Benjamen Walker's Theory of Everything - Bonus 2018

Episode Date: December 20, 2018

Earlier this summer at a listener meet up in Vancouver your host learned the difference between Listeners and Fans. Find out why this distinction matters. And if you are a fan or a listener donate now to the 2018 Radiotopia campaign! Also: Benjamen and Andrew talk about 2019 AND a bonus segment from ToE special corespondent Chris.

You are listening to Benjamin Walker's Theory of Everything. At Radiotopia, we now have a select group of amazing supporters that help us make all our shows possible. If you would like to have your company or product sponsor this podcast, then get in touch. Drop a line to sponsor at radiotopia.fm. Thanks. episode. Why is there something called influencer voice? What's the deal with the TikTok shop? What is posting disease and do you have it? Why can it be so scary and yet feel so great to block someone on social media? The Neverpost team wonders why the internet and the world because of the internet is the way it is. They talk to artists, lawyers, linguists, content creators, sociologists, historians, and more about our current tech and media moment. From PRX's Radiotopia, Never Post, a podcast for and about the Internet.

Episodes every other week at neverpo.st and wherever you find pods. I am subscribed to 34 podcasts and some of them are ones that as soon as there's a new episode of that podcast in my feed so for example yours or 99% Invisible one of those like they go to the top of my list right away when there's a new episode. And then others, I let them kind of pile up. And then when I'm doing dishes or folding laundry or whatever, then I might listen to two or three in a row. But, like, they're kind of the filler ones. I listen to a lot of podcasts, but I'm not a fan of all of them. When I was in Vancouver this past summer, I met up with a bunch of Theory of Everything listeners for, well, a Theory of Everything listener meetup. But according to the wonderful Ashra Kohatkar, who organized the whole thing, listener is not the word I should be using.

She says the correct term is fan. And she says this distinction is important. I am happy to shout from the rooftops about what a good show you have. And I think your podcast is a very good candidate for having a high fan-to-listener ratio. Because you dig so deep that it's like, you can't, like, you can't, like,

lightly engage with your show. That's great. Yep, you can't just do the dishes. You have to, like, sit on the floor and hold the dishes. That's right. And, like, you know. Anticipation. And dread.

Yes, and dread. None of the other podcasts that I listen to are at all like Theory of Everything. Your podcast is special. It is in a niche all of its own. Because it's kind of weird, and it's very smart. There aren't a lot of podcasts that are like that. Yeah, but now you're embarrassing me. You're making me blush.

Oh, well. I'm assuming that you've donated to Radiotopia. I am a sustaining member of Radiotopia. Of course you are. And I think the reason that I did that was the idea that these shows might go away if I weren't willing to put my money where my ears are, I guess, and sign up to support them, right? Yeah, and it's really great to hear you say this

because one of the awesome things about Radiotopia is that we have different streams of revenue. But for the shows that are a little weirder, like mine, the most important stream is the listener support. So it really does make a difference. I mean, a lot when fans like you open up your hearts and your wallet and throw us a few bucks.

You know, like when we met up in Vancouver, like you were joking on the most recent episode that you were going to fire Andrew. And he, my husband and I, were super worried. We're like, oh no, we got to give Benjamin some money because he might fire Andrew. And he, my husband and I, were super worried. We're like, oh no, we gotta give Benjamin some money because he might fire Andrew. Totally.

And Andrew's right here. He's still here. He's working. He's actually doing the dishes at the moment. But he's here. That's funny. Just earning his keep

for Andrew. Oh my God. This is a window into your, into your face. All right, dear listener, or since this is our official Radiotopia 2018 fundraiser bonus episode, I'm going to just go with,

okay, dear fan, this is going to be a tiny peek into the world of Benjamin Walker's theory of everything. And look, TOE's Andrew Calloway is finished with the dishes, so we can get to it. Hey, Andrew. Hey there, Benjamin. I was listening to you talk to Ashera, and I was wondering, you know, because I haven't really thought about it, you know, I just cashed the checks, but how much of my money is coming from, you know, listeners versus ads or whatever

else? Well, the way we structured Radiotopia was so that we were never totally dependent on, you know, one revenue stream. So the ads or listener support or foundations, the goal was to create a revenue stream that was a mix of all three but for shows that are a bit weird or different you know i can definitely speak for myself you know for the theory of everything the majority of the support we get comes from the listener stream and in the future i imagine this may be even more true well in that case i've got some good news for you. While you were talking with Astra, we hit the Radiotopia fundraiser goal of 25,000 donors. Oh, that is so amazing. And I just want to say thank you to every single one of you out there

who's already added your name to the list. To be honest, I thought this might happen because they scheduled the Theory of Everything bonus episode to go out two days before the fundraiser ended. And I'm like, hmm, I bet you we may hit the goal by then. So I'm going to need to come up with a plan B for what I'm gonna do and I thought oh I could talk about what I'm going to do in 2019 with the show and that way I might be able to convince all of the folks out there who haven't already donated to add their names to the Radiotopia Book of Life.

Indeed, you know, we have two days left. We can move this needle even further. It's kind of a shame though, that we're opening the window on the Theory of Everything back room today, because you know, things are, fuck. We're in New York. The window's still open actually, hold on.

Ah. We're keeping all this. The window's still open, actually. Hold on. Ah. We're keeping all this. We're putting all this in. There we go. Three, two. No wonder. Okay. Three, two, one.

It's kind of a shame, though, that I'm opening the window on the Theory of Everything backroom today because, you know, things are so messy. Things are so chaotic. The next Theory of Everything miniseries is called Failure, and Andrew and I are deep into it. We've already recorded about seven interviews in the past week and a half or so. Four more scheduled. So, you know, the wires everywhere, the food on the floor, the dirty dishes, the piles of recordings. You know, and books everywhere. It's not normally like this here at TOEHQ.

It's not? No. I mean, you think things are going to be less chaotic when we're in the middle of failure? Because, you know, it was not that tranquil when we were like seven episodes deep in the false alarm. All right. Well, you know, I'm not going to lie. It's always going to be chaotic here. I don't think it's ever probably going to be simple, clean.

I don't think that's what we're about here. Well, Benjamin, you know, I think I figured that one out before I even met you. And that's what I love about it. All right. Well, I do have some news. After failure, we are going to do a bunch of singly contained episodes. A bunch. And we're going to sift through the post-failure wreckage and try a bunch of new things.

Like being successful? Yes. That, of course. That is what comes after failure. I've studied the economics. I've read all the textbooks. And I even know a guy who taught me some tricks that he learned back in the wake of the financial crisis. Are you talking about Chris?

Yep. And I thought for this specially themed bonus episode on money, I would share with you all a story he told me back in about 2011. This is from my old podcast called Too Much Information. It was in an episode called The Cost of Living. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from one of the largest Wall Street firms to come up to New York and participate in a special project. Why would they call you? You don't have anything to do with finance. Well, I get a lot of calls like this. Why?

Well, that's how it works. Industry is always interested in plugging in government guys. So that's how I ended up participating in this Wall Street focus group. You said yes? Well, it was the night out at Scores. What? Yeah, this is what they told me on the phone. Apparently, Scores is where all the new and exotic financial instruments get invented.

The normal ones, the plain vanilla ones, they get made back at the office. But the really exciting ones are actually made in strip clubs. So you're saying that Wall Street now has the balls that they can just call up ex-government employees and offer them a free night out on the town at a strip club? Dude, they won. They all got off scot-free. All the guys that completely imploded the economy. The Justice Department isn't prosecuting any of them. So they have our tax dollars, they have full immunity, and they are ready to party. So why are they even calling any ex-government employees?

Well, my theory is that, yeah won they got all the money they can do whatever they want they know they're not going to go to jail but they really hated the finger pointing they're looking for more friends of friends i guess and now you're signing up to be one of their new friends? No, no, no, no. Sometimes, when the system fails, it's up to one man to make things right. Oh, of course. This is about truth and justice.

I forgot. Nah. Payback. I arrive at the club and I'm just told to give a name to the door people and they walk me through the club into this back room

and I'm looking around and there's strippers and stuff everywhere and I notice actually a few people that I recognize from DC but mostly it's Wall Street guys you know the Wall Street look they're walking around with their

really expensive shirts and ties with their sleeves rolled up and stuff and smoking cigars and things so I sit down at this table and I look up at the stage in front of me. There's stages all over the place.

There's really, really hot chick dancing on stage. And in front of her, like staring at her, you know, inches away from her is this huge, huge fat guy. This guy's enormous. And this chick is dancing around she slips out of her g-string really sexy you know it slides down her thighs and down onto the floor and she steps out of it picks up the g-string and then like whips around and wraps the g-string around his neck a couple times and just squeezes the hell out of it. And I'm just, like, totally freaked out. I'm watching this guy, and he goes from beet red to purple,

and he's clutching at the G-string, trying to get it off, and then wham, he just collapses on the stage. I'm stunned. I don't know what to do. But then he, like, gets up. And he's actually got this enormous hard on. And he grabs the girl by the arm. And they just walk off through one of the many doors that are along the back wall. Yeah.

So then this Wall Street dude comes over. He tries he tries to like give me a fist pound and i'm like what he sits down and he points over at the stage and he goes whoa hell of a bear squeeze huh and and i don't even say anything but i'm kind of like what and then he leans in a little bit he looks at my name tag which they gave me at the front. He says, oh, you're one of those government guys. You probably don't know about a bear squeeze. A bear squeeze occurs when a share or commodity has been heavily short sold on a strong expectation that it will fall. Instead of which, and he's gesturing to the stage now it rises

so are you remember how i told you that the ordinary financial instruments the vanilla ones are created back at the office and the exotic ones are made at the strip club well it turns out they are all based on exotic sex acts but the interesting thing you know how on tv when they're trying to explain all these complicated financial instruments and you just cannot understand what the hell is going on yeah well this guy my new wall street friend he just starts showing me around and he's like pointing at these sex acts and I'm like, oh, now I understand what the long position is. Oh, of course, that's how a naked option works. Ah, come div, I get it. Then another Wall Street dude sits down next to us and he checks out my name tag, too.

And he also gets really excited that I'm an ex-government guy. He starts talking to me, telling me all about himself. And it turns out this guy is a senior executive at one of Wall Street's largest ratings agencies. So clearly these guys are good buddies. You know, they're like high-fiving and they're clicking glasses and then they start talking about the wife and kids. Wait a minute though.

I thought there was supposed to be like a separation between the traders and the ratings people. Are you kidding me? Sorry. So it turns out that these two guys are responsible for coming up with the credit default swap. Or at least that's what they tell me.

So I'm skeptical, but they just stand up and go grab these three girls. They drag them up on stage and they start acting it out for me. This is just too much. I can't watch it anymore. So I get up and I go to the bar and I'm walking away and I hear the ratings guy scream out, dude, dude, check this out. It's the floating strike look back option. But I do not turn around. I mean, it's getting to the, I just can't take it at this point. And I almost left, in fact.

I was just about to ditch out on Operation Payback. But then, this guy comes up to me and he's like, Ah, Mr. Chris, we've been expecting you. I'm so glad you're here. And who is this guy, Mr. Burns, we've been expecting you. I'm so glad you're here. And who is this guy, Mr. Burns? Nope. It's ******, the CEO of ******. So he puts his arm around me and explains to me why he's put on this party.

He believes that if he can get the right people to help his people design the next generation of financial instruments, then if there's ever a problem, and he literally winks at me when he says this. He winks and he says, next time, if there's a problem with the next generation of exotic financial instruments, then maybe there will be less noise so I put my drink down and I look him directly in the face and I say well you're lucky I'm here then because I have an idea for the next financial instrument that will make everyone here filthy, filthy rich. The whole bar goes quiet. Everyone is staring at us.

His eye starts twitching. I turn to the crowd and I say, okay, everyone. I'm going to show you something. It's like the opposite of trickle down. I want you all to pay close attention. This is what I call the money shot. Yeah, okay. And how did the CEO of Gold Max react when you, you know, pulled it out?

Are you some kind of pervert? I punched him. so that wraps it up for our bonus episode i really want to thank every single one of you out there in listener land and every single one of you out there in fan land who took the time out to donate to the 2018 radiotopia campaign And there are still two days. Two days. So, come on. Let's get another couple hundred, maybe even thousand of you signed up. Even a dollar counts.

Yep, every donation counts to move this count upwards. You can find out all the information at Radiotopia.fm. Hey, are you dead? No, actually i i just need you to record record the end here come okay i got it all ready for you what's this oh it's a bonus interesting okay so you are listening to benjamin But you have been listening. Oh, sorry. You have been listening to Benjamin Walker's Theory of Everything.

This installment is called Bonus 2018. Radiotopia from PRX.