Bellied Up - Husband Has Road Rage #89

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

What to bring to a potluck? The first caller has a husband who hates driving in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and needs tips on how to calm him down. The next caller is a boss for a hard-working crew and wants to know how to toe the line of hanging out with his workers outside of work. The last call is a Bellied Update: Carlene calls in (from Episode 44) to give us an update on her love life and parents. Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Myles' other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Betcha Radio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Charlie's other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cripescast

Welcome back folks to the belly it up podcast. We're here in Fargo at the VFW once again. Charlie, I'm sitting in front of the space force. I always wanted to be part of the space force miles. I wonder if I get a shot. I mean, you're already a space cadet. So I am. Yeah, I'm already out there. You know, you think of all the money we're spending, you know, we should be putting it, you know, out there in space, you know, because I tell you what, man, you should be putting what out in space. Well, you know, if we're part of the simulation, I think someone's going to come back in to check on their little Petri dish and that's us. And I think we should be ready. You know, like, you know how we're afraid of robots,

like going after us, we should be ready to go after, like, you know how we're afraid of robots, like going after us, we should be ready to go after the people who made us. So you're saying that beyond our galaxy is outside of the simulation. Yeah. I mean, they created our galaxy. That was the big bang. Like two guys playing this really complicated video game and they're like Sims right there, but they call it earth. You know, and now they're, they're looking at us and see if I had to bet though, the simulation is the entire universe could be, could be, but that's where Santa Claus comes from. He sees you when he's sleeping. He knows when you're awake. That's East guys. They

got these telescopes that can see through walls. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, little look into how Charlie views the world. Well, I'm not viewing the world. Those guys are. Okay. He's very true. Yeah. Um, so anyway, Miles, where do we go from here? I would say what I want to talk to you today is a little bit about potlucks. Oh, that's a good. A good potluck. What do you think? Hey, you know, listen, if you get the invite to the potluck, that's a lot of pressure. Because what do you bring? That would be my question is, Charlie, if you're bringing something to a potluck, what

are you bringing? I got to be honest to the miles. I'm going to cop out and say, I'll bring the beer. I gotta, I got, and I know it's a cop out because it's, that's not part of the potluck. Everybody knows you got to bring something else. So I might, I would, I, I'm probably going to go to the grocer and pick up some that looks tasty, come back home, put it in my own Tupperware and then pretend like I'm smart. Mm hmm. Yep. I am going to bring whatever and decides we're going to bring. See that's that's that's not out that me. I haven't made a decision on a pot. Luck in a while now.

Are you good at cooking miles? Um, I'm right in the middle. What can you cook? Like I understand that we need to put spices and do sauces and how some ingredients work together. Sure. But I'm not doing anything crazy. What was the last thing you cooked? Uh, salmon last night. Good for you. A little coarse salt on top is about all it needs. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. That little, little peppering. That's good. Good for you, man. I like that. Little cucumbers and garlic. Oh, try that. It's pretty good. Yeah. Benefits of cucumbers taste like garlic. You know, is that what I try and do is put a lot of garlic on my stuff. Yeah, that's nice. And must love that. Yeah. A lot of teeth brushing after dinner,

you know. Yeah. Um, now I would say what is your favorite? You're maybe not bringing it, but what's your favorite food at a pond? Look, because I got mine in my head. So not a pond luck because I got mine in my head. So I really, I'm a, I'm a deserts guy. I will get after like the scotch ruse. I'll get after, you know, special K bars, whatever. I don't know where you fall on that argument. I forget. I'm a scotch ruse. Okay. That's right. And also like dream bars and they got the cookies there and I let someone once brought a bunch of pre-made s'mores to a potluck like I mean custom Primo s'mores now they weren't warm which kind of defeats the purpose But it was they made like cookies like it all stuck together. I don't know how they did.

They must have put a little like that spray glue on it to get it to stick good and it was tasty. What's yours? I would say I like a crock pot full of meatballs and it's what kind of saw, you know, like the one the same sauce goes on the little weenies. Yeah. What is that sauce? Yeah. It's, um, no, it's, uh, not cocktail. It's cocktail sauce. It's, it's the same sauce they

put on shrimp. It's like barbecue. It's like barbecue cocktail sauce. Barbecue cocktail mixture. Yeah. Whatever it is, I love it. You know what? I love it when they give you a toothpicks to get them out of there too. I, I kind of want to change my answer to that. That's how much I like that answer. I kind of forgot about that sauce until you just brought it up, which means I have not been to a proper potluck in a long, long time, maybe months. So anyway, I'm glad that we had that miles. I'm glad we, glad we this is why I like just getting together with you as I think about things I haven't thought about in a while. That's good, Charlie. Well, that being said, should we have an audio pot luck with some callers? I would love that.

I'll bring the beer and I'll bring the questions. I love it. Let's take some callers. Welcome to the belly up podcast. Who do we have the pleasure of chit chatting with today? Hi, this is Janie. Hi, Janie. All right. I was just a my kids are home for school for snow day. I was making them lunch. Oh, what'd you make them? I'm going to run away for a second. You're making You're having snacks for lunch. Everyone's favorite. Got some beef sticks, cheese,

a little apple slices, a little kid's charcuterie board is what it sounds like. Yeah, it's like a DIY lunchable. I like it. Elevated. That's great. Well, why don't you belly up to the bar with us?

Tell us what's on your mind, Janie. All right. So I was calling because I got blessed and love my husband, but we have been having some problems discussing whether or not he is a good driver. And he is very particular and feels like he's doing everything by the book, like very textbook, like would pass the DMZ test every time. But that kind of makes him feel like he's better than everybody else. And so every time we're in the car, he's always making these kind of off-handed comments about, oh, these drivers, the drivers and the two falls are terrible and all this kind of stuff.

So I'm not really sure how to talk to him about it without losing his ego or, you know, making it kind of an issue. I just kind of wanted to get your guys' opinions about how to broach the subject. Well, we all know a guy like this. Yeah, you are not alone. Yeah. What should we call these guys? Is there a name we can call these guys, Miles? We'll find it if we don't have it. We'll find it along the way. Miles, set this up. Lay the groundwork for this. Okay. So your husband thinks he's a great driver, thinks everyone else is a bad driver. What about what he does when he's driving that you think is annoying slash what you think and a lot of these guys

are doing. So, and I know that there is some merit to some of the stuff that he gets frustrated about. I don't know why in specifically in two falls, there's a lot of left hand drivers. It seems like everybody likes to really just go the exact speed limit and the left hand lane. So that'll be a good situation where he'll just like, zoom up really, not your tailgate. We'll get real close, just outside tailgating and then whip around and really fast. And then get right back in front of them and not necessarily cut them off, but. But. Much cut them off.

Does he tap on the brakes? Just a scotch? Just does he zoom in? Zoom? He has definitely done that. So yeah, I mean, he said he thinks he could pass the DMV test every single time. I don't think the DMV wants you to zoom it up and zoom in around people all the time. I will agree with you on that. Okay, so he's... Another thing is like the... So the left-hand drivers and the lack of zipper merging

in Sioux Falls is probably our biggest hot point. You know, like in the summertime, when there's lots of construction, down to the single lane, like nobody here zipper merges. So everybody is getting over super early. And so he'll go to the end, right? You know, to the merge point and then just, you know, get over and that also, you know, does affect local folk here. Yes.

So I'll explain what's going on. Do you know what zipper merging is, Charlie? Oh, yeah. I mean, I lived in LA for a bit. That's the only way you were going to get off. So for those that don't know what zipper merging is, basically you are supposed to stay in two lanes as long as you possibly can. And then at the last moment, you go every other car and basically one after another merges. That is not how the world works. I hate to say it. I know that that is the way that it's supposed to be, but it is would not be very Midwest of drivers to be basically going all the way to the front of the line instead of getting in line. Do you know what I'm saying, Charlie? Exactly. A midwesterner is going to want to move over, even though it may take them longer,

even though it may slow down the flow of traffic, there is this anxiety of not wanting to upset anyone when you get to, because you're getting close to the point of no return at the split of that exit. And then if you get there, that's so much anxiety, you might have to be very rude to somebody and cut somebody off at the end. That's enough anxiety to get people merging over way earlier than they should. Yeah, you want to you want to cut some off someone off way before you need to so that they don't get offended. Exactly. Now the way your husband is doing it is he is just bolting down there. And then at the last possible moment, he's like, Oh, they're moving. Let me guess. He's got a big truck.

We have an expedition. It's older. And then we also have, we both work from home. So we share we just run a rotate. We have the going around town car and then the road trip hauler. So the expedition is more of the road tripper. So a lot of this stuff does happen on the road trip because you know, if it's 14 hours or less, we're driving. So what other is what are some of the stuff that he says about other drivers? That they don't know what they're doing that they're dumb that they're terrible drivers is usually what what we say to the point where my picture-old son has picked up on this and He'll be in the back seat when it's just me and him

driving like when I'm picking up on school and he'll, you know, we'll get to a stoplight or something. And my son and son in the back seat will just go, Oh, these two balls drivers, they're just terrible. They're just the worst. Why aren't they going? They need to turn. I'm like, cause it's a red light, buddy. There's nowhere we can go. Okay. So, you know. I think I found where you're in here to change your husband's habits because I have a feeling that, you know, you just telling him what to do on this

is gonna probably open up a can of worms in the marriage and it's, you know, may not be the most effective, may not be the quickest way, but if you say that we have to do this for our son, maybe that's a different avenue. Does your husband ever swear when he is driving? Oh, he's pretty good about not. We actually, kind of a small funny story is one of our many road trips. He was trying not to swear and it was, you know, one of those situations, the person in front of him was going too slow or maybe, you know,

maybe someone in front of him cut him off to a certain point. And instead of swearing, he said, holy buckets. And my son bought that, his three for the time. Thought that was very funny and started this. But instead of saying, holy buckets, my son started saying something that rhymes with it. Holy buckets. Honor. Is that what he said? He said.

Yeah. That's exactly what he said. And it was in his little pure four year old voice. He was like, oh, okay. So even our best attempts at not wearing, uh, have maybe not always gone as planned, but, um, does tend to keep it PG. So that's good. I mean, I was going to say use your son as a reason for him to chill out, you know, like, like, uh, what's your son's name? No, he's proud that his son talks.

I know, I know. That's not going to work. Well, I know it's not son's name? No, he's proud that his son talks like that. I know, I know. That's not gonna work out. Well, I know it's not gonna work, but you know, it's almost like you're saying it's transcending into other areas. It might also be part of his DNA that he passed on. Yeah. Yeah, you know, as the mom and the wife,

that's kind of where I'm seeing where it's, seeing that somebody advice I wanted to get from you guys is, you know, not necessarily, uh, Oh, maybe you can't change old habits, but maybe presenting new ones from forming. Now I do have one, uh, I do have one suggestion to maybe help with your husband's attitude. He thinks that he's the best driver, but it sounds like he's not always following the rules of the road he's following the rules that he thinks should be on the road and

What you could do is you could every time you're riding in the car with them You're gonna need a clipboard You're gonna need a piece of paper and you're gonna need a pen and every single time he violates One of the rules of the road that he thinks isn't that big of a deal, you mark him down. And then after about a month of doing this, you're gonna have a whole list of evidence of why maybe he should knock himself down a notch because he's not the best driver out there. Oh, I like that idea. Maybe I can get my, uh, my son on board with this. He likes to like help

out make list. Oh yeah. Yep. Teach him arithmetic, adding up all of the violations, stuff like that. It's a now family exercise. I like that idea, Miles. Can I ask you, Jamie, is your husband a tall man? I would say he's average height. How tall? How tall is he? I would say 60. See, he's six foot. So you know what you can say whenever he's like getting mad at the road, you can, you can like, you can kind of turn it on him a little bit. Like, you know, you're acting like a guy who's five foot 11 right now.

Oh, that would definitely get under his skin. He's, he's got a little, whenever you get mad at another driver consistently, you got a scotch of a Napoleon complex you're dealing with. You think you're better than everyone. You're unleashing some stress from your life where you can't be the bigger person and you put it in the comfort of your own car where you can be the biggest guy in the room. So just say, you know, you're acting like a guy who's five foot 10 right now and then keep lowering the height and no offense to anyone who's five 10, but you know, your husband will be offended. You know what I like to do? What's that is if someone, cause there's nothing more uncomfortable than being a passenger with someone with road rage, right? It's kind of like a guy. I don't think that that's that big of a deal. You know, it's kind of in your head.

But then when you have road rage, you feel totally justified. And I think a good thing you could try out is let's say someone in his mind, cut him off. Let's just say what you need to present to him is go, yeah, they're probably having a rough day. They're probably their grandma probably died. And then he's gonna instantly be like, well, I can't get mad at someone who's possibly had their grandma died or they just got fired from their job they worked at for 20 years.

They're just maybe having a bad day. And I think that's another great one. Now, if your husband takes the opposite response than what Miles think, like if you're like, oh, your grandma might have died and your husband goes, well, good, because if she wasn't, I'd kill her myself. You know, if he does that, what you then have to do is a mirroring exercise. You want to mirror him. So you want to be twice as loud as him in the deal. He's going to think you're basically going to show him how ridiculous he sounds, and then you're going to have him telling you to chill out. So almost if you get twice as mad as him or

frankly, just as mad at him, he'll see how frigging annoying it is. Because when you're mad, you're not thinking about that. But when someone else is mad, it's annoying as hell. Yeah. I think that's a great, if all this fails, you need to be the one with more road rage more often to get him to realize it. Right, Charlie? What we want is your husband to calling this podcast saying, you know, my wife, Jamie, she just won't chill out in the passenger seat. It's driving me nuts. What do we do? And then we'll tell him the exact same advice and you guys just keep calling in until there's no roof left on your car. You got convertible because you've blown your top so many times.

I mean, I have been looking at an Audi TT so it's a good strategy. Okay. You know, get a little, get a little something. Your husband's gonna be pissed at us for suggesting to buy this convertible. Um, what do you think? He's the one who wants it. I'm the one who raised it over here. Do you think you got it in you to lose your mind a few times over the minor inconvenience?

You know, I do have a three year old and a six year old, so I am pretty good at holding all of that in. I can just let it maybe build, build, build, and instead of letting it on the children, I could let it out on the road rage. I want you to... This could be like cheap therapy for me. Yes, I want you to channel every time those kids write with crayons on the wall. I want you to think about every single time they spilled their milk on the ground. I want you to think about all those times you wanted to pull your hair out and let it out on the road. Every single time they took a number two and left it on the seat. Every single

time, you know, and here's what we can do right now. We can do a little exercise. We can. Yeah. So I you want to give this a go. Are you in a safe space? Are you in a closet within within a room? I have an office. Okay. All right. All right. So I'm your husband right now and you are in the passenger seat and I'm the other car. All right. All right. We are at a four way stop. All right. Come on. Go. Go the hell are you doing? Go. You know what? I'll go. This guy's just an idiot. No, no, I'm going. No, he's going. Oh, for God's sake. You know, what are we doing here? What are we doing? Honestly, what's going on with these guys?

Right now. I mean, I can't even believe it. Why didn't they go? I just don't understand. Can you even handle this? I can't handle this right now. Roll the window down. I'm reaching over. I'm hoping to learn. Okay. You know, actually he probably just didn't mean to do that. You know, I mean, he looks like he's, he's a slow, slower guy. He's in a, an old Buick. So maybe, you know, his wife just died. Yeah. Maybe, honey, maybe his wife just died. We should give him the benefit of the doubt. You know, that was actually pretty good. Flowers. Oh, she's still going. You're good at that. Yeah. I think that you got your answer

right here right now. Yeah. Double is energy. All right. All right. You know, I was really just kind of probably channeling some of the things that I've heard before. He was on the hard drive. Well, uh, how did that feel, by the way? Uh, my heart rate, though, honestly, it was a little, it was a little stressful. I'm a very, very passive person, but it did feel part of it did feel a little sad, maybe because it's not real. Well, I think that, yeah, that's good. I mean, you're so good. You could, you could be an actress, you know, I can tell you got that in you.

Yeah. Maybe I missed my calling. Hey, maybe you still find it. And Charlie, maybe we missed our calling on being therapists. Maybe we did. I think we just made her feel better. And I think that she dealt with some inner demons there in that moment. Yeah, I felt one come out, you know? And that's good. Get them demons out. Well, what do you think? You gonna try that approach? You guys gave me a lot of really good options.

I think I will probably start with the, maybe the list making on the side and, uh, get my son involved. So then maybe we'll maybe do more of like a, an intervention. And if that doesn't work, then I know I've got a solid backup plan, which is letting the rage out. All right. If you let that rage out, you got to film it the first time you do it and send it to us.

I will, I would pay so much money to see that. Yeah. What the buckets is going on. Have your son filming the back. Hold me to that. There we go. All right. You guys are the best. Thank you so much for taking the time. Thanks for calling in. Hopefully, hopefully if you're in Sioux Falls, you won't get cut off. Oh yeah. We're definitely not going to cut off any explorers or was it expedition expedition, same church, different car. Cool. Well, thank you for calling in and watch for deer. Tell your husband to watch for him too. You know,

the last thing you want to do in swearing at a deer. Will do. Thanks, guys. Bye bye. Well, Miles, we found it in there. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. It was tough for me not to reveal I am somewhat of that husband at times. Why didn't you reveal that? Because I then she would, you know, start yelling at me. What? But now this is an eye opening experience for me, you know, thinking how ridiculous I sound. Yeah. And all that. So I mean, I know it's tough for a guy like

you. I mean, you're five foot 11. You want to be six foot your whole life and it's, it's just tough to. I don't know what you're talking about. So we take another call. Let's do it. Welcome to the belly up podcast. Who are we chit chatting with today? Oh my lord. I'm alive. My name's Paulo. You can call it powder. How you doing? Doing good, pal. Doing good. My guy. Oh, Hey, big fan. Where are you today? Well, we're at the VFW in downtown Fargo. If you want to stop by, where are you at? Well, I'm calling you from Washington, the state, the other Washington. Oh, Washington state. Well, I don't think you're going to make it over here today too far of a drive. Yeah. But why don't you? I'm ashamed to admit it to you boys, but I actually

am a Midwestern. You're not going to like it. I'm from Chicago. Ah, pal. I'm surprised you're admitting that to us on this podcast, but we'll let it slide. It's okay. We'll let slide. Why don't you belly up to the, I have pride in where I'm from, you know. Yeah. You can't help where you're from, but uh, Paul, why don't you belly up to the bar and let us know what's on your mind. Yeah. Okay. Um, well, I, uh, nice to be up at the bar with you boys. Um, yeah, I got this new job like three months ago. That's what brought me out to Washington. And yeah, I have five employees.

I've never been a boss before. I've never had a single employee. And I'm looking for some tips on how to navigate that experience. They want to come off as a hard ass, but also don't want to get locked out a little bit. And, you know, don't know even if it's appropriate to have a beer with some of them afterwards.

Some of them are pretty young. That's a tough one. And you're talking to both Miles and I and Miles is a better boss than I am, I'm pretty sure. Well, that depends on who you ask, you know? If you ask me, absolutely. If you ask my employees, I don't know if they'd say the same. Yeah, I don't know. It's a, it's a tough one. I've had a hard time with figuring that whole situation out. Cause yeah, you want to be the good guy. You want to be a fun guy,

but at the end of the day, you know, that's just multiple fun guesses. And I don't know where to go from there. So, uh, my first question for you is what is, what is your current approach? How are you currently approaching it? Well, I'm pretty hands off. So, it's kind of a unique job in that I have a bunch of bosses of my own, basically, but the main goal since it's a youth-oriented job is that people don't quit. It's a job training program, so I kind of, they don't want to learn that day. And I don't really push them too hard to do it because we work outside. It's pretty darn cold right now.

And if they're like feeling lazy, the last thing they need is someone chirping at them. So I'm pretty hands off and like for, for some of them that works most of the time. Oh, you're saying it works most of the time. For some of them that works most of the time. Oh, you're saying it works most of the time? For some of them. I mean, I think we're at like a level, but I feel like I'm not giving them what they need to get even better, because it is job training. And I want to be like, I want to inspire them to want to work

harder, but no one really cares if they do work harder and ask because we're a job training program. Yeah. So it sounds like the problem is, is you are leaning more on the side of trying to be buddies with them and they're not getting a lot of shit done. Sometimes that's the problem. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. His explicit goal is that they don't quit. So I'm still confused. Yeah. You're a job training program. I don't get this. I'm do you get exactly what they do? No.

Yes, it's a little convoluted. It's a little complicated. So we were with the we're with the Merit Corps. So they're their conservation. We're a conservation corps. So I'm you know I'm beholden first and foremost to my government department but then we contract with another government department so they're just sound for like 11 months of national service me I'm the permanent so the whatever shit always rolls on it always goes up hill in this case, so it lands on me.

But for them, we just got to get them through 11 months to be compliant with their grant. Okay, but I'm gonna be honest. I'm more confused now than I was before. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, why do you care if they, if they quit? Like what it sounds like the only person motivated for them to not quit is you. And I mean, do they don't get paid a lot in AmeriCorps, right?

Is a stipend or something? Right. Yeah. They do okay, but it's not, you know, it's not better than they'd get paid at a restaurant or somewhere where they'd work a lot. But we're supposed to give out a certain amount of scholarships at the end of the year. So, you know, is there a reflection on the essentially if we can't get a whisper to give out with a certain amount of scholarship at the end of the year. So it's you know, it's a reflection on the essentially if we can't get in over the finish line, even though, you know, people got whatever they have going on and they quit for whatever reason.

But yeah, that's, you know, we are my success is making people, I get over that finish line. Well, that's pretty ass backwards. You know, So I think to kind of go back to your question here. I think the first thing I'd say is you're not their friends. You're their boss and you can hang out with them on the job site. When you have them doing their job correctly is what I would say kind of, I think you need to be more of a hard ass. Yeah. All right. What are some hard ass kids? Miles, you sound like you got experience doing that. Um, you need to not give them any direction and then get mad when they do it wrong. Okay.

So that one, I'm actually pretty good at, you know. I gather. I don't know what the hell I'm doing either. Yeah, I gathered that because after you explain what you do, I was more confused. So you're already got that box checked. And I think if they ever complain about anything or ask you something, you know, this is a government deal. So I think you should just tell them, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

And just keep repeating that. Very enough. Well, I'll tell you the biggest headache. I kind of love it, to be honest, but it's, I don't know what the hell they're talking about. You know, someone on my crew is like, I've got people who are teenagers working under me and I have no idea what they're talking about. Oh, 90 percent of the time. So I think dropping platitudes like that is probably my best move.

Yeah. I think using the term punk a lot with the teenagers, you know, you think there's some hot punk over there when I need you to be doing this instead. Now, hang on. I want to back it up just a little bit. Did you ever see the dark night? I promise this is going so the beginning of dark night, right? Is the Joker has this whole crew robbing this bank. And as soon as someone finishes their job, they kill the guy and it gets all the way down till it's just the Joker at the top of it. So you are in this deal where they are giving you the directive, you need to not let anyone quit. My question is, does your boss have the same directive? And should you be telling you, should you be threatening your boss that you're going to quit? And so and tell them that I got to keep these people

happy. So then you can have your boss working for you. Because if you quit, your boss is that you're gonna quit and so and tell them that I gotta keep these people happy so then you can have your boss working for you because if you quit your boss is gonna get the axe. Yeah if only it were because my boss, their employees are you know folks relying on an income that yeah like I can have this job for the rest of my life if I wanted to so I kind of got a got a kiss But up the ladder, but it's a lot of it's a lot of learning the right way to ask for things So what are you worried about if they're not gonna fire you? What are you worried about? Why do you care what happens? Well then? Well, I'm probationary employees still for another several months if I lose folks

I might get you know, they can just, they can, the next six months without bringing that, without bringing in the union, they can just say, Adios. Yeah. Thanks for the memories. Okay. So there you go. You got six months of purgatory where you're going to kind of need to figure it out and then you don't do anything. Yeah. For the next six months, just tell your people to like show up if they want to and they won't get fired. And then what, I mean, there's no, there's no, there's nothing they need to do. Right? That's true. I mean, they're expected to, they're expected to build trails for 10 hours a day. But you know, if they don't, then I guess you can go. Now you're starting to sound

like a government employee. You know, now you're starting to sound like a government employee. You know, now you're starting to get it. What's confusing us is there's no actual incentive here for anyone to actually work aside for the goodwill of it all. And so, you know, and people who join AmeriCorps are doing it because they're like, you know, they want to do some good. So I would say let them do some good. And if they don't, who cares? There's no incentive anyway. So congratulations, man. You win. I think you unlocks the cheat code.

You did it. Yeah. Care less. That's our, that's our advice to you. Yeah. You need to do less honestly. And that is why the deal is you know, they get the job done. All right. Hey, yeah. Now you just want to make sure that everything you're telling us is true because you don't want to have somewhere in the fine print that you need to have like a hundred miles of trail bushwhacked and you're looking at just a big old forest with a month left. You know, that's going to be a lot of blisters. I got to report. I got to report it. Yeah, I would just say, I got to report it on the weekly. How much trail? How much trail are you supposed to cut? Oh, we saved quality over quantity. I don't know if everyone agrees, but I mean, we got about last week, we got about 15 feet, but you know, it was like all it was all rock.

So when you're moving rock, you know, you're moving in that way. So there is no metric, Charlie. So you in your reports, you need to start listing things like we ran into a bear, we had a halt operations. That's true. You're in the wild, my guy. Anything can happen. We were expecting lighter rocks and we experienced heavier rocks. So that took a lot longer. Also, did you say last week 15 feet? How many people do you have on your team and how many hours? I just want to pull out my little calculator here just to give you a little more than 15 feet. How much?

How little more? I think we did it. We did 80. 80 foot? We also, we had two structures. It was 80 new feet and it was two structures. And then we shut down and we shut down some, some soft due cause we're making a, a rerout.

You're doing it perfectly, man. Where you're, we're acting like your bosses right now and you are inventing things that you found when you realized I'm sniffing through your BS. Yeah. Keep talking about structures. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing good, man. You just keep the lies going on your end and then just keep the people from quitting for six months on their end. And, you know, by the end of six months, the 20 of you are how many ever on your team, you guys should have at least like 120 feet of trail and quality trail, quality trail. Yeah. Yeah. One good foot is worth a good mile. Yeah. Hey, sure.

The road is good. Keep saying stuff like that. Yeah, bosses. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. I would also start blaming a lot of stuff on machinery. I don't know what kind of machinery you guys are working with, but just, I mean, machines are always breaking down. And then you can always be like, you know, to make it look like you're really trying to do more, say, we need, we need a new chainsaw. You have my guys have been battling that it breaks down every other day. And then when they get you a new chainsaw, then you have another, you switch to a different piece of machinery. And then basically by the end, because you guys aren't doing anything. Uh, you're just going to have a bunch of new tools that you don't use and you can flip that on Facebook marketplace or Craig's list.

1000% get a little side hustle. I like it. We're talking retirement plan here. Yeah. That's not what you can do for your country as cow. You can screw them out of their money. Also, here's the other thing. Are your bosses coming out to check the progress of these trails? I'm going to say yeah and all.

Well, it's a cat. You know, my, my like actual boss will come out, you know, maybe once every two months, but the agency that contracts us, I see them all the freaking time. Oh, they're out there. They're out there at least once a week. So yeah, you're just, if they show up, you're just going to need to look busy. You aren't going to be doing anything. Lots of walking back and forth frowning. I've said that on this podcast and to frown a lot. And you know, if you do a, if you actually tell your guys,

you're going to blow up on them when that agency comes by If you get mad at one of your employees and blow up on them They're gonna know that you're trying hard people who don't care They don't get mad You know, so if you're getting mad, they're like he's really pushing these guys, you know, it's amazing They're yeah, it's actually amazing that they were able to get 80 feet done in a week. Yeah. They'll be impressed with your lack of progress. So I'm going to be honest. I want to put it in perspective a little bit. How little 80 feet is that's

not even one full basketball court. It's not. No. Basketball court is 94 feet. I believe you know that because I play basketball. Oh, you're well the coach. It always be like we got to cover all 94 feet. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. So you guys haven't even done a basketball court worth of trail work in a week. And I respect that. It's like I feel like that's hard to do. I don't know a ton about building trails, but I feel like it's hard to do that little amount in that long a time. Come on, Miles, you're killing me. And you said it's cold out. Our ass is out there. Right?

You're in Washington and it's cold out. Well, you know, it's fine. It's all, it's all relative. It's what they're complaining about anyways, but it's wet. It's just, you know, it's all relative. It's what they're complaining about anyways, but it's wet. It's just, you know, you're sitting there getting pissed on for 10 hours a day. It's demoralizing. What's soft is not fun. But it's not like, you know, it's not freezing. You see why we're staying outside for the whole, you know, the whole 10 hours, but it's wet. I got a solution for that. Okay. So this, this is a Midwest secret here. What you're

going to want to do is start saving your bread bags and bring some duct tape. And this is a little morale booster for the team. You say, Hey team, I know you guys been dealing with what feet no one likes soggy toes. So these bread bags, I'm going to put them on each your feet and I'm going to duct tape them around your socks. You are not, you are going to have some dry, probably some really sweaty feet, but they'll be dry. Well, they won't if they're sweaty. Well, you get the sweat, wicking socks. Get yourself some marine wool socks. Have the government pay for that since they're clearly not, uh, they don't care. So, and the other thing is, is you do that with the guys to keep them happy. And

then your bosses, you tell them you're dealing with bad cases of trench foot. You know, I got three guys down this week. We could have got another 80 feet, but we only got 40 this week because I got three guys down with trench foot. And then tell them how bad that is. Say that's not even half a basketball court. Google the worst case of trench foot ever and show it to him and say that's the guy. That's what that's what the guy just washed off the watermark. Yeah. Yeah. Get any images? I like this plan. Yeah. It's, you know, we'll get at least we'll raise our bread bed budget by showing that off. Yeah, the it's not about being a better boss. It's about appearing

like you're a better boss and that's all that matters, especially in the work you're doing. Fair enough. I appreciate it. They, um, soan, the third out there. I just touched the forklift for the first time in my life. And apparently I am now forklift certified by government keepings. Congratulations. Yes, you are. I don't know why you're using a forklift out in the woods, but I'm very confused at what you do for a living. I don't know why I am neither. I just got an email one day saying you're getting pork with certified next week that showed up for two hours and I used the for quick for the first time and they're like congratulations yesterday. They asked for my personal ID number.

It's been an official database. We're very proud of you here. I'm glad the guy who's working in the woods all day is now for certified. That's a month. That's government money. Well, it is. It is. Well, we're looking forward to paying taxes soon here. So we're, we're going to be funding that certification process. We like to think anyway. Well, man, we appreciate calling in. I think you already got it figured out. So yeah, just, you know, just look angry all the time and bring calling in. I think you already got it figured out. So yeah, just, you know, just look angry all the time and bring bread bags. I like it. Yeah. There you go. Well, thanks for calling in, man. Good luck on the next 80 feet. Watch for bears

out there. Yeah, you asked for deer. I will. Miles really. And then I think there's a lot of workplaces that take that mentality. I'm going to be honest. Oh, a thousand percent. I'm just trying not to get fired. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's but that sounds honestly like some fun work. They're just outside all the time. You know, no pressure, no pressure at all. Cutting trails show up. Well, you guys feel like maybe hacking down a couple of trees today. They show up. Well, you guys feel like maybe hacking down a couple of trees today. They're like, yeah. And they're like, all right, we'll do one tree before lunch and we'll do one tree after lunch. And then we'll call her a day. You know, actually, when you bring trees into the mix that, that can be a process.

You know, so, and that's what we should have told them to say, you know, it's a process. process, you know, so, and that's what we should have told them to say, you know, it's a process. So we should have said, you're right. Well, should we take another caller? Yeah, let's do it. Folks, Nicolay law offices said is your Midwest lawyer. Okay. If you've been injured or hurt in some sort of car accident or something like that, call Nicolay. These are guys who get you. They're guys who are, when they pick up the phone, they're probably wearing the same thing you are. All right. They are from the Northwood. You can see it right there in the billboard and in

the, the sunglasses that Russell's wearing. It's just a bunch of trees. They're going to shoot you straight to Charlie. They're going to give you all that lawyer jargon and make you more confused by talking to your lawyer. I've had that happen before. Now with these guys. No, no, they're, they're doing you good. So give them a call one eight five five. Nicolay. The T is silent. Yeah. It's not. I see O L E T Nicolette. If you want the phonetic and if you forget the number, you can find it on any billboard across North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin. But yeah, everywhere. Yeah, you'll figure it out. Welcome to the belly up podcast. Who are we talking to? Good afternoon guys. It's Carline. Carline. What's going on today? Oh,

nothing much. I actually, we talked back in a February about the whole, uh, getting parents off your back about babies. So I thought I'd give you an update. Okay. Wait, is this the car lean who called in who saw her folks for doing all, doing the nasty on the, uh, on the balcony? Oh yeah. You remember. How could we forget? My sister says hi. By the way, well hello to the sister. The whole fanbam. Yeah. Okay. Well, here we go. Let's remind the listeners. Let us know what we talked about last time and let's get into your update. Okay. So last time when we talked, I was getting irritated that the parents, friends, families were always like, oh, why don't you have kids? Because I'm now 38, still single, no kids. And it's a constant no matter where you go.

Everyone's like, why are you married? Why don't we have kids? And so I was asking for help of how to get the parents off the back of wanting to have kids So Literally a month after the call found out that my brother and sister and while we're pregnant So they finally had a baby in November. Congratulations. So that's where we are right now. Yeah. So that doesn't help your cause at all. Well, actually it did. So now since I've been home

and since all the attention is on the baby, I've gotten nothing. It's been awesome. Is there been snarky? No one's like, I'm, yeah. Is there been so no one's like, um, yeah, is there been snarky comments? Like, well, at least someone had a kid, I guess, you know, I guess we got to give up on the other one. You know what? Probably close, like at least now we're finally grandparents or, uh, you know, friends of the family be like, oh, congratulations, you finally made it as grandparents. But I was like, honestly, as long as they're not on my back, I don't mind those as much. But there's definitely some comments once in a while.

Well, this all sounds like a big win. I mean, do you have any problems with this? Are there any issues? Well, now I don't get any Christmas presents. Yeah, you're 38. Everything goes to the... You're 38. Everything goes to the grandkids.

You're 38. Yeah, you don't need the Christmas presents. The only Christmas present you should be getting at 38 is either from your kids or your husband. Way to turn that one around. I know. Dang. It sounds like her parents. You know what? I'm starting to get on the parents side here. A lot of present talk on you, but not a lot of baby talk. That was the only negative I can think of. Okay. Well, here's another.

That I can come up with. Yeah. Here's another question for you. Is there any movement on the finding a significant other or on the baby front? Oh, good question. So I'm back out in California because before when we talked I was in Florida living in North Carolina. So I'm settled out here and went back out on the dating apps and all that. So I've been on five dates within the last month. Congratulations. So definitely trial and error. Thank you. But none of them have really panned out.

Has there been any practicing for children going on? Do you have a baby on the way you'd like to announce now? No, I do not have a baby on the way that you know. Thank God, not yet that I know of. So you're just out there. All has been good. How's, how's dating in California? I feel like it's the same everywhere. It's just trying to get people off the phone or apps and just meeting in person. And I feel like people just want to do the same old, hey, how are you doing?

Or ghosting. And it takes forever to get someone to meet, you know, face to face, but I don't know. I, I'm guessing it was the holidays. People are feeling lonely and people wanted to meet face to face. So maybe that's why there was so many meetups. And now that it's, I'm not sure now that it's January when we record this, they're like, I got to get off the dating apps as my new year's resolution. Don't worry. They'll be back. Give it a couple weeks. Yeah, they'll get bored. Do you think that's what it is? Why they're just messaging is just people are bored at work. And they're like, I'll throw a few messages here. Is that it?

Maybe I honestly don't know. It's difficult, modern dating. That's all I know. It's hard to meet people in real life. Just out in public, no one really approaches each other. Okay. Tell us what is the toughest part about dating in the modern day? I would say if you're on the app, getting someone to meet in person. Because I feel like you find out a lot about the person when you're face-to-face You can't hide behind a phone or like, you know, you can find out a tone about someone So I think that's the hardest thing

The second hardest thing is if you feel like you're having a connection and then you just get Ghosted or someone just drops off and you're like, what just happened? So I would say those two things are the hardest. And then trying to like get back out there, being like, okay, forget about that. Let's move on to the next one. When you're actually on the date, what are your three pet pet,

what are your three top? I can't talk. I can't talk. Charlie's having a stroke. I'm sorry, excuse it. Do we need to call's having a stroke. I'm sorry. I'm just rebooting my brain. Got the little circle of death going. All right, little beer. Hang on. Oh, now he's level. What are your someone just talks about themselves and doesn't ask questions, when it's always like one sided, that's probably one.

Um, oh, I don't know. I can't, I don't really have that many, I guess. Is that definitely number one is like trying to get a conversation going. And if someone's just like always talking about themselves, you're like, well, you got any questions for me? Do yeah. The, uh, do you have an irrational red flag? So we had a guy call it and said that armpit hair is on a girl is a big no go for him. Do you have any irrational red flag that's kind of not very common, but when you see it, you run the other way?

I would say like, well, I guess one of the most annoying things that I get is, well, why are you single? I feel like you'd be taken a long time ago. It's kind of like an insult in a way too. So when people repeatedly say that, you're like, okay. That is just mean. But for scientific purposes, why are you still single? This is strictly for data. I could go with Ambrose for data. I just don't that'll just like have a relationship. Like you got to really connect with someone. So I'm not just going to go with someone just because it's convenient.

Yeah. What's the point of that? Or, yeah, just because everyone else puts pressure on you or whatnot. But I was I went on two dates with one guy and after the second date, he has to be exclusive right away. And that kind of threw me off. I was like, no. How many dates? Well, That's quick, isn't it? How many? Well, that's a good question. How many dates is appropriate to go on with somebody before you can even have the conversation of being exclusive?

You know, I would, I would give it more, not even the amount of dates, but just like, like at least a month or two, because you could have two dates within a week or within two weeks, but just like, you know, talking to someone and going on on dates and like maybe a month or two might be more appropriate. But this one was like, this was 12 days. You, you are, you are 38 though. So at 30 At 38 years old one week is like three months for a 21 year old in my opinion. Okay. Okay. I'm checking this math. Okay Okay, so you're starting to maybe still okay. That's good. That's good. Charlie, do you agree? You're almost 38. I, first of all, Miles, I'm 36. Second of all, time does move faster as you get

older. So that is an interesting philosophy there. I really don't know. It's kind of a weird, I mean, I agree with you. It's kind of this weird connection issue. You got a connection. You don't. Why, why did you just, how old was the guy who asked you to, to whatever after 12 days, to ask you to be exclusive after 12 days? How old was he? That's a great question. Cause I was just going to say he was 29. Mm hmm. That might make sense. He, he fell hard for you. Well, I think you need to realize that his parents are on him about having kids and he knows that you're 38 years old. He's like, I got to lock this up pretty quick. I know I'm young, but you know, it's only so many years left. So maybe that was his approach. Maybe, but also he can't have kids. So that was a conversation

that came up really early that he brought on. So he made it clear just because knowing our age difference. And now what do you do about that? Hey, that's actually, I think you're perfect guy. Yeah. That ends all the questions, every question, every conversation about it with your parents. He can have kids and then they're going to be like, yeah, I guess that's the end of that. What do you think of that? Yeah. Well, if there was more dating, I probably would have went on with it, but it didn't end so good. So we don't talk anymore. Oh, did you ghost him?

I did not. I did not. You just said you're freaking me out. You're moving too fast. Yeah, I said, what's the rush on this to be exclusive? Because he's leaving in April anyway to travel for three months. And I was like, then why are you even

on the dating app or whatever? But that's fine. Open dating. And essentially you want to be exclusive and then call it quit by the time you went overseas. And I was like, no, I'm good. That was just really truthful. Like, oh my God. Yeah. That's strange. You were right to get that one going. What if you're on a first date with someone and they put their phone right on the table face up? Is that a red flag? For me, the phone on the table doesn't bother me. It's if you like constantly look at it or pick it up. Like I prefer no phones around at all, but it doesn't bother me if it's on the table. Yeah. Okay. No,

it's not a red flag. All right. Just curious. All right. One last update question. How many times since February have you seen your parents doing it? None. So that was just that one time. Nothing, not even like maybe a little action underneath the table at Thanksgiving. Nothing. There was nothing at Thanksgiving. Everything was kosher. Everyone was well behaved. Okay. That's zero. How often do you as a family talk about the time you saw your folks doing it on the, on the porch? Oh, not as much. I think if my brother and I get together, we're like, Hey, remember that one time? That's about it. But that's like rare. Now that the, yeah.

Yeah. Now that you're not very much anymore. Yeah. That one night that beautiful full moon night. Well, um, yeah, it's, it's just good. And you got no, uh, go to a bar. Stop. Stop. Stop with the apps. Go meet someone in person. You said the hardest part about meeting people on the apps is seeing them in person, skip that whole part altogether and go meet someone in person. Lay in the hand. You know, I've been out quite a bit. Yeah, but miles I've been out and about and I actually do approach and I don't know if that's the thing that's the turnoff, but I try on my

end. So, but then I don't get approached. So I've definitely been out and about. You don't get approached. Are you going to bars and sitting alone at the actual counter? I have, like, especially when I was traveling so much for work, I would have to go out to eat and everything by myself. So that was like 12 years of doing that.

Okay, so what is your demeanor when you're out and about? I mean, I'm just sitting at the bar talking with the bartender and anyone like that's around me as I'm like eating and having a drink or two. So I feel like it's pretty open and approachable and there's no one around like, you know, that's usually spaces open. That's the problem. That is, it's going to be very counterintuitive. And I would not tell many other people, but you're 38 and we got to figure this out quick. And so we're going to try every single option out there. I want you to take the opposite approach. I want you to become unapproachable. Nothing like a good challenge gets a guy more horned up than someone who seems like they don't want to talk to you.

I hate to say it, but my house is right. I want you to look. Yeah. And even if you can look at even a little upset, maybe distressed, nothing like a damsel in distress that gets a guy going more than that. So be a little standoff. Oh boy. Yep. Seem a little distressed. Act like you don't have the time of day for guys. And honestly, that might work out. You know, Miles, I'm thinking about this. We have so many singles calling in this podcast, looking for ways to attract, attract other Midwest folks. And we have people calling in to buy, sell and trade stuff. I think we should create an app or a meetup, you know, for Midwest buy, sell, trade and date. Yeah, every time we do a recording,

we have a social mixer going on in the background. That would be good. It's for single-bellied up listeners to meet each other. Yeah. Cause then they have something to talk about, you know, they can be like in the background, they're like, these guys are fucking idiots. You listen to that shit. She told this girl to be a total BITCH to everyone at the bar. Can you believe that? What an idiot. And you have a good icebreaker too. Cause you may not be comfortable going

somewhere to just meet someone. So just bring your old snowblower along with, and that's a good conversation starter. You know, I'm looking to buy seller trader. How about I trade you the snowblower for a date? Seems like a pretty. Oh boy. Yeah. Charlie, we could do a whole episode of speed dating going on in the background and we interview people beforehand and then the ones that do end up liking each other. We sit them down and interview them that way. That would be good. That would be really good. And we could get their red flags out right

away. So what do you like about Sharon and then whatever. And then what don't you like? Yeah. And then we can work it out there on the. I don't know about creating a noblower for a date. Isn't that not mouth? Oh, that's not prostitution. Come on now. What'd you call it? A snow? What? No blower. A snow blower. Yeah, it did quite literally. She's doing a little play on snow flower. You mean you could do both. It's not going to work well. Yeah, well, that's a great pickup line. Yeah.

You want a snowblower or snow plower? I see. Yeah. You just snowed out. You need me to come over and snow plower or snowblower. There it is. There it is. Yeah. What that line work on you? Yeah. I would get all not going to lie. That's a yes. All right. We got to figure out a way to get a speed dating, bellied up episode where we talk and do the episode and then at the end of it, we interview the happy new couples.

I think the live show has to happen. This is it. Well, perfect. Yeah. If we do a live bellied up, it's just you have to confirm that you are single and make it so that everyone there can then mingle. That would be good. There you go. Well, any stones we love, we are, Hey, we're just spit balling here over at the VFW. Yeah. Any stones we left unturned. I think you got it guys. You know, just, we'll just keep doing our best. Just try it once. Try being standoffish and unapproach blood bar and see what happens and make sure you bring your snowblower with you. Okay. I'll do that. Yeah. All right. I will try it out.

Thanks for calling in again. This was great. Thanks for the update and tell your folks we says hi. We'll do. Thank you. Make sure you knock first though. Yeah. Oh yeah. Always. You got you can't just yeah. Not not on the balcony before you walk up there. Knock wait 15 seconds. Knock wait 15 seconds. Knock again. Then ask if anyone if everyone's clothes then then walk in. There you go. Good rule. All right. Thanks for calling in. All right. Have a good one guys. Bye bye. Another job. Well, I just yeah, I do think we got to do this live thing more. We do got to figure it out. I mean, it's just you and me and you know, we just need a logistics guy to make it happen. Yeah, we do. Yeah. I'm excited for

it. We're idea guys. We're not going to implement all the time. We're not. We're not. We're light on the execution, but ideas we have. Sure. Shoot. Well, Charlie, I think that's another good episode of the belly it up podcast. Thank you. Right. Miles. It was a pleasure sitting here with you today. Folks, make sure you get over to the Fargo VFW. You have yourself a drink and don't forget to tip your bartender. See you in the next one. Love you guys.