Bellied Up - "I Had No Idea My Wife Was a Lesbian" #164

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

First caller had a wild marriage with his wife. He tells us the story of how the broke it off and how his ex father in law came after him after the marriage. Next caller is working at a christian summer camp, but strongly dislikes one of his peers, we give him some solutions to his problem. Finally we have a Farmer from Iowa that needs names for his pigs. Shoutout Yoder Family Farms in Iowa!Milwaukee! Tickets to Bellied Up LIVE: https://www.pabsttheatergroup.com/events/detail/bellied-up-2025

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied Up podcast. We're here. We're live. Slugger is Chicago doing the thing. Miles, feeling good. You, uh, you feeling good today, Charlie? I'm feeling rocking and rolling. Um, Jared was asking us what our most useless talent is. I'm good at organizing things. And I told him that, what? I'm good at organizing.

I would love to know what you even organize in your life. drawer. I organized my junk drawer and I should have done a time lapse video of it because first of all, it took a long time. Well, here's the question. What were you avoiding that you were cleaning out your junk drawer? See, it is useful. You're right.

Avoiding God. I avoid taking, like, I'll just I'll see a tree and I'll be like that thing needs to come down. Meanwhile, you know, I'm like five videos behind what I'm supposed to be. Your team is calling you like, hey, Charlie, what do you think? of this edit and you're just out there cutting down a tree feels better feels better you know just to be

like uh doing something with the hands you know maybe i'm misusing my talent miles maybe i should be working with these things more you know what's your most use of talent uh probably the states and caps knowing all the states and caps Arkansas little rock Alabama. Alabama is Oh, uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I think we found a problem.

Montgomery. Montgomery. Right. Maine. I think so. Maine is Augusta. Is it or is it Montpelier? No, that's Vermont. Montgomery.

Oh, Vermont is Mount Pillier. You remember that one commercial? I was a little kid early 2000s they're like what's the little kid they're like what's the capital of Vermont you don't think she's going to get it and then all of a sudden she goes

Montpelier so cute um okay okay California that was worth our precious podcast time yeah whatever whatever

we should start doing that we should start doing that we should start doing that with each other we can we can challenge whether or not that was worth our precious podcast time i mean arguably we shouldn't even be doing this podcast if you're talking about time saving things this podcast this podcast is organizing the junk drawer i got news for you miles hey there's two pianos back there can you play one of those i can play chopsticks let's hear it that's the one that's like do do do do do do do do do oh yeah that's cute

I can't do the do do do do do do do I can't do that part can you do do do do do do do maybe you can be the stick to my chop ooh that would be nice um so so yeah I got the states and caps on lock that's not bad you're going to Wyoming soon I'm going to Wyoming Shianan nope oh nice flex I thought you were interested in my trip to Wyoming no I just wanted to flex my useless talent Yeah, I'm going backpacking miles in the big horns. This may be the last podcast we do together. Might be eaten by moose.

Um, who are you going with, buddies or? Adam, Gruel. Mm. Yeah, he's a. So Adam is his fun stuff friend and I'm Charlie's work friend. That's so, Charlie even, yeah. Huh? Yeah, I'm his work husband and Adam Gruel is just his fun buddy, you know?

never once have I actually he's he's done a throwaway invite to his cabin in the middle of Wisconsin that's not easy to get to but anything else not even a whisper and that's fine I I'm fine with it. Let me let me ask you this. Do you think I plan this or do you think Adam planned it and called me up? That's probably true. We're both not. We're not complaining planners. Yeah. I think, you know, that was a very weasley way to get out of that. No, it's true. It's true. And I did invite you to my cabin and you denied. I did not deny. It's just you can't just. You weren't there. When this is like a rule for life. If someone says, hey, you should come to the cabin. It means they have no intention of you showing up to the cabin. Because I sent the text to both the UN dude dad. Dude dad had no problem complying. It didn't read the room. You know, and it's like, hey, we got to have you out to the cabin. happen sometime, Jared. It's not an invite to the cabin. It's just a pleasant tree that you say. When Charlie

goes, yeah, we've got to have you guys out to the cabin. That's just a pleasant tree. Now I got to invite you in a specific way. Maas, didn't you invite Charlie once to a pheasant hunting and he didn't show up? I did an official. Yeah. I did an official invite to go pheasant hunting. He said

yes. And then he double booked himself and didn't show up. Well, to be fair, that's a very Charlie thing for me to do. and also I had a show so I had no business saying you're just going to spend your whole life doing shows or you're going to hang out with the people that care about you

Miles I this is not fair okay it's not fair to bring this up right now in front of all these people as we're about to do a show tonight I know if my wife and kid are just at the hotel room while I'm doing that and's not going to come

I not with not with our kid No. Not with a little man. He's got a skidge. Well, Miles, look, I do want to have more fun with you. And he should really come out to my cabin sometime. We got to have you out to the cabin sometime. Well, why don't you come out?

When do you want to do it? I'm just saying this to get out of this conversation. Because I accidentally brought up that I have a late cabin and you said you don't. You know, it's kind of one of those deals. Well, we got to have you out. You have a lake house. Have you ever showed up to someone's after they said, we got to have you out to the lake?

No, because I... Exactly. It just doesn't happen. But if you ask me... But if you said, we're having Barron's Palooza at my cabin on this date, book it, sign, sealed, and delivered, then I would be like, all right,

I got to figure out how to get there. All as I have to do is come up with a name for it. You're like, I didn't say that. Yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, I mean, if you picked a date, for sure. I did pick a date. Check your text.

Check the text. I got receipts. He's like, yeah. The only time I got is like July 3rd and 4th. Can you guys come out then? No, it was two weekends before that. Well, I'll be out to the cabin on December 25th. Just for the day.

That's how I feel anytime anyone does a destination wedding, it's like you don't really want me there. I'm not, I'm not taking my vacation. Oh, well, so, yeah. So what, what wouldn't invite to your cabin look like? Miles, you want to come out to my cabin? I do, Charlie. When? When are you available? Whenever, dude, I'll have my people reach out to your people. See? Work. You know what? I'm going to I'm going to do a deer and fishing trip in the fall okay so I'm gonna again very very wide time frame I'm gonna find the dates and invite you out bring your bow bring your pole okay no guns because it'll probably be bow season okay get you a tag or a fishing license

whatever you want to caught a musky off my shoreline did you mm-hmm I've been I've been hitting the bass off the dock have you yeah what have you been using um just been bobber fishing basically oh okay i like a little bobber fishing yeah i was crushing it's nice to do that off the dock it is you know what's even nicer get a little top water going no nothing gets me going like some knocking at top water um except for i my nephew was also fishing with his little mickey mouse one you got bigger fish on you well no but uh it just kept casting it over my line well he's your nephew no i know and the wind was going right to left and he was casting left right and kept blaming the wind that is a true midwesterner right there blame it on the wind well miles i'm

sorry that you feel left out but i feel like you're just uh i don't feel left out i'm just stating facts. I mean, I understand. I'm a realist. I understand how the world works. You feel guilty that you didn't come to my cabin. And so now you're, is, is Adam married? Now he's not married. Well, there we came. We're going on a backpacking trip in Wyoming. Correct. This is single guy stuff. Yeah. It is. I mean, this is like. It's true. I'll walk it back a little. You know, I messed up. I got married and had a kid. Right. Right. So that's not your fault. You can't come backpacking. with me, but you're also not going to die alone. So, you know, you take the good with the bad. I'll have someone to wipe my ass when I'm 90. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Or at least,

well, that depends how. And that won't go into that. Well, should we take some callers? Let's do it. Let's do it. Neil, you got Miles and Charlie from the Bellied Up podcast. Hey, how's it going, guys? Good, Neil. How are you? doing pretty good nice well I heard you got yourself a little bit of a crazy father-in-law I would love to hear the story oh dude oh dude okay so um well where do you guys want me to start from the beginning from the okay so from the beginning I I guess I'll just start and you guys can just comment I go

I was raised Mormon I was raised like really Mormon like like soken Mormon Went to church Like like Ruby Like Ruby Franklin Mormon

Like Ruby Franklin Yeah Basically I went to church Every Sunday Never ever missed For like For the longest time For 25 years

Married a Mormon girl even um everything was handy dandy and everything and then we moved down to utah together and um about a year before covid i decided that i i did some uh searching and my own kind of uh what do you call it spiritual journey My own spiritual journey for the church, and I found in my own decisions without trashing on it too much because I've already had my anger phase with it, but I just decided it wasn't for me. And my wife and my wife at the time decided it wasn't for her either. So we both together left the church, which drastically changed our whole entire lives, like very much so. how so um basically for me it was like rethinking my whole entire life it was i thought for the longest

time that this was the true church there was nothing that could there was nothing that you could say or do that would change or sway my sway my uh you were lost to say my thoughts on at all yeah like i was i was i knew my path i knew what was the right thing you were wrong, I was right, and that was all gone. Like it was, and it kind of put me in a spiral little bit. Did you try coffee for the first time? What was the deal? No, really what actually was kind of, it was my friend and he introduced me to weed

for the first time. Wow. that'll get you rethinking some things. You listened to one Chief Keefe song was like, this is fucking it. And then the guy's like, way to hear a little Wayne song. Yeah. It was kind of one of those things that I decided, because I was kind of like questioning the church at that time anyways.

And so at one point I was like, you know what? if I'm going to commit myself to this, to this church, I want to know everything. I want to question everything. I want to know every single little bit in peace. I'm going to search through it all, you know. So I spent like a few months just like really researching everything, really digging into everything and just decided that. And the more and more I look, the more and more I realized that this wasn't the church for me.

so I like it it really did like affect me big and different like in a huge way I remember I was driving to my friend's house and it just kind of dawned on me and he's like eight hours away and I drove the whole entire way without listening to anything

it was just me and my head for eight hours I was just like oh my gosh my whole entire life is like a lie basically wow that is wild time and then it was and then it made me depressed yeah and then and then and then and then um so it made me like super super depressed for like two years like two years it was just like I wasn't into anything I was just like I was very much contemplating suicide for a long time and all that

kind of thing and then my wife at the time because she left the church at the same time too and without me knowing was contemplating her sexuality the whole entire time nice so I'm just yeah so I'm

super depressed losing it all just like oh my gosh my family stopped talking to me for a bit because that dynamic got really I'm the first my wife's a lesbian generation yeah my wife

the lesbians. Yeah, like it. Full lesbian or was she by? She, if, if you asked her, and this is straight from her, she said she's like 80% lesbian, 20% bye. That's not good for you. No, it was not good for me at all. No.

But, um. Keep going. I mean, this is. Yeah. So we, so, shit. I forget. There's so... You were at your wife's a lesbian.

This was such a big deal. This was such a big deal. You guys have to remember that, like, it was so stressful for me. Everything that happened, I would start having memory gaps. I had to write some of this shit down. Like, because I didn't remember it all.

I had to write it all down. But, um... So, yeah, we both leave the church and she's contemplating that she's lesbian. and so I'm like, I can already feel that in our relationship. I'm like, oh, my gosh, what something's going on between us? I'm already super depressed because I realized my whole entire life was a lie and my family has stopped talking to me. I'm like, man, what is going on?

I'm feeling really bad. And instead of her family and her friends being like, oh, wow, like, kneeling, oh, crap. I was trying not to use her name. We'll cut it out. We'll cut it out. Thank you. I'm trying really hard. not to use their names because I

don't want to deal with them at all. Yeah, okay. So it's like man, like my wife are trying really hard to like, you know, trying to fix things or whatever. No, that's not how they took it at all. In fact, her dad

was like was like, oh, I'm pretty sure he's cheating. He's cheating on her. Like, she's depressed. He's super depressed and sad and she's being all weird and stuff. Like, he has to be cheating on her and he convinced like the rest of like the family like we had she had a

friend that would like call her up and be like where's neil this and that and like trying to find every and like they were just making my like hell for like three for like three years just trying to like they wanted me to be cheating so bad but i never was and it like it got to the point where it's just like it was insane they started making lies about everything of just being like one time one time as i was a um this was right after i left the church it was a few months afterwards i was sleeping terribly not doing well i at one point in the middle the night around one a m i basically went on a fever dream i got into the car and i thought i was driving to a nearby chicken store, like a chicken tender shop.

And because we go there all the time and our friends own the store. So we went over there. So I drove over there like in the middle of the night, not realizing what I was doing. And then I called my wife and I was like, hey, where are you? And then she answers back and she's like, what do you mean? Where are you? It's with them. Like, what the fuck are you doing?

And I'm like, and then like I woke up like my brain. woke up at that moment and it dawned on me that I was like holy shit like where am I like what is going on like it was no longer day it was night it was really really really really trippy and it freaked me out and so and then like about 10 minutes later I just drive back home and I was like oh my gosh that was like crazy and stuff and I talked to my talk to my wife about it a little bit and we then went to bed or whatever she told her friends that story and her friend was like he was out cheating in the middle

the night oh my gosh blah blah blah it's like oh my gosh chill woman and she would say like all these things and stuff trying to this is the worst part about this chick too so she was telling me all these like things telling trying to convince my wife that I was cheating on her and stuff

while at the time we would be like one time we would be like watching a movie and my wife had her her little brother and her friend and they're like these 19 year old hot boys super jacked and stuff and she was sitting with them

and like reaching down into their pants while we're watching this movie while she's married and then she's attacking me for being like yo I think Neil's cheating on you it's like come on bitch wow wow so much to unpack there

So where are we at now? Sorry, I kind of went on a rant. No, you're good. Where are we at now? Where, like, me personally? No, I mean, like, is that present day stuff that's going on? Oh, no, dude, this happened like years ago, two, three years ago. Yeah, so what's going on now?

Like, what's your situation like? What's going on now? I finally got divorced. I, uh, during that divorce, like I went and, I started working for this little contractor guy down there that went south and then her dad got involved too with it all

and it was just like he was trying to pin all these things on me so I just left Utah I was like man dude I am tired of you like everyone down here is against me like they're all just being rude and just trying to make it like they were literally just making my life hell They were trying to pin, like, this guy's house got robbed on him, which I'm pretty sure it never did.

I don't think anything happened. They're just trying to pin things on me. And it was like, it just got so stressful and so insane that I finally just left and I moved back up into Washington where my family lives. Wow. Like, screwed. I'm done. And I moved up here. And it actually made, they were able to pin it.

one thing on me legally, which I think they were just trying anything. I don't think they were trying to do anything. I think they're just trying to make my life harder as I get away from there. Because for the last year, I've been trying to find a job. And I learned I had a felony on my case. And I was like, what the fuck? And I couldn't get a job anywhere. What was the felony?

The felony was after. I got divorced, I was lifting with the guy and he was the contractor and I lived with him for a little bit and he it was funny, he was actually my weed dealer at the time too when I lived in Utah

but but afterwards like I was working with him and he was finally just had enough of me or whatever that's another story but so I left and I moved out of his house and I moved into another house and about a week

later, he said his house gets raw. And I don't believe him because he was saying all these things like, and then he tried to blame it on me and I have this tiny little Chevy bolt and he was like, man, you stole motorcycles and these speakers that are like huge speakers

and stuff like that. And I was like, dude, not only was I moving and my car was full of stuff, but how am I going to fit a motorcycle in a shettie bolt? Well, you rent a U-Haul. Basically. Yeah. Yeah, I got to get the U-Haul here.

right so you just are a wanted man then because i don't think you can just find out you have a felony i think that you would know if you had a felony or not no i didn't i really didn't know so you're a wanted man then uh yeah kind of but i'm fixing it and it is not really like it is it is being fixed and it's someone if i got pulled over it would not be it would not affect me it's We're on that part of it now where I'm actually fixing it because I got a job now. Finally got a job and got some income coming in so where I can actually do something about it. So you got- It's been a stressful year and a half.

You got charged with a felony. Yeah. But he never got arrested. You never got arrested and you didn't know you got charged for the felony? Yeah, because it was in Utah. And I honestly was thinking like, because it was so outlandish to me that he's, just like, you brought my house and blah, blah, blah. I was just like, you're ridiculous, dude.

Like, you're absolutely ridiculous. I'm not dealing with this. I'm walking away. Like, because I just didn't think anything would happen. It felt so outlandish to me. But this is where I found out how I think he stuck. How I think the felony stuck is that he went to my wife's dad, which, yeah, which he said that he, that he has,

video proof of me going to him in the front of his house and admitting to him that I robbed this guy's place and I was like yeah like think about that for a sec like he had tried

to get this guy to think like and he believed it so he's like Neil did rob it Neil did rob it and I was like dude like show me the video let's see the video I would love to see that video let's see it like and they have never ever brought it up and but that wasn't more than enough for him to can to be believed by her dad but what

about the police officer wouldn't they have needed to see the proof that's what i thought like i that's that's that's what i thought so like i i have no idea i have no idea what's gone down like in a few months here i'm gonna i will be uh going to trial and figuring it all out but like i have no idea how they got it pinned on me. I have no idea who they talked to or what went on or if they got other people to lie for it and be like, oh yeah, he totally's like, I have no idea. Are you sure this guy was dealing you weed and not PCP? Yeah, 100%. But he did deal in other things, too, but I know I only bought weed from him. Wow. He was. What really sucks, too, is that, like, I really liked the guy. He was a cool dude. And then all of a sudden, it was just like,

I don't know It was like a switch or whatever Well you lose a motorcycle and a couple good speakers And that can do a lot to a weed dealer Yeah You didn't have a motorcycle Well you guys It wasn't about the speakers

That's the back of the speakers Where he was storing all of his wheat Oh yeah That's a real issue here Well man we appreciate you calling in and sharing your story Sorry you had to go through a bunch of that That's tough but you're feeling better now or no?

Oh, yeah. Now that I'm honestly, since I've been working, I'm working on copper roofs now. And I put on copper roofs and it's so like specific and you have to be anal about everything. And I don't know. It's like my perfectionist dream basically and I love it. Nice.

I freaking love it. Well, listen, if you are thinking of stealing something, copper roofs is that's what you want to steal right there i mean that's that is true we're taking a copper roof off right now and putting on the new one so it's like there's this uh trailer that's full full of copper and it's just like man where this would be like where again yeah not telling that one sorry guys next time all right man well we're glad that you're uh in a bad spot now and uh again thanks for calling in yeah really appreciate you sorry i blabbed on no it was good it was good and we're glad you know you were feeling down to and you got through it so so good for you

you and real quick what advice do you have for people were feeling that low themselves oh dude it's one of those things that even when even when the people there that are supposed to help you and that are supposed to be there for you is just hang in there no matter what it will only get better it's hard it is hard to hang in there and i understand and i i note that more than anyone but as long as you just keep going like and just remember that there's another day like it it will get better and that's hard to remember but just remember that well that's real good advice that's a place to leave it well thank you for sharing man we appreciate you and uh good luck with those copper roofs okay yeah thanks for calling guys sorry i feel like i just blabbed on the whole time or so no it was

it was really interesting fascinating oh yeah there's there's there's a lot to it but yeah that's a good bit for you one but uh thanks for calling it's good to talk about it to someone else your reactions actually yeah yeah 100% definitely we'll have a good one man yeah you too guys we'll see you soon bye bye something odd something it's a lot of bad stuff that's happening to one guy yeah I got more questions than I got answers out of that phone call you just ran past when he said that he was just blacking stuff out and then had the fever dream i mean are we a true crime podcast i think we could i mean i want to ask them more questions really yeah let's call them back up i mean talk about a kick to the

nuts oh my god get out of the mormon church finally and your wife's like yeah i'm a lesbian you're like god damn it well why didn't they just why didn't you just tell that to the dad yeah you that's not his place yeah i don't know but yeah i got a lot of questions like also the robbery didn't he say the family yeah it's just i i don't know my my brain's in a pretzel and it it doesn't make the sense is not there right now for me so well hey we'll see how the trial goes we'll see how the trial goes yeah um and we will um maybe this this is a this is a good caller to do the we'll talk about it once the smoke settles yeah once the smoke settles so yeah If you're listening right now, Bella, what was his name again?

Oh, he didn't want to say his name. No, he said his name. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's fine. All right. Well, Neil, we wish you the best out there. Once the trial's over, you give us another call. We got more questions.

Miles, you've been back to school, right? Back to school. Back to school. To prove to Mommy that I'm not they fool or daddy. I forget. I got to watch that movie again. But you're going back to school, right? I have been back to school before.

And sometimes, like, the school over the summer, they make some new steps, you know, but they did it on a budge, you know. Which is short for budget. And, uh, which is French for budget. True. And sometimes you go ass over tea kettle over the steps and you haven't even gotten the math class yet. Well, let me do some math for you. Okay. You go to the hospital after that.

You take an ambulance ride. Well, one plus ambulance equals shoot, man. I'm out of money, but Nicolet is going to, you know, talk to that insurance company and give him a piece of his beard. And you're going to get that cashola back at you, baby. So call 1-855, Nicolay. Jeffrey, you got Miles and Charlie from the Bellied Up podcast on the line. How are you?

Holy heck, I'm doing good. How are you boys? Doing good. I heard you hate someone at summer camp. Tell us what's going on at summer camp. Yes, I do. I'm a dog barking in the background. Yeah, so we have, I run a summer camp down here in tech.

And so what happens is every July for the entire month of July, a gentleman that I have to work with, he basically come and lives with me for a month. Not like in my house, but we are stuck in the same 40 by 48 room for 14 to 16 hours a day. well I'm cooking doing my thing and he's just sitting on his lazy butt doing nothing

first of all you don't sound like a guy that hates anyone you sound like a guy that runs a Christian ministry you know yeah it's a Christian camp it is you gotta be kind of I could tell that when you said holy heck and yet here you are hating someone I gotta show you some passages in the Bible

he's one of maybe three people in my life I shook his hand and inflate you we're not going to be friends and that's okay you know um a little confused it's summer camp why are you in the cabin for 14 to 16 hours a day so it's the main building that i'm in so on top of being the camp director i'm also cook so it's in the main the mess hall where the kitchen is oh so okay so you're the camp director huh yeah so throughout the year this whole facility runs with me and one other part-time custodian and then in the summertime we ramp up hire a bunch of extra lifeguards people that's got the

Christian camp we we got to pinch the pennies here and this we'll also do all the cooking that makes sense budget cuts but you're the director yeah so you must have hired this guy no so he was told to me that he is going to be how to think how to explain us so he hires and trains all the counselors but because he's like my equal in a hierarchy it's of the it's a Catholic diocese oh yeah we're under a bishop and so the bishop was like hey here's our guy he's gonna train you and help you like well that's great and so we're equals but he handles the actual like programming of the camps like he's doing the summer camp songs he's making all the fun nights know what's messy water

games, all the activities they do, and I'm running the actual facilities to drown. Are you a little bit jealous that he gets to do all the fun stuff? Is that where this is coming from? Why weren't you selected to do the fun stuff? Oh, well, this guy's old than I am. He's older than you? Yeah, older, more experienced. I mean, he's, he's in his early 30s, you know, in my later 20s. But the reason why I despise this guy is the very first, summer we were out here it's his daughter's like very first time over at summer camp because she was old enough to finally be a camper do a swim test right make sure everybody can swim in the pool and those guys like hey you know my daughter can't swim we're like we're chatting it up with him

it's like what a beautiful memory this could be for her you know first summer camp she's going to swim with her dad you could be in the pool and then this guy straight face looks at us and goes no no no that's my wife's job to teach her out as well yeah yeah yeah you're in a suburb camp we can't be having that got out of dude and that's just kind of stuff the tone brother is this guy is this guy's name harrison butker no no no no the guy named robin oh robin butker his brother i wonder though i wonder if uh if old robin doesn't know how to swim himself and that's why he's doing it oh you know what i didn't ever i never asked if he could swim yeah i bet you maybe you know usually when we uh hate someone it said we don't know them

well enough i think that's uh the process for anyone who has some sort of disdain for another human being and i kind of wonder if you and him could just get to know each other a little bit better maybe you'll find out he doesn't know how to swim and that's where this is all coming from miles what are you looking at so sorry this is so disruptive but across the street there's a ufc gym and there's a kid training with a trainer and the trainer just knocked the kid on his ass we're trying to help this guy we're trying to help him we're trying to help him with robin for I'm sorry. I apologize for miles.

I'll do my pen. So what you're saying is I need to take this guy to UFC gym. That could be it. That could be it. Maybe you plan to seed with him and see if there's any sort of, any sort of fighting you can do to kind of get this out of your system. Maybe you'll both come to appreciate each other a little bit more. Certainly.

Yeah. No, but I call him and so like, hey, I wonder if there's any Midwest advice of how to politely, yet sneakily tell someone, it's like, just fuck off. Oh, wow. Do you hear that, Miles? Yeah, I mean, is that very Catholic of you? Oh.

I mean, you could say no. Could say it's not. Here's... Let's the Lord forgive. Yeah. Classic. That's just the Catholic thing. You just do whatever you want and just go all go to confession.

There you go. Here is my question, though. Aside for him not wanting to teach his daughter out of swim, being a bit of a sexist, bit of a chauvinist. What else has he done? I'm trying to think. What else has he done? So throughout the year when we have our little meeting greets, he's a, did you write that down kind of guy?

Like you'll be in your meetings and you know, I'm sitting there taking my notes. Some will say something, don't turn me and go, hey, did you write that down? Like as a joke or being serious. They're dead serious. He doesn't take any notes. I'm going to be trying to scribble away because it's, hey, well, it works really hard two months out of the year. It could just. What is this guy doing his other job?

What is he doing his job? So in the other 10 months out of the year, he oversees the youth ministry in our diocese. So all the different churches, youth groups, he plans and does events for them. The old big shot. Yeah. You know, big swinging communion over there. No, yeah. What skeletons do you think he has in the closet?

Oh, man. No, he's got a couple. No, at one point he tried to do a t-shirt printing business, and that failed. That'll happen. That'll happen. You're hitting Miles right in a soft spot right there. Every good entrepreneur has tried and failed that selling t-shirts, okay. so whatever

I thought yeah she tried and failed a couple things I mean you have no problem I thought I thought that he was going to say that they like were to do like a fun event where it was like renewing your baptism

and everyone showed up and everyone was going to get rebaptized but to make it go quickly they just like brought like a hose out there and everyone was dressed in white and they just started hosing people down and then it turned from uh baptism to a marty rod light commercial from the 80s um so i went to summer camp once as a kid did you ever go to never we called it bible camp yeah never 12 kids uh that's camp enough yeah that's true you every day

it was summer camp in your house exactly um i went to bible camp and i have uh i think i confess this i don't if it was on this podcast or on you betcha radio um but at the end of the week they would do like a relay race with your cabin so each cabin would do a relay race and we were winning and i was a part of the where you put an egg on a spoon and you hold the spoon in your mouth and then we had to like go down a set of stairs and then the last leg was the canoe but you didn't get a paddle they had to do with their hands and my egg fell off of the spoon and if it falls off you're not you have to go back to the beginning. Yeah.

But the egg didn't crack. Uh-huh. So I just put it back on the spoon. Yeah. And just kept going. That's fair. But I was supposed to go back. Did people get upset with you?

No one found out. So it was just kind of one of those things that it was. How have you lived with this your whole life? I don't know. Yeah. Well, that's a good story, though. Mm-hmm. Did you guys win?

Summer camp will do that. Make you good stories. Yeah. What's the wildest thing you've ever seen at this Catholic summer camp? Oh, boy, the wildest thing. This will be our third summer. I'm trying to think what's the wildest thing we've ever seen. Well, so it was, this is back when I was a counselor.

So this summer camp programs go in like 40-something years. This camp that we've built, you know, new is kind of the weird in-between of traditions. Back when I was a counselor in high school, we had the thing where when a kid was homesick, to like make them stop thinking about wanting to go home. You tell them that hate this is a snake problem, and we need to dig a hole. So we'd get a shovel, you just start making them dig a hole to stop. So you're running, you, you basically just stole the plot of holes. Yeah.

You realized that those kids were prisoners. But it was at a summer camp, wasn't it? I think it's called Camp Something in holes. Sam Green Lake? Yeah. How much do these parents pay you to take their kids for a week? about 500 500 a week

not a bad business right there how many kids you got what's run the numbers we can have about a hundred campers out of time all right all right here's what you're going to do all right

you can't do anything about this year you're stuck with the guy but next year you start telling the parents at $600 you skim a hundred off the top from each of them you go to that bishop you say hey I got a little donation for the church but coming with some strings attached, all right?

I saw this happen in an episode of The Sopranos where they bought a stained glass window. It's the same kind of thing. Or maybe it was the wire. Either way, you can bribe a bishop, all right? So you guys start thinking, how do you just get this money? My thing is overcharge the parents.

Skim off the top. Get that guy booted. I like what you think, Charlie. All right, good, good. Miles, you're pretty quiet here. Well, I'm just thinking about summer camp. you know oh sorry we still think about the egg in the spoon no no no no I'm just thinking about summer camp in general and uh you know I have a very specific someone who works at a summer camp

in mind you know what I'm talking about Charlie like white hot American summer no like uh like there's just a specific type of person that likes to work at a summer camp okay would you say that that stereotype rings true you know the overly positive person that is just kind of innocent. Is that true in the summer camp game?

Oh, yeah. All the other directors in the camp business are very chipper. Very chipper people. Do you have to sleep with this guy? I mean, do you have to sleep?

We will we will be in the same cabin together we'll be within about 10 feet of each other but i will be my own closed off room okay what's he like sleeping with him man i can't hear out of one side of my head so i just put my good ear down and i don't hear anything oh okay he snores or if he's loud i don't hear anything okay so you're talking to this on one air pod right now how did uh how'd you how'd you lose your hearing Oh, I was born without it.

Oh, form without it. All right. Is it a situation where you can do the implant to improve it, or is it a different condition? Probably could if I wanted to, but it's just easier to have the one good ear and the one bad year, and then you can tune out a lot of noise. Yeah. Some of my grandpa, he puts his hearing aids in and doesn't turn them on.

Yeah, nice. It just doesn't care what everyone's saying. yeah it's just for show yeah that point it's just a smile and nod sometimes just have you ever seen parent trap oh yeah sounds like you need to get you need to uh get this guy in the dead of the night it's just snoring away you need to drag his mattress out to lake and just float them out to the middle of lake and just start doing that stuff to him yeah or you're the cook just make like beans and uh let her rip i got to do about you just go fart him to death i think so he's got minimal uh options here you know i mean you got to make this as is as unpleasant for this guy

as is humanly possible you know you read in the bible it's an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth make the whole world go blind right I guess so yeah did I misread that section yeah you're pretty close enough so do you guys sing angels wings at this camp angels wings

and I will raise you up on eagle's wings bear you on the breath of God that's what the words are I didn't know that Yeah bear you on the breath of God Make you to shine like the sun

To shun like the sun Shine like the sun I don't think so Hey one more quick Quiz for you It's just so many Catholic calls Peace be with you And with your spirit

Damn it He's he's he's been at he's not lying he's been to church yeah good for you that was a test and you passed dad was a deacon oh your dad was a deacon oh deacon that's a different deal right there you know those were the cool priest just just couldn't fully commit to being a priest yeah one foot in one foot out you know yeah it's like foot in the he can preach but he can't do out the communion is that right you can do the you can walk around and do the like incense thing though and he's an incense guy so is he is he pretty good with the old incense urn thingy oh yeah

the thurable oh yeah he's great with it terrible i knew i knew it was a thermal that was also a test flexion i was the incense altar boy because i like matches the most um i should we do we're fully in it's our the last four calls we've done have just been about religion yeah charlie yeah So we have him do Bible camp Catholic trivia to us? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do Bible trivia with me and Miles. Three questions. Winner gets a cookie.

Oh, geez. Okay. I'm kind of Bible questions. Or whatever. Just Catholic Catholic trivia. Catholic trivia. All right. Who was the priestess who told Mary that she was going to,

going to have her heart stabbed by the swords. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Say that shit again. Say that. That sounds like an episode of Game of Thrones. It was a priestess? There was a priestess at the baptism of Jesus. Okay. Not the baptism. That's a circumcision.

So sorry. Jesus's circumcision. There was a priestess who wad up and told Mary. Your heart will be stabbed by, you know, the swords of sorrow. Nicola Harder, Mary. Do you know what her name was? I didn't know the Bible had a second. detailing Jesus's circumcision that seems yeah what is this saint uh James version what's going on is this uh I remember that uh hang on uh Elizabeth

no Elizabeth was her cousin no she's this was the cousin uh all right uh with Anna Anna Priesis Anna oh yeah Anna so we're all for one all right next they're really Talk about him, you know, getting his foreskin chopped off. He was Jewish, dude. I know, but they... Yeah, I was Jewish. On the eighth day. Eighth day?

On the eighth day, dropped it off. Eighth day? Yeah, I mean, that'll happen. All right. Hopefully they, well... Oh, gosh, thanks. All right. I do a little softer ball one here.

Yeah, why are you starting with the... That's like the final question there. That's like the final pause. How we were in. All right, let's see. What have we got? Something. what was the

third plague that Moses enacted on the Israelites fuck uh locusts correct bang bang boom also the only plague I know but perfect next question don't go old testament on us again

yeah what the f that's oh you want new tussing yeah that's the pissed off God stuff we only just yeah yeah Miles doesn't like to lose. He's getting sad and salty over here. The Bible's not my strong suit.

I'm more... I'll give you a 13 years of Catholic education. They just taught you all the rules. Oh, yeah. I don't know the Bible is cool. I'll give you a really soft T-T ball question here. Who was the prisoner that they traded Jesus for during the... Barabbas.

Good job. Yeah. Another Bible question. Boom. Boom. All right. Miles wants a rule. question, Catholic rule question.

Good question. Charlie, how long before communion are you supposed to fast? An hour. Yeah. That's a new one. That's a good one. I can't even think of any. I'm sorry.

Please the brain dead right now. All right. That happens. That's summer camp. Well, enough Catholic talk. Let's figure out how you're going to kill this counselor. you got to sleep with um poison no i'm kidding we don't want to kill him um let's see here i don't know do you know his wife i do you like his wife

not like ninth amendment like her course she doesn't talk much he doesn't let her is that the deal is she in like one of those like opus day kind of things. No, she's really introverted. Okay. All right. Like two or three times I met her. It's been like, oh, you know, high wave and she disappears somewhere.

Did she ever teach her daughter out of swim? You know, this will be the third summer and I've yet to see his daughter swim. So I'm going to have to go with no on that one. All right. I would say you could teach her daughter, his daughter out of swim, but that's probably just not something you want. That's not a. That would be the way to piss him off. Probably.

Yeah, you can teach his daughter out of swim, show him how, you know, a real father does it. You know what? It's not a half bad idea. I do teach swim lessons. Well, there you go. There you go.

I, you know, I think the real situation is here is you, you're stuck inside all day while he gets to go outside and have some fun. So I think you've got to just put some P.B. and Js on the menu. Make them in advance. get out there and have some fun all right i think if you have some fun that'll balance things out in the bedroom with you and your buddy and and then uh and if that doesn't work just smoke them out of there all right um sounds like a plan yeah yeah or just start watching movies really late um and sleep on your good ear yeah just start watching

watching the Da Vinci Code. I don't really piss him off. Is he like a, is he a hardcore Catholic? You know, I'm never asking the trivia, so I want to know. But we work at the diocese assume he leaves tons regularly. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Some guys are just in for the paycheck. You never know. Well, um, anything else we can help you with. You got buy, sell, or trade? You know, unfortunately, I don't. You think in all the summer camp, I'd have some. Of course, I don't, but tell us, you tell your folks, I say howdy. All right, we'll do.

That's the Texas version of that. And you guys have a safe summer camp and have some fun. And, you know, look for a redeeming quality in the fellow. Maybe you can start building a better relationship. There's got to be some common ground. Yeah. You know? Something.

Just look for that. If you can't beat them and try to have. Yeah, have some fun with them. You guys are Catholic. Bring some booze up there, you know? have some fun no we have plenty of that don't you worry okay all right the camp counselors let loose after hours a little uh sacramental whiskey there you go there you go well you guys have fun all right it's summer for god's sake

the robots will kill us soon so enjoy the life all right enjoy life while you got it all right sure it will charlie miles y'all be good you too well god bless you too and also with or in win your spirit with your spirit all right boy bye bye bye bye now you know that call was going great until you got distracted

by the guy getting his ass beat you are correct and I do apologize but Jared saw that and that I couldn't dude just got smoked where did you hit him hit him in the face oh and you can tell like

like he's he's there because his parents con made him go there like the kid really didn't want to be there yeah he's just gassed just questioning all his life decisions at this point oh you got a voicemail jared you you whooped me in trivia charlie i know i knew the barabbas one what was the one before that the plague i was i was trying to remember all of the plagues because i think one there was frogs that came down there was the locust they think there was isn't one of the plagues just like famine uh yeah i don't know is that a plague wasn't it raining blood too at some point yeah i mean

it's a bible they rained a lot of stuff you know wild book man you look that book of revelations i mean someone was on psychedelics with that one they actually think that the guy who wrote it was eating some bread that had gone awry. Same stuff that they had in Sago, Massachusetts, that the quote-unquote witches, they thought they were just hallucinating on psychedelics. It's the mold on the bread. You know, it's crazy how that works, man.

He doesn't have a name. All right, we have a nameless man on the line. Let's hear it. Voice mail. Hey, Bellers, Chad here from... Chad. I don't... I'm a big farmer.

from Iowa and need some help. I've called in before, but I'm trying to find a way named my pigs. It's a big deal in the pig world to name the pigs and give them a catchy name, and I'm kind of stuck with all the traditional stuff, and I want to be different and need some help. And my last name is Yoder, trying to maybe, you know, I'm an Amish descendant here, couple generations back, and left. that, but trying to figure out how to maybe tie that in with a little bit to help with

some marketing around that and really kind of help my farm grow and figure you guys could help me out. Listen, I just listened to the last episode, and I'm no joke from Jetty Loop. I won't promise anything of that quality with my laugh, et cetera, but I'd like to pick your brains and go down a few rabbit holes on this and figuring out how to get something accomplished with these pigs. It makes it pop for old Yoder family farms here. You shout out to Yoder family farms, first of all.

Amish in the background. My uncle owned a pig farm. That's a tough business, man. What was your uncle's pigs' names? I'd have to ask them. I don't know. I just know that my uncle almost died from methane poisoning in there. You know, it can kill you quick.

But anyways, naming your pigs. I was just in this movie, Green and Gluck. old actually. Nice flex, Charlie. But the main character in that movie. How they do in the box office? We don't need to talk about. Craig T. Nelson, though, the main guy, he named his pigs after the Packers from the 68 Super Bowl team. So, you know, unfortunately he's in Iowa. They, they don't really have a professional sports team to speak of. Caitlin Clark. That one could be Caitlin. One could be Clark. Yeah. There you go. And Clark.

There you go. Yeah. So just famous, oh, famous, oh, famous, famous Iowans. Actually, the guy who invented a chiropractorate. He is from, he's from Iowa. Daniel, David Palmer. That's three names. The foam finger was invented in Iowa, too, wasn't it?

Yeah. So was the trampoline. So there you go. There's Daniel. There's David. There's Palmer. There's Caitlin. There's Clark.

There's Kittle. There's Kittle. There's Kinnick. Kinnick? Yeah, just go, Katelyn, Clark, Kinnick, and Kittle. Yeah, right there. I mean, we just, I mean, how many pigs you got, you know? And Kirk, isn't there a head coach named Kirk?

Yeah. I don't remember. It serves enough. What about, wasn't Superman from Iowa? No, he was from Kansas. That's Clark Kent. But he, well, Clark and Kent, but he wasn't from Iowa, was he? He was from Iowa.

Caitlin, Clark, and Kent, Kittle, Kirk, and Kinnick. that's pretty good and just one called kinetic just for fun sounds fun on the tongue you know yeah that well what did you

yeah I lost it well you guys know wasn't there wasn't there a cornerback for the hot guys with the last name King yeah yeah

yeah yeah oh Deslin King King King Caitlin Clark Kent Kirk, Kinnick, and Kittle.

That's all your pig's names. And kinky. Just, why not? Now all the Iowa State people are getting pissed at us, you know? I don't know enough. Iowa State people to care. But that's good. So you're off to a good start right there, my guy.

Chad. You keep doing the thing, man. And, hey, if it starts smelling like methane, get out the way. can lose a few brain cells that way yeah well we're to caution for the pig farmers all right oh another tip for all you pig farmers out there some grocery stores when they're getting rid of like they don't sell like the chicken or they got a freezer burnt chicken or something you can get that actually for free just tell them you'll take their stuff you get free pig food but just you know don't go feeding them bone in uh chicken like so

so you might lose kiddle that way but um anyways they got the old food and you know pigs they'll eat anything for guys' sakes yeah that's what makes the bacon so good um all right yeah there you go well miles it's been another fun episode here on the bellied up podcast now we're going to go do it live that's we are guys thanks for tuning in tip your bartender we'll See the next one. See the next one. Okay, I hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.

Oudaloo.