Bellied Up - We Take Illinois To Therapy #131

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Welcome, welcome, welcome. All you beautiful people out there. I see you. I see all of you. I see your pets too. You guys look phenomenal. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

I'm here with my buddy, my Christmas Mary, Mary Chrysler. You don't remember that vine? No. You guys remember that vine, right? Yeah. I'm old miles. Yeah. Jesus.

I'm old. Hey Jesus. The reason for this season Season it's Christmas time. Oh, oh, oh you beautiful bastards now listen I'll tell you this much we of course record these earlier. Yep in the year So it's not looking a lot like Christmas out here. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas I'll go low. Soon the bell will ring and Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum,

Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum knows that's on home alone. I think. Oh yeah. That's true. Well, since everybody turned off the podcast now, also we got a bellied update for you. This one via message. Oh yeah. What's the deal? Remember the guy that called in and he was trying to get out of his company picnic. Yeah. Yeah. He said, great talking to you guys. Ended up getting out of the company picnic in less than 10 minutes. Oh wow. Well, not so fast Charlie. He said your advice did not help, but is appreciated. So I wonder what he did. It's always nice to get an attaboy. That is, that is, I do wonder what he did to get out in 10 minutes. I don't know. Anyway, nothing we said. Yeah, apparently. But Charlie, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.

You miles, what do you want for Christmas this year? Uh, actually, and, and I tie. So I, and I don't usually do gifts for each other. Okay. You know, I I'm still riding that. Well, I got you a house and a wedding ring. Oh yeah. That's your last year. Yeah. I'm surprised it's still lasting. Yeah. It's starting. I'm on borrowed time with that. Okay. But we did have a discussion. We're like, we gotta, we gotta get a nice comforter for our bed. Oh yeah. You still doing your college fun kind of weird stains on it. You can't remember. We just flipped that. Oh, we don't look at that side. Oh, that side faces down now, which is also a whole nother host. Yeah. That's right on your face. But yeah, we're like, we're like, all right, we have a kid now. I think it's time that we upgrade the comforter from like

the shit I've had since college. Yeah. I don't think I've ever bought a nice comforter in my life. Yeah. It's where we're going to finally do it. How much is that going to run you? Now the one issue I have is I think I'm allergic to down. You're a down allergen, huh? So we had a- Are you not a duck guy? We had a down pillow, you know? Yeah. And I would be fine all day and then I'd get to go to bed and I would start like coughing

and my nose would get plugged and all this stuff. Finally one day I put it together. I took the pillow, put it in the other room and I was fine. No kidding. So I have to find a synthetic down comforter for my bed. Duvet as they say in the French world. Really? I don't know if that's French or not, but it sounds like.

I can't believe, I gotta be honest with you Myles. My brain would not have gone to, I have a pillow allergy. It would have gone to like, I have some sort of sleeping cancer. I mean, I can't believe you thought that one day might be the pillow. Yeah. I mean, do you have a cat or a dog anymore? It was cause we had gotten new pillows. So then I was like, okay, ever since we got those new pillows, some's been going on. Oh, okay. And would be getting pissed because I would be coughing and whatever. And she's trying to sleep.

That makes more sense. That makes a distance. Just come out of nowhere. You got some new pillows. That's what you get for trading. Now you got to be careful though with this. I got to get the synthetic down comforter where it's huge, a huge Christmas though for the Montplager household, new, new bedding.

So I'd say, you know, you're getting old, Charlie, you get excited household new new bedding so I'd say you know you're getting old Charlie get excited about getting new bedding you know but we spend most of our life doing it that's true even third of your life miles I'm gonna get you some silk undies okay yeah maybe I should get some silk sheets as well silk sheets it's cool then the problem is that I'll just be slipping out of bed I got just absolutely zero friction whatsoever. I was gifted silk pajamas at one point. Oh, you want to feel like a million bucks.

Who's unless it's your girlfriend who is my girlfriend. OK, I was going to say you're getting like your aunt's giving you silk pajamas. You got to you're going to be worried. Yeah, I did. I don't even know if they're expensive or not, but they feel really good. Yeah. You just sit there. Silk, baby. It's great. I got to turn it on. Yeah. I'll let you borrow. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. I don't wear them very often because, you know, I you don't know. It's not like lounge. You feel like you're going to rip them all the time. You know, I already put a hole in them accidentally. I was fixing the sink anyways. That is a sight to see. Charlie Barron's fixing the sink in his silk pajamas. Yeah.

Yikes. Yeah. That's a disaster. Yeah. What do you want for Christmas, Charlie? That's a good question, Miles. You know what? Why do I want anything when I got it all here with you at the bar to a belly dumps and you

find people Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night when you have good people in your life, you need nothing more in your heart. That's true. Right? Yeah. Tyler quit shaking your head over there. An absolute suck up. Tyler's people already bought tickets to your show.

You don't need to schmooze them up, all right? Tyler's shaking his head. I was telling Tyler yesterday, I spent a lot of time telling him how he had the best mustache that I've seen in a while. Come here, Tyler, just show the people. I mean, look at this. I mean, adult film star or top gun extra.

I mean, he's got it. You don't like it? No, he's wearing his shirt. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. That's funny. Yeah. You can find these on oubetty.com.

Wow. Well, maybe not by then. They might not be at the site anymore, but maybe. Bring them in and get some plug-in. Those are nice shirts. Speaking of Charlie, if you guys wanna to get something for Christmas for significant other, you got the road hunt for ditch chicken sweatshirt. I'm wearing the shirt. Go check it out. Oh, you betcha.com.

You can also go to man to augment that comma. If you want to get my stuff or Charlie Bairns that comfort tourist, is that what you do when you do crowd work at the shows? When you go somewhere, is he just pander like you just did with the Christmas thing? There, I rewatch that show. God dang. There was a lot of crowd work and even I was like, dude, get back on the stage. I promise you that won't be that much this time. You liked it. Oh, he's like, it was way better than your regular stuff. No, the crowd was funny. Well, I take that back.

I take it back. Yeah. Miles, you know, I think we could sit here all freaking day, but we got gifts to open Charlie. We do have gifts. The gifts being the beautiful colors that call into this show. Should we open a present? Let's friggin do it, Miles. Let's open a present. Oh, welcome to the Bellied Up podcast. Who are we talking to today? Hi, it's Shannon. Shannon, what's cooking? Belly up to the bar. Tell us what's on your mind. Oh, not too much. I just want to know why it's so hard to buy any kind of presents for men,

especially in the Midwest. I never know what to get for my husband. Wow. Shannon, first of all, where are you from? You got a beautiful accent. Oh, well, originally I was born in North Carolina, but I live in Wall wall South Dakota. Now you live in wall South Dakota, home of the wall drug home of the wall drug. I called you guys

maybe like a year and a half ago and you guys gave me some great advice on how not to hit beer. That's why it sounds familiar. Did I get this? Did you get the same reaction when you said you were from wall South Dakota? Did I do the same exact thing? Let's just cut that bit in here. Okay. So now we heard that. So yeah, cut in the, so I can skip all of the, how much I love wall drugs scenario, clip that in. And now we're here. Now we're here. So talk to you again. You can't get your husband. Nothing. Huh? You don't know. You have no idea. Well, no. And I mean, how did I ask him? He's like, well, I just buy what I want or he wants me to buy like stacks for his semi, which are

like 4,000 bugs. Yeah. Oh yeah. What do I want for Christmas? I could use a new boat, maybe a camper. Honestly, if you could buy me a pole barn as well, that'd be nice. He just gives you big presents that are way out of the league. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Or if it's like little things, he just buys themselves. And then I feel like an asshole if I don't get him anything. Yeah, you got to get him something. Huh? This isn't it. Well, give us his give us the things that he likes to do.

Miles and I'll take it from there. Ah, I don't know. He's a farmer and that's about all he talks about all the time. I'm an almanac. An almanac? That would be cool. That would be really cool. Make him something. Make him...

You can make him like some for the bull to collect the sperm or something like that. We don't have any livestock. The only farm. Oh, the only farm. Only does was he far. Yeah. Corn. Winter wheat, spring wheat, safflower and Milo. Oh wow. I like that flower. I'll be darned. So the milkers are out, Charlie. Yeah, OK, I get it. Wait, not milkers. You can call it that if you want. Certain websites, they may call it that.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Miles, my, my, my. So he farms. So his hobbies, his whole life is farming, essentially. But he's got a semi too. Oh, so he's driving truck for the farm as well. Yeah, like today he's driving about four hours away for staff flower to sell a staff flower. I know what you can get them. I know exactly what you can get them. You can get them. He's

okay. So he's a farmer body's going through a lot of aches and pains and also he's sitting driving for a long period of time. Get him one of those Theragons. So yeah, it's a little, little ball at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen those? Yeah. Yeah. I've tried. He doesn't. I try like when he's sore, like, Oh, do you want me to give you a massage on your back? And he's like, no, I don't like people touching me. Sounds like a real mid-west man. Now listen, but you're not, you're not touching him. So I love that he says that to his wife. You're not touching these guns. I have no idea.

When we're doing it, there's no foreplay. I don't want you touching me too much. You know, I'm a straight to business guy. We're going three pumps and we're out of here. All right. All right. And we're keeping our clothes on too. I mean, we do have two kids. So it's not like I never touch him, but yeah, but he's efficient, you know, yeah. Before we go too far down that road on the Christmas holiday, let's just, let's do a little Y turn. Like why were we even touching that subject? How much or is it Theragun there?

Jake, how much is that thing? Can we look up a third? Do you think he'd like a massager? I'm going to get a little bit of a Yeah, I do. What do you mean really, Miles? What do you mean really? What are you talking about? What's the issue? What's the issue with the Theragun? My mom listens to this. I'm not going further with that. Oh, okay. Well, I don't know if you guys

have ever experienced this thing. It's really wild. Buddy of mine got one and he put it on my back and it got like the knot out. Now I tried it on the other part and it kind of messed up that arm. You got to be careful with the pressure. And yes, Miles, it could work for some other things. But more to my point, he is driving a lot.

You know, he's gone a lot. Miles, I was saying she could use it to massage herself. I know. That's what I'm saying too. All right. Well, so there's three purposes for this. Really? Um, it's a gift that keeps on giving. It does. Um, yeah. Now let's, we'll take a U E, you know, we'll, we'll, let's go to a different subject. What else you want to, um, he seems like a guy who would love to have a chair. Does he have a thing in the living room where it's his chair? He's got a recliner that he sits in every single day. Does he have one of those already? Yes, he does. I

mean, it's getting a little old at this point, but yeah, he kicks everyone out of it. If they're sitting in it. Okay. I was gonna say if he didn't, he seems like a guy who should have one of those. So that's out. And also I could see that you're saying it's getting old and I can see a little spark in your brain being like, maybe I should get him a new chair. That is no, that is a huge mistake. It's finally getting to where it's cupping his butt cheeks the correct way. You know, he's finally broken into where it's now it's like a baseball mid. That'd be like he gets a baseball man, puts it under the mattress for three weeks, gets a bad back, breaking that sucker in. And then just like that, you buy him a new one. It's a disaster.

Yeah, he's in the sweet spot of the chair. He's probably got his favorite stains, knows exactly how much changes in it if it comes to that. You know, don't fix what ain't broken. All right, all right, I won't do that then. That's like my mom putting my dad's coffee mug in the dishwasher. It's just, you just can't season.

Yeah. Seasoned this can't do that. You can't drink your coffee without that. That after hint of mold, you know, that's like blue cheese. Um, what it will tell us this. What have you been thinking about getting him? I've gotten him some shirts in the past. I always make fun of him that he's like a cartoon character because all he wears

is jeans and a dicky shirt. Like doesn't matter if we're going to a wedding, a funeral church, I will say the same thing. I like your husband. I'm liking them more and more. The more we talk, the more I'm liking them. What else? What else have you gotten them shirts? By the way, probably there's probably not doing much for him.

You know, I hate to say it, but no, I got him. He's like a big Duke basketball fan. I've gotten him some Duke stuff. He likes to play. He doesn't like him some Duke stuff. He likes Duke. But he doesn't. Why is he like Duke? Duke sucks.

What? Yeah. Duke is great. I don't know, he grew up as a Duke fan and then he got lucky that he married someone from North Carolina that he was taking to games. That actually is my bad. That's very lucky.

Yeah. Well, that is really cool. Dude, that's it. Just get them some tickets to a game. That actually is my bag. That's very lucky. Yeah. That, well, that is really cool. Dude, that's it. Just get them some tickets to a game. Yeah. That's a good idea. Well, what's, what's your budget? Give us a budget roughly. Oh, I mean, cause that's a long way to go like thousands of dollars, but maybe a thousand dollars coach K can't be that expensive. Oh, you'd be surprised. Yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, Duke, you and C game. Does Duke ever come to South Dakota? No. What about Minnesota? No one comes to South Dakota. No. What about Minnesota?

No one comes to South Dakota. Do they come somewhere in driving distance or no? I mean, you guys could do a drive to a game. Oh, you know what would be great? There's this great comedian, what's his name? He's got tickets on sale now, Charlie Barons, CharlieBarons.com. Could be a great place for some last minute Christmas gifts

if not you, someone else. Sorry, I don't know what happened there. Um, what else? What else could we get? I think you just go experience maybe, uh, um, yeah, does he like, uh, well, does he like vacationing? Does he like taking time off? That's the other problem. No, I can't ever get them to go anywhere. Just get yourself a gift and tell them it's for him. And then one doesn't use it. Yeah. Do what my mom did back in the day. Get my dad TiVo so she could record all of her shows. That is the only move in this scenario. Yeah. Get them. Yeah. Now what we want to know is what do you want for Christmas? Oh gosh. I don't know. A new house, but that's never going to happen. You guys are a match made in heaven. He wants $4,000 part for his semi and you want a new house. So you guys have been married. Sounds like about 10, 15

years at this point. About seven. So close. All right. Well, why don't you just do that? Just say, Hey, let's spend some money this year. We'll get a new house. You can get your truck part and then we're good for 10 years. We're not getting each other gifts. Yeah, Yeah. That would probably work. There we go. Problem solves another satisfied. You betcha customer or bellied up customer. Damn it. Damn it. I gave miles of plug on that. Well, it made up for my other plug. That's karma coming about.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. You guys have a good day. Yeah. We appreciate you calling in. Tell your husband. We says hi. Sure. Well, you guys watch out for deer. All right. Real good. Bye bye now.

Yeah. It's a tough one. Miles. Like I have a feeling like when it comes to you and and that you're kind of the guy who says anything I want to get, don't get me anything. No, like we quite literally have said we don't get each other gifts. Yeah, I guess you said that at the beginning of this thing. And then you talked about the comforter and. Yeah. So but I forget, you know, so it's good to be reminded. Yeah What about your mom does your mom get you a Christmas present? What is your mom's clothes clothes? Do you like to close good clothes your mom's good clothes?

That's nice. Yeah, I actually need some new clothes because I you know not to brag lost a bunch of weight and I Donated my old clothes They don't fit anymore. Oh, he says a good person. Hundred shirts I donated to get a tax deductible receipt after that. I know I should. I should, shouldn't I? Probably should. You know me, I'm always looking for a good write off.

Yeah. God damn it. I didn't think about that. Does your mom, your mom gets you clothes and yet you print all your own merchandise. I know. Well, it's like button ups, you know, something to wear to Easter. Do you ever think about sewing your own button ups, miles? No, no, no, it sounds like a disaster. I just wonder if you ever get into fashion like that. And we got a canvas vest found on. Oh, you betcha.com. Oh, HH. You betcha.

They're thirty nine ninety nine. Actually, you betcha.com. Oh, HH. You betcha. They're 39 99. Actually, they might be cheaper than that by now. So go check out what the current price of those suckers. We might even have marked them down even more. You want, I think the audience is getting sick of all these fricking plugs. Charlie Barron's.com for sure. Take another car. Let's do it. All right, folks. We got Jayden the bartender here, a bellied up IRL. Yes. He was the guy that's been bringing us some beers and refilling our water. I feel like I've been slacking. Your beer here is empty. I know. What does your shirt say? Shit show shit show supervisor. That's really good. That on a T-shirt. It is. Who made that? I

made this one. Did you? Oh, you oh miles you got some competition I know miles I feel like you should do a little negotiation on this one by the rights maybe yeah, that's great yes the other regulars around here I come around with funny shirts pretty much every time I have a shift really that do you print yourself Wow Wow you know what Ryan the t-shirt guys been kind of a piece of shit lately. So we've been kind of looking to find someone new anyways. So maybe I'll have to get your, get your information. It's not a bad idea. And even if it doesn't work out, at least it'll get Ryan back on his toes. That's true. Keep them guessing on the hot seat. Yeah.

Yeah. Just bring them in and put them in the office right next to Ryan. Yeah. Give him Ryan's office. Yeah. Put all his t-shirts on the wall. You know, you see these, these are funny. Now, Jayden, we got some stuff to discuss. All right. Cause last episode we were talking about talking to a pole vaulter with a tandem bike and you said something that could have knocked me off my bar stool. Tell the folks. Yeah. In high school I did pole vaulting for a little while. And as of right now we have a tandem bike sitting at home. Wow. It's not a seven person bike but Charlie what are the chances. What are the chances miles that we have a pole vaulter

tandem bike owner. Now you make the tandem bike yourself. No, we did not one of my roommates owns it So you and your roommate bought a tandem bike? He bought it. He bought it before I became his roommate, but we're looking for chances to ride it around Can I just say that's a weird purchase? Did he have a girlfriend? He did he did okay And he doesn't have a girlfriend. He still has has her okay, do they ride around on that together more during the summer Yeah, winter with a chance figure

How not really okay? Have you gotten on it? I have gotten on at once was it fun campus It's a lot of fun Were you riding a tandem just by yourself or was your roommate on the back or my roommate was on the front? He was steering it. I was just the power. You were the power. So yeah, that's that's an issue for me because I was thinking if I get on tandem bike, I just look like I'm pedaling and everyone else is doing all the work. Yeah, I mean, especially on a seven person one. That's kind of an interesting question. I haven't really been on a tandem a bunch. What is the harder place to be in the front or the back?

I would say probably the back seat because you can't steer. It's all up to the person in the front. So I'm trying to turn the handles and it's not doing it. Is it kind of like a bobsled where like you yell out commands to, to lean one way when you're turning or no, probably be pretty efficient to do that. Yeah, we didn't try it. That's funny. See, a tandem bike sounds like a cute idea, you know, if you're a couple. But I was sitting by this river one time and I saw all these people coming by in kayaks and the double kayaks, the two person kayaks.

I think I saw like four marriages break up that day. Like everybody in a double kayak was so frustrated and pissed with each other. I just wonder if tandem bikes kind of the same way. I mean, for the two of us, we spent most of the time just laughing because it's hard to get in sync with your pedaling, but. Oh, you have to get in sync on your pedaling? but. Oh, you have to get in sync on your pedaling for his.

You do. It's one chain. This sounds like a broke ass tandem bike here, doesn't it? You think a chain breaks a lot on one bike? Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, wow. No, that makes sense now. Now that I'm thinking of the mechanics of that, because, yeah, you do have to be in sync on that. Oh, that's brutal, especially if someone like Miles is on it, not pedaling at all.

Can someone not pedal, just coast? You can. Your pedals are going to continue to spin underneath you, but you could. Now, we've asked this to a bunch of different bartenders here, but what are the most we want to give people here on Bellied Up Podcast? We want to educate people on the proper bar. What makes your lives easier? What can we as patrons do to make you as a bartender, your life easier?

Don't cause any fights, that's about it. I'm relatively new to being a bartender, but these regulars here are nice and quiet, so makes my life a lot easier. Now them knowing that you're kind of a green, uh, bartender, do they mess with you a little bit? Oh yeah. I have a lot of people who go for the tallest tap that we've got because I can't

see inside the cups when I do it. I get a lot of flack for being short. Yeah, that is a tall, that might be the tallest tap deal I've ever seen. High level for me. Is it? Yeah. How tall are you? Like five eight ish. Five eight.

A little short king on it. You're a short king. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? You got, where are you at in life? You got a gal? I just graduated college. With what degree?

Two of them, general math and a math education degree. So you're gonna be a math're going to be a math teacher. I am a math teacher. Oh, what grade you teach in. Upper high school, 10th through 12th is more my forte, but I substitute during the day. OK, little geometry, a little calculus, little algebra, you know, that we got like the Internet now. Yeah. So how's that going? I mean, there's a good amount of kids who say, Like the internet now. Yeah, so how's that going?

There's a good amount of kids who say well I'm always gonna have a calculator in my pocket and I just say yeah you will but you're in my class right now Lay down the hammer that's great. Yeah, just make them do work just cuz they're in your class not for real-life application I love that for this class. I'm gonna teach you what you need I like it See I was a little shit about math when I was in school and I regret it now, because now I do like a little bit of woodworking and I kind of the fact that I ruined my floors

trying to do some plumbing. And I gotta tell you that math comes in handy. You know, that muscle, I mean, you're measuring a hell of a lot less if you can add add I can tell you that much well and so much more applications than you even think about like me just making change right here I'm doing math a hundred times a day you're building that building that deal yeah you got to tell those kids you guys

want to be bartenders friggin a you better learn now not to put a damper on this why that type of change math though you learned pretty early on yeah why do we need letters in math well miles I'll tell you so I was doing this little design with a bunch of diamonds if you will okay eight diamonds making kind of a star on on this tabletop facade and you got to start thinking like, I know this angle. I know that angle in theorem. Yeah. So that's where the X has come in a squared plus B squared equals C squared. And how do you, yeah. So it's very important.

It really is. And it'll come in handy in a pitch in a pinch when the robots are taken over and you got to build kind of a little, um, contraption to trap them. You're going to want to know the Pythagorean theorem, right? Well, robots run on tracks. You're probably going to want stairs, not a ramp. Oh, see, see math guy here. Rise, rise and run, rise and run. Yeah, that's it. Oh yeah. The rise and run, rise and run. I thought you were talking about it against a robot. I think they got lasers, dude. him run, rise and run. I thought you were talking about against a robot. I think they got lasers, dude.

So you went to college here at a BSU. Yep. Tell us a little bit about BSU. And I also say love BSU bullshit. You know, I mean, I, I came up here because it reminded me of home. Nice open on the lake, beautiful campus. I only was here for it reminded me a home nice open on the lake beautiful campus I only was here for three years. So honestly, I wish I could have spent more time holy shit overachiever two degrees three years of college Two jobs now and jokes on you your bartending Well, I gotta tell you this much

Guilty as charged. Well, I got to tell you this much. Who is who is the best patron at this bar? And you can say hello so they can hear you. I was the best patron. Oh, God, I don't know if I could pick one. Sure you can. Oh, come on. No, I probably have to say professor over there.

He's probably my favorite guy. Time out. Frick the hat. Yeah. So time out. Is he a professor at the school? He was a professor recently retired. That looks awesome. He looks like Midwest Indiana Jones. Yes, it does.

One guy. Yeah. He reminds me of John Hammond from Dress Park. Oh, yeah. He absolutely does. Also, I like that professors. I like a professor likes to go local watering hole. Yeah., I like that. Professors, I like a professor who likes to go to a local watering hole. Dressed like that? Hell yeah. The straw kind of cowboy. And he's got a spiral notebook in his breast pocket.

Freaking yeah dude. Can you imagine what's written on that? Probably grocery list. A squared plus B squared equals C squared. Rises and runs, you know Yeah, I'd be willing to bet that there's lines on there. He performs at the local theater. So Mmm lines all These freakin Renaissance man. Yeah. Yeah living legend. Yeah, that's cool Last question about pole vaulting. Alrighty

You got a few screws loose to be a pole vaulter or no. If you don't hit in the pole a few times, we'll knock them loose. That's for sure. Yeah. Has the pole ever hit you in the, in the, in the bottom? No, I was lucky enough to not have that. I've been hitting that a few times though. You know how, when you do, um, baseball, you wear a cup when you're a pole vaulter do you have a plug or yeah why you wear like a sumo protective kind of thing. You can go one you can. Don't like a little protector. Yeah just a cup but what about the bum. Your shit out of luck there So to speak, you know mild get it. Okay. Yeah anyways Well, you know what? I think you're a math guy. Yes, right former pole Volter

I Can the bike rider tandem bike right you're a creative fella I can tell you should invent that we watch all these videos of these pole vault. There's take a poll up the rear and I feel like you should invent sort of a rear protector rear guard. Gotcha. Yeah. I'll look into it. Don't patronize me at your own facility. Come on. That'd be great. You know, some comfortable. Yeah, yeah, it's like the bike shorts equivalent. Exactly. The bike shorts you wear

on the tandem bike and convert it into a booty hole protector. There you go. It could look like a, an armored thong, you know, made a Kevlar, a sumo ask scenario. Who said sumo earlier? Oh, that was you. You don't ever listen to me. I listen to you sometimes. Can you be our therapist for a second? Oh, God. So Miles thinks sometimes I don't listen to him. And that's true. But I don't want to start listening to him.

So what do we do? Hmm. I mean, as a bartender, I'm kind of a built in therapist, but that's not a problem I've run into before. What's the weirdest thing someone's told you as a bartender? I had a man come in and tell me all about his wife who was 15 years older than him. But what do you mean? Crazy being way older than your significant other.

What's so wrong with that? Yeah, nothing wrong with it. Don't look at me like that miles Why are you looking at me? This is a pipe you're having you have said something. Yeah, then you're having a conversation With him. Oh, sorry What's so wrong with having a significant other that's way older? Why are you looking at me? I'm looking at him and I don't get a lot of strange people in here. Mm-hmm looking at me again. I don't get a lot of strange people in here. A lot of the good regulars. Can you tell Miles that I don't appreciate his insinuations during this podcast?

Well, if you want to listen to him, you also got to speak to him. No, there we go. What if I don't want to listen to him? He hey, he's going to leave this podcast be like, God, I thought I got this job to get away from a bunch of high school. Well, listen, thank you for coming on. We hope we inspired you to create the Grundle protector. And if you do just know that we, uh, we can help finance it.

Um, Charlie can the prototype and we'll only take 50-60%. Okay? You know what? It's more than I have right now. So there you go. Well, hey, thank you for serving us. We appreciate you. Absolutely.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for having us. All right, folks, it is the holiday season and while you're busy celebrating, I'll tell you this much, life can just throw you some unexpected challenges. Like if you're busy celebrating, I'll tell you this much life can just throw you some unexpected challenges. Like if you're dealing with an injury though, if you're dealing with an injury, don't you dare fret. Okay.

Nikolay law can handle the legal mess so you can focus on making the most of the season. Right? Miles, like, you know, let's say you're clumsy, right? And let's say you were coming down some stairs and you trip and you break your ankle in half in half. In half. The few days before Christmas, you're thinking about getting your ankle fixed, right? You're not thinking about how am I gonna pay for this?

No, I'm not thinking about that because I called Nicolet. Because you called Nicolet. And Nicolet will go after those insurance companies so you can have two comforter money. You can get a throw blanket as well. Ooh, hey, don't even have a throw blanket. I didn't even know they threw blankets like that. Anyway, folks, Nikolai Law, Miles, stop shaking your head.

That was awesome. And give him a call. Nikolai Law. Charlie. Yeah, Miles, what's up, dude? Holiday season, I've got a little would you rather holiday edition here. Ooh, Yeah, miles. What's up? A season. I've got a little would you rather holiday edition? Oh, okay. All right. Would you rather have a present to open or a stocking to unstuff?

Ah, usually, usually there's better stuff in the present than the stock. So present, would you rather have a present or a plate of ginger snap cookies? Oh, might do the ginger snap cookies. Would you rather have ginger snap cookies or a fun and holiday cheer with your family? Ginger snap cookie. Now, would you rather have, oh, okay. ginger snap cookie. Now would you rather have, Oh, really? Okay. Would you rather have ginger snap cookies or an ice cold glass of vanilla soft serve to be cow? There's my family there. Yes. I'll take the tip. And the beauty is you don't have to pick

either one in that situation because you can take your ginger snap cookies and dip them right in the ice cold vanilla soft. So you can quite literally have your cookie and drink it to Charlie. No matter what you got going on this holiday season, make sure you include to be cow. It's going to make it that much sweeter. Tip it on back guys. We got big news in the bellied up world. We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you that stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their

topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases your chances of being featured on the show. So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 24-7 and again, the number is 218-303-5095. And if you forget the number, it's in the description of the podcast, so don't worry. Cheers, enjoy the episode. Maggie.

Maggie? Come on, belly up to the bar. Water is warm and the beer is cold. What's on your mind? Am I seriously on right now? Oh yeah, you're on, I'm Charlie. No, this is a recording. Yeah, it's not, that'd be funny recording. Yeah. It's not like someone answers

if someone answers first and then, you know, gives me a little, you know, hands and I'm going to be on or something. We're not that buttoned up. My question. Okay. Oh, okay. Cool. Um, this is more for Charlie. Sorry, miles. Sorry. That's all right. That's all right. These tend to usually be fun for me. So here we go. Okay. Why do you have such a big chip on your shoulder about people from Illinois? Oh, yeah. Charlie. My God. What's so wrong with people who live a little further south than you, Charlie? What's so wrong with Illinois? There is nothing wrong with Illinois. There's just something not quite right about it. Okay.

And I'll tell you what it is. It all stems. Soldier field, Chicago Bears, okay? And the audacity that Bears fans have to think that they're even at the same level as the Green Bay Packers is something I just resent. All right, and that's the beginning of it. The other thing is you guys come up to Wisconsin in your fib cars, all right,

and you expect it that at Chicago rules. You drive around Chicago, it's like a NASCAR race, okay? You come to Wisconsin, we go a little slower. We wave you past twice at the stop signs, you know? And it's not because we got nowhere to go. Oh, hang on, my mic is getting a little crazy. It's not because we got nowhere to go Oh hang on my mic is getting a little crazy. It's not because we got nowhere to go It's just that we're not that interested in getting there That fast, you know, but you guys are pow pow pow all the time and also

Prices in Door County have skyrocketed I'm not gonna say because of you, but you sure haven't helped that situation. Those are just three things that are kind of beefs that Wisconsin people have with Illinois and there's more, but I will say that we love you a lot. We really do love you. We just sometimes don't like you. Like if the, you know, and that's it. And I think that's a healthy thing. We do love you. It's, you know, it's like,

let me ask you this. Do you guys have any beef with anyone from Wisconsin? Or do you just not think about it? I think that's really what it is, is that you guys just aren't thinking about us. And that makes us even more angry, you know? I think that's really what it is, is that you guys just aren't thinking about us and that makes us even more angry, you know?

Yeah, I think you're right. Not really thinking about you. See, you break my heart like this, I'm gonna go home, cry about it, stuff the emotions down before I walk outside and then it's gonna come back and some unfounded hatred of Illinois. And that's where the chip comes, comes from, but it's, it's, it's meant with love. So that's all I gotta say. Okay. Well, that's good. Well, I got my question for you is what is your gripes with Wisconsin? I just don't understand. I just didn't understand why they didn't like us. I remember when I was younger, I had a friend and her cousin

from Wisconsin would always come down and visit and cause spits. And I just, I didn't understand why I'm outside of Chicago. I was like a Northwest suburb. So yes, Charlie, you got to put yourself in their shoes. They're feeling like these are, uh, like unwarranted shots. They don't feel like they've done anything wrong. That's cause everyone comes up to Wisconsin. They go to Milwaukee and they go, Oh, this, this is almost as cool as Chicago. You know, or they say like, uh, Oh, this is kind of as Chicago, you know, or they say like,

oh, this is kind of like Chicago, but worse, you know, or they go, hey, at least there's plenty of parking here. We got more than parking in Wisconsin. All right. So we're sort of fighting back against that air of superiority that Illinois gives, you know. that Illinois gives you know you. Well here's another question for you as a fib as a fibula. Yeah. Charlie's got a bone to pick with you fibulas. Oh that's funny miles. Because Tibula is a bone. What is so wrong with just slowing down a little bit

once you cross the border? What's so wrong with not cutting people off in traffic? What's so wrong with laying off the horn and seven laying on miles? Thank you. Why can't you guys just, you know, Hey, show a little bit of respect in that sense. Thank you. Yeah. Miles said it better than me. I guess we're just angry about stuff. What are you angry about? Let's unpack that. Let's do therapy with the whole state of Illinois here. What's wrong? Who hurt you? This is kind of stupid, but I when I dropped my kids off at school, there was like a line, you know, to drop the kids off.

You know, keep on either. There's a sidewalk move up, move up, move up. And, you know, don't stop the car and let your kids out. Just get them out. And I don't know why, but in theory, it's so stupid that people don't pull off and they get out of their car. They unbuckle their kids, they let them out of the car, you know, wave goodbye, you know, and I'm waiting between two cars and I got to get out of there. I got to get to work. I don't have time for that. So that's the problem

right there. I honked it, honked and yelled at them, you know, that's the problem right there. I honked it honked and yell at them. You know, that's the problem. But when people from Illinois spend their whole life saying, I don't have time for this. And then they realize they didn't spend any time doing anything other than trying to get more time. Wow. That's profound miles. That's a really good reason to get mad about It is

But it's stupid it wears And then and then you take out your your pain and your emotion on the the poor people up north You know and you buy the land and you rate Jack the price is up God dang it and then you're in you know, you're in our Skull Lanes going 85. Well, if I just want to park here and enjoy the fall colors, darn it, that's my prerogative, you know? I mean, the oranges and the greens. And the Taco Bell purples.

The Taco Bell purples. I mean, you gotta sit back sometimes and just enjoy the colors because you really got nowhere to be. I mean you gotta sit back sometimes and just enjoy the colors because You really got nowhere to be life is not about the destination. It's about how slow you can get there Okay, and that's what you get. So if waiting in that line is an issue your kids got bikes, right? Put them on those horses and send them to school Or or get your get your doors take off the child

Protective lock on them teach your kids how to tuck and roll. Yeah, do a drive-by do a drive-by You know exactly it'll build character So I hope you know that this isn't with you personally it's just with the state that you know, you're unfortunately living in. And yeah, but I do think you have another question. Oh, yeah, go ahead. interrupt. Um, so, you know, you have your chip on your shoulder and you explained why. Now have you or would you ever date someone from Illinois and if you did how would your family feel about that? Oh God. I wouldn't tell my family first of all. I mean I would lie. I would say

that you know she's from Beloit, you know, some like that. I mean, if they found out Dana Bears, I mean, you've seen Romeo and Juliet, right? This this ends with a double suey, you know, over at Soldier Field. I mean, I hate to say it, but I'm drinking that poison right after you, you know? So it's a tough, it's a tough goal, but love is love.

And you can't, you can't help. The old double suey. Oh yeah. This is a classic double suey situation, Charlie. Yeah. She was from Illinois. He was from Wisconsin. We see this five, seven times a year at least classic double Suey. Yeah. Why are you trying to hook me up with double homie? You know, no, there's this show on Netflix. It just came out and it's called No One Wants This. It's like this Jewish rabbi guy and then this girl that's just like a hot mess and she's

not Jewish. And it's just like a feel-good movie. It's got a guy from the OC on it, Adam Brody. Adam Brody's still live. Wow. I gotta give that a watch. Yeah. Are you, are you trying to get with Adam Brody? Is that what I'm getting here? I'm, I'm married. You're married. So, so you're saying that if a guy, if someone from Wisconsin was dating another person from Illinois, it would be like a rabbi and a girl who's kind of a mess. Dating is what you're saying. Who's the rabbi and who's the best podcast for my work. And podcast when I worked and I just, I don't know. I just saw it and I thought of how much

Charlie has a dislike for people in Illinois. Who's the rabbi and who's the mess in the move or the show in this Wisconsin, Illinois situation is Charlie the rabbi or is Charlie the mess? No, neither of them. It's the I don't like all their friends and family. No one wants this. Well, I'll tell you this. Let me say this, Julia, like everyone else. Let me say this to you and all the people of Illinois. I love you. OK, I do. But sometimes I'd like you

if you just go down a scotch and you bought land in Michigan instead. Come visit. I guess I won't be heading to the Mars Cheese Factory. No, come on. I'm teasing. I'm pulling your leg. Get up here. We love you.

We do. And here's the thing. I came up to see you at the. Sorry. No, don't say sorry. God, you are so Midwest. I got to tell you. Let me wrap this up here.

Let me wrap this up here and just tell you that we do love you and we we need you we need you Okay, we need your love for the Bears to transcend It gives us something to talk about because if if it if if we don't have this unfounded hatred for you We might have to start feeling our feelings and that is not something we're about to do without Illinois Charlie It's just go Packers. Yeah it's it's so much funner to say fuck the Bears you know. There's no punchline to that. Yeah there isn't. It's just go Packers, it's boring. Yeah I mean we thank you because without you you we wouldn't have all your losses against the Packers and we just wouldn't have as much fun so

thank you for being you without the bears. You wouldn't be able to start the season to know. Thank you very much. Yeah, well, we appreciate you calling in today. Thanks for the love. Thanks for tuning in. And yeah, thanks for calling in. We'll forget to keep your bartender.

Hey, tip your bartender. Thank you very much. Gold Packers and have the bears. We'll see you soon. Bye bye. Well Charlie is that another solid good episode of the bellied up podcast in the books. ITB miles in the books. CBA could be anything. Could be anything. Could be anywhere. Could be anyone. Folks, thank you for listening to another episode

of the Bellied Up Podcast. Make sure you tip your bartender and. We'll see you in the next one. Love you guys. See you in the next one.