Bellied Up - Timmy Tango is Hunting For Cougars #185

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

We’re recording from Cleveland Pub in New Berlin, WI. Our first caller is from Arizona, transplanted to the Midwest, with questions about ice fishing and whether the Mexican food holds up out here. Then Timmy Tango delivers a Bellied Update on his latest game plan for “scoring” hot moms.https://prizepicks.onelink.me/ivHR/be...⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠use promo code: belliedup

Welcome back. Sorry, Miles. Sorry. Go ahead. We were just both so excited to start this episode, the bellied up podcast that we just stepped on each other's words. Hopefully it's not an indication that the rest of this podcast, we're going to be stepping on each other.

Like we're having our first awkward dance in eighth grade. Back that ass up. That's what played at my eighth grade dance. Can you believe that? Oh, yeah. I can believe that. You're a big fun. You're back.

Oh, yeah. And then people were grinding on each other. And I was like, this is against. And, oh, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet. Yes, they were talking about. And I was unsure what skeet meant. Still a little unsure. Yeah.

It's a fun word, though. Like, at that point, I thought the guy was just, you know, enjoyed shotguns. Yeah. Shooting. Shooting trap. Yeah, but then when you think about, you think of the spray of a shotgun. It kind of makes a lot of sense. Is that where to start this off?

If you ever see a clay pigeon explode, it's got to. to be what, you know, what an egg sees. You know, just like, just like an explode. Well, anyways. Biology guys. Honestly, that is probably what the egg sees, especially when you're shooting because you're just hitting that clay pigeon with one BB. No, I didn't know.

We all know that where you're like, did I hit it? And it's just a wad, you know, I think I hit it. It's just a wad going up over it. There you go, you go collect the ones that you didn't hit, you know, that are still there. And there's just a one one pinhole in it. didn't break it. You know,

you know when they're like just broken in half because they broke on the ground where it's they fell. Yeah, I'm like, no, see I hit that one. You know,

it's funny. I'm actually not bad at, um, clay pigeons and ski and whatnot, but I'm, I'm just not good at birds. Birds are too unpredictable for me. Like,

I like a predictable. I, like, I can understand the machine, but now I will have to say once birds are up in the air, they're kind of just committing to one flight path. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I do not think so, frankly, I don't. Because you've got the wind in it.

Because every time a clay pigeon is going, it's decelerating miles. But the thing about the birds is they've got that acceleration force. Do you know how fast Merganser can fly in the sky, Miles? You're shooting? You're shooting them? No, I'm not shooting them. I love Morganzers. I don't shoot them. But do you know how fast those. Some people do. Do you know how fast they can fly? 60 120 miles an hour Jared don't check it they can fly fast man so where are we at today Charlie

we're at the Cleveland Pub here it's because it's we're on Cleveland Street or Avenue is that Cleveland Ave baby is that where we're at in Milwaukee well technically New Berlin right New Berlin

New Berlin Great bar a lot of space I like that but also not too much space to where it feels like a go you know yeah no this is but the the use of space in this bar is unlike unlike i've seen it in a while like every single horizontal surface behind the bar is covered with um an alcohol of some sort quite impressive they've got a walk in not a walk in fridge but just a pull out fridge with all different varieties of beers and whatnot there and then on top of that miles look at all the taps they

have. I mean, that's got to be 24 taps. Yeah. I mean, I just need one, but. And also today, Miles, look over there on that wall. What does it say? It says, try or you betcha old fashion with Barron's old fashioned brandy. How about that? Let's go. How about that?

I finally got looped in. Yes. Yeah, you did. You're looped in on it. And that yeah, that is etched in stone here at, well, it's written in chalk here at Cleveland Pub. That's the opposite of permanent. Yeah, it'll, it's a good special for today, though.

I'm going to have to try it. So you have four hours to get here before they erase that special. They're just pandering to us for sure. You know what, Miles, I like to think that they're going to have it up for a week. We'll ask them. We'll ask them and see. I'm going to post a picture, though, just in case it is a temporary. Yeah.

I'll get in that with you. Okay, yeah. We'll do a little picture of it. That'd be nice. That'd be real fun. And I'll do that. Yeah, that's cool. The open mouth.

The open mouth point. Yeah. It's a Charlie Barron's patented move. Well, it's also like, thank you guys. Thank you. I do like the open mouth thing because it just, it takes attention away from other facial features that people are going to be like, why are his eyes red? Why has you got dark circles? But if his mouth is open, they're like, why is his mouth open, you know?

What's your favorite facial feature? On me? Yeah, to like post for a photo. Oh, let's see here. I don't, the smiles are tough because my sisters roast the hell out of me. And they say I don't have an authentic smile. They say I look dead in the eyes. Let's see it.

I'm like to make me laugh. No. Let's see it. No, I'm not, I'm not your little monkey to dance on command, Miles. I have a soul. I have a person. Make me laugh and you'll see it. You've seen it.

You've seen it. I don't just give that away, Miles. you got to earn it. Before we talk about what I want to ask you about today, I do need to address that on the previous episode, yes, the one of our callers had said that you should clean your glasses because when you don't clean your glasses, you look like, dirty. someone with special needs. It's what they said. And I want to inform anyone that's just listening,

Charlie elected with no glasses today, which I find very interesting. Did that call or get to your head? No, I just lost my glasses because I have special needs. And my needs are my glasses right now. Also, you know, there's, you know, special needs is a wide array. of things. Okay.

There's a bunch of people with special needs. It shouldn't be used as an insult, you know, especially, you know, when the perspective there, you know, there's just, there's the idea of, you know, dirty glass. It's just a, it's a shallow understanding of the deal there, Miles. And I'm taking offense to the fact. I did not know where that was going. I'm taking offense to the fact that, you know, there are a lot of people with a lot cleaner glasses than me with other things going on.

I'll just say that. I'll just say that. I just had to address it just because it was a noticeable difference from yesterday when we were recording, so I didn't know. I mean, that adds up. You lost them. So are you just flying blind right now? No, no.

I can see. I can see fine. But you drove here without your glasses. facts. Oh my God. All right. I mean, I got a question for you. I can see living creatures. I just can't always see super opposed.

What the sign says when you're driving. No, I'm capable. What the street sign says. I'm capable of reading every street sign miles. I do it like this. Can't read it. Can't read it. Can't read it. Can read it. Oh, that was my turn.

God, I wish I had my glasses that I could have turned there. Question for you, Charlie. answer for you Miles. You know, it's now the offseason for the Packers, obviously. And so I was kind of wondering, you know, you were kind of talking to me about like, oh, fake fans, this and that. You were telling me not to jump on the bandwagon when you guys do inevitably win a Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to know, Charlie. Last episode. How do you spot a fake Packers fan? You can tell because they are asking at a tailgate if this has gluten in it. Okay. That's a wrong question to ask at a pack or tailgown. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being gluten and tolerant or whatever. Okay.

Okay. If you're a gluten-free person, you and a Packers fan, you have already learned time and time again to just not ask that at a tailgate or you're going to get your ass handed to you by everyone there. So a real Packers fan has been there before, knows that people love to make fun of the gluten-free thing. And so sorry if you got the celiac.

disease. My brother, his wife's got it. Okay. So do you think she actually has it or is just one of those like because it's trendy to be gluten free and all that? I don't know. The thing with, I got a few celiac folks that I'm aware of, you know, or the anti-celia or I don't really understand it. But I respect it, Miles, respect the game. But basically they're not eating. really fun things. So some of them, well, I think some might be making it up for the name,

you know, I think a lot are really, really got it because they're turned down some good breads. All right. So if you're asking about gluten-free stuff, that's a fake fan. What else? I think...

What about wardrobe? What are they wearing? We're not wearing. C, C, C. Well, you're not wearing any sort of hunting gear. I think usually, a and this is in the winter so I mean you know but dead of winter the coldest out there you know you usually have some form of hunting gear on usually but it's hard to generalize because we can all we

can no but we're going to generalize in this segment yeah so I want you to get out get the mindset of not generalizing for the sake of this podcast I want you to generalize so no gluten free if you show up to a cold weather game and you're not wearing hunting gear you're you might be a fake fan. You might be a fake fan. What else? Yeah, this is kind of a you might be a fake fan. If you show up to the Packer tailgate and ask if the cheese curds are gluten free,

you might be a fake Packer fan. Yeah, well, then you're definitely a fake Packer fan with that one. You're definitely a fake Pacer fan. Okay. If you show up to a cold weather game and you're not wearing hunting gear, you might be a fake Packer fan. If you go to a Packers, if you go to Lambeau Field and not complain about the bear, if you go to Lambeau Field

and not complain about the beer prices, even though you know exactly what the beer prices are, you're definitely a fake Packers fan. That's right. Yeah, you've always, like going to Lambeau and complaining about the beer prices is, it's like going to church and blessing yourself with the holy water.

You have to do it. Yeah. You absolutely have to do it. Wait, so you're not complaining about the beer prices? You're complaining about the beer prices. But if you're a fake fan, you are complaining. If you're a fake fan, you know, you're not complaining. You have to complain.

about the beer prices. It's hard. Because you said, I think you said, well, I misspoke. Okay. So if, if you're a fake packers fan, if you're a fake Packers fan, okay, okay, if you're a true Packers fan, you always complain about the beer prices. Even though you've been buying the same beer for the same price for seasons after season. Well, the price continues to go up with inflation and whatnot and they're all, but you must complain about the price of beer if you are a true Packers fan because it's just part of what we do. It's like blessing yourself. when you go into church. Okay.

So if you walk up to the beer stand and you just hand them money and you take it back and go back and drink your beer, you might be a fake packer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no alluding to how expensive it is. Right.

You got it. You got to let it sit in your craw a little bit, you know? And you know who don't complain about the beer prices? A lot of Bears fans. Oof. Yeah, because they're the high flute in Chicago types. They don't even look at the price. They don't look at the price.

And also it's, probably way cheaper at Lambo than where they're at. Yeah, potentially. If you're not at least trying to smuggle alcohol into the stadium, you might be a fake Packers fan. Yeah, if you just walk in and you're not worried about your booze in your breast pocket getting confiscated, you might be a fake Packers fan. If you're going to a game in December and you're sitting outside in just jeans,

you might be a fake Packers fan. It's usually at that point not a testament of your strength as a human. You just didn't know what you were. You didn't realize that it wasn't, you know. You didn't realize that you were going to be sitting on an aluminum piece of metal in the freezing cold. Aluminum, ladies and gentlemen, is what they make beer cans out of, largely because it keeps them cold. Your ass also stays cold at Lambeau Field.

I also feel like you might be a fake fan if you sit during a Packer game. I feel like when we were there, We stood the whole time. We did stand the whole time, but I will give it to you. There are plenty of times to sit during a packer. In fact, a lot of real fans bring their own seat, which allows a little flip-up one. A little flip-up seat.

You can bring your own seat to Lambeau Field. One of the only places where you can own part of the packers and bring your own seat, B-Y-O-S. Don't they bring cardboard to or no? Yeah, if you just forget or something, you get just any sort of, it's like insulation you know in fact one time I did bring

I duct tape two pieces of insulation together and then made a little seat on my own you know put just put duct tape around the side it's actually really smart Charlie yeah it's good and even better if you put a belt on it and then you're just walking around with it all day you know that's it's good it does tear up a little bit that's the downside so you might

want to just double up on the duct tape. But, but yeah. All right, guys, time to play price picks. Price picks will give you $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup, win or lose. You're getting $50 in lineups. All you got to do is use promo code bellied up when you sign up today. I tell you what, guys, the big game is happening here very soon.

We only got a couple weeks. And so now you got to get your price picks lineups for the big game. And for me this week, I think I'm going to pick Drake May less than. 222 and a half pass yards. I think if they're going to win the game, it's going to be with their defense and not on the arm of Drake May. So, Charlie, what do you got?

Miles, how you doing, man? Coming to you live from my shotgun seat to let you know that this week I'm going Matt Collins more than 27.5. All right? So there you have it, buddy. Good luck. Charlie, great pick, buddy.

Great pick. I love it. And guys, there's just nobody. better way to watch the big game than having some lineups submitted on prize picks gives you that extra incentive to get into the game even if your team isn't in it so um download price picks today use code bellied up and we'll see in the big game hi Greg you got miles and charlie from the bellied up podcast how we doing doing good man it's a pleasure to be able to talk to some midwest royalty here what up dude

How are you guys doing? Are you day drinking? Yeah, we're bellyed up here at the Cleveland pub in New Berlin, Wisconsin. Stacking our money till it gets sky high. Well, Greg, I heard that you live in the Midwest and you got some stuff you want to talk to us about. Yeah, so, I mean, give you a little background. I've lived in Arizona my whole life, you know, down in the desert, deep desert,

down in Tucson, grew up with rattlesnakes and cactus. And then my wife's from southern Minnesota, and she's always wanted to move me up here. And, you know, I came once just after we got married, and came up and met her dad. Well, before we got married, I met her dad. And it was the middle of winter and it was 40 below. And I'm like, oh, I don't think I could handle it. I just don't think I could. So we did a happy medium.

We moved from the desert up to the mountains in Arizona where you still get snow, but it's gone by Tuesday, you know, so it's not too bad at all. and eventually, you know, I mean, in 2000, we decided, hey, let's do it. And we moved up here and been here for five years now. And, man, I should have done it so much earlier. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

I didn't know where you're going if it was going to be good or bad. No, I so should have done it so much, so much earlier. I mean, the diversity and variety of plants and animals and the things to do. I'm going a little stir crazy still on the winners. You know, I miss outdoor activity. Well, so that's when you got to escape and go back. to Arizona. Yeah, no.

That's too far of a drive and too far to fly. That's the most Midwest thing you can set right there. Yeah, you sound like you've lived here for 40 years. I really like, I think the winners are such an underrated time of the year. You know, like there's nothing better than going on a nice little winter walk when you got that snow down there. It's like you're walking through a sound blanket, you know? And you really see a lot of birds in the winter, a lot of birds.

because, you know, the trees all got their winter Brazilian going. And what, Miles? Why are you shaking your head? Why can I just talk about birds one time without you shaking your head? And why don't you just recognize the majesty of the aviation animals? Yeah, no, I love the quiet. You know, I love the quiet. It's beautiful.

And I like, I mean, the best part of the snow is there's less yard work to do, right? See? There you go. Yeah, look at this. It's a great way to think about winter. Yeah. And it hides what you didn't get done. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, you know, it's the ultimate just kicked the can down the road. Yeah. In fact, just yesterday I got this one step on my front steps. That's got it's, it's, it's in need of replacement. I'm about to go through that step. But I'm just sitting there like, I'll wait till spring. I'll wait till it dries up a little.

no reason to do it. It doesn't even make sense. But, you know, I'm just waiting. It's a perfect excuse. I'll just shovel it, shovel it a little bit more, you know, and then, and then, or I'll go through it and then I have to replace it. But yeah, you're like, there's no reason to do it right now. No, I can definitely be put off. And that's the thing I like is the fact that the seasons do change so drastic every three months. That is true. Every three months, it's completely different. You know, where there's two seasons in Arizona, there's hot and damn hot. Yeah. Yeah.

But I'm loving the water, man. Sweating your ass off. Got my first fish at 52 years old. What kind? It was a bass. It was a big mouth. Oh. Yeah.

I had no idea what I was doing. I got a kayak and I'm like, I'm going to go play in the water. I got a kayak. I went out there, he had my fishing pole. And I put a jig on it. And I didn't realize. Just a little eyeball with the hook. That's the only thing I was.

was throwing just like that. Really? And I caught one. Come on. Come on. Where were you fishing? In a little lake up here where I live in Aiken. Wow.

It just is a bear jig, huh? Just a bear jig. What color jig? You know, and I caught it. A little yellow head. No, cool. Real good. Yeah.

You caught it and what? I caught it. And, you know, and then I learned later that, you know, you're supposed to actually put something on that. Yeah. Yeah. but when they're hungry they're hungry you know you don't eat anything it's true my cousin tommy this is a true story he was whipping

a just a gold and i probably said it here on this pocket but he's just whipping a golden eagle hook through the weeds with a bobber on and he was just he lost his bait he was like shoot just reeling it in and then boom he catches a musky a musky on a little on just a little gold hook and he brought it in now it wasn't a big musky i've seen bigger wall eyes it didn't that to Tom's face, but I'll say it behind his back, but still impressive. Probably the musky was just swimming and just ran into it and accidentally swall. No, it hit them right on the lip. And there's actually a video of me running to get the net.

And I'll tell you when there's a musky on the line, I run like a little schoolgirl. I was just legs, legs going, you know. Yeah, I think if I caught a musky, I'd be terrified. I'm still nervous when I catch little pike, you know. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, exactly, do I pick that up? I'm not sure exactly, you know? Yeah, you want to get, you know, have the good jaws of life to get those hooks out sometimes.

But Eagle hook was pretty easy, but we wanted to get her in the net pretty quick. So. Yep, but I'm hooked now, man. I tell you, I got that kayak, I said that fish pulling me around, you know. Oh, yeah. That was fantastic. So I took the kayak, that first winter, put it in the basement, added a trolling motor to it and an oscillating fan to keep the mosquitoes away. Dude, that's hilarious.

That's so good. Oh, it's great. It works fantastic. You know, a little battery operated fan like they put in, you know, and truckers use. Yeah. I actually have not seen a fan on a kayak in my life. Miles, have you ever seen that? I was just going to say that.

I feel like that's new. Yeah. I also haven't seen trolling motors on too many kayaks. I guess I have seen something like, is this a specifically fishing kayak? or are you sort of retrofitting it? Yeah, it's just a regular little fishing kayak, but I modified it and added a plate on the back of it and put the trolling motor on there and put foot steering

so I can steer it with my feet. Oh. Teas. Yeah. And that was great the next year, and then I upgraded. So now I got a boat that's got, you know, it's a 16-foot lund, old 1978 boat.

This is a slippery slope, you know. I have tricked it out. Man, I got the office. auto boat on it. It's got Wi-Fi. I got car play. Oh, my God. You are being introduced to the Midwest slippery slope, Charlie. Here's the Midwest slippery slope. What is it? First, you move to the Midwest. Then you hear about fishing. You just dip your toe in the water and you're like, okay. Okay. It's a little cold. Why don't I get a kayak? You get the kayak. You're like, I really don't like paddling this thing all over the

place. So I put a trolling motor on it. But, God, I hate the mosquitoes here in the Midwest. I'm going to put a fan on it. And then you're like, oh, why, I basically have a boat. Why don't I trade it in and get a boat? You know, the only next rational

step miles is for him to get himself a Winnebago and put some pontoons on that sucker. I think that's it. I think that's it. Yeah. That was something my wife would like. She wants a pontoon. And then went out on one and she's like it's just not as much fun as the boat well now here's a fun

thing about a pontoon buddy of mine had a had a little bit of a well you can uh this is going to be too hard to explain but you can put a barbecue on it you can do a lot with a pontoon uh yeah one of my buddies had this old pontoon i'll just do it try uh for a second, but he actually cut a little bit a hole in the middle and retrofit is sort of a, never mind. I'm finding it's too hard to explain. I got to get a picture. I'm going to get a picture and then what was he trying to accomplish? He was trying to accomplish having sort of like a way to fish and or use the restroom easier on a boat. Okay, so he just drove

Like he did the ice fishing But on open water He did like a tuber on He did a tuber In a pontoon But the tuber's purpose was for To sit down His name to sit down on it

But but then One of my other friends said You can't just go around doing that That's terrible So then he retrofitted like a bag system because obviously like there's there was more deck so he

he now has a system where it collects in a bag and it's it's not used anymore for that so then he tried to retrofit it again as a fishing thing but people are you can just fish off the side of the bone yeah but you know that's what happens when he's got

a cousin with a junkyard you know and so the cousin when he gets something cool and he kind of brings it over this guy just lets his imagination do what it does and then he makes regrettable decisions. And that's why you guys got to be careful to have a cousin with a junkyard. But anyways, I told you. I just imagining this guy just like sitting down on the floor of the pontoon,

not like squatting, but like his legs just out in front of them and just taking a shit. It's not a good way to do it. I don't know if I could get the job done sitting like that. No. Because I'm not squatting down. My knees will be shot after about 45 seconds. Yeah. I don't because well what it is honestly though is it's more of like and this is the way people

humans were meant to kind of do it was to just do the goddess squat right now I know what I'm saying my knees are going to be shot oh you were talking about that okay so I'm gonna I might have to elect for the sit down with your feet straight out in front of you ever seen anyone do it like but you know what that's like that's like the dumb and dumber when he like is really trying to go for his legs are in the air yeah yeah yeah yeah just make a hole in one of the benches you can fish and shit at the same time, right? That's true. Yeah, I don't know why your guy just didn't do a bucket with a make buckets, five-gown buckets with toilet seats.

That's, well, what I'm trying to tell you is that he was, uh, it was some, the explanation, that's why I told you. If I start to explain, I forget the reasoning. So now I'm trying to piece the pieces together. I get it if you just want to shit in the lake. That's a good move. But it's also not a good move to just be having floaters in the lake. Oh, it's terrible.

It's terrible. And the other thing is he was, he was trying to make this some sort of an ice fishing situation as well, which made absolutely no sense. So he's just going to drag his pontoon out on the lake? No, he had some kind, you've seen like those little boats that they have like the sort of the saw looking thing on the back to drive them across the ice. Yeah. He had some idea for something like that.

But I mean, that's why I tell you, you know some guy. Everyone's got a cousin like that. Yeah, I know. I know. Well, it's a cousin, I think. Yeah, anyways. So, yeah. I'm looking for more Midwest things to do. What am I missing? I do a lot of mowing. I love the heck out of mowing. Yeah, I suppose you didn't have a lawn down in Arizona. No, you just reorganize the rocks a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, and you don't got to water any of the plants. I mean, what are you? No, that's the thing. I used to, I used to, I had a greenhouse down in.

Arizona and man I do everything I could to keep water. You know, you try and recycle your water, reuse it and, you know, and have it and catch it and collect it and everything. Here you just poke a seed in the ground and it grows. Yeah. That is kind of, I don't have to maintain it or baby it. I mean, I can, but you know. Yeah. Um, you're, you're a big, oh, go ahead. No, you go ahead. Well, I just went on that long run. I feel like I got to put some time on the clock for you. you're good i was just going to ask him what what he's looking to do was there anything he's interested if he wants to get into midwest stuff well one thing that i haven't tried that i want to try still is snowmobiling okay oh okay and i'm looking forward to trying that i tried ice fishing you know

my my son you know he's 22 and he entered a raffle at work and won a little little hut and holes and everything i went out duck cut a hole my neighbor comes over he's like there's no fish there, man. Why are you fishing there? Yeah, that is. You do need to really know where to put it. Yeah, he's like, jump in the car, roll the window down. Don't put your seatbelt on. I'm like, oh, this sounds like fun. Yes. Yes. So you're out on ice fishing. I've tried it, but like I said, I think that a way to do it, I saw something on the

YouTube where a guy took an old minivan and just cut a couple holes in the floor. A tubber, dude. That's what I was talking about. Yeah, just drive that out there, pop the holes in the bottom and fish that way. I'd be down with that. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. You do sink a little bit faster if it goes under, but that's all right. That's why you got the windows down. Yep. You've got it. Always windows down, no seatbelts. So snowmobiling is an interesting deal, but I will say as a guy who's owned two snowmobiles, I have spent way more time fixing them than I have ride in them. They typically, uh, they typically fall, uh, have issues, especially if you buy an old one. But, uh, it is fun. You just also got to know kind of the trail etiquette. Miles,

have you done any, uh, snowmobiling? It's been a long time. Um, my dad wasn't really into it. So growing up, we didn't do it much, but we did, I do remember, um, doing a little bit as a kid. We had one for a little while. And then my dad was like, I'm sick of fixing this thing. Oh, yeah. that's what I was just saying. He said I had two of them. I've spent more time fixing them than I've done riding them. And I never grew up doing it. I just bought one for fun thinking it'd be fun.

And well, I bought more tools than beers with it. So anyways. Greg, I got a question for you. I know when you hit us up, you said you had an idea that if you were mayor for a day in your town, what would you implement? I'm curious to see what you'd implement. I said that. I think I remember that.

I don't remember what I said, though. If I was mayor in our town for a day. You were talking about the Mexican food in your town. Oh, yeah. I would definitely get some real Mexican food up here. Okay. So are you saying that us Midwesterners, when we go to the Mexican village or Guadalajara or

a paradiso. When I go to those restaurants, I'm not getting real Mexican food? No, not at all. And sometimes you get Tex-Mex. I mean, we went to a restaurant and got a Chimmy Chong and had red sauce on it and I was hopeful. And then I found out it was barbecue sauce.

It was like, no, that's just not right. That's not right. And when they give you chips and salsa and the salsa is tomato, tomato, you know, just smashed up tomatoes with onions in it. That's not right. It's not right. So if you were mayor for one day in your town, you would just do, you would, you would ban all the current Mexican restaurants? No, I would make them all convert over to something that ended with a bettos of some kind, you know?

So it's true sonoran Mexican food, you know, not text max. Yeah, give them a warning. Like you have six months to change your menu or you're gone. And use real spice. I want, now I'm starting to wonder if Jose's blue sombrero. is not an authentic Mexican restaurant. What do you mean? That sounds legit.

It sounds legit to me too. I mean, I don't know. So the problem with the spice thing is, is it's still, regardless of if it's a Mexican restaurant, you're still in the Midwest, and it's going to be,

if you burn someone's face off one time, they're not coming back. You know what I mean? That's, yeah, it takes time. You've got to kind of grow up with it a little, I guess. Yeah, so maybe it's like you do a,

you do like a, where it's a scale that every year they have to add a little bit more spice to their stuff to acclimate all the Midwesterners to be able to handle heat. So like by year 10, you got full spice. It's almost like getting your steak knife at a really nice steak shop. You know how you see them like you walk in and you got that little placard. I don't know. They got like a thing where they hold a knife.

Have you ever seen that? I said I walked into this one steak shop in there anyways but it just it the whole it shows where your spice situation is here's my question on spice miles there are some Midwest people that can really handle their spice yeah like there are some Midwest people that sort of crave like I remember my grandpa Bob he was loading in the the hot sauce into his bloody Mary and the horse radish and I think horse radish really is the Midwest Gateway Spice Yeah. You know, because everyone likes a little, a scotcha horse radish. And, but horse radish can dial it up to 10, just like wabi can kind of, you know. So I'm actually going to have Jared come in on this. So I like some spice. Okay. And Jared, I want you to tell the story about when we were headed out from Milwaukee from one of these trips. And we stopped at like a, what was it like a PETA joint or? Thailand Pita joint or something

And tell the folks what I did Miles accidentally ordered like Dante's Inferno sandwich He didn't know it could be that spicy Was it called Dante's inferno? Something like that like the Blazers I think it was like I ordered like Hey I'll do the inferno

And I just saw like spicy chicken Or something on there And I got this thing And I'm telling you like I like some heat this thing was so fucking hot. And then of course my stubbornness, I had to eat the whole sandwich.

You ate the whole thing. You really doubled down on it. And I'm sitting there. My face was beat red and I was actually just sweating sitting there. And it took me about 45 minutes to recover. Yeah. It was in the middle of winter. And when we got in the car,

Miles turned the AC. So I mean, Greg, this is what you're dealing with, man. That's why I think you got to, you know, acclimate them to the heat over time. Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to see you guys like on hot ones. You know, where they get the chicken wings and they just get hotter and hotter and hotter.

Midwest hot ones is just a 10 minute interview. It's gone. Tabasco sauce. Yeah. They're like, so you guys, you guys are from the Midwest. And normally,

uh, we don't have a, uh, a medic on staff, but we figured we'd bring one today and we're start god and but you know it doesn't even have to be spicy mexican food i mean just good carnisada you know i mean just cooking the meat the right way having the right spices in there doesn't necessarily have to be hot hot yeah yeah and hot just for hot sake isn't good anyway you know

you want it to have flavor in there yeah yeah i i there's there's there's one Well, there's one Mexican restaurant in Anago. And it's, I forget the name of the restaurant, but it's got like a big deer outside of it that like they used to have outside a shooter supply. I think it was like a former shooter supply, but they have integrated that now into their logo. It's pretty awesome. This is a Mexican restaurant? Mexican restaurant. Yeah, I forget the name of it.

I got to look it up. It's a big deer, our friend. Yeah. It's a bull or something. yeah i know i mean but they were just using what was there i think um but i i got to go in there and check out what that's all about but um yeah i i think uh i i think this some people consider salt a spice in the uh yeah in the Midwest so you know you want you want you want salt on that like okay but not too much i don't want to i don't want to start sweating yeah uh and then pepper too

but you know we got a little long ways to go there and you guys are in the epicenter of it when you're down there in Arizona a lot of that Mexican influence but it'll you know certain pockets we got it but just not not enough yeah I mean we got a lot of ancestors that came from Ireland right and all they're doing is eating fish and chips yeah there's no spice on that um no I would say coleslaw would be the closest thing, but yeah, I know. So that's it. You would, you would, you would implement a, a Mexican restaurant reform bill in your town. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we don't, we don't even have a Mexican restaurant. We need one. There's a food truck that comes through in the summer. You know, they're every Thursday and they're good. Okay. So they know what they're doing. They know what they're doing?

Yeah. But, I mean, the town we're in's only got 2,000 people in it. So we got a couple of restaurants, but no. Mexican, got to go to the bigger city out to Brainer to do that. And I feel like those food trucks that are really good. So Jared and I, when we drove through the Minneapolis area to get here this week, and we stopped at a gas station and parked in the Menard's parking lot was a food truck that clearly someone just spray painted the whole thing red and then took white spray paint

and just wrote the name of the food truck on the side and then a phone number and it just says, We Cater. Nice. And I was like, you know what? I bet the food in that food truck is absolutely phenomenal. Yes.

You know it's authentic. If you roll up to a food truck that's got like a nice vinyl wrap on the side with their logo, you know you're about to get some fake Mexican food. Yeah. They're putting too much money into marketing. Mm-hmm. And they're just letting their product.

could sell itself. Yeah. Yeah. Now I was like a little bit wondering if it was just like a front for a drug cartel or something like that, but that's how you know it's good. Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, I feel like, I feel like if you're going to do a drug cartel, what I know about drug cartels, you tend to get a car wash, you know.

Yeah, but the feds are starting to get on it. They're starting to figure that out. They've watched Breaking Bad. Yeah. Darn it. That's a problem. Actually, a food truck would be a. great way. You get a fleet of food

trucks. Great band name. You get a fleet of food trucks and that sounds like a pretty good way to wash your money. Is it? Yeah. I suppose. You just... You mentioned you mentioned Menards there, Miles, you know, and that's another thing we don't have

down south and boy, I absolutely... That's a paradise. Between that and fleet farm, that's the only reason I go to town. Oh, yeah. How big is your town you're living in? 2,000 people. Okay. all right not quite big enough for a fleet farm but no nope there's one down the road though about 30 miles away

which isn't too far of a drive yeah just over to brain here they've got everything we need talk about a sunday just half hour drive into the other town spending some time at flea farm stop at the food truck mexican restaurants go home tinker around with some stuff in the garage that's a good Sunday. That's exactly yeah, projects. There's always a project to be done, right? What do you listen to in the car when you're driving that 30 miles? Podcasts.

Podcasts. Oh, hey, how about it? You guys entertain the heck out of me. We're the official podcast of driving to your nearest fleet farm. Between you, you radio lab and hardcore history. Oh, wow. Wow, we fit into that mix, huh? That's wild.

That's exciting. What was it? What was the other? Radio Lab and hardcore history. Okay. Radio labs like smart people. Well, so Charlie,

that tells me that we need to start providing an additional product so he can just come to one play. We can be a one-stop shop. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we can do hardcore history here on the podcast. Hardcore. We'll study a topic like 10 minutes before we start and then we'll tell people about it.

And we'll just read the Wikipedia. Yes. And our first topic will be the Boston molasses. disaster. Ah, I heard about the Boston molasses disaster. Actually, what's the date today? Okay, two days from now when we're recording this is the anniversary of the Boston molasses disaster. And if you guys like to learn about the Boston molasses disaster, you can head over to you betcha radio and listen to episode 360. 360. And I listened to that episode and it is just hilarious and super informative. Very malat. What's actually very funny about you

saying that is that episode when we're recording this is not even out yet so i will telling on yourself i tend to do that i tend to do that um so yeah if you're looking for hardcore history you can check out that podcast too gregg you know i will definitely um now uh great is there any uh final thoughts final questions you have for us as we as we chit-chat here any unanswered questions about the Midwest. No, not at this time. I mean, they come up, especially in the, you answered what I had, but they come up in the summer when I'm trying to do things, you know, I wish I had a buddy that was a forester and could tell me what half these trees are. I got an app for that, but it'd be nice to have somebody just walk the yard going, that's a good one, that's a bad one. Well, that's exactly it,

because you want to know how healthy are these trees, especially the ones closer to your house, you know? Yeah. I got a tree that got like, what's it called, like where the frost, or the the trunk starts splitting. Yeah. And it starts like opening up like, you know what? Erotic miles. I think I'm going to lose the tree. And it's one of the biggest ones in my yard.

Really? Disappointment. Yeah, you have like, that's like one of two trees you have in your yard. And I'm going to have to get a new one there. Really sad. Isn't it, is it not true that with some of those you can sort of cut off, you can prune it a I'm talking. There's like a four foot split in the tree.

It's like opening up. Yeah. I got you. I see. you're done. Because the tree trunk became too big for the frost guard, the little white thing you put around the thing when you plant a new tree.

Yeah. And so it came off. So you didn't pull off the frost guard, huh? No, you want to, I should have gotten like another one and then like had two around it. You know? The trunk got too big. The frost guard was only on half of it. Yeah, you weren't paying close enough attention to your tree.

I know. And now the tree's paying the price miles. So that's Some, Greg, if you plan any new trees, keep the frost guard on it or whatever it's called for as long as you possibly can. Okay. I didn't know that you could do that. But get the right size frost guard. Well, they come in like one. They're just like a little plastic tube, you know?

Oh, okay. I got you. Okay. Yeah, it's not like there's certain trees that come with. Like, if you buy a new tree from like a landscaping company, they'll just have the frost guard. there but keep that sucker on as long as you can. See, this is stuff I didn't even know. It's because you live Milwaukee and all your trees are mature.

I live in the land of no trees. That's true. This is the stuff you got to learn, you know. That's really good. It's very insightful. No, I'm just, I'm loving it up here, guys. I definitely am going to state parks as much as we can, you know, take drives up to Duluth and all the way up.

And eventually, I might go over to Wisconsin. But, you know, after that spanking that they got the other night. Wow. I don't know if I should. Well, you know what? You come on over. We need the moral support, all right? And Duluth is really beautiful.

They actually, this time of year, you can skate through the woods. Have you seen that? They had like basically an ice skating trail. Yeah, you can trail skate. It's super cool. Wow. That sounds like fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's basically like hiking on ice skates. So pretty dangerous, actually, on certain points. But wear a helmet. You'll have fun. It's like rollerblading in the winter through the woods. Super slick. You got to watch out for trees, though. You don't want to sunny Bono or Bono.

You don't want a sunny Bono yourself. Yeah, no. So it's kind of a cross-country skiing kind of thing, but they got it made with ice. Yeah, essentially. Yeah. It's a good way to describe it. Yeah. Wow.

that does sound like fun. You see a lot of skiing down Arizona. They got mountains up here. I'm looking at the ski places. I'm going to go try one in a couple weeks. Yeah, just make sure you have the right expectation going into it. It's not a mountain. It's a hill.

Yes. It's a hill. So you're going to be spending a lot of time going up the ski lift because your ride down is going to be pretty short. Yeah. But, yeah. If you do go over straight over to Michigan, and the UP, they got some good hills right up there on Superior with a lot of powder

because Superior creates a lot of snow. And they got some decent ones up there. Nice. Yeah. So there's a few tips for you, you know? I appreciate it. Well, Greg, we appreciate you calling us today. This has been great and glad you're loving the Midwest.

Well, thanks, guys. It's been an absolute pleasure and I appreciate the hell out of your time. Oh, yeah, man. We'll see you on your next drive to Fleet Farm. I'll be hearing you. All right. Bye-bye now. What a good guy.

Yeah. I mean, you can sell in his voice that he's just a happy camper. Yeah. You know? It's almost like he like. And what's that say about us, Charlie, when someone says they move to the Midwest after their whole life,

that you're kind of on the edge of your seat to find out whether or not they hate it or they love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he left us hanging there momentarily a little bit, you know? Yeah. But, and he's got some productive, you know, I wouldn't even say criticism, productive thoughts.

Yeah, I don't think any of us are going to complain about them getting more authentic good food here. Yeah, no. So, no. Greg, I appreciate it, my guy. Should we do another caller? Yeah, let's do it. Charlie, trail season has everybody feeling unstoppable. You're out on the snowmobile.

You're out on the snowmobile or the UTV thinking you're the king of the north. King of the north. I'm the king of the north. King of the north. Helmet on, goggles down, confidence sky high. Then you hit one drift wrong. Visibility goes to zero. The hidden stump pops out of nowhere or somebody comes around a corner way too hot.

Now your big weekend turns into you sitting there holding your show. are like, yeah, that ain't right. You've been there, Charlie. Oh, God, that ain't right. Been there, done that. I think it's supposed to feel like that. Nope. So, guys, if a trail ride ends in a wreck and you're dealing with injuries and insurance nonsense,

Nicolet law is the call to fight for you and make sure you're taking care of. So, Charlie, that's why I always keep them on speed dial, just in case I get into some insurance nonsense. I know that Nicolet law is going to fight for me. number on your speed dial miles 1855, Nicolet. It's not how speed dial works, but nickel A. Yeah,

just nickel A. Yeah, here you go. Your call has been forwarded to an classic Timmy Tango. Fucking Timmy Tango is sending us to voicemail. He's probably too busy hanging with a hot mom.

Yeah. Come on, Timmy Tango. Well, hoys, what's up? Well, what happened in the first call there, Timmy Tango? I'm not sure what happens. Sorry, boys. I think you know, but we'll let it slide. How you been, man?

Oh, not too bad. How are you guys? We're good. Are you alone right now, or are you with a cougar? You know, right now, I am alone. I am alone. This morning wasn't. Okay.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on. All right. So, for those that don't know, This is a bellied update from our, from our guy, Timmy Tango, who, Timmy, I want you to get the folks back up to speed. What did we talk about last time? And we want to get an update on where you're at now. Yeah, last time we were talking about how we almost had a cold play 2.0 situation at a concert.

where I was hanging out with a mom and she ended up kissing me and then figuring out later that she was married. Yeah. So, yeah, that's kind of the quick summary of that. The update on that is I did. I didn't. It's crazy what a 22-year-old at a bar can do, a chick at a bar. They somehow found her on Instagram, stalked her. I don't know how they found her.

but ended up finding her. It looks like her marriage is still going strong. Okay. I did not, did not DM her or anything. I figured let's not let her know who I am or my name. Yeah, let's not add insult to injury here. Yeah, but I was happy to hear or see that she still had some photos with her husband. He didn't look like he was a strapping old Marine, so I don't.

think I got to worry about him coming to take my head off. That was the big concern here. You're like, God, if this guy looks like Dana White, I am going to be screwed. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, like you don't ever want to mess with a Marine or like a fire. Like you got them 45 year old, 50 year old firefighters that are just jacked out of their mind. Yeah. It wasn't that. So that's cool. So a friend of yours found her on Facebook and gave you,

gave you the update on where she's at? Yeah. How did they do that? What information did you give that? Do not underestimate the ability of a young woman to find something online, Charlie. Yes, yes. There you go. I don't know, Charlie, I was just talking to these girls that I went to high school with.

And they were like, well, let's find her. And I gave them a few things. And boom, bang, boom. They were like, is this her? And I was like, holy shit, that is her. So they did both of those girls that were helping me find her. They both turned and gave me a high five and said, she is a milf.

Okay. So let's go. I won't send that photo because I'm not going to, we're not popping her up on this episode. No, no, no. We would never do that. So, yeah, we're going to,

we're a good Midwest folk and we're just going to assume she made one bad decision. Uh-huh. And we don't need to crucify her for that. No. No. Yep. No.

We're going to give her grace. Yeah. We're not here to judge. Yeah. So recently, I've been trying to get back in the game with the moms. So when you buy a Ferrari, I don't imagine you take it to the mountains

because that's not its ideal situation for success. Right? You take it to the racetrack. So I, myself, as a 22-year-old male, I want to go to the racetrack like a Ferrari. So I'm going to all the group fitness yoga Pilates class. It's been great. Honestly, I've been going twice a week.

There's a little coffee shop in the gym. gym too. So like after I've been getting to know some of these moms. Some of them are even grandmas. I'm not into that. It's Timmy tango is going after gilts at this. Yeah. It's, it's been really good to get to know them. The hard part is is some women don't like to work out with their wedding rings on. So that coffee time, I've been finding out, you got to look for the ring. We're learning from our mistakes, boys. Yeah, yeah. So during the class, it's kind of like false hope because they're not wearing them. Then they slip them on after. And then you go to coffee, you're like, what the hell?

Yeah. I mean, it could be false hope or it could just be a little obstacle in the road that we can overcome. Oh, my God, Timmy. That we learned. Did we not learn a lesson? No, we did. We did. Okay. So, so we're going to, hopefully, that's only been about the last three, four weeks that I've been doing those. classes. So I love it. It's like, you're like, all right. I'm going to start going to solid core orange theory, yoga class to pick up chicks. And then he just like ends up becoming like really fit and he just has like a group of like gals that he's got a book club with by the end of it.

He's been friend zoned by all the mom. But he doesn't even care because he's just having such a blast with all the older women. It could happen. It could happen. You know, we're going to we're going to try to go from the coffee, coffee time to a little wine night, hopefully soon with them. Are you, is that actually real? Yeah,

I've been hanging out with the moms at the Pilates. That's, I'm telling you. You got invited to wine night? No, no, I'm going to try to start set out some. Yeah,

yeah, no, not, there's not actually wine night yet. So your move is you go to Pilates twice a week and afterwards you just hang out, get a coffee,

and just start talking to these sweats. gals that were in your class. There is some very respectable women there that are amazing to talk to. I don't doubt it at all. And also they're not sweaty, Charlie. They glisten, all right? I'm sweaty after Pilates.

I've done it once. You're a middle-aged man. That makes sense. You know, I found that the 22-year-olds at the bars with me, they don't have much to talk about. And they're just, after the conversation, I'm like, I just found out you're just really blonde and dumb.

This is like this is like Stifler's mom situation. All the younger gals just aren't interesting to you anymore. She's just got so these ladies have so much more

world experience that that can drive it. You know, plus you can hear at a bar you can't eat. Let's talk about that. What are the benefits of an older woman

versus a younger woman, Timmy Tango? Man, I mean, I feel like we're talking the wrong guy. What was that guy's name? We had him on. You guys had him on last week.

He was the 22-year-old date and the 50-year-old. I feel like we need to have a merge call. I need to take some notes from him. Was that the Thanksgiving guy? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I was just saying I want to figure out how that Thanksgiving went.

I do too. All right. Some I just, I'm unable to move past until we address it. Was that a joke at the beginning or did you actually have a situation this morning? No, I was at Pilates this morning. He made it sound like he had a girl over last night.

Yeah. No, that was that Pilates. Okay. And it's great because all the, I'm hoping it's not like a friend's own thing, but all the moms love me because I'm the only young guy in there. There's a few other guys, but I honestly think they might be kind of gay. I don't know. I'm hoping they don't think I'm the gay best friend.

I'm not giving off that vibe. Are they the same dude? Charlie, let's roll play. We're the gals at Pilates. Okay. Oh, I wonder if Timmy's going to be here today.

Oh my God. I love Timmy. I love Timmy. He's just a sassy young man. He is. He is fabulous. You know who we should hook him up with? Carl in your office.

Carl. I was thinking Carl. They would be a perfect match. They would. Maybe he likes to get coffee every time after, maybe we should bring Carl to the class and they can hit it off. Yeah, but let's suss him out first. Let's try to just talk to him and see if they be a good match.

So let's get coffee with them. Yeah. And then maybe we'll invite him out. Yep. And then we can bring Carl so it's not too awkward. That would be great. All right. Let's have a good Pilate.

Cut to a week later. I freaking hope not. I hope that's not. Hey, Timmy, this is our friend Carl. You're like, oh shit. How do I, okay, so if that does happen, how do I shut Carl down without being a... Well, how are the mom shutting you down? I haven't got there yet.

Hopefully it doesn't happen. Hopefully they don't have to shut Timmy down. Don't talk to the third person. Timmy. That's the most Timmy thing I've ever heard. Isn't Timmy a shoot on him? or is Timmy your real name, Timmy Tango? That's my real name.

Okay, okay. I thought you wanted to protect your identity. Did you just say a synonym or an alias? I don't know. I forgot what I said, but I think it was the wrong word. pseudonym. Yeah. Pen name.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I mean, are you a little bit like a dog chasing his tail that if one of these moms actually does want to hook up, are you going to like kind of panic? fold?

I hope not. I didn't think I've panicked and folded the first. There he is. Proven track record. Also, these moms will not let them fold once they decide at this point. So Timmy tango's just along for the ride. What's funny, Charlie, is there's a group of them that think that Timmy's gay. And then there's a group of them that are like, yeah, he clearly wants to sleep with us.

But let's just let him flirt with us because it's kind of nice to feel. something again because my husband hasn't flirted with me in years. Oh yeah. Timmy's doing a service. Yeah, you got to watch out for that, Timmy. Might just be their little play thing. Yeah. We don't want you to get your heartbroken over here, Timmy Tango. No, nope. I don't want to get my heart broken. There's also quite a few just young 30-year-old women that I don't think are moms that I think are single. So I'm not opposed to that either. That's a little closer to the age range. But yeah, I don't want to be used from these moms to just feel something again. Timmy, I don't want you to be in the mindset of having a backup plan, all right?

That's right. Let's burn the boats. There's no going back. Don't say, hey, if it doesn't work out with these moms, I can just settle for a 24-year-old. Yeah, no, no, no, no. We don't want that. It's way too new in the, it's way too early in the new year for you to be. abandoning your resolution.

Yes. And we know your resolution is four letters. And that starts with an M and ends with an F. Yep. Milt. And it's got hill in the middle. Yep. Yeah.

So are you late? So it sounds like you're laying the groundwork right now. You're building trust. Yep. And I'm really getting to know these women. Like they're starting to open up, talk about some just personal things. and I don't know if it's just because I'm hanging around after. Like, they, I'm not just awkwardly in the corner.

I mean, I'm in the conversation with them. But during coffee, they're starting to open up. So it, I'm getting on the inn with them. So that way we can build off of that. What is some wild shit that's being thrown around in these coffee discussions? I mean, it's just, it's kind of weird hearing them talk about their high school kids. There's a few of them in college and they're like, somewhat just shit talking. and I'm like, I kind of feel bad.

These could be my friends right now. What is? I'm drinking beers with them. And you're shit talking because we're drinking beers on a Friday night until two in the morning and then coming home to the house, you know? Yeah, it's just weird. It's just a weird dynamic of them shit talking their kids sometimes or some of them shit talk to their husbands.

But I mean, that's, yeah. It's kind of interesting, though. That's what Anne's doing when she goes to Pilates. No, but I mean, I mean, like to be. be a fly on the wall for what moms say when we're at not around like what kind of shit talking are they doing about their kids timmy tango oh i don't know not like just the one that's just um kind of sticks out to me is just about the his alcohol and how much he's at the bars every weekend and i just kind of sit there like a fly on the wall and act like i'm not doing the same

thing yeah i'm not out drinking beers with the boys every friday night and shutting it down and then figuring out how we get home that night. I act like I'm better, but truly deep down, I know I'm insane. You know. You're living a double life, Timmy Tango. You're just out there killing it at the bar, and then you're just sweating it off, and you think anyone can smell that alcohol on you over at Pilates?

That's like burning it at both ends right there, too. I hope not. I hope it's out of my system by a Tuesday morning. Yeah, I imagine that like his buddies are like, Timmy, we're going out. And he's like, you know what, boys, I just, I don't know, I'm not feeling it. I got Pilates in the morning.

They're like, what the fuck? Yeah. What's he, what's going on? You've changed, man. He's like, you know what? I don't know. There's just a group of gals at Pilates that I'm really close with. And they just kind of open my eyes that what we're doing is just kind of empty, you know?

What? What are you? Yeah. I don't. You guys just wouldn't, you guys just wouldn't understand. And then they're like, fine, stay. He calls up Kara. Kara, can you go pick me up?

I just need someone to talk to right now. Could we just go to a Starbucks for a little bit? Yeah. No, I'm just happy that I haven't seen any of my friends' moms because I know a few of them do go. And there's classes. I mean, there's like three classes a day, five, six days a week. Not that he's memorized.

a schedule or anything. No, I mean, I'm just, I'm just glad I haven't ran into their moms because then they'd be like, what are you doing here? And then I haven't, I've told one of my buddies that I'm doing this, but the other ones don't know. I'm scared. Do you think they'd care? Do you think they're going to be mad if they find out or like, give me some shit? They already know if you told one of your buddies, the rest of them, no.

Yeah. It's out there. They don't talk too much shit behind my back. They'd probably just say it to my face. And that's what I thought about my mom and tell you what you just told me about the Pilates shit talking about their kids. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I mean, yeah.

Yeah, true. I don't think anyone's shit talking. I mean, if anyone's going to shit talk to us, it would be we would do it right to your face. We think it's hilarious. Okay. Yeah. I mean, if you two, that's all I'm looking for approval. I don't need my, the boys, they're just drunk ass.

They just don't get it. You know? They haven't experienced the mom life yet, like I have. You've made out with one mom. Let's call it. Is it just one? Yeah. Yeah, that I can think of.

Yeah. Just one. Okay. But he had that little taste, you know? Yeah. He had caviar one time and now he's like, I can't go back to pizza. That's like the little, that guy who puts the Zen on top of the ant hill and then all the answers. just go up.

I will be their supreme leader in no time. All right. So you're laying the groundwork. What is the next move? Probably made it that far yet, boys. Just been consistent. Consistency is key in these situations. I hear you got to date your best friends.

So I'm just trying to become good friends with these women so that I can get in on the inside. They feel safe with me. then we moved to the wine night. Like Buddy last week was saying when the woman, when the mom gets wine in her, she gets crazy. Just like him, I'm going to be a respectable man and I'm going to shut things down so they don't go too far.

She doesn't regret anything. No, that's smart. But the next day then at Pilates, you can see if those feelings were legitimate. And then we're going home to do cardio. Yeah. Straight to work. We don't take any time off after Pilates.

You know, Timmy, you're a straight shooter, man. Very respectful. Yeah, it won't be obvious to the whole group. You're like, yeah, I'm not doing coffees today, ladies, see ya. And then she's like, yeah, I'm not doing coffee today either. You guys leave. They, yeah. So, like, my, so if that happens and my friends are around,

they're like fist pumping, like, jacked because I just left with this mom. Do you think the other moms are happy for her? Jealous. jealous jealous the fellas too are there's some fellas in there that are jealous but they're fist bumping anyway you know i'm sure i'm sure you got a mix of both but timmy uh give yourself some credit man you're showing up to pilates twice a week and you're a young strapping 23 year old guy there's more than one mom and they're thinking some uh some things about you and some of them want to act but they can't and so I'm guessing there's going to be some jealousy going on here. So you have to have kind of pinpointed one or two prospects that you're like, this is probably going to be my best chance here. Yeah.

Is that accurate? Yep. All right. How many of them are there? Three. Okay. So there's a good. It's just like high school all over again.

You got your groups. You got the kind of really fit like muscular checks. I'm pretty sure I do CrossFit. they've got to be lesbian too so they're off not into that right you got the the ones that are very botoxy they just a lot of plastic surgery i don't want all that that comes with a lot of baggage so i'm i'm looking for more than natural there's about three of them that are pretty natural that i haven't seen them with wedding rings on so you're a so you're a big natural guy yeah yeah and with a good personality that's natural too okay okay so

Well, let's break it down. What are the three gals that, you know, what do you like about each one of them? Jenna, she's, she is, I mean, I probably shouldn't say there. You know what, screw it. There's no way somebody's going to find it. There's probably multiple jennas that go to Pilates, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're good.

She's very genuine. And these three women are confirmed, not married? I'm 90% sure. I mean, I've had multiple conversations. Do you say 9%? 90. Okay. Okay.

So what about, what do you like about Jenna? I mean, she's genuine. She acts like she's actually invested and cares about me. You know, you don't ever want to walk into a room and, like, feel like somebody just always talking about themselves. So she's asking questions about me, asking me how the weekend was. She just seems like she's interested in me. That's probably the number, my number one prospect, my number one recruit that I'm going for. four five star five star recruit for yeah blue chipper is what you're saying yeah dying what's jena's

best asset her best asset i don't frick boys you're putting me on the spot uh i know the next one's best asset well hang on it's one hang on before we go to the next one let's stick on jennifer's what do you know about the next one's best asset and why okay we'll get to the next one in a sec What do you like about Jenna? What do you know about her? What's her best asset? I just, her personality. Okay.

All right. Okay. Well, what do you know about her? I know she works at a law firm. Oh. She drives a pretty nice Bronco. That's the other thing. She's like pretty nice, which could mean one of two things.

I'm thinking since she works at a law firm, she can afford it. Or she just comes with a lot of debt. again she's 45ish I think I'm not trying to assume her age but I'm sure she can afford and kind of live on her own so I'm not trying to provide for this woman if if not it's the other way around you know you go you're for a sugar mama yeah yeah yeah so that's that's that's Gianna Lily um her I don't know much about her but she is drop dead gorgeous um just perfect like me I have a dream and that's the woman in that dream you know what does she look like so what's her best asset her best assets probably her boobs I'm a straight shooter boys I told you I don't know much about her she's the number two prospect he's a big natural guy yeah big natural

guy and I don't know they might not be natural they're that perfect uh I wouldn't doubt it she's she's she's if I had to guess about 38 though So, okay, these aren't milfs, dude. Well, their mom, they are. No. 38. That's frickin' mouth enough, Charlie. I can't be that.

You're confusing milf and cougar, Charlie. Yeah, okay, okay. But you're like, this is like a harsh reality for you? I could have gone to high school with her, dude. Yeah, this is a harsh reality for you. You're entering Cougar territory. Well, you're age. Yeah, I know.

I know. I didn't realize Cougars were my. peers now. All right. So girl gal number two is an absolute rocket. And yeah, okay. All right. Yep. Girl number three, I mean, I don't, I, I, I, it could be a toss up. You know, like, like you were saying, Miles, we're, we're, we're not shooting for plan B and C. I mean, hopefully not plan B. We're definitely not shooting for that. Well, 45 year old gal, you should be good on plan B. Yeah, we should be good. I need that. Oh, you never know. That's a. great, that's also another great conversation starter when I'm with these women is like,

hey, have we hit that time? Are we through menopause? Do I have to worry about these movies? That's, uh, I've heard that that is also a really good one to go with. Yeah, lead with that one. Lead with that. Yeah. I think what you're looking for is probably premenopause and not necessarily I'm all the way through. Yeah, yeah. I, I usually ask the lesbian crossfiters out because I just don't really care about them. So I just piss them off, you know? my God. You've asked you. You're okay. So yeah, that's where I'm at there. So girl number three, you're like, yeah, that's just not going to happen. Yeah. I think she has a few kids that are my age. The other ones want, so one of them that I'm like, that could happen. She has like a nine-year-old

and I think she is divorced. I know she's divorced. So nine-year-old, that could be cool. I mean, could be a dad. I mean, like, you can go fishing together and shit, you know. Yeah, that that is where I'm like, I could be dad, you know. Other, like the one that, the other one that I'm thinking of, her kids are like late high school. Those more are like drinking buddies here in a year. Okay. So I'm not so much dad to them.

I can't wait for the day when you invite some of these moms out to hang out, hang with your boys. when you combine your worlds, you know? I don't know if we're combining those worlds, dude. I think you should try, man. Should we? Yeah, I think you, you were selecting one as a partner, but you're selecting a couple as drinking buddies. Okay.

I think it could really open up the game with you and your fellas. Okay. That could work. So has any of these women alluded to that they are interested in you? Like, other than just genuine conversation, Has there been any sort of flirting going on? You know, I'm terrible. I can't ever catch a sign.

You know, I would like to think so. But then there's been times at the bars where I'm like, dude, this checks into me. And then my boys are like, she's the bartender. More wrong, right? Yeah, exactly. She's the bartender. Like, she's just worked for the tip. No, but I think so.

I don't know yet, though. Like I said, it's still a little fresh. I would like to think there's some that are interested and flirty, but I don't know if that's just because they're being friendly with the kid that's their son's age and they think it's funny that I'm there or not, you know? What do you think they say about you when you're not there? I probably just how big my biceps are and how good looking I am and that I'm just, I'm kind of a one of a kind because you don't see very many kids like me.

super humble. Yeah, that nice. He's comfortable in his masculinity that he's going to Pilates with a bunch of women. Exactly. Exactly. So, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of where I'm at now. I don't have much more.

Okay. So the next plan is to get an invite to wine night. Yep. And maybe I initiate wine night. Yes. I would like if you initiate wine. If you initiate wine night, bellied up will cover the wine.

Yes. Okay. We will, Miles will Venmo you. We're going to have expensive taste. So we're, and we're still willing to do it. Yep.

We are, we are not afraid to fund the barefoot. We're not afraid at all. The, the Josh wine. The Josh wine. The, what's the stuff that comes in the box?

Francia. Francia. Fransia. 23 years old. I usually did drink Coors Light. So I don't know anything that you're saying right now. No, we're... That's the next thing, dude.

That could be your end, dude. You're like, so I heard you guys talking about wine. I am obviously pretty new to this whole thing. I'm really interested in getting it a wine. Do you think you guys can help me out? Yeah. Is that the end? Go fishing for it.

Get their recommendations. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you can, Oh, we should maybe have a wine night. I don't know. One of these.

Do you guys do wine night? Like, how do you know so much about wine? You know, something like that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just so we don't have to fund this, just fish around first so you can get the invite. And then if that doesn't work, we'll do that. All right.

All right. So poke around in there. Just ask the one you like the most if she's into wine. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. That'll work. I think that's, I was, that's what I was going to ask.

My next question was, how do I, how do I get the invite? But I think you guys just answered that before I asked. Yeah. Ugly, don't, don't try and get invited. Just be curious about wine and then let it unfold. Yeah, you should watch, watch one YouTube video on wine. And that should give you enough to pull from, I think. Okay.

Legs. Legs. Tannins. Tannins. Pallet. Yep. Finishes. Yep.

Let's see here. What else? The right glass. A full body. Right? There's a, yeah, full body. Just don't get weird with it. Say like, hey,

how do you know if you like legs or something? You know what I mean? Don't just shoot your words carefully. And also, wine is a very flirty drink. You know, you could be like, you're at the wine night, Charlie. You're like, wow, I really like the legs. on this wine. Oh, yeah.

You can, a lot of innuendoes. Is that what you're saying? This wine must work out quite a bit. The legs on this thing. I can see this going so right. I can tell you this. This wine is got an absolutely full body.

Yeah. You're going full anchor, man with this. I cannot wait until I see how this wine finishes. You know? Damn. You're on it. It's almost.

like you've done this before, Miles. Oh, I haven't, but I don't know. Every time we go out with Penn, you really like the wine. Miles got a, Miles and I, we've done a few shoots with Penn Holderness, who's a big wine guy and Miles. I'm just fascinated by people who know a lot about wine or at least appear to know a lot about wine. I know. I get jealous of Penn because Miles just turns all his attention toward Penn every time Penn's around and just doesn't talk to me at all. Oh, God, I talk to you enough. Now, that's, that's true, actually. And by the way, I should I ask Timmy Tangle.

Sorry, to wrap that up. You didn't try that plan, you know? Which plan? You guys just went on about four different things. The legs in full body and finish it. Basically just find all the different sexual jokes I can make out of wine. So they're not jokes. They're endo windows.

They're innuendos, Miles, not indewendos. Sorry, I just got the wrong thing on my brain, you know. doing an innuendo about innuendo. He's a do or not a don'ter, all right, Charlie? I'm going to advise against Miles's tactic there. No, I'm not. I'm not. You know, I'm 22 years old. How could I be against it?

Like, that's right up my alley of all those innuendos. Well, I tried. And how you accomplished that is just by longer than normal eye contact when you deliver the line, and that's going to tell you everything you need to know. either I abort this plan or yeah, yeah. Let's go to step two. I'm trying to actually make this work.

So I'm going to give you another. It might work, dude. Older gals love soap operas. It's very soap opera. It's very soap opera, you know. Yeah. It's like an episode of Young and Restless, you know. And you could be that young and restless.

Oh, I am that young and restless. I'm just waiting for the one to see that I am. And then she can be the bold and the beautiful, you know? Yeah. Okay, so maybe start practicing a little bit. Why don't you get yourself a starter bottle of wine and spend the night just watching one episode of Young and Restless? See how far you make it.

And I think to put the icing on the cake, when you inevitably end up at wine night and this is your plan, you have to wear a mock turtleneck. Oh, you definitely have to wear a turtleneck with a chain outside. Yeah. Yeah. And it's got to be tucked into your jeans. with a belt.

Okay. I got the picture of my head. I should be good. There's literally no failure with this plan. How could it go wrong? You know, like Charlie, we give a lot of advice in this podcast, and most of the time you can sense

from the person we're talking to that they're not going to do said advice. I am getting a little bit of a vibe that this, like he may follow this step by step. Timmy Tango is a doer. I mean, the fact that he is doing two, two classes a week. Two Pilates class a week.

This guy is doing for the commitment. We're proud of you. And yeah, I can't wait to see what happens here. Timmy Tango. I fully intend to do it. I'm not. You guys are my teachers right now. Are you going to go full mock turtleneck?

All right. Maybe not that part. We'll see. We'll see. But I fully intend to do most of what you're saying. Okay. So. Okay.

Yeah. Well, we're... Yep. Go ahead, Charlie. No, I'd just say we want updates. I trust me, I'll call you with updates. You know, I was just, I was getting ready to text Jared and tell him. And then he texted me yesterday.

And I was like, at first I was like, who the frick is texting me to call me? I honestly thought it might have been one of the Pilates' moms at first. Oh, he got a little excited. I'm like, I have conversation with it. And I was like, oh, it's Jared. It's my boy, Jared. and then kind of killed the vibe. Don't sound too disappointed by that.

Oh, no, it was good. Jared, the official boner killer. Blue balls. Yeah, Blue balls, cock blocker. My bad. But no, I was getting ready to text to you guys when I got a little bit more into this routine of twice a week, Pilates. But, you know, we'll see what happens now after wine night.

Hopefully I get successful there. And then I'll call back in and we'll get the, this update it for Timmy Tango's part three. Okay. All right. I love it. Yeah. Well, good luck, man. You are now on a journey. There's kind of no turning back. I feel like I am. So, yeah, I feel like I'm not even interested in the girls my age anymore. Once you get the maturity level of a woman, not a young woman, but a woman, you know, a real woman, just all the other girls are, that ain't yet. Yeah. Yeah. You've been bitten by

the bug and you're biting back. All the young gals are just a postcard from Paris when you've seen the real thing. Yep. And you know the natural thing that happens after that too. I'm sure you've seen it is they just want you even more. Yep, seen that

for sure. Once they know they can't have you. I had this girl on New Year's that she was a good New Year's kiss. She was pretty. I'm not going to lie. But she I just wasn't into it. You know, I wanted the bombs. And she, I gave her her and her friends, I was D-D and so I gave him a ride home and dropped her off, walked her to the door and she gave me the old, you want to come in for an apartment to her? And I was like, well, sure, I'll see the apartment. Walk in and wasn't, I didn't know what was, I mean, I figured what she wants, right? And I walk in and I went to look around and I see that her oven, she was telling me earlier about how she cooks pizza before she goes to the bar. So when she gets home, she can eat. Look over and her.

ovens that's sitting at 400 degrees and I was like, see, this is why. Like if I bring these girls home, they're going to burn my house. If I bring mom home, she's going to cook me the best damn meal I had after the bars. Like priority. So I looked at her and I said, I'm pretty sure it's not four in the morning. She's like, no, it's 2.15. And I said, why is your oven say four in the morning then? She's like, oh, I think you've left it on.

So basically just said, nice apartment. I'm out of here, Joe. it was too hot too hot you had to turn it down yeah you forgot to change your clock after daylight savings daylight savings four months ago yeah but yeah so uh i like it i like the plan i'll let you guys know here in a month or two how it's going um we should be invested either the plan should be going perfectly at that point or it's just going to be a bust and we're going to have to figure out a new plan. Well, we're here for whatever way we need to recalibrate it. Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Thanks, boys. Good talking to you, Timmy.

Timmy, be good. It's always a pleasure talking to you, boys. I love it. Pleasure's all ours. Oh, stop it, Charlie. No, it is. I just have, I hate to do it. I do enjoy you guys both, but I have to do it. How about them bears, Charlie? You want, Timmy? Timmy? He's going so good. Yeah, we were having a nice thing and I knew where you're going, but...

I don't. I had to. I'm sorry. That's fine. You just got one less bottle of wine at wine night, Timmy. All right? You got one less bottle, one more box. Okay.

Miles will sign the other check. He'll be good. Yeah. If you keep that up, I'll get you any wine you want. Yeah, exactly. Hey, that reminds me real quick, last thing. I always find it funny when at the end of these calls, these guys are sometimes gals too they're like oh yeah Charlie I see you're coming around my part

of the world here soon and then they're like oh yeah I guess I just haven't gone around to getting tickets yet like come on Karen just ask for Charlie for free tickets miles of seven in your way stop being around the bush damn does that happen I mean I'm sure you guys have caught on it does that happen I wouldn't know I would usually I offer them don't I no no what he says they're baiting you into it Charlie. Oh, so next, all right. So next time, that's funny. I like this.

Next time someone starts talking about the show, they want to go, but they haven't bought tickets, don't offer them up and just see how long they'll go before asking. This really plays into my New Year's resolution, which is to be less of a people pleaser. Yeah. Now, can you make an amendment to that? Yes.

And just add like, but you need to be more of a people pleaser to, me. That's funny. The funny thing about people pleaser is you're just more of a people pleaser to the people you know the least. Yeah, I wish you'd please the people you know the best. I know. Yeah. Well, the less time I have to please Randos, the more time I have to please you, Miles. Okay. I'd love it if you pleased me a lot more in 2026. I will be pleasing you. And Timmy, Timmy Tango is going to be Timmy tangling it up with a few. Uh, Hey, if you can get, if this can be a successful thing, you're going to be no longer Timmy Tangle.

You're going to be Timmy Tangle. Tangled. Tangle, I like it. Timmy entangledment. Timmy entangled in the moms from the lives. Yep. Yeah, in the ones. All right, Timmy.

All right, Miles. Charlie, it was good talking to you. And you guys have a go. And we'll talk to you here in a few months. Sounds good, Timmy. You know, P. keeps hanging with these moms. He's going to have to go to Timothy. Yeah. I don't know how long Timmy's going to work with the mom game, you know.

I hope he's not introducing himself as Timmy. Also, I love how he's like, yeah, there's no, there's a lot of Jennas that go. And it's like, okay, but if they just listen to the episode, you describe that Jenna's exact situation. Right. Her car and everything. So I don't know that we have a huge audience in the Pilates world. You never know. But count on Timmy to start having a couple of wines and start chit-chatting. Talking about a podcast he listens to and then they listen. They listen to it.

And then they realize Timmy's had a plan. It could move up the timeline if Jenna finds this podcast and then we can get her on and get her side of the story. That would be wonderful. Jenna, if you're out there. I love to chat with you about this. Yeah. Call us from your Bronco. All right.

Is that it, Jared? All right, guys. Well, another great episode in the books. Yeah, wonderful episode. Super fun. It's great being with you here, Miles. I'm going to have to try that old fashion. Oh, yeah.

You bet you'll bet you old fashion. I'm going to try that next here at the Cleveland Pub, New Berlin. New Berlin. All right, guys. Well, thanks for tuning in. And we'll see you next one. And remember to what, Charlie? Miles, you always want to tip your bar.

bartender. See the next one. Okay, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now. Oudaloo.