Bellied Up - What You Should Do With Your Man Cave #209

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

We're at Zoo on 22 in Detroit Lakes, MN. Our first caller is Kyle, who tells us a bizarre story involving a pumpkin. Then Ian calls in looking for advice on what he should do with the man cave in his garage.Go to shadyrays.com and use code belliedup for 50% off 2+ pairs of polarized sunglasses. #adWanna call in? Leave us a voicemail: 218-303-5095Timestamps:0:00 intro17:33 Kyle49:12 Ian

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast. We are bellied up here again at the zoo on 22, Charlie, a nice little lake bar here in the heart of Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. Yes, sir. And I don't know about you, Chuck, but when I'm at the lake, I'm a little bit different guy. You know, I call me Lake Mode Miles. Lake Mode Miles. Okay, what's different about Lake Mode Miles? Mostly just the drinks I choose to put down my throat.

Oh, okay, okay. Why? You like a little, do you get a little fruthier? What does frothier mean? Proofy? Yeah. Yeah, you got a little frufeier with your drink choice, mouths. You know, like at home, you're like, yeah, I'll do a beer. I'll do a Windsor 7.

I'll do a barrens brandy on the rocks. Oh, you go on the rocks. Yeah. Okay. And here at the lake, I'm like, I'll do something with some Malibu in it. Ooh, you go Malibu. You get a little rum in your life? Not as, you know, it's maybe more like a tequila, tequila fresca, you know?

Oh, do you start going, uh, start going, uh, start going, shelters? Oh, no, no, no. Talking mixed drinks. And what's funny here is basically I'm much more, I'm only going to do these types of cocktails here at the lake, you know? Water hazard, infusion, zoo lemonade, cabin dreams. The Looney Paloma. That's a great name.

That is a great name. Up North Morgan. You know, like a lake breeze. Tos. Docs. Vodka, lemon club soda. I mean, that sounds delicious to me right now. Does it not?

Yeah, it does. No, everyone knows. I'm not doing that at home. No, it's like, it's like lemonade stand drinks, you know? Yeah. It's like, it's really, you're getting exotic with it. We really turn into island people when we have no island, really, but there is a body of water here.

Correct. the reverse island. And in my mind, if you, you know, it's, it's like one of the many, one of the few exceptions to be in a guy's guy, a manly man is when you're near a body of water, you can have the fruitiest drink possible. Yep. Yep. I think country songs. More sugar, the better. Yeah. The blender is all the sudden okay. Yeah. Margaritaville machine. I got one of those at Lake. We can make some of these later. Yeah. You want me to make you a Dacquerie. Let me know. Wow. You want me to make you a spicy marg. Just let me know, Chuck. Yeah. Is that how you're going to say to the fellas? Or what do you, how do you bring this up to you guys?

Yeah, no, I mean, you know, I'll probably like write it down on a napkin, slip it to him. And I'll say like, yeah, I'll do a whiskey. And then they'll pick it up and then they'll say spicy marg, please, XO, XO, X. with a smiley face at the end. Smiley face. And then she'll go, oh, yeah, one whiskey coming right up. Oh, okay. Maybe a pinia calada. You can't fully embrace it, though.

I feel like you can fully embrace it at the lake. No one's watching. Yeah. I mean, I will be a little bit more self-conscious about it at the lake, but if you catch me at a swim-up bar and an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, I'm letting those things fly. And that's when you, when you order it, you know, your first one, you're like, I'll do, what do you got here?

You pull up the menu and you're like, I'll do this. Oh, you know what? I'm in Mexico. I might as well try it. And you say, I'll do the rum one. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't want to say like passion fruit dacery. No, but if you say I'll do the rum one.

For whatever reason, there's way more S's in all of the names, you know, like side breeze. You know, that's not an S. That's a Z on that. But it's pronounced with an. for some reason. Oddly. Passion fruit. Yeah.

I don't even know what a passion fruit is. All I know is they care. They care a lot. Here's the other thing. When you're out on the boat, someone brought a cooler, and so you kind of can spread your wings. You know, you might not be a seltzer person normally,

but if there's only seltzers in the cooler, well, you might as well. You're not going to not drink. No. You're going to have one. of those. Yeah. And some guys really embrace the

Celtsers on a, my buddy Mike Feldman, who you met, he is a pure seltzer man now. Mm. You know? No shame. No shame.

And he'll argue with the bartender about the different flavors they have. He likes the blackberry. Mm. Yeah. Okay. Some guys go, no shame.

That's an all year round thing for him. But it started on the boat. Yeah. Certainly did. Yeah. And what I like about being next to water, whether it be a lake or a beach. or a pool is that you just get to, you know,

you get to be someone that you're not. Yeah. Or maybe you are who you truly are. Maybe I'm always, maybe I'm always a fruity drink guy and I'm just masking it for the world, you know? You didn't think about that? I could say you did really take a liking to that Bushlight Apple situation.

It's true. You know? Well, let's explore that. Are you a fruit guy? Fruity drink guy. I do like, I like a fruity drink. Yeah. And the sugar doesn't bother you, huh?

Well, it does. Yeah. Yeah. The less sugar, the better. Son and sugar mix for a wicked 3 p.m. hangover. Like, I would say, like, when we go back to Lake, if I'm going to mix a cocktail, I think I'll go like tequila fresca. Ooh, tequila fresca. You ever had one?

Yeah. No, I don't know that I've had the tequila fresca mix. Usually, Miles, I do mescal neat. because I'm a man. I hate that. I hate it so much. Do you really? No, but.

But what am I? Do you think I really like that? Where I'm at, I think you order Mezcal neat to signal that you, one, are like cool. One, you don't need any ice. Yeah. Two, you like the name Mezcal sounds fancy, which you juxtaposition that on you. You're like, oh, wait, maybe Charlie Barron's is more than the eye can see. you know yeah yeah and and then you add in a smoky flavor and you're like wow this this

podunk guy from Wisconsin maybe is more sophisticated than we think and I think that that's why you order it I don't even know if you really like mescal that much you know mezcal I mean I've had mescal I don't think you like it that much I like that you talk it like that I don't know what got me on that mescal turn the um the uh thing about it is uh you know, like I got on the tequila situation a few years ago. And this is in a... Well, not you were on the brandy situation. Oh, I've always been on the brandy situation.

That's how, I mean, this is, this goes without saying. But sometimes if you get out of Wisconsin, they're not dialed in on the brandy. So this is not a Wisconsin thing. Got it. Yeah, you're on the road a lot. Yeah. And what I do like... When you're in Spokane, Washington.

Right. Or fucking, you're in, uh, Give me a Hartford, Connecticut. You're in Hartford, Connecticut, or maybe, uh, Burlington, Vermont, or Albany, New York, or Augusta, Maine, or Delaware, Dover and Del over in Delaware. This guy passed his test in fifth grade. You can tell you're in Jackson, Mississippi. Or Nashville, Tennessee. Or Nashville, Tennessee.

Or, uh, uh, Florida, New Florida. Tallahassee, Florida. Arkansas. Little Rock, Arkansas. New Mexico. Santa Fe. Wow, dude, he's good.

He knows them all. That's impressive. Maybe you're in Juneau, Alaska. You know? Yeah. And so then it's like, shit, the brandy game is weak. Brandy game sometimes, sometimes they don't even have brandy. Can you believe that?

I can believe it. No, imagine. Sometimes you're in, you know, you're in Carson City, Nevada. You know? Yeah. Sometimes you are. Sometimes you are. And imagine establishing a liquor brand where most of the world doesn't even carry that,

not just that brand, that type of liquor, period. It's true. Yeah. You got to find another country in the world that likes brandy, and then you now have opened up a whole new market for your, Yeah, that's true. And now they do voice translation through AI online so you can just translate your videos into that country's language. And you could be slinging brandy and in Chad. That'd be funny. It was like North Korea loved brandy. Yeah. Kim Jong-un loves Barron's brandy. I should say you,

do you shut down the brand if it gets loose in North Korea? I mean, you know, I think I think we try not to associate with dictators as a general brand. I know, but you could be printing money at that point. That is true. It's tough to get into that market. That is true. And it's pretty, it's all monopoly over there.

So like if you happen to slip behind enemy lines. Yeah. And they're just, they're slugging Barron's brandy. Yeah. I mean, you're in a weird spot because you're printing money. But also,

you might want to consider shutting that down. Yeah. You might be an enemy. of the state, you know, or it's so good that Kim Jong-un just spends all his time getting hammered on old-fashions and he's too drunk to- And he just starts hitting the button on the nuclear weapons. That's the other way it can go. That's the other way it can go. Hey, next thing you know, Dennis Rodman's, their spokesman next to Charlie. Yeah, maybe. Charlie starts doing a podcast with Dennis Rodman. We should get Dennis Rodman on the podcast. What do you think about the Supreme Leader, Dennis?

just with his sunglasses and his voice you can understand. This episode is brought to you by Barron's Brandy. All hail, King Jung, um. That would be what you'd have to do. You know, I'll think about it, Miles. I'll think about it. No, I mean, do you shut it down or do you just like maybe sell it? And like requests, they take your name off of it.

I think, yeah, we'd have to find a way around this. At that point, I'd have to get in every country to kind of dilute that one, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd have to. And you got a real, you're like, you're quitting your day job and you're just promoting it everywhere. I'm just, yeah, learning Japanese. You're going to be down under. You know, I do think that, how did we get on this conversation?

We were talking about lake drinks. How did we end up with Dennis Roman? You were bragging that you order Mezcal neat. I wasn't bragging about that. You were. The way you said it. He didn't let me finish. Do you let me finish, Jared?

He never lets me finish. Ever. So the thing is, the thing is I was bringing up the mescal thing because I was saying like I sort of taste buds wise, I like sort of a smoky situation. But if you're going into a lake situation, I kind of, you know, let myself breathe a little bit. I was saying typically, if I were to get that, I get the mescal.

Because I do like the smokiness, you know. It's kind of like coffee. Coffee doesn't taste good, you know, but I really like the taste of coffee. I think I have acquired the taste of coffee. Well, in the same way, with the mescal, I feel like I've acquired that where I do and enjoy the taste. But also, I don't know that I have great taste buds, you know, which doesn't say much about a guy selling a brandy. But what I do think is that with brink. brandy you can put all the other stuff in it so it doesn't matter you know I don't even know where

I'm going with this now neither anyway question was is do you order mescal to make yourself seem more sophisticated than maybe you are I don't think so because I also am somewhat embarrassed to order it because you kind of whisper it you know yeah yeah I do miss count because because the next question always and this is why I'm embarrassed to order it the next question is always what kind and I'm like I might, you know, just give me your middle tier one, you know, not the real one, you know. Give me the real one, but not the real expensive one. And the reason why I ask that is I imagine there's a lot of listeners right now that have never even heard of Mezcal. I mean, it's just smoky tequila.

No, I know. I'm just saying. I got on it. Someone that gave me a bottle not to break. And I thought it was real good. Why don't you do a Barron's Mezcal? Yeah. the German doesn't quite say this is going to be a good mescal.

Some about that German name in front of that that traditionally Mexican cocktail spirit does not warrant a whole lot of that's going to fly off the shelves, you know. That was a question. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It started off with a tequila and then tequila is the gateway for a mezcal.

So there you have it. Yeah. But anyways. No, I wasn't trying to brag about it, Miles. What are we even doing here? What are we doing? Should we do some collars? No, I didn't get to say my fruity drink.

These collars are brought to you by Barron's Brandy, the official brandy of North Korea. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait for that to be clipped. Context is everything. Context is everything. people could pull so many just random clips from this podcast I mean the amount of times

you can make a three minute video backing up a claim that me and Charlie are secret lovers based off of videos we've done on the internet oh yeah we're just lovers yeah our knees are touching right now all right should we take some callers Charlie yes miles you know this sure

there are two seasons in the Midwest winter and road construction well aren't there like 15 seasons in the midwest 17 but two of those 17s are winter and road construction yeah everywhere you go there's orange barrels lane closures and detours taking you somewhere you've never heard of i actually had to take a detour today because of road construction i do like two miles on gravel because of it had you heard of where you were yeah i had i had okay it doesn't completely line up but it's nice It's a nice thought. One minute you're driving normally. The next minute traffic merges from two lanes into one

and nobody knows where to turn is. No, nobody knows whose turn it is. You know? Or what the turn is. No one knows out of zipper. You know the zipper technique? Go all the way to the end and then you alternate merging

instead of getting one line backed up. It's a whole thing. And then on top of that, you add distracted drivers and sudden stops and accidents can happen before anyone has time to react, Charlie. Geez, Louise. Then add in people on their phones, it's a whole thing. No one's paying attention. Guys, if construction season turns into an injury or an accident, you got to call who, Chuck?

Russell Nicolay, fear the beard. Injured, get Nicolay. Nicolaylaw.com. 1855, Nicolay. Miles, here's the cool thing about these shady rays. What is the cool thing? Cool thing about shady rays is these feel like $200, $300 pair of sunglasses. I've got.

$7,000. pair of sunglasses. If I walked in and I said, wow, that guy, you must have a good job because he's got some expensive sunglasses on. That's what they would think. And little do we know that you're just a podcaster. You're a podcaster. And you bamboozled me

because you got some high quality glasses for an affordable price. Oh yeah. And there's a little deal going on where you can get two of these pairs, two or more, 50% off. Polarized. Polarized. So you can see the fishies out there in the water. If you just go as shady,

raise.com miles and you use that promo code bellied up you are set you get you're set like the sun off two or more Polaroids glasses that's pretty sweet yeah and yesterday being here in fargo i was watching i'm my shady rays on because the sun stays up here all the time goes down after nine i'm my shady rays on past nine yeah now's the time to be looking fine past nine with these shady rays and these sunny days check them out you'll have the great gaze shady raise dot com ladies and gentlemen

gaze with the Z yeah yeah yeah like my visual gaze shady raise com is this Kyle yes sir totally Kyle are you young enough slash old enough to remember

the totally Kyle segment on either Amanda show or all that maybe around that time frame but I think still young enough. Okay. All right. This is totally Kyle. Totally Kyle. You remember that?

I do it from all that. Do you remember that? Was Drake Bell who was doing it. Anyways, Kyle, what's going on? Not too much. Not too much. My brother-in-law's been begging me to call you guys and get this story. And he was on a couple weeks ago, actually.

Oh, yeah? Not his wife swap incident with his family. Oh, yeah. the old wife swap. Yeah, remember you, is that the one where you drew out the family tree on the bar? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that's a, that was a lot. That broke my brain there a little bit. So, yeah. What's your take on it? What's your take on that? I still don't have it down. I have to ask him every time he explains it and I still don't get it. We should have printed that napkin.

Did we take a picture of that napkin? We put it on the thing. Yeah. Wasn't that helpful because you were all over the map. Well. But anyways, he said you got a story to tell. What do you got? Oh, yeah.

I got a little story slash incident that happened to be back in college around 2021. Not to brag. He's a young buck. Jesus. You definitely don't know totally, Kyle, then. Yeah, I was my freshman year just around COVID. So I'll take it. you guys on a little journey here.

So me and my friends were going to visit one of his friends. I didn't know him at another school. Just trying to get our college experience out of things. So we were going over there to plan a little party. Got over there. We're playing some zombies, Blackop's two zombies, having some drinks. And then... Oh, yeah.

And then the party kind of fell through. So we found another thing to pivot to. So we started heading off to that. And so we're exiting the dorms. And there I see it. There's a pumpkin sitting in the hallway of this dorm. And so I was like, you know what? I'm a little disappointed by this first party.

Let me grab this pumpkin. So I grab it. We go to the stairwell. We're like three flights up. I go, I toss it over the railing. I'm like, okay, that was pretty cool. Smash real good. ran down the stairs, grabbed it again, went back up, threw it over again.

And so after that second time, got some videos of it, walked out, went to the party, didn't think anything of it. So about a week and a half later, we started getting texts from the kid that we visited that the PD of the school was reaching out about two suspicious males that were entering his dorm room. And attached was a photo security cam hallway of us outside the door. And so we're like, dodge it, dude, dodge it. Who cares? You know, they don't know anything, clearly.

So he dodges it for probably another week and a half until they start really grilling him. And he finally decides to give up the phone number of my friend that I went over there with. He ratted you out over a pumpkin? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So we're, you know, getting calls from this detective. He's leaving voicemail.

There's a detective involved? Oh, my God. Yeah. You saw a pumpkin from some kid who's dad is well connected. Oh, yeah. So we're like, dude, dodging. You don't have to answer the phone. Who cares?

It's just a voicemail. So, you know, one day we're sitting in my dorm room. and finally curiosity gets to us. And we're like, you know what? Let's hear him out. So he calls, we answer, and, you know, he puts it on speaker, and I'm just sitting in my dorm room waiting.

And so he starts explaining. He's like, I'm Detective, blah, blah, blah, with this PD. And this is a criminal case involving Kyle. And I was like, hold on. Criminal and Kyle should not be in the same sentence at all right now. criminal, Kyle. So I'm like, okay, let's hear him out a little bit more. And he starts explaining the situation, you know, word for word of what we were doing.

And so I started stressing. If you want to know anything about me, the worst trouble I've ever gotten into was Surinwraping my friend's viola back in high school. So nothing, nothing I do is remotely that bad. That's classic, Kyle. What did he say about the viola? He stole it? He saran wrapped.

He saran wrapped a beola. You know, like Costco's 750 square feet. I mean, you couldn't even see the black of the case. It was just all saran wrap. Oh, that's nothing. You did it in the case. You can easily cut that. Viola is safe.

That's what we're saying. It's a victimless crime. Yeah, we got reported it honestly for bullying, allegedly. But, you know, anyway. So, you know, I start stressing. I'm freaking out, you know, pacing. now on this dorm room and I'm like, all right, this kind of sounds a little serious now. So I decide I'm going to drive to the school that day.

So get my car solo, it's, you know, like an hour drive. I'm going over there. What's your game plan? He's turning himself in? Turning to yourself like. The pumpkin assassin. Yeah. We called ourselves the pumpkin smashers.

So, you know, we were just clever. The pumpkin smashes were turning ourselves in. So about 10 minutes out from the school, I flip the script on them and I give them a call and I go, hey, it's Kyle. I'm coming. And they're like, perfect. We have some paperwork for you. And I was like, all right, sounds good. I'll see you in 10.

So I go, I get to the school. I'm sitting in there like campus security office. And, you know, I'm the only one in there. I'm sitting there for like 20 minutes. and sweat bullets because now, you know, it's getting pretty serious all of a sudden. Yeah. And so, you know, a detective walks out and he like scans the room and he's like, Kyle. And I'm like, well, I'm the only one in here.

So, yep, that's, that's me right here. Mm-hmm. So he takes me into their, you know, police office and walks me down all the way back of the office. And, you know, all the other officers are sitting at the desk, you know, like giving me looks like, we got them. We got him. right here. There's no way he's walking into the belly of the beast.

Yeah, the only way that could have been more intimidating is if they actually walked you by jail sales with people trying to grab you as you walk by. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. So, you know, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting, but he goes, he brings me into a fully

foamed interrogation room security camera on the wall. Really? And I'm like, wow, this got real serious. And this is public. This is public safety on campus that's doing this. Yeah, this is not Stiti PD. This is just campus police.

This guy's not a detective, dude. You did not have to go there. Well, you know, again, I heard criminal and Kyle involves the same sentence. And that was not going to fly. I could not have that happen. You got to protect your name against. Kim, yeah. The recently promoted mall cops.

No, they're soon to be mall cops. You're in college. Yeah, they're lower than Mohawk. So I sit down with him and he's like, all right, we're going to start with your rights. And so he reads me my rights. You know, that's pretty intense. You know, he starts reading the first one or not my head. And he's like, no, we're going to need a verbal yes.

I was like, okay, all right, yes. So once he finishes reading my rights, he goes, okay, we're going to start with the video. Flips around his laptop, presses play. 4K footage of me in the stairwell, throwing the pumpkin down, scurrying down the stairs, grabbing it again, going back up, throwing it over again, us giggling, laughing, taking a video, and then that's it. I mean, did you have to do it twice, by the way? Well, the first one wasn't the best.

God. So it's like, I got to get my college experience here, you know? Okay, and then, so you watched the video, were you, did you have to fight laughter? A little bit, yeah. I like, I was like, there's no way you guys got camera, like, stand well footage of me doing this. This is, this is pretty good. But I'm also half scared. So, like, I'm really trying to hold it down right now.

And so, you know, the video ends and me being, you know, very innocent wanting this to go away. I wore the same jacket and same hat that I did going to the school. Kyle. So that I could immediately. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's got you. Yeah, you're done.

You're cooked. But let it be known, the pumpkin smasher turned himself in. You guys didn't come and get me. So I, you know, I pointed out the video. I pointed out my hat and jacket. And I was like, you got me. You got me dead to rights. I am

I'm 100% the guy I'm not trying to scurry out of this and so he's like all right well I appreciate the honesty and you know there's consequences to this because you know

the janitor has to come and clean that up and you're wasting precious resources on this pumpkin exactly you know just trying to really make me feel bad about this smashing a pumpkin so I was like yeah yep you got me

me, I understand, you know, that's messed up with me. And so, you know, that pretty much wraps it up. And actually, a little thing I forgot to mention, on the phone when we were back at the school, at my school, he was asking my friend, oh, like, do you know his dorm room? We could send, you know, that campus is PD to your dorm to come and get them, like completely serious for no reason. But so, yeah, and we wrap up the interview. I guess you could say and he has me go and wait back in the lobby again and you know another 20 minutes later he comes out and he hands me a ticket for a moral conduct which i've never heard before uh immoral immoral immoral immoral was this a uh catholic school or i don't believe so no i think it's

just one of their rules that they could throw on somebody it's like a Because they can't give you a disorderly conduct because they're not a real police force. So they just had to make up another one. This is the true value laws. Oh, yeah. The great value. The great value. True value is a hardware store.

Well, what I meant was like, yeah, great value. So he hands me in his ticket and he says, all right, you got a mandatory court date. And I was like, wow. Wow. Where? At what court? So I didn't realize it at the time because, you know, my head was running. I'm originally from Connecticut.

This was down in Jersey. So, you know, immediately I'm thinking, how am I going to go to this court date with a suit and leave my family's house and drive to Jersey without them asking questions? Because I'm 18. I want to keep this a secret. I want to keep it close to the chest. You know, just in case I'm going down, they don't have to know. until it's the very end.

I mean, this is clearly how Judge Judy gets cases on her show, right? They just pull from like local public safety PD at the schools, right? I can't believe I haven't got a call from her yet. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, I'm thinking about that and then I realize that it's on Zoom. You know, everything is still pretty backed up from COVID at that point. That's huge.

So I looked out there. You don't have to wear soup pants. Exactly. Exactly. Were you wearing pants, Kyle? I was wearing pants, but they were pajama pants. Nice. Okay.

Sick. All right. So, again, I wanted to keep this a secret. However, you know, my whole family was home at the house. And I'm like, how am I going to escape to my room and do a court date and dress up? And, you know, nobody asks questions again. So you keep the door closed. Well, yeah, yeah.

That's step one, for sure. And so the day starts coming up. My sister and my mom end up going to visit a college in Vermont. I'm like, perfect, two people out of the house. That's all we need. Then morning of the court date, I wake up, my dad's gone at the grocery store. I'm home alone to do this court date. Nobody has to have a clue about it.

and so I'm doing, you know, I dressed up, I shaved my facial hair, I wanted to look again as innocent as possible. And I'm waiting in a Zoom, you know, holding room. And I don't know, the lady in there just goes, oh, you dressed up for Zoom court. That's so cute. And I was like, this is court. Of course I'm going to dress up. But, you know, why would I, why would I disrespect it? Well, she read your file and she knew that this whole thing was a joke. Yeah. It's a trumped up charge. So I'm getting in, and, you know, based on my last name, I'm one of the first court cases.

And so you're in this massive Zoom call with other people, a traffic violation, stuff like that. And so I'm the first one to go. And the judge is reading out, like, what happened. And I'm looking at all the other people who are on mute. And they're all, like, giggling and laughing. I was like, I was like, yeah, this is mysterious. You know, I'm sure you guys have much worse crimes right now. I'm glad to start your day off with some laughter.

And so, yeah, I pled guilty and had to pay court fines of $250. And yeah, that was that was that. No, it didn't. I believe because, again, it was from the campus. so I'm clear. I'm clear about the state of New Jersey. That's for sure. Let's go.

Dude, that is, that is incredible. That was a seedy crime, Miles. It was a seedy crime. I like that. I'm just glad we're spending our judicial time on stuff like that. Yeah.

Well, what school was this in Jersey? I was Rowan University. Rowan University? Never heard of it. Is it a good one? I think so. I don't know.

I didn't spend much time there after the pumpkin smashing. I didn't want to go down for another frivolous crime. Yeah, that's true. An immoral conduct. Yeah. So you got to pay 250. Okay, here's the thing. Would you, you know, like Charlie, would you pay 250 bucks to smash a pumpkin?

How many stories was it, Kyle? How many stories? That was about three. I mean. If you're a little drunk. yeah you've had you know you've had about three four five glasses neat of mescal that's a lot of money though 250 dollars it is but i'm saying is it could be a lot worse yeah i mean you had a good time i actually think 250 dollars way better than i had a great time and you know what came out with an

even better story from that so now you got a rap sheet you know oh yeah yeah um yeah you can waltz to Rowan University and just be like, see you heard of the pumpkin smasher? That was this guy. This guy. That was this guy. I'm glad that honestly... Kind of a big deal. I'm glad that this

is where this story went, Kyle, because when Jared said there was a pumpkin involved, I was like, oh no. God, who shut what, where? Yeah. Oh, no. Who found American pie situation. Pumpkin and a circular pumpkin situation on her hands.

Yeah, thankfully it didn't go that route. Just tossing it off the railing. Now, here's what is concerning. I'll say that. He tosses up the railing. He goes down there and sticks a dicket. Did you have to do the dick thing? Smashing it wasn't enough.

I kept waiting for that. He's like for some reason. There was a perfect hole in it. I had to see. Plus, the guy thought it was funny. that's a pumpkin cream pie yeah so I realized

I realized after the fact that that you know it wasn't just a completely random pumpkin it had a bunch of names on it so I realized I believe it was the all-raised pumpkin and those are whatever got built in narks

exactly I think they got super upset and you know push their foot down and said you got to find them. I'm not there in this slide. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now, could you see that no one else was coming? Because to me, that's the biggest crime here, is if, you know, you could have- No one got to come. Go on.

Yes. Yes, Miles, yes. You know what? Never mind. Never mind me trying to make sense out of this story. I will say. What do you mean? No one was coming. Like if you get hit in a head three stories from a pumpkin. Oh, no, yeah, you can see it down to the bottom. I mean, my friend was taking a video from the bottom, so we give it all. You have the video still? I think so. I got to get it from my friend, but we do still have that security camera photo of us entering the dorm as two suspicious males.

Dude, that's awesome. Did it at least smash better the second go-round? Oh, yeah, the thing was devastated. I mean, it was steeds all over the ground, you know. this could be your origin story for starting a TikTok page like those guys that just drop stuff off of balconies yes yeah satisfying video yeah they're like Australian and they have like this huge tower and they drop like bowling balls onto stuff and then you what don't they have it in slow mo too yeah yeah you could this could be your jumping off point for that it's cathartic we don't jump off the railing but yeah no just

pumpkins and other things of course wow is that the worst thing you've ever done yeah checks out yeah i've never never been in a interrogation room otherwise so you're bullying charges objectively worse than smashing the pumpkin yeah and you know what's messed up to it was on our friend and you know we were friends and he's still and honestly reported us so you know that hurt that dug deep don't love that you know but also got to be a monkey off your back because otherwise if you didn't rat you out then you'd still be at large and you you'd always just be wondering if that detective's going to show up at your door. That is true.

You know, everything works out for a reason. I don't think that, yeah, I don't think they just abandoned that cold case. I think that they probably haunt it down. I think they'd use all their resources. Yeah.

It's been 10 years. We got better forensics. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, they get a DNA sample of you. And then you,

and then you go, you do Ancestry.com. and then the government buys an accessory tocum. So I got everyone's DNA. You throw out one coffee cup. You're pinched. Yep. Spend your whole life on the run.

So it's probably good that you've turned yourself in. You put it behind you. And we applaud you for that. Thank you. I appreciate it, fellas. Yeah. Yeah. And so I, you know,

I kept that story close to my chest for a long time. Didn't want it to be out there until one, one Easter. my siblings brought it up and uh you know family and cousins all at the table and i was sweating bullets telling the story it was it was one of the worst worst days ever really everybody laughed and yeah oh yeah cow you got a pretty good life man i'm gonna tell you you're living large over there were your parents disappointed in you uh no they kind of laughed they thought it was under the same category as this ran rap you know

Pretty harmless. Totally Kyle. Totally Kyle. Well, that's, that's, um, I won't say underwhelming, Kyle, this whole story. But what I will say, if you call into any other podcast, definitely change the ending that you did get a day in jail or something like that. Or that you fornicade with the pumpkin.

Yeah. Yeah. Either or. I'll try and work that one in. Yeah. Like I threw it down there, landed on a. on a fence post, put a hole in it, you took it off, you humped it.

Oh, God. You know, and it all got on video. On second thought, I really like Kyle's story. On second thought, this is a nice, wholesome story.

And then you got into a, you got it to a police chase with a pub safety on a segue, you know? Then you were throwing pumpkin chucks behind you and it spun his segue out. He broke his leg. He had balloons on Segway for some reason.

They went in the air. Kyle, were you drunk at this point? Yeah, of course. Were you of age? He was playing zombies. He's playing zombies. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.

Were you of age or were you underage? No, I mean, I was 18. I was a freshman. Wow, that's right. I remember now. So they don't even get you for a public intoxication. Well, they didn't get me that night. Oh, they didn't get me that night.

got you a different time. Yeah, it was weeks after. Oh, no, I know that. I know that. I know that. You know if you're walking with beers in your hand or something. Breathalize him when they, when you cug, came in the station and go, ah, I think we could sense that you were drunk that night. Well, you know, they got everything on camera.

I can't imagine he's putting his beer away before he's walking. Maybe around with a pumpkin. Luckily, no, no roadside is that day. Yeah. You know what's going to happen though, Kyle? is there's going to be payback for you at some point in your life. You're going to spend a lot of time carving one of your children's pumpkins and then you're going to wake up in the morning and find smashed all over the sidewalk.

I don't ever say he like cut his hand off or something. What? That's a biblical thing. If your left hand causes you to steal a pumpkin, cut it off. Yeah. I do have to say every year around Halloween, I start seeing him. I get a little twitch. I'm like, do you?

Give me some stairs. have you thrown a pumpkin since Kyle kind of a great WWE character the pumpkin smasher that is great I've refrained I've refrained I've you know I put that one in the past and you know try to be a better man sense Kyle I think that that that you've got a bright bright future ahead of you if this is the best that worst thing that you've done I do think you've done something worse in your life and you're sort of like confessing this to us to inadvertently confess about that other thing.

And I'm curious what that other thing is. It's statute of limitations. You know, as the years go on, the older stories become able to talk about. That's true. Those stories aren't able to be talked about yet. Okay, okay. Aren't you like 12?

No. You're talking about when you stole your, you stole your buddy's sippy cup in kindergarten. Could be a good one. Could be a good one. How does it feel now, Kyle, to get that out there in the public? You know, I just hope that there's a legend and, you know, across the country, there's more pumpkins getting smashed and, you know, people, people just scratching that itch.

So you want to use this as inspiration is what you're saying. Start a movement. Start a movement. Oh, damn it. Okay. I thought this was going to be a cautionary tale and it turned into a movement. He's proud of it. He's proud of it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite band, Kyle? He's too young for this joke. Yeah, that's a tough one. I kind of, I don't really have one. It's too young.

I'm all over the place. Is that crazy? He's too young to get that joke. Kyle, if this was a joke question, what would the answer be? Oh, oh, smash from pumpkin. See, see God. Yeah. You just need to leave me a little bit.

Yeah. All right. All right. Well, this was fun, man. This was fun. You know what? Just because this wasn't where I was expecting this pumpkin story to go, doesn't mean I'm not really.

I like that you're disappointed that you didn't fuck the pumpkin. It's a good ending at the end of the day. It's kind of like, and I found $5. And I fucked the pumpkin. Kyle, I can't believe you did that to the RA's pumpkin. Shame on you. Shame on you, dude. Shame on you.

Kyle. Some days I feel bad. Oh, Kyle, a pumpkin smasher. Well, Kyle, I appreciate the story, dude.

Good talking to you. Yeah, thank you for having me on. Just wanted to give a little shout out to my brother, too, I didn't do it. Um, so shout out to him.

He listens every morning. I'm excited for him to hear this one. Hell yeah. Shout out to Kyle's brother. And say what you really want to say that rat that ratted you out about the pumpkin. If I ever see you again, especially with a pumpkin, I'm taking that thing and I'm smashing it six times. Nice. That's it.

No, you make him fucking. Also, I'd like to say that Miles said fucking a lot louder earlier. And this nice old couple just got up and we fucked out. Well, you've got to be quiet when we're doing this. Okay, Mr. Mezcal, relax. Oh, you forgot that this was a swanky bar where you drink. You drink one Mezcal in your life and Miles never lets you live it down. You know, it's a popular drink, Miles.

Do you ever drink, Mel? Do you know what Mezcal is? You know, I was just going to ask that question. No one knows. I couldn't be more right. That's crazy, man. that's crazy. It's a drink that guys like Charlie drink

to make themselves sound more sophisticated than they are. Yeah, it is. Yeah. It is. I just learned how to pronounce it the other day. So mescal. On the top of your mind. Of a miscal.

No, Kyle, you're a good guy, man. You're a good guy. Thank you. Yeah. Don't let this weigh on your soul anymore. Thank you. I appreciate it, boys. All right.

Thanks for calling in, my guy. No problem. Take it easy. See you soon. I think Kyle was... I'm like a good innocent story. I know. I think he's a little upset that I was, you know,

ragging on him for... I think he was upset by that? No. I think Kyle's a cool cat. No, I wasn't saying he wasn't cool. I just didn't want to upset him. I mean, if you just hate Kyle, just go ahead and say it, Charlie.

I like Kyle. I like Kyle. Hey, whoa, dude. I just relax. Miles, you're such a bully sometimes, dude. How many violas have you wrapped in Saran? Huh? None.

Uh-huh. Oh, we got another collars, Jared? Let's do it. You know that the mezcal, do you stay recording here, Jared. You know that the mezcal retaliation is for that one time that I said I tried a shaken espresso as Starbucks. Oh, that's such a.

And you let me have it. Oh, my God. And this is just me returning the favor. You know, you can just shut up. Oh, see, now Miles felt guilty. Look at that. No, no, no, no. I just want you to know that I never forget.

What was that drink you got from Starbucks again? Who doesn't get black coffee, though? I wanted to try something new. When in, where were we? We were in Appleton. We were in Appleton. When in Appleton, you try something new? Yeah.

We get to be whoever you want in Appleton. It's kind of like being on the boat. Yeah. It's kind of a full circle moment how we got on this conversation. It is. It is. You know, and in the same way,

I'm a black coffee guy and I enjoy like a nice mescal neat. Just the way you say neat. Neat. This makes me want to just suck you right in the nose. Do it. Do it. It's a big target miles. What if I did?

Frigan do it. What if I did? Would you do the next caller if I did? Yeah, with a broken nose. I just got a Kleenex out of it. He's bleeding all over the mic. It's like muffled because there's so much blood. It's like, Fycliffe, I want you to hit me as hard as you check.

Do you think you would if I, if I told you to? No, no, no, no. Because we got a lot of podcasting left to do. Yeah, we do. Wait for after. Like, as it currently stands, there's no end in sight for podcasting for us. That's true. Like, we've not determined like, oh, this is, this is where we want to end it.

So for the foreseeable future, if I sock you in the nose, I have that always weighing in my mind, when am I going to get suckered punched by Barron's? You know, and I like how you held. I can't remember that coffee thing. Isn't that funny? Yeah, I can't remember it, but you remember it. Every day you're waking up. I never forget.

Yeah, every time you go to the coffee shop, you're like, I'll just have it black. I don't get bullied by Barrens. Ian, how are you? Oh, I'm great. How are you? Doing real good, my guy. Where's Miles? I'm right here.

Oh, yeah. Where's Miles? Well, I don't know. I'm right here. I'm surprised you answer first, Charles. I'm surprised me out late. Really? All right, well, let's dive into that.

The psychology behind that. Why were you anticipating me answering first? I don't know. Charlie getting distracted or something. Distracted me? Yeah. with like an El Camino maybe. Yeah, you did get distracted earlier.

So you are spot on. Yeah. Every podcast I listen to. That's Charlie getting distracted at some point. Really? Dude. Every podcast. We did have just had.

We did ask the bar to turn off the chive TV for them too. Oh, God. They left two on. No. Well, Ian, what's going on today? Oh, not much. I got stung in the foot this morning. I stepped on a bumblebee.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah. You're not allergic, are you? Because if you are, you should hang up the phone and use an epipenner going to the doctor. Oh, no. No, it's fine. I just can't walk right now. It's too swollen.

Is a stinger still in there? I don't know. I think you're supposed to suck it out. It's like snake venom. Yeah. Can you suck someone around? Who will suck your foot? Set the phone down and I want you to start sucking on your foot for us.

Okay. Okay. Are you flexible? Oh, I'm very flexible. Damn. All right. Oh, my God. Did you just fake chow your foot?

Oh, yeah. Of course. Oof. What's happening? I don't know. What are we doing here, Ian? What's on your mind? Last caller, Charlie was a better.

He's begging him to fuck a pumpkin. What? No. Oh, God. He was begging him. No, the guy said he had a pumpkin story. I was like, I know where this is going. Well, I didn't go where I thought I was going.

Thankfully, thankfully. I don't know, Charlie. You might like that. Ian, I don't even know you, Ian. I know. That's crazy. Let's get to know him. Yeah, Ian, belly on up to the bar.

We got a seat right. here for you. What's on your mind? Oh, well, me and my girlfriend just moved into a house, and I have a full two-car garage that I can set up into my man cave. I just don't know what to do with it. Full two-car garage that you get to make into a man cave, huh? You and your girlfriend just moved into a house. Oh, yeah. Wrong order of operations there, Ian. waiting for you to say wrong order of operations you can buy a house but not a ring huh yeah that's another thing we've been together for seven years seven years is that right oh yeah yeah and she isn't deserve uh you know the real deal oh she does

she does so where are you waived for huh i don't know well broke you don't know how am i supposed to know. You're broke? You just bought a house. I wonder why you're broke. No, renting a house. You're renting. Well, that's different. Seeing how it goes. Or just throw money away all over the place. He's testing out the marriage is what he's doing. No. Yeah, you are. This is what we call a test drive in the car business. Yeah. You take it off the lot, you know, the resale value goes down, okay? That was a bad one. I don't know what's that applies to. I don't really know.

You're talking about his girlfriend? I'm talking about the car. I was talking about the car a lot. I was talking about the car. But then the metaphor. I know the metaphor kind of didn't make me look super good. I was in dad mode. I put my glasses on my nose every time I do that, Ian, just to give you a little viz.

So, yeah, so you're not super certain about your girlfriend, huh? Oh, I'm very certain. We have one kid, a five-year-old, and we have another on the way. Oh, okay. All right. Well, you know, sounds like you love her then, huh? Indeed, yeah. Yeah.

Okay. You got a foot issue with that be. Do your knees work? Oh, yeah. Or get down on one. I don't know if I'll get back up. That's the issue right now. What are you afraid of marriage for?

Yeah. Huh. Good question. Never really thought about it. I we'll come back to that okay we will come back to that

that's not why you called him why he called him he's got a man cave and he wants to know what to do with it yeah maybe it can be my next come cave what did you say

what did you say? Yeah the concave the man cave come come from the con cave can you spell that can you spell what you just said What, comment?

Yeah, I don't know what you're saying. C-U-N-T. Oh, wow. Okay, that's what I thought you said. Oh, oh, oh, the woman in Three Lakes said that. Yeah. It's a callback. It's a call back.

Oh, my God. First of all, I didn't get the T when you first said that. I thought it was an M. I thought he said a cum to. That's what I thought, too. Oh, I was like. Oh, pumpkin on the brain. Oh, maybe.

Maybe I'll switch. Sorry, we've been talking a lot of pumpkins on this episode. Yeah, this is, this is, we got to clean it up here. It's a kid show. So, listen, Ian, you're thinking, what are you going to do in your new man cave? That's why you're calling in. Yeah. Okay.

Well, since you don't know. What do you have? What are we working with so far? Like what? Yeah. Well, we have my girlfriend's motorcycle in there. I just recently sold mine so that one's next to go. And then I have about two project bikes coming in.

And that's what's going to be in there for the meantime. But you don't have like a workbench or shelving or anything in there? No. It's just raw. Blank slate, Charlie. Blank slate. Yeah. Well, what would you, if you had a blank slate of a garage, what would you do, Charlie?

Well, you just said it right there, workbench and shelving. You got to get a place to look at your things, you know, know where they are. Yeah. And I actually, I actually, part of my personal preference is not a, like a cabinet to put stuff in. I like seeing all of my stuff. Like, I prefer shelving over cabinets. Oh, 100%. Like every time I'm in the kitchen, I'm opening up the cabinet door.

and shutting it. Why? Yeah, I agree. It's a little different. I would say about the garage, but... Well, no, in the kitchen, too. Like, I don't want to guess where my coffee cups are every morning, you know? I just want to see it. Coffee cups are. Because they hide on you sometimes.

Dude, we had anything going, and then you said that. What? I'm talking in the garage. I know. I'm talking everywhere. I'm saying, take that same mentality you're talking about and move it inside. Okay. Cabinets are the worst invention ever. Okay.

Unless you're an earthquake-prone place and maybe they can keep those cuttlerly in there. Anyways, Ian. So my personal preference would be go shelving over cabinets or, you know, like even a, even like a metal cabinet, you know? Don't need that. Just get some shelving up. Yeah. I've seen a lot of the, I don't know. I've seen some school lockers.

I would be pretty cool to put in there, like the most school lockers. You want to have a panic attack every morning? Forget the combination? Yeah. That's what I thought too. Yeah. I can't even remember where my coffee cups are. We need a fire extinguisher.

Just hold on. God damn it. What is this one? I'll be a little OCD with that. It's not 6.9, 6.9, 420. that's what I'm doing right now. 8.08. That doesn't work.

8008 S, yes. 5. 5. 5. Not a S. That's a fancy. If it's got some numbers on it. If there's letters on it, just go B-O-O-B-S. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one.

My brain's some texture. Tell you know it's the last caller of the day. Yeah, I mean, you could go lockers, but then you're kind of committed to like a sports theme. Is that what you want to commit to? No, I'm not really. I'm in the sport. It's just a lot of like cars, uh, motorcycle stuff. Okay.

So I mean, I like the lockers. If you're going to hang your leather in there, you know, your assless chaps, your vest, your gloves. Put that in there. That's kind of a cool vibe. I would do it like that. Do it his and hers locker. Oh, yeah. I can do that. I can get on board with that. Yeah.

Don't put your tools in there. What? What? What did you say? I don't think she's going to be in the garage. I don't think Anita hasn't hurt. Okay. Well, I was just saying because you said you got her bike in there. Yeah. That could be also a buy-fold train. How did you sell your bike, but she didn't sell hers? I had a more expensive bike, so I figured I'd get the higher monthly payment out of the way. I'm surprised I'm surprised I sold it for as much as I did.

Let's go. I kind of a rip off, but I was honest about it, though. You ripped someone off? And you told them that? I didn't rip them off. Well, okay, I totally blew book it in the value of it, private selling a high value. you was 7,700. He bought it for 86, which I was honest.

I didn't rip them all. Or he knows something you don't know. Yeah. Oh, mom. Well, it was all stock, too. So that'll probably help. Yeah. Fuck it.

Go away. I'm on the phone. Is that your kid? Yeah. Yeah. It's a cute kid. Where's your wife at or your girlfriend? She's sitting inside.

Is she? Oh, yeah. Does she know that you're out here planning how to keep her out of the garage? Oh, no, I'm not planning. I was trying to detach garage for that reason. That is smart. Whatever you do in this garage, you've got to be, you've got to know that it's a rental, okay? That's true.

You're going to be, you're going to have to give it away, and you're possibly going to have to reverse whatever you do. so yeah yeah hopefully we'll buy this house the owners in Georgia so they're like four states away you think they'll sell it to you I sure hope so it's a nice house

old lady's house for sure okay well if you want to do lockers hang your leather in there how's that sound that's good what else have you been thinking about well I've been looking at a lot of carpentry stuff that was for like a few days and then I just recently got off the marketplace

looking at a tire changer and a balancer. Cool. That's a lot of unrealistic stuff. Dude, nothing's better than walking through the tool store and just look at all the stuff and you're like, I can find a reason to buy that. Oh, gosh. Exactly.

I was just walking through shields yesterday to get some shoes. and apparently they don't sell them at the small store. You got to go to the big store. Oh, you went to the small store? Yeah, I didn't know there was a big and a small store. I didn't know. But point being, I was going through, I took a little meander through the aisles and, you know.

Wait, did you go to Shields Home and Hardware? I don't know. I went to the one without freaking shoes. You went to Shields and Hardware. I said, Miles, does Shields have shoes? And you said, oh, yeah, that's where I did my Holka thing. And I said, okay. So I put Shields in.

I went to Shields. Did you go to Shields Home and Hardware? I do not live in Shieldsland, Miles. I live in Fleet Farmland. What's so funny is like Shields Home and Hardware shutting down at the end of the year, too. Really? That's probably they had some good sales going, probably. Was there a lot of like grills and stuff?

Yeah, there was freaking couches there, man. I was like, what place has couches and no shoes? He went to Shields yesterday to get some shoes. he went to shields home in hardware why is that so funny and wondered why there was no shoes why are you laughing too yeah

why do you because we have a giant shields it's like the biggest shields in the world she told me she said you gotta go to the big shields I was like well I didn't see big shields on my friggin map okay that is the most

Charlie thing I have ever heard Okay, Miles, let's rewind to this conversation. Miles, does Shields have shoes? Oh, yeah, they got shoes. I just thought all the shields were the same. When you walked up and it said big letters, Shields, Holman Hardware, where you're not like, oh, God,

you think they got shoes here? Shields, shoes. That's why I said. I'll defend Charlie on this. Some of them do. Yeah. Some of them do, yeah. Some of the home and hardware sell shoes?

yeah some of them really i didn't even know there were two different types of shields i think they must be phasing them out or something wild dude wild oh that's so funny every fleet farm has shoes i'll tell you that you did did you get any shoes i did but i didn't i had to go to the mall which sucked if you would have just gone just a little bit further you would have hit shields i was almost going to call you and ask you why you had uh why you didn't specify which shields I should have gone to. You would think that it being so obvious that you're laughing at me right now. Yesterday you would be like, hey, make sure you go to the big store.

No, because I never would even imagine someone would end up at Shields home and hardware. Oh, my God. Because if you type in Shields on your GPS, guaranteed the first one that's got to show up is just the regular Shields. Did you pick the second option? I probably picked the one closest to the bar we were at yesterday. You know what? This is not about. which that wouldn't have been,

that would have been further away. You went past, you probably went past the other shields to get to home and hardware. I probably did, Miles. I probably, Ian, back me up again.

Remind Miles that this isn't crazy. That is not crazy. Thank you. I have to, Miles or Charlie gets picked on too much around this podcast, I will say. Thank you. For Charlie.

I have sympathy for him. Thank you. I appreciate that about you, Ian. when are you going to get married? Ah, see. This is why I kept picked on. No, to your man cave point, I think that as a guy,

there's nothing better than scour in Facebook marketplace looking for stuff to put in your garage. I got the garage at the lake here that I'm going to start adding stuff to, and it's just the best to go on there and see some random stuff because I also like a garage

that's full of random stuff. stuff. Yeah, I've seen a lot of neon signs for them on marketplace over here. Okay. Neon shines would be sick. You got a Harley. You get a cool Harley Davidson sign, neon sign. Ah, no, no, Harley.

Oh, he's a... A little bit. That's a two-stroke. What? You're a crotch rocket guy. I like the naked bites. You got a ninja? my girlfriend knows

there we go is it pink no it's not she wanted to make it pink though you could have made it happen those things are dangerous man are you worried about that her yes me no

I know it's just a matter of time and that's why I told it oh it's only a matter of time until you do something bad I already did but See, everyone that I know them that has a crotch rocket is dead. It's everyone I knew who had it.

I got out of my work has one arm because of it. Really? If that's not a cautionary tale for you, what is? I don't know. See, you can do a lot with an amputeeed arm. Is he still biking? No, he got rid of it. Yeah.

Yeah. You could have a cool prosthetic. When you said you could do a lot with an amputee arm, I thought you meant that they let them keep it. No, we're not going back to the finger one. That would be a huge one to keep. Yeah, I mean, you've got to be safe on those things. Those things are dangerous.

Yeah, this is now the PSA portion of the podcast. Hey, what? If you got a crotch rocket, sell it. Yeah, sell your crotch, rocket. You ever go to estate sales or flea markets? It's like Facebook marketplace in real life. I don't know. Flea markets here, man.

What? No, dude, you've got to go to a flea market. Flea markets might be one of the greatest things. There's one down the road called Shady Hollow. You want to go this weekend? I would love to go. Let's go do a video. on that. Yeah. That would be great.

Because you can also, you can go there and you can do a little haggling too. You can get the best price. I'm so bad at haggling. I can't do it. The best thing is with an estate sale. They also just don't know

the prices of a lot of things because it's usually the family that's just like, I don't know, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see a lot of estate sales. I'm a mailman and a lot of people die on my route. We got another male man here. A lot of people die on my

route, he said. Test your mail, dude. Yeah. You ever found anthrax in mail? Wouldn't I be dead? Well, the correct answer was I don't open people's mail. So you failed that and Charlie got you.

I see. It was a trick question and you screwed the pooch. Yeah. Yeah, I don't even check my own mail Lolo and other people. Have you ever had any issues with the mail inspector? Postal inspector? No.

Well, they're in our facility a lot because it's kind of a shit show. Are you scared of them? No. No, I'm not. Do they have a big gun? Possibly. Yeah, they carry a gun. We knew that already.

That was a test for you to see if you really knew what you're talking about. We've been thinking about doing your job. show called Magnum P.I. Which is Magnum Postal Inspector. Do you think it has legs? No, that'd probably be the most boring show ever.

It's just a lot of counterfeit tags and shit. Okay, but that's some serious stuff. Catch me if you can. It is. One people get creative with it. It's kind of crazy how well they can do. Are you walking or are you driving the mail truck? I drive.

Does anyone walk? anymore? Oh yeah. I got people walk in my neighborhood. How fast can that truck get up to? They governed it at 69 miles an hour. It's one of the new ones. Really? I know, right.

One of the new ones. I'm talking about the old school ones. Oh, I don't know. My spodomero never worked in it. It would always go from like zero to 85 and like below it to where no numbers are. So you can really tell. Do you think you could, with the money you make, selling your wife's

Spike, do you think you'd be able to buy a mail truck? No. They don't have them for sale around here. They're scrapping all the old ones, which I'm pretty sad about. Why are these? Because I would buy them. I don't know. I was off the stupid.

They could make so much money selling those things. I know. I looked one up on a, you can go on government websites and bid on them, and I think one of them got up to like $10,000 and it had engine issues. too. Well, that's just a waste of money. Yeah. What we like to do?

Although it's souped up mail truck would be that'd be a great work truck, honestly. Yeah. It would. Have you guys seen the guy who turned the mail truck into a drag

drag car? No. I'll have to YouTube that later. Pretty neat. All right. Did we help you with your garage? I don't know.

I feel like we got off topic. I think you just hodgepodge it. You know what hodgepodge is? I think so. Did you ever play Tony Hawk American Wasteland growing up? Was that PlayStation 2? Yeah. So basically the concept is,

is you go around completing challenges. And then when you complete a challenge, you get a cool new feature for your American Wasteland Scape Park. and so you need to just start experiencing life and collect things that all have a story behind it to turn into the garage. It's like a tattoo. Yeah, I used to have two car bumpers

from when I got an accident. I was going to put those up here, but make them into shelves. There you go. A little bumper shots. Those bumpers were pretty up. Even better. Then they have a story.

They're a conversation piece. Yeah, or it's like a temper. Prairie Arts or something installation I know yeah I already got the staff for keeping them for so long that's why I got rid of them okay so you didn't have it anymore yeah I know I have the logos of them though there you go put a magnet on the back you got a magnet

for your beer fridge yeah do you have a fridge in there yet no I only have one outlet in here which kind of sucks one outlet in the are you kidding me yeah it's old it's old house you got getting an electrician in there. I told you not to... Just do what we do in our office and just run one extension cord with like 45 different three-pronged plugged in.

Clark Griswold it. Yeah, do you just... That's kind of what I do. Just Clark Griswolded. We did that and the fire inspector came in and she audibly laughed at our situation. And just said, I haven't seen much with that big of a rat's nest before. Is this your current office? Oh, yeah, our old office.

Oh, you're the old one. Yeah. So, uh, they don't even come back. So you're good. She passed you? No, we failed. What are they going to do? Fire inspection jail?

Yeah. Find you? I don't know. Is your wife home now? No, she went to work. They're having some, I think they got locked out. So she had to go on lots of door for them. What's all that chitter chatter in the background?

You're watching the tally? No, that's my kid's tablet. She's out riding her bike. And you're watching her tablet while she bikes. Billy. Yeah. Bluey is great. It is a good show. Charlie watches Bluey quite a bit.

Great character arts. Bonnie. All right. well yeah this hodgepodge it okay i'll hodgepodge it american tony hawk american wasteland it that's that's actually what i plan to do in my garage yeah you're gonna do that here at the lake what's one thing you want in your garage you don't currently have in your garage miles i need to find a tool chest a tool bench i actually have two work benches uh-huh i got a nice

pegboard nice the the one workbench and pegboard was here from the guy that i bought it from so it's pretty cool. And so now I just need to start building it out. Start getting collected more tools, maybe go to shady hollow, get some old stuff, put it up and yeah. Yeah.

All right. Well, hey, we'll go do the flea market this weekend and make it happen. Yeah. And Ian, what we're going to need you to do is hit up your mail route, some of those recent dead folks, and see if they left some behind.

Oh, really a lot. Can't take it to heaven. Heaven knows you needed it. in Ian's new garage. So... I can get used to that. Yeah. I just picked up a bunch of wood

in my little Kia Soul and brought it home. There you go. There you go. Wood in your Kia Soul? Oh, dude. You drive a crotch rocket and a Kia Soul. Oh, yeah.

Well, it's a Kiosol turbo. Of course it's a turbo. Is the keyosol the one with the curved back window in the corner? A corner. Like, do you know what I'm talking about? It's like a square. I think it's a Nissan Cube.

Oh, regardless. Same concept. I fucking hate that car. You should. Dude Daddy had that car originally. Yeah. He sold? No, he had the Nissan Pube or Cube.

Pube. I think he had that. That's like the spoxy-looking car, right? All right. Yeah. Yeah. He had that. He had that.

Oh, I hate that car so much. Yeah, I don't think he liked it a whole lot either. But you can wipe it all. You can spray it out, basically. Oh, it's like all plastic on the inside? Yeah. There's no carpet. I think that's what he had.

It was some boxy-looking thing. I don't think it was a sion. Anyways, we've really taken this conversation in 20 different. Just hodgepodge. This whole conversation is a hodgepodge. This conversation's in this state sale of our minds. that's true Ian what are you doing

over there I don't know I'm just pacing back here I'm just chilling did you say you were smoking weed that's my pen Let's go I'm not smoking actual bud

Okay yeah you're right He drives a crotch rocket And a key of soul Of course he's hit in the vape pen Were you high when you fall off your bike Ian I didn't fall off the bike You said you had an accident

Oh, no, that was a car accident. Those two of them. Same question. Weren't my fault, by the way. Okay. Well, Ian, I think you just hodgepodge it. Okay. Hodgepodge all the way.

Yeah, just close. Oh, my kid draw some shit on the wall too. Let's go. There you go. You put a picture frame around it and it's art. Yes. Yes. Chalk sticks good to this wall.

I found out. Mm-hmm. All right. All right. All right, Ian. Well, we thanks for calling in today, dude. And good luck wrangling in the kid. knows. Oh yeah. That's going to be a adventure. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Sounds like that pen's working for you, too, my guy.

It is. It's making the B-foot feel a little better. I forgot a whole about that. I got stung this morning of the things still swelled up. Let's go. Yeah. You might have to pee on it. I guess that's what you got to do. Yeah, we already tried to suck it on it. I kind of just tip-tonged it. Tong-tipped it. You're feeling pretty good, Ian? Yes. Yeah.

Oh, good. All right. Well, you have a good one, okay? Go eat something fun. I don't know. I just have Chinese so far. All right. Go ahead.

We know that. All right. Be good, my guy. Oh, man. that one was I mean if you jumped in and out of that call just a little bit you didn't miss anything

no you did you missed a lot you would have no it you thought it was a new call yeah but you would have the same idea of what was going on as if you listened to the whole thing that's true that's true all right well Charlie is that another episode of the bellied up podcast

I think that wraps it up tight here miles wraps it up tight. Another episode in the tank, and you guys make sure you tip your bartender. We'll see you the next one. Okay, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.

Toot-loo.