Bellied Up - One Extremely Expensive Catfish #178

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

Check Out Charlie’s New Special Neighborly LINK HERE(34:42) First up, we’ve got a caller from the South who wants the rundown on ice fishing for the first time. (01:06:24) Then another caller tells us the wild story of his uncle getting catfished.https://prizepicks.onelink.me/ivHR/be...⁠⁠⁠use promo code: belliedup

Oh, hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast. I'm here, Bellied Up to the Bar with my good buddy and yours, Miles, the you betcha guy. How are we doing, Charles? Miles, we're doing today, man, we're doing, feeling good, special came out this week. Pretty cool. What do you, okay, what do you say you're feeling good this week? Yeah. Imagine you have days you're not feeling too good.

Yeah, I got days I'm not feeling good. What? What, uh, what do you do? do on a day you don't feel that good. Uh-huh. See, I'm glad you asked, Miles. I have a lot of Midwest in me, and by that, I mean, I do a lot of things. If I'm not feeling good, I do a lot of things so I can't feel the bad feelings.

Okay. Like, I go, I go biking. I go walking. I go, like, shoot my bow and arrow at the bow and arrow place. You know, I, uh, I do. I go shoot my bow. Um, I'll go bowling. I'll do I just like activities now Charlie tell me the truth that was a Midwest answer

no that's the honest tell me the truth I okay so you wake up you're like not my day today not my yeah I mean today's I just I'm not feeling good I woke up on the wrong side of the bed how are you approaching your life that day I'm not even kidding you dude I just do as much stuff as I can so I can't think about it okay I just I'm my do like randa came on vacation with me and my family and she was like do you guys ever stop on vacation i was like what do you mean she's like people are always doing something i was like that's because we we're not doing our jobs and we can't feel our feelings we have to do something they say that depression can't hit a moving target exactly yeah yeah see yeah so no i i'm

it can't so i just i do things i do and also like i'll like go work so what are you do if the wheel stops if the wheel stops well it does oddly and i it usually it stops when i sleep and so that's what right just gets depressed when he sleeps no no no it's like that's when you wake up at like four in the morning and you got that anxiety and you know and then it all comes out you know and so that's what i want to know what do you do when that happened i take melatonin so you just go back to that. Yeah. Sometimes, but I'll tell you this much, the dreams you get on melatonin, Miles, I've woken up with more clothes than I went to bed wearing. I don't know what the hell happens in the middle of the night when I take melatonin, but I mean, it's like over-the-counter

LSD. It's a, you know, there's that and then you can try the Tylenol PM, but I just stopped doing Tylenolp. Well, it's too late for you. Too late for me? You already got it. I got the TPM. What are you talking about? Yeah, damage is done on you with the Tylenol thing. Oh, yeah. Your mom clearly was on Tylenol when you were. Oh. Yeah.

Damage is done there. So I think you can do all the Tylenol you want. Oh, man. Yeah, it's crazy. Well, what do you do, Miles is sitting here acting like, what do you really do? The hell do you really do? So I do the same thing I do every day, but I'm just shitty about it. You just, you're just.

I'm shitty about eating breakfast, you know? Like, I'm going to have my coffee, but I'm not going to enjoy it. No. I'm just not feeling it. I'll always enjoy my coffee. I'll come do the podcast, but I'm not going to try and say funny stuff. I'm just going to do it. Really?

Do you think people, do you think the audience can tell when you're having a bad thing? 100%. Yeah. Have they commented on it? Since I was yay high, you can tell exactly how I'm feeling about what's going on by my face. It's like, you know, I could try and hide my feelings, but I can't hide my face. Okay. Yeah, it's going to come out.

It's seeping out of you. Yeah, it's like that's my fatal flaw. I'm actually, I'm with you on that. Like, people have told me that they can tell kind of if I'm not in the right moment. I'm like, how do you know? And it's like, yeah, it's coming out. Yeah, in some way. Yeah.

And it means I'm not doing enough, you know, because if I'm doing it, it's not coming out. And then, like you were saying, you, like, go to sleep. Yeah. I'll wake up the next day. I'll wake up the next day. I'll be fine. Well, because you're actually feeling your feelings during the day. Yeah. I'm feeling too many feelings.

I'm overthinking it for sure. Do you, okay, here's a question for you, Charlie. Do you think there's such thing as the male period? The myriad? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we get that. What is it?

I don't understand. Like, I've heard people throw it around. you know i mean here's the thing here's the thing is that um societally you know we we've accepted uh you know and the fact that you know women can feel their feelings it's societally acceptable and men tend to not feel their feelings you know this is being of course sex is playing in the stereotypes but they come from a real place i think you know i like is when someone owns up exactly when they're being sexist yeah i mean it's It's, yeah, it is.

It's a little bit sexist. This is a new segment on Belly-ed-up podcast. Our point of view, our point of view from a sexist point of view. Or just more simply, we're sexist. No, I mean, the sexist thing to say is that, you know, women feel their feelings, men don't. You know, and if you do a broad brush stroke here, you might see that. You might see some men like not feeling their feelings, but some women feel in their feelings. but some women feeling their feelings, you know?

And now you got me self-conscious here, digging a deeper hole. But what I'm saying... Do you not know what a menstrual cycle is? You know? Yeah, I know. I'm confused at where you're taking this. Talking about the male period. Oh, yeah, we did talk about that.

Yeah, I don't mean that we're actually going to, like, bleed out of our weanors? No, I'm not talking about... But I mean, like, hormonally, do you think that we have a cycle of hormones that fluctuate in our body that causes us to have mood swings and stuff so yeah that's like a hormonal thing you know that's where you get the stereotypical like um mood changes with the menstrual cycle and women do men have that you think yeah i think because we got hormones too yeah men have hormones too but would you say like if you started tracking all of your moods every day yeah you think you would see it go in 30-day cycles?

You know, I bet, honestly, because fishing kind of goes in 30-day cycles. You know what I mean? Like when you got your major and your minors, you know, and fishing's different on a full moon night. And I think we as is a member of the rock that rotates around the sun, we all kind of go through that a little bit. maybe there's um you know less less biological effects going on with men but i think we still get some biological effects you know so i mean i know i can get moody uh i haven't tracked it i'll start tracking my moodiness though that'll give me something to do when i'm moody and then we should

definitely get synced up you and i and then not podcasts on those weeks schedule around our cycle that's but it's tough to get on your cycle when we we don't live together you know and we don't work together like every day yeah it's going to be it's going to be threading the needle here for us we'll just have to get synced up maybe we if we face time every day it'll help us sync up yeah yeah right that's how it works I think so yeah yeah isn't that cool that like women can kind of sync up with that stuff it's freaking cool I mean that's awesome do you think the members of in sync were synced up oh yeah they were in sync they were in sync they're with each other every fucking day yeah on tour buses the whole thing

that's what broke the band up dude j t was he was he was starting to hang on with brittany too much got off the cycle yeah that'll happen it don't will happen miles i hope we never break up though i hope this band never breaks up yeah me neither it'd be a sad day it would be a sad day uh how you feeling here on and this december we're kind of in the gloominess of the, you know, kind of the not quite at Christmas. We're in the Christmas spirit, but some people, Christmas time, they don't, do you get sad around Christmas time? Why are you, why are you sheepish about saying that in December people might not be in the Christmas mood? Well, I'm just, I'm just trying to, I'm not being sheepish.

You're kind of like, in the Christmas mood, and you're like, yeah, maybe they aren't. Maybe they aren't. some people don't like the holidays some people the holidays make them sad yeah they make movies about those guys right scrooge the grinch yeah yeah yeah totally okay so are you being inclusive of scrooge's and yeah what was the original question i forget um playing dementia on me yeah we could do dimension should i go back to one of those questions you never asked me what I was self-conscious of as a child. Yeah, what?

Big nose. Oh, yeah. Let's see it. I was bigger when I was younger. You really grew into your nose then is what you're saying. Yeah. At least you don't got one of those knobs on the on the crown. I'm cool with a knob.

Jared, you got a knob? Turn to the side. A taincy, tinycy little knob. You see that? Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. My brother's got a big one.

Does he? Yeah. Big nose? No, like big knob on his nose. My dad's got a big nose. Oh, my God. Big old schnaz. Yeah, kind of the Zach Galfinakis, Steve Corral joke

that if my dad's doing the backstroke in the school, everyone's going to think there's a shark in the water. It's good to have a big nose, actually. Some women find it very attractive. Randa, the first thing she said to me was, I like your nose. Really? Yeah. And you still said, this is the girl I want to date?

Yeah. Yep. She's watching. You should have said my eye. are up here. That's smart. You staring at my nostrils right now. Yeah.

I've never actually looked at your nose, Charlie. Yeah, what do you think? Do you think it's big or no? I, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. You just, to me, have the most average-looking nose I've ever seen. Hey, that would have made me feel happy as a kid. What a... Wait, hold on.

We got to get a... Yeah. Are you putting it on? Wait, where are you putting on some apt to? to see how big my nose measures up to your average nose. I wonder. I think that's one fetish I've never heard of. You know,

you got the feet finder, you got the, all that stuff. I've never heard anyone really be obsessed with noses. Now you've heard it, man. Now you've heard it. What's your fetish?

Who's the one that has the fetish? Miranda. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a nose gal. What's your,

what's your thing? In terms of fetishes? Yeah. It's a great question. There's just so many. Um, are you a foot guy? No. No.

I didn't get tickled by that bug. Hmm. Yeah. Is it, yeah, well, that's another question is like, is having a fetish romantically, is that a bug in our system? Or is that just part of human nature? Like, everyone's got one. I think everyone's. Do you think there's a guy out there who actually just, just only likes missionary sex?

He only likes boo. and only likes butts. And there's nothing else that he wants. I mean, I'm sure. I just don't think they've explored, you know, they've explored,

um, fingers, you know, palms. All right guys, we're doing price picks. And right now, prize picks will give you $50 in lineups

when you play your first $5 lineup. Win or lose, you'll get 50 bucks in lineups. Use promo code bellied up, all one word when you sign up today. And this week, I'm feeling really. really good about A. Chan.

Feeling really good about Devon A. Chan. He's been killing it. Whether you like the dolphins or not, I like him. I'm really high on him this week. And so I even toggle them up. I'm feeling so good. So I got him with more than 89.5 rush yards this week. Charlie, what do you got?

All right, Miles, this week I've got Josh Jacobs running 78.5 yards because we are playing the Bears. and um obviously i love i don't know if i would have picked that one but i love it but i love it and uh so guys if you'd like to play prize picks along with us you got to download the prize picks app use code bellied up and uh have yourself a good old time you like a good palm miles did we do a midwest palm reading on this podcast let me let me read your palm let me tell you all right so let's see here you see this line right here yeah well you've missed some fish miles okay oh we're not moisturizing all right that's fine okay right there's the best comment he could have gave me

see that line right if you'd have been like wow your hands are so soft that have been so offensive you know thanks for saying i got rough tough hands thanks charlie uh you you do have very rough and if you like you could just you know and um well we know what his fetish is uh-oh oh spaghettios there we are accidentally spilled the beans oh but miles we're in the christmas season man what do you want for christmas this year don't it's just how many years we've been doing this podcast and how many years in a row around christmas tribe have you asked me what i want for christmas well every year is a new christmas miles i mean you know what i'm going to get you let's get off this hamster wheel that is asking me what i want for christmas i'm going to get you

utter butter, some teat butter. That's what I'm going to give you for those big old manly hands here. Is that just butter in general? Yeah, I think. It's nice. You rub it on your hands, make it nice and soft. Oh, got it. I had to put some on mine because my hands were cracking.

See, look, see my finger. What do you think that is? Do you think that's just the elements, the cold kind of crack in my finger like that? Yeah. Dry, dry air. Dry air, yeah. Probably you need to invest in a water softener. Good for the skin.

Oh, yeah, water softener. Okay. Did you put one in recently? No. You don't have soft water, huh? I do at the lake. Okay. Yeah.

Well, good. But if you're struggling with cracked fingers, you've got to start looking into it. Okay. Well, thank you. I'll look into that. What do you want for Christmas, Charlie? A water softener.

Thank you, Miles. Appreciate that. I'm sorry. I didn't realize my questions were so basic here. I was just trying to, like, hang out with you. You know, now we're fighting right here. off the podcast right off the top this isn't good radio miles this isn't good radio you better start being nice to me as we go forward here on the belly or what or what or i'm going to get really i'm

going to start doing things i'm going to start fixing this table so i don't have to feel my feelings to little unsteady why would that be a bad thing do we have any shims around here charlie just threatened me with with being nice it's like oh If you start pissing me off, I'm going to come to your house and I'm going to fidget this that project you started a month ago. Swear to God, I will.

What projects are you sitting on? I got to stay in a bench. You got to stay in a bench? Mm-hmm. What bench? That's in like an entryway, like the mud room area. How long have you had to stay in that bench, Miles?

Oh, over a year. Oh. Is it longer? Man. I'll help you stay in the bench. You want to stay in the bench? Yeah. It'll take two minutes.

Yeah, I'll cook dinner. You do that. I'll stain your bench. We'll get some pizza. And then you show me how to stain it because I don't really know how. It should be nice if you could, yeah, I don't know how. So if you could just show me by doing the whole thing, that would be nice. This is like in Huck Finn where he's like, yeah, it's fun to paint the fence, you know.

I don't know how to stay in a bench. Charlie I'm going to take your question you sent to me and I'm going to send it back but I'm going to say what don't you want for Christmas this year

what don't you want for Christmas that's a really good question Miles what don't I want clothes I just I can't do another button up

buttonups are tough they're tough because sometimes they chape your nipples what I don't like are shirts that are hard on your nipples you know like if you sometimes you wear a t-shirt and you're like

this is a cool t-shirt but like the the graphic is a little big and hard and you can tell or the end of the graphic specifically lines up where your nipple is and so it's like it when you move the graphic floats in and off of your nipple and just creates

so much friction yes a hundred percent and there's there's you can tell an hour into your day it's not going to go well when i um when i was working at the bike shop and uh we had a button up shirt there was this one shirt that i would that i would wear it was like a uniform shirt you know yeah and um and uh it would it would make the nipples chafe and in the middle of the day i had to go to the area where they have your, what do they call it, first aid kit, grabbed a couple of band-aids,

put them right there on the nipples. Are we talking like you're bleeding? I know, but I was talking like it was that uncomfortable and I knew what was going to happen. Yeah, it was a burning sensation. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so I lost some nipple hair that day.

And, but it was worth it for the temporary relief from the starched shirt. And from that day forward, I wore under shirts. Smart. smart yeah yeah with no graphics on them so is that like you just that's you don't want a shirt that's going to bother your nipples pretty much that for people that are buying your christmas gifts do you have any tips on how to get a frictionless experience for your nipples i think try it on you know go try it on you'd like a used shirt well i would like you to try the shirt on to make

sure it's not walk walk a mile in my shirt yes what you want for this Pretty much. Before you buy it, just make sure it's not a nipple chaffer. And for, let's say there's a woman in your life buying it, do they need to pop their bra off and wear it? I mean, I don't know how else you get that shirt to nipple contact, Miles. Okay. So you want, yeah. I mean, you don't have to get me any shirt, any shirt. But if you're going to get a shirt, just make sure it's not a nipple chaper. Yeah. And I think there's a lot of people out there in the bellied up world that would agree with me on that. I agree with you.

What do you not want for Christmas, Miles? I kind of, yeah, the button up was a big deal. Yeah. You can't take mine. Are you playing dementia on me right now? You can't take mine. Are you playing dementia? I said button up.

I said clothes. You got more specific with clothes. Closes, you can't have any clothes. What else don't you want? I don't want a trinket. No trinkets. What tool do you want, Miles? What tool have you been just jones and four?

I really want an air wrench even though I just don't have a need for it very often That'd be cool Yeah one that you just like hangs up on your Yeah So it's like the one time I do need to pop my tire off my truck I can do it lickety split Yeah

Yeah Plus they just are cool tool to have I've also been watching a lot of cars with my kid Oh And the little fucking forklift guy that changed the tires, kind of one of my heroes. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's cool. I like what he can get done was just so few resources. It's a great life lesson, actually. That is. I feel like I got to start. I didn't know there was a show cars. I just knew about the movie cars. Oh, the movie. Yeah. Oh, the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Cars one or cars two? Well, I'm halfway through cars too right now.

Okay. Got it. Well, we better get this podcast. What's wild is watching a show with my kid is a lot like watching a show with my wife. She has to watch it like 20 minute intervals if you're not going to go ahead of them. Because my kid gets bored after like 20 minutes. Then we got to do something else. Oh, really? And if I'm watching a show of my wife after 20 minutes, she falls asleep.

Ah, got it. Same church, different people. Yes, indeed. Indeed, where are you going to get all you for Christmas? What more does he need? I guess not. I guess he doesn't need anything. I already am battling my wife buying him too many toys.

That's true. I didn't know when I thought about having a kid and when I had a kid. You know, you're always wondering like, what's going to be your sticking point as a parent? Like my dad's was shut the lights off. You know? Yeah. You're taking too long a shower. Like that was like the irrational, like where you're drawn on a line that you're like, it's not that big of a deal.

Mine is just stop fucking buying him toys. do you are you uh because i believe that the more toys the kid has the less creative the less uh actual playing that the kid does i i would agree with that now are you uh get a toy dump a toy i actually i actually talked about that with my wife and she didn't love that idea she didn't love it just start getting rid of it she bought him this eight dollar it's eight dollars right but at the end of the day you bought him this little fucking remote control car that he's never played with and I was I brought it up the other day I was like yeah it's just gonna it's gonna be just like that if we buy him this toy whatever she's like no he whatever and

I was like okay so if I just go throw it away right now is that okay and she did not love that well you can't throw it away miles you got to take it to goodwill yeah whatever it doesn't matter yeah well you got to just start doing it just start slowly taking toys yeah they wouldn't know they wouldn't know just start dropping them off goodwill. Yeah, just get a basket in the back of your truck and just start tossing toys in there. You know, some kid will love him, you know? Yeah, just not my kid because he doesn't play with him. Yeah, he died. What does he do? What is he? He likes building the forts. Yeah, I remember, remember I was over there. He's begging me to build a fort. I go over to Miles's house. We're playing

with his kid, you know, and I guess we're playing fort time because he goes over the chair. So I built a fort. Yeah, it was a half-ass for it. I'll admit, I didn't put a lot of effort into it. I didn't know we were in like fort city and as i'm walking out the door fort city north dakota yeah miles goes all right augie now we'll build you a real fort just emasculating me as i walk out the like i didn't know i had to have structural integrity in the blanket i put over your chairs you got to build triangles it builds a good structure that's funny i forgot about that yeah well next time i go over there. I'm, I got blueprints to build a friggin' fort. Dude, I'm not going to have... He bought them like on Etsy. Yeah. I've got, I know exactly what to do with all the cushions on

your couch. I'm going to destroy your house building this fort miles. And then you're going to have to pick it up. That's the other thing. I was also trying to not make a mess out of your living room. I didn't know we, I didn't know how free we could get with the forts and the Montplasia household. But now I know. Now I know. you i want for christmas miles i want your respect okay you have my respect no you've disrespected me five different times on this just on this intro you guys hear it out there i ask miles a question he's like that question sucks i give miles an answer that answer sucks i didn't say it sucks he says i think you're sexist that question was great the first three times you asked me

and the fourth i was just like we got still do something else with yeah i just forget i asked you I mean, it would help if I listened when you replied, you know? I do listen. I do listen for like an hour. You just have ADHD. I do. Yeah. It's not, you know, you have that, you have time blindness.

It's like, you have the cocktail of ADHD, you know? Time blindness? No, I'm just an inconsiderate asshole. No, you have time blindness, much like I do. Oh, yeah? Okay. You think when you have, when you don't have time, you think you have more time than you do. that's true that's true you know do you say that to ann that you have time buying this yeah it doesn't

go over hot i was gonna say that's why you're telling me it's a legit thing right now actually no it's we had to go to my niece's baptism yesterday yesterday too let's go to my nephew dude or my niece my niece shit see he wasn't actually well it was there he was there but he wasn't there i was there man when they're babies they could go either way you know what i mean you don't really know hotel you know what I'm saying I mean you you especially now they just dress them in so much gender neutral clothing well no

I mean the baby was wearing a dress and then they name the kid Riley and you're like so I guess I'll just call them they them for a while the thing with babies is they they all look the same up to a certain point

you know up until like you know tool or something you can start telling you know so yeah how is baptism oh no we showed up on time and i was like look at that and we uh we were like five minutes early let's go and she goes well yeah that's because you took a shower early enough finally wow she didn't even give you any props for being early no i mean i'm gonna cutthroat household i can tell dude i can well you're starting to see now kind of who i am and why i can be a little cutthroat on the podcast.

It's just who I am these days. You got to fight for any props in my household. Yeah, you do. Yeah, I get that. You got to fight for toys and props. Yeah, like 12 kids. You had to fight for food as a kid. Oh, yeah.

That's why I eat so fast. Did the baby cry in the baptism? No, pretty good. Really? I mean, they didn't do, like, it wasn't a Catholic one, so they didn't do the whole, like, just dunk, dunk them and water boredom situation. They just did like a little, like,

I swear to God they had a spray bottle up there Oh Come on How does it How's it You gotta do it You gotta dunk them

You gotta give them A little grit You know And they can't think They don't dump And they just dump it Over their head They don't swallow

A lung full of water When you baptize them Are you even really baptizing them What denomination Or were we talking I don't know Oh is a non-dami I don't know

I think it might be a Lutheran one Was it Lutheran or non-dami How big one? how big was it was it off a highway was there a jet outside no that wasn't okay it's by luther yeah it was it's lutheran i believe yeah all right one of the lutherans there's like eight of them okay so catholic genuine draft choir at this at this service too yeah they they could brand themselves as the gray-haired choir there was not a single person in the choir with normal colored hair. It was all white, just gray across the board.

And what's that saying about today's society? Well, it's saying that we're not getting young people in church. Now, Miles, you is a, as a, I was there. You were there. And you also had ambitions of being in the choir at one point. So I wonder. Yeah, maybe. But it's like I won't get around to it until I have gray hair. I'm already starting to get it. I'm, we're done. We're toast. Yeah, we are. Start warming up those vocals. Sing us a song, Miles. Sing us a song Oh, I thought you were going to go Catha Kim with that

And I will raise you up on E We're looking over at Jared Like he's just looking at the subscriber count Fall as we're singing this Talk about a bit we've beaten to the ground Oh yeah But anyways Did I talk about this podcast?

My mom said he She wants me and you to sing that at her funeral. Did she really? No, dude. She was dead serious. Dead serious. And then I was like, do you want us to learn all the words?

She was like, I think it's fine. So you can imagine me on my mom's funeral and we're just like, And I will raise you up. And I'm crying because my mom died. And you're sitting there like, I'm not getting paid for this. And so I'm crying too. He's crying too. Come on, sing along.

Shone like the sun. Here we go. There are you in the palm of his hand. Wow. Jared, you're going to have to cut or auto tune that. Could you auto tune that? Sweet. All right.

I can't wait. Well, I mean, I can wait. You know, but that would be an example. exciting way. That would be an exciting way to honor your mother. Mary Jane, man. Mary Jane. You hear that mom? You got to tell her I say it. Does your mom listen to this podcast? Oh, every week. Does she? Yeah. I thought she wasn't listening for a while. Maybe that was my mother-in-law. I don't know. I'm trying to keep track. All right. Well, Isn't that amazing that I'm willing to say some of the stuff I say, knowing that my mom listens every week?

Yeah, I mean, aye, aye. Does she like it? I think so. Did she ever say, does she ever do one that? Yeah. Could be some of those. She texts you about it? She gets really mad about when we get stuff wrong.

Would we get wrong? We just a lot of stuff. We get a lot of facts wrong. Oh, what fact have we ever gotten wrong on this podcast? Myriad. men period yeah yeah there's not a chance

we got anything right about the menstrual cycle talking about it anyways all right well should we take another should we let's take a car

hey there folks it's me Charlie Barrens I'm on tour go at Charlie Barrens dot com slash tour and I'm coming to a town near you isn't that right Miles that is right

You're not coming to Fargo this time, but that's fine. I'll get there eventually. I'll get there eventually. You'll be back. I'll be back. It's all right. It's actually nice. The rest of the towns get to experience you.

Yeah. You know, Boise or, you know, New York or I forget where else, but it's up there. They get to experience it. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be fun. And Miles, I'll come see you again soon. We'll build a fort.

Okay. All right. All right. All right, folks, the holiday lights are going up. The sidewalks are icy and. grandma's climbing out of the passenger side because the store's parking lot's a skating rink. Ah! I imagine, Charlie, I don't know why, but I just imagine you've put up Christmas lights in your life and fallen off the roof.

I've fallen off a roof before. Yes. Yes. And thank God you know who Nicolet law are. Yeah. So that way, if I want to sue my dad, I know exactly who to call Russell Nicolet, ladies and gentlemen. And if you take one wrong step this week. winter one slick spot boom holiday cheer becomes an urgent care visit you just don't want that you don't want

that call 1855 though nicolay yeah when a festive moment turns into an injury you got to call nicolay law nicolet law mows have you ever forgotten someone on your holiday list you know yeah yeah yeah i mean it's you know yeah now i got nieces and nephews and inly you know it's just a lot yeah and the oh my gosh what did i get uncle bob panic you know you know you didn't get him anything and uh but you know what uncle bob would like he'd like a little vanilla soft serve tippy cow i bet you and if i know uncle bob like i think i do he would love that gift oh he would love it you know and that's gonna save you from that painful moment watching someone I'm wrapped the gift and oh there's a re-gifted pair of socks and they don't like it. No, there's no way to not like that

typical vanilla soft serve miles. You can hand it to your neighbor, your cousin, that guy from bowling league, uh, you know, whatever it is. And the bottle's going to fit nice in a stocking as well. It's nice in a stocking. You can put it in your pocket. It would hang out a little bit, but you can put it in there. Uh, this is the easiest last minute gift this side of the Mississippi miles a little tippy cow so tip it on back boo true responsibly tipic cow rum cream copyright 2025 Midwest custom bottling Milwaukee Wisconsin all rights reserve you guys have excellent timing sweet Donovan see we were thinking the same thing about you dude one ring one ring guy you know yeah I wish my

wife I'm going to answer that fast it's all been I've been in traffic for like the last two and a half hours and I'm all like just getting home just bought a six pack got home I was like oh it's gonna taste really good and then the phone rings well crack one of those crack one of those so you're saying that's a bad thing or a good thing no it's a good thing because you guys are the bellied up podcast and you called right as I'm about to crack one good once I get my damn boots off get your boots off man I would tell you that you should let your hair down but just by the sound of your voice i i think you're bald are you bald not even a little bit bro i have an impeccable head of hair okay do you because yeah like do you have long hair no no no i'm not not crazy like that

am i insane for thinking that he didn't he sound bald he kind of sound bald bald bald with a beard he's given be with the energy but yeah yeah like like like nickle yes definitely rock a big beard and uh hang on one second there we go and uh but yeah we uh we definitely have a full head of hair okay well congrats on uh dodging male pattern baldness yeah yeah we're good brother how you guys we're doing great ma'am we're just sitting here yeah we're drinking we're chilling we're enjoying each other's company and um yeah we want to know what's we want to know what's going out with you Let's, should we ask him a question like we did our last caller? Okay.

Donovan. Donovan. You think you're going to heaven or hell? Um, I would hope I'm going to heaven. Although I probably got a sweet picked out in hell already. Oh. Well, I like that. No middle ground guy.

Didn't even bring up purgatory. No, no, no. We're, uh, we, uh, we're trying to do the right thing now. But, you know, we were, we were, we were, younger and dumber and not so much good things happened back in the day. What's the dumbest thing you done?

Let's relive it. What gave you a one-way ticket to hell that you did in your past? Join the military, man. God. No, I mean, that was probably one of the dumber things, but it was one of a cool kind of prouder thing. What's the, what's the word, the statute of limitations on smuggling stuff?

Oh. I think you're good, dude. I think like seven years, seven years? Yeah, so I do a lot of jaywalking. Oh, boy. Is that why you're down in Arizona? No. Dude, me and the wife and kids have moved around a bunch of places,

and we just ended up back in Arizona. So we're here for now, you know what I mean? But we'll probably be out of here. We don't stay planning for too long. Every couple two or three years, we move states. Where have you been? Where have you lived? Texas, California, Hawaii, Georgia, Oregon, Washington,

was it Massachusetts for a little bit notice how he's just going all the way around the Midwest he didn't go up to the Midwest once you went out into the Hawaii before you could have gone to Michigan what the hell

so I did do a year in Illinois that kind of counts we're at in Illinois Chicago yeah that is count he literally was like he like jumped and just like landed in Chicago

and then jumped back out of there. What were you moving around so much for? Is that military? Not really a little bit. But I, so I grew up in Southern California. And by about the time I turned 18, I said, hey, California's stupid. We got to get out of here. So I left.

And, you know, haven't really been back since. And that was 25 years ago. It's always funny listening to former ex-Californians talk about leaving California. And it just is, if you close your eyes, you think you're talking to someone who made it out of the Mormon church. Well, and that's why whenever anybody asked me, they're like, oh, where are you from? I'm like, originally or last? I think that your tendency to move around, is this job related or smuggling related? More job related than smuggling related.

So because we're poor white trash, so we don't really save up money for vacations and stuff like that. You know what I mean? So we just go and get a job in a new part of town and then we'll see the new culture. Hey, that's not a bad way to do it. Yeah, I've never thought about that. You can get paid to vacation. Exactly. Exactly.

What line of work are we in, Donovan? I'm a heavy equipment mechanic, so I can work anywhere. Oh, that's great, man. Yeah. So you work from home then. right i got a you know pretty cool little peterbilt in the front with the utility bed and a crane and you know we just take it wherever we need to go that's awesome that's great good for you dude uh what's your wife do she's a manager at retail makeup store oh there you go they got

those everywhere too yeah typical typical uh mechanic and uh all the mechanics wives either something in beauty makeup or nurses, period. So your wife's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's Mexican too, so that helps. Does she come home smelling like 80 perfumes?

Is there that kind of place? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you like that or not? Not a terrible fan. But, you know, it's what it is. I dated a girl in high school, worked at a pizza shop, and so we'd hang out after work. She'd smell like pizza. Yeah.

But it's like weird after a while because then you kind of start to associate pizza with romanticness, you know? Pizza started getting you going. So I just recently have kind of gotten that relationship with pizza out. I was Domino Dan. I know Domino's a lot. And I think I'm starting to put the pizza together while I loved it. You know, that makes sense because she used to work at a Mexican restaurant. putting the slices.

I'm like 300 pounds. Yeah. So that. You know, I might you associate smells with certain things? Yeah. It's like the Pavlov dog or whatever.

They ring the bell and he salivates. Yeah, you don't like the scent of garbage bags either. Correct. Yeah, because my mom had the fancy garbage bags growing up had the febreze smell on them. I didn't know they had scented garbage bags.

Yeah. So then when I would get sick, and puke in the garbage bag. I would smell for breeze, so now I smell for breeze and I just get nauseous. Donovan, what's on your mind today, my guy? Dude, so

bucket list item for me has a potential to happen and I could use some advice from you guys. It's a Midwest thing. So, like I said, grow up Southern California. I, the new company I work for is going to have me go

to Fargo in February. First of all, that sucks. Tell me about it. I'm from Phoenix. You know that we're all going your way at that time. Right, right, right. But so the idea of always since I was like six years old watching grumpy old men always wanted to go ice fishing.

I want to go to a local bar. talk to get somebody to take me ice fishing what can i say do whatever like that to make a stranger take me to his honey hole well okay well we say it just like that say uh hey stranger yeah will you take me to your honey hole like rubbing his shoulder or something that'll also help midwesterns love physical contact yeah yeah should i should i throw in by the way i'm from California. Yeah, that's... And I'll do all the dirty work.

Yeah, there you go. Well, first of all, if you're coming to Fargo and you want to go ice fishing and you want to go to a bar and basically just, I mean, you're basically just kind of like whoring yourself out to help someone go ice fishing, right? That's like your plan? A hundred percent. You're waiting for a guy to pick you up at the bar and take you ice fishing. Right.

I'll bring the beer. I'll bring the sandwiches or I know you Midwesterns like casseroles. We can do a casserole. We'll figure something out. It's a hot dish, but you're kind of going for the boat move there, Donovan. That's kind of what people tend to do. That's how people pick up a boat, you know? I know.

So I'm used to the boat pickup. Is it the same doing ice fishing in a little shack? I've never done it like that. Here's something that you can do. You know, if the bar thing doesn't go, you can just go out to a lake with a bucket. and you know and crank yeah and one of those up for pretty cheap yeah yeah you could get the the bare minimum here and then you start making friends on the ice you you cozy up next to a shanty a little bit start having distant conversations like hey how are you doing yeah you can't get too close though

because that will immediately get you on someone shitless yeah no you got to get close enough I would bring a few beers out there, actually. Bears will make you friends. Bears can get you invited into someone shanty. And once you're in someone shanty, you're never getting out. You don't have to leave. That will lock the door. Yeah.

It's really hard to get invited into a shanty, but way harder to get kicked out of a shanty from my experience. And if you are coming to Fargo, you got to go to Detroit Lakes, which is an hour from Fargo. That's where, like, you're going to go ice fishing. if you go to Fargo on Detroit Lake they have a bar

that they set up on the lakes you actually can get a two for one you can go to a bar out on the ice and talk to someone who's currently ice fishing

and you can just go with them back to his shack that sounds like the ticket that's dialed in there that is the ticket that's dialed in Miles do you think like have you been out there

to Detroit Lakes ice fishing out there yeah okay is that where we used to do like a cornhole event at this bar on the ice i was going to say because you have your you have your ice um palace you still have that uh i don't you don't okay having a kid i'm not going ice fishing as much you're not going ice fishing as much okay i'm not doing anything as much well do you have any do you have ice fishing pool sitting around someone you do i got a bucket over there oh okay so my ice fishing spot in the corner over here See, I guess that's the other thing, though, too.

So I was planning on meeting somebody at the bar the day before because, like, I don't have any of the stuff. I don't have a pull, none of that. And I wasn't necessarily going to get it and then just take it on the airplane back to Phoenix where I'm never going to use it. So I was hoping to use somebody else's equipment. If you're with someone who's, like, if you find the right guy at the bar, he's going to have something for you to use. Look, Donovan, I know what you're doing right now. you're fishing for Miles's ice fishing gear. Keep going.

He's avoiding it and he's done a good job avoiding it. Keep dancing around this. Let's see if he says you can use his ice fishing gear. Well, see, that's what I'm saying. You know, did you read the text message? You guys blew me off like eight times before this thing. I'm like, I think, Miles, you should just take me now. This is a good tactic, Donovan.

Go into the guilt. Go into the guilt. We were supposed to do this conversation last month. You guys blew me off because when you were, was late for an airplane and then today you're supposed to call me at like noon and here it is 5 o'clock and we're

just getting on the phone. And why are we so late today Charlie? It was because my flight was delayed. But listen So Donovan The bane of my existence is Charlie's flights. This is my fault Donovan and because it's my fault I'm going to do you a salad as a buddy

more buddies now Donovan I'm going to pimp out my buddy Miles is ice fishing gear to you. There we go. So, yeah. Well, you got a nice bucket, a few pulls. It's good. It's a short ride, but it works. And

yeah, you got a Vexhaar too. Short rod, but it still works. You got Vexar too? I do. He's got the gear here set up. Now, I'm going to give you a few tips for your first time ice fishing, though, in

the Midwest, okay? February will probably have good ice, but you want to bring out some ice picks with you because sometimes if it goes through, you're going to want to have those. That ice gets slippery if you go through it. So get yourself some ice picks or some floating snow pants. But this is your first time. You're probably not going to want to put an investment in. Those are expensive. It's like $1,200. Yeah. Good snow, good ice fist and suit. Just bring two butter knives out. That should work to let you grab your way on or just grow your fingernails out a little longer before a trip or should i should i bring my waiters uh no because if you go through it's just going to fill with

water yeah that would unless some some waiters do have those four yeah no that's not going to work yeah that's going to fill in but then i wonder no don't do that you'll die of hypothermia i think your best bet here is to just dress as warm as possible and get yourself some ice picks Um, and then, uh, really I do think your main, uh, in with everybody is by, uh, going out to the, um, ice bar and bringing some pocket beers. Because even though there's a bar there, every, no one's going to turn down a free beer. And also, you have something really going for you being an out of towner because Midwesterners love showing people the way. Especially when it comes to ice fishing. It's like, it's like, it's.

like being a missionary in another country trying to convert people to the good lord and you get you give them a little sliver you know you're over there and you're in chile trying to convert people to christianity and someone comes and asks you about god you are licking your chops once you come on over here and let's open up the book to genesis one and start there yeah and it's a nice auger if you go in there and be like, oh, my bucket list is to go ice fishing. I'm from California and now I'm Arizona and I just can't believe

the more you hype up that you can't believe that they do something as crazy as ice fishing, the more they're going to be licking their chops to show you and show off their ice fishing spot. Just bring your curiosity and a few beers Donovan. You're going to be sitting pretty.

Because I was like my buddy Fillmore, you know Philmore. He lives in Nashville and he was like, there's no way you guys drive out on frozen ice and I'm like licking my chops we're going to get you up there and oh my God your mind's going to be blown that is true yeah you really I'm getting it I'm like I didn't know he'd never been ice fishing and the more that you can play up that you ham it up that you don't think it's real the more they want to blow your mind all right so you need to not be like you need to not be like you need to need to even if you've watched YouTube videos about it you need to talk that like there's no way I know we're like at a bar

on the ice but there's no way you guys do this. Yeah and be like how do you even catch fish like do you just hope that there's fish in that one hole that you drill and they'll be like oh no no no you don't understand when you're ice fishing

it's like everybody has a boat. You can just walk to any single spot and drill another hole and if you if you're like i don't know if i could drill i don't know if i have like you know the the strength they'll drill the hole for you all right and they'll own you their vexlar i mean i just think you're you're you're absolutely going walking in like curious donovan and and the more you don't know the more you're going to see well there we go yeah i'm gonna just keep it to uh i only know what grumpy old men showed me and uh

We'll go from that. Yeah. And like, you know, like if I was like, yeah, Charlie, I've never been to Lambo. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I remember this, you know. No, I mean, like, if someone starts talking about how they'd never been to Lambo and you start saying stuff about it and that I don't believe you, how bad do you want to show them Lambo? I mean, you're going to, you might get them.

I don't think tailgating can't be that fun. in the freezing cold with the snow there's no way there's a brat everywhere you turn yeah it's just that's fantasy land there's no way no i'm getting horned up right now just showing you about lambo i can feel myself salivating like a dog yeah he's this close being like well we got to get you up there yeah i mean seriously um you know we could do lamo i've never done lamo field either yeah what kind of a cardie

have donovan uh which i got a couple okay poor white trash which one yeah you are white trash are you how many of them run two we've got five total two you got okay you okay do you guys suburban on you i do but it doesn't have a motor okay it's a 79 though this is perfect dude, you've got to make a tuber out of that. So, yeah, yeah, fix, get, find a way to get a motor in that between now and February and drive that sucker up here. You think the Packers are going to be playing in February? No, I'm talking about ice fishing still.

And shut the hell up, all right? See the crap I deal with on this podcast, Donovan? I thought you were going, talking tailgating. Go on. Oh, well, you're talking about drilling holes in the bottom of the suburban? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The back two seats, yeah, what you want to do is drill a hole, a bit shorter than the diameter of a five-gallon bucket, okay? And then get yourself some tubes, like the ones that you, like, pour concrete in to, like, get yourself a post there, you know?

It's on a tube. Yeah, so just get you, that tube will connect between the suburban and the ice. You just put that in there, and that's going to keep that hole nice and warm, but you can fish from the. the back of that suburban and just like that donovan you could go from you like you could go from maybe i'll get invited into someone else's shannon you will be able to exchange an experience in the tuber with an afternoon in someone shanny they're going to love that yeah they like those big tuber things i can google that that may be fun yeah they do like them i mean those are those are slick because not a lot of people are are going to be you know putting two holes in the back of

they're suburban but donovan you feel like the kind of guy that might just be willing to do with that i'm definitely retarded and got a touch of the tism so we're okay with that all right i mean yeah he's a tylonal guy i like charlie's mom had Tylenol when he was a baby too when he's oh yeah yeah yeah we had some well i'm glad we got that all straightened out and Yeah, so do you know about a tip-up? No, what's the tip-up? Oh, see, just said it just like that. Just like that.

I'm not even going to tell you so you can just keep it like that same energy. You're, you know, whether you do the tuber or not, you're going to be taking care of here. Oh, well, fuck, you don't know what a tip-up? I'll show you. Come on out here. It's best to just experience it. Here, I got some minnows. Yeah, I know what minnows are.

that's the next thing when you get up here you got to go to the ice bar and you got to ask for a minnow shot a minnow shot what's that concoction made of a shot a minnows and booze you know what's funny you got a quick time for a funny story real quick yeah we got time you know like i said born and raised in you know southern california and uh you head up to uh main for military stuff and then they're sitting there we have in our safety brief and they're like hey who knows what black ice is me being a southern california boy raised my hand and they said what's that and they say isn't that a cocktail with like vodka and black tea in it and they were like no one beer you're cracking yourself up diamond you're gonna fit in well up here man

No, honestly, that joke's going to play with a bunch of drunk farmers at the bar. They don't love that. But it's a true story. Like, it's funny, but it's true. I didn't, I had no idea what Black Ice was until I was 18 in the military in, you know, Maine. Must be tough. Must be tough growing up where it's 75 and sunny every fucking day. You know, it was rough, dude.

Sometimes the waves were only, like, feet tall and you couldn't really serve. It sucked. Are you a big surfer? I used to be not anymore. It's 300 pounds now. Yeah. It's tough to find a board. 300.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I went to the VA doctor today. We're 302. All right. There you go. But we're 6.5. So we're kind of, you know. Oh, yeah.

Little proportion. Dude, you're like a, you're like an offensive tackle. I know. I know. Think about where. you could have been if you had enlisted in college instead of going to the military you could be like starting right

tackle for the Packers. I mean, I'd hope I'd be for a better team though. See, I would, you know what both of you shut the hell up. I didn't say anything you knew what you set them up. You knew what you were doing. Donovan, what even is your team, huh? Are you a

Rams fan, Dodgers or Chargers fan? Whatever. No, so being honest. I'm more of a gambler now with football being honest I have a problem I was a big charger fan but then they moved from San Diego and I said

fuck them yeah and I I tried rooting for the Raiders for like two years because you know it's like the ultimate fuck you to the chargers but it just didn't feel right so so now with football anyways I'm more of a fantasy and a fan duel gambler all right how i am yeah yeah but hockey is a totally different story because the kings are winning

the whole fucking thing this year oh okay so you're a big hockey guy that's where your loyalty lies are you making good money gambling no i was doing okayish meaning like i spent 200 and i was only in the whole like 25 but this season not so much but i don't do it like i'll throw like 20 bucks on a Sunday. Got it. Got it. Just enough to get you, you know, get some blood flow, but not like totally. Exactly.

Whatever games on CBS or Fox to make it a little bit interesting, you know what I mean? Because I don't really care. Yeah. No, that's a good way to play it. That's a good way to play it. Is there, is there anything else that you want to try while you're here in the Midwest? I want you that. What's the, uh, I want to get.

real legit, uh, what's the, uh, the cheesy thingy, Poutan, Pouton, Poutine. Poutine. Poutine. Don't mispronounce it. Poon tang. Poon tang. Yeah. Let's get some of that.

You, you come out here. Miles, is there a lot of putteen over here in Fargo? I thought that was more of like a Canadian thing. Yeah, it's kind of a Canadian thing. I heard it's like an up there, but you got it, that's close. It's anything north of like Utah is basically Canada. I mean, I can't already. I'm in Fargo, so yes.

Yeah. I mean, there's restaurants got a putteen around here. Do that? Okay. We don't. Gravy on the fries and cheese and. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not as much of a putteen guy, but, you know, no, no, no, no shade.

it's more gravy guys are into it not always a gravy guy or what's a what's a staple everybody out there like you guys all grew up eating this period everybody's mom has their own like in the south it's jumbalaya and gumbo back

home it's tacos and shit what's your guys is everybody's everybody's family does this and it's only good the way your grandma made it yeah I mean hot dish is very similar to that yeah I throw cassero, a cassero hot dish situation.

You know, we're big into salads here, but potato salad, really any salad without lettuce. Yeah. Jell-o. Snicker salad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically. Macaroni salad. Yeah, 100%.

Basically any salad without lettuce in it. Salads that can give you heart attacks if you eat them consistently. that's kind of what we're into. I do make a pretty mean carnivore salad. Oh, what's that? Just whatever meat you want in a bucket. In a bucket. Meat in a bucket.

Damn. Preferably fresh off the grill. Yeah. So, you know, you're sitting out there. You got a beer. You got the barbecue and the charcoal going and you make some steaks in the bucket. Chicken in the bucket. Ribs in the bucket.

And then everybody just comes around and picks from the, you know, carnivore salad. Hell yeah. That, you know, you're going to. fitting real good out here Donovan you are yeah you just toss a grill in the back of that tuber and we're going to be sitting pretty there we go that is have a tube full of meat

oh yeah yeah yeah meat tube oh we can convert one of them to be like a little or make a little vertical smoker in the back of the suburban tube oh there you go now we're thinking yeah we got a yeah it's got a fire inside

of a vehicle you know we've done it before it's okay yeah if you have enough ventilation it's fine yeah yeah yeah we'll put it put the little smoke box like the little thing the old 50s car had we're the little swamp cooler that hung out the side of the window oh yeah yeah yeah yeah see sitting pretty um well we're excited that you're coming up north here finally been avoiding yeah i know it'll be it'll be fun i'm looking forward to it yeah and i think you're ready to go as long as you make sure you play dumb and don't know anything about it someone's going to have to show you how to do it yeah yeah that whole tip or upper thingy yeah we got to figure that out yeah oh that's perfect yeah god i wanted to correct him so bad no we're just we got to let it

be authentic yeah don't watch any youtubes about this just come in with you you and start talking about meat salads you're going to find your way you know you're going to find your way into some perch pretty quick here meat salad in Fargo are they uh are they packers are they more you know the better bears

uh it's usually they're packers or Vikings fans Packers are Vikings and give the bears a week all right definitely more Vikings fans than Packer fans I could do Vikings I'm part in Norwegian we could do Vikings there you go

all right dude well we appreciate you calling in today hopefully uh you enjoy your six pack of beer you got and uh yeah have fun in infargo i will i appreciate it guys thanks for uh thanks for doing it you guys make me laugh with this podcast so it's pretty fun it's fine nice to finally talk to you oh thanks man we appreciate that and sorry that miles screwed up getting you on this uh call that was all his fault and we appreciate you you know what i'm i'm a hundred percent positive worse things in life have happened so that's a good outlook all right use that line what happens all right man we'll see you soon drive safe up here yeah guys take care all right bye bye so you're not going to loan them your

ice fishing stuff miles i just will never see it again you know yeah that's true guy like that he'll take a like and do it you can tell i love lost they fell in the hole next thing you know he's bought a case and it's back in Arizona yeah bought a case yeah for the fishing rod oh oh bought a case for the fishing rod yeah like a travel case for oh okay I've never uh the one never needed one so you can buy him for sure yeah I guess he can yeah gun cases that's the one thing that we had to take it was an old gun case and there's one time I was cleaning the garage and the fishing rod gun case was in there, and I opened it up, and this rat jumped right out

at my face. Rat in the gun case. Can you believe that? Yeah, in your garage 100%. Yeah. Well, so we take another caller? Let's do it. All right.

We got Cliff on the podcast, Charlie. Cliff, how are you? Good. How about you guys? Longtime listener, a longtime fan of your guys' channels online. And I'm super excited to talk to you guys. Cliff, what the hell was that? What happened there? Are you going into cardiac arrest?

A little bit. I mean, I've had a couple drinks, so I can't really complain, but kind of went down the wrong hole there. So my apologies. All right. Well, he's nice and liquored up. What's on your mind, Cliff? So, yeah, you guys, I left a voicemail a couple of weeks ago, got some family issues. So, I mean, a lot of things that have happened in the last couple of. weeks since i left the voicemail okay is that good for us or bad for us um i mean for me i i don't care for the uncle much okay so something is going on with your uncle yes so to take it back a couple weeks ago uh actually a couple months ago my apologies um so what happened was is

my aunt and her him have had issues in their marriage for about, oh, like I said, the last couple months. And he's been very distant, not talking to her, just very, like, yeah, you know, distant. And one day he was at a barbecue with his, so I have two cousins. Clip, you really know I tell a story. I'll tell you that. I'm with you. I'm horrible at telling stories.

but I let me just cut to it because this is a podcast no I like it it's the spider web story we're getting it your uncle and your aunt distant in the relationship your uncle's been distant but you got these two cousins okay so I have these two cousins and they were at a barbecue my uncle and my oldest cousin and she was on his phone almost the entire time right and so when she was kind of curious she kind of walked behind him and he saw him messaging somebody. And she called him out on it and was like, hey, who the hell are you talking to? And he kind of, you know, pulled his phone away real quick.

And he said, nobody, nobody, you know, that type of thing. And she said, no, no, tell me who you're talking to. And then he just flat out more or less told her, I'm having an affair with a woman on through text message. Whoa. What a weird flex. So I'm having a text affair. Okay, so yes. So do you guys ever heard of the pig butchering scam?

No, tell us. So the pig butchering scam is more or less somebody, everybody gets these texts more or less saying like, hey, I can't wait to meet you for coffee at yada yada yada times. And you're like, who is this or you just full on ignore it he texted back and said hey i don't know who this is you have the wrong number and then they go and say hey i apologize for even you know texting you but what's your name and then it kind of just snowballs into a very um talk about you mean this

guy had you have been lonely he he was i mean i mean i mean no dig on your on, but some, I mean. And you know, Miles, it does take two to tango. I'm not going to argue there. And I don't know. I'm not defending him. I'm not defending him at all. You're just going straight to blaming the aunt right now, dude.

I just, I just started thinking about like what mental spot do I have to be in to, because clearly this is not, he's getting catfished, right? Oh, more or less, yes. But, but here's the bad thing, Miles, is that. They just renewed their vows this summer for 35 years. Oh, damn. That's so bad. So bad.

You still want to blame the aunt? No, I'm not blaming the aunt. I just was like, God, he's probably got to be so lonely if he's just willing to strike up a romantic relationship with some guy in India. He's like, I don't even care who you are. just if you talk to me i i'm all here for it i've not that you bring it up i've gotten text messages like this before of like saying hey are we still meeting up or something i know what you're talking about yeah yeah yeah no no this is this is totally this guy's fault i'm not saying i just was thinking like where you got to be at what's just called pig fishing

pig butchering pig butchering why is it called pig butchering so what happens is it Like I was saying, they kind of just like, oh, like text them random number and say like, oh, let's say this guy's name is John. Like, oh, hey, John, are you ready for coffee? And they're like, oh, well, this is the wrong number. And they're like, oh, well, well, what's your name? And they get to an intimacy over text and like trust and everything to that extent. And then they more or less are fattening you up to, you know, slaughter you. Oh, that's where the analysis.

comes from okay okay i was thinking like in terms of a fishing analogy that makes sense like you're just cast in a a wide net or something um okay okay you know i would say fattening the calf before the slaughter is what the term i would use in this sense a little biblical yeah yeah um okay so okay so your your uncle's now broke he sent all of his money to some guy in india so you know he's a very good job and you know he he's actually saved a ton of money you know in his 401k over he's worked in uh the mining industry for gosh 25 30 years and he saved a ton of money had a great you know set up pension everything to that extent and he brought so going back to my cousin that caught him um she he told her right away like hey i'm having an affair and then he told my

youngest cousin. He didn't even tell his wife yet, you know, my aunt. So they're trying to keep the secret from her and all of a sudden they're like, you just need to tell her. And he told her. And so what's weird is that this gal that he was, or man, I don't know who the hell he's talking to. Robot. A robot. It could be AI. You know, Charlie, that's up your alley. Yeah. You're in a romantic relationship with a robot? No. Chat, GBT, can you help me feel love?

Trust me in all the wrong places. No, I I don't. Yeah, maybe that's why Charlie's so defensive about AI is that he secretly is in love with an AI woman. Is that true?

First of all, an AI cannot be a woman. Second of all, her name's Tiffany and all right all right so so did he did he send money over so he my my cousins were begging him because they were more or less asking hey like this this gal was asking for money for

quote unquote investments in crypto and gold yeah right and that's what I said and even my dad was like what a dumb ass you know And so he, before my, so just to cut to the chase, my aunt and him did get a divorce about two weeks ago. Oh, wow, dude. This is so sad. It is sad. You know, you know, they've been together for 35 years.

It's affecting, you know, my cousins, you know, they both have kids and just, it just destroyed the family. So I'm kind of just bringing awareness to, you know, families out there, if this is happening, you know, cut it, this nip it now, you know. Yeah. How much money did he send? Oh, okay. So the first time my aunt noticed in their 401k account because they have a shared account, you know, because they're married. He sent $50,000 to this woman. $50,000 to invest in quote unquote gold.

Oh, my God. Yeah. And so, yeah. And that was the first time? How much did he send the second time? For what I know, and this is true, you know, $400,000. What? Oh, my gosh.

Dude. Yeah. Your poor aunt, man. But here's the thing before he sent that $400,000. she got out like a bandit. Let's be honest here. Before the divorce, he promised her the house.

He paid off her car, which was worth about $50,000 itself. And then she got one third of the 401K. So I mean, she kind of got out okay, but you know, I still fell back for her. I'm not saying like,

oh, good for her, you know, but this guy is now thinking he invested in crypto and gold. And then when he asked for his money in about five, six years, it's going to be all gone. Wait, he doesn't know that this is,

a scam yet no they've tried to tell him they they they've met other people that have gone through the same thing to try to talk to him and he's like no no she's real 100% real and they're like no she's not for yeah has he talked to her on the phone so so charlie yes so this is the weird thing about this is that he says he's facetined her called her over WhatsApp you You know, and that's where we're all kind of like scratching our heads. Like, this gal must be like, like, this has to be something through like India or she, I guess she's from like Thailand or something. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, okay, look at the, he does know that you can just with the technology now, you can just invent a person like SORA, all those apps.

You can just invent a person to talk to you. yeah and this is what so my younger cousin she tried to so he sent her a photo of what she sent to him over WhatsApp like um that she's from Santa Barbara and she works for this company for investors blah blah blah and she sent a photo of his name um written in the sand on the on the beach and i i saw it and i was like that's AI no doubt that's a guy he's like he's like send me a photo she sends a photo back and she's like only has three fingers he's like wait what's up of that she's like oh i just was born that way you know what cliff though you're right man you're right this is that's a PSA dude people

are getting scamped 400 g so did she did they get divorced and then he sent over his whole 400 000 well i believe from what i understand um you know i don't know everything about their finances, but from what I understand, they had about $2.1 million in their 401k for retirement. And so one third of that money went to my aunt and he paid off the house, or the house was already paid off. They've been in that house for, gosh, like 20 years. And yeah, I mean, so I think he did send that $400,000, like when everything was kind of getting finalized, because I don't believe they were divorced when he did it. So, I mean, it's kind of a weird thing to talk about, but I mean, yeah.

And the thing is that he keeps making plans with this gal that, hey, like, come to Santa Barbara this date and we can meet each other. And he goes, okay, I booked the flight and everything. And all of a sudden the day before, two days before, like, oh, no, I had to go to New York because my mom's sick. Yeah. I mean, I know. We know how this is going to go. sad yeah it is truly sad it's just horrible yeah and uh yeah oh my apologies charlie you go ahead oh no i mean i just say like you just like these um bots are like trained on like it's got all

the your information you know that you're putting out there and the stuff that you like scroll past or whatever so it knows where all your weaknesses are and uh and it can be so easily manipulated and this is just a case of that man that sucks yeah and like i said she he still thinks uh you know she's real you know he lost everything you know his wife his his uh daughters won't even talk to him you know it's it's just super sad he lost a five bed four bath bathroom home that's like 2,500 square foot four baths he lost Do you know how funny it is that he just gave us the number of bathrooms? The run down on the house.

You know, it's got heated floor in the garage. Living rooms got bolted ceilings. You know, do you know that in a nice quaint little neighborhood on a cul-de-sac? He just gave that all away. yeah he gave it all the way man i mean he just kind of gave it all the way because like like kind of what you were saying miles you know it takes a lot for a man to be lonely enough to just give it all up i i think it's partially that but it's also partially like like all his weaknesses are like out there you know what i mean like when you got that much data that that people can just buy and

manipulate that's what happened so they knew exactly what to say to him it's probably in an AI. I mean, it's obviously AI. But that's so messed up, dude. And he's still, it's like a mental disease, you know? Yeah, I mean, to give up your five bedroom 4.5,500

square foot, key to garage, vaulted ceiling, house for that is crazy. Yeah, now to a one bed, one bath single wide. I mean, I mean, going up in the world. Is he in a single wide now? Yes. Oh, shit.

all right i mean some of those are nice but well it's a good PSA i'm not judging at all you know if someone texts you from a number you don't know and it's actually someone that you know trying to get a hold of you it's still going to be okay even if you don't respond to someone that you know who's doing that i'm so confused with what you just said me too i'm a little lost two miles you're like you get a text saying hey can we meet up you don't know who it is even if it's someone that you know and you just don't respond to them, it's better than responding to someone you don't know from a number like that. Yeah.

I mean, no, I get it. That makes sense. You'd rather just not show up to the engagement that you were supposed to be at rather than like just texting numbers you don't know. Right. You know what I mean? Well, and it even gets gnarlier because with the voice stuff, you can make your voice sound like, you know, someone you know, you know.

They've had that too. I know someone that almost got into that problem. Yeah, like they made their voice sound just like the one guy's kid. Yes, that happened to a friend's grandparents where it sounded like he was calling them asking for money and they gave the money. It's never been easier to scam. I think the one was like, he's like, dad, I'm from, I'm in jail. I need you to wire money to get me out. Trying to do that to a Midwest, dad, you know.

Oh, yeah, you're in jail. Spend the goddamn night there. What the hell did you do? Huh? Rotten there, you son of a bitch. That's not the way that I raised you. And like those scam people are just like, do not call any of these area code numbers.

You've had no success. All of Wisconsin is off the list. Oh, man. Uh, well, are people starting to heal yet at all from this? Or is, are we still in the thick of it? Yeah. It's clearly he's not over the five bedroom four bath. I can't 2500 square foot. Oh. And, and, and your uncle is still, uh, is this uncle by blood or did he marry in? Uh, he married in. Okay. Well, yeah. That's better. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, me and him never really cared for each other anyway. So I ain't losing sleep over it. I just feel bad for my aunt and my cousins

because like I was kind of, you know, raised around them. Sure. She's like my second mom and those my cousins are like sisters to me. So it really just breaks my heart to see them going through that, you know. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah. But damn. Ironically, you guys brought up the, how, you know, like a kid calls their grandparents or something. That actually happened to me in high school as well. High school. How old are you? I'm 27. How did it happen back then?

So I was about 16, 17 at the time. I was an English class and my grandma's texting me like, hey, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. What's up? She's like, I thought you were in jail. I was like, you thought I was in jail. And she's like, yeah, somebody called us and said you were in jail and they said they were going to arrest you if you don't get us Google gift cards from Walmart. and they get it. Oh, no.

And my dad called me and he's like, you're not in jail, are you? I'm like, no, no, I'm sitting in English class listening about Shakespeare. What are you talking about? I love how it was so plausible that you could have been in jail that you helped defraud your grandparents, though. They're like, I mean, that sounds like it could have happened. um that's a so did they get that one figured out or no um yeah they sent them the money and then

nothing ever happened okay but yeah you know it is what it is it's unfortunate you you always hear about those old scams those email scams of like uh like an african prince or something or princess is like hey i need money to get out of jail or i need help my people are control you know like it's super like crazy how far they've come with scamming oh yeah yeah it's not yeah 50 000 uh vacation giveaway email and now yeah yeah just yeah yeah yeah i got i got people that um i think i've said this on here before but i have people that text me uh like have come to a show say like talking in the front row with me about a dog or something and like yeah we talked about that and I was like I this is not the time to let you know but that wasn't wasn't me but

um yeah they do that stuff all the time I get messages saying like uh this is a fake account or whatever and you think about all the people who didn't figure out as a fake account do you get that too mouth um not really as much not as famous as you that's not true mouse you just don't look at your messages that's what this is really about I have a kid Hey, I got two. I mean, yeah, you can get, you can pay attention to scams and have a kid, Miles. I mean, it's true. I do have a lot of free time on my hands.

But I have a house plant. I have fruit flies. I have responsibilities. I'm just going to start responding to you with when you ask me certain questions. I'm just going to respond with I have a kid. That's really nice. And it's accurate, too. And his kid knows how to build a better fort than me.

That's another more structural integrity, although I'm going to show you that that's not true. Miles, just you wait. So, Cliff, where's things at now? Things now, you know, my aunts, it's kind of in a weird state. They don't talk, well, they talk. I mean, they have, you know, a couple grandkids together and, of course, two daughters. So they kind of have to talk to each other and plan out stuff, especially for like birthday parties and family get-togethers and all that stuff.

And I mean, my aunt is very heartbroken, of course. You know, she's in a weird state. But I think she's trying to move on, you know, like it's, I can't really go into detail. But, you know, their marriage has been on the rocks. But, I mean, they were, like I said, 35 years renewed vows. and you wouldn't think something like this would happen, you know? Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know too many details of what's going on now,

but yeah, it was a crazy time when my mother actually told me about everything happening. I thought somebody got cancer or something. She's like, yeah, there's trouble in their household. I'm like, oh, my God, who's dying? She's like, oh, no, they're getting a divorce. I'm like, what? No. Tell you what, though. Christmas is going to be pretty interesting.

I agree. Like, you know, you sometimes go to Christmas, you're like, fuck, what are we going to talk about? You guys don't have that problem. So look at count your blessings. Count your blessings. Spill your tea. Cut to like a year from now, this guy's a billionaire because of the investments. It actually was real.

She's like a smoke show, you know? Yeah. He shows up to Christmas in a McLaren, and he's got a gold necklace chain on this gal from Thailand on his wrist, you know, on his arm. Oh, shit. Well, one, you still cheated on my aunt, but also good for you. Yeah. You know, we can look at it that way, I guess. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, the only thing now for your uncle to do is to just start trying to defraud a bunch of people get his money back, I guess. Yeah, just go back to the old emails. You know, just won a $50,000 giveaway, you know, for a cruise. What a bummer, man. Well, tell you, tell your family that we wish them the best. If you guys are going to get caught up in a scam, do it the old-fashioned way and go to college. Don't be texting someone. sending of money for gold, okay? Yeah, exactly. Hey, Charlie, you're going to be in my neck of the woods here in a couple weeks. Oh, where? Charlie Barron's on tour, ladies and gentlemen, Charlie Barron's.com. Where am I going to be? Near Spokane. Spokane. Awesome. You live by Spokane or in Spokane? Yeah, I actually

live on the Idaho side here in North Idaho. So, oh, nice. Hey, be careful when you're there, this thing might be contagious. Okay. I don't need you catching this bug. I don't need you to come back with a Thailand girlfriend. Are you going to come out to the show or no? I haven't gotten tickets yet, but I'm hoping to get them as soon as possible. We'll hook you up. We'll get you some tickets.

Cliff. Cliff's calling. You don't have to do that. That'd be too nice. Text your full name, Cliff, and we'll get you on there. You know, you give free tickets if you bring your uncle. Oh, Miles, I don't be trying some very thin ice there. Just think about the crowd work. Charlie, he will be maybe owning.

So does anyone in the audience know, have a family member who was maybe caught up in a scam? And then you raise your hand and then be like, who is it? He's like, he's actually right here with me. And we'll see we're clip farming, Charles. I like it. It's a little clip farming situation going. Hey, if you do want to bring your aunt and your cousins, we'll hook you guys all up with tickets.

I promise I won't bring this up on stage, all right? All right. But if you don't bring them, I'm going to bring it up, all right? Well, they live in Montana. I live in Idaho, so I don't know if they make it out. It's not going to work out. Your aunt doesn't have anything.

I'll bring my wife. She can come. God, dude. what first you blame it on the end her time is cut in half now i didn't really blame it not you cliff not you i'm talking miles immediately he's like oh the am must have fuck something off in this relation the guy doesn't get that lonely i just on his own i know it sounded that way and i admit that but that's not what i meant by that's all right miles you got a kid you can't be uh paying attention to these details i got a kid but when his kid can build a fort that looks

like a five-bed four-bats. And then there's Charlie like, yeah, I kind of got a bucket in the corner to take shit. Oh, man. Where's your uncle living now in that double-wide? He lives still in the same town over in Montana. I mean, he still lives over there. Okay. Like, yeah, so they live in the same town, you know.

they work for the same company just not in the same areas. Cool. Well, we appreciate you telling us the story. This is sad, but also a great time for a PSA. And that's, just don't text back numbers you don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I heard that story that you guys did. God, I can't remember which part, what number it was, what episode it was, but about the guy about his father-in-law. And I was like, gosh, you know, that'd be kind of a good thing to talk about to let people know like yeah though hey don't fall for an only fans bottle yeah yeah yeah yeah where there's what's actually funny is someone earlier was complaining about charlie's flights and that was the day

where you forgot your your ID and you try you use your expired passport oh yeah the airport that's right almost didn't have podcast that day too well you know some things never change but uh miles well we appreciate you calling in cliff this is great well yeah guys thanks for letting me come on the podcast here and it was fun talking me great to meet you guys hey great me and you too text if you want to come to the show we'll see in person do i just text the number that was sent to me you got it awesome guys um yeah just uh make sure to say hi to your cousins and watch out for geese That is my favorite barley charon's quote. I took it as a compliment, honestly.

Yeah, I showed it to. I brought it up to him and he was like, oh, yeah, that was great. I was like, Charlie, you're supposed to be mad and you're supposed to do a rebuttal. No, maybe I'll do one now. I didn't get that, but you should. I mean, the cheesehead was the cherry on top.

I mean, Skoll, go vikes, you know, but that's just me. It was the cheese on top. Yeah. Yeah. all right cliff well thanks for calling in my guy awesome guys yeah of course thank you guys and uh for real though say hi to the family and uh watch out for dear all right you too remember to change your air filters uh make sure to check your air filter and your pickup oh yeah god i forgot about that one awesome guys you guys have a good one we'll see uh oh this is what is are we turning into like

uh we're turning it yeah like this is this is a second scam we've had on this podcast in history yeah good thing we mixed in an ice fishing call on this one you know kind of just able to get my head above water here today that's why you bring the ice picks there miles good thing i wear in my floating snowsuit yeah otherwise i would i'd been drowned by now yeah well folks that about does it here another great episode on the bellied up podcast uh miles it's been a pleasure here with you today. It has.

Pleasure's been all mine. So guys, remember to tip your bartender and we'll see you the next one. See you back. Okay, I hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now. Oudaloo.