Bellied Up - Our Most Unforgettable Call #146

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

We are in Nashville. TN. at Luke's Bridge 32. (10:10) First caller is getting frustrated with hand signals while driving. (27:03) Next caller is Angela... don't really know how to describe it to be honest. ENJOY!

How old is she? Your daughter? Oh my God, Charlie. It's not a, it's not a dating. That's not why I was asking. Welcome back to another episode of the bellied up podcast today. Ladies and gentlemen, we are in Nashville, Tennessee, Nashville. We took the show on the road guys. Here we are. I guess we've always had it on the road. It's always been on the road. It's always been well in the bar on the road. But what road is this bar on miles? We are on Broadway and at Luke's 32 bridge, the Luke Bryan bar downtown. Um, good and kind of big time, Charlie, big

time. I would say big time. Yeah. They sent us all the way up to the tippity top of this thing. I mean, there were four flights of stairs. My ass, I was sucking a hind tit by the time I got up here. I haven't sucked time to it in a while and it's technically hind teat. Okay. So I hinted some else, you know, but anyways, miles. It's nice to be here with you. Hind tit, something else, you know? But anyways, Miles, it's nice to be here with you. I like in Nashville how you got, like Luke Bryan's got a bar across the street, Kid Rock's got a bar, Luke's is called 32 Bridge,

Kid Rock's is called, what's it called? It's spinning the sign, the big ass honky tonk. Yep. Great name, okay. So Miles, if you had a bar, what would your name be? Well, first of all, I would either just be, it would probably just be miles miles miles is it. See, my name's tough. Yeah. Miles is maybe. Yeah. Miles is, but you wouldn't put your last name on it. Yeah. People would just be like mom, Mount pleasure. Yeah. You know, it would just be like, Mom, my mount pleasure.

Yeah. You know, it could just be Mount Pleasures, too. That's not. And it's just a big mountain. Miles is Mount of Pleasures. That's like a casino game, honestly. That's like a that's like a ding, ding, ding, ding. You know, and the mountain just gets bigger and bigger. This slot machine and then guy on the side in the climate. Yeah. And it's like, whoa, it's about to burst.

And then all of like pleasures just come out of it, you know? So suddenly money volcano on the top. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's just spewing out like weird stuff. Beer. No, it's snow. Oh, it's out snow. Oh, Miles, come on. Now, come on, come on. Come on. That's a dirty joke. Your name, your first and last name is much more suited for a bar name than mine. Yeah. Charlie Barron's watch your own Bobber bar. I like that. Yeah. That's very good. And then basically I don't want any, you could do big old bass as well. Charlie Baron's big old bass bar.

That's actually good. A big bass bar. Charlie Baron, Charlie, Charlie Baron's big bass bar. Just Baron's big ass, big bass bar. Baron's big bass bar. I liked that honestly, bass bar. I liked that honestly, you know, and, and it works. And then there's a big bass like, you know, about to bite someone in the ass, you know? Yeah, that'd be good. I'll be good. The big bad barons, big bass bar and miles mount of pleasure. We found it. We found it one day miles. It's going to be very confused with a strip club. It's yeah. People are going to think that they're going to going into a gentleman's club. They're going to be very disappointed when honestly let's get ahead of it. Let's just make it

a gentleman's club. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to not love it, but whatever. Well, you got to do it differently. You know, I was actually just doing some shows out in Portland and their strip clubs are, it's a different thing. I didn't go to mom. Okay. So don't get all fussy with me now, but they have vegan strip clubs and I'm serious. It says on the sign, vegan strip club.

And I don't think it was a gimmick. I think they're only using pleather, uh, G strings. So it's pretty wild. And then there's a fair trade one too. And I don't even want to think about what's being traded. Oh no. I just spilt all over me. You're a mess.

And your backpack. You know what? Well, one, that's not my backpack, but two, that's- Whose is this? That is karma for you spilling the coffee on me on that one episode. That's true. That's true. Yeah, I do apologize for that again. Did anyone ever comment on us pulling belly button lint out of our stuff? What's that? Yeah, they thought that was pretty.

I hope when we did that on that episode that there was a thousand guys that all at the same time when we did it, they pulled out their lint. I like to think there was. We should have asked everyone to send us lint picks. Yeah, sure. And then like shown the biggest ball of lint out of someone's belly button. Yeah. Well, and then you got guys out there like just raw dog and fleeces just to stack the numbers. You know, I mean, you go out there with a fresh fleece. Those things are shedding like nobody's. Don't wash it first.

Yeah, you don't wash it and you just go out there. I mean, you got a whole pot hole filled. You know what I mean? And also what we didn't really think about with that whole episode was the fellows with the Audi belly buttons. Yeah, they'll never know the pleasure of sticking a finger in their belly button, pulling out a little limp ball. Yeah, now that we've turned off every female listener from this podcast. Now that the women are gone, guys, let's chat.

All right, fellas, let's really talk about Miles's Strip Club now. Oh, yeah. Well, Miles, what do you think? I think we're going to have a good show here at Luke's 32 Bridge. I mean, imagine if we had two bars next to each other in downtown Broadway will be competing. Well, no, no, no. We're compliments. We're compliments. They first go to your, the, the barons, big bass bar. And then after at about like, you know, 10 30, they go over to the gentleman's. So my job is to set them up for you to spike. You know, I gotta get them liquored up to make bad enough decisions

to jeopardize their marriage. You know? Yeah. Well, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to support that, but well, I mean, you know, okay, fine to jeopardize their situationship. A lot of bachelor parties in this town, too. Yeah. So we're we're shooting this on a Monday morning on the way here. I saw four gals, five gals, four of them had pink cowgirl hats and one had the little like veil with the bride on it. And I was shocked. Yeah, that they're doing it on Monday morning. Think about it.

They got to be from the Midwest and their Midwest cheap. That's exactly like I get. Oh, well, shit hotels Monday through Wednesday are actually pretty cheap. Let's just do it then. Dude, I guarantee you they have a Friday wedding or like a father's day wedding or like a father's day wedding or what are the other days like an Easter Sunday wedding, labor day, wedding labor day is that that might be a good day.

There are like a few days out like our. No, they're they're they're weddings on like Wednesday, Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah. Cheapest I could get because actually Friday weddings now are expensive too, because a lot of people start doing those, you know, yeah. When do the Wednesday wedding would be great because then you only get the O.G.s. You know, that's true. It's almost like doing. You should do a destination wedding to Arkansas because that way it'll just really loves us. Yeah, right. Like if you want to elope, but your mom's like, don't elope. Fine. Arkansas destination wedding. See you there and make it in Wednesday in the dead of summer.

You know, 100 percent and it'll be great. That's what you should do at your next wedding. Hey, my next one. There you go. Actually, we were saying on when we were getting here, I'd never been to Arkansas. So never been to Arkansas. Go hog hunting before. Oh, there you go. Actually, we were saying on when we were getting here, I'd never been to Arkansas. So never been to Arkansas. We go hog hunting before. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Gil, maybe get one put on a spigot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

Then you got you got dinner for all the guests. There you go. Camo tux. We can just wear it and we'll do it. We'll do the helicopter version. You heard about that? The people go hog hunting with like a turret in a helicopter and they just mow them down. God. I was thinking something else with helicopter. Cause he said talks and you were like helicopter. What are you doing on a helicopter? Yeah. That's like, that's for people with like a lot of money to burn, you know because if you think about

helicopter fuel is pretty expensive apparently I know nothing of the Fuel market a friend of mine a friend of mine wanted to do a helicopter tour of a city Because he was trying to impress a gal and he said you would not believe The amount of money you got to pay to do this and I said, how is it that expensive? I'm talking several hundred dollars for a half hour And he said just the price of helicopter fuel and I said, you know, you never think about the price of helicopter fuel

I've never once until now. I know. Yeah. So anyways, boy, if we've we've touched on a lot of subjects already today, miles, I know we're dialed in. Yeah, we are dialed in. I'm feeling good. Should we take some colors? You think let's do it? Let's do it. So guys, we got James here and he has a beef with turn signals, hand signals. Yeah, it's, so we do hay here in Michigan and we run some old tractors. They don't got turn signals on them like the new fancy guys with you know the big pockets. And so I always get a little nervous every year coming up for hay season running down the road wondering if I'm gonna to get smack. And I tried to do the right thing and use my hand signals,

which I think we all were supposed to learn in driving school. Yeah. And I don't know the lady down the street apparently doesn't know how to use them or read them because she almost took me out last year. No way. What happened? I was making a left turn over into one of our fields here. The neighbor's daughter down the street thought, I guess I was giving her the go ahead with my, you know, I threw my left arm out there, you know, kind of like I was trying to close line a WWE move. She neighbors kid, I guess, didn't understand that. And tried to go around me.

I locked up the brakes, put the tractor sideways. Oh, oh, like it was another day. So wait, wait, wait, wait. You put you locked up the brakes and put the tractor sideways. Well, yeah. So I was started. I put my, I saw her behind me, you know, swiveled the head around. Yeah. And I put my good old, you know, useful left-hand turn signal out there. And I guess she said, okay, it's my turn to pass you. Nope. Yeah. So we'll try. Let's see if you know the hand signals. Yep. So give me I'm turning left. I'm turning

right. I am left and right. Which one is down? Cause there's a down like, well, the one that's down is down is breaking and holding it up. Like you're about to give somebody a high five as a right hand turn. Yeah. Cause you've got the right angle. Okay. So clothesline that means left. Okay. Right. Uh, angle that that's right hand turn. Okay. And then down, that means breaking. All right. That's good. I didn't know the breaking one. What other ones do we have to teach people since obviously they don't learn this no more?

Well, I think that's it, but you know, it's just, I'm not gonna, you know, we got, I'm lucky enough to have four way flashers on this old pile of junk, but I'm not going to go out and buy, you know, a flasher kit for it. That just sounds ridiculous. So it's, I mean, kind of one of those situations, Charlie, but by trying to be safer, you've made it more dangerous. It is true. Had you not even waived her on, I just started turning. You probably wouldn't even be in this scenario. Yeah. So next time you just got to be a little less considerate of the person behind you and hope it all works out. No. Oh, okay. So you're saying like kind of like the four lane change East coast or a type deal.

Yeah. Why that the tractor driving? Yeah, you just well, that's a scary thing, man, because, you know, you're you probably you don't have a cab in there either. You could just go flying if she hits you. Well, yeah, you hope you go farther than the tractor does. Yeah, that's true. You could just try giving everyone the universal hand signal. Yeah. What's that? Oh, all the you let the bird fly.

Yeah. Yeah. That that'll you know, that's really going East Coast. Yeah. Well, yeah. If you do your initial hand signal and they don't get it, then you give the universal hand signal. Oh yeah. That's true. That'll work. It's weird. You just want a good solution because I don't want to have to give old Russell your buddy a call every time. Try to make it. That's true. Yeah. But if you do end up in that situation again, call Nikolai. Yeah, definitely give them a buzz. So how's the hay business going right now? Oh, well, we're waiting here in Michigan for first cut usually Memorial day weekend. Yeah.

If we're lucky coming up good for you knowing, oh shit. Yeah, that's not what we like to see. No, but I mean, it should. It should pan out. You know, maybe we might be able to afford the $200 flasher kit this year. I don't know. Kind of a steep, steep, you know, you spend 200 bucks on a lot of things, $200 a beer or a flasher kit. What I think you should do is all you're going to do is end up

spending like maybe eight seventy five at the local drugstore. You're going to get yourself three, three tack boards or like poster boards, and then you're going to get some zip ties and then you're going to cut a zip ties and then you're going to cut a hole the top of each poster board then zip tie it to the back of the trailer or back of your seat or whatever and then you just paint a big arrow left right and a stop sign and then you can just flip that around whatever you're doing and then you don't even have to buy turn signals.

Oh wow. Oh I like this. Yeah. This is like comic ingenuity. Yeah, this is Midwest ingenuity at its finest. This is great. A little swivel almost. You could have a little swivel thing behind it because you got to think he's on if there's zip ties and that's going to be a, you know, like an old school scoreboard where they flip the numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, now I see even better. I like that. Yeah, you know, and if you want,

we'll sponsor that right here. We will send you, that's gotta be about $16, $17. Yeah, yeah, we could sponsor it. We'll sponsor it. If you want that, you let us know. Oh yeah. We'll cash app you $16, $17, miles will. Just let us know your cash app.

And if you want us to go a next step further, we'll order it from you off of Walgreens.org.com. We'll get that sent out right over. And then we get, yeah. of Walgreens.org.com rather. We'll get that sent right over. And then we get, yeah, then you, but this is only a deal if you write on the bottom says, this turn signal is brought to you by Bellydub Podcast. Yeah. And then have our QR code

so that they can listen to the podcast. Well, now we're at an advert, now we're asking them to advertise for us for free miles. Well, I started doing the math on how many people are going to see this and 16, 17 bucks is probably appropriate for that advertisement. Well, the neighbors daughter is what it sounds like. Oh yeah. Parade flow. There there you go. All right now we're talking If you want to drive your tractor through the middle of a suburban area, then I'm down You got it. Oh, then we'll start paying what town are you there in Michigan?

We're we're over here in Oxford, which I guess people could call Detroit because anywhere an hour and change from Detroit is Detroit Okay, do you guys have a parade coming up? You know, I don't know off the top of my head, but by by golly, I could guess get on the interwebs and look it up. No, no, we don't want you doing that. Plus, you're supposed to be cutting Memorial Day weekend anyway. So that's when a lot of parades are. But, you know anyways well I think we got you on in a good way there any other pet peeves you got with

drivers and tractors on the road I mean I got plenty of them but the the one thing I did want to bring up which is unrelated to tractors was I'm sure you guys are familiar with the Culver's. Yeah. That correct. Oh yeah. We know Culver's so intimately. Well, so they installed one of those bad boys in the town here and the doctor goes, you know, Hey, I see your, you really gained some weight this year. I go, well, yeah. They, he goes, what's going on? I go, you didn't see they put a Culver's in town. He goes, no, I go, well, yeah. What do you think I've been eating? It's only the best place in the Midwest.

So my proposition is this is, listen, I know, I know the bar is is a sacred place, right? Like a church place. And I think we can talk the same language you guys are creasters I'm one of the same sure and so I what my proposition is can we make Culver's a Shrine of the Midwest like you know how there's shrines for the good old church that you go to visit Can we make Culver's a shrine of the Midwest? You want us? This place is just phenomenal to enshrine the Culver's all Culver's or just your Culver's.

No, no, all of them, because I think they're all equally responsible for early onset diabetes. And if you're from the Midwest, you got to have that in you somewhere. I mean, I think Culver's isn't far off from being a shrine in the Midwest. Got that homestyle feel. They got cheese curds, the whole thing. I think the only thing that Culver's is missing is a roadside attraction at each location. That's true.

Yeah. Yeah, I do want I kind of wish that they had a fiberglass something or another. The world's largest blank. Yes. Yes. The world's largest fiberglass balloon, another world's largest blank. Yes. Yes. The world's largest fiberglass loon, the world's largest fiberglass musky, you know, Paul Bunyan, Paul Bunyan, the whole thing. Yeah. The world's biggest penny, you know?

I mean the world's biggest curd will just, Oh yeah. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. Fiberglass curd. There we go. Hopefully it's not gonna be very aesthetically pleasing Just gonna be a giant yellow ball. That's cut. Well, they deep-fry them there, too So what it should be is a fried Cheese curd pulled apart by Way more interesting and then you get the cheese kind of connecting

the two deep fried ones. Yeah. And then they get out there and spray paint that. And then people can take a photo by sitting on the cheese in the middle. Oh yeah. Oh Culver should pay us at this point. I mean, genius idea. You just, you just put it next to your hardware store beer place. Yeah. Next door. Yeah. Yeah. Holy smokes.

Now we're cooking with gas here. I mean, I think that we don't have a, are you good with fiberglass in addition to tractors? You know what? Any farmer, you give some bailing twine in there. We'll probably make it work. Yeah. Yeah. I think also too, Charlie, if we're, if Culver's is committing to the cheese roadside attraction, they got to have a location with a squeaky cheese curd with a button that when you press it, the, the current squeak. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. Press press. And you, do you pay a quarter? We could. Yeah. Yeah. I think we got we got to recoup our investment in the squeaker.

Plus, that squeaker is going to need maintenance. So something to think about. What's funny is like, you know, like top the Empire State Building, you can like pay a quarter or whatever and then look through the little magnifying viewfinder thing. If we did that in the Midwest, what you would end up, you'd put it in there and you'd be looking and then you would just be staring directly at another person that's doing that. Like 15 miles. I thought you were going to

say, put it right in front of the cheese. So they can look at it better. That's a good idea. Yeah. Especially in North Dakota. It's so flat. If they had those in multiple towns, you would just be staring at the other person. They could just have like a walkie talkie and you guys could just be like, Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah. That's a great idea. No, I thought of that North Dakota where you can watch your dog run away for eight miles. Well, man, we appreciate you calling in today. I know. Thanks for having me guys. And then Charlie, I just want to let you know, listening to the episodes here recently. And somebody asked about you rematching miles for the good old arm wrestle arm wrestle.

Yeah. I just need to warn you. You know, I got young kids like miles has, you know, his new one. You got to watch out. He's going to be carrying that kid around all the time. You got, you know, a 20 pound kid on your arm. Oh, you're not going to win this battle. Yeah. That's why his arm's strong. Okay. Are you delay this? The more my kid's going to weigh in the less chance you got to beating me ever again. You know what? I'm crushing the, the 30 racks. I've been lifting three 30 racks every day. Just, just to warm up for my next chance. He's gonna, he's gonna I'm going to show you guys that I am stronger than miles.

So don't you worry. I'm just I'm giving you insider review. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. And congrats on your kid there, too. How many you got? We got two of them. Another one coming up. I'm going to show you guys that.

I'm going to show you guys that. I'm going to show you guys that. I'm going to show you guys that. I'm going to show you guys that. I'm thank you. I appreciate that and congrats on your kid there, too. How many you got? We got two of them another one coming on the way in June. Oh, there you go Still getting the tractor in the barn, huh? Nice. You make one you make a mistake. You might as well make it three times in a row. There you go Yeah, sometimes you live and learn other times You just live I like your style All right, well listen you guys be good don't have you know have one two three many beers for me and

Tell your folks I says hi. Yeah, you too watch for deer out there on that tractor. All right, they definitely don't know the turn signals Yeah, you bet. No problem. All right, real good. Now. We'll see you soon Nice guy Parking the tractor in the barn. Do you like that? That's a little there was a Hmm a love-making innuendo. Yeah. I got that. Yeah. So, yeah. But you know, a lot of people don't know those turn signals, but now they do. And that's what really this podcast is all about. Miles is spreading information through the bar. Yeah. Sometimes misinformation. Yeah. Oftentimes in fact, I think we got this one

right. I do too. Yeah. Right. Left. Oh, I was nervous. I was nervous. Call the ambulance. Cherries and berries had to come cherries and berries had to come. What are you talking about? The cops had to come rectify the situation. Oh, that's what you're talking about. I was thinking of mo cherries and berries. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So miles you're driving down the road, right? Yep. You get rear ended. Someone hits you from the rear. I mean, talk about a pain in the rear. right? Yep. You get rear ended. Someone hits you from the rear. I mean, talk about a pain in the rear. Talk about a pain in the rear. Good play on words there, miles, but you get out the car and you're a good Midwest guys. So

what do you do as soon as you get hit by the car? Start apologize, start apologize and say, yeah, this was completely my fault. I am so sorry. Well, if you get out there and you start Midwest, nice in an accident, well, you're going to be on the hook legally speaking. Oh, so don't Midwest nice accident. Well, better yet, before you open your mouth, you better call Nikolai law. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. See. And he'll tell you, you know, just, just be mom about it. It'll give you a lot of other good tips too. So if you've been injured in an accident, don't give the insurance companies more cards in their deck. Okay. Call Nikolai law. He'll even the playing field. Cause we all know you play cards on a field.

Welcome to the belly to podcasts podcasts who we talking to. Well, you're talking to Angela. Oh, Angela, you got Charlie here with me. How you doing? Oh, you know, I was just driving out to run an errand because you boys were taking so long, but that's okay. Oh, sorry for taking so long. What are you out there getting?

What's your errand? Oh, you know, just the taking so long. What are you out there getting? What's your errand? You know just a day off drink That's your errand to the bar or did you go to the liquor store? Okay, well good for you good for you I heard your I heard you're struggling with the new golf course in town. Oh, boy. Which one? The one that comes into my property or the one that is actually a golf course? Let's do both. Let's start with the property. All those sons of bitches. Yeah, they put a ball right with the property. All those sons of bitches.

They put a ball right through the window. Oh, you got a ball in your window, huh? Well, hang on. Did you buy a house right on a golf course or is this just coming in? No, no, no, I'm not. No, I'm not stupid like that. Okay. No, I live in an apartment complex. I'm not stupid like that.

Okay. No, I live in an apartment complex. Okay. When you move from the city down to, you know, rural Wisconsin, you think you're safe, but then you think you're shooting. All right. You get scared sometimes. What we're going to have to back this train up. So you were in what city?

Oh, I lived in a St. Louis Park for 23 years. Oh, okay. Right over there in the Twin Cities. And then you moved to what city are you in now where this golf course seems to be a problem? Can I say Grantsburg, Wisconsin? Okay. All right. So you moved into an apartment building there Knowing there was a golf course right next to it. Oh Yeah, but you know if you're taking a shot off the first wall actually it's I think it's the third key there You got Green then you got whatever they call roughage. And then you got a city street that's

about, you know, four car lengths wide. Then you got another four car lengths wide and to our property. So who is splicing the ball? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Charlie, you just told me that you went golfing in that set up miles. Shut up. And you were talking about shut up. He said there was this crazy lady on her balcony yelling at you after you broke her window. You know, the funny thing is that's why I don't golf. I golf once a year and I hit a home run. That's why I don't golf I golf once a year and I hit a home run that's where you hit a home and you run and Unfortunately this time it was an apartment run Wow bummer boys. Oh boys stop with your town foolery. You know it was you

Just fess up Wow, how much do I owe you for the big idea? It's not a big idea because I don't own the property. You know what I mean? That's true. That's true. Yeah. So I did it. So sorry about that. I apologize. Can I have my ball back? Those are, yeah, actually I still have it on the, I I'm not bullshitting. You know, I'll send you all over a picture. I still have it on my thing. Is it just to make sure it's your ball? Is it a practice for no, he, he still hasn't gotten those balls made yet. I know he didn't cause you guys talked about them in an later

issue. Yeah. I get some golf. Oh yeah. And these aren't peach colored. No. I think I have a good memory. Oh man. What else is grinding your gears? Oh yeah. I went to the store the other day to grab a package of Cool Whip because I was making that yellow salad. You know the one with the cocktail, you know the one with the cocktail

You know you put the cocktail Fruit stuff in it with the marshmallows the package. Oh god, don't get me started on the jello. Oh, that is Kidding and then you put some cottage cheese Yeah, you put the cottage cheese in there good for by the way applause to you on your cooking but the gel It's taking you to jello packets not to make that they got a salmon They cut it in half and they're selling it twice now Yeah, because you got to make smaller batches because he's gosh damn family don't know how to have farm kids Packages to make a small stupid ass, you know, I'm trying to make you a nine by six pan or Joe.

And I can't, I'm pissed off for you. Yeah. Yeah. That's terrible. And it's all starts with these gosh darn farm families not having enough kids. Yeah. You gotta get out there and just spray and pray you know thank you but Charlie I think it's the chemicals I think they're putting a little more chemicals into you know the farm than they are into their wieners Wow okay so more chemicals in the farms and the wieners what kind of chemicals were people putting in their wieners back in the day? I'm actually not on this algorithm, not down this rabbit hole. Oh, you never read the Marshall Times? Marshall Times published it, the MSG report.

I've read- All the hot dogs are bad. I've read the hot dogs are bad. Okay. Okay. Hot dogs are bad. All right. Those are the wieners you're talking about. Now that makes more sense.

That makes more sense. Your mind as a gutter. We're not even done with the day. Hey, my Lord. You will. Anyways, let's get back, let's get back to the fruit salad. Let's get back to it. Yeah. So I went to pick up the Tupperware, you know,

to get it put in my fruit salad. Yeah. And as soon as I opened, my new Tupperware lid broke. Come on. How long have you had that Tupperware? The Tupperware. I just bought it. The Tupperware lid broke. Come on. How long have you had that Tupperware? The Cool Whip. I just bought it Jeff. The Cool Whip.

Oh my God, you're not listening. No, I heard you say Tupperware. The Cool Whip container. Okay. It is the Tupperware, Charlie. Oh, it's the Tupperware. Oh my gosh. Wow.

Yeah, I was just doing it. Don't even get me started now. Okay. Good Lord. I heard you loud and clear. I was, I was following the whole time. You know, what a tragedy that you'd crack the Tupperware top too. They're not making them like they used to. Did you even put it in the wash first or did it crack right off the gate? Right out the gate. I took that stupid plastic seal off. So no one puts their finger in it. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I just I literally I did you know an equal applied for both sides. You know some crap. Good Lord. Like it, they should. We got to bring those cool whip jobs back to America. That is true. The container job. Yeah. The container cool whip container jobs. Bring

them back here. Um, well that's if you heard me, my, my hand is pumping to my chest and I believe it. We've got to bring that back. So I got just a real quick question. Would you be willing to give us your jello salad recipe? Oh yeah, absolutely. It's easy. Super, super easy. You just got to pick everything up at the store, but it might cost you $120, not 120

cents. There's eggs in this recipe? up at the store, but it might cost you $120, not $120. There's eggs in this recipe? Oh, you know what, Dan Murrett, I should give you the banana split tort one. That would cost you $237. You could buy a lobster cheaper, you know? Stupid asses. What's the big deal? All right. Well, so we're probably not going to get that recipe after all. Huh? What? I

know. Yeah. But I don't think we have time for the patients because you know, you have to store it in the fridge let it set up yeah that's true that's true dare I ask you just want the rest the outlay there would dare ask what else is grinding your gears the county's paving all the road so there's no more springs coming up in the middle so I can't go mud bogging down the middle of the roads anymore. Gosh darn it. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Whatever happened to the natural springs? I'm asking the same question. You got a bunch of do-gooders out there saying we got to pave these roads, but do you? No, because then the taxes go up and then the eggs go up and then you know soon enough the farmers can't drive down the roads having fun mud bogging. And if the farmers don't have fun then they're not going to get laid anymore and then we don't have any farmers having any kids anymore and you got to make jello in smaller quantities. And there's still a lot of chemicals in these wieners and, oh my God, you guys are getting

it. We're going back to the days of dead. Yes. Yeah. It's, it's, you know, this world today we need, you know what we need? We need you in elected office, I think. I think we need the elect you queen. You darn betcha. And the first thing of priority, first thing of priority is cut paving roads because we need the money for other things like sober cabs, hello. How are we supposed to get our husbands

back from the bar safely? That's true. Sober cabs. I think sober cabs. Oh, sober. Sober cabs. Sober cabs funded by the government as opposed to the asphalt that heats up the sun. Dirty dogs.

Yeah. Dirty dogs is right. And then. Then also, we need, you know, fellers to come around and, you know, drink some lemonade or sweet iced tea, if it's your suit. And, you know, start doing things around the house. So the women, you know, get a little reindeer. Oh, wow. That's not know where I was going.

That's what gets you going. A feller coming around doing stuff around the house. Huh? Oh yeah. You know that flabby gut just hanging out with the belt trying to hold on. I got some under this package. I just can't fix it. Describe to us your ideal male body. What are you looking for? He's got to at least be, you know, five, six, just so he can hop up in his lifted truck. That'd be a lifted truck.

So then when he gets up there, you hear his belly hit the steering wheel. Cause his dumb ass stupid moron doesn't even realize there's a steering wheel lift. Should have lifted it up before he got out. But then again, men always don't think about that. And then I want to see his long bearded hair flow in the wind when he gets up there. It's not a lot to ask. You know, And then I want to see his long bearded hair flow in the wind when he gets up there. Okay. It's not a lot to ask. You know, it's really not.

Yeah. Um, are you? Nope. Just a lifted truck in a lifted steering wheel. That's all I'm asking. And a lifted gut. You got it all right there. How did you lift?

How did you live in St. Louis park for 23 years? Oh my God. Oh Max, I'm going to tell you stories and we'll keep it short, but cause we got to go with some time today. Cause I still have to go to the liquor shop. So I would be sitting there and so I went through college everything get all my good deeds for you know Society being a 1980s child you got to do some and then Everybody would always say how do you still talk like that? I said to them I said, you know guy comes over from Finland or something and he still talk like that. Why do I have to stop? Oh, I got picked on so much. Where did you grow

up? I got picked on so much. Oh, over there by, you know, down there by the vent. Oh, down there. Yeah. Down, you know, I I think it was who was it that saying that that orange tape, the banana, banana brothers or something. They used to sing something about hunting and fishing and farming. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that one. That song. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that one. That song. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know, I got the beer thing and do do do do do. I don't care what I'm fishing for. Just give me an acre and a couple or because I got them spring fishing. Who do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I just got done with some and he realized I was too much. Ah, all right. All right.

Sorry. Yeah. You're just you're not looking for a nothing now. Just taking time out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Not because I wanted it because there's nothing available. You know what I mean? Yeah. What's got no big gutters up here? Oh yeah. I got no big gutters up here. Told ya. Nobody willing to come up, you know, fix the window that you guys broke. That should be our next dating app.

Is something about only guys with big guts. Guys, gut guys. Guys with guts. No, no, no. They have to have that beard you know that beard that flows in the wind yeah when they're walking around yeah that's what gets you going some to grab onto yeah well you can always spread them for handlebars but you know i don't know I always spread them for handlebars, but you know, I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to do the backside. You know what I mean?

So let's, let's stay missionary here, Charlie. Let's focus. Focus. I'm not riding a big handled hog, you know. I didn't I didn't say you were. I was just thinking about your jello salad. That's all. That's all. Creamy. What'd you say? I said it's creamy. Delicious.

Mm. Goes down with a few bush lights, you know, you just made me spit take my beer all over the bar. Sorry, boys. I'll try to be more appropriate. Don't ever change. Heavenly father, heavenly father for everything. I went on a podcast with two boys younger than me and I made them choke. I didn't want to kill them, but I did. What else are you doing today? Oh, um, yeah. Well, see, I worked all week at the dairy cause I stay true to my roots, you know, farm life is going to make you the best wife. That's right.

And then so I stay true to my roots and then they give me these days off once in a while so I took the day off and I Decided I was gonna sit around the house and look at all the cleaning I had to do and wish that I had a nice Strap and fat man sitting outside my window, but I didn't so I decided to drink What are you drinking what's's your drink? Your go to? Well, do I have money or don't I? This day and age probably not. Okay, so then I'm doing Milwaukee's best if I can find

it on the shelf. Sometimes I have to go with the light, even though I'm not trying to lose weight. Cause trying to gain muscle, not lose weight. Yeah. Yeah. You've been, you've been working out, trying to gain some muscle or what? Charlie, I work at the dairy. You know how many pounds of dairy left

and how many paces I get and how many cases I get? That was what you guys to shake. That was miles who asked that. I would never ask such a question like that. Sorry, the Midwest fart in mind. I have a kid. So you have a child, you said? Yeah, I have one.

She was straight A student and she kind of talks like me, but she's funnier. Oh, wow. How old is she? Your daughter? Oh my god, Charlie. It's not a it's not a dating app. That's not why I was asking. It's just polite conversation. Oh, oh, my bad. Yeah. Cool it, Leonardo.

I had Bernice, Jenchek's husband come up to me and said, oh, that's a pretty little girl. I said, hey, feller, I know about you kind. And I had to walk away because. Oh, put me in the same category as Bernice Chinchak's husband. OK, for God's sake, I was just. You can't see anything bad about him because they raise the winter hogs down in their basement.

We can't see nothing bad about them. You always had food all year long. That's true. That's true. I guess I was just saying, they had chickens out in their. OK, anyway, so she's a seventh grader. I'm not going to divulge her age, but that's fine. That's that's just

she she advanced so she's not as old as she should be for. Yeah. Oh, she, she's a great, she skipped up a grid. She did. She did. They said, they said this little bastard is not going to make it. She is too smart for all these damn kids. Let's go. Good for her. So what would you say? I have a little, almost 10 month old now, and I'm about to get into the phase of life where I got to teach this kid how the world works and how to be smart in school. What is the best parenting advice you can give me. Oh, buckle up. Here we go. No, you don't lie to your kid. Okay. You have me on straight forward. I contact tell them where the bear shit's in the woods. You tell them number Number two, I always talk to her in Spanish, French, and in English. Always.

So she knows Spanish and she knows how to count Spanish in a hundred. She knows French in a hundred. She knows English in probably 20. I don't know. She never really speaks it, but just open their minds to different things and don't watch that stupid. Those other colored people that sit on a PBS with the big bellies and the stupid shapes on her head. Oh, the telly.

I did not know where we were going. I did not know where that was. I was concerned for a minute there. I was concerned. Don't subject her to that. Okay. Cause for him, him, sorry. Right. It's a him. Yeah. Okay. So what you're going to do is start talking right now. Like they're an adult. Cause that's what I did with her. Cause when they start talking, you want them to start talking to you. Yeah, that's true. Oh, you, it's just, Oh, you got it. Go do that. All right. So, uh, Charlie is going to, uh, you're going to give me a parenting lesson. Charlie is my kid and you're going to, he just, he just got home from school.

Stop. Stop. Stop. He's in jail already. I'm in jail already. What are you talking about? Oh boy. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in jail. So if Charlie, if Charlie was a kid and he came home from school and said, I got a C minus on my report card, what Charles, whatever. How is it to turn in your fucking paperwork? Because you know that's what he was doing. He was just sitting there. you know that's what he was doing he was just sitting there he didn't put his paperwork in Charles what do you have to say for yourself? en español or no? si, tu quiero por español? espanol?

oh wow Oh, wow. I learned it in the fall phase. How do you French? I guess French Tango on say in me report to Cardo. Cudo. Boy, boy, you need you need to go back. You need to go back. Okay, great. So you know three different languages, huh?

Yes, and I know sign language tool and I'm doing it right now, but you can't see it because obviously we're on the telephone. Jared, what did I say? I want to teach my kid. What are the three languages you wanted? English, French, Spanish, and sign language. Wow. That's what I said on a previous podcast. Look at this. You got your tutor right now. I couldn't be more on board with your parenting style. Hang on. Did you live abroad? I, I, I did jump And they laughed at me too. Where'd you live? Where'd you live? I lived in, I lived in France for six months and then I lived in Spain. Nice. Wow. How long in Spain? Yeah. Oh, I only did a three month tour and then I got sick of him

Wow, I just imagine those guys aren't really your style over there with the skinny jeans and You know working out and all that Miles we call them metrosexual Got it. Thank you for clearing that up. They have their, they have their, um, we're a little more tighter than I think they should. I like how she cleared her throat. Like she was going to say it and she was an innuendo and then just said wieners went for, yeah. So yeah, they got there. They got

their packages shrink wrapped over there. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what happens? I mean, unless it's self rising, which yeah, sometimes no. But anyways, it was a good, it was a good fun time. Oh, yeah. Miles, I would tell you that I did teach her how to speak sign language to me before she did talk. Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. So she would tell me when she was hungry, she would tell me like apple,

or she would tell me to fuck off. I mean, whatever she wanted. How do you say fuck off? Oh, I know that one. You don't even have to. Yeah do you say fuck off? Oh, I know that one. Yeah, you don't say it. Yeah, it's not. No. So I know more. This is more right.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I got I got I got picked on a lot because of my. My my my accent but they did tell me when I Wow. Nice. I put the dick in. Yeah. She's just trying to work that. That was good. That was good. No, no, no, no, I'm just sorry. No, actually they do say I have perfect fiction when I talk Spanish. Well, that's really great. They say I'm a CIA. Were you just out there for men or were you working out there? Working. Are you in the CIA?

Wish. I'd come over there right now and bust you in. Yeah, bust me in. Well. No, I was very fortunate. I, when I, um, I left home early and when I, when I left my mom and dad's house, it wasn't, you know, it was, it was a good time, but you know, it's small town. Uh, cousin was hitting on me kind of small town.

Cousin was hitting on me kind of small. And I decided that I needed to move to the Twin Cities. So I moved out there and then I started in with a culinary school. So I got really smart, I guess. I don't know. So yeah, so yeah, I got a full ride over to France to study with Miss Lynn, our chef. Yeah. Wow. That's awesome.

So you got some really good jello salad is what you're telling us. Oh, if you got the right marshmallows, you'll have the right salad. Telling you about those tiny ones. You can't get those tiny ones. That's good life advice. You can't get that. You can't get that Jiffy pop stuff. That's too fake right now.

You need to go in for the hard sugar one, the hard sugar, like our family or best value. Yeah. Full gelatin. Yeah, well, Jello, J-E-L-O, no. Well, this has been really nice chit chatting with you. Oh yeah, you know, anytime. Hey, by the way, I, I just was going to talk to you guys about, uh, what do you guys got coming up now? Well, I know you're going to be up here. Yeah, we'll be up there soon yet still. And, uh, and then we'll be around there

at that this summer at some point. Yeah. We'll be up. We'll be down there. We'll be we'll be up. And then the fall we're going up there. Yeah. We'll probably yeah. We'll be you keep an eye out. We'll be around. You know. Yeah. Okay. I'll let you know when I get off probation. Maybe I'll come and see you. I can't just go really nearly around this whole country. You know? Yeah. But you can go to a liquor store. That's fine. That was so dumb of us to assume she could travel outside. You two guys, you're silly. Okay. Well, I was just going to say you're a hoot and a how are you stay in touch now? Okay. Well, you know, my phone number, I got yours.

Um, but anyways, you two fellers, um, you take it easy. And by the way, your mom, she called me the other day, Charlie, turn your fucking paperwork in. Oh my God. Question answered. Charlie's real problem in schools that he was cheating off of me. And so that's how you got to see minus. I picked the wrong person to cheat on. You can't pass that one, Miles, because you're out in the middle of nowhere Fargo. No, you can't pass that one, Miles, because you're out in the middle of nowhere, Fargo. No, you can't pass that one. No, you're right. You didn't meet Charlie until about a few years ago. Come on, man. Stay up with your dance.

But boys, listen, there's a lot of trash pandas out there right now. Okay. So watch out for the trash pandas. And you know, the dish chickens are out too. Cause it's nice. Yeah. Most of all those fucking here. Watch out for them. Fucking here. All right. Well, real good. Tell your folks. I says, hi. Yes, please do. Oh no need to. They'll call me. I'll tell them. I says, hi, free. Yeah. I suppose it's all right boys. Will you be good now? Hey, now let me tell you the nursing before we go. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? You go out and get a package of that cool whip and you tell me I'm not wrong. We'll get that cool whip and we'll, we'll make sure that it comes

off nice and good. Otherwise we got to start a revolution. And we got a problem with manufacturing. We got a problem with big container. Oh, and that country crack. Oh, that country crack. Country crack. You can't go wrong with that one.

That that seals a little nicer than the cool whip on the leftovers. Yeah, but they were in that stupid rectangle. I know. I know. Just bring back the circle, for God's sake. Give us what we're used to. And also start putting coffee back in a can again. What was wrong with a can? Oh, my God. No, because, you know,

you watch these videos on these other countries. They put them in bags now and they sell it to you in these bags. One time use but you still got put in a fucking cup. Yeah right. No that's what I'm saying like what was wrong with the tin can coffee you know because then afterwards you got a good screw jar. You try putting. Not even that you I because the raffles are coming up here because it's spring. Yeah, and you got you know The hunter raffle you got the bow raffle everything down at the VFW. Yeah They're gonna need a coffee fucking can they are Am I gonna have to have my daughter go back to paper for Ms. Shann? I mean, you might have to at this point.

You know? Oh yeah, you know, that won't last over all that beer still. No, I don't think so. It'll slop up pretty good, but there's nothing that feels better than slapping down a nice, hard, tin coffee can on the deal. It feels sturdy and everything.

You tried doing that with the plastic ones, just think, you know, people aren't thinking about these things. Break at the bottom. Yeah, they do. Oh boy. You know what? You're going to have to call me back. I'm getting thirsty. Um, just, you know, call me back later and we'll, we'll talk about more plastic shit like the stupid milk jugs. Oh, that's a whole other can of worms right there. Well, it's not a can. Well, it's a jug of worms. Well, anyway, you be good, all right?

No, you take care. Drive safe and watch out for those trashcans. We will. We'll be looking out for them, okay? Hey, keep your trashcans on tighter though. You know, cause they can get in there you leave a little gap They got fingernails They'll get it up. Oh, you know, I I got this stupid ass bear that lives in my town

Yeah, a bunch of them. Yeah, and they tip over my stupid garbage can all the time you know, yeah, you gotta you gotta outsmart them a bit and you set up a little little box for it with and you put some bricks on the side and they're not gonna be able to push it over then yet. Or you get an actual dumpster and put a lock on it. They're they're hip to you. No way. I'm carrying out six trash bags. You think I want to sit and put it down with shit all over my hands and unlock a lot? Well, I'm just saying they need to learn their place. Well, then you better teach them their play. You get the BB gun. I'm going to set up all night. Yep. Yeah. Well, I think I got a hand. One thing about a BB gun and a bear is you're just going to piss it off and then it's going

to be mad at you and they can climb. That's okay. Bring it on. I got that guy out there doing the front deck. Remember? Oh yeah. The guy is about as big as a bear. Also, you kind of have built in protection at your place because there's always golf

balls flying into it. So good luck bear. That is true. Yeah. And I'm going to send you over a picture of this golf ball and I'm going to paint it pink just for you Charlie and say it was yours. Please do. That would be nice. Well, I suppose you better get into the liquor shop and we got to keep removing here on on some more callers. So yeah, and I got to go take a nap to get over my drunk before my daughter gets home. All right. Yeah, sounds good, guys. Have a good one.

We'll see you soon. Keep it up. We will you till I think that was my first ever spit take on this podcast. She's on another level. I mean, that if we didn't stop her, it could have been the whole episode. Could have been. Well, I tried to not stop her and she she first we exchanged Midwest goodbyes three times. She wanted to go. Then we wanted to go and then she wanted to go and.

Watch out for the fucking deer. Trash pandas. Well miles another great episode of the belly dump podcast. We heard and seen it all this time. Yes we did. And I can't wait to hear and see more with your miles down this dusty road guys. If you're in Nashville you got to get to Luke's 32 bridge it's a great spot they got beer that's the thing you know as a midwesterner you go to Nashville for a first time you want to go to Broadway you don't know where to go run over to Luke's 32 bridge be a good time yep they have to all boys well guys thanks for tuning in to another episode of the

bellied up podcast don't forget to tip your bar tip your bartender we'll see the next one bye bye