Bellied Up - Our Messiest Confession Yet #121

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

In this episode, we’re at Turtles Bar and Grill in Shakopee, MN. The first caller is newly married and struggling with his in-laws. The second caller has a messy confession to make. The third caller is having problems with coworkers, and the fourth caller, a Wisconsinite, has an unexpected opportunity to become a fricking Illinois bastard. The last caller got competitive on a cruise ship. Don't have time to call in? Call our Voicemail line and tell us what's on your mind 👇 218-303-5095 Check out our Clips Page 👇 https://www.youtube.com/@BelliedUpClips?app=desktop Get Yourself a "Road Hunting for Ditch Chickens" hat and other merch here 👇 https://ohhyoubetcha.com/products/ditch-chickens-hat Check out Charlie Berens Special "Midwest Goodbye" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wEzagimGjc Check out Myles' Podcast "You Betcha Radio" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQK1ATqc6L9wz4FAiun8kKw

guys, before we get into the episode, we want to let you know, we have some new bellied up merch, new belly up. Charlie's wearing the road hunt for ditch chickens, blaze orange, sweatshirt you can wear for hunt season. I got the regular t-shirt on. We got a few color ways. We also have a shirt that says, if you could read this, I'm bellied up to the bar with the bellied up logo on the front. If you go to, Oh, you bet you.com O H H you bet you.com. Don't forget the hats and the hats are on there. You can get some new belly.merch. Check it out guys and enjoy the episode. Everybody. Welcome to the belly. I'm your host, Charlie Barron's along with

the other host. Some would say the better host, those some would not be well anyways, few and far between. That's not true miles. Charlie, where are we at today? We're at turtles, baby. Chocopee turtles in Chocopee, Minnesota. I love the name turtles for a bar. I don't know why I like it. Good vibes in here. It's kind of got like three different like that's I like a good bar that's got like partitions of different vibes. Right. This room's a divide. Then there's kind of a dining area. And then there's another bar where it seems like all the regulars are at miles. We got two claw machines in here. Two claw machines. I think there's other ones in the back to say I'm going to have to take a spin around there. You know, speaking of turtles, miles, did you know that turtles can lay seven hundred eighty two eggs an hour? An hour? Yeah. How many hours are they at it?

I can do it for like eight to ten hours. Really? That's why there are so many turtles around seven thousand eight hundred and twenty eggs in ten hours. Yeah. And during the winter, they migrate south, they hop on the back of a goose. Oh yeah. Some people think they dig into the mud. That's not true. Goose riders. They're goose riders. Yeah. Yeah. I think that you're not telling me the truth, Charlie. I think that I'm absolutely telling you. I think you just made up every single one. I did. I did not realize that's a thousand percent accurate.

It is. Is there any way to prove that? No, it's not. Don't you dare pick up your phone. Don't you do it. How many eggs don't you do it? Miles, we are. Let's have an argument. The old fashioned. Let's have an argument the way they argued in bars in the nineties. Don't you bring up chat GPT? What do you think that dumb robot knows? Let's see. All right. I hate this. Why can't we just have a normal argument things were better in bars in the nineties than right now. You know, you could be coming up with all the reasons not turtles do not lay eggs continuously over the course of an hour. So they like eggs in clutches during specific nesting period. Sea turtles lay between 50 to 200 eggs per clutch

freshwater turtles, four to 20 eggs. Well, that's still impressive. Is it what that land tortoises one to 12 per clutch. So you weren't even close one. And it also goes to show that if you just say something confidently, cause I almost believed you. Yeah, you did. I could see that the wall over my eyes and, and I would have gotten away with it too. If it wasn't for that pesky chat GPT, because back in the day before all of the internet, it was, we would have just argued. Yeah. And then we could have spent an hour doing it and we would have had a great time. Yeah. I could be like, like in the nineties, you could be like Jerry Seinfeld's dating a 17 year old. And you'd be like, no, that's crazy. He's a famous celebrity. Why would he date a minor?

That's yeah. You even picked her up at high school, you know? And then what, what would I find if I Googled that? And now you would probably argue with me for a long time because that's absolutely crazy. But if you Googled it, you'd find out, yeah, that is true. And then I'd be like, oh yeah, you're right. And then we would just go, well. And we'd stare at the massive number of TVs in the bar.

I feel like bar TV game has gone. It used to be a little screen right there. Now we got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven screens. What's even on this screen? John popper is the lead singer. Oh, I know that blues traveler, John popper, blues traveler. Oh, I can't hear it. Yeah. See, right. Let's screw this podcast. Let's do trivia the whole day. They got a screen for trivia in here. Crazy place. It's a this podcast. Let's do trivia the whole day. They got a scream for trivia in here. Crazy place. Great spot. It's a lovely spot here at Turtles Miles. I'm excited to take some colors questions today and we got it. I think some confessions in this episode.

Hopefully. Hopefully. So guys, also, this is a good talk. Good point. When we are going to be recording, we're going to let you know about one or two days beforehand, probably on our Instagram story, Facebook story. Correct. Yep. Then on the day of we are going to put up a story. We're going to let you know what the prompt is. So we're going to try out some different stuff. Yesterday recording is the last three episodes where, you know, what do you want to get off your chest today? We're going to be trying to do some confessions. What else do you want to get on your off your chest? You've never told anyone. Yeah. So a ranch is, you know,

so yeah, be looking, we'll let you guys know on the socials when we're going to be recording and then also pay attention with the prompt is it also will help you get on the episode as well. Yeah. Miles and I were spicing it up. You know, we've spent a couple years together and things have been fine, you know, but we talked to our therapist and he says, why is it up a little bit? So I got some toys in my backpack that I'm going to bring outfits. Yeah, it's going to be good. So guys, that's the best way to get on here is calling in with something that applies to the prompt that we give you on our story. It's gonna be fun. It'll be great. And we're excited to hear what you guys have to say. Yeah. Should

we take some colors? Take some colors miles. Welcome to the bellied up podcast. Who are we talking to? Hey, this is Austin from Grand Rapids. Austin from Grand Rapids. How you doing, Austin? Bellion up to the bar, man. Tell us about your confession. So we've actually talked before. I asked about my daughter and Christmas and stuff, seriously. Okay, okay.

Yeah, well welcome back. Yeah, hey, Miles, we gave good enough advice that he wants to come back to the watering hole. That's true. hole a little more. We're glad you found a safe space here. So what's on your mind? So I recently got married last month. Congrats.

Thank you. And my in-laws, if they hear this more power to them as well. Like, I don't care. OK, so we got a guy who seems to be on his last leg is a month into this and he's already had it that he had to call in. And he says, I don't care if they hear this. God bless you. All right. Well, what is it? All right. So they didn't, none of her family, like none of her, she has lots of siblings't none of her family like none of her she has a lot of siblings none of her siblings or her parents Got us a single wedding gift at all

Not a single penny nothing. They didn't chip in and help with a wedding or anything at all I my mom ended up paying for like the whole wedding and They I mean her mom made I made a cheesecake because we had cheesecake for the wedding but that's all she contributed and not nothing else. And I'm just curious why, why, why do you guys think they didn't contribute anything? Like she loaned me $20 for gas that day because I was running long gas. And then she had me pay her back $20 the day of the wedding as well. Like what? I. It's my wedding.

This is this is impressive. I mean, you married in most Midwest cheap family. I was just going to say, are they? Ooh. So a little back, a little follow up or background on or a background on this. Do they, are they, do they have good jobs? Like, could they have paid you some or do they just not have money? Her mom and a stop dad, they have, they could, they could have paid for the whole wedding. Let's just put it that way.

Okay. Wow. What, what did your wife say? She was a little upset. I mean, like my mom, my mom did for the whole wedding and, and like made a ton of food and stuff and her, and I owe her mom $20. Like I didn't, what's the deal with that? They didn't get you anything off the register.- typically, I think traditionally, here's how it works is that the bride's family pays for the wedding, the husband's family pays for like the rehearsal dinner.

Did you guys do a rehearsal dinner? Nope. Okay. So, then I feel like a 50-50 deal probably would be in place. And do you guys personally, you know, was this the kind of thing where like you guys could have paid for it given the finances? Well, her mom wanted to get married down here in Memphis. She wanted to get married up at like her house. She's like, why don't you guys just have the venue up here and then

you don't have to worry about it. You can have it in my garage and we're like, we're gonna have like 150 people that are not going to fit in your garage. What do you mean? So, uh, do they like you? Are they, or has there been a rocky road between you and the in-laws? No, not really. I mean, I talked to one of her brothers, like once a week or so. So I'm talking to them all the time.

And every time she calls her mom, I'm always like talking and asking her how she's doing and stuff. And she, I don't know. They just don't wanna contribute anything. Well, that sucks. I mean, was your mom pissed? Yeah, she was like, are you serious?

They, you had to pay her back $20 for gas. I just pay for the whole damn money Why did you have to borrow 20 bucks for gas? Because I didn't have any money on me because we had spent like on suits and and all this other crap Okay, so you were like, alright, I'm gonna spend money on the wedding But I'm gonna get gifts and things in return So it'll be worth it and then about eight people did not Get you a gift well a little more than eight people she has a

Ton of siblings. She's a twin herself and then she has another set of twins and then they all brought like their their partners and she has like three or four siblings and then her mom and dad and then her other dad and nobody brought anything. Well, this was a month ago, right? Yeah, well, that's fine. How bad do you think it would be to just, you know, do something like send them an invoice or whatever for each plate? I think they would probably call my wife and say, what is the deal with your husband?

How soon can you guys get divorced? OK, well, yeah. And you like your wife still, right? Yeah, of course. All right. Well, is there something in your guys' past that they're holding over your head that you maybe forgot that you thought

was maybe insignificant, you know? I mean, I did mention when I called last time that I did get married before, so maybe that could be it. They're like, oh, he's been married once. He's he's already got all the stuff. You know what happened to the stuff you got at the first wedding? Or when you get them to toasters? Yeah. Also, why'd you buy a new suit for God's sake? Just use your last one There you go, well I I don't

It's very tough my guy. It's very tough I think that you just got it at some point be honest with your mother in law that she really screwed you over. I think she's just pissed that you didn't use her garage. And maybe that's on you. Maybe she's got a nice garage and you should have taken her up on it. I mean, I have a I have an under two year old daughter and everything like if they could have bought me diapers or something for crying out loud like, Hey, we're not gonna give

you money. But here's a couple months for the diapers. We're all chipped in. Here's the way you could just go over, drop your kids off on announced and just say, Oh, you must've got us free babysitting services for a wedding since you didn't get us anything else. I guess, Oh, I guess I can do that. That's a great one. Or you just give them a call and say, hey guys, we're just sending out thank you cards for the wedding and we want to make sure

we included everyone and didn't miss anything. Just double checking. None of you got us anything, right? That'd be nice. Yeah, did we just miss it? I, you know what, I think I might do that. That's a good one. Cause you just want to be kind of like,

it's totally cool if none of you, not one of you got us anything, just wanting to double check. Just double checking. I want to say thank you for the gift you got us. What did you guys get us again? Nothing? All right. Okay, cool.

Glad to know. Yeah. That should go over good. I think you got it. Solid. Yeah. They kind of got us some like either you best emerge or Charlie Maris merge or something for the wedding. But no, nothing. Yeah. Well, you know what? I hope at your next wedding, your mother-in-law gets you.

Just kidding. I that that's that's a bummer, man. I hope at your next wedding your mother-in-law gets you. I'm just kidding. That's a bummer, man. I think just go with the passive aggressive route. Ask them if you missed their presence somewhere. And then just make them tell you to your face they didn't get you anything. Maybe you'll get a reason as to why. I have a feeling it's that you passed up on a perfectly good garage for the reception area Yeah, hey does that mean that I'm

One one ahead of you now you got married and divorced once and now yeah. Yeah, you've lapped me buddy I I know I know I'll get around to it. Don't you worry don't you worry? Thank you. You bet. Have a good one. Talk to you soon. I Love in weddings that it's just like there's this You're throwing a party and inviting someone to it and then you're like but there's this underlying I expect you to bring me a gift. Yeah, I get it. That's how birthday parties are, I guess. But yeah, I don't know. I think it's just a weird thing. Like, like you might as it's it's such a yeah, it's such a bizarre deal.

We serve you this dinner, but we expect your gift is at least one hundred fifty dollars per person. You know, turn a profit here. Yeah, I don't understand it. I feel like the wedding industry is the biggest crock of crap in the world. You know, it's crazy. Yeah. Take another caller. Charlie. Let's do it. My name is Cordell. Um, I guess it's more of a, uh, embarrassing story than a confession. We'll take it. Yeah. Let's hear it. Cordell. Well, back in grade school, little, little fella Cordell had, you know, crappy pants. And I went for about an hour sitting in it. So I went to the bathroom bathroom in the bathroom and got into a stall decided to strip down take

off my boxers and try to you know wash it off and the toilet smart smart how they work and then I realized I well not not too well because then I realized that I was going to have to walk around in that all day. So you had what you not only had shit boxers, you had wet boxers. So it was just, it was a sloppy mess is what you're saying. Correct. Correct. And what grade were you? Oh, third. Oh man. And that's a tough age because at that point you don't want to be stuck as the guy who shit his pants and had to walk around and soppy boxers all day. You'll have, you'll ride that till graduation. Yeah. And it's right around fourth grade. The brain develops enough to know that if

you crap your boxers, you just gotta, you gotta abandon ship. You gotta find a trash can and just, you know, let it go to the landfill. Let it float around in the great ocean patch. It is just, they are goners. Yeah, he was one grade too early, Charlie. You know, it's brutal. We feel for you, Cordell. Did they call you Cordell the Crapper? The one person who found out started calling me Dirty Deli afterwards.

Dirty Deli. I got news for you. If you were sitting in class for an hour after crapping your pants, he was not the only person to have found out. Well, probably not. But if, Oh, nobody else said anything. So it was a full crap. Your boxers. It wasn't a crap. Your butt cheek situation. Cause once in a while you get lucky and it doesn't go far enough into the boxers. It just stays in between the butt cheeks. A little bit of both. There was definitely a Brown streak down my whitey tighty. Were you gambling on a fart or what? And you lost it. What, what, how did, what led to this? You had some bad chicken the night before?

Um, actually, I think I was getting sick because I coughed and you know, you know how it goes. It's just, you know, off situation. The old coffee crap. Yeah. Well, Cordell, what'd you learn from the situation? Ah, don't gamble on parts and don't gamble on a cost that could end up to be ripping it to be shit in your pants. That's good. That is advice to live by.

So it sounds like you only told one other person other than maybe your, your mom. Well, one other, I didn't never even told my mom. My mom doesn't even know this. Yet I told her, I, I came back with the boxers and a little plastic Walmart bag and I told her we went swimming that day. I love that you're like these are my favorite pair of boxers. I can't abandon ship. He's like not only did he take them off, put them in a bag. He still had his mom washing. He didn't just throw him away In the garbage outside the school. Oh No, I went home and I washed some things myself that away those things in the washer

And it's been trying to figure out how to run the washer. Yeah, mom's like what you know what? He's a good little lad He's starting to do his own laundry. I'm really proud of him. It's responsibility right there. She's proud Hey, did you just, did you, you said you were, you didn't know you could toss them on. So you didn't put them on and attempt that you just, you just went commando the rest of the day. I threw my jeans back on and went commando the rest of the day. It was kind of stuck cause I didn't have a, or a little big. Yeah. You didn't have a little bag. Did you put them in your pocket to get back to a classroom

or what? Yeah, pretty much. My pocket was wet and shitty for the rest. Well, you know, and then you learned that if you're just going with jeans, a commando, you gotta be careful as you zip, you know, you don't have that extra layer of protection. So it's good to learn that at a young age too. Yeah. Because we're definitely not getting out that day. How does it feel to get that off your chest after all of these years? Feel nice. Well, you know, it's a, it feels a little nice that at least somebody else knows. Now my question is, is have you had an incident like that sense? I have. I have not. Tell the truth once a

once a pants shitter, always pants shitter. It asked me another time. OK, so maybe there was no, I'm kidding. All right. Well, we're we're glad you learned your lesson and Evan had another one sense. Yeah. And thank you for being vulnerable with us here today. Yeah. No, it's kind of tough telling that after all these years. But just like I said, I'm knows about it. The only kid who knows about it is currently my best friend. So

that's great. Just remember, you're not alone. You know, no one's talking about it, but there's a lot of people who will shit their pants. And you're absolutely right, miles and alone. And your story gives all of us courage to know that we too have been in the same situation and it's sort of a brotherhood of of uh of crappers. Pants too. Inadvertent. Yeah pants crappers. Yeah so thank you. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story and giving hope to millions other folks out there who have had bad chicken or sallies. It would be funny if he's like actually that experience was so scarring I've just worn diapers every day now. Oh, he's a depends guy. Yeah, I wear depends every day now just in case.

Silence, that's accurate. Well, thank you for calling in and we appreciate what you've done here. It's a public service and we hope you have a good rest of your day. Oh, of course, you betcha. All right. Good one, man.

See you soon. It's been a while, Charlie, since I've had a situation like that, but I have had a situation like that in adult life. And you wouldn't be saying that on this podcast. And my cordell wasn't brave enough. So thank you, Cordell. Appreciate you. Dig another one.

Let's do it. Well, what's on your mind, Kyle? You got a confession, my guy? No, I just want to know how to deal with coworkers who don't like to take direction without getting their feelings hurt and running to the main boss. Oh, you find a new job, I think. And then at that new job, you'll find out that that also exists. Give us a situation that this happened in, Kyle.

I kind of work a blue collar job, running a heavy equipment and stuff. We have some newer people that, if you tell them to, I told them to go do something and they didn't like how I was talking to him apparently so they went to the main boss and told them that I was being an ass and a dick about it. Like what did you say to them? Tell us what you said. What happened? I told them because they were supposed to be doing one thing and they were off doing another thing, I told them to, cause they were supposed to be doing one thing and they were off doing

another thing. So I told them, Hey, go do what you're supposed to be doing. We're way behind in what we're doing already. And we need to get shit done. So go back and go back and do what you're supposed to do. And they didn't like that. Now don't edit it. I know that's not what you said.

What did you actually say? Word for word. I know you had, there was an F bomb in there somewhere. We got a role play it. Okay. Miles is the miles is your guy. All right. What's the name of this employee? I'd rather not say, okay. Well, okay. So the name is rather not say, I'll be rather not say, Okay. Do do do just doing my job. I'm having a good time at work. Hey, Kyle, what's up? Hey, we're we're behind you. You need to you need to go back and get in the tractor and do do what you're supposed to be doing because we have deadlines. We got to meet.

We got to get this shit done As it's supposed to be done this week so I can get other stuff started. Well Kyle Well, I'm just doing my job. What that's so mean You're not doing what that's so mean that hurts my feelings Did he really just say that to you like yeah Kyle Kyle's being a jerk. Sounds like a total deck. Yeah. I'm going to let's go talk to the boss. Kyle sucks. Yeah. You can't treat people like that in the workplace these days. I should be able to do my work how I want when I want. And if there's any pressure put on me, I need a mental health day. I totally agree. That all went call. Yeah. Yeah. That's about how it went. Kyle. I'm going to be honest with you. You sound like a guy on a power trip. Oh, definitely not.

You're not on a power trip. Did you try saying it nicely the first time? Yeah, I was. Yeah. How did you say it the first time? Role play again. That's exactly right. I only said it one time. Well, Kyle, the way you said it, it's like that was your first interaction with this person. No, not in a day. Oh, okay.

So maybe there's some everything was going good until that point. And then, yeah, then it wasn't. Yeah. I think that, uh, I mean, honestly, what would have happened if you didn't get it done deadline? It seems like every construction project never gets done on the deadline anyways. So what was the big deal? Uh, we's certain times where we have to have water on two fields by a certain time. And if it doesn't get done, then it screws everything else up. I mean, that's construction in a nutshell. It's every, every guy down the chain is blaming the guy previously. So all you would add to do is blame the chain is blaming the guy previously So all you would have to do is blame the previous people on the project

Yeah, yeah Kyle what's your invested interest in making sure that this actually gets done on time So I don't get my ass chewed by the boss for the list that he left to get done I see what's happening here, And does your boss chew your ass? No, not really. He knows how I stand on that stuff. I mean, he's jumped me a little bit. Wait a second. How do you stand on that stuff, Kyle?

We think exactly alike. Okay. So, let's say you were to screw up. How would he come up to you and tell you, you screwed up? He'd call me a dipshit and tell me to do it a different way the next time. So why didn't he just tell these people that want to complain that they're dipshit and they should do it a different way? Because we work for a state agency and you can't do that.

He does it to you. I'm sensing a double standard. Maybe the boss is the real issue here. Yeah. He's on your ass, but not them. Yeah. Sometimes. Cause that's, it's kind of, I mean, I'm from California, so that should explain it all. Kyle, are you getting paid to be on these coworkers ass though?, are you technically their manager? You said coworkers. I was acting. I was the acting supervisor. That's like the assistant to the executive, like the acting. Are you getting paid to be the acting supervisor? Is your boss just taking day off and be like, Hey, today you're the

acting supervisor, Kyle. Congratulations. My boss was in Hawaii. So this is a temp job. He's a temp guy, dude, in a few weeks you're going to be back to doing it. You don't even got to deal with this. What are you so worried about it? It's one I'm not, not a temp job guy. No, I mean you're the temporary acting supervisor. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I like to get shit done in a timely manner. You run the tight shift over there. I mean, he takes pride in his work. What was your relationship like with your father, Kyle? It's great. And what, if you screwed some

up, what would your dad say? Probably about the same thing. Hey, dipshit, don't do that again. And I love that he's like, it's great. I love it when he calls me a dipshit because then I know he knows I'm there. Any attention is great attention. Yeah, like holding the flashlight for him. Yeah, yeah. Well, Kyle, you are an old school kind of guy

working in a new school world. And unfortunately, you're gonna have to adapt or get written up by HR. I hate to tell you. I'm just not gonna give a shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't mind taking an HR write up every now and then. Well, there you have it. Well, we appreciate you calling in Kyle, and we hope that your tough love with your coworkers will end up in some other way than them getting drinks after work complaining about you. But right now... Yeah, it's either me getting in trouble

or them getting over it and throwing a pair of balls and taking directions. That's the exact response I expected you to say right there, Kyle. And we appreciate you, my guy. All righty. All right. Well, thanks for calling in. Have a good one. Yeah, you guys have a good one, too. So, yeah. Well, Miles, I have a feeling that Kyle is just one of those guys in the workplace that takes his job a little too seriously.

Well, and I think we're at actually an inflection point in the construction world. Yeah. Have you ever been to a hot spring before, Charlie? Yeah, I have. Like on a river? Yeah. So there's like this thing of rocks that's in between the cold river and the hot spring. One I was just in. And that's where we're at in construction. The hot spring is the old guys that get pretty hot and cuss you out. And the cold spring is the new generation company and that might be a little bit softer.

And at some point that rock barrier is gonna burst and it's going to be, who's gonna win out? The cold water or the warm water? Miles, I'm telling you right, this right now, that analogy is the most profound analogy I've ever heard you make on the belly to podcast. Yeah, it was beautiful had coffee this morning Yeah, good for you. I'd like to see more of that here. Okay, that's great. I'll do a double shot of espresso Joe over here from Hudson, Wisconsin. How are you doing today? Joe and Hudson, we're doing good, my guy.

You got a confession for us? Where are you guys going and from? Well, we're in Shakopee, just over the river a ways and to the left. So what's on your mind? Well, I got a couple of things on my mind today. Where should I start? Well, he's got a couple of things on my mind today. Where should I start? Well, he's got a list. This is the most mid this most Wisconsin intro to a conversation. Like a rev up. Yeah, it's like he's just getting it's like a cartoon character.

When they start running, their feet just start spinning before they take off. Open up the carburetor, my guy. Oh, well, let me, I got, actually got a couple of things I wrote down to my napkin here. Oh, good. Oh, Hey, all good business ideas start out on a napkin. So all good podcasts segments start on a napkin fact of life. No, exactly. Exactly. My, uh, my grandpa taught me well. So, so what's on the time. All right. Well, let me start with, so, you know, you know, fibs, right? Oh yeah. Illinois bastards. Yeah. Down south. Say I was over in Indiana not too long ago and I had to rent a vehicle and I got a Illinois license plate on that rental car. How'd that feel? Oh and then oh my

gosh it was like a it was it was like a shot in the head dude. But so I got this car and I didn't realize it at first. I got these plates on there until like, you know, a couple of days into it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I've been driving like a Wisconsin night for the past couple of days, and I've got these Illinois plates on my my come on. So my question is, is as a Wisconsin night driving Illinois place Should I drive like a?

Bib or like Wisconsin night. Oh, I think you take advantage of it Yeah, you you just drive like the biggest prick in the world Just go into the fast lane find someone going to 82 and just tailgate them until they leave Yeah find someone going to 82 and just tailgate them until they leave. And if you just for fun, just cut across four lanes of traffic and then go back, kind of do a situation. Yeah, exactly. Might as well just break the blinker like knob off. Yeah, yeah.

There's no blinkers allowed in those cars. Yeah. And just do a peel out. Nice little peel out. I find yourself like the nearest McDonald um, do a peel out nice little peel out, find yourself like the nearest McDonald's and do a peel out out of the drive-through lane. That's, that's very typical. Yeah. And if you want just, uh, maybe just if you're bored, just lay on the horn for like two miles. Yeah. You should also go to Verizon, buy another phone and just be on both phones the entire time.

Yeah, like you've seen the drink helmets where you have beer on either side and then a straw on your phone. Just get one of those and just put two phones in either side. And then, hell, hold one in your hand. Yeah, there you go. The more distracted you can be, the better.

Yeah, and what you have to do is you have to drive with the anger and aggression of someone who's tried to watch a team win a super bowl for over 30 years and blames everybody else for their own woes. So just, just have that chip on your shoulder. Yeah. Yeah. And just tell everyone, don't use the blinker, give everyone the bird and just, just, Oh yeah. You forgot about the bird. Lots of birds. Just, it's just flipping people off. Now get creative with it. Maybe try a sun roof flip off. Oh yeah.

There's maybe a truck or something that's higher. You just out the sun roof at them. Yeah. Maybe do some break checks as well. People are going to love that. Definitely pass someone going 85, get ahead of them, break, check them for good measure. And you got to do the look. Anybody you pass who is going slow.

As soon as you pass them, you got to look at them as you're passing. We used to call that giving them the chin. Yeah. Give them one to make your chin really prominent and let them know you're, you're dissatisfied with them driving the speed limit. And look at them just long enough that you almost run into the tailgate

of the car in front of you. I think that, yeah, who knows? That could be such a freeing feeling that you end up purchasing real estate in Rockford. I don't know. Oh yeah. Yeah. Hey, those are some good ideas. Purchasing real estate in Rockford. I don't know Oh, yeah, yeah But my my issue was is I was I was driving through a a grocery store parking lot and

You know, I'm waiting you have to stop sign you got that big crosswalk right when you go outside, you know right outside the the grocery store there and There's this there's this old lady and she was probably four to five cars. Oh, wait, she was walking into the store. She was probably four or five cars from entering that crosswalk area. So a plenty, plenty of, you know, good enough time for me to go through. Right. But I got the Wisconsin night in me and I just, I waved her on, you know, good enough time for me to go through. Right. But I got the Wisconsin night in me

and I just, I waved her on, you know, I took her like 30 to a minute to get to the actual crosswalk itself. So I'm sitting there waving her on and you know, I, after that I'm like, Oh my gosh, like I'm making these Illinois people look, look fantastic. Yeah. The last thing you'd want to do is give the, the fibs a good name. Yeah. What are you thinking? You got, you got to remember what Jersey you're wearing at this point. Okay. Any good things you do are just giving props to a place that doesn't deserve it. Oh yeah. Yeah. I agree. But that segues into my next. Yeah. What else is on that napkin

of yours? I know. Well, let me, let me check that one out. So I live in Wisconsin, but I love the, I do love the, the cubs, the Chicago cubs. I, you deserve those freaking Illinois plates, dude. Hey, I know. And that's kind of my Midwest confession is is I. I I do like the Brewers. I do kind of like the twins as well. But I don't know, there's just something about the the history and the culture around the. Oh, is there something about the culture about the cops?

Do you really like boat shoes and shitty music? What is it about the Cubs that you really like? Every, all the, all the fans are happy and they're excited and they're dedicated, right? You go to a, you go to a twins game. It's like, it's like you're going to a funeral. You're just, it's sad, it's quiet. There's no one there.

They leave early. And it's like, Oh my God. Like the Cubs fans will stay from start to finish. And then they go to the bars and they go to Wrigleyville and they just have a great time. It's like a Tuesday night, you know? And like that's, that's just fantastic to me. I mean, I can't argue with that. They made, what do you say? Maybe a little. What do you say about the Brewers fans? I think the Brewers fans are superior to the Cubs fans. And I don't think you've really given Brewers fans really a fair. I'm sorry. Do they tailgate at, at Cubs games? Well, they go to the bar. They go to the, that's not the question I asked. It's not

the same thing. And I think you are turning your back on all of Wisconsin by loving those Cubs fans. I think he called in and this is like step one of him moving to Illinois. I think so. Yeah. It's like I got those plates and it felt kind of good. He liked being an Illinois driver. He revved the engine a little bit. And he's like, I feel a little bit at home.

I think he's abandoning Wisconsin, Charlie. I think so. And I think cubs is a gate. The cubs are a gateway drug for you to turn your back on the greatest state in the world. And I'm not happy we're seeing this. I'm, we are gonna set you up with a therapist that we know. He lives on a farm.

They're actually gonna come take you in the middle of the night to this camp. And after that, you are going to be a Brewers fan. You're gonna be a Packers fan. You're gonna be a Bucks fan. And you would never ever step foot in a rental that has Illinois plates. So you're gonna waterboard him back into being Wisconsinite?

Absolutely, yeah. It's not gonna be water though. It's just gonna be light beer. So I hope- I really threw the food down that one with getting the with getting all, don't try and use that phrase to try and get back. Yeah. You can't just be coming in here saying a scotch of this screwed the pooch that no, no, you've lost your screwed the pooch capabilities, privileges. Okay. You just sit down and you watch yourself a brewerers game. Turn Bob Euker on in the garage for an hour and then come call us back.

All right. Let's see if you learned your lesson. Oh man. Have a couple of garage beers at the time, at the same time. Yeah. But you know, that's not very Midwest nice of you to kind of shame me for that. Too bad. Too bad.

Midwest nice went out the window when you told me you were a Cubs fan. Okay. Midwest nice is a privilege you get. Yeah. You're on time out. Yeah. Yeah. And when you've thought about what you've done, you can come out of your room and we can talk about it again. Yeah. Yeah. You come out of that garage after listening to Bob Euker, I might just get you a frozen casserole from the freezer. Okay. But until that time you're cleaning your own gutters, fella. Oh boy. I'll clean your gutters too,

because I'm on probation. Okay, well, I'll give you my address. Is this just a probation, house arrest podcast now, Charlie? Well, we just, we had to have this discussion. This pains me. It's funny, we're doing this on a Sunday, the only people that are at home that are to call in are people that can't leave. I had nothing else to do. We're

also doing it right during the Packers game. Yeah. It's all right. I was going to say, yeah, you guys watching that or no? Well, trying to actually shock a P and every TV's got the Vikings game on. So Charlie's hence why you got a little ornery at ya. Yeah, sorry, I do have a little thing going on inside my head, and this is called regret that I don't have one of the remote controls, but I'm looking around for them. So hopefully I find one of those, and I do apologize.

It's just, I'm not able to watch a Packers game right now, so I was a little snippy with ya. That doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't be a Cubs fan. Well, you're you're not. You should all maybe I'll maybe think about that one and I'll watch a couple more more games and maybe all kind of convert. Yeah, I want you to think about what you've done today and really reflect and figure out. We need to get back on the right path.

Excuse me. Yeah. Is there a way to get back on the right path. Excuse me Yeah, is there a way to turn one of the TVs to the Packers game? Maybe that one number 16. Maybe maybe the one no one's watching that would be really slick. No pressure Sorry to interrupt. I just I was being a little snippy with you. So I got to get my happy juice going here All backers are up three. All right. Say miles one more thing. Yeah. I've got a, I've got a buy seller trade here.

Oh, do you know what you're talking to miles about that miles hates those. That's my thing. Is it your cubs jersey? No, that's already in the fire pit. Oh good. No, no more about it. But say I've got a, I've got a vehicle and I'm looking to either sell or trade, probably trade. Okay. But it's, it's a, it's an old four Jeep Grand Cherokee. Oh gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it really loud on the highway? Well, you know, it looks 75 and yeah, you know, once you're, once you're on 94 and you're

hitting about 75 and the left lane, like a fib starts shaking a little. Yeah. What a shake a bit. You get the desk wobble, but what are you looking for? What do you want to train it for? Well, let me, let me, let me kind of tell you. Yeah, you go ahead. I've got 134,000 miles, which is like nothing for a 20 year old vehicle. And I it's the AC works sometimes once you get about what the hits, like 70 degrees. And it's a little hit or miss, but it works sometimes. The cruise control, unfortunately, went out not too long ago, but you don't need that. The, you know, the selling point is though, is that it leaks oil.

So you never need to go get an oil change because you just add oil. Yeah. It just filters it out. Yeah. It's smart. Actually, I never, it's a great spin zone. Yeah. That's a big selling. But yeah, so I'm looking to trade it and I'm thinking about getting like a, I don't know, like a four wheeler or something like that. Something to play around with. like a four wheeler or something like that. Something to play around with. Okay. So you want to a sport, a sport vehicle. You want to eat TV or a UTV or an STD of some sort.

You know, like an ABC, XYZ, something like that. Yeah. Okay. How can they reach out to you if they want to trade you? Well, you can, let's see, you can go to my, my Instagram. Yep. It's going to be Joe Ram. That's actually what is my Instagram should be. Oh shoot.

Let me look at this. It's a J O E underscore R O M underscore. Okay. Joe Rom. All right guys. If you're looking for a 2004 grand Cherokee that leaks oil and you got a four wheeler, you got your guy. Joe's your guy. Yeah. Oh yeah. All right. It's J O E underscore R O M. Yeah. Like CD Ram or like around another underscore. Oh, and then another underscore. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm just trying to find it. Just making sure it works. Oh, there you are. Okay. You wearing an orange hat in your profile. Red. I'm wearing a red hat. There you go. UW River Falls. Huh? That's correct. All right. I'll call you back. I'm a little bummed out that you've never been. You've never been here. Charlie. Oh, I've been to river falls. Well, have you ever done any speaking event or anything like that over here? No, I tell you what, you get rid of all your cub stuff and I'll do a speaking event there.

How does that sound? I'll burn them right now. Okay. All right, Joe, that sounds good, my guy. Sorry for getting a little off my rocker on you, but you were the one that liked the cubs. So anyways, I hope you have a good day. I hope you can sell that Jeep and we'll talk to you soon. All right. Thank you very much, Charlie and miles. I have a good one. We'll keep her moving and we'll have a good, have a good rest of your day there. All right. You too. Now we'll see up. I will called in to try and get a pass to become a fib. Yeah.

It's 100% what you tried to blame it on the rental. It was clever. But we sniff that out. My favorite thing about the Wrangler too, is he goes 70 degrees. The AC is hit and miss. That's when it's when opening the windows no longer cools the car down. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, if you guys want to Jeep, hit Joe up and should we do another caller? Charlie, the weather is starting to turn a little bit. And I love this type of weather.

It is where a baggy sweatshirt to a bonfire weather I'm talking about. And what do you do around bonfire? You have a few drinks. You maybe a smoking joke a little bit. Yep. You, you, you walk around the bonfire. So the smoke down, you gotta fight. You gotta hide from the smoke and you like doing some s'mores. Don't you Charlie? I've seen you gobble a few s'mores in your day. Well, guys, if you would like to have even a better bonfire, you got to include some tippy cow. Yeah. Tippy cow. Just think about pairing a s'more with this vanilla soft serve, Charlie, maybe even throw in a, uh, the chocolate shake. Ooh, maybe mix them together. Yeah, that's what we're talking about. All of a sudden you got a s'more in a glass s'more and cold s'more in a glass and hot s'more in your hand. You

know, so guys, um, remember that tippy cow, sippable, mixable and portable. So, um, when you're sitting around the bonfire. So cheers guys, funipping on back, baby. We got our favorite lawyer on the phone, folks. Russell, Russell, thanks for being here. Hey, I got a question for you. If you could have your favorite fictional character represent you in court, who would it be and why? And miles question for you too. Okay. For the whole team. Russell can go first unless he's not ready. Yeah, I can go first, but it's kind of dated cause you know, I grew up in the eighties and so when I was a little kid, like my,

I loved the 18. So I like to have Mr. T because even if you lose in court, you're not going to lose outside of court. Like he, nobody's going to, you know what I mean? He's, he's going to a pity to fool this. It's not happening. Like, so he's his legal skills. I wish, you know, I'm not going to doubt who could be awesome, but it's his intimidation factor. He's not going to let you lose. He's going to make sure you walk out of that court and a free man. So I would pick him. Well, and if it never makes it to court, he is going to win every court case in the back alley court system.

Yeah. You know, I like that one a lot. The intimidation factor goes a long way. I have a feeling miles. He's got a lot of change. He's got that fit, you know, the chain. So he's going to look like, you know, just, he's got a lot of going on. I think he's going to win that intimidation. Hang on, Russell. Did you say he's got that fit? Yeah, fit, man. That's what my kids say.

I love that. I was like, that sounded good coming off your tongue. Sounds like you said it before. Fit check. Now, I didn't know that the chain would be included in said fit. I thought that was just more outfit. Nice one. No, I wasn't know that like the chain would be included in said fit. I thought that was just more outfit, you know? Nice one. No, I'm wasn't making it. I'm not making, I'm just being serious. It's not true. Okay. Miles. Yes. You can't see him, but he's like, Charlie,

you're stalling and ask me, ask me. All right, miles. Who's, I mean, this is maybe the most obvious, but it is the only answer. I know Saul Goodman. Oh Is the only way to do it because that guy just gets it done it's not gonna be pretty by no means Miles I hate to be the lawyer in this conversation, but we said fictional character Okay, and we can't be bringing, you know, other lawyers onto the deal. Oh, so you want me to pick someone with that's not a lawyer fictional character is not fictional. Is he, or is it a base is breaking bad based on a true story?

He's fictional. I thought it was a true story. Wait, time out, Charlie, this whole time you thought breaking bad was a true story. I'm not convinced it's not. Do you know it? Do you confuse me as bad with Narcos? Narcos is a true, but Narcos took a lot of liberties with the truth. They all do. No, not Breaking Bad. Can you prove that Breaking Bad wasn't true?

This is shocking that he thought that Breaking Bad was a true story. You want Russell? Can you prove it's not true? I don't know. I don't think we can prove it's not true. I think Charlie's got it. Thank you, Russell. And boom, right there.

That's why that's why Mr. Nicolay is the people's lawyer. He just defended you with one sentence. He defended me with one sentence. Knew I was wrong, but he just boom, right with the defense. That's what I like about it. That's what I like. What I did miles. I knew it was, I knew it was fake.

I was doing a test to show him. Yes. Yes. All right. It's my turn now. It's my turn now. Where's the judge? So she's picking Batman. Yeah. Although that sounded a little Hulk Hogan. I thought you were doing the Tony Soprano breathe.. Although that sounded a little Hulk Hogan. I thought you were doing the Tony Soprano breathe. Oh, that for a second. I thought you were going WWE. I just wasn't sure what character I was kind of like, which guy, but I got to Russell brings me to a great point on our other podcast called you bet your radio. It can be found where all podcasts are found. I came up with a WWE character called the litigator. And basically what he, his power

finishing move is just beating them with the long arm of the law. I liked that. That, that'd be sweet. He shows up in a suit and tie and a briefcase and he gets to just slap people up with his briefcase. He puts some bricks inside there. I got to start watching your other podcast. Yeah, you do. That's a good episode. I watch all the years. Like Debbie, you need to have a cool walk on. I don't remember what I said. Do you remember it was like law and order law and order? Oh, that's good. That's good. Do to doom. Don't do that. CSI. Oh, whatever. Yeah. Anyways. I conflate it all. Well, Russell, I think, uh, we, I think mr. T's a good choice. I like your choice. I would not have ever

thought him in a million years. So I liked that You're a creative guy. I like it. So thanks for calling in man. Where can the people find you if they'd like you to also defend them? Like you did Charlie today. Yeah. Check us out at Nicolaylaw.com. That's N I C O L E T L A W.com or we're on all social media as well. I get Nicolay or Nikolay law. My name is Jack. How are you guys doing? Jack, we're doing well. What do you, what do you, what do you got on your mind?

All right. So the first, well, wait, are you guys watching the Packers game right now? Trying to, it's a sore subject. We're at the bar in Minnesota and not seeing the Packers come through yet, but they're up three, nothing, right? Oh, yeah.

They're winning three, nothing. I'm watching them right now. Nice. What's on your mind? So the thing that's on my mind is I'll start with the, I guess it has to do with the Packers. So my dad is from Chicago and he's a bears fan and my mom is from Wisconsin. She's a Packers fan and I'm not sure which team to cheer for. Oh the Packers. Yeah, no there's no being pulled. The Packers? Yeah your mom is right. See the Packers would be really good but I feel like because I also have a brother and he went Packers like really hard like he's big-time Packer fan so if

I leave my dad he's gonna be like all left alone. Yeah he should be he's a Bears fan. Thousand percent Packers. Yeah, he should be. He's a Bears fan. Um, thousand percent Packers. Yeah. Do you want to like enjoy a Superbowl in your lifetime? That's a real question. That would be nice. The Bears are looking pretty good this year though. I don't really want to hear that right now.

Um, yes, that's your quick answer. Packers, the Bears look good for like one game, two game, and then they I mean, look at history. Don't trust me. Trust history. Yeah, the Packers do have a lot of titles. Yeah. Title town. Well, yeah. World championship. OK, Miles, we don't really need to get into the specifics on it. Let's be polite.

How many Superballs versus championship? Miles, you trade teams like they're stocks. I don't have a title. I know. I know you blocked punt blocked punt. Oh, she blocked punt. Nothing gets me more amped than a blocked punt. Charlie. I got to call Ann. We're having kid number two after a block punt. Holy shit. Let's go. Well, wait, my miles. Did you get a block put in your career at one point? No, I, no, I didn't, but I watched my teammate get a blocked pond, which was sick. Okay. Yeah. I thought somebody was talking about, Oh, you bet your radio. I don't think I blocked a pun. I said I want to maybe with somebody else. Yeah, I just nothing gets more amp than a block

Pun. I just go I don't even care what team is on some Vikings and I'm very not happy about either of this Both you are troubling me and our caller is troubling me. What is on your mind? I yelled shit really loud and there's kids over there. Launch. So we might have to apologize. We're going to have to apologize. I'm buying the chicken tendies today for that table. Well, what else is on your mind? You said you had something else. Yes. So the other thing is how do you get people?

So I had a situation where somebody took advantage of my Midwest niceness. I was on a cruise ship and one of the events was like a ping pong tournament thing. So I was just my brother and my mom. We were all going to go play, just have some fun. And like, I'm pretty good at ping pong, you know, like I'm not that great. I was just going to kind of go for fun. And all of a sudden this guy shows up. He's like, looks really serious. He's got, he brought his own paddles on the cruise. Play like he had a case form and everything.

Like he had this whole setup for this little, like, I think they're giving away like a little a wine stopper for it. Like he came really serious and really prepared for this whole thing. And so, you know, we're, we have this warmup session. So we're all just kind of sitting around and then it becomes time where the person comes out and we're all signing up in order for like their tournament thing.

So the professional, he goes first and signs up and there is this older woman in front of me and I thought she was being nice. She's like, oh honey, you can go in front of me. So I just say, okay, yeah, I'll go in front. So I signed up next and she had the whole thing planned to where I would face the pro first round. And then she goes right after me and faces my younger brother who was 12 at the time to crush him in the first round. I ended up losing 11 to nothing. I got blown out of the water. You got to respect

her game. Yeah. But like I came to have fun. I just got completely blown. Like this guy was curving the balls. It was the kind of thing you, he hits it to you and you try and hit it straight and it goes 10 feet off to the side. What did he hold the paddle the other way? You know, like we would all hold the handle normal. Did he have it flipped around? Yeah. Yeah. That's never he was doing all sorts of stuff. It was crazy. You know, there's just nothing I want to do more than go on vacation and then enter a ping pong tournament. You know, Charlie, especially on a cruise. Yeah. How old was this guy? Well, I don't know how old he was. He was maybe in his thirties or so. I'm 16. So he

just completely crushed me. Oh yeah. You're 16. Yeah. 16. That makes more sense of why you wanted to play ping pong on a cruise, I guess. Um, did you guys run out of stuff to do on a cruise? You know, like was this day like 14 of 15 that you were like, all right, we'll play ping pong. I feel like cruise ships got a lot more other stuff. I suppose if you're not, if you're only 16, not so, but you couldn't go to your friend's basement, play ping pong. Well, yeah, it's waiting on shuffleboard table. We don't have a ping pong. Well, yeah, it's waiting on shuffleboard table. We don't have a ping pong table though. Gotcha.

So this was a little treat for you. Well. Yeah. It was like, it was getting towards the end of the cruise. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. Well, and so like her niceness basically screwed you over. Is that it?

Well, it wasn't even her niceness. She like, she was acting nice, but then I was trying just to like go along with the flow and like not make her go in front of, she didn't want to for some reason. So like, what's the approach should I like, do I try and counter that? Or is that not the way I should go? You should have done a standoff, Charlie. You said, no, you go ahead. I can't. Yeah. A little, I insist after you. Yep. You got it. You could dry a, a age before beauty. I don't know how that would have went, but age, age before beauty. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're also, did you see Shaquille O'Neal on this cruise?

I did not know the princess cruise. Oh, I was going to say, I feel like that guy, the amount of commercials he does, you would think he just lives on cruise ships. Also carnival worst cruise in the world. I've never been on a cruise, but I just, I just, I don't imagine Shaquille O'Neal is going on any cruises by the way. No, I don't think he's ever stepped foot on a cruise. How would he fit in one of the bedrooms? Aren't the ceilings like super low and it's, you know, they kind of pack them in like stacked up like cordwood in there.

Yeah. They're not too big. Yeah. Yeah. Most of it. I mean, you can get a suite, but those are pretty expensive Yeah, I went on one cruise in my life. It was a bachelor party I shared like a four bunk room with like six dudes worst experience of my life You'd have to pay me to step on another cruise ship So were you like sleeping in a sleeping bag? No, I was not, first of all, I barely slept, but I think I was on the ground

or I was sharing a cot with another fella. I don't recommend it. I don't recommend cruise ships. No, not a big cruise guy. No. Nope, I'd rather go to the local bar to play ping pong. But what else, what else you got on your mind, anything? That's about it.

Charlie, I am coming to see your show in Atlanta. Oh nice, that'll be awesome, man. Yeah, I think it's November, I believe. Oh cool, well. Yeah, I'm very excited. Charlie, did you know you're going to Atlanta in November? I do now, I do now. I'm gonna be in Atlanta in November folks

Well, thank you for coming out Yeah, shacks doing all those commercials loves cruises There's no way he's ever been on a cruise Definitely not a carnival. The the business opportunity came across his desk and he says, I guess we're doing cruises, boys. He said, I'm going to bump up the retirement with this one. Well, Charlie, is that it? I think that's it. Myles says another bellied up podcast in the books. Yeah, guys. Thanks for tuning in. Remember to tip your bartender. We'll see in the next one.