Bellied Up - The Most Interesting Lady in Colorado #187

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

We’re at Matt’s Bar and Grille in New Berlin, WI. First caller is having trouble with his township. Then, Bethany calls in and is wondering how she can become more grumpy. Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code belliedup at https:// www.bruntworkwear.com/belliedup #Bruntpod #ad

Hey, folks, welcome to another episode of the Bellied Up podcast. I'm here with my good friend, my comrade, my not lover, but... Metaphorical lover. Brain lover. Miles, that you bet you guy, ladies and gentlemen. If we were avatars, we would have taken our, like, tails and put them together at this point. I would have touched tips at tails with you, Miles. I for sure would.

Yeah, we're here at Matties. In New Berlin, Wisconsin. I grew up in New Berlin, Miles, fun fact. You did. Sure did. This is a hometown. This is a homecoming. Homecoming.

Let me tell you, Chris over here at Maddie's makes one heck of an old-fashioned. Oh, my gosh. I got the Maddie's old-fashioned. A little olives in there. Some olives. I got a press. I got a press. You see their outdoor space here at this bar chart?

Oh, my. My gosh. Jumbotron. They can fit 1,500 people out there, they said. Really? I want to test it. I bet actually a Packer game is pretty sick out there. I bet you it is.

I bet you, you know, it'd be pretty cool. Actually, right now it's snowing out there to do kind of like a Lambo experience. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Like, just have people watch the game outside. Yeah, yeah. You know?

Yeah. And you kind of upsell it. It's like the Lambo experience package comes with like, $12 beers and yeah sure that would work no that won't work no but i like watching a game outside to be honest with yeah yeah um like in the stadium or just anywhere outside my friend pam she's got a house over by lamo field um pam yonkey fabulous farm babe shout out and you can watch the game on the lambo jumbo tron from her backyard that's pretty cool in it cool yeah and you got wain learvie on the radio and then you can just watch it.

I mean, that's, that's the way to do it. You know, she calls it the PAMBO. Guys, I don't know if you know this, but Miles and I got dinner last night. Yeah, I don't think they know it. They do now. They do now. And Miles and I, we got the exact same thing. Exact

same splits. We didn't split it, but I just copied what Miles ordered. It was quite literally copy and and paste. We got the exact same thing all the way through. We shared a crab Shared a crab cake. Miles wanted wine. I was skeptical of the wine. I was like, I don't know. It was a fancier place. And we were getting steak. So I was like, let's do some wine. Yeah. And I said, one glass of wine. I said, you know what, Miles? When in a fancy place, get the wine. Kind of like a win in Rome drink. Same church, different pew. But anyways, we both got the rabbi. Now, Miles, I got a question for you. How was your sleep last night? Um, like, did I wake up, you mean?

Uh-huh. No. I had trouble falling asleep. Okay. Yeah? Okay. So what happened to you? Now, this ribeye we got was, you know, ribbyes are a fattier piece of meat.

Yeah. And I think the gristle got to me. Miles, I think it did. Because I, I went to sleep good. I got to sleep nice. I did. I was conked out by 1145, I'm guessing. Okay.

Maybe 1130. But it's tough to say when the actual REM started. But I think I was dancing in my dreams about 1145. And then about 3.30 in the morning, that rib eye just started boxing with my guts. Just phew, phew. And it was causing so much heat that I was just sweating, sweating up a storm, miles. And I had two blankets on going to bed because I keep my heat at. 62 degrees all winter long.

But I was sweating. And then I had to be like, did the heat go on? So I put out an arm, you know? And I was like, nope, that feels about 62 degrees. And it was just the internal heat. Is there something inside of you trying to get out? Yes. Yes.

My heart was having a fever. And I don't know. I don't know. But from that point on, Miles, I apologize in advance if today I'm off my game because it was 20 minutes of wild dreams back awake 30 minutes of an epic adventure

back awake and the heat it took me until about 7.30 in the morning to get back to a standard heat temperature and I woke up I took two tombs. First I took one 750 tum. I don't know what that means. It was just a number on the roll. I was like, oh, I've never paid

attention to the numbers on the tom's roll i didn't know they had them i didn't know either so i took one and i was like and that might be a new thing but anyway i took one and went back to bed weird dreams woke up i took a thousand um and that one though was the minty thousand and i was like you don't got to brush your teeth you're good yeah but it was kind of like a chalky mint and nothing was working i got up again i was like i got to need an apple or something check the apples they had mold you ever get an apple, a moldy apple. I've never seen a moldy apple in my life. I go on tour sometimes and it was in the core was blue mold, which didn't seem too bad to me. So I cut it off, cut off a few pieces of that. It passed a sniff test, popped an apple in just to see if that could like break some things apart.

And I eventually fell asleep for another little bit. But I'm here today. So I just wanted to bring that up just to see if you and I had a nice place, nice restaurant. I'm not saying anything like that. I just think I was not ready for the piece of meat. And I ate half of what you ate, Miles. I know, which I'm concerned, you know, that I don't know why we just weren't agreeing on it, my stomach and me, you know? Anyways.

But it's good to be here with you, Miles, today. It really is. So basically you just, you had to just take a shit this morning. Nope. That hasn't happened yet, Miles. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I'm fine. But I think the amount of energy it took to figure my stomach to figure out what to do with that cut of meat.

Robbed you of your sleep. Yeah. And some people call this the meat sweats. Jared, I can tell you you want some to add. Oh, yeah, it could be the crab cakes, too, that got you. Yeah. Feeling all this way. Oh.

Something fishy. I mean, he had a half a, I mean, it was. Well, Miles had the same thing. Miles had half a crab cake. but it could have been disagreeable. I mean, Miles may have more of a hardened stomach when it comes to crab cakes and steaks. Could have been the wine.

Grand band name. Crab cakes and steaks is a great bad name. Yeah, I mean, I don't feel that way at all. I feel, my guts feeling pretty good today. Yeah. So I don't know what that says about me, you know? Well, I mean, I think, I think, you know, maybe you're just more accustomed to the steaks and wine.

I mean I mean are you eating like a vegetarian or vegan diet right now or what like why okay no I mean I I in fact have some bison in my freezer right now I've been I've been not more of a bison and venison guy as a

I don't think I've had a steak but for maybe a month month was a go as the last time I had steak but I've still been eating you know venison and bison and fish what was a lot of

time this happened to you? Oh, I don't know, Miles. I can't remember. Now, sometimes I'll get, sometimes I'll get the, uh, the meat sweats. What's kind of funny is like, I'm coming through this week unscathed. Jared yesterday kind of had the same shit that you had. Yeah. And the common denominator is I ate dinner with him that night.

Uh-huh. And then I eat dinner with you. And I feel great. And you guys feel like dog shit. What does that say about the inside? of my body. They're fighters. They just have calluses. Yeah. From all the years or what?

They're just in there right now, smoking a heater. You know? Send this more. That's all you got. Jared, do you think, do you think, like, were you, were you getting the meat sweats once in the night? I just, I just, my stomach felt like a block punt. Just, just something like a rock in there.

Yeah. A little nauseous and sort of thing. Did you, yeah, see, I was considering pulling trig. did you get yourself a little tums or something? Yeah, I had some thums. Okay. I always bring tums with me no matter what. That's the,

that goes before the toothbrush. That's it. Tums before toothbrush. That's a great thing of like the, in order of least to most important things to bring in your toiletries. Floss is always last on the list. You, wait,

you're bringing floss in your toilet tree bag? That's crazy. On occasion. That's crazy. You got to floss every now and again, my house. Not all this. Yeah, I do it once a year when I go to the dentist.

Well, you got some gapers. You got some nice spacing. You know, your teeth are in suburbs over there, some of them. And mine, mine, they're a little tighter together. I got more of a city street situation, more of a brownstone situation over by me. Like, if I floss right now, blood everywhere. Oh, really? Well, you got to do it more than miles.

That's not healthy. We don't need your gums creeping into your teeth. But maybe it's a big floss conspiracy out there. I think we've divined into, oh my gosh, they put eggs on burgers here. I think that, I think in reality, most people, they always tell you don't brush too hard. I don't think people are brushing hard enough. Ah, okay. I brush pretty hard.

You're a hard brusher. And I've never had a cavity. And the dentist, I was going twice a year for a little bit there. And they said, we're like, they're like, we don't need you to come twice a year. That's impressive. They said that. They're like, yeah, we're just, this is weight. wasted time for us.

No kidding. Yeah. How is a dentist just throwing away money like that? I don't know. Let me see those gum lines. Yeah. Nah, not too receding. There's that one that's receding a little bit.

Okay. I might take you back to the dentist soon. Ask him if that number one is... Do you feel better about your teeth now? A little bit. After doing that to me? A little bit. Thank you.

That's all this is, Miles. It's just me putting you down to the level of which I see myself. I'm just projecting all my So are you feeling better now, Charlie? Yeah, I got an old-fashioned cooking miles. That should help. I'm feeling good. Getting that burger with the egg on it should help too.

I mean, that looks good though. See, that's how I know I'm better because that's looking tempting. Okay. Yeah. All right, well, should we do some collars? Let's do a mile. You're feeling better? So like rock and lock and roll.

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So it would be like me like if I had a boot brand, And I would name it the Barrens. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of cool. Or the tackle box. So, guys, if you don't know what Brunt workwear is, um, you got to check them out. Brunt was,

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Sweatshirts are comfortable. Hi, how come, oh, wow, I didn't realize you were wearing that this whole time. Jeez, that's a nice one. I kind of want to get that color, too. So, Charlie, I also want to reveal boots. Ready? Okay. Ooh, this is the Omen.

Wait, you have to do the thing where they do that, right? Why do they do that? Tada! Whoa, sexy. Look at that. Oh, that's a good smell on shoe. I will tell you that right now. Jared's wore those many times now, so you like the smell of his foot.

Is that a steel toe? They do have a, the comp toe is what they call it. I'm actually wearing those right now if you want to pop that off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, you want to try this one on? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. Miles, you've got to be stretching the hammies more. Oh, yeah, look at that.

That's nice. So, guys, if you want boots like these, which I've been wearing them, they're very comfortable right out of the box. Off the bar. But they're also durable. You've got to go to bruntworkware.com. Use code bellied up for 10% off.

I'm a lot of breath after eating a burrito and put my leg up on the bar. I can tell. You know what I like about these boots, Miles? Church boots. Yeah, you can wear the, those ones at church. Yeah. And you could even do it as a wedding, you know, because the slacks are going to go over the top there.

And all you're going to see is this nice, beautiful brown leather, you know? That's a nice, that's a nice boot right there. I like how you can go from job site to church, Miles. That's what we're looking for. Yeah. All right. So go to brownworkware.com, guys. Use code bellied up.

Charlie, this week is Valentine's Week. Boundt, bount, boundt. And Valentine's Week is. When people try to be romantic and Wisconsin winter tries to humble you immediately. Hand stuff. Yeah, you don't want to be doing hand stuff around Valentine's Day in the car when you're driving, especially with the winter conditions. Nope. You know, you got the hand stuff.

You got the reservation. You're dressed nice. You're feeling good. Then you pull into the restaurant lot and it's pure ice. Slicker than you know what? Not a parking lot. That's not a parking lot out there, Charlie. It is a rink.

You step out, confident, boom. You're on your back. You're laid out like a cartoon and your significant others pretending they don't know you while strangers are watching the whole thing. Embarrass him. Valentine's, even after you got hand stuff, that's terrible. Okay. So, um, yeah. So she's pretending she doesn't know you.

You know, there's also a chance that, well, you are playing with the shifter in the car, putting it in park, drive. You get rear-ended at a stoplight. Sounds erotic. Someone's checking their phone, like, because someone else is doing stuff in the car on the way to their dinner. Foot stuff. If they're doing foot stuff with the pedal. If date night turns into an injury or a crash, Nicolet Law is who you call. to fight for what's fair.

1-8-5. Nicolay. Hello, Joe. Hey, how's it going? Where are y'all at? We're at Maddie's Bar and Grill here in New Berlin, home of Charlie Barron's, Wisconsin. Oh, New Berlin. All right.

New Berlin. So we hear, Jared told me about this before we called you here, and I'm very curious of where this is going to go, but you are having. you're in a little bit of a, you're having a complaint about your local, historic society. Well,

the guy is, okay, I'll give you the background. So I'm not from Wisconsin. I'm from the South, but I moved to Wisconsin two years ago. Hoping I'd make a bunch of

Midwest nice friends, but unfortunately I've made one enemy. And, uh, I'm trying to reverse course and turn to me. into a friend. A Midwest to me. Yeah, exactly. But he's, so he's the historic society guy, but he's also the city planner. So he's in charge of like making sure that the codes are enforced

and like municipal operations. Yeah, so he's a professional narc. Pretty much. And that was kind of what I wanted to figure out. Like, do people in the Midwest respect their city officials or should I just blow this guy off? Well, at the same time, I want to be nice to him. because I live in a small town now and I realize that I'm going to have to see these people again, you know? Yeah, I mean, let's first figure out what he did to wrong you here. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, all of it listed out doesn't maybe sound as bad, but like it's mostly a general vibe that I get towards me. But my fiance and I moved up here about two years ago. We bought a fixer upper in this small town. It's in a very prominent location. Like it's right next to the sign. our town, so not to brag. Everyone kind of knows, like, us in my house we got.

My house is kind of a big day. Well, it's kind of the cornerstone of the town. There's no hiding. He knows that I live here and he knows the house. Sure. It was the worst house on its block. Now it's the best house. Like, we fixed it up.

Hey, did you do the work yourself? Actually, my fiance did 90% of it. I can barely hold a hammer. She's the hand, because she's from the Midwest, so she's handier than I am. Okay. All right. So let's store that information away for later, Charlie. Okay.

Collecting information here. All right. Got it. Got it. So, so basically we need it look good, like did a bunch of landscaping. The first thing that he did was he parked an excavator in my yard because they redid our road. Yep. And they were pretty much 100 different locations that they could park.

the excavator, but he chose my yard and I took it personally. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. I get that. Not a small bulldozer, right? Like a big excavator blocking my view. They crushed my, it was fall. They crushed my leaf piles. They didn't crush your leaf pile. Oh, no, not the leaves.

They drove right through my leaf pile that I had just made. You were just about to jump in those leaves, dude. I know I'm taking it personally, but like this guy can clearly tell that we take pride in our house, you know? Yeah. So I took it personally. Maybe it wasn't, you know, maybe he wasn't trying to wrong me, but that's how I took it. He parked it on. So hold on. So, and when you say he could have parked at a hundred different places, do you mean that he could have parked it at anyone else's house?

No, like there's a side street with an empty lot that he could have parked it on. Like, there's just a lot of different better places, but he chose my yard specifically. Well, do you ask permission? No. I woke up one day and there's an excavator in my yard. Now, is part of your yard that's like city property? Yeah, technically it's the right away. Yeah. Technically it's, I get it. Okay, I see. Still annoying, though. I get it. Yeah. And so he, so it's also, we had like half, we have a driveway and a half where we did because this place used to be a duplex. And so like there is a, like a driveway apron. And they got rid of that when they redid the road, which they didn't ask either.

It was technically like against city code because it wasn't going to a full driveway. So like I understood that, but they didn't give me any heads up or warning or anything. And that was like where we did extra parking and stuff. So again, like maybe not a slight towards me, but I still took it that way. Yeah. Anytime I try to get in touch with this guy to like pull a. permit, it takes four months. Oh, yeah.

That's standard practice. Get in line, you know. You realize that there's someone else that he, that's waiting on him as well. It's been six months, you know? Exactly. But like I'm the kind of guy, like I'll call, you know, like I'm not afraid to just call the city, like never in the office. Not once have I been able to reach him.

Oh, he's there. That is by, by design. But anyway, the biggest, though, what I took most offense to is that we did a bunch landscaping and planted trees and stuff. And when he came, because I pulled a permit to, I want to rebuild the second driveway, he came out to look at it. And he's like, oh, by the way, you got to cut down those four trees because we're on a corner lot.

And there's a vision triangle for the oncoming traffic to be able to see. He's like, those four trees are in the vision triangle. And like basically he didn't measure anything. He just kind of said that. And then I looked at the code. I measured, my fiance and I measured, and I really don't think they're a violation. So we threw him a bone and we moved one tree, but I have not yet moved the others, which is part of my dilemma. I'm like, should I listen, should I even listen to this guy?

Well, is it too cold or not? Is you right or not? I don't think he's right. Well, you measured it. You measured it. I mean, it's, I don't know if you've read city code. It's pretty murky. it's not very easy to understand.

Yeah, I get it. I mean, just any like city-county code is crazy. Like where I got a lake cabin. Yeah. If you want, the rule is, if you're going to like tear your place down and build something new, how close you can get to the lake, you just take a string and you put it on the front of the two neighbors, you run a string between the two neighbors' houses and that's how far you can get to the lake. You can't go past that line.

Really? Yeah. It's half the distance between the two houses. Yeah. So, yeah, it's basically. Yeah. So if, like, one house is further back and one house forward, wherever that line is, your house can't go past that line.

Oh, you got to be shitting me. Yeah. It's so bizarre. It's like funny that it's like not, there's no like official number. You know, it's not like, you know, 25 feet or 50 feet from the shoreline. It's just like, yeah, just take out a string line, run it. then go from there. I would love to see how they write that into the code.

Yeah, it's basically it. I just said it. Yeah, word for word almost. I will add all the trees are within my fence. I understand the concept of division triangle, but we didn't plan anything outside of the fence. It's not, nothing's in the right away. Yeah.

How big is your town? It's small. It's like, 5,000 people. Yeah, so I think like part of it is probably there's not a lot of other people doing much in town and you're like just really hammering this guy for permits and stuff

and you've been really renovating. So it's more so like you, the more attention you draw to yourself by contacting this guy is actually getting worse off for you. You know? Yeah. I think, I think it's, this is worth a chit chat, I think, at some point. You can probably find out this guy lives in the community.

You can probably, do you know a lot of people there yet or no? Not really. I know all my neighbors, but not personally now. What are your neighbors? Are they having troubles with this guy? Not that I've heard of, but also I don't think anyone's really done any big projects here in the last 20, 30 years. That's what I'm saying, dude. You're like the only one he's dealing with, so he's hyper-focused.

So you got to start encouraging your neighbors to start doing projects. Yeah, you flood the zone. This is about muzzle velocity. You got to start getting a lot of other projects going so yours can slip through the cracks. Yeah. Well, I also, like, I just get the vibe that he doesn't like me, which maybe I'm probably thinking about him more than he's thinking about me. But, you know, I just want, like, I really want him to like me. Well, what's that about for you?

What's that about for you? I think I've had at least one enemy in every town that I've lived, but I want to be Midwest nice. You know, I'm trying to acclimate to the culture. And has that one enemy in every town you've lived always been the guy at City Hall? No. Okay. No, and that's the thing. So it's just this one guy.

I actually have good relationships with everyone else here. Even like the mayor, I know the mayor, and he's nice. He likes me. Oh, you know the mayor? And one of the mayor to do a little intro for you guys. Tell him I just want to clear the air and you sit down with the guy and just have a chit-chat. Yeah. And I just wish, like, even if he told me something was against code or I had to change something,

I just wish he'd be nice about it. He's just not very nice. He works for the city. His job is to be not nice. You know? Yeah. He's the attack dog. Yeah, I don't know.

It just wasn't what I expected. You know, I expected more Midwest kindness. Well, I mean, look, how kind have you been to him? I'm very, so I'm persistent, but I'm very polite. Polite and persistent. Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Very fine line. I'd like to, you know, I'd like to watch some film on you being polite but persistent. And maybe get an ocular pat down if that's real reality, Charlie. Yeah. You got any emails popped up?

yeah let's let's see let's hear what like all right so me and charlie we just pretend we're one human being uh-huh and we're the city guy and you want to put a shed in the back and you're looking for a permit and you you have you're able you were able to book a meeting and discuss said permit where that guy you're you go be politely persistent say hey man i'm looking to be looking to build a shed and I just want to make sure I'm doing this the right way. You could get back to see, confirm everything that I need to, all the boxes that I need to check. Oh, God. Okay.

Which house is yours again? You're that one on the corner where the wife does all the fucking work and the guy just sits around on his ass. Is that you? Is that you? Yeah, that's me. All right. Let me pull up your file. about fucking a thousand pages long.

Let me see here. Oh, yeah. You're the one that had the illegal driveway, the illegal trees, and I probably haven't notified you yet, but we're going to have to tear out your mailbox as well. Also, quick question. You see my excavator?

Yeah, I was blocking my view for about two months. Oh, no way. I parked it. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I put it there. Oh. oh, it's blocking your view? How about your trees blocking the view of the drivers that have kids in the back that may be getting a car accident?

This, he's so, yeah. No, listen. So, okay, so why did you come in here again today? Sorry, I got distracted by your huge file. Well, the first question I had is, do people in the Midwest respect their city officials? Uh, yeah, I think it's, it depends on the city official. It depends. Like if my city official was giving me, everyone's knee-jerk reaction is to dislike authority if it's inconvenient, you know?

So probably the people, people either don't think about them or if they do it's because they haven't been able to get a permit or they've gotten some complaint. And yeah, they don't like that. Okay. So like, Miles, if you were going to do work on your lake house, like, would you, like, are you checking to make sure everything's to code or are you just eyeballing it? well i mean if i'm gonna actually build something i gotta get a permit i get a permit do you though my yeah i would yeah i would um yeah i mean here's the thing like when is anyone uh ever really got what they want with the city by being very resistant and complaining a lot you know yeah i mean these guys deal with this a bunch you gotta kind of you got to be like overnice disarm them

and then you'll get your way it's sort of a sweet talk situation it kind of sucks the other option is just never pull permits, but then you, you, if you, if you want to sell your house, that's going to be an issue. Yeah, I think the other thing you got to keep on the watch here is you say you got a good relationship with all your neighbors, but I'm here saying that you may have a mole in the neighborhood. And a lot of times city officials don't know what's going on until there's a whistleblower. So you may have someone in the neighborhood who's complaining about your trees and your driveway.

well i don't i don't that may be true i don't think any of my neighbors would do that because like when i'm telling you my house is bad like it it looked bad oh and you i think they're grateful you've done a good service or your wife has and so i think listen i think what i really do think what you do is you kind of do a little chit-chat around town casually ask ask the mayor if he knows this guy you know the mayor well right yeah he's Yeah. So maybe, maybe you and your wife take the mayor out to dinner and then you casually bring this up halfway through. Make sure he's had a couple of drinks, you know, and then you'll get the real vibe from the mayor on this guy. You know, you'll find out if the mayor likes him or not. But either way, the mayor can help you pull some strengths. He's the mayor, okay? Okay. I do think it is quite crazy that he ripped out your driveway without telling you. That's, that is, there, we've been, you know, pulling your chain here. here on a few things we've been kind of going a little tough on you but the truth is yeah if this

guy sounds like a pain in the ass no doubt yeah well it was just the heads up you know like if he had just told me he was doing it that would have been better but it was the surprise yeah that's wait wait wait wait did you email him after this surprise oh yeah can i pull it up read that email want to know what i want to hear and we want word for word we do not do any redactions this is a this is a FOIA request right now. This is not the Epstein files. We want the whole thing. I can't give away who these people are, so I can't do it full.

Okay. Just change the names. Yeah. Yeah. What town is this again? Sometimes they say it. So I did. Okay, well, here's another thing.

So when they ripped it out, I said, I kind of fit and I said, because it was half a driveway. And so I kind of fibbed and said, like, I had a plan to do the full. driveway because that was the issue is that it has to be connected to a full driveway. But I bought the house with it already there. So I just told him that like, hey, I was planning to build the second driveway. So I actually convinced them they're going to, they're going to give me the apron part for the for the real driveway that I'm going to do. Yeah. And they're going to pay for that.

Yeah. But there's all this back and forth where he's like, we have to do it before the end of this year. We have to do it before the end of this year. And then I talked to another guy and he's like, no, we can do it next year. So can you read the email? I said I'm the owner at Blank, and I was just informed by it blank that my second driveway apron will be removed during the street construction. Okay.

Do you recommend it I reach out to you about- So hold on. So hold on. You said that they just ripped it out and they didn't warn you. Well, they, so I called them. I called them about the excavator being parked there because it was on the apron. part in my yard and they said well we're ripping that up these like no one told you that because we're getting rid of it like it doesn't matter that the excavators parked there because we're

going to rip it up anyway okay so you did get a warning before they just pour it out well because i was yeah he had he had to get all right continue on with said email well that was it i'm like please let me know who to discuss about this and who to send the project to and they had me like hand draw my plans, which I guess is normal, but, you know, I had to like send them 10 different drawings before they approved my plan for the new driveway. So that was that was word for word while your email. What did you say after that? Well, from there, it's just kind of the nuts and bolts of like the driveway.

It's not that interesting because they kept pushing me off to other people too. So it wasn't even this main guy that I was dealing with most of the time, but he's the one who came out to do the survey. Read me. Read me the last five words of the email. I said, please let me know if you're the best person to send this to slash discuss this project with. And that was a little bit, I was getting a little bit aggravated there because like there's

too much back and forth. No, that's, that's not, that's not the worst. I said the last five words. That was like 15. What, what, did you sign your name? Oh, yeah. And what did you put right before your name? I said that was what I ended it on.

I said the best person to discuss this project with. You didn't do any. I appreciate your attention to this. Thanks. Maybe. No, no. Maybe. Oh, you're past that.

Okay. So you were doing thanks early on in the emails. Well, I would just, yeah, there's back and forth. And it was the time when I just needed answers. I see. I think at some point, we need to call. on the closer we need to get your wife start emailing. You're running into a brick wall here, you know?

Well, the part B was how do I make this guy like me? Well, you got a, I mean, we got to, you got to know the guy to know how to make him like you. I think you got to donate a park to the city. I think that's where we're really at. Forget donate and park to the city. Donate a shoebox of cash to this guy. Everyone knows that's how you get something done in the city. Yeah, that was.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'll give him the trees that I have to rip up. Or donate them to a park. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. This is like, I feel like if you just, if you just went into any random city, you're going to, you're going to, this is, we can walk down the road and find four people that have the same problems with the city.

Yeah. Anytime you give anyone authority, 50% of those people will be a prick with their authority. and 50% will be cool. You know, it's some of that power and the human condition. Nothing you can do about it. You just got to find out what does this person want

and how can I legally give it to them or illegally without anyone else knowing. But that's for you to figure out, you know? Also, I want you to, let's maybe kind of wrap this up. Let's put ourselves in his shoes, all right? Okay. Do you think growing up his dream was to be working for a, city working on codes.

Yeah. Yeah. You know? Probably not. Probably not. I think this was his dream. What was his dream? Do you think? I don't know. Maybe he wanted to be a professional piano player. You know? Oh, yeah. Maybe he wanted to sail the seven seas. That's true. And then he settled for being a city official, you know? And that's just as slowly eating away at him every single day. And And when he sees a tree that's maybe slightly in a vision line, he says, that's got to go. He's got to go. Because I am not out there sailing the seas. I'm here working on the city stuff.

Yeah, maybe he's taken out. And that right there is maybe some fuel that, you know, you invite him out for coffee. You just get to know him. Yeah. Find out what's his, you know, hey, yeah, you know, like, have you always been a city official? Is there anything else you were into doing? And then you really get them to open up, get to the root cause of this whole thing.

Yeah. And when you reach out to them, take one on the chin. Even if you don't, you know, you might have to say, hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I'll take responsibility for that. Can I buy you lunch sometime and just talk to you about what I'd like to do for my home in this city, you know? And then just you're buying lunch.

and if you can stomach that, you'll probably get what you want. Okay, all right. Got to play the long game. Set the ego aside and just tell that guy what he wants to hear. And make no mistake, if Miles and I were in this situation,

we probably wouldn't do this. We'd just be bitching about it. But, you know, if you really want to resolve your situation, that's a way to do it. Yeah, I like your idea about the mayor. I might start with the mayor. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Start with the mayor. The town runs through the mayor. Yeah. Yeah, you know what... Some people know what makes someone beat, you know, and the mayor might have that on him.

Hell, the mayor may have some dirt on him and the mayor might be able to say, hey, Lonnie, figure this guy out or I'll... Yeah, maybe... Tell him about the shoebox of cash you got from the... Maybe no one's told the mayor about how big of a pain and the ass this guy is. Maybe we could, you know...

Yeah, the mayor probably is responsible for hiring and firing to a degree. all right yeah yeah yeah it'll be all right small town Wisconsin politics

I'm learning a lot which town is again I also just don't think this is a Midwest deal I think this is just the United States in general no this is a power deal

anytime some people can't handle power they just can't some people can't handle money some people can't handle power some people get power they turn into a prick. It's just the facts of human nature.

So this is you can't always judge a location based on elected or unelected officials. Power turns a man strange. Don't, yeah, don't let this guy make your feeling about the Midwest turned sour.

All right. Oh, no. Everyone else has been Midwest, nice. It's just this one guy. All right. Well, you tell your wife, he says hi what kind of uh what what what what's her drill brand by the way rioti uh yikes you should be a good husband go get her some milwaukee de walt either of those would be nice all right not a sponsor not a sponsor i think they're all owned by the same company

i know i just like uh certain at some point you just like the yeah names all right man well we appreciate Appreciate it and good luck with the mayor. Yep, we'll do. Thanks. Bye-bye. I think he's just learning about what home ownership is, you know. We'd should have asked him that. What? Like, is this your first home?

You know? I remember my first home. Yeah. Or like, yeah, I think it just goes without saying that you're, you know, I remember waiting for six months for a permit. and there was no no just no interaction and no apology nothing and it's just like well you just kind of assume that you know yeah that's way it goes yeah you could donate a wing to the historical society yeah we never even got into the historical what the hell was a historical yeah he did more yeah he clearly was not about the historical side yeah he had a he had an axe to grind and

I don't think we ground it enough for him. I think he was hoping we'd be more on his side, but we're here to help, not be a synchofant, you know? I think I said that word, Ryan. Is that a corduroy hat, Jared? Damn, black corduroy hat, plain. You want one? We can send it.

We can send one to you. Okay. We got more at the warehouse. You guys just have a bunch of blank corduroy hats? Yeah, we bought, we were maybe going to do some with them. We didn't. So now Ryan's selling them on eBay, so. Nice.

That dude loves eBay. Does he? Ryan. Ryan, that works for me. If the listener doesn't know, he is the king of eBay. Just sitting there with a mouthguard cruising eBay all day. I'm pretty sure he leaves his note is like volume on on his phone just so he can hear the kaching sound when he sells something on eBay. That's what gets him going. Yeah.

Oh, bad. Yeah. So he's making that money over there, huh? Good for him. All right. Should we do another caller? Let's do it. Bethany?

Hey, how's it? Bethany, you are a hard gal to reach. Yeah, we had to call you four times, Bethany. Hey. Hello? Bethany. How's it going? Bethany.

Tell us about your botany. Botany. Well, I'm looking at some of it right now. There's a bunch of tree suckers over here. Oh. What's the? Yeah, elm trees. Nice.

What's the highest? and plant right now or tree? The highest tree is, looks like a linden tree. I'm at a, that, oh, that's a big old pinion pine over there and a blue spruce. No, what's the highest selling, right?

Oh, what's the highest selling tree? Yeah. Oh, man. Like 25 gallons, 15 gallons, blue spruce. Okay. Okay. One last time now.

What's the highest tree? Oh, okay. You got there. Um. All right. Beth. All right, Beth.

That was a trick you passed. Do you go by Beth or just Bethany? Bethany, my landscaper calls me Beth. So he gets a pass. Okay. Do we get a pass? Yeah. Yeah.

If you want. All right, Beth. All right, Beth. So, yeah, you called in and you said you had something to talk to us about. And so far, I think it holds up. You said that you're interested in being more grumpy. Yeah. So, yeah, so I was a bartender for a long time.

And I was trying not to be grumpy as a bartender. But now, like, you know, like my paint crew, my landscaping crew. like I get to be grumpy. So I was like maybe there's some like physical cues I could throw around. Like I know like silence is a good sign. Okay. So you would say naturally you are a pretty happy go lucky gal then. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So so you're calling us to get some advice on how to be grumpy, Charlie. Well, what are the, what are the 10 commandments of being grumpy, Charles? First of all, you need to get your RBF going. That's your resting Bethany face. And it's not actually the resting Beth face. It's the resting Beth face.

It's the face you make when a stranger calls you back. And honestly, that's a great point, Charlie. You need to start viewing yourself in kind of a split personality type thing. Bethany is nice. Beth is a hard ass. Beth is, yeah. Beth is and you need to give Beth a backstory. okay. Beth isn't, she's not a...

Beth's done hard time. Beth has done... You already sound like my landscaper. He already has this bit. He spreads rumors around town that I've been in jail. Well, you were in jail. Lean into it.

You were in jail for selling those trees. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah, you're a botanist. Yeah. All these Siberian elms. Yeah, not those trees. You were selling bricks of trees.

Bricks of trees. Yeah, you were. transport them across river boundaries and then you got put in the big house so that's beth she's seen some shit she smokes uh she smokes cigarettes she smokes anything she can get her hands on whatever yeah if it's smokable it is she'll do it she's put some some long grass in her pipe and puffed on that just for fun some kinnikinik which is uh willow bark yeah just to smooth the... Are you an herbalist?

I've been around some herbs, Beth. But, yeah, that's number one. So really build this backstory and live it. And I want you to pick one day a week to live as Beth. So you get practice turning it on. You're going full Beth all day. Beth goes to a bar and she doesn't have guys hit on her. She hits on a guy.

Are you married? No. Good, because this would ruin that relationship. So you are just going to walk in a bar and walk out with the man or woman of your choosing, Beth. Maybe both at the same time. Y'all just read me like seconds. Yeah, I can tell. Yeah.

I think another good way to be grumpy. I'm usually really grumpy when I'm hung over. So you could just become an alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah. And then you're just constantly, well, I guess alcoholics aren't constantly hung over. Just drink all night. And then the rest of the day you can be hung over.

That's good. Okay, so you just fucking told her to smoke everything under the sun. And then I say she should get drunk and you're like, that's a bridge too far. It's a bit of a brick. Well, I'm trying to. You're telling her to just sleep with anyone she can get her hands on. And me saying she should get drunk every night is too far. You're suggesting that we spend rumors that she's in prison and you're like,

ah, getting drunk at night too far. I was just thinking. Her son contacts, Bethany already lives on South Broadway in Denver. So you can't hurt me. Oh, okay, South Broadway. I'm going to pretend like I know what that means. Don't you all go to Denver? Yeah, I did a show on Broadway, I think.

Do you ever go to Comedy Works? Yeah, I've been there. Oh, you don't want to finish that fruit. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, I'll steal it off there. Just didn't want that to go into the garbage disposal there. Sorry, Beth.

they almost stole my fruit but listen comedy works yeah yeah I've done the paramount that's a little ways away from there isn't it by the way show coming up at the paramed are you going to come Beth or no sorry Miles sorry we're in the middle of a bit

we're in the middle of a bit because he killed the bit did you hear what she just said well we're in the bit dude I said I got a show out there you're going to go she goes we'll see she's full bath I was just saying I have a lot of friends that work at Columbia works so okay all right nice all right Miles so you gotta stop hanging out with people that

professionally work at a place that's a laugh factory you know I mean like you got to start hanging around different crew if you want to be grumpy well that's that's true yeah but if if the if you're uh around the chuckles a lot miles you start the chuckles kind of wear on you and you never laugh actually. You just say, oh, that's funny. Yeah, actually expose yourself to more comedy. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

So you don't get caught off guard with a smile when you don't want to be smiling. Actually, you know, who's a great case study for you, Beth, is just Midwest dads. Yeah. So, like, if you can just take all of the pages in their book, you are going to live perpetually grumpy and therefore accomplish your goal.

Yeah, you want to be on a daily basis generally irritated because you kind of got to pee, but you can't. You got that enlarged prostate generally preventing you from peeing, and you always kind of have to pee a little, but it just not happening. Yeah, so this is helpful. It's also just like I get stuck in like bartender server voice, and I'm also a teacher at after school, so it's like really hard for me to talk shit to my coworkers when I sound like I'm about to

bring them a side of ranch or something. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, or well, we can role play. We'll be your co-workers and, uh,

we can, you know, coach you through it. All right. So you just drop the nail gun on the floor, stormed away, and you're looking for a tool. God.

Damn it. Ah, God. I knew I should have wore my steel toes. I told you to wear the damn steel toes. Son of a bitch and nothing's ever where it should be. I'm looking for this other tool. I can't find it. For God's sake, it's over in the box. Look around. I'm looking in the box. It's not there.

It's not in the box. It's in a bag. Look. And here we go. Giddy Bethany is here. Oh, geez, Louise. What do you want? What do you want? You want to pick up that nail gun? Can you do it faster? And you can pick up your pants. I can see all the way to your mom's house. By the way, she's going to be late to pick you up today. She called me. I can't do it. Yeah, you sound like someone who's nice who's trying to be mean. You're laughing halfway through that, Beth.

Come on, full bath. Full beth. Let's go full bath. Drink a gallon of water and call us back in 10 minutes. A gallon? We need you to, well, I don't know metric system. Yeah, we're in America. Yeah.

All right. So I can do it. I'm kind of confused though now. Where we just at a kids place? So where do you, I'm very confused at what you've done. You're a botanist. You work at a bar.

You work at a school. You also work with construction guys. I'm very confused. Construction guys probably work at the school. Are they fixing something on the school? The construction guys are fixing something on the school. No. Okay.

I'm an after-school tutor for a chess club. You're just listing more jobs, Beth. And I also work at a music venue, a dive bar, but just at the venue door. I'm not a bartender anymore. Okay. Why not? And then because I don't want to. Okay.

And then where do the construction guys come into the loop here? The contract painters. Okay, so you're a painter who's also a botanist, who's also a chess teacher who also is a bouncer. Yes. You are the most interesting woman in Denver. You really are. Do you know Karani or something? Usually, and this is not sexism, but usually the bouncers are bigger fellas.

So what are you implying, Charlie, about Bethany? Well, usually they're tall males. Yes. Yeah, that's my ex-boyfriend. Yeah. Nice. Okay, so did he get you the gig? He works the door.

I got him the job. He works the front door. I work the venue door. Oh, the venue door. I got you. Yeah. Okay. So you're just, you're more so checking credentials.

Yeah. Yeah. Just scanning tickets and stuff. Not to say you can't. do security and that's that's yeah there's this is not sexist at all a little bit a little bit I've held I've held down a lot of bars by myself I've closed a lot of bars by myself so I don't doubt that I don't doubt you're a badass you carry a piece with you I have like a stupid little cop gun but it's my sisters oh I was talking about something to smoke the trees with never mind um

all right what happened with your ex-boyfriend I'm curious about that because you seem like a very pleasant nice gal. I don't know. We still hang out. There's a prairie dog in here. Classic Midwest misdirection right there. Bringing up a prairie dog when she starts feeling her emotions. That was a book right out of Charlie Barron's.

That was a page out of Charlie Barron's book. That wasn't a book out of Charlie Barron's. That's how I picked up on it. You went for the prairie dog. I would recommend choosing a different animal. We're not going to, we've got to figure out what. So you guys are dating, but you're not anymore. Yeah.

You still. No, we're not dating. We're not dating at all. But you're seeing each other. You're talking. We're just, we're just hanging out. He's in his hoe phase. He's in his hoe phase.

So are you, are you approving of that phase? Um, yeah. I mean, he, he just moved to Denver. Like, it's, it's, it's. got a it's it's rough out here though i'll tell you everyone knows that though wait a second so he he just i don't think anyone knows that were you guys long distance no you got to give us more details yeah because you said he just moved to denver you're in denver yeah so then he became your boyfriend but now he's your ex-boyfriend that you just still

hook up with yeah okay yeah i don't know it's like I feel like boys in Denver are just I mean it's kind of common knowledge like they're they just want to hang out with their dogs and like so why'd you break up because he wanted to see other people or what um it was a little more intense than that oh you you walked in on them seeing other people no no it was like it's like okay so I've run into this a couple times in Denver. It's like a lot of men that just want to hang out with their family and like their moms. Wow.

Again, I don't, you got to keep going. I'm not sure where you're going with us. This guy's got a weird relationship with his mom. Take us down the prairie dog hole. There have been too recently actually where like they, one was like I don't have time for this because I got to hang out with my family all the time. And the other one was like anytime you would like get into any sort of conflict, he would just call his mom and his mom would like tell him that he was right. You know how to pick him. Yeah, apparently.

So, yeah, it's some validation over that, I guess, would be nice. but like I'm just like I don't know all these boys these Peter Pan boys Peter Pan's I don't know what they need as I'm sitting here behind a blue struce on a hillside yeah I mean you could try and channel that to be grumpy just think about how much you hate that yeah it's like the water boy technique just picture the the your guys your guys is mom's face on everyone you talk to, you bet you'll be pretty grumpy. I'm down to have a relationship with your mom,

but it's like... So you swim both ways then? I feel like, does it have to, does it have to like be the... I don't want to be compared to someone's mom when I'm dating them. Do you look like their moms? No.

Okay. So are you jealous of their moms that they're getting so much emotional connection with your guys? No. Like, I'm just like, I'm just like, do you want to like hang out with me also? Like, yeah, maybe their moms are meeting more of their needs. Yeah, just validating the way they were as teenage boys.

Wow, there it is. There's the Beth. That's what we're talking about. That's what we like to hear right there. You see? You thought this was a useless conversation. Miles and I were simply figuring out where the Beth and the Bethany was. And now we know the Beth is in there.

Beth is in there. Yeah. What do you really want to say to your situation ship right now? I mean, I think I already said everything I can say about Denver boys. It's like if you want to date your mom or you want to date your dog, that's fine. If you want to date a woman, they're out there. They're going to say they're bisexual and they will be. Okay. So you are, you're swinging both ways. Yeah. We'll go the other way then. See how that works out for you. Oh, yeah. No? You've tried that. You've tried that? What's your percentage? Are you like 4060 in favor of men or 4060 in favor of woman? 50-50. What's your split? I say I'm pretty 50-50. Okay. But yeah, it, it, it,

It depends. And I got a question for you and you can, you don't necessarily have to answer, but what's it like to be bisexual? Sorry, I stepped on it. What's it like to be a bisexual? Yeah, like, so you're like walking in a bar and you're like, I could just hook up with anyone here. That's the most dad at a bar question you can pass with. So what's it like being one of them bisexual? Like a little bit, you know?

Yeah. Um, I mean, you definitely, women are obviously a lot harder. to build trust with. Yeah, I mean, a lot of the old school like, bitch lesbians, like, they don't want to deal with someone who's flaky. Okay, so you're saying, your words, and I'm mind the butch lesbians,

they're less likely to want to date a bisexual woman, is what you're saying? Not less likely, just like, they're going to be more hesitant. Like, they don't, like, No one wants to train like a baby gay. Ah, okay. Oh, wow.

I've never heard of phrase like that before. At a certain age, it's like you can't train a baby gay. It's like a little exhausting, like how to act and be confidence. What's the best way for a woman to hit on another woman in the bar? Asking for all the baby gays out there listening. talk about just try and find like their nerd interests like obviously plants or like

movies or whatever like weird stuff that they're into I mean they're always they're also always building something like my lesbians built their own wedding stage one of my clients she built she built her own

stage that they got married on That's awesome. I guess I didn't know that about the lesbian community. They're just such builders. Yeah. Yeah, they're always making something. Butch the builder. And the ones in Denver have at least three dogs.

Three dogs. Two to three. Would you say you're... I like how you said my lesbians. Do you have a group of lesbians that are yours or... Yeah, somewhat. I mean, I used to work at this brewery that was lesbian-owned. And so there's a lot of lesbians in the craft beer community.

There's a lot of lesbians in the craft beer community in Denver. Yeah, I believe it. That did not surprise me. So would you consider yourself a baby gay then? No, God. I went to a women's college. Ah, you've been around that block. Is that when you found out that you were bisexual?

Was that women's college? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It wasn't Christian college. I tell you that, yeah. So you didn't know until you went to college or you kind of knew and that's why you went to that college? I went to that college because it was cheap and free and away from men. So why at 18 years old were you trying to get away from men? Because I grew up in rural Texas.

Enough said. Yeah, like very evangelical Christian, very sexist. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. I'll cry. I'll cry. So you were just like in the dorms and, and, you know, you're just like, let's do this thing.

You know, you're at like one of the, you're at one of like the R.A. The, right, the RAs, the resident, whatever in the dorm. Yeah. The RAs were doing like ice breakers first week of college. and you just like, hey, this gal's hitting on me. I'm just going to try it out. Is that how it happened? It was more like flirting, just a lot of flirting.

Like I never had like a real girlfriend. I just had like very serious crutches. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but we had, what was it called? Lugs. That's what we called it. Lesbian until graduation.

That's what we called it. Lugs. Lugs. Lugs. why why would you call them that you're like we know you are we know you are but you just don't know you are yet yeah yeah it was like it was it was a women's college and it was like rural missouri so there were literally no men so like there was always so they they're straight but they're lesbians until they graduate yeah yeah they're lesbians until graduation because we

have to drive to like i think fort scott is a town Yeah, you're like in a prison situation there. Yeah, and then you were going to get roofied, and then it was going to be like some rednecks from Kansas that you had to hang out with. Like, I'd rather just hang out with these European students or whatever. Wow. Europeans at your free college. That's cool.

Yeah. Republic of Georgia. All right. Wow. This is not where I thought this call was going, but I'm glad we got here. Why do you want to be more of a bath again? Yeah, like I've missed that like grumpy little badass that just put herself through college and. Well, it was free.

Yeah, but I saw it support myself. It wasn't totally free either. Okay. Sorry, just trying to get the facts right. That grew up on a goat ranch and built forts. And I miss. I miss that girl for sure. All right, well, I see what we're talking about here.

Let me ask you this. Just dream with me for a second. It's your wedding day. You're standing on the altar. Did you build the altar? Yeah, oh, 100%. And I stained it. Okay.

Well, stop playing around with these Peter Pans and start looking for a Wendy. Yeah. I think we figured it out here, all right? I'm a red head. Oh, shit. Well, you didn't say that, but. That's it. That's it. That's why... Two red-headed women? I guess I know one.

Well, no, some people, first of all, redheads are great, you know? Ginger's are a special breed, you know? Yeah, I know. I got three sisters. Are they all redheads? Two of them are. Okay. Lucky gals. So I think Charlie's just saying You should stop going for guys and just

Lean into the girls. Is that what Charlie's trying to say here? Okay. All right. Beth, let's put it out there. Let's build your dating profile. What kind of gal are you looking for? I can go,

I can go femme or much, honestly. Okay. Open minded. Okay. And I guess someone who wants to build a tree fort back here with me right now. Yeah. Okay. So you're looking for guys. Someone knows their way around a leg bolt, huh?

No. It just basically, okay, so just basically anyone who like knows how to do anything would be cool. Okay. So if I'm getting this right, if there are any women listening to this podcast who are lesbian in the Denver area, Beth is looking to date you as long as you can you have a pulse and you can do anything as long as you can do something

that's interesting. Bonus if you like ginger's. Oh, they do all of them do. Wow, so you're pretty popular. What's your, what's your number on the ladies? Like my body count?

Yeah. That's a crazy question. What? Is that rude? Not that high. I don't know. It's just like, would you like it if she asked you what your body count was? Are you going to answer that?

She doesn't have to answer. She doesn't have to answer. I mean, she's, you know, she's a caller. She doesn't have any identifying information, you know, other than redheaded Beth out there in Denver. Yeah, that's a lot of information. A lot of people know exactly who that is. Oh, all right. Well, disregard.

That's, sorry, that was inappropriate. I'm just trying to. I've barredsoned here for 10 years. Which bar? I worked at Alma Draft House for a while. You guys probably won't know. Yeah, we don't know it. Well, we're trying, what we're trying to do is try to get the love of your life to come visit you.

Order a slippery nipple. They know where I. Okay. They know where that dive bar on South Broadway is. Is this a lesbian bar? No, no. It can be pretty queer sometimes, but. Is there like lesbian night?

Like there's a bar in Fargo that it's like definitely like this is when all of the gay people go to this bar on this specific night. Okay. Is that a thing where you guys are at? They have designated gay bars there. I'm pretty sure. yeah we have we have designated gay bars it's just like x bar is like more of like

the lesbian bar and then I don't know there's there's plenty of option I should probably go to x bar more yeah no we figured that do the ladies like it when you come across more bubbly and whatever they like it when you come across more like

Beth do the ladies like Bethany or Beth more God there's a lot of people that would roast me on that one. Probably Beth. Okay. I see what we're doing here. I see what we're doing. We're all whittling us down to get Beth her gal. And that's why she wants to be more Beth. She needs to bring that Beth energy to get her Trish.

So. Trish is. Okay. Tammy? No. I mean, Beth, you told us you'd just take anyone with a pulse at this point. I do say that. I said the opposite of that. words.

I said it was more like someone who wants to be alive and like enjoy life and is not just like chasing whatever capitalism wants them to chase and like I don't know. That's the most lesbian debt for response to that. It was pretty. Yeah, I feel disgusting. after saying was pretty lesbian Denver it does sound like you're standing next

to a blue spruce right now which is fine it's good to know what you want you're sitting okay I'm throwing sticks all right Beth well I don't know if we helped you at all we tried though probably we tried we tried so hard

you didn't help me You ever dated a guy and you're like, kind of like his mom more? No. Okay. Just curious. I just didn't know if there was, that would be a great,

like the lesbian graduate, you know, would be great. You ever seen the graduate? No, no, but I have thought about this. Like,

like what would happen if that ever happened to me? I was like, actually your mom is kind of cool. because I've definitely been hit on by people's moms and I've just like ignored it. Nice. How do they hit on you? They're just like, wow. You know, like, you're just so interesting and so independent.

And I'm like, okay, this is weird. Like, you're clearly trapped in this marriage. I can't help you. Well, you could. Yeah. Well, this is fun. I think you're going to find the love of your life from this podcast. We have a very large lesbian listenership.

Actually, I don't have any analytics on that, Charlie. I have no idea how many lesbians listen to our podcast. I've pulled them. I've pulled the analytics. We're pretty good in Denver. Okay. Yeah. Cool.

There's a lot of lesbians. I know one. I actually know a couple. Oh, God. homesuckers. What are you doing now? No, I'm just looking at walking through all these branches. Beth, we hope you find someone to build a treehouse with.

Thank you. And we wish you best of luck with that out there in Denver. Where can people, which bar can people find? Oh, yeah, we already know. The one over South Broadway. Yeah. Yeah, the one on South Broadway. Just look for the red.

no it was helpful i didn't think i was going to get roasted on my love life but i can take it right now we didn't roast them roast you we were just we're friends we're and i was actually very i i felt like i was being very curious and not my not making fun of it i was actually genuinely curious about how what's your life like yeah i mean we might have been like invading privacy but it was all. Charlie's the one that asked what your body count was. Well, that was,

I guess in retrospect, is that disrespectful? You can be honest with me, Beth. Any? Oh, no. Do you like how I ask

for Bethany's response and not Beth's response? All right. Thank you. Well, we are praying for you that you will find your lover out there.

All right? Thank you. I can feel it. Good. Good, good. Well, you be good, okay? Yeah, you too.

All right. We'll talk to you soon now, Beth. Sometimes I black out during calls, Miles. I can't be how responsible. No, you're good. I can't. I asked her what it's like to be bisexual. So I think.

But I feel like that's a genuinely... That's a genuine far-go question. That was an actual question. Like, you know? Yeah. Why can't you ask someone what it's like? I don't think there's any reason not to, Miles. If someone who was gay asked me what it's like to be straight,

I wouldn't take offense to that at all. No, you wouldn't know how to answer the question. Just like she didn't know to answer the question. You'd give them a straight answer. Yeah, I would. It would give them the straightest answer possible. Jared, sometimes I think Jared should just take my job. We should just reverse it one episode and let Jared sit here.

And I'll, I'll, yeah, you don't want to trust me with electronics. We should do one caller with Jared actively in the call. Yeah, we should do it. We can do that at the end of this. Let's do that. All right. Well, is that this week's episode, Miles? That's this week's episode.

Folks, it's been real fun. You've got to get over here to Maddie's Bar and Grill over in New Berlin, Wisconsin. Come on over, have yourself an old-fashioned. They got the Barron's old-fashioned brandy, not to brag, not to flex. All right, well, we'll see you the next one, guys. Tip your bartender, too. Okay, I hope you guys have a good one.

Goodbye now. Oodaloo.