes of the court. She could leave it at that. Or you could... Oh, I know what it is. Here we go. What?

You guys need to plan a chain of events for an evening that's going to make him potentially violate said restraining order, and he's going to out himself by not being able to do it. Miles, the only way he would out his restraining orders by talking to his ex fling and then well, no, like she, he knows that she's there. He knows he can't go there. He's my guy. Sorry. I got to head back to the pad and shit bad. Sorry. I see it. Okay.

But you, you don't know the, the person, right? No, we don't. Well, sorry, your roommates got restraining order. There's only so much we can do on that one. Me and my college buddies dead anytime. Just make fun of them until he is ready to move out. Just do that. Okay. All right. Miles is advocating bullying and I'll give you the opposite approach. Make it a safe space for him to talk about his feelings and why he did it and help him

become a better man. Okay. Maybe take away the beer and introduce him to weed. Nobody ever got a restraining order smoking weed. That is very true. So, a little bit of pot will go a long way. Happy to help you college kids. Talk to you soon. All right, well thank you. Watch out for deer, go lions.

You guys too, go lions. Go lions, baby, Lions. End the call, end the call. Oh. Kids these days, man. Restraining orders. Are we getting a restraining order in college? I thought that was like creepy,

like 45 year old man behavior. Yeah, no one's worth a restraining order, folks. There's no relationship out there worth fighting for that hard. OK, if you find yourself obsessively texting someone or obsessively hounding someone, see a therapist or just channel that into chat. GPT, they'll talk to you all day. Yeah, talk to the robots, you know, find yourself. Should we take another caller?

Yeah. Hey, this is Stephanie. Hi, Stephanie, this is Charlie. Hey, Bertel, what are you guys doing? Well, we're hanging out at the bar. We're having a couple, you know, just chilling. I'm here with Miles, he's my friend. What's going on?

What's on your mind? I was just calling because I've been listening to this podcast and I enjoyed listening to it, so I wanted to talk to you. I guess my first question I had was if you had any advice for a dog that eats poop. A dog that eats poop. That's well, first of all, why are you kink-chamin'? Oh my God. Why? I'm just askin', what's so bad,

what's the worst thing that can happen to your dog eatin' poop? I guess there's not as much thought about it, but it is kind of gross sometimes. It grows for you. He's got bad breath, Charlie. What? He doesn't.

Well, she's not making out with the dog. Dog's a dog. Let the animals be the animals. We gotta stop controlling them. They were wolves at one point in time and we decided to breed them with, what kind of a dog is this? Oh, I have two Boston Terriers.

One, he's really old. And then my other one, he's I just adopted. He's really young. And he's the one that eats the older ones. Poop. Well, there's a lot of wisdom in poop. And so he's probably just doing his best. Yeah. Can they get diseases from that?

Is that a? Well, I work in a vet office, but I don't think they seem to have a problem with it with diseases. Unless, I guess, unless one gets the disease and then they just keep giving it to each other. Oh, hey, if there's no disease worry, then honestly you're saving money on dog food. Now you only got to feed one dog and then he craps it out and feeds the other. What's so wrong with that?

Yeah. And if you. Yeah, I'll just. If you if you think about it, there are several instances in human life where we consume things that have gone through other animals, digestive systems. There is a coffee that they have the sheep eat the coffee beans and the sheep poop out the coffee beans and then they use that coffee beans. A delicacy. Psychedelic mushrooms are grown on cow dung. So who are we to blow against the wind? Perhaps you

just need to get yourself a good cup of coffee and some psychedelics and then, you know? I guess so. Yeah. I do love listening to all of you guys' podcasts, and I didn't think I would get through to talk to you guys, so that's really cool. Well, you got through. Hey, can I ask you a question?

Yep, yep, come here. You know, we, this is fairly anonymous. We know your first name, which is great, but this is a safe space, is what I'm trying to say. You got anything you wanna get off your chest, any confessions you haven't told anyone else you wanna tell us? It's kinda like the priest, except we're not priests at all,

but it can help, can help heal. Got any confessions for us? I'm trying to think of any good ones. Let's see. I don't think I have any good confessions. No, no. Okay. Okay.

But I was gonna ask you guys, how Midwest do you think Missouri is? Oh, Missouri is a really interesting one. I mean, it's definitely in the Midwest. I've spent some time in Missouri, Charlie. Um, now I will have to say it's kind of, uh, you know, they've, they've adopted some Southern mentality. You know, you start getting further south in Missouri. There's there's some hints of that as well. But I think that they're still the Midwest. They really love to drink alcohol down there, Charlie.

Yeah, they do. Love shooting stuff. They love guns. They love hunting. I met some guys. They go hunting like every weekend down in Missouri. It it is. Yep, it is. It's got a quite the blend with the South, too.

So, you know, you've got a lot of your outdoor activities in the South. It's almost the bridge between the Midwest and the South. And you kind of realize we're not so different in a lot of ways. That's a good way to think of it. Yeah, it's kind of the land where like, where like the bless your heart blends with the watch out for deer. It's a bless your deer area.

Yeah, exactly, bless your deer. Or watch your heart. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. Is that where you're from is Missouri? Yeah. Pretty close to St. Louis. Okay. Nice. St. Louis is a great spot. I'll have a show coming up down there. Come on out. The house, the what? And shellfish.

Uh, I'm pretty sure it's shellfish or sub bar, but no, I said I got a show coming down there. Oh, you do. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Sounds like it sounds like she's going to come.

She's like, I don't think that's very interesting to me, but you just insulted our shellfish. There's no way I'm coming. No, I am a really picky eater, so I don't eat a lot of seafood. And I couldn't hear you very well. I couldn't hear you very well. I was like, did you say shellfish? I couldn't hear you. Oh, no, I got that. And then I decided to double down on the fact that you can hear shellfish and repeated it. So Miles is just laughing because I'm taking this. Sometimes I take these calls and do into Narnia and it's

I'm just laughing because it's just complete miscommunication between you two. You're talking about your comedy show and she thinks you're trying to get her to eat shellfish. Well, I clarified, though, and then she understood. And then since we were talking about shellfish, I figured we'd finish the conversation. Well, anyways, you got anything you want by sell or trade? A dog that eats crap. I guess that is something that to get off my chest would be like, I am kind of scared of dying. I think that's kind of a scary thought in my mind. Okay, well let's dive into that, Charlie. Scared of death, fear of death. You know, I'm Catholic, so I'll one-up ya.

I'm scared of going to hell. That's a good one. Yeah, dying's not so bad when you think about hell. And that's kind of the thing you gotta think about. If you are scared of something, all you gotta do is think about something else you're more scared of, and then that makes the thing you got to think about. If you are scared of something, all you got to do is think about something else you're more scared of, and then that makes the thing you were originally scared of

not so bad. The problem is, is when the one thing you're scared of leads to the next thing you're scared of, Charlie. She's got a good life. She's housed in a poop-eating dog. There's a special place in heaven. You're already in purgatory. And speaking of heaven,

this helps with the dog. Might I say all dogs go to heaven, all right? Are you a believer? Do you believe in one God or the other? It's hard, I have mixed feelings. Yeah, we all do. But, you know, at the end of the day, I think there's this Bible quote,

"'God is love, and all who live in love live in God. So whether you believe in God or love, we all believe in the same thing. Don't we miles? Very well. You just, did you guys, did you guys have any run buckets today? Any run buckets? The hell kind of a follow up question is that does it sound like Charlie's had a rum bucket or two? No, no, I just, I just didn't think I'd get on the phone. So I'm like, I gotta think of every question I want to ask them. I've been listening like to all the

episodes. No, I've been trying to get Charlie to do a rum bucket since the last one. And he's kind of a slippery guy when it comes to rum. Oh, I just, I got the rot bucket after the rum bucket. You know, it just eats away at your gut and a little bit of your soul. Yeah. You ever wake up in the morning after a rum bucket, boy, I'll tell you, you're scared of hell that morning. Okay. You want nothing more than to call your mom, you know,

how, uh, how old are you? I, uh, in 20, I always forget how old I am. I'm going to be 29 this year. You can't be, yeah, you can't be too scared about that. Well, you think you're going to die soon What, did you go down my AI rabbit hole? What's going on? No, it just seems like life is flying by so fast. Oh, don't blink.

Don't blink. Don't blink. One day your dog's eating your other dog's shit and you take a nap and you wake up and your dog died and you're next, so don't blink. You know, I always, you always got to remember that song. It's a beautiful country song. I'm going to be really sad when you guys stop making episodes because it's like makes my day every time that you guys have a new episode too. She's already talking about our retirement. Yeah.

Yeah. We're not trying to go anywhere yet. You know, all right. But you have another 20 years. So don't, don't you better get complaining and going. Okay. All right. We got to do it for another 20 years. Another 20. Don't blink miles. Don't blink. I had to ask you guys, because it's a big thing between my cousin and wife of what you keep the sermon set at home. 69. You keep it at 69? Oh Miles is making a perverted joke. No. Do you really keep it at 69? No that's a hint chili. Well so my kid actually runs a little hot. Okay. So like it'll be like 72 degrees out and he gets too hot and starts crying so we got to like bring a fan with us. What a little hot. Okay. So like it'll be like 72 degrees out and he gets too hot and starts crying. So we got to like bring a fan with us. What a print. Oh my God. He was born

in the cold and you merely adopted it, Charlie. He doesn't like the hot weather. And so we actually keep our house a little bit chillier. So he's more comfortable. Oh wow. Look at that. I was born. We're doing a blame and not blame pain. Charlie had a few rum buckets. I did not have a rum bucket. I I I. Oh, yeah. In the summer, I keep it at seventy five. And in the winter, I keep it at like sixty eight. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah. That's what my husband likes.

He's trying to save money. I see what's going on. No, it's just appropriate. You know, that's, that's just comfortable. I kind of like, I grew up without the AC, so I kind of, I don't mind it a little bit. I could sleep with just the top sheet on, you know? Yeah. I, I, I prefer to be cold, but my husband's,

I would say, likes to save some money, so he likes that warmer temperature. You sleep better when you know you're saving money. Yep. That is true. That is true. Yeah, well, we appreciate you calling today. We're happy that you got on.

Good luck with the shit-eating dog. I wouldn't be too worried about it. So thanks for calling in today and have a good one. Yeah, you guys have a good one. Watch out for deer. You too now. We touched all sorts of life's. I love how she was like, didn't want to hang up. So she was just pulling any question out.

It was like, oh, it's I was afraid if we didn't want to hang up. So she was just pulling any question out. It's like Hmm, it's I was afraid if we didn't end the call we were gonna get into politics next, you know I was like, well, we already touched on religion. I talked to religion. We talked the meaning of life We talked money with the thermostat question. The next one's politics Excellent. We got out when we did got out before the cooking was good. Should we take another caller, Charlie? Let's do it, Miles. Hey, pal. You're stuck with insurance companies pushing you

around after an injury? Miles, have you ever been pushed around by an insurance company after an injury? Well, luckily, I like to stay uninjured. But if I do, I don't like it when those insurance companies are pushing me around. Yeah, insurance companies suck eggs, unless they want to sponsor this podcast. But I'll tell you this much.

Nicolay law, that's your ace in the hole, baby. They don't mess around. Tough cases are their special T and they get you the dough. You deserve miles. Do you like though? Look at me. I mean, I mean you are a dough, a dear miles, dear. I like it. Um, well you like the dough. You deserve miles with offices in North Dakota, Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin. They are practically there in your backyard. Here's the kicker though, if they don't win, you don't pay. That's a good deal. I like that.

Charlie, we got some more. The fan mail and man hears the mail. It never fails and makes me want to wait my tail when it comes. I want to wear. Well, this one comes from a fan comes from Emily from Northfield, Minnesota. She says, Hey guys, Emily hunting season is almost here, which means my husband will be M I a in the woods for weeks, weeks, I'm a socket. Ha ha ha ha ha. God, I'm pretty sure he's secretly a deer whisperer and I'm left to play solo couch potato.

I don't know where's the couch potatoes is going. What's he doing with those deer in the woods for? Well, no, this is Emily's a solo couch potato. Well, he's gone. No, I know. But I'm still confused. We're doing them deer whispering you whisper into those deer? I might be doing some. Emily also says I get that he needs his time in nature,

but I'm starting to feel like a single parent. Any tips on how to make this time a bit more bearable divorce proceedings, start them up or I get divorced. I know that's like you love getting divorces Charlie Oh Relax miles. It was a light-hearted joke. I've only been divorced once Chill on it. She needs some help before she starts naming the squirrels in the backyard She said so what what is something God? What is something on the tip of my, it's on the tip of my tongue. Tip tip tip

be cow. She could drink tipy cow guys. If you're a solo couch potato at home, there's no better way to pass the time than to tip on back some tippy cow and you know, relax. So guys, if you are a solo couch potato looking for something to go to find the tippy cow, pour it up. Charlie and I are drinking the chocolate shake today. Shock a lot. Hey, shock. Hey, check it out. Tippy cow, baby. Hi, this is Emily. Emily. I'm Emily. That's my sister's name. Yeah. Oh, great name. It's a great, great name. I love it. Well, Emily, what's on your mind? Oh, my goodness. OK, so I I I'm a college student at Wayne State. Go cat. Wait, which Wayne State in Nebraska or Michigan?

In Nebraska. My MSD dragons just lost to the Wayne state wildcats a couple of weeks ago, Charlie. So also when I played in college, we played Wayne state and that was my first ever college start. Charlie, get the yearbook out. And there's a video of me getting decapitated by a Wayne state player. Really? I'll show it to you. I'd love to watch that. It's tough. So anyways, I don't actually mean boo, but boo to the football team. I'll shoot. Well, I'm a ticket gal. So I, at the last football game, I have to go sell tickets. Oh, you're working out. Work study. I think they call that Yeah, no

Yeah, no, not not my only job, but you know gotta gotta pay rent. Yeah. Well, you didn't call in to talk about your jobs What'd you call in for? so um So I'm like a nice Midwest gal, but I cannot find a nice Midwest boy And it's becoming kind of an issue because all my friends are now getting married and I don't have any dates. You don't have a date. All right well let's we'll do it we'll do it. Give us the specs. What do you like to do? How old are you? We know where you're living and what

kind of a fella do you want? Give us the height restrictions. Give us the type. Just lay it on the line. Perth restrictions. Yeah. This is a bellied up, bellied up Tinder profile. Okay, Perth. Um, so preferably taller than like me.

So like taller than like five seven five eight Okay, you could take a short king then I Could you know at this point in time if you're funny? You know, whoever would work Preferably a farmer. I'm a little farm gal So if you go in cows and land, I'm interested damn automatically. All right. Yeah but Yeah, no someone who likes to go out drink a couple beers

Ever had a green belt Grain belt. Oh, yeah fan nice beer. Those are good. Yeah Um, so what's I mean, it seems like you're not too picky. What's been the problem? Well, quite frankly, most of the dudes in in my college town, they're just kind of weird. They just they do weird stuff. They say weird things that are just like eggs. Like why? Um, well.

Well, it's it's, so Wayne is a small college so like everyone knows everyone and like I was talking to this one guy one time and I thought things were like really going well and then I confronted, or not confronted, but I was like, hey, do you like me? And then he straight up told me no

just to figure out like two weekends ago he's basically hooking up with one of my friends so what did you say to your friend nothing I she told me everything because I was she thinks that something's gonna happen out of it so she doesn't know he was talking to you. Yeah. Oh, this dude was like, I had classes with him. He was holding open doors, wanting to study with me. Well, that could just be very Midwest. He like actually was looking for a study partner, like completely platonic. He's just sent really bad at math. He what? No, he's smarter than me.

So like I was like low key using him like, wow. Well, symbiotic in that way then. I mean, what's the rush? What's the rush? Is everyone in your family getting married? What's going on? Oh my gosh. Out of my one friend group, all of them, they, so I'm the youngest out of that friend group, but all of them got, all of them are married besides me. How old are you? 22, 22. None of them will ask. Wait for the divorces to come. Yeah. They're going to all become, they're all going to be coming solo single to your wedding someday. So don't worry about that. You got time.

OK, Perth, no, but but it still doesn't help that. Like, I don't I need to just find a dude for like a date. Just so I'm not going to these weddings alone. Well, I don't need to marry him. Yeah, that shouldn't be hard. Find a dude for a day. Actually go on Tinder and say you're just looking for one day one date There's gonna be a ton of guys out there that I wanted to do that

Except I've already tried that oh and again, I just find weirdos like one I was talking to this one guy and Turns out he originally grew up About 20 miles from my hometown and he was he's a couple years older than me. He ended up dating some girl from my same hometown. And we have not talked since he brought that up. So he hasn't responded.

Well, you're striking out there. You're what? Yeah. Yeah. You don't need a date for a wedding. Just go go find someone on the dance floor. Could also try out chicks. Yeah. Have you tried that? The gals? Well, I do have my gal pals, but yeah, bring them to a wedding. You're not interested in but I'm but I'm not I'm not I'm not into girls. They're not my, there's, I have a roommate and that's enough. Like I could not.

Okay. Yeah. Just not, I'm trying to exercise all possibilities here. Yeah. Well, we're just really in a pickle. You have siblings? Yes, I do. I got three of them. Well, do they, any of them have friends? Well, I've already been set up with all my older sister's friends, but they're all they're all none of them ever worked out. Well, I'm starting to not.

I mean, everything we throw at you is not a good idea. So, I mean, by process of elimination, I don't want to say it, but maybe it's time to realize that when you pointing a finger, there's three more pointed right back at you. Oh, my, I don't want to go there, but process of elimination. Don't make you thinking it comes on this podcast. She's vulnerable saying she's looking for a date for these weddings for these people are going to get divorced in a few years. And then you're just saying it's her issue. I didn't say that. I said, could it be that we need to change something

to get on the right path? Now, you know what? I'm going to say, oh, go ahead, go ahead. Oh, so what do I change about myself then? Well, so you come on strong. Uh huh. There you go. There we go. That's it. You gotta, if you want to get a date, then they get scared. I know. If you want a date, you gotta act like you don't want to date. Nothing makes a guy want to date someone more than someone who doesn't want to date them. Yeah. You ever go fishing

for bass? Uh, no, no, not a big fisher now. Well, that's the problem right there. But bass, as a lure comes by, they want it. They want it because they can't have it, because they can't catch it, you know? So you just want to be that little spinner bait. And, yeah, just buzz the tower and keep going. And then you're gonna, you're gonna find yourself something sweet. I'd tell you that much. Well, no, well, thanks. Thanks for the advice. Um,

I also, you know what? I'll take it. You know? Yeah. I mean, just don't try as hard as, as, as weird as that sounds. I think if you just, uh, be more chill about it, I think you'll have more success. Okay. No, no. Well, I also called about miles. My sister, she got married this summer and I met her brother-in-law and he is your doppelganger. Okay. Sounds like a pretty hot guy. Oh no. He's a hoot and holler. No, that's not, that's No, that's not what I said. I said he was a good looking guy and you said he was funny. So what's that mean? And he's not really my type, but, but he's also married. So that doesn't help. And he's like 10 years older than me. Okay. I am almost 10 years old, but no, that's nice. Sounds like a good, good guy. Yeah. What is your type? What do you let you a farmer? She said, yeah, sorry. Yeah. You want to throw

out your Instagram for any fellows interested in sliding into your DMS? What's your Instagram? Yeah, no. It's Emily and then Wookman W O O C K M A N Wookman W O O C K M A N. That's a great name. Very German. Yeah. Well, we hope that you can find love and remember, just don't come on too strong. It, you know, you come storming through the woods, you're going to spook a nice buck. You got to be silent. You got to be quiet. It's almost like they don't even know you're there. And then you, okay. Yeah. Shoot them right in the heart. There you go. A little Cupid up there. You know what? Yeah. I think that's what I got to do. Well, thank you for your guys' time. I appreciate it. That was great. Thank you, Emily. Good luck out there with the fellas.

All right. Go dragons. Now go cat. Go cat. We'll see you soon. Take care now. Well, Charlie, I think that's another episode of the bellied up podcast. I T B miles in the box. It's what it is. CBA could be anything. Could be anything. Could be anyone. There's a guy at the bar yesterday. I know I was listening to him.

He's come up to me. CBA could be anything. Could anyone works in every situation? CBA. Well, Charlie, it's been a pleasure. Yeah, guys. Thanks for tuning into another episode of the belly podcast. As always tip your bartender. We'll see you next one. Bye bye.