Bellied Up - Midwest Nice Or Creepy? #105

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

The first caller wants to start a business and has a great question for us: "What's the difference between being Midwest nice and just plain creepy?" The next caller is a farmer who's tired of things breaking all the time; it traumatizes us and reminds us of our dads. The last caller's wife is having trouble making friends, so we give him all the advice he needs to help her. Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Check Out Myles' other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Betcha Radio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Charlie's other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cripescast

Folks, welcome to another episode of the Bellied Up podcast. We're over here at Stanley Cats, West Dallas, Wisconsin. I'm here with my good daddy, Miles. Well, we don't know at this point. We're recording this podcast before because I'm having a kid, obviously. And right around this time is when the babies do. All right. And so if the baby came early, I'm already a dad. So, Miles, now that you're on paper a daddy.

Yeah, we'll just, we'll mark that up. We'll mark it out. What do you want for Father's Day? I would like. Aside for something off manatowalkminute.com or Barron's old fashioned brandy. I would like another. Or tickets to one of my shows. Another copy of Midwest Survival Guide would be nice.

Why did you almost vomit when you said that? Why was that? Was a burp. Good God. Well, Midwest Survival Guide. Great book. I hear. Yeah, it's thick. It's it's dense. I mean, if you can grit your teeth and get through it, it's not bad. You guys can buy melatonin for the rest of your life or one copy of the Midwest Survival Guide. Yeah. I tell you what, I have read the first page of that book tons of times. You know what, Miles?

I just like that you're opening. Yeah, forget it. You already got the book. Also, you didn't pay for the damn book. So who cares? I give you a free fixer for your coffee table. What else do you want for Father's Day, Miles? Um, I would like, it's tough because I would say I'd like a day to myself, but on your

first Father's Day, that's not what you want. You want to spend time with your kid, brand new kid, all of that. But I'm thinking about the future. Now I've had a kid under my belt for a while. I'm probably gonna want a day of 36 holes of golf. Would you, dude. I'm not, you don't have to give me a gift. Just give me time to do other stuff. Would you play 36 holes in a day? Oh yeah.

Oh my God, have you done that? I've done it a couple times. I know, Charlie, you're not a golf guy, I understand. I'm a golf guy for nine holes. I know. That's the most I got in me. There are some days though where I'm like, nine holes is enough, but.

All right, and some days 36 is the sweet spot. So you want a day to yourself. What are you getting your dad this Father's Day? Oh God, I don't know. You think whatever Ann picks up at the store. Wow. You just, you just have Ann do it. That's it. Well, she weighs in quite heavily.

What do you think your dad actually wants? My dad. Um, well, what we usually get him is just a gift card to buy golf stuff. Okay. All right. So I'm turning to my dad. What if she took your dad golfing on Father's Day? That's probably what we should do.

That's a nice thing. Do you like golfing with your dad? Yeah, he's good. Is he every time I saw him beat him? Does your dad give you advice on how to golf? My dad does. No, my dad does the opposite. I will ask him for advice and he refuses to give it to me. Why? Well, it's not that it's just like he's uncomfortable with that. Okay. So he's a little

bit uncomfortable with human connection at times. And so if it's like a bonding experience, he'll start to clam up a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get it. I go golfing with my dad. The number one thing we do together on the golf course is look for balls. Oh, yeah. Like, find a nice. My dad loves nothing more than feeling like he got his money worth in golf balls from a round of golf. I like that. Yeah, that's good. Well, I hope you and your dad can get out there and swing the sticks, my guy.

And hey, congrats. Yeah, if the baby's born, if the baby's born, if not, then I rescind my congrats. It really, yeah, it would be nice to have a knee jerk reaction podcast right after I have a kid. Next time we record, I'll have a kid by then. Well, I'm excited to dig deeper in next time. All right. Yeah, maybe I can get you in the baby fever too. Oh, maybe maybe next trip to Milwaukee.

I'll bring a little nugget along. I maybe start to give you a little like, hey, maybe I want a little nugget of my own. Hey, that'd be fun. Yeah. You know, I'm not opposed to it. Now, you know what, Charlie, you ever going to have any kids? You know, that's so funny. You bring that up right now, Miles. I would say at some day, I may procreate.

OK, we'll see how it goes. I think the world needs a little Charlie in the world. Well, that miles, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Hey, maybe your kid and my kid will host a podcast. That'd be insane, though. That would be pretty crazy. And it's just my kid just shitting on all your kids hobbies. I mean, talking about my kids divorce every other episode, you know, it'd be great. I can't wait to watch

that. That's exactly how I want to spend my golden years. Well, and I plan to not like I'm going to keep my kid out of content. I think he needs to have his own childhood. I don't need to be thrusting them into the internet world Yeah, but I there's a little part of me. I hope when he turns 25 years old He's like I would also like to have a podcast and maybe someday I'll have a podcast with your kid and they can get on there and it's just shitting on you and I that would be the Most that would be great. That would be awesome. I want my old man stuff. Mm-hmm You know just like we do to our dads. I know we do.

My dad has provided countless material for me. I that's I really owe him a good Father's Day present. He made my last tour anyways. Well, should we dig in a little here, Miles? Get to some colors. Let's do it. Welcome to the Bellied Up podcast. Who we chit chatting with today. My name is Acacia, like the tree.

Acacia, how are you doing? I'm doing pretty good. How are you doing? Doing great. Where are you calling in from? Springfield, Missouri. I just saw you here not too long ago. Oh, thanks for coming out. That was really nice. How was the show? The show was awesome. We loved it.

Any critiques? Super good time. What did you think of the Springfieldians over here? I like Springfield. You know, that was early on in the tour. That was early on and we were doing multiple cities and I confess, I didn't get enough time in Springfield to really enjoy it as much as I wish I could. So I got to get back is really the bottom line of that whole deal. But thank you for coming out to the show.

Did you go to Bass Pro? That's like the main thing people want to do here in Springfield. You know what we are? Unfortunately, we were going to go to Bass Pro, but we did not get the we didn't get into town early enough. We had to go right to sound check. So it was, again, super fun to be there. But we booked too much on top of the other to make it happen next time, though.

Next time, we'll make it happen next time. Next time. Yeah. Why don't you hear from you? I love listening to that accent. Oh, my. Oh, she's cool. We as I tell you what. All right. Now you've got me talking like you because we listen to your podcast so much that I catch myself going, please, please. Like all the time.

Well, good. That's the way you should be talking. Well, belly on up to the bar. I should tell tell us what's on your mind. We'll have a couple of some bullet points written out here. So I'll start with number one. Yeah. Well, I'm starting a, an outdoor store here in Springfield and I really don't know what I'm doing.

So I wanted to know if you had any pointers you would give me some good ideas to get, get people's attention or like what kind of products would be the best to carry. Give me your best ideas. First of all, none of us know what we're doing, so don't feel bad about not knowing what you're doing. Charlie and I still don't know what we're doing. You find your way, OK? You're competing against, though, the Bass Pro Shop over there, and they do they do a lot of outdoor stuff.

But I'll tell you what what the bass is a great fish You know what's better fish the walleye so you do you guys have a lot of It's a man, you know, I have not done a lot of fishing. Well, you're gonna have to start fishing for God's sake You're fishing for God's sake. Starting outdoor, yeah. When you said you don't know what you're doing. Yeah, hey, when you said you didn't know what you're doing, I didn't know you did know what you were doing.

Yeah, we thought, you know. It's quite embarrassing, yeah. What is your favorite outdoor activity? Hiking. So you're thinking of starting kind of like a REI type of a deal. Right. That's kind of where my mind goes, is the REI feel, but the shop that I have here is pretty small. So I've got to work with the space.

Okay, well, the REI is kind of like what I'm thinking. I can, it's pretty easy because all you need is some boots. So I think you could start there. Some hiking boots. You know what you gotta do? You gotta find your specialty, okay? So hiking sticks.

So here's what you do. You start walking through the woods right now, find yourself some good hiking sticks. Just pick up a bunch of sticks and call them organic fair trade, gluten-free hiking sticks. You'll be the only place in the country that sells them. Inventory is so high.

And it's free. It's free. You like hiking, go out, collect a bunch of sticks. Home. All you gotta do is take a little piece of leather, drill a hole in it and tie it around the top. Yes. And boom, it's a walking stick.

Made in Missouri walking sticks. There you go. And then people send one over to us. We'll give a rave review here on the Bellied Up podcast. We'll only take 10 percent of your name after a tree anyway. So they have to trust someone who's named after a tree who's making hiking. Now, are you named after the tree you wish to be named after? Do you secretly wish your name wasn't a case? It was maple or oak. Yeah.

No, I think I'm more something like that. Sycamore would be cool. Hey, there's my buddy, Bert. Bert, come on up here. Maybe maybe a Linden. Oh, Linden. Miles, the big tree guy. I can identify because I have been I was named after a unitinden miles. The big tree guy. I can identify it because I have been, I was named

after a unit of measurements. So you and I are in the same boat. That's hilarious. I'm glad that my parents didn't name me inches, although it would have been fitting. You know, miles, you don't give yourself enough credit. All right. I tell you what you got a great pack. Anyways, so you're, I mean, when you're opening up a store, what really is you got to be thinking about marketing. It doesn't matter a lick what you're trying to sell. If you don't got foot traffic through that door, you ain't going to sell anything anyway. So Charlie, what are some good ways for her to get some foot traffic through the door? Well, I have a shop.

I have a shop dog and I use her as a prop a lot to see. And anything that has my dog in it tends to get more attention or like. That's one approach right now. But I don't know how long it's going to last. Well, you start with the dog, get a gerbil. You want to bring in the gerbil people too. And also- Untapped market.

Yeah, ferret is fantastic, you know? So- That's a good one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would just start creating a small zoo. Just a little petting zoo. Yeah, outdoors people like petting living things. You can't get more outdoorsy than that.

Yeah, get yourself squirrels in your deal. That's what you gotta do. Basically- Flying squirrels, sugar gliders. You're named after a tree, okay? Put a tree in your thing and bring actual squirrels into your facility and have it, have them run around, you know?

Feed them the whole deal. After all, an indoor outdoor experience. Now this could ruin things like. Maybe I can go capture some of the white squirrels that we've got in Missouri. Oh, you got white squirrels? You know what? That's kind of cool.

Yeah, there's a little town that's like known for the white squirrels here. Well, they're gonna be pissed if you're stealing their white squirrels. You gotta lure them in naturally. So just start leaving your door open, put some nuts up and you'll be good. But I think start with that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, how are you as a salesperson?

Well, here's here's the story. So I worked at a different outfitting store gear, a gear outfitting store before I came over to the one I'm in now. And basically there's a family that's giving me this store and telling me to run it. But there's a lot of confusion right now because they have a bike park and they have a bike shop and then they open this store that I'm in and they want me to make it something amazing. So I, I have the knowledge that I gained from the previous store and I'm trying to bring that here to the one I'm in now. But everyone's so confused

because they know us as a bike shop or a bike park. And so there's just so much confusion and I'm here to try to help. But I'm only two months into this job. That brings me to that point. You got to be a good salesperson. How are your skills at selling? You know what? I'm giving it to you. Well, I think they're not bad. They're not bad? I'm giving it to you right now.

Come for the bikes, stay for the hikes. You like that? And then you got the hiking sticks, you got the boots, you got squirrels, pet ferret. I think you're cooking with gas right now They for the height and everybody knows the number one way to advertise something in the Midwest you can ask the Lions den this Excite hell is real Buy billboards buy as many billboards as you can.

Come for the bikes, stay for the hikes, plan them around and put them in weird places. You know how Buc-Ease has like, next Buc-Ease, 386 miles away. Start doing that, but maybe keep it in a 60 mile radius. You guys do talk a lot about billboards. So I hear you on that. Also, you know what I think would do well in this store is the Midwest survival guide.

Oh, there you go. Yeah. You want some Midwest. I want to put all your patrons to sleep. Oh, OK. You know, you could start a mattress store as well. I sent Miles one book and he hasn't pulled it out. Why? He hasn't read a damn word. I read it while I'm on the toilet. You read it on the can?

What's your favorite part? I found your book here in Springfield at a tattoo piercing shop, and I got real excited. Oh, wow. You know what? We'll send you some books. You want to you want to be a book distributor? We'll hook it up. Oh, books are actually doing well here because this shopping center I'm in is like a gift

giving store or center kind of. So I think your book would be awesome here. Well connect with us on that. We'll send you some sign. You know, I brought up the sales thing. Yeah, she's a great salesman. She is. She low key called in to get some free.

I just realized this whole call was to just get you to sign up to so they could be a vendor for your book. We've been played and cloak and dagger. She got you on the hook. I'm all for it. It works out. Oh yeah. Well, I think that's fantastic. Hey, listen, I think we got your business plan knocked out. What else is on your mind? You had a few bullet points, you said. Yeah, OK. So I want to know if you think that this situation was creepy or Midwest night. OK. So I was having lunch. I was having lunch in my car in the parking lot outside of where I work. And there were people who were peeking in my window as I was eating lunch, telling me how great my lunch looked. And then someone else, I had my dog in the back and they're like, Oh, look at that. So, Hey, I like your dog. And they're just like sticking their

nose in the crack of my window, trying to talk to me as I'm eating my lunch. Is that creepy or is that Midwest nine? Cause I felt a little invasive, but I was trying to go with it. All right, Charlie on three, we're both going to say creepy or nice. Great. Three, two, one. Nice. That's the nicest thing I can do. I mean, what a pleasant group of people that are sticking their nose in trying to smell your dog. I mean, they don't just want to pet your dog. They want to smell your dog or your food. Either way, that's a very complimentary thing. Yeah. And I will have to say, Charlie, she brings up a good point. What's that? There is a fine line between being Midwest nice

and creepy. That's true. We'll show you the difference right now. We'll show you the difference. All right. So I'll go. This is being Midwest nice. Mowing your neighbor's lawn. It's Midwest nice to mow your neighbor's lawn. It's not Midwest nice to do this. Well, it's creepy, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's creepy. It's Midwest nice to mow your neighbor's lawn. It's creepy if...

If you go over to your neighbor with your shirt off, you know, and the neighbor with your shirt off, you know and the whole Situation hanging out there and you're spending a little bit too much time trimming the bushes by the windows afterwards All right, that's creepy. That's creepy. It's Midwest nice to change your neighbor's oil It's creepy if you do what Charlie, you know, I tell you what the oil is just the tip of the iceberg All right, you why don't you open up your garage and I'll show you the rest of the deal Okay, you got any chainsaws in there? I can take a look at if you do have a chainsaw

I know how that sucker works. You want me to show you or no? Hey, when was the last time you got your filter checked? Let me under the hood if you know what I mean. If you see, you're missing out. All right. It's Midwest nice if you help push a neighbor out of a snowbank. It's not Midwest. It's creepy. I just can't get it. It's creepy if you say, oh, geez Louise. Yeah, get yourself in a snowbank.

Oh, maybe you find yourself in a bed.. Oh, maybe you'll find yourself in a bed. I can push you out of that too. You know what I'm saying? Oh, jeez Louise, you found yourself in a snowbank. Oh, well I'll give you a couple pushes in a tug if you know what I mean. Get you out of there real quick. That is creepy.

Creepy, you know? That's the distinguishment. Now them sticking their nose in the deal, that's still on the verge of nice. All right. Miles got another. It's Midwest nice if your dog runs away and they bring it back to you. It's creepy if. Well, you got a real pretty dog. I was following that dog for quite a bit.

I tell you, everywhere you go, your dog got a little friendly with a coyote. I tell you, nine months from now, there is going to be some English setter coyotes. And oh, my gosh, I got video to show you. She's really that's creepy. You don't want that. That's the fine line between Midwest, nice and creepy. Miles, any other examples? Oh, yeah. It's Midwest. Nice to bring over a peach cobbler to a neighbor.

Yeah. And it's creepy if this peach cobbler, you heat that sucker up. And I'm telling you, one plus one equals two. I'll let you do the math on that. All right. I don't even know what that means, but it's creepy. Have you seen the movie American Pie? I tell you what, there is no food that don't need a cream filling anyways. Creepy, Have you seen the movie American Pie? I tell you what, there is no food that don't need a cream filling. Anyways, creepy, very creepy. So I'm glad we we could show you the differences there.

So one more. OK, one more. It's Midwest nice to borrow your your lawnmower to a neighbor or a chainsaw or a snowblower. It's creepy. If what? I tell you what, you think this thing's got a motor on it. You should see me. Oh, I can go and go and go. I'm like the Energizer Bunny.

OK, you one plus one equals two. If you know what I mean, are you? What's your story now? Is that husband? Is it, you know, you're thinking about the old divorce? I can help you out with that. Creepy, creepy. You don't want that. You know, and the final one to go full circle.

It's Midwest nice to knock on someone's door while they're eating their car and saying, God, that food looks good. It's creepy if they do what Charlie? Geez, Louise, I wonder if this is one of them suckers. I can hot wire. Oh, my gosh. There's someone in there. Hey, your food smells good. Can I smell your dog too? Creepy. You know, they're trying to steal your ride.

What if I'm what if I'm the creepy person in this equation? Because I I think that my husband and I might be the creepy neighbors because we forget to close the shutters and we walk around in the nude a lot and I'm real concerned that you don't sound that concern to me. Okay. I know. I try to rush and get the windows closed when I think about it, but then there's other times I'm like, Oh, there's no way they see me. But I don't know. You're a tree gal and you're not worried enough about the wood. I'll tell you that right now. I mean, you're just asking for a neighbor to come over, be mid-wise Midwest nice and

ask if he can trim your bushes. Yeah. Oh he's walking around in the nude. Oh! Yeah. So listen, you guys know that there's not adequate covering for your windows, but you're walking around all nude all the time. You've had- I'm just hoping that no one's looking. You're hoping.

Yeah, right! You guys have- Yeah, right! Do you guys have upside down pineapples hanging on your door? You got little globes in your garden Flamingos are you guys swingers? Oh Quit playing dumb are you guys swingers or not?

No, no, we're just not very No, no, we're just not very we're just careless I guess you're careless but you know, you know, you know Careless. No, it's not careless. You know enough that you should be putting something over your windows Why haven't you done the running techniques working fine the running? Oh you guys just run around the window. Okay So you yeah, you've never done anything more than run past those windows. No, I'm just running, just running from this. Just running through the house naked, hoping that no one caught the blur. It's fine. All right. So where do you live these days?

Just kidding. Yeah, I don't know. It'd be creepy. I'm going to be honest. There are some guys in your neighborhood that are thinking you and you are Midwest nice for leaving those windows open. In fact, you know what? She's a marketing genius. She's trying to sell binoculars at her outdoor store. We see right through this.

We see right through this. You know what, I think you are the creepy one to answer your question. You got it. You know, I was realizing that. You're putting on your. I'm realizing, yeah. Yeah, forget Netflix.

You guys have your own Flicks going on there Okay, last point I think this is Charlie, I hope you're proud of me I'm taking up birding, but I'm very new to it. I use them the Merlin app Yeah, I'm like listen to every little chirp and trying to track down all these birds. I haven't made it a super big hobby yet just because it's hard to get away from the shop sometimes. But do you have any tips for beginners? Yeah. Of course I do. I mean, you did the first step is, you know, that Merlin app is pretty cool because you can see what birds are around you and then from there it's just follow the chirp. Get yourself a nice pair of nocks. Excuse me, that was a burp off mic. Get yourself a nice pair of nocks and then just go start

looking for those birds. It's really that simple. The nice thing about birding pretty low barrier of entry. I will say the best time to go is about this time because there's not a lot. No, it miles. If you look out those trees, they're just starting to bloom a little bit. So you got it. Some nice see anything you got some so many neon signs covering the window. So you got to look through the neon. You got some nice little buds going. But winter is a good time as well because there's no leaves on the window. So you got to look through the neon. You got some nice little buds going. But winter is a good time as well, because there's no leaves on the trees.

You got full viewage. I mean, winter is basically the thing about. I was just going to say winter is your household at all times, you know, winter is. And then you can watch the birds do what they do on the Discovery Channel. And that's really it. When you think about birding, I've said it before. You got to just imagine you're underwater. And this is like scuba diving above water.

It's a really beautiful thing. You're part of their world. Yeah, it is. It's not that it's pretty cool. Don't worry about it. Few times I could tell she would appreciate it unlike you. And I think the situation is you just get out there and you be one with nature and you just listen closer And look closer gotta be careful with her though. Don't tell her to get to one with nature All of a sudden

All of a sudden You've ever caught I mean I haven't caught any of them. I will say the scarlet tanager is beautiful. Start putting out put out put out oranges right now. You'll see some more oils. And that's a beautiful thing to see. Well, you're down there in a different place, though. You're down. I'd have to look up.

The Orioles are up here, but oranges will get you scarlet Tanagers and and Orioles. Miles is over here clenching his eyes. I'm thinking about that. I don't think she really knows what birding is. She just asked how many you've caught. I'm concerned. I'm not Pokemon. Yeah, it sounds like she's trying to catch them all. Catch them with your eyes. That's it. Sounds like she's trying to catch them all. Catch them with your eyes, that's it. Catch them with your eyes. You know what?

That's a great marketing tip for your new business. You start getting out there, birding, take pictures of them and then tell, you know, do a map on the one of the walls where you saw these birds, have them pinned up. That'll be, and then. Ooh, that'll be a huge foot traffic. That's another great idea.

User generated, people can take pictures of their birds and put them up on the map too. Shut up, Miles. I'll bring a ton of people in this. This is a great idea. Miles, don't crap on my parade, my guy. This is, Miles, I gotta take you up birding. I'm taking notes.

Yeah. All right, will you take notes? Any last minute ideas for things to have in my store here? Cause I'm wanting to get what the people want. You're going to want to get some blinds so all your neighbors don't see your husband's walking stick anymore. Yeah. That's not at the shop here. Well, it might be a good way to bring customers in though. I'm going to work on that. All right. All right. A nudist hiking store might actually work. Well, they wouldn't sell a lot of clothes at that point.

I know they sell walking sticks. That's true. You're a walking sticks. That's it. Yeah. Walking pricks. The walking sticks is all we need. There we go. Well, thank you for calling in. I'm glad we were able to help you out today. Yeah, well thanks so much for having me. Yeah, you watch out for deer and tell your husband

we says hi. Put on some pants. Yeah, I'm putting on some pants. I'm so, I do tell him that. He's from Phoenix, so he wears his minimal clothing It's just something that stuck with him or he just doesn't like wearing clothes. So that's one thing I don't know what he looks like with clothes on anymore. Well good for you guys sounds like a healthy relationship lot of love Yep, I remember to turn your pineapple over tonight. We'll see you guys soon.

All righty. All right. Yeah. Bye bye now. Well, Miles, that's I think they're swingers. Yeah, I mean, you know, she was too eager to tell us she was. They don't wear clothes in the really interested. You shouldn't need to tell us. Nobody needed to know, you know, it. There's only so many times that you forget to shut the blinds

until it becomes on purpose. I mean, she said they didn't have blinds, didn't you? Or did I miss hear that? I don't know. Probably. Well, it's a good point, though, by us to make sure that you're staying on the right line of Midwest nice and creepy. All right. Yup. Thanks about that. Think about that between the lines. There you go. Justin, how's it going? Justin going good. My guy, where are you calling

him from small town? Minden, Nebraska, small town, Linden, Nebraska. No mistake. Mr. Minden, Nebraska. One mistake was from Minden, Iowa. They just got ran over by that tornado. Oh, Minden, Minden. Got it. Minden, Nebraska. Sorry, here, let me get in the pickup here. I'll get the phone going on this. Little windy out. Okay.

Well, pop in there. Why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind today. Well, so I farm and I'm out here trying to get planting going today and God forbid anything Wants to work Everything seems to break when you're not using it. You know, you sound like just that, you know, you sound like you sound like my dad Yeah, how old are you? Are you 75 years old? Not quite. I'm 26. Close enough. 26 going on 70 is what he sounds like with that statement.

Justin, what's not working? Well, so on planters, we have these things called seed tubes. It delivers the seeds to the ground. Sure. And within that seed tube, there's a metal reader that tells how many seeds you're putting out. Yeah. Well, we didn't, you haven't been using it now and you know what? Eight, nine months and it won't read anything. So we have to replace them all. Did you not winterize your seed deal, my guy? Well, that's the thing. Last year was real dry and no rain. And then we had fertilizer issues. Well, with the fertilizer issues, we had dirt and crap collecting on the ends. So I think it just got inside and corroded it. And you can't really tear it apart and

put it back together and make it work. Oh my gosh. Well, honestly, like we were saying, this sounds like you sound like my dad. Yeah. And nothing will make your dad more mad than when machines don't work. I, I think my first words I learned as a kid was when my dad was standing over the lawnmower trying to get it started. Fuck this, this goddamn thing, you know, all of those things. Nothing will make it more dad more mad than stuff now working. Charlie, what are some other stuff that will make a dad mad? Well, you got to understand that dads have a lot of things that will set them off.

First thing, obviously, if you got the heat on or the AC on, if you are using any sort of appliance that is attached to their bank account, it's not okay, all right? You got an AC, it's called the wind. You got heat, it's called put a freaking sweater on. First things first. Yeah, don't touch the thermostat. Do not touch the thermostat.

Second thing that pisses dads off, hold the flashlight straight, you know, hold it where I'm looking for God's sake. And here's what you got to remember about flashlights. You might be able to see the what your point in the deal at, but from your dad's perspective, it's a whole new world. So start from your dad's eye line. Shine the flashlight from your dad's eyeline, not your eyeline. OK, I think another you brought up a good point.

Something that will piss a dad off is not reading his mind. Dads expect you to be able to read minds. Yes. Yes. Hey, why are you doing it like that? Yeah. And why are you doing it like that? I don't know. He's like, well, I don't want you to do it like that? Yeah. Why are you doing it like that? I don't know. He's like, well, I don't want you to do it like that. He like, why didn't you say so?

And he's like, you should just know. That is a scarring word for a lot of people. You should just know. And every dad, when they're doing a project around the house or around the farm or whatever it is, they know what they're doing. It's not their job to teach you what they're doing so you'll be more invested in the process and not space out when you're say holding the flashlight crooked. Okay, so they know everything. You are just to be

interested in it even though you don't know the backstory or what you're doing or how long you're going to be on this project for. Another thing that will piss dads off, Charlie, is not doing stuff. So if he sees you for a second sitting on the couch, just enjoying yourself, maybe watching TV. Time to shovel rock. But the second that he wants to take a relaxing break, if you move at all, he's gonna lose his mind on ya. Thousand percent.

Dads, dads know that you are on the payroll, all right? They brought you into this world, they can take you out of it, but while you're in this world, you're on their dime, you know? And, you're on you're on their dime, you know, and even if you're not currently on their dime, you were on their dime for at least 18 years. And that leaves a little chip in their shoulder. So you are repaying those debts as long as you are in his presence. And Justin, I want to bring it back to what

you were saying. If stuff didn't break, what the hell would you do all day? Sound like your dad miles. I know. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I do a lot more sitting and a lot more relaxing. That's for sure.

Yeah. But would you be able to relax? You'd be thinking about something else you got to fix, right? Oh yeah. The list never ends. It keeps growing every single day. The real issue here to Justin is you let that sucker set. All right. You got to be out with your machines on a daily basis, making sure

that they're up to snuff and it's going to get you away from the rest of the things that cloud your mind in life. So I think the reason your machines weren't working is you weren't spending enough time with them. And if you don't have the time, you got to have some kids if you don't already to tell them that they are preventing you from doing their thing. All right. Doing your thing. Excuse me. I think spending that much time with the machinery, I wouldn't get anything else done.

Now you're getting it. How you're saying I understand. You sound just like a dad. Even if you want to be doing something like spending times with your machines, you still got to complain about it. All right. So that's good. Keep up the complaints. Well, that brings up a good point, Charlie. If you're struggling keeping your farm equipment up to date, just

I mean, just have some kids and then just blame them. You need a scapegoat. You need an outlet. Do you have any kids? No. Well, that should be your next order. Get yourself some kids. They're working on that. Yeah. Kids are in some ways a stress reliever because you can blame all your problems on them. Yes. Well, it caused just as many problems as, you know, you can blame on them. Think about it after the fun, Justin. Yeah. There you go. There you go. Well, it sounds like we're making them maybe.

Yeah. Fun making them. But that's best 30 seconds of my life. Right there, which was a lot. That's a long time. Long, long time. Well, Justin, anything else on the dome yet? Some to buy, sell or trade. Is it your seat feeder?

No, I'd say so. I have an, well, it's my technically my dad, she keeps saying he's going to get rid of it, but it's sitting as a yard ornament. And let me guess, let me, I want to say, let me guess it doesn't run. What? No, it runs. My father is a fine collector of vehicles. We, I like to call us the, uh, the Minden parking lot. Uh, he has, I think eight, nine pickups, two Suburbans, couple other little toys here and there. We don't have the room for it, but I have a 1997 Ford extended cab pickup with a flatbed on it it runs, but it might have a head leak

Alright, so it runs, but it doesn't run too good. Yeah, run your clutch it runs downhill Yeah It's a project vehicle All right. What are you asking what I like to say? What are you asking for it? I would say All right, what are you asking? What I like to say, what are you asking for it? I would say 800 bucks are best off for the flatbed alone is worth 500 bucks Wow, you just want to unload stuff here It's better than me taking the time to go to the scrapyard That's true Justin What would your dad say if he knew you were selling his truck on the belly-up podcast right now?

He'd say thank God. I've been trying to get rid of that thing forever. Really? Well, his list is so long that he wouldn't even know it's gone if I'd quit, showed up with the trailer and hauled it off. Well, there you go, folks. If you want yourself a Ford flatbed, 597. Yeah, I mean, how many miles are on it?

I would have to go look. I don't know off the top of the dome. Okay. All right. Well, worth its weight and metal at least folks. So some to consider. And how can they get in touch with you? Justin best place to probably send me a message at at big roost 98 on Instagram. Big roost. I like that. I like that name a lot. I'm kind of jealous that I didn't. I've had the handle for a little too long. I know long enough. If you ask me, Justin, well, big roots. They kill age. Well, I mean, what already has, you know, you see a gal at the bar and you give her your email. I'll That's that sealed right there my guy. He was sealed well good for you Justin

Well, you hope you can offload your truck fingers crossed All right, good luck with the harvest this year my guy Well, do hopefully we can get planting done first. All right. Well, good for you and good luck. Hope that thing starts working somehow. Kick it a few times. That usually helps. Oh, it'll get work in one way or the other. It's just matter of time. Real good. All right. Well, hey, watch out for deer out there.

All right. You know what, Charlie? I think I messed up in the beginning segment there. Well, I do know exactly what I want for Father's Day. What's that? About 14 bottles of tippy cow would be nice. Oh, well, hey, Miles, happy Father's Day. Thanks, John. To you for me. Yeah. And that's my favorite tippy cow. That's the orange cream.

This is like an orange. This is awful for you. This took some time for you to plan ahead to buy this and bring it here and gift it to me. And thanks for the card and thanks for wrapping it. This is awesome. You're welcome. Wow. I'm a good guy like that.

I can't wait to enjoy that right after this. If you want to get this reaction from your dad or husband or whoever is a daddy in your life, Tippy cow, baby. Make it happen. Folks, I got to tell you, when I'm driving down the road and I see a billboard and it says Nicolay on the side, I know if it doesn't say Nicolay on the side,

you've just been taken for a ride. All right. Nicolay's got the best friggin lawyers in all the Midwest. They wear sunglasses. They got beards. They wear miles. They got teeth that look really good. You know, a lot of whitening going on. That's what I'm talking about. And your lawyer doesn't need hair on the top of his head. My lawyer wears a suit every single. Well, my lawyer has more hair on his chinny chin chin than he does on his dome. And that's because he's got a really big brain. It doesn't have room for hair. So legal jargon, legal jargon, legal jargon.

We're not looking for a lawyer like that. We're looking for a best friend that can kick some ass with the insurance companies that the insurance companies just screw people. So go for Nikolay, they're gonna stick it to the insurance companies. The end. Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who we talking to?

What's up? This is Matt. Hey, Matt. Matt? Yes, Matt. Well, Matt, what's going on today? Oh, not a whole lot. I was calling primarily because I think my girlfriend is having a really hard time making friends. Doesn't really have her own hobbies. So I'm trying to think about ways outside of just telling her to go do random shit, you know, to kind of get out there and make her own

hobbies and get some friends. Okay. Why? Let's start off easy question. Why doesn't she have any friends? So we're both recently transplanted from the Midwest and we moved out to Boston. So our work schedule is a little funky. So it's a new community, but I found some groups that I can be a part in. I, I'm in a dart league. I also, there's a couple of people that I've met, um, and you know, context your office and everything else along those lines, but he teaches

a voice at some colleges and is a classically trained opera singer. So she doesn't really have an office to meet anybody in. He obviously can't hang out with her students, you know, so the schedule is just a little wonky, so I've suggested some things, but she doesn't really take it to heart. But then she always makes comments off to the side of like, Oh, I wish I had what you had. And she just doesn't want to do it. Okay. Oh, I'm glad she knows that she shouldn't hang out with her students. Let's just say she's got a good head on her shoulders. Very smart. Yeah.

Positive on that front. So she isn't like playing darts? Well, no, but it's kind of my thing, you know, like, you know, we will kind of have our own stuff. You know, Tuesday night is my time to go get some beers at the bar and get, you know, have some fun. Matt, you know, the thing we know about the Belly Dub podcast is we always have a way of getting to the heart of the issue right here.

Why don't you want her hanging out with you and your friends trying to, you know, pin the tail on the bullseye? What's going on? There's no specific reason. It's just we're in a small house. You know, it's about 825 square feet. So one day a week, you know, is kind of my thing where it's like my night away from the house. Okay. It's your night away from the house. But don't you think she would like

a night away from the house? What have you guys tried? Has she tried any way to make friends yet? She hasn't. That's that's what I want to try and push her in the right direction for. What are her interests, Matt? So she's really big into music. You know, so I've told her about some upcoming shows that we could both go to. Maybe she makes a friend that way. You know, one of my coworkers is in a book club. I've told her about that and that they have openings, but she doesn't really, you know, she keeps FaceTime and her friends from home.

And that's kind of like where it gets capped out. You know, that's like her social, her social wherewithal or, you know, time being of what she's dedicating time to, which I get because no, no doubt I miss my buddies from back home, but you still got to make some new ones when you're in a new city. Tell her to start a band. Back. That could be an option. Definitely could be an option. Um, I think you could also kind of just force it upon her in the sense that have a neighborhood party. Okay. Have some neighbors. We're just, we're hoping for. Yeah. Oh, I mean, how else do you make friends? She gets along with. Yeah. Get a

ball. I don't know. That's why you don't get a used ball. I don't have the money for a boat. I gotta, I gotta find a person with a boat. Isn't that the rule? Yes. That is true. We never tell people to buy a boat on this podcast. I bought a boat for five. I know. And it was a huge mistake. Well, it was a it was a minor miss. It had the engine work better. It would have been less of a mistake.

Listen, Matt. So what's that boat treating you to now? Right now? I had to sell it. It's a piece of crap. Oh, yeah. So maybe maybe does she have. She tried one of those friendship dating apps. We've seen those Charlie. No. Well, it's literally like Tinder, but for just making friends, companions. Can we trust those? I don't know. How did you guys? You aren't giving me anything else. I'm on my last leg here. How'd you guys meet?

We actually met through a dating app, okay There you guys already know the ins and outs of how it works. Yeah, I have her slide into the yeah That's it that Matt you start her friend dating profile and and you start, you gotta be a parent in this situation. You know, you find her some friends, set up a play date and then rock and roll. Or you buy tickets, that's what you do. Buy tickets for a show, set up the date, tell the person that has free tickets

and then set your wife up on a blind date with one of her friends. See how it goes. Okay. What about, okay. Here's another question. What about all of your darts league buddies and their wives? Why haven't you introduced them to them? Brilliant miles. So we've, I love it miles. And we've tried that because one of the other guys has the same issue. So the girls, you know, we had a dinner with all four of us girls got along really well. And then even though he and I both suggest like, Hey, why don't you go hang out with Michaela? She goes, No, no, that's too awkward. It's Sean's wife. It's not really my friend. And I said, you

know, you gotta, you gotta start somewhere and invite her out for a coffee. See if you guys can get to on your own. He just doesn't want to make that first step. Well, you gotta keep making the baby steps. You can't do one and out. You can't expect someone to like the other person that much on the first go round. You got to time after time. So you're going to have to invest one other night a week to do a double day with your dart buddy. Go back to tricking them. Say, Hey, why don't you guys come over? They come over. You start hanging out and you're like, Oh, we're out of beer, honey. Me and my buddy are going to run to a liquor store. You guys head to the bar, play some darts. It leaves them at

home together and it basically forces them to be friends. The old bait and switch. I love it. That's actually, that's a good one. Bait and switch is what we like. Yep. Um, yeah. Does she, is she in the outdoor activities at all or is she an indoor cat? Uh, I would say both. She enjoyed going for walks and hikes, which, you know, we try and do on the weekends with our dog Dog, I don't know if she's ever looked at like an outdoor you forget the out. You guys have a dog

What kind of dog do you got? We got a fluffy corgi. Okay. Well take that fluffy corgi over to the dog park She'll start making dog friends. I Guarant here's I'll tell you this and I have minimal experience with dogs in my life, but I've watched a few friends' dogs, my family's had dogs. I'll tell you this, you take a dog over the dog park, your dog starts humping or getting humped, you're gonna have to go say something to the owner

after you say, stop that, not now, not appropriate. You pull him off the dog, pull him off mount, and then you go apologize to the owner Great way to meet friends. Do you have a horny dog? No, I do not I do not all right. Well, maybe uh shouldn't have neutered them. Yeah Yeah, that's that's definitely on us but I couldn't afford the puppy, you know, no I get it I get it Well, do you think she could make any dog park friends? I think she could, you know?

There's always the concern that there's a more handsomer, you know, Prince Charming at the dog park and I lose out on it, but I guess that's the risk you gotta take. Back to the root of the problem. Do you have some- That's no root. Do you have some self-confidence issues?

Are you low key hoping that your wife doesn't go out and meet new people? You think you can't handle the competition? No, not at all. I'm one in a million. I know that. What if your wife makes a friend and he's a fella? Would you be opposed to that? I think that's okay.

She's got a couple of friends from back home that are guys. I don't have any issues with that. OK, I like that. Well, I'm sure it's got to it's got to be about trust, you know. Yeah, good for you. You got a good head on your shoulders. I tell you what. Yeah. Honestly, you just got to start signing her up for shit

because she doesn't want to get the reputation. I shit. She doesn't want to get the reputation. I think that's valid. I mean, she doesn't want to get the reputation around town that she signs up for stuff and doesn't show up. You know, she may do that a couple of times, but the third, fourth, fifth time, she's going to start getting paranoid that she's going to get a reputation she doesn't want. So she's going to have to show up stuff. I just, I always thought that was kind of overstepping.

I've been trying to do it from the background, setting, setting some things up and making moves. I just never wanted to do that where it's like, Hey, you know, I signed you up for a meet a meet and greet with a bunch of other people in the area. And you know, we're going, why the hell are you putting in on my private life? As she complains that she doesn't have a private life. I don't. Yeah, I don't know. Well, yeah, but welcome. Welcome to women, guys. Don't we know that? I think we do. Sometimes it's just about venting, you know. So in other words, you didn't call this podcast to get actual advice.

You just wanted to complain. Every single idea we've thrown out there, he is shot down, dead to rights. He's he he's trying to say no money on a therapist. So he calls up the Bellied Up podcast. You know what, man? You can't. We're not. Isn't that isn't that what happens when you belly up to the bar? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what? You were right. We were wrong. You know, I'm starting to see what your wife sees a little bit. Jesus. Well, well, thanks for calling in. Maybe I'm the problem. Yeah, I think we feel that you are the problem. Well, get get yourself another dog and see what happens.

All right. solid enough. All right. We'll make some moves. Tell your wife we says hi. All right, appreciate it guys. See ya. Will do. Well Charlie, another person that didn't take our advice.

Another good day at the office. Miles, you know how you always think about great ideas after the caller was done? Yeah, what is it? I think what we should have done was said, hey, give us your wife's wife's stats. We have some other listeners in Boston. We could have found her a friend out there. That is true. Frick. Darn it.

Well, if anyone's looking for a friend, go to all the Dart leagues, talk to every guy there and ask them if he called into the Bellied Up podcast. He can find a friend. There you go. Easy is that you imagine if can find a friend. There you go. Easy as that. Can you imagine if she found a friend that way? That would be insane. Yeah.

Well, folks, it was nice having you belly up to the bar with us today. We appreciate you. Yeah. Thanks for tuning in. As always, remember to tip your bartender and we will see you in the next one. Bye-bye now.