Benjamen Walker's Theory of Everything - 70×7 (Holy War part II of II)

Episode Date: December 29, 2015

The second half of our  sly-fi story about redemption, forgiveness and torture.  Margo hopes to leave Christian America with Ali Baba ( a terrorist clone she was given as recompense for the death of her husband). But can they escape before evil Freddie catches wind of their plans? Plus a meditation on the parable of the unforgiving servant.

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Episodes every other week at neverpo.st and wherever you find pods. You are listening to Benjamin Walker's Theory of Everything. This installment is called Holy War, Part 2. Two days before Margo and Alibaba were due to set out for Alaska, Norma caught Freddie stealing a can of Americoke from the office refrigerator. She walked over to Margo's desk and whispered into her ear, 490. Game over for Freddy. Margo got up from her desk and hurried into the kitchen. She pulled out the piece of paper they kept hidden behind the water cooler. She counted the marks.

Sure enough, there were 490. Margo walked back to her desk and looked over at Norma. Norma was beaming. She had been looking forward to this day for quite some time. For Margo had promised her that once Freddie passed the 490 mark, she would back Norma up when she reported Freddie for the sin of stealing. At lunch, after Paul left them alone, Margo begged Norma to soften her heart. No, Norma said firmly. Freddie has already had more chances than she deserves,

and you know as well as I do that she would never give anyone, not even her mother, a second chance. We've given her 489. At least. Margo lowered her eyes. Yes, Norma hissed. Don't think I haven't noticed the slack that you've been cutting her. It was true. Margo had stopped recording after Freddy broke the 400 mark. But Norma, Margo begged, Freddy has children. I know that, Norma replied. Think of the horrors they must be subjected to. Face it, Margo.

Freddy is a monster. She's mean and she's cruel. She terrorizes everyone in this office. We live in constant fear because of her. And now it is time for her to go. When we're finished with lunch, I'm going to report her for stealing. And you are going to back me up like you promised me you would. And that will be the end of it. But Norma, Margo was pleading now,

if we turn Freddy in, they will torture her. It's not our fault that Freddy is a liar, a slanderer, and a thief. But think about how much she will suffer. I do think about her suffering. And to tell you the truth, Margo, I like to think of her suffering. I'm sorry, but Freddy's evil. And if anyone deserves to suffer, it's her. Margo reached across the table and took Norma by the hand. Think of what you're

saying, Norma. Norma yanked her hand away and covered her eyes with it. Then tell me what to do, Margo, because I have to do something. I want you to forgive Freddy. Why? Because it's what God wants us to do. So you want me to keep turning a blind eye? No, not a blind eye. A forgiving eye. Norma remained silent for a moment. And then she nodded her head. Okay, Margo.

Margo could see that her friend was being sincere, and it made her want to tell her everything. How in two days she'd be leaving for Vermont with Ali Baba in search of the Alaskan Underground Railway. But she bit her lip, for even though she knew Norma was her true friend, she was still uncertain of what she would make of her newfound happiness with the infidel. So instead, she decided to write Norma a note. After lunch, she turned the tally sheet over, the one with the 490 marks on it, and wrote, Dear Norma, When you read this, I will be on my way to Alaska. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, and I hope that you will forgive me,

and think of me as often as I will think of you. I am not alone. I have a new friend. His name is Alibaba. Remember the clone I got as recompense for Albert? Well, instead of torturing and killing him, I chose to forgive him. Obviously, he couldn't stay in Christian America, and at first, I simply planned to help him get to Alaska, and that would be the end of it. But well, I have decided to go with him. He is very kind and handsome. I think I'm even beginning to fall in love with him.

I know this will come as a shock to you, but please don't think I've lost my mind. Far from it, Norma. I still believe in Jesus, and I plan on remaining a Christian, even though I'll be living in a country that is known for its cosmopolitanism. I wish there was a way for me to contact you when I get there and tell you about what things are like, but we both know that will be impossible. Please don't think me selfish, but it is my hope that one day you will come and live with us.

I think it would be best if you burned this note. Even though it means destroying the record of Freddy's 490 stolen Americokes. Perhaps you can start another one. And every time you make a mark, you can think of me. I am so happy, Norma, that you were able to forgive Freddie, because really, there is no other way. If we want God to forgive us our sins, then we must forgive the sins of others. I love you, Norma, and I look forward to the day we'll be together again." When Margot got home, she read Ali Baba the note,

leaving out only the part about her starting to fall in love and he being handsome. She was too shy and modest to read something like that out loud. Alibaba listened with amazement. What do you think she will think about me? About us? Oh, it will totally blow her mind. Margo imagined Norma reading the letter and laughed. She'll probably fall out of her chair. And why do you think she will one day come to Alaska to be with us? Because, Margo replied,

deep down inside, I've always suspected that Norma is secretly a cosmopolitan. And everybody knows that Alaska is the cosmopolitan capital of the world. That night, Margo dreamed about her future life with Alibaba. They lived in Alaska in a beautiful house with six children. Some of the children were white and some were brown, but they were all gorgeous. And there were peach trees in the backyard. Everyone in Alaska was kind and friendly, and there were always neighborhood parties and celebrations where the children would play games while the adults roasted bananas and drank out of triangle-shaped glasses. It was a perfect existence, except for one thing.

For some reason, in the basement, there was a door next to the radiator. And as the years progressed, as the children grew older and began happy families of their own, this door grew in size. And then, one day, Margo decided to open the door, just an inch to see what was behind it. But as soon as she turned the handle, whatever was on the other side threw all of its weight on it, and the door swung open, knocking Margo to the floor.

It was Freddy. She was wearing her silver jumpsuit, and she held a hammer in one hand and a hacksaw in the other. Margo scrambled to her feet and started up the stairs. Freddy threw back her head and let out a murderous howl, and then she started after her. Margo woke up in Alibaba's arms, but her fear was so terrible, so fierce, he was unable to quell her shivering. And so they passed away the night, trembling in the darkness, together. In the book of Matthew, Peter approaches Jesus and asks him, Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? Jesus answers, I say unto you, seventy times, seven times. And then he tells all his disciples the parable of the unforgiving

servant. The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt. At that, the servant fell down and begged, Be patient with me, master. I promise you I'll pay the debt back in full. Moved with compassion, the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan. As soon as that servant had left,

he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, Pay back what you owe! Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, Be patient with me, and I will pay you back. But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt in full. Now, when his fellow servant saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair. His master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.

Should you not have pity on your fellow servant as I had pity on you? Then, in anger, his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the debt in its entirety. This idea of a forgiveness that is conditional is the guiding force of Margot's religious worldview. She believes, as Jesus says also in the book of Matthew, if you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you your transgressions. This is why she is so opposed to turning Freddie in for the sin of stealing. For she believes with all her heart that God will not forgive her her sins if she cannot find it in her to forgive Freddie's sins. Norma, however, wanted to turn Freddie in the very first time she caught her stealing a can of Americoke. Because the guiding force of Norma's religious worldview is an absolute hatred of hypocrisy. Freddie lies, cheats, slanders, and steals.

But yet she also prides herself on pointing out even the slightest faults in others. And since the laws of Christian America are so barbaric, the consequences of Freddie's tattletailing are more often than not devastating. So why then does Norma agree to Margot's requests? If Norma finds Freddie's hypocrisy so loathsome, how could she then agree to forgive Freddie not only 490 times, but an infinite number of times? There are two reasons. The first is that in theory, Norma aspires to be more like Margot.

Margot responds to cruelty only with kindness, and she counters hatred always with compassion. In Norma's eyes, Margot is the antithesis of hypocrisy. The second reason is sheer practicality. Norma correctly believed that it would only be a matter of time before Freddie stole 490 cans of Americoke. And then, when she realizes that Margot actually means to forgive Freddie indefinitely, she still believes that eventually someone will catch Freddie and turn her in. Norma believes that Freddie will eventually be punished for her hypocrisy, just as the ungrateful servant was punished. The guiding force of Freddie's religious worldview is unconditional

forgiveness. Freddie believes that, as Luke says in the book of Acts, everyone who believes in him will receive forgiveness of sins through his name. This is why Freddie never bothers with the rite of confession. Of course, she knows that sinning is wrong, and she knows that God would be happier if she cut out all her lying, stealing, snooping, and snitching. But since she believes that God's forgiveness is unconditional, she doesn't pay that much attention to her own sins. In fact, Freddie possesses not a single shred of self-awareness.

In this sense, Freddie is like the unforgiving servant. Like him, she is unaware of even the golden rule that one should treat others the same way one would like to be treated by others. But the servant's wickedness pales in comparison to Freddie's. For while he is unable to show his fellow servant the same mercy his master had shown unto him, Freddie refuses mercy to the very person who was merciful unto her.

On the day before Margo was set to leave for Alaska with Alibaba, Margo placed the letter she'd written to Norma in the bottom drawer of Norma's desk, where she knew Norma would find it the following Monday. Freddie saw her doing this, and being nosy, fished it out when Norma and Margo and Paul were having their last lunch together in the cafeteria. She took it into the bathroom and locked herself in one of the stalls. Then she opened it and read it.

When she finished, Freddie tore everything up and flushed the scraps of paper down the toilet. Then she went and reported Margot to the father superior. The figure of 70 times 7 does not make an appearance in the Quran. But Muhammad does lay out the requirements necessary for one to receive forgiveness from God. If the offense is one committed against God himself, there are three. One, recognizing the offense itself and its admission before God. Two, making a commitment not to repeat the offense. And three, asking for forgiveness from God. If the offense is one committed against another human being or against society, there are four requirements.

One, recognizing the offense before those against whom the offense was committed and before God. Two, committing oneself not to repeat the offense. Three, asking God for forgiveness. And four, doing whatever needs to be done to rectify the offense. While the Bible presents us with conflicting passages as to what the exact nature of God's forgiveness is, the Quran makes it clear that there is no such thing as unconditional forgiveness. In order to receive God's forgiveness, he requires that we not only forgive the offenses of others

as we would have him forgive us our own offenses, but he also requires that we commit ourselves to rectifying our offenses. This is the guiding force of Ali Baba's religious worldview. He believes that since he is responsible for the death of Margot's husband, then it is his duty to be her new husband. Ali Baba takes the concept of rectification very seriously, perhaps even too seriously. For the Quran states we are only required to rectify our offenses within reason, and it is not reasonable to take up the marital responsibilities of the person that you have murdered.

But it would be unfair of us to judge Alibaba because the cloning process wiped out his mind. And this is the major flaw of Alibaba's religious worldview. Missing facts. There was no bomb.

The plane Albert was on blew up because the fuel tanks were loaded improperly. Alibaba was hiding in the baggage compartment, not as a terrorist, but rather as a stowaway. He was on his way to South America. He had deserted from the United Arabian Army. And he was on his way to Brazil in search of a new life. Ali Baba is therefore like the man who was told by the scholar of Allah that forgiveness is contingent on a change in direction. As Muhammad says time and time again, God demands that we always be moving in the direction of the truth, the light, and the way. The major flaw of Margot's religious worldview is that she equates her loneliness and unhappiness with sin.

When she was a child, both of her parents were killed by heretics. She grew up in an orphanage, and whenever she would cry, the nuns would beat her and accuse her of being ungrateful. And when Albert came and took her away, it was only under the condition that she cook, clean and bear him children. She performed her household duties to his satisfaction, but miscarried their only child, Annie. When she cried over this loss, Albert accused her of sloth and laziness.

Margot's determination to forgive even the sins of someone like Freddie stemmed from her desperate desire for divine forgiveness. Perhaps if Margot had made it to Alaska, then she could have enrolled in therapy and discovered that what she really needed was to forgive herself. How many sessions this would have taken, though, we have no way of knowing. The major flaw in Norma's religious worldview is her belief that evil will always be punished. She foregoes turning Freddie in because she believes that inevitably Freddie will be caught and brought to justice. But Freddie never has to account for herself. In fact, after the Margot incident, she gets promoted. She gets her own office. Freddie is therefore in the end not like the ungrateful servant at all, for while he ends

up thrown to the torturers, she remains a torturer until the end of her life. Freddie lives to the ripe age of 79. On her deathbed, she has her grandchildren bring her baby infidels, whom she places underneath her body until they're crushed by her massive bulk. And when she does die, it is with a smile on her face, for Freddie never once stopped believing unconditionally in God. Thirty-five years before Freddie passes on, Norma decides to emigrate to the Republic of Alaska. Unfortunately, though, she doesn't make it. She's captured at the Massachusetts border

and burned at the stake, along with a 14-year-old boy accused of excessive masturbation. Thank you. On the day before Margo was due to set out for Alaska with Alibaba, Mary Kate caught Freddie snooping around in Norma's desk. She watched Freddie take a letter from the bottom drawer and slip it into her pocket. Mary Kate, who was no friend of Freddie's, decided to go and find Norma. She found her in the cafeteria, eating lunch with Paul and Margo. When she told Norma what she'd just witnessed, Margot turned white, excused herself, and left the room.

Margot took the back stairs to the first floor. She climbed out a bathroom window, which led to a back alley. She ran up Tremont Street until she found a taxi. She got in and gave him her address. As they flew across town, she formulated a plan. She would wrap Ali Baba's head and hands up with bandages. They would then take a taxi to the car dealership. If they could get to the car dealership before Freddy did anything, then they might still make it.

If anyone asked any questions, she would simply say she was driving her sick husband to his doctor's appointment. When they came to the house, she asked the taxi driver to wait until she came back for her husband. Ali Baba was sitting in the basement, reading the book of Job. Margot immediately started shoving things into a duffel bag. Underwear, toothpaste, towels. I do not understand why your god must play so many games, Alibaba said, looking up from the book.

Margot handed him his toga and a pair of scissors. She told him to start cutting it into long strips. Then she told him what had just happened. Alibaba didn't say anything. He simply picked up the scissors and began to cut the toga. Just as Margot started wrapping Alibaba's face with the bandages, she heard the unmistakable sound of the sirens. At first, it was just a faint murmur, a faraway moan. But when the four church police cars pulled up on the front lawn, the noise was deafening. Margot realized that the sirens made the same sound Freddie made whenever she yelled at someone in the office.

It was just louder, amplified. Freddie amplified to the power of 70 times 7. Margo grabbed Alibaba by the hand and pushed him into the closet. She went in after him and pulled the door shut behind them. They could hear the church cops walking around upstairs now. Margo unwrapped the bandages from the lower part of Alibaba's face and gave him a kiss on the mouth. He put his arms around her, and they stood like this in the still of their embrace and waited. You have been listening to Benjamin Walker's Theory of Everything. This installment is called Holy War, Part 2.

This episode was written and produced by myself, Benjamin Walker. Special thanks to Celeste Lai and Mathilde Biot. Visit toe.prx.org for more information about the show. And extra, extra special thanks to Roman Mars and all of my Radiotopia brothers and sisters. You can join our party at Radiotopia.fm Radiotopia

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