Bellied Up - The Untold Truth About School Bus Drivers #143

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

The first caller (10:03) is a professional maid in Buffalo, NY, who thinks one of her clients might be a swinger. The next caller (32:32) is a school bus driver in Indiana, who tells us what irks him as a driver and shares his 'goofy' living situation. Finally, we listen to a voicemail from a guy who loves this Midwest phrase.Leave us a Voicemail! 218-303-5095

All right, folks, welcome back to another episode of the bellied up podcast. I'm here with Charlie. We're at dr. Jekyll's miles. Are you the dr. Jekyll or the mr. Hyde in this relationship? You tell me. Well, it's a trick question because dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde live in all of us. So we're both dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde. Very poetic. Yes. Two sides of the coin miles Miles. Two personalities. So we all have a little bit of schizophrenia, is what you're saying. Well, that's a charged term these days, Miles.

Really? I don't really know. Anyways, we're here at Dr. Jekyll's really cool bar here in Appleton, Wisconsin, right off of Cal and Jav. You know what I like about this bar, Charlie? You don't see a lot. All the walls are painted like a reddish orange. I like that. I like that too. We're living in a world where all the bar walls are painted gray and, and all that stuff.

Yeah. Places like a bold color choice. I like it. I like, I like that someone like there was, there was a barn that they, they were like, Oh, we bought this extra paint for the barn. What are we going to do for it? Go paint Dr. Jekyll's. Yeah. You know? And then they found some green paint too. The green trim. I mean, this is a bold S and it's not a Christmas bar. It doesn't feel Christmasy at all. No, it feels like it's always been here. Oh miles. Look, look, there's two angels, you know? Is that one smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer? Those are the fallen angels.

All right, Myles, if we were those angels, which one would you be, which one would I be? I think I'd be the one on the left. You'd be the thinking one? Yeah. And you look, and you're the one on the right that looks more drunk and depressed. See, I saw myself as a thinking one, but let's do it right now.

Let's do it. Do the thinking. All right. All right. Now take a screenshot of that and then and then we'll we'll sell playing cards. We should do like a whole thing miles where we take like art like that, you know, and we just replace ourselves in the art, you know, and just sell that as T-shirts. And you, if the, I don't know, it's like the, the two Iowa farmers are holding the pitch fork. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would be great. I'll be the guy holding the pitch fork or your, um, the Donatello or the Michelangelo, you know, with your Willie out there. And I'm just like holding my hand up, you know, so no one can see it. Yeah. You know, I don't

know. That's a little weird, but anyways, you get it. It'd be fun. You working on your standup right now or I'm riffing some things miles. I actually was thinking the other day, Charlie, you were thinking, yeah, the other day you were called me. I think you, I think we should spice up your standup routine. A little nip at my standup. And I'm just going to throw some stuff out there for you. Throw it out. You can accept it or, or you can reject it. Yes. It's the spit balling sessions. Like when you go over to someone's garage and say, Hey, you want that box of stuff over there? I'm like, what's in the box? Yeah. I think you need some more pyro techniques at your show. Nothing. Nothing will engage an audience like a ball of fire, sparks, you know, explosive things that will awaken their primal being of being in danger. And then they are laser focused in on what you're saying.

They're going to. Yeah, no, I like it. Now, knowing how much of a cheap bastard I am, you know, I'm probably just going to stop at the fireworks stand and get a bunch of sparklers, line them up around the stage. Probably set some, set off a fire alarm. Cause that, that that's expensive miles to get pyrotechnics. Yeah. But now you can get the ones that are like fake pyrotechnics that you just like plug into the wall and they shoot like these fake sparks that like you can put your hand over. Oh really? Yeah. That's, that's as lame as a plugin. Okay. Well, if you're going to be a cheap ass, well, I mean, I mean, I'm trying to use, you said, I guess that's true. You're just offering me solutions. Well, I liked that miles. Thank you. Hey, here's a question. When are we going to do the bellied up live?

Well, hold on. I got way more advice for you. Okay. Yeah, let's hear it. Let's hear it. So I try that. Um, I also like to see what something great that happens in a concert is when, uh, they finish a song, they kind of disappear from the stage and then they pop out somewhere random in the crowd and do a song there. You should do that where you disappear and then you pop up in the nosebleeds and do a joke from up there. Miles, great idea. And hate to tell you in my first tour, I did that where I would play a video and then I would go to the last seat of the thing. I say, yeah, that was okay.

Here's the problem with doing that is you then have to get back on stage, get back on stage. And sometimes it's a long time and no one can see you. The thing about the stage is everyone can see you. The thing about up there, unless they have a Meg, a Meg Tron, an IMAG, like where they have a video guy, you know, that could be fun. Another idea is I think you should do the Midwest goodbye with a joke. What do you mean? Hear me out. OK, so you start your special, start your show with a start of a joke. And then while starting that joke, you then get sidetracked and talk about another thing, then go back and continue on the original joke you started with. And

you just do this over and over again. And the final punchline is the joke you started at the beginning of the show. That's a good idea. It took you three, but that is, there we go. I like that structurally. Yeah. I get a little aroused for structure miles. Structure guy. That's a, that's a fun. You always got an easy transition. Oh, well I suppose, you know, and then maybe you like you start your, your show on one side of the stage And every time you do a joke, you just do one step closer to the other side of the stage That sounds way better on paper On stage you start walking around you're like, ah fuck I gotta go back to that spot

you got you gotta like get out there and You know your audience they're not guaranteed to listen to you or like you every night you got to go out there and just get on your knees and Beg them really yeah, okay You know yeah, that was a couple of thoughts I had for you, so just take them and leave them Well, I like to thoughts miles, and I got thought for you And that's that we should do a live bellied up now I know that you have a wife and a child and no interest in ever leaving your house

ever, but I do think, I do think, you know, we should. Oh, you're speaking like a true guy with no kids. I tell you. Oh, I know. I do have no kids. I have zero responsibilities whatsoever, but I think for one weekend, we could go to Chicago, we could go to Nashville, we could go to Milwaukee, Minneapolis, you name the city, and-

Fargo. Fargo. Shocker. We could do the Fargo Theater, but I think we start small. We start a little club, you know, and kind of do a bellied up live We smart start a little club, you know, and kind of do a bellied up live where people in the audience, imagine it. They come in. We got like a little submission for questions on the screen. We just tell you where to text your questions

to them. Yeah. We bring people up. We open the doors like an hour early. Yeah. Everyone gets some cocktails. They can tailgate. Yeah. early. Yeah. Everyone gets some cocktails. They can tailgate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then they can submit their questions and then you and I, well, everyone's having fun. You and I are in the back just grinding, trying to find good questions. Yeah. We're always grinding like right here at the bar. We are just grinding. Yeah. And then we have people actually belly up to the bar on stage. We have, we bring a bar up there and they come on up and we talk out there, do you a bellied up live? I think it's got potential. I do too. All right guys, if you think it has potential, you got to DM miles because I've been pitching this idea to him for two years now and he

hasn't done it. So flood his DMS. Don't act like I'm the only one that's you, you could have also put in some effort. I'm down. I'm down. I'm the ideas guy. You're the effort guy. Okay. So it's basically guy get to a point where you're like, all right, this is a great idea. And then you have motivation to book it because all right, or you just give me a date that you can do it and I can book it. Shit. I can book it. I book all these other shows somehow, you know? Yeah. Somehow I book should write that book. Somehow I book. That's a book. Anyways, miles, you think we should

take a call? Yeah. I mean, if you guys are interested in us doing a bellied up live show where we take in-person callers or actually people are billing up to the bar. Let us know. DM bellied up DM Charlie. Yeah. And if you guys have some, you won't buy a seller trade, bring that vision. We'll do like a dude. That would be awesome. That's like, that's what gets me going. The most is like a little antiques road show, you know, like that should get the people going and antiques road show. Oh God. I could sit there and watch antiques road show all day. I love old shit. You know? Well, should we take some collars? I don't know why we wouldn't Sarah. Good to meet you. You got Charlie and miles here and folks we have Sarah from Buffalo, New York. She says that Buffalo is nowhere near New York city. So don't even loop me in with those assholes. Wow. You sound like you're

from New York city though. Yeah. Well, Hey, I mean, you guys are calling me super late, so I gotta ask, which one of you showed up late today? Oh, damn, damn, is that true? Is that true? Yeah. I was late. You were supposed to call me an hour and a half ago. What? I think, no.

Time zone difference. You got the time zone wrong, Darren. We're in the central time zone. We're only a half hour late. What time did we say we were going to come? Oh, it's still late. Which one was it? Charlie? It was Charlie.

I was late for sure, but you know, I think that's on our scheduler because they should have booked in the Charlie late time. You know? We do. They should have. We do. Oh, I texted to say I was going to be late. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I apologize. That's okay. Don't be sorry. Yeah, this is off to a great start. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. Don't be sorry. Yeah. I'm not really, but I'm saying it. So that's. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. For sure. So Sarah, I hear you have a cleaning business and you're wondering if one of your clients is just Midwest nice or a full on swinger.

Yeah, I'm not really sure. You know, Catholic nice or swinger. I don't really know what's going on. And I could use your guys's advice to try to figure it out. Well, let's get a little backstory. What's been going on with said client that's maybe making you feel a little bit weird. All right. So just a little backstory. I don't know if this will be relevant or not, but maybe it is. So we'll start with, I used to work for a cleaning business and that's where I had found her through and we would go with, you know, groups of people. So it was never just me. And then a year ago, I decided to leave the company and open up my own business. And she ended up texting me, reaching out saying like, Oh, I just, you

know, I really like you and stuff. I'll, I'll cancel with the business. If, if you come and just clean for me, like on your own. So I was like, okay, yeah, like I get that. Like you want to trust who's in your house and whatnot. So I didn't really like think anything of it. And then starting to go on my own, I just like started noticing real things that were like, I don't know if she's being nice or if she's trying to like get

me to be with her. Nice. Let's get those details. So what kind of stuff is she doing? Nothing like too crazy, but like the first thing I noticed was like the one time I was like, oh, you know, like I'm all set, like I'm gonna be leaving. And then we were just like having a conversation and we were standing in her hallway and she just kept like leaning in closer and closer to me, like staring into my eyes.

I don't even remember the conversation. All I can remember is just her staring into my soul. So I was like, this, this is crazy. And then I just kind of shrugged it off, whatever. And then she started inviting me to her house for these like parties. I don't, I don't even know if she just would send me like an E E invite through a text message like to come have a party at her house. And like, I, I don't want to go. So I would be making up excuses. Like, you know, I got something to do that day or whatever. And then this is funny because literally two days ago she just sent me another invite to come

to a party to her house. Oh, you got to go to that. Well, so hold on. Yeah. Is the invite pineapple themed? It's not pineapple theme, but it says clothing swap, bring some clothes to swap and a dish to pass. Wait, wait, wait, wait. A dish to pass and clothing to swap. This is freaking. Yeah. Now we're cooking with gas. You're going to this party. I hate to tell you. I would bring a casserole, light casserole. Yeah. Something light, you know, maybe even a soup of some sort. Yeah. Just in case it's

wet and wild is she hot. Yeah is a person attractive one to ten I would say whoa, let's go All right back up the truck she's got a lot of kids. Is she married? Are the kids living in the house? Yeah. She's got a lot of kids. They all live in the house, but when she has these parties, the kids aren't home. That's what she sends them all away. Yeah. And she does. I will say she does have a husband, but I never really interact with the husband. He's usually at work or like a couple of times that he has been there. It's always just like, hi, how you doing? And then like he goes out on about his way. Yeah. Like just her.

Have you ever been, have you ever been cleaning anything at this house and you like turn around? She's just standing in the doorway. Yeah. So sometimes she'll like trap me in the bathroom. Like I'll be in one of the bathrooms, like in the shower, scrubbing it. And she'll just come in there and to start like talking to me. And like, she was trying to show me stuff on her phone the other day of like, she's like, Oh, look at, I just went on vacation here. Look at how beautiful it was. And then like every picture she swiped through is just her, like in a bathing suit in a pool and everything. I mean, that is what you do on vacation. No doubt. You know, no, let me ask you this.

What percentage lesbian are you? Zero. That's the thing. I like I don't zero zero like zero zero. Damn bummer. Well, they say don't knock until you try it either though. So yeah. Have you ever opened yourself up to the experience? Absolutely not. All right. No further questions. I will say that you guys will probably think that this is also funny. One thing that she just recently did as well. It's winter time, so obviously it's super cold. Your hands get dry and everything. And she comes up to me and she goes, Oh, she goes, my hands are so

dry. Let me see yours. What lotion do you use? And she grabs my hands. And she's like feeling the tops of them. And she's like, Oh, they're so soft. She goes, feel, feel mine right here. They're so dry. I don't know what to do. And then I'm like, I don't know. I just use a gold bond motion. Like give it a try. And then I walk away and she goes, wait, wait, wait. She goes, come here. She goes, your hands are so small. And she grabs my hand and puts our hands together. Like, look at, look at how small your hands are compared to mine. Like a water. Wow. Should be one of this, but she won't offer me a glass of water. She won't offer you water. I bet if you ask her water, that's because she wants

you to be thirsty, you know, just like her. Yeah, absolutely. It's a good one. Miles. Wouldn't it be funny, Charlie? If we, she finds out or like she goes there and like, God, this place is clean. I was here a week ago, but it seems like no one's been living in it. And it turns out she just has like seven cleaning ladies that she's trying to get to these parties every day of the week. She's just got a cleaning lady thing. Hey, let me, what's your story then? Are you together married kids? Oh yeah. I'm married and I have a kid happily married. Yeah. Okay. Cool. So are you and your husband invited to these parties? No, just me. Oh, man. You just gotta go. You can always bail. No, I could always bail. And see the trick is it's getting harder to come up with excuses not to go because she makes the parties for the

day that I go clean her house. So it's not even like I could say, Oh, I'm out of town that day because I'm literally there a couple hours before cleaning her house. This that is actually smart. It's like Michael Scott says they have to work late and then they didn't actually have to work late. And then he cancels them working late. It was like, you want to have dinner? You said you didn't have plans. Oh, man. This is a typical scenario where if it was a guy,

it would be creepy. But since it's a girl, we're just having a lot of fun with it. Yeah. Are you creeped out? Are you uncomfortable? I mean, clearly she hasn't dropped her as a client. I'm not uncomfortable. Does she pay good?

She does pay good and she's gotten me a lot of other clients. So I can't really complain about that. Yeah. I mean, I would just, what does your husband say? He at first thought that it was hilarious and he thinks that it's funny. And now he's like starting to bag on me like, Oh, you're going to leave me for her. You're going to, you're going to be a lesbian.

And now he's starting to get mad about it. Now he's getting jealous. Isn't it? Doesn't kind of feel good that he's feeling a little jealous about it though. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. What? So what I got a hot commodity. Your next excuse for this parties. I think you need to point Blake, ask her like, well, why doesn't, why isn't my husband getting invite? You know, I could ask her that be like, Hey, we were going to maybe do some of that night. We, we maybe would both like to come. Can we both come or just tell her that he's coming and see what she says. Be like, Oh yeah, me, me and him will be there. And then, uh, see what her reaction is to that. Maybe you should, uh, maybe you should try this tactile. Just maybe start doing like

some disgusting stuff while you're there. Like next time she's talking to you, next time she's talking to you real close, Just rip a huge fart. Yeah, just everywhere farting, you know, what else you got? She doesn't like the farting idea. I like that idea though. That could, that could work. She, I'm getting, she do, I'm getting the swinger vibes for sure. Yeah, that's, that's what I was thinking too. Why you know, I think the big red flag for me when I knew it wasn't Midwest nice, Charlie is Midwesterners don't like to touch each other.

No, as soon as she started feeling up your hands, that's where the Midwest nice just goes out the window. And also in the Midwest, we're making eye contact, but it's like, you know, I did it. I'm done. Okay. I did it to show you that I was raised right, but then after that, I'm staring at some mouse, I'm staring at your nose or something,

because it gets uncomfortable, it gets too emotional. But when she's staring at your soul, it lets me leave and question and everything, just staring into my soul for like 15 minutes. Wait, what do you mean questioning everything? No, no, not like that. Still at zero percent? No, still 0%. I don't know if it is though.

I'm gonna be honest with you, because for these reasons, one, you said she was innate. Now if you were 0%, you'd be like, I have no idea how attractive this woman is. Also- Oh, that's not true. I feel like anyone can admire a beautiful woman and not have any intention

for their suck it. Really? Okay. Can your husband, I do think so. Yeah. Oh, that was less hesitant. Yes. But still, yes, we'll take it. I think you got to go to one party. I mostly because you've piqued Charlie and I's curiosity. Can you don't view it as you're going to this party and it could potentially be a swinger's party. View it as you're doing research for our podcast. Yeah, we'll pay. Yeah. What's she paying? What's she paying you? We'll pay 200 a week, but that's for the whole house. Yeah. We'll go. We'll go bathroom. We'll go master. Swede master. Bathroom rate. 75 bucks. Oh no. It's gotta be the full thing. Oh, all right. Fine. I'll pay you $200. Go to the party actually. And I should also say

if something happens during that party, that is weird. It was miles who paid them. Yeah. I was a Charlie. If this is a weird scenario, you just paid her to go to this sex party. Yeah. I don't know if I'd go that route. Yeah. This has gotta be a pro bono pro boner situation. I know you just go try it out and just run out if I have to. That's what I'm saying. Have your husband kind of like stake out the place. He can park a couple of houses down and you can. There's a golf course right across the street. He could hide in the bushes. Yeah. Well then that's now you guys are the creepy ones.

That's a different level of kink right there. And that's actually illegal. Now I will also say there's his name, Tom. There's no way your husband's going to let you go to this party. Oh no, I know he's not. There's no way. Bring them with, bring them with them. See what happens. Yeah. Cause he's going to, he sounds like a guy. It's not going to let any funny business happen anyways, but you gotta at least see what's going on at these parties. That's fair. I guess I should maybe. Here's, here's what you got to do with it. She's holding these parties on the same day that you're cleaning. Just take really long one day that kind of bleeds into the party a little bit and just see the people that are showing up. If they got Hawaiian shirts, I'm wondering too, like what other

kind of people are showing up to this? Like I'm not in her little friend group like that. I don't know who's coming. It's just her. She's like, Oh, everyone else canceled. I like that shirt you're wearing. There we go. Charlie, you, you ask if say you have a doctor's appointment when you normally do that day and you need to come a little later on a day that she has a party. So then you're not like, I'm not going to the party. I'm just doing my job. I just had a doctor's appointment this morning. So I had to push it a little later. I think you just solved it. I think that's the way to go. Cause then you can get a little, a little taste without cause now you're not at the party. You're the help

at the party. You're cleaning up the party. There we go. Absolutely. All right. Last question. Last question. All right. What else do you got? I want to know if you've ever found anything cleaning? Yeah. Oh, I knew you guys were going to ask. Come on. Um, so there's been a couple like weird situations. I think one of the weirdest one was when I had worked for the company and we had went to this apartment and they were very unattractive, weird people. And we went into the bedroom and they had like a camera facing at the bed. And then you looked and there's like all these like bondage straps and stuff like that on

the bed. And then she's got like all of her toys on the side and stuff. And they're just not so long. They're like, don't even think anything of it. So then we're freaked out. We're like, this is weird. Like she put that stuff away when we're coming. So we had went back and we were trying to tell the boss and she's like this middle-aged Chinese lady that doesn't really know anything. So we're like trying to explain to her and she's not, Oh, hang on. Let me, let me see you there. She doesn't know. She

knows a lot, but perhaps not. Right. Well, she, she picks up the phone and she calls these people and says, you gotta put your toys away before, before they come in clean. Otherwise they're not coming. And it's just like, now you're sending us back after saying that. So then we had went back and they had put it away. But then the time after it was all right back out again. So I don't even know. Yeah.

But if you found any light thing like that in the swingers house. No, I have not. Hmm. That's interesting. I don't open any drawers or anything like that, but there's nothing laying around. She just kind of has it like very like modern, like little things everywhere, but kind of like, uh, yeah, like a American psycho type of style. Yeah. She's yeah.

I think you accidentally open up a cupboard and just plastic wrap just comes flying out. Not because they're murdering anyone but all the bodily fluids. Charlie. Oh absolutely. Yeah. Wild. Are there any pictures of her with Diddy around? Not that I can confirm. All right. Well, you know, it's nothing that weird then Right that weird Well, I'm on a questions miles you know, I think you nailed it I think you got to just go to one of these parties and report back. We just we gotta know what's going on at these parties It's next week. Okay, all right week. It's next week. Okay. All right. Next week. Yeah. It was bad. It was miles his idea. Have your eyes been to your idea. No, you can't pin

this on me. I just legally said it's miles idea for any lawyers watching this post post step. You're not, there's nothing going to be be she's not like kill serial killer. What if it's like I told no No, not a serial killer totally normal party That she has the time of her life at it's just this whole time. You've been denying great parties Or what if this is totally normal party, and I'm the weird one for thinking otherwise, correct? Yeah Maybe you aren't as zero% lesbian as you thought. Oh, I am. Well, we thank you for calling in and sharing this with us. It was, it was fun to spill the tea with you at the bar.

Thank you guys. And Charlie, I got a bone to pick with you real quick. Oh shit. Just super quick. Judging by my quick little Google search, you haven't been to Buffalo, New York since 2022. And I want to know what's up with that. Do you not like us? No, I love Buffalo. I do. I was just up in Rochester. I did Sarah. I haven't been to Syracuse. I got to get back up there. Yeah, I think so too. You'll probably forget. So whoever does your bookings, you know, book Charlie somewhere near Buffalo, New York.

I was just in Albany, which isn't Buffalo. That's too far from me. I know. you're right I do have to get back up there cuz that was a freaking awesome time and I think we did two shows there Hey, he'll book a show in Buffalo if you bring your client to the show as well I got all the crowd work bits for her. Yeah. You've already done a Midwest swingers. There's already been swingers at your show. Yeah. I did have swingers at my show. That was wild, man. They were not. They were shameless. When Charlie comes to Buffalo, not all attend one

of these parties. That's a pretty good. That's a fair deal. I'll be the plus one. I'll go there. I'll suss it out. All right. That's fair. Charlie has swingers play and I'm not into that stuff either. I just, I just kind of want to be a fly on the wall. Maybe let's go with your first one where like if I go there, then you go to the party and you go to the first one. Let me know what it is and then I'll consider the second one. Yeah. It could be a good after party. Yeah. After the show. Yeah. All right. Well thank you for calling in. This was super fun. Tell your husband we say hey. I said hey and you guys tell your folks I said hi. All right. We will do that. We will do that. Stay safe out there. Happy cleaning. You guys do. Thank you. All right. See will do that. We will do that. Stay safe out there. Happy cleaning

You guys do. Thank you. All right I Gotta know It's gonna eat me up inside. I think I already know I'm gonna go home and I'll be thinking about you know Are they swingers? Are they not kind of like? Like a detective that can't solve a case. I'm just going to consume my whole life. Yeah, you little Sherlock Holmes over here. But I think evidence is leading. But it's always never the person you most suspect.

No, it's always the person you most medium suspect. Yeah, I feel like swingers would be just, that's a lot of work. You know, that's a lot of work. You know, that's a lot of maintain that many relationships. Oh my God. My God. I can't. I'm, I'm a one relationship kind of guy.

Just can you imagine, you know, trying to focus on doing your thing and then you're also having to appease all these other people in the room. There's like people watching. It's like I'm sitting there just thinking of baseball trying to make it longer than 30 seconds. And now you throw in the aspect, you got other people watching me and wanting something from you got an audience. Yeah. Now you don't even have your bad anymore. No. Yeah. Sounds like a nightmare scenario. Yeah. So well, we see me see. We wish it was

kind of lotion. Do you use on your hands? Oh, thanks for asking. Oh, this is your hands are big home. Oh my God. You know what they say about guys with big hands. Oh my God. You're kind of sweaty too. I was just holding my microphone with it. Do you want me to tell you off a little bit? Yeah. Also I'm having a party on Friday. You want to come? Can you touch me on the shoulder like that again? Oh yeah. Oh God, this is getting weird. Take another caller. Yeah. Hi, is this school bus driver? Yes it is. You got miles and Charlie from the bellied up podcast. How are you? Oh, I'm living the dream. How about yourself? Same bellied up to the bar. We can't complain. So we dive into it. Charles let's dive into it. All right.

Sounds like you fellas are having more fun than me today. Oh yeah. So guys, we have a school bus driver on the line from the Midwest and he wants to one talk about how exhausting it is to drive a bus in the Midwest. And number two, his goofy living situation. So Mr. bus driver, what is so exhausting about driving a school bus? You just sit in there driving, man. Well, I don't know about you boys, but like to wave and take say good morning and everything to everybody I see Well, you know how many people you pass in a bus to begin with and then you have 60 kids walking past you and you Have to say good morning and have a good day to every one of them And half of more even say it back. I don't I don't think that these kids are learning the good Midwest values anymore

What the hell they're not even saying good morning back to you Midwest values anymore. What the hell? They're not even saying good morning back to you. Heck no. Are they on their phones? Just staring on their phones? Little robot boys. Pretty much. Heck. I don't think they know. They'd know if it crashed into a tree the way they look at their phones. Oh God, that's scary, man. So you got to like, I know it. You have to like ice your arm at the end of the day from waving at people all day long on the bus. I, I pretty much, pretty much do. Yeah. I have to go home and put ice on my shoulder from all the waves and everybody. It's an exhausting experience. Look at you. Look at him though. Holding it down. Committed to saying hello when these little shits don't

even look up from their fricking devices. You know what? They, you need, you need a Midwest dad on there to smack the phone out of their hands and say Look them in the eyes not too long, but look them in the eyes. I Agree, that's great. That'd be great What's uh, yeah, go ahead If you get a parent standing at the end of a driveway man You might take all day to get these kids home because they just want to talk all the time That's the downside of the Midwest

home because they just want to talk all the time. That's the downside of the Midwest. That's because their kids aren't talking to them. So they're like, Oh, finally, a normal human. I agree. I agree. Yeah, we're in the Midwest. Are you? Southeastern Indiana. Oh, yeah. Southeastern Indiana. All right. So yeah, you're just going down there and you're trying to wave at these kids. And then what about people who pass the bus? Are they

waving at you too or no? Well, they're not waving at me, but I'm waving at every one of them. Look at you. Look at this guy. He's just a Midwest soldier just ready to go just to spread the Midwestern this to a bunch of people. He's like a missionary, you know? Yeah. I love that. I'm thinking we must be having some Illinois people around here or something, the way you get the manners back.

I think phones make everyone fibs, is what I think. I guarantee it. So my experience with bus drivers going up is they were always yelling at us to sit down and stop doing this and stop doing that. Have you, are you, I'm going to pull this bus over type of guy or what's your approach when kids are misbehaving? Oh, I've had to pull over a time or two, but I've also learned that if you just talk to a real mean a couple of times, I think you're scary and they'll leave you alone

Well, that's that's a that's a good option there you got good relationships with any of the kids. Oh Yeah, well, I'm a I'm a sub so I'm on different routes about every different day. Oh wow Yeah, I know you're a sub bus driver now. That's interesting Yeah, cuz the substitute teacher it's tough to get respect from the kids on that. I wonder if the substitute bus driver, maybe that's playing into this. Yeah, it might be, but I know some, like I said, if you just sound like you're real mean when you get started, then you usually don't have no problem. Yeah. Nice. This guy you'd ever

meet, but you gotta, you gotta make the kids think you're made. Well, yeah, cause you gotta lay the precedent first thing. You gotta make sure there's no horsing around. What's the weirdest thing any of these kids have ever done on your school bus? I had a kid actually two days ago that we got to his house and he refused to get off the bus because he was mad that his sister got off before he did. And he started crying. The weirdest thing I ever seen. I've had kids refused to get off the bus because he was mad that his sister got off before he did. And he started crying. The weirdest thing I've ever seen. I've had kids refused

to get off at school. I mean, we can all get behind that. Come on. Who wants to go to school? But man, you're already home kid. Gosh. Yeah. You were there. My guy now the next day is going to get made fun of for crying. I agree. I agree. How'd you get them off the bus? Well, I'll say the mother came up there and she was not too happy with him. So I, I was a little, I was a little scared of making

her angry. I don't know what that kid's thinking. He was scared. You had to imagine how the kid was feeling. Oh, I know. I was the mom come up here and she was, you could tell she was mad about it. I was like, man, I, I don't want to go on the wrong side. Geez kid. I wonder what that kid did at school. Cause you know, the sister got off first. She already told her mom the thing that the kid did. That's probably why he was crying. There's probably a deeper story there. He's scared at the school called home before he made it there. That's wild, man. So, um, yeah, cause like, I don't think you can like physically remove a kid from the bus. So it's not like a bar, you know, you can't bounce them out of there. Maybe that's what we need. Maybe we just need some school bus bouncer. Yeah. Checking IDs.

Yes. Now you're thinking, um, you said in your voicemail, you got a goofy living situation. What's going on with that? Okay. So I'd say, let's say maybe three years ago, four years ago, maybe I was dating this girl and me and her, you know, got pretty serious. We moved in together and we were engaged. We were living on a farm that her parents owned and we actually ended up moving into the house that she grew up in. It's a dairy farm and me and her dad started dairy farming together. Well then, you know, flash forward another year or so. Well, she found her a new boyfriend and her dad found out and her dad told her to get out and told

me to say, so to this day I still live on the farm. She grew up in and I still, I still want cows with her dad. Hell, I talked to her dad more than he talks to her. Oh my God. You are the father son he wished he always had. He told me that once, one time, which I thought was weird because he has a son. Wow. What a deal.

What a deal. That's, that's. I mean, I got like the woman's ended in the divorce. I got to. What a deal. That's that's, I mean, I mean, I, I got like the woman's ended in the divorce. I got to keep all the stuff. That's what I was. That's what I was going to say. It's hard to pull off keeping the house, but you did it. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe, maybe I was smart. I got out of there before we filled out any paperwork. That's true. So do you ever see the girl anymore? I'll tell you what, I, uh, being a nice guy, I know her and her new boyfriend, I guess just bought a house a while back and they're wanting to fix it up. And you know, me being a nice guy, I even offered to help him out.

And her new boyfriend told me he'd rather freeze to death than have my help. So you know what? I guess that's their problem. That's a real secure boyfriend is what that is. That's what I kind of figure. So do you like, you see her at like Thanksgiving and stuff or no? Oh yeah. It definitely makes, it definitely makes her angry every time you see her over to parents house and I'm there, but that's okay. He's got like a stocking on the mantle during Christmas time and shit. Oh, oh, I do. You have a stocking on the mat. I do. I do. How long you been in this family now? Well, me and her were together. I'm trying to think probably four years ago and I think we've been broke up now at least two years. So probably four years. So,

so like you guys broke up, you guys stayed living in the house together and she found another boyfriend all while you still were living together. No, she moved out. I'm still living in the house. Got it. Got it. Got it. Why? It's the house she grew up. It's the house she grew up in as a kid. Why did you guys break up? I guess she decided this new guy was better than me. Man, you get it. Yeah.

Fine by me. You dating someone else? No. Heck. Honestly, I kind of like living alone. I don't think you're living alone, are you? You're living with their dad, right? No, they live, they live, they live at a different home, a different house. You know, I'm living in a house she grew up in. They, they moved

on to into a different house. We moved in there. Do you pay rent? No. How the hell did this work? Are you that good with the cows? I, I honestly have no idea. I somehow just forced him to my way through life. I don't know. I just started running. I just started driving for his gun. Does he drive a school bus at some point? Doesn't he? I don't think he does. I mean, but no, he drops his kid and his kid gets on the school bus at the end of the spoiler. That's what it is. Yeah. I'll tell you what, if forest drove a school bus, that would have made a way more interesting movie. Wow. So you're working on the farm every day and you're doing the school bus when they call you. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, that's a couple days a week. And actually I have

another job working a maintenance job at a school too. Wow. Busy guy. This guy's doing everything. He doesn't have time to find another gal. No. Yeah. My dad, my dad once told me I was a whore. I'll do anything for money. What is your parents think of this situation you're in? Oh, they just shake their head. They're like, I don't know. I don't know what, what you're doing, but it seems to be working for you. So that's good. Wow. And there's no, there's nothing. The dad has not told you that you gotta find your own place at any point in time. No, no, they, uh, basically he makes it sound like he wants to take, he wants to retire from farming in a couple of years and he's looking for

somebody to take it over. So you're the investment. Are you going to be, you're going to be good taking care of the farm then? I guess I'm not, I'm not opposed. That's a pretty good deal. Yeah, it's a great situation. He's going to leave you the farm, dude. That's going to piss your ex-girlfriend off so much

when you get that whole farm. Yeah, well, I'd say so, but hey, that's not my business. No. I mean, a little bit. You are living in her house working with her dad. Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in, man. This is great. Yeah. Any advice out there for other bus drivers on how to, you know, not be so exhausted at the end of the day. I would say, well, for one thing, if the kids get out of hand,

you do need to resist the urge to play them on the brake pedal. But when they're standing up in the, in the walkway and then slam on the brakes and they go flying mysteriously a squirrel ran in front of me. I don't know. I would say that we just need to keep trying to teach the good value to the younger children and to, you know, be nice to people and say good morning to everybody. Cause it's, it's getting ridiculous out there. I say it's just, it's gotta be the phones. I heard a story of a kid. I heard a story of a kid a while back that got on the wrong bus and he ended up at the wrong school in the morning. Like he was at a, there was a, there was a class of like kids that went over to the local community college for some classes. And after class he walked out of, walked out of there

and got on the wrong bus and they took him to the wrong goddamn school. It's like 45 minutes away. Damn phones. It's the phone. And our school is probably five minutes from there. I'm like, how does this kid get on there and not be like, wow, I've been on here more than a few minutes. You think that was probably wrong, but he ended up 45 minutes away at the wrong darn school. How old are the kids when they get phones these days I I mean, I don't know I see kids getting on, you know For fifth grade sometimes a father that's ridiculous. Good God Yeah, I know it I

feel like Yeah, that's just crazy they can just access anything on those deals. Yeah, just a bunch of robots We're getting dumber robots are getting smarter. That's the end of it right there. I agree. I tell you, uh, kids are so darn, uh, they don't pay attention to nothing. I know like the school that I drive for, they, the kids, you know, use computers to do for learning every day. You know, they have to bring a laptop with them, man. I bet every day there's at least one kid that forgets their computer. Like at home or on the bus.

It's like, you have one thing you have to have for school today and you can't keep track of one thing. So do you turn the bus around and go get it for him or no? No, I watch. Yeah. A lot of people do. I'm the kind of guy like, well, if you can't manage that, well, you'll just have to figure it out today. Like there was one thing. It's not my fault. Yeah. But you have to borrow your neighbor's computer, you know, just like I used to have to borrow people's pencils. Cause I never had a pencil. Yeah. No. And I gotta give some sympathy to these kids. Um, if, if I were on that bus, I'd forget my frigging thing

every single day. Yeah. You know, yeah, Charlie does seem like the kind of guy that would forget stuff every day, but that's not because you'd have been on your phone. It'd be because you're like looking at the birds outside. I know birds are freaking awesome. That's what these little shits are. Never going to learn how cool birds are because they're too busy looking at their stupid ass tick tock shit. I'm just turning it into an old, old man, you know, but at the same time, these phones are killing us. I agree. I'm the youngest old man you'd ever meet. How old are you? 25. You gotta be freaking kidding me dude. You gotta be freaking kidding me. You sound like you've been through three divorces and two world wars. I know everybody's like if you're only as old as you feel, I'm 87. My God. Well, we appreciate you calling in today, man. This is great. And keep doing the good work out there. Spreading the spread and the love, the good mornings and Midwest

waves. Yeah. I'll have to work on that. Hell yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you for your service to the Midwest. You keep her moving out there. Hey, you boys watch out for deer. All right. Thank you. Yeah, you watch out for deer and pretend you see one the next time one of those little shits is in the middle of the alley walking on their phone.

Kick that up to the front. I've only almost hit a deer in a bus once. So that's okay. That's a big win. That's a big win. I agree. I agree. The other kids wouldn't have known the difference if there was five of them in front of us. As we say that a school bus drives right by us. That's symbolic. Really? Yeah. I was too busy looking at my phone. Yeah. You guys are too busy looking at your phone. Yeah. Well, I suppose. Hey, you boys have a wonderful day. You too, man. Have a good one. See you soon. Make sure you drink one for me. Cause they frown upon that. If you do that for you, get on the bus. We will take care. All right. Have a good one.

You know, what was the worst part about riding the bus was that I didn't ride the bus, but when we go on field trips and shit like that, when you get the seat that was over the wheel well, oh yeah. And then you have to sit there with your legs like you're sitting on a squatty potty. Yeah. As long as the worst one, dude Did I remember being on the bus? That's why I'm worried about these kids like they're not gonna learn Well, the way I remember

Kindergarten or first grade one of the two just exchanging swear words that I learned with my buddy, you know I mean what a memory core memory that's when I learned shit and he taught me fuck That's when I learned shit and he taught me fuck. And I was, and I feel like now kids are learning that off of the internet and you should learn that from your friends who are part of the problem. Charlie. I know I'm definitely the problem. I mean, look at all the videos we do. This is on the internet right now. Correct. I know. Yep. That's how it goes. Miles. That's how it goes. Got to look at the look in the mirror before you look at everyone else. Like, why are these kids all on their phone? Hey there, folks, how you doing? You know, on their phone. Yeah, we're on their phone. We're on their

phone. Oh yeah, that's right. It's even more meta than that. Well, should we take another one? Yep. Folks, I tell you what spring is here. You know what happens when spring is in the air, miles, the birds, the bees, the... Blah. You know what that is? Boat motor? It's a motorcycle. Motorcycle.

Close, close. But I tell you, miles and motorcycles, you know, ugh. They're dangerous. They can be dangerous. I got a Harley, I do. My dad calls it a donor cycle. And I gotta tell ya, if you're riding down that road, you know, and you get into an accident, well.

What should they do, Charles? Get a time machine and get a car. No, but if you get in an accident, you guys call Nikolay, okay? And be safe on those roads out there, but if you do get in an accident, call Nikolay, Nikolay Law, they're here to help. If you've been injured, give Russell a chit chat, okay?

He'll make that stupid little lizard on the TV commercials pay so you don't have to. Screw the insurance companies. Call Nikolay. Swassup? All right, Charlie, we got a voicemail coming our way here. Voicemail, it's the Belladot voicemail. Hey, gentlemen, this is John, 32 years old, based out of Seattle.

Born and raised on the East Coast, but I'm out here in this land now. And no question is mainly a comment. The same church, different pew. You have no idea how amazing of a terminology that is for corporate America. I say this on a daily basis now. So many smiles, so many smirks, just so many comments on it. It catches people off guard. What a perfect terminology. Doesn't really ruffle any feathers. People understand the concept and it can be applicable in so many different things.

So I'm just mainly saying thank you for sharing the love of Mid-Western hospitality and letting me know about the same church different to you because it is the best phrase I've ever used other than y'all. Thank you for what you do. You guys are hilarious. You have a wonderful day. And tell your folks to say hi.

Oh man. No, tell your folks who he says hi. That's really, doesn't it make you feel good? I literally just said that a call ago. I feel like yeah Same church different pew. I don't know when we started saying that on this podcast. I feel like you said it Yeah, I don't know where I learned it from I learned from someone but the same Another one you can use if you guys like that is it's a horse a piece You know what's funny too is he like described the advantages of a one liner

puts a smile on people's face. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah, they don't. There's no explanation needed. Yeah. That's kind of what one liners are for. It's joke. No, but it sounds like a great, great guy. Great guy. Also, how old they say was 32. He I could have guessed like 75, you know, some other raspy boys. What are some other corporate one liners you can throw out? Corporate one liners. We knocked that one out of the park. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, are you talking about good corporate one liners or just shit? People say on zoom calls, you know, like sidebar on this one. Um, yeah.

Circle back. Yeah. Um, we'll, to say, it's a horse a piece. You know that is that a one liner? No, you can tell in a little little joke, you know, like, like how's about this? How's about this? Miles, how's about this? Why? Why did the ghost come out? Why did the ghost come out? Why did the ghost come out? Like, like, how's about this? How's about this?

Miles, how's about this? Why? Why did the ghost cross the street? Hmm. Why? To get to the other side. Well, I was expecting half a chuckle on that one. Did you just make that up right now? Maybe. Yeah. I'd keep working on that comedy, especially yours show years. I'm not going to give you any of the a-list jokes. What, what letter list is that joke? You think like D F G like I'm never going to use it. So I'm using it here.

Well, we appreciate that voicemail and hey, what it's up, whatever we can do. Tits up is a good one. Hey, this is gone. Tits up. Tits up. Yeah, I don't actually want to use that in the office. All right. I like saying that when you're tired, you're sucking hind tit. Sucking hind tit. That's a good one. That's a good one. Well, is that injured? All right. Well guys, thanks for tuning into another episode of the belly. Belly. If you're in Appleton, you got to get to Dr. Jekyll here

on College Ave and don't forget, tip your bartender folks. See you guys.