Bellied Up - Myles and Charlie Investigate a Crime #108

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

In this episode, a caller from Louisiana tells us about a crime that happened in his small town, and Myles and Charlie put on their detective hats. The next caller wants advice on how to spice up her wedding. The last caller is a newcomer in a small town in Ohio and wants to know how to make friends with the bar regulars. Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Check Out Myles' other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Betcha Radio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Charlie's other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cripescast

Welcome to another episode of the bellied up podcast. I am your host, Charlie Barron's to my left is also the host of the belly to podcast and his name is miles. You're this where you say your name. I am, I am miles and I'm bellied up to the bar. My belly is indeed up to the bar, Charlie. And that's what this is all about. It's about a couple of guys getting together, rubbing their bellies together at the bar and having a good time and giving advice to people who desperately need advice. And speaking of having a good time, Charlie, fourth of July is tomorrow. I suppose it's the third of July today. Yeah, it's nice.

We get to go look at the fireworks go off and probably people have already watched the fireworks go off. What day is the fourth of July on today? This year, Miles, I it's on the fourth. It's no. But what day of the week is is it on Thursday? Thursday. Yes. Yep. So probably Thursday is a weird day for the fourth. I kind of like it. You get Friday off then, too, I'm guessing.

You get Friday off. Yes. But, you know, kind of you're doing all the fireworks on the on that Thursday. Are we still doing some Wednesday fireworks? A lot of people do fireworks on the third July. I mean, if you're if you're in a state that allows fireworks, I feel like the whole week, their whole week, it's just probably people get that entire week off now that we think about it. Yeah, I don't know.

Depends very much depends, Charlie. Yep, it does. Now, Charlie, hi, July is great. But is there any way that you would improve the Fourth of July? How would you make the Fourth of July even better? Well, to the next level? I mean, I think one way to make the Fourth of July better is I would like and I would like more pattern fireworks, you know?

No, I don't. I would I would like more like pictures in my fireworks. Oh, you know, and like, I kind of want some fireworks like where you can do firework art, you know, where some of it stays in the sky a little bit longer so you can do like a whole lion and the main comes streaming down, you know, those like wouldn't be cool to get like two eyes and a nose up there and like and then do audio visual this firework.

All right. Let's hear it. So here's the. Wow. Ooh, ah, what a waste of government money. You bought those things from China. That's what every fourth of July sounds like. Ooh. Ah. Can you believe we got to clean this crap out of the lake tomorrow? I mean, it's all true, but a time and a place. What do you think should be improved about the fourth miles?

I think we need to make the hot dog eating contest an even bigger deal. That's actually my favorite thing about the fourth of July is the hot dog eating contest. You have a, you have an annual hot dog eating contest on the fourth. No, no. The Nathan's hot dog eating contest on Coney Island with Joey chestnut in the squad. Oh my gosh. I haven't thought about that in ever, to be honest with you. Well, you just haven't seen a good hot dog eating contest then. No, it is electric. I've never been involved in one. I think at one point in my life, maybe I was in like a pie eating concept. I don't really like eating contest. I'm not very good at them. I like to enjoy. I'm not participating.

I'm just watching. Oh, well, how do you want to make it better? I'd say we need to make it a bigger deal. It needs to be prime time right now. It's like 11 o'clock on the 4th of July. Let's make that baby 5, 6 p.m. Let's maybe I never you watch TV on the 4th of July. Only the hot dog eating contest. Really? Yeah, I see. I get it. I always put it right in the middle of the boat parade.

Put that in the afternoon. Maybe a little later. There was a boat parade. I don't think I've ever turned on the TV on the boat. Parade happens at the lake. So I'm at the lake. The boat parade always starts like 10 30 11 o'clock. But so is the hot dog eating contest. And then I'm caught between a hot dog and a boat and I don't know which one to choose. You know, well, which one have you historically? I, I always choose hot dogs. Oh, I didn't know. You know, miles, I learned a lot about you. I never noticed.

I never noticed that you were such a big hot dog guy. Yeah, just on the 4th of July. It's it's just the fourth. Yeah. Well, good. Good for you. Good on you. Good to you. Yeah, I'm sorry miles I got to admit to you. I got super distracted by something if You look into my glass right? You talking about the shadow the shadow it's what do you okay?

So we got our tippy cow glasses here If you drink right to the right amount of liquid the way that the light is hitting the glass There's an upside down cow on the glass. But when the shadow gets cast on the liquid inside the glass, it's an, it's a right side up, right side up. And I just am like, am I, I mean, this was a stone move a thousand, some stoner at the company was like,

this is how we got to do it. Kind of cool. It's so cool. That's really folks, by the way, you know, this Fourth of July. Why don't you tip it on back with a tippy cow? How do you like that? You like that organic integration? I like that. I like that. And shout out to tippy cows marketing team, because I mean,

the glass, you know, the shadowing. That's super cool, man. Yeah. Anyway, I hope we can do a visual representation of it on the podcast, because I know, Miles, you you tried, but I don't think any words can describe how kind of cool that is. Yeah. Well, so we take some call. Let's take some callers. Let's do it. Yeah. Hello there guys. This is Josh. Hey, Josh. How you doing my guy? Josh, where you from?

I'm from Southwest Louisiana, a little bitty town that nobody knows of. Southwest, the heel of the boot. Right. Does Louisiana look like a boot? Yeah. the heel of the boot, right? Does Louisiana look like a boot? Yeah. Yeah, it does. Yeah, he's from- Just a boot to your mitten. Josh-

What's the capital of Louisiana? Boot and Rouge. Baton Rouge. Oh, choose your dear old mouse. He said boot and rouge. Get it? Do you hear what Josh said? The boot to my mitten.

That was really, it was fun. Sorry, Josh, I missed what you said. Oh, which part? I don't know. Why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind. Your mind. I don't really have a job.

All right. So I had a question for you guys. OK, what's the Midwest equivalent to a crawfish boil? Oh, well, I mean, we got a few equivalents to a crawfish boil. One would say a fish boil. Another would say a fish fry, you know, one of those things, because I think you got crawfish boil, you kind of just dump it all out on a plate. I would say the closest thing is probably a fish boil or a pickled fish salad. You know, you get a bunch of fish, you get a bunch of veggies in there. You get the northern pike with the white bones.

You don't want to clean the white bones. You just chop them up, put in there, pickle it. My uncle Joe makes a great one. But you can just kind of dump it out into a smorgasbord. We got a couple options. But anyway, why do you ask? You know just being nosy just chilling out on a Wednesday What that's I'm interested in happening tonight do tell So over here somebody stole a truck and drove into a convenience store and stole her ATM. That's very inconvenient. That took that. That took the head convenience

store and turn it into an inconvenient store. Did she, what miles did right there? Did you see that? Oh yeah. I see what he did. I'm going to head down to the thing. Right. I'm going to head down to the inconvenience story. You got to go through all the rubble to get inside. Probably pretty convenient for them though. You think they got a good haul out of that or did they get pulled over by the pokey? I was a stolen truck and they crashed in the ditch not far from my sister's house. Okay. So this has got to be the talk of the town. Sounds like you're in a small town or something like this happens. Got about nine, 800 people in it. Yeah. So you, I mean, this has got to be the talk of the town. Is it the talk of the town? You probably know it did. Oh, we got a picture

right here. Hold up. Holy, I can, it looks like a clean break right through. Yeah. They knew the weak spot. Oh my God. Oh like a clean break right through. Yeah. They knew the wig spot. Oh my God. Oh yeah. Y'all found it. Yeah. So what they just backed up into it through the ATM in the back of the bed into the truck and drove off. That's pretty much what I'm gathering. Yeah. Who did it? We don't know that much. This is a classic who done it. Yeah. Who do you think done it? You know, everyone in the town. I don't know everybody, but had to guess probably someone who stole that truck. Okay. That's good detective work. Do you think there was any meth involved? It seems like a meth written accidentidden accident. It smells a little meth-y. Oh, definitely

meth-involved. Oh yeah. Yeah. Most robberies do have meth-involved. I've seen the case. I had a buddy who got robbed by a bunch of meth-heads. Meth. Oh yeah, that's pretty much how it goes. Yeah. It's not the breakfast of champions. I'll tell you that much. Well, what else is going on in your town? Aside from the lack of one less ATM. I think the rest is just the normal. Well. People going about their business, wondering about that ATM.

Listen, listen, I understand your, where you're coming from of just like, well an ATM got stolen and that's kind of that. This is an unsolved crime right now. All right, and you're just from of just like, well, an ATM got stolen and that's kind of that. This is an unsolved crime right now. All right, and you're just sitting there on your ass in the boot of Louisiana not solving the crime. It's time for you to start contributing to society. This is your calling.

Get up out of the lazy boy, go to where that truck was found and start looking for clues. They might've left something in, maybe some footprints on the grass over there you never know do you track a deer ever? I know but I've tracked some ducks before. Alright you gotta start looking for droppings yeah look yeah to see if

there's any math droppings yes they're they're like rabbit pellets. Just yeah. Looking for your food prints. Yeah. Use needles and that anything you start getting through the woods, seeing what that's the best case scenario. You find the worst case scenario. You get out in the woods. You're enjoying life. You know, best case you can solve a crime. Worst case you see a new woodpecker. Well, Charlie, you know, I do like sensor now a true crime podcast.

I have a question for you. I'd like you to tell me what you think the perfect crime is. I mean, I think I think we've witnessed a perfect crime right now. They definitely got caught. They didn't get caught. They haven't been caught. That's why I told him to go figure it out. They're at large. Yeah. OK. Well, I mean, perfect crime so far. Y'all know the craziest thing about this? What's the craziest thing? The craziest thing about this is that the chief of police

owns that store. Oh! Oh, we've gone from a classic whodunit to a full gone conspiracy. Josh, I think that this was an inside job, my guy. And I think that's that's why it hasn't been solved yet. Because the chief of police kind of weird how much they're dragging their feet. Yeah. Now, Miles, how are you going to let your own store get robbed?

Yeah. And the insurance money. My no miles stop. Stop talking at this point from a journalistic standpoint, because obviously we're journalists. We have to say allegedly before any accusations. Well, this is probably an alleged this is for sure. Alleged possible. There is one could see how someone with police connections could figure out how no one could figure out

who stole an ATM collect some insurance money and also take the the atom how did they get the ATM was the ATM still in the truck I think yeah it was in the bed of the truck it was broken into into. Oh, so they broke in, they got their money and they, Oh, take the money and run. All I know is when this inevitably goes to trial, the lawyers better make sure no one tries on a glove because that could be disastrous. Yeah. Cause you know what they'll say? No glove, no love. No, if it don't fit you, it's a cool, Speaker 4. Yeah. That's how it goes. So we have, I mean, this is a conspiracy theory. We have chief chief of police involved. You own the convenience store. We have the chief police on a convenience store. Probably bought

it with his money. Oh, well, I think he's hired it. Oh, he inherited it. She, that's, that's what I'm talking about. It's tough to get a convenience store on a police chief's salary. I think I don't know that there. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me what are some of the murmurs that are going around the small town right now? Maybe who did it seems speculative that the police chief owns the store? What? There any rumors going around right now? Not that I'm aware of. I haven't really talked to anybody about it yet.

I just got told about my sister told me about it because, you know, truck crashed by her house. So that's about all I know right now boys. What do you do for a living that's more important than solving this frigging crime Josh? I'm a school bus monitor. What do you mean? All right. So I ride with the substitute drivers and keep an eye on the kids and help them with

their actions. ride with the substitute drivers and keep an eye on the kids and help them with their actions. So you, you do ride alongs with bus drivers pretty much. So that's where all our government money is going. We're paying two bus drivers for one bus. It's going on with the new drivers miles. You can't just send it. Are you kidding me? It's a great way to spend public funds. You can't send a new driver out with a bus full of kids. The one kid, probably you miles, is going to smell the weakness and start fricking with the bus driver, hijack that thing, back it into a convenience store, steal the atom, and then they're off on the, on the deal, ripping it out, going

through the woods and hanging out with meth heads. I mean, how dare you question it? Yeah, I think you know that. Yeah, I did. Josh, don't worry. Hey, I am in full support of you doing this job right now. I know. And the reason Miles was questioning it is he was that kid that would have been hijacking that school. Well, lots of spitballs Yeah, it would have started off. Yeah, but balls

But you sense that what if you'd ever be that's what he's being You know spitballs is a gateway drug to stealing ATMs from convenience stores. It is right Yeah, it all starts with one spitball. It's a slippery spitty slope after that. So what are some of the stuff you got to deal with as the bus super moderator monitor superintendent kids who were just like you were acting spitballs and shit breaking up by little argument. Are you guys still allowed to use the rulers to discipline or is that frowned upon now?

I don't guys talking to my dad. Was that that I don't know. I'm always talking about tomato sauce. That sounds good. Is that your dad? Yep. Yeah. That's my dad. Can you ask him what he knows about the burglary? What do you know about the burglary and how I know that somebody back the truck up, they found the truck. It was stolen. In fact, the truck broke the front end of the lawn. Y'all's open and they found the truck down Elliott road, Miranda's house. Yep. That's all we know right now. Does he know any details about how much cash was stolen? No, we don't know that. How much cash was stolen?

Look, I promise you that cash machine has a tractor in it. They know exactly where it's at right now. For sure. It was still in the bed of the truck when they found the truck. Can we switch the as a tractor in it? They know exactly where it's at right now. For sure. It was still embedded a truck and found a truck. Don't know. They didn't say, huh? Does he think it was an inside job? Yeah. Ask him that. Do you think it was an inside job because of the chief of police? No, no.

Why not? Because I ain't never heard nothing bad about cruise yet. Now it could have been the last chief police that a, what's his name? Sean Sean. Then out of that old shit, Sean done made him some money. All right, dad, tell your dad, we says, hi, it's your family. All right. Well, he said hi. Real good. Okay. So, all right. Good to know the current police of police chief is a, he's a, he's a straight shooter, but the old guy, Sean kind of a piece of shit probably would have done it. Who knows? Sean, Sean may have done this in retaliation of losing his chief of police job to new guy.

Oh, maybe we may have a new lead. I feel like we're on CSI Louisiana right now. Yeah, also, I just learned where I just learned where a cop came from. Chief of Police. Oh, cop. No, I got that. I don't know if that's true or not. It's true. I just thought of it. No. What would be the tagline if this was a CSI, you know, right before they do the intro, they do the opening scene

and then he takes off his glasses and says a one-liner, what would be the one-liner? This guy lost more than his pin. Wow. Honestly, I think they would walk through the doors and say, this place is wide open. Yeah. Or, ah, doors and say this place is wide open. Yeah. Or, ah, where are you drinking that today? Or are you changing this up? We're not done yet.

Let's withdraw from his. All right. Ah, I lost it. Yeah. I mean, we can go convenience store again, You know, yeah, no, that's convenient. Well, this convenience store sure seems inconvenient. Yeah. So we're we're over at the packing house in Milwaukee. You want to fly up here right next to the airport? Yeah, I mean, he's got a he's a, he's got a crime to solve. Charlie,

you can't be fleeing the state. That's true. Now, wouldn't it be something if he was the one that did this and this is his alibi? I mean, that would be hilarious. Did you do it? Well, Josh, I got a, I got an alibi. Well, that was your alibi. Josh. I was drinking a Miller high life is two 30 AM. What's the time? It sounds like someone who maybe robbed a convenience store would say, yeah, who are you doing? Come with Josh. My dogs, your dogs. Oh, convenient. They can't talk. Yeah. Hey, put your dog on the phone. I want to talk to your dog. Put that dog. Tell your dog. Tell your dog. I says this.

Oh, Oh You better do it just like that Josh That dog's gonna go homeward bound on your ass if you don't do that deal, okay He's gonna be running his way to Wisconsin to tell me the real Frickin culprit you better have been drinking that pooch. He's a blue healer. He's going to get distracted by a cow before he makes it to Milwaukee. Josh, I got to tell you, you're not giving us a whole lot of hope

to think you didn't steal that ATM. Well, I didn't steal no truck. But your dad might have like something someone would say he didn't want us to think't steal no truck. But your dad might have. Sounds like something someone would say who didn't want us to think he stole a truck. Yeah. And maybe you are telling the truth, but your dad might be in on it too, Josh. Yeah.

Well, if he's in on it, then it's for him for living the retirement life. I think you guys are trying to frame that former chief of police. Sean, Sean, I'm going to call the Louisiana Sun. Plan a little story in here, a little plan, a little seed in their brain. I know you're talking about good journalism, Charlie. Yeah, it's 2024.

It's dead. All right. Well, honestly, good luck on the, on the case. Good luck finding evidence. I know you call us back once you find him. Cause I don't know if I'm be able to sleep very good at night knowing that there's a criminal at large currently in the boot of Louisiana. All right. All right. Hey, that's good. Yeah. Watch out for gators and snakes and creepy crawlies and pickups and ATMs. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, for dear. All right. Thanks my guy. We see you soon. My favorite part of the call was that his dad had, you know, he was, I don't know anything yet, but he came off fire. It's not the current chief of police. He's got the dirt on the old guy. So I like that he comes off firing on it. Yeah. Good, good dad. You know, Josh

is a nice guy too. I hope he wasn't offended. We accused him of potentially being involved in this, but he did start everyone's a suspect In our mind unless proven innocent. We're all suspicious Anyway, should we take another caller? Welcome to the belly to podcast who we talking to Michaela plant yes Yes. Well, hello. I have been trying to get on the line for so long. Hi. Well, you're here. Yeah. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming on. We appreciate you. Yeah. Why don't you belly up and tell us what's on your mind?

All right. So everyone usually does a dollar dance for their wedding. Well, my fiance and I aren't really big fans of the dollar dance. So we thought, Hey, let's do a raffle instead and give out some prizes and then people can buy raffle tickets. And you know, that can be how we can, I guess, get some money. Okay. Really bad way of putting. Okay. So explain for the folks what a dollar dance is. I believe it is at your wedding reception, the guests pay a dollar to dance with you or your fiance, your husband at that time, and then you guys get the cash, correct? It's really correct.

Yeah. It's interesting. Cause I'm, I don't think I ever have done a dollar dance at a wedding. So this must be like a Minnesota thing or a Minnesota, North Dakota thing. It's definitely a Minnesota thing. Yes. They, they are constantly doing this this. All my cousins have done it But it's so awkward, you know

Yeah, you pay a dollar or five bucks and then you just sit there and dance for a few seconds and then you move on to the Expert. Yeah, I didn't really like it. Yeah, why don't you want to do that? You're What what don't you like about it? I don't know my fiance and I aren't really big dancers and we just kind of, we just, we just want to have fun and we just kind of want it to be a way to get more people interacting and sort of having fun. Plus, I mean, a lot of friends and family are big Polk tabs people. So why not incentivize that as like almost a gambling?

Yeah, I like that. More real root of this is, is they're doing the math on how many guests are coming. And if they only pay one dollar and how much time would they get with that? They're not looking at very much money. Right. I think they think they can make a lot more money with a raffle. Well, and on top of that, you know, it's your wedding day. You know, you're not working northern exposure. You know, someone shouldn't have to pay you for a dance.

You know, I don't like that. Paying the bride for that. Yeah. Do you feel kind of like a stripper? You know, nothing against strippers, you know, I mean, I know it's always a slow song, too. So you're just sort of swaying with random people. I mean, sure, they're family and friends, but it's just, you know, I'm going to slow dance with somebody.

Yeah. You want to be the guy that you're going home with that night, you know, hopefully your husband. Plus, you know, you don't want your creepy uncle getting in on the dollar. You know, he jumps back in line a few times. Yeah. Oh, God, not again. Yeah. Rick, go sit down and have another drink. Yeah. Not leaving enough room for the Holy Spirit on your wedding night. It's like, come on now. Yeah, it's kind of kind of what I'm thinking.

You know, it's a, it's a traditional Catholic wedding. So, you know, there's definitely going to be some alcohol there. Yeah. You got to turn that traditional Catholic wedding into an old fashioned Catholic wedding. Well, what is, what does that mean? Old fashioned? I get some Barron's brandy and start handing it out. Oh yeah. Did you know that we got Barron's old fashioned Brandy? Thanks for the plug, Miles. I appreciate it. Actually, my fiance and I did buy some. He is a he's a big fan of them. No kidding. Well, that's really good. Yeah. You got to tell him I says hi and thanks for doing it.

That's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, you gave him a little shout out when we saw you up in Brainerd. He he was wearing the Ditch Chickens hat, which I was searching forever to find that hat in the Orange Camel. He wanted Orange Camel, not just orange. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I tell you what, Sundus, we're going to reach out to you, get your address and we'll send you a nice case of the brandy for your wedding. Well, what do you think about you sponsoring an open bar at their way? Miles shut the hell up. How does that sound? No, no, no. You know, we can't do that. We can't, you know, it's only so much money. I can't, you know, the bar, it's not in the Barron's branding, marketing, marketing budget to sponsor open bars. Not an open bar. I mean, you guys would be able to come and then you can have

all the brandy and beer you want. We're having Bush light on the bush light on tap. Yeah. How about this? I'll be the DJ. You could be the officiant, Charlie, you know, if I officiate your wedding, I gotta tell you, I don't want to be cut off. All right. This ain't the Oscars. No, they better not start playing the DJ. Better not start playing me walk off music. Cause you know, I'll tell you what the two of us, let me tell you, there's something

special between the two of you. It's me. That's, that's my opening joke. I do it often, but, uh, okay. Well, I said I will not be cut off. I'm going to cut you off, Charlie. You've had a little too much brandy. All right. Um, so the question was, as you were talking about a raffle, are you thinking meat raffle? What are you doing? 50 50. What are you thinking for the raffle? Well, that's kind of what we were trying to figure out is what should the prizes be? We

figured we could do a little bit of a tier system where we have, it's a little bit of, there's a couple of smaller prizes, like a couple of $25 gift cards or $50 gift cards, the fleet farm or culvers or something. And then we would do, we have a metal cutout of a walleye that we thought we would get, you know, put up there too. But we're trying to think of a grand prize. We're trying to think of like a couple biggerger more grand prize type things we thought maybe a fishing bucket filled with bunch of tackle some fishing rods You might be a wedding You might be a lot. Yeah, I so I know a guy I know a guy who's got an entire merchandise printing operation

And not too far from you now, Fargo, North Dakota. And I bet you he's got a website too. Got a website called, Oh, You Betcha. I want you to pick about 10 things off that, email it over to us. That's gonna be a nice, and we'll have every piece signed. It'll be great. We'll put it in a little package.

Yeah. I mean, I'll send her a package to raffle off miles. Miles will send you a package of, of, um, great merge, which you could get on all you bet you.com. I'll send you a case of Brandy and, um, you know, uh, we'll I'll sign one of the bottles or I'll sign all the bottles and then, uh, you know, you'll I'll sign one of the bottles or I'll sign all the bottles. And then, you know, you got free booze. And I think that the real raffle, you should do the door. The big prize. You should do a gun raffle. I mean, you could you can do 20 bucks.

You can do 20 bucks, 30 bucks a ticket for a gun raffle. Yeah, people get all. Yeah. Get out. Oh, what? I forget what part of Minnesota are you in again? So the wedding will be in St. Cloud. Oh sure. Yeah. So, so you guys don't know how that works exactly with a gun raffle because I know Minnesota can be a little a little testy with guns. Don't ask for permission to ask for forgiveness. Just do a shotgun because, um, cause then you can do like birds, a lot of bird hunting up there, you know, shotgun. Yeah. Wait, what did you say? There'd be a lot of birds at the wedding.

No, there'll be a lot of bird hunters at the wedding. But here's the thing. You know, if I, if, oh, instead of doing a dollar dance, I'm like, damn, I wanted there's a shotgun on the raffle. I'll maybe buy four, five, six, seven, eight, nine tickets. And I'm going to be in that drawing. And I want to leave this wedding with a brand new shotgun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, would you rather do a shotgun or would you rather do a, like a meat cooler type thing? Cause we thought about doing that too, or it's like you get a nice igloo cooler, not yet expensive, you know, and, uh, they fill it with a bunch of meat, maybe a case of beer or something. I do like the meat raffle. Cause then it's an actual meat raffle.

Now that's good. Now some liability, because you know, you can't take your, your, you know, 2018 raccoon from the fridge and some people might, if they get digestive issues that might come back on you. That's the only concern there. Well, no, no, only the two day old, uh, deer roadkill on the side. Okay. Some nice backstraps freshish.

I like that. The other thing you could do, if you don't like a shotgun, you could do a shot ski. That's true. Oh, true. You know, very true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think you just got to turn this. You're not at a wedding anymore.

You're now just running a charity raffle event. Yeah. The charity is your guys' honeymoon. It's the most midway. Oh, that's where the money goes to the honeymoon fund. I think so. Oh, OK. I was saying this. Yeah, that's great.

Yeah. I was thinking maybe a new house would be cool, too. Smarter. Honeymoon fund works. Smarter. How much money? How many people are you inviting? You think you can get enough money to make a dent in a house payment?

Well, it wouldn't be much of a dent. It'd be more of a If we need to make any repairs Little rainy day fund. Yeah. Okay. Do you like your fiance everything going good with you guys? Oh Do you like your fiancee? Everything going good with you guys? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He is. He's such a big fan of you guys, too. His name's Matt. I love him so much. Oh, I love to hear it. Now, tell me this. How many times are we from Wisconsin? He's from Wisconsin. You found yourself a nice Wisconsin boy.

I did. We met down in the Twin Cities and I made a move from Janesville, Wisconsin, all the way to Brainerd, Minnesota. Oh my, Hey, good ice fishing up there though. Um, that's true. Okay. How much, uh, planning has your fiance done for this wedding? I need to know. Surprisingly a lot of planning. Like he has been very good about helping me contact people, about also sending out save the dates and giving me opinions. Like he's been really good about all of this.

Well, good on him. You found a good one. You really did. Hey, I found one more way for you to raise money for your home repairs. How's that? Get yourself a long haired friend, okay. And ask if they'll donate their hair and their donations at the wedding.

No, no, no. Get one, one long haired fella. Don't do this at the way and do it like the week before from that hair. What I want you to do is get some gel and make a bunch of Paul Bunyan mustaches like the one they got up there in Brainerd. And then you stick them on your nose and then everyone's got a Paul Bunyan stash. I'd pay five bucks for a Bunyan stash. Oh really?

That's a great idea. We do it after we eat though. Yeah, after you eat. Otherwise that's a lot of stash in the food, you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean you can just tell me you don't like the idea. I thought it was genius, but. No, it's funny. It's good. It's good. Genius, funny, interchangeable. You can use them at this point.

Midwest nice or creepy? Oh, man. I've been told Minnesotans are pretty good definition of the Midwest night. Oh, man. I've been told Minnesotans are pretty good definition of the Midwest night, so. Oh yeah, yeah, sure are. Well, we are so excited for you. We've given you a lot of ideas. You got free booze, free merch coming your way.

You get mustaches or guns. You got your pick of the pot right there. And get a nice piece of taxidermy in that deal as well. All right. Okay. All right. Yeah. If I hit a deer between now and your wedding, I'll taxidermy the hell out of

that hat, I'll send it over to you. See what you should be. All right. As long as it's me and not as long as it's you and not me. Yeah. No, I'll send it over to you. See what you should be. As long as me and not as long as you and not me. Yeah. No, I can stuff it good. Suck the brain out. Well, I mean, I meant hitting it, you know. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, I got you.

Unless we're hunting it, then I'd prefer I get one. But, you know, I hope you got one, too. Hey, I appreciate that. The only way I can get them is with the frigging car, it seems. So well, I appreciate it calling in. Good luck on that rainy day. Fun for your future house and tell your fiance we says hi. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do tell your folks.

They says, hey, and Charlie, quit hitting them deer. You got to be able to hunt them. I know I got to drive slower. Slow down, homie. And look at the look at the sides of the road as much as the road. Extend the peripheral peripheral vision. And hey, where there's one, there's more. All right. There's many. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Have a good one. You too. Thanks, Yeah. Yeah. Have a good one. You too. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Someday we're going to look back and we're going to go. What was the point that we knew that Charlie had given up? And it was when he gave the advice that you shave someone's head and turn the hair into Paul Bunyan mustaches and sell them at a wedding for the records. That's the moment that Charlie's officially given. I think I gave up episodes ago miles, but now we know for sure. You know, nail in the

car. Well, pin the pin, the Paul Bunyan stash on the wedding goer. You know, I think it's a great idea. Have you guys seen the Paul Bunyan and Brainerd? You guys see, do you know what the Paul Bunyan? Paul Bunyan, there's only one in Brainerd, my guy. I know. But I'm a you want me. You want to see him? Paul Bunyan, Brainerd? Yeah, I feel like you don't know how cool this stashes. Hang on. Oh, so we did our caller.

Not yet. But onion brainer brainer. What the frick? Oh, that's the one in Bemidji. Yeah, this Paul Bunyan's got a full on beard. Oh, what a terrible piece of advice. Oh, man. Well, this pop up. Yeah, publicans got a beard on a must. Oh, man. Well, this public is going to be a must. Oh, OK. I hope she's still listening. Well, the public brainer has a porno stash.

This Paul Bunyan, though, you know what she should she should have done? Miles, you got to go this wedding in your best lumberjack and boots and jeans. Sit on a little looks like a box of some sort, and then just take Santa pictures, except you're Paul Bunyan. People can sit on your lap and would love it. Um, you know, that's how you got, I wish I should have Googled that image while she was still on the horn and then you would have gotten out of sending a gift package.

You could just brought it in your car with you. I would have gotten out of it. Yeah. Say, should we take another caller? Folks, you heard it in the intro and I'm still looking at my glass of tippy cow. You should go to t to typical's website. Get yourself typical.

Yeah. But get the glasses too. They got this upside down cow and, and it's when it, when the, of course the, they did brilliantly with the overhead lights, because when you're drinking typical, it's going to be in, you know, it's kind of a bar setting situation with a lot of overhead lights. Cass's shadow down on that upside down cow. The reflection on the glass is a right side up cow.

And when you drink tippy cow, I think the lesson is you tip the cow upright when the cow is in your glass. Anything to add, Miles? Not I think you nailed it. Is that why you're going like? Well, it's you drink enough tippy cow and eventually the cow turns right side up.

That's it. That's it, because you got to get underneath that portion. Yeah. Hey, drink enough tippy cow to tip that cow the right side up. God, it's genius at the cow tips up. Yeah. I wish I thought of that. Anyways, see, that's a cool human brain move right there. Gotta appreciate it. Ladies and gentlemen, start your lawyer.

Let Nikolay Law light up your lawyer. It's 4th of July. Oh, it's 4th of July. That's why, that's why, that's why. Folks, it's the's fourth of July. Oh, it's fourth of July. That's why. That's why. That's why folks. It's the fourth of July. And what better way to celebrate the fourth of July than to call a lawyer. Exactly. Cause you know, you know, big fireworks is out there right now. Just wait in their shop, waiting for those injuries to come in. They're going to say,

wasn't me, you know, they're going, was he lighting on the was he lighting on the sofa? Wasn't me. Was it close to his hand? Wasn't me. You know, was he looking at the firework? Was it me? Did he do it as friends? Wasn't me. Anyway, so Nikolai Law is here to say no, no, no, it was you. Okay. And so you get

injured. You call Nikolai law though. They'll help you out. If anyone can help you, they're going to light up the big firework and they're also going to light up your bank account a little bit. Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who do we have the honor of chit chatting with today? My name is Dalton from Arlington, Ohio. Dalton from Arlington, Ohio. How you doing Dalton? You have a good day?

Yep. Just got home from work. Where do you work at? I work for a livestock company here in Ohio. Good day. Yep. Just got home from work. Where do you work at? Work for a livestock company here in Ohio. I go around there, do maintenance on all their finisher hog barns. So like those long barns is he on like side of the highway and stuff. Yeah. A lot of methane in those.

Yeah. Pretty stinky job. Yeah. Yup. That's on those. A lot of methane in those. Yeah. Pretty stinky job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Gotta be careful not to get any methane poisoning. Gotta keep that ventilation system good. It paid the bills. Yeah. Nice. Good for you. Well, why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind. So just recently moved and bought a house in another small town here in Ohio. Went to their local bar a couple of times. And it reminds me of that scene from wild hogs. So wasn't it walking to the bar and everybody stares at them? Yup. Kind of like, how do you become good with the locals at a small town bar that you've never been to? OK.

This is a great question, Dalton. This is a great question, Dalton. So Charlie, how do you make friends with people at a small town bar? Well, first things first, you come with gifts. Do not leave your house without a pocketful pocket jerky. All right, people are gonna wanna try the newest kill. So make sure that you're focusing on your jerky recipe

so when they taste it, you can't judge a book by a cover, but you can judge a Dalton by his jerky, all right? You can't judge a book by his cover, but you can judge a man by his jerky. And so. You can't judge a book by his cover, but you can judge a man by his jerky. And so, Dalton, it's your first thing that you got to do is make sure you get a good jerky recipe going and keep them pockets filled to the brim.

All right. You never know how many people are going to be in that bar, and it's cheaper than buying everyone drinks. But if you do have some money flowing through you, buying everyone around one time can really help seal the deal off the bat. What do you think, Myles? Well, that's what I was going to say. I think you got to assume that the locals are not going to like you at first.

And the way that you get locals to like you is not by trying to become friends with them. In fact, to become friends with someone in a small town bar, you need to not try and be friends with them because then they're going to like that you're not trying to push them in the direction of being friends. If that makes sense, Charlie. It does. So you walk in, you maybe give them a nod, but you go on your way. You sit at the end of the bar, you drink your drink every, and then all of a sudden one time someone's going to give you a, Hey, new guy, what are you drinking? And then you better,

that's your opening to be able to chit chat with them. You better have some gossip around town. That always helps a little bit of tea to spill. Yep. And so you got to play it cool. Don't try and come to Adam right away. That's going to make them clam up. The other thing you can do Dalton is you'll look for the influencers in the bar. All right. Your bar influencers. Now I use the influencer term, just so the kids know what I'm talking about these days. But long before there were social media influencers, there were small town bar influencers, specifically the bartender and the priest. OK, you got to get on the good side of the bartender and the priest because they will be in that bar the more than anyone.

Everything runs through the bartender and the priest at the bar. And with the priest, you started off nice and easy. Hey father, how you doing? Uh, you doing confessions today or no, you know, kind of a little light ribbing, you know, and sometimes he'll actually do your confession right there at the bar. Cause we're two are gathered in his name. That is a church. Bible says that. So technically you can do confessions at the bar. Now, I'm not a priest. I wouldn't fact check that with a priest, but that seems to be the going deal around the small town bar.

And the other thing, the bartender. So, Miles, how do you get on the good side of the bartender? First of all, you're going to get on the good side of the bartender. You got to tip well, maybe even pre tip. Just put your cash right there on the bar when you order your first one. They know you got good intentions, right, Charlie? They know that that tips coming. I think the other thing is you got to be patient at that bar rail.

Even if it takes a while to get a drink, you don't throw off a hissy fit, a fuss or anything like that is the sure way to get on the wrong side of the bartender. Don't you dare. I don't care if it's crowded and you're being ignored. Don't start peacocking. Don't start, you know, leaning on the bar, trying to make eye contact, pulling up the $5 bill. Don't start waving cash around. Just put the money right there on the thing. Sit nice and watch the game going on on the TV, whatever the game is. All you're looking for with the bartender is eye contact. Nothing more. Yeah. Gentle eye contact. Soft. Don't go staring them down. If they're

looking the other way, they can feel those eyes like daggers on you. Maybe a soft smile and high eyebrows really Let some know that you're you're like hey and that that just screams. It's like you're telling them Hey, I know you're working hard and life's tough and you know, it's it's not your life Isn't all it cracked up to be you thought you would be a Engineer at this time in your life, but I know you're not and I know you're working hard behind the bar I can wait for my drink. That look says all of that in one shot. And I'll also say this.

A lot of bartenders, this is their Super Bowl. This is what they have worked their whole life for. And so some of them take it very, very seriously. So what I would do, I'd almost take a 20 spot. Now I know that's a big bill right there, an A Jackson. Okay, and you put that down there and you get the cheapest drink you can and you say, oh no, the rest is for you.

That first tip will pay dividends over the course. They're gonna be like, what do you know, the other patron, but what do you know about that guy? Oh, he's nice, you know, that's what they'll say. But they'll say it because, you know, you sweeten the deal. You lubed it up a little, you know, you grease the wheels. You put WD 40 on the rusty screw. All right. So. And now that you've done all this, you're kind of in the doorway. Right.

You're thinking, wow, I got some potential new friends. I should probably be nice to them. Do not be nice to them. You need to perfect the art of razzing and ball busting because that's the language that local patrons of a small town bar speak. And in order to kind of put a chaser on your ball busting acts of service. OK, if you couple ball busting with acts of service, people know you're good. So you be attentive to the bar. You know, if you see the bartender like Jones in a little bit, you'd be like, hey, you need to take a cigarette break.

I'll watch the bar for you for a little bit. Now, that's that's a big one. You don't want to start off with that one, but eventually work up to to that point. Other things you do go to the potty, check out the toilet paper stash. If they need a new toilet paper set up, say, hey, you want me to change out the toilet paper, just tell me where it is. If not, I'll be over here. But you are low on the teepee.

Yeah. Bartenders distracted with a big group on the other side of the bar. They forgot about the frozen pizza that's cooking in the teepee. Yeah. Bar tenders distracted with a big group on the other side of the bar. They forgot about the frozen pizza that's cooking in the pizza oven. Just do a little peek at it to make sure that it's not burning up. Yeah. Take a look at the lighting. All right. Now, sometimes dim lighting is preferred, but if you see a fluorescent light bulb doing the for excuse me, if you see a fluorescent light bulb doing the little flickery, do that, bring them in a few, a few of them long light bulbs. All right.

You fluorescent bulbs go a long way in the bar industry and just put them in a box on the table. Say, Hey, I had a few of these in the truck. I know you may not want to replace these bulbs. They seem to have a few more flickers to go, but when the time's right, I'm just going to put these right here for you. Um, you know, and uh, so basically what you need to do is you need to just get a job at this bar essentially without getting paid. Actually you are paying to have a job at this bar. That's essentially how you make it in with the locals. It's an honor though.

I mean, these are acts of service. This is straight out of the Bible. OK, any of the religious books acts of service go a long way. And let's be honest, you know, that's the Midwest way right there. That's how we show our love. What do you think of that? Sounds like I need to go get another part time job at the bar. He's starting to catch on. I think you still hope for you to make some friends after all.

What's the name of this bar, by the way? The blue room in Kirby, Ohio, the blue room, Kirby, Ohio. I like that. Yeah. Tell us about this bar. It's got it's sprint car theme. So all along all the walls are just like old pictures of older tracks or you know, certain drivers and stuff. And then there's a kind of like a banquet room or like a bigger room in the back with couple arcade games. But other than that, it's just mostly just a bar up front with a couple of tables and seems like your guys is kind of place. Yeah. We got to get down there. I feel what are of the tactics. I've got a show in van word, Charlie. I mean, it's not super far from van word.

There you go. Where do I have a show? Oh, you have a show in van word, Ohio later this year. Well, gosh, darn it. You're right about that. Well, shoot, I'll be right over. Maybe I'll bring miles with me. No, that sounds like trouble. There is trouble.

So of the of the stuff we threw up there, are there any of the catch in your eye that you may try out next time you're there? Oh, probably throwing a 20 down on the bar before I get my first drink and see how far that gets me. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. What else?

Probably just, I guess, not being super impatient and just waiting my turn. Probably not getting rowdy in there. The first couple of times I go in there. Yeah. No, just to fly on the wall. Yeah. And, um, forgot to mention this, but as you get in and out of your bar stool, miles, can you demonstrate? Yeah. Yup. Now the sit. Oh, there you go.

They'll know that you got some back issues, whether you have them or not, it's important to have back issues in a small town bar. All right? You know, and every once in a while, if you want to give a sciatica, you know what I mean? They'll think you lifted rocks at some point in your life and they'll appreciate that about you. And don't wear clean boots there either.

Well, my other question is, it's mostly like somewhat of an older crowd in there. I'm only 22, so there's something that I could do as a young person and I'll make them think I'm just some young kid. Yeah, here's what you do is you sit down and they got the wheel of fortune on. You need to keep it there. But if they got some other dumb show on, you need to announce to the bartender that you want to put mash on the TV. Yeah. I mean, miles, that's a great idea. Old people are suckers for mash. Love the mash. My dad still brings up jokes from mash. You know, he'll say a joke. No

one will laugh. And it'll be like, you guys haven't seen that episode of mash. And we'll be like, ah, no. But I think that's a, and if, if mash isn't on the TV, you, you go out and you find a VCR and bring that VCR in with a bunch of, you know, the classic cassette tapes. Well, VHS VHS is that's what I mean. Find some VHS is of mash. You should be able to get that off of eBay or something that that's the gift that will keep on giving before you know it. They'll be buying you drinks. Your silence says it all. You're doing a good job.

Yeah. I mean, I want to be friends with you at the bar right now. Oh, the other thing on Facebook marketplace looking for mass VCRs. Yeah, he's already taking the meal. Hey, also come the winter. This very important. Keep a shovel in the back of your car. At first snow, you get over to the bar, you shovel the walk.

Yeah. All right. Again, back to just having another job. Yep. So congratulations on your new job and we're excited for you to, you know, make some new friends over at, over at your- Blue room.

The blue room. All right. Well, I appreciate you guys taking my call. You betcha you keep her moving out there and watch for deer. Okay. Appreciate all your guys' content and tell your folks and I said hi. Will do. You betcha we will have a good one, man. See ya. Well, Charlie, that was, I don't want to toot our own horns a little bit, but think we knocked that one right out the park there. My I'm going to touch them all. Yeah. That was great. The bases, the bases. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want

that. Well, unclear miles. Is that another day at the office? Charlie? I suppose it's about that time clock out for another, another episode of the office, Charlie? I suppose it's about that time. Clock out for another episode of The Bellied Up. And folks, make sure you watch for deer. If you hit a deer, bring the backstraps over to your small town bar. That'll go a long way. And when you're there, always tip your bartender.

We'll see you soon, folks. Love you guys.