Berner Phone - Aliza Kelly: Astrology Haters & Hannah’s Chart

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

The hottest astro bitch in the game is in hell today! Aliza is the first celebrity astrologist on the pod and she writes all the horoscopes for Cosmopolitan Magazine! She explains how she went from wanting to be an art dealer to an astrology dating app founder to becoming a professional astrologer, wtf it’s like to read someone’s chart, how she deals with haters, what fucked up stuff happened to her to make her get into astrology, generational trauma, her relationship with her inner child, the power of money manifestation, and going in depth into reading Hannah’s chart!!! GET TIX TO HANNAH'S COMEDY SHOWS HERE BELLESA Visit bboutique.co and get 15% off your new toys and free US shipping today when you use code BERN at checkout! GLOSSIER Get 10% off your first order on Glossier.com/podcast/BERN --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Hell. What's up, guys? Welcome to Hell. I am with Elisa Kelly. Welcome. Thank you. I'm so happy being hell. She's a columnist, a host, an author, but most importantly, an astrologer. And she's not any astrologer. She is the resident astrologer of Cosmopolitan Magazine. She's written two books working on a third. She's basically like the hottest astro bitch in the planet. Because like if I'm going to bring you guys some astrology shit, I'm bringing you the hottest fire, dope lady fire you can ever have.

So she has a weekly podcast, Stars Like Us that I just was on. She read my chart. It was unbelievable. I'm looking through your website. She just gave me one of her books, The Mixology of Astrology, where she makes cosmic cocktail recipes for every sign. How much, how cute can you be? I try.

It's adorable. But she spends her days studying space and mythology, researching the history of esotericism. Did I pronounce that right? No, but you said it beautifully. Wait, let me try it again. Esotericism. Softersie. Esotericism.

Esotericism. Oh, you know what? We're learning here and leading a lot of workshops in private practice. She reads birth charts for hundreds of individuals, including celebrities and public figures. And Bravo Lebrities. And Bravo Lebrities. That's going to be added to the website now. I'm reading this just because I love how well written it is because most comics bios are like,

watch them do some bar shows sometimes. Within each person is a complex cosmology, a symbolic bond between the universe and the existence. End existence. I'm really bad at reading. We alone have the power to manifest meaningful transformation and a social. Astrology provides an ancient vocabulary that helps us understand our incredible superpowers and frustrating blind spots. I sound really pretentious. Well, I bring people on the show who know more than me about things.

And a lot of people are listening right now and they're like, ugh, fucking astrology bullshit. A lot of astrology haters out there. Yikes. What would you say to them? I would say, what's up? Do you want to get your chart ready? You probably secretly like astrology, but are societally conditioned to think that it is a bad way of seeing the world. But in fact, astrology is just a different vocabulary.

Yeah, the one thing that I read, because I love astrology, but obviously there's different levels and in-depthness of astrology. Most people know the getting your horoscope of your sun sign. Also, people have said that astrology is based from like years and years in the past. and how like the tides were, but then tides have changed and does that change signs? Like, what's your opinion on that stuff? So, yes, astrology is based on these archetypes that are thousands of years old.

Yeah. But they're archetypes that are still applicable today. They're the archetype of, you know, like a strict daddy. We have the archetype of like a gambling uncle. We have the archetype of a fertile woman, right? So these are still reference points that we can connect. with in our current society obviously now in 2020 it sounds so futuristic yeah we are no flying cars just jewels that are mango flavored just flying cigarettes we are we're we don't need to you know like

look at the astrology chart to see how many crops we're going to yield or you know how many babies we're going to have or when we're going to die because we're all living longer and we're not yielding crops in the same way we were in the past but a astrology has evolved as we have evolved with our own interests. And now astrology is so much more psychology-driven. It's so much more wellness-driven. So it is basically just a practice. I like to say that astrology is a practice in empathy.

It is a practice of learning to understand yourself and then learning to understand how people are different from you and to find respect for how people are different from you. So have the tides of the planet's, changed and does that affect stuff now? So I practice Western astrology, which is called tropical astrology, which uses the tropic of cancer and Capricorn 23 degrees in 27 minutes as sort of like the barometer of how we're seeing things. There's another type of astrology called sidereal astrology, which is like Indian Vedic astrology. And that uses the stars. So that type

of astrology, which calculates from the stars as opposed from the tropics, takes into account the ecliptic changes of the earth, whereas the astrology that I practice is sort of like stuck between cancer and Capricorn. But that is sort of the boundaries of how we are looking. That's the lens in which how we're using to look at the world. That's the language you're speaking. Exactly. So it's not, you know, astrology isn't a science.

It's not astronomy. me. There's very little relationship between what I do and what an astronomer would do. We don't use the same instruments. We look at the same planets, but we don't even call them the same things. Like, you know, the sun is a planet in astrology. It's not a star. So with that, like, it's, you know, I think that one funny thing I have found with the astrology haters out there is that they love to try to convince me that astrology isn't real. And they're like, how could people be born at the same exact time, live the same life. And it's like, no, that's not how it works.

Like, we're obviously not just reading something and just accepting it at face value. We're still using our critical thinking as we're applying astrology. We're just enhancing our lives through having this understanding that we are going to act differently than we feel. We're going to say things that are differently than we value. You know, there's nuance. People are complex. And astrology is the language that speaks to.

that complexity what made you get involved in this you could say it was written in the stars i mean it's kind of weird like i um i i guess i was always like interested in uh non-traditional sort of mystical occulty things but i was also like religious no um i was also like a punk like i was like you still kind of are thank you she has like an amy winehouseesque look oh my god but a little more spiritual. Yeah. Beautiful description. I haven't heard your voice, your singing voice, but...

Well, you should see me in karaoke. Hell yeah. You shouldn't see me in karaoke. I'm terrible. I studied art history in college. I studied studio art and art history, and I had the plan to basically emulate Mary Boone's life and become like a bad bitch art dealer.

Yeah. Fast forward to a few years ago, she is now in jail for the next 30 years. So I'm really glad I went off. course um i love when people talk about courses because going off course so fun yeah and i also feel like i'm not religious either but i am spiritual in that i feel like rejections and when you get pushed off a course is sometimes to get you back in the right course yes i do believe that um we are always paving our own way you know we are the ones who are steering the ship so we need to decide if

we want the terrain to be like coastal yeah or if we wanted to be mountain region or if we want it to be fucking hell well the way you react to things shapes your reality yes right and our reality is completely subjective um and definitely there is no stars that are going to tell you what you are or aren't going to do um it just is a roadmap for the options that you have so for people to understand this a little more we went really in depth on Elisa's Stars Like Us podcast, but can you give a brief summary of when you did my chart? I was born August 12, 1991 in the Bronx and kind of just at 12.55 p.m., which is V important. Can you just tell me some stuff that we can learn from that? Yes. So when you have your

date, time, and location of birth, you plug it all in and you can go on, if you have an iPhone, I recommend time passages. If you don't have an iPhone, or you're like, I don't want to download. that app, Castro.com is free. You get it for free, your birth chart. And your birth chart is a snapshot of the exact sky at your moment of birth. It was what the planets were doing when you popped out and you were born. And from an astrological perspective, it shows us your personality, your timeline, your likes, your dislikes. It gives us information. And obviously, when I work with people, because this could sound very contradictory to what I just said, I present them with these archetypes you know i will look at somebody's chart and be like oh wow you had a really

influential paternal figure in your life um and then the client will illuminate if that was their father or if that was an older brother who that symbolizes to them and we work together to sort of build the chart and make it come to life um so when i looked at your chart for instance you have the sun and jupiter in leo conjunct your midheaven which is showing us that you are like it's the mid heaven is your legacy your career your son your ego is at the top of your chart being expanded by jupiter so it's like you are going to take up a lot of space like you need to be seen it is very important for you to sort of be famous you know uh and have a name for yourself in one way or the other the question is um are you going to you know like drive yourself crazy getting there with the moon

and vergo we didn't even really talk about that on my show but with the moon and vergo which is so analytical, so detail-oriented, such a perfectionist, that can get in the way of you just like blasting forward into fame because you're so hyper sensitive. You're picking up every single detail and nuance of everything. And then you have a Scorpio Rising, which is showing that you also are a regenerative person, that you're someone who is always transforming and rebuilding and you have this like phoenix energy so we know that you are going to have many different careers in your life that you are probably going to be famous for lots of different reasons um and that's kind of a cool thing too because we don't often talk about being famous for lots of different reasons but when

you look at some of the most famous people they're famous for lots of different reasons you know yeah yeah i wonder like bet midler comes to mind it's but even now people like corner me and be like i love you on summerhouse and someone be like i like your podcast what's summer house and then it's a or someone knew me from playing tennis at Beacon. But yeah, I think we're all such multifaceted people. Also, that blows my mind. But do you also think that's why my stuff is interesting because they're kind of contradictory? Yes.

Yes. I think that contradictions, I love contradictions. When I see like hard aspects they're called in astrology, when I see them in a chart, I'm like, ooh, goody. Do you think that's why I suffer from some mental health stuff? From an astrological perspective, probably. Because some stuff is fighting each other. Yeah, I mean, when we have conflict, it's momentum, but it's also internal strife.

What do you mean by momentum? It's the energy that fuels us forward. Ooh, it's like a catalyst. Right. If everything is too... I am full of energy. If everything is too easy, peasy, like in a birth chart or in somebody's life, like, they're not getting shit done.

Well, it's funny. There are so many people who do want that consistent, like, 9 to 5 or, like, living in a small town and they don't want to be bothered with crazy shit all the time and like for people who are listening who are like that i kind of get it like my life is fucking hectic and crazy pants but i think my head is that too so like if i was put in like a peaceful state i'm uncomfortable yeah i mean when i go out to the country uh the quiet yeah is so anxiety provoking but it's also important to like try to deal i try we try i'm hosting my first retreat in may in joshua tree Oh, my God.

Which is really, it is my favorite place. The desert energy is like I can really, really fuck with the quiet of the desert. It's more of like forest quiet. I've never been to Joshua Tree. It's amazing, yeah. Okay, so as you're telling me all this stuff, like it sounds like you're into like understanding the universe and healing and being connected. What fucked up things happen to you to make you like this?

Oh, I'm not sure if like. We want to know. We're in hell. Oh, boy. And whatever you say, I've probably. covered. Okay, I mean, we, where do we begin? Okay, so pre, you know, generational trauma. Yeah. So we could start centuries back. Yeah. So the main, I would say, recurring themes and the things that I'm really healing are narcissism, addiction, um, escapism, um, not having any sort of sense of reality in my

household growing up a really really nasty divorce between my parents when I was seven uh cancer uh since I my mom having cancer since I was 10 wow um and then obviously like my own then reactions to that so my own addictions my own eating disorders my own like power struggles um and yeah I guess that brings us to right now that is that is fascinating are you do you believe in past lives yes and no i mean i don't believe that like as fabulous as it would be to feel like i was cleopatra in a past life i think that past lives are more of what trauma our family imposes on us that makes sense um like i feel like my past life is still cycling through some of the things that my you know like the generational shit that my family didn't work through i oh my god

I love that you said that because anyone who believes in anything can believe in that. I mean, it's proven that different, you know, people, your chromosomes can, like, change based on trauma. Yes. It's, like, scientifically proven. A lot of New Yorkers, I think, are wild and outgoing and love comedy because we're immigrants. We come from, like, kind of traumatizing times. Like, my family was from Sicily where, like, it was a lot of poverty, and they came here and left family. And then I have a Jewish side.

Holocaust hello um so and people cope with it differently um but it made me feel also a little saner like i suffer from a little oCD i suffer from anxiety i can suffer from depression take the time to understand your family's darkness like who cares about your family being perfect understand like talk to your mom about what she struggles with talk to your grandpa about like his mind yeah you will learn about yourself yes and feel less crazy yes yes and And you'll also understand why you do the things you do. Like at a certain point, like when we're in our late 20s and our early 30s, which is such an important time for us, you know, independently from astrology,

but also within astrology, it's sort of like the epicenter of the first, it's like the climax to the first part of our narrative of the story of our life. It's like big drama happens. So when we reach that point, it's like we have the choice. Like, do we continue to perpetuate this pain, or do we stop it? Do we say, okay, I see you. You know, I see how this has influenced how my grandmother's eating disorder, created my mother's eating disorder, created my eating disorder.

Like, am I, do I want to continue this chain? Absolutely not. Why would I want to do that? But I have to be brave enough to then sort of look back, not just at my mom, but all the generations of people who have come past that and break the cycle. And the only way we can do that is by looking at our family. I'm pulling up a tweet that I just did because that's how I live my life. And I just posted and I said, BRB trying to unlearn all my toxic childhood patterns.

Yes. I feel like so much of adulthood. In your teens, you're like learning stuff and early 20s, you're learning stuff. And then by like 28, I'm like, yeah, I need to unlearn all that bullshit that I thought I had are all those people who told me these things. And you go back to kind of how you were as a child before, like, all the influences started hitting you. But also, there's so many raw parts of you that as a child that are great, that you don't,

that you want to relearn, like the playfulness, the goofiness, the innocent, like, there's so many parts that I miss about myself that I want back. And I feel like that's alignment, if anything. Yes, but I have an interesting relationship with my little child self because, um, she also I think was very antsy like she wanted her life to be bigger than it was and she was like felt claustrophobic and this is even before my parents got divorced I was just doing some EMDR highly recommend for anyone who is working through some trauma stuff woo found memories that are not visual that are just sensory memories and it was from when I was like two three years old and I was miserable miserable in them in a lot of ways I feel like I'm happier I'm increasingly happier than I ever have been in my life and it's because I have more agency over my life does this make me a control freak absolutely yeah like for sure but and I it's like more of your comfort zone yeah I'm figuring that

out as I go I think when I was young I was very playful I was very creative um but I was very antsy and I was very bossy everyone tell me that I would tell all the adults to sit down and say we're going to be in class and I'm the teacher. Uncle Johnny, be quiet. And it was so funny because everyone else feels like, Hannah's boss and my mom's like, she's going to be a leader. And I think like you pull certain sides that you liked about yourself. But I also think I was so antsy because I wanted to be like, go to an ice skating rink and not know how to skate and be like, I want to be the girl in the middle who's doing jumps. And my dad's like, you can't do that. You have to learn how to do it first. But I just like always wanted to do the hardest, greatest thing. Yeah. And I think

so much of our life we like will black out and sometimes like the hardest part is re-remembering things and understanding why it happened and then working through it yeah i mean i i whenever i lead a workshop um i always say like how many of you guys are even going to remember you are ever here you know like we live most most of our life we don't remember that's crazy yeah we just move through the Isn't it weird the random things we do remember? Yes. Like it isn't always critical moments. It's like a taste of something or like a passing by or like someone saying something random.

Yeah, I mean, our consciousness is storing everything, even though we don't remember it. Our consciousness is like an ever expanding infinite landscape that is just taking things that we don't even know that we're processing. Like the person on the subway, the way a building looks, a smell and like storing it. And then we'll see some of that come out in our dreams, especially when it's like, it was kind of you, but it was like, not you. It's like a composite of like all the fucking people we see all day long. I have the most realistic dreams. It's never like about like dragons and like it's always like me walking into a room

and like a conversation being had. Me too. It's like wild. It's very frustrating. It's very frustrating because you wake up in moods. Yes. And I will be mad at my boyfriend for like 48 hours. The other night I had a dream that he proposed to somebody else in front of me.

And I was like, how could you? you fucking do that and this is now in conscious life and he was like I didn't and I was like well you kind of did like somewhere you did in my consciousness you fucking did that it happened somewhere it happened somewhere can you tell me what your chart says my chart reflects all of my shit I think that the reason that I found my way into astrology oh I guess to like close that loop is I wanted to be an art dealer I started pursuing that and I was seeing that I was not living my truth and I mean that in like the most literal way possible to be a successful our dealer in your early 20s you need to come from money you need to come from a family that has connections

because otherwise you are just chasing rich people all day long and when you're in your early 20s you're also like dealing with men who have money you know and like it's just bad bad yeah very confusing um so I was going broke by pursuing my job because I was like trying to keep up with this lifestyle that I could not afford. So I was becoming increasingly disenchanted, just feeling like I was completely losing myself. I was talking with a friend about how, like, we were also single and on Tinder and we were like, oh my God, all these guys are so horrible. Like, wouldn't it be great if you could really meet someone that you are compatible with? Oh, like astrology, like that's a compatibility tool. Lo and behold, in a very similar way, both of us were Leo's. We started an astrology

dating app but like not having any idea how to start an app at all just like we're like oh that's a what year was this 2014 2015 yeah um and the pushback that we got on it was insane i mean to be a young woman who's trying to like work in tech in a mystical space at that time like we would literally get laughed out of the room also astrology wasn't that in at that point like right now it's the hottest topic ever but back then I could tell like probably most people were laughing at it yes they were like this like also you have to pitch to men yes and it was pitching to men who would tune their wives out when they would hear them talking about astrology so then here comes to girls rolling and being like invest in our astrology app and they were like all these dating apps need is women and like astrology

will bring women on the apps yes I mean I have I've let that journey go a long time ago so I so I left my job to pursue that and then I so entrepreneurial what is the name it was it called a line um did that for as long as I could meanwhile I still have was in the debt from the previous job obviously I'm not paying myself for this venture yeah so now I'm also working as a waitress like I'm having like massive sort of like ego deaths as I'm trying to build myself up yeah um coming face to face with my family's finances how they have no money I was like kind of confused by that throughout my life And then I was like, oh, shit, no. The reason that I got scholarships to everything is because it was financial aid packages.

Like, but nobody was communicating. Oh, they weren't talking about it. Which is also kind of an ego thing. Yes, yes, exactly. And here I am like going to fucking art Basel and shit, like fronting. Like I'm a rich kid in L.A. So basically like destroying my ego. Yeah.

While working with astrology, starting to work with astrologers to build this company and the language that they're speaking and the way that they're communicating is like finally like something. is clicking where everything else was falling apart yeah um suffice it to say that fell apart but that app led you to yeah exactly i love when failures like i put um quotation marks with my hands you guys didn't see that failures you missed it failure failures actually are successes yes so you met this community and then you kind of got into it and then you realized that you could do like one-on-one consultations or group things. Well, it was, it's interesting because when I, so my app failed, quote-unquote, in 2016, $43 in my bank account.

You basically were like, I don't want, did you invest money into it? I didn't have enough money to invest. But you basically were like, this isn't going to work. Yeah, we were waiting for this, for these investors who like, when we Googled one of their names, like one of them had been arrested for prostitution, like, not the most stand-up guys. Yeah. You know, the dude. having hired prostitutes yeah to clarify okay um and then was just a lot of shady shit going

yeah um so when that investment fell through which was a fucking blessing because they started to put all of these terms in the contract that they would basically would have owned us yeah um and we didn't get the money the app had run out of money because it's fucking expensive to develop an app who knew and i had no money and i was in l.a and i basically had to decide like do i want to keep do I want to get a bullshit job here or do I want to get a bullshit job in New York because either way I'm going to have to pay rent New York baby so I chose New York came back here both of the most expensive places right I mean very funny that those are my options but I'm from here so I basically moved back home and it happened to be New York

and I took a job at as an assistant at a hedge fund at this point I pretty much feel like my life is never ever ever going to get on track and I'm 27 like I'm not a kid I but I'm sort of like trying to make the most out of the situation and I'm like they the great benefits vacation time did you say you're 30 now yeah so three years ago you basically didn't have a job which is funny because I'm 28 and three years ago I basically didn't have a job either yeah yeah and you kind of there are certain people we have similar things in our charts other than both being lios that like there are certain people where it's like in order for them to evolve they need to hit rock bottom and like i that's definitely

the story of my 20s like was just rock bottom after rock bottom i had to hit rock but because the universe was like you will push through like i had to be fired from my job i had to like hate my job so much to quit the other one like i had to i had to make i had to be in a terrible relationship to get out of it yes but i guess when you think of things in that way you guys when you hit rock that's like i love breakups because i'm like oh my god this means there's more for me yeah right The story is still unraveling. So you're working at this hedge fund. So I'm working at this hedge fund and all the while infinite shout out forever more to my

amazing mentor, Annabel Gatt, who was the advising astrologer for a line who I knew because she was also in the punk scene in New York City. And when I came back to New York, I remember she was like, come over. I went to her place in Greenpoint, Greenport, New Place. And I was like everything, like, I'm. miserable like literally nothing is good in my life and she was like okay why don't you come and take astrology classes here with me and that's something that you can look forward to and at that time she was working with a bunch of other students and i literally was over at her house

every single day um and it was the only thing that was i looked forward to and it's funny because you're a very artistic person were you able to retain the information easily yeah i think that it's when you have a very visual memory it makes astrology easier okay cool I have a visual memory cool you'll be an amazing astrology because I have I get intimidated by the books which is paragraphs of reading like naming planets I don't process it that way I wouldn't have been able to either I needed to be sort of like guided visually and orally how sexy um in order to really process it and understand it and I was so you know the universe like a lot and just the right way and not the wrong way at that moment. And I was investing all of my free time

into learning and studying. And I had no intention of profiting from it. Yeah, I was about to say, when did the monetization happen? The monetization happened about a year later, a little less than a year. But you were in a happier place? No. No, I was miserable. I was miserable, but I did know a lot about astrology. Yes, exactly. I was miserable because I was still working at this hedge fund. I was just really, it was bad, dark times. But people started to, you know, I had at that point been doing astrology all the way since the Align days. So people were like, and astrology is getting more popular. So Allure contacts me to start doing the weekly horoscopes because the original horoscope writer was like sick that day, sorry girl. Then people are saying like, oh, do you want to

yes I do I but horoscope writing is very exhausting horoscope writing is not normal writing I'm medium to cold about writing horoscopes most of the time but I do love to write um so horoscopes and then workshops and then like slowly it like just things started these opportunities started just like cropping up out of fucking nowhere and I was like okay yes yes I'll take it I'll take it I was not ready at all to be full-time astrologer and then one day I didn't even know I know that was a thing. I didn't know it was a thing. I didn't know I could really get paid for it. I didn't know I could make a life out of it. Literally, I walk into the hedge fund and there's a call and everyone gets on it. The boss is like, okay, I'm closing down the hedge fund. As of right now, you no longer all have jobs, right? It's done. And I, and that was it. And then I got three months severance. And it was in that three months that I built my entire business that I'm still working off now. to me how it's like you have to be fucking kicked in the ass out on the street yeah and then you i i tell it to my friends a lot who were like but i feel really secure right now and i'm like have faith in yourself

that when your back is against the wall you will figure it out so during those three months what are some things that happened well i was my default was like i need money i'm i need to support myself but for the first time ever in my life, I had money coming in. Yeah. It's ever and it was like, it was the only thing that I had been missing this whole time was just the comfort of knowing that like I didn't need to take the lowest common denominator opportunity. Yeah. And then I didn't need to like throw myself back into the job market immediately. Yeah. And I could just catch my breath. It blows my mind like on a podcast episode I did where I talked to somebody. She was just a very offhanded comment about her friend

who had just left her job and visited her in Europe for two weeks. As she was saying that I was like, I would have, I could have never done that because I, if I lost my job or if I left my job, I would immediately need to start working again in order to, because I have so much trauma around money. Like, it's such a triggering thing for me. But for the first time at that moment, I was able to like be patient and wait and build connections. And make decisions. And make decisions. not based on money yes and sometimes i mean that situation's great but if people can like really think like okay if i didn't need to pay the bills what do i want to do and then how can i figure it out i think summer house i'm being honest they don't pay me that well it's second season of a reality show

but it gave me enough buffer to be like oh i can do comedy shows for free and like not feel guilty yes and that sometimes like those free investments you do for yourself are actually what makes the most money for you in the long run yes and you don't see it while you're doing it because if you're if you think about money too much it really cuts all your creativity yes i mean i feel creatively inspired by money too yeah like i feel like especially now that i'm in the space where like nobody there's no path that i'm following like and everything is an option it's like sure like let's do a reality tv show based on astrology and a book series and an international tour Yeah. Why not? Like, do you feel like when people are talking to you, they want to put you in a box or like put you on a path and it frustrates them?

I think that people, I'm kind of going back to how we started. Like the astrology haters love to like try to like throw me off and have these intellectual conversations with me about science. And it's like, nah, dude, like I still go to the doctor. Like I'm like I'm still like a person of this era and time. But. I just, I know more. I can read people more. I'm more sensitive. I'm more gentle. I'm more kind. Like, that's intelligence. Are you a little bit of a medium?

No. I mean, I'm very, I'm an empath, so I read people's emotions. But no, I don't have any spirits coming in. Do you find it exhausting to be so aware of people's emotions? Yes. Do you have to spend alone time a lot? Well, I used to be a massive extrovert. Okay.

Where I only could have energy from other people. and as I've gotten older, I've become more of an introvert. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. But it's also like now I basically work in isolation most of the time. And how do you like that? Well, I got a dog, so we're chilling.

What kind of dog? She's a rescue. Beagle Chihuahua. Oh, interesting. Her name is Lucy. That's my middle name. Oh, my God. It's such a cute name.

I wish it was my first name. I mean, how is cute, but I just wish I like it a lot. Hannah Lucy is really cute. Thank you. That's a baby girl name. It is. It's a baby. It's a man, Lucy.

So I want to wrap this up with a final game called The Seven Deadly Sins. Seven Deadly Sins. You ready? I guess so. What are you greedy about? Money. I think you're like, planets. Yes, of course.

Money. I mean, I am and I'm not. Like I teach money manifestation. Ooh. And I love doing money manifestations with people because I'm very powerful and it always works. It's worked for me. And the way, basically the secret sauce is to get more money, give money. So donate to an organization that you care about.

Venmo your friend who you know is having a tough time, like circulate money energetically. And that is the way that you'll always get more like more money, more abundance. That's how I overall feel about energy in general in terms of like kind of. or you want more love in your life, give love. They're just like, I wish someone loved me. But I would say that despite the fact that I am very like, you know, I'll always like support my friends and buy their books or I give money to organizations a lot. Like I still have scarcity thinking when it comes to it.

So I still get like really wound up in certain things and I'm trying to learn how to release that. It's funny because I've been told that like money always surrounds me. Like I'll never have an issue with money. But I was very cheap and I realized that was just a control thing. And I felt like if I wasn't like knowing exactly what I was spending all the time, then I'd be out of control. And it took me like becoming depressed to realize like that shit is so stupid that like me spending $15 on an Uber shouldn't ruin my day. And now I like spend so much on Uber's and stuff. And now I have a spending problem.

And now I'm getting reported by Uber for a news. But it's like there is a you don't want to go extreme in either direction of control. finding that happy medium of like i know i trust myself that i know if i'm going too far with something um who are you envious of i i think i've in a lot of ways like really fix this one i don't no one comes to mind right now i have i one of my practices is wishing the people that you're envious or jealous of well um and i have spent so much energy doing that that i genuinely want people who I would even like I'd be like I'm so competitive with them in my head to like succeed that it's like they've become extensions of myself do you just tell yourself that over

and over again are you like and it starts to actually be an authentic feeling yes when like when like when when I was practicing it if I would see on social media somebody had like a really seem like they have a great gig and I was like why didn't I find out about that I would be like man I hope they fucking kill it yeah like yes double like share it genuinely like pushing it out to the world get it to as many people as possible i hope that they succeed and i'm really genuinely not i'm i'm envious of myself i got even excited yeah i got excited you even saying that i think i do that but it was because tennis was i was straight out you have to root against other girls there's a whole ranking system if you want to be ranked higher she has to lose this match and if she wins this match i have to

play her and i don't want to have to play her it was constant rooting against people so the second i got into a creative space and i hated the feeling of jealousy or coaches being like why don't you play like her why isn't her back in as good as hers i was like wait we're not playing against each other i can actually root for her and then with that became like freedom yeah of my own mind and like so much more abundance i think for myself and i realized like i love bragging about my friends i love being like oh she's my friend well i mean even from like just a completely selfish level like you want to align yourself with successful people yeah i mean you are really like the five people you surround yourself with and I've been talking to Paige who's one of my best friends on summer she's my best friend on summer house

and we've you know we're kind of lined up to compete against each other and we laugh because like we to and whenever one of us gets weird about something we talk it through like we'll be like you know I noticed that like someone said that like you've more followers than me and it's like fucking weird and then I'll be like yeah it is fucking weird that we're stuck in the stupid thing but you're the shit and like we just build each other up and like and face all our insecurities together yes it makes such a difference it frees up so much space what do you gluttonous about croissants i fucking love croissants so you how do you pronounce it chrissants okay i'm not gonna lie sometimes i say quissants oh because i'm an asshole yeah well i feel weird being like croissant

chrissant well i i definitely can't i'm not going to even try to say it with a i had i can't even speak French and I'm like croissant croissant I had to tweet that went viral that said you can tell a lot about a person by how they pronounce croissant what do you think about my pronunciation I like you're new yorker cool and I started saying croissant because I don't eat them a lot yeah and I wanted to I don't I try not to eat them a lot but like yeah hell yeah what's even better than a croissant what croissant sandwiches we put shit in it I don't I just go straight butter straight butter croissant You put butter on it? No, no, no.

I was about to say that. That's some glutin shit. That's crazy. I'm like, now I have judgments on you. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath? Feel angry a lot more than I used to. Why? Because I am trying to not just be sad.

Oh. I'm trying to explore a full range of emotions. I love that self-awareness. I would say having the safety of a really solid relationship unfortunately has brought out my anger. Yeah. Because again, like, I feel like I'd never felt safe enough to call people out or yell at people because I was like, oh, I don't want to lose anything.

But now that I'm in a safe relationship, it's like, I, Luke, I love you. Thank you for dealing with me. Cool name. Yes, I agree. I want to name my kids Luke and Lucy. With the middle name, I think you can make it work. Yeah, with anger, I feel also women are taught not to be angry and to express anger. so um go curse someone out we're in new york no one cares when was the last time you were a sloth

so like lazy well i have so much work to do all the time um that sometimes like i'll reach maximum capacity yeah and i'll just be like nothing gets done yep you ever know those hours where all you want to do is one thing and in your procrastination for that one thing like five hours go by and you're like i could have just done something else story of my life or actually just relaxed during this four hours instead of like procrastinating i'm going to do what i'm going to do it i did that yesterday with one podcast ad i couldn't i just like couldn't get myself to record it sometimes i just can't do this thing and i end up just being like you know what this isn't getting done netflix let's go hell yeah i just watched the entire office oh my gosh a lot of seasons

wow well congratulations it gets really bad at the end oh that's upsetting i know people don't talk about that enough um when was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something Um, I don't know if it is the last time that I let it get in the way of something, but I definitely have a, I definitely have a pretty big ego. And if I feel like I'm being made to seem stupid or diminutive or like I'm being put into like this like wacky, mystical box, then I start to get like my ego starts to come out and I start to get really proud about it. And I'm sure over these years there have been opportunities that I've turned down because I felt like they were beneath me because they were limiting. I mean, do I care at the end of the day? No, not really. You deal with like with astrology, the ego does play a role.

Do you try to be like, get another side of you to overtake it or how does that manifest? Well, I have this for astrology listeners out there, eighth house delium, son in the eighth house, conjunct my south node. anytime I do something that comes purely from a place of ego, it blows up in my face. It's the trap of my chart. So I have had to learn how to not in order to be successful. Well, it's good to see the result of your ego. Yeah. Who is the last person you lusted over?

Like, do you have any celebrity crushes? No, I feel so boring. I don't have any celebrity crushes. What's your type? I in so many ways like I feel there have been phases of types I've been with my current boyfriend now for almost three years so thank you it's a long time and I feel like he has become like I love him and he's become really like a symbol of my type in the past I was attracted to narcissists you're like I love a narcissist I love addicts well I love addicts I realized that so much of me, you know, in these relationships was me not fulfilling my creative

potential. And when I started to fulfill my creative potential, I realized that what I wanted in a partner was so different than what I thought. I thought that I wanted to be with someone who was like alpha. Me too. Turns out I just want to be alpha. When I go for the loud party boys, it's terrible because I am alpha too. And I realize it was just me not feeling strong enough within myself. Yes. Oh my God, you nailed it. Well, to wrap this up, I ask everyone the same question, which is, what advice would you give to people on how to cope with their hell? Hell is not an easy place to be, but in astrology, one of my favorite things about it is that everything is cyclical. So it reminds us that, like, even the toughest and darkest of times

two will pass, and that there is going to be some resolution that you may not be able to see yet, but is out there. And you just have to get yourself to the other side. Nothing is stagnant. Nothing is stagnant. That's just not how the universe works. Elisa, you are so fascinating, so incredible, so smart. I am so happy that you've been on. Where can people follow you? Where can people buy your books? Join your, whatever you're on.

So I'm on all the social media, including TikTok. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Watch out. At Elisa Kelly, A-L-I-Z-A, K-E-L-L-Y. That's also my website. You can buy my books. Wherever books are sold, support your local bookstore.

Store. Clearly I'm getting into character. and join the Constellation Club, which is our online content. Oh, yeah, I just joined. And then you have cosmopolitan going on, and you have some retreats. Yes. I think this will not be the first. Yes, I hope.

I mean, this won't be the only one. It won't be the only one. I'm so excited about it. Yes, come along for the ride. Thank you guys for coming to hell. I have a Patreon option now for $3 a month. I'll put you my close friends, and I'll give you Summer House recaps while Summer House is going on.

Oh, shit. Sign me up. It's going to be rowdy. Yeah, $3. What is $3? I poop out $3. Anyway, and if you enjoy this episode, screenshot it, rate, subscribe, review, swipe up, who knows? I love you guys so much.

I'll talk to you later. Bye.