Bellied Up - Secrets of The Mennonite Mafia #184

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

We’re at Your Office in Milwaukee, WI. Myles and Charlie brainstorm on how to spice up a surprise party. Then Lee calls in to tell us about the Mennonite mafia, China, and his dating life. Then Alex calls in for a nice chat. https://prizepicks.onelink.me/ivHR/be...⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠use promo code: belliedup 0:00 Surprise Parties 14:37 Mennonite Mafia1:11:01 Alex

Welcome to the bellied up podcast, ladies and gentlemen. My name's Charlie Barrens. I'm here with my companion. I'm here with my partner. I'm here with my friend. Miles, but you bet you guy. Miles, how are you doing today?

Happy to be here, Charles. Thank you for touching my hand. Thank you for having me today. Now the arm touch. I like it. I like it. Miles. I was thinking, I like surprises.

To you. I like being surprised. What kind of surprise? I, we're talking like you're driving down the road, you're looking in the glove box for a napkin and then you look up and there's a deer in the middle of road, that kind of surprise

or like you get home from work and you go in the bedroom and your girlfriend is dressed up like a deer. What kind of surprise are we talking? Wow, Miles, how'd you know I was in the furries, dude? Gotta be kidding me.

No, I'm kind of thinking like surprise birthday parties. Okay. You know? So you want someone to throw you a surprise birthday birthday. I've never had a surprise birthday party, Miles. I wonder what it's like. I mean, have you ever had a surprise birthday? I have never had a surprise birthday. I've also like I'm, I do, I feel like I give off the aura that I don't like surprise parties. That's why I haven't thrown you one yet. Yeah, yeah, that's why. But I'm putting it out there that I like them. So,

so just do with that information what I like. And when you throw me my surprise birthday party miles, I wanted to be like a real surprise. You wanted to be a Midwest surprise. I wanted to be a Midwest surprise party. So what's funny is I imagine that a Midwest surprise party is that it's actually not a surprise because Midwesterners don't like surprises traditionally. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's like it's they know the party's happening, but like the surprise is like how much beer is going to be there. Yeah. Yeah. The surprise is we bought a keg. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They walk in and they're like, surprise. And he's like, I know.

And they're like, surprise, we got a keg. And he's like, oh, my God. You got a keg. Got a keg. Oh, are we selling cups too? Surprise. You're making money off your own surprise party. Yeah.

You know, because I also think at a surprise party for a Midwesterner, you know a true Midwesterner, especially if his partner is like putting on the surprise party. You know he's thinking the bag of his head, this is my money at the end of the day. This isn't a surprise. This is costing me. Everywhere I look is costing me.

It should be a potluck. Surprise party should be a potluck. And very early on, you want to reassure, like the partner should reassure. Hey, your parents paid for the beer tonight just so you know this is all on everyone else. You've got to reassure him early on that or he's going to be in a funk. He's going to be in a I'm paying for this funk for at least a now. Every person he sees this. not going to be a good surprise. It's going to be like how many extra hours this week.

Yeah, you tell everyone when you, when the, if it's your party, you go around, you shake everyone's hand, say, thanks for coming. You make it so that the tradition is they tell you what they paid for. So then each time you talk to someone, it's like, hey, I paid for the hors d'oeuvres. Oh, you shouldn't have. You didn't have to do that. You know, yeah. I paid for all the beer in the fridge. Not the keg. I can't claim that. You know. That's okay. That was your father. father-in-law. Oh, did he really? Oh my gosh. Wow, I got to get you guys something. So you know, you're going to owe him. Okay. Yeah, I figured. That's the other thing. Yeah. It's like there's a guilt that comes with a Midwest surprise party. You're like, okay, now I got to

repay all these guys. So I just learned that in this act out, because I don't know if you could tell, and that's why you said, I was like, I'll send my cash. So now there's only going to be like 10 minutes of usable joy at this surprise party. Because after you do the tradition of what everyone paid for, you're like, all right, so I got to get Tim, I got to get him some more tackle. I got to bring over a case of beer to Rick. Yeah, yeah. You're tallying it up and then you're adding that on to your other tally that already exists.

And if your wife is doing it correctly, she knows what everyone brought. and then the party favor when you leave is just repaying you all of what you brought to the party so then you don't own a favor after. Oh, you see, that's the real surprise at the end. She could just be there with the chest freezer open, you know, like we had the old chest freezer, right, with the broken seal. So everything was like crusting up on the side. The sides were mostly like frost, you know, but deep under there, man. Party favor, you can take some deer sticks home. with you and then that that takes care of the the payment back it's like we offered it if you didn't

take it that's on you you know so yeah yeah no i i like this and then um also i think of fun since now since we're just enjoying it you know uh i like games miles and it's your party yeah yeah i mean if you know i was like i was feeling guilty about turning this from general to specific but I really like games and gambling. And then you, you know, to pay for all the stuff, you end up winning your money back. And see, that's kind of it. Yeah. You know, there's nothing better than like going on like a, like I've gone on a bachelor party to a casino.

And this was in the Dells and I was feeling a little tight on the cash. But then I start winning at the casino, which is a huge surprise because it doesn't often happen. And then it, you're like, this whole trip's paid for. This is amazing. like to add that into the surprise party too. Yeah, just another version of the Midwest surprise party is just driving that person to the casino. Yeah, right, right. And they win, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Well, that we can't necessarily guarantee. Yeah. Um, you know, I just thought of a, a party idea that you could do. What? You could have like a casino night party for someone's birthday.

And then every time someone wins, 10% of the winnings go to the birthday person. Oh. And then so then it's like, you know, that's the only gift that you get is just a wad of cash at the end of night and you'd get 10% of all the winnings. Oh, wow. That's kind of slick. So, okay, well, explain that one more time for my brain. You're playing roulette. Okay. You know, and you cash out up 100 bucks.

10 bucks of that goes to the birthday boy. Okay. The B-day B. Mm-hmm. Okay. And then they get to take home 90, so everyone's a winner. Wow, that is really, that is really cool. I mean, it's kind of like over there, you get that because you're a Fargo boy, and all your guys is gambling goes right to charity.

Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Local hockey, youth hockey. You know, it's good to support the youth hockey. I also was thinking two miles right there, like a surprise party doesn't necessarily mean a good thing. Surprises can be a good surprise or a bad. surprise, you know? So your surprise party. Yeah, so it doesn't have to be a birthday party. You could do like a surprise, uh, like a surprise you owe money to the IRS part. So it's like surprise. You know,

and then you turn the corner and she's like, I'm pregnant. Then you turn the other corner and there's this gal with a 10 year old like, this is yours, you know? And then you turn the other corner and it's your parents being like, you're not biologically ours. And then you turn the next corner. I think this is called a haunted house, Charlie. I don't know if this is a surprise. But, but, but, but, but Miles, horror movies work the same way comedy works. Element of surprise.

Laughter triggers and terror triggers. It's just the surprise. So it's a double-edged sword as a surprise. We didn't say that it was a happy surprise part. I pity the fool who wants a surprise. surprise party for his birthday because you do not know that that could go two ways, my friend. Yeah, you just said you want a surprise party. You didn't say a happy surprise party. Yes, you must specify. It's like, be careful what you wish for. In fact, Miles, surprise, Charlie, you have to

have a colonoscopy because you're almost 40. Surprise colonoscopy party. The doctor's just like, bend over. We know you weren't going to go to the hospital. So here you are. Time for your photo shoot. bend over that's actually really good that could be a good sketch right there you know what i want to do miles is start um start a horror film and it could be called surprise party but i want to start it the way we do a sketch normally you know so let's say we did that like midwest haunted house video that we we start off the movie like that it starts off like a sketch people are used to seeing and then the end is like i kill you uh or you kill me or something and then it seems like about every fourth video we try and work in the ending of someone killing the other person.

Well, you know, it's just surprise. Like at this point, you're like, oh, it would be a surprise that I kill you at the end, but we've done it enough now to where it's like actually they're surprised when we don't end up. That's right. I forgot I put you in the trunk that one time. Yeah. No, but you were alive at the end. It was a fake.

We didn't put the, I was dead. I don't think. In the want, didn't we put that in the cut? I don't remember. I was like saying creed first time or biker versus driver guys really you don't have to wear your underwear you can wear your pants

that's one of my that's one of like I feel like that was a really underrated video yeah for that's up there for me I got a lot of underrated videos on my mind I feel like a lot of videos it's a great way to deal with the pain of a video flopping it's just calling it underrated

yeah it's underappreciated like the ones like that one, you know. Or maybe they didn't. I don't know. Maybe it just was bad all around. I thought it was really good. I thought it was really good.

I think that's like the battle of doing what we do is there's a, there's a constant push and pull between something that you think is unbelievably funny versus like what you think will do well on the internet. And every once in a while, you got to just do a video for you. Yeah, you do. with no consequences. Like, hey, I don't even know if anyone's going to care about this video, but I just really like it.

So I'm going to do it. You got to do that once in a while. Yeah, 100%, man. You just got to rip and roar, you know, and let the consequences be what they might. And then it's always a coin toss. You know what one of those was for us? You remember the worst fishing show?

Oh, yeah. The worst fishing show. Worst fishing show. That, honestly, though, Nobody has ever come up and said they liked that video to me. No, me either. But I bet you if they saw it, they would like it. You know, it just didn't travel.

It didn't get the eyes. So if you listen to this, go look at, go watch the, I think it's just like the worst fishing show ever or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We shot that at my link. I think we should repost that one. I don't think we should.

See what happens. You should repost Midwest ASMR too. I should, yeah. I remember that might do numbers in today's world. A lot more people listen to ASMR. It was ahead of its time. I was early. It was ahead of its time.

Should we take some callers here, Miles? Let's do it. Time for some prize picks. Price picks right now will give you $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup. Win or lose. You'll get 50 bucks in lineups. All you got to do is use promo code bellyed up when you sign up today.

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This week I got to pick. Matthew Stafford, more than 35 and a half, pass attempts. I think he's going to sling the ball around. He's hit it the last five weeks. And I just think that more people should be getting in on prize picks. It's actually bringing Charlie and I together this football season. We've talked more about prize picks than we have than we did the previous year. And so if you got a buddy that's estranged, you know, like Charlie and I, when he's in Milwaukee

and I'm in Fargo. You got to say, hey, we're going to play prize picks together. Sharing lineups back and forth. So, guys, download prize picks today. Use code bellied up. Miles. January. Let me tell you something about January.

It's chaotic. Okay. It's chaotic. It's chaotic. Okay. What's that? It means wild and crazy and all over the place. You're saying with a seat, it's chaotic.

Is it? because I don't think there's a K in the word. But what is K, and by K I mean okay, and by okay, I mean excellent, is Tippie Cow Miles. So listen to me, we are going to let you in on a little bit of a hack, okay? You can skip the baking, okay? You skip the mixing, skip the unnecessary effort. Just grab yourself a bottle of Tippie Cow, chocolate shake.

See? Chocolate shake, chaotic, chocolate. How do you say? Yep, yep, I got it. Yeah, do you say cocklet? No, you say chocolate. And it's smooth, it's creamy, it goes down easier than your New Year's goals, disappear in by week three.

So bring it to a buddy's place, pour it over ice, and suddenly you're everyone's favorite person in the room. So go on, have a cow, Wisconsin cow. Tip it on back to the Tippy Cow moo. Drink responsibly. Tipicow rum cream. 2025 Midwest custom bottling, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, all rights reserved. Hello, is this Lee?

Lee owns it, yes. Lee, nice to meet you. This is Miles and Charlie from the Bellied Up podcast. Where are you from? Texas. Okay. How did I get a quick disclaimer? That's not my real name.

I just, that's my Chinese name. I didn't want to use my real name because I don't know. You'll figure out later. Okay. Oh, okay. Yes. All right. Yes, I love it when people use pen names on the show mouse.

It means they got some juice. So what is the, you say that's your, your what name? Chinese name. So your Chinese name. It's technically my honey name. The honey are basically like the Native Americans of China. Okay. Chinese.

Cool. Okay. That's cool. I didn't, I did not know that actually. Yeah. And you, and you now, you grow up in Texas? Oh, yeah. I lived in Texas my whole life.

But you all want to, there's a bunch of things we can talk. talk about. So I just want to make sure that y'all want to talk about like the Chinese thing before we. I love a call where we have to protect someone's identity. Yeah. That is like I'm licking my chops at this call right now. I know we're about to get into some juicy. And when Jared told me that we have a guy that wants to talk about the mafia, I was like, let's get him on the line. And so you want to talk about the mafialy? I wasn't paying attention when Jared was talking. This is crazy.

Let's get into that. Okay, so I gotta give a little bit of back story. Yeah. So I'm 20. A group in Texas my whole life, very much a country boy. But the church that I go to, we have a lot of missions. And that includes China, Cambodia, and Mexico. I've been to all of those places.

And in Mexico, I don't know if anybody all are familiar with the Copper Canyon or the Ta-Amara, but it's basically Indians down there, and it's all in cartel country. And so two years ago, I went down there. for a bit. And I'm not if all know this, but the Mennonites have a heavy presence in that area of Mexico. Oh, we talked to another caller who was talking about that. Yeah. That's where I got the idea.

Like, hey, I should call because Oh, look at this, Miles. One of our stories sparked a memory that's going to give us a mafia story. Hell yeah. All right. So you got a lot of bearded folk. Well, first of all, not all of them do this. But so the cartel, the one down there, to be the Sierra Leone cartel or the Juarez cartel.

The Mennonites, the city of Quintemok, they have a very heavy presence down there. And most men of nights are supposed to be like poor. They're not supposed to like have a lot of possessions. But a lot of these men ofites around there kind of said, we want to be rich. And so they have a lot of money because they own a lot of farms. But because they have a lot of money, they kind of have to like band together. So the cartels don't take advantage of them. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And so the cartel decided we're going to use this to our benefits. So basically the cartel uses the many nights to money launder their blood money or their drug money into clean money. This is like the Ozarks of Mexico. This is like Narcos and Ozarks combined. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Narcos means Ozarks. That's how they would pitch a show.

This is show. All right. So basically what happens is the Mennonites will quote unquote borrow money. from the cartel, the drug money, and they'll come up to the U.S. because nobody questions Mennonites, and they buy up a whole bunch of farm equipment, and they also buy guns, bullets, equipment, and other things that are hard to get in Mexico, and they smuggle it down to the border in all of their farming equipment, and nobody checks them because they're Mennonites, and so then we're down there, they sell all the guns, they sell the bullets, they sell the equipment, and then

they make a profit, and they pay the cartel back, and now the cartel has clean money that they can kind of spend up here. Dude, that's quite the scheme. Really smart. The men of nights down there are like all their tractors got spinner rims on them. Their tractors got underglow. They're rolling around town with like diamond chains, you know, the men of nights down there all got grills with diamonds in them. They're just living large, you know? They got some pretty big houses and They have like Versace, Versace, like the same clothes you'd wear, but they're like Gucci. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's Mennonites down there with Gucci flip-flops on. Gucci, Gucci light blue denim shirts. So, okay, okay. So you know this, though, because you were just doing mission work down there, or were you doing mission work down there? And I put mission in air quotes. No, I was doing mission work down there. What was your? There's a lot of starvation down there, so we take food down there.

But the guy that we contact with, he's lived down there for almost 20 years with the Taramara. And it's in drug cartel country. Like, whenever we went down there, we have to call ahead and ask him, hey, is it okay for us to come? And he has to call the local cartel leader. And then he basically through the chain tells us, okay, it's okay or not. And whenever we went, that particular time that I went, they said, no, y'all can't come tonight. So we had to stay the night in Kortemma before we could head that way. Were they taking care of rogue Mennonite at that point, you think?

No, it's just the control of the roads. So they probably were shipping something on the roads that they didn't want us being around. That's the best guess that I have. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. Wow. That's wild.

Now, if you, so they're kind of, they're running this like a legit, illegit business, kind of. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I think you just discovered drug cartels.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You accurately described it. Yeah. They're like supplying the man. That's pretty obvious,

Charlie. We got that down. Well, you know, what I do. So right now, we are talking to a microphone and so it's like a podcast.

Yeah. Miles. So what I like to do because, and I've had a lot of people email us to thank me for doing this. I like to pretend like I just came into the conversation in the middle of it. That's because you constantly are coming into the, coming to into the conversation. I'm processing. My brain is always processing miles. And sometimes I got a few other windows open and I

just got to close it. Dial up connection. Yeah, that too. That too. Okay. So what do you do? Like in your shoes, you're just bringing food in and you're trying to stay out of everyone's way and just hope that nothing bad happens or what? Pretty much. I mean, we've been down there for almost 15 years now and we're actually, we're sending more teams down there actually in like about a month or two. So we're not just going there and leaving. We have a constant presence there.

But pretty much, yeah, like we go in. The cartel knows that they know who we are, who we work with. There's a hospital down there. So they know that we're not trying to do anything funny. And they don't, they really don't care if we help the locals. Yeah, because they're not going on. They're like, this is if we can keep the locals happy by not having to do anything other than letting people come give them free food. Well, that's what they're doing.

They're taking credit for it. You know, they're like, we brought all these Christian people from Texas down here. Take care of you guys. They're taking credit for it for sure. Sort of. Well, right now they kind of dialed back their presence. So before fentanyl, the cartel would use the tartar mine natives to grow a lot of their drugs. to grow a lot of their drugs.

And they basically come in and tell the Taramans, who are some of the poorest people on Earth, basically you grow drugs or you, well, yeah, the other option is not very good. But if you grow drugs, they'll pay you. And the Taramon already suffered from an extreme poverty. And like it doesn't rain there. It's the freaking desert.

And then also there's an extreme alcoholic problem. And so you grow drugs and you don't feed you. your kids and so everybody dies pretty much. Oh, this just got real sad. With fentanyl now, with fentanyl now, they aren't having to grow drugs as much. So it's actually really good for the natives down there that we're dying more. So how are they getting paid then if they're not growing the drugs anymore? The cartel just leaves them alone.

They don't need them to grow drugs anymore, so they don't mess with them. I know, but how do they make money to eat? Either they go work for. the farmers, the, the Mennonites in Quattemlock in that area, or they just have to try to grow corn out of practically rock. Uh-huh. Yeah. Those cartels, they're really doing them a service.

That's fascinating, man. This just turned into an investigative news report. Have you ever, have you seen kind of the lavish lifestyle of the Mennonites out there? Are they, like, doing the drugs too? Are they really rolling around with like Air Jordans on? stuff we didn't we don't interact much with the men of nights we only did with one guy and he was kind of he was he just like a normal i would say american middle class citizen it looked like but you see the evidence in the ginormous farms yeah and like they own all the businesses

around there and you like drive past some houses it just look like absolutely really expensive oh that's crazy so they're probably doing all the things you're not supposed to be doing they're like reading the bible of joseph spliff down there you know that's crazy i don't know about that i can't speak to much more on the menonites well dude you already said they're smuggling drugs for fentanyl dealers that's where i draw the line yeah i don't i don't want to comment on if they're having sex and drinking foods you know i don't know if they're actually smuggling the drugs but they're definitely doing the money part of it dude that is that like i feel like if we were to make that show people would be like nah that's like too unrealistic you

know, but it's, that's, that's, that's, damn, that's wild. Miles, we got to make that show. Okay. Let's do it. And, uh, Lee, don't worry, you'll be a central character in this. Okay. Do you want me to explain my name a little bit? Oh, yeah, that'd be cool.

So we also have been in China for over 20 years. And I'm sure you're all aware of this. China is not the most liberal-minded of countries. What? I thought that they were pretty free-flowing with what they let their folks do over there. Yeah, so right now they would technically say that it's fine to be a Christian,

but it's actually, it's illegal now to have anyone under the age of 18 in church or to share the gospel with anyone under the age of 18. So they're hoping to basically like phase all the believers out. Yeah, they're playing for the next couple generations. They're like, these people are too far gone. They believe in Jesus just too much. China always does that. They take the long con, you know. Yeah. So last, last year we went to China and we had a lot of context there, a lot of

pastoral contacts. And we were up in the honey villages up on the mountains. And they, a bunch of people that were family, we were staying with, which first of all, I want to sidetrack. Chinese, Chinese food is so much better than American Chinese food. American Chinese food. Basically, if it's supposedly from another country, it's going to be way better in that country. Yeah. No, I look at Panda Express with disgust now. Well, yeah. I mean, I kind of look at Panda Express with not that much love now.

Yeah, I've never eaten at Panda Express being like, you know, this was the real authentic Chinese experience. Yeah, it's like, hey, we got a place in Fargo, Charlie. Yeah. Authentic Chinese. food. Oh, love it. And then I rolled to Panda Express. Yeah. We're never going to do that, you know? Funny story, Fargo's the last place I had

Panda Express in your mall. Really? Yeah, yeah. I'd love to see Charlie Barron's in the food court at the West Acres Mall eating Panda Express. Yeah, it was just me and, you know. It's a nice food court though, ain't it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not used a ton.

You know? Well, it was probably a downtime, you know. It was a Wednesday night. Yeah, yeah. It was, you know, it's a long day of recording. I need, you know. So you went to Panda. So after we did bellyed up, you went and ate Panda Express by yourself in the mall food card and Fargo?

Oh, that's depressing. That is the most depressing shit I've ever heard. I had to get new. I had a hole in my shoe. I know they have like restaurants attached to the mall. I didn't find them. I was really hungry miles. We hadn't eating all day.

I was working real hard at the bar. And you don't let me eat sometimes. Oh, God. Because apparently I tried. too loud. We started the podcast with you eating a full breakfast here at the bar. We weren't rolling because I chew too loud. And honestly, I think it's you that chews too loud.

I think I'm a quiet chewer. So you can't get me. I don't care about your chewing. It's the listeners that complain about it. So now you're basically saying that the listener's thoughts are invalid, Charlie. I would never, never say that about our listeners, Miles. I didn't hear it from any of our listeners. I heard it from you.

Okay. Are you going to shoot this rabbit or not? shoot what rabbit. Are we hunting? You're going down a rabbit trail. I like that. Sorry, yeah. Let's get back focused.

So, all right, what do you want to tell us about China? Oh, there's so many security cameras. Like, it's insane. I stuck my tongue out as many as I could, but I don't think I got them all. That's good. Yeah. If there's any government that, you know, would probably take retaliatory recourse for you. sticking your tongue out.

I think it would be China. So we don't want to lose you. So be careful around those cameras. But yeah, they were happy to get me out. Were they? Well, I'm pretty sure they're happy to get any foreigners out.

Like, you don't. Okay, so a couple weeks ago, y'all had a guy on the podcast you had like an Asian wife or something. Okay. I remember that?

Okay. I guess it was a couple of months ago for y'all. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Remind us. Remind us what it was. basically he had like had a wife from like the Philippines or Vietnam or something like that yes oh yeah yeah yeah yeah something about how like uh a bunch of jobs that Americans don't want

to do and he's one of them or something like that that was pretty fun of yeah yeah yeah got it yep so he is 100% correct Asian women go crazy over white guys I got more attention in a week in Asia than I think I've got my entire life in these states really there was not a six single woman over the age of like 16 that we talked to that didn't say something about how handsome I was. Jeez. So, so, you know, if I'm like a Fargo 7, Milwaukee 5, I'm a China 10. Pretty much.

Are you pale skinned? Um, pretty pale. I'd say he's on the pink side of pale. Do you have a big nose? Uh, it's not bad. He's got a bigger nose than I do. I do have a bigger nose, yeah. But yours is oddly shaped, so.

I got weird. Look how long my nostrils are. Yeah, you got long nostrils. I can fit a full quarter up there like a hot dog down a hallway. You got a cut nose is what you got. What's that? Like it looks ripped. Looks like it's been working out, dude.

You know? I do nose exercises. So yeah, it's like the guys that chew on the like rubber thing to make their jaw line better. Oh, doing nose exercise. Oh, yeah. And it's not the nose exercises you're thinking of.

Flare in the nosts. Oh, like, nose drugs? Yeah, I'm not doing that. No. Wait, no, I'm confused because I thought you said you were Chinese. Did I mix that up? No, I'm wide as can be. Okay.

Oh, so when you went there, you got a Chinese name. Yeah. So what do you think Charlie and I's Chinese name would be? Can you give us a Chinese name? well I am not at all I don't speak any Mandarin besides a little bit I don't think we should trust a white guy from Texas is Chinese names but this is all we got right now Charlie what you want us to call China I would have to refer you to my mission inspector he's fluent in Mandarin his his Chinese name actually means thunder and lightning we're all jealous of him for

that let's go so you get you get gifted a name a Chinese name when you go there yeah pretty much. It's kind of like a thing and we give them an English names. So you're like, they're like, we're going to name you Thunder and Lightning and you're like, your name is Brian. Pretty much. He's got it. You were going to

be Kyle. I gave a name to one kid over there, but I don't remember what I gave it. I guess. All right. You can meet Terrence. I'm feeling Chuck. I like that. Yeah.

Yeah. You are going to be... You are going to be Ashley. Okay? Why does everything about... Like, none of our shit is cool here. You know what I mean? No.

Well, it's because we're used to it. Someone thinks it's cool. I'm not sure who. Yeah, I don't know. If you went to China and like, like they're like I want an American name and you said you're Brian I just don't know I just don't know I think that's cool so they'll they'll love it they anything like I gave this one kid a watch and he about lost his mind I was like this dude this thing cost me like 20 bucks at Walmart and he

was like I'm pretty sure I made an indentured servant for life damn well that you took it there didn't you jeez oh please all right so let me ask you this what's the church that you're traveling with. Is this, are you a non-DOM? We are non-DOM. I'm not going to,

I'm not going to say names or anything. You're talking about the mafia and the cartels here. That's right. That's right. Well, I'm not so much. I don't get so much care about that, but the church I'm with really likes to keep

our interaction with the churches in China off the internet because we don't want them finding that we're doing where we're, because we just say when we're going over that we're tourists. And we don't want them being, oh, they're Christians and, oh, who are they visiting with? And oh, they're visiting with this person and then go and visit this person. And then we don't want that happening.

They probably are, no. All right. Well, so we won't put this episode on TikTok then. Otherwise, they're going to find out right away. Yeah, they'll, they'll like do some sort of voice analysis. And they'll be like, oh, that's Lee with the tongue, you know, and then they'll remember that. It's probably fine, but I just try to say. This is tongue out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you listening to Tung Miles or do I have to vote?

I was mostly just shocked that you were listening that intently. Oh, okay. Well, you have the office on in here. It's not good for me. Lee, what else can you tell us? You got anything, anything else hidden up your sleeve there, my guy, any other interesting things you've seen? I mean, sure. Y'all talk about my life back here in the States. Are we talking about China? anything, Lee, whatever you think sticks out, you know. Well, I can tell you a little bit about my work. So I'm a contractor.

I'm on business. And I work in a college town. I do a lot of work for realtor companies on rent houses. On rent houses. Rent houses and apartments and all that. So you're basically just fixing garbage disposals all day long. I have done that a few times. I don't generally do that.

Um, but it basically everything from that stuff to to big repainting entire house jobs. Oh, okay. All right. You like it? I love it. Um, but because I do that, I do a lot of service calls on broken stuff. And so I've, I've seen some pretty funny stuff. Yeah.

What have you seen? Um, well, here's, here's a good for instance. Uh, I remember one, one house that we were doing work on. And there was a college girl house, which is a lot of them. And on the fridge, they had one of those like magnet menus, like, this dry race and the entire menu was just ass that was the entire menu all a week long what do you mean what was the menu ass ass a a a s a s a s there we go okay good good spell in so they were just eating ass all week just eating ass pretty much i guess so that was okay did you take

some holy water and spray it on the house before you left or no no i just i just laughed at it and last. How old are you again, Lee? 20. Oh, yeah, 20. He does sound like he's 48. Yeah, he's got that 10. It sounds like you've lived many lifetimes. So you, so you're like, you're like travel in the world on mission work since you were like 10 then. No, I've only been doing

that stuff since I was 14. No, 16. Okay. That's, that's wild. Free? Does it cost anything to go? No, it costs me. It doesn't cost me a ton straight up, but I lose a fair amount of money whenever I'm not doing my business because. But I mean, what's the, you know, what's the cost if it gets you into heaven? That's true. You can't put a price on heaven.

No, you can't. But if you could, it would be whatever you're paying for these trips. Well, it isn't for me to go to heaven and try to get other people to heaven. Yeah, but don't, no, don't give me that. We know. We know that. I know that gave you like the corporate media training to say that, but you're doing this so you can go to heaven.

Yeah, this is a little insurance policy. All right. We're Catholic. We know all about doing deeds to get in heaven. We know about having insurance policies. It is a quid pro quo. Why do you think we tip the bartender? Yeah.

Insurance policy. Well, we can agree to disagree on that. Well, you'll come around. Okay, well, here we go, Charlie. Yeah, yeah. We're kind of resisting the message he's trying to tell us right now. We are. You are a missionary and we are.

Yeah, convince us. Yeah, so we're a couple, you know, you're going to Wisconsin bar as your mission. trip. You're trying to convert the drunken Catholics to to believe what you believe. Yeah. Ready, set, go. Well, I'm not going to try to start off right away because I start off right away and they're drunk. They're just going to laugh, laugh at me and basically do what y'all are doing. Oh, no, we're not drunk. We've only had a couple two, three. Yeah. I'm sure that's what they would say too. Yeah, have a seat. What's your name? My name's Daniel. Daniel, my brother. Okay. How you?

you doing where are you from i'm doing all right i'm from tejas tejas oh okay i've heard of that you heard of that mile i've not no it's texas is that is that a type of like a like a height like a car i feel you're in the car after that no he's just pronouncing it the traditional way tejas yeah yeah miles is quite the educated man yeah yeah uh so uh what's so you want to play some bar dice you want to do a little bit of gambling. What are you in town for? Sure. We can do some gambling. As long as I ain't having to put dollars down, we can use quarters. Okay. So we got ourselves a guy with short arms. Hey. Hey. He's not getting deep into the pockets. That's fine. That's fine. All right. The first bet is four quarters. You got four with you there, Lee? Oh, of course. I got a bunch.

Oh, see, we are, see, we got you gambling just like that. Dude, you think you're out here missionarying us. We're missionarying. We don't know. He's a lot. We don't know. He's a a missionary yet, Charlie. Oh. Okay. Yeah, I got these Charlie, you want to know where I got this roll of quarters? Where'd you get that? Collection basket at church. Oh, did you steal that? Oh, yeah.

That's hilarious. They don't even, they just throw all the coins away. It's too big of a hassle to take them to the bank. You know what they say? Miles. The left hand must not know what the right hand is doing. And my left hand is a bad boy. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm left-handed. Yeah. Oh, I see. You're talking about What church do you go to, guys?

I go over there, St. Mary's. St. Mary's. St. Rose. Yeah, I go every, every week I go. Yes. Yeah. Wow. And why do you go every week?

Well, did you slide of the hand? How do you think I'm supporting this habit? Well, it sounds like you got yourself a pretty good financial thing going there. It's not bad. Yeah, you know, we learned that. that technique, there's some Mennonites down in Mexico that really got to figure it out. Yeah. I saw a YouTube video about it.

Nice. Yeah. Well, Charlie, I've seen you've thrown down quite a few of whatever beer you're drinking there. Do you have a right home? He's walking. Yeah, I'm just like usual. Yeah. You're walking.

Well, can I give you a right home? I don't want to send a brother out in the cold. No, that's okay. I got a girlfriend. Are you sure about that? Yeah. Yeah, dude, if you come up to Wisconsin and you offer right away to give a guy a ride home, you're definitely, they're going to think something else other than just being a nice guy.

Yeah. Ah, so I guess there's a difference in the South in Wisconsin. Yeah, that is. That is. Yeah, we've had too many instances of mass murderers up here. So, you know, we know, but, you know, I like it. You're a nice enough guy. you know, you're, you're, how many people have you can, what's your conversion ratio?

You're a quarterback. What's your, yeah, what's your completion percentage? I have no idea. No, no numbers I can give you. I know that I've talked to a few that then it said to Christ, but I don't know what my actual, there's no reason to keep a tally. Well, but that's insurance policy. Yeah.

When you get up there, you can be like, hey, I was bad in 500, dude. God let me in now. Yeah. I mean, that's a Hall of Fame numbers. Right. That's a lot. Right. You got to know.

First ballot. Y'all guys are a hoot. We're a hoot. You're a hoot. Hewt. A hoot. Like an out of hoot. Yeah.

No, I got you. I got jibber. And if you don't think, I mean, you realize that you're going to get up there and they're going to have stats for you. Yeah. Oh, they're going to be. be like, hey, you know, you were doing this, but what about this? You know, you got way too hammered at the bar about 468 times in your lifetime. And then you have to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I tipped really good all night, all 468 times. Right. You got to come with some receipts, my man, because you think, you think God's keeping all the receipts. Some he might lose somewhere. So you got to just double up on the books because he's got a lot of other things he's working on, you know. You know, getting into heaven, I imagine is a lot like marriage. It's all about keeping score and having leverage over the other person. If you can get up to the pearly gates and have some leverage, better. Wow, you sound like every happily married man I ever talked to.

That's damn right. That is damn right. So chances you're going to heaven. What do you think? 100%. Damn, that's confidence. Because he has accepted his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I was like,

life. See, I'm, I'm looking at 50% right now. I'm saying 50-50, I pass. Oh, bro, that means you're a 0%. There ain't no 50-50. There's you a zero. A Catholic's got purgatory. Yeah, we got, come on. We got more wiggle room here.

See, if you want to convince me, you've got to give me some reason. Yeah, you're just, you're working too much in extremes, you know? Yeah. Catholics figured out that like, hey, we're going to look like we're doing good, but, you know, we're going to have a lot of guilt because, you know, we're not going to always behave. So if we just come up with a thing called confession, we can just do whatever we want and then go to confession later. Yeah. Do you know how much good guilt is done in this world? You know, many times I've donated when I didn't want to just because of guilt?

I mean, for God's sakes, though, the numbers are off the charts, you know? guilt is what's saving this world right now. We're hanging on by a threat of guilt. Yeah, it's like the commercials where they want you to donate so that they can save the dogs, you know? Yeah, my God. Just 12. Oh, I hate those commercials.

Just 12 cents a day. Yeah. And this little pooch here won't have to have all of its legs cut off. Yeah. They're almost like holding them hostage. I love how this went from talking about China to a disqual of. discussion on Catholicism versus Protestantism. Yeah.

I mean, what did he say? Catholicism versus partisanism? Yeah. Don't tell me you're a fan of Martin Luther now. I love nailing doors. What would you as a missionary, what would you say to someone who's

Catholic? Someone who's Catholic. I would say what's your assurance? How do you know that how do you know that you've done everything it takes? How do you know? How do you know? How do I know? How do I know?

Because it ain't about what I've done. It's about what he's done. How do you know? Hmm. Hmm. But technically he's also done the same thing for Catholics. I am very positive that there are born again, say, Catholics. I do not.

Wait. I'm not. Are you saying if someone's straight Catholic, they're not going to heaven? I don't know. It's not, it's not on me to judge. Well, then how do you know the other part? Because he said so. Yeah, I mean, the technicality here is that Catholicism is actually the only religion

that was directly started by Jesus himself. Ooh. You know, Martin Luther, that's a man, if I remember correctly, you know, and you go down the line, trace it all the way back to Jesus, Catholicism. Well, Peter was the first pope. He was the rock. The rock. The church was built.

Yeah. You are Peter and upon this rock I should build my church and the something of the gates of the nether world shall not prevail against it. Wow. Miles. God, if I wasn't Catholic right now, I'd be thinking about it. Lee, what do you think? I think that first of all, the verse that he referenced about where he talks to Peter on this rock I've learned my church.

He wasn't referring to Peter. He was referring to himself. On this rock, on me, I will build my church. And also the mind. You are Peter. And upon this rock, I shall build my church. So why would he address? Why would he say you are Peter?

Because if, let's see, I don't remember. Was that the verse wherever he changed his name from Simon to Peter? I don't remember. Now you're really tested my knowledge here. Was he doing missionary work in China? I just know that the 13 years of Catholic education, they hammered that verse into us, you know? So I figure I'd whip it out. You know what? Let's get to the real thing that's going to convince anyone to be in any religion. What's the best song you guys sing? Let's hear it. Yeah. And then Charlie and I will do

ours. I can't sing, bro. I am a terrible singer. I can play piano for 17 years. So I'm in the worship band on the piano. I ain't singing. You want to get into heaven or not? If my, if getting into heaven is based on my singing, then I will be the first one going to hell.

When we come from, you get into heaven by going to church and mumbling the songs, just moving your mouth to showcase that you are trying to participate but you don't really want to sing. equals wings da da da da da da da da da da da da da

yeah they're a pretty good job by that like the sun and told you in the palm of his hand see that doesn't that feel like heaven right there I'm we might be singing that I don't know

you should sing that I think that's the real test to get into heaven, Miles, is can you sing? Can you sing most of the words to that song? Yeah. Can you just land it? If you can land the plane, you hit one ending to one verse, you're all right. Turbulance don't matter. Yeah.

I think we converted a few people to something today. I think we did. I don't know if that was God or another drink, but we converted them to something. And it's all about the conversions. That's it, Miles. batting percentage. Yeah. Well, Lee, we appreciate you, man. Any final thoughts before we let you get back down that old dusty Texas road? Oh, nothing that wouldn't take up too much of time. Well, if it's good enough, we'll let it take up the time, Lee. Oh, cool. I know y'all always love whenever you all have a single guy on the podcast you can't seem to get any girls.

Lee, step on up, step on up, step on up. Give people the specs. How tall are you? are you? I'm between six and six one. Okay. So then you're, are you six foot one and a half inch? Why? He's he's not having a measure my height. I'm sometimes I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, said six and six foot one. No, I know. But it's like, oh, I see. I see. Why not just say you're six one or you're not? Yeah. A little more confidence. You're right, Miles. You're right. You're right. Why not say you're six? Can I start over? And you can always round. up. If you're six foot one and a half inch, just say you're six one. Yeah. Cool. Then I'm six one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. With shoes on or no shoes? I think with shoes off. Okay. Well, you got to start saying you're six to. Um, because are you, unless you're meeting a gal at a

trampoline park, you're going to meet her while you're wearing shoes. So I would just get, you know, on your dating profiles, just do what shoes on. Put a little lift on those boots. You sound like a guy who wears boots. Yep. Yeah. Okay. And then what's your favorite hobby, side for missionary? My favorite hobby.

I love, I love playing my piano. I love working. Those are two pretty good ones. All right. Works technically not a hobby, but we'll let it fly. But we like that you're employed and the ladies will like that too. Do you believe that the man should always pay on a date? Always.

Oh, okay. All right. All right. You'll get some gold diggers that way. I like it. What kind of truck you drive? F-150, 2011. Let's go.

Oh, 2011. Good year. Good vintage. Okay. Favorite sports team? We'll say, I guess I've got to go Dallas Cowboys, but I'm also a college fan. So we'll go A&M or Texas or Texas Tech there. All right.

Well, that I don't play in Texas, I suppose. What's your biggest pet peeve? My biggest pet peeve? My biggest pet peeve. Pete. The first thing comes to my mind is food I hate. But I think I'll go with relationship. A woman who will not let a man do something like open a car door for or like carry something heavy for her. That's so annoying. Barry something heavy? Carrie. Oh, sorry. I thought he was. I thought this guy was working for the men

of the men of nights for a second. Okay. So you want, you're looking for the opposite of a lady boss who don't need no man. You're looking for a gal who wants to be winding down. mind. Sort of. I'll give you a description of the last date. I want I say last day. I do this probably twice a year. Um, is I, I, I take a girl, there's this orchestra I have to go to in Dallas, this big fancy orchestra. So I go there and I take her to Fogoda Chau, which is a, do you all know what Fokka de Chow is? Oh, do I? You like Fogu de Chow? That's a crazy place for a first for a first date. You're just getting the meat sweats on date number one. Oh, this isn't for girls that I plan on dating.

This is just a random girl, a friend of mine. I'm like, hey, you want to go somewhere? There's a fanciest place in your life for a night. And then, yeah, they go. So wait, Fogodei Chow is the fanciest place in your mind? For them, that's a fancy place they've ever been to. Wow, this is got a lot more. I don't even know what to think about this.

So you're just taking one of your friends that's a girl to Fogodei Chow and then to the orchestra. Yep. What a night. What a night. Are you getting cocktails? No, I am 20, so I can't get beer or wine or alcohol in general in public spaces. I have plenty of it at home.

Okay, so you're not a non-drinker. No, I don't get drunk. I've never been drunk in my life, but I appreciate some good alcohol now. All right. There you go. Never gotten drunk, huh? You know that, like, China's not actually listening to this, you know? They're going to let you get in stuff.

my entire life. So let me just get let me just put that at there. We knew. Yeah. That was I mean, that was the that was the free space on my bingo car. Nice. But I will say this. I am not sheltered. My first job was at a slaughterhouse. I went in their sheltered and I did not leave sheltered. Yeah, I believe that. Okay. That's, um, so what were, uh, were you guys slaughtering all kinds of things? Uh, all type of, uh, animals. Yeah. Yeah. Cows, sheep, goats. I'm not going to let Charlie go down this rebel. I'm still very confused. You said the last date you were on and then you said you took a gal the Fogreda Chow and the orchestra, but it wasn't a date. So you don't go on dates then.

That one was like half a date. Basically the scenario with that is I was going to take one girl who I was just friends with and then she dipped out. And then there was this girl that one of my other friends had been trying to set me up with for like months. And I was like, like, hey, I need somebody to go with. You think she should be down and she was down. You didn't tell her that she was the second choice, right? No, no, I did not. Oh, thank God. Yeah, and you can't let that resi go to waste. And yeah, especially at Fogo de Chow, it's a hot resi. Yeah. What really sucked is I got sick the afternoon we went. So like, I was the entire day. I was just focusing on not puking and not letting her know that I was sick. And so I enjoyed none of it. That's my personal hell. We can have Fogo de Chow with all like, like, a,

40 different meat smells going around in the thing and trying not to puke. That sounds terrible. No, yeah. I got like 20 bucks worth of food out of the whole thing for myself. I'm surprised you got that much. How many dates would you say you've been on? One, two, four. Okay.

Okay. So you're, yeah, twice a year. So what's happening? So what's happening? What's happening? Why didn't it work out? We have very different styles. of humor. Like anything that I think is funny, she just doesn't laugh at. And the things that

she thinks is funny, I half laugh at. So, I mean, that's after the second day. We were both like, yeah, this isn't the thing for us. But that's great, but yeah. Okay. So you guys both agreed that you didn't like each other on the first date, huh? Uh, second day. Oh, sorry, second. That's what I meant to say. That's what I meant to say. Um, we did go on one after that. That was a lot smaller. Okay. Well, that, that's good that you guys got that out of the way. And hey, so tell us what you're looking for in a gal then. there's a listener out there listening. He's in Texas who sounds like, you know, you might be upper alley.

What are you looking for? She likes her car door open. She likes her meals picked up. But what else? She doesn't mind if you take like a six-week mission trip in the middle of the year, you know? Well, I hope she'd want to go with me. Okay. All right.

But let's see. Here's a couple. She needs to be, how do I put this? Well, she needs to be not. stereotypical. I need you to be a little crazy. Not bad crazy, but like homeschool crazy. Yeah. Okay. So not like like registered nurse slash hairstylist crazy. You're talking homeschool crazy. I'm talking like loves to do outdoor stuff and also will sometimes get in fights with their brothers. All right. He likes a fighter, not a lover.

Well, can we get a package deal? A package deal? Probably. Yeah. All right. And then do you have any no-goes? This is a disqualification for you, aside for the things already mentioned. I'm trying to think. I'm not big on red hair because the last relationship I was in, she had red hair and it kind of sucked. Why did it suck? She was the aforementioned, wouldn't let a guy open her car door, sort of sort of girl. and so you're going to you're going to now say all gingers are you're going to be prejudiced against all gingers because of one i don't think that's in the bible yeah yeah i think leviticus was pretty

specific about not being prejudiced against gingers from my recollection yeah i think matthew mark and luke and john all kind of said like let's maybe not do that my bad my bad my bad yeah we'll say juniors are back on the table all right there you go okay so so what's another red flag like no go for you a red flag would be no siblings okay but I think maybe the Bible says that you should just love and want to be with all people regardless of the siblings that they have not for marriage you don't I remember that hmm okay it specifically says do not be unequally yoked. Ah, so you can't have one arm that's stronger than the other, huh?

That's why he's the best. Hey, hey, you're a jam, Charlie, you're a jam. Yeah, you're a gem. So he's definitely 20 years old. We ask this question to people who are like 40, they're like, I just want him to be a nice, I just want her to be a nice gal. Breathing, ideally. That's your problem.

You've got too many stipulations. You need to, you know, get rid of some of those and just look for someone that you're connecting with. Yeah, that is a little level. That is very true, Charlie. My dad will probably say the same thing. He's been trying to get me to get out there for a long time. He's, uh, I'm for sure he's a lot more anxious for grandkids than I am.

Well, first of all, that was Miles. But second of all, uh, if your dad wants a grandkid, you get out there and start firing, all right? Start just. just happened. Yeah. Spray and prey. Yeah.

Yeah. Turn those mission trips into a missionary trip. There it is. If you were going to let that one go, I was going to get it in as we closed out. I'm glad. So is he. He's going to get it in too.

Be fruitful and multiply. There you. I can't argue with that one. As many as the stars in the sky. All right. Well, listen, Lee, you get out. there and you start finding that gal. If you want to get in contact with Lee, good luck because he won't even tell us his name.

But he's out there somewhere. Look for the guy in Texas wearing boots. That's a Cowboys fan. Between six foot and six foot one. He's out there. Yeah, that really narrows it down. Before I head out, hey, I just want to say, y'all are awesome, man. Me and my worker, we listen to y'all every single time the episode comes up and

all give us a barrel of laughs every time. Oh, thank you, man. That means a lot. We really appreciate that and hope to keep you company on your next missionary trip. Oh, and by the way, Charlie, didn't the factors do great last night? You shut the frick up, Lee. All right? You think that's in the Bible?

I'll see you in hell, all right? Ah, adio, fucking this. Huh? You were speaking Texan there. I didn't understand the damn word of that. I'm sure there's some Spanish or Mexican listen. That'll know what that means. What did you say?

Say it again. Adios. Bye, and Dios. Oh, okay, okay. I got it. I got it.

That means goodbye. All right. No problemo. Chow. They not a. Oh, man. Well, I'm going to be honest,

Charlie, I think if you just listen to that call and you didn't know anything about us, you would have no idea if we are good Catholics or bad Catholics. The way that we were talking. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we could spit some game. Are they in on it or are they not? That's the thing with Catholics, man. We are all, we're, we've read the Bible, you know. Oh, yeah? Have you read the Bible, Charlie? Yeah, you get so bored in church. You're like, I'll just read this book set.

Did you ever do like flip to a random page? Oh, yeah. And you're like, I hope this is like one of the rare instances where they're like, they're talking about sex in the Bible, you know? Never got lucky enough to flip to a random sex page in the Bible. Yeah, you got to read that. I think Solomon, you know, or what's his name? The guy who was getting after Bethesda on the roof, you know.

She's a hairdresser, man. She cut his hair, you know. She did them dirt, man. You're talking about Samson. Yeah, that dude is the one that's when he cut his hair. He lost all of his strength or whatever. Yeah, I think we know what really happened when he lost all his strength. Yeah, he had two minutes of losing.

losing all his strength. She took advantage of situation. Oh, well, Samson. Yeah. What did I say, Solomon? Yeah, no, that's a... This is a king. Yeah, King Solomon.

King Solomon. That was my bad. My bad, Samson. He was a wise one, right? King Solomon. They're all wise, man. All those kings had something going on, you know. All right.

Here we are back with our good buddy, Russell Nicolette. And by Nicolette, I mean Nicolet. And he's got a new. flannel can of water, Russell, you're doing that? Yeah, what's going on here, Russell? Charlie and I were just handed a sparkling water with your face on it. It says, thirsty or no?

And it's at the top, it says, oh, and go. Yeah, so we thought we would, you know, a lot of folks have been doing beers and things like that, which are awesome. We had people reach out to us in the past about doing a beer, but I thought we'd do something different. And I like to have some of that sparkling water here and there. so we thought we'd come up with something that was tasty and Midwest focused and, you know, everything that we kind of bring into our daily life, flannels, you know, the way we talk.

So we thought that would be fun. And we put together a few flavors and we just sent you boys some as well. But see what you think. All right. We're going to do a live taste test here, Charlie. Okay. You ready? All right.

I got the lemon, lime. What do you got? I got the orange and vanilla. Oh, cheers. Cheers, Miles. What do you think? Oh, I love me of sparkling water. That's going down easy.

This tastes like a diet creamsicle. The orange one, which is good. I mean, I'm surprised there's no sugars in that at all. There's nothing. Isn't it cool? Yeah, there's no sugars. There's no artificial sweeteners. It's basically, you know, we've got the natural flavoring,

and obviously they're fairly carbonated, but then there's just electrolytes. there. So it does hydrate you. Wow. Dude. You coming for Gatorade's ass or what? You trying to take down the big dogs with this?

We'll see. I think. I was slow on the pickup on that one. I'm not my goal to take down Gatorade. My goal is just to have a fun sparkling water out there. Originally we made one for kind of a promo and people liked it. We were just giving it out an event. So then we decided to make it a little bit more professional and something that

be sold and also give it out. But what I did to... And it's made in Wisconsin, right? Yeah, Potosi. The Potosi brewery, they can it for us. So it's made in Wisconsin. Actually, the cans are made in Charlieville like this in Milwaukee.

No kidding. Canned in Potosi, Wisconsin in the Driflitz region. So, yeah, it kept it pretty Wisconsin. That's great, man. I love that. You make your cans right in the Midwest. That's awesome. When you were in law school,

you probably were like, all right, I'm going to become a lawyer. I'm going to practice law. I'm going to take down the insurance companies and I'm going to start my own sparkling water. Is that kind of what the order of operations were in your head back in the day? 100% it was. That's exactly it. I was on the third or the last thing that I need to check off. And it was like, all right, got to get to that sparkling water.

But yeah, when I was sitting there and my first day in law school, it was like someday, someday you're going to have a sparkling water. Well, I appreciate it, man. I appreciate you sending us some water. We're going to be sucking these down today. And, yeah, like I said, really appreciate you calling in today. This is great. And where can the folks find the flannel can?

So right now, so we've got flannelcan.com coming out so you can order it. And then it's probably going to be at some convenience stores very soon. So that's the next step. with just getting it on its feet now because it went from like the promotional item to an actual product for sale. So you'll be able to see it, I think, at the local potential convenience or I won't name any names yet, but it should be out. And at the very least, just flannelcan.com. Check it out. Okay. Wow. Flannelcan.com guys. Thanks for calling in, Russell. Thank you, Russell. Appreciate you.

Yep, you too. Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available. this is miles and charlie from the bellied up podcast answer your phone how in the heck are you miles what's going on did anyone enter the damn phone or no thanks please stay on the line what the hell is that what do you have an assistant answer in your phone oh i got my airpac got my AirPods in one second oh you got your AirPods in who's your receptionist myself and I oh wait was it a voicemail or something no it was some like robot we had to present ourselves screen our call oh not me man I don't know what hell that's about damn all right well

what's cooking not much just called me the perfect time I'm driving driving back to the shop from work right I'm stopped at the light looking at some Instagram reels about saw this dude get smoked by a bus so perfect timing for you guys to call what the fuck is your algorithm man uh it's something not great stuff. We're cooked as a society. Yeah. How is that even? Stop it out of red light. We just can't even not look at Instagram Reels. You know what? I'm 23.

That's all. That's all I got for me right now, man. Take it off your phone. All you got going on in life is Instagram Reels. Working Reels. Well, Bellion up to the bar and tell us what's on your mind for God's sakes, Alex. Well, it was about my girlfriend, but I kind of got that. I kind of got that. that figured out. Okay. Well, tell us what happened and how did you figure out? So pretty long story short, like we've been together for about over a year now, right? Great phenomenal girl. Phenomenal. Love my life, right? There was a time when I, when I called you guys, I was like,

maybe this, maybe this isn't right, but kind of worked its way out. Just kind of talk things over. It's good now. Well, what did you talk over? What was the problem? Let's make sure that you made the right decision. Yeah. Pretty much, right? So I go to school. I'm in school for to be a mechanic, right?

So I'm doing that. And I go to work after that mowing lawns. All manual labor stuff. I come home and just kind of want to chill out, not do a lot. She's all like, oh, let's go for a walk, this and that, which I'm all down for a good walk. But man, dude, she kills me. It's like, it's like eight.

miles of walking. And this is like, you're like, I love that that's like, you know, I love this gal, but the walking. That was it. Just you didn't want to go walking with her. Well, I mean, it's not just that. There's some other personal thing, but we got this, we got those. So did you compromise and you guys got bikes? No, I just don't go on as long of walks. Like, I'll let her, I'll let her, I'll let her go walk around for a minute and then, uh, then I'll join her like halfway through. So I only got to walk four or five miles, not eight to ten. Well, you need to start doing it as going on the mall.

You go sit at one of the couches in the center of the mall and then she walks around the mall. So you're at the same spot, but you're just chilling. Smart. Scrolling on Instagram reels. I need to open up a, I need to open up a whiskey bar in the mall so dudes can go and sit there while their wives or girlfriends go shop. Is that not like a million dollar idea?

I mean, that would have been a million dollar idea like 20 years. but right now actually right now you'd probably still get the last snort of the mall now on our other podcast you bet you're already we already saved malls and it was basically just placing hooters twin peaks and the tilted kilt in in malls and you can just and and i'm from yeah i'm from st louis i don't know what the tilted kilts is but those three sound pretty elite yeah i mean you just imagine use your imagination anytime that a restaurant's named after a piece of clothing, you know. Yeah, you got to imagine minimal, minimal clothing at most.

Yeah. So also my, I got my AirPods. You guys hear me fine and you're going to take a lot. Yeah, no, we can hear you. You sound great. Yeah, shout out AirPods, ladies and gentlemen. Shout out AirPods. Not a sponsor.

Not a sponsor. If they sponsor me, I'll give them some free apocosite. There you go. Hey. Always be selling. Always be selling. ABS. So you're going to marry this girl or what?

Oh, yeah. Definitely. She's cool. Just went up to visit her last weekend. Long distance relationship. Well, kind of. We're on a winter break right now. We go to school out in Kansas.

She's out from Minnesota, actually. So I was just up there. Ah, so she's a Midwestern gal. She is. Well, the walks make sense, man. Us Midwesterners, we need our. our outdoor activity or that's how we process our feelings. So you take the walker, you take the blade.

You know what I mean? You think? Yeah. I got to get you guys in opinion because some of my buddies don't agree with me. They think not Missouri is not part of them. Sorry. They think my buddies think the some of the Midwest, Missouri does not, it's not included in that. What's your guys' take on that?

It's a drunk uncle or cousin or someone. You saw it on one of these episodes. But we're the middle of the west. You are in the middle of the west. Also, you're pretty far down there. And guys have southern accents. Some of you. Yeah.

Well, you don't. Not too much. Oh, sweet. You guys are in, by the way. You're in. Oh, yeah. Fire me up. Yeah.

You're 100% in. No, no questions asked about that. But it's, you know, we're going to give you a little, uh, little shit. you know, because you don't come up fishing as much as you should. I know. Actually, that was pretty pissed. I went up to visit my girlfriend, right? Her dad's got this nice ice fishing grid. Got like three beds in it, propane heater, the whole nine yards. And I was, I was really hoping to go ice fishing with him. But he went out the day before. I was, I was pretty upset. That's because he knew you were coming.

Nah, he loved me. He's like, I want to go fishing this weekend. But, you know, so-and-so is coming up. So I better go now. You couldn't go out there by yourself, though? Dude, I don't got shit. She was like seven hours north. Oh. Oh, wow. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, I forgot the name. I forgot the name of the lake. They're down in a, you guys have been to like Mancato, Minnesota. Oh, yeah.

Oh, spent some, quite a bit of time in Mancato. I played football in Mancato. Oh, yeah. She's, flex.

Yeah, she's from. a little town just north of that, just like an hour. So, well, shout it out. Shout it out. Yeah, give them Minnesota. Taylor, I love you to listening. Probably not, but you know. Yeah, I mean, she's not going to love that you, if she is listening, she's not going to love that you said, you know, if you, she was the one because she made you go on. Oh, no, she is though now. Oh, yeah, but she'll get past it. When are you getting engaged? Oh, right now I'm in school. She's got another year left and she's got a couple years after that.

she's going to be like an occupational therapist. Don't ask me what that is because I don't know. So her occupation is therapy. I guess so, sure. Take it as you will. You just answered that question like my mom answers questions. Did I? How?

Hey, what time is dinner? Well, so I got a hair appointment earlier in the day. And then after that, I'm going to run a few errands. Then I'm maybe going to vacuum the living room. And so yeah. And you're like, that wasn't a time. That's crazy.

My mom is spot on with the time. She's the opposite. She's like 6.30 sharp or you're starving. I'm like, all right? So if you're late, you're not eating. Damn there. Damn. Good for your mom.

I know. She's a saint. She puts up so much crap. Yeah. Shout out to the moms out there. Shout out moms. Yeah. Good group of gals.

Absolutely. Single ones hit up Charlie. Oh. Shout out to all the moms out there except for like, what was it, Casey Anthony? Yeah, she's a bitch. Don't shout out to her. All the moms except her.

Shouldn't she a bad mom? Yeah, I mean, out of left field miles, but we'll take it. I mean, I just don't want to blink at all moms because there are some moms out there that, you know, aren't saints. Did she do it? Casey Anthony? I'm pretty sure. I'm still going probably. Let's throw in an allegedly in there just so we don't get sued by the answer.

Anthony manner, you know. Shout out on the mom's, Casey, Anthony, because she allegedly did some bad things. There we go. Thank you for protecting us legally. I appreciate it. Yeah, because we are, the jury, well, technically the jury's not out.

No, she could show. No, I mean, yeah, we just are still unsure. Are we? No, about, never mind. Fucking move on. You want, Miles. Jesus Christ. I'm trying to be engaged in this conversation.

You won't let me finish thoughts. Don't insult your wife on this show. No, she interrupts me all the time. Because it takes me longer to think. Well, get it into my mouth and out into the world. Maybe if you need your neutropics, we would have a little bit more of a pleasant conversation on this. God damn it. Not a sponsor, Neutropics, ladies and gentlemen.

I don't think that there's a company out there called Neutropics. Yeah, there is. It's Newtropics. I've never heard of it. Look it up, Jared. It's out there. No, that's like, that's like saying like this podcast is sponsored by vitamin C.

Yeah, well, I've got some vitamin C at my house right now. This podcast is sponsored by Lions Main. Lyons Main is a thing, Miles. And Miles is right. Oh, Miles is right. What is that? It says New Tropics. First thing.

Tropics Depot. Newtropics Depot. Okay. Well, sounds like a brand to me. Anyways, anything you want, buy, sell, or trade? Oh, I don't know. I got a little 14-5.

Camboed out, John boat, sale with the trailer. A little duck boat. There we go. Trailers helpful. Trailers helpful. Duck boat, it's pretty specific trailer. That's what I'm saying.

It's nice. You know, buying a boat without trailer sucks. Oh, yeah. And then you got to have a lake or a friend. Well, that's cool. How much you want for it? Would you trade it for an engagement ring right now?

Oh, on the spot. Really? Charlie's got an old one he can trade you for it. No, I don't have that. Would it beat the dead horse miles. Thank you. Thank you for defending me. Also, not very nice to say about Charlie's ex-wife calling her a dead horse.

Ooh. That's a little too hot. That was not implied until you brought that up. He was implying. He was implying I was the dead horse. No, she's a lovely lady. She is. No, no, no deal there.

no listen you keep her moving okay we hope you can get uh an engagement ring for this uh boat you got it out in the front yard with a sign on it or i do it's a it's a school but yeah why are you selling your boat why are you selling your boat so i got two of them oh yeah you got get rid of that one why don't you trade it in dude it's got a trailer because uh i just bought it for i bought both them from two of my buddies who don't need them anymore. Dude, you bought two boats? Yeah. Fix it up. I'm fixing it up.

It's a hers situation. Yeah. His and hers. They can't even duck hunt together. She likes going 12 miles out on the lake. Yeah, and a little rickety aluminum boat. Are you? Her dad actually gave me the other

her dad actually gave me the other boat with a little 20 horsepower motor floor. That thing scoots. What's wrong with the boats that you're fixing a month? Nothing. make him a little bit nicer. We're selling for some cash. Yeah. Flipping up.

Yeah. Any leaks, any rivets? That got to be redone? No. The camel one totally replaced the transom. Tigwell to the brand new aluminum sheet on the back. She's dry. There you go.

There you go. So I got to do a tranceum job on my 12 footer, actually. Yeah, send it down to me, dude. well that just sent it down to him yeah just fine just send it down to him Charlie it'll it it should take about 35 minutes I think if I'm thinking about this right worth a shot man yeah well you come on up to me and I'll let you do my transom that sounds dirty to people not involved in this conversation yeah whoa you know also side note shout out Jared go to guy uh is that That number he texts me on, he doesn't use any capitals.

No cap. No caps. Wow. Except like once or twice. That kind of caught me off guard. He's a soft-spoken man, but he carries a big stick. Let me tell you that. I was texting you off the MacBook, and I didn't capitalize it, so I apologize.

No, he said shout out. He liked that. Oh, got you. It's like, I don't know. I didn't know you were chill like that, not using capital letters. I don't want to overtone it too much. I could, he kind of talks like a guy who doesn't use. He doesn't talk in capital letters for sure.

That's actually a great observation about Jared. Everything ends in a period. Yeah, right. I got two exclamation marks in here. Oh, really? Really? Yeah. Also, Jared, why do you spell your name like that?

No hate? It's kind of weird. I didn't really have a choice in the matter. My parents kind of decided to decide it's that long. That's true. I understand that. For the record, I've texted the wrong Jared so much.

Like I have four other Jared's at my phone. None of them have last names. And so I've texted the wrong Jared so much bellied up stuff. Actually, one of those ad reads went to a wrong Jared too way back in the day. Sorry other Jared. I know I haven't talked to you in six years,

but I hope you enjoyed that ad read. Damn, you cold texting an ad. Ad read after six years. Yeah. Pretty much, dude. Pretty much. That's how it goes sometimes. That was one of the deliverables with the brand deal that we did with them.

It's like Charlie's got a text and all of his contacts, the ad read. Could be a new, new deliverable we could add on. That actually could be. All right. You're going to sign up for 12 ad reads on the podcast and then you're also going to get the text package where we just text everyone we know the ad read. Guerrilla marketing.

Guerrilla marketing. Boots on the grid. around. Fingers on the phone marketing scheme. It's actually a great idea. We should add that to list. 100%.

Gotta be worth something. Yeah. A bunch of exes just getting, you know. Dude, that is a talk about something that would be stressful. Like,

would you rather situation? If you threw one, like you have to just mass text everyone in your contact something. That would, provide me unbelievable amount of stress. Oh my God, because a lot are going to reply, and then you're going to feel guilty enough to reply to them. And for a guy with- All the people in your contacts that you don't want a message ever again.

I just went through text yesterday after the holiday, and I got through 300 text messages. Okay. So, okay, so I want to, it is, when we're recording this, it is January 12th. Uh-huh. And Charlie says, I'm going through text. messages that I got over the holiday. Well, I was depressed after the back. It's been at least 12 days since he's gotten the last text message.

That's the wait time on a text message from Charlie Barron's. I was talking about Christmas though. Okay. So even worse. I got back. Looking up to 18, like if you're calling to the hotline, it's like, wait time is 18 days.

But you know, you know, the thing is, though, Miles is like, sometimes you just can't be you get sucked into these phones and then text messages you get bored so you flip over to an app and then I got to delete the app because I can't do it and so I just let them sit there and then it gets a good precedent for people they know that you're to take no offense if you're you're right you do need to set a precedent yeah if you respond quickly that's setting a bad precedent it it is and it's not that I don't love you I do I just I don't love you that much I got, you know, I got-

Charlie's just setting the bar a little bit low. So anytime he texts before that, it's a nice little surprise. It's like I walk right over that bar, you know. That's good. But if you call me, I'll usually answer. That's not fully true either. But I was about to ask Miles, that's true. That's not true.

Not true at all. Well, anyway. I feel like you do get a better shot calling you. You got a better shot at talking to you than texting you for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I also know the times like, you know, there's certain times a day where I'm like, I think he might be like walking on the treadmill, trying to prevent a mental spiral about something. I call him right now.

Dude, you know me so well. Yeah. Dude, you should get a Peloton. Those things are wicked. Yeah. No. I, I'm a big, I'm a big, I like the real thing. I like getting out there in the elements.

I got an actual. He just likes to wear the shorts. Yeah, I do. Yeah. They, they, not a little couple, couple nut huggers. Yeah, well, I put a sock in there for cushion, just for cushion. I usually do a Pringles game. You just put a Pringle's can in my bike or shorts.

There you go. There you go. That's, that's something. The grab and go, kind. Grab and go. Oh, well, it was good talking to you. luck with them duck foot boat sales and your upcoming nuptials and tell your lady we says hi i will i will y'all have a good one you too we'll see you soon well myle chuck it's another

episode here at your office not my office but your office but you're yeah we're at your office and uh it's a great spot come on down here to milwaukee if you can you guys and hey while you're here Don't forget. Tip your bartender. See you next one. Bye-bye. Okay, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.

Oudaloo.