Bellied Up - Mother-In-Law hates Wisconsin #165

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

We're at kegels inn in wisconsin

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast. I'm here with my good buddy, Charlie. We both wore jeans and a green shirt today. Yeah, that's wild mouse. Oh, my God. Jared, too. Wow. Get in here, Jared.

Come over here. Look at his outfit. Yeah, is this the first time? No, Jared's been on the camera here before. Yeah, it's a big shirt. All they can see is are green shirts, though. Let me ask you this, though. Do any of you have a hole?

in your gene pocket no look at that i got a hole you guys ever get a hole in your gene pocket i hope to aspire that these jeans will get a hole on them someday one day they just bought these recently and i'm i just can't wait to wear them out i mean how do you get a hole in your gene pocket i'll tell you how miles you're putting screws in your pocket yeah there you go and that's uh i think it started with a screw and um and then it just you know worked its way around and now it it looks creepy if i people i got a hole in my jean pocket usually when it comes up in conversation is i'm pulling my wallet out of my shoe and they're like do you keep your wall in your shoe i was like i forgot i have a hole in my pocket you know then they're like well why do you have a hole in your pocket and i'm like you know holes happen

in pocket it's true that is very true charlie where are we at today charlie well we're at kegles miles here in west dallas wisconsin and this is a fantastic this is a historic bar same pink job they had back 100 years ago. Everything is here from 100 years ago. Everything is original. Everything. And these are OGs too. Like the great-grandmother got busted by the police during prohibition.

Yep. You know? And so, I mean, these guys have been doing the Lord's work for a long time. And I would say, Charlie, we've been to a lot of bars. I don't think we've seen a bar that's over 100 years old. looks in good as shape as this one no would you agree with that absolutely not i can't think of one now just because i can't think of it doesn't mean there's not one but it's impressive i mean and the hand-painted walls um that we got monkeys uh that are playing they're cheating at poker

you see that they're passing the card below the table there little chimpanzees cheating at poker you know and then over here there's a philippian in a beer barrel on the stained glass and then there's a fellow over here drinking the pee out of the beer barrel so it's a kinky bar too it's not just you know it looks upscale but if you get right into the details well it's it's just as grungy as every other bar and god love him yeah there's probably some fornication going on on one of these walls there's a drunk king over there you know he had a you never know what he's getting underneath that that role is you know we can only ascertain now who's the felon next to him dressed in just a sheet.

That must be a special friend or his wife. That might be his wife. That might be his wife. A lovely lady though. Yeah. Oh, gorgeous. No, Charlie, I think that, you know, you go to new cities, not new, but you go to cities. There's a list of places that you're like, oh, if I'm going somewhere, I think that

I got to put this bar on my list of when we're in town trying to get to. yeah you got to put kegles on your list here and um you know this was even before kegles was a thing you did to make stronger your nether regions right oh right you know that's what jake would say on the drive over here yeah yeah if this is before that is before that yeah um uh strong strengthening the pelvic wall for ladies and fellas, actually. I'm doing some right now, Miles. Speaking of that, Charlie. Yeah.

What happened to you this weekend? I tweaked my left cheese curd. I did. I did. I dropped this deck at my place, and then I was taking it apart, screw by screw. Well, some of the screws, Miles, they toenail them in there, and they buried the screw, and I got the chisel out, and I couldn't get. and then I resorted to the age old tactic

of just kicking the damn thing and I was holding down one end and kicking with the other and then I tweaked and cheese curd or so I thought it was it was in that general region and I was like is it what's going on so then I'm Googling it

you know and of course I got cancer the Lance Armstrong special yeah yeah I knew that there was a physical thing that it was caused but then I was like oh no is this torsion and i'll let you guys know if you got a set of them on you torsion is when one thing wraps around the other thing and if you got swelling and one's dangling a little lower than the other or oddly shit they're always dangling one's always dangling a little long but i mean in in a way it's not usually dangling and you want to be looking at it's natural dangles you have

something to compare it to but if it's cock-eyed or something and you got some swelling well you got to go to you see a doctor immediately on that. Otherwise, it can cut off circulation to your curd, and then it's going to, you might as well deep fry it at that point. Okay. So, um, how was your dangle this? Dangle was fine. Dangle was fine.

Dangle was fine and no swelling. So I says, well, that can't be it. Now, there were a couple other things I looked into. And, um, uh, you know, uh, I don't. don't think any of those were the cause and over time now pain has just gone away okay yeah i mean that's classic midwest guy moved by you some hurts just ignore it long enough until it goes away don't go to the doctor well don't run off and go you know strike up a medical bill i mean if i was considering it only because it was my favorite organ but i'll tell you this much if it if it wasn't i

usually have a thing where if I go 24 hours and it's not and if it's 24 hours and it's on the up and up it's getting better and better back yeah now if it goes 48 hours and it's getting worse and worse well and then I'll go in but um you know it's tough going the doctors a pain in the ass man or the pain in the nuts yeah yeah sure is but uh no i'm fine and here let me just reach into my pocket and see, yep, still not swollen. So we're good. I don't. Pleasure being here with you today, Miles.

Really? It wasn't enough for me to watch you play pocket pool sitting at the bar. I wasn't playing pool. I was just inspecting the, uh, the cue ball. Now I got to get to go get a different. We all wearing green shirts and now I got to go put a different one on. I should have called it the two ball or the one ball

the what call it the cue ball which kind of works but yeah one ball two ball would be funnier yeah go get a new shirt on are they nice are they nice and shiny

like pool balls too yeah not right now but you can give me a good reason to and we'll figure it out so should we take some girlfriend's been out town for a while yeah yeah but we're not married yet miles so she hasn't seen any of that

type of nonsense very smart yeah good catholic boy sure am yeah well should we take some callers charlie let's do it mouse let's do it um all right i'll call jeff towel that's a delicious little treat i just had it's an old fashion my man it's Get your hammer, get you slammer, gets you fucked up, gets you going. It's an old-fashioned. Hello, welcome to the Bellied Up podcast. Who we talking to? This is Jeff.

Jeff, how are you doing, my guy? I'm doing great. Well, Belly on up to the bar. I'm here with Miles. Yeah, Jeff, I heard you got a question about drinking in the garage. Ooh. drinking in the garage I don't think that was my question

oh shit did we get it wrong well what the hell was your question hold on me and Charlie what was it me and Charlie got a bad memory well Jeff you know what screw it just tell us your question

you're here we're getting straight from the horse's mouth okay so Well, this one is about, okay, it's about my wife and my late mother-in-law and cops in Wisconsin and Bible Camp and Lions and Packers in retirement and moving to Wisconsin. Wow. Okay. Pulling up a chair here.

I'm excited. Let's settle up here. What do you want to? Where do we begin? Tell us what's going on. Okay. Okay. can I give you a little background

you're going to have to okay all right so all right so so my wife and I are both hupers and we relocated to western North Dakota during the oil boom back in 2012

and then we've been living in Fargo for the last four years oh yeah and Fargo and Charlie yeah well you call them from Miles part of the world You're in Fargo

I'm in Milwaukee It should be the other way around It's a long ways away It's a long ways away Let me ask you I might have I was dealing my dial Right there

Did I miss where you moved there from We They were in Western North Dakota For the oil boom So they've seen the wild west Okay got it Yeah So we were at

At the time we We had lived in Marquette, Michigan for nine years, and then we moved to Iron Mountain. Oh, yeah. And then I followed a friend that went out to Stanley in 2012. And then after our youngest of the three sons graduated from Stanley and we didn't really have any stuff, anything keeping us there, we moved over to a civilization in Fargo.

You hear that, Charlie, Fargo was civilization. I can't believe it called it so. Yeah. No, it's, it's, it's civilized there for sure. It's a wild west, though. I'll tell you, the beginning of it, you can gamble in bars there. It's cool. Oh, my gosh.

Well, hey, when I first moved out there, the reset, I work for an engineering firm, and the receptionist was telling me, now this is in 2012 when it was really wild. In Williston, she said her friend would go over and she'd be making $1,500 to $2,000 a night in the stripping clubs. No, in the stripping clubs.

Wow. Yeah. The paint business back in the day was just booming too. Yes. Yes. I wasn't doing that, though. I was, I'm an engineer. Oh, by the way, Charlie.

Okay, okay. Engineers got to blow off some steam too. By the way, Charlie, I did meet you at Cowboy Jacks in Fargo after you performed at the Fargo theater a couple years ago. And I said, I'm a Yupor driving a rickshaw in downtown Fargo. And you just kind of gave me a weird look. Did I? Well, you got. Okay.

so here's what you got to know about that night is I was actually with my buddy Miles and one of Miles's friend had some stuff that was legal in Minnesota and uh-huh uh-huh so I was uh I was trying most likely I was trying to be uh polite because I was losing my mind yeah he's probably going through some sort of mental spiral yeah yeah I was doing my best with what I had. Lights were on, but I don't know if anyone was home as I think what he's trying to say. Yeah. So I probably thought you said something else. I was trying to be polite there. But I just said nothing. Well, you didn't know why Yupro would be driving a rickshaw in downtown Fargo. Well, I actually, I didn't. And now I'm glad that you called and are giving me the full.

Why the hell were you driving a rickshaw as a for fun? Well, that's my part-time business. I run a pedicab business. And on Friday night and Saturday night, when all the students are out, we go until like 2.30 or 3 in the morning and haul people around Broadway and bring them back home. You know, you're in, you got engineering brain,

but you got a petty cab ass. And that's what makes you like, the full package you got a lucky wife I'd tell you that much I'm a pretty lucky guy she lets me go out there and pedal around

in the wee hours of the morning and I smell that stuff that is illegal in Fargo yet but it's legal in Minnesota all the time yeah you ever take a Ripper nope

I've resisted I've been offered many, many times. There's some, and there's some interesting. Just like you've never been to the strip club in Williston. We got you, buddy. You know, this isn't a press conference. You can be honest with us. We're at the bar. Well, hey guys, you guys are celebrities in my family. And so it's got to be G-rated because all the nephews and nieces and aunts and uncles and cousins are going to listen. Oh, shit. Well, I never touched this stuff, to be honest with you.

I was just trying to make the 20-somethings laugh. So if those... Okay. Yeah. Okay. So I didn't know the nieces and nephews were listening. But so anyways, we met in Fargo, but... Keep going.

We got to know where this is going here. Yeah. Okay. All right. So I'm about seven to eight years from retirement. And my wife's going to be retiring long before that. She robbed the cradle. Nice.

And so we're starting to think about, hey, where might we want to move back and be closer to family? I'll probably always have a house in Fargo, but, you know, maybe a cabin. Not to brag. Not to brag. He's going to have multiple homes. He's got that Fargo primary house. The cab business is nice, apparently. yeah. Hey, Charlie, next time you're over in Fargo, I will give you and Miles and the crew a free tour like you've never seen up and down both sides of the Red River of the North and an unforgettable experience.

And we're going to stop at Junk Care Brewery and Director Brewery Hall and we'll do a mobile bellied-up podcast. I mean, honestly, you know, there's this. nothing sounds better than getting a full tour of the town you've lived on lived in for 32 years you know i just can't think of any other way to spend my time other than that what what if miles i wanted the full fargo experience so he'll just meet you up with you at the end you can drop you downtown and i'll meet you there i want you to add to my experience what are you going to be is it going to be like all right so there's one of our bridges and as you can see here we have a water tower that they recently painted you know questionable on whether or not the paint job was good um and then this over here is the fargo community center which houses the uh movie prop of the wood chipper from the movie fargo and then you're like all right that concludes our tour Miles, what about the, I mean, what else? What else is there? Well, you got to have a hill somewhere.

Oh, yeah. And here is our only hill in town. It is actually the interstate overpass. Man made. Oh, my gosh. Well, Miles, I've had people that have said I've lived in Fargo my whole life. And I'm 50 years old. And I have never seen this part of Fargo before. why so i challenge you that you will love it okay okay maybe maybe maybe we still got to get to how your mother-in-law fits into this caper this crime caper you're you're about to i mean you're you're are you just calling to chit-chat and you're faking us out with a story here because i mean don't get me wrong it's good chit-chat it's this is a real story Okay, so my wife still has a lot of family up in the Copper Country and Houghton Hancock area. Oh, sure.

And I've got three sisters and lots of nieces and nephews in the Fox Valley in Plymouth. So logical, easy choice is the UP, but, you know, I'd love to have northern Wisconsin as an option. I mean, we don't have to go there, but I'd like for my wife to at least consider it. you know yeah and uh right now it's a hard no it's like there's not a chance in hell and i you know we love vacationing there but living there it's like no way so i like why why yeah so now the logical answer might be she is a die hard lion's fan you know her whole family she's and i am a diehard packer fan you know uh so that might be the uh easy thing why but I started peeling back the layers and I think I figured out why the real reason

it has nothing to do with our NFL rivals and next boyfriend no so when I first got a job offers out of college in 94 I had one in Wisconsin near Milwaukee and I had some in lower Michigan. Okay. And it was like, no way in hell are we moving to Peewaukee. But she was so excited about Detroit. So I were like, okay, there's got to be something here going on. I finally figured out.

So her mom, she was not your stereotypical mother-in-law. She was a great lady. And she passed away in 2000. Okay. So what are you saying about mother-in-laws? What are they usually like? I don't know. I had a great mother-in-law.

She passed away. She's not here anymore to defend herself. I was going to say, she passed away. You don't have to keep up the saying that stuff, you know? Kind of believe them, honestly. Okay. Hey, my wife's going to be listening to this. Oh, yeah.

I forgot. We're in a press conference. Your mother-in-law is great, and your wife is just like her. You've never smoked wheat. Thanks, Miles. You've never been in the strip club. We got it. And you go to church twice a week.

Or if you're Catholic seven days a week. So anyways, her family is very involved in the church. Her grandfather is pastor for 38 years. every year her whole family would go to this Bible camp in Woodlake in Wisconsin is kind of like halfway between Duluth and the Twin Cities and if you do a map from Houghton to Woodlake are there any major highways that go there I don't know is it is a super relevant well he's what happened that Bible camp yeah

He's killing me, dude. I don't care if there's a highway there or not. Let's just hear what happened. I love it. I love your twists and turns. You're taking more detours than, you know, Charlie does. Yeah, which is impressive.

Okay. I think you are smoking weed, dude. Her mom had a lead foot and drove one of those big boats. And all those Wisconsin towns, he dropped from 50 down to 25. and she got a boatload of speeding ticket. Oh, yeah. And I think my wife and her mom hated Wisconsin because of that.

And my wife hated Wisconsin because of that. Because of the speeding tickets? Well, you get enough of them. Her mom. They give you an arrest. She got so many that she's not even allowed in Wisconsin anymore. She's on a blacklist of some sort or what? No, they arrest you.

Well, she probably got out of quite a few. She, I mean, she's a little old lady, you know, so, um, so that's, I think that's the reason why. So, you know, it's like, what do I? What? I love, I was going with this. I, that you're, yeah, yeah, I just love how you tell stories, man. I just like, you set it up like this was some sort of like a, uh, a thriller like Mrs. Robinson thing.

Like you were sleeping with your wife and your mother-in-law. And the whole story is my wife doesn't want to move to Wisconsin because her mom got too many speeding tickets there. Is that the crux of it? That's the crux of it. Well, I'm glad I know that you ride Rickshaw and how much the strippers in North Dakota we're making in 2012. And I'm glad that you had a job in Piawaki and offers in Detroit.

that your wife's a lion's fan. I'm just glad I know you. I feel like I know you better than some of my brothers at this point. And that's awesome. Well, when you got like 12, it's hard to keep track of all. Yeah, I know.

I know. But I mean, this is this is great. Well, I think we should get that Rickshaw ride in. I think you should. Now, I do think you would be a great tour guide based off of what you just, what just transpired. I think you do probably give way too many details,

but that's what people want on the tour. And the thing was, I wasn't bored during any part of this story. Well, no, you did a great job keeping suspense. Yeah. And you got a great voice. Also, I thought this was going to end up at Bible camp, you know? Yeah. Like, like she got an exorcism at Bible camp when she was a kid or something like that. But yeah, just apparently the speech. speeding tickets. And that's a great, that's a great gift. And he must get that naturally as a rickshaw driver because people, you know, you're on that thing for a long time. People want stories. But he just throws in these details of like, you know, suggestively saying where something could go and then it never goes there. Yeah. You know. But yeah, you throw out, you know, a big story involving

you and your mother-in-law. And then Bible camp. I mean, We're waiting for it. We're waiting to find the skeletons under the closet, but never, never performed here. But it was really good. I want to let you know that that is an insane, insane reason not to live somewhere. I have to get that off my chest. The speeding tickets of the mother-in-law? Yeah.

My mom got a lot of speeding tickets in Wisconsin, so I just can't move there. Where does that math add up in your? And she's lived in the shithole of Illinois, too, for three years. So, you know, why Wisconsin's off limits? I don't know. Well, she's definitely got some exes in Wisconsin. Yeah, there's... All her exes live in Wisconsin.

Yes. I wish it rhymed better. All my... All my sins. No, that rhymes too much. Yeah. Oh, my... Oh, my.

My ex flings. No, that doesn't work. Wisconsin. Yeah, I know. I know. It was an idea. Well, that's crazy, man. That's crazy.

You know what, though. You know how it is. You grow up here and, you know, some crawls up your dad's ass or your mom's ass and dies. And you're going to be hearing about it all through your life, you know, and eventually that just seeps in. And, you know, that's why Packers fans hate the bears so much.

you know, and Bears fans hate Packers fans so much. That's like banning the entire state of Wisconsin from your life because you got too many parking tickets in Milwaukee. That's the crazy move. Yeah. I mean, I mean. Not even you getting too many parking tickets. That's like your mom getting too many parking tickets in Milwaukee.

It's conditioning. It's conditioning. Yeah. It's like you get told something over and over. You start to believe it. Well, I think you guys start giving your wife some positive. Wisconsin experiences and maybe maybe what you could do is get her on the old rickshaw and go for a cross country bike to tell you're going to take her back to Michigan and just break down in

Wisconsin accidentally and break down at a at a nice nice little cabin up there in Eagle River or three lakes or biggest chain of lakes you can tell her in the world do you know that I didn't know that I thought Minnesota was the land of 10,000. Don't even get Charlie started here. Oh, God. Why don't you bring robots up while you're at it?

This is solely just getting away from me here. I tell you this, Jeff. We don't need to tell you how many lakes we got on our license plate because we know. It's kind of like when the guy is talking about how he's packing heat, he's usually just packing a sock. You guys just instead brag about how much. dairy you got so yeah we sure do but i think that's the move get that rickshaw going how far can

you take that well i i'll have to have a couple of batteries it's got electric assist so oh well you get get one of the ones that you know one of those old generators on those 70s that it's got a little thing dragging on the wheel and then it powers the light oh yeah yeah oh my gosh I used to be a bike mechanic. I'm going to order one of those on eBay. I'm going to put it on your rickshaw next time I'm in Fargo, all right? Oh, man. Yeah, I was wondering if you could teach me some tricks.

That's it. That's, yeah. That's ass-powered light right there. That is an awesome idea. Mm-hmm. Who needs solar power when you got ass power? And Jeff, I know you got it. it's a real

how do you know he's got ass power I do you still driving Rickshaw okay he's got ass power well man we appreciate

you calling in today even though we thought you were going to talk about something else that I don't know where that information came from

I'm glad that we didn't talk about that I'm glad we talked about your mother-in-law getting speeding tickets so I appreciate it dude and you see me around Faro

come say what's up yeah if you see me back around i promise i'll uh be paying closer attention this time all right tell the dancers we say hi yeah just just make sure you you know see charlie and talk to him like before nine o'clock then he'll be able to carry a conversation with you here's a fun fact miles is the one who gave me the edible now it all comes out i thought they were fruit snacks well you were wrong i don't think's i don't think that happened i was seeing the kool-aid man all right will you be good jeff all right watch off for dear are you too especially on that rickshaw they pop out of nowhere see yeah i like rickshaws i can tell

yeah i can really tell you love them yeah i mean that's people don't give those guys enough credit you know they don't really yeah they don't get enough credit yeah they're out there bust in their ass and it's just like oh can we bit another one on here you know like yeah sure bring tiffany on too jessica it's exactly what i my sciatica needs right now is another one of you i like that impression whatever that was that was great did you start working that in more you should do it in your stand-up i should do it in your stand-up I should do that.

Yeah, maybe let's clip that right there and then I'll look it back. I don't even know what voice I did. You know what I... Well, I lose it. You lose your train of thought. No, I was going to say something to you, but I was like, oh, I was going to test out a bit on you. And I figure it's probably not the time to do that. Why?

Well, if I put it on here and then it's like not a surprise on stage, I'll talk to you about it after. So if you guys want to figure out what that bit is, you got to go to Charlie Barron's.com and look at us tour. Oh, my gosh. Well, now that you mention it, Miles, yes, I am trying to sell more tickets. Charlie Barron's.com backslash tour coming to a city nearest you. Maybe I'll bring Miles. Oh, yeah, play us.

Record this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, plug that in. Yeah. Yeah, we got receipts. Yeah, Jeff. Hey, hey, let your nieces and nephews hear this, you a liar.

Let's hear it. Hey, guys, so I left a different one on old fashions and my wife's aversion to moving to Wisconsin. But here's another one. So I'm a uper. My wife's a uper. But we moved to North Dakota in 2012, and we've been in Fargo, actually West Fargo. But we've been in the Fargo metro area since 2021 and bought a house in West Fargo. And I am really curious on.

Jeff, when you said you live in West Fargo. There's this thing that people sit in their garage in a chair. They got their garage door half open, and they just sit out and look out at the street and drink a beer. And it's like this really weird thing. You know, they don't sit in the backyard around the bonfire. They're just sitting in their garage looking out. And I'm like, what the heck is up with that? Why do they do that?

So I'm just a Yupur living in Fargo or West Fargo and don't understand the local culture, I guess. But I would really like some understanding, especially you Miles being from Fargo. See, you got to inside into why people do that. What's actually very funny is every day on my way to work, as I believe in my neighborhood, there's an older couple that is always sitting on a lawn chair in their garage, like every

morning. Give them a wave every single morning. He does bring a valid point. Why not just do that in the backyard? And I've done it before. Yeah. I've sat on a lawn chair in your garage and it's kind of nice because in Fargo, the wind is howling at all times. But when you're inside the garage, you don't get as much wind and so it's like almost like it's a calm day out but you still are outside and i think that that's probably number reason number one interesting the wind that you bring that up yeah when uh you're in fargo wind consumes your life a lot yeah yeah i mean it much more so here we have a lot of breakers from the wind but yeah um my grandpa bob would uh sit in the garage i remember uh he would always sit right in there and he would stare out on the street and i remember one day he said you know

i used to sit here and look at the cows now i or i used to sit here and count the cows now i count the cars and there's um then he said something mean about someone on a bike and um sounds like a happy guy yeah he was though he loved the garage too but he loves seeing in the garage but um you know it's just it's a pleasant thing to watch the traffic go by to watch people walk by to watch, you know, the whole thing. And I do think, though, the idea of the garage being half down, I think that's something else. I think that's people ripping heaters in the garage because otherwise, why wouldn't you have the garage fully up, you know? You're just trying to get the air circulation going.

It's probably that guy saw the wind was coming at the garage. So that was more wind blockage. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. get a draft down low up into your undercarriage, keep you nice and cool, you know? It's like AC seats. Got it.

Yeah, that is nice now that I know that. I got to say, thanks, Jeff, for bringing not just a great story, but a great voicemail, too. And also, we both were right. He did leave a voicemail about the garage. Yeah. But he also left another voicemail about that.

I get the feeling that Jeff's a chatty. Kathy and that he don't remember half the things he leaves voicemails on. I would love to see how many times he's actually called in. It's got to be more than that even. School's back. School's back and think of all the ways you can get your ass handed to you. You don't look at the stop sign on the bus. You get a notebook that's got a particularly sharp edge on it. Paper cuts. You know, you're in the school pickup line and someone cuts you off and you know, you're just trying to pick your kid up from school you had a long day at work could end up in a bad spot

someone swings a pencil at your dong at the wrong speed yeah yeah if that happens to you what do you got to do Charlie I think you're going to call Nicolay so yeah you know there's all sorts of mishaps that can happen around the heightened

experience of going back to school and so if you find yourself in a tough situation maybe some injuries of some sort you got to give Nicolet law call 855 Nicolet. Maybe you ate lunch, a chicken sandwich, and you found that there was still a head on the chicken. Yeah. That's not good.

You might get the bird flu that way. So give Nicolet a call, guys. NFL season is back. Ladies and gentlemen. I've been waiting all year. Boom. It's going to be a good season, guys. I'm excited, and I want to let you know that prize picks is going to give you $50 in lineups.

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If prize picks is right. All right, guys. So we have a caller coming up next who said that he got a concussion in a weird way. And Charlie and I are going to try and guess. Uh-huh. how we got his concussion um do you want to go first where is he from does it say i like how that's going to factor into your decision does matter a lot does matter a lot yeah i think he ran into the wing because he's an aircraft engineer i think he fell off the jetway

jetway again you think he fell off the jetway i think you get more than concussion doing that it's a dumb and dumber joke Charlie fuck how'd you get fired fell off the jetway again come on it's all right

I'm a limo driver how many times have you watched dumb and dumber 50 plus Jared hello is Jared there yes

how are y'all we're good man we're good we want you belly on up to this bar with us because I heard that you're an aircraft engineer and you got injured in a very peculiar way. You could say that.

Something like that. Yeah. I just did say that. Is that it? Yeah. Not only could I, I did. So what happened? Yeah.

Okay. So for a little context, my sister got married and, you know, I went to this wedding. It was in a beautiful Catholic cathedral. I did the first and second reading. at this cathedral double duty yeah you know duality of man with the next part was it uh was it was it one corinthians chapter 13 versus one through love is patient love is kind i actually was just at a wedding this last weekend that was the reading i was at a wedding two weekends

ago for my sister i did that reading it's true that was one of the readings i did have to practice it a few times because I uh as an engineer reading is not my strong suit okay but uh so yeah we do the wedding now we get on the party bus it's like the groomsman rides made everyone on this bus and on this party bus on the way of the reception there is a pole on this on this bus and you know he's trying to get the party started I was looking at at this pole. And I was like, you know, in my mind, I'm going to do one little twirl. One little twirl on this hole. Do my spin. I'm going to mount it just one loop. Take a bow. Everyone's here. Yeah. You're like, if I don't do this now, like, I put these tassels on my nipples for

no reason. It's going to be, it's going to be much weirder later at the dance when I take my shirt off. I got tassels on my nipples. They don't know why. something like that, yeah. So, like, I jump. I'm on the pole. I'm at 90 degrees now around the pole. I'm like, wow, this is going great. About 120 degrees around the pole, something terrible happened.

Also, I love this is the most engineer way to describe this story. Yeah. In degrees of rotation. Right. 90 degrees I had, 120. Now I'm thinking, is he up? Is he down? Yeah.

He's like, all right. So the velocity I was rotating at was about seven miles per hour, or seven meters per second. He's an engineer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, so you're going to be doing velocity. Yeah, yeah, right. My bad. Okay, continue.

You were, you're now at 120 degrees. I'm at 120 degrees. So you're facing the ground. You're more down than you're up. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, we're doing a loop, the pole. It's going this way. Oh.

Like a clock. I thought your body was like a second hand on the clock. no no no okay so you're just you're riding it normal just like you're riding a fire pole sure and then 120 degrees turns out they didn't secure the pole at all at the top it was meant to be danced around not danced on is what it sounds for show they're all over not for hall there was no dancing around i don't know dude i'm starting to wonder if you're a real engineer a real engineer would to check this structural integrity of it before he would have just jumped on on his saying I'm kind of with miles on that one too sorry for trying to be a fun engineer for once

and see what happens it's not possible to be a fun engineer exactly exactly so 120 degrees something's terribly wrong I'm no longer pulling myself towards the pole the pole is now coming towards me because you know the centrifugal force yeah so about a hundred eight degrees with all of my body weight the pole bashes into my forehead now all is good at this point once i get to about 260 degrees that's when i land on one of the bridesmaid and just crush her beer all over her and at this point i land i look my first thought not that i just got them bashed in the head with a metal rod and my first thought is there goes the security to pop it that's actually what I was wondering how what the damage was in terms of the bill you got to pay

well we'll get there we'll get there so I jump up all of this is on video too is unfortunate paying one of the wedding photographers was there can there can they get that footage after this call can you send it to us so we can put it in yes well I or is it still under investigation well no there's no investigation it's just I have a job And, you know, I don't know how much about work wants to see a video of me, well, unsuccessfully twirling around a super pole. Let's find out. Let's find out.

Send it over right now. I mean, if they're worried about that, do you really want to work for that company? Yeah. You know, I thought you guys had a work hard, play hard culture. Well, we'll get to that part, too. This is a whole dilemma at this point. So it was about a month, month and a half ago at this point. So my brain is starting to function again.

But yeah, bashed my head and with a stripper pole, the bus driver was just like, that's not supposed to happen. It's supposed to be secured from the top. And it just came out amazing. So luckily, as you guys said, we didn't have to pay anything because they're like, that was our mistake. Yeah, because I'm worried about getting sued by you, which we have a lawyer for you, buddy. Ladies and gentlemen, you need to go to nicolaylaw.com.

if you've been injured by a stripper claw not properly secured to the top of your bus, call 1855 Nicolay. Nicolaylaw.com Anyways, continue on. We just had the end of the air read in there. Yeah, you're good. This call could be a consultation.

Honestly, we're going to count it as that, dude. We're going to count it. We'll send you $4.99 for your services. That's $4.99. I don't know why I just said that like it was East Coast. East Cows. All right. So you get knocked off this

stripper pole. You go into a bridesmaid who's like, are you married? That's probably an awkward thing too. Just get a face full of you know what. Yeah. Dress. I don't know what part of this story

makes you think that I'm married. Hey, great. Actually a great meat cute. Yeah. You just land amongst her bosoms and you're like, well, fancy meeting you here.

You know, it's better than having a cute dog run up tour and be like, I'm so sorry about that. This is way better than that. This is a hallmark movie. Yeah, it is. Did you recently just move back to your hometown after having a giant corporate engineering? And you recently got fired for sending your video to a podcast? Dude, we got to see that video. Did you go to high school with this girl?

There's a video, y'all. Don't, don't you worry. It's actually on my hinge right now It's not doing too well for me I don't think It's on your hinge Well yeah because I mean

Can you look It's like one dance trend I nailed No I got you He's got said it to us Oh yeah Send it over dude I gotta see this Yeah it's on your hinge

You're fine you know Because Honestly you know It's a very human thing man It's not like you were hammered Or doing weird things with someone It's just You got on a stripper

pole and it wasn't screwed right and yeah so where were you going you're saying that they didn't make you pay anything because they were worried about getting sued by you what what what came after that so that was my entire thing because it's a small business i'm not trying to hurt them i didn't think they purposely planned for me to get bashed in the head and stripper pole so i was like just we'll we'll be good just don't charge us and i'll be fine and i at this point in time i didn't think I had a concussion. So, like, that night went to the reception. And I wanted to be very clear here.

I don't drink. So alcohol was not involved with any of this. What? And I'm like, yeah. There was no alcohol involved in any of this. There's just, so. So, I mean, Charlie, are you ever performing a stripper pole move without any sort of intoxication?

Let me just tell you something about these sober people, Miles. Crazy things, soup them up, man. Like, when you take alcohol, out of your system you can get souped up by a red bull and tonic you know like you don't need alcohol at a certain point like it's almost like a superpower and they just get they just get high on life and see a stripper pulling attack i know some of these super sober people man they're wild crazy animals and they need that adrenaline to keep them going and so where's that video i want to see that thing yeah so you were sober

and so you didn't have to worry about, I mean, that's great. You could continue on without worrying about furthering damage to your brain with alcohol. Yeah, so, well, and I'll send up the pictures as well that came from this because I ended up with a giant knot on my head from this, as you can imagine. And I go out and I'm dancing on the dancewear. And there were a few times throughout the night where I kind of like took a step back and was like, something's not right where am i but then i immediately gained consciousness and again just kept going and then i flew home the next day really where it hit me is i drove to work monday morning i

sit down to look at my computer and my brain just was not it was not on so then i had to go explain to my director that like hey this weekend i got hidden ahead with a stripper pole i got I go, and, like, I led up to it where I was like, there was a poll on the party bus, and the first thing he asked me was, was there a pretty lady on the pole? And I was like, yes, it was me. And he was like, just go. Yeah, your supervisor knows. Let's get the video.

Yeah, it would be good. Did you see a doctor? You're not supposed to go to sleep if you've had a concussion. No, that's old. That's old. That's all. Yeah, you're fine. Oh.

The thing you need is. Oh. So that's the thing This wasn't my first concussion So I was kind of like I'm fine And the symptoms didn't click in until like Monday So like 48 hours later

But I tried to like push through Like I missed like a week's worth of work I tried to go back into work on Friday I drove there And then like whenever I sat down at my desk I was like I have no clue where I'm at Something's just not right So then I drove myself to the hospital

Like any reasonable person who doesn't know where they're at Yeah maybe i'm concussed i get that a lot when i sit down at work too they add up on you i'll tell you that and i mean the medical staff got a real kick out of it i do think there was a male nurse there i think he only got part of the story because he was just like dude it happened to the best of us like my buddy at a bachelor's body broke his nose when a stripper was like twerking on and i'm like no no man no no no no how how how hard does the stripper have to be twerking for you to break your nose you know they do that man

my my my my um way back in the day i remember my brother they took uh his his best man to a strip club and and the strippers on your bachelor party like they it's painful like bdsm like they drop on you and stuff you know they try to break your willy you know and and they should because you're about to get married and you're seeing another ladies who what you'm a call it. It's not very Christian of you. Bums. So you deserve a little bit of that. So yeah, I fell guy's nose broke a bit. That was for the bride. Let's see this video, dude.

Here we go. Okay. Now it's letting me do it here. I'll send you a picture because I had like a giant bruise on my forehead for probably about a week after. They do say, though, that if it's swelling on the outside of your your forehead or head, that's better than on the inside. So at least you got that going for you. Oh, really? Yeah, if you hit your head, you want to get a goose egg because that means that all the damages on the outside instead of the inside. Oh, so that's what a concussion is when you get like swelling on the inside.

You basically bruise your brain is essentially what a concussion is of some sort. Sam. All right. Let's see this. All right. All right. That's not that bad. That's not that.

Oh, here's a video. Hang on. That's just the photo of the aftermath. Okay. That's a photo. Okay, there's a little more. All right, here it is. That got you a concussion.

I was imagining you started at the top. Okay, let's watch again. Yeah. Who's your filmer? They zoomed in at the exact wrong time. Yeah, I feel like I'm watching a little star video. Slow down the video. Okay.

Like, you can see me, like, bash my head. Because you can't really tell that I hit myself in the head. And, like, you also know, I'm not, like, a big guy. Like, I'm 165 pounds. And if I'm taking down this pole, that ain't right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's, like, some strip joints in North Dakota where I wouldn't support, you know, the strippers that are there, you know.

Yeah. Well, that's, that's, I was waiting for you guys. you got really left me out to dry on a thick stripper joke come on all right here's so we are one on oh there it is oh right in the nugget dude

yeah there we go I mean good form by you though you kept it tight to the pole you know you're rotating at a good rate dude shout out to this guy in the green tie in the back you're fucking hype man dude look at that guy

I think that's the groom let me see here or no the one in the back yeah the one like in the still shot pictures like oh my gosh what's happening and I was about to land on it

that's the groom one in the back is one of the best men I love how everyone suddenly is like oh shit what do we do now yeah

oh well well nothing happens well look dude we're we're glad you're okay and we're sorry that this didn't go the right way.

We're praying for you that your brain gets better and that... Yeah, concussions are no joke. No, they're not. But more importantly, we want the next time that you see a stripper pole to do, you did the right thing.

I'm not, no, I'm going away. I'm not doing it. Well, no, this is a great platform you to raise a stripper pole structural integrity awareness. Uh-huh. And maybe you could do like a fun run with it or something and just

yeah started charity to raise money to a little 1K yeah you know something like that just to get it going just you take what a stripper makes on average night and just run that

a 1K and and just let people only a Williston they're making that you know in Fargo it's got to be like it's got to be like it's got to be a 2.5K. Like 3H, you know, like 300,

you know, like 300 meter dash. Well, you can only donate money in the form of ones as well. Yes, yes, you can only donate in singles. That's a great idea. Yeah, and then you can, your charity can just be donating structural integrity things to stripper pole

so this doesn't happen to anyone else. And then you should have booths at this event with stripper pole. stripper poles so people know that, you know, a well-secured stripper pole is safe and fun to use and you should, you should not stray away. Yeah, because we don't want to discourage people

from stripper poles after hearing the story. No, it's a great workout. It is. They have these workouts. Have you done it? Oh, I played a stripper in a television show. Did he told this story before? You didn't know that?

And what happened? It was hard times of R.J. Burr. the year was 2010 i was low on money and needed any job i could have it's so funny i'm like a senior in high school at this time and you're doing you're you're doing strip strip gigs for movies i was broke man i was taking the the used bagels or the not the lightly used bagels the lightly uh stale bagels for the production company what does a lightly used bagel look like Like if someone doesn't finish their bagel at the shop, they like, you know, got two bites left, you're just, you're they're keeping that for yourself?

No, Miles, come on. We all have been there when someone pulls apart a bagel and leaves a couple clips there. You know, you take that. Yeah, someone comes into the box of bagels and like there's some that were not used. I obviously save those from the trash, but some people pulled them apart and left half a bagel there. They came with a knife and they just. cut pieces of it while I took the ones that had not been consumed yet. It was that simple. And so I was in need of some money and a friend of a friend knew that I was broke and trying

to be an actor. And they asked me if I wanted an extra role on this MTV show, The Hard Times of RJ Burger. And I said, oh yeah, this is my shot. And I had done take off. You had one shot. If you have one shot to seize everything you've ever. my opportunity, my moment. And I had some experience. I worked as a model at a senior citizen home for figure drawing before. Yeah, you told us that. And I even took off my clothing for the woman who was doing the program and she took a picture of me for a painting of hers. So I had been in the nude business before. So I figured, you know, how bad could this be? Well, it wasn't bad at all. It was very fun actually freeing being up there on the pole. I was dressed as a Scotsman as in a

kilt. Yeah. And you can see me. I'm partially in focus for part of this. It's still on the internet somewhere. All right. We're going to have to find the roll tape here. But anyways, my point in saying all this is stripper poles are a good workout and they can bring out your inner child and they're a good financial investment for small business owners. And and also ladies of the poll. So what was really needed here is to make sure that our tradesmen are proper, first of all, if there's not a stud in there, we got to secure it. You got to anchor it somehow.

Anchor it and metal anchors. Don't be going using drywall anchors in the bus. It's a goddamn problem here. We're probably using drywall anchors. I told you once I told you before. When you're putting a stripper pole in the bus, you don't use the gas-dank drywall anchors. Huh?

Were you using drywall screws too? You fuck, son of a bitch. That's the conversation that needed to happen after that. And I still think that you let them off the hook. And someone's got to get, you know, properly smacked around a little bit for not. I was going to say compensated. Well, yeah. I didn't know you were.

I don't need smacked. around anymore. Yeah, he's already been smacked around. Not you. The guy who screwed up drilling it. Well, you can't go beating employees. That's not nice. So you want to go eye for an eye here for this scenario? No, that's not. A forehead for a forehead, a forehead. A forehead for a head, you know? I figured that, you want to go pull for pole. It would be as good as a confession for twirling around a stripper pole deductively as you guys can tell. I figured that just serve as a one-for-one, so I didn't need to go to confession after. Yeah, true.

There's no shame in going on that stripper pole. I think you should contact, well, you don't want to sue him. I respect that. But if you do, we know a guy. So are you, you're doing good now, though, or? You could say that. I mean, it's my third concussion, so I'm still getting headaches. every so often.

I actually premedicated for this, took a Tylenol. Okay. Wow. When did this happen? Oh, I think it was like July 17th. Like a month ago.

And have you been, what the doctors say? They were just like stop hitting yourself in the head. If you don't get better, then you're going to need to go see like a neurologist. But I started to improve. So I can look at my phone again. and like work and I know where I'm at

but every so often a headache happens I don't know man I would I talk to son I'd go see a neurologist make sure this this one didn't knock you a little loose in the in the goose man I got one more question for you are your parents proud of you well that's actually like I

my parents I asked them at the reception I'm like you know you have one child that's getting married and they're both doctors and then you have a son that makes it so much worse for you that makes it talk about salt in the wound

oh man your brother's a doctor and so is his wife yes so like I was just like you know you have like one of your children getting married today and the other one bashed his head with a stripper pole which one are you more proud of and they said it's a close one but I don't know I kind of feel like Charlie

based on the stories he tells about his family. I might be at the bottom of it with. It's nice that we can unite in this way, man. Find that common ground, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I think you and I get a lot in common. I'm just a dumb jet engine engineer for the family. I'm just a dumb comedian, man, with a big family.

Yeah. Well, you look, I hope you're not working for Boeing, because the last thing they need is someone with three concussions building their shit, dude. It's already falling out of the sky. Got to just stay away from the airplane for a little while.

We get a call from Boeing after this episode and they're like, take this down. This is bad PR for us. Take this down or we'll kill you. That's what they do. Boeing kills people. Allegedly, allegedly, if they talk shit about them.

Who do you work for? No. Come on, bro. It's not Boeing. That's all that matters. Spirit? It's not Boeing. What's the one with the two words?

Oh, it's aerobus. Airbus? Airbus. It's one word. That's a French company. So it's not that one. Lockheed Martin. No, I'm not a big military guy.

Good for you, man. Fuck all that stuff. Fuck those drones. Fuck Palantir. Let's see. Who else? Who else? Oh, it's probably a golf stream.

No, no. It's jet engines, so it's not airframes. I don't even know the difference. I'm just naming off companies I'm thinking of. Not really that relevant. Yeah. Well, this was fun, man. It was good talking to you.

And we hope you're better. Okay. And if you start getting, you know, if it starts going sideways, make sure you see one of your brother or sister-in-law, okay, they hook you up with a good neurologist. Don't just take the first one. off out of the box man because you know you want an experienced neurologist so don't worry whenever i landed they all did like a medical exam on me there like how many singers am i holding up

what day is it where are you and lucky enough i was really so i i passed that quiz okay okay well good i don't know if that really means anything but i'm glad and happy for you and we're So I'm buying. Okay, cool, man. Well, keep fighting the good fight, and, you know, we'll see you soon. Every time we look up, we'll think of you. Yeah. Watch out for stripper polls.

Think of Jared, the engineer who bashed into one. Yep. Yeah. Thoughts and prayers, man. Have a good one. Well, y'all have a good one, and stay safe. Stay away from the polls. You too, man.

man you too um i mean it was only a matter of time i mean what is these bus companies expect putting a pole on a party bus you know yeah man i you know i like i like a good a good um bar with a bus you know like a bus a bar in a bus no like like i want to get to that point where own a bar that owns a bus. Okay. You know? I didn't know this was a dream of yours. I mean, it is.

Yeah. So you, that's... For a long time, I wanted to own a bar, but I was like, dream bigger. So you'd like a bar with a party bus? I want to own a bar that owns a bus. Okay. All right. So that's great.

I think it can happen for you. Well, we don't know yet. We don't know. Well, is that it, Jared? We got voicemail. Oh, we got voicemail here. All right. Charlie is better looking than Miles.

Goodbye. I mean, that is... Why is your brother calling into the shell? I mean, I don't think anyone is arguing with that. You know, I don't... He said it like it was taboo to say. He said it like there was, you know, that it was common knowledge that I am better looking than you,

and I just don't think that that's the general consensus. that's like that's like him calling it and going cancer is bad oh i don't know miles i think you're a good looking guy myself personally charlie when you and i go to a bar together all i get coming up wanting to hang out is big sweaty blue collar dudes and when you go to a bar i'm getting those 45-year-olds three kids four tattoos that's that's hey even if that's true those are that's still women oh yeah yeah yeah no i i do get that once in a while and that's really that's that's nice feels nice sometimes you know but you know they're better looking people than me that's for sure and so what does that say about me

i mean it says everything's relative you know and i'm like a fargo seven come me that right i think you're like a fargo nine man okay all right well fargo nine so it makes me a milwaukee six um yeah no uh fargo nine would make you a milwaukee seven okay thank you yeah no milwaukee seven point five that'd be funny to do like to have a table a mathematical table of the city in the ranking yeah maybe we should make that that'd be funny is that a quick video we can do yeah we should do that

we should do that that's a good idea yeah yeah well is that it Jared well guys thanks for tuning into another episode of the bellied up podcast thanks for tuning in and as always

tip your bartender tip your bartender we'll see in the next one okay hope you guys have a good one goodbye now Tudaloo