Bellied Up - How To Disappoint Dad #115

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

In this episode, we’re podcasting from Long Bridge in Detroit Lakes, MN. (00:06:10 - 00:22:01)First caller from South Carolina is struggling with family expectations and wants tips on how to embrace disappointing his dad. (00:22:06 - 00:34:07) Our second caller from Virginia is looking for creative ways to go camping solo without his wife knowing. (00:41:21 - 00:53:19) Finally, our last caller from Lubbock, Texas, is gearing up for a big game day and needs tailgating tips to make his party the coolest one in town. Check out our Clips Page 👇 https://www.youtube.com/@BelliedUpClips?app=desktop Get Yourself a "Road Hunting for Ditch Chickens" hat 👇 https://ohhyoubetcha.com/products/ditch-chickens-hat Check out Charlie Berens Special "Midwest Goodbye" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wEzagimGjc Check out Myles' Podcast "You Betcha Radio" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQK1ATqc6L9wz4FAiun8kKw

Welcome back to another episode of the bellied up podcast. Me and Charlie are currently bellied up in paradise. We got our sunglasses on. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, we are in a vacation mode. Yeah. And this bar, it just screams vacation mode. If I close my eyes, I'm on a beach in the Caribbean. Yeah. But are we on a beach in the Caribbean? No, we are here at long bridge in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. I mean. We got the marina behind us, we got boats. You see that sailboat back there, Charlie?

Oh, does that have a sail on it? Oh yeah. It sure does. How about that pontoon? That's got, that's got pontoons on it. Mm-hmm. And then, you'll never guess what that jet ski has on it Jets handlebars. Okay. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. So guys we're hanging out here. It is Honestly immaculate vibes. Yeah, I've got the lake in the background. You could walk ten steps and you're on the beach

Umbrellas and What better way to be in paradise than with a nice fruity drink. This one's called the bridge sunset. Charlie, the bridge sunset. Should we review it? I haven't tried it before in my life in this bridge sunset. Charlie. Yeah, there's citrus vodka. Okay. Melon. Liqueur. Okay.

Lemonade. Topped with a strawberry slushy, a strawberry slushy floater. Wow. I am going to just say it, Miles. This is going to get you lit up like a Christmas wish. Yes. These are dangerous. I have a feeling. Yeah. I don't think this hangover is I think we're going to feel this hangover in about two hours.

That quick, that quick, that quick. That's how it goes. All right. First of all, cheers, Charlie. OK, cheers, Miles. Sorry, audience. I slurp that one. Sounded gross, but tasted pretty good. Oh, that's tasted pretty good. Oh, that's actually really good.

I could probably have a couple of 13, 14 of those miles. I got to hand it to you. I was not a fan when you requested that both of us get this drink, but I will say that from a taste perspective, it tastes just like one of them melted freezy pops that you pull out of the freezer and then you left it out for a little while. Yeah. Like the ones that will slice the sides of your mouth.

Yeah. Yeah. And you would always try to bite them open. You know, that's how you would slice. And then you just, just suck those. What were those calls? Like they freezey pops. There's freezies.

Yeah. Yeah. Freezies. Uh, the meme of the Joker and it it goes you want to know how I got these scars yeah and then it just shows the photo of the oh I haven't seen that pop that's a meme I wish I made yeah this is a freeze pop in a glass Charlie it is mmm I have a feeling this this episode is going to be a little wild miles for drinking these suckers at 11 45 a.m. Charlie when you're in this mode you're drinking a liquid freeze

pop you're bellied up to a bar at the lake. What's your go to song that gets you in the right mood for vacation. You know, I feel like the right answer here is some kind of Jimmy Buffett situation. You stole mine. That's what I was. No, you can take that one. Cause that's, that's not, I would go, I actually have like a Paul Simon Graceland. You know, someone out there is going, yes, most people are like, what are I'm following the highway down the cradle through the civil war. I already screwed it up. It doesn't matter. I'm now completely in vacation mode.

There you go. What way do you want to go? I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world.

I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end of the world. I'm going to go to the end down the cradle through the civil war. I already screwed it up. It doesn't

matter. I'm now completely in vacation mode. There you go. What's your Jimmy Buppet song since that's the one you were going to go with? Um, I really, I mean this situation that we're specifically in, I don't care if you go cliche, I think a good Margaritaville. Well, it's a good thing. You don't care if you go cliche. I think a good Margaritaville. Well, it's a good thing. You don't care if you go cliche cause that's pretty cliche. My Lord. But you know what? Cheeseburger in paradise, Charlie. It's true. Yeah. A couple cut in there miles later. What an unbelievable song cheeseburger in paradise is by the way. Do you think when he wrote it, he was eating a cheeseburger in paradise? I think he was counting his money. Talk about observational creativity right

there. Jimmy Buffett might be one of the greatest. I just seeing the money as he writes it, very relatable, but also he did it right. He literally did exactly what he wanted to do. I feel like his whole life, he only wanted to sit on a beach and drink. And that's what he did. And that's what he did. And his lyrics were just journals from his day, just a little footnotes. So Charlie, once I finished this in about two minutes, good war, dude, you're a, I heard they got a 32 ounce bucket. No, that you and I may have to share. Yeah. I know my, why not? I mean, we can share it. You gotta let loose once in a while. Charlie, I got always buttoned up. I, you know, I need you to let your hair down in a while. All right. All right. You want miles? Yeah. Drink up Charlie. You start drinking

that. We'll get the bucket at some point and we'll take some collars. Should we do that? All right. Well, yeah, let's do it. Get you in that Island state of mind out here, Charlie. Okay. Yeah. Wasted away again in Minnesota. Bill, let's do it. Welcome to the belly of the podcast. Who do we got on the line? Andrew, Andrew fellow. What's going on today? Not much. Just at work right now. Where do you work? From South Carolina. I work for a pool company, a pool company. Oh, you called into the right podcast because right now Charlie and I are bellied up to long bridge bar here in Minnesota with a lake in the background and we are in that pool state of mind.

Well, yeah, because what is a lake if not God's pool? So, you know, we are here, we are ready. And honestly, a lake is nice and a pool right in front of us would be pretty cool too. So when you're done down there, why don't you come up here? We'll start drawing up some plans. It's not too far of a drive. Yeah. Belly up to the bar with us. Tell us what's on your mind. All right. So I'm originally from Ohio. So that's kind of where I grew up. Oh, my dad's very Midwest, even though moved down south and he kind of used me as a disappointment, but you won't outright say it. So I decided to embrace it. Welcome to the club.

You're, yeah, we got t-shirts in the back. Okay. Yeah. But I've decided to embrace it. So now I'm trying to think of things I can do to get them to say that I'm a disappointment cause you won't outright say it. Oh, I got it. So he thinks you're a disappointment cause you're more Southern than you are Midwest. Is that right? And you want to double down on the non Midwest thing in order for him to do it or just generalize things to disappoint your dad? Generally because I got two older brothers and a younger sister So my two older brothers are doing well in life and then I have a college degree that I'm cleaning pools for a living. So you have a what degree college.

I'm a four year degree. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. So that's the root disappointment is that you went to school, got a degree and he thinks you're just cleaning pools. Pretty much. Okay. Wow. cleaning pools pretty much okay well I mean okay well I'm going to embrace it

at this point yeah no no this this is great yeah what are the signs that he because he clearly hasn't said it to your face but what tells you that that you're a disappointment like how, how do you know? Oh, he brags about my district to everyone. Um, all my two older brothers. Um, so like one of my brothers, he owned a landscaping company and he's doing well in life. And then the other one, um, like he inspects cars for a living and he has like his own house and has like a brand new car and a sports car and all that stuff And I'm just kind of standing over here still living at home and pools How old did we figure out how old you are yet?

I am how would am I I'm 23. You're 23. Okay 23 living at home clean and pools Well, if you want to say you're disappointed to his face I would start getting inventive with some storytelling just sit down at the dinner table one day and just say dad Can I borrow $20,000 tomorrow See, I got fired from my pool cleaning job because I turned it into a skate park and somebody job because I turned it into a skate park and somebody accidentally cracked their head and now I am personally liable, which makes you kind of personally liable since this is

the house that they're going to take if I can't pay. So what do you say? 20 G's or no, you say that to your dad, he might come out firing. That is a good way to get your dad freaked out and say things like you are a disappointment is threatening money. You know? Getting in a tight money spot is one of the sure ways to get a Midwest dad stressed

because those guys are pinching every penny. That's true. And it's there. They're, they're not messing around. So Charlie, what are some other classic ways to disappoint a Midwest dad? Oh, well that's perfect. Just wait for him to need to do something around the house. A little is your dad a handyman?

Does your dad fix things? Uh, he attempts to, and then he normally breaks it more than it was before. Is your dad a handyman? Does your dad fix things? He attempts to, and then he normally breaks it more than it was before. Oh, well you gotta be there commenting on this situation. Imagine it's an NFL game and you're like, here's dad thinking he can fix the P-trap in the sink again and he turns it to the left and to the left and oh no, that was the right and he cracked it to the left and to the left and oh no, that was the right. And he cracked

the pipe. Now he's off to the fleet farm to get that is the surest way to get a wrench thrown. Yeah. He might not call you a disappointment, but you might not be breathing by the end of it. I think a more subtle way, Charlie, to really disappoint a Midwest dad is to just blatantly overpay for something. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, or not negotiate, right? Like let's say you are buying a used car and you don't negotiate. You just buy the sticker price. That is absolute disappointment in his mind. Yes. A thousand percent because there's nothing a Midwest. You what I tried that. What do you say to that? Well, cause

like I bought a motor school while I was still in school. That was disappointing overpaid for it. What? No, the, the part about it was I've been told it like six months later because I wasn't writing it once I got out of school. Um, like I wasn't writing at all. So I sold it for like a $1,600 loss. I thought that was going to be the tipping point for him. Just like calling me a disappointment and he didn't call me a disappointment. So like, I don't know what else to do. What did he call you a dumbass? Pretty much. Yeah Well, I think there's The the fun doesn't stop there. I think just walk into the house. Okay, it's

Let's see here. I South Carolina, what's the temperature there right now? This is important for what I'm about to say It's like 97. I think it feels like it's 107. Perfect. Turn the air conditioning down to 61 degrees and, and wait for him to go out of town. In fact, and just turn it down to 61, like five hours before he comes back. So it's just an ice box in there. He's going to lose his mind. Yes. Yes, Charlie, just tamper with the thermostat. Yeah. Yeah. And leave your, you know, do it like dip your, uh, your finger in some black ink before. So he's got your prints and everything on it. Let's see here. I mean, you know, is your dad into like, what is your dad like to do? What's his favorite hobby? He likes to run he likes to run and he's from the Midwest

Punchline I've heard in a while my god. He's a Midwest dad who likes to run. Yeah You should tell your dad that we're disappointed in him. Yeah. My Lord. Well, that might be part of it. I ran in college and he was never a good time where he said good job to me, but I kind of expected like he never said a good job or that he was proud. There's always something to critique. Okay. Here's a normal. Here's a question though. This is a hypothetical. Like let's say you're you broke down on the side of the road and you called him and you said you needed help. Would he instantly come and help you? It depends on where I was. If I was like more than like 15 minutes away, probably not. Yeah. You really are the black sheep of the family aren't you?

How about your brother would he just drop everything go help him? So one I don't know I do the one I do talk to these landscapers You'd be like I got like former properties and I could be over there, but No one's dropping everything to come get me No, we've got a little what was me situation going on over there. So do you really, do you think, let me ask you this, why do you think your dad hasn't said

you're a disappointment yet? That's a great question. I know he doesn't typically spare feelings, but I guess this could be one that he's trying to spare. What if he actually doesn't typically spare feelings, but I guess this could be one that he finds fair. What if he actually doesn't think you're a disappointment? What if he sees you're 23 years old and you're figuring it out and he thinks, you know, he's gonna clean pools for a while

and he's gonna figure out that either he loves it and he's going to run the pool company or he's going to get the hell out of there and do his own thing. So maybe you're not a disappointment. I'm going to be honest with you, Charlie. I think the only reason why his dad hasn't said it yet is it his mom is keeping miles. I was trying to find another pathway here. He's trying to build them up. You know, you know, if I know anything about Midwest parents,

it's the dad always has, has the mom lurking over his shoulder. And that's what really keeps his true feelings from showing where is little slap in the back of the head, the back of the head slap is so real. I've separated. I live with my mom. OK, oh, never mind. Got it. The dynamic gets more complicated. Well, let me ask you something. Are you happy with where you're at in life or are you calling in? Because you're not exactly happy with where you are.

Oh, I feel like I could be a lot worse. Oh, yeah, you could. You got a job, dude. And you could be at a bar drinking fruity drinks in the middle of a Thursday afternoon, you know? So I see you got a real job. Yeah. Congratulations on that. Let us know if you're hiring over there. So what, what, what do you want to do? So I'm going back to school in August. Yeah. I'm starting back up and I'll start with a couple of classes. I got a retake and then I'll get clinical going. And I'm starting back up and I'll start with a couple of classes. I got a retake and then

I'll get clinical going and I'm looking to be a physical therapist assistant. That's great, man. I think it's cause your dad is seeing that you are trying. And if you can get that done, I think he'll, he won't call you a disappointment at all, but if you fail out of school, I think that that's maybe the best way to do it. So if you are looking for him to say your disappointment, just fail out of school and that should be the straw that broke the camel's back, you know? Yeah. Is, is he helping with it financially? No. Okay. Well, then I mean, you know, he did for the first degree, but it was kind of weird that he did because he didn't think I was going to make it through and he wait

and we told you that. Oh, so it was kind of a surprise when I graduated. So he kind of has said you're disappointed just without those words. Yeah. Maybe it's like what's keeping his disappointment at Bay is the thought of like, this guy keeps surprising me though. Every time I count them out, he somehow passes his classes and here we are. So I guess he's not a complete disappointment. Yeah. I, I, I, I graduated and then I was like, look, I graduated and he's like, yeah, but your GPA was not good. And I was like, okay, what was your GPA? We'll be the judge of that. It was like a, it was a three one, which I didn't think was terrible. Three one, you're cooking with gas dude. That's I mean, that's what I thought.

Yeah, he did not. Well, maybe your dad's got you got to just do you. You're twenty three. You're making your own money. You got to remember, here's something to remember. Midwest dads are just as broken as the rest of us. Yeah. You know, so don't put too much stock into his disappointment or approval. Just be like, you know, I love you, dad. And regardless of what you think

of me, I'm going to do my best. Right. That's really well said. Yeah. It was to the point where for the longest time I was seeking his approval. And then I was like, you know what? Why am I seeking his approval when I'm an adult? So let me just embrace the fact that I can't get his approval and see how far I can push that. You know what, sir? That is a very healthy thing for you to do. Yeah, I like that. You've gone past, you've cut the umbilical cord, so to say, and just

enjoy the time you have with your dad and not worry about his approval. I like that. I like it too. And whatever path you choose from here on forward, you'll know it's the path you wanted to do, not the path you were just doing to appease your pops. So it's probably going to be more in line with who you are and you know, could just be cleaning the pools. Nothing wrong with that, but you got to do you. Nothing wrong with that, but you gotta do you. Yeah, something like that.

I like when I feel like I'm giving heartfelt advice, you know, feeling like I'm doing there. Yeah, something like that. And he's clearly walking around not listening, you know? He's like fixing the squeaky door, you know? What the hell are you doing to that parakeet dude? I just put up to one of the properties, so I got a good. All right. All right. Well, we appreciate you calling in today. Don't worry about your dad.

He's he'll you'll figure it out. Let him run it off. Good luck in school. And thanks for calling in, man. Yeah, we'll talk to you soon. I think Michael. All right. Have a good one. Watch for dear tail as old as time, Charlie.

It is, by the way, miles before we jump in, I just got a smell of sunscreen. The coconut sun. I've smacked that as well. I just was transformed back to a swampy ass Florida afternoon. So that's just, that's just where the old factory senses went. It's like, uh, you know, uh, you may not know this, but on the, the golf masters tournament, they pump in bird noises to give you a more atmosphere on the TV. Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if this bar is pumping in sunscreen smell just to give you that extra vacation.

Because I'm looking around who's wearing it. There's no bikinis around here but it's like the it's like the NFL pumping in crowd noise. They're pumping in sunscreen smell at this bar and that's the little touch you're looking for. Yeah, it really is. It's a beautiful place. Well, hopefully that feller really takes to heart the thing that he said, which is actually the best advice of just keep doing you and you know, go get it. Should we take another call? Let's do it miles. You got Mike Mike here. Mike, what's going on? Dirty Mike and the boys are here.

What's going on? I'll just on only old lunch break here, man. Ooh, Mike, do you have a Southern accent? That's what they tell me. I don't seem to notice it, but I've heard that before. You sound like my uncle who moved from Wisconsin and he lived in Mississippi in Hattiesburg for like 20 years and he kind of sounds like you. Are you from the Midwest but moved to Mississippi?

Oh, no, born and raised here in Virginia Well, it was a nice try but that kind of makes sense because if you take Wisconsin accent puts Mississippi accent You probably get a Virginia. So belly up to the bar Mike. What's on your mind? so I got my son just turned three this year and Looking to get ready to take him on his first camping trip here in a month. Nice. And the, what the wife is all excited trying to plan this camping trip, but I don't really want her to go. So trying to break that off to her easily. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, Mike. Hang on. Hang on. You, you would prefer, you would rather

be alone in the woods with a three year old than have one other adult with you. We're going to have to dig into this. Why do you not want your wife to go on a camping trip with you? So it's not that I don't want her to go camping. I just want the first time me and my boy go camp. It was a thing me and my dad did growing up, went camping by ourselves all the time. And my son, Bo is my dude. So he listens to me. Well, I think you have a big time, but the problem is my wife, like even when we go fishing, constant stress ball, you know, don't let them get too close to the water. Yeah. I'm out here to relax. Put a warm on the, exactly. Yes. We're going camping. We're going to splash

around in the creek, do a little trout fishing, roast some hot dogs. And it's just everything we go to do is going to be, we'll be careful. Yeah. I've been raising him for three years. Nothing's happened yet. Okay. So you started off saying that you didn't want your wife to go because this was sort of a thing that you and your dad did. And then we got to the real issue pretty quickly there. You abandoned the, that's what you're going to tell your wife, by the way, that this is a thing, a tradition. You did it with your dad. You want to do it with your son. You want your son to do it with his son. That's the story you go with. Okay. Where your PR team do not veer from that story. If you

get to the truth, that's not going to end well for you, Mike. So that's the story I've been trying. Doesn't seem to be sitting in well. So we're having to go to go to another course of action here. Okay. All right. Let's, let's dive into it. What doesn't she like about camping? She loves camping bigger problems. Yes. But what about camping is her least favorite? Probably, probably the lack of AC at night. Okay. Cool. Start there. Just pick the hottest weekend of the year. Okay. Okay. We are coming up on August. We're looking at a couple weeks in August. It gets pretty toasty. Yep. Dog days of summer. Then you need to talk about how large the bear population has gotten and that they've grown for a flavor of human flesh. They like the smell of swass swamp at well, and then

she's going to freak out. Now bring the kid. Say you're camping in Florida. How does that sound? Oh, Lord, I'd be scared to go camping in Florida. I'm not the alligators and Python type of guy. Yeah. A lot of creepy crawlies there. Ooh, this is really tough. This is really tough. The bear population in our area has, has gone up pretty substantially in the last few years. Okay. Find an article about that. Just slipped that her way and yeah, no, no, don't send it her way miles. Even better. When she leaves her phone unattended, just start talking bear attack, Virginia bears, bears, bears. And then all of her Instagram posts are going to be about these bear attacks. I think another

way she's, she's pretty up to date on it. We actually, Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. No, you go ahead. I'll just say she's actually pretty up to date on it. We, we run a wild game processor in the fall. So she's, she's aware of how many bears are coming in and out every year. Yeah. Just say, Hey, sorry, honey. I don't know if you can come. We only have enough bear spray for me and the kid. All right. All right. Okay. Supplies. There's nothing you can do about it. You know, COVID really caused the supply chain issue with bear spray. It's a bear market for the bear spray. But I will say, I will say his wife, she's, she works at the processor. She loves to camp.

She's going to find ways around all of this stuff. I think, I think at this point, your only option, your wife has sort of a Ken do gal, like she is anyone who loves camping that much as a Ken do person. So any problem you throw her away, I'm getting the sense. She's going to find a solution for it. Do have a solution that may be nasty, but I think this might be our last resort. Charlie, we're going to do the old cloak and dagger situation. The cloak and dagger. You're going to whatever she likes to do. Well, that's a spa day, a shopping day, a trip to the hardware store. I don't care what she likes. You're going to be like, honey, I love you so much. I got you a massage at 2 PM and she's going

to be all excited. Soon as she backs out of that driveway, you guys load up for your camping trip and just head out of town miles. You could leave a note. All right. And then yeah, that's what we're going to ask. What if, what if we just got up early and left a note? Yeah. I think the question is, I like it. How much do you like your life? How much do you like? Oh, go ahead. I'll just say, don't we, how about we don't even mention camping. Just leave a note. Say me and Bo went fishing, be back in two days. Don't even mention camping. Yeah. Leave a range though. Like you'd be like, we'll be back in like two to seven days. Okay. All right. What would your wife do if you actually did that? What's her personality?

Would she be like, um, okay, that's, I get it. I mean, that's weird, but okay. Or would she freak out? Well, I don't know. I think where we're going to camp, but there's no cell phone service. So that sounds like a post-trip problem. That's, that was going to be my thought is that is a future you problem to deal with that. And you get to just enjoy the woods with your son. Well, and think of if we go out, we go out and we have a great time and he comes home and tells mom how much fun and y'all. And she can't be with so mad, right? No. And then on the way home, you got

to tell him, make sure you say you, you next trip you want her to come. Cause then she'll forget all about the anger of missing the first trip. It's like, Oh, he asked me to go on the next one. That's a great plan miles. That's and here's a backup plan before you go strap some TNT to your shed outside because you get back. She's mad at you. Just say, Oh, hang on, honey. I'll be right back. Go blow up the shed and then come back and be like, honey, the shed blew up. What did you do? What happened? And she'll be so distracted by the shed. She'll forget all about the fact that you love to do a diversion. Yeah. See, old blow up the shed method. It's a classic, you know, I'm not even mad about

that anymore. I'm just glad we're all safe. Yes, exactly. And do not put those explosives on your house. Okay. I don't have a shed. Start building a shed now. Yeah. This is a long game. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the shed out back is actually the meat process. That's the meat processor. So blowing that up takes about two thirds of our income out of the way. So I'm going to, we've got to come up with a different diversion. What if we use the barn, the barns close to is that too big? No barn is fine. Anything you want to get rid of even better. If you were thinking of flattening that barn, two birds with one stick of Tannerite, my guy stick of Tannerite. I don't know if they make sticks. I don't think they do, but I would stick a dynamite,

but Tannerite sounded more thinking where would I get TNT? You know, you're like put some TNT where would I, I don't know where to start to get a TNT. You go to Wisconsin off I 41 at the firework store. You asked for Frank. He's got them in the back. All right. Suppose you put enough of those gigantic like artillery shell firecrackers together. Just a little duct tape on those. Yeah, you'll be fine. So, yeah, there you go. Blow up your shed. You got you got me. What's it? You guys got many mines out that way in that part of the Midwest where they did a bunch of mining and stuff

It's more South Dakota. Probably. I don't know. I'm not well adverse in the mining community. Ah We got to some old quarries I was gonna say maybe you guys go do some digging and find find an old stick of TNT laying around somewhere there Yeah, that should be no problem. That's a good idea. You know, we know exactly where to look for that. Yeah. Yeah. We should we should get in the old GPS. Yeah. Yeah. We'll go out there with our little TNT detect. Find it. You can send the next day air belt to me. Oh, yeah. We'll just mail you that explosive.

That that's not a problem. Virginia. Sure. Well, I think we got a T.S. Not not too concerned about things. Virginia. Sure. Well, I think we got it. Yeah. Not too concerned about things. Yeah. So what, what route do you think you're going to take in this scenario after digesting a little bit of our advice? Well, I think I'm going to go probably combo here. I'll set the diversion up just in case. And then probably the note and bail ideal and future me can deal with it. And worse comes to worse, just tell her the truth. And you might not have this problem.

Don't do that. The truth will set you free. Don't be honest with her. That sounds like a mistake. Truth will set you free. It might cost you half that shed you got in the back, but it'll set you free. All right, well thanks for calling in Mike.

Hey, have fun with your son out there in the woods and hope you guys catch some trout and see some bears. All right, man, well I appreciate it. It was good talking to you guys. You betcha. Great talking to you too. Take care now. Dad, I think another person helped.

I mean, what are we here for? Miles, what is what could go wrong in his scenario? Nothing, dude. Nothing. Yeah. Oh, I should have told him to not forget to remove the dynamite from the barn if everything goes. Yeah. If he doesn't need to blow it. Yeah. Oh, so you got to make sure you blow all of it. You know, sometimes one don't blow and then you got a loose one hanging around on the ground. You know, you don't want that. Don't folks don't play with fireworks. Don't

disclaimer. Don't take Charlie's advice. Yeah. Is that enough to cover us? We can, I think so. Okay. Last Russell. Yeah. So we take another one. Let's do it. Charlie, you know, neighborhoods, right? I've heard of a neighborhood. Did you grow up in a neighborhood? Yeah, I did my own. So it, it was in fact a neighborhood. Well guess what? Charlie, you can make your neighborhood block party. Unforgettable with tippy cows, shamrock mint drink. Holy shmint. Imagine enjoying a cool, refreshing treat while mingling with neighbors and playing corn hole and Wisconsin or Minnesota. Just close your eyes. Imagine. Okay. I'm doing it. My house. Yep.

They're closed now. Party. You're playing cornhole. You're drinking the shamrock. Mitch Tippie cow. And whether you're hosting a block party or relaxing with friends to be cow brings a nostalgic twist to your summer fun. It's creamy. It's green and it's good. So Charlie, here's a toast. Here's to neighborhood block parties, friendly competition and the refreshing tastes of tippy cow shamrock mint. May your gatherings be as cool and fun as your treats. Cheers to making every block party. The best one yet. Holy miles. I came up with that. That's the top of my head poetry, man. Guys, guess who we have on the line. It is our favorite lawyer here in the Midwest. Mr. Russell Nicolay. How are you doing, Russell? I'm doing well. How about you fellas? Well, we can't complain.

We're over here at the Cormorant Pub in Minnesota in Cormorant, Minnesota. And it's good to talk to you again. Now it's beautiful weather out. Is it not Charlie? It is beautiful. I was just looking at the spelling. Cause when you first texted me in the pub, I thought you said Cormorant, which I was a big fan of that bird. But you know, now I realized it's Cormorant and I won't bring birds up on this podcast. I like your boat shoes, Miles. Nice to see you, Ross. So, yeah. Yeah, Russell, we're wondering with the beautiful weather out,

the cases that you're seeing on a day to day basis, are they seasonal? Do you see some things pop up, you know, more so in the winter or the summer, you know, maybe someone works at a Marina and there's a boat related accident that you have to work through. Is anything like that that you're seeing? Well, yeah, I mean, you see some boat stuff, some jet ski accidents in the summer, but really the motor vehicle stuff like the car accidents are way up because everybody's traveling, you know, it's especially on the holiday weekend, way up because everybody's traveling, you know, especially on the holiday weekends like the Fourth of July weekend, Memorial Labor Day.

Unfortunately, that's some of the worst cases. So that happens a lot in the summer. And then of course, you know, UTV side by sides are huge in the Midwest and people are more active in the summer, even though you can drive them all year round generally, but in the summer they're out trail riding and some folks having a few too many beers and that there's a lot of power in those side by side. So we see accidents with the side by side,

generally up on the trails in the Northwood. So with the side by sides should, is it effective like someone getting hit by a car, them colliding on the trail? Yeah, you would think that you'd see more of like the collisions on the trail because the trails are tight and those things are pretty big and powerful. And you know, when you're going on a corner or whatever,

but generally what we see is the driver causes a crash, like a one vehicle crash. And so it's often the passenger or passengers that get hurt pretty bad. They get thrown from the vehicle or whatnot or trapped. A lot of those trails are in the woods so they get trapped in between trees. It's some bad accidents because those things are quick and they're very powerful for a lightweight machine. And unfortunately, it's fun to go out and trail ride and have drinks here and there. But unfortunately, sometimes the driver likes to have more than a few drinks

and that plays a big role in, you know, going too fast, not being able to control the vehicle because those trails are tight. You know, you got to be really on your game with those things. Yeah. Good reminder. Yeah. If you take your vehicle and you put it against a tree, the tree is more than likely going to win that battle. So that's a good life lesson. Stay away from those trees.

The other good life lesson, Charlie is don't drink and drive. Don't drink and drive. Get a good designated ATV driver that you trust. Yes. And cause I, they usually go out saying, yeah, I'm not going to drink, but then you're at the bar and you're like, oh, and now you're drinking. Don't get in there. ATV that maybe Charlie is an opera business opportunity side by side Uber.

Yeah. Super. Yeah. That sounds too close to Subaru. Yeah, it does. Something. We'll find it. We'll find it. That is a genius idea. We'll have you do our partnership agreement documents. I know that's not really your scope, but I think that Charlie and I are onto some here. Yeah. And I think we need some written in, in ink, you know, cause we, I don't know how

much we trust each other at this point. Whatever you put in front of us, Russell, we will sign without reading it. Yes. Thousand percent guaranteed. Yeah. You could, you could just get on a bar nap. That'll work too. That actually would be cool. A bar napkin might be the only contract I'd ever read though, but also not great to have a bar napkin as the contract for a company that's trying to eliminate drinking and driving and ATV. This is true. Yeah. It'll be a restaurant napkin. We got to think about the right story to tell. But well, thanks for calling in Russ. I think interesting thing. Charlie and I don't know much about the legal world, but great reminder for all.

I know a lot of our fans have ATVs and four-wheelers and keep it between the trees and don't drink and drive. Exactly. And if someone else does, sue the hell out of them. That's what I'm talking about. 1-855-NICOLAY, baby. Yeah, I'd say, man,, you know, I want to prevention goes a long way so you can find that driver that's gonna stay sober or you know, just have a beer or two.

That's the best thing you can do. So you get everybody else can go out and have a good time, you know, riding the trails, having beers at the local bars and get some food, good things, but just make sure the drivers sober or under the legal limit so that you can survive to have another ride. Because the trees always win. I've never seen a tree lose to one of those and the accidents can be bad. So yeah, just have a good time and be responsible. Well, there you heard it folks. Drive safe, drink responsibly and watch for deer. Because if you get hit by a deer, I hate to say it,

it's tough to sue God. Nick Laylaw can't even win in a lawsuit against God. So watch out for him. We can win a lot, but not those ones, you're right. That's a hard one. Yeah. Thanks for calling in, man. Keith. Keith.

From Lubbock. Lubbock, Texas. How y'all? Lubbock, Texas. How y'all doing? Doing good. What's your favorite song about Lubbock, Texas? Oh, I got to go with the Dixie Chick song, Lubbock or Leave It. All right.

Classic. Classic. Yeah, he's on it. What's your second favorite song about Lubbock, Texas? I mean, I guess I'll go with the Co-West the one. Okay. I don't know that one. We'll listen to it on the right. Popular down here. Can you sing it?

Hell no. All right. All right. What's on your mind? I got the voice for that. You got a nice draw on you, Keith. What's on your mind, my guy? Well, so being in Lubbock, it's college town, you know, sex is second off. My buddies and I, we love to tailgate before those football games.

And I'm just trying to figure out how can, how can we bump up our tailgate? What we're doing this year or what we started doing last season and this season, what we're going to be doing again is we actually started setting up a poker table out there. Wow. But you know, we're trying to figure out more things to do. All right. Well, Keith, let me just say right off the top, I appreciate your ambition with a poker table, but you, right off the top. I appreciate your ambition with a poker table, but you, more than anyone should know it gets windy places and that's cards go flying before you start with poker before you know, you're playing 52 pickup. Have you had that problem yet? Not yet. No, I mean, there, there was one game that we knew it was going to be windy.

So we avoided it. But for the most part, when they're where we set up, it's pretty blocked by building. So we're usually don't have that problem. How did the poker go over? Did people love it? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I'll brag. I'll say I came out on top for the most part, but even, even the losers were having a good time. I like that. Um, why? I mean, the first thing that comes to mind for me, Charlie is just, let's beef this thing up. Let's do it. My already you've already started down a path. Just continue on. I think you need to turn your tailgate into a casino. That's a great idea. My not a bad idea. Crab stable, blackjack roulette. I mean, why stop at poker?

Why stop at poker? But miles, I think what we need to do is we need to blend the casino with your traditional tailgate games. So get yourself some testicle toss and put dollar signs on each level of it. Do a little drunk Jenga, okay? And then on each of the discard things that you pull out, those you can put little cards on

and then you can be playing a game of war with the cards you get from the thing that you pull out. Yeah, you could. It's two games on one there. That's great. And then miles, what, what drinking game could he play blending the casino mindset drinking game? Well, hold on with a buzzer. Are you in the car? Hello. We got them. Oh, hello. Are you going through? We were, we were going to ask you the same thing. Sounds like your air compressor just lost its horse. Hello. Yeah. I lost you. We're we're here. All right. You guys show up through time or something.

I don't know. Okay. We're back. So drinking game. And remind you, it doesn't matter what games we play out there. Well, that's Cornell, giant Django, whatever. This is a casino. So there's just betting going on around it, right? Set up a, you know a classic card table, play some flip cup and everyone that's watching will put a wager on one side of the table or not. And that's how you get some money flying around. Yeah, there's a lot of, Oh yeah. Get a little, get a little, I'll just like get a little sports book of the, of the tailgate games going. And speaking of sports book, you better be bringing along your portable big screen, okay?

Because I know you're there for one game, but there are other games happening, and you, my friend, are collecting bets on those. Yeah. Okay? Oh, for sure, for sure. I'm thinking at least two to three big screens, a little row of couches around them. And by couches, I mean, you know, those sort of flipper seats that you put out. Well, yeah, the stadium seating just do what all the college kids do.

Take some cinder blocks and plywood and stack them on top of each other. And you put one couch behind the other and stair step it up a little bit. That's true. And another hack for that is go to the grocery store. Look where they throw out the pallets and take your truck over there. Steal yourself from the pallets. That's great stadium seating material right there. Charlie and make sure you're getting a piece of all this. We got plenty of lawn chairs and plywood. So we've built up some contraptions. Good. Yeah. And I think the other thing that what really gives me casino vibes is if people can smoke. So have cigarettes laying around and just have people lighting up darts while they're

playing around because nothing screams casino like trying to see your slot machine through a cloud of smoke. Exactly. And do not forget about the eye in the sky. You've got to have one guy there. I don't care how hot is't care how hot it is. He's in a full suit, sunglasses on, earpiece, and he's watching every dealer.

What do they call those guys? Like the pit boss. Yeah. You got a pit boss, and it would be even better if the pit boss was in charge of the pit boss. Or of the, what's the, that's a, that's a type of grill. So you got a pit boss in charge of the pit boss. Okay. Whoever's manning the grill needs to be in a full suit with an earpiece in. Yup. And he needs to

be watching everyone and the grill. And it's a tough job. Okay. But someone's got to do it. You'll find them. You think we're missing anything in this casino? Yeah. No, no. What do y'all think about how do we get some pool tabs going too? That would be another fun thing. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Do you guys have pull tabs in Texas? Well, Texas doesn't have them. So it'd be fun to introduce them. Okay. Well, we just found a new market, Charlie. We're going to have to get into some legislation. I don't know how that works. No, we first, we do it like the way the tech companies do it, make it so popular that you can just pay for the lawyer or just do it like they used to do in the roaring twenties.

Just bootleggers and rum runners, you know, miles. What if you turn your merge operation into a pull tab printing operation, just start printing these pull tabs? And then I can have Tyler just take the truck and run them down south. Yeah, I mean, that's exciting. That's good. And so we got your pull tabs locked and loaded.

They're on the way. Miles will send you down, what, one, two million? And then you gotta remember this. You need someone for all the gamblers there. You gotta have cocktail waiters and waitresses coming around, giving free drinks if you're gambling. The more they're gambling, the more money that's going in your hand.

So keep them drinking. The more they're drinking, the more they're gambling. The more they're drinking, they're gambling. What did I say? You just said the more they're gambling, the more they're gambling. Did I really say that? It said the more they're gambling, the more they're gambling. Did I really say that? It doesn't matter.

Yeah, well, you get the idea. So, yeah, Keith, that's where we got locked and loaded here. Now, Charlie, my one thing we need to maybe workshop is if he's opening up a casino in the parking lot, there's going to be a lot of heat from the local authorities maybe wondering what's going to be a lot of heat from the local authorities maybe wondering what's going on. So what's a good way for them to maybe keep it on the down low? You bribe the police. You bribe the police and what you're going to do is do not throw

away any shoe boxes anymore. Okay. That's where you're going to stuff the money and you'll have plenty of cash. You're going to be cash full on this. And so you break off a little piece. Everyone gets a taste, okay? Take it over to the sheriff. Let him get his beak in there, all right? You get that beak wet, he's giving you a pass. He'll even put a cop on a horse out there to make sure no one messes with you guys.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you tip everyone. Well, anyway, Keith, I think we gave you some good tips there. All right. So let us know if how it goes. We want to see the, the first week we want Charlie. This is our prototype. So if it goes well down in love at Texas, yeah, we'll replicate. Yeah. Then we can really scale that's this business up exactly so Charlie each Charlie

and I each want 15% to by the way Yeah It's gonna have to be 50 each so 30% off the top. That's that's nothing. That's just the cost of doing business Keith What do you say? Great, okay. All right. I went 15. I was willing to go to 10, but I know took it at 15. I always know when you go 15, are you going, but you know, I like the way you negotiate miles. That's why we make a good team. There we go. Well, we appreciate you calling in today, man.

Well, I appreciate you boys. I'm going to, I'm going to get back to water and some greens out here on the golf course. Oh, that's what you do. Oh old, old. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Let's dry out here. So they need it. All right. Well, watch out for the golfers and the golf. Oh, there's plenty of them out here. All right.

Have a good one. See you Keith. Y'all too, boys. I mean, I wish he would have let in with that. He would know golf course. That's exactly what I was saying. If all this crumbles to the ground, I'm just go water grass at the at the golf course yeah you got a real you got a real hard on for landscape and you were telling me I do I do is just nothing

nothing gets me going like a well landscaped piece of land. That's so funny. It's it's so funny because nothing annoys me more than a more than a well land. Why? Why does that annoy you? I don't. It just it looks I don't like it. I don't like because I I think I might have. What's the point? It looks beautiful. I like wild grass type stuff. Why can't there be good landscaping with wild grass?

Well, I haven't seen it. I know. So you just haven't seen a good landscaping. You know what? Maybe that's true, Miles. Maybe we both learned a lesson here today. What's that? It's that you can't judge a landscape by its cover crop.

Yeah, sure. Sure. Or by previous landscaping. You know what I like? I would like to see more clover. Clover is so nice to walk on. Well, and you don't have to mow it as you never have to. Why isn't on all clover? Let's do it. Why don't you? Okay. Why don't you put your money where your mouth is, Charlie? Why don't you dig up your lawn and plant clover grass grass instead I do have clover on my grass Okay, I do I will shut the F and I didn't I didn't plant it there just kind of happened there It's just when you never

Take care of your lawn. That's what happens. It is nice to walk on though squishy anyways All right folks. Well, hey, thanks for bellying up to the bar with us. Um, here in this beautiful, exotic location, miles finishes drink immediately. I still got about a third left to go. Charlie, you need a nipple for that drink. I mean, apparently I do miles. Apparently I do. I got two straws instead. Well guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast. Remember to tip your bartender and we will see you in the next one. Bye bye.